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coolwyous · 1 month ago

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┈─★ 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 ( 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙧 .) / pt ii.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ a few years after the worst heartbreak you've ever known, you're back at the ranch for one week to pay your respects after your grandfather suddenly passes away. you're convinced you're over the stupid farmhand that made you swear off love— until of all people, megan skiendiel shows up at your door, same hat, same boots, same sad brown eyes.

ˎˊ˗ 🌾 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🔓୭˚. ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️

➴ pairing: cowboy! megan skiendiel x f!reader

➴ genre + wc: 12k, modern cowboy!au, exes to lovers, jealous + protective bf megan wahhh, explores themes of grief, slice of life, small town vibes, MILD angst, we KILL the cowboy (jk happy ending i swear!!)

➴ you might want to tune in...: 𝗢𝗦𝗧: golden hour - kacey mustgraves. ♫ 𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜: i don't trust myself (with loving you) - john mayer. ♩ 𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜: still your girl - gamma skies. ♫ 𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜𝗜: wait by the river - lord huron. ♩ 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗦: superglue - role model. ♫

➴ 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗶 can be found here. ᵎᵎ

cw:// suggestive scene, mentions of death (parent/grandparent.)

your skin crawls being there. same place, 3 years later.

“sorry we couldn’t get you from the airport,” your uncle apologizes.

“it’s okay. the train wasn’t all that bad.”

“it’s so nice to see your face round here again. wish it was under better circumstances.”

you’re not quite sure how to respond. when your grandfather passed away suddenly, your parents did nothing but argue about who would come to represent your family at the funeral. both insanely busy with their own jobs, the role fell to you, much to your protest. but considering his money was what was going to fuel you through your future goal of med school, you had little room left to argue.

(after all, you’d also promised yourself you’d never mention a word of what that summer did to you, and that was a promise easily kept.)

now here you are, back at the place you swore you’d never return to, trying to get through the week unscathed.

“who are they?” you ask, motioning to the two random boys working together to take your bag into he house. they stumble over themselves, struggling to get the handle to tuck away.

“just some sorry excuses for cowboys,” old pete spits. “ever since the kid left, we needed the hands. but they ain’t much help.”

the implication isn’t lost on you. they needed two guys to do what megan did by herself.

“y/n,” your aunt’s voice cuts in, sounding worried. “your uncle should tell you-”

“i don’t want to talk about it,” you cut her off, knowing already by the tone where this is headed.

“she doesn’t want to talk about it,” your uncle reiterates, shrugging.

you’re napping on the sofa by the open window to enjoy the mountain air breeze when a rustle outside stirs you. you hear the crunch of gravel, some footsteps making their way up to the porch, and a thud as someone sits in the old rocking chair.

“use the truck as long as you’re here, you get that old thing to run better than anyone. thank you again for coming,” your uncle’s voice is muffled against the hum of the cicadas.

“don’t mention it.”

you feel a jolt through your spine. you know that stupid voice.

(worse, you remember that stupid phrase. her first words to you.)

you leap off the couch and see her clearly through the window.

she’s leaning against one of the posts of the patio fence, arms crossed over her chest, a suede jacket and blue jeans with those stupid boots and that stupid fucking hat.

you feel immeasurable rage bubble up and out of your chest, and before the sense can kick in, you’re racing past the front door and pushing her backwards full force, sending her toppling backwards off the railing and onto the dirt.

those brown eyes look up at you, wide and full of confusion as she processes what’s going on, and you feel instantly sick to your stomach as you take her in. three years weren't enough to forget every feature of her face, and you ache realizing that her eyes are heavier, the creases between her brows deeper, and her smile lines faded.

(she’s older now, and granted you are too, but years ago, you were dreaming of being the one to grow old with her.)

“you’ve got some fucking nerve showing up here,” you spit.

if you were half a screw more unhinged, you’d slap her then and there, but a part of you knows a girl who takes beatings from thousand-pound cattle or pissed off horses would probably hardly even flinch at you.

she rises to her feet slowly, the patio fence the only thing between the two of you. she dusts off her jeans and eyes you with uncertainty. you want to be in her face again, but she mirrors your movement like a wrangler watching a bull, careful and calculated. for every bit you lean to move towards her, she leans away.

“y/n…” your uncle tries to quell you, standing up from the chair.

“you didn’t even go to your mom’s own funeral and you’re coming to my granddad’s, who you barely fucking knew?” you blurt, barely able to contain yourself as you stumble over your own feet. “what kind of stupid fucked logic is that?”

her jaw goes hard, and she pulls the brim of her hat down to cover her eyes from your view. she waves curtly to your uncle and makes her way over to the truck, and it fills you with rage to see her drive away down the road so easily.

“i tried telling you–” your uncle starts, but you don’t want to hear it. you sprint back upstairs into your room and lock the door, trying to calm your racing heart.

it’s just a week, but it might as well be another summer in hell.

they know not to ask you about her.

“i wouldn’t recommend the fields tonight, stay here,” your aunt tells you gently, seeing you pull a jacket over your shoulders as you make your way downstairs, having been holed up in your bedroom since last night’s interaction.

but if anything, that pisses you off more, this stupid girl won’t be the reason you’re stuck inside all day, and you take a horse out through the property to clear your mind.

(maybe you’ll be less stubborn next time.)

you recognize her instantly once you see her in the steer pen, beer can in one hand, crushed cans littering the fence post where her jacket is hanging and the horse is tied to. your first instinct is to turn around, but your hands stay firm on your horse’s reins instead of backing the two of you out of there.

you can see her outline faintly against the sunset. she’s waving her hat in the steer’s face, taunting the beast intentionally, dipping out of his way as soon as it starts to run towards her.

a one-man bullfight.

as soon as you get your horse finally turning, deciding you’ve had enough, you see her trip over the heel of her boot, slipping and landing back-first into the ground. the steer, seeing red, starts to run directly towards her.

you feel your stomach lurch. as angry as you are, a half ton creature crushing her is probably not the revenge you were seeking.

you dismount quickly and run straight up to the fencing, waving your hands wildly.

“hey! hey you!” you scream at the bull, the desperation in your voice apparent. it breaks the silence between the bull and megan, and breaks his concentration briefly. he turns to look at you, realizing you’re behind the fence, and then turns back towards his previous victim.

but megan, as much as you hate her, is quick on her feet to scramble out of the pen and roll underneath the fence post, her chest heaving as she escapes the near-death experience.

she’s wobbly as she gets to her feet, breathing heavily still. she grabs her hat off from the ground and dusts it off.

“thanks for rescuing me.”

“you’re selfish as shit, for so many reasons, but getting yourself killed by a cow on the week of my grandpa’s funeral would be another notch on your stupid belt.”

“not my best idea,” she wrinkles her nose, and you feel rage boiling from beneath your skin.

“drunk, stupid cowboy.” you shove into her, feeling the hot tears threaten the corners of your eyes.

“you loved this drunk, stupid cowboy, once,” she bites back immediately, faster than you had ever expected, and her voice is strained, as if she’s been screaming or yelling.

or crying.

you say nothing and turn around, mounting back on your horse to leave.

she says nothing, but you hear the crunch of the metal beer can beneath her boot.

“you said she stopped living here,” you tell your uncle over dinner that night. you try to be calm, but your tone changes the words into an accusation instead of a comment.

“she did,” he tries to reassure you. “she came into town for the service.”

“is that where bruce went?” you question, having noticed only tilla’s presence on the property. “you let him leave with megan?”

“who’s bruce?” one of the replacement farmhand boys asks dumbly, and old pete simply slaps the back of his head to chastise him for interrupting.

“she needed him more than we did,” he insists. “i felt bad splittin’ the two up. she sends me pictures of him every week.”

“you guys still talk?” you feel the back of your neck light on fire. isn’t your family supposed to have your back? “is that how she found out about grandpa?”

“your grandpa loved that kid, said she respected the land, understood it,” old pete interjects, seeing your uncle clearly drowning under your line of questioning. “they talked even after she quit workin’ here.”

“the service is on sunday, like he would have wanted, and then they read his will on wednesday when your cousins all get here,” your aunt reminds you, as if it’s supposed to offer you comfort.

“i don’t want to be stuck seeing her.”

“that might be hard,” your uncle rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “she agreed to come help out on the property for a few days, just while we arrange everything—”

“you’re joking,” you blurt. “but those new boys are living in her old room.”

“she’s staying in the old log cabin up the road by the stables. you aunt never let us go in there cause of how cold the nights get, but meg figured out the wood stove and where the smoke was leaking from, that damned kid. always so sharp.”

“y/n, you leave in a week, and it’s not like she’s living in the house and having family meals with us. i know it’s not ideal, but…” your aunt tries to console you, but you’ve already stood up by the time she trails off.

you take your plate up to your room and finish dinner with your book in silence. your aunt’s words ring in your head. just get through the week.

the next day, thursday, you’re going stir-crazy by mid-day. you’re tired of being holed up in your room since the sunrise.

if you run into megan, you’ll simply walk away. free will, or whatever. you deserve the right to go explore and find closure, and then never think of this place again.

and somehow, despite the hundreds of acres the property owns, you’re reading up against the fencepost, trying to enjoy the summer sun and the smell of the clean mountain air through the tall grass, and you hear a quiet hum. that gentle, soft hum that had once calmed every pressing worry in your body.

megan’s words ring through your ears.

you loved her, once.

“y/n,” she breathes, recognizing you as she walks along the trail, hands in her pocket.

“what do you want?” you ask, watching as she approaches cautiously.

“i owe you an apology,” she tells you, kneeling down to be at eye level, still keeping a fair amount of distance between the two of you. her statement catches your attention.

you don’t owe her forgiveness, but part of you needs the closure.

“i’m listening.”

she takes a deep breath, her eyes avoiding yours. her hands wring together, as if she’s rehearsed this and is nervous to forget her lines.

and then she opens her mouth, and your heart sinks.

“i took advantage of you that summer, when you were lonely. that was shitty and irresponsible of me. i should have known better. i’m sorry.”

you feel the bile rise up in your throat. you weren’t sure what to expect, but surely this was the worst possible thing to come out of what she could say. that was the last possible perspective you’d have taken about that summer, the way you two grew closer by equal parts proximity and shared time getting to know each other, like two opposites discovering just how much they balanced the other out.

“that’s how you’re looking at this?” you ask in disbelief.

“i was the only person around your age for miles,” she shakes her head, still avoiding your gaze.

“you are so full of shit,” you breathe, completely unable to say more than that. “my god.”

“sorry, y/n.”

“you know, i was hoping when my uncle said you’d left, that you’d gone and done some reflecting and growing and there would be even a chance at closure with you.” you stand up, worried if you stay seated any longer, you might pen up too much energy and try to push her again. “but you haven’t changed at all.”

you’re half expecting her to defend herself, but instead, she simply tilts her head looking up at you from where she’s still sitting.

“what, like you’ve changed?”

you scowl at her. “i’m a completely different person than i was back then.”

“tiger can’t change its stripes,” megan says simply. “people don’t change.”

“but they grow,” you cut back quickly, feeling the anger threatening to boil over. “and if you don’t grow, you die sad and alone, which is what’s going to happen to you while i go off and live my life.”

you see megan’s brow twitch.

“and i’ll go off and live it with someone who isn’t scared to be in love with me, ‘cause that’s what i deserve, and that wasn’t you,” you continue, before turning on your heel to start walking away. you’d give anything to make sure she doesn’t see you cry. “i don’t deserve someone who minimizes it or writes it off or runs away from it.”

you hear the crunch of her boots against the dirt as she gets up and catches up to you easily, her voice ringing out from behind you.

“sorry for minimizing it.”

“it’s fucking gross for me to talk about it, but i’m not afraid to admit it like you are. i loved you so much and i genuinely pictured the future with you, and to hear you talk it down to me just being lonely and young— i hate thinking that’s what you think of me.” you stop briefly, trying to shake your head to stop the tears from continuing. “you ruined everything.”

but then she reaches out to grab your wrist, and the contact makes your whole body illuminate with electricity. her grip is gentle, but so unbelievably strong. her eyes are finally seeking yours, her gaze hard and serious, as if she’s flipped a switch.

“did you find someone else while you went home?” she asks, her voice low.

“who cares if i did?” you yank your arm out of her grasp. “i wanted it to be you.”

“i care,” she says weakly, and you decide you’ve had enough.

whatever version of megan you might’ve loved is long gone.

“no you don’t care. all you care about is protecting yourself.” you leave your book there, deciding you’ll come back for it another time, and turn on your heel to walk back towards the lodge. “i’m leaving. i’ll see you at the funeral, then i can’t wait to never fucking think about you ever again. bye megan.”

one of the trees by the creek catches your attention as you walk back to the lodge, trying to clear your head of thoughts of the ginger.

there’s a little notch carved into the side of it, like a tally mark.

you turn around the tree and notice that the whole thing is notched. carefully scratched tally marks as high as you can reach, down to the very bottom, made by a hunting knife or a swiss army knife or something.

you keep walking straight back to the lodge. you could swear you hear something like your name being called out behind you, but you chalk it up to the wind and leave it where it lays.

friday morning, two days before the funeral service. you’ve managed to find a rhythm where you move fast enough around the property to not get caught up enough to run into megan again. this time, you’re rustling around in the wooded area by the field, hoping to figure out where the hell your book ended up.

you hear the faint rustle of leaves, and then a quiet set of yips and yelps. your legs go numb as you recognize the pattern— megan had taught you how to recognize the noises of different animals, and coyotes sound an awful lot like what you’re hearing around you.

“hey pete?” you call out, trying to see if your sounds can potentially scare them off. “pete?”

