#ii just think their characters are FASCINATING how they play off each other

[anonymouscatloaf]

"You know, he's the yin to my yang. He completes me."

So the funny part about Dan repeatedly calling Perry the yin to Doof's yang (besides the fact that he can just freestyle some Greek tragedy level bullshit about Doof & Perry's relationship on the fly for Radio Disney or an episode commentary track) is that at face value you might also be like, okay but why is Doof the "yang" (light) and Perry the "yin" (dark)?

I didn't say good vs evil because that's not what yin and yang are about. As a concept it's one of those terms from another language that have variable meanings in English depending on who's using it and why, but its most enduring interpretation - with the disclaimer that I am not a philosopher, just someone who is far too invested in overthinking relationships in a kid's cartoon - is the idea that they are opposing but complementary forces of the energy that the universe operates on.

It's a balance. According to Lao-Tzu, "everything is embedded in yin and embraces yang; through [vital energy] it reaches [harmony]". Two sides of the same coin, sun and moon, my other half - you get the idea. It's not hard to see why Perry and Doof are complementary but opposite; one can't exist without the other: Perry all but gives up evil when Doof has that brief dalliance with Peter; Perry has exactly two POV songs in the entire show and both of them relate to Doof, one of which explicitly states "[his] life, it seems, is empty" without Doof's scheming and he "gave [Perry's] life heroic cause"; and he straight up has no idea what to do with his life and makes the saddest platypus sound ever when Doof bans thwarting as Tri-Governor in LDOS.

On the other hand, Doof is a lot easier to see - partly because he actually talks (though Perry is actually one of the most facially expressive characters in the show - by necessity - though I digress). He's overt about his affections and very clingy (a result of childhood trauma and abuse/neglect by his parents) because Perry's his only real friend. He all but begs Perry to thwart him in that whale episode, he became really upset when Perry seemed to be helping him in the episode with the Dull-and-Boring-inator but was just using him to fix the problem with Phineas and Ferb, and he can't bear to leave Perry behind in Road to Danville, just to list a few sillier examples off the top of my head. Really, the entire B plot could be used as evidence.

(There's also the fun dynamic of Perry being an animal that has human-level sentience, and Doof being a human that was raised by animals - ocelots - during some of his formative years.)

So they're irrevocably intertwined. One of the most important characters in each other's life, according to Dan from SDCC 2015. The LDOS ending song even puts Perry smack dab in the middle of the Doofenshmirtz family with Heinz, Vanessa, and Norm - two other characters deeply wrapped up with Perry as a result of Doof himself. I mean, look at them:

Yeah, this was an excuse to make you look at one of my favorite scenes and witness Perry's hopelessly fond smile, not sorry.

Anyway, back to yin-yang. They were originally ascribed to just "day" and "night", and eventually came to also mean "movement" (because you work during the day), and "rest" (because you sleep at night). In terms of qi, they embody heaven and earth, and in the collection of essays of the Huainanzi, "yang is generated from yin and yin is generated from yang [...] sometimes there is life, sometimes there is death, that brings the myriad things to completion". Technical details of Chinese philosophy aside (which I'm sure exactly nobody is considering when they call someone the yin to their yang - it's really just the "you complete me" part), the words themselves also have various opposing definitions: positive/negative, active/passive, sun/moon, overt/covert, etc etc etc you get the idea.

In terms of their relationship, Doof has the more active role. He's one who makes the crazy inators and plots elaborate traps and monologues everyday; Perry usually just reacts to that accordingly. Doof play-acts at a lofty, larger-than-life "evil", while Perry keeps him grounded ("you are my rock" and "having you around just makes me feel, you know, safer"). Perry isn't necessarily a wholly passive character, but also, like, a lot of his plot is just Shit Happens and Perry Has to Deal With It. Doof is overt about his "evil" schemes and can't stand even white lies. Perry spends his entire life hiding aspects of himself and keeping secrets from his loved ones, and he has a whole song in CATU about being an unrecognized hero. One of these characters is living in the "dark" more than the other...

Doof is overflowing with emotions - most of them negative, but also love: so much so that his daughter feels smothered, because a lot of that love (while borne of good intentions) is misguided, and Doof fails to actually listen to her; it takes a few rocky starts (helped along by Perry himself) before they get to the point where Vanessa considers her dad a "misunderstood genius" and convinces him to give up evil. On the other hand, Perry keeps his cards close to his chest - it's not that he doesn't know how to emote (he clearly adores his boys in ATSD and he apparently is happy to hang out with Doof as a friend outside of his job enough that he has a whole wallet of photos of them just goofing off together), he doesn't because of necessity. He's better than anyone at separating his work life (fighting evil) from his pet life (pretending to be a mindless animal) from his personal life (how much he loves his family, watching his silly dramatic soaps, having a petty streak and sassing Monogram a bit, is genuine friends with Doof).

As a result, he is full of emotions he rarely gets to express - around the Flynn-Fletchers specifically, because Doof does know he's sentient, which is another reason I think they click. Doof gets the single-minded attention he never had; Perry gets the treatment as an equal he never had. They both gain a friendship, and a new sort of family. There's a part of their life imbalanced when the other isn't present.

The yin and the yang. They complete each other.

[withasideofshakespeare]

Dianthus's Histories Reviews! Part 1!

Once upon a time, I was a naive student who believed the "Shakespeare's histories are boring" narrative... oh, how things have changed... This year, I tasked myself with (re)reading the eight "major" Shakespeare history plays in order after reading 1 Henry IV (and seeing 2 Henry IV) and loving them. Here are my reviews in the order I read them, including one of my favorite lines from each play, an overall rating, a brief review, and a highlight from each play (below the cut)! SPOILER ALERT for all eight of the major history plays, but especially Richard II, Henry IV parts 1 & 2, and Henry V. The others are only mentioned in passing! Read with caution (even though they came out like 400 years ago...)

Richard II

Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs Make dust our paper, and with rainy eyes Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth. (III.ii.145-7)

Rating: 10/10 Boy, do I ever love this play! I read and watched it multiple times this year and found that I loved it more every single time. Richard's angst and beautiful verse speeches give Hamlet a run for his money! Richard is among my favorite characters in the entire canon, perfectly angsty, dramatic, fascinating, and (as with many of the histories' best characters) prophetic.

Although Shakespeare wrote these plays out of order, they're incredibly fun to read as a series (if you can look past some minor retcons) as if they all flow into one another both thematically and plot-wise. Richard II seems to predict the rest of the series with his death of kings/hollow crown speech, setting up the themes of cyclical violence, loss of identity, and grief that reoccur throughout the rest of the series.

Beneath the surface, it also includes some incredible peeks into the motives of characters (especially Hotspur, Northumberland, and Aumerle---who later appears as York in Henry V) who reappear in later plays. Looking back at Richard II after reading the rest of the histories broadened my lens from focusing on Richard's personal tragedy to seeing the other characters as complete and unique people as well, all living out plots that set up who they become later on. Hotspur's messy, rushed vow of allegiance to Bolingbroke, Northumberland's shadiness, and Aumerle's isolation by the end of the play all seem to inform their actions as they appear in future plays (and makes everything hit SO much harder in hindsight---seriously, the reread value of these plays is INSANE!)

Highlight: It's gotta be Act 3, Scene 2. Richard's utter devastation as he realizes that he has been utterly abandoned hurts to watch (and is impossible to look away from). It's a beautiful scene that rips my heart out every time I read/watch it.

Henry IV Part 1

By so much shall I falsify men's hopes, And like bright metal on a sullen ground, My reformation, glitt'ring o'er my fault, Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes Than that which hath no foil to set it off. I'll so offend to make offense a skill, Redeeming time when men think least I will. (I.ii.211-7).

Rating: 10,000/10

You could not begin to understand how much I love this play. I swear it isn't just because it was the first Shakespeare play I was in (as Hotspur!) or because Hal is frighteningly relatable as a young person suddenly burdened with the responsibilities of adult life or because it's insanely homoerotic or...

It's because of all of those things (and so much more) that this play is solidly one of my favorite Shakespeare plays of all time. Every single character, from the major players like Hotspur, Hal, Falstaff, and King Henry to those that only appear in a few scenes---Ned Poins, Edmund Mortimer, and Douglas---feels like a completely unique individual. The entire play is a masterpiece, perfectly executing its shifting perspectives between Hal & friends, Hotspur, and King Henry to create a constant state of engagement (and horror) from the audience. Even after rehearsing it a few hundred times and reading it outside the theater on multiple occasions, it still gives me whiplash. How quickly it shifts from Hal's silly (and sometimes uncomfortable) Eastcheap antics to the realities of brutal war without ever feeling tonally wrong is either a work of genius or an act of god (or both). Just about every single character is living out a personal tragedy of a thousand different flavors. Between Hotspur's impending doom and failing relationship with his wife, Kate, Hal and Falstaff's banter that begins to foreshadow Hal's eventual ascension to the throne, and King Henry's growing paranoia, it's almost hard to decide what to focus on!

Highlight: It's Act 5, Scene 4. Of course it is. It hurts me to say that because that's when Hotspur dies but the fact that he---constantly running his mouth throughout the play---is finally shut up by his own death and has his final words finished by Hal (who kills him)?! Yeah, I dunno who gave Shakespeare the right to do that but OUCH. (Close seconds to Hal and Falstaff's "play," Kate telling Hotspur he has PTSD in Elizabethean terms, Ned Poins and Hal's weird flirting, Hotspur shouting about poisoning the Prince of Wales in the King's palace... god, I love this play!)

As Hotspur says... I profess not talking! (And therefore, I will actually shut up, unlike somebody we know...)

Henry IV Part 2

For those that could speak low and tardily Would turn their perfection to abuse To seem like him; so that in speech, in gait, In diet, in affections of delight, In military rules, humors of blood, He was the mark and glass, copy and book, That fashion'd others. And him, O wonderous him! Miracle of men! him did you leave, Second to none, unseconded by you, To look upon the hideous god of war In disadvantage (II.iii.26-36).

Rating: 8/10

I will be the first to admit that this play drags a little for the first few acts, but it has enough strong scenes to make it well worth reading. Although to less success than part 1, it also tugs the reader between humor and horror. You get such wild transitions as Hal and Ned flirting weirdly in Hal's house to Kate Percy giving one of the greatest speeches in the entire canon as she laments her husband's death... seriously, these scenes are right next to each other and it works somehow? The final act really picks up steam with the absolutely heartbreaking death of Henry IV (and it's not even the major character death bit that makes it sad!) and the ascension of Hal as Henry V. Hal's rejection of Falstaff ("I know thee not, old man") is an absolute gut punch. As if Hotspur's death and Henry IV calling Hal a degenerate in the last play wasn't horrific enough, this is where I feel the absolute devastation of the history cycle kicks off. "High"light (ie. scene that nearly killed me the most): It's a tie between Kate's 2.3 lament for Hotspur and Act 4, Scene 5 (in which Henry IV dies). Augh. Hal thinking he's dead and begrudgingly putting on the crown only to get yelled at one last time by his dying father fucking kills me.

Henry V

Rating: 9/10

I think the King is but a man, as I am. The violet smells to him as it doth to me; the element shows to him as it doth to me; all his senses have but human conditions. His ceremonies laid by, in his nakedness, he appears but a man. (IV.i.101-5)

The tragedy of Henry V is not only (as the final chorus remarks) the fact that all of Hal's victories quickly become worthless after his (off-screen) death but that they never feel all that victorious in the first place. At a glance, it's easy to be blinded by the propagandistic glorious war that is such a major plot point in this play. It's definitely there---the famous Crispin's Day speech is incredible---but what I found most interesting in the context gathered from the other plays is how isolated Hal feels.

Without Falstaff and his merry band of drunken dumbasses (and pretty boys for Hal to flirt with), Hal feels so incredibly lonely. His imperialist project in France brings him glory at the expense of having an identity of his own. He is called by his title---"England"---and it's quite literal. He is a representation of a country, not a person. It doesn't matter how he feels about that. There's no time to think about it! And none of that forgives his war crimes or makes him any less terrifying... but it makes him feel so very human. And that brings us to our highlight: The cloak scene (Act 4, Scene 1) in which Hal disguises himself as a common soldier to mingle with his men. It's the most Hal-in-Part 1 vibe we get in this play---reminiscent of the 1H4 "I know you all" speech, his motivations are hazy again. Is this some roundabout way to raise morale or is this his way of having an identity crisis without losing a war over it? I can't say I'm quite sure. It's a beautiful, hilarious, and heartbreaking scene that makes this play not only a piece of pro-English, anti-French propaganda or a war story but a unique tragedy in which the loss isn't the protagonist's life but his identity.

[radellama]

29, 42, 58?

29. favourite film(s)

Whenever people ask my top choices, it's always these:

Gattaca - beautiful character driven narrative, low concept sci-fi, and dramatic all at once. I really liked this movie the first time I saw it as a young teen when there was a run of it on TV, and then we had to watch it for year 11 English and I was like 'yoooo I love this movie!' (but unfortunately we had to compare it to a piece of shit play called cosi which I was lowkey offended by the way they handled the subject matter, but I digress. Worst thing to write a comparative essay to🙄) I also took the opportunity to write the scene analysis I wanted to in uni while studying film, which is so fun cause there's such evocative imagery in the film, even if it's a bit in your face at times haha. I watched it a lot during lockdown, I think at least 20 times in the latter half of 2020. It's just a nice film I like it. And Andrew Niccol (writer/director) also wrote The Truman Show, which adds a fascinating layer when you look at both films together 😉

Napoleon Dynamite - this is just such a funny and quoteable movie, and every other moment makes me laugh, either at a visual gag, the dialogue or delivery of, or just out of endearment. There's some interesting points at just watching a slice of life type of movie like this, and when they're pulled off in such an entertaining way like this I reaaaally love the mundanety of it!

Daddy Day Care - childhood favourite, what can I say. I could probably quote 90% of the movie off the top of my head, so much is ingrained in my mind lmao. Like any time I come across anything laminated, or this iconic scene, or the 'loser, loser, looooser!!' that I do to my siblings often. Another down to earth, slice of life type movie. Also all the licenced songs in the soundtrack I associate with this movie, and being a Trekkie enhances the experience but isn't necessary lmao

Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan - brilliant fucking movie. I know most Trekkies say this is their fave, but I think this is mine for the series. I started a new tradition when I trans gendered and now watch it every year the night before my bday with some apple crumble and ice cream. Been going strong the past couple of years! I just love how tense the story can get when there's the chase and circling of each other when Khan decides to get his revenge, and the emotional highs and lows of the movie just hit. It's the perfect kind of drama for star trek, and I'm so glad Nicholas Meyer chose to bring back Khan as an antagonist and create such a rich and layered narrative to enjoy

42. favourite book(s)

Unwind - Niel Shusterman

I read this in the library of my last high school, the one I graduated from. I had already moved a couple of times and was incredibly socially anxious (still am, but not that bad anymore.. Usually) and didn't really try to make any friends cause I couldn't be bothered LMAO. Before I ended up with a nice couple of friends, I'd just go through the sci-fi and dystopian sections in the school library, and amidst all the schlock, THIS stood out and was genuinely a great read. I bought the box set for a past bday gift to self, but haven't had the time and remembering to read align to go through it again. The topics explored here are so fascinating and get dark and confronting in ways that were really great and harrowing to read as a 16/17 year old, and I look forward to reading it again.

Levius - Haruhisa Nakata

This is a manga I just took a chance on, seeing it on the shelf and really liking the art style. Flicking through the pages just confirmed that it was fucking gorgeous, and after buying and reading it, I'm soooo glad I did. Although I enjoy the sequel/continuation levius est as well, there's just something about the original run that hits harder, and it was sad to see some details of it changed and undone in est. Still, great manga and I wanna go through and read it again soon and try draw stuff for it maybe

Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

Childhood favourite, I read and reread all the Narnia books over and over as a little kid. I don't remember much anymore cause it's been years, but I should really pick them up again and see what changes now I've lived a bit more life. I remember really liking the horse and his boy in particular when I was a kid, which is funny to look back on... But I'm saying the chronicles as a whole lol can't stop me

Noragami - Adachitoka

Na na na na naaa I'm saying the whole manga series! I need to finish catching up with the manga (I was doing well reading them but then some health issues popped up and I couldn't read for so long and it made me sad, I'll get back to it soon hopefully 👊😔) but seriously. What a fucking fantastic story, I love the kind of.. religious inspired fantasy here, it was my favourite anime as a teen (and probably still is) cause a lot of the drama and plot points just feel so good. The characters are all so fun and I loved the main trio of yato, hiyori and yukine so much, but the extended ensemble cast are so great and it's really fun getting to know them and their histories...

58. description of my best friend

Reverse jerk off time 😏

We've been friends for so long and it's funny to think about how different the dynamics have been over the years. I remember when we were in every single elective class for some reason in year seven, even tho all the electives were supposed to have rotating students so we all got a chance to meet each other and not have the same students all together. We didn't talk to each other until a mutual friend at the time introduced us, but I remember we got along singing Smosh songs and would discuss (and argue) almost everything LMAO. We also got on due to our mutual interest in writing, and I remember a lot of times where we'd share little bits of our stories and even try write some stuff together.

All these years later and we're still doing that. It's been fun seeing how much you've changed over the years, and how that reflects in your story telling (tho you should write more) cause you've had some really interesting ideas for characters and stories and it's fun hearing them grow into what they've become. We definitely need to write and film stuff together at some stage, even if it takes a few years to get going lolll

You're funny, a bit cheeky, clever and way too tall. Can't wait for the next phone call where we just make noises for a few hours and then once it's 2 am start discussing deep character motivations, like "do you think they get horrrnnyyyyyyyy???" And make up silly shit that is not at all canon to our stories. Unless it is, just depends 😏

[doomboogie]

Uh 2021 Games List A Whole Year+ Late

Whoops, forgot about this since time hasn't been real for the last couple of years. I rank based on enjoyment of a game, not if the story or gameplay are particularly great, and to me a 3=pretty good. But it's a vague and nebulous system, it's all fake anyway. In order from March to December 2021:

Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire - ?/5

Obsidian Entertainment, 2018

A more quippy and light-hearted tone than its predecessor, it feels like a tabletop game with every character trying to outwit each other and make the snarkiest comment. Some people like that, I don't so much. The true interesting story of colonialism is kneecapped by the generic main plot involving gods that already had their time to shine in the first game. Combat is more polished and fun and the AI improved and the environments are gorgeous. Companions are interesting but have underdeveloped sidequests and awkwardly implemented romances, and some companions just drive me so crazy I couldn't stand to even hear them. The PC's background and opinions never felt relevant, even in places that they really should have been. I never finished this game, as the main plot simply could not grab me enough once it was all that was left. I loved PoE 1, but despite my disappointment with Deadfire I admit it's not a bad game, just not my jam. I didn't rank it because I want to revisit later, I think I can enjoy this game just not right now.

Persona 5 Royal - 1.5/5

Atlus, 2020

Much needed gameplay improvements and social additions are undermined by a thematically inconsistent final act and questionable character writing. The new characters are clunkily forced in resulting in a love 'em or hate 'em feeling, and a lingering thought that perhaps they should've been saved for a spin-off rather than tacked onto an already complete game.

Persona 5 Strikers - 3/5

Atlus, 2020

The Persona series' strongest sequel (Eternal Punishment doesn't count) focusing on the friendship between characters and slight rehashing of original game themes with a twist. The new characters introduced far exceed Royal's new additions, and meld into the exhisting cast with more ease. Overdone tropes and a particularly bad moral lesson regarding child abuse give a mixed-postive takeaway.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective - 5/5

Capcom, 2010

Oh, to live in a world where Ghost Trick got a million sequels instead of Ace Attorney. A fun puzzler with a cute gimmick and fascinating characters with stellar music and the best animation on the DS. A few eyeroll moments in the last hour may harsh my vibe a bit, but not much. Like most wacky detective games, it's more fun playing with other people instead of alone.

