#doofenshmirtz gave me this idea

[gothamite-rambler]

Talia being a good (villain) mom and getting her son the doll he always wanted.

Talia: Tifl!

Damian (now 12): Why did Alfred let her into the house?

Damian heard the sound of his mother's heels echoing down the halls of the manor until she reached his bedroom, where he was working on math homework at his desk. She held out a gift bag to him.

Talia: I got this for you.

Damian: Your sanity?

Talia (laughing softly): That left after the tenth dip in the pit. No, I got you the gift you wanted since you were seven.

Damian took the bag, looking at it with skepticism. He pulled out the black tissue paper and revealed a brown boy Barbie doll.

It was something he remembered asking for often and even begging for at one point, but he had never received it. Over time, he had given up hope, especially due to Ra's negativity towards him.

Damian took the bag, eyeing it with skepticism. He pulled out the black tissue paper, and his eyes widened as he unveiled a brown boy Barbie doll—something he had often asked for and even begged for at times, but had never received. Gradually, he had lost hope, especially with Ra’s constant negativity looming over him.

Talia: I wanted to give you the best gift because I know how much you love Barbie—no judgment there! The old me would've reacted like my father, but the new me understands and appreciates your hobby. I couldn’t find the perfect one, so I had it custom made by the Barbie company. Ta-da! He’s Arab and White, just like you!

Damian: You got this for me?

Talia: Absolutely! You’ve always said you wanted one that resembled you, and here he is. It wasn’t easy getting in touch with the company, but once I flashed the cash, they got right to work.

Damian: I'm not sure what to say...

Damian smiled softly, eliciting a beaming smile from Talia, though she maintained her distance to give him space to take in the new doll.

Damian: I can’t believe you remembered I wanted one. I begged for this but never received it.

Talia: Of course I remember! I raised you for eight years, after all. Ra might say boys shouldn’t play with dolls, but I refuse to listen to that nonsense anymore. I’m here to make my baby happy—even if it meant spending a good chunk of money to barge into Barbie headquarters, providing them with detailed notes for your custom doll, and creating a scene when one of them said boys shouldn’t play with dolls.

Damian (surprised): You really did that?

Talia (winking with a smile): I even got that intern fired for his comments! Anything for my tifl.

Damian stared at the doll, momentarily lost for words.

Damian (clearing his throat): Th- Thank you, Mother.

Talia wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek.

Talia: I’d do anything for you, even if you choose not to join my family's side... although I suspect you probably will. But I understand if you don’t. Now, I have to go. Your father doesn’t know I broke in, but he will find out soon. Bye, tifl.

Talia opened the window and slipped through, landing gracefully on her feet just as Bruce noticed and chased after her. Damian leaned out the window, then glanced back at the doll, a smile spreading across his face.

[anonymouscatloaf]

"You know, he's the yin to my yang. He completes me."

So the funny part about Dan repeatedly calling Perry the yin to Doof's yang (besides the fact that he can just freestyle some Greek tragedy level bullshit about Doof & Perry's relationship on the fly for Radio Disney or an episode commentary track) is that at face value you might also be like, okay but why is Doof the "yang" (light) and Perry the "yin" (dark)?

I didn't say good vs evil because that's not what yin and yang are about. As a concept it's one of those terms from another language that have variable meanings in English depending on who's using it and why, but its most enduring interpretation - with the disclaimer that I am not a philosopher, just someone who is far too invested in overthinking relationships in a kid's cartoon - is the idea that they are opposing but complementary forces of the energy that the universe operates on.

It's a balance. According to Lao-Tzu, "everything is embedded in yin and embraces yang; through [vital energy] it reaches [harmony]". Two sides of the same coin, sun and moon, my other half - you get the idea. It's not hard to see why Perry and Doof are complementary but opposite; one can't exist without the other: Perry all but gives up evil when Doof has that brief dalliance with Peter; Perry has exactly two POV songs in the entire show and both of them relate to Doof, one of which explicitly states "[his] life, it seems, is empty" without Doof's scheming and he "gave [Perry's] life heroic cause"; and he straight up has no idea what to do with his life and makes the saddest platypus sound ever when Doof bans thwarting as Tri-Governor in LDOS.

On the other hand, Doof is a lot easier to see - partly because he actually talks (though Perry is actually one of the most facially expressive characters in the show - by necessity - though I digress). He's overt about his affections and very clingy (a result of childhood trauma and abuse/neglect by his parents) because Perry's his only real friend. He all but begs Perry to thwart him in that whale episode, he became really upset when Perry seemed to be helping him in the episode with the Dull-and-Boring-inator but was just using him to fix the problem with Phineas and Ferb, and he can't bear to leave Perry behind in Road to Danville, just to list a few sillier examples off the top of my head. Really, the entire B plot could be used as evidence.

(There's also the fun dynamic of Perry being an animal that has human-level sentience, and Doof being a human that was raised by animals - ocelots - during some of his formative years.)

So they're irrevocably intertwined. One of the most important characters in each other's life, according to Dan from SDCC 2015. The LDOS ending song even puts Perry smack dab in the middle of the Doofenshmirtz family with Heinz, Vanessa, and Norm - two other characters deeply wrapped up with Perry as a result of Doof himself. I mean, look at them:

Yeah, this was an excuse to make you look at one of my favorite scenes and witness Perry's hopelessly fond smile, not sorry.

Anyway, back to yin-yang. They were originally ascribed to just "day" and "night", and eventually came to also mean "movement" (because you work during the day), and "rest" (because you sleep at night). In terms of qi, they embody heaven and earth, and in the collection of essays of the Huainanzi, "yang is generated from yin and yin is generated from yang [...] sometimes there is life, sometimes there is death, that brings the myriad things to completion". Technical details of Chinese philosophy aside (which I'm sure exactly nobody is considering when they call someone the yin to their yang - it's really just the "you complete me" part), the words themselves also have various opposing definitions: positive/negative, active/passive, sun/moon, overt/covert, etc etc etc you get the idea.

In terms of their relationship, Doof has the more active role. He's one who makes the crazy inators and plots elaborate traps and monologues everyday; Perry usually just reacts to that accordingly. Doof play-acts at a lofty, larger-than-life "evil", while Perry keeps him grounded ("you are my rock" and "having you around just makes me feel, you know, safer"). Perry isn't necessarily a wholly passive character, but also, like, a lot of his plot is just Shit Happens and Perry Has to Deal With It. Doof is overt about his "evil" schemes and can't stand even white lies. Perry spends his entire life hiding aspects of himself and keeping secrets from his loved ones, and he has a whole song in CATU about being an unrecognized hero. One of these characters is living in the "dark" more than the other...

Doof is overflowing with emotions - most of them negative, but also love: so much so that his daughter feels smothered, because a lot of that love (while borne of good intentions) is misguided, and Doof fails to actually listen to her; it takes a few rocky starts (helped along by Perry himself) before they get to the point where Vanessa considers her dad a "misunderstood genius" and convinces him to give up evil. On the other hand, Perry keeps his cards close to his chest - it's not that he doesn't know how to emote (he clearly adores his boys in ATSD and he apparently is happy to hang out with Doof as a friend outside of his job enough that he has a whole wallet of photos of them just goofing off together), he doesn't because of necessity. He's better than anyone at separating his work life (fighting evil) from his pet life (pretending to be a mindless animal) from his personal life (how much he loves his family, watching his silly dramatic soaps, having a petty streak and sassing Monogram a bit, is genuine friends with Doof).

As a result, he is full of emotions he rarely gets to express - around the Flynn-Fletchers specifically, because Doof does know he's sentient, which is another reason I think they click. Doof gets the single-minded attention he never had; Perry gets the treatment as an equal he never had. They both gain a friendship, and a new sort of family. There's a part of their life imbalanced when the other isn't present.

The yin and the yang. They complete each other.

[dang-orange]

dang-orange makes a list of characters he'd shake inside a glass jar:

i decided to be insane while i wait for the Methylphenidate pill to hit (i was thought to have adhd and still have some leftovers from trying to treat that) so i can study. so i made a list of what i think are kins? i refuse to look up what that actually means so im going by the context that a thousand years of reading tumblr posts on pintrest gave me.

Okay! so:

Kinger is a new one, he seems like such a funny silly guy who is kind of out of it, something i absolutely get! so he goes there.

Izzy Hands has been a cause of insanity for me since season one, but season two got me worse. what a funny fellow. i get the whole being a tryhard thing, and sort of losing it a bit over having to change your ways. havent had to eat own my toes, lost a leg or done drag while singing in french, so those things i just find amusing.

Peter B. Parker! what a funny guy, i didnt expect him to actually come back on the second spiderverse movie. being a cool mentor is something admirable i think, and the scene with aunt may made me spend way too many hours on ao3 as i thought that could have been more of a thing (in my head the movie would have done well as a series, more time to explore the really cool characters they had). Also: him being a version of spiderman ''were things didnt go well'' that doesnt go in a morbid direction is very baller.

Doctor Twobrains i only know of from fandom osmosis. i did watch the series as a kid, but i really cant remember shit. the rat brain is funny, and i love anything involving inventors with a theme (i had to fight myself a few too many times to not include doofenshmirtz). the manerisms and vibe are very silly, the excentricities vibe with me.

Agent Stone was the only reason i watched the sonic movie. i saw a trailer and thought, huh i dont think i remember ever seeing this fellow on anything sonic. turns out, he was a new character and very, very funny. what a guy! i can imagine going that far being a henchman. i, however, do have a deep hatred against the guy that does robotnick, so i havent seen much else other than the first film (that i very much pirated).

Pyro is such a mistery. they just burn things and act jolly, the whole pyroland thing is also so stupid. i mained him when i played tf2, but for now i just save fanart of her burning shit and think about how cool it'd be to have a full body suit, be unintelligible and get to burn stuff. absolute 10/10.

Hazel from The Umbrella Academy was fun while he lasted. The idea of being a time traveling mercenary and still getting shitty hotel rooms is hilarious to me. made me really want to get suspenders, but i dont think that'll happen.

