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Tim: So Duke, you officially been at the manor a year, how are you liking it?
Duke: I’m finally settling in. I’m no longer worried Bruce is going to send me away.
Jason: I get that. I thought I was just some charity case. I was terrified that I would mess up and end up back on the streets. I stole a bunch of expensive looking things and kept them in a go bag. I was prepared.
Damien: I too feared being sent away. My grandfather would have been disappointed. I was prepared to fight to the death to prove my place in the family.
Dick: I was sleeping with a knife in my sock in case he sent me back juvie.
Cass: (signing) I feared disappointing him. I felt like I needed to earn my place here.
Steph: He couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. I am like glitter.
Tim: Same. I think he tried to kick me out like 6 times. I just laughed and walked past him.
Duke: Are we just going to ignore Dick’s knife comment?
#batfam#batman#dc comics#batman headcanon#dick grayson#batfamily#fanfic#jason todd#tim drake#duke thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown
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Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.
Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.
Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.
Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).
Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.
Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.
Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.
Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.
Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.
#batfamily#incorrect batfam#batfam#jason todd#red hood#batman#bruce wayne#nightwing#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#dc robin#spoiler dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#black bat#orphan dc#duke thomas#the signal#barbara gordon#oracle#batgirl#fanfic#batfam ficlet
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Next fic: bodyswap
Jason: *in Dick‘s body*
Jason: I feel awful. What is wrong with your body???
Tim: *absolutely obliterating a punching bag in Jason‘s body*
Dick: *looks affronted at Jason in his body*
Dick: My body is fine! What do you mean??? You aren‘t the one who needs to consume an unholy amount of caffeine to function!
Jason: I feel like someone is about to push me off a fucking cliff, Dickhead.
Dick: *grins suddenly*
Dick: Ohhhh. Lemme fix that for you, Little Wing.
Dick: *walks up to Jason and hugs him tightly*
Jason: *relaxes before tensing up*
Jason: WAIT. YOU NEED HUGS TO FUNCTION?!?!
(Next fic is in the works! o7 It isn’t the one I had originally planned cuz my brain went brrr. Have a good one, my lovely birdwatchers! <3)
((Edit: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59545189/chapters/151862587 ))
#batfam fanfic#batfamily#dc fanfic#batfam#dc comics#dcu#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#jason todd fic#dick grayson fic#tim drake fic#body swap#incorrect batfamily quotes
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La Vie en Rose
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason wildly preferring you over everyone else
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: standard batfam arguing etc.
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You sit curled up embarrassingly close to Jason on the couch, head on his shoulder. The team is still in their gear as they filter into the living room, masks and helmets discarded in scattered locations between here and the cave. The mission had been fairly simple and with all of them together it only took a couple hours to finish up.
As you waited, Alfred had kept your mind busy in the kitchen while he taught you how he makes his famous ice cream from scratch.
The clamor of the heroic party’s return had made itself known sooner than later, and you think your face must have displayed your emotions nicely because Alfred nodded you away with a small smile and no second thought.
You’d walked into the living room, weaving through the mess of siblings until a hand snuck out on your left and grabbed your wrist. You barely had time to look at him before Jason pulled you down to sit next him on the sofa. He wrapped an arm over your shoulder, pulling you in and leaving virtually no space between you. His armor sits heavy against you, but a welcome weight on your shoulders.
Tim plops down on the couch across from you and you can just make out a bit of blood on the side of his head, aptly accompanied by an irritated look sprawled across his face. It’s not enough blood to be concerned about—not for them—but you can venture a guess that whatever they were up to shouldn’t have called for any injuries and his pique is likely directly related to that.
Though Dick’s goading aura might have something to do with it too, as he comes crashing down next to him a second later, partially sitting on Tim’s cape and pulling him into an awkward angle.
Nightwing doesn’t seem too perturbed by the younger vigilante’s agitation and curt manner of pushing him off.
The others are too caught up in chatter to pay much attention to you, and you can be certain that’s why Jason takes that moment to press a kiss to the side of your head. He lets his lips linger there for just a second as you lean into him.
Alfred’s own entrance is the only thing able to subside the flurry of conversations skirting around the room.
“A job well done,” he commends with a nod. “A selection of ice creams awaits you in the kitchen.”
He gives you a sly wink before retreating back through the swinging door, leaving Stephanie and Cass to practically trip over themselves trying to beat each other to the kitchen. Robin follows after unhurried, mask still on, with his hands behind his back.
Jason kneads your thigh before pushing himself up to stand. He turns back, looking down to you. “What do you want?” he asks softly.
You hum, "Just strawberry's good."
Tim sits up, "Can I—”
"No, you've got legs,” Jason grumbles, stalking off to the kitchen.