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines - 4.5/5

Troika Games, 2004

Considered a classic for a reason, with a myriad of roleplay opportunity, tons of interesting characters, and some of the best voice acting I've ever heard in a game. The latter half of the game is much less polished and a combat slog, but the first half more than makes up for it. I didn't appreciate the very aged early 00's humor, complete with some edginess and off-colour "jokes" - Chinatown is a bit of a Yikes. Still great fun, jank and all, and deserves a modern installment. Pour one out for the almost surely dead sequel; this franchise is truly cursed. On my biannual replay list.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution - 4/5

Eidos-Montréal, 2011

Adam Jensen is by far the most interesting protagonist in the Deus Ex series, and you can feel that this game's world is on the precipice of massive upheaval and change. It's the calm before the storm, and then when the storm hits it hits so hard. I love how there's no good ending in this game, I love how much it leans into media personalities influencing the minds of a populace, and I love the gold filter! Maybe I like this one more than the original Deus Ex because it takes place during the growing period between a modern world and the cyberpunk dystopia it's destined to become.

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided - 3/5

Eidos-Montréal, 2016

Opposite of the original Deus Ex, I expected this game to be bad due to its reputation. Perhaps that lowered expectation allowed me to be pleasantly surprised by it instead. The story isn't the best, and it desperately needs another game due to the abrupt ending, but the gameplay is a blast. Felt nice unleashing on the police once night fell. Prague is so so so fun to explore, probably one of my favorite game hubs I've ever played in. Still hoping for that third game to close out Adam's story.

Deus Ex - 2/5

Ion Storm, 2000

Maybe I'm just too much of an radical but nothing this game said felt very mindblowing or earth shattering. The gameplay was passable, stealth was fun, but I think I was just too late to the party on this one. The fandom needs to chill out on reccommending this to everyone as "the best game ever made", because it just creates expecations that won't be met. I obviously chose the "Dark Age" ending; I was surpsied, it assumes the worst of humanity and thinks we'll go back to the dark ages from losing technology that didn't exist prior to the 1910s. But again, maybe I'm just too much of an radical and can tell when the leftist ending is written to appear worse than it really would be. Honestly this feels like a game that a lot of libertarians built their entire personalities off of.

Crusader Kings II - 3.5/5

Paradox Entertainment, 2012-2018

A fun rpg hidden in a grand strategy game, and this wonderful combination has spoiled me for every other grand strategy. Base game is servicable but restrictive; DLC and mods are what make the game shine. Massive timesink game, never truly ends. The total for the many packs of DLC is quite expensive; I'm not a fan of Paradox's business model. Score lowered due to the DLC prices as well as bizarre mechanics with some inter-religious stuff. Does anybody actually take part in the Crusades in this game? I sure don't. Too busy plotting against my liege.

Bloodborne - 5/5

FromSoftware, 2015

I loved this game so much that I started a second character while still in the middle of my first playthrough. This game was the gateway to FromSoft titles for me, after years of being on the outside looking in. It's no longer my favorite Fromsoft title, but it will always have a place in my heart. Fighting the Bloody Crow is in my top 10 game moments, easily the most fun duel I've ever had. Also, the singing eyeball creatures are singing the Hunter's Dream melody! Marvelous.

A Plague Tale: Innocence - 1.5/5

Asobo Studio, 2019

If this were a tech demo that ended at the battlefield level I would have been far more entranced and liked it more. This game goes off the rails so hard in a way I can only roll my eyes at, and that's not accounting for the poor pacing and bizarre story choices. What could have been a simple story of survival and family turned into a circus of rats and murder. I don't understand how this is a darling for so many people.

Life Is Strange: True Colors - 1/5

Deck Nine, 2021

Goddammit. I wanted to like this game so much. Alex's powers are the most interesting of the LiS bunch, even if they're not explained all too well and often change the rules. Alex herself is fine enough - she's a bit of a dick, and has a personality that I enjoy seeing. But the game falls apart when it comes to story - the most interesting parts (Alex's past, her relationship with her brother and parents, the core mystery) are pushed aside in favor of larp sessions, aimless wandering, and a forced musical interlude at a festival. When the plot finally wakes back up it dives into a non-twist that was so predictable I was hoping it was a fakeout and then goes straight for completely ridiculous acts of human survivability. Alex should have died multiple times over in the last few hours of the game but miraculously walks off fatal injuries with nothing more than some aspirin and self-righteous spirit. This would be fine on its own, but the series has established what is and isn't survivable - characters in the first two games died from something that Alex shrugs off. The individual characters are some of the most interesting in the LiS series, but the story is easily the worst. I keep thinking of how good this could've been. Maybe next time Deck Nine will get it, but I'll miss Dontnod being at the helm. Also maybe I'm petty but I fucking *wish* there were small towns in the Colorado that were this diverse and inclusive where someone could get by on a meager wage. Ugh.

The Sims 4 - 2?/5

EA Games, 2015

Really only playable with mods and all the DLC. Can't believe it's still on live service in 2023.

Darkest Dungeon - 3.5/5

Red Hook Studios, 2015

Darkest Dungeon is probably my most "pick up, get bored, put down" game I've ever played. I like the conceit, I like the setting, I like the classes. I hate the grind. Even on Radiant Mode it becomes a slog after a while, but I was determined to see it through to the end. Which, as it turns out, wasn't to far off from my last "put down" spot years ago. I still think the grind is to the game's detriment, and overall I'm not a fan of vaguely Lovecraftian horror - Bloodborne is toeing that line for me - and the final four part dungeon has a brutally harsh gimmick that can blindside a player. However the final boss of this game was delightful. I kept Reynauld and Dismas in my rotation the whole game, and sent them both to the final boss. Only one returned. It was a heartbreaking moment, but a fitting one. I think the series should have ended here, to be honest.

Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye (DLC) - 3/5

Mobius Digital, 2021

As I write this I'm replaying the DLC, in hopes to enjoy it more than in 2021. Unfortunately I don't. The delightful puzzles and poignant moments are undercut by the unforgiving traversal of the new major area, a long return time, and a tedious stealth mechanic. The DLC itself is the length of a full game, and I commend Mobius for their creativity in an entirely new area in an already jam packed game. All that said, less fun Outer Wilds is still Outer Wilds, and that comes with a good time regardless. I just hope next time they leave the inky black stealth sections on the cutting room floor. Bummer we can't really tell any other hearthians about our discoveries :( I know Riebeck would like to learn about it.

Baldur's Gate Enhanced Edition - 3/5

Bioware (1998), Beamdog (2012)

Baldur's Gate is an odd game to me. I played through once, and found it aged and not that great; I used to have this rated as 2 stars. But I couldn't stop thinking about the game and ended up replaying a few months later and enjoying it a lot. So, I guess I like it? I don't know, maybe it's kind of like a sugary candy where you don't like it much but you keep eating because the sugar is addicting. Perhaps I merely craved a late 90s rpg. I'm fond of all the companions I took in those two save files, and that's one of the problems: too many companions, likely because the devs didn't expect players would care for them. But I do! I would die for Ajantis, nobody knows me like Khalid and Jaheira know me, and sure I guess Imoen can come along too. So long as she understands I like Xan and Coran more than her. Probably the second biggest untwist, after True Colors. Not a big fan of the chosen one narrative in any game, but it was the late 90s so I can forgive it.

Return of the Obra Dinn - 5/5

3909 LLC, 2018

This was the last game I played in 2021, on New Year's Eve. A single shot, 11 hours straight. I loved this game so much. I honestly don't have words other than I love it. I love the gimmick, I love the music, I love the various color palettes you can choose from, I love the investigation and detective work required from the player, I love learning the story in nonchronological pieces, I love how it's a tragedy and I love how there is truly nothing else like it on the market. I hope beyond hope that something will come close to the gameplay again, but I'm more than content with just this. Very thankful to have such a stellar game to end an otherwise bad year on.

[lockhartism]

Aerith and Tifa as Sephiroth’s Foils

There are a lot of moving pieces to Final Fantasy 7--something that has historically contributed to its infamous reputation of being confusing. But one consistent thematic pattern that FF7 utilizes is duality. Life and death. Meetings and partings. Loneliness and togetherness. Many of the main themes presented in FF7 fall into this same format. Even the characters can be considered dualities in and of themselves. One of the most obvious dualities in the game is that of Aerith and Sephiroth. However, in varying degrees, all of the main characters are in some way antithetical to Sephiroth.

Like in many other classic hero vs. villain tales, you’d think that Cloud is the perfect foil to Sephiroth--after all, they’re at odds, so it would make sense that they’d be opposites. However, what makes Cloud and Sephiroth’s conflict so fascinating is that they actually have a good amount in common. Both Cloud and Sephiroth struggle with their identities. They also experienced trauma and loneliness in the past, and tended to isolate themselves from others. It’s this commonality that actually makes them compelling rivals, as Cloud not only has to battle Sephiroth, but also the aspects of Sephiroth that Cloud himself struggles with.

The real foils of Sephiroth are Aerith and Tifa. While there is some debate as to whether Aerith or Tifa is the real heroine of FF7 (mostly spear-headed by weird LTD-pushers), the big-brained answer is that they’re both the heroines. This is evident in concept art from an older FF7 Ultimania, pictured below: 

As you can see, the concept for the story’s heroine started out as a hybrid of Tifa and Aerith. The character’s design resembles Tifa, and the name below the sketch reads “ティファ”, or Tifa. However, the character’s role was very different. She was intended to be both the childhood friend of Cloud Strife and a Cetra, the sister of Sephiroth (who originally looked more like Vincent). Eventually, the idea to kill off one of the main characters was introduced, and the role of the heroine was split in two: the Cetra, Aerith, and the childhood friend, Tifa. There is some evidence of the original concept still present in the series; Tifa’s iconic red eyes match Vincent’s, because originally, the two characters were designed to be siblings before eventually going to separate roles.

Based on this evidence, it would seem logical that both Aerith and Tifa retained their dualities with Sephiroth. And, indeed, even in the final product, both characters provide a foil for Sephiroth to balance the scales.

To exemplify the dynamic that Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, and Sephiroth have with one another, I’ve drawn a (crude) spectrum:

Obviously, Aerith and Tifa play different roles and have different importance to the story. Aerith’s role is more “big picture”, so to speak. She is responsible for the Planet and for protecting it from Sephiroth after discovering his plans to destroy it. Tifa’s role is more fine-tuned and detailed. She is the rock and the only stable element of the Nibelheim story, a key part of Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth’s backstories. To understand how each of them foils Sephiroth, we have to look at them individually and analyze how they interact with both Sephiroth and Cloud.

Part I: Aerith as Sephiroth’s Foil

As stated above, Aerith’s role as foil is a little more obvious. Sephiroth and Aerith are both “Cetra”--or, at the very least, they both claim to be. For Sephiroth, his identity as a Cetra is tied to his belief that Jenova, his “mother”, was a Cetra who was betrayed by humanity when humans left the traditional Cetra nomadic lifestyle in order to colonize the land and the Planet. 

However, Jenova was not a Cetra at all--she was actually a “calamity from the skies” that crashed down and created the Northern Crater two thousand years before the events of FF7. After encountering the Cetra, the creature known as Jenova began infecting and killing the Cetra one by one. These killings only stopped when the Cetra banded together to seal Jenova in the Northern Crater; but, by the time it was done, the Cetra were dying off.

So how did Jenova become known as a Cetra? That seems like more than a clerical error to me. It was actually Aerith’s father, Professor Gast, who uncovered Jenova from the Northern Crater and mistakenly identified her as a Cetra. The Shinra Corporation, desperate to find the Cetra’s “Promised Land” thinking that it would be rich in Mako energy, enlisted the professor to find a way to create a Cetra from a human specimen. Using the cells extracted from Jenova, Sephiroth was created, and after reading Shinra’s archives, he discovered his relationship to Jenova and embraced his identity as “Cetra”. 

Aerith, on the other hand, really is a Cetra. Her mother, Ifalna, was the last Cetra--making Aerith, by relation, half-Cetra. Her connection to the Cetra race is real, unlike Sephiroth’s.

This give her declaration in the final chapter of FF7 Remake all the more important:

There’s a duality between Aerith and Sephiroth in truth versus lies. Aerith’s heritage as a Cetra is founded in truth. She is connected to the Planet in a way that is real. She is a Cetra, in covenant with the Planet to protect it that was passed down to her by her mother. In contrast, Sephiroth’s claims to be a Cetra are lies--whether he’s aware of it or not. Jenova, Sephiroth’s “mother”, is not a Cetra. She is not even from the Planet, but rather from somewhere beyond it. Jenova acted as a parasite of the Planet and is actually responsible for sending it into chaos and draining it of its life. He has no real obligation to protect the Planet, and he is not truly connected to it the way that Aerith is.

Aerith and Sephiroth also represent the original duality between the Cetra and Jenova, with both parties continuing to be at odds with one another even two thousand years later.

Tying in a more overarching FF7 theme, Aerith and Sephiroth also personify the duality of life and death, respectively. With Aerith, her “domain” of sorts, the Sector 5 church, is bursting with life. It is the only place in Midgar where flowers will grow. Even gameplay-wise, she is a healer, and is constantly giving life to other characters in the party. Sephiroth, on the other hand, only destroys. He set fire to Nibelheim and killed the townspeople, including Cloud’s mother and Tifa’s father. Cloud even notes his strength while recounting his version of the events in Nibelheim.

Cloud: “Sephiroth's strength is unreal. He is far stronger in reality than any story you might have heard about him.”

Therefore, Aerith and Sephiroth represent two different dualities: life versus death, and truth versus lies.

Part II: Tifa as Sephiroth’s Foil

Tifa’s role as foil to Sephiroth is more understated but nevertheless important, especially in the latter half of the story. Tifa, Cloud, and Sephiroth are the only survivors of the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth burned the town of Nibelheim to the ground and killed the townspeople after discovering his “Cetra” heritage. However, Cloud’s memories are clouded due to his trauma and the Mako poisoning he endured during the five-year gap between the Nibelheim incident and the start of FF7; and Sephiroth purposefully twists the truth in order to weaken Cloud’s already-fragile mental state. Therefore, the only one who can decipher what’s true and what’s not is Tifa.

Like Aerith, Tifa also represents the truth, while Sephiroth represents lies and deceit. This is very evident in this scene that takes place in the Northern Crater, and again in a scene during Tifa’s journey into Cloud’s mind. In the Northern Crater, Sephiroth tries to convince Cloud that he was never real, and that all of his childhood memories, even the ones he shared with Tifa, were fabricated.

Sephiroth: “You are just a puppet... You have no heart... and cannot feel any pain... How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being? What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion. [...] Five years ago you were... constructed by Hojo, piece by piece, right after Nibelheim was burnt. A puppet made up of vibrant Jenova cells, her knowledge, and the power of Mako. An incomplete Sephiroth-clone. Not even given a number. ...That is your reality.”

Sephiroth, at first, succeeds in convincing Cloud that he is not the “real” Cloud but rather someone who never existed, who never grew up in Nibelheim, and who clung on to fake memories as a means to cope with that fact. However, later in the Lifestream, Tifa expresses a different sentiment:

Tifa: “Sephiroth once said... Cloud made up his memories by listening to my stories... Did you imagine this sky? No, you remembered it. That night the stars were gorgeous. It was just Cloud and I. We talked at the well... That's why I continued to believe that you were the real Cloud. I still believe you're the Cloud from Nibelheim...”

By reminding Cloud of a memory they both share--a true memory--she is able to provide a solid ground, wherein Cloud can begin to rebuild his true self after falling for Sephiroth’s deception.

Obviously, Tifa’s relationship with the truth is complicated, and she herself suffers from her own self doubt throughout the story. But in this defining moment, Tifa finally realizes without a doubt what the truth is, and together both Cloud and Tifa are able to reconstruct what really happened in Nibelheim and solve the mystery once and for all.

But this duality isn’t simply about truth versus lies. It’s also about hope versus despair. In deceiving Cloud, Sephiroth strips him of all his hope. Cloud is filled with such fundamental despair that he can’t see the truth and believe that he is indeed an experiment created by Hojo. Tifa, in contrast, provides him with hope when she affirms his memories with her own. Separately, Tifa’s resolve to continue the team’s journey without Cloud is another example of her hope in the face of Sephiroth’s despair.

The idea of hope versus despair in Sephiroth and Tifa is exemplified in Kingdom Hearts (although KH is not canonically related to FF7, I think it’s a neat little call back):

Tifa: “Cloud, you can have my light.”

In Kingdom Hearts II, Sephiroth represents Cloud’s darkness, while Tifa represents Cloud’s light. This is a similar dichotomy to truth versus lies, metaphorically, where Sephiroth is “casting shadows” on the truth, and Tifa is “shedding light” on what really happened. (Okay, sorry for the puns!)

Another duality that Tifa and Sephiroth represent is the dual meaning of reunion in the context of FF7. It’s common knowledge among FFVII fans at this point, but to everyone who’s playing for the first time or who has recently picked up the franchise and not gotten all caught up yet, Sephiroth talks a lot about “the Reunion”.  Like, a lot.  Sephiroth’s “reunion” is a reference to the Reunion Theory, a scientific theory posited by Professor Hojo that states that Jenova’s cells--once separated from their host, i.e. Jenova--will seek out the main body.  This makes everyone who has ever been injected with Jenova’s cells essentially part of a massive Jenova hive mind, with the primary goal to eventually reunite with Jenova.

Obviously, this is a bad thing for Cloud, who was exposed to Jenova cells and is thus connected to Sephiroth.

However, Cloud and Tifa also have a reunion at the beginning of the story--a reunion between friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time. Unlike Sephiroth’s reunion, this is a positive thing. Cloud and Tifa, on multiple occasions, discuss “meeting again” and “finding each other” after so many years apart. Even after they reconstruct Cloud’s memories, he says:

Cloud: “Yeah...... Tifa...... We finally...... meet again......”

Sephiroth’s reunion with Cloud leads him astray from the path; Tifa’s reunion with Cloud sets thing right again. One reunion destroys Cloud’s perception of what’s real, and the other helps him to find the truth once again. Reunion changes meaning with Sephiroth and Tifa, and these opposing definitions of what “reunion” is make Tifa and Sephiroth perfect foils.

Part III: Final Thoughts

Part of what makes Sephiroth such a compelling villain are the striking similarities he shares with the protagonist Cloud Strife. In the original storyboard for FF7, Tifa and Aerith shared a role as the main heroine and the perfect foil for Sephiroth. But even after the role was separated into two distinct characters, the characteristics that made each one of them a foil to Sephiroth remained. For unique reasons, they balance the scales, providing an anchor of “good” to counteract the badness of the story’s main antagonist. 

That’s all I have to say about it! I’ve been thinking a lot about Tifa and Aerith’s unique roles in the story as deuteragonists, or dual heroines, and how they both represent antitheses to Sephiroth. I figured I share my thoughts!

[librarian-of-orynth]

Just a bit about Hamilton

Listening to Hamilton is one thing. Watching it is another entirely. 

Let’s talk about what we get from the music. Sure, most of the story is told, but we (at least, I) assumed that a majority of the time, each character was telling their own story. It was all a general perspective. Without any visual cues, we only saw part of the story, part of the magic of Hamilton. 

Yesterday, as I watched the production, I found myself tearing up for a majority of the show. Hamilton is a work of art. And yes, of course I recognize the criticisms of the show and they are valid, but I also find the commentary of the show itself fascinating. Lin-Manuel Miranda created a masterpiece, and watching it for the first time yesterday, I could truly see that. 

Now onto Aaron Burr. As high schoolers, most of us knew him as the guy who killed Hamilton in a duel. Emphasis on the duel. I distinctly remember talking about the duel in my A.P. US history class far more than the man behind the gun. 

Hamilton changes this.

The show opens with Burr directly addressing the audience, asking them a rhetorical question they’ll eventually have answered mere minutes later. This sets him up as the narrator; it’s his lens we’re seeing the story through. Listening to the soundtrack, I didn’t realize this. It took watching the story, watching the times Burr watches the story around him, even interacting with others as if he knows how the conversation is going to go already. 