Scar (from Hermitcraft) is such a chaotically silly guy. i wish i could pull that off. going from scam, to huge incredible creations, to changing allies on a dime, to playing games by any other rules than the ones stabilished? i wish i could do that! btw the fanart is by reddit user dead_cricket_ (i didnt want to use a minecraft skin but wanted to make sure that I AM TALKING ABOUT THE FANON CHARACTER NOT THE REAL DUDE THAT MAKES VIDEOS)

Elliot Gussman from The Umbrella Academy was also fun while he lasted. i also have some really, really weird paranoia problems and would act the same if i had alien strangers in my house. there isnt a lot of fandom stuff on him, as he's such a minor character, so i just juggle a few too many head canons on this silly guy.

Aziraphale. hehe. haha. im absolutely normal about this guy. being an angel and having the ideology of heaven hammered into your head, and complying with things you know you shouldnt because you know the consequences and that theres someone all-seeing always watching you? i get that 100%. Two other things: the constant forced smiles that are clearly unnatural and doing silly things you know you arent good at are also relatable.

i really like Abner Krill. this is so long already, but i just, really like him. i wish he didnt get killed, that movie is my favourite and i wish it could get a sequel. i'll be short on the whole thing by saying that being the weirdest one on a bunch of batman villans is very funny, and his powers are very fucked up in a cool way.

Oswald Cobblepot was the only reason i saw Gothan. him going from just a guy to.. The Penguin?? absolutely crazy. i really got the whole bit where he was getting higher on the crime scene by biting small bits and getting big results.

I could write 20.000 words on each of these, but this formatting is ass and i think the Methylphenidate is working (it's been a bit more than 40 minutes between writing and looking up images that werent so bad), so i should go study/work. if anyone wants me to go insane again, dont worry! i absolutelly will. i made an account here for a reason.

[doverstar]

A paltry 2 people have asked why I don't like Act Your Age, SO:

It doesn't feel like a Phineas and Ferb episode at all. It's too dramatic, nothing zany actually happens, Candace isn't even in it. (Yes, I saw her for five seconds on the screen too.) The only part that felt canon was Doofenshmirtz and Perry's subplot.

It feels unfinished and out-of-character. Phineas crushed on Isabella all of high school but never did anything about it? Isabella gave up? That doesn't sound like either one of them. But! I'd have been willing to go with it if they'd explained it or delivered it better. But they didn't.

The Fireside Girls were cringe. Ferbnessa suddenly getting confirmed at the end totally out of the blue, especially on the heels of Montessa doing so well, was cringe. All of the dialogue was basically cringe. It was bland and awkward the whole way through.

The things I did like:

What Might Have Been is such a good song!

Again, Doof and Perry's subplot, perfect.

Incorporating the fandom's unanimous, decade-long headcanon that Ferb talks regularly when he gets older.

Hiring Ashley Simpson to design the main cast of teens! What an homage!

I actually do like the idea that Phineas pined for Isabella in high school and she had no idea, because she had stopped trying so hard after a while so it wasn't even a possibility in her mind. I do like that. [I just don't like that, in-canon, it's made so that between the two of them, they basically stopped being consistent friends and never communicated, and that's the reason they never got together. Ridiculous.]

The episode was basically a love letter to the fans, in a way, which you can clearly see with all the pandering in it, and I appreciate that! But in the end, I personally would have rather seen what Dan and Swampy could have done with a teenage!PnF episode that made Phinabella canon without the fandom's influence. Just theirs. A purely Phineas-and-Ferb-esque episode that wasn't trying to do anything for the fans, just write a good story for their characters. (In my opinion, that's Night of the Living Pharmacists. To me that's the Phinabella episode, made all the better because it's not primarily about Phineas and Isabella.)

[leathr-blr]

Headcanon dump when

you’ve made a grave mistake. media analysis is one of my special interests and i’m also a lifelong writer so this will definitely start to get incomprehensibly ranty (warning i literally gave like an essay length explanation of how i would rewrite heinz’ story in mml s2 and this whole thing devolves away from the question very quickly)

1. my funniest one and most out of pocket one i like to bring up is that i think doofenshmirtz is such a whore imo. an absolute harlot. i think he gets around. not like people are attracted to him or find him charming (he is NOT) but he will have been with everyone in the room, like, at least once. particularly the love muffin scientists, especially rodney, and he and monogram DEFINITELY were together at some point

2. on the monogram thing, i figured monogram “experimented�� at one point before doof was an owca threat and dated heinz for a short period of time and that’s why they call eachother by their first names and are so familiar with eachother (heinz probably turned him from bi-curious to homophobic very quickly). i just think the idea is hilarious

3. obviously, heinz is transgender and so is perry, that’s a given. and as mentioned one of my previous posts, 2d doof is a karen archetype and your conservative aunt at thanksgiving dinner (you decide if he’s actually cishet or if he’s like blaire white)

4. less of a headcanon and more of an “i wish this happened”, i think monty and vanessa should have stayed together and i don’t like ferbnessa much but that’s also a pretty popular take. i like the perryshmirtz parallels what can i say. also this pairs very funnily with my first and second headcanons

5. buford and bajeet are qpps (they don’t know what that is but they are). ginger is supportive

6. another obvious one, i think pretty much everyone is neurodivergent because of course they are. to get specific on the ones i feel strongest about, heinz has audhd, perry is low-empathy autistic, the rest of the flynn-fletcher family besides linda are autistic, milo is autistic, cavendish is autistic, and dakota has adhd. thank you for listening to my ted talk. i’m actually.. 👉👈 writing my first ever fic, focused around how heinz and perry communicate with their contrasting neurodivergence that will be up on this account once i finally post it to ao3, and that goes a lot more in depth

7. this is actually something i feel differs a bit from most headcanons i see. my take is that norm initially (throughout most of pnf) does not see perry as a father figure at all and only tries to get that from doof, and is also jealous that perry gets all his attention, so kind of actively dislikes him. he also hasn’t made the connection that anyone other than heinz could fulfill that role for him, because in his robot brain, he will take father in the most literal definition, like they have to be directly responsible for creating you. and not something more complex and nuanced like it actually is because he’s a robot and he’s not gonna get that right away. but i feel like over time, he’d begin to realize those nuances, and start to accept perry as family, and get much more out of him as a father figure than heinz. especially since (unless it’s a human au) they would have similarly complicated relationships with not being human but also being fully sentient.

that was a long one and i still don’t feel like i covered all of it but maybe i’ll do a fic about that one too one day 💔

8. i don’t know, as i am writing this sentence, how explosive i will get with my details on this one, but my favorite proposed future for heinz is both a mix between doof 101 and act your age. so an open secret between my friends and i is that although i love both seasons of milo murphy’s law, i really. really. dislike the whole professor time thing. don’t get me wrong, i would keep the whole reveal and not change anything about the season 1 finale.

but, if i, alister r. zamir, were personally hired by dan povenmire and swampy marsh to write the continuation of said finale, i would make everyone including the audience think he’s professor time but have that be a RED HERRING and not ACTUALLY have him be professor time because i think that’s REALLY BAD!! (maybe make it sara or cavendish or even phineas and ferb since they already did that)

the reason why i, the new writer of milo murphy’s law season 2, think this sucks, is because heinz has spent his whole life trying to live up to the expectations of others, and in the shadow of others and is always striving for unreachable goals to substantiate his self worth. it’s like his whole character, it’s his whole thing, this is his canon ass story, so to just throoooww in that whole professor time thing VALIDATES this behavior and encourages him to keep holding himself at an unnecessarily high standard, PLUS the fate of the world is kind of in his hands now, so that’s FINE. AND IM FINE ABOUT IT AND IM NOT MAD. YOU ARE.

so coming back to doof 101 and act your age, particularly act your age (which i also don’t like as an episode but that’s another story), as somebody who suffers from The Serious Illnesses of the Mental Variety, heinz being able to move on, adjust his expectations, and not be doing great or amazing or rule the tristate whatever and just be fine with doing alright, is super meaningful and relatable to me

so i think they should have just stuck with that. i like the phineas and ferb characters included in mml and like i said id keep a lot of it, but i’d save all the heinz arc stuff for phineas and ferb exclusively cause i love the perry funding professor time thing and that whole deal is cute but also i hate it. because it’s so rushed. and everything with his development feels so out of place. and wrong. and it makes me throw a tantrum.

not to mention, but i WILL, how heinz is completely justified about being upset and falling into depression because of this whole ordeal, and they sorttt of treat it like he’s justified? but they also make him unbearably annoying and we as an audience are justifiably unsympathetic to that and it seems like you want me to feel bad for him sometimes but also hate his guts, which could have been an interesting conundrum ig, but even though i love milo murphy’s law, it’s character writing is farrr from strong enough to get any kind of interesting story or arc out of that

so like, in conclusion, dwampy, hire me, i will work for pennies

alright that’s not all of them but i’ve been writing for 20 minutes and my fingers hurt thank you very much for asking me i needed to get these out of my system

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Word Count: 1500

Summary: When Doof has to erase Zack's memory of turning inside out, Melissa realizes this is a perfect time to ask her friend a question she's been wondering for a long time.

also on ao3!

 ZAP!

 Melissa had never been happier to see one of Dr. D's inators work. She always enjoyed spending time with Zack, but she really enjoyed it a lot more when he wasn't inside out. She didn't fight off the urge to rush forward and give her friend a quick hug.

 "How are you feeling, Milo's friend?" Doof asked.

 "It's good to have my organs inside my body," Zack panted.

 "Yeah," Melissa joked, leaning on his shoulder, "makes it harder for someone to chop, chop, chop away at your heart when it's inside your chest, huh?"

 He didn't so much as smile or frown, and Melissa knew what that meant– physically, he was fine, but he still wasn't doing so well mentally.

 "You okay?" Melissa asked, "Zack, are you alright?"

 She stepped in front of him and waved her hand in front of his face a few times. He didn't respond.

 "Zack?" she asked.

 He shook his head and blinked a few times.

 "I could've died," he whispered.

 "What?" Melissa asked.