Dick barks out a laugh and you bite back a smile.
Tim looks absolutely aghast.
“That’s such bullshit. You know, he used to be nice.”
“No he didn’t,” Dick laughs, shaking his head. “Not since you’ve known him.”
Stephanie stumbles out of the kitchen then, the door hitting her back on the way, as she mutters a curse behind her. You can vaguely makeout Jason grunting something back before she rolls her eyes.
Steph looks at you, shaking her head as she returns to her seat, “You live like this?”
You shrug, “He’s nice to me.”
“Yeah, I bet,” Tim grumbles.
Jason returns after Cass a minute later with a bowl of strawberry ice cream and two spoons. He expertly ignores Tim’s unwavering glare as he resituates himself beside you.
He scoops your legs up over his lap and positions the bowl in between you, wrapping the sleeve of his jacket around it so that the cold porcelain doesn’t make contact with your skin.
The others have set themselves up so that the four of them are stuffed up against each other on the sofa adjacent to you, very obviously examining you both.
And while you’re willing to acknowledge the amused stares and singular glare, Jason only sighs heavily, rolling his eyes as he glares at the coffee table.
Only a few seconds of this are allowed to go by before he pulls over a throw pillow and sets it over your knees, so that it rests atop your heads like a mini-fort, successfully blocking out his siblings' view of the two of you.
You smile and press a light kiss to his shoulder as he simmers.
Regrettably, you miss the way Damian side-eyes the pillow above you as he re-enters the room, perching himself atop the back of the couch behind the others.
“This is so nice,” Dick preens. “He used to just leave the room when too many of us gathered in one place. Now he has to stay.”
Stephanie watches the makeshift fort with wary eyes, scooping ice cream into her mouth. “Yeah…I don’t wanna freak you guys out but, uh…”
It’s quiet for a moment and you guess Cass is speaking.
You’re proven right when Stephanie starts up again, “My thoughts exactly.” Her voice drops into a raspy whisper that isn’t really meant to go unheard, “I don’t know who the hell that is, but it is not Jason.”
“This is unprecedented,” Damian mumbles, dipping into his own chocolate cup.
“Do they always talk about you like you’re not here?” you ask Jason quietly.
“Yes,” he grumbles with a scornful look directed at the bowl.
A low hiss can be heard immediately after, “I’ve never heard him whisper before, what the fuck?”
You can’t hide your laugh as well as you mean to, but you know Jason’s light swat to your thigh is nothing more than a rib.
Mumbles continue along the other couch, mostly going unacknowledged, until Tim busts out, “He doesn’t even like strawberry!”
Jason snaps the pillow out of the way, “The fuck do you know about what I like?”
Tim resets his posture with one hell of an attitude, snarking, “Well I can name one thing you really seem to fucking—”
Jason grabs the pillow harshly and chucks it at Tims head which connects with a loud thwack.
Damian swats it away before it can knock him off balance, though his scowl is only half worth what Tim’s is.
“You’re unbelievable,” he says with a sneer. “This is why you don’t get invited to movie night anymore.”
Jason doubles back at him, “Sorry, is this not your own fucking house?”
Tim huffs, “Yes, which i—”
“Then get your own goddamn ice cream!”
Tim huffs as he stands, sending Jason a pointed look. “I’m going because I want to.”
Jason barely gives him a sardonic nod as he stomps off.
“Get me some too!” Dick calls back, only for the back of his head to be met with a sideways grimace from Tim.
As he leaves, the focus of the room seems to shift towards Damian dripping chocolate onto his cape and it fades away from there.
You turn to Jason, lowering your voice to just below a whisper, “If you don’t like strawberry—”
“I like it,” he tells you, leaving no room to argue as he takes a bite.
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Voicemail.
Voicemail.
Voicemail.
Voicemail.
Declined.
Voicemail.
Declined.
Declined.
“I swear to God, he better be dead,” Stephanie mutters to herself.
She shuts her phone off and tosses it into the passenger seat with a huff. Her fingers drum against the steering wheel as she scans the sidewalk across from her car.
The night before the majority of the team had been involved in a less-than-successful plan, which some have called “a display of complete idiocy and inability to circumspect.”
Then Tim had to go and make a joke about that word choice in what was apparently a bad moment. This gave way to a harsher punishment of the team being forced to clean the batcave foot by square foot—notably, an impossible task.
So naturally, they had to retaliate.
The plan was to dismantle the batmobile piece by piece and leave it a collection of parts for Bruce to find. Problem being, the group as it stood didn’t possess the capability to do so without doing a great deal of damage to the parts. Damage, that the family was not willing to face extra retribution for.
Fortunately, they knew just the man for the job.
