#drinking a diet coke rn
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no I love how you practically went “yeah soap and Gaz will wine and dine you, price will straight up take you, and ghost? you won’t even see his ass once and poof you’re in his basement xoxo”
abo tf141 kidnapping drabble when
-👑 drink food eat water you are loved
abo tf141 kidnapping drabble NEVER because there's way too many dynamics to juggle in a full fic for me lmao
ghost is a damn SNEAKY mf, you think you're seeing him if he doesn't want you to??? nah, he catches a whiff of your scent and he's got you knocked out and tucked away before you know he exists. horrible evil man, just absolutely no concern for courting 😤
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Holiss mi niña
Te puedo pedir un🥤 y 🌅, si es q no te han preguntado todavía.
Te adoro mi vida 💕💖💕💖💕
handwritten asks game ✏
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no moisturizer and dry face or yes moisturizer and greasy face its a lose lose why cant we just secrete soap or smth
#lotion on my face 5 injured 19 killed#i think im losing my mind rn but only kinda#why do people say 'lemme see if i CANT do this' instead of 'lemme see if i CAN do this' it doesnt make sense to me but ig its correct way??#im not even fucked up ive literally only had a diet coke to drink#yk whats ironic? lye is used to make soap but raw lye is acidic and has an extreme reaction to water lmao
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ive never seen a skinny person drink diet coke
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DIET COKE IS GOOD YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN
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youll never guess who woke up severely dehydrated again
#i need to drink more water#im surviving off diet coke rn#i dont think ive GLANCED at a waterbottle in the past week#<-that was a joke pls#i drink water i swear
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walking outside while having a mental breakdown is quite a low to reach
#not even hiding it LMAO. i hate everything 👍#like i dont even pretend to be normal im *this* tired . best case scenario someone sees how bad im doinf and puts me out of my misery#rn im listening to lana swl rey drinking diet coke mascara tear stains on my cheeks. TUMBLR GIRLS WOULD GO CRAZY ABOUT ME HAD I BEEN A#FICTIONAL CHARACTER...anyways. doing everythkng in my power not to binge .#placeholder tag
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im at a party right now and theres this woman who's standing next to me and speaking at a frequency that I SWEAR is going to BREAK MY EARDRUMS
#also all they have to drink is diet coke#not a vent post but im having a less than good time rn#also the person i came here with is kind of calling me an asshole for being overstimulated#but its fine lol! shit happens but it'll pass :)c
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TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.
chapter six:
<last chapter> <next chapter>
➴ chapter warnings: nsfw (masturbation (f. receiving), praise kink, fingering, dacryphilia, overstimulation, softdom quinn).
➴ word count: 4.6k
💌 from me to you: i’m sorry if this is terrible. wrote a line and then took a 30 minute break every time but hey! i’m trying my best!!! also thank u soooo much for 300+ followers i love all of u so much i hope u can feel the forehead kiss i’m giving u rn 😚 enjoy!
౨ৎ
2024, APRIL.
THE ARENA was packed with people, most of them wearing the Canucks jersey.
It was game night, and Quinn made sure you and Victoria had tickets, with the view you had asked for— perfectly near the Canucks players.
“Brock looks amazing,” Victoria whispered in your ear, and you giggled. “No, like, seriously.”
You wanted to tell her that you weren’t looking at anyone but Quinn. He was standing there, wearing his jersey and throwing the puck around while skating with Miller by his side. He looked stressed, but you knew that he always got anxious before a game.
You debated a lot about coming or not, even if Quinn had been the one to invite you and even if you weren’t exactly known for telling him no. But lately, every time he texted or called, you felt your hands getting sweaty, your heart beating faster and your stomach filling itself up with butterflies.
Everything that you swore you would never let happen again.
“Do you think they’ll win?” Victoria asks you, shoving a handful of popcorn inside her mouth.
“They’re on a winning streak so maybe?” You shrug. “I’m terrible with sports.”
“Ain’t that right,” she laughs. “The only thing that makes hockey interesting are the hot players.”
“And the fights,” you add, munching on your Snickers bar. “I love when they take off their gloves and start punching each other.”
“To me that also categorizes as a hot thing.”
“Fair point.” You nod.