“not funny,” you yell a little louder, your voice shaking slightly. you hear the yelps getting louder, a bit closer, and you try to ramp up your yells, clapping as well. “get outta here! go!”

the noises only come closer, and you wish you would have come prepared with some bear spray or something to get out of this, but before you can worry too much, there’s a rapid sound of crunching twigs through the woods.

someone is running to you.

you can only hope it’s pete, or your uncle, but the ginger hair is quickly colliding into you, landing the both of you into the dirt. you can’t hear the animals any more, and figure it was megan’s chaotic racket that scared them off.

“you okay?” she asks quickly, her arms holding her up to hover over you.

“get off of me,” you huff, trying to push off her shoulders.

she steps away, and you see the fresh rips in her jeans, the scuffs on her boots, and the briars all stuck to her.

you look back from where she had run– a thicket of bristles, and you see the barbed wire just a few yards behind.

“what did you do?” you question, trying to piece it together.

“i might’ve gotten caught up in one of the wire fences when i heard you. came running, probably should have been more careful,” she admits, staring down at her ruined pair of levi’s.

“don’t do that again,” you threaten, but your heart abandons you. the near-miss with the bull was enough. you can’t risk unpacking the pain of something happening to her.

“okay,” she breathes simply. she searches for something in her back pocket, and retrieves your book. “this is yours.”

she leaves the book next to you, and turns to disappear back into the treeline.

friday evening. you’re face to face with the pond. the air is sticky, oppressively hot even as the sun comes down, and you decide you’re not afraid of anything if you’re able to face all these memories of megan and make it out in one piece.

you don’t exactly want either of the new boys watching you strip down to your underwear, so you tell yourself you can teach yourself how to swim without supervision as long as you stay with your head above water.

admittedly, you’re getting more and more confident with each stride. it’s easy enough to think you’re getting the hang of it when you’re only torso deep, and the water is still. you wade in a tiny bit further, enjoying the cool water against your skin.

your foot slips on a rock much too smooth for you to grip, and you feel yourself slip under the water by accident. you miscalculated just how deep this thing is.

you don’t have enough time to gasp a final gulp of air before you feel the water in your mouth, in your lungs, your limbs flailing to try and get a grasp of something nearby to pull yourself out.

you feel the strong hands, much too familiar, wrap around your waist and heave upwards to get your head above the water. you gasp a breath and feel yourself flailing, but her grip is so strong on you, so firm, you go limp as she kicks backwards to get you back to shallower water.

the two of you collapse on top of each other at the shore of the pond, and she lets go of you immediately.

“you okay?” she asks, those too-familiar brown eyes scanning over you, brows knit together. her clothes are completely drenched through, the fabric clinging to her.

you shove her away, trying to build distance between the two of you, as you reach for your flannel to cover yourself up. “fucking hate you.”

“quit saying that,” she grimaces, her nose wrinkling as she turns to look away from you, as if she’s pained by your statement.

“leave me the fuck alone, megan,” you nearly scream, exasperated.

“you were drowning,” she says back, as if in disbelief.

“i don’t want you near me, what part of that do you not understand?”

“i’m not looking for you,” she snaps. “but i keep finding you.”

“somehow,” you snap back frustratedly.

“somehow,” she echoes, but her voice is softer, and you see her face change.

you feel your heart thud. you can’t handle whatever is about to come out of her.

“don’t–” you try, but the stupid cowboy is always too fast.

“i tried calling you,” she blurts, “every day, all of fall season after you left.”

“that’s all i meant to you, the fall time? three months?” you shove her further away. “sounds about right.”

she grabs your wrist, again. you freeze, her gaze locking into yours as her voice drops.

“y/n, for a split second, you meant the rest of my fuckin’ life,” she tells you firmly, her voice unwavering. “after the fall time, i called you every friday morning for a year.”

your heart nearly stops in your chest. your fridays in town together.

it clicks, faintly. the mystery phone number that always called during your friday 8am class, you always let go to voicemail, and it never left a message. you thought it was a spam number and blocked it after three weeks.

“please don’t get back in there,” she starts, motioning to the pond. “if you got hurt…”

she trails off, biting down. you can see the tears welling in her eyes.

you feel yourself eager to bite back, eager to wound her and make her feel half of what you feel.

if i got hurt? do you know what you’ve done to me?

you’re not cruel enough to drive the point home. you know she knows the damage she’s done. she gets up off the ground and wrings her shirt out before she walks in the opposite direction, leaving you alone without another word.

you burst through the door of the ranch house and lock eyes with your aunt, who is at the table peeling onions for tonight’s dinner.

“did megan actually try to call me the whole fall season?” you rush, the words bursting out of you faster than you could think them through.

“why are you wet?” your aunt asks in shock. “y/n, look at the state of you!”

“please,” you press, and you see her face twist. she lets out a sigh and shakes her head.

“after you left, i could tell something was off. she’d take bruce and make the drive out to town every damn morning before anyone woke up just to try and use the pay phone.” she stands up and wipes her hands on her apron. “blew half her pay a week just on gas alone. she said she didn’t trust the cell service up here on the ranch.”

“every morning?” you question, but your aunt has never been one to exaggerate.

“then it was just the fridays, like when you two’d go to town and run your errands. when that stopped working for whatever reason, she got it in her head to start writing on the porch and she’d stay for hours writing these letters. she’d go up to the mailbox every morning, then just turn around without putting it in. i think she thought i didn’t see her, but god gave women a sixth sense for these kinds of things.” she shoots you a pointed look. “sneaking about things.”

“oh,” you say simply, the back of your neck burning.

“she lost something when you left,” her tone softens, reaching out a hand gently onto your arm. “kid wasn’t the same after that. never seen her angry before, but i assume that’s what it was– anger. tried to hide it but you don’t just smoke a pack a day and work yourself to the bone without it going noticed, y’know?”

“sorry,” you say simply, blinking as you try to make sense of it all.

“sweetie, your uncle is simple, and old pete doesn’t know anything.” she shakes her head again, as if she’s letting you in on a secret. “and i’m not the type to tell anyone how to live, much less an independent, smart girl like you. i’ll let you make your own decisions.”

she walks away, and you assume that’s the end of it, but she emerges from the pantry with a small box, heaving it with both hands. she drops it on the table in front of you, and you see it’s taped shut.

“but do i believe these are for you.”

you hesitate, but take the box upstairs into your room. you change into some dry clothes and peel back the tape to open the box.

in it, filled to the brim, are little envelopes, no dates, no addresses, no anything. you fish down to grab one from the bottom and slip a finger under the seal to take the letter out. you sit on your bed, taking in the handwriting.

i think of you every time i go to the rodeo. did you know that’s when i asked for a sign from god? that night was the first time i didn’t beat my own record. every other time, i lasted longer and longer, and the one and only time you came with me, i fell short. i think it was my mom telling me that there’s something else out there that feels better than just winning stupid shit.

you blink, setting the paper down. you read a second, then another, and another. you don’t realize you read through the night until your eyes droop and you fall asleep, pile of papers surrounding you.

(somehow, her voice rings even louder in your mind.)

saturday evening. you slept in til the mid-day to catch up on how late you were up. you’ve spent too long that day reading all her letters, leaving a few of them to save for later that night, your eyes strained from focusing all day. she talks about her mom, about loss, about mourning, about her regrets and her fears.

and she talks about you. every letter, a new memory you didn’t know she had treasured, catalogued away in that supposedly empty brain of hers— a new way to look at each memory the two of you had made that summer.

your fingers slip one in your back pocket, one of your favorites, one that had validated the experience the two of you had shared.

we had dinner on the porch today, because the cicadas were singing so beautifully. it made me think about you and the time you sat and kept me company in the rocking chair while we peeled potatoes for dinner. that was the first day i pictured us getting old and grey. i realized i didn’t need the ranch, i just needed you.

you shake your head and try to empty it of thoughts of her. whoever this version of megan was, it was gone, and the one you have now is what you have to accept.

your stomach twists at the thought. you need to focus on anything but the ache in your chest of reliving all these moments, knowing how she felt on the other end of it.

“can i take auntie’s car into the town?” you call out to the house.

“be safe on the road. you don’t usually drive it alone, it can get tiring,” your uncle calls back to you. “her keys are on the mantle.”

you find the keys, and take your aunt’s vw bug out of the garage and onto the dirt road, starting the hour-long drive out to the town. familiar, but never one you’ve done alone, you figure it’s the easiest thing you can do to get out of your own head.

you end up at the bar, the only other thing open past 9pm in this god forsaken small town. you’re used to a bustling night life in your city, but forget that things are much much slower up in the mountain. the parking lot is full of familiar-looking trucks and old cars, clearly a town celebrating the freedom of the weekend.

you enter and take in the old country bar: neon signs, mounted animal heads, and hundreds of framed photos of people and places around the town. couples dance to the music, others play pool at the tables nearby, and some are getting rowdy near the mechanical bull ride.

you let out a quiet breath and sit yourself at the bar. you feel the crinkle in your back pocket. a letter you forgot to take out before you had left the house.

before the bartender can even get to you, a mustached man posts up in the seat next to you, resting his elbow much too far into your bubble.

“the niece from the city,” he says simply, and you realize you might not be a stranger to these people after all. “let me buy you something.”

“no thank you,” you nod politely. whatever his intentions are, your focus was to spend the night alone in a new place, and considering you weren’t even old enough to enter the bar last you were here, this is your best bet at making a memory in this town for yourself, without megan’s hands on it.

(and how predictably rude of this man to ruin it…)

“i insist,” he pushes, flagging for the bartender to come over.

“i promise i’m okay,” you press back, rolling your eyes. nothing good can ever exist outside of a man ruining it.

but then he’s taking a strand of your hair in his dirty hand, and you feel yourself tense.

“pretty hair, on a pretty girl,” he tells you, playing with the lock within his fingers, leaning in much too close for your comfort. “how’re you likin’ the countryside so far?”

you feel yourself try to move away but you freeze at how imposing he is in your space. you’re sure any other interested girl would swoon being in your position, a confident man making it clear he’s interested, but this is quite possibly the opposite of what you’d want in this moment right now.

your mouth opens to protest, but there’s no sound. his hand is suddenly yanking backwards, and you see his body swing back out of the chair. you realize he’s been shoved away from you.

you smell it before you see her. pine and campfire.

and in an instant, she lands a punch to his face, square in the jaw.

“sorry sorry, my hand slipped,” she apologizes to him lazily, shaking out her wrist from what you can assume will be an impact bound to bruise. she takes a quick look at him, and you’re shocked when she spits on the ground next to his head, her eyes narrowing. “i’d stay down there if i were you, my hand might slip again.”

“out,” the bartender growls, whistling towards the two of you and pointing to the door. “now. come back when you’re sobered up, kid.”

“what the fuck?” you scowl at her, before a random pair of hands are shoving the two of you out the door and into the parking lot, the chill of the night air nipping at your nose.

megan doesn’t seem the least bit unphased, her eyes wide but focused on you.

“did you get a lot of people flirting with you back home?” she blurts, almost breathlessly. you can see her hand already start to swell, but she’s paying it no attention.

“why do you care?” you jab back.

“i can’t–” her face twists, her eyes scrunching shut. “i can’t stand the idea.”

you can’t give any thought to her rambles right now. “how the fuck do you keep finding me?”

“i am kinda–” she pauses, wrinkling her nose, “a little drunk. no liquor store so the bar is the only option when the gas station closes. came here and wanted to forget about you.”

you stare her down, contemplating what comes next. the choice is easy.

you sprint right over to your car and lock yourself in, megan irritatedly following behind you and knocking on the glass that now separates you.

“open,” she grunts, testing the door handle.

“go away.” you scowl at her through the glass. “i’ll scream, and someone will come and beat your ass.”

“don’t drive an hour home when you just drank like that,” she pleads, her voice softening slightly. she slumps against the car, leaning her face near the window to be able to look you in the eyes. “i’m gonna stay as long as i need to fix this. i’ll stay all night if i have to.”

her eyes are so warm and inviting, even through the barrier of the glass. you have half a mind to kick the car in reverse and let her go tumbling over the hood.

“i don’t want to be around you, what part of that is not getting through your skull?”

“i hurt you and i ran away instead of running towards you,” she says suddenly, pressing her forehead against the window. you’re shocked by how tender her voice sounds, a world of difference from her apology on the ranch. “i was scared to love something that deep and have it ripped away from me, and i ran away from it instead so it’d hurt less.”

“but it didn’t hurt less,” she continues, her eyes avoiding yours. you see her lip tremble, but she hardens her jaw to steady it. “it left something.”

“i was angry with you. i was angry for the first time in my adult life,” she admits. “i had gone numb after my mom, and then you show up, and it’s like everything was back to full volume after being silent for so long. being up here, it gave me a routine to fall into. it made me stop thinking, and then you showed up, and all i wanted to do was think about you, and the future, and the beauty in everything. you put something back in my head, and when you left, it made me angry.”

“i didn’t leave you on purpose,” you finally manage, silent throughout all of this.

“you could have stayed. we could have kept everything the same, and you had to go off and leave me,” she pushes back, but her voice is small, barely audible now across the glass.

“the same?” you question.

“we could have lived on the ranch and lived so easy, y/n.”

“i tried to bring you with me–”

“and i wasn’t ready. and that will haunt me forever.” her lips press into a fine line, and your heart thuds as she lets out a quiet breath. “i’m sorry i wasn’t ready to love you how you deserved.”

the apology. a real apology.

with that, you feel it rise from the gravel, the summer you had burned and buried, the feelings you had worked so diligently to try and rid yourself of before they destroyed you. you can close the chapter where you hate her, and move away from it all.

“i guess we were just kids,” you breathe after a moment.

