#dummy don
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#trump2024#trumpler#dump trump#trump#don the con#donald j. trump#prison for trump#trump for prison 2024#lock him up#the biggest loser#dummy don#loser#loser trump#yourfired#don trump#donaldtrump
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Night Hunter (Rick Jacobson, 1996)
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"character shaming" label
YOU DUMMY THICC stop eating all the donuts on your own !!!
fine. I will take that shaming label, if it means I can get to have more donuts simply for myself. no sharing!!
#lord don replies#megalo don#fortnite tumblrverse#// he is kinda dummy thicc tho lol#// silly shark man
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Guess who just ordered squeakers and rattles so I can make little !!! rug plushies !!! that squeak and rattle!!!
#FIRST TEST DUMMY IS SOME TBH SHAPED FURSONAS!!!!! Doing some payday ones nect#crush.txt#i finished sewing one foday n if just donned on me j never ordered the shit so i jsut did dvejdbeh
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don and his piercings???!?!?!?!?
#sanssouci's townies#what are THOOOOOSE#townie fashion strikes again#don lothario#is this an autogenerated outfit??#i feel like this is supposed to be his “career outfit”#or am i big dummy and didn't realize ea put him in this outfit after they gave the calientes their revamp#the sims 4#ts4#sims 4#sims 4 screenies#sims 4 screenshots#the sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 screencaps#ts4 screencaps#ts4 screenshots
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He thinks Ichigo could come up with something if he tried, but he nods. "Sound strategy. Could write about anything you want if you mask it as fiction. When you do and it publishes, lemme know so I can buy it." He'd probably even try to sit down long enough, sober enough, to read it. He snorts a dry, humorless laugh at Ichigo calling him a dumbass. "You're right. I'm a dealer, but I'm also a menace and a danger to society." He's mostly kidding. He doesn't care about society as a whole enough to think of himself as a menace or anything else to it. Ichigo really thinks highly of him and he's not sure what he ever did to cultivate that opinion. His brows arch a little. "You're gonna write your book about me? Or about misunderstood drug dealers in general? Either way, I'm flattered."
He glances over, amused by that muttered confession. Seems like maybe Ichigo's not getting much. Or maybe just not as much as he'd like. "I'd say yes to you all the time and I'm definitely the hottest guy you know." Well... "Except maybe Grimmjow but just ignore that."
That's still not much of an answer. It might actually be even less of an answer than the first thing Ichigo said. He does know what Ichigo means, though, and he sighs about it. His nerves and everything else are a little too frayed around the edges to be couth. "Only one stopin' us is you." Ichigo probably already knows that, though, and he certainly doesn't need to hear it said aloud. What are they even doing to each other by spending this time together? Torture, that's what it is. Mutual, consensual torture.
His brows furrow, half in offense and half in confusion about how Ichigo went from asking if he needs to make himself scarce so Shiro can have his guy around to saying he couldn't care less about if it works out for Shiro or not. "Suuure," He drawls, "But you kinda just answered your own question. Who's gonna be around? Not you. Not your problem. And I don't need a babysitter, I don't need to be watched and looked after." Yes he does. That question's not a lecture but it sure does get the same point across. He knows Ichigo's disappointed in him. "Both, probably."
He snorts. "Not just bodies. You think I have two houses and five-" fuck. "four cars by movin' the same amount of product around? And no one looks twice. This thing is so boring it's like camouflage."
"Oh, you were bein' a smartass?" There's a heavy dose of sarcasm in his tone while he rolls his eyes. But it's good to hear that Ichigo is still thinking of his sisters in this. Ever the protector. Has to make sure his sisters are alright, had to interrupt his own life to make sure Shiro gets through this treat.
He smirks slightly about that. "What would it be about? What it's like runnin' around the streets doin' everyone else's dirty work?" He scoffs, but it's good natured. "Whatever, I'm not that hard to figure out. How to understand a back alley drug dealer for dummies." He laughs, amusing himself.
Aiming a look at Ichigo, he arches a brow and disagrees. "I always need a bunch a' guys saying yes to me. Preferably hot ones." Not that he's sleeping with his staff. He tried that exactly twice. The first time was disastrously annoying and it was not a fluke.
It is a fair question, and he wants to argue that, but Ichigo keeps going to answer the question anyway. "I wasn't asking what you think, I was asking exactly what I asked." But he got Ichigo's option anyway and it doesn't surprise him. He notes that Ichigo didn't actually say yes or no to wanting him there, though. He's talking around the answer the same way Shiro did about the shirt. "I already plan on laying low for a while. As much as I can, at least. I think I'll stay in the penthouse for a while. It's a lot safer than the mansion but it'll seem less like hiding." And he can higher some muscle to keep around easy enough, like Ichigo's suggesting, he's stubborn about it. He has always been his own muscle. He's never needed security or guards, but this is getting bigger than he can handle on his own. It's getting bigger than he thinks he warrants, but he has made himself notoriously hard to get rid of.