The game went by in a blink of an eye, which surprised you. You thought that because you weren’t really interested in hockey, it would suck to sit there for two hours and watch men skating around, throwing a puck here and there. But by the end of it, you were sweaty and tired from all the screams you let out whenever someone from the other team got in the Canucks way.
You and Victoria got out of your seats, chatting about the game and how happy you both were because the Canucks had won 4-2. Quinn had scored two goals and you were ready to engulf him in a bear hug.
“I think they’re changing but we can wait at the VIP section,” Victoria suggests, walking you through the place like she owned, which was one of the things you loved the most about her; her confidence. “I hope they have snacks and hot dogs.”
“It’s a VIP room, baby, not a restaurant,” you laugh, secretly hoping for the same.
“Either way, I hope there’s food there, I’m starving.”
“We just ate a bowl of popcorn, chocolate and a family sized bag of Ruffles.” You point out, patting your belly over your shirt. “Plus the Coke.”
“It was diet, so it doesn’t really count,” she taps her temple with her index finger. You laugh, doing the same. “Girl math.”
The VIP section was, in fact, full of food. And drinks. And players' wives, girlfriends, families and friends. You felt like a fish out of water but sucked it up either way, texting Quinn and telling him you were waiting for him.
It took a while for him to get there, thirty minutes to be precise, but you knew that the games’ after hours weren’t exactly a chocolate covered strawberry, and with Quinn being the captain, he had to answer dumb questions and talk to interviewers.
But then, Garland opened the door and started yelling about the winners being in the area, which made you laugh.
“Hey, there, cutie,” he smiled at you, wrapping his hands around your shoulders. “Missed that pretty face. Did you see me out there? Nailed it.”
“Yeah, I guess,” you smile awkwardly. “Congratulations?”
“Boo, you didn’t even try to sound excited.” He childishly pouts, poking your cheeks.
“That’s because you’re not exciting, C,” Quinn’s raspy voice fills the air, and it’s almost palpable how all the attention in the room immediately goes to him. “Get your hands off her, come on.”
“Aye, aye Cap.” He kisses your cheek before leaving you alone, dragging Victoria with him.
You don’t even think about helping her because all you can see is Quinn standing in front of you, wearing a burgundy suit with his wet hair falling down his face. He looks so fucking good.
Cocking your head, you smile sweetly at him. “Hi, Cap,”
“Hey there, Mads,” he leans down, kissing your cheek lightly.
You think for a second before standing on the tip of your toes and wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling his hand find your waist instantly, like a magnet.
“Congrats on the win,” you whisper, not really wanting to let go. “You played really well.”
“Yeah?” He whispers back, pushing you away just so he could see your face. He smiles. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” you sigh, letting him go. Looking around the room, you notice that some people were staring at the two of you, and you blush. Right, you remind yourself, we’re not alone. “Hum. Wanna go eat something?”
“Yeah, I could eat,” he shrugs, looking around. “At home, though.”
“You’re inviting me over?” You chuckle, running your fingers through your hair.
“I am, yes.” He nods.
The little Madisons inside your brain start running around, pushing the danger button again and again while yelling “abort mission!” to each other, but you’re still human, and weak in the flesh.
“We can pick Bella up, if you want,” he offers, putting his hands inside his pockets.
“There’s no need to, she’s at my neighbor’s house,” you tell him. “She befriended Buttercup, Mrs. Fernandez cat, and now she asks me to let Bella stay there whenever I have to come home late.”
“Smart girl, isn’t she?” He checks the time on his watch, and makes a tsc noise with his mouth. “If we go now we’ll still catch my favorite pizza place open.”
“Greasy pizza for dinner? Isn’t that all models’ dream?” You joke, watching as he laughs softly.
“Quinn,” someone calls him, making him frown.
“I’ll be back in a second,” he sprints to the other side of the room, talking with another man wearing a suit.
You could see Victoria in the other side of the room between Garland and Boeser, looking like she was having the time of her life. She looked like the ice cream part of an ice cream sandwich, the thought making you cover your mouth with your hand to hide your laugh.
Quinn really didn’t take long, walking back to you and placing his hand on your lower back, like he always does.
The drive to his place was long and tiring, but you managed to make it faster with your remarks about the game. And Quinn listened to you, replying only when you were laughing so hard you couldn’t continue speaking.