Unfortunately, said man has devoted his life to ignoring their messages, favoring to live peacefully and distantly from them. And because that peace and distance does come with an add-on of borderline complete secrecy from his family, no one had any idea where to look for him.
So, Stephanie decided to do the next most rational thing and track down your location. She’d hoped he would be with you like he always is, but for seemingly the first time in the last year—he’s nowhere to be found.
Now, was revenge for a minor-slight by Bruce so important that it required Stephanie to take all of these steps to get a hold of Jason? No, absolutely not. She’s pretty sure that the others have already given up on it by now and started cleaning. But it’s about the principal. And also, she does not want to clean the floors of a cave.
She jumps up in her seat when she spots you exiting a store, scurrying to unbuckle and pry the car door open.
She’s across the street in half a second, running directly into your line of sight. It actually would’ve been very difficult for her to miss your line of sight, considering she’d landed only a good six inches in front of your face. “Hey!”
“Oh, fuck—” you jump, grabbing your chest. You take a breath when you realize who it is, less surprised now by the theatrics of the introduction. “Hey Steph.”
“Hey,” she smiles casually, like she didn’t do what she just did. “So Jason’s been ignoring us and I need to get a hold of him,” she tells you.
You nod, still collecting yourself. “Oh. I don’t know where he is—”
She shakes her head, “That’s fine. Can I use your phone to call him?”
You frown, “Is something wrong?”
“With him, yeah,” she snarks. “I called him, Tim called him, Dick called him, Cass called him, Damian called him, we used Bruce’s phone to call him—that was a bit of a long shot, but still. This is our last option. Well, not our last option, if this doesn’t work I could get really invasive, but—” She shakes the thought from her head, “Nevermind.”
You nod blankly, taking in the mountain of information she’d just handed you. “How’d you know I was here?”
She scans your eyes back and forth for a second before her own widen in realization and she’s shaking her head. “No, no, don’t worry we’re not tracking you! I just hacked into the traffic cameras to find you.”
“Oh!” you exclaim, nodding some more. “Okay.”
You hand her your phone without any further questions—for your own sake—and she happily accepts.
“You know I texted him 115 times?” she tells you as she scrolls through your contacts.
You furrow your eyebrows, watching her click his name and press the phone to her ear. “Did you count?”
“Well, I had the time, di—you son of a bitch! One ring?” Stephanie scorns into the phone.
You can hear Jason groan on the other end of the line.
He says something to Stephanie that she follows up with a firm shake of her head.
“No,” she says defiantly. “She let me use it.”
Stephanie rolls her eyes, not pleased with his response. “What if it was an emergency?”
She listens for a second, skeptical look on her face.
She gasps suddenly, “I am not overstepping, we thought you were dead!”
Over the course of about ten seconds the shock on her face drops into just-been-caught guilt. “Well, I mean we considered it.”
You imagine Jason’s telling her to give you your phone back as she stands her ground, pushing, “If you promise to text me back.”
A short response on his end.
“Promise to text me back!”
There’s a brief lull before she’s giving a self-satisfied nod and jostling your phone back into your hands. “Here ya go. Thanks, babe!” She smiles wide at you before jogging back across the street, not waiting for the cars.
You smile as you watch her go, putting the phone up to your ear, “Hey Jay.”
You can hear the relief on the other end of the line. “Hey sweetheart. You know if you see Steph in public, you can just walk away?”
“I’m not going to walk away from your family.” You look again across the street, “Also I don’t think that was an option for me this time.”
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“That thing is fucking scary.”
Cass smiles fondly, signing, “I think he’s cute.”
Tim eyes the way Salem traipses around his feet, yellow eyes staring up at him. “Why’s it even here?”
Jason rolls his eyes, continuing to scroll on his phone. “He’s hers. Deal with it.”
Tim scrunches up his mouth. “She knows I hate it. And she, unlike you, wouldn’t subject me to this just for the hell of it. So again I ask: why is it here?”
Jason huffs, looking up from his phone. “What do you want me to say? He wants to be.”
Tim scoffs at that, “‘It wants to be’? You’re the one who put it in the car.”
“No, I didn’t,” Jason says factually.
Tim looks at him sideways as Salem leaps onto Jason’s lap and nudges his hand up. Jason follows along as requested, petting the top of Salem’s head with an open palm.
Tim squirms to the other side of the couch with a look of disgust on his face. Salem watches him the whole time.
A smile adorns Cass’ face as she signs, “She says he can read people’s energy.”
Tim huffs, resting his head against his fist. “What does that even mean?”
The conversation is cut off by the clatter of you and Dick stumbling into the room, carrying a freshly painted headboard. Blue paint coats both of your hands and has no doubt stained your clothes.
You’re clearly struggling a bit to keep your grip on your end, the weight of the wooden frame dragging your arms down.