He doesn't know how to feel about Ichigo trying to keep him and his maybe-boyfriend situation intact. It's good of him, it's the morally right thing to do. The only real problem with it Shiro has is that it's just further proof that he and Ichigo have no chance of being together again. "I'll figure things out with him, you don't need to worry about it." Or he wont. Maybe he'll sabotage his own building relationship and blame it on all the chaos of attempted assassination. His features even out. "All my habits?" This better not turn into a lecture. "He thinks I indulge a little too much sometimes, but otherwise he tolerates it. I doubt he expected anything less from a dealer. Most people don't know I was ever clean, only you. It was always weird for me not to use the product I was sellin'."
He slides into the driver seat and starts the car, then looks over at Ichigo and snorts. "You mean boring?" He shrugs. "I needed something with more cargo space that didn't stand out so much. It's easier to clean, too. Less work for my cleaner."
#blacksun#tsp activity check#They really are a riot#It also sounds like Ichigo himself would have a hard time getting in unexpectedly and maybe that’s best.#ICHIGO YOU DUMMY YOU DON"T HAVE TO SNEAK IN YOU CAN JUST RING THE DOORBELL ALSKFJLSKDFJSLDKFJ
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How Life Insurance Works in the United States
How Life Insurance Works in the United States Life insurance is a type of insurance that pays a death benefit to a beneficiary when the insured person dies. It is a way to protect your loved ones financially in the event of your death. How Life Insurance Works in the United States Types of Life Insurance: There are many different types of life insurance available. Some of the most common types…
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#5 benefits of life insurance#best term life insurance#cash value life insurance#final expense insurance#health insurance#how does life insurance make money#How Does Life Insurance Work#how does life insurance work after death#how does life insurance work as an investment#how does life insurance work for dummies#how does life insurance work if you don&039;t die#how does term life insurance work#how insurance works#how life insurance works#how life insurance works in canada#How Life Insurance Works in the United States#Insurance#insurance agent#life insurance#life insurance 101#life insurance agent#life insurance agent explains#life insurance exam#life insurance explained#life insurance policy#life insurance sales#max funded life insurance#new life insurance agent#overfunded life insurance#permanent life insurance
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Absolutely not.
Cregan Stark x reader
Summary: Cregan isn't one for tradition.
Warnings: cursing, talks of sex, and consummating a marriage.
A/n: Based on this ask!
Masterlist
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"Absolutely not."
The maester sighed and brought a hand to his forehead, "I understand your hesitation, my lord, but the people have requested it."
Cregan let out a forced chuckle, "Ah, and I should let all of the North watch me while I fuck my wife. I think not."
"My lord, it is not ideal, I know-"
"They will learn their place," Cregan finally said as he put his foot down. "If they want a firm leader, then they must comply when he is firm."
Cregan began to walk away in a huff, but the maester followed behind, "It is common practice to have a witness to the consummation. So what if there are a few more than usual?"
" 'So what?' " Cregan paused in his step. " 'So what?' You believe I would let anyone in while I pleasure her? While she is vulnerable? If so, then you are a fool."
The maester opened his mouth, but Cregan had begun to walk away once more.
…
Cregan swung away at a practice dummy with a wooden sword as his betrothed sat a few feet away with a book in her hand.
"It's foolish, you know." Swing. "Thinking I would let them in." Swing. "Fuck the bedding ceremony." Swing. "Perhaps I will just not do it at all." Swing. "Show them that I set the rules." Swing. "If they wish it so badly, they may request it to my face." Swing.
She looked up from her book, "I didn't realize this bothered you so badly, my love."
He panted as he lowered his sword and looked to her, "And it does not bother you?"
"I suppose I haven't thought much about it. My entire existence it seems is to obey my lord husband."
"Even if I will that on you?"
"If he wants an audience of two, five, twenty." She shrugs, "If he wants to fuck me here in the courtyard- how can I refuse him?"
Cregan felt his jaw slack and the sword almost fall from his hand, "You believe so little in me?"
She sighs and sets her book down, "Do not put words into my mouth."
He dropped his sword and took steady steps towards her, "Do you believe that I would let such a thing happen? That I would let all of Winterfell see my wife so exposed?"
He grew closer, "That I'd hike up your skirt to an audience? To let them watch as I trace my hands across your smooth skin…"
Now at the bench she was seated at, he bent down and placed a hand on either side of her body, trapping her in with his face close and his voice quiet but firm, "…and let them see what is mine?"
She felt her breath escape at his proximity now, looking into his bright eyes. "Cregan-"
"-Wrong." One of his hands grabbed her chin to pull her face to him, "I'd never let that happen."
He pulled her face the rest of the way, connecting their lips.
She pulled away, "I am not yet your wi-"
"-Quiet," he growled as he connected their lips again.
His hands moved to her waist, pulling her up to stand. Hers wandered up his chest to his face.
He pulled away for a moment, as if remembering something, "Forgive me, love, I'm filthy-"
She placed her fingers over his lips, "I do not care."
He let out a breathy chuckle and a smile.
…
Donned in his cloak with the promise to be taken into the Stark house and under the Stark sigil, she and Cregan began to walk up to the chambers.
The bedding ceremony.
A group from the wedding followed behind, as per custom.
But as the two newly-weds neared the chamber, Cregan led her into the room and turned sharply in the doorway to glare at the others, "Well?"
One of them stepped forward, "My lord, the be-"
"I know my own customs," He snapped. "Why are you still here?"