Quinn’s house was still the same as the last time you’d been there, which felt like a lifetime ago. The three bedroom house was still only furnished with basic furniture, no pictures besides one with his family from when he got drafted.
���Can I shower while you order the food? I think I’m disgusting.”
“Not really. You still smell like a vanilla sundae to me, but sure.” He answers mindlessly while he taps on his phone, probably dialing the pizzaria’s number.
You shower in the same bathroom you showered the last time you’d been there and when you leave, you find Quinn’s clothes on the bed, also like last time. You smile, putting on his weirdly oversized shirt and boxers, leaving the shorts exactly where they were because you knew that they wouldn’t fit you anyway— and the shirt covered Quinn’s new boxers just fine.
You walked back to the living room, finding Quinn standing in the middle of it, with the TV on, watching the game from just hours ago.
“You played well,” you start, sitting on his couch with your legs crossed.
“Thank you,” he smiles, pointing at the unopened red wine bottle sitting on his coffee table. “Thought we should celebrate.”
“Are you kidding me? Of course we should!” You jump out of the couch, headed to his kitchen cabinets looking for wine glasses. “Uh. I just remembered I don’t know where your things are.”
You open the cabinet either way, mentalizing that it shouldn’t be so hard finding two glasses of wine. Only to hear Quinn’s low chuckle, and his body behind yours— his right hand holding you down by your waist and the other one reaching for the glasses inside the cabinet on your left.
“I like to keep them out of my own reach,” he jokes, but you don’t even think about laughing.
Not when his crotch is perfectly aligned with your ass, his hand hot and steady on your waist, his hard chest brushing your back. It’d been brief, only enough time for him to reach the glasses and pick them up, but it’d been enough for you to feel all over the place again.
“Maddie?” He calls you, and you realize you have been standing there for a few seconds now.
“Oh, right,” you smile awkwardly and walk back towards the living room.
While Quinn poured both of you wine, you contemplated what you should do.
Well, fuck my childhood best friend isn’t a thing I should do, you remind your stupid brain, who sometimes liked to conjure images of what fucking Quinn Hughes would look like for you.
The risk of fucking everything up was high and the risk of falling in love with him was even higher. Quinn wasn’t a hard person to love, and with the way he treated you? The way he was ready to hand you anything on a silver plate? It would be like breathing underwater. Impossible.
Thankfully, your mood didn’t take too long to recover, and after an entire bottle of wine and three slices of pizza, you were back at it.
“The worst thing is,” you started, helping Quinn tidy the kitchen and putting away the dirty dishes. “One of the girls sitting next to us was extremely obsessed with you. I swear, she spent the entire two hours shouting your name even when you weren’t there.” You laugh, remember how Victoria threatened to smash her head against the glass.
“I get that a lot and I already told you, I don’t get the appeal,” he shrugs, placing the remaining pizza slices inside a container and tossing it inside his fridge. “Plus, I’m not interested in puck bunnies. They’re not really my thing.”
You gasp, making Quinn stop what he was doing to stare at you. “Does Quinn Hughes have a type?”
“That’s not what I—”
“You do!” You gently place the wine glasses inside of the dishwasher, closing it afterwards. “What is it?”
He laughs, closing the fridge door. “Madison, I don’t have a type.”
“Of course you do. So that’s why you’re one of the few hockey players I know that rarely makes it to dating gossip websites.”
“You’re being insane.”
You shush him with your hand.
“Let me think,” you tap your chin with your index finger, really putting your brain to work. “Okay. Maybe you’re like Jack who’s into musically inclined blondes?”
“No?” He raises his eyebrow. “And since when does Jack—”
“Okay, then maybe you’re like Luke and like frat girls?”
“That doesn’t even sound legal. I’m twenty five.”
“You’re twenty four, we’re not in October yet,” you remind him, trying to think of other types of girls. “What about redheads—”
He gently places his hands on each side of the counter, locking you in place. He cocks his head. “Why is it so important for you to know who I’m into or who I’m not?”
“I just think it’s funny,” you bite your tongue, contemplating what you were about to say. But fuck it, right? You could blame it all on the alcohol later, even if you weren’t even tipsy. “Perhaps fifteen year old me would like to know if she’d have a chance with you.”
He frowns. “Fifteen year old Madison? Not a fucking chance. You were a child.”
“Boo, you’re no fun,” you roll your eyes. “If you don’t think I’m pretty just say that.”