“i’m sorry,” she reiterates. you roll the window down, and she leans on the frame, her head poking into the car. “i am really truly sorry.”

“no.” you don’t want her to grovel and ruin the moment, waving her off. “you gave me closure. done being angry.”

“you are?” her eyes light up.

“i leave wednesday night, and it’ll be easier not having to seethe with rage every time i see you,” you offer as a truce.

“i’m more than good with that,” she nods, and you feel the next chapter writing itself.

“i’m hungry,” you say simply, and she arches a curious brow at you.

“the diner is 24/7,” she offers.

“dinner, at the diner?” you ask, pointing up the street.

“i need to sober up before i try driving back to the ranch, and so do you,” megan says. “it’s a five minute walk. we can get the cars after?”

you nod and the two of you walk together to the diner, keeping a cautious distance in between yourselves. you ignore the crumple of paper in your back pocket, the letter begging to be read.

she orders a black coffee and watches you the whole time you eat your pancake platter.

you watch her back. your heart echoes something each time your eyes meet silently, but you do your best to quiet it as you make small talk about the town.

home.

sunday finally comes. the service is beautiful, and they bury your grandpa next to your grandma.

“they get to be together even after all they’ve been through,” your aunt says, something like admiration in her voice.

you look at megan, and she’s fixed her eyes on the hole in the ground, biting down on her bottom lip to stay anchored. you can already tell what she’s thinking of and what this brings up for her.

before you can stop yourself, you reach for her hand. she takes it and squeezes it, and doesn’t let go.

that night, after the service, your uncle insists on taking the whole family out to the bar, saying it’s what his father would have wanted. your grandpa was a big character, and it’s not out of the picture to think he had asked for something like this to lighten everyone's spirits.

(you don’t mention having been kicked out last night. luckily, nobody asks.)

“you know, when god shuts a window, he opens a door,” your great aunt says, motioning to the couples all paired up for the dances.

“slim pickings,” your cousin wrinkles his nose, motioning to the local singles at the bar.

“oh your generation— i was married at your age. stop being such a pill. just find someone good looking and go from there,” she huffs.

“bet you $20 that you won’t go walk up to the best lookin’ person in this room right now and give ‘em a dance,” he teases you. his side of the family have always been bolder and brasher than you have, but with a newfound sense of confidence, you don’t feel quite ready to step down.

you bite back. “bigger stakes. i want grandpa’s truck.”

“no chance!” he gawks, but the mischievous grin tells you he likes your mettle. “i know for a fact he signed it to me in the will. you’ll see wednesday.”

“no money. i get a dance, and i get them to last longer than 30 seconds on the bull,” you push, upping the stakes.

“ha! i’d like to see what idiot can last past 10.” he laughs and shakes you on it. “truck’s yours if you can do it.”

“the both of you are so crass,” your great-aunt scolds. “we laid him to rest not hours ago and you’re already pawning off his belongings!”

“i want that truck,” you emphasize, before throwing back one more shot to try and muster the courage to do this.

you scan the room of the people who aren’t family, and your cousin is right. not many options left to try, much less people who seem strong enough to be able to win you that mechanical bull bet.

your eyes land on the tall figure, leaning up against the wall, in that same stupid hat and those stupid boots. you hear the echo in your ear again, but push it away as you approach her.

“hi,” you breathe, wrapping your arms around her neck much too easily. her eyebrows arch nearly off her forehead in surprise, but her hands take to your back with far too much ease.

“hi.” megan says back simply, her nervous eyes looking over your shoulder and then back down at your now-swaying bodies. “is there a reason why your great-aunt looks like she wants to kill me?”

“no,” you grin, and megan can instantly tell you’re up to no good.

“sure it has nothing to do with two girls slow dancing?” she questions, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. she’s so steady on her feet, swaying the two of you along to the song playing over the speakers.

“might,” you continue with the short answers, trying not to give yourself away.

“i figured.” she shakes her head and lets out a snort, but before either of you can question it, her hands are dipping down from your back to the dip of your waist. you want to correct her grip, but you can’t find the words to tell her to move her hand. it feels much, much too comfortable there, like the grooves were made for her strong hands to hold onto.

“if she’s mad about this, she’s gonna hate watching you beat all my boy cousins at riding that mechanical bull,” you laugh.

“what? i’m not getting on that thing.” she wrinkles her nose, motioning over to the bucking machine. “no self respecting bull rider would.”

“i can’t convince you?” you bat your lashes up at her, though the thoughts of the bet are starting to fade from your memory as you look into those perfect brown eyes.

“convince me?” she echoes, laughing. “you want to convince me?”

“maybe i just wanted to see if i’ve still got it.” you’re not sure where this sudden rush of boldness comes from, but you chalk it up to the drinks and the lively vibe of the bar party.

“oh, like you don’t have suckers for you back home?” megan teases, though her voice waves and drops the slightest bit. “i’m sure you’ve got a line waiting out the door for you.”

“i might,” you goad on, curious about her shift in tone.

“please tell me you’re not interested,” she insists, eyebrows knitting together, and part of you buzzes at the way her voice shifts in the slightest.

“not many cowboys in the city to pick from.”

“is that your type?” she inquires, and you feel her grip on you tighten slightly.

“maybe it was, at one point,” you hum, trying to stop yourself from playing with the baby hairs at the base of her neck. “but only the cowboys who’d do anything for me.”

“hm,” is all she says, her eyes searching for something in you. you’re about to say something more, but the song ends and megan lets go of you, excusing herself with a nod of her head. you wonder if you’ve pushed her too far.

you head back to the bar to grab another drink. you’re barely getting the cup from the bartender when you hear an obnoxious rise of cheers from the other end of the room. you look up at what’s causing the ruckus, and feel yourself smile against your will.

stupid megan, riding that damn mechanical bull, her knuckles white as they grip onto the handle and her face tensed with focus. the timer on the wall with big red numbers keeps ticking up, up, up, until she’s set the new bar record without so much as a slip.

“fuck!” you hear your cousin scream from across the bar, throwing his drink angrily into the wall.

you offer a slow clap of congratulations as megan fans herself off with her hat and comes marching up to you.

“hope that’s proof you’ve still got it.” she points a playfully menacing finger in your face. “please don’t go testing any other cowboys. this one will do just fine.”

you feel something pluck at you from deep in your chest. those eyes that know you. those hands that make you feel safe. that voice that unnerves you and comforts you all at once.

the feeling from the diner comes back. home.

“drive me back to the ranch, cowboy?” you ask suddenly, reaching out to her. “i want to get out of here.”

her eyes widen, clearly caught off guard. you can see the debate in her eyes, the pause between the two of you, the quiet, hesitant swallow she takes before opening her mouth again.

“of course,” she nods, grabbing her jacket off the barstool and handing it to you, out of habit. you see her freeze and start to pull her hand back, her uncertain eyes meeting yours.

you grab the jacket from her and step ahead of her into the parking lot, slipping the worn denim over your shoulders. you take a deep inhale. pine and campfires. home.

the drive back up is mostly spent with you listening to her hum along to the radio, your first time listening to country music in god knows how long. her voice is soft as it’s always been, melodic and peaceful, and you’re focusing on the moonlit grass as the truck finally makes it to the trail leading up to the property.

“i— um, thank you, for today,” she breaks the silence, avoiding your gaze to focus on the road. “i’m sorry it wasn’t the other way around.”

“don’t be. i knew my grandpa was at the end of it,” you reassure her. “i’m sure it wasn’t easy for you thinking about your mom.”

“it was easier with you,” she says softly. “thank you again.”

there’s a heavy pause between the two of you. you don’t know what possesses you to speak up, but you do.

“i read your letters,” you blurt. “i think all of them.”

“oh,” she blinks, eyes widening.

“thank you for writing them like you said you would.”

“of course.” she lets out a quiet breath as the truck takes a familiar turn up the road. “thanks for reading them, i guess. never thought they’d see you.”

“is this the cabin where you’re staying?” you wave for her to stop the truck, wanting to get a better look at the tiny log cabin off by the pasture. “my uncle said you fixed the stove in there, got it to heat up.”

“you know me,” megan shrugs dismissively. “still no good at much else but fixing and wrangling.”

you swing the truck door open and step out, wanting to get a closer look at it. it’s tiny, likely only one room, but it suits her somehow. you can picture her so, so cozy here.

“you could come in, and see how the stove works,” megan offers slowly, her eyes hesitantly following yours.

you know it could be a clean end, to ask her to drop you off at the lodge and go from there, but something is calling you to her, and you can’t seem to quiet that voice this time. you nod, and she fidgets with her keys for a moment to get the door open, grabbing a log from the pile in front of the door.

you enter behind her, and she’s tending to the woodfire stove that warms the whole cabin. it’s tiny, exactly how you’d imagined, but the roar of the fire and the coziness of the space makes you admire how megan had managed to make this old abandoned cabin seem like a home.

(or maybe, that’s just megan’s touch.)

“what are you thinking about?” you ask, noting how she keeps her gaze fixed on the stove, her hands in her pocket as you two stand on opposite sides of the fire to warm yourselves.

“just felt nice to dance with you again,” she breathes quietly, as if it’s a confession.

“reminded me of that night in the field,” you admit, without thinking. you notice her brow twitch, and you take a careful step closer to her, tilting your head to try and meet her gaze. your voice quiets. “did it remind you?”

“it did,” she confesses.

the way her voice shifts is stirring something in you. you reach out, gently wrapping your index finger around her pinky, as if to test her.

“i think you should leave,” she breathes quietly, looking down at your now-laced fingers.

“why?” you ask gently, carefully.

“i can’t tell you why,” she answers quickly, something worried in those big brown eyes.

“i want you to tell me why,” you press, and you can feel it in your chest, bursting against your ribs, begging to be spoken out loud.

megan gives you a look, a look of hesitation, and you try to meet her eyes with your own pleading gaze.

“i want to ask you to stay,” she says slowly, “and then it’s going to crush me when you go.”

“so then i just don’t leave,” you whisper back, taking another step closer towards her.

“i can’t keep you here forever.” her brows are furrowed, and you can tell she’s debating something within herself.

“be brave enough to ask,” you press again.

“please stay the night,” she pleads, reaching for your entire hand, eyes sincere and voice shaky. “and then stay forever.”

you feel the thud in your chest multiply into a thunderstorm.

“do you remember my birthday?” you ask, holding tighter onto her hand.

“of course.”

“i wished for you,” you admit. “that i’d get to stay with you.”

“oh,” she says simply, her eyes softening.

“and then you promised me you’d take care of me for the rest of my life, and i felt like i was dreaming.”

megan bites her lip. “i broke any chance of that, didn’t i?”

“i want you to ask me again,” you press one last time, and megan doesn’t leave you waiting.

“i’d like a chance to fix it.” her eyes, wide, pleading, warm, dig into yours. she takes your hand and presses it against her cheek, scanning over every inch of your face. “all of it.”

“i need to hear you—” you start, but she cuts you off quickly. this stupid cowboy, who knows you like the back of her hand.

“i love you, y/n,” she beats you to it, your hand still caressing her face, but she pulls at your belt loop to bring you close, her strong arms pulling you in to press you into her. she presses her forehead into yours, her eyes scrunching shut as if the confession pains her. “i love you like you wouldn’t believe. loved you then, love you now, think i’m gonna be stuck loving you until i’m old and grey.”

you don’t need anything else, and a part of you thinks megan knows that. you pull at her jaw to kiss her, a kiss to make up for each one she’s owed, and the echo silences itself as she kisses you back forcefully, eagerly, her strong arms wrapping around you to lock you in place against her.

back in megan’s arms, you are home.

“i missed you,” she breathes into your neck, sliding your shirt over your head much too easily, the kisses she plants along your collarbone sending shivers through your entire body. “a lot.”

“mmhmm, less talking,” you hum playfully, one hand grasping the back of her neck to keep her close as the other trails off under her shirt and up the hard planes of her stomach.

“i’m serious,” she pushes, nearly a growl. you haven’t heard her voice like this, low and gravelly in your ear, and it sends a twinge through every nerve in your system.

“i know you missed me. you punched some stranger in a bar just ‘cause he tried buying me a drink,” you tease. you pull her hand away from your belt and point to her swollen, bruised knuckles as if to prove your point.

“i punched him ‘cause he touched you,” she blurts, stopping her movements to hover over you in the bed and meet your eyes. her dark eyes are taken over by something that makes your heart race. “i saw red. i couldn’t even look at another person after you left.”

“the whole time?” you ask breathlessly, wanting to squirm beneath her but she has you trapped beneath her strong arms as she simply stares, looking you over. “were you waiting for me to come back or something?”

“i felt sick thinking about anyone else,” she grimaces. “and i felt sick thinking about you with anyone else.”

“i didn’t think i was ever going to see you again,” you confess, and you feel her pause, connecting the dots.

“did you think of me?” she finally asks, eyes searching for something in you.

“all i could do was wish they were you,” you admit.

there’s a heavy pause, megan still hovering above you, but you see something flip in her, those dark eyes unrecognizable. she sits up, pulling her own shirt over her head in a swift motion before she runs a finger along your bottom lip, her calloused thumb tracing your teeth. you’re eager to beg for her to do something, anything at this point, but the moment you try to sit up to kiss her back, she pushes you back down by the sternum, her hand staying pressed against the base of your neck. her forcefulness makes your brain go numb.

“each of them, all i could do was wish they were you each time, megan,” you repeat desperately, seeing the effect it had on her the first time. your wish is granted, and she leans back down to nip a quick, forceful kiss into your neck.

“that’s my girl,” she murmurs into your ear, before stepping back next to the bed to stand and let you watch her undo her belt buckle. you feel your mouth go dry at the sight, your pulse racing at the clank of the metal and the impending zip of her jeans.