"We're to-"
"Leave." He practically growled.
"My lord-"
The door slammed in their face.
…
No one was allowed in the room, but all could tell it had been consummated well by the sounds that echoed down the thick stone walls of Winterfell.
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#cregan stark x you#fanfiction#cregan x reader#cregan stark x reader#cregan stark#game of thrones x y/n#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones fanfiction#game of thrones#house of the dragon aemond#house of the dragon smut#house of the dragon fanfiction#house of the dragon
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Walks Around the Finger Lakes. Schuyler County. Color Wheels.
These bicycles are a nice bit of color in a time of brown and gray. Along a road winding up into the hills and the Finger Lakes Forest. A largely agricultural area north of Watkins Glen, now being “built up” with houses, summer cottages and of course, more wineries. And gift shops. I’d thought macramé plant hangers were finally extinct, but turns out, they were just tangled up somewhere…
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#bicycle#Don&039;t say dummy it makes the mannequins angry#Finger Lakes#FLX#New York#Upstate New York#Winter
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saying sorry 4 dummies
ஐ ft. childe, diluc, xiao
ஐ summary. how they say sorry in their own way after an argument!
ஐ warnings. none, SFW, fem!reader
childe
he stands at the doorway swallowing a little thickly at the sight of you unmoving from your spot on the couch, eyes glued to your book.
normally, you would bound over to him with a big smile and plant a kiss on his lips to welcome him home but the two of you are still in the recovering phase after an enormous fight, a fight that left a few scars and bleeding hearts.
“h-hi baby…um i got us some dinner!”
you look up at him with a little smile, “oh thanks, what’d you get?”
“i got us a whole peking duck and some veggie side dishes,” he states rather proudly holding up the bags for you to see.
“a pek- ajax that's so expensive?!” you gasp out standing from your spot on the couch, walking over to him peeking inside the plastic bags.
“yeah well…i don’ know,” he starts a little sheepishly, “i just wanted to have a nice meal with you after well…y’know…i just wanted to treat my girl, is all…”
you sigh before softly laughing, taking a to-go bag from him, “thank you,” leaning up to press a lingering kiss to his cheek, “it smells delicious. i'll set these up on some plates while you get ready?”
his eyes close at the feeling of your lips on his skin, feeling the gap the argument created between the two of you slowly begin to close. he nods wordlessly at your suggestion, not yet fully trusting his voice to sound steady, before hurrying into the bedroom to change and wash up.
you begin to set the table, putting plates and drinks at you and childe’s designated seating spots at the little round table across from each other.
coming back out from the bedroom, childe watches you for a second with soft eyes as you stand in the kitchen transferring the food onto big plates. walking towards you, he wraps his arms around your middle, pressing his chest firmly against your back while he rests his cheek against the crown of your head.
“honey, it's a little difficult to move with you pressing on me like this,” you voice, though you dont try to wiggle out of his hold, actually leaning back further into him.
he pouts to himself but doesn't move an inch until you're handing him a plate to take over to the table.
after all the food has been placed neatly in the middle, you both sit down in your usual spots.
glancing up at him you offer him a little appreciative smile, “thank you for dinner, babe, it looks really good!”
childe smiles at you and although you two have sat in this arrangement for ages now, he can't help but feel miles away from you. sliding his dinner plate and drink over to the chair next to you, you giggle at him knowing he’s feeling a little clingy.
“what are you doing, ajax?” you laugh at him
settling into the chair he places a hand on your thigh, his thumb lovingly caressing your skin, knees touching.
“just wanna be close to you, princess,” he shoots you his classic boyish grin before spooning some food onto his plate. gathering some duck and veggies and folding it all in the wrap, he holds it out to you.
“say ahhh”
diluc
he stares at the splayed pile of paperwork on his desk, words blurring and blending together while he sits, zoned out. his own mind torturing him by replaying your disappointed and upset expression over and over again. the argument was small, nothing more than a small frustrated spat between lovers. though, it affects diluc all the same.
diluc tried to fix it then, tried to apologize immediately at the sight of your downcasted eyes. But before he could get a word out, you mumbled that you needed some air and walked out the mansion, leaving him to stew in his own anxiety.
heaving a heavy sigh, he tosses the reports onto his desk and slumps back into the backrest of his chair, bringing a hand up to rub at his tired eyes. he just wants you to be home. wants you to be by his side and smiling at him and talking about your day with him. wants to hold you close and tell you he’s sorry for unloading any frustration and any stress onto you when you didn't deserve it.
a knock at his office doors breaks him out of his turbulent thoughts.
“come in…” he sighed, thinking it must be elzar coming in with something work related. however, when you quietly slip into his office, he immediately stands in surprise, the legs of the chair loudly scraping against the hardwood floors.
“darling-”
“i um…i just wanted to bring you something to eat.” you say softly, placing a little to-go box on his desk. “i know you probably haven't eaten yet today, so i thought i would bring you something after strolling around the city…”
coming around the corner of his desk, his heart melts at your simple yet caring gesture, “that's very kind, my love, thank you.”
“and um…” looking up at him a little shyly, “i just wanted to say im sorry for, well, earlier. i shouldn’t have gotten so upset and i shouldn’t have just left like that.”