 "All of my organs were exposed to the elements," Zack said, "one slip-up from Murphy's Law, and I would've died!"

 "Then it's a good thing that Milo went to the bathroom," Doofinshmirtz said, "Murphy's Law didn't cause you any problem."

 "Too bad Doof's Law is in full effect today," Melissa snipped, then turned back to Zack, "are you gonna be okay?"

 "I don't know," Zack sat down in the grass, "I just had the most disturbing near-death experience of my life."

 "Even more disturbing than the time we were impersonated by mutant pistachios who tried to turn us into plant people?"

 "Yup."

 "And the time you were pummeled by a team of football players three times your size and age?"

 "Absolutely."

 "And the time a sentient blob chased us around the chemistry lab?"

 "Definitely."

 "And the woodpecker incident?"

 "Yes!" Zack snapped, "And I would appreciate if we didn't keep rehashing the most terrifying moments of my life!"

 "Sorry," Melissa said, sitting down across from Zack in the grass.

 "It's okay," Zack said, "I just, I wish I could forget the whole thing."

 "Maybe you can," Doof interjected.

 "What?" Zack asked.

 "I made an amnesiainator a while back. One zap with that and you'll forget all about your inside-out-of-body experience."

 "So wait," Zack said, "you want to shoot me with another inator?"

 "Yup!"

 "The same thing that just gave me potentially lifelong trauma?"

 "Not the same thing," Doofenshmirtz said, "this one's a totally different inator."

 Melissa leaned closer to Zack and added, "It's either another inator, or an extra hour at the therapist every week."

 "I'll go with the inator," Zack said.

 Doof ran into his shed to grab it, while Melissa stayed outside with Zack.

 She had to admit, Zack looked pretty good when his organs were on the right side of his body. She didn't try to dwell too often on her feelings for Zack, but every time he almost died made her stop and wonder what would happen if he was gone before she knew how he felt.

 And unfortunately, those near-death experiences came up a lot around Milo.

 She didn't want to risk jeopardizing their friendship, but she also wasn't sure how many times she could go through this again. If only there was a way she could know how Zack felt without making things weird.

 "Excuse me a moment," Melissa said, an idea formulating as she jumped up and ran to Doof's shed.

 "Did you find it yet?" Melissa asked.

 "It's somewhere in here," Doof said, "I just can't seem to remember where I put it."

 There was a silence a moment before Melissa continued.

 "So Zack's not gonna remember anything from today?"

 "Oh, he'll remember today," Doof said rifling through his box of old inators, "I could only build a memory device that erases the last ten minutes of memory."

 "So you've made a time machine but you can't build a ray that'll erase someone's memories of a whole day?"

 "Oh, I can," Doof said, "and I have! I just didn't have room to build a full size amnesiainator in Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated."

 She heard the words "Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated" repeat, almost like a jingle.

 "Like my new ringtone?" Doof asked, pulling out his phone, which played again: "Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated."

 Melissa rolled her eyes.

 "That's Vanessa," Doof said, "I'll erase your friend's memory after I take this call."

 "Uh, is it alright if I ask Zack a question first?" Melissa asked, as Doof answered his phone.

 "Knock yourself out, Milo's Friend Girl," Doof said, then turned back to his call, "hi, Vanessa! I told you, the de-volitionator was in my building when it exploded…."

 Melissa stepped out of Doof's shed and back into the backyard, noting how sad and alone Zack looked.

 "It's gonna be okay," Melissa said, sitting down next to Zack.

 "I got turned inside out, Melissa!" Zack said.

 "But you're fine now," Melissa said, "there were no lasting side effects, and Doof got you back together just in time."

 "And you're sure I won't remember it at all?" Zack asked.

 "Positive," Melissa said. She'd been around Zack enough to pick up on what some of his nervous tics were– rocking back and forth, talking fast, heavy breaths– and the trauma of Doof's latest inator fiasco had Zack exhibiting more of them than she'd seen at once in a while. She still didn't understand how someone as cool as Zack could fall apart so quickly when things went wrong.

 "Maybe now's not the best time to ask him," Melissa thought, "he's nervous enough as is– but when am I gonna get this opportunity again?"

 "You're gonna be fine," Melissa said. She noticed how much his hand still shook, and placed hers on top of it. He looked up at her, surprised but not upset– that was a good sign.

 "Thanks, Melissa," Zack said, "you know, you're a really great friend."

 "Thanks," she said, "can I ask you a question?"

 "I guess."

 "I, uh," she didn't make eye contact, instead noticing how his hand was no longer shaking, "I kind of like you."

 "What?"

 She looked up and saw that he still didn't seem too upset, so she continued, "Like you said, we're really great friends… but I kind of like you as more than a friend."

 He was quiet for a moment, and his hand started fidgeting under hers.

 "Is that okay?" Melissa asked, "do you feel the same way at all?"

 She thought she saw a smile start to creep across his face, as he started to say her name, but in that instant a green electric glow came over him and knocked him backwards. She then turned her attention to where the blast had come from, and saw Doofenshmirtz standing there, amnesiainator in hand, smoke coming from its barrel.

 "Doofenshmirtz!" Melissa yelled, jumping to her feet.

 "What?"

 "You said you weren't gonna blast him until after I asked my question!"

 "And I didn't!" Doof defended, "you said you wanted to ask a question, and you did! It's not like you told me you wanted him to answer your question first," he stopped a moment as a thought flashed across his face for the first time that day, before tacking on his realization: "oh, you wanted him to answer your question before I erased his memory."

 "Yes, Doof," Melissa said, "why would I ask to ask him a question if I didn't want to wait for an answer?"

 "An answer to what?"

 Melissa turned around and saw Zack leaning up off the ground, still coming out of a daze.

 "Nothing," Melissa said.

 "What happened?" Zack asked.

 "You fainted," Melissa lied, "Doof told you what his next inator does, and it icked you out so much that you passed out on the spot."

 "It did?" Doof asked.

 "Yes," Melissa elbowed him, "remember?"

 "Yup," Doof said, keeling over a little from the pain.

 "What was the inator?" Zack asked, "I can't seem to remember much"

 "I'm not telling you again," Melissa said, "unless you want to break your record for most times fainting in the Murphy's backyard in a month."

 "Not yet," Zack smiled. 

 "A smile," Melissa thought, "he must be okay again if he's smiling at one of my jokes."

 Melissa held out a hand to Zack and helped him up. He stood up, a little wobbly, and braced himself by putting a hand on Melissa's shoulder.

 "Thanks for having my back," he said.

 She bit her inner lip. Everything inside her was telling her to ask Zack how he felt again, see if her feelings were one-sided, but she still knew it was wise to hold back. If he didn't like her back, it would ruin their friendship– unless they wiped his memory again, but she didn't want to see Zack zapped with any more unnecessary inators today.

 "What are friends for?" Melissa asked, trying to pretend it was just their friendship that led her to give him another quick hug.

[acrossthekwverse]

Meatball Minion Crime"

Written by K.w

"It started a normal day in Danville. Phineas & Ferb were sitting under their tree with their pet platypus Perry. Ferb and Phineas were figuring out what to do today. They overheard the TV talking about the latest strike of the police.

Phineas turned to Ferb and exclaimed, 'Hey, Ferb! I’ve just had the idea of what we’re going to do today!' Ferb looked at Phineas.

'We’re going to cover for the Police Department since there's a strike going on and keep the bad guys off the streets! It’s the least we can do for Danville; Danville's been so nice to us all summer.'

'What do you think, Ferb?' Phineas said. Ferb gave Phineas a thumbs up. 'Great, let’s get to work!'

A quirky work song plays. We cut to Perry's watch going off. Perry goes down a tube like Futurama. Major Monogram greets him: 'Good morning, Agent P! Doof has been up to no good. He's turned meatballs evil, and we don’t know how that’s even possible. Anyway, get over there, Agent P, and see what he’s doing. Monogram out.'

Carl interjects, 'Sir, you know it’s probably just his inator.'

Major Monogram warns, 'Don’t get cocky, Carl.' We hear Perry’s music sting.

Perry is flying on his hover jet into Doof’s lair. Doof’s meatball captures Perry the Platypus.

Doof taunts, 'Well hello, Perry the Platypus! I see you've met my new invention.' We hear a whisper ('meatballs'). 'I have no idea where that comes from. But meatball, bring Perry the Platypus over here. I want to show him my latest invention.'

Doof continues, 'Behold, Perry the Platypus, my Make Roger Evil Inator! With one shot, I will make my brother Roger the Mayor of Danville evil. You’re probably thinking, why? Let me tell you, Perry the Platypus. With Roger being evil, he will be taken off being the Mayor of Danville because nobody will want an evil Mayor.'

'You see, Perry the Platypus, I can be nice. Don’t look at me like that. Ever since the professor’s time stuff, I realized I can take over the Tri-State Area just by being nice. If Roger is voted out because of my inator, oh right, the meatball part of my plan. That’s because I was figuring out my new inator and was having meatballs and hit it by mistake. Now, long story short, I’ve got evil minions.'

We pan back into Phineas and Ferb’s house. Isabella asks, 'Hey Phineas, watcha doing?'

Phineas responds, 'Hi, Isabella. Ferb and I are rigging up our mum's car to become a police car.' Phineas puts on a bit of a '60s voice, 'Those bad guys are going down.'

Candace interrupts, 'Mum, Phineas and Ferb are building—wait.' Candace runs back to Phineas and Ferb, 'Um, what did you say you were doing again?'

Phineas clarifies, 'Becoming police of Danville.'

Candace rushes back to her mum, 'Mum, Phineas and Ferb are rigging your car into a police car.'

Mum reacts, 'Wait, you rigged my car?'

Candace denies, 'No.'

Mum decides, 'That’s it, young lady. Go to your room. No pie for you. We’ll talk about this later.'

Phineas and Ferb drive with a controller along the road, similar to a toy train. Phineas says, 'Alright, Ferb, let’s take down some crimes.' Phineas and Ferb have built a tracker for crimes on their new remote-controlled police car made from their mum’s car. Phineas asks, 'Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, are you ready?'