“yes i am,” you grin, before she reaches back for you, strong hands pulling at what’s left of your clothes to reclaim what belongs to her.

the next morning, you’re back in time 3 years and reliving the summer romance with the wrangler. you know your timeline is shorter now, but that doesn’t make it any less thrilling to be back in megan’s arms.

she’s carrying you on her back as you two wade through the pond, your arms wrapped around her neck as you bury your face into the crook between her neck and shoulder. your whole near-drowning thing had traumatized her, and she refused to let you near the water without her present. you don’t mind– you’re enjoying the feeling of her strong back, admiring her pretty face and slicking her hair back from the water our of her eyes.

“why did you quit the ranch, when you said you’d stay?” you ask curiously. there’s two days left with her, and you want to use it making up for lost time, unpacking everything left unanswered.

“found something that i loved more than i loved the ranch.” she says, as if it’s that simple. she splashes at a dragonfly along the surface of the water. “it hurt too much to keep thinking of you everywhere i looked.”

“you missed me,” you repeat from the night before.

“if only you knew half of it,” she hums.

“what did you do to that tree out there?” you point to it, the cut up one by the water. “it looks like a wolverine mauled it.”

she hesitates for a split second, before a sheepish smile takes to her features.

“i told myself i couldn’t keep driving myself crazy, so i’d make a notch in the tree for every day i still felt like i missed you. i promised myself that once i stopped putting tallies in there, i’d be officially over you.”

you wait for the resolution, but it never comes.

“i killed the tree. too many notches,” she says flatly. “the days i’d missed you didn’t end.”

“that’s a lie,” you laugh, splashing water onto her face.

she shakes her head and turns to look at you from over her shoulder, her gaze serious.

“y/n, i never got over you. you took a part of me with you,” she breathes.

“i’d like to take all of you with me, this time around,” you tell her quietly.

“as you wish,” she smiles, and you reach for her jaw to melt into a kiss over the song of the cicadas and the frogs.

tuesday comes, and you’ve spent every moment with megan, to the point that it’s your first time coming back to the lodge in almost 24 hours to pick up fresh clothes.

“you plannin’ on staying the rest of your trip up there at the cabin with the kid?” your aunt asks, arching an eyebrow at you as you run into each other by the stairs.

“maybe,” you eye her hesitantly, but she waves you off quickly.

“don’t play coy, i’m not bein’ nosy,” she rolls her eyes, pushing you by the shoulder as a reprimand. “i need to know if i can give your room to your other cousin when she finally gets up here tonight.”

you smile faintly. “that should be fine.”

moments later, megan shows up on one horse for your two person trail ride, and you realize all notions of keeping this to yourselves are good as gone. your aunt gives you a look after she spots the ginger out the window.

“i’ll have the boys take your stuff over to the cabin while you’re gone.”

“thank you,” you nod.

megan spots you through the window, and breaks out into a giant smile as she tips her hat down at you. you look up to see your aunt witnessing the entire thing.

“i’m glad you came back, y/n.” she says simply. “i think we all are.”

“i am too,” you finally admit. she waves you off, and you slip out the door to go run into your cowboy’s arms.

the night before the will-reading, you get an email that your flight is delayed til thursday, and it gives you an extra few hours with megan. you change your train ride to thursday morning, and the two of you spend the extra time locked away in the cabin.

“i owe you a real apology,” she mumbles, pressing her lips into your shoulder blade from behind as she spoons you. her voice is soft against the combination of evening crickets and curious owls. “i’m sorry about everything.”

“you already apologized,” you shake your head, watching the flames from the oven cast shadows against the wall, outlining her face into the wood. “i forgive you. i owe you an apology too.”

“you have nothing to be sorry about,” she says back quickly, her fingertips dragging along the skin of your thigh and up to your hip.

“i tried to push you to heal sooner than you were ready for. i thought i could fix you.” you had done your own reflection, and granted, it doesn’t excuse how things ended, but you know there’s no moving beyond this without accountability. “i wouldn’t know what it’s like to miss someone like that. i judged you for something unimaginable. i’m sorry.”

she kisses the dip between your jaw and your ear, her nose pressing into your neck.

“it used to be easy to just run away, but i think i’m healing confronting it head on,” she says quietly.

“proud of you,” you murmur back, reaching to pull her hand to your lips and kiss along her almost-healed knuckles.

“i wish you could have met her,” she says suddenly, her lips still against your neck, and your heart aches for her.

“i’m sure she was perfect,” you say simply, and megan nods in approval.

“she would say the same about you.”

wednesday. the will reading, which they decide to do on the porch of the ranch, as your grandpa would have wanted.

your cousin is less than thrilled when the attorney reads off the list of allocations and indicates that grandpa’s truck is indeed in his name. he gives you the keys as soon as they’re handed to him, and megan’s eyes widen in surprise.

“the old ford?” she questions, her voice quiet to not disrupt the rest of the proceeding. “it’s your uncle’s favorite.”

“uh, it was your favorite if i remember correctly,” you laugh. “you spent so much time fixing that stupid thing up.”

“i fucking loved that thing,” she beams, and you realize maybe that was your motivation this whole time. “you’re so cool.”

your cousin’s whining voice bursts you and megan out of your bubble.

“y/n’s not even listening, and she’s got the ranch in her fucking name!” your cousin bemoans.

you feel your heart fall into your stomach. “excuse me?”

“i told him i’ll take care of it until i’m tired, but i won’t turn into old pete and waste my life wrangling cattle til i’m grey.” your uncle dusts his hands on his jeans, getting up from the rocking chair where he was seated. “we don’t have kids. i saw this coming. he said you were the only person who saw it for what he saw it for.”

“but med school is–” you start, but he waves you off.

“i’ve got a few more good years left in me. do what you gotta do, then sell it when the time is right.”

“that’s all in your name,” the lawyer nods at you as a dismissal, and you immediately turn to meet megan’s wide eyes.

“holy shit,” she says simply in disbelief, and you hear your great-aunt grunt in disapproval.

“you could give it to the kid,” your aunt suggests, motioning to megan. “we all know she’d take care of it like nobody’s business.”

you look at megan, who stares back at you, dumbfounded.

“what would you want to do with it?” you ask.

“baby, it’s the fucking ranch,” she gapes. you take her hand and pull her a few steps away to hide out inside, away from the ears of your family.

“do you want to stay and watch it with my uncle, while i’m gone?” you ask her gently, holding both hands in yours, offering her the solution you feel she’s been waiting for. “you could go back to your old life.”

for some reason, the offer feels like you’re letting her go. but you know how much this property meant to megan, and something about her coming back to claim it as its steward feels so, so right.

but instead, she looks at you with determined eyes. she shakes her head.

“i’m not making the same mistake twice,” she nods, assuring you. she gives your hands a squeeze. “i choose you, and everything else will turn out alright.”

“i don’t know if you’d be happy in the city,” you sigh, brushing your fingertips across her sun-kissed cheeks.

“not running from anything any more.” she grabs your hand off her face and presses a kiss into your open palm. “i’m happiest where i’m with you.”

“okay,” you breathe. “so we let my uncle keep going til he retires. does that mean you’ll come with me now?”

“i’d need to get brucey,” she says hesitantly. “and he doesn’t fly very well.”

“i’ll go with you to get him.”

“you will?”

“let me fly home, then i’ll come to wherever you are. we’ll road trip, move you out, grab bruce. when is your lease up?”

“i’m monthly, work for lodging and pay.”

“okay. so we get bruce, you move in with me in the city. i start med school, you…”

you pause, seeing the look in her eyes. the planning, the talking about the future so concretely, it scares her, you know it does. the last time her face changed like this was your last day, that summer. you feel yourself want to vomit.

but megan knows you, and she can sense your apprehension. she reaches for your hand, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

“i can work on cars,” she offers gently, a smile on her lips. “until you’re done with school.”

“that’s an option.” you nod, beaming at her optimism. they feel like shaky steps towards you, not away. your eyes water at the thought of a happy future with her, one you had imagined was ripped away from you.

“or work with animals.” she grins back.

“or go to trade school,” you build on her idea.

“the future, it’s scary,” she breathes. “but it’s gonna come whether i’m ready or not. might as well get ahead of it.”

“and then i finish school, do a fellowship, and once i’m finished, we come back.”

“really?” her eyes light up brighter than anything you’ve ever seen. “you don’t want to sell it?”

“i don’t need a busy life. just a rewarding one,” you tell her, smiling. “small towns need doctors too.”

“i don’t want you to give up your dreams,” she says worriedly, tilting her head in concern.

“you taught me how to slow down. please don’t expect me to be helping wrangling baby cows every morning, but i wouldn’t mind you still being a cowboy. it’s what you live for.” you reach up to tilt her chin back up, reassuring her as you fix her hat. “it’s not giving up. it's a beautiful compromise.”

she grins back at you, and takes the hat off her head to fix it on your own head.

“i like compromise with you.”

your final night before your 6am train ride to the airport, she takes you camping in the fields.

she explains the concept of a harvest moon— a full moon so big and so bright, early farmers could work all night collecting their harvest by moonlight alone.

the fire she’d built starts to dim down, and you feel the exact same way. you could watch her in the moonlight for the whole night.

“that’s sagittarius.” she points up an arrangement of stars, her feet crossed and her head propped up on a backpack she’s using as a pillow. you’re laying so comfortably cuddled into her, your head resting on her chest, lulled into a cozy haze by the song of the mountain and her perfect voice in your ear.

“no way,” you drawl, forever impressed by her knowledge.

“and that’s asparagus.”

you blink quickly in confusion. “what?”

“and that’s me getting a headshot in fortnite.”

“you’re stupid.” you push into her shoulder, laughing. “i knew you were full of shit.”

she smiles back and presses a sweet kiss into the top of your head, letting her lips linger against your hair.

“i’ll see you in a week?” you ask, and the question doesn’t feel as heavy as you had thought it would.

“yes you will.” she kisses your head again, humming into your hair. “that’s a promise.”

“thank you.”

“i had you once, and that meant everything to me,” she tells you, breathing you in once more. “i think i spent my whole life waiting for you.”

“i’m here now,” you remind her, cuddling in closer.

“never letting you go again,” she reassures you.

(you believe her.)

“hey baby, the neighbor is asking again when you’re going to sell him the truck,” you call out, pushing past the door into the apartment.

you’re kicking your shoes off in the hallway, giving a quick rub to bruce’s head as he greets you. you hear the rumbling from the kitchen, and you pop in to see the jeans and a vintage tshirt, with her head and torso under the sink, doing something to the garbage disposal.

“he can kiss my ass. that thing is staying in the parking spot that i pay for until the end of our lease,” she threatens back, sliding out from under the sink and washing her hands before hitting a switch. in an instant, the same garbage disposal that was broken this morning is magically back and working. “i’m not driving anything smaller.”

you laugh, reaching out for her. “you and your stupid ego.”

“hey, everywhere i’ve ever lived, lifted trucks are like, the shit,” megan grins, wrapping her arms around your waist to pull you in for a greeting kiss. “it’s the biggest thing we work on at the shop.”

“oh, i bet you’re the number one lifted truck modder in the city,” you nod playfully.

“i’m alright.” she shrugs, wrinkling her nose, but she’s fixed on the topic of her damn truck. “thinking about how sad you’d look getting dropped off by some rizzless loser in a cowboy hat and boots, in a fucking minivan or something. just wouldn’t sit well with me.”

“yeah, all my classmates think the coolest think about me is you,” you gripe. megan’s insistence on taking you to class every day, in the truck, wearing what she always does, has made you quite the talking point among your first year med school classmates.

“so crazy, ‘cause i think you’re the coolest thing about me,” she grins, looking down at you with a glint in her eyes. “y’know what else i’m thinking about? summer time.”

“that’s still 2 months away,” you laugh at her eagerness. your last summer break before medical school fully takes over your life, planned to be spent on the ranch with megan, rotting away without a care in the world.

“we could get married up there,” she suggests out of nowhere, but her voice is so so sweet, it makes your heart melt.

“what is this, farmer needs a wife?” you tease, arching a brow at her. “i thought it was supposed to be a vacation.”

“okay, okay,” she holds her hands, clearly playfully displeased with your response.

“hold your horses, there,” you goad on, and she narrows her gaze at you.

“oh, now you’re just being a pain.”

you grin. “if the boot fits.”

“enough with the puns,” she groans, rolling her eyes, grabbing you by the waist to swing you easily over her shoulder and whisk you into the bedroom, your scream laughs filling every corner of your apartment.

your summer vacation comes, and the chilly montana nights welcome you both back with open arms.

she slips her jacket over your shoulders, and the motion feels as natural as breathing. you see the front pocket is still full of the flowers she picked for you along the trail, meant to press into your book along with a few of the letters she had written you. you keep your favorite letter one in your back pocket, eager to read it to her in between chapters of your book.

you’re walking behind her, following her steps as she confidently leads you two through the field. she’s singing something mindlessly to herself, her voice filling the air comfortingly.

you tuck your hand into the pocket, trying to warm your fingers, and feel yourself freeze. your fingertips trace along the edge of the object, the edges too wide to be her swiss army knife, the top being the wrong texture to be a pack of cigarettes she might be hiding–

your pulse quickens as you realize inside the pocket, you feel a little box. small, velvet, that kind of box.

“where are you taking me?” you ask quickly, the realization striking you.

“don’t worry about it,” she waves you off. you can’t see her face, but you can hear the grin in her voice, and you can’t tell if you finding the box is part of her plan or an innocent mix up. with megan, it could quite frankly go either way, and you can’t tell which one makes your heart swell more. “ain’t anyone told you that it’s bad luck to question a cattle wrangler on a full moon?”