“nonono, love,” hastily he closes the distance between you two, his hands coming up to rub at your shoulders, “you don't need to apologize. i’m the one who needs to be saying sorry. i shouldn’t have taken any sort of frustration out on you, you didn’t deserve that.”
giving him a small thankful smile, you reach up to press a sweet kiss to his lips which he happily reciprocates.
“to be honest, i don't know what we were even arguing about,” you whispered after pulling an inch away. he smiles and rests his forehead on yours, eyes closing to bask in your presence, “i don't either.”
heart two hundred times lighter than it was when you walked in, you pull away from him smiling, “well, i shall leave you to work then, ‘luc.”
catching your hand before you fully turn away from him, his face suddenly dusted a light pink.
“actually, darling, i was wondering if you wanted to stay? here in the office, i mean. with me. while i work.”
you look at him with amusement in your eyes as diluc ineloquently stumbles out his request, an extremely rare sight.
lacing your fingers with his, you step forward to plant a chaste kiss to his cheek, “i would love nothing more.”
xiao
his time with you is so short. he’s hyper aware of that fact. his time with you is too short to be wasted on arguments and silent treatments or have any kind of lingering tension. xiao doesn't have that much experience when it comes to dealing with humans or forming a relationship with one, much less a romantic relationship with one.
he shifts his weight from one foot to the other watching your figure walk across a shorter neighboring mountain top. he sighs to himself thinking back to earlier this morning when the two of you were engaged in a flurry of heated exchanges. xiao didn’t mean to take it as far as he did, didn't mean it like that when he called you weak, didnt mean to make you worry when he suddenly disappeared for a week straight. didnt mean to make matters worse when he had to leave abruptly in the middle of the argument because someone called his name.
“you could’ve at least given me some kind of sign! a note, a messenger, anything!” your voice becoming a little raised, your concern for him being overtaken by frustration.
“i didn't realize that that would be necessary,” he said lowly, patience quickly wearing thin.
“you were suddenly gone for an entire week! what else was i supposed to think other than the worst?”
“im not as weak as you!” he shot back, anger lacing his words.
“that’s not my even my point-” you tried to start before he continued.
“i’ve been doing this long before you even existed, i never thought i would have to report my every action to anyone!”
“xiao,” you sighed, hands coming up to roughly comb through your hair, “im your-”
he suddenly looks away, eyes alert like something else has grabbed his attention. he hesitantly glances at you and you realize someone must be calling his name. scoffing, your hands drop to your side as you turn away from him, “go.”
“y/n-” he sighed
“you need to go, right? go. ill be…” you loosely gesture to the space around you, “here. so, go.”
upon finishing up the errand that took him away from you, he now observes as you collect qingxin flowers most likely for a small commission to keep yourself busy. looking at the ground of the mountain top he currently stands, he notices an abundance of qingxin flowers and begins to collect a handful. he wants to apologize, he knows he needs to. it wasn't fair that you were left in the dark and if the situation was reversed, he knows he would’ve gone to the edges of teyvat to find you.
in the midst of picking a flower, a familiar haze of green smoke flashes before xiao appears in front of you.
“hi,” you say coolly, continuing to pick flowers while barely giving him so much as a glance, “what are you doing here?”
“i…” he hesitates not knowing how to proceed, “i thought i heard you call my name.” the tips of his ears flush red at his obvious lie.
you hum in acknowledgement, “i didn’t.”
“oh. well- here.” he thrusts the little bouquet of flowers towards you, “i thought i could help.”
looking at him and the flowers in surprise, you carefully take the bundle before putting it in your basket, “oh. thank you, that actually helps a lot.”
turning around to begin your descent down the mountain, xiao follows in silence.
“y/n, i…” he falters when you look at him, waiting for him to finish his thought.
his mouth opens and closes, his words failing him.
you sigh and look away for a brief moment before looking back at him with a soft expression, “its okay, xiao. i get it.”
“i'll do better,” he declares, those three words symbolizing all his thoughts. im sorry. i didn’t mean to. i’ll try harder next time.
you smile at him for the first time in what he feels like is ages, his shoulders finally relaxing.
“thank you,” you whisper to him before taking his hand in yours, “y’know, maybe i did call for you.”
his head snaps to yours, “you did?”
you look back at him with a teasing glint in your eye, “must’ve been missing you so much that my heart called out for you to hear.”
cheeks dusted pink, he nods his head in agreement.
#goji's.thots˚。⋆୨୧˚#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#childe#childe x reader#diluc#diluc x reader#xiao#xiao x reader#childe₊˚⊹♡#diluc₊˚⊹♡#xiao°ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
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spending a slow morning with wolfwood…
you can smell the coffee, you can hear eggs sizzling on the pan.
leaning against the doorframe, you let yourself have a moment to take in the sight before you. donning a simple white t-shirt, a pair of plaited boxer shorts and mismatched socks – you think he looks perfect. his hair is a proper mess and it gets only worse when he casually cards his hand through the dark locks; your fingers itch to do the same, to teasingly tug at the roots just to hear him go ‘a-ah!’ before softly pinching your side.
you can see the yellow strap around his neck and you smile to yourself; the thought of him grabbing the silly little apron you gifted him all on his own, without you having to beg him to put it on, is awfully endearing.