Jason stands and Salem flows along with his movements easily, leaping down onto the hardwood. He comes over and helps you lift your end of the frame with a stupid amount of ease, to the point that you’re not even holding any of the weight up anymore. The three of you—less so you—move the headboard and lean it up against the wall. After it's set down Jason steps back and looks over it gingerly.
“It looks good,” he murmurs to you, quiet enough to not give his brother the satisfaction of his approval.
Dick had asked you over to help him paint Damian’s bed frame as a surprise for him for not getting in any “altercations” at school this semester. You’d decided on coating it with his favorite color first and then fill it in with a collection of what Dick has “on good authority” are his favorite animals. It’s a fairly random assortment that you’re not sure adds to or disproves Dick’s credibility. You’d spent the better half of the afternoon googling animals you’d never heard of just to make sure you projected their likenesses accurately. Dick had been very clear that you had to be precise on the details because Damian would know if he was really looking at a komodo dragon painting or if it was “some common lizard.”
You sigh, “I hope he likes it. I’m worried we did it too childish for him.”
“He is a child,” Jason says plainly.
“But he is not childish,” you counter. And he sure isn’t. You’d had a hard enough time convincing Damian to watch cartoons, adding a colorful animal mural to his bedroom might be one step too far. You’re still trying to figure him out.
“He’ll like it,” he says firmly.
You smile, slipping around under his arm and tucking yourself into his side.
Not a moment later, Dick slings an arm around Jason's shoulder, grinning as he pulls his brother in close.
Jason’s immediately louring. "No, get away from me."
Dick, unfazed and still smiling, removes his arm and takes a big step to the right. You do the same, figuring he needs his space, but you get caught by the wrist before you can do more than sway to the side.
“Not you.”
He pulls you back under his arm, wrapping it around the front of your shoulders. You hook your fingers around his forearm, letting your hand hang.
You hear a double-clap from the other side of the room that has you both turning around to face Cass.
She signs something to Jason with a fond smile on her face.
You look back and forth between them as Jason waves her off. “What?”
He shakes his head, “It’s nothing. She said—she said we’re cute.”
You smile up at him and he deflects—not so subtly—and starts nudging you back towards where the group is gathered, now all standing.
Dick’s quick to start bragging off to the room about how great of a job the two of you did and how really complex and daunting it actually is painting animals for a child.
As he talks, your eyes find Jason, who’s definitely about to roll his eyes any second now. A bit subconsciously, your hand comes up to brush Jason’s white streak of hair back, away from tickling his forehead.
On the other side of Jason, Tim does the same, sweeping Jason’s hair back in a much more mocking manner.
This gives way to Jason smacking his hand away, harder than he needed to.
"Wha—You let her do it!" Tim protests, overplaying how much the slap hurt.
Jason scowls, "She can do whatever she wants."
Tim drops his shoulders, looking at Jason as if he’d been scandalized. “Oh but I can’t?”
“Not if it involves touching me,” Jason grumbles.
Tim steps closer, putting a finger to Jason’s chest. “You’re such a—”
From the floor, Salem hisses up at Tim, successfully startling the teenager. “Auahh—”
He stumbles backwards, grimacing at the cat.
“Fucking demon,” he hisses, walking away.
When Tim’s far enough away and Salem’s seemingly satisfied, he brushes up against your leg, purring.
You peer down at him with a furrowed brow.
“What’s Salem doing here?”
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“I’m not doing this shit with you.”
“No, come on, 9 out of 10 times is what you said. How ‘bout just once? Beat me one time at anything, Jaybird.”
“Anything?” Jason asks like he knows damn well Dick can’t swear on that word.
Rightly so, Dick backtracks. “Something agreed upon.”
Jason throws his hands up, partially in exasperation, partially relenting.
Dick smoothly turns his back to him, announcing, “Opening up the room for ideas.”
Damian’s eye roll is almost audible from the corner armchair, where his attention is unmoved from intently sharpening a blade he’d recently come into possession of.
Bruce similarly remains unbothered in his seat, trying to read despite the distractions.
“Ooh, okay. Okay.” Stephanie wiggles up a little on the couch. “You could race!”
Dick shakes his head negatively, “I literally just busted my knee up two days ago, Steph.”
“Convenient,” Jason mumbles.
“You were there!” Dick exclaims with an open mouth.
Steph continues, “Um…”
Cass waves to the room from her position upside down on the couch, head hanging down next to Stephanie’s legs. Attention successfully acquired, she signs, “Staring contest.”
Jason grimaces, “That sounds like a nightmare.”
Dick gives him a faux-smile.
“You should play chicken,” Damian chimes in, holding up his knife.
“No,” Bruce drones monotonously as he flips a page.