As the show continues, it becomes more obvious that Burr is the one telling the story of Alexander Hamilton’s legacy. This is especially clear at the end, when he’s telling the audience to “look it up Hamilton was wearing his glasses.” He’s trying to justify his actions, to try to show he’s not a monster. He was trying to protect his family, and was unwilling to take the risk. Even so, he still sounds remorseful. As if wanting to take back his actions.

After Hamilton’s death, Burr goes on to narrate the aftermath, continuing until Eliza takes over. At that point, Eliza is the one preserving and continuing his legacy. The exchange of narration, however, is telling. Though Eliza was sharing his legacy and ensuring it endured, so was Burr by telling the story. By being the one to narrate it, to share it, despite having also been the man that killed him. 

It’s as if Burr wishes to make up for killing Hamilton by making sure that he shares and continues his legacy. He’s repenting for his sin. The only way to see this, though, is by watching the musical. Though you can hear the emotion in Burr’s voice in the songs, seeing his reactions is the only way to truly capture the full story. 

Hamilton is a reflection of Burr’s life as much as it is Hamilton’s. As the musical progresses, this becomes more obvious. Burr continues to address the audience, again asking questions and wondering why he continues to be inadequate when compared to Hamilton. 

I mean, it’s obvious they’re foils of one another. Burr is unwilling to pick a side, unwilling to take a stand; Hamilton, however, is strong in his values and believes you must pick a side and stay strong in your convictions. He is unwilling to play the game of politics in the way that Burr does. Hell, they’re even divided on the nature of duels. Where Hamilton thinks the duel with Charles Lee is necessary, for example, Burr finds ridiculous. What’s interesting, though, is by Act II, they seem to have switched their beliefs entirely. When Burr chooses to shoot Hamilton, he is taking a side. He’s taking a stand via duel, something he previously believed to be absurd. Hamilton, however, aims upward, choosing this instead of risking the life of his opponent by shooting him. His actions further indicate he’s unwilling to kill someone in a duel, something he likely would have been more than willing to do in Act I. These characters have been developed so well that they are perfect foils of one another. It’s impressive. 

Hamilton’s always impressed me. I remember hearing about it and thinking I’d be the only one interested (I’d recently gone through a phase where I was obsessed with Alexander Hamilton. I don’t know or understand why. I blame APUSH junior year). When I saw Hamilton take off, I was delighted. And to finally have the opportunity to see it now, years later, after having sung the soundtrack countless times? It’s incredible. 

[clonewarsarchives]

Inside 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'

By: Gerri Miller  (original article link on howstuffworks)

Sources

George Lucas interviewed August 4, 2008

Dave Filoni interviewed September 11, 2008

The sci-fi phenomenon that began more than 30 years ago with a movie about a galaxy long ago and far, far away has expanded exponentially ever since with sequels, prequels, books, games and animated spinoffs. Although the animated "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" movie, released this summer, has to date grossed a less than stellar $34 million, it was an offshoot of creator George Lucas' mission to create a TV series, and it served its purpose as a promotional tool for the weekly "Clone Wars" episodes that premiere on Cartoon Network Oct. 3, 2008.

Focused on the conflict briefly referred to in the original "Star Wars," the galactic civil war takes place in the period between "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" and "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." The Clone Wars pit the Grand Army of the Republic led by the Jedi Knights against the Separatists and their Droid Army, led by Count Dooku, a Jedi turned Sith Lord aligned with the evil Darth Sidious. Many of the characters from the "Star Wars" universe are involved, including Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and young Anakin Skywalker, before he was tempted to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader.

"I was lamenting the fact that in 'Episode II,' I started the Clone Wars, and in 'Episode III,' I ended the Clone Wars, and I never actually got to do anything on the Clone Wars," says Lucas. "It's like skipping over World War II."

To remedy that omission, he tapped Dave Filoni, an animator (Nickelodeon's "Avatar: the Last Airbender" series) and passionate "Star Wars" fan, to bring "The Clone Wars" to TV.

Ensconced at Big Rock Ranch, near Lucas' Skywalker Ranch headquarters in Marin County, Cali., Filoni and his team of artists and computer animators are making 22 episodes in season one and have nearly two more seasons written.

"We're way ahead. We've been doing this ever since I finished 'Revenge of the Sith,'" says Lucas, who hopes to do at least 100 installments.

He and Filoni collaborate on everything from story to design to execution in translating the "Star Wars" universe for television. It's a daunting creative, technical and logistic task, as we'll explain in the following sections.

Building the Universe

How do you scale down an IMAX-size spectacle for television and still have it make an impact, especially on a small screen budget? That's just one of the problems Dave Filoni has to solve.

"'Star Wars' is very famous for the scale of it, and how convincing it looks. So when you're doing a weekly television series, you have to figure out how to do things on that level," he notes. "Sometimes it forces you to be creative and come up with solutions that are better than if you can shoot everything you want," he continues, preferring to consider budgetary constraints a creative incentive rather than a limitation. "The team here is challenged to come up with these giant battles. We haven't shied away from anything."

While he did some of the initial character design, subsequently, Filoni has spent most of his time supervising other artists and animators, who number around 70 in-house and another 80 or so at facilities in Singapore and Taipei.

"Everything is written here, and the story and design and editing are all done here. The animation and lighting are done overseas, and sometimes some modeling as well," he outlines.

­"I meet with George to talk about the episodes and he hands out a lot of the storylines and main ideas for the stories. I'll draw while he's talking and show him the sketch," Filoni continues. "That way we communicate right off the bat about what something might look like."

At any given time, the director notes, episodes are in various stages of completion, "from designing to working on a final cut, or adding sound and color-correction. I have four episodic directors to help me, who each have an episode they're managing."

Rather than use computer animation to duplicate the live-action films' characters or continue in the very stylized vein of the 2004-2005 "Clone Wars" micro-series, "We kind of shot for the middle," says Filoni, who endeavored to blend a 2-D esthetic with 3-D technology.

"The 3-D model makers and riggers who worked on the prequels dealt with the height of realism to create convincing digital characters. I knew that we weren't going to be able to do that for the series. And we wanted it to be different than a live-action feature, to get away from photo-realism. It was a choice to simplify something in the character models, the same way we would do things in a 2-D show."

So how did Filoni stay true to the "Star Wars" legacy in this newest installment? Read on to find out.

Clone Style

Taking some inspiration from the earlier cartoon series, Filoni

approached the characters as a 2-D animator would, "but stylized the face a little more. If you look at Anakin, he has certain edges and lines in his face. I would draw an edge or a line that might be unnaturally straight or curved, and that would play into the lighting of it. I tried to sculpt in 3-D the way I would draw or sculpt an image in 2-D, with shadow and light. I wanted it to look like a painting -- you see a textured, hand-painted style on every character. I have texture artists who literally paint every single character right down to their eyeball, because I wanted that human touch on everything."

Advances in computer animation have allowed Filoni to accomplish much more than he would have been able to in traditional 2-D. "For eight years I worked just with a pencil. I never touched a computer. But working with George, we try to look at computers as an incredibly advanced pencil. The technical side helps the creative, artistic side," he says.

Battles filled with huge numbers of soldiers can be rendered faster than ever before, but they still have to be created, along with every other prop and character in an enormous universe. "'Star Wars' is so complex in that you're building a whole galaxy. We go to many different planets," Filoni reminds. "So every rock, tree, blade of grass, native vehicle -- every asset -- needs design. We had to create a whole bunch of assets for each episode, and the budget goes up for each element you have. Once you build it, you have it, but we can't go to a different planet and have the same chair there," he laughs. "On a schedule where we need those things right away, it's difficult to get it all built."

Since "The Clone Wars" is chronologically sandwiched between "Clone Wars" and "Revenge of the Sith," it has been a mandate for the creators to stay consistent with the mythology. "That's probably one of the trickiest things," admits Filoni. "We always have to keep in mind what the characters are thinking and feeling at the beginning of this and at the end. You have a lot of room to play with when you're in the middle, but you have to remember what people say in the third movie. With characters like Obi-Wan or Anakin or Padme, I have to pay very careful attention that it will hook up. And then there's the expanded universe of "Star Wars" novels and video games. I try to be aware of it all and work it in, because fans really appreciate it."

Filoni hopes to attract existing fans and create new ones, especially among the younger generation, but admits doing the latter may be easier. "One thing we have that's different from any movie that came before is we're an animated series. But there's an instant reaction to the word animation that it's for kids. How you get around that is with the stories you tell. We'll have our snow battles and we'll also have our lighter 'Return of the Jedi' moments. Some episodes lean older, some younger. But in the end it has a broad appeal," he believes.

The recent "Clone Wars" movie (out on DVD Nov. 11 ) served as a stand-alone prequel to introduce the characters at this point in time. In contrast, "The series has its small arcs and shows you the war from across a broad spectrum of episodes. It's not just Anakin Skywalker's story," Filoni underlines. "We can go left or right of that plot and deal with characters we have never seen. There's a lot of material. It's a three-year period in the history of the 'Star Wars' Universe, and there are so many stories to tell. The longer it goes, the more chance we get to tell fascinating stories in that galaxy."

Character Study

"The Clone Wars" shows a different side of some of the film franchise's most iconic characters. "In a series, you can do a whole episode about a character and learn more about what they were like, which makes what happens to them a lot more poignant," explains Filoni. "We know Yoda is powerful, but how does that power develop? How does he use it? We get to go into more detail that you just couldn't do in the live action films, because they're mainly focused on Anakin."

While few of the actors from the live action movies agreed to reprise their roles in voice over for "The Clone Wars," Anthony Daniels, the original C-3PO, is the exception. "One of the special moments for me was hearing Anthony on the telephone, discussing C-3PO with me and his experiences. That really helps us round out the characters," says the director, who enjoyed similar input from Rob Coleman, the animation supervisor who worked on Yoda on the prequels.

Of the new characters not seen in the live action series, there's the alluring but venomous Asajj Ventress, a disciple of Count Dooku. "She is, of course, a villain, and fits into the structure of the Sith," Filoni elaborates. "Darth Sidious -- Senator Palpatine -- is the main bad guy, and his apprentice is Count Dooku. Dooku is training Ventress in the Dark Side. She's getting more powerful. I wanted to make her intelligent, deceptive and also kind of sexual. She's kind of a forbidden fruit -- Jedi are not supposed to get involved with the more lustful aspects of life. She adds another dynamic to the series."

On the other side of the good/evil coin is newcomer Ahsoka Tano, Anakin's teenage pad­awan, or apprentice. "She's Anakin's student and helps us see him as more of a hero," says Filoni. "Once he gets over his initial reaction, he takes pride in her. He's unpredictable and the Jedi know that, but he has compassion and that is used against him and it later brings him to the Dark Side."

Ahsoka was created, says Lucas, "Because I needed to mature Anakin. The best way to get somebody to become responsible and mature is to have them become a parent or a teacher. You have to think about what you're doing and set an example. You look at your behavior and the way you do things much differently. The idea was to use her to make Anakin become more mature. We've made her a more extreme version of what Anakin was- - a little out there, independent, vital and full of life, but even more so. He gets a little dose of his own medicine."

"She's been a really fun character to develop," adds Filoni, who likes Ahsoka but admits that his character tastes tend to run a bit more obscure -- his favorite is Plo Koon, "a bizarre Jedi Master. It's been fun to develop him and show his personality beyond the fact that he's bizarre looking and carries a lightsaber."

Fan Fare

Just three years ago, Filoni dressed up as Plo Koon to see an opening night showing of "Revenge of the Sith," so it's not surprising that the 34-year-old fan is still pinching himself that he has this job. "It's a very creative atmosphere," he says of Big Rock Ranch, where the lakeside setting is "meant to inspire us artistically and definitely does. A lot of the people I work with grew up with 'Star Wars,' so we have a great time. It's hard, intense work, but George is very engaged in what we're doing. What more could you ask for? I have the guy who created the 'Star Wars' universe excited and interested in what we're doing. We couldn't be happier about that."

Asked why he thinks "Star Wars" remains a fan favorite today, three decades later, Lucas says diversification is the key. "We were always able to deal with different aspects of the story in various forms and I think that keeps it alive. It is a lot of fun and it's a universe that has been created to inspire young people to exercise their imagination and inspire them to be creative, and I think that always works."

"The original 'Star Wars' had broad appeal to everybody, and it holds up so well," adds Filoni. "I think there's a timelessness to it, even though Luke looks like a kid from the '70s with that haircut. Luke is a farmer boy and Han is a cowboy. Jedi Knights are like the samurai of Japan or the knights of Europe. Those archetypes work the globe over. It's a world phenomenon that speaks to everyone. There will always be a character you can relate to."

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Odi et Amo II

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior  

Catullus, 85

After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and  accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?

pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

genre: actor au

warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 5764

A/N: It was supposed to be published last week, but I was unhappy with it and ended up rewriting it/adding some things. Sorry! (*_ _)人 P.S Sorry for my grammatical errors! Enjoy!

Chapter I

***

Currently sitting in front of your manager you eyed him. He seemed tired and you felt a pang of conscience it was probably because of your tweets last night and you wouldn’t even think of meeting him if you weren’t in dire need of getaway from the uncomfortable conversation with your neighbor. You didn’t meet in your agency’s building since both of you despised the place even though it was a new and flashy building made out of something that looked like a white marble. Both of you agreed on meeting outside it, so you were sitting in the café nearby while wondering how did your shitty boss manage to rent it. Last time you’ve been here, it was a few rooms in shabby, old building. You shivered while imagining going in, that place had an evil aura even from across the street.

"Where did you get all that money to rent it?" you asked.

"We actually bought it." 

"Well, business goes well then."

"Actually we are only able thanks to your movies. Don’t tell Kim Pd-nim I told you, he thinks you'll become arrogant."

"I already am." You smiled coldly.

"That's what I told him."

Your manager had a sarcastic smirk on. Both of you and hated your CEO and even mentioning him would bring up unpleasant memories. Kim Sanghoon was one of those bosses who wouldn't even think about trying to help idols and stars that were bringing him money. No matter what it was — crazy fans destroying your life, death threats, your collapsing mental health he didn’t care. Once you were attacked by media and netizens you were on your own and if it was too much for the company your contract was terminated. You often wondered when would you become too much for them to handle.

"How do you feel?" Your manager caught you off guard, even though you had known each other for a long time there was an unspoken rule between you not to talk about other things than work.

"Honesty..I'm fine I don't understand why everyone asks me that." You huffed a bit irritated and run fingers through your hair. 

"Well it's just.. I know it was important to you and you worked hard to earn the hearts of your Korean fa..."

"I'm fine." you didn't manage to hide irritation in your voice. You were not used to talking about it and you didn't like it one bit. Besides what were you supposed to say anyway? No one else was as hated as you. Of course there were idols and stars that were occasionally criticized but not one of them was constantly a target of such hatred. Even when you left there were still death threats send from your motherland to you, nothing changed. Not to mention no one else got such welcoming on the day of return to their home. It was unfair, stupid, infuriating and saddening. And yet you couldn’t understand what people were expecting of you? Both Mark and your manager knew you, or so you thought. What were you supposed to do? Cry? You wouldn't cry, that was what weak people do, that would show you actually care about what those assholes think about you. You were just fine. Ok. Neither sad nor happy. You'd endure whatever you had to but you won't conform to their image of idol and woman nor will you show any sign of weakness. You'd rather stay hated than do that. Your manager sighed and it pulled you out of your thoughts.

"Well then. If you're okay then I'm glad. So just as I told you I have this drama for you if you're interested." You weren't the slightest bit. Frankly you'd rather stay in bed for the next three months jobless than play some crazy villain or villainous second female lead. Then again you felt bad about the amount of work he probably had because of you. You looked him in the eyes and answered with a sigh.

"I can't promise anything but I can at least listen what it’s about.." Your manager seemed surprised, but he didn't wait long, perhaps in case you'd change your mind. He took out some papers and handed them to you. You cringed on the sole title "Love is your destiny" — it sounded sappy. 

"So it's a love story between fallen angel and this human..." he started.

"Angels...so who do they want me to play? Satan? Devil? Succubus?" You browsed through pages to find the villain.

"You'd know if you'd let me finish." You sent him a small apologetic smile. "They want you to play the main role." You stared at him confused before you burst with laughter.

"They want me to play cute girl in love with the angel?" The idea of you playing the sweet female lead was absurd, not that you weren’t able to do it, you were a good actress it wouldn’t be a problem for you, if anything it would most likely be a challenge for the audience.

"No, no! You'd play the angel. See this is drama with strong female lead. The origin of your character is fascinating. You had to watch the mistreatment of a woman extremely devoted to god. The lady prayed, but she still got beaten, almost killed even. Moreover, you had to be the guardian angel of her torturer — the aggressive husband. You pleaded to god, you asked him to let you guard her instead, but he didn’t agree and forbade you from intervening. One night when the husband got drunk, he beat her unconscious and you were sure he’d kill her. You decided to save her, you kill her husband and this is the moment when you fell. That's when you became deviant and promised yourself you'd help those who were denied it. You’d protect them and avenge them. Fast-forward a thousand years, and we are in Seoul and you meet a man, a painter..." He was so excited you almost didn't understand some words because of the speed. He was waiting for your response but you were too occupied with reading what he handed you. Once you finished it you looked at him with a mix of surprise and excitement.

"It's like it was made for me.." you said with bewildered tone.

"That's because it was made for you. The screenwriter wrote it with you in mind." You looked like a cartoon character, eyes wide, mouth in a shape of letter "o", once you heard him.

"Me?"

"Yes. She is apparently a big fan."

"And tvN is ok with that?" You furrowed your brows confused.

"Perhaps they aren't. But it is co-production with Netflix, and they pushed for you since you’re popular worldwide." 

Your heart fluttered and the tips of your fingers tingled from excitement as you rummaged through the pages once again, not only it would be showed in TV during the prime-time but also streamed on Netflix weekly.

"The screenwriter and producer kept calling me since yesterday as soon as it was known you came back. They almost cast someone else. They were sure you're staying in the USA. Isn't it amazing?" He was as excited as you were and you felt some remorse for being so rude to him before. You gave him your warmest smile, one you usually used only around Mark and your family.

"It really is. Thank you and I'm sorry for being rude earlier." He was clearly uncomfortable with your apology, red spreading on his cheeks as he waved his hand dismissively.

"Ah don't mention it. Does that mean I can call them and say you are interested." You looked at the pages in front of you once again and smiled broadly before simply saying.

"Yes!"

Jinyoung was still amused you threatened him in his own café. He couldn't focus on the book he had in his hands anymore as he chuckled replying your angered and irritated expressions in his head. It was fun to tease you because you reacted so well. He could tell you could be great friends if you'd let him. He smiled to himself mouthing your own words "bloody Y/N". He was truly shocked that he met you here of all places and found it rather amusing when you yelled in English and caught his attention. He felt some disappointment upon seeing a half naked man talking to you from the screen of your phone but the feeling disappeared as quickly as it came up once your friend ended the call. Jinyoung wouldn't call himself a noisy person, but he found you interesting, and he wanted to know who it was and what kind of relationship you had although he rarely cared for stuff like this... His thoughts were interrupted by his ring-tone, BamBam's face illuminated the screen. He sighed but answered it anyway.

"Skrrrt, skrrt!"

"Ah yes, good morning to you to Bam." Jinyoung said in amused tone.

"Oh, hyung you seem in good mood. What you're up to?"

"Reading, thinking."

"Sounds boring wanna hang out?"

"Actually I wanted to ask you about something." Jinyoung ignored his question once he remembered how obsessed with celebrities and their styles Bam was.

"Shoot."

"Do you know any celebrities under the name Y/N." BamBam laughed wholeheartedly.

"That's very funny hyung."

"What do you mean?"

"OMG you're not joking! Are you living under a rock, hyung? Y/N is like the hottest actress ever. Her style is chic and comfy and artsy it's really cool, and she actually doesn't have a stylist, she does it on her ow..."

"She is an actress?"

"She is the actress! She played the White Fox in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Lol, you call yourself an actor and you don't know the most popular Korean actress abroad."

"You know I don't like those superheroes movies. Besides why didn't I hear about her Korean career if she's so good?"

"You are so old it scares me sometimes. Well you should know her from internet. I think it's national sport to hate her or something. She just came back, and they're already frying her online not to mention the media and dating rumors."