The gang responds in unison, 'Yes!'

We get a montage of Phineas and Ferb riding around, taking down criminals, with Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella too.

(Song)

'We’re traveling around Danville in our mum's car. We’ve turned it into a police car, and it’s so much more. There are no more criminals on the street. Ahh ahh! Crime hunters! Ahh, crime hunters!'

Ferb and Phineas are traveling around in their remote-controlled police car. The song pauses, and a random guy says, 'That’s their mum's car!'

'Ahh ahh, Crime hunters! Ahh, crime hunters! Crime! Crime! Crime! Hunters!' A music sting plays as we see Phineas and Ferb driving down the street. We pan back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. and hear the jingle.

Doofenshmirtz declares, 'It’s time! Perry the Platypus, I’ve got you trapped with my evil meatball minions!'

Doof is about to fire at his brother, but Perry the Platypus tries hitting the giant meatball with his hat, which doesn’t work. So he tries eating it, and it works. Perry catches up to Doof before he hits Roger and starts hitting him.

Doofenshmirtz exclaims, 'Perry the Platypus, how did you escape my evil meatball minion? Huh, you ate my evil meatball!' Perry explodes the inator, dives off Doof’s building, and parachutes back to Phineas and Ferb’s place.

Doofenshmirtz laments, 'Curse you, Perry the Platypus!' Phineas and Ferb arrive back in their driveway. They shut down the remote control and put their mum's car back to normal. Phineas and Ferb run back to their backyard. Candace sees them arrive.

Candace shouts from her bedroom, 'Mum, mum!'

Mum replies, 'Give it a rest, Candace.'

Phineas and Ferb sit under their tree in the backyard, happy that they’ve paid a favor back to Danville, saving the city from crime.

Phineas says, 'Okay, Ferb, that was awesome. Danville is definitely safe from crime for another day!'

Ferb adds, 'Now it’s up to the real cops.'

Phineas notices, 'Yeah, Perry sits on my lap. Oh, there you are, Perry. You missed all the fun.'

Ferb comments, 'Oh yes, a platypus would definitely make a good cop.'

Phineas ponders, 'Another thing done on our 104 days of summer vacation. What to do tomorrow? There’s a world of possibilities out there. Maybe we should use our list.'

[343guiltyshark]

3 10 and 12 for the ocverse ask

no ocverse specified but i am gonna answer them abt utopia mechanism since that's what these most cleanly map onto

for 3: there are a few recurring elements and motifs! some of them i haven't gotten to incorporate just yet, but i think some of the most notable things i like to sneak in, either in the comic itself or in art i do for it, are: - cracked glass/broken screens - pillars and columns - water - forests, pine trees, foliage in general - flower symbolism i think it's fun

for 10, i have an explanation but it's long.

when i was very early in my conceptualization of the reboot, i toyed with the idea of having utopia city itself like, as a place, play more of a role in the story. i don't remember whether utopia mechanism as a title or utopia city as a location came first but either way, the first few concepts of the story leaned a bit more into the "what if there was a city that was just fucked up" angle. and even though i abandoned that idea pretty quick, the names stayed.

back in the preboot felix was just straight up a really fucked up technocrat dictator figure so "what if there was a really fucked up guy ruling the tri-state area" (i used to joke that he took over the tri-state area because in the preboot i literally didn't do enough worldbuilding to figure out where and how he rose to power. felix is doofenshmirtz now it's canon) kinda evolved into "what if there was a city that was fucked up" which then just turned into "what if there was a city that was actually pretty normal and nice but had some guys in it that just get so sad"

that combined with jamie being conceptualized as a character around then kinda just gave me the idea for "utopia mechanism": a machine designed to make the world a better place.

so long story short the title refers primarily to jamie. it also refers to a big societal engineering challenge: how do we make things better with technology. and what happens when one guy fucks up really bad at doing that

for 12. i think simon is my favorite as a character but jamie feels the most fun to write

[doofsimp]

Hello guys I'm iedasb, and I recently I realized that I like Doofenshmirtz way more than I thought! A friend was joking around the other day and sent me a screenshot of Doof, that episode he was overrun by moms, saying it was their fans, this friend is in this picture too! Doof's hand is from the screenshot itself btw! The rest I drew myself! So I had this silly idea, to make him really being overrun by his fans! Then I contacted a few other Doofenshmirtz fans to ask if I could draw their self-inserts or ocs on this picture, and here is the result!

And with this picture I open my new blog, dedicated to Doofenshmirtz and Dwampyverse content that I've been drawing a lot on the last few months!

Thank you everyone for letting me draw your characters, doing this was very fun! Credits of everyone in the picture:

@iedasb (me) @mizooncat Roger (my irl bf) thegreatseal / CShizer(twitter) (the person who made the joke and gave me this awesome idea!) @lightning-flower01 @lieutenantselnia @leibi97 @selenestrickler toonqueen_jenmask (instagram) GlitchyBits (twitter) ederelcool (devianart) @hypersonicjd

[tinyyoungblood]

okay amazing here goes...so SOUR has been on repeat and your one-shot based on the album was super cute and just EVERYTHING 🥺 but also i was listening to 'traitor' the other day and the first line goes "brown guilty eyes and little white lies" and i just. the entire song puts me in the feels over a boyfriend i never had but anyway i was thinking what if...angst with peter parker!! maybe he's been more distant lately and lying about where he's been at nights or something? i'm not sure the world is your oyster!! thank you in advance💘 hehe

strangers with memories | peter parker

pairing: peter parker x reader

warnings: pure angst

a/n: “the world is your oyster” lol you’re so sweet <3 we don’t claim the peter parker in this fic because he knows better than this. enjoy x

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was nights like these that made you feel like everything was exactly how it was supposed to be. The window was opened, leaving outside noise from the street to breeze in and blend in with the lo-fi beats playing quietly from Peter’s laptop.

Your legs were tangled under a soft blanket as Peter showed you outfit pictures from his Pinterest board, asking for your opinion. It simply made sense. The world felt at peace.

“No, I don’t think you understand. Orange and teal look really good together, see.” Peter turned his phone around to show you his screen. You squinted at the brightness, but once your eyes adjusted, you burst out laughing.

“Sure, if you want look like Perry the Platypus. Get that away from me.” You shoved his hand away and Peter grinned. He swiped to another picture with the same colours combination, and you shrieked. “Not the brown beanie! Dr. Doofenshmirtz would have a field day with this.”

Peter chuckled. He rose to his feet and tossed his phone next to you on the mattress. “I’m going to the bathroom”, he declared with an air of casualness that made you crack a smile. He was halfway through the doorway when he popped his head back in and asked, “You want anything?”

“From the bathroom?” You looked up from your phone.

Peter shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Uh-huh.”

You suppressed your smile. “I’m good, thanks.” He gave you another shrug and left the bathroom, whistling a tune you didn’t know.

Not a second later, Peter’s phone gave off a subtle ping. It wasn’t your intention to look, but reflexes made you glance at it from the corner of your eyes. You regretted it instantly. Your shoulders tensed. It was just a text message—nothing scandalous, but the contact name made your stomach drop.

MJ.

Her name popped up on Peter’s phone screen more often than not. You really didn’t want to be bothered. You knew they were only friends, but you could already see the broad smile edging his face as he read the message. You hated where your thoughts had taken you.

Peter trusted you and you wanted to trust him as well, desperately. You demanded yourself to take the high ground. It still felt stupid and your chest caved in just at the thought of Peter grinning at his phone. He barely even answered your texts anymore.

You could already hear the white lies he was going to feed you. But you felt yourself wanting to keep the white lies. At least, that meant getting to keep Peter. All you could do was swallow the lump in your throat and take a deep breath. The world still blurred around you.

“May asked if you’re in the mood for Thai food.” Your gaze shot to Peter’s. He was leaning against the door frame, arms folded over his chest with the same calm expression as before. Don’t ruin this. Keep the peace.

You forced a smile. “Thanks, but I don’t like Thai food.”

Peter frowned at that. “Since when? You’ve always liked it.” He appeared almost affronted before realisation crossed his face. “Oh wait, my bad, MJ liked it. We actually just had Thai food together the other night with Ned.” A private smile curled around his lips at the memory.

“Sounds nice,” you replied weakly. It was all you could say.

Peter didn’t seem to mind. He pushed himself off and strolled over, picking up his phone to see the texts he had just received. He chuckled softly at whatever he had been sent and punched in a reply.

You simply sat there, fiddling with the blanket that suddenly felt too hot. Say something, the voice inside your head demanded. Be exciting. Don’t make him lose interest. Your hands curled into a fist. You felt ridiculous.

“So about Friday night,” you began awkwardly, feeling suddenly very out of place although there was nobody else in the room. Peter’s eyes were bright with delight as he typed away on his phone.

“Hm?” He said, and you had a feeling it wasn’t because he wanted to you to go on. He just wasn’t sure if you had spoken at all.

Your cheeks hurt from forcing a smile. “Are you going to pick me up or should we just meet there?”

Peter’s eyebrows creased. “Meet you where?”

“At the movies,” you said curtly. “We wanted to watch that movie, remember? It was your idea.” The bite in your tone finally made Peter look up. It was like watching a slow car crash.

“Was it?” Peter mused, and you nodded stiffly.

“Oh.”

From somewhere on the street, you heard people arguing. Their sharp voices cut into the room and drilled themselves into your chest. Don’t let this be us. That isn’t us. We’re better than that. You fixed your eyes on the curve of Peter’s neck, concentrating on his breathing to feel like he wasn’t drifting away. In reality, you knew that the ship was already leaving the harbour and there was nothing you could do.

“Sorry,” Peter finally said, lips pursed. “I kind of already made plans with MJ. Her uncle has this cool train collection that she wanted to show me. She told me about it at lunch today and I’m really excited. It’s pretty awesome.”

Your face dropped and he had the good sense to add, “But we can always catch the movie on Monday night if you want.”

“Why not on the weekend?” A part of you dreaded to hear the answer.