“Tic tac toe?” Steph suggests.
Cass is already shaking her head as she scrunches up her mouth in thought.
Jason rolls his eyes, “What are we, five?”
Dick nods, cracking his knuckles as he thinks. “No, we need something that really proves our worth.”
Bruce looks up from his book, staring numbly through his brow, but remains silent.
“You could arm wrestle,” Steph suggests.
The elder brother twitches at that, “Uh, no.”
Cass moves past that before a joke has the chance to be made. “Handstand contest?” she suggests.
Jason shrugs, “Yeah, sure.”
The elder brother looks at him incredulously. “You’ll do a handstand contest with me?”
“That’s what I just said.”
Dick scoffs, “Jaybird, I’m an acrobat, you’re just some guy.”
Jason, not giving him the courtesy of eye contact, pulls his sweatshirt off from his back. “Well, you’re a lot of things, aren’t you?”
Dick throws his head back with a squint.
Jason fishes his phone out of his pocket and Dick follows suit, offended stare maintaining all the while.
No exchange is required as they both toss their phones across the room, landing together with a rough clatter on Damian’s lap. Damian’s resulting glare is borderline disgusted.
Dick starts them off, “Alright, go. One…two…”
Both men push up onto their hands, muscles flexing as they find their balance. Dick’s form is better, of course, but Jason looks to have a stronger foundation.
They both hold strong as several minutes go by with the brothers only maintaining the attention of some of the room, and the interest of none of it.
Stephanie huffs and tilts her head, thoroughly unentertained with the consistency they’re both managing.
“Starting to wish they’d picked something that moved along a little faster,” she murmurs to Cass.
Dick glances over at the younger brother, clearly displeased with his lack of trouble keeping up with him. He shuffles closer one hand at a time, using the decreased distance to poke at Jason with his foot, trying to knock him over.
Jason kicks him back harder, “Hey! Don’t be a dick—”
“Very funny,” Dick leers.
They both end up finding a struggle to keep balance and are forced to mind their own.
A chime rings out from the corner that has heads turning briefly in his direction before coming back to the competition.
“Whose was that?” Dick calls out.
Damian leans over and inspects the screens with disinterest. “Todd’s.”
Jason adjusts his position, “Who is it?”
Damian responds with your name.
“And?”
He picks up the phone shrugging like he couldn’t care less, “She wants to know if you want to go see some movie.”
There’s a brief silence before Jason drops out of the handstand, standing up.
Dick’s blood-flushed face peers up at him, bewildered. “Wait, what?”
The family watches with wide eyes as Jason picks his sweatshirt up off the floor and tugs it back on.
Stephanie gawks, bordering on laughing. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” he says simply.
Dick lets himself fall into a kneeling position with a huff, “You would rather go to some movie you don’t even know the name of than win a bet?”
Jason moues at him, “Uh, yeah.”
He tosses a twenty at Dick, and plucks his phone from Damian’s hand as he strolls past him, typing out a reply.
Cass sits up a bit and signs up to Stephanie, “Does he even like movies?”
Bruce, now attention now fully removed from his book, watches Jason exit with the slightest hint of a smile. Dick sits dumbly on the floor, staring after him with an open-mouth.
Damian twists the knife in his hands around contemplatively before rising to stand.
“I will go,” he announces, dropping his blade onto the seat of the chair. Jason grumbles a no but Damian follows after him just the same.
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you know what happened to the last guy that didn’t reblog? … 🔪🧨💥😵⚰️🪦
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fanfic#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfiction#red hood fanfic#batfam x reader#batfam imagine#batfam fanfic#batfam fanfiction#jason todd x you#red hood x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd/you#jason todd thoughts#jason todd/reader#red hood/you#red hood/reader#dick grayson/reader#tim drake/reader#batfam x you#batfam dynamics
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
#I have more ideas in my head#but I didn't want to make the post too long#might repost later#might write a small fanfic off of this#I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom#batfamily#batfam#headcanon#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#cardinal tim drake#stephanie brown#spoiler#dc
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You know what
Story where Jason and Dick get into a fight (both are young) and Jason goes to Bruce like this "Hey, b, remember you said you'll replace anything i broke"
"Did you break your gameboy?"
"Nah, but my brother is not brothering right so i want a new one"
And Bruce doesn't know what to say to that, but a few hours after they go to a gala and at some point, little Jason comes back again "B, b!"
"Yes, Jay?"
"Remember what i said about wanting a new brother"
" yes...?"
"I want this one" He says, holding little Tim by the armpits
#batman#batfamily#batman au#batman fanfic#good dad bruce wayne#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake
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Dick is the type of person to yell “Bruce catch!” And let go of his grapple while swinging full speed.