He rolls his eyes again, mimicking your action.
“I didn’t say that,” he clicks his tongue, blue eyes looking down at you, moving around your face. “Ask me what I think about twenty-two year old Madison.”
You gulp, tilting your head back and staring at him in the eye.
Danger, mayday, Madison, get the hell out of there.
“What,” you whisper, licking your lips mindlessly. “What do you think of twenty-two year old Madison?”
“I think you’re perfect,” he whispers back, stepping closer to you, forcing your head to tilt back again so you could maintain eye contact. “I still think you’re the sweetest person to ever walk on Earth, and I’m going insane over the fact that you’re this close to me and I can’t fucking move a finger.”
His statement shocks you, making your eyes double in size. “Quinn—” you start, but he shakes his head.
“Ever since you got back here, ever since I saw you again after fucking seven years,” he steps away from you, running his fingers through his hair in a frustrated move. “You’re— God, you’re everything and you don’t even realize it.”
“I— Well,” you stutter, not even sure of what you could say. Hey, funny story, I want you to kiss me, like, right now.
“You wear my shirt like you’re proud to, you kiss my cheek every time we say goodbye to each other, you drive me absolutely crazy because I know you don’t care about yourself enough,” he calls you out, and you look somewhere else, embarrassed. “But the worst part is watching other guys lick the floor you walk on and not being able to do anything. The even worse part is looking at your lips whenever you wear those glittery lipstick things and not being allowed to kiss the hell out of you.”
“Quinn,” you breathe, leaving the kitchen like you couldn’t stand there anymore, pacing around his living room back and forth. “You shouldn’t be telling me this. We cannot—”
“We cannot what?” He walks towards you, only stopping when you’re toe to toe with each other. “Tell me you don’t want this, Maddie, and I’ll stop. I’ll pretend I never said anything and we’ll just be friends. But fuck,”
“We can’t do this,” you shake your head. “We’re friends. We cannot ruin everything just because we want to fuck each other.”
He smirks. “I never said anything about fucking.”
You feel your cheeks getting warm, and you bite your lips, hiding a smile.
“This is a bad idea. You know that, right?” You whisper, placing your hands on his chest. “Like, a really bad idea.”
“We’re both grown and it seems that we both know what we want,” he mumbles back, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear and holding your chin up. “Do you want this, Maddie?”
Realistically speaking, you’ve been wanting this ever since you realized you could like Quinn as something more than just your best friend. You’ve been wanting this ever since you realized that no one would ever treat you as good as Quinn did. You’ve been wanting this ever since you saw him again for the first time in seven years, looking gorgeous and extremely, dangerously hot.
You do want this, more than you’ve ever wanted anything else. But things could get complicated and… losing Quinn wasn’t something you were interested in doing.
“I don’t want to lose you,” you whisper, watching as his chest goes up and down beneath your palms. “I can’t lose you. If this goes wrong, then, then—”
“Madison,” he kisses your forehead, interrupting you. “Do you want this?”
“More than anything,” you confess. It was true, and even if you lied, Quinn knew you like the back of his hand.
Or at least he used to.
You weren’t prepared for how his lips would feel against yours. Or how he’d place his hands on your lower back. Or how his kiss would feel urgent and needy, making you whimper inside his mouth. Quinn kissed you like he was hungry for something only you could give him, making your knees weak and your breath quicken, the fabric of his shirt feeling soft under your touch.
You ran your hands through his hair, moaning with pleasure because you had finally gotten what you wanted. And just like your predictions, his hair felt soft, with you gently running your hands through his scalp.
You broke the kiss, gasping for air and resting your forehead against his.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you mumble, inhaling his sandalwood scent. “We’re friends, Quinn.”
“I know. And I still want you just the same,” he grips on your waist, hard. You were sure that it would leave a mark on your skin and just the thought of it made you go crazy. “And there’s no going back now, baby.”
The pet name slipped past his lips, the lips you’d kissed so bruisingly just a few seconds ago, making you whimper involuntarily. The wetness between your thighs was just a tiny hint of how much you actually wanted him.
“Let me help you out, hm?” He kisses your lips again, his stubble scratching your face lightly, making you remember where you were, what you were doing and with whom. “Let me make you feel good, Maddie.”