Peter didn’t hesitate as he waved you off. “Ned and I wanted to get started on that new Lego set I told you about.” You had no recollection of that. Peter’s eyes flickered to you before another text message came in, demanding his full attention. The sound made you feel nauseous. The ship was a dot now, fading into the horizon while you were still stranded.

“You can join us if you want,” Peter offered with eyes glued to his phone. “MJ is going to bring Thai food, I think.”

You didn’t bother to reply. You felt claustrophobic. Pushing yourself off his bed, you headed for the window. It was already opened by a crack, but you needed fresh air. It was almost overwhelming when you stepped over the window sill and let yourself out onto the fire escape. The stairs screeched but you didn’t care for the noise. What you needed was proof that there was more out there.

The railing was cold as you wrapped your hands around them. Each window across the street was alit in numerous colours. Silhouettes moved in those colours—people with their own lives and sorrows. The world continued to live.

You settled on one of the stairs and stared up at the night sky. No stars, nothing. You were really stuck at the harbour. Peter’s room was glowing in purple thanks to the LED strips you had set up together a few weeks ago. He had bought old vinyl records and you spent the entire night rating them until sunlight pooled in through the curtains. It all felt like a pipe dream now.

You didn’t know how long you’d been sitting outside by yourself. All you knew were the colour blocks of windows, shifting in and out of blurriness. You had been too busy watching the ship sail away that you only now realised how much you had starved yourself. One good night wasn’t going to change that. Your mind was just really good at leaving out the bad parts.

“Here you are.” Peter’s voice caught you off guard. You turned away, wiping your tearstained cheeks hastily as he watched you with knitted brows. “I just came to tell you that I invited Ned and MJ over. I hope that’s fine.”

When you didn’t reply, Peter stepped out and sat on the window sill. “You okay?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Do I look okay to you?”

“Well,” he said, “You’ve been acting weird all week, so…I’m not sure”

“I have been acting weird?” You echoed.

Peter hesitated but lifted his shoulder in a half shrug. “Yeah, but you’re always smiling, so I just assume you’re all right.”

“You can’t be serious,” you said bitterly, tucking your hands under your thighs to stop them from shaking. “Just look what we’ve become. You can’t even tell anymore if I’m putting on a fake smile.”

“What are you talking about?” He cocked his head to the side.

“Oh, you know.” You waved your hand at nothing. “Air pollution, climate change, everything and nothing these days. But you wouldn’t know, would you.”

“Y/N,” Peter said with an edge to his voice. “Are you going to tell me what this is really about?”

You hadn’t realised that you had started pacing until his question made you halt and whip around. There was acid in your tone as you snapped, “Don’t you miss me at all?”

“What?” Peter looked stumped. “We see each other every day at school. You’re literally standing in front of me right now.”

You scoffed and sat back down on the stairs. “Love really does make people blind,” you murmured and stared at the sky. Maybe it was going to rain.

Peter exhaled sharply and knelt before you, lowering your chin to look you in the eye. He thought he could find an answer in them, but you knew that if he’d been blind to it all this time, he wasn’t going to see it now. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” he admitted, and your chest ached.

You wrapped your arms around yourself. “I want you. That’s all I wanted.”

“Wanted? You have me.” Peter pressed his lips together. “You have me right now, Y/N.”

“I don’t.” You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “MJ has you. She’s had you for a while now, and I’m just here watching you both from afar.”

Peter opened his mouth, most likely wanting to deny it, but no sounds came out. He simply stared and stared and stared. Your heart was racing. There was no way back, so you went on, “I don’t care if you’re just friends. I really don’t care, because it hurts just as much knowing that I still let you treat me like that. I miss you and you’re sitting right in front of me. And you know what the worst part is?”

Memories flooded your mind, bricking you like thorns. You devoured them, hungrily, because you were used to living on crumbs. Peter holding you in his arms. Peter looking tenderly after your wounds and kissing your tears. Peter turning sorrow into bliss until you were drunk on laughter and the sky was dusted in stars.

A sad smile hung to your lips. “I still think the world of you. All those nights when I had prayed for someone like you. Someone who could be my safe person and I could be theirs—I thought I had that with you.”

“You do,” Peter hissed, and at once you wondered where he found the strength to believe his own lies. He sighed. “I promise you, you did. It’s just…” Your throat went dry as he bit his tongue. “It’s not something you can control, okay? Maybe you’re just not my only safe person anymore. It’s…it’s not a big deal.” Peter’s gaze dropped as your breath caught.

You were glad you were sitting. There was no doubt that your knees would’ve given out otherwise. His confession felt like a punch to the gut. That small, pathetic voice inside your head screamed and trashed, denying everything he’d just said. A part of you was always so hopeful—Peter used to love that about you.

Remember, it tried to reason, he promised he would never hurt you. Remember how it felt to have his arms around you. It couldn’t have been a lie. None of it could’ve been a lie. You squeezed your eyes shut.

“You’re not actually sorry,” you heard yourself say. “You’re just saying that to feel good about yourself. If you were sorry, you would’ve never made all those promises—” You didn’t have it in yourself to continue. No words would’ve done you justice anyway. “If you’re just going to keep hurting me, then leave me alone.”

Something dark flared in his brown eyes. “Leave you alone?” asked Peter incredulously. “This is stupid and you know it. All of this, just because I’m friends with MJ. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous? We’re just friends. There’s no reason for you to get paranoid.”

“I’m being paranoid now?” Your eyes narrowed.

“That’s what I would call it, yes.”

“Then tell me this.” You jumped to your feet. “Last week, when Mr. Harrison took points off my assignment because I supposedly handed it in too late, why didn’t you speak up for me? You were there, you knew I handed it in time. All I needed was for you to tell him the truth, but you didn’t say a damn thing. Now I’m failing that class, and you know why this is the first time you’re hearing about this?”

Peter remained silent, but his eyes flickered, and the crease between his brows was evidence enough.

“Because you were too distracted giggling with MJ in the back. You didn’t even notice when I stormed out of that room, so don’t lie to yourself, Peter. You haven’t been by my side in a while now.”

You shook your head when Peter averted his gaze. Of course, he had nothing to say. Both of you knew it wasn’t just about that class. It was about the missed calls, the empty words, and all the times he had stood you up and let you down. At least he respected you enough to not deny it. No more white lies.

“See, this is the thing,” you began, swinging your leg over the window sill to step inside the room. You faced Peter and waited until his gaze drifted to yours. “You gave me your word and I was stupid enough to believe you. I trusted you. It was supposed to be you and me against the world, but you sat back and watched it beat me down because you were too busy falling in love with somebody else.”

Peter’s expression shifted and you turned your back to him. Seeing his frustration replaced by realisation was something you knew you couldn’t stomach.

So you made to leave. It was only when you were halfway through the room that you recognised the feeling simmering in your gut as something a bit different than resentment. You looked back over your shoulder, eyebrows lowered, and struggled to find your voice.

“Peter?”

It was barely a whisper, but you knew he heard you. He tore his gaze from the floor and looked at you. Wild storms were trapped in his eyes, an ocean rising. It was devasting to look at.

But it was then that you realised, that although Peter had never cheated on you, his brown guilty eyes still made him a traitor. You took a deep breath.

“Just don’t treat her how you treated me,” was all you said. And with that, you were gone.

* * *

i’d really appreciate if you left some feedback since i barely ever write angst and want to know what you think:) stay hydrated guys

[pinky-the-elephant-room]

Villainous

♠ AN: I'm alive ! And I wrote a drabble for AM's birthday. A day late but whatever he knows I love him 😭 So, this reader is based on Doofenshmirtz type of villain where they're horrible at being a villain.@drabbles-blurbs-words thought it was actually Doof LOLOL. But I swear it's not. Tho it might be a cute crack pairing fkfjlsjdlsdjf 🤪

♠ Warning: None fluffy goodness. All Might x Male Villain Reader

♠♠♠♠♠♠

He felt his heart wither and tears obscure his vision. His creation, his precious invention that he lost countless hours of sleep over was now destroyed.

“Look what you did!” he screeched, pointing at the device.

The robust hero just raised his eyebrow, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Y/N burst into heaving sobs.

All Might grew flustered and fluttered around him nervously.

“Listen, I’m sorry. It was by accident, and I didn’t mean to land on your ….thing.”

Y/N just cried louder. “You horrible buffoon! It’s an Anti-Mongrelinator! Do you have any idea how long it took me??”

“Right, of course! I’m sorry that your latest inator got ruined-“

“By you,” Y/N butted in.

“By me. If there’s anything I could do,” All Might said with remorse coloring his voice.

He sniffed and wiped his tears. “Well, you could hear my plan.”

The number one hero sweatdropped. “S-sure. I suppose this is part of my job too.”

“Well, you see it all started when my idiotic neighbor refused to pick up after his dog! I warned him repeatedly, but he just laughed in my face. It’s a wonder why anyone would keep those slobbering disgusting animals! Why would anyone want them when you could have cats!”

Y/N saw All Might nod, and a smile overtook his face knowing the Pro Hero understood him.

“So, I created my inator that would erase the existence of all canines in this world!”

Y/N put his hands on his hips and burst out laughing maniacally.

“But then you!” he turned and pointed at the Pro Hero who looked startled. “You. Ruined. My. Plans. Again!”

“Well, I won’t apologize for that. It’s my job to stop villains. No matter their plans.”

Y/N sighed and said, “That’s true. But All Might I’ve been at this for five years, and I’ve gotten arrested multiple times. Do you think I’ll ever be a villain that will inspire fear into the hearts of simpletons?”

All Might’s face lost its severe look, and he bent down to face Y/N.

“I think someday one of your Inators are bound to work.” With that the older man patted Y/N’s head softly.

Y/N’s face heated up, and he lost his ability to speak.

“S-shut it! I’m going to be the villain that will defeat you! Just wait until next Friday. I’ll have another Inator ready,” he stuttered while trying to back away steadily.

All Might gave him a thumbs up. “Ok! It’s a date!”

Y/N sputtered, “N-no way!”

He pulled out something from his jacket’s pocket and filled on a switch. All Might, startled, got caught in one of his traps.