When Dick eventually left behind was fired from Robin he still continued swinging at Bruce, and Bruce never failed to catch him.
And when Jason became Robin, and Dick got mostly past Bruce giving his name to the kid. Dick told Jason stories about it, never showing him except once, when he and Bruce were on slightly better terms. Dick did it more forceful than usual.
It took Jason a month or two as Robin before he was comfortable enough with Bruce to trust him to catch him.
For Tim, they didn’t show him. But he’d picked it up from seeing Dick and Jason do it. The first time he did it, it damn near gave Bruce and Dick a heart attack.
For the short period Steph was Robin see never got the chance. But you bet she remedied that when she became Spoiler.
Damian was more hesitant. Always worried it would be a trick. Because it was an easy way to ‘accidentally’ cause him harm. But after seeing Dick, Tim, and Steph do it and be caught every time, he eventually gave in. You’d never catch him admitting it but that first moment wrapped in his Father’s arms as Bruce caught him for the first time, and the small smile Bruce gave him when he stepped away, that is one of his favorite memories.
Cause Bruce would always be there to catch him.
He couldn’t catch Jason, never again.
#dick grayson#tim drake#bruce wayne#stephanie brown#damian wayne#batfam#headcanon#fanfic welcome#yall im not sure who and how many robins there were#this is just what i could remember#jason todd#nightwing#the robins
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I CANNOT😭😭
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Thinking about the bat family doing normal family shit and it’s just a painful reminder that they are still human people and humans are kinda silly.
Like
They go ice skating and Jason, 6ft and 225 pound, the Red Hood, is comically bad at ice skating. One foot on the ice and he’s on his back with his feet in the air like a cartoon.
And he denies it the whole time but his legs shake and he clings to the wall with white knuckles while muttering curses like he’s trying to spell his feet to work.
And Dick is just great with all his balance and figure skating stupid fucking acrobat bastard-
Or they decide to go see a movie as a family. It’s a horror movie, and they assume everyone will be fine because they see enough horror in their daily life.
And normally they would be, but this is a slasher. So it’s all suspense and jumpscares and gore. And Tim, Tim who loves psychological thrillers and can see movie endings coming from miles away, is suddenly clinging to Dick’s arm as subtly as possible because every scare has him tensing and trying not to yelp.
Or they go out to a carnival, with rollercoasters and bad food and worse games to win dumb prizes. They’re walking around, splitting up to do various activities, and Dick and Damian comes up to Bruce and asks him to go home.
Why? Because Dick drank too much soda, he refuses to use the bathrooms. He has an irrational fear of outhouses. And Damian saw one of the mascots walking around, a man in some kind of shitty lion suit with a vest, and is convinced the lion suited man is going to get him. (Bruce does take them home, but Jason teases them the whole way.)
Just silly things that show how they are people beneath the masks.
Love it.
#professional yapper#yapping#text post#batfam#batman#red robin#dc gotham#dcu#dc comics#dc universe#dc robin#dc batman#nightwing#red hood#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#damian al ghul#batboys#batfamily#fanfic ideas#maybe#i just think theyre neat#i love them so much
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I think instead of lame excuses like "Cass is away in Honk Kong" or "[x bat] is doing stuff from his team of heroes" or just ignoring Steph's existance altogether, it would be funny if fanfics took members of the Batfam out of comission by having them have their own fanfic-related cliché adventure
Like, a Jason-centered fic where he asks Alfred where is the replacement and Alfred just goes "oh, Master Timothy has just been possesed by himself from thee-years into the future and is away trying to prevent our horrible deaths" and that's it, Tim is having his own time-travelling fix-it fic in the background which is why he's not mentioned
Babs on a Babs-centric fic where she could really use some advice asking Bruce on comms where her Batgirls are and Bruce non-chalantly answers "Steph has been hit by a love potion and Cass has offered to help her to her apartment", Babs waits a moment and comments "oh... do we get the 'congrats on kissing' banner ready for tomorrow?", "no, I think it's a slow burn, give them a week" and the rest of the fic happens without them
Dick, entering a room and finding Duke "hey, is Damian acting weird this morning or what?" "I think he said something about being stuck on a time-loop until he learns the true meaning of christmas" "aren't we on july?" "Yeah I thought so too but when I asked he mentioned he had already gotten my help on two loops so I just left him be" "well I needed help with a case, you in?" and the rest of the fic is a Dick and Duke team-up
#batfamily#batfam#dc#dc comics#dcu#fanfic#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#cassandra cain#orphan dc#stephanie brown#damian wayne#robin#duke thomas#signal dc#alfred pennyworth#barbara gordon#oracle#batgirls
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timbernkon halloween au
guys help i can't stop
#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#leap of faith catch me if you can#halloween au#bernard and kon are as normal#it's just the bats that got halloweenified#timbernkon#timkon#timbern#konbern#?#bernkon#whatever they're called#digital art#witch#hot witch wife meme#tim drake#kon el#bernard dowd
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POV: First breakfast after Wally stays over
Damian: *eyes Wally with clear disdain because how dare that simpleton fornicate with his brother*
Tim: *too tired to care*
Jason: *smirks every time Dick fails to cover his hickeys with Wally’s his shirt*
Wally & Dick: *blush cherry red whenever someone makes eye contact*
Bruce: *walks into the kitchen looking like a zombie*
Bruce: *sees Wally and freezes before looking at Alfred confused*
Bruce: Alfred… When did I adopt another one?