“Please,” You plead, trying to even your own voice. You sounded needy and helpless, but you had too many things going on inside your head at the same time for you to actually start acting like yourself again.
He only hums in response, showering your face with kisses while he guides you to his huge, brown couch. He sits down first, opening his legs and looking up at you, his lustful eyes never leaving yours.
“If you want me to stop, Maddie, just tell me, and I will,” seriously, he reminds you, kissing the tip of your finger. “I don’t care how much I’m enjoying what we’re doing, if you want me to stop, you say so.”
“M’kay,” you whisper, nodding with your head.
He mimics your action and moves on with his hands, removing your— his— boxers, slowly pulling them down, until they meet the floor with a soft thud. Then he helps you remove your legs from the holes, the right first and then the left, his big, warm hands on your thighs making you feel wetter.
He pats the spot between his legs, silently asking you to sit there, with your back against his chest, your head resting against his shoulder.
He gives you goosebumps as he slowly trails a path down your neck with his lips, making a wet sound whenever his mouth touches your burning skin. His hands keep going up and down your thighs, slowly lifting your— again, his— shirt to expose half of your belly and your most intimate part for him.
“Place your heels on the edge of the couch, pretty.”
You couldn’t help but feel your face burn with embarrassment as you did what he said, sliding your feet apart until your legs were spread wide apart. Sex had always been something boring to you and you preferred to do anything else other than let a guy fuck you.
But with Quinn things were already so different. You felt close to him, not only because you were literally on his arms, sitting between his legs, no. Truth be told, Quinn already owned your heart, and getting him to touch you like this was heavenly, but also extremely embarrassing.
You moan as his right index finger runs up and down through your slit, barely touching your clit.
“You’re so wet, baby,” his whispers, voice filled with desire, making you shiver inside his arms. “Who got you so worked up?”
“You,” you breathe. “You did, Quinn.”
“Mhm, that’s right, aren’t you just so sweet, baby?” He chuckles, inserting one finger inside your pussy, making you involuntarily try to close your legs, only to have his left hand holding them apart. “Do you think you’re sweet all over?”
“Quinn.”
He thrusts his finger inside you, finding your spot almost immediately, the wet sound of sex helping the blush on your face grow. Then, after teasing you for a while, he removes himself from you, bringing his index to his mouth, licking the wetness away.
Your face was burning, you wanted to run away and never come back, and it was even worse when you caught the slightest hint of a smile on his face.
“You are,” he whispers, tightening the hold on your thigh and inserting his finger in your hole again, only to take it out after a while. “See it for yourself.”
You were going to die. That was it. Here lies Madison Carter, the girl who thought she could handle Quinn Hughes.
“Open your mouth for me, baby,” he instructs, his raspy tone reaching your ears and making your stomach warm. You slowly part your lips, wrapping them around Quinn’s finger, tasting yourself for the first time in your life. And maybe it was just the power of his words inside your mind, or maybe you were too horny to think correctly but if you closed your eyes and searched inside of your taste buds for a minute, you’d actually see that— it was, indeed, sweet. “Good job, baby.”
You whimper around his finger. Quinn slips two fingers inside your pussy, with little to no resistance with how wet you were. His fingers start up a quick finger fucking that echoes wetly in the living room, making your eyes roll to the back of your head, your cheeks wet with tears you didn’t even know you’d shed.
He’s fast, his palm touching your swollen, needy clit every time he thrusted his fingers into your hole, making you moan loudly, not even caring about the late hours. Your left hand grabs Quinn’s left arm, probably hurting him with how strongly you were holding him but you didn’t care—
You had always been easily overwhelmed and with how much Quinn had teased you, you knew you wouldn’t last long.
“Quinn, I— fuck,” your words get interrupted when you feel a third finger trying to get past your tight entrance, a loud moan coming out of your mouth when it succeeds. The stretch making your pussy hurt so freaking good, tears decorating your face like paintings in museums.
Quinn curls his fingers inside of you, making you slightly lift your hips, surprised with how much pleasure he could give you with just three fingers.
“I’m close, oh my god, Quinn, I’m—” overwhelmed with thoughts of QuinnQuinnQuinn, you sit back on the couch, once again trying to close your legs, and, once again, being unsuccessful.