“Well, I would say it was a pleasure, All Might. But I would be lying!”

He cackled and then rushed off as the older man rolled his eyes and gingerly stepped out of the trap.

When Y/N had gotten far enough distance between the number one Hero and himself, he exhaled deeply with relief rushing throughout his body.

His cheeks heated when he recalled All Might calling their encounters “dates.”

He would never date a hero!

“See you later, Y/N!” He heard All Might call out, alarmed, looked behind to see the now freed Pro Hero waving him goodbye cheerfully.

But perhaps never was going a tad too far.

[travesty-majesty]

// Heroes // Villains // Bystanders // Based on the Origins SMP, but very different! Tommy starting Innit Inc. gave me an idea for an AU, and I finally decided to draw the characters Basically it's set in Esempee City, and you have the heroes, villains and everything in between! This post is for the bystanders. Some characters tagged might be in one of the other categories. Even if they're a bystander, they have an important part in the story :}} Characters below the cut!

Tommy Innit - CEO of Innit Incorporated - Shitty power, doesn't use it - Manages all the heroes - Where does he get the money to pay them? - Involuntarily vegan - Younger than every hero he hires Defining trait; Child Fun Fact; Favourite cartoon character is Doofenshmirtz

Wilbur "Soot" - Freelance Vigilante - Used to work for Tommy but left - Works for whoever hires him - Used to work with Fundy - Visits Phil/Fundy/Techno every so often Defining trait; Coat Fun Fact; Absolutely does not have a gun license

Jack Manifold

"Employee #1" - Heroes' Tech Guy - Friends with Niki - Might be a robot - Who knows - Underpaid - Gonna riot - Team Rocket ripoff #1 Defining trait; Bald Fun Fact; Roomie with Niki

Niki "Employee #2" - Heroes' Medic - Friends with Jack - Also underpaid - Got a degree to work for a CHILD - Likes dyeing her hair - Team Rocket ripoff #2 Defining trait; Space buns Fun Fact; Roomie with Jack

Ranboo just some guy - Bystander - Enderman guy - Didn't mean to get roped in but is now Bee Man AND Innit Inc CEO's best friend - Just tryna pass his classes - "Tubbo no I can pay my tuition myself please don't rob a bank-" Defining trait; guy Fun Fact; Even enderguys go to school

Sapnap 420 blaze it - Bystander - Just wanted a coffee - Ended up meeting the god of time and a guy with a gambling addiction - Mmmm they be looking kinda fine tho - Oh and Dream and Gogy found him too - Exciting day huh Defining trait; Hoodie Fun Fact; Punched Quackity square in the face upon meeting him for the first time

Captain Puffy "Captain Pussy" - Heroes' Tailor - Ex-pirate captain - Uses fabrics from her adventures to make clothes - Has a son, and another child she never met - Gets along with Eret - Puts up with Tommy Defining trait; Puffy hair Fun Fact; Piracy is her favourite crime

[hibiscera]

mr. mind, da worm

INHALES. EXHALES. Anon I am so sorry for what you have unleashed. This is gonna be long.

I’m putting it under a cut actually because this is getting ridiculous. The special interest is TANGIBLE. Also this is sooooo embarrassing so I’m sorry in advanced.

First impression

THIS IS THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME!!! THIS IS _THE_ CHARACTER OF ALL TIME, PLANKTON’S INFLUENCE!!? HOW COME I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT HIM UNTIL NOW!?!?!?

This discovery was made on October 18th, 2020, when one of my dearest friends showed me a picture of him to lure me into getting into DC and I took the bait! Hook, line AND sinker. ^_^

I don’t know what anyone expected from the person obsessed with Scalpel TFA.

Impression now

He Is My Favorite DC Character I Love Him So Much.

My favorite version is Justice League Action because he has the best design out of all of his canon ones, and he is funny.

Uhh the Rebirth version, I like the direction they took with him!! I love the name Maxivermis!! I love the fleshed out backstory they gave him because I think if any villain should have a tragic backstory, it should be the villain that is literally an insect and I am NOT joking!! Yes I get it’s about the absolute absurdity of him being an insect and a villain, but I’m an entomology freak!!

Enough of fleshing out the clown!! It’s worm time!! I like the parallels they kind of tried to give between him and Billy in it too? I just don’t love that he’s not an alien anymore. That’s part of the appeal!

The version of him I love the most besides JLA is... Uhh, well, my personal version of him that I made. (: The ideal Mr. Mind!! The tragedy of his backstory from New 52, while still keeping him an alien! Not the exact same backstory but it’s STILL tragic, giving it connecting threads to J’onn’s backstory (you thought I could resist the venus and mars parallels!?). Keeping his insect characteristics while still letting him have his little glasses!! The best of both worlds!!

Honestly I feel like a lot of loving DC characters is... plucking your favorite parts from various continuities and creating your ultimate version of the character.

I think Mr. Mind has a lot of potential to be an interesting character, again I know it’s like... he is an evil worm hehe but UGHHH OK I LOVE BUGS SO MUCH AND I THINK WE CAN DO MORE WITH THEM!! I want to write a new version of him that explores the potential the concept of the character has...

It’s very similar to why I love Killer Moth so much, he is a character with a lot of potential and even the root of their characters I think is that they’re tired of being stepped on and underestimated, all packaged in a bug theme.

Anyways, Plankton was always my favorite Spongebob character so I hope that explains everything.

Favorite moment

Every moment he has in JLA. The whole episode with him and Superman and Lobo was so good. He’s so... casual. He’s just like HEHE I am a stinker. (: And Superman is like rolls his eyes. That was good I loved that.

Comics I still... have much to work through. But I did like in the Magiclands comic when he tried giving Billy the whole WE’RE NOT SO DIFFERENT YOU AND I speech. And I have like... no context for this, but I had read that bit where he... is with Superman and trying to talk down Lex from doing something super evil?? I liked that. (I also know that’s apparently not the original Mr. Mind but one of his children who is basically just him again and retains all of his memories)

Also the DC Super Friends comic where instead it’s Super VILLAINS and he is at the mad scientist convention!! LOOK AT HIM!!

By the way I cried when I saw him for the first time at the end of Shazam.

Idea for a story

Me, holding a folder full of papers and it’s all of my Mr. Mind development notes. Let’s not make this post longer than it already is.

Unpopular opinion

I think they should stick to him being an alien. That’s probably not an unpopular opinion. He’s not a popular character to begin with.

Also I prefer his basis being more off of caterpillars rather than worms, but I think from the beginning that’s what they were going with. I’m just a caterpillar lover and very specific.

Favorite relationship

Okay. Okay... A lot of this is uhhh stuff I made up for my own version of him and that universe.

So I hope it comes as a shock to absolutely nobody that him and Scarecrow naturally occur to me as a duo. I hope no one is surprised I saw the dubious lanky nightmare chemist and the evil science bug and said “Hold On. (:”

I’m not gonna delve into that too much mostly because I’m EMBARRASSED... but I think a guy obsessed with fear would see a ghastly evil little caterpillar, a BUG, which many people are afraid of!! And I think he would be like... hmm yeah I like this guy’s style actually.

And then there is The Possibility Of Parallels Between Him And J’onn And Superman. Admittedly, in my own writing I’ve found him more compelling as an enemy to them than of Captain Marvel!! My version of him retains him being the last of his kind (I haven’t read the comics where it actually happens but I know how it happens in canon verse I thiiiiink), but the cause is different. Very different. They are in similar situations... But Mr. Mind! Well, he is a very troubled caterpillar.

But also I want him to have a villain decay arc and become Billy’s accidental uncle.

And recently I’ve started fleshing out my version of Mr. Atom more and he’s ended up being the Toxitron to Mr. Mind’s Scalpel... which is to say his robot son. Like Doofenshmirtz and his robot son.

Favorite headcanon

Okay, I’m sorry, I’m the most embarrassing man on the planet. Yes I headcanon him as trans and gay.

Otherwise again this is a point where the post would get WAAAAYY too long because I have thought so much about him and my version of him.

[perryshmirtz-shipper713]

Movie Night

[Finally finished my last entry for Perryshmirtz Week this year. It took a while but I promised myself I would finish this year.]

[Hope everyone has a Happy New Year]

One More Day

Another day.

Another day with Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Perry could barely keep back his happiness.

It’s been a while since Heinz became Perry’s nemesis. He always loved recalling all the memories they had shared together. Learning more about Heinz, spending time with him, and even getting more and more closer to him, even though it was mostly thanks to their fights.

There were times the two got to hang out, just the two of them, without the need of their good versus evil routines. Perry admitted he loved those moments the most. He wondered if there would be more moments like that even with Heinz declaring he was renouncing evil completely.

He hoped so. Very deeply.

Perhaps tonight was a good sign that there would be more. Heinz had invited Perry to a private movie night. It was private due to only a few villains knowing about it. That sounded suspicious to Perry but Heinz assured him it was perfectly safe for them to go. He claimed he has seen other nemesis there with their partnered villains a few times and nothing bad every came from it.

“It’s open only once a month and tickets are cheap as well as the snacks!” Heinz explained excitingly. “There’s good movies playing too, though they are pirated so the quality isn’t that great.”

Perry raised an eyebrow to that fact.

Heinz shrugged his shoulders. “We’re villains. What’d you expect?”

Perry tugged at Heinz’s lab coat and gave a worried look.

“Oh!” Heinz realized. “I mean, they are villains. I’m definitely quitting all that, Perry. It’s just...” Heinz paused to find the right words. “this is kind of my last day as a villain, since tomorrow I’m officially turning in all my villain registration papers and license, so what better way to end it than with my own wonderful nemesis?”

Perry felt himself blush from that compliment.

“And...”Heinz continued a bit nervously. “There is the fact that if you bring your nemesis, you get free entry.”

Perry crossed his arms. Ruining the moment again. He huffed disappointedly.

Heinz suddenly picked up Perry and held him up. “But, you know...” he said with joy in his eyes. “Even if I had to pay or even if there was no private villain theater, I would love to spend this last night as a villain with my wonderful and unforgettable nemesis.”