Alfred: Well, Master Bruce-
Bruce: *tears gather in his eyes*
Bruce: And why doesn’t he have black hair…
Alfred: *sighs*
Alfred: Master Bruce, please go back to bed.
#batfam fanfic#batfamily#dc fanfic#batfam#dc comics#dcu#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#damian wayne#bruce wayne#wally west#birdflash#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes
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nicknames that bruce + the batboys would call you
warnings: sexual themes in jason’s part, fem!reader a/n: just sumn slight. enjoy😁
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⁎⁺˳ 𝒷𝓇𝓊𝒸𝑒 ミ
❀ bruce grew up wealthy so he would definitely call you something more on the classy side
❀ things like darling, angel, dear, my love, etc.
❀ he also has a habit of referring to you as “my wife” (because he’s possessive asf)
❀ “sorry guys, i really can’t stay for another drink. i’ve got to get back to my wife.”
❀ “you said these shoes were dior? oh, im sure my wife would love these.”
❀ on the flip side, he also really likes referring to himself as your husband (one might say he does it for the ego boost)
❀ like whenever you too are meeting someone for the first time, he'll introduce you first and then only introduce himself as "your husband"
❀ because why should someone care about him, a mega rich billionaire, when his lovely and radiant wife is standing right next to him?
⁎⁺˳ 𝒹𝒾𝒸𝓀 ミ
❀ dick would definitely be the type to call you something super lovey-dovey and over the top
❀ sugarplum, honey bunches, buttercup, (and if he really wants to get on your nerves,) shnookums
❀ he knows it’s lame, but he genuinely doesn’t care
❀ since his love language is acts of service, you tend to hear a lot of "let me get that for ya, honeybun"
❀ or something like “hey sugarplum! im on my way home from work, you want me to pick up anything?”
❀ or even "don't worry about dinner honeylove, lemme take care of things tonight."
❀ regardless of how annoying it is, you can't help but love his teasing nicknames for you
❀ like you two are that annoying couple that everyone loves can't stand seeing at the function (i know valentine's day hatesss to see yall coming)
❀ off topic but if the two of you had a kid together, i imagine him nicknaming your daughter ‘love bug’ (AWWW)
⁎⁺˳ 𝒿𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃 ミ
❀ despite his thick exterior, jason’s a lover boy at heart
❀ he’d call you stuff like babe, doll, sweetheart, hon, y’know all that cheesy stuff
❀ most importantly though, this boy lovesss to call you mama
❀ like for example, he usually likes to greet you with a casual "hey mama, you doin okay?" followed by a quick peck on the check
❀ or if you're being goofy trying to get him to feel better, he'll probably say something like "c'mon mama, cut it out" as a smile inevitably blossoms on his face
❀ alongside this, he also has a weird kink thing for calling himself papa
❀ either “thatsss it sweetheart, come to papa” or “let papa bear handle it, ‘kay? you just sit down there and look pretty f’me.”
❀ you have absolutely no idea where he got it from because jason swears up and down that he's never done it until he got in a relationship with you
⁎⁺˳ 𝓉𝒾𝓂 ミ
❀ while tim is such a sweetheart, so his pet names for you would most definitely reflect that
❀ sweets, pretty, baby love, cutie; simple stuff like that
❀ also, let’s not forget that this boy is a certified LEWSER, so that also shows within you guys’ relationship
❀ he sometimes calls you pookie (he’s chronically online…)
❀ he'd probably be up texting you at 2am (because why wouldn’t be be up at that time) and is like “hey pooks u wanna check out this new italian place i found? i saw that they serve a few of ur faves”
❀ he also has a nasty habit of referring to you as dude or bro
❀ you'll often get random tiktoks from him throughout the day like "bro look this is totally us" or "me & u fr🥹"
❀ sure it's corny but the sentiment is sweet so you don't really mind
❀ a lot of people think the relationship you both have may be a bit odd, but neither of you care (and that's all that matters <3)
#*nicki voice* NOBODY DISRESPECTS PAPPA BEAR!!#<- that’s me talking about jason btw#dc x reader#dc fanfiction#dc headcanon#bruce wayne headcanon#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne fanfiction#bruce wayne fanfic#bruce wayne fluff#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson headcanon#dick grayson fanfiction#dick grayson fanfic#dick grayson fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd headcanon#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fluff#jason todd smut#tim drake x reader#tim drake headcanon#tim drake fanfiction#tim drake fanfic#tim drake fluff#batboys#batman x reader#red hood x reader#bruce wayne x you
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DP X DC PROMPT: DANNY'S AN ASSASSIN?!