“You can take it, baby, come on, give me what I want.” He shamelessly opens your legs more, thumb sliding left to right on your clit, making you gasp and whimper incoherent words, babbling nonsense that not even the smartest people in the world could comprehend.
When you came, it was like all of your worries went away, the weight in your shoulder ten, a thousand times lighter. You were crying and you probably looked like a mess, but thinking that Quinn’s responsible for getting you like this only makes you happier.
He didn’t stop fingering you, though, overstimulating your clit until the very last minute; until he had you crying loudly and screaming in his arms.
“Sh, baby, you can take it,” he kisses your wet cheek, slowly stopping his fingers. “Tell me, baby, you can take it.”
You hiccup, trying to hide yourself inside his arms.
“Say it, sweets, and I’ll let you go.”
“I— I can take it.” You whisper, voice hoarse and tired.
“Good girl,” he removes his fingers from your pussy, promptly sliding them inside your mouth, again. You didn’t need instructions this time, you just did what you knew he wanted you to, licking his fingers clean until there was nothing but your saliva on them. “You’re perfect.”
He tilts your head to the side, kissing your lips and brushing his tongue against his.
“How are you feeling, love?” He asks after he breaks the kiss, calmly covering you with your shirt again, wiping your tears away with his left hand.
Love.
“Like I’m made of cotton candy,” you smile tiredly, resting your head against his shoulder. You can feel his body moving as he softly laughs, wrapping his hand around your waist and pulling you closer. “Wanna stay here forever.”
“Sleep here tonight,” he offers, and kisses your cheek again. “I have tomorrow off.”
“Well, I don’t,” you chuckle, remembering that you had to be up early in the morning. “Besides, I have my daughter waiting for me at home.”
He laughs, nodding. “Fair point. Then let me take you home?”
“Yeah,” you agree, only to snuggle closer to his body. “Let’s go.”
You end up napping for about thirty minutes before he wakes you up and hands you another change of clothes, helping you change before he wraps his jacket around you and places a Canucks beanie on your head.
“You can never be warm enough.” He says before opening the door, letting you leave first.
On your way home, inside the warmth of his car, you thought about what this would mean to your friendship. Friends with benefits sounded childish, icky, and not something you were looking forward to. And you weren’t lying to Conor when you told him that you weren’t looking for someone.
Even if that someone was Quinn.
“I can hear you thinking.” He jokes, making you giggle.
“I’m sorry, I just— how do we act now?” You finally say, turning your head to the side and watching his side profile.
“You told Conor you aren’t looking for anyone right now.”
“I did.”
“Well,” he starts. “I’m not saying this because I want you to make a decision or anything like that. But,” he sighs. “I’m not the type of guy who will make arrangements to fuck you during the weekends and move on with my life on the week days.”
You frown. “I don't want that…”
He chuckles. “I know you don’t, baby.”
“But I don’t want a relationship now either. I don’t think I’m… ready.”
This wasn’t exactly a conversation you wanted to have inside a moving car, but oh well. It was too late now. Besides that, you trusted Quinn and you wanted things to be as clear as water between the two of you.
“We don’t have to date,” he adds before parking in front of your building, turning the car off. “What I meant is that I don’t share. If you think we’re better off as friends, then I’ll respect that.”
You blink slowly, tired.
“I don’t… I mean, I wasn’t lying when I told you you ruined the dating experience for me,” you mumble, fidgeting with your fingers, smelling his cologne on the jacket you were wearing. “I’ve only had two boyfriends before you. And honestly, I’m not interested in sharing either.”
“We can take it slow then, sweet girl,” he kisses your forehead, poking your cheek after. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”
You wanted to tell him that you had been the one waiting all these years, even if unconsciously. But you had already embarrassed yourself enough for the week, so you just gave him the tiniest, shyest peck on his lips and smiled, leaving the car after wishing him a good night.
Later, while you cuddled Bella and talked with her about your day— leaving the naughty parts aside, of course—, you let yourself dream about what a relationship with Quinn would mean.
Even if you knew that if he really got to know you’d become, he would get tired of you in a second.