"Dating rumors?"

"Yeah she dated few actors. I think Seojoon hyung dated her and Changwook hyung even almost proposed. The media made her to look like heartless vixen though. I mean they never liked her but her last ex gave a very unfavorable interview to dispatch and after that she became villain number one. She left shortly after."

"Mmmm... I see." Jinyoung only started his career four years ago so it shouldn't be weird you've never met before. He was also the type of person who couldn't care less about internet gossip and gutter press or dispatch. He sighed. Suddenly your angry reaction made much more sense and Jinyoung didn't feel as good about it as he did before. He scolded himself for being too frivolous and selfish. He just wanted to see your reactions - it was cute and funny...

"Why did you ask? OMG you've met her didn't you. I'm so jealous. What was she wearing? Was it Gucci? I heard she likes it."

"Ok Bam. I have to go. Thanks for the talk."

"Wait, so you wanna hang out?"

"Last time when you asked me to hang out I had to shop for 4 hours with you."

"Well... I am your stylist. Besides, it was fun, come on." 

"I think we have different definitions of "fun""

You woke up to no noise pleasantly surprised. It seems that Sunday's were free from renovation and thanks to that you could sleep in. You stretched out and grabbed the phone to check the time. It was already past eleven. You smiled to yourself and fell to bed lazily. Soon you wouldn't have time for lazy days like this as the production team was supposed to finish up casting for the drama by the end of the next week. You thought about picking some groceries, maybe cooking yourself some food and enjoying the day with a book or perhaps some video games. You took shower and put on some comfortable clothes — beige cardigan you stole from Mark clearly too big for you and some black trousers pairing it up with brown coat. You left the apartment and as soon as you did the irritating voice in your head reminded you about your debt. Hesitant at first you shook off the feeling quickly and knocked on the door. This time you were prepared for teasing, you were expecting it even so you wouldn't be caught off guard. At least that's what you were telling yourself. Your neighbor, however, didn't act the way you expected him to. Instead of smirking at you and teasing you or straight up mocking you, he seemed nervous. He had deep purple bags under his usually sparkling eyes. Perhaps he didn’t feel well... you wondered whether you should ask him if he needed some help. You decided it would be extremely awkward and so you cleared your throat and spoke up — softness now somewhere in your voice.

"Is that bad time? I can come later I just wanted to give you back your money.."

"N-No." He started nervously "I mean no. It's fine. I'm actually glad you're here. Would you come in?"

You didn't want to come in and it must have shown on your face since he continued.

"Come on. I don't bite." He smiled warmly and it seemed much more normal than the timid self he showed you seconds ago. And so you came in curiously looking around his own apartment. It was a mirror image of your own in terms of room placements — a hallway leading to living room with opened kitchen. You came into the living room and Jinyoung rushed after you quickly turning the TV off. You didn't pay it any mind since you were looking around and taking in how different was his home compared to yours. It was very modern and yet it kept the homey feeling. Yours on the other hand, well it was raw yet full of stuff? Mark would probably call it unfinished and cluttered. Your neighbor sat on the other side of the couch leaving quite a lot of space between the two of you and run a hand through his hair. He wore a cardigan very similar to yours both in color and style in fact it could be the very same brand and style it’s just neither of you noticed it.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to apologize." He responded quickly and gained a surprised look from you.

"Apologize?"

"Yes about yesterday…I shouldn't have said those things in public I could say I just didn't know about your situation but it’s no excuse. I’m truly sorry." he paused. "You don't have to be stressed about press or rumors though. It is my café and my staff, so they won't talk about it with anyone I took care of it." You took back everything you said, you weren’t prepared for meeting him, especially not getting apologies from him. On top of that he was the owner of your favorite café...

"I… it's fine." You said confused and tried to act as normal as possible while being very aware of your palms spread on your thighs. They were unnaturally clammy. It was a surprise to you, you rarely got any apologies and you were expecting some more teasing not something like that. Your eyes were everywhere except on him and you were screaming at yourself internally to say something, anything, but nothing was coming to your mind. Once again you lost your ability for forming witty sentences around him or in that case any sentences. There was awkward silence between you and you immensely regretted coming to see him today. You weren’t used to this. Somewhere in your belly you could feel as if butterflies - or rather moths — yes, moths of anxiety were fluttering their wings desperately trying to get into your chest. You never felt like this before. You tried to avoid looking at him but your own eyes betrayed you and fell on Jinyoung only to find out he was enjoying your anguish. His brown eyes were glimmering and his lips formed half smirk that he tried to cover with his left hand in a gesture of propping his head up. Immediately irritation came to you burning all the fluttering wings in the pits of your stomach. A frown formed on your face and you send him a glare. Wondering how could you be so stupid and fall for his act.

"You're really cute when you're shy or embarrassed." He chuckled now mocking you openly.

"I can't believe I took your apologies as sincere." He chuckled again clearly pleased with how you responded.

"They were sincere. I just enjoy teasing you."

"Could you stop? That's inappropriate you don't even know me."

"What do you mean we are neighbors and soon to be friends." He smiled broadly and for a second your mind travelled somewhere else simply admiring his beauty. You cursed his handsome face it could blind and charm everyone really. You wanted to leave, no you needed to leave. It was stuffy in here.

"I'm here for a reason." You reminded him, he was watching you with amusement. It felt almost as if a cat was observing you.

"Ah right... money." his tone seemed inattentive somehow. "I don't need it. Let's say it was a part of my apology."

"Just give me your account number and take the money."

"I don't remember it." You were getting more irritated every minute you talked to him.

"You don't remember your account number?" This man was unbelievable. He shrugged.

"You can send it to me through KakaoTalk if you really want." He smiled and took out the phone from the pocket of his pants. 

"Fine. Just give it." Not wanting to spend any second longer here with him, you scanned his qr to add him quickly and transferred the money.

"Done. Now if you excuse me."

"Of course." He smiled again and you felt mocked by the sole action of his lips shooting upwards. He walked you to the door and watched as you slipped on your shoes. You tried to look as cold and dignified as possible but still tripped over the doorstep. He caught your arm firmly and straightened you. Your heart was beating so fast and hard all you could hear was blood pumping in your ears in fact you were sure he could hear it as well. On the other hand whose heart wouldn't when you almost fell face first, right…? Right? It surely wasn't because of his warm breath now tickling the crown of your head, nor the dangerously beautiful eyes... you absolutely regretted coming here today. It was foolish of you to think your cursed neighbor wouldn't shake you up today. And he was still holding you — how awkward is that; and you felt fine with being hold like that — what on earth was wrong with you? You started to think that maybe it would be better if you'd actually fell and hit that stupid head of yours.

Jinyoung was having very dangerous thoughts. The kind he didn't have in a very long time. He wasn't prepared for this kind of proximity. He was already shaken up yesterday by your touch and closeness he only held your hand for a second or two. Maybe he didn't show it but he was. Honestly he wasn't even into PDA or flirting with someone or even thinking of flirting with someone. Yes, he liked teasing, and he teased you but it was in a FRIENDLY manner. Well it was safe to say he didn't have friendshippy type of thoughts right now. Jinyoung reacted automatically upon seeing you fall he just grabbed your arm and pulled you his way. He was still holding your now tensed muscles, but he couldn't let go of you. He was in trance. Your warmth radiating onto him, the way the smell of your shampoo was tingling his nose, your huge doe-like shocked eyes, parted lips, soft pink on the apples of your cheeks. He was wondering how badly would you kill him if he asked to kiss you right now. He was seriously considering it worthy asking even if you were to pull out his tongue like you threatened yesterday. He didn't ask though, the rational part of his brain finally letting go of you. His own feeling were mess, but he did what he knew best — he masked his emotional disarray with some more teasing hoping you wouldn’t notice.

"Falling for me already?" He smirked even though internally he was screaming and already thinking of confiding in Jackson to get himself calmed. He was clearly the one falling and he was panicked. You rolled your eyes on him seemingly gaining the composure while he was getting stunned even by such simple gesture like this.

"You're way below my standards." You seemed annoyed. He smiled again although he wanted you to leave quickly and leave him alone with his feelings, so he can sort this out. Your eyes narrowed at him even more.

"I need to go now."

"Well, have a great day."

"Right, you too." You were so cold Jinyoung almost chuckled at it because it almost wounded him, and yet he liked it. He enjoyed teasing you too much. You were already walking to the elevator, but he couldn't help himself.

"Oh, and try not to fall when I'm not around to catch you, Y/N." He laughed and you were already frowning at him absolutely mad which made his heart skip a beat, you were really too cute when you frowned. Jinyoung closed the door before you could say anything or worse before he did. He realized he was in deep shit. He tried to think reasonably. He probably just had a crush because he spent a whole night watching movies and dramas you were starring in, he might have also accidentally watched all of your interviews and went to sleep at 6 still smiling to himself from that interview where you had to answer questions about your body in preparation for your role in that Marvel movie. The reporter wouldn't stop asking about your body and making comments on it even though you were clearly uninterested in the topic which you finally cut with your own questions. "Are you looking for some weight loss tips? You look great. Seriously what is it about? Are you trying to fit in my suit?" The last question was asked with whole whisper theatrics and Jinyoung laughed at loud at five am hoping he didn't wake you up through the wall. The suit in question was extremely fitting white leather catsuit. It wasn't the only interview in which you showed off your wits, eloquence and badassness, or how Bam would call it "swag". You were also the most attractive actress he had seen. Of course, you were also attractive when you weren't acting but on the screen... you were amazing. So Jinyoung tried to calm himself down rationalizing his earlier thoughts as simply being starstrucked. That’s what fans felt towards their idols, he was simply charmed by his own new idol. Yes that was it — that’s exactly the type of thoughts some fanboys or fangirls would have. He called Jackson anyway, he knew the designer was the right person to talk to in situations like this. 

Twenty minutes later Jinyoung regretted ever calling his best friend.

"OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO IN LOVE WITH HER!" Jackson basically yelled to the phone. Jinyoung groaned and massaged the space between his brows. 

"Were you even listening? I'm just a big fan."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night man. I’m a big fan of Christian Dior and all I can think of is making out with him." 

"Don’t compare it, he is dead!" Jinyoung yelled and his friend filled his ear in response.

 You were regretting not taking the car for shopping. The walk did help with your racing heart, and helped ease off your mind but it turned out the supermarket isn't that close any more when you have to drag home ten bags of food and products. Thankfully a convenience store was on your way so you could make a stop there maybe you'd be lucky enough to see Seoyun, buy her coffee and have a chat. You knew it was stupid, because she could've just feel obliged to say she is your fan but you still wanted to tell her about your new upcoming role. Sadly she wasn't there and so you just made a stop and sat on one of nearby benches. Massaging your palms that had those harsh red lines imprinted in them now thanks to the bags. You could swear you heard the sound of released shutter and so now alarmed you looked around but it seemed you were the only person here. You sighed, how paranoid have you become that you started hearing the cameras when there was none. Then again you were extremely lucky dispatch and paparazzi haven't found you yet. Just before you left to the USA, your ex gave this interview and your life became hell. You didn't have a day without paparazzi running after you or spying on you. The memories came to you not without acrimony and hurt. Your ex, an actor just like you, used you to create scandal and gain some popularity. You could remember how enraged and morose it made you. You didn't date anyone since then even when Mark tried to introduce you to some people. You intended on staying that way. You didn't need anyone, you had Mark, and he was enough for you. Just you and your best friend. You weren't sure how long you stayed like this, deep in your thoughts. You moved only after you fingers became stiff from cold. Somehow you managed to carry the groceries back home. You were so tired that you just counted it as your training today. You checked the time and it was one PM, perfect time to call your bestie.

"Markiee!!" You whined as soon as his face appeared on your screen.

"Y/N-ah. I miss you." He was wearing some blue hoodie this time.

"That's my line. Do you have time to talk?"

"Bruh, for you? Always. What's up?" 

"I am going to star in a drama!"

"What? I thought you hate those." He was genuinely shocked.

"I know, I do. But this one is different. I'm not playing the villain I got female lead, and she isn't some damsel in distress she is a badass character!" You almost screamed and he chuckled.

"Woah. Someone's excited. I'm so proud of you. So who is getting the privilege to be cast with you?"

"I don't know yet. I'm supposed to meet the cast next week." He nodded his head and smiled. "Anyway what are you up to?"

"I was actually thinking of playing Among Us and streaming wanna join?" He grinned.

"Absolutely, prepare to get wrecked Tuan." You used to play together at least once a week when you were in the USA, his fans loved you and shipped you even though you both told them you were just friends — it is some rule in the internet though, to ship close friends.

Few hours later you were once again killed as the first person, this time by Mark.

"YOU GONNA REGRET IT WHEN WE’LL MEET TUAN. I SWEAR I’M GONNA WHOOP YO ASS..." You screamed on top of your lungs and Mark laughed wholeheartedly, while his chat filled up with hundreds of LOL’s and LUL’s.

"You guys she threatens me. Someone make a clip and send it to the police once they find my dead body." He kept laughing and you couldn’t help but laugh as well. His smile and laugh were just too contagious.

"You really put our friendship to test lately Tuan, here I was foolishly trusting you when you killed me in cold blood. " You stretched and your stomach rumbled reminding you that you haven’t eaten yet and it was already around four pm.

" Hey don’t hate the player, hate the game. "   He shrugged and winked, while you rolled your eyes.

"Okay Mark, I gotta go and eat. It’s already afternoon here."

"Sure, chat say bye to Y/N." They did as he asked and it was soon filled with many hearts and goodbyes. "Love you Y/N! Call me soon." He grinned and you smiled warmly.

"Love you too Mark. Bye guys!" With that you logged off the discord, and switched off his stream. You make your way to the kitchen and took out the ingredients for kimchi jjigae you bought before. You carefully read the recipe opened on your phone and began cooking. You had to make anchovy stock first so you grabbed some dried anchovies, kelp and slashed the daikon in cubicles — it looked quite awkward as each cubicle was different size but hey it was you eating it not some kind of culinary critic. You added water and left it to boil deciding to take care of the rest of ingredients. You cut some kimchi and ate some as a snack and reward for not ordering food today, sliced some green onions, cut the pork and the tofu as well. By the time you were done it was time to strain the broth and add the rest of ingredients. It had to cook so you decided to watch some TV in the meantime. You turned it on, it was some kind of reality show where idols were supposed to camp in the wild for a few days. The idols clearly didn’t feel like being there and the fact you knew neither of them didn’t help. You dozed off before you noticed, your eyelids getting as heavy as iron. The smell of burning woke you up. You shot upwards from your couch and rushed to the kitchen, bumping into a coffee table on your way there.

"FFFFFF-UUCK." you hissed, when your shin pulsed with pain. You quickly grabbed the pot with stew to get it off the fire, forgetting it would be hot as well. You hissed in pain and let id drop on your marble floor which was now covered in burned kimchi and some other things. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fucking shit." You cursed as you tried to navigate to the sink to ease off the burn with some cold water. The cold water did help and you sighed with relief only to later follow it with a sigh of resignation. You had to clean up this mess. It was when your phone barked — a new message. You checked it.

From Unknown number: Are you trying to burn down the whole building?

You furrowed your brows confused, wondering if it was one of those jokes or spam messages you heard about.

To Unknown number: Who’s this?

From Unknown number: Guess.

You huffed in disbelief.

To Unknown number: Ok, enjoy being blocked.

From Unknown number: Wait!

From Unknown number: It’s Jinyoung.

To Unknown number: How did you get my number? Never mind I’m blocking you I’m too busy to deal with you.

With that you put the phone back in your pocket and began cleaning up. You finished in no time now tired out by scrubbing. You sat on the floor and took out your phone to check it out. From Unknown number: Don’t block me what if you need my help one day.

To Unknown number: With what exactly?

From Unknown number: What if you get stuck in your bathroom and need someone to let you out?

You rolled your eyes and saved his contact

To Devil: There is at least 7 billion more people I’d rather ask to help me

From Devil: Ok then what if I get stuck in the bathroom and need your help.

To Devil: I’d leave you there

From Devil: Heartless

To Devil: Better tell me how did you get my phone number

From Devil: You gave it to me when you scanned my kakao code

You were bewildered, was that his plan from the very beginning or were you just paranoid? You were either prejudiced or he was in fact the devil with angel's face.

To Devil: Did you lie about not remembering your account number?

From Devil: Maybe

You couldn’t believe it, the audacity, the smugness. You could feel irritation building inside you but you decide to let it go when your stomach rumbled at you aggressively. After eating you took shower, read a few chapters of The Vegetarian and fell asleep.

Next week passed quickly but in the feeling of anticipation as you were supposed to meet the rest of the cast as well as the scriptwriter and director at the meeting on Friday. You kept calling your manager throughout the week trying to find out who could they be, but he didn’t know anything or didn’t want to tell you. And so you spent the week on training, running, reading and occasionally calling Mark to express your impatience and excitement. You didn’t meet your irritating neighbor even once this week — something you counted as blessing or perhaps a sign that the universe finally turned your karma around. It was finally Friday and you were already sitting in the meeting room waiting for everyone to come in. You smiled at the young man sitting next to you, he was really cute and had this mole under his right eye it added to his charm. He was about to introduce himself, when someone came through the door and greeted everyone cheerfully. You couldn’t believe it. You were cursed, actually cursed.

"YOU?!" was all that left your mouth upon seeing him entering the room.

[gascon-en-exil]

Who Can Say if I've Been Changed For the Better?: Ferdibert Does Wicked

This concept has been a bit in building. It started from a much-loved cover by Hubert and Ferdinand’s VAs inspired by their support line and the broad observation that these two are a musicals couple who absolutely would sing their feelings in all manner of theatrical AUs. It continued through my later observation that there’s ample material to carry that idea even further, albeit with a shift outside of Crimson Flower for a better tonal match. Still, I’m not quite sure what to call this project; it’s not really a headcanon nor is it fanfic by any means. I’ve written a handful of longform character/narrative explorations before, although when it comes to FE I’ve previously been inspired to do so only for Jugdral characters. That setting is somehow both underdeveloped and deceptively dense - and I suppose in a way you could say the same of Three Houses as well, insofar as it’s been incredibly popular for fan content of all sorts.

Regardless of what this post is in terms of my fandom output, the following isn’t exactly a Wicked AU as such. Rather, it’s how I would envision a hypothetical blend of the non-CF routes of FE16 centering around the Eagles trio and set to the structure and songs of the musical as organically as possible. There are no 1:1 analogues with characters and plotlines from Wicked, because few if any would exist without a lot of tweaking; to use the VA cover example, Ferdinand might be a decent proxy for G(a)linda, but the mere presence of Edelgard substantially complicates Hubert’s claim to the Elphaba role. The similarities only unravel further from there, but I did my best.

Writing this out gave me the opportunity to play around with Edelgard’s character as a way of addressing what I and many others in my circle have long considered to be some of the major problems with her canon presentation. For Ferdibert meanwhile I got to make use of my headcanons for how their relationship would develop outside of their support line, in a way that mostly preserves Hubert’s delightful evil wickedness. Add some ruminations on how one would splice together the non-CF routes in a dramatically satisfying fashion, some snark directed at the non-character of Byleth, and a bit of background Dimidue/Lions OT5 for spice and that just about sums it up. Enjoy this…whatever this is.

Act I

“No One Mourns the Wicked”

The show opens on the citizens of Adrestia celebrating the death of their emperor and the end of her bloody war. Ferdinand rides in, resplendent on his steed, and is hailed as the new Duke Aegir as he relates to the crowd the news of Edelgard’s death at the hands of the combined army of liberators. The “Are people born wicked?” flashback sequence is replaced with a summary mostly in pantomime of Edelgard’s backstory: the Insurrection, her being taken to Faerghus and then returning, and then being experimented on by the Agarthans before agreeing to work with them. Notably Hubert is not named or referenced anywhere in this song, appearing only as a boy at Edelgard’s side at appropriate times during the flashback.