So Danny gets adopted by the Waynes somehow.
Now, he's a teenage vigilante, he knows all the signs. And he can clearly tell that Damian and Tim are sneaking out under the cover of night to fight crime as Robin and Red Robin.
While ordinarily this would lead to the connection between the Waynes being Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, and various other assorted vigilantes, that's not what we're here for, so instead, what happens is that Danny thinks that his two absolutely normal little brothers are sneaking out, meeting strange people dressed in spandex and Kevlar on rooftops, and punching criminals.
He has no issue with this.
The only issue he has is that Tim and Damian are inexperienced, I mean, Damian's twelve or something like that, he can't have been Robin for long. He's not particularly willing to get back into heroism himself, though, so this leads to him casually dropping random tidbits of information that only an ex-vigilante/hero/assassin/other part of the caped community, would know into regular conversation.
Like, if Tim's using bandages on his hand, Danny will suddenly drop the fact that that particular brand is very absorbent and works really well to take care of large, bloody wounds, like bullet holes in important places.
If Damian's reading a book about different knives, and their creation processes (because be real, he totally would) Danny will read over his shoulder a bit and then just point out a knife that would particularly good for stabbing someone in the stomach, or slitting someone's throat. (he knows this because of a. his rogues trying to kill him and b. Dan likes sharp things.)
The three of them are watching some superhero movie or something, and Danny goes on a twelve-minute rant about how the fight scenes would never work that way.
Tim and Damian come to the conclusion that their new brother has been trained by the League of Assassins or something.
Here's the issue. Danny hasn't.
So Damian starts dropping little hints that he knows that Danny was part of the League, for example a reference to a technique that only a League member would know. Danny, who has been trained in hand-to-hand by Dan, who was trained by dead League assassins in the alternate timeline, knows the moves.
Danny is just happy that his baby brothers are taking his advice, and opening up to him too. Damian is even starting to talk about fighting with him, and he thinks that they might actually tell him about their nighttime activities soon.
Finally, the two confront him on it. And by that, I mean that like the emotionally constipated bats they are, they utterly fail in their interrogation because they can't just come out and say it out in the open.
Tim: so Danny, I noticed how you know a lot about fighting. and first aid, and stuff.
Damian: I have noticed this as well. Might I inquire as to where you gained these skills?
Danny just thinks that they have figured out his past as a vigilante and that they are worried about him being hurt.
Danny: Don't worry about it. I don't do that type of thing anymore.
Now that's a deflection if Tim's ever heard it.
Damian, digging for more information: I wish to know. Maybe I can learn from whoever it was that taught you?
Danny grimaces slightly before answering.
Danny: Trust me, kiddo, you don't wanna learn from the people who taught me this stuff. They squash you like a bug.
Tim and Damian take this as confirmation that Danny was involve in the League. Danny just means that pitting his rogue gallery, which consists of exclusively ghosts, against living boys would be unfair.
#fanfic#writing#batman#dcu#damian wayne#tim drake#danny fenton#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#damian wayne al ghul#danny gets adopted by batman#batfamily#batkids#batfam#league of assassins
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Did you guys know that Duke's tag on Ao3 only has 7,000 fics? Because I didn't.
#I knew this fandom didn't like Duke but jesus christ#Clark motherfucking kent is in more batman fanfics than duke is#by almost 2x#i mean i know he's a newer character and hasn't been around that long comparatively but god#based this on the number of fics in their tag btw so don't try to accuse me of getting it wrong#batfam#batfamily#batman#dick grayson#richard grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#timothy drake#red robin#damian wayne#damian al ghul#robin#stephanie brown#spoiler#cassandra cain#cassandra wayne#orphan#black bat#batgirl#barbara gordon#duke thomas#the signal
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Its down again. I think I have an addiction to this website. It’s been like four hours …
Hopefully everything is okay soon
#ao3#ao3 is down#destiel#destiel news#destiel meme#destiel news meme#ao3 fanfic#ao3feed#dc#batfam#batfamily#batman#percy jackson#tim drake#aftg#dc x dp#dpxdc#harry potter#mauraders
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