“One day at a time, right, baby?” You kissed Bella’s head, letting your exhaustion win.
taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎
#quinn hughes x oc#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes angst#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes#nhl x reader#nhl players#hockey#TYPA#nhl imagine#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction
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headache
good lord why do i keep drinking 30 ounces of straight espresso every day. i’m shaking over here my skin is cold and sweaty and i can’t even focus LAWL i need to sleep for a week i think
#why did i think drinking my diet coke as well would not affect me whatsoever#helpppp i wish i could be my boss rn [napping] [unconscious] [fast asleep]#gear diary
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weight loss breakdown (for once not a mental one impressive ik)
as promised heres my weight loss breakdown. I have awful brain fog words aren't working properly (using any and all brain power on English rn) and it's a bit all over the place please be patient with me I have most definitely forgotten some stuff I'll update when I remember
this is not healthy this is what works for me I know the limits of my body you are your own person please look after yourself and don't compare yourself to me. I'm a professional ballerina and ex-taekwondow artist
please be polite don't leave unsolicited advice if I need or want it I'll ask and right now I DONT.
I'm not suggesting that anyone should attempt to fallow this since this is actually insane
DRINKS
I drink lemon honey water or tea for breakfast most days depending on how much calorie dread I have (does that make sense?)
I will only allow myself to drink water, tea or diet coke/zero or ultra monster throughout the day
MEALS
OMAD when possible budget is 900 I rarely ever make it close to my budget
I'll only intentionally eat dinner unless forced otherwise. I must burn off whatever I can from dinner since I don't have classes that late
some days it's completely unavoidable and I have to eat snacks due to outside pressure like friends and family or my manager (he's apparently hell bent on keeping my ass alive)
binges happen we (I) acknowledge them we (me) move
if I feel faint when In class nothing matters I WILL eat I cannot run the risk of hurting myself or my dance partner when it's him who will be the one who makes sure i dont hit the ground
META DAYS
meta days are important please take them!
I must allow myself 2 grace days a week and I try to be gentle with myself. (essentially I'm gentle parenting myself on these days)
I try not to fall into my normal over the top exercise routine since I still haven't figured out how to make these days my bitch
my cal budget is normally around 1400 for these days
EXERCISE
I must do 10k steps at least (normally much closer to 25k)
I start every day off with a mile run sometimes 2 (depending on how much I want to not exist and weather conditions)
i go to the gym at my dorm when weather conditions are bad or it's to cold for me I run on the treadmill it's not as mentally stimulating as outside but I don't like the rain ice or wind too much
i can be expected to be dancing for 8-9hrs on my longest day so for the most part I don't need to worry too much about forcing myself to burn calories but it gives me peace of mind I burn an estimated 4500cal these days (impossible to know for sure since 2 teachers don't allow activity trackers)
around 3000 on my normal days but again 2 teachers are a pain In my ass
I play just dance religiously at this point it takes me 2hrs to burn 500 I do this after dinner or twice a day on the weekends where possible.
I still practice taekwondo and go to a studio to do classes once a week but it's not as extreme as it used to be (no longer training 6 days a week and doing competitions)
WEIGHING
I weigh myself most days
I don't weigh myself during my meta days I don't need the added mental stress
I get weighed by my school once a week but only update my profile if there is a big difference either up or down (accountability and all that)
FASTS
I normally do 24hr since omad
I don't count my medication, gum, diet coke/zero tea or lemon honey water as breaking my fast. if this keeps me mentally stable then idk it doesn't count (politely eat a brick if you try to tell me otherwise)
I always try to get at least one longer fast a week normally after dinner on wednesday to Friday dinner sometimes I can make it to Saturday dinner it just depends on who's around to make me eat
if your wondering how I've survived this far all I can say is I'm a spiteful little bitch who's going to prove a whole list of people wrong
#네네#disordered eating thoughts#ana trigger#ed rant#ed not ed sheeran#tw ana diary#ana rant#@n0r3xia#f@st1ng#f@sting#⭐️ving#low weight#unhealthy weight loss#i wanna lose weight#ed ednotsheeran restriction#low cal restriction#tw restrictive ed#tw restriction#low calorie#low cal diet#tw skipping meals#tw disordered thoughts#ed behaviour tw#tw eating issues#tw ed diet#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#tw 4n4rexia#tw a4a#tw disordered eating
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What is your normal grocery list? I’m about to be living at a dorm and I am looking for stuff to stock up on, I can’t really keep frozen foods though
i actually dont even cook all that much so i dont keep a lot of frozen foods either. this is my regular list when i go, usually weekly.