“Dear Old Shiz”

Someone in the crowd finally brings up Hubert, the emperor’s vile and murderous minister, and accuses Ferdinand of having been his friend. With Ferdinand even more flustered than Glinda since his “It depends on what you mean by friend” definitely carries sexual undertones, so begins the flashback to Part 1. There’s an equivalent intro of Garreg Mach, so one may feel free to insert any headcanons for school songs here. The following dialogue scene establishes the student body in general and the dynamic of the Eagles trio in particular: Ferdinand pompous and eager to one-up Edelgard at any opportunity, and Edelgard and Hubert cold and dismissive toward his antics and just about everyone else for that matter. Edelgard is instantly enamored of the quiet new professor, of course. Because the room assignment conflict doesn’t make a lot of sense with the monastery’s setup, instead Ferdinand is incensed that Edelgard is chosen as the Eagles’ house leader over him even though it’s been ages since a Hresvelg has attended. Neither Nessarose nor Morrible has an exact equivalent (although Seteth can act in Morrible’s role as the academy’s main authority figure), so the segue into the next song ends there.

“The Wizard and I”

Now alone together, Edelgard and Hubert have a brief dialogue outlining their villainous plans for the school year. This establishes Hubert’s hypercompetency but also how detached and professional Edelgard is around him. Then comes the song, now “My Lady and I,” which serves as Hubert’s character introduction. In tones more sinister than Elphaba ever reaches - you know he’d have fun with “When people see me they will scream” - he outlines his history with his lady, that he delights in serving her because she validates his work ethic and gives him an outlet for his ruthlessness and cruelty. Where Elphaba fantasizes about the Wizard removing her green skin, Hubert instead goes full Nice Guy, believing that once he’s given Edelgard her continental empire and crushed all her enemies she’ll be so grateful that of course she’ll put out for him.

“What Is This Feeling?”

You could rip the tone of this one directly from the Ferdibert C support and change nothing - homoerotic subtext included. I like the thought of Hubert replacing Elphaba’s deadpan one-word summation of Galinda with a mocking imitation of Ferdinand's most memetic line: "He is Ferdinand von Aegir!". The chorus can be made up of any number of other students excluding Edelgard, who’d happily agree that Hubert is ugly, creepy, and downright unpleasant.

“Something Bad”

The content of this song and surrounding scenes would have to be completely altered, but they work as a necessary reminder that the plot of Part 1 is still going on in the background of all the school drama. Seteth runs through the major events up to Chapter 9 of the game, including the bandit threat, Flayn’s kidnapping, and the experiments on the Remire villagers. The audience/accompaniment for this exposition dump ought to be Dimitri and Claude with Byleth as a silent observer (more on them later), with Edelgard brushing off the news and eventually being the one to shut down the song as Morrible does. There could be some small side character moments in here as well particularly involving the Lions and Deer since they get so little focus in this story.

“Dancing Through Life”

Speaking of which, this was an awkward sequence to place. It matches up chronologically with the ball in Chapter 9 and the main part, Fiyero’s, is a dead ringer for Sylvain and his flirty, hedonistic nihilism (“Nothing matters / but knowing nothing matters!”), but it’s hard to tie into what’s going on with the Eagles trio particularly with the Ferdibert timeframe preserved, i.e. unlike Elphaba and Galinda they don’t become closer until after the timeskip.

As such I see this song as an opportunity for little vignettes with the other students: Dimitri angry over how Dedue’s talked about and hoping they can share a dance (fitting contrast with the coldness of Edelbert), Felix prickly between Dimitri’s recent outbursts and Sylvain’s showboating, Claude hinting toward the bigger picture with Hilda flitting between her excitement over the dance and knowing more than she's letting on, Dorothea casually taking note of Edelgard’s fascination with Byleth (see just below), Bernadetta as a wallflower who doesn’t want to be disturbed (a setup for Act II), etc. Thanks to one of the Forging Bonds events in Heroes I had the thought that the "You/we deserve each other" through line that later gets attached to Nessarose can become one for Dimitri's relationships, with Felix initially throwing it out at him and Dedue and the two of them then turning "We deserve each other" into a romantic line...and then an ironic one and finally a triumphant one come Act II, by that point with Felix et al included as well.

I’m not sure that the following scene of Galinda and Elphaba bonding on the dance floor really needs an equivalent, although it could be altered to something Edeleth-related. In any case Ferdinand ought to get a dance scene of some nature, so he can try to show up Edelgard as he brags about in canon.

“Popular”

It would be a travesty to have a musical starring FE16’s cast and not give Dorothea and/or Manuela a solo. This song works quite well for the former, and it doesn’t intrude on the Ferdibert development with the aforementioned timeframe and how the lightly sapphic vibe doesn’t translate well to two guys. Dorothea has taken note of her good friend Edie’s crush on their mysteriously wooden professor, and she senses the opportunity for a makeover. Not as exaggerated as Dorothea trying to make over Hubert, naturally, but I still think this works out well. Also, Galinda’s observation on leaders, “Did they have brains or knowledge? / Don’t make me laugh! They were popular!”, is darkly comedic when said to Edelgard.

“I’m Not That Girl”

This song comes with preceding dialogue scenes for setup, so those first. Edelgard emerges fresh from her makeover (given her general hot for teacher fixation, I’m thinking she’d lean pretty hard on the naughty schoolgirl look) to Byleth silently grieving Jeralt’s death - bad timing there. She’s as callous about it as she is in canon, only now with more clumsy flirting, and while it’s impossible as always to tell if Byleth notices or cares Hubert most certainly does. The scene segues into the Eagles trio together, with Edelgard alluding to the upcoming events in the Sealed Forest and indicating that Hubert should meet up with her later for some more villainous scheming after he’s ditched Ferdinand. Ferdinand, indignant about being left out of the loop as he is in canon, grumpily points out that he was a much more splendid dancer at the ball than Edelgard, makeover or not. To his utter surprise, Hubert acknowledges that this is true before leaving. This leads into the actual song, altered from homoerotic via triangulation of desire to an outright sexual awakening for Ferdinand. He realizes that part of his jealousy toward Edelgard is that he wishes Hubert were devoted to him instead, and tells himself not to get his hopes up because he’s, well, not that girl or even a girl. We shall of course leave aside how anyone could be attracted to someone as repulsive as Hubert; that’s part of the inherent comedy of this pairing.

“One Short Day”

This was the hardest song to place in this whole project. The touristy trip to the Emerald City just doesn’t have an analogue in the story of Three Houses, especially not late in Part 1 when tension is mounting toward the upcoming reveal and war. It took me a while to realize that it works wonderfully as an Edeleth piece: Edelgard invites Byleth to Enbarr for her coronation, but that scene is left offscreen in favor of a light romp through the city that further highlights Edelgard’s crush as well as her emotional immaturity in spite of everything she’s about to do. She just wants to have a fun day out and take in the sights and eat sweets with her beloved teacher, and it’s all very “Edge of Dawn”-esque where Edelgard knows she’s about to do terrible things that will change everything forever and hopes to prolong the time until she has to take that step. Adjustments to the lyrics could even work in reference to that song to make the similarities more apparent. An awkward/funny issue here is that I envision Byleth to be totally silent throughout this musical with no sung or spoken parts, which would naturally make them having a duet impossible and make Edelgard’s fascination with them even weirder. Even their gender should be left ambiguous throughout, somehow never confirmed if it’s m!Byleth or f!Byleth. It would take a lot of reworking, but I can see the value in it.

“A Sentimental Man”

The core of the Wizard’s character is not all that different from Rhea’s. Both were thrust unexpectedly into positions of authority that required them to enact a large-scale deception to maintain their power/safety, and both are driven somewhat by parental feelings. The tone of the Wizard’s songs doesn’t align well with Rhea, but once you cut out the vaudeville and do some rewording I could see this one working as Rhea addressing her child (among other things) Byleth at the Holy Tomb just before the Flame Emperor reveal. Of course the dramatic irony hits differently; Rhea knows who and what Byleth is whereas the Wizard doesn’t learn about Elphaba until the end of the show. Nonetheless this would still establish Rhea’s character and motivations as well as set the stage for the impending betrayal.

“Defying Gravity”

Said betrayal being Byleth’s, who decides to stand by Rhea and condemn Edelgard as the Flame Emperor when she arrives with her army. This is another song in parts that would need to be broken up. Edelgard gets the bulk of it, but the middle sections between Elphaba and Glinda could work as a kind of separated duet with Edelgard and Hubert attempting to convince Byleth and Ferdinand respectively to join them. Because of Byleth’s silence only Ferdinand can reply in song; only he and Edelgard add the “my friend” bit to the end of this segment, to illustrate the unevenness of Edeleth and Ferdibert at this point in the story. Then things turn to full bombast, albeit darker than in Wicked proper. Edelgard does the belting, Hubert’s sinister laughter reverberates below her (would it be too tasteless for him to be leering up her skirt the whole time?), Ferdinand has Glinda’s mournful “I hope you’re happy!” toward Hubert, and through this and the reprise of “No One Mourns the Wicked” the major events of the timeskip are enacted in pantomime or silhouette. Byleth tumbles off a cliff, Rhea is taken captive as is Dimitri but Dedue rushes after him, and Claude makes a tactical retreat. Side note: “And if I’m flying solo, / at least I’m flying free” is classic Edelgard fixating on Byleth and forgetting that Hubert exists.

Act II

“Thank Goodness”

A surprisingly tough one here. The core of the song, pivoting around the double meaning of “I couldn’t be happier,” suits early Part 2 Ferdinand perfectly, second-guessing his choice and, outside of CF, melancholy about fighting his homeland. In terms of plot it’s an easy translation too, with the crowd announcing the terrible things the Empire has been doing to win its war - persecuting believers, abducting civilians and turning them into Demonic beasts, consorting with inhuman shadowy figures who can disguise themselves as ordinary people - and the assembly working as a way to bring together the leads of the three routes: Byleth, Dimitri (who had Dedue always at his side and thus never had a full psychotic break), Claude, and Seteth, with Ferdinand representing the Adrestian resistance. It’s only the wedding announcement that’s hard to pin down, and I toyed with a number of ideas including Dimidue making yet another public declaration of devotion to one another or Ferdinand planning to follow through with his arranged marriage to Bernadetta they have in their supports (which makes more sense in light of the following sequence). In the end though I don’t think the marriage element is strictly necessary, leaving the song as a means of catching up with the cast five years later and seeing them united against Edelgard - with Ferdinand’s private regrets the only sour note.

“Wicked Witch of the East”

More a dialogue than a song, but still important. Bernadetta is arguably the Eagle other than Hubert most comfortable supporting Edelgard, because all Edelgard has to do is put Count Varley under house arrest for Bernadetta to sing the emperor’s praises. I can also see her as the same sort of self-centered, negligent ruler that Nessarose becomes in Wicked, not because of an unrequited attraction but because of her reclusive desire to be left alone. I see this scene playing out as Hubert surprising Bernadetta at her estate, angry about rumors that she may be helping the rebels and/or engaged to Ferdinand if going with that plot point after Edelgard has done her the favor of locking up her father. He’s fully prepared to, ahem, “persuade” Bernadetta, but before he can break out the torture implements Ferdinand arrives asking for her to support the rebels’ cause.

Farcical, sure, but it gets the two of them together again after five years and underscores how strong their UST has become in their time apart, with Hubert too flabbergasted to attack a known enemy and Ferdinand expressing how happy he is to see Hubert again despite everything. Each learns that the other isn’t as happy about his chosen path as he’d hoped, in Hubert’s case because his lady has grown ever more distant from him as the war has dragged on. Bernadetta cuts through the tension by bringing things back to the song (sort of) and blurting out that she knows both sides are marshalling their forces near Gronder Field. Ferdinand is too caught up in the fraught romance angle to do more than leave with this new information, but Hubert recovers enough to condemn Bernadetta for her flagrant misrule (venting by inference his frustrations toward Edelgard in the process) and resolve to set her on fire for her treachery.

“I’m Not That Girl (Reprise)”

The Gronder rematch happened offscreen - and Bernadetta was indeed set on fire - and on the Imperial side Edelgard is left increasingly frustrated over her losses and hurt that Byleth still refuses to listen to her and continues to fight her regime. You may notice that I’ve shuffled around the middle of Act II, necessary at this point in order to better line up with FE16’s story and Hubert and Edelgard’s separate narrative climaxes while also ensuring that those climaxes don’t overlap too much. This song is only a brief reprise, but it’s a significant one; Hubert finally realizes that Edelgard will never love him. It’s also kept gender-neutral, because Byleth.

“As Long as You’re Mine”

That segues naturally into this moment. Ferdinand sneaks into Enbarr using his unexpected stealth powers (I usually talk about Dedue having them, but Ferdinand shows he’s no slouch in his Mercedes supports) and encounters Hubert. Their UST boils over in a furor of awkward, impassioned sex and also this song. I like the idea of rewording some of Fiyero's lines to incorporate Hubert's acidic snark: “Maybe you’re brainless, / maybe you’re wise.” It’s all very desperate and sensual, ending with Ferdinand taking Elphaba’s line about feeling wicked for the first time - which will have a dark reverberation two songs from now.

“Wonderful”

Again, axe the vaudeville and it’s a solid Rhea song. There’s just the small problem of Rhea being captured at this point in the plot; I thought about moving this number toward the very end at first before reconsidering. While Hubert and Ferdinand are rolling in the sheets, a distraught Edelgard confronts Rhea in prison. Rhea responds to Edelgard’s frustrations with Byleth with her backstory in song, much more somber than the Wizard but, like him, still willing to rehabilitate her estranged listener. The bits of this song about the nature of history are especially relevant to what Edelgard falsely believes about the church and what she views as her own legacy, so I could see this as an interesting character study on what Edelgard actually wanted with her war apart from dragon genocide. There’s a lot that could be done here in the dialogue surrounding those revelations.

“No Good Deed”

However the interrogation of Rhea turns out, Edelgard takes a leaf out of SS Dimitri’s book and visits Byleth alone at the monastery, only to be as harshly rebuffed as is possible to be without the rebuffer speaking. Then comes this song, which was incidentally the one where I realized that Edelgard would need a major role in FE16-does-Wicked even with the Ferdibert focus. Hubert fully embraced his evil wickedness long ago and wouldn’t think twice about being wicked or being perceived as such, but Edelgard is a different matter. Here she breaks down, admitting that her good intentions were largely selfish and that she regrets that her war has cost her any relationship she could have had with Byleth (continuing the joke at his expense, Hubert goes unmentioned when Edelgard names the people she’s lost/failed). It ends with a foreshadowing of her Hegemon form, the sign that she’s abandoned all pretense of goodness and become truly wicked.

“March of the Witch Hunters”

Another ensemble/vignette piece, checking in with the various members of Byleth’s army as they prepare to storm Enbarr. Dimitri hopes for the chance to forgive his stepsister, Claude has big plans for the continent and wants to remove the threat Edelgard poses, Seteth is desperate to find Rhea, and Byleth…is there. As in many of the songs, the self-righteousness of the crowd here rings more sincere and less hypocritical than in Wicked given Three Houses has actual villains, but it still works.

“For Good”

The song that inspired this whole thing, now with many paragraphs of context to set it up instead of only some fluff based on the Ferdibert A+ support. Ferdinand sneaks into Enbarr (again) ahead of the battle, and their second love ballad is more somber as they resign themselves to their fates. As in the VA cover, Hubert refuses to ask forgiveness for anything and Ferdinand is fine with that.

“Finale”

Wicked reduces the final battle from The Wizard of Oz to silhouettes backed by sections of “No One Mourns the Wicked,” and that’s what comes here: Ferdinand and Hubert facing each other in battle, Edelgard becoming the Hegemon before being defeated and then dying as in AM’s final cutscene, and Dimitri taking the throne with Dedue at his side and proclaiming his intention to do all he can to restore both the Kingdom and Duscur - and that his first act as king is to announce that he and Dedue have decided to open their marriage up. This is met with much manly cheering and stripping and someone (Ashe?) saying incredulously that he didn’t even know they were married. End silhouettes.

The final scene with the Wizard and Morrible becomes Claude, Seteth, and Byleth rescuing Rhea. Rhea names Byleth her successor as leader of the church and says that she will go into quiet seclusion and do what she can to correct her mistakes. This all suits Claude just fine, who tells everyone that he’s off to take care of some other business and that Byleth will make a great archbishop - and also they can have the Alliance, no big deal. As with the King of Faerghus’s gay orgies, the King of Almyra’s grand ambitions are too large for this story to do more than allude to.

Next, Ferdibert does a version of the Elphaba/Fiyero scene, with Ferdinand revealing that he had Hubert spared on the condition that he help root out any remaining Agarthans and that he remain under house arrest at the Aegir estate. Ferdinand was also required to assume governance of the Empire, because Dimitri wasn’t getting that dumped on him as well. They can be together, but the general population can’t know that Hubert survived lest Ferdinand’s reputation and basic ethics be compromised…which in a darkly funny hypocritical twist then segues to Ferdinand pontificating before the crowd at the beginning of the show, reprising “For Good” with Hubert until they’re drowned out by “No One Mourns the Wicked.” Thus the story concludes on one of my favorite things about Ferdibert: perhaps even in this non-CF continuity Ferdinand wasn’t changed for the better by falling in love with the Most Wicked Man in Fódlan, but they’ve both been changed….

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, HINA! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF VIKTORIA.

Admin Cas: Hina, I cannot express how delighted we are that you’ve brought us our visionary, our architect, our Viktoria — at long last! You captured them perfectly: from their innate dissatisfaction, to their restless desire, to the inevitability shared between God’s four apocalyptic creations. I think your para sample was a real stand-out for me; you slotted Famine so effortlessly amongst the other Horsemen and you grasped the nature of the relationship between them all so perfectly that it really feels like you’ve been here with us from the start. Your application was such a treat to read, and I’m beyond excited to see what restlessness the two of you’ll unleash upon us! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Hina

Age | 24

Personal Pronouns | She/her

Activity Level |  6/10 - full-time student so activity level will fluctuate.

Timezone | GMT

Triggers | REMOVED.

How did you find the group?  | through the lsrpg tags

Current/Past RP Accounts | REMOVED.

IN CHARACTER

Character | Viktoria/Famine

What drew you to this character?

So, I have this personal rule where I don’t apply to roleplays that have already started because I get this intense feeling of FOMO, but I kept coming back to Viktoria and was genuinely so surprised that they hadn’t been taken yet. I feel like she was waiting for me to take them up haha.

But on a more serious note, the Horsemen fascinate me like no other faction in this roleplay. There’s something about the bond that they have that surpasses ties of family, love or even just emotion in general. They are bound by their own inevitability as a singular entity and together as a four. Yet, while the Four Horsemen are similar in a lot of ways, with their once shared purpose and existence, Viktoria’s innate dissatisfaction with everything aside from their own creations struck me as something unique that sets them apart from their brethren. If anything their ability to feed on that appetite that she craves has given them the ability to construct and build on a level that is almost, quite literally, God-like. It’s this and the fact that she was created first - not distinct from the other Horsemen because of this reason, they all were formed from a part of God Himself - but Viktoria’s presence, their sheer essence was present and mulling in souls for eons before God created Viktoria and then the rest followed in an instance. While the Horsemen are linked together and will follow each other for the rest of time, I want to explore these two aspects especially in this New World and how Famine’s very nature creates either a fracture between them all or binds them ever closer together.

What also really interests me is the path she taken in this plain, not just as a Mercenary of sorts, but the almost unconscious path she has taken in moulding those that possess that same aching hunger as them. I think for Viktoria this has filled the hole in them ever so slightly after leaving everything she created in Purgatory. But for Viktoria, as I touched on a little before, it’s this dissatisfaction that consistently comes into play which she also projects onto other people. I think if she sees potential in someone, especially if she sees something that matches their level that same restless desperation rises in them of seeking, finding and almost taming them to their own very high standards.

What future plots do you have in mind for the character?

I imagine Viktoria’s future plot lines to be largely based around several other characters in the roleplay, especially that of the other Horsemen, but there are several directions I can see Viktoria going in:

i. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth - the Horsemen’s Purpose

What is really interesting is that one of things that bound the Four Horsemen together is their shared purpose in bringing about the Apocalypse. While their paths may have drifted while in Purgatory, I feel that Viktoria, and potentially the others too, would have relished in there not being a fracture of planes, but an even greater expanse which fulfilled all of their aspirations, an Apocalypse which changed the very fabric of Life itself.