(though he always wears it with pride, he just really loves it when you cling to his side and stare up at him with your puppy-dog eyes, pleading for him to put the thing on with a small pout on your lips.)
wolfwood’s humming a quiet tone as he sways from side to side ever so slightly and you can’t wait any longer. tip-toeing across the floor, you make your way to him and wrap your hands around his middle the second he’s in your reach. he doesn’t jump, he doesn’t even flinch.
he just lets out a content little hum instead.
immediately, he melts into your touch – his shoulders slump as he grows just a tad smaller in order to get closer to you. the corners of his lips tug upward when he feels your fingers find their way under his shirt, gently ghosting over his sides and his stomach as you press yourself flush to him.
“good morning, sleepyhead.”a few octaves lower, way raspier than usual – his voice has your heart stuttering. you nuzzle your face into his back while giving him a squeeze and wolfwood rewards you with a chuckle. he knows exactly what expression you’re wearing without even having to look at you and he loves it.
he’s so warm against you and he smells so fucking good that your brain can’t help but conjure up an image of a human-sized cinnamonroll. you laugh into his shirt and wolfwood’s eyebrows shoot up, curiosity swimming in his mind as he tries to peer at you over his shoulder. “what’s so funny now, hm?”
“oh, nothing, nothing…”
he reaches behind him to ruffle your hair before turning back to his cooking. he takes a sip of his coffee and hums as if it’s the first time he’s drinking it. you feel the sound; it reverberates through his chest and comes out almost like a purr. you hug him a little tighter and press into him a little further.
and you stay there with him until he’s all done, waddling alongside him while he makes you a cup of coffee like you’re glued to him. he doesn’t complain.
wolfwood places the food and the mugs on the table and then guides you to your chair and it’s then when he finally lets out a proper laugh. “how are we supposed to eat like this, dummy?”
“but you’re so soft and so warm, wolfie…”
he forces down a coo at the sound of the silly nickname you’ve given him. with his big hands, he peels you from his back with little to no effort and sits you down behind the table.
oh…
still a bit groggy, with a few pillowlines still decorating your cheeks, you stare up at him with a sleepy smile on your face. and if that wasn’t enough to make his heart beat a little faster, the fact that you’re wearing his shirt will most definitely do the trick.
“you little thief…”
“hey, it belonged to just some guy, alright,” the little giggle you give him is almost enough to have his knees buckling from under him. wolfwood is a weaker man than he thought. “i’m sure he won’t mind…”
way weaker.
coffee, eggs and something sweet—
he reckons he's found his new favourite morning bite.
#hello new malewife hello new big cat husband#wolfwood#wtf mickey can write#wolfwood x reader#wolfwood fluff#nicholas d. wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood x reader#trigun x reader#trigun fluff#trigun stampede x reader#trigun stampede fluff
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Bruce broke his foot (again) and now someone needs to fill in as Batman. Who's donning the cowl and who's making calls to get off the planet so they don't have to do it?
Bruce: Casting calls are now live.
Duke, nervously getting onstage: Hi.
*microphone squeaks*
Duke: M-my name is Duke Thomas and I'm auditioning for the role of Batman.
Bruce: Show me what you got.
Duke: *clears his throat*
Duke, reading from a script: "Stop right there, Joker! Your days of evildoing have come to a—"
Duke: Actually, I have some notes. From a writer's standpoint, this reads less like the Dark Knight and more like a 60s sitcom.
Bruce: Next!
Selina: What better person to be Batman than the woman who has him wrapped around her finger?
Bruce: You know that's not how it works.
Selina: I've been practicing my quick change so I can be both of us in one fight. Come on, Bat. Can't bend the rules for the love of your life?
Bruce: I love you, but next!
Tim: I'm auditioning for the non-dictator Batman.
Bruce: Not taking any chances. Next!
Cassandra: *flips onstage in a series of elaborate acrobatics*
Cassandra: *beats the training dummy*
Bruce: Impressive. Now, I'll give you a scenario and you act it out as if you're Batman, okay?
Cassandra: *nods*
Bruce: A lost child walks up to you. What's the first thing you say?
Cassandra: You will make an excellent Robin.
Bruce: Yes—I mean, no. No. Next person, please.
Dick: I don't get why I have to audition. I mean, I was Batman.
Bruce: Hm, you're right. Let's give someone else a turn. Next!
Jason, in an improvised costume: I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...
Jason: *whips out guns*
*BANG BANG BANG*
Bruce: Next!
Stephanie: Can I try out?
Bruce: Sure, why not. Let's say you're negotiating a hostage situation. What do you say?
Stephanie: I'll give you Bruce Wayne's credit card if you let these people go.
Bruce: Next!
Barbara: I have programmed an advanced speaker system that will project your grunt from every gargoyle in the city.
Bruce: Grunting doesn't send people to Arkham. Next!
Damian: *walks in*
Bruce: No.
Bruce: Last one left is Kate.
Kate: Don't look at me, I'm just trying to find my keys.
Bruce, groaning: Patrol's in an hour. How am I gonna find a replacement?