“you’re making that up.” you try to keep your voice even, not wanting to ruin her plan as the two of you keep walking, but you feel the back of your throat go dry.

“maybe,” she shrugs playfully.

“stupid cowboy,” you try to bite back, but you feel your voice shaky, and she simply reaches back behind you for your hand. she grabs you, and the two of you keep walking, her paces strong, steady, keeping you alongside her easily. she smiles knowingly, and tips her hat down, her eyes fixed on the skyline.

“i love you too, city girl.”

(the letter rings through your ears, your favorite one out of all of them, etched into your memory at this point so deeply, you know it by heart.

i don’t know if you’ll ever read these, but i fell in love with you that day that you read to me. which one? your smart ass is going to ask. not the one by the creek, or the one by the cows. it was the one on the roof, where you told me to quit smoking. i realized that day i have something really, really beautiful i’m excited to live for. i really, really love you, y/n.

-your cowboy, forever.)

#megan skiendiel x reader #megan x reader #katseye x reader #katseye megan #megan katseye #megan skiendel imagine #☆ﾟ coolwyous works.#☆ﾟ coolwyous golden hour.

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havenesc · 1 month ago

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i wish i had an actual question to ask but. i just keep rotating horse girl rancher jason in my head like......... you got it. how does it feel to be SO right <3 sooo if you wannaaaa, i'd love to read any hc or thoughts you might wanna say!

(the jason rancher au)

hiiiii anon!!! i'm so happy you're enjoying rancher au and i'm always happy to yap :^) i figure i'll talk my shit about horses -- i'll have official designs later when i have More Time but for now!! my thoughts!!

Blue is Jason's borrowed horse, a blue roan foundation-bred QH. He's an honest worker and he rarely complains; he's the ideal ranch horse, though not the fanciest with all the neat little polished buttons. Nobody really Actually Believes Jason when he says he knows how to ride, and Blue is the babysitter that won't get him absolutely murdered on Day 1. Blue doesn't mind -- he's good-natured about mistakes Jason makes, and Jason is very careful when he's aware of them. Blue's biggest vice is personal space and using Jason as his complimentary scratching post, which Jason actively encourages. (Note: generally not advised.)

Barbie is Laura's god awful meaner than Satan, probably-subsists-off-of-Devil's-Claw-Supplement mare. She's a wild mix of Appaloosa/Thoroughbred/Percheron, so she's stout but a little fucked up proportionally. She's a dark bay blanket appaloosa pattern. She hates men. She has mauled cows. She has torn down fences and gone after other horses for their food. She is the buffer in between the guys tagging a calf and an aggressive mama cow. If anybody else had her bill of sale, they would have taken her to the dog food plant already for a more purposeful meaning in life, but Laura is Insane about this horse. That's her pretty princess, you bitch. If anything happens to this mare Laura will kill everyone in the room and then herself.

Toast is a fancy little cutting-bred QH gelding that Goose has as a sale project. He is very young, barely-broke, and thus a coward -- if you don't ride him every day he gets cold-backed and will attempt to murder both himself and whoever climbs up on him. He's genuinely trying to learn how to be a good ranch pony. He's also very succinctly named Toast because he's a little sooty buckskin. Goose is adamant that he's only keeping him for the year to put the miles on him, but he is so damn endeared by this little horse that everyone is calling his bluff.

Scout is Kacey's QH/Thoroughbred cross, or an Appendix! She's a classic brass chestnut with four white socks and a cute little snip, and the sweetest beanie baby in the barn. A goody two-shoes, lowest on the pecking order. She's very tolerant of Kacey's bullshit when it gets boring on cattle drives and she's one of those horses that you can let anybody climb up on her. She's very green, like Toast, and still watchy/spooky, but she's also the kind of horse who will put her head in your lap and stand there for hours. She's everybody's dream horse and the guy who sold her to Kacey is still mad he let her go.

Cisco is old man McLaren's somewhat-green QH gelding. He's a buckskin tobiano with a little bit of an attitude problem, but not in the "I'll kill you and your whole fucking family" way like Barbie -- he just wants to know you mean what you say and you're willing to put the work into the partnership. He can be stubborn and has a pretty high self preservation and he, god love him, does NOT like Jason. He wants nothing to do with that dead-but-not-dead guy. Jason will never ever be able to catch him if he's in the field; the one (1) time he does, you best believe he's colicking.

#jason rancher au #thanks for the opportunity to go hog on this anon i'm sorry if this wasn't what you were after BUT! it's chicken noodle soup for my soul #ask

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hexagon-club · 1 year ago

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I'm going to try and put together a list of youtube channels of detransitioners. I'm going to try to include an archive of all these channels. Because I've seen quite a few channels like this disappear. I should add that this is not necessarily an endorsement of all the content on these channels or the political and religious views of these people. I've cast a pretty wide net here so there's a range of different personalities and beliefs. But I have tried to limit it to channels that actually talk about detransition rather than ones that just so happen to belong to people who have detransitioned. This isn't an exhaustive list, but I'm going to try to fit in as many channels as I can think of right now.

Female detransitioners:

Chloe Cole/ChoooCole:

Probably the most prominent detransitioner I can think of right now, or at least the most prominent one to have their own youtube channel.

KC Miller/Kacey Emerick/dyke_in_denial:

You might remember KC as that woman who Hasan Piker made fun of when she made her first video about detransitioning. More recently she was in the New York Times.

Alia:

Elle Palmer:

Jade Martin/jaderants/atreuz:

I think she uploads her newer videos to twitter/x and tiktok and not youtube. Still, here's her channel anyway. Jade almost died as a result of 3 years on hormones. If her twitter is anything to go by she is still dealing with health problems, even though she has been off HRT for a few years.

#detrans #detransition #trans #transgender

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purplecherries · 11 months ago

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Things that Happen in my Mystreet Rewrite that just make sense…✨

First of all, Laurance did not discover where Aphmau lived and decided they should move in across the street (bc holy shit that’s creepy). They had already lived across the street and told Aphmau, Katelyn, and Nana about the listing. They agreed bc it was closer to wear they all worked.

Nana DOES NOT HAVE A SHIPPING SHRINE.

Aphmau works as an editor at a publishing company, Katelyn is a teaching assistant going back to college, and Nana is a waitress/baker at a popular bistro in the city.

Garroth and Laurance are very much still in love with her but Aphmau really just doesn’t notice.

Aphmau is an aspiring author writing a fantasy novel. She will get anyone and everyone to look over chapters and read them (Nana is a current victim of this)

Speaking of Nana I’d like to start her backstory early. We’d meet some of her siblings and we’ll see her ignoring calls from her parents. The secret is that the Ashida’s are a crazy rich family and Nana wanted to make a name for herself without the Ashida name. So much so that she started going by K.C. instead of the matriarch grandmother’s name she shares with her.

Nana is a chronic overworker, she’s so sweet but she does not know how to take a break.

Katelyn is the pseudo mother to her 3 brothers (Kacey, Kaden, and Kenneth.) She will call them to make sure they are alright as well as her father, who assures her that she can live her life without worrying about them so much.

Since there are a LOT of love potion hijinks in the series, the neighborhood play they put on will be A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

In that arc, the relationships of Garroth, Laurance, and Aphmau will be explored, but also the drama of Nicole, Dante, and Nana.

Zane is more of a businessman with the whole suit and everything. He can talk great business but never make him form actual connections with people bc he has no clue how to do that.

Aphmau and him do still become very good friends and they stay like that for the rest of the series.

Travis is just some very awkward guy who makes up for it with a lot of confidence. If someone flirts back he starts to silently panic.

Most of the relationships like Garlaurmau/Zana/Travlyn will be slow burns in their own way. At the end of the first “season” Aphmau will open up to the idea of dating them both.

Man I didn’t realize how much I rewrote until I typed this out lol

#I would love to tell people about Love~Love paradise to but this is already long enough #aphblr #aphverse #mcd #mystreet rewrite #aphmau #mystreet aphmau #mystreet nana #katelyn the firefist #garroth ro'meave

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natalicss · 3 months ago

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idk what fic to write sooo help me choose THANKS

everything is inspired by a song because…i love music & im always day dreaming frfr<3

NONE of these have even started yet like these are literally ideas i am making up as im typing this sooo like…they might all happen eventually. there’s a lil poll at the bottom but idk we can yap about it too (im always down to yap)

kwon jiyong x reader

summary: you and jiyong break up and you are simply reminiscing over it as you sit in the bed you two once shared (all pain and angst)

bambam x reader

summary: you are back working on chuang asia season 2. when you meet the new producers, you can’t help but be attracted to a certain familiar face (fluffy crack nonsense)

kwon jiyong x american popstar!reader

summary: back when you and jiyong were first dating and keeping everything a secret, even from your best friends<3 spoiler: it doesn’t work. (more fluffy crack)

jackson wang x celeb!reader

summary: you and jackson are each others biggest what if’s, your timelines always narrowly missing each other. you go through a breakup with your boyfriend, and you run into …well…guess (maybe a bit of angst & fluff??)

kwon jiyong x celeb!reader

summary: you run into your ex boyfriend. he’s trying to be friends again, but you’re not the same as you were back when you two got together (idk just bitter exes and humbling men)

choi seunghyun x reader

summary: you can feel it, your relationship slipping away. neither of you would say anything, until one day you finally let him go (all angst no comfort)

#Spotify #kwon jiyong x reader #gdragon x reader #bigbang x reader #choi seunghyun x reader #big bang x reader #bambam x reader #jackson wang x reader #got7 x reader #kpop x reader #kpop fluff #kpop angst

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luvingjeanie · 4 months ago

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headcanons | ryohei arisu

author’s note: i started aib and ohmygod this man, smut hc’s are definitely ooc but i just need him so bad so i’m feeding my own delusions.

warnings: nothing much, just my first time writing smut hc’s😭

synopsis: pre-borderlands hc’s! also this is LONGGG, i have too many thoughts.

smut hc’s are definitely ooc. realistically he’s gonna be a nervous wreck but let me pretend.

not proof read

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ pre-borderlands

♡ he’s a loser, you know it, he knows it, his friends know it, and his father definitely does. but it makes him all the more endearing.

♡ he’s so, so nervous at first, but once you both grow more comfortable in your relationship he’s giving into your every wish, genuinely at your beck and call. you’re his whole world and he just wants to make you happy <3

♡ he’s a little gamer! mainly pc (unfortunately, i’m a ps5 girly) but he knows his stuff. definitely uses emulators to play games like resident evil and the last of us.

♡ he prefers online shooters and stuff, but he doesn’t mind story based games if they’re more action based, like re4.

♡ i think he’d prefer a girlfriend who doesn’t mind video games (or loves them like him) so you can play together and talk about games :(

♡ would definitely emulate it takes two on both his pc and yours so you could play together, it’s such a cutesy little couple game! you guys would have a blast playing together! :(

♡ if you had a console best believe he’s using it for at least an hour every time he’s over, won’t admit it’s better than his PC but you both know it’s what he’s thinking.

♡ loves it when you sit in his lap while he plays :( and you love it too.

♡ arms wrapped around your waist as he rests his controller on your thighs, chin on your shoulder as he plays, but he always gets distracted, giving you the attention you want so easily, kissing your neck gently, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs and hips as he whispers in your ear.

♡ i can’t imagine he uses pet names often, if he does they’re classics like ‘baby’ and ‘babe’.

♡ “Baby, you wanna hop on call for a bit?” he texts you at least once a day every night you aren’t together, he ends up screen sharing a movie or show you can watch together.

♡ is also a boyfriend that makes you watch him play i’m so sorry but he just is. you see him rage far too often over COD.

♡ loves it when you call him ‘honey’, just does it for him.

♡ he’s a nerd so that definitely extends to different parts of his life other than video games, when you go shopping you always end up browsing new posters, figurines, and mangas.

♡ AOT is my favourite anime/manga so i’m gonna hc that it’s his too! ;)

♡ his favourite character is eren. without a doubt, just thinks he’s so cool, and absolutely loses his mind when he sees him turn into the attack titan for the first time, “Babe! Fucking look, that’s so cool!-“

♡ thinks you’re so pretty. while girls loved karube, the same couldn’t be said for him. in the show he’s in his 20s so i won’t say he’s a virgin, but definitely not super experienced.

♡ just can’t believe he has a girlfriend as pretty as you, no matter what you look like, goth, emo, a girl who loves to dress up and wear makeup, or if you prefer dressing down he thinks you’re so stunning.

♡ “you’re the prettiest girl ever.” (literal heart eyes)

♡ “your makeup looks really nice, baby :)”

♡ *stares at you in the mirror while you brush your hair.*

♡ “baby can you play a game with me, i’m bored :(.”

♡ dates are super lowkey! but you both love it that way.

♡ walks in parks, cinema dates, shopping dates, lazy days on the couch or in his bed watching movies are the most common ones.

♡ he does splurge on an actual restaurant for anniversary’s and valentines and your birthday with whatever little money he has.

♡ dresses up on those days too! He’ll wear a plain black shirt or white button up (whatever is more appropriate) instead of a graphic tee and some nice jeans or black slacks (he steals them from his brother.)

♡ for gifts he also keeps in lowkey, and so do you! you both can’t afford much so you just appreciate what the other gets you.

♡ he gets you little figures and posters he thinks you’ll like, or plushies! if you like makeup he’ll splurge a tad and get you a nice lipgloss you said you’ve been wanting.

♡ is definitely a boyfriend who gets gifts catered to your interests and things you like rather than buying you stuff he thinks all girls like.

♡ just over all very thoughtful, sweet, and very very handsome even though he refuses to believe it.