But with that purpose being robbed from them and having been thrust into the mortal plane, not only does this reduce the power that they hold, but I would argue this weakens the bond that they have together. The occupation that they all currently hold, being killers for hire, is a much more solitary occupation than what they were first created for. I think that despite the fact that their planning and preparation is done together, there is a chance that as their personal desires and aims grow through connections with other characters in the roleplay (Viktoria’s specific circumstance I will touch on next), I can see a rift forming between the four of them if that is at all possible. Viktoria’s particular desire for power to create the world in their own image doesn’t trump the bond that she shares with the other Horsemen though. I can imagine that there is a tipping point where Viktoria has a number of paths that she can take for their own benefit, but ever the tactician she is, she would recognise that the power they have together can achieve so much more than splitting off on her own.

Building on the prior point, I also think with the way that the New Order was created, Viktoria imagines there to be another Apocalypse, she can feel the hunger, the aching starvation and the loss of control and I think its only a matter of time before the Horsemen capitalise on it if they don’t get sidetracked.

ii. I am coming quickly; hold fast what you have, so that no one will take your crown - Viktoria + Michael

The connection between Viktoria and Michael is something that I can see going further and absolutely shaking the New World in its entirety.

Viktoria from all of their time manipulating people’s emotions is very much aware of the need and desire that is clawing away at Michael, the fascination that Michael has when he looks upon her. Famine is unable to feel emotion in the same way, but I do think she is able to replicate and even imitate them based on eons of feeling and experiencing those of others around them. I think depending on how their relationship forms in the future, I could see an alliance struck between the two.

However, I think the above depends on other factors:

If the relationship between Michael and the other Arkangels dissolves completely, it could serve as an in for the Horsemen as a collective through Viktoria to go about fulfilling their preordained purpose (or a new one)

Alternatively, if the relationship between Michael and the other Arkangels dissolves completely AND the relationship between Viktoria and the other Horsemen dissolves as well, I can imagine Viktoria’s allegiances and desires turn towards the throne that Michael sits upon for the power it holds in order for her to form what she wants

iii) You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment - killer for hire

Something I want to explore as a plot point is Viktoria’s role as an assassin. As this is something that they and the other Horsemen do as a collective I can imagine them having devised a very clear dichotomy between the roles that each of them play when carrying out a job. Because of Viktoria’s role as a tactician, a creator, a diplomat, I can imagine them not wanting to sully their own hands with the act of taking someone else’s life, but I think also she sees it as beneath them so she somewhat relies on the expertise of the others to carry out the actually act of the job successfully.

As a result of this, I really want there to be an instance where Viktoria is forced or compelled to kill as I think this juxtaposes quite heavily with who she is and would be really interesting to see how it plays out.

iv) A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance - emotions

Throughout this app I’ve mentioned emotions, specifically how Viktoria does not have in. To expand and clarify this, I want to say that Famine doesn’t have any. Famine wasn’t created with the intention of feeling anything but an aching sense of hunger for the Apocalypse. I would even say the dissatisfied, restless emotion she experiences is something that has developed in them. I would like to think thought that since the New Order has been created causing Purgatory to fracture, the price in a way of taking up a mortal name, Viktoria, and almost reducing themselves to the level of a mortal woman has led to Viktoria experiencing their own emotions as well as manipulating other people’s. I think this would really complicate future events or perhaps Viktoria and the other Horsemen would recognise this and attempt to come up with a plan to speed up their agenda depending on the way these emotions were affecting them as a group.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character?

My short answer is yes I would be comfortable with killing off Viktoria.

Long answer that I think warrants some thought before she is killed off:

The death of one of the Horsemen is actually really interesting because in theory they should be dying/dead because they are an embodiment of God in some form. I think this is down to their inevitability and the inevitability of their purpose. So while I believe Viktoria or Ryuk or Nerissa or Dmitri can die I don’t think it’s possible to kill off Famine or Death or War or Conquest.

I think this is the reason why I would want there to be more consideration on the whys and hows if Viktoria is to die. Famine will remain, in the hunger, the starvation and the dissatisfaction that will take hold in others, or with Viktoria’s death something else to replace them will form and be Famine or even take its place.

The death of Viktoria will also change the dynamic of the Horsemen, of which their purpose of bringing about the Apocalypse will be lost, which would be interesting depending on the direction the roleplay goes in.

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation

Right now I think Viktoria’s ultimate desire which also serves as a motivator is to vanquish this restless hunger that’s consuming them once and for all. I think since God created Viktoria and the rest of the Horsemen without a real motivator in mind, she’s found in the eons that she’s been living, the power of creation abates it the most because its only through Viktoria’s own work that she can truly feel the satisfaction that she craves. I think this dissatisfaction spills over in her view of other people which is she wants to mould those, especially those with potential to fit around their standards so she can feed off of it.

Ultimately, its because of the Horsemen’s collective lack of purpose that makes Viktoria motivated to seek out power not only to help their own agenda with potentially bringing about an Apocalypse this time round, but to seek out opportunities in which she can go further than she ever did with their creations in Purgatory with their brethren by their side. I think this will also define Viktoria as less of a person with a mortal’s name but as where she rightfully thinks she should be; Famine, the ever present hunger, starvation and ache that claws through those lesser.

Character Traits

+ Calm: One of the reasons why Viktoria makes a good diplomat and is the one that represents the Horsemen on the political stage is their ability to remain calm and collected and convey the Horsemen’s position and aspirations in a favourable light. She is someone that is easily admirable just as she is formidable. I would say it is because of their calm nature that sets her apart as a leader over the aggressive and war-hungry Nerissa. Viktoria is someone who also never angers easily, preferring to state a few words that have meaning or else say nothing at all and let her plans and actions do the talking.

+ Cunning: Viktoria’s ability to create and map out what she wants and where she wants it makes them impressive in itself, but coupled with their ability to formulate to their and their brethren’s advantage is a skill that is valued highly when plotting to their own agenda and also when carrying out their kills. Viktoria is a long-term strategist preferring to wait and consider their options before striking out with the best one.

+ Instinctive: Viktoria has eons to not only study the emotions of others, but actually feel them through the abilities she possesses. It’s because of this that she has become extremely emotionally aware and is able to more or less tell what sort of emotions are being drawn up in the other person. This has been insightful when it comes to plotting their next marks.

Restless: Viktoria is someone who wants results and she wants them immediately to the highest of standards. Any task that she feels she can do better themselves she’ll do it, but the idea of delegating to someone that isn’t of the same calibre as them irritates them. She has little, if any patience for incompetence. One of the few people she trusts is their fellow Horsemen. I think this restless, easily irritable nature, however, doesn’t win them any points amongst the other factions and especially not the other Horsemen who have to be the literal embodiment of perfection before a good word is uttered by Viktoria.

Manipulative: Every move Viktoria makes and every action that she takes isn’t without an ulterior motive that is there to benefit them or the Horsemen. Its because of this that most people know that Viktoria isn’t one to be trusted no matter how convincing their silver tongue can be.

Unemotional: While Viktoria is able to replicate or even mimic emotion, Viktoria possesses no emotion of their own. Perhaps its because of the way the God created them, with raw starvation and savageness in His mind, or spending many a century deep in the depths of Purgatory, she is unable to express may of the core emotions that others seem to have. Even with the other Horsemen, there’s something innate, almost a primal bond that binds Viktoria with them, perhaps the closest semblance to love she’ll ever be able to feel. Although this is something that I see changing with the length of time she is spending in the Mortal Realm.

In-Character Para Sample

i.

Famine turned to the sharp, jagged opening, their eyes steely and focused on their destination ahead. Their brethren beside them, with the same look of determination frozen onto their faces. Famine newly formed, newly arrived knew almost intrinsically that these three were instrumental to their success. Their joint success of bringing about the destruction of the Worlds that He had created, for where there was creation, there would be a a slow degradation that the Four were feeding off of long before their conception.

Famine looked upon the jagged piece of cut air, the friction lined with a sliver of gold a beacon that did not serve as their waiting room before they were unleashed upon God’s Earth. They stepped in together, a cold rage burning in the pit of their hollow stomach, as they stared at the bleak expanse of space full of the lingering tortured souls that had not managed to reach Heaven or Hell. It wasn’t as if Famine would have rather been amongst their Creator’s other subjects in either of the other two realms. The mere glimpse of Heaven and its blinding light was just as dull to them as its inhabitants. Famine could sense their brethren’s pursuit for other tasks as she moved forward with their own. What would she make of the expanse in front of them? What purpose did it serve if they were meant to lay here in wait for the downfall of everything that was holy, everything that was impure and everything in between? And what was she supposed to do here? Famine was no mere mortal and the place they were in was not Eden. She could not and would not pluck the metaphorical apple from the tree and take a bite to give them free will. No. Famine had a purpose, they all did. And so she would stay in the deepest of recesses of hunger, laying in want with a need to be fed and a desire of more from their very existence.

And so she wandered the realm’s depths, Famine, who was created from a starved piece of flesh, who was ordered to carry out the end of all of His creations and cast away along with their brothers and sister until the time was right did what she was told. Until she didn’t. With God’s gaze above, managing His unruly subjects, Famine chose to set themselves on their own path. Manifesting their dissatisfaction into something tangible into something that she could taste, something that she could feel. Famine had to barely reach out from the depths of their mind to weave together an image of their own design. She wondered as she crafted and composed the dilapidated pillars of their glass fortress one day whether it was the divinity in them that allowed them to formulate and construct the way that she did. But Famine need only have taken a step back and gazed upon their crooked kingdom to see that the power that she possessed was entirely their own.

ii.

Viktoria descended from, Albtraum, their gaunt skeletal steed, just outside of the building in which they knew their brethren sat waiting for their arrival. She caressed the curve of his starved face in what can only be described as affectionate if it was at all possible for them to feel such an emotion. Viktoria had taken to travelling to The Holy Hall on their creature, it was purely political after all. It was essential that the factions remembered the Horsemen’s status amongst them all, the last thing she wanted for them was their own place in the house of cards to topple, like Creator, like Created.

She walked up the steps to the dimly lit hall they were sat in, their gaze took them in, each a handful of chaos and each far too complacent with the New Order than she had liked. It was one thing following them out of their vision of Purgatory to the opaque opulence of this plain to then be reduced as a collective, as mere remnants of God’s corporeality. No. Viktoria wouldn’t let their descent go any further. She would feed Ryuk with as many decimations as he desired, she would work in Nerissa’s bloodlust and settle Dmitri’s whims in their plans if it meant that they would follow in their ascent. They only needed time and patience and resilience so she could work to mould and manipulate the upper echelons of government. They all knew better, as Viktoria did with them, to go against their unrivalled ability to formulate.

Viktoria nodded at each, in respect, before taking a seat at the table, waiting for one to speak with the burning questions that she knew they possessed.

“Michael, again?” Nerissa spoke an ever-present impatience permeating their voice.

Viktoria looked at them their eyes resigned at the picture that had been created almost involuntary, without their permission. She hated not having a choice. “Yes, it would seem we have landed on a treasure trove.”

“But it is a matter that solely concerns you, sister, not us.” Ryuk interjected, for the first time addressing the unspoken tensions that threw a spotlight on the friction between them all since they stepped out of the middling realm.

Dmitri, with as much solidarity as they possessed reached over, clasping their hand in their own. Viktoria smiled coldly at Ryuk, not before squeezing Dmitri’s hand in reassurance. She was calm; she was controlled.

“Surely, Death,” she emphasised, wanting to remind them all of their position that had been clouded by mortal names and mortal feelings. “You value the hold of your status than of a few mortal souls?”

There was silence. Viktoria knew they hesitated, they had been stripped of their purpose, they knew of nothing else.

“We must continue to play their game,” Dmitri spoke.

Viktoria nodded, a wave of satisfaction washing over the itch that she knew was pent up in them as well as in the others. “Until the time is right.” Because when time was right, Viktoria knew she would be Famine once again, the three Horsemen by their side looking over an endless sea of destruction and doom.

Extras

Not that great at graphics etc so will be thinking of headcanons as I write and develop Viktoria more!

[scoundrels-in-love]

for the ask meme: 9, 32 & 49 please!

It’s only been 10 days... It’s only a guess which ask game you sent this for...! ^^; (I am basing it on the fact I read the questions and mused about them for this whole time so I am probably right about the game.) @nossbean

9. What are your favorite fanfics?

Oh no. Oh no. I could and should write POSTS upon POSTS about this.

But I haven’t, because I don’t have the energy to. So you get a cheat version of some of my random favorites from my last pages of my AO3 history. And few special shout outs.

@angel-deux-writes Worth is a wholeass gem and I haven’t commented yet, but I binged it basically today (with exception of first chapter) and I can’t stop yelling about it internally, because the way she says things!! She always has some of my favorite Brienne characterization I get so envious over. There is strength and pride in it, and vulnerability and fear and the acknowledgment that her self-loathing is unfounded yet how hard it is to defend yourself, even knowing all that. I could write essays about it and Angel’s stories in general. Anything by her is a treasure trove, truly.

@samirant Rush Me All Night Long is a fascinating concept, so very well executed and absolutely captivating. Makes me go slack-jawed with awe with how seamless it is. And beyond the craftsmanship of the story form itself, the contents are absolutely epic, too. Intrigue, growth of relationship, dash of humor that is right up my alley, lot of good other characters with their wonderful insights... Nothing to add or take away. Just great. And you KNOW you should check rest of her writing out, too. You won’t regret it.

@ajoblotofjunk is back with another subtly, but powerfully in-depth world story with Baby I Will. How many professions has she gotten degree in already? Because the way she weaves art of playing in bars is so organic. And oh, the connection between Jaime and Brienne... Electrifying, a storm that starts as static sparks as they brush past each other. And I can’t wait to watch it grow. (Also shout out to her absolutely beyond epic gift to me, Petrichor. Which is mindblowingly great and written at haste I cannot comprehend. It couldn’t be more tailored to me and I tear up just thinking about it.)

LadyRhiyana’s Stray Sparks II is the perfect example why I tell someone at least once a week “I wish I could LadyRhiyana this”. Her absolutely amazing skill to capture a whole setting, a whole world of emotions in sometimes as few as 5 to 10 sentences (and not the 30 word sort!) is just... Mesmerizing. I admire it so much and am typically absolutely enamored by her stories. Crossover is also in my history and I am absolutely head-over-heels for it.

@kurikaesu-haru Thirsty is the most endearing, captivating way to combine the two meanings of the word and I adore it to pieces. It’s fun and emotional and hot, and everything it could possibly need to be and then some, in best way possible. And her works contain more and more of gold mines, truly.

@firesign23 is a treasure, to this fandom and to me in particular, for many reasons. But her skill to devastate me with short stories is truly something else.  Odd Socks (link to one of my favorite of the lot, but do give them all a read if you haven’t!) is what I have in my history, but I rec her as a writer 1000%. Her prompt fills are always poignant and not shy of ache and I can only marvel at them all. But also how could I miss out on mentioning her two breathtaking recent stories for fic exchange? Hold Steady is a Journey without ever leaving Winterfell, but the miles traveled by weary, worried, longing hearts in it... Oof. And, of course, I have to mention by hearts and hands made fast because it’s for me and it made me cry real tears more than once (!) and actually yell in real life, like no other story. Real and complicated as the characters deserve to be told, painful and comforting, absolutely breathtaking in the prose... I could rant for days, truly. And truly, wherever you look at her work, you’ll find more of it.

@aviss Skin Deep is just gem, gem, gem. Am I biased because she wrote for me, in a sense? Maybe. But she ACED it in ways I can barely comprehend. Everything I could wish for in the concept is there and more. Sweet pining, absolute besottery and realistic realizations and then hot, earnest resolutions... What a gem. As is rest of her works, really!

32. Past or present tense? 

I used to be such a past tense snob. Nothing else for me, no sir. But now I write almost exclusively in present tense. I can’t tell when the shift happened, I think when I was 20 or few years older than that, and I don’t know why, I think I read a good fic, like really good one, and also was trying to bypass my writer’s block by switching it up. And I found a certain freedom in it. A sense that it makes sense for me to go deeper, to be in present turmoil and wax poetics about it for few paragraphs. Because it’s currently happening, instead of retelling if something that has been. It freed me more in past tense, too, though.

It’s odd I don’t remember how and why the shift happened, almost makes me feel sad.

Nowadays I mostly write in past tense because I get too caught up in flashback sort of sequences and can’t make it grammatically correct anymore so I switch everything to past tense. Tomorrow (with you) is prime example.

49. Where do you draw inspiration from? 

Anything. The other day, I was bitterly laughing with a friend I could write a piece about stain on floor, create whole 1-3k word story about someone thinking about the stain, etc. Doesn’t matter if it has funny shape or not, known origin or not.

Most often, though, it’s prompts, it’s song lyrics, it’s some kind of thought/belief I have for character that I want to express/see them through some kind of event in way I think they would. Sometimes, it’s specific setting or watching something. Like, there was one (1) almost head-kiss in a kdrama with secret identities and I created a whole 10k word worth story idea off of it... Sometimes, it’s honestly even just a dumb, dumb post. But yes, music/feelings/prompts, I’d say are the main thing.

And as for inspiration drawn for writing itself... That’s a difficult question for me, right now. In kindest, non-rambly way I’d probably say what other people have lived and written.

Send me fanfic question?<3

[clevervonskelli]

The Liberator (2020)

I have been excited about this project since the very first hints about it were released, so in full disclosure I have to admit that I approached this with high hopes. I also have to disclose that – despite being a huge military history nerd and a fan of reading source material before adaptions are made – I have not had a chance to read The Liberator: One World War II Soldier's 500-Day Odyssey from the Beaches of Sicily to the Gates of Dachau by Alex Kershaw, so I cannot speak to how accurate anything is, nor can I comment on the quality of the original material either. Here are my thoughts on the visual choices, the characterizations and narrative structure, and the approach to diversity and representation. 

The hybrid-animated style is something that I was a bit surprised by because even after watching the trailers that were released my poor grad-school-addled brain processed it as a marketing choice just for promo. Everything looked like a comic page done by an awesome colourist and it I was :O but also :D Since I love comics, especially those that use muted palettes and a realistic style, I think I adapted to watching something that didn’t look like every other war drama out there a lot faster than my parents, who were watching with me. Comics and war (and WWII in particular) have a fascinating and interconnected history, so although it is a unique way of styling the show it also fits it so well! At times I did find myself wanting to see the characters faces in a bit more detail but, in fact, closeups were better than farther shots. Facial ticks and micro expressions came through well in most scenes and I was impressed all over again with the work the animations teams must have done as well as by the voice work and performances by the actors. I’m so familiar with Bradley James’ face and movements that I was never worried about missing something in his performance because of the show’s visual aesthetics and I feel like all the other cast members were just as transparent to me despite having never had the pleasure of watching them before. Overall, the visual style of the series gave it a certain charm and I imagine it helped to mitigate effects costs on what I don’t THINK was a project with a big budget.