Alfred: Master Bruce, perhaps I can substitute for you on the field.
Bruce: Thanks for offering, but I can't let you put yourself in danger like that.
Alfred: Then might I suggest, as Ms. Kyle said, bending one of your rules?
Bruce: Hm...
[later]
Joker: With a push of a button, I'm going to send this entire street sky high!
Clark dressed as Batman: Not if I can help it.
Joker: What is this, some sort of flying device?
Clark: Some changes were made.
Joker: Like what?
Diana, dressed as Batman: Like this.
Diana: *lassoes the Joker*
Joker: There's two of you?!?
Ollie, dressed as Batman, perched on a gargoyle: A little more than that.
Dinah, dressed as Batman: And we have some new tricks up our sleeve. Like this.
Dinah: *screams*
Arthur, dressed as Batman, bursting from the sewer: And this.
Arthur: *catches Joker in a whirlpool*
Hal, dressed as Batman, pointing his ring: And this.
Hal: *traps Joker in a ball*
J'onn, dressed as Batman: May I?
Zatanna, dressed as Batman: I want in too.
Hal: Okay, all of us on the count of three.
Everyone: *bounces Joker back to Arkham*
Barry, dressed as Batman: *runs in late*
Barry: Aw man, I missed it!
#how battle for the cowl would've gone if i wrote it#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#kate kane#alfred pennyworth#selina kyle#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#justice league#gotham rogues#incorrect quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#headcanon#tw violence mention
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Quick question for all the boys: what nickname would they give to their partner?
ALL?? OK BABE I GOT YOU. but like I can't do an "all" post again there's just too many now lol.
Underfell!Sans (Red): Babe (all), sweetheart (for the shy or introverted babes), doll/dollface (for the feisty babes)
Underfell!Papyrus (Edge): Love (but very sparingly, he’s not fond of nicknames):
Underfell!Wingding (Fell): My dear / My love / My other half / My heart (all emphasis on the my)
Underfell!Asriel (Prince): doesn’t use nicknames unless explicitly asked to. Might refer to you as partner / mate / spouse however.
Underfell!Grillby (Fellby): Sweet girl/boy/pup & Little firecracker.
Underswap!Sans (Blue): Not fond of nicknames but will occasionally call you his puzzle piece. If you ask him to call you something specific, he will.
Underswap!Papyrus (Stretch): Honey, honey bear, honey pie, spicy honey, and if he wants to be ornery / annoy others in public. . .honey bunny wunny.
Underswap!Wingding (Thread): My dear, my little patchwork, darling, marshmallow / cinnamon spice / pumpkin pie.
Underswap!Asriel (Buttercup): Dummy (affectionately). He gets embarrassed by nicknames.
Mafiafell!Sans (Hit): for feminine presenting partner: doll face, sweetheart, lil lady, cookie. For masculine presenting partner: pal, buzz, lil gent, dish. For neutral, mixture of both depending on his mood.
Mafiafell!Papyrus (Boss): He doesn’t do nicknames, per se, but instead waxes poetry for you about you in private. He’d also prefer it if you didn’t give him nicknames in public. Reputation is very important to him and his family and he expects you respect that.
Mafiafell!Wingding (Don): Muse, my dear, darling, puppet, marionette, toy
Mafiafell!Asriel (Heir): Meadow, my haven, my sunshine (if early riser) / my nightfall (if late sleeper)
Slumbertale!Sans (Slumber): Buddy, chum, pal, bucko, friend, fella who naps with me, pillow, blanket, kitten (if you nap often) / puppy (if you do not take naps often), the one who makes plans, my worser half (jokingly), my alarm clock, etc. He’ll come up with obscure and odd nicknames depending on your routine together.
Slumbertale!Papyrus (Mayor): MY RIGHT HAND! There is no bigger compliment because this fella HATES to rely on anyone so if you’re his right hand then you’re someone as invaluable to him as his own right hand.
Slumbertale!Wingding (Abyss): Dewdrop.
Slumbertale!Asriel (Unending): My dream come true, dreamer, buttercup, butterscotch, butter biscuit
Slumbertale!Grillby (Sleeby): His nickname will be dependent on your favorite drink. For example if you like pina coladas he’d call you his sweet coconut, and if you like soda he’d call you his pop-heart.
Horrortale!Sans (Axe): No nicknames unless you specifically tell him to. He just doesn’t think about it.
Horrortale!Papyrus (Sugar): My little meatball, Strawberry jam, rhubarb pie, my berry, love, heart, SOUL
Horrortale!Wingding (Ghost): my heart / our hope
Horrortale!Asriel (Yarrow): butterscotch, cinnamon bun, and sun drop
Horrortale!Grillby (Calcifer): no nicknames!
Reapertale!Sans (Reaper): Nothing set in stone. He'll come up with one time nicknames for puns. Like if you were burned alive & died to met him, he'd call you hot stuff. If you drowned he'd call you a mermaid with lungs. Things along those lines.
Sciencetale!Sans (Doc): he tried nicknames. It came out awkward because he kept stuttering and he was deeply embarrassed so he never did it again.