♡ pre-borderlands smut hc’s

♡ isn’t a virgin, but not experienced. one or two bodies before you i’d guess.

♡ let’s talk abt his dick 🤭

♡ he’s above average, but not insanely big. 6 inches, decently girthy but not so much so that it would hurt. it’s so pretty. a perfect size, two toned, a few veins and perfectly straight.

♡ i see far too many people hc him as a sub, but i honestly don’t see that, he’s neither and doesn’t have much of an interest in power dynamics

♡ you’re his equal, his baby, why would he wanna control you in anyway? :(

♡ such a titty guy. he is’t picky about size, but loves the way yours sit so pretty.

♡ soft pecks slowly grow into heated and lustfully heavy touching above your clothes, his big hands and lithe fingers shyly manoeuvring under your top. Inching their way up your soft flesh, they always find your breasts, caressing them gingerly as he softly loves on you.

♡ positions are nothing crazy, he loves classic missionary sometimes, just staring into your eyes, watching your face contort as you whine and moan. god you just look so good.

♡ but he also loves prone bone, getting you on your stomach, sliding himself in, slowly, almost torturously so. he fills you to the hilt, groaning into your ear softly as your bodies press together, sharing their warmth. he props himself up on his elbows, thrusting into you gently and slowly. he wants to savour every moment. without a doubt, he always brushes your hair away from your face, putting a large hand under you chin to crane your neck around to him, kissing you slowly as he fucks you into the mattress.

♡ bro LOVESSS head. like so bad. he loves giving, of course, he’s never been much of a ladykiller, so knowing he’s able to please you drives him mad.

♡ but he’s always down for you to suck his dick. he prefers laying with his back propped against the headboard, letting you work away. with a hand gripping your hair, or caressing the back of your head, and his other hand behind his own head, his mouth agape and eyes fluttering closed.

♡ on certain days, he thrusts up into your mouth, but poor boy always ends up feeling a bit bad :(

♡ ohgod and his fingers.

♡ long, lithe, slender. his hands are dexterous, soft and not overly calloused. anytime he uses them on you, he has you laying beside him whilst he leans over you, pumping them in and out, his thumb giving all it’s attention to your clit.

♡ the dirty talk is light, just filled with praise and light teasing

♡ he’s just too soft with you, he could never degrade you in the slightest.

♡ “attagirl, baby.”

♡”doing so good f’me.”

♡”you look so pretty, baby, my pretty girl.”

♡”makin’ me feel so good.”

♡ and just strings of curses as he praises and loves on you

♡ he’s just too good to you :(

#kacey talks <3 #arisu ryohei x reader #arisu x reader #arisu ryohei #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader

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stellisketches · 2 years ago

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Random MCD Headcanons that have nothing to do with anything (Part 5???)

Sorry I haven't made any real posts in forever. My drawing phone broke and college has been a bitch so i haven't really gotten the chance to make anything (though I finally made some more progress on the next chapter of my rewrite). In any case, please accept this next installment of head canons I wrote like 10 months ago and completely forgot about in lieu of anything that requires actual talent. Love y'all:

Laurance lost an incisor tooth in a fistfight when he was 19

When he got turned into a shadowknight it grew back, now he purposefully goes out of his way to loose teeth just cause he knows he can grow back an unlimited supply

Hayden has a cat named Bog Butter. He’s the color of butter and he found him in the bog.

Vylad’s favorite vegetable is avocado

There are three major guard academies in Ru’aun: one in O’Khasis, one in Scaleswind, and one in Bright Port.

Bright Port’s is the largest and most well known

O’Khasis’ is the most prestigious

Scaleswind’s academy is the most difficult

The bare minimum age to join is 14, though most people join between 16-19

Every guard must have a minimum of 2 years training to earn the actual title of Guard, however to serve in O’Khasis you need a minimum of 4 and for Scaleswind a minimum of 5.

Part of that training includes apprenticeship, so they do get some in-field experience with their mentors (think unpaid intern)

Technically you can train for up to 8 years, however most people only train for 2-5.

Garroth was in academy for 3-4 (although to be fair he had been trained in sword fighting since he was like 9)

Laurance went for 5 years and Dante went for 6 ½

Dante lied about his age when he enlisted though

He was barely thirteen

Both went to the Bright Port Academy however they were in different divisions at different times since Dante is younger, so they really only saw each other in passing and never actually talked to one another

The only personal interaction they ever had was one time at the academy Laurance was trying to get back to his dorm after a night of copious drinking and partying and could barely walk out the front door of the bar. Dante (who was pretty tipsy himself) ended up half-carrying back to Laurance’s dorm before going back to his own. Neither of them remember this.

Katelyn’s two older brothers’ names are Kaj and Khareem

Khareem is the oldest, then Kaj, then Katelyn, then Kacey

Occasionally, when he is absolutely, positively, 100% sure he is alone, Zane will sing to himself sometimes

Dante once did a Zane impression in front of everyone and Garroth got so freaked out by how realistic it sounded he made Dante swear he’d never do that voice around him again.

The worst argument Kenmur and Emmalyn ever had during their marriage was whether their system was heliocentric or geocentric (Kenmur argued the former and Emmalyn argued the latter)

In most colleges across Ru’Aun, there is usually some statue of Enki that students will leave offerings to before their big exams

Offerings vary, but it’s usually something like food, money, trinkets, or paper. It varies on how important the exam/how desperate the students are

Kenmur went to one of these colleges for a few years

One time he fell asleep the night before his final exam and he woke up like an hour before his exam was supposed to take place and in a fit of panic he dumped his entire wallet in front of the statue. He passed with flying colors.

One time at the Narhakan college someone left a life-sized horse statue made out of gold. No one has any idea where it came from or who left it. It’s become kind of an urban legend among all the colleges

Zenix never learned how to read and by god he isn’t about to wimp out now

Garroth tried to teach him once and it… did not go well

Let’s just say Garroth still owes Emmalyn a book from that incident. And a new table.

Zianna came from the same region that Esmund was native to

Katelyn absolutely despises the feeling of sand in her shoes

Dmitri and Nekoette raided the Bright Port guard academy kitchen the first night they got sworn in

Dmitri also had to go to the infirmary after getting shot in the arm by one of Nekoette’s loose arrows

Laurance can play the piano and used to play it at some of the taverns in Meteli

Levin and Malachi both know a good bit of Elvish thanks to spending so much time in Yggdrasil

They switch to Elvish for the majority of their arguments

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cinelestial · 1 year ago

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Apple Music’s ‘100 Best Albums of All Time’ list:

#1. Lauryn Hill — The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

#2. Michael Jackson — Thriller

#3. The Beatles — Abbey Road

#4. Prince & The Revolution — Purple Rain

#5. Frank Ocean — Blonde

#6. Stevie Wonder — Songs in the Key of Life

#7. Kendrick Lamar — good kid, m.A.A.d city

#8. Amy Winehouse — Back to Black

#9. Nirvana — Nevermind

#10. Beyoncé — Lemonade

#11. Fleetwood Mac — Rumours

#12. Radiohead — OK Computer

#13. Jay-Z — The Blueprint

#14. Bob Dylan — Highway 61 Revisited

#15. Adele — 21

#16. Joni Mitchell — Blue

#17. Marvin Gaye — What’s Going On

#18. Taylor Swift — 1989 (Taylor’s Version)

#19. Dr. Dre — The Chronic

#20. The Beach Boys — Pet Sounds

#21. The Beatles — Revolver

#22. Bruce Springsteen — Born to Run

#23. Daft Punk — Discovery

#24. David Bowie — The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

#25. Miles Davis — Kind of Blue

#26. Kanye West — My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

#27. Led Zeppelin — Led Zeppelin II

#28. Pink Floyd — The Dark Side of the Moon

#29. A Tribe Called Quest — The Low End Theory

#30. Billie Eilish — WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

#31. Alanis Morissette — Jagged Little Pill

#32. The Notorious B.I.G. — Ready to Die

#33. Radiohead — Kid A

#34. Public Enemy — It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back

#35. The Clash — London Calling

#36. Beyoncé — BEYONCÉ

#37. Wu-Tang Clan — Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

#38. Carole King — Tapestry

#39. Nas — Illmatic

#40. Aretha Franklin — I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You

#41. OutKast — Aquemini

#42. Janet Jackson — Control

#43. Talking Heads — Remain in Light

#44. Stevie Wonder — Innervisions

#45. Björk — Homogenic

#46. Bob Marley & The Wailers — Exodus

#47. Drake — Take Care

#48. Beastie Boys — Paul’s Boutique

#49. U2 — The Joshua Tree

#50. Kate Bush — Hounds of Love

#51. Prince — Sign O’ the Times

#52. Guns N' Roses — Appetite for Destruction

#53. The Rolling Stones — Exile on Main St.

#54. John Coltrane — A Love Supreme

#55. Rihanna — ANTI

#56. The Cure — Disintegration

#57. D’Angelo — Voodoo

#58. Oasis — (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?

#59. Arctic Monkeys — AM

#60. The Velvet Underground & Nico — The Velvet Underground and Nico

#61. Sade — Love Deluxe

#62. 2Pac — All Eyez on Me

#63. The Jimi Hendrix Experience — Are You Experienced?

#64. Erykah Badu — Baduizm

#65. De La Soul — 3 Feet High and Rising

#66. The Smiths — The Queen Is Dead

#67. Portishead — Dummy

#68. The Strokes — Is This It

#69. Metallica — Master of Puppets

#70. N.W.A — Straight Outta Compton

#71. Kraftwerk — Trans-Europe Express

#72. SZA — SOS

#73. Steely Dan — Aja

#74. Nine Inch Nails — The Downward Spiral

#75. Missy Elliott — Supa Dupa Fly

#76. Bad Bunny — Un Verano Sin Ti

#77. Madonna — Like a Prayer

#78. Elton John — Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

#79. Lana Del Rey — Norman F*****g Rockwell!

#80. Eminem — The Marshall Mathers LP

#81. Neil Young — After the Gold Rush

#82. 50 Cent — Get Rich or Die Tryin'

#83. Patti Smith — Horses

#84. Snoop Dogg — Doggystyle

#85. Kacey Musgraves — Golden Hour

#86. Mary J. Blige — My Life

#87. Massive Attack — Blue Lines

#88. Nina Simone — I Put a Spell on You

#89. Lady Gaga — The Fame Monster

#90. AC/DC — Back in Black

#91. George Michael — Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1

#92. Tyler, The Creator — Flower Boy

#93. Solange — A Seat at the Table

#94. Burial — Untrue

#95. Usher — Confessions

#96. Lorde — Pure Heroine

#97. Rage Against the Machine — Rage Against the Machine

#98. Travis Scott — ASTROWORLD

#99. Eagles — Hotel California

#100. Robyn — Body Talk

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deathbyhertouch · 1 year ago

Text

Chance of Fate part II

Julien Baker x f!reader

A/N: thank you to everyone for your love on the first post. as promised, here is the continuation of Chance of Fate

word count: 2.8k

warnings: SMUT (18+ mdni), pining, fluff, strap on, missionary, Jules hitting it from the back, oral (Julien receiving), dirty talk, dom!Julien, body worshipping

After escaping the elevator the other day, all you could think about was the next time you would see Julien. She hadn’t called or texted you in 3 days and you were slowly going insane. Why would she say she wanted to take you out and then just not reach out. You curse yourself for not getting her number before you left. You needed to get out and get a distraction. Reaching for your phone, you scroll until you see Kacey’s name pop up.

Drinks tonight? It’s as if she read your mind. You quickly replied with a time and place and she agreed she would meet you there. Not that you would mind getting trapped in that godforsaken elevator again if it meant you could be alone with Jules herself.

You glanced at your bedside clock and took note of the time. Okay Y/N, you have just shy of 2 hours to get ready. You padded over to the shower, turning it on.

—------------------------------------------

After you scrubbed up and down, you got out and dried off. Generously applying moisturizer and body lotion, your mind drifted to Julien again, wondering what her hands would feel like massaging your skin, instead of your own. You noticed your nipples stiffened at your own thoughts, almost beckoning you to abandon your plans for the night and just take care of your own needs.

You shook your head at the amusing thought and continued on with your routine. You picked out some underwear, a matching baby pink thong and lace bralette to go with. Waltzing towards your closet, you thumbed through the possibilities of outfits. You settled on a brown leather miniskirt and a white baby tee. Wasn’t your best work, but you were quite distracted in your own thoughts at the moment. You moved your operation back to the bathroom, blow drying your hair and styling it with some loose curls. You began to apply your makeup, and looked down at your phone.

No new messages.

You huffed and finished up your makeup and went downstairs to grab your boots. You ordered an uber and waited patiently by your front door. When the uber came, you climbed in and waited the short ride until the bar came into view.

You walked in and found Kacey already placing her order. You smiled and made your way through the crowded bar towards her. Elbowing past a sea of people, you got to her and slung your arms around her in a cramped hug. She squealed and hugged you back.

“I’m so glad you came! I felt bad that you got trapped in my elevator so I wanted to treat you to some drinks to make up for it!” She was talking fast out of excitement and you laughed at her enthusiasm. You put in an order for your drink, just a simple rum and coke. When you got your drinks, Kacey pulled you onto the dance floor. You laughed and danced with her.

“Have you heard from your mystery woman from the elevator yet?” She yelled over the sea of people. You took a large sip and shook your head at her.

“No, not a peep.” You replied and she furrowed her brows at that.

“Well that’s fucking rude. You’re a total babe.” You chuckled and shrugged your shoulders at her. You raise your glass at her, signaling you were going to get another. She gave you a goofy thumbs up and went back to dancing. As you made your way back to the bar, a tall man wrapped his arm around your waist. You frowned and turned to face him.