The story itself is one that I really enjoyed. The character Felix Sparks is such a central hero, and I can certainly see how he could come off as too good to be true. The same can be said for most of the characters, from Sergeant Sam Coldfoot’s tenacity and escape from death to the German soldiers who show mercy and do not shoot Sparks while collecting his dead and wounded men from the mountain. **[This in particular seemed odd to me since they were from an SS unit and those dudes were generally some of the nastiest Nazis to ever serve but maybe its from the book, idk. It also underlines the “ugh, officers, ammirite? Except you Sparks, you’re an okay guy” vibe that is so common for military dramas by showing that on both sides there are men who are just soldiers being soldiers. Similar to the events in Aschaffenburg and at Dachau, we are purposefully reminded that there are good and bad people on both sides].                                                                                                                      I think that the heroic portrayals of the characters (while a tiny bit one-dimensional) mostly speak to what the real men must have been like. Or, perhaps more relevantly, to how they have been remembered. This is where I think the source material and how it is used becomes a big factor. Kershaw’s book uses historical research and interviews with Sparks, some of his men, and even some German soldiers. As I said, I have not read it but knowing his style a lot of the elements in the show that feel quite ‘all hail the conquering heroes’, or that are so focussed on the brotherhood of the unit, likely come from his narrative choices. I’m willing to believe that the members of the Thunderbirds were brave and caring men who did what was best for the outcome of the war and for each other, regardless of the personal cost or the expectations of the American military/society at large. We see some of their ‘faults’ in the series – something that is often only possible when it comes to accounts of small-unit fighting – and they are not actually perfect; it just happens to be that those faults have favourable outcomes or are mediated in the particular context of WWII, especially when we are looking back on them decades later. If the character’s representation largely reflects how they have been remembered it seems simplistic to forsake stories expressing awe and hope for daring to do so when the limitations or biases inherent to memory are also at fault. I believe it will always be important to tell the stories of individuals who inspire us to be better, which I think The Liberator does in a few different ways. All the same, having more time to dig deeper into the characters would have made them much more dynamic and would have been amazing.

On that note, it is important to be critical of how the ethnic/racial differences were addressed. The focus of the series narrows quite a bit by the end of the first episode to follow Sparks. I believe that the Kershaw book uses him as a primary interviewee, so that plays into it, but this is also where having the series be longer would have made a difference. Following a central character is a model of historical narrative that works and has worked for quite some time. It is essentially a safe bet for a project like this that I’m sure did not have the luxury of taking chances, but it didn’t allow for us to really dive into the other characters beyond what see of them through Sparks’ eyes. As the 2ndLt and later Captain of the battalion I think it’s fair to have a significant portion of the story told from his perspective or with him as a focal point because his position affords him the most information to share, but adding more variation of voices could have been so good! Instances of other characters talking about him in the series are great moments that give the other characters more ‘screen-time’ and also nicely back up the claims of brotherhood and togetherness that the overall story is making about the men. Having them speak about themselves too would have been even more awesome. The elements of simplification or Nationalism that can be felt when Sparks whips the men into shape and they become a fine fighting unit made up of usually segregated Native American/Indigenous, Mexican American, and white cowboy soldiers would be mediated by this more equal sharing of perspective. I have little doubt that the real men came together in an unexpected but inspirational way that discarded (most) of the prejudices that existed outside of their little bubble in order to fight a common enemy – at the very least their strategic accomplishments and survival would suggest as much. The portrayal of their coming-together would benefit from being a tad less contrived or solely laid on Sparks’ shoulders.

Overall, I really enjoyed the series and I hope more people watch it. It’s not perfect by any means but it does do a nice job of making a small but important chunk of history more accessible and it attempts to provide a realistic representation of events that border the unimaginable.

I would love to hear what anyone else thought of it.

[queenmylovely]

Wedding Party II

Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. A game night between friends will surely take off the tension from whatever’s going on with you and Ben. 

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: cussing, building tension, charades 

A/N: This is the third and final (multiple) part(s) of my 500 follower celebration!! Thank you so much again to everyone who follows me, including the people that have since I hit 500, cause it’s been a minute, whoops. I was planning three parts for this, but I got into the charades so we’re looking at four instead! (p.s. if you want to try to guess the charade movies before the characters do that’s how I tried to write it lol) Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!

Part I, Part III, Part IV, Mini i, Mini ii, Masterlist

(yet again wonderful gif by @mrbenhardys) 

💖💖💖

Ben couldn’t believe how close he had come to kissing you the other night. He had diverted it last second by kissing your cheek, but even that teetered too far over the line of what was supposed to happen. If fucking someone at Rami’s wedding wasn’t allowed, then developing a full-on crush wasn’t either. But boy was he.

Even though you were the one that had mentioned hearing about him when the two of you first met, he was surprised to see that all of the references to you by his friends hadn’t failed to live up. In fact, he would probably say that what they said didn’t do you justice. Though he wouldn’t advertise it, he had also done a quick instagram stalk and thought you were even more beautiful in person.

Rami hadn’t slipped up like Lucy and mentioned your name specifically when telling him not to sleep with anyone at the wedding, but even so, Ben found all of his focus on you when it came to that rule. Whether it was because you had known of but never met each other for so long or simply because of who you were, you fascinated him.

Which he knew was dangerous in this particular situation. But he reminded himself that he would only have to see you at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception. He thought that maybe after that something more could develop, but until then he would have to stay on track.

_

But when Ben got out of the car to head into Rami and Lucy’s building and held the door open for someone behind him, his whole plan was ruined when that person was you.

“Oh, hi!” you said cheerily and he said hi back; you were trying to mask the mixture of excitement and dread you were feeling. Excitement at seeing Ben and spending time with him and dread at seeing Ben and spending time with him.

The two of you walked across the lobby and to the elevator. Ben pushed the button and you waited together. He had the same internal dilemma going on but he just smiled and said, “I can assume you’re going to game night too then?”

“That’s a safe assumption. Haven’t seen you at one of these before,” you pointed out, trying to make casual conversation. The elevator dinged and you both got on, Ben again hitting the button for the correct floor.

“Yeah, my last film had a lot of night scenes and stuff so I was always busy. But that’s in post and my next one will be mainly day shoots so I’ll be able to come to more of these,” Ben explained as the elevator doors opened and the two of you walked into the hallway.

“We’ll be seeing a lot of each other then,” you commented during the short walk to their front door. You reached up and knocked twice.

“Yep.”

Then at the same time, the two of you sighed. Your heads whipped towards each other in confusion and you were both about to say something in response or question when the door opened.

“Ben! Y/N! You made it, and look at you arriving together, already practicing for the wedding, huh?” was Joe’s excited greeting when he opened the door.

“Hey mate, good to see you,” Ben told Joe, giving him a hug.

“Hey Joe,” you said with a smile as you hugged him. Then you teased, “Did Lucy and Rami hire you as their butler or do you just really enjoy opening doors?”

Ben laughed at what you said even though he didn’t have the full context and you felt your cheeks heat up.

As the three of you walked into the apartment Joe just barked out a laugh and told you, “You’re hilarious.”

You smiled at him, “I try.”

Once you reached the living room, you saw both Rami and Lucy there, setting up the snacks. Gwilym was there as well, but he was pouring a couple glasses of wine. They all put down what they were holding and came over to do the usual greetings and such. Apparently, it was only to be you six because some of the other regulars had other obligations.

After everyone had a little plate of snacks and a glass of red or white, Rami began his usual little spiel at the beginning of game nights, “Alright everyone, welcome to game night. We will be playing team games, so partner up now.”

“Dibs on Gwil,” Joe called out, looking directly at you with a smirk. If only he knew how good he had really gotten you.

You shot back, “That’s fine by me. I’m sure Ben will be a great teammate.”

All the same, Ben shot Joe a quick look that he didn’t understand and you shot Lucy a quick this-wasn’t-my-fault look that she accepted with a nod.

Rami continued, “Great, we have three games lined up, but we can play as many times as we like. Lastly, remember that this is strictly a friendly competition, so no sore losers when Lucy and I beat all of you,”

“Oh it’s on,” Joe replied. Then he and Rami got into a little trash-talk.

Ben laughed and turned to you, “Are you competitive?”

“Well… I suppose that’s something one could say about me,” you said with a sheepish smile.

“I hope I’m not too big of a disappointment then, I’m not the best at these types of things,” Ben said with a slightly awkward smile.

“I’m sure you’ll be great,” you said, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Anyway I’m not nearly as competitive as them.”

You nodded towards Rami and Joe who were jokingly getting in each other’s faces, unable to hold back their own laughter. Ben and you burst into laughter, joining Gwil and Lucy’s at the sight. It took you a second longer to realize that your hand was still on Ben’s shoulder. You only did because Ben had looked at it and you removed it before it became so awkward you had to leave.  

Luckily, Rami and Joe were done with their shenanigans and everyone was ready to start the first game. It turned out to be charades and little slips of paper were quickly divided between the three groups.

Rami and Lucy went first and both were ridiculously quick at guessing each other’s answers. You supposed it came with living together and such as well as being actors.

Then Gwil and Joe were up and they didn’t fare quite as well. For some reason, Joe was being far too elaborate with his acting and would mime putting on a swimsuit, putting on sunscreen, swimming, and then being chased by something just to get Jaws. Gwil was good at the charade as soon as he actually started, but he seemed to overthink every word before he started.

Finally, it was you and Ben. You went first, saying before you started, “Sorry I’m literally the only non-actor here.”

Ben waved you off with a laugh. Then Lucy flipped the timer over and you quickly opened the first slip. It said Jurassic Park and you breathed a quick sigh of relief. Then you pointed at Joe, put your hand to the height of a little kid and did T-Rex arms.

“Jurassic Park!” Ben exclaimed and though Joe said something about that not being fair, you moved on.

Next you mimed taking a ring off and holding it up to your eyes, staring at it intensely.

“Lord of the Rings, next!”

The next one was harder, but you got going. First, you pretended to be eating toast and coffee. Second, you did some characters: one with crossed arms and a frown, one flexing muscles, one reading a book and pushing up glasses, one flipping their hair and giggling, and one pulling their hair and shaking their head.

“Okay, okay, eating and drinking, a meal? Breakfast? Breakfast. And these are different people? I don’t know that first one. Then a jock? A nerd? A pretty girl? Oh, oh! The Breakfast Club!” Ben shouted, looking proud of himself for getting it and you couldn’t help but smile before moving onto the next one.

You ended up getting five before time ran out, just one less than Lucy had on her turn. Now it was Ben’s turn to do the charading and you were ready to be the one guessing.

As you switched spots, Ben whispered to you with a smile, “Good job.”

Trying not to show your happiness at his little praise, you just nodded and returned a whisper of, “Thanks.”

Ben got ready, doing a little jog in place warmup as a joke and you probably laughed harder than necessary. Then Lucy counted down from three and flipped over the timer.

As Ben picked up the first slip, you leaned forward to pay attention.

With a nod, Ben started his first charade. He mimed someone in the shower and for a quick second you pictured what he would look like in the shower. But once you said shower, he moved to the next part, getting out of the “shower” and then whipping back the curtain and pumping his from near his head to in front of him again and again. Then you realized that he was pretending to stab someone.

“Psycho!” you yelled and Ben grinned.

After picking up the next slip the first thing Ben did was scrunch up his face in a snarl, crouching down to all fours and making a hand into a claw, stalking closer to you. You felt a weird mixture of apprehensiveness and something else as he got closer and had to remind yourself this was a clue.

Ben was only about a foot away from your legs before you blurted out, “Cat, uh, lion, tiger!”

Tiger was the one so Ben stood up and then mimed rowing a boat. You thought for a second before quickly stating, “Life of Pi.”

Two more slips later, you were only two away from a tie with Lucy and Rami and you had about thirty seconds on the clock.

Ben snatched up another slip and read it, a frown taking over his face for a second. Then he recovered and started miming drumming. Next he did guitar and keyboards then singing.

“Drums. Ok, guitar, keyboards, oh a band!” you said and Ben nodded before moving on.

Next he started dancing, which you could hardly stop from laughing at, but just because it was cute. He was doing lots of 70’s moves like the hustle, YMCA, John Travolta’s move from Saturday Night Fever, and others you didn’t know the name for.

“The hustle. Um, YMCA? The Village People? Disco?” you said as you tried to stifle your giggles.

Ben nodded quickly and then motioned to keep going.

“Um… a disco… band?” you questioned and got another carry on gesture from Ben. “ABBA?”

After a thumbs up, Ben mimed the sign for movies and then singing and it came to you and you jumped up, “Mamma Mia!”

“Yes!” Ben exclaimed right as Lucy called out time. He came over to you by the couch and brought you into a tight hug that almost lifted you off the ground and you laughed out loud in surprise.

Lucy cleared her throat and you and Ben let each other go quickly, turning to look at her. She just raised an eyebrow and smirked, “You know you two didn’t actually get enough to tie me and Rami.”

“Good thing it was just a friendly competition,” you pointed out with an equally fraught with meaning smile.

“And we have two more games to try and beat you guys,” Ben pointed out, with a regular smile.

“Actually, I think you mean that you have two more games to lose to us,” Joe cut in, breaking all the tension and making everyone laugh good-naturedly.

_

The night went on and in the end Rami and Lucy did win because while they lost to you and Ben in trivia, they beat everyone during taboo. Poor Gwil and Joe didn’t win anything, though they claimed that was because they were out of practice.

Once the games were done, music was turned on and everyone got to chatting. You were talking with Joe and Rami about New York and the other three were talking about their upcoming projects more in depth.

Then you realized your drink was running low and excused yourself to go refill it. What you didn’t see as you were walking over to where the wine was was Ben jumping up and excusing himself to do the same.

Just as you were reaching to grab a bottle, you heard him say, “Allow me.”

You turned to realize he was standing just a step behind you and you slowly placed the bottle in his outstretched hand. Then he reached around you to set down his glass and grab yours and you sucked in a breath at the feeling of him just barely brushing against you.

Ben started pouring the wine and as he was doing so, looked up at you with a hint of a smirk on his face.

You realized you were probably just staring at him with your mouth open so you fixed your face and said, “So is this becoming a thing? Are you always going to make my drinks for me?”

Ben laughed lightly and handed your glass back to you. As he picked up his glass, his arm grazed your waist and you had to physically take a step back so you wouldn’t take one forward and kiss him.

Then you heard loud laughter coming from the couches and you both looked to see Rami sitting on Lucy’s lap, both of them laughing so hard they could barely breathe. You smiled at the joy and Ben looked at you with a smile.

“They’re so in love,” he commented and you nodded, a dreamy look in your eyes.

“I’m so excited for the wedding. It’ll be beautiful,” you replied. “I’ve been to a lot of weddings and not everyone’s meant for it but they are.”

“Really?” Ben asked.

“Yeah, some of them are more in it for the wedding than the actual marriage you know?” Ben nodded. “Luce and Rami want a special day, but it’s more important to them who’s there than what it looks like.”

“I had a mate from primary who must’ve had over 300 people at his wedding. I didn’t even get to talk to him and we had been best mates when we were young, so they’re definitely doing the right thing with quality over quantity too,” Ben told you.

“Wow, yeah. I guess along the same lines I can see what Lucy means. But it was a little much to tell me we couldn’t--” you stopped yourself right before revealing that you weren’t allowed to sleep with Ben to Ben. You hoped that Ben didn’t notice your abrupt stop, but he did, his brows furrowing.

“We couldn’t…?” he asked, his thoughts flashing to his conversation with Rami.

“I just-- we, like, the guests, couldn’t-- well shouldn’t-- or it’d be better to--”

“Hey Y/N, who was it from our class that got married recently with that wild theme wedding?” Lucy called over to you, and you quickly took it as a chance to get out of this conversation with Ben.

So you turned to Lucy and as you spoke, and slowly walked over to where they were, leaving Ben to either stay where he was alone or join everyone else in the conversation, “It was Amanda. And the theme was that elf… village? From Lord of the Rings, the one where Cate Blanchett lived.”

“Lothlórien,” Gwil informed everyone.

“Sure. Some of it went over my head, but it was pretty,” you commented. By that time, Ben had taken a seat next to you, his thigh touching yours. The conversation turned into a debate about theme weddings but it was hard to stay fully focused with Ben’s warmth interrupting your thoughts. Those damn thighs aren’t fair, you complained to yourself.

_

This time, you were the first to get up to leave since you had brunch with a friend the next morning.

“Are you good to drive?” Lucy asked since you had had three glasses of wine.

“Oh, I took an uber here, so I was just going to take another one back,” you answered.

“This late at night?” she asked, a worried look on her face.

“Well I always kinda take ubers this late…” you mumbled.

“You know what? I have something tomorrow too, I can take you home. I’ve only had a glass and a half,” Ben suggested, holding up his half full glass as proof.

“Oh, you don’t have--” you started but were interrupted.

“Per-fect!” Lucy said with a smile and you resigned yourself to accepting the ride.

You and Ben gathered your things and then said your goodbyes, getting hugs and kisses from all, especially Lucy who was four glasses in and a little tipsy.

Then you and Ben walked out of the apartment, following the same path you had taken together only a couple hours ago. You chatted about this and that but you were more focused on how your hands would brush against each other every fifth step or so than the conversation.

That is until Ben said, “So you’ve never used my number.”

You weren’t expecting that so you coughed in surprise before answering, “Well, I texted you saying it was me so you had mine too.”

“Well… okay,” Ben said a little sheepishly.

“Okay,” you responded before pulling out your phone. You went to your Instagram dms and found a meme that you thought he would like and sent it to him. “There you go, I used it.”

Ben took out his phone when he got the notification and opened it, laughing when he saw what it was, “Oh my gosh, this is so cute. You know I have a dog.”

“You do?” you asked, getting excited.

“Yeah her name’s Frankie. Here,” he replied, going to his home screen where you could see a picture of just about the cutest beagle you’ve ever seen.

“Oh my goodness, she’s adorable. Ugh I love her,” you said, going a little goo-goo at the sight of the dog. It helped that owning a dog was always an item on your pro list for guys.

“She’s the best. Oh, here we are,” Ben said, gesturing to his car.

The two of you got in, but before he turned on the engine Ben said, “Here, watch this video of her.”

Ben leaned over the console to show you and you met him halfway, both of you turning your eyes down to the phone to watch Frankie running around what you would assume is Ben’s apartment, fresh from a bath. You and Ben laughed at her antics and when she jumped up on the couch and wiggled around on her back, Ben’s groan in the video and groan in real life synched up and you lost it.

Ben couldn’t help but laugh too, but he said, “Hey, that left a stain, that’s a suede couch.”

That just made you laugh harder and soon both you and Ben were leaning on each other for support as you tried to catch your breath. As your laughter finally died down, you looked up at Ben, whose face was only a few inches from yours and as a couple more giggles passed your lips, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at Ben’s. You looked back at his eyes and caught him doing the same, biting your lip in anticipation. Both of you leaned a little closer, a little closer, until you were so close you could feel Ben’s breath on your lips.

Then your phone’s ringtone went off, louder than reasonable and you both jumped in surprise. You picked it up again and saw that it was Lucy calling.

“Yes, Lucy?” you answered with a bit of a sigh, your rational mind returning and reminding you that you weren’t supposed to kiss Ben.

“I forgot to tell you to text me when you get home!” she practically yelled and you held the phone away from your ear. You could hear Rami shushing her on the other end.

“Okay, I will, don’t worry, Luce,” you reassured her before saying a quick goodbye and hanging up.

Ben had turned on the engine and was starting to pull out of the parking space.

“She just wanted me to let her know when I get home,” you explained.

“Yeah I heard,” Ben said with a laugh. “Just, uh, tell me where to go.”

“Oh yeah,” you replied, remembering that he was taking you to your house and not back to his.

💖💖💖

Permanent taglist: @riseetothesun @caborhapch @drowseoftaylor @queenlover05 @johndeaconshands @supersonicfreddie

Series taglist: @killer-queen-87 @theprettyandthereckless @radiob-l-a-hblah @theonsasheart @hannafuckingsucks​

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this little series or my permanent one, just send me a message or ask!

[norabrice1701]

An Offer Received - Part II

A Jaguar Villain Tom Hiddleston Character (Thomas Conrad) fanfic

Pairing: Thomas Conrad x Fem!reader

Summary: Part II - Mr. Conrad plays five steps ahead of you, baiting his trap, planting his seed...of change, that is. 

Rating: Part II - an F-bomb or two, controlling behavior 

Previously: Part I - 5 Minutes 

A/N: Thank you for all the Part I love! This work of fiction is intentionally free of any direct country references. Conrad’s sights are set bigger than any one nation. 

GIF credit to the original poster via the Tumblr search! 

Part II - 5 Weeks 

The news sent shock waves through the corporation. Even five weeks later, the rumors still hadn’t died down.

The most common theory was that you fucked him for the position. Sure, you didn’t wear the shortest skirts or the tightest blouses, but you were pretty enough and still a woman – and he was just a man. It was an obvious, frustrating assumption. The second prevailing theory was that you just plain fucked up. Why else would someone move from department head to a glorified office assistant?