Sciencetale!Wingding (Professor): Treasure
Siren!Sans (Siren): That’s a human concept, so he wouldn’t choose any. You can tell him what you want him to call you and he’ll accommodate.
Siren!Wingding (Apex): Same as above.
Dustttale!Sans (Dust): Idiot, fool, daydreamer, dreamer, (and very rarely when he thinks you aren’t listening) my miracle
MASTERLIST (HCS & REQUESTED SCENARIOS)
#undertale#undertale au#underfell#underswap#mafiafell#slumbertale#siren sans#siren wingdings#horrortale#reapertale#dusttale#dust sans#sciencetale#hc#interactive fiction#jelly donut#iykyk
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Hoshina Soushirou | Sparring in the dead of night
genre: Fluff, slow burn, sexual tension. Pairing: hoshina x fem summary: y/n was training alone one night when Hoshina noticed the door was ajar. As they sparred together, they sensed a deeper tension between them. a/n: I honestly wanted to just write about how y/n licked the blood coming from her nose off smexily. So the ending might not be smooth. Petnames: doll, sweetheart. WC: 1.8k
“Fuck” you exclaimed. You didn’t dodge in time when a kick landed on your gut.
“Too slow,” Hoshina said, with a smug grin, begging to be punched off. At least that’s what you have been trying to do the past hour…
Hoshina slowly circled me. “Focus up y/n. Or not the next kick will end up not just on your stomach.”
[☆]
Y/n is a highly skilled recruit with extensive combat experience, having been trained in self-defense from a young age, and taught by her military father. Hence, earning her a top position among few recruits in her platoon, with exceptional combat abilities.
During the recruitment exam, when you donned the combat tech suit, your unreleased combat power was 11%—notably higher than the average recruit entering the defense force.
However, ever since you joined the Third Division, you couldn’t help being competitive and insecure about your strength.
During the third phase of the recruitment exam, you realized the huge gap between you and this year’s recruits in terms of strength, skill, and experience in neutralizing kaijus.
Having to compete against other recruits who had studied years of Kaiju neutralization before entering the Defence Force. Not to mention having a current unreleased combat power of 18%. Days go by as you watch your colleagues get stronger every day while you feel yourself falling behind.
What’s worse is that you’re not the only one who noticed this. Recently, the vice-captain had been pushing you harder during drills. “y/n! Three more laps!”
Under Vice Captain Hoshina’s piercing gaze, nothing escapes his sight.
[☆]
Hence why you have been staying up late at night to practice. Every night when everyone had already gone to bed, you silently make your way to the training room. Tonight was like any other, with you absorbed in your sparring session with a dummy, venting your frustrations.
Deeply lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the training room door was slightly ajar.
“Oho, working hard I see.” you got startled by your Vice Captain’s voice out of nowhere. You turned around to see him leaning against the doorframe.
“Sleeping’s part of the job too ya know,” Hoshina said, wearing his usual coy expression.
“Jesus Christ. You can’t just sneak up on me like that! How long have you been standing there??”
He chuckled. “Long enough to see that you could use some extra help.”
He slowly strolled towards me, hands deep in the pockets of his jacket.
You narrowed your eyes. “Please, enlighten me,” you said.
“First off, your form is wrong. You need to widen your standing stance and strike low to get a more powerful punch.” He smiled, slyly. Then he pushed your feet back using his leg. “Try it.”
You stare at him for a moment, processing his words, before getting into his stance and following through. BAM! The dummy flew backward.
You raised your eyebrows. “I can’t believe his advice actually worked.”
Hoshina whistled. “Nice one y/n. “
"Now.” He added with a sly grin, “Would you like me to show you more ‘extra help’?”
He said as he unzipped his jacket, revealing a tight shirt underneath that barely left anything to the imagination. His biceps strained against the arms of his shirt, emphasizing his broad shoulders, now visible without his baggy jacket. He stretched his arms as he stalked over, a glimpse of skin peeked out from under his shirt.
“Shall we begin?”
And that’s how it led to both of you sparring in the dead of the night.
[☆]
You doubled over, the pain radiating through your entire midsection. You could still feel the rush of air escaping from your lungs where he kicked you.
You tried to walk it off, refusing to let him see how much it hurt.
“Oho. Acting strong now? Not bad though, I will give you that. Ya have a strong gut. Usually, with that kick, my opponents would be sent backward like that dummy.”
You clicked your tongue against your teeth. “Fuck o—”
“I suggest you not to finish that y/n. Unless you want to end up like your colleague Furuhashi. He had to do 100 push-ups cuz’ of that.” He warned sternly. However, despite the tone of his voice, his expression said otherwise. His eyes glinted with amusement, and his grin widened menacingly.
We slowly began to circle one another, refusing to back down from the other. Our eyes locked in a deadly stare-off, beckoning the other to move first.
Tick. Tick. Tick. In silence, the clock on the wall ticks every second.
Once the second-hand clock struck midnight, both of you surged forward simultaneously. You unleashed a series of calculated strikes, testing your opponent's defenses. Your punches were swift, but Hoshina matched your move for move, deflecting each blow with precision and practiced ease.
Feeling a surge of frustration, you switched tactics, got down, and swiped your leg over Hoshina’s legs. Unfortunately, Hoshina has fast reflexes and jumps in time to avoid your attack.