“Hi beautiful, I was watching you with your friend and thought I’d buy you a drink to introduce myself.” He smirked down at you and you grabbed his arm and lifted it away from your body.

“Aw c’mon, you look like you could be fun, just one drink?” He tried again and before you could protest you felt a hand brush your lower back and a pair of lips kiss your cheek.

“There you are, princess. Sorry I took so long.” No way. You turned to see Julien smiling back at the man, eyes sparkling as if to say ‘fucking try me’. You beamed at her and pecked her lips. The guy must have stormed off at this point because she snorted and started laughing really hard at his pathetic attempt at picking you up.

“ Jules, thank you. I was wondering when I’d be able to see you again.” You smiled at her, a bright blush painted onto your cheeks. She flashed you a toothy grin, pulling your waist closer to hers.

“After we left the elevator, I realized I forgot to actually get your info and you ran off before I could catch you. I’m so sorry.” She blushed as well, eyes falling towards her feet. Your heart fluttered and you moved your hand up to her chin, raising it so her met yours.

“How can I ever repay my knight in shining armor?” You whispered, forehead pressing against hers. You could’ve swore you heard her whimper at that. She quickly downed her coke, and placed your empty glass on the bar.

“C’mon princess, let’s get out of here.” She grabbed your hand and pressed a quick kiss to your neck. You looked around for Kacey and you saw her point at Julien, making a gesture with her hands for sex. You smiled and nodded. You mouthed ‘this is her’ back at her and her jaw dropped before giving you a thumbs up.

“Let’s go, babe.” You smiled down at her and followed her out of the crowded bar.

“My place or yours?” she asked, pulling out her phone to call an uber. You couldn’t speak, the shit-eating grin plastered on your face as you couldn’t fucking believe that she was here with you right now.

“Doesn’t matter, Jay.” You answered, placing your hands on her ass, pulling her into a deep kiss. She moaned into your mouth, wrapping one hand around the back of your neck, the other finding its way into your hair. You licked her lip and she opened her mouth, humming into the kiss. Your makeout session ended far too quickly as she pulled away.

“Your chariot is here, m’lady.” She said with a terrible British accent. You laughed and got into the car, wiggling your hips as she followed you into the car. She pulled you back into a rough kiss, pulling you onto her lap. You moaned and ground your hips onto hers. She let out a low growl and moved her mouth down to your neck, sucking a dark bruise into it. She soothed the mark with her tongue and repeated the process down towards your chest.

“Baby, I think we’re here, let’s go.” You said as the car came to a stop. You climbed off her lap and got out of the car, waiting for her. She exited the car and flashed you a dirty grin. She grabbed you by your legs and flung you over her shoulder as she practically ran through the front door of her place. You squealed with laughter as she made her way up to the bedroom and she threw you onto the mattress.

She pulled your face into hers, smiling as she pressed your forehead into hers. You felt the blush creep back up onto your face as you took stock of where you were. With Julien. In her bed. Wearing dangerously thin clothes.

As if she read your mind, she pecked your lips and skimmed her fingers under your shirt. You felt the goosebumps crawl across your skin and your eyes followed hers. She moved her mouth down to the exposed sliver of skin on your stomach, placing gentle kisses to the skin. You smiled, couldn’t be happier at where you are. Her hands moved up under your shirt, exposing your covered chest.

“For me? Darling, how did you know?” She looked like a kid on Christmas, anxious to unwrap you. Her fingers glossed over your nipples, already hardening under her soft touch. You whined at that and she let out a short chuckle.

“I know baby, just let me enjoy myself just a minute more.” She breathed her words as though she was the luckiest woman in the world. If it was up to her, she would freeze this moment. You looked radiant to her, and she would be damned if she were to ever let you go. Her eyes hung heavy, lids feeling droopy, high on your beauty.

She pulled your breasts free of the confining lace. Her breath hitched in her throat at the mere sight of what laid before her. Your hands running up to reach hers and she squeezed her fingers in yours. She was so happy with you and didn’t know quite how to tell you. You were hers, if only for tonight, but that would change, she wanted you like this every day and every night.

“Jules, please touch me, I need you.” You whimpered, hips bucking into nothing. You could feel your arousal seeping into your thong. She flashed that smile at you before slapping your tit. You gasped at the sensation, turning you on even more.

“Be patient, love. I will get to your cunt in a minute.” She growled at you. You nodded and squeezed her hand once more. Hers brought yours up to the sides of your head and she kissed your soft lips. You whined and tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away again. Your jaw dropped and she winked at you.

“I know, pretty girl. I’m quite irresistible. I can see that you’re soaked at how little I've done.” Her voice was dripping pure sex at you. You let out the filthiest of moans at her words. Her hands ran down your body until finally resting at the waistband of your skirt. She dragged her index finger across the front, until it rested under your skirt and against your swollen clit.

“Maybe soaked was a bit of an understatement. Look at you, your pretty pussy is just aching for me.” She said, looking at your face, fucked out already. She hasn’t even fucked you properly yet and here you were, an absolute wreck under her.

Her finger ran up and down your covered core and she pulled it abruptly from you, causing you to whine again. She brought her finger to your face, showing you the glistening juice that came from you. You opened your mouth, and she stuck the tip into your mouth and quickly moved to capture your mouth in a feverish kiss. Moaning at the taste, her hand went back down to your soaked cunt and pulled your thong taught against your clit. You gasped into her mouth and bucked your hips into her hand. She laughed and pulled away from you once more.

Your breath was shaky and your chest was heaving, you had never had anyone make you this aroused. She could sense your thoughts, that little shit. She rubbed her fingers over your panties before yanking them off and down your legs. She made quick work to remove your bra and flipped you onto your stomach in one fell swoop.

You whipped your head back at her and she smacked your ass playfully, but hard. Your clit throbbed at the action, and you could feel your slick leaking down and onto your thighs.

“One sec babe. I’ll be right back.” You watched her walk into her closet before returning with a small black box. She opened it and pulled out a dark purple dildo, and a black harness strap. You blinked and choked back a moan at the sight of it.

“Jules, p-please fuck me. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t stand for a week.” You moaned and she smacked your ass again. Her hand lingered on the flesh of your ass and gripped it tightly, knowing there would be her small handprint in a matter of a few hours. She pulled back and strapped herself into the harness, fixing the dildo so it adjusted just right. She let out a small whine, feeling the dildo bump against her clit.

“Tell me how much you need me, need my cock. Beg f’me dirty girl.” She said as she grabbed the shaft of her cock and ran the tip through your folds, collecting your arousal.

“I want you to fuck me deeply, I want you to make me cum on your cock so badly. I n-need you to fill me up. Fuck!” You whined, pushing your hips back into her, in turn making the hilt of her dildo rub against her clit. She threw her head back and smiled before turning her attention back to you.

“Let me grant that wish then, princess.” Without a further thought, her hips slammed forward into yours, pushing her cock all the way in. You yelped and your face pushed itself into her bedspread. She rutted her hips against yours at a fast pace. She was letting out small moans as her fingers gripped tightly into your hips. You could tell she was enjoying the feeling of the dildo pressing against her clit. You adjusted and slammed your hips back, fucking yourself back onto her, trying to get her to her own orgasm. She let out a string of fucks and moans. Her competitive side began to show as her pace grew faster and deeper. Both of you trying to make the other come first.

You weren’t sure how much longer you could last, your knees were wobbly, so you slowed your movements and let Julien take the lead again. She leaned down and pressed an open mouthed kiss to your shoulder blade, tangling her fingers into your hair, making a tight fist and yanking you back so your face was parallel to hers.

“Did my pretty princess fuck herself tired? Yeah? Want me to take care of you and let you cum all over my cock?” She growled into your ear, her hips snapping at a relentless pace. You let out a filthy moan and nodded exhaustedly. She kissed your cheek before pulling out of you completely.

In an instant, she grabbed your legs and flipped you onto your back, before resuming her position between your thighs, this time entering you slowly and keeping a turtle’s pace.

“Fuck Jules. I-I’m getting close.” You mewled at her, through breathy pants. She hummed into a smile and her fingers found your swollen clit.

“Is my pretty princess going to cum around my cock? Hmm? Is she?” She matched your tone, almost mocking your fucked out voice. You moaned a yes and her fingers pressed down hard and began to rub slow circles against you. Her hips dragging her cock in and out of you at the same pace.

“Cum f’me baby. I want to feel you clench around my cock.” She whispered and her own orgasm approached not to far behind yours. You let out a whine and you could feel your orgasm crash over you. You felt so at bliss, you could hardly keep your vision focused on your lover. She rode you through your release before pulling out. Before she could fully escape tho, you grabbed her arm and pulled her to you once more.

“Jules, ride my face. I need to taste you.” You said. She blushed and moved so her thighs were on either side of your face. Your arms wrapped around her thighs and pulled her flush against your tongue. She groaned at the feeling and you hummed against her wet core. Your eyes watching her face contort with pleasure.

You ate this woman out like it was your sworn duty. Her arousal coated your mouth and chin and you hummed at the taste. Sweet, just like her. You sped up your tongue, antagonizing her release. She moaned loudly and her hands gripped your hair. Her hips grinding down to bump against your nose and mouth. Her orgasm was fast approaching and you didn’t let up. You sucked harshly on her clit as she came over your face. She screamed with delight and you worked her through her own orgasm, lapping up her juices as they came to you. You tapped her thighs once she came down and she moved off your face.

“Wow, you were incredible, princess.” She croaked as she pulled you into her arms. You smiled and kissed her cheek.

“You weren’t so bad yourself, lovey.” You replied, almost cooing at her. You wrapped your arm around her waist and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.

“I want you like this all the time. I can’t get enough of you.” She whispered to you. You smiled and nodded into her, pressing a chaste kiss to her chest.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Jules.”

#julien baker x reader #julien baker smut #julien baker #boygenius smut #boygenius

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sorchathered · 1 year ago

Text

Sacred New Beginnings

Chapter 3

Pairing- Jake Seresin x Reader (oc Stormy), Bradley Bradshaw x reader (oc Stormy)

Warnings- language, drinking, suggestive sexual content

Summary- It’s Mav and Penny’s wedding day, you and Jake talk about last night’s revelations and you decide to meet with Bradley.

Song inspo- Butterflies- Kacey Musgraves, Feather- Sabrina Carpenter, Too Well- Reneé Rapp,

Present day

The only bad thing about waking up in San Diego was your internal clock was so off. What you’d thought was 7 am was actually 5 and you groaned as you checked your phone, realizing you were wide awake. The best part of being back in San Diego? The wall of muscle and strong arms wrapped around your body, Jake’s deep breathing against your neck caused your heart to flutter at the possibility of this being a regular thing. Last night had been an absolute shit show with one bomb dropping after another, and you knew you would need to unpack all of it and speak to Rooster but for now you wanted nothing more than to explore whatever this was with Jake.

You could feel him stirring and he kissed your neck, so you turned in his arms to look at him. If you’d thought he was perfection on a regular day, you’d been completely mistaken; hair a mess and warm flushed skin with a five o’clock shadow…He was like a fantasy. You craned your neck a little so you could press kisses to his cheek, and he sighed as he pulled you tighter to his chest. He cracked one eye open and groaned as he realized it was still dark outside, mumbling something the likes of you’re trying to kill me woman and you just laughed. How did it feel this easy? There should be an awkward morning after feeling settled over the two of you, no you hadn’t had sex but you’d definitely crossed a line and you wouldn’t have blamed him for feeling uncomfortable. He was running his hands all over your body now, legs still tangled together and he finally opened his eyes to look at you. Dark green orbs settled on you and he shined that 1000 watt smile, running the tip of his nose along yours and you all but melted into him.

“Thought you might’ve been a dream, but I don’t think I could have conjured up how beautiful you look in my arms Stormy girl, a man could get used to this.”

He gently gripped your chin to tilt your face to his, wanting to make sure that you hadn’t changed your mind and you surged forward to press your lips to his. He was barely holding it together if he was honest, you felt so good and he’d be lying if he hadn’t dreamed this up a million times, nothing ever coming close to reality as you hitched your leg over his hip and moaned into his mouth. Jake was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. And then he was immediately hit with a level head and realized what he was doing, he needed to stop; he couldn’t just jump into this with you yet you had so much that still needed to be figured out and he’d be damned if he ended up a rebound. So he gently kissed your lips once, then twice and rolled over on to his back, mentally reciting the first paragraph of the NATOPS manual for his super hornet as he tried to come back to earth.

You leaned back on your elbow to look at him now, worry etched in your features and he could beat his own ass for making you feel unwanted.

“What’s wrong?” You whispered, “ did I do something?”

God he was doomed, he needed to get his shit together before he gave in and fucked you senseless just to make sure you knew how insanely sexy you were.

“Baby you couldn’t do anything wrong to me if you tried, and trust me I want you more than I can put into words, but I want your mind clear before we start this. I don’t want to be second choice Y/n, if we do this I want everything with you. I know that’s a lot and I don’t want to run you off sweetheart but if I’m honest this whole thing scares the shit out of me. I’ve never been this guy, I’m a one night stand, maybe a few dates at best; but I want a lifetime and I want it with you. So until you’re ready for that we gotta cool off sugar, just for a little while ok?”

You blinked back tears and a sob hiccuped from your chest, how the hell was he even real?! This was hallmark movie levels of romance, this shit didn’t happen to normal people did it?

You kissed him again, just sweet and gentle not to take it too far and laid your hand on his chest.

“I want this Jake, I don’t know how we are going to do it but I do; I want all of that with you.”