FASTING FOODS
okay so youre probably like. raine you arent supposed to eat anything when you fast. hear me out bc this is how i consistently fast a 20-4 schedule everyday, with a lot less binges than before, AND getting all of the benefits of fasting. and yeah, i still binge from time to time, but my binges are far less because my stomach actually cannot handle being fed over 1000 calories anymore, especially not all at once.
these are my ESSENTIALS so theyre pretty much the only things i consistently buy weekly.
cucumbers
chicken broth (0cal kind)
seaweed snacks
pickled ginger
tea (any, but i like trying new flavors ! my favorite is lemon ginger because it helps digestion, and green tea because it speeds up your metabolism. also a lot healthier than diet coke with the same amount of caffeine, also less likely to spike your blood sugar and kick you out of ketosis- which will make your cravings for food much worse)
...dont get me wrong i couldnt live without diet coke. but sometimes ill go for the healthier option.
why i eat these foods while i fast
these are foods that have extremely low cals and carbs (like less than 2 grams per/serving) so they wont kick you out of ketosis (which is the major benefit to fasting, where your body burns fat at a higher rate). when youre in ketosis, your body stops sending you as many cravings, which is why sometimes it feels easier to fast 24 hours after you last ate as opposed to 3 hours.
because i spend the majority of my time fasting, (and i would never be able to do that without these foods) i go through these items pretty quick.
but otherwise i only have to buy other healthy foods on a biweekly or even monthly basis, because i wont eat them as fast ! heres some things i rotate through depending on how sick of them i am lol.
regular food
built bars - essential for me. tons of protein, less sugar than other bars, and relatively low cal.
somebody on here introduced me to these and im soo glad they did. i dont remember who but if youre seeing this ilysm.
tuna creations packets - rly good for on the go, tons of flavors, lots of protein so they're really filling for only being 70-90cals depending on the flavor
blueberries + apples - so hard to over eat these two items, plus fiber
rice cakes - self explanatory
pistachios or sunflower seeds - great for curbing hunger, but im a little sick of them rn
a low cal air popped popcorn - i forget which brand i have rn, but its pretty good and has a lot of fiber.
chobani yogurt + yogurt protein drinks (50cal) - the fact that these r 50cals amaze me for how good they taste. the yogurt drinks are my favorite bc theres actually a shit ton of protein and taste pretty good without actually having to make myself a protein shake. the cookies and cream and peaches and cream are my favorites ive tried. good for breaking a fast with.
thats all i can think of atm ! sry for the fucking essay i hope this was a little helpful at least.
typing this out manically made me realize im a little crazy. i cant say with my whole chest that you should listen to me and my d1sordered thoughts, but i think everyone on here knows that already so... uh
please be kind to yourselves. take ur vitamins (even while fasting) i genuinely love you all every one of you fucked up bitches like me.
goodnight <3
#a4a diary#tw a4a#a4a motivation#a4a#a4a buddy#a4a coach#a4a tips#st⭐️rve#light as a feather#⭐️rving
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me and dialga plush are scrolling through tumblr rn (i have a diet coke and its gross i dont want to drink it)
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i'm reading percy jackson rn and why is nobody talking about how mr.D is so lana del rey 2014 tumblr girl for drinking diet coke all day ????
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drinking the crispiest diet coke on my lunch break rn oh my god suddenly nothing is wrong anymore
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WIEIAD JULY 22ND
Liquids & OMAD
Vitamin water 0 sugar - 0 calories
Premier protein - 160 calories
Diet coke - 0 calories 0g protein
Chocolate frozen yogurt - 370 calories
Total - 530 calories, didn't care for protein today so the drink n frozen yogurt are my omad.
Burned 300 cals dancing, 11k steps as on rn, did 30 minutes of pilates.
#@na vent#cw#tw#tw 3d vent#tw ana bløg#⭐️rving#tw ed ana#ana angels🪽#anor3c1a#tw ana rant#wieiad#food log#pro for me not for thee#ana is my friend#anorexla#anoresick#ana buddie#anorexigenic#tw edtwt#ed nonsense#ed relapse#ed but not ed sheeran#@tw edd#tw ed but not sheeran#tw skipping meals#skin&🩻fightback#skinandbones#i need to lose so much weight#tw eating issues#i need to lose this weight
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