As soon as you stood back up, he feinted a low kick before aiming a high roundhouse toward your head at lightning speed.
You couldn’t counter in time.
In a split second, your world exploded into pain as a powerful kick crashed into your temple. The impact sent shockwaves through your skull, and you felt liquid warmth trickling down your face.
You staggered back, stunned by the force of the blow. Blood streamed from your nose, splattering on the mat below. You blinked rapidly, trying to clear your vision. Through your blurry vision, you caught a flicker of hesitation in Hoshina's eyes before he closed in, seizing the advantage.
“As a recruit, you should always be on alert and ready for surprise attacks.” He says, throwing another punch.
Gritting your teeth against the pain, you raised your guard, blocking another aim at my midsection. You struggled to regain your footing, your head still spinning from the blow. Every movement felt sluggish, your body protesting the punishment it had endured.
You staggered back again and wiped off some blood from your upper lip with your thumb. Your eyes flickered down at your bloodied thumb. Then you chuckled before locking eyes on Hoshina, swiping your tongue to lick the blood off your upper lip. “Playing dirty are we, Vice Captain?” you grinned.
Hoshina froze, his eyes locked on the blood on your lips. Unbeknownst to you, his mind raced with several thoughts, his heart pounding faster. No matter how deeply he breathed, it felt like you were stealing all his air. Slowly, warmth crept into his cheeks.
“Fuck, I need a cold shower after this,” he thought, unable to tear his gaze away from you.
He snapped out of his thoughts and refocused on you.
Fortunately for him, despite his internal turmoil, his expression remained nonchalant.
You lunged at him once more. He countered with a punch, but this time, you swiftly dodged and side-stepped. With a surge of determination, you used his forward momentum and threw him over your shoulders.
You quickly straddled his hips and held onto his wrists, pinning him down on the mat.
You breathed heavily down at him, still feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
I stared down at him, his usual fox-like eyes widened with shock.
“What was that you said? As a Vice Captain, you should always be on alert and ready for surprise attacks. You should start showing an example Vice Captain Hoshina.” I grinned smugly.
A moment of surprise wrote on his face before his face became blank. An indifferent expression with a slight tilt at the end of his lips.
“HUHH? There was barely any force in that throw! And you finally landed a hit on me the past two hours.” His eyebrows furrowed.
“Pshaw. I would still take it as an improvement.” I smirked.
“Doll, if you want bigger improvements, I would suggest training more. Maybe with me, privately.” Hoshina said, lowering his voice on the last part as his warm hands gently wrapped around mine.
“W-what?” You said softly, warmth rushed to your face.
He effortlessly pushed you up and sat up as if your weight pinning him down meant nothing. In that brief moment, with his face mere centimeters from yours, you could have sworn his eyes flickered down to your lips. His hands gripped your hips momentarily... before gently pushing you off and rising to his feet. Bending down, he extended his hand to help you up.
“I meant that you can always come to me if you want to train. My door is always open,” he said, raising an eyebrow and stifling a chuckle at the sight of your flushed cheek.
“Yeah I knew that,” you mumbled.
A moment passed before you realized you were still holding his hand. Embarrassed, you tried to pull away, but he swiftly grabbed your hand back and pulled you toward him. His free hand cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him.
Your eyes widened in shock, but when you met his gaze, you saw his crimson eyes were just as wide.
Before he realized what he was doing, he reached for your hand, grieving the lost warmth as he interlocked his fingers with yours.
He cursed silently in his head.
As you stare deep into his crimson eyes, you feel a mixture of nervousness and excitement. The intensity of his gaze is captivating you, making it impossible to look away. You feel the rest of the world fade away as time seems to stand still, leaving just the two of you in this moment.
His grip on your hand tightens slightly, and you can feel the warmth radiating from his skin, sending shivers down your spine. The air between you crackles with an unspoken tension, and for a fleeting second, you wonder if he feels it too.
His thumb reached up to rub the blood off your lips, lingering there for a moment.
"How is your head? Is it still in pain?" he asked softly.
"Y-yeah I'm okay." You stammered. "I'm kind of getting headache now though." you added as you narrowed your eyes at him.
Hoshina chuckled lowly. "My bad doll. I swear I didn't mean to hit you that hard! I'm sorry."
He removed a strand of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear. His hand stayed there and gently rubbed your cheek, as if to apologise.
The intensity of his gaze mixed with your anxiousness got to you, so you turned your head away.
“Look at me, sweetheart,” he said softly, in a gentle command.
You followed the force of his hand as he tilt your head back to him. “If…you keep looking at me like that,” you mumbled. “You might make me think that you actually like me.”
He paused for a moment, hesitating to say his next few words.
It made you wonder if you had spoken out of turn, if this wasn't what you had imagined.
“Y/n, I—”
RINGGG
Suddenly, a burst of alarm interrupted him.
“A kaiju alert,” he said. “Couldn’t come at a better time than this..” he sighed as he looked back down at you.
“Let’s continue this after the mission, shall we, Doll?” he said.
“As long as you promise to stay alive instead of sacrificing yourself.” You said, raising your eyebrows at him.
“For you, I will.” He said as he smiled softly.
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