You’d followed him to the kitchen after your declaration, both of you still in a haze and you hoped coffee and some breakfast could bring some clarity. You worked together easily in the kitchen to make French toast and bacon, dancing around to the songs on his playlist flowing through the room. It felt so good, just being here with him like this and you felt lighter than you’d felt in months.

Around 7 you were cuddled up on the couch with your third cup of coffee, surfing through channels when you got a text message on your phone. You knew it was probably Phoenix just letting you know to be ready at a certain time for hair and makeup but when you unlocked the screen it wasn’t Natasha on your screen; it was Bradley. You knew it was coming, he’d been drunk last night and your blood was boiling at the audacity he’d had to try and get you back knowing what you knew now. Did he really think you were that stupid? Or did he honestly just think he could cover his tracks enough to reel you back in, hoping the history you had would be enough to convince you to start over? Either way he was sorely mistaken; he’d fucked you over and cheated on you it was over the minute he chose his career over your relationship.

Jake had noticed the shift in you, you were still staring at your phone with a glazed look but your hands were trembling. He leaned over and plucked the device from your lap and his heart sank. Rooster. It was bound to happen today, there’s no way he’d make it through the wedding without trying to talk to you again but Jake had hoped you’d have a little more time in your happy bubble together. He took your hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze,

“What are you thinking y/n? Do you want to meet up with him? Do you need me to come with?”

You shook your head, you wanted to scream over the stupidity of it all. But you knew what you had to do so you took your phone back and texted Bradley.

“I’m gonna meet him for lunch, please don’t worry about me. I can handle it, I promise. I’ll have Phoenix come pick me up afterwards to get ready and meet you at the venue.”

He hated this. He didn’t like the idea of you going alone and he knew Rooster could be persistent. You two had a lot of history despite how much shit he’d put you through but Jake knew the only way was to let you handle this, he had to trust your judgment.

“I’ll do whatever you want baby, like I said I’m all in.”

You’d done minimal makeup, thrown on a button up of Jake’s and some cutoffs and taken an Uber to the restaurant. Jake had wanted to drop you off but you didn’t want to start off arguing with Bradley, you didn’t even know where to start to be honest. You’d talked to Fanboy on the way over, he was less than thrilled that Jake had spilled the beans but he understood that you needed to know. He had always been kind to you but he was Bradley’s friend first, so you expected he would always have his back first even if his friend was compromising his future. You tried your best to stay level headed as you exited the car, clocking the blue bronco parked on the back lot and going over what you had to say. The feel of Jake’s shirt and the smell of his cologne grounded you as you entered the restaurant, catching Bradley’s honey brown eyes as you scanned the room. This was going to be hell.

He was nervous, he knew he’d fucked up last night; got so caught up in his buzz and the emotions but it had felt good to hold you again. He’d made a mess of everything with you, and then continued to burn his world down after you left by hooking up with Mirage again. He was lonely and there was no excuse, Mav pulled no punches when he confronted him on his behavior after finding out how he’d stolen the mission assignment from you and Jake and had nearly grounded him for it. His mother would’ve been so disappointed in him, he couldn’t even begin to think what she would say if she was here and could see what he’d done. Mav and Penny made him seek out a therapist and over the past few months he’d been doing so well, working on his anger management and drinking a lot less…well at least until this past week. He’d let the thought of you coming back get under his skin and he felt like he’d tanked all of his progress in one night. He wanted desperately to apologize, he knew he didn’t deserve to hope he could get you back but if he could at least have you back in his life he’d take whatever you were willing to give. As you walked towards his table now he was overwhelmed with just how pretty you always were, just effortlessly beautiful and he felt a lump catch in his throat, he had to fix this.

You came to a stop in front of him and he gave you a small smile, gesturing for you to sit. The awkwardness of it all made your skin crawl, it had never been hard to get along with him, he was all big personality and fun energy seemed to ooze out of him. None of that seemed to be present now, he looked almost timid in his actions as he cleared his throat, and you braced yourself for whatever he had to say.

“Y/n I was out of line last night, I never should have let it get that far. I know I fucked everything up, hell I keep doing it. I can’t make any excuses, you deserved so much more from me than that.”

“Bradley we are both somewhat to blame for what happened last night. Honestly it was an emotional night and we’d both had too much to drink. I do appreciate the apology though, it’s nice to know you can actually hold yourself accountable sometimes.” You had an edge to your voice that was almost unrecognizable to him, he’d never been on the receiving end of your sharp tongue and it caused him to wince.

“I can’t change what I did Stormy, I made a huge mistake-”

“A mistake is accidentally breaking a glass, or rear ending someone in a parking lot, you attempted to tank my career to lift up your own, that was a choice Bradshaw, not a mistake.”

He was looking at the table not willing to look at you, he knew this would be hard and that you would go for the jugular, letting you say what you needed was important no matter how much it hurt because he did in fact deserve it.

You swiped at your eyes to keep the tears at bay, you knew you’d get emotional and you always seemed to cry when you were angry; that was part of why they called you Storm, you could be a force to reckon with when you were backed into a wall yet right now you felt more clear than you had in your life. You knew what you wanted to get out, and it was time for him to know you knew the full extent of his betrayal.

“Baby, please don’t cry- I don’t expect anything to come from this. I truly want you to know I’m not asking anything of you, I’ve been seeing a therapist for the past 6 months and he agreed that it was important for me to try and apologize if you’d let me. You have every right to say or feel whatever you want. I just want you to know I’m sorry. For all of it.”

You let out a dark chuckle at that, did he really think he could continue this and never admit what else he’d done? You wondered if his therapist even knew the full extent of what he’d done? Did Mav? A sinking feeling hits your gut at the thought that your mentor may also be in the wrong, God you hoped he didn’t know.

“All of it huh?” You mused, looking him over and willing him to look you in the eye, you wouldn’t be ignored for this part. “So just the near destruction of my career? Or the fact that you cheated on me right after you did it? Ooh oh or the fact that you continued your little affair after I left?! Tell me Roo, which part are you most sorry for?”

He looked like you had slapped him, and honestly you wished you had. You were shaking now, you needed to wrap this up and get out of here as soon as possible, you looked down at the phone in your lap and typed out to Phoenix that you were ready to leave as you let it sink in to Bradley just how much you truly knew.

“What?! How?-“

“Let me guess, right about now you’re wondering how I know considering you swore Mickey to secrecy?”

“Son of a bitch”

“Well Roo looks like he’s as loyal to you as you were to me. Funny how that works out huh?”

Your phone dinged, Phe was already waiting for you outside. So you grasped your purse and slammed a twenty on the table.

“Apology not accepted Rooster, don’t contact me again.”

You felt like you were gasping for air as you made it outside, Phoenix was perched on the hood of her car and jumped off to rush to you, tears pouring from your eyes as she guided you into your seat.

“What the hell happened, Stormy?”

“Did you know?”

“What do you-“

“NATASHA! Did you know?! That he was sleeping with Mirage while we were together. DID YOU KNOW?!”

She jerked back her hand like you’d burned her, you could see the wheels turning in her head and she slammed her fists on the steering wheel.

“That son of a bitch, he told me that they started seeing each other after you left, I told him that shit was too soon but no, no! Stormy I would have told you if I had known. FUCK! I can’t believe this shit.”

She was crying along with you now, and you reached across the console to hug her as she pulled you both out of the lot.

You two had finally calmed down when you made it to the venue Penny and Amelia were waiting for you at; anger still simmered at the surface for Natasha but she would be damned if she let anything ruin this day. You pulled your phone out to text Jake, letting him know you’d made it to the venue and your phone rang immediately. You knew he’d probably been staring at his phone this whole time waiting for you to call, so you told Nat to go ahead and answered.

“Are you ok? Do you need me to come down there?”

You could hear the worry in his voice and you almost told him yes, please come, hold me and make me feel better but you bit down on your lip and took a steady breath; you’d see him soon and that would get you through the afternoon.

“I’m ok, it was awful but it’s done. He knows I know everything now and I don’t have anything else to say to him. And don’t tempt me Seresin, I’ve been away from you less than two hours and I already miss you.” The admission had your cheeks heating up and you couldn’t stop the stupid smile plastered on your face if you tried.

He laughed and it made your smile impossibly wider, you were falling hard and there was no point in denying it.

“I miss you all the time, so tell me you gonna be my date tonight? Officially? I look pretty damn good in my suit I have to say.”

He was going to be the death of you, you were certain of it.

“I think we could make that happen, I’ll see you tonight Casanova.”

Spending time with the girls had been good for your heart, it had been too long since you’d seen Halo, and Amelia seemed to have grown a whole foot in the 6 months you’d been gone. Penny looked like an angel in her gorgeous white dress, Mav was one lucky son of a bitch to have finally convinced her to marry him. You couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when she walked down the aisle, it had been a long time coming but they had been soulmates from the beginning.

Afternoon crept into evening and before you knew it the time had come for everyone to take their seats for the ceremony. You stepped out of the suite and ran directly into someone’s firm chest. You looked up quick to apologize and there he was, Jake Seresin dressed to the nines in his fancy tux. You couldn’t deny he was right, he did look damn good. He looked almost dazed as he took you in, your black dress had a flowy skirt and a thigh slit, hair in a loose updo and just the right amount of sparkly makeup (which Amelia had insisted on).

“I never thought I’d see the day that Hangman was rendered speechless” you whispered softly as you looked up at him, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to kiss you.

“I think the problem is I have too much I want to say, but I don’t want to scare you off. You look beautiful, Stormy girl, so damn beautiful.”

The door swung open behind you and you both turned to make room, Phoenix and Amelia peeking out the door with a mischievous look on their faces.

“So are you two like a thing now? Because I can totally see it. He’s totally hot y/n” Amelia said as she pointed finger guns at you and rushing back into the room giggles pouring through the doorway.

You facepalmed and Jake laughed, Phoenix inspected the both of you with her ever watchful eye, she could see it too; something had changed between the two of you. She didn’t push, knowing you would tell her when you were ready, simply shooing you both down the hall so the three of you could find your seats.

The ceremony had been beautiful, Mav and Penny had written their own vows and there wasn’t a dry eye in the building by the time they were done, decades of love poured into the words they promised each other. You had noticed Bradley trying to catch your gaze several times but refused to give him the attention he so clearly wanted, you’d given him enough of your time today and that was more than he’d deserved.

The reception was a beautiful affair, tables on the beach underneath torches and twinkle lights as the band played, people taking to the makeshift dance floor that had been set up on the sand. You watched as your friends danced and mingled between each other, Payback and his husband, Nat and her girlfriend, Bob and his very pregnant wife (you still couldn’t believe the shy WSO had a whole brood of children with his high school sweetheart, barely in their thirties and already on their fourth baby), you had missed them all so much it hurt. You felt someone touch your shoulder and looked up to find Mickey Garcia, you gestured for him to sit as he put a beer down in front of you which you were grateful for.

“I should have said something a long time ago Stormy, what happened with Rooster-“

“Mickey, stop. I understand the guilt you are feeling but what happened isn’t your fault or responsibility. And tonight isn’t a night for this kind of talk, you and I are cool so let’s just enjoy our evening ok bubs?” You ruffled his hair and he gave you a tight hug as he ventured back into the crowd, no doubt to convince Halo for a dance.

Jake was talking with Mav and Coyote near the bar, jacket long forgotten and sleeves rolled up on his nice white button down. You couldn’t help but stare, all this time of the two of you being platonic had kept you from truly seeing him and now that you knew what it felt like to kiss him, be held in his arms, hear him declare his love? It was like a drug and you wanted more.

He could feel your gaze, his eyes flicked over to you as he watched you drink your beer, you had the audacity to look shy as he watched the blush creep across your cheeks from being caught. He quickly excused himself, catching a knowing glance from Javy, he knew he’d weasel it out of him later but right now all his thoughts were focused on getting his hands on you. He came up behind you leaning in to whisper in your ear, and you couldn’t get up fast enough, grabbing his jacket and your purse as he led you away from the beach and back towards his truck.

“Do you think they’ll be mad we’re leaving?” You said a little breathlessly as you hopped back into your heels and tried to keep up, Jake all but hauling you to the door. Instead of opening it to let you in he pressed you to the cool metal, caging you in.

“I think if they knew that we were making up for lost time they’d understand, because looking at you in this dress is driving me crazy and I might die if I don’t kiss you.”

You yanked him down to you, licking into his mouth and tasting the beer on his tongue. He was delicious and warm, running his hand up your thigh through the slit in your gown and groping your chest with the other, a high pitched whine leaving you as he teased the side of your lace thong, and you gripped his hair in a harsh tug that had him groaning into your mouth. He knew he needed to stop, anyone could see the two of you out here and he wasn’t the sharing type, so he smoothed his hands over the satiny fabric of your dress and stepped back, the look of you enough to make him second guess his choice to take you home instead of fucking you senseless in his truck. Your hair was messy, falling out of your updo with swollen lips and your pretty pink lipstick smeared, one strap from your dress hung loosely at your shoulder and God he needed you. Your eyes were glazed over, still trying to process that he’d pulled away and you gave him what he considered the cutest pout he’d ever seen in his life.

“Why’d you stop?” You fussed, curling your fingers through his belt loops in an attempt to pull him closer.

He kissed the pout off your lips and pulled you into his chest, opening the truck door to slide you into the passenger seat.

“Because if I’m gonna make love to you like I want it’s not gonna be in the parking lot during Mav’s wedding darlin’, now be a good girl and let me get you home so I can take my time with you.”

You giggled and peppered kisses along his cheek and neck as he buckled you in, anticipation thrumming through you.

What you didn’t see as the two of you drove off was your ex, hands balled up into fists at the sight he’d just witnessed.

Jake Seresin Masterlist

Tagging- @mamachasesmayhem

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