Perry blushed again. Okay, at least he knows how to bring back the moment.

.....

Perry waited by the spot that Heinz told him would be the best and, especially, the safest. It wasn’t too far from the theater but not too close either. Heinz assured there had never been bad occurrences before but he still felt it would be safer if he shows up with Perry than have an OWCA agent just show up at an all villain event.

Perry checked and fixed up his fur for the fourth time this night. He had made sure his fur was looking even shinier than usual and feeling extra smooth. He couldn’t help but feel high hopes for tonight(like extra pets or something like that). He wasn’t sure if tonight he would finally confess to Heinz how much he loves him but he always liked to be prepared for any situation. Even if there would be no confessions tonight, if they could have fun like always, it will still be consider a win to Perry.

Perry was thinking of every situation that could happen tonight until Heinz had pulled up in a taxi.

“Perry the Platypus!” Heinz called out quickly.

Perry noticed that Heinz wasn’t wearing his usual lab coat, he just had his usual pants and black turtleneck shirt. He looked...good, Perry thought. He also wondered if it was a symbolic way for Heinz to show that he was really leaving his evil ways behind. Or maybe he just thought he would look good. Perry had no complaints.

Heinz sent off the taxi and told him to charge it on his tab. He turned to Perry and smiled happily. “I’m so glad you’re here Perry, safe and sound. To be honest, I was a bit worried since there is still a lot of villains near by and, well, maybe... you know, you might have changed your mind?”

Perry noticed the look of relief on Heinz’s face. He started to realize that maybe Heinz had the same worry he had, if they would still want to be around each other even with their nemesiship coming to an end?

Perry grabbed onto Heinz’s hand and smiled at him. It was his usual gentle smile that he would show Heinz to comfort him and simply say he is here for him. He wanted to assure his long-time nemesis (and hopefully soon-to-be lover) that he would always want to be around him. Even just being close by him makes him the happiest platypus ever.

Heinz gently squeezed Perry’s hand. It was always his way of showing that he loved when they held hands like this. It was never clear to Perry if it was cause Heinz found the agent’s strong hands to also be remarkably cute and soft feeling or because Heinz loved the way that Perry showed support to him especially in ways like this. Perry hoped it was most likely the latter but both reasons would be fine too (though he would prefer the words strong and skilled than cute and soft).

Heinz kept holding onto to Perry’s hand until they made it to the supposedly secret villain theater. To Perry, it just looked like an old and abandon building. It definitely gave “keep out” vibes. No wonder the tickets and food were cheap here.

“Oh, don’t look like that, Perry,” Heinz scoffed as he opened the creaky door and jester to Perry to come inside. “I know that it doesn’t look grand but it can’t grab too much attention since it is suppose to be a secret villain hideout. Though I did offer some ideas to make it look more evil than dirty,” Heinz mumbled the last part in a disappointed tone. “It’s much better inside.”

Perry went inside and examined himself. It was definitely looking more clean and a bit more fixed up but there were definitely parts that still gave off an unwelcoming tone.

“And by that I actually mean a bit better, Heinz confessed.

Suddenly a bright light flashed unto the two, blinding them from their front view. Perry could tell it was shining from a high ground and he quickly stood in front of Heinz, ready to protect him.

A deep voice emerged from the direction where Perry was sure the light was coming from. “Who goes there?”

“Hi, it’s me, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz,” Heinz announced quickly and a bit nervously as if he was aware of possible danger from this person. “Oh and I brought my nemesis, Agent Perry the Platypus.”

“Ah, yes, for the free movie night with your nemesis,” the mysterious person answered back. “Alright, you know the rules. Give space to each villain as to not start any fights, whether it be verbal or physical.”

“It’s mostly verbal,” Heinz whispered to Perry.

“And, most importantly,” they continued. “No trickery or traps or anything suspicious like that. Or there will be consequences.”

The bright light turned off. Perry’s eyes adjusted a bit to see a silhouette of a figure standing on a balcony that was ahead of them.

“Dire Consequences,” the figure said in a more deeper and sinister tone. Heinz nodded quickly seeming a bit shaken by that warning (or really a threat). Even Perry got a bit shaken but he stood his ground. He wanted Heinz and this suspicious stranger to know that he was ready to protect Heinz from anything and anyone.

The figure stepped back and started to disappear into the darkness. “Oh,” they called out before disappearing completely. “And no outside food or drinks please.”

Heinz nodded again and started to walk to another entrance ahead of them. He signaled Perry to follow along. Perry looked up at where mysterious figure had been standing. He was a bit worried if they really should continue since he didn’t know anything about this theater or the person running it. He looked at Heinz again and saw him smiling. Well, he shouldn’t let his guard down all completely but maybe this time he could lower it just a bit to relax. He wanted to enjoy this night with Heinz no matter what.

The two entered through. Perry looked around. It actually looked like a decent looking theater. The movie screen was big and bright, the chairs looked in good conditions and actually comfortable to sit on, and it was spacious enough to allow distance between each villain.

“This way to our seats, Perry the Platypus,” Heinz whispered. “I think I got us some pretty good seats.”

While Perry followed Heinz down the aisle , he looked around to observe the other villains who were here tonight. To his surprise, there were indeed other OWCA agents here too. It was still pretty dark with just the light from the movie screen illuminating the room a bit, but he was sure he could see Professor Poofenplotz and Agent Pinky sitting next to each other and even sharing a large popcorn. He than noticed Agent Silent G with his nemesis Dr. Diminutive and they actually looked like they were...cuddling?

Heinz did say that villains have brought their nemesis here before but it still surprised him to see his own coworkers around here and even being close and friendly with their assigned villains. Rumors spread a lot in the OWCA offices but Perry never heard even so much as a whisper of this place or what goes on here. He didn’t even know his other coworkers were this close with their own assigned villains.

He was still a bit surprised by what he was seeing but it slowly started to make sense to him. He didn’t exactly go ranting on about his close relationship with his nemesis to OWCA or anyone really. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by it, it’s just he was an agent so keeping things secret is just what he does. He kept most things precious to him a secret from others. His closeness with Heinz was no exception. Plus, the OWCA office can be filled with such gossip and he didn’t want to hear any negativity about his relationship with his Heinz Doofenshmirtz (or any negativity towards his Heinz).

As the two approached close to their seats, Perry caught a glimpse of Peter the Panda with his own nemesis, Professor Mystery. So they did patch things up, Perry thought as he remembered all the drama that happened between them and their nemesis.

Peter the Panda caught a glimpse of Perry, too. When he saw Heinz just ahead of him, he looked at Perry again and gave him a thumbs up.

Perry smirked at him as he moved closer to Heinz. He admitted that he still felt some remorse from the whole incident the three of them went through but Perry tried to be understanding. During that time, Peter had felt distant from his nemesis and Heinz was actually good company when you got use to him. Anyways, the three had settled their feelings and managed to fix their nemesiships.

Perry looked around one more time. Maybe what he felt for Heinz wasn’t anything bad or unethical. Maybe it was just what it really was. Love.

The two made it to their seats and sat next to each other. Perry started to unwind and relax into his seat. He was still going to be alert of his surroundings, but everything seemed safe, especially with other agents here, too. This will be enjoyable night after all.

Perry started to remember everything Heinz and him have been through together. The first rememberable day they met, the crazy fights and adventures they had, the moments they got closer and friendlier with each other (Perry secretly wished they would have gotten even more friendlier) and, especially, the moment when he realized he was actually in love with Heinz. The moment that happened, his life seemed to have gotten a bit more brighter and even happier.

It wasn’t like his life before wasn’t nice. He got to be a great agent (though he would admit OWCA sure needed some improvements) and he got a great family to go home to (though he admitted he would appreciate it if Cadence’s attitude would improve towards him). It was just Heinz was like an added piece to his happiness. He completed him. He liked that. He wanted Heinz in his life forever and he felt Heinz wanted that, too.

Heinz looked at Perry. He smiled at him as he reached over and grabbed his nemesis’ hand. “Thank you again for coming here. I can’t imagine a better way to end my life of evil than with the one who completely changed my life.”

Perry started to notice a blush emerge on Heinz’s face. Heinz always commented on how cute and adorable Perry was, but, at this moment, Perry thought Heinz was the most cutest, hands down. Perry placed his own hand on top of Heinz and gave a gentle squeeze.

Heinz looked away for a bit, looking like his face was getting even more redder. “Um, the movie is about to start. Why don’t I go get some snacks for us?”

As Heinz was getting up, Perry held onto Heinz’s hand and pulled him back to his seat. He then moved over and sat on top of Heinz’s lap. He cuddled happily against his soon-to-be ex-nemesis (and, with any luck, his soon-to-be lover) and smiled at Heinz with a loving look. He wanted to show Heinz that all he needed was him close by him. Just like this. Always.

Heinz looked loving back at Perry. “I guess we could get something to eat later. Right now, this is nice.”

The movie started to play. The two leaned back and watched happily together with the other villains and agents. And the night went on better than the two imagined. No traps or fights. Just the company of each other and the closeness the two always wanted.

Perry couldn’t wait for another day like this with his Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

[leathr-blr]

i really wish i understood the appeal of milo murphys law but i just can't get into it :-( I've tried watching it but it's just so painfully mid

(i’m very critical about mml here but i end it positively don’t worry. essay under the cut)

i watched milo murphy’s law with my best friend and roommate ( @herbi-cide ) which gave me a more positive experience with the show as a whole but there were so many times were it just felt like a slog. i hesitate to call it “filler” because it’s a pretty episodic show (though theres much more of a plot than pnf) but i don’t particularly find the laid back contained story episodes very engaging or funny most of the time. i’ve seen people (KEYAN *shakes fist*) say this roots from a lack luster premise, but i think that a premise is always as good as it’s execution. and a lot of mml executes like ass. it is straight up disastrous. like milo murphy himself walked through the writers room one day leaving the writers to salvage whatever scraps were left among the wreckage

im really not confident in dwampy’s ability to write a plot-driven show, i think it’s obvious that they’re comfort zone lies in episodic comedies. which is awesome, we all have our skills and comfort zones, phineas and ferb is so great at what it does for a reason. but i think this is very much to mml’s detriment. there is so much set up for great storylines and likable characters, and so many good ideas, but like, either they didn’t have time to do anything with them or just straight up didn’t know how. it is genuinely impressive how boring mml can get given its cast and world

i think people blame pnf too much for the decline of mml in season 2, doofenshmirtz is insufferable throughout most of it and all, but i think the pnf shoehoring hints to a larger problem that mml always had. it feels as if it’s uncomfortable with its own characters and world, like it’s afraid to commit, and i think that is very much dwampy’s sitcom-oriented writing style shining through in an ugly way

i see people praise mml for its story, but because of dwampy’s aversion to writing linear storytelling, it definitely ranges on the plot-light side of television. it’s not quite a sitcom, but there’s really not much story progression happening aside from a few world building episodes and big arcs like the aliens or the pistachions (which phineas and ferb also does better in the meap saga let’s be real, at least for the alien arc)

i don’t like comparing mml to phineas and ferb, but one fails so hard at the things the other achieves in spades that it’s kind of impossible not to compare them. i wouldn’t mind mml’s shitty storytelling as much if the plot-light episodes (which is most of them) were compelling. phineas and ferb has just as good as a premise as murphy’s law, if not less interesting, and does the character-driven sitcom filler infinitely better in every single way. it is rare i’ll ever be bored watching phineas and ferb, and ik comedy is subjective, but i think a lot of us can agree that phineas and ferb is overall just wittier and funnier in general than mml. mml is kind of forgettable! i’ll be real! i love it but it’s forgettable

i want mml to be its own unique thing sooo bad but especially in the second half it feels like there’s no reason i shouldn’t just turn it off and go watch phineas and ferb. it’s also frustrating because i know mml has the capability to be good, because the pistachion arc is gripping and well structured and generally super entertaining (one of the best experiences i’ve had watching a show with a friend), and there’s a lot of fantastic episodes and moments in there. which is why i’m so harsh on it, it’s disappointing!!

there’s dozens and dozens of ultra talented people who worked on milo murphy’s law (i’ve gone through so many storyboards and portfolios to look for more details about the artists who worked on it so can confirm these people are awesome) so i can only wonder if studio conditions / time crunches / other factors (disney bullshitery) had anything to do with how spectacularly mml fails in a lot of regards, but there’s an upside, and this is the biggest appeal of murphy’s law for me:

the milo murphy’s law fandom and by extent the dakavendish fandom is one of the best fandoms i’ve ever seen hands down, some of the most dedicated and passionate writers, artists and general fans continue to be active in the community and create awesome shit that is leagues better than anything in the source material. because mml presents so many good concepts but doesn’t deliver, it leaves a lot of room for fans to expand on them and make their own amazing stuff. and because they’re such a small community, and milo murphy’s law is widely remembered as “that show that came after phineas and ferb” or “that show keyan carlile didn’t like” they are very close knit and very very friendly. nicest ppl you’ll ever meet

if it weren’t for the fandom i would not give a single shit about milo murphy’s law, but the fans make the show and it’s characters so much more than they are in the source material. so no wonder i had such a good time watching it when i had my roommate to talk about it with! community adds context to art in a way that can change it entirely, especially in the age of the internet

so i will always recommend murphy’s law with that in mind. also, think of it this way: at least it’s not hamster and gretel. i’ll stand by my opinion that show sucks LMAO

[pilyarquitect]

"What makes you good enough?"

It took me a lot of time to have this done. Life become extremely busy for me, and also, I've an uncle who died very recently, he was married and had 10 children.

************************************

Heinz Doofenshmirtz would lie if he said he wasn’t nervous.

He was nervous, extremely nervous!

His daughter, his little girl was about to arrive with a boy she hoped he’ll approve to be her boyfriend. Actually, this was the boy’s idea, since he insisted, he wanted the father’s permission to date Vanessa.

Doof felt honored to hear the potential Vanessa’s boyfriend wanted to ask his permission to date her. That was more than what any other boyfriend his daughter had had ever done. Also, this gave him the chance to have a better cognizance of that boy and determinate if he was a good choice for his daughter.

In addition, in case Doof didn’t like this boy at all, he had his disintegrateinator ready to banish this boy from existence. He wouldn’t allow his daughter to date a boy he doesn’t approve, even if Vanessa assured she’ll date Ferb – what kind of name is Ferb anyway? – even if her father didn’t gave his permission.

Vanessa was really stubborn, something Doof was really proud of.

Heinz looked at the clock on the wall once again. Vanessa would arrive any time soon. In addition, Perry the Platypus came really soon that day, defeated him and left after Doof cursed him. This gave him time enough to have everything ready for when they-

“Dad? Dad, we’re here!”

Oh snap, they’re here! Okay doof, don’t mess anything. This is important to Vanessa. Doof approached to the new come people with a huge smile.

“Oh Vanessa! Welcome! Come, come, I’ve everything ready.”

He hugged his daughter and after that took a good look of the boy accompanying her. The boy was tall and specially well dressed – he probably thought that it was an especial occasion and it was better to dress like that. What truly caught Doof attention was the unusual color of the boy’s hair. It was green, and taking a better look, his head remember him an F… Oh, of course…

“Dad, I want to present you my boyfriend, Ferb.” Said Vanessa completely joyful while holding Ferb’s hand.

Doof smiled and cleared his throat.

“Ferb, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He stretched out his hand to Ferb. The boy shook his hand without a single word. That seemed a little weird to Doof.

“Don’t you talk?” he asked with confused voice.

Vanessa gliggled and put a hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder.

“He’s a man of just a few words.”

“Ah, I see…”

Oh okay, that was fair enough, at least for now. Doof hopped he’d have a chance to “test” how much good was this for his daughter.

Trying to conceal his inner purpose, Doof leaded the way to the center of the apartment. He took good care of put all his inventions in order so he wouldn’t seem a messy person. It didn’t go unnoticed to Heinz that Ferb’s eyes opened wide upon seeing all those inventions, so the boy had an interest on robotics and mechanics… that was a good think to Doof’s eyes.

At the center of the room, Doof had prepared a table perfectly set for them to have dinner. Heinz turned to look at his daughter and his guest.

“I’ve prepared you a very special dinner with very special Drusselstein meals.”

Vanessa frowned. Uh-oh, that wasn’t good…

“Dad, I told you Ferb is British,” she snapped “it would have been better to prepare British meals!”

Doof scratched the back of his neck with ashamed expression. Honestly, he had forgotten that detail. Even that, he had a credible explanation.

“I’m sorry Vanessa, when I programed Norm, I made him only capable to prepare Drusselstein meals, oh and desserts, but I didn’t program it to cook British meals.”

Vanessa’s gaze hardened.

“But-”

Vanessa stopped when felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked at her boyfriend who was smiling at her tenderly. The young women sighed and closed her eyes.

“Fine, if it’s okay with you Ferb, then let’s go to have diner.”

Okay, another point to Vanessa's would-be boyfriend. But Doof still had one test to run on that boy, the ultimate-super-test-inator. He’d do it after having dinner, preferably without Vanessa being there. Heinz tried during the dinner to be as kind and hospitable possible. He probably did it too much since even Vanessa gave him a couple of hard looks.

The plan was to test the boy after dinner, while Vanessa was occupied with anything. Doof truly wanted to test the boy. All what he had seen from far was good… but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to be sure he was allowing his daughter to date the best person possible for her.

Dinner finished. Heinz thought on a way to distract Vanessa so he would talk with Ferb. But maybe Vanessa guessed what he was thinking or maybe she just wanted to help her father after all what he had done for them, preparing the dinner and making his apartment look truly comfortable or maybe… she just wanted for them both to spend some time together and get to know each other. Well, whatever the reason was, Vanessa volunteered to wash all the dishes, and of course Norm offered to help her.

That was perfect! Now Doof could do what he wanted.

He looked at Ferb who was standing there, looking the door through where Vanessa disappeared from his sight. If the green-haired boy was nervous, he didn’t show up. Heinz smiled, time to start.

“So… Ferb, I’ve noticed earlier your surprised expression while watching all my inventions. Do you like mechanics?”

The youngest man simply nodded.

Okaaay, what was necessary to make Ferb talk? Heinz wasn’t exactly sure of how to make the boy talk, but he wouldn’t give up easily. No, we didn’t give up on trying to get control of three state area all this time, he wouldn’t give up with this boy.

Doof smiled. He made Ferb follow him to where he had his inventions. Ferb’s eyes widened again upon seeing all Doof’s inventions. The older man smiled. Finally, time arrived. He would test Ferb! Doofenshmirtz walked towards his disintegrateinator. He tried to act as casual as possible. He didn’t want to make Ferb run away after all.

“Well Ferb, do you like mechanics?” Doof was at his disintegrateinator side, but turned to look at Ferb so he wouldn’t notice what he was pretending.

The green haired boy nodded.

Well, Heinz guessed this nodding was one of Ferb’s way to show emotion, since this was more than what he did so far. He turned again and took his invention.

“I like mechanics too, and do inventions, and of course, keep all my inventions clean to ensure better performance of them.” He took a rag and began to “clean” his disintegrateinator. He looked at Ferb with a huge smile.

“But… this isn’t the reason why I took you here.” Ferb gave him a weird look, which just made Doof’s smile to increase.

“Look Ferb, I just want to know one thing from you. What makes you good enough?”

Ferb’s eyes widened.

“What makes you good enough to date my daughter?”

What happened next was something Doof didn’t even expect to happen.

“I just want to make Vanessa happy. If I manage to do that, then I think it’ll be prove that I’m good enough to her.”

Heinz was so surprised that he went out of words. He did expect any other answer, every scenario in his mind presented an entire speech talking about Ferb’s qualities. But he didn’t expect he would put his ability to make Vanessa happy as the prove he was asking for.

To know this boy was thinking first in Vanessa than in himself was prove enough to Doof that his daughter was in good hands.

He smiled tenderly to Ferb.

“Ferb, welcome to our family.”