Of course, no one ever said anything to your face. Your presence brought too much undeniable authority for anyone to make a direct snide remark. But you didn't buy-in to the gossip about Conrad before, and you didn’t buy-in to the theories now. Everyone could speculate on the limits of your ambition, but you held your head high, secure in the truth that you hadn't sacrificed your integrity to get the position. Hell, it wasn't even something you asked for. 

But with each week that passed, the noise became easier to drown out as your knowledge of the corporation’s inner workings expanded exponentially. As Head of Production, you had a limited purview – but now, nothing was off-limits. Civil service initiatives. Defense contracts. Private buyer agreements. All in addition to the main consumer technology ‘gadget’ market.

It proved endlessly fascinating. The corporation had branched into so many different industrial and municipal strata that it was no wonder LOKI continued to post record-topping revenue each quarter during Conrad’s reign.

It made you wonder. Had Conrad been the architect of all this? Somehow, you doubted the former CEO had left this grand vision for Conrad to execute. The old guard – largely symbolized by Mrs. Brunhilde – was a thing of the past, and Conrad plainly had eyes for the future.

True to his word, you took very few of his calls and managed very little of his schedule. You knew it, of course, and had turned plenty of people away who hoped to just ‘drop in on him’. You’d note names, numbers and topics, adding them to your list of talking points for your daily meeting with him.

Those meetings proved unforgiving on a good day, and brutal if any fires burned. You had to ace it – an ever-changing status to condense the daily workings of a multi-faceted corporation into a few minutes’ time. But Conrad never missed anything – his questions cut to the chase, distilled issues down to their core, and always looked five moves ahead.

Of course, he had to look flawless all the while. You’d never once seen him with his tie loose or sleeves rolled up. His suit jacket came and went, but it wasn't a tell of his mood. He maintained a professional, even keel and nothing ever seemed to fluster him. Even when production numbers took a dip during the transition – even though you would begrudgingly admit that Jeremy Barton was doing a decent job – and even when a lucrative acquisition contract with Hong Kong fell through, you never saw the man break a sweat.

You sighed, forcing yourself back to focus, thumping another file folder onto the stack, this one named Operation ‘Lily Pad’. Oddly enough, the corporate-level initiatives had the most unprofessional and vague names.You’d received word late in the day that Conrad planned to lead a meeting with the corporate investing committee tomorrow. He hadn’t shared the objective, but he had requested four slides of investment figures and activities from each department, highlighting the corporate-level initiatives.

So, here you were at 7:46 pm on a Wednesday night, reading and typing away. At least, you weren’t alone. Not that you were counting, but Conrad hadn’t emerged from his office in over three hours. And he didn’t really have to – with a private washroom, and probably a hidden kitchenette in the wall paneling, why would he?

Perhaps you would look at getting a mini-fridge for your desk if these late-night tasks continued. Your stomach rumbled again with hunger as you reached for the next folder.

Operation ‘Blue Sea’. By far the largest in the company, and the biggest consumer of resources with little to show for profitability. Of all the initiatives in the portfolio, it did look the oddest, but admittedly, you were still coming up to speed on federally-funded projects. You poured over the funding update, trying to condense the information for the slide.  

“I thought you might be hungry.”

You looked up, startled by the sudden mellifluous tone. How had you not heard him exit his office and walk to your desk?

“I…,” you shook your head clear, “I am, sir, but I should really finish this. You have your investing committee meeting up first tomorrow.”

“I do, indeed. And the night is far from over,” he paused, the corner of his mouth lifting as if in regret, “but needs must.”

You eyed him warily, unable to tell if he was making a joke. Had you ever seen him eat? Yes, he’d sipped from coffee mugs, teacups and to-go cups – but you didn’t think you’d ever seen the man ingest food.

“Come on,” he nodded for the suite door, “I know the perfect place.”

His tone told you that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you rose, grabbing your purse and scarf. Early autumn had brought a touch of chill to the daily breeze, but not enough to require a coat. Of course, Conrad was all buttoned-up in his perpetual state of perfection. 

Following him into the elevator, riding in companionable silence with the knowledge that you two were actually leaving together, getting food together…part of you wasn't convinced that this wasn’t a hunger-induced hallucination, while the schoolgirl part of you was giddy with the prospect of a public outing with such a man.

Not that this was anywhere near a date.

“This way.” He turned in the parking garage, dulcet tones echoing off the concrete surfaces.

Dutifully, you followed, just resisting an eye-roll as he strolled up to a gleaming white car. A Jaguar from the markings. 

Of course. Of course, a man in his position would drive such a flashy, sleek, sexy vehicle. He held open the passenger door without further ado, and you didn’t make a fuss about his show of chivalry. As with all things, you knew when to pick your battles. And accepting his dinner not-quite-invitation, sitting in his car, going to a place of his choosing – you knew better to let it play out for now.

He slid with fluid grace into the driver’s seat, closing the door behind him as the car roared to life. The buttery leather of your seat rumbled with the silky purr of the engine for the briefest second before the gears shifted and the car shot out into the night.

One big, seductive power play. How many other women had he poured into this same seat who just opened their legs at the sight of him at the wheel? Admittedly, it was an extremely appealing sight – the effortless ease with which he handled the tightly coiled power and navigated the city traffic. Faint piano music filled the interior, just audible over the engine’s steady growl.

It took you a few measures, but then you recognized it. Your piano teacher would be so proud. “Beethoven,” you glanced over at him with a small smile, “if I’m not mistaken.”

He nodded. “Very good.” The music stretched a little further between you. “Are you a classical music fan, or do you play?”

“A little of both, I suppose. I enjoy a good symphony when I can spare the time. And I took piano lessons through school. Sacrificed it to pursue a more practical career.”

“A shame, really. The world can always use more talented artists.”

You held back a snort. “I wouldn’t say I was a talented artist.”

“Perhaps not, but you’re not the type to accept failure.”

You licked your lips, suddenly uncertain. “And what of yourself? Classical music fan, or do you play?”

“Yes, to both.”

Your gaze dropped to his hands on the steering wheel. Such long, elegant, strong fingers. Perfect pianist’s hands. A blush rose on your cheeks as you turned to look out the windshield. “Well, they do say there’s a correlation between engineering and music.”

“Of course.” He sounded almost bored. “Most of my senior staff are amateur musicians of some kind.”

The thought made you pause. Did he already know that you played piano before asking you? How could he possibly know that? There was no official record of all those years you sat on Mrs. Campbell’s bench with her metronome and stern instructions in your ear. Was there?

Suddenly, the interior felt suffocating and your sense of unease grew. Just what sort of man was Conrad? You knew he was powerful within the walls of LOKI…but just how far did that power extend outside those walls?

He turned off the main street, gliding down a narrow lane that teemed with store and restaurant fronts. You squinted at the passing names, not sure if you’d heard of any of them. Just where exactly were you? 

The car rolled to a stop in front of an unassuming building. Unassuming, but not inelegant. Burgundy lacquer coated the front and swooping gold script simply read Sora’s. Conrad exited the vehicle and you closely followed, not giving him the opportunity to come around for your door again. He did, however, hold the restaurant door open for you to pass through first. 

Couples sat at the majority of tables as servers bustled about. The air was rich with aromas of spices and savory ramen flavors that made your mouth water. A warm, steady hand ghosted the small of your back and you caught a sudden hint of subtle, woodsy cologne. You chased the scent, taking a deep breath. Conrad brushed by you just as quick as he had stepped close - leaving you reeling in his wake. What was wrong with you? One minute you were drooling over the restaurant smells, and the next, wanting only to smell your boss’ cologne. 

God, you needed food. And wine, probably. Lots of wine. 

Conrad stepped up to the host, a smile lighting his face as he was obviously recognized. The host smiled wide, speaking in a smooth Japanese dialect as he gestured at your boss. Conrad returned the man’s greeting, Japanese syllables rolling effortlessly off his tongue. The host handed over a menu and Conrad took it with grace. 

“Here,” he handed it to you, “choose anything you’d like.” 

You skimmed the selections. “What would you recommend?” 

He indicated a couple, and it wasn’t a hard choice. Once he relayed your order to the host, and the host scurried off towards the kitchen, you couldn’t hold back, looking to Conrad with a small smile. “I didn’t know you spoke Japanese.” 

He looked over with a quirked brow, as if surprised at your boldness. “You haven’t needed to know.”

“Did you learn after becoming CEO? Or was this a skill you brought to the position?” 

“You don’t ask such trite questions. I suggest you don’t start now.” 

You froze on the sharp remark. What had changed between the conversation in the car, the touch to your back, and right now to warrant such a response? Perhaps he was uncomfortable in a public setting, talking about himself. Perhaps when you got him alone in the car again, you could...no, there would be no could.

In surprisingly short order, a server rushed to the front with a carry-out bag as the host motioned Conrad forward. 

“Sir,” you called after him, “please let me pay for my dinner.” 

He ignored you, accepting the bag with a nod and parting words that you didn’t understand. Without any further exchange, he turned, easily side-stepping you and holding open the restaurant door in silent expectation. 

You didn’t hold back your glare as you brushed by him. All at once, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d played you. That he’d orchestrated the entire outing to his exact specifications. It was the only explanation why the food had arrived so quick after placing the order and why he didn't pay in person.

You sighed as you settled back into the passenger seat. “Let me see if I understand this right,” you said as Beethoven’s gentle strains resumed, “you called ahead and paid in advance. Of course, you placed your order over the phone, but as far as my food…how did you know what I would choose?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in the passing streetlight. “It’s commonplace for first-timers to ask a regular for their recommendation. Knowing what I would recommend for you helped narrow the selection so the kitchen could plan in advance.”

“But there was still no guarantee that I would pick from your recommendations.”

“There’s very few guarantees on anything, but there's one predictable truth of humanity – the truth that you crave subjugation. You had the freedom of choice, and yet you chose to defer to my direction, instead.”

“Predictable truth of humanity?” You arched a brow in disbelief, offense prickling along your spine. Who did Conrad think he was? “Is that true of you, too, sir?” 

Nothing about Conrad’s demeanor suggested that he enjoyed surrendering control. In fact, he seemed much more the type to enact subjugation than surrender to it. 

Nothing about that thought was comforting.

You turned to glare out the window as he offered no answer to your question. A throng of people had gathered outside of a large building – you couldn’t tell what. Some people held signs for peace, equality; others held hands, small candles, offered prayers and songs; each protesting the injustice that ran rampant and the need for a changed world. 

Conrad’s voice carried softly. “They say we live in the most developed, advanced civilization in all of human history. Yet society rots around us. Global injustice of those still judged for their race, nationality, gender, creed. The superpowers of the world crumble under the very weight of their titles - divided, conflicted - and fail to learn the lessons from history. The Romans proved that military might is not enough to survive. Internal divisions, squabbles – failure at administrating peace – ate the Persian and Mongol empires from within. Focus cannot just be on one strength with the rest ignored; nor, is it worth the risk of burnout from fortifying all fronts at once as the British Empire once did.”

You turned towards him, brow furrowed in the low light. Where was he going with this?

His gaze focused out the windshield, but there was no mistaking the serene conviction on his face. “With each protest, each bombing, each hungry mouth that starves to death – we are witnessing the decline of the modern age as we know it. The leaders of this world, this realm, have been blind too long to acknowledge the problem. And their arrogant, blind ignorance will be their downfall.”

You swallowed, taking in everything he said. It was certainly an unexpected turn of conversation. “You’ve clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this. It’s almost a wonder you aren’t in politics.”

“Their games are meaningless drivel. Their false promises and continual inability to affect global change drive us further into decay.”

“Then…then what are you suggesting? Yes, I agree – change is needed. But you…you do recognize the throne from which you preach?” You couldn’t help a small scoff of disbelief. “You sneer at powerful people on high, making decisions for the world – but how are you any different? Sitting atop the throne of the largest tech giant in the world? One could argue that almost gives you a more powerful platform. At least, everyone knows that you’re just out to make money for the company.”

“Do not mistake me for a robber baron.” His voice lost none of its clipped calm, despite your words. “The opportunities afforded by this position will be made clear to the world soon enough. As will the knowledge that with the right support, the right drive to succeed – change can be realized. For the good of all.”

You had to admit it was a nice thought. A world for the good of all, not just those who the powerful decided it was for. You turned to the window, not entirely sure what to make of the conversation. It surprised you, honestly. You’d never given Conrad enough credit to consider others beyond himself. Yet here he was…sympathetic to the need for global change.

Maybe, just maybe…you could agree with him. You nodded slowly. “For the good of all.”

Up Next: Part III.1 - 5 Months

[auditionsuggestions]

Show Breakdowns - Little Women: The Musical

Here’s a new thing I’m trying! Basically breakdowns and descriptions of characters in a show along with the audition songs I suggest for them! I figued I’d start with a show I know inside and out.  Below the Cut for length. This is specific to the 2005 Jason Howland/Mindi Dickstein version.

Josephine “Jo” March

Playing age: 15-22 (character ages through the show)

Lead. A Star Vehicle role. Jo barely leaves the stage (I should know, I’ve played her before).

Range: E3-A5, Belt to E5. Mezzo Belt (or strong mix)

Dance Requirement: Some movement

Jo is fiery, exuberant, and passionate. All her emotions are extremes which can lead her to be rather blunt or brash and very headstrong. She starts as a complete tomboy and keeps a lot of that as she grows up. The show begins with her in her 20s living in a boarding house in New York City and then Act I flashes back to her teen years in Concord, MA with Act II coming back to her 20s. Her journey is tied to  finding her own unique voice as an author rather than just writing what she thinks will sell. 

Suggested Songs:

Uptempo: Spark of Creation, Children of Eden; Watch What Happens, Newsies; I’m Your Man, Meet John Doe; Times are Hard for Dreamers, Amelie; The Writing on the Wall, The Mystery of Edwin Drood; Live Out Loud, A Little Princess

Midtempo: Journey to the Past, Anastasia; 

Ballad: Woman, The Pirate Queen;  He Threw Me, Meet John Doe;   A Change in Me, Beauty and the Beast

Theodore “Laurie” Laurence

Playing age: 15-22 (ages through the show)

Supporting Character. Doubles as Roderigo I

Range: Bb2-Bb4 (A youthful, contemporary high Tenor)

Dance Requirement: Some movement

Laurie is the quintessential boy next door. He lives with his grandfather and his cat across the way from the March sisters and quickly becomes enthralled by the love, warmth, and joy in their family that he feels lacking in his own house. He and Jo are best friends and almost too alike. After Jo rejects his proposal, he goes away to Europe where (after reuiniting with a now grown up Amy) he matures and he and Jo are able to resume their friendship (now as brother-in-law and sister-in-law). As Roderigo I, he starts as the generic hero of the story Jo is writing.

Suggested Songs:

Uptempo: Top of the World, Tuck Everlasting; Partner in Crime, Tuck Everlasting (Originally duets, can be arranged as solos)

Midtempo: My Petersburg, Anastasia; Corner of the Sky, Pippin (overdone)

Ballad:  Proud of Your Boy, Aladdin; I’ll Be There, The Pirate Queen

Margaret “Meg” March

Playing age: 16-23

Supporting Character. Doubles as Clarissa

Range: Bb3-B5 (Legit Soprano)

Dance Requirement: Some movement

Meg is the eldest of the March sisters and takes it upon herself to try and teach her younger sisters how to act like a proper lady--though she’s still really a kid herself . Meg is the only one of the sisters with a solid memory of what it was like when the family was wealthy and often finds herself yearning for the ease the money would bring to her life. She wants to be accepted and admired in society, but learns that her own happiness is much more important than status or money. As Clarissa, she is the heroine of the story Jo writes growing with Jo’s skill as an author from a generic damsel in distress to her own knight in shining armor.

Suggested Songs: Till there Was You, The Music Man; I’ve Never Been in Love Before, Guys and Dolls; Goodnight My Someone, The Music Man; I Saw Him Once, Les Miserables; I Could Have Danced All Night, My Fair Lady

Elizabeth “Beth” March

Playing age: 13-21 (character ages through the show)

Supporting Character. Doubles as Roderigo II

Range: A3-G5 (Mix Soprano)

Dance Requirement: Some movement

Beth is the third-born of the March sisters. She is the peace-maker of the family and can always be counted on to support or uplift her sisters whenever they need it. She is constantly willing to go out of her way to help those who need it (such as their poor neighbors, The Hummels) and has a deep love of music through which she bonds with Grandfather Laurence. As Roderigo II, she is the twist that shows Jo’s unique flair as a writer, turning out to be the heroine’s sister in disguise rather than another generic swashbuckling hero.

Suggested Songs: How Could I Ever Know, The Secret Garden; The Girl I Mean to Be, The Secret Garden; Much More, The Fantasticks (overdone); Far From the Home I Love, Fiddler on the Roof; The Secret of Happiness, Daddy Long Legs; In My Own Little Corner, R&H Cinderella

Amelia “Amy” Curtis March

Playing age: 12-20 (sometimes cast with 2 actresses as younger and older Amy)

Supporting Character. Doubles as Troll

Range: G3-G5 (Bright, Disney-esque Soprano or Mezzo)

Dance Requirement: Some movement

Amy is the youngest of the March sisters. As a 12 year old, she longs to be grown up and elegant. She normally feels forgotten or left behind as the youngest. Very feminine Amy often butts heads with tomboy-ish Jo as they’re both headstrong and impulsive--two sides of the same coin. As a 20 year old, Amy has been chosen by Aunt March to accompany her to Europe to become cultured and (ostensibly) to be educated in painting (though it’s really more that Aunt March wants Amy to find a suitable husband). Amy returns still headstrong and impulsive, but also now the refined lady she dreamed of being as a child. She eventually falls in love with Laurie as their personalities compliment each other where Laurie’s and Jo’s clashed. As the Troll, she is an obstacle for Clarissa to overcome, representative of conquering materialism.

Suggested Songs: Love is an Open Door, Frozen; That’s How You Know, Enchanted; A Lovely Night, Cinderella; I Could be Happy With You, The Boy Friend; Follow Your Heart, Urinetown; Beyond My Wildest Dreams, The Little Mermaid; Much More, The Fantasticks (possibly overdone)

Marmee March

Playing age: ~42-50 (Flexible as Marmee’s age is never given)

Supporting Character. Doubles as Hag

Range:D3-E5 (a warm Mezzo or Alto)

Dance Requirement: A little movement (one number).

Marmee is the mother of the March girls. With her husband away at war (and not featured in the show at all), it falls on her alone to raise the girls to be strong, brave, and compassionate young women. Marmee is wise and loving, but not overly indulgent or lenient with the girls. She hides much of her grief and struggles (and temper) from her daughters so that they feel they can always lean on her. (Fun fact, Meg and Amy are both named after Marmee, whose given name is Margaret and maiden name was Curtis). As the Hag, she is an obstacle for Clarissa to overcome, representative of conquering vanity

Suggested Songs: Back to Before, Ragtime; What Kind of Woman, Ragtime; Sensitivity, Once Upon A Mattress; When There’s No One, Carrie: the Musical, Close the Door, Anastasia

Aunt March

Playing Age: ~65-73 (Flexible)

Supporting Character. Doubles as Mrs. Kirk

Range: D3-E5 (Character Mezzo or Alto)

Dance Requirement: Optional (Possible in “Could You”)

Aunt March is the girls’ formidable, crabby, and very wealthy Great Aunt for whom Jo was named. While she is stern and rigid, she genuinely does love her great nieces and wants to see them succeed in life (granted: “succeed” by her definition). Jo works as a companion for Aunt March, reading to her and fixing things around the house. Amy later takes over this job as she gets older. Mrs. Kirk is Jo’s landlady and employer in New York. Jo is governess to Mrs. Kirk’s daughters. She can be a bit of a busybody, but  is overall very kind to and supportive of Jo.

Suggested Songs: Perfectly Nice, Jane Eyre: the musical; A Slip of A Girl, Jane Eyre; Liaisons, A Little Night Music; So What, Cabaret; Brimstone and Treacle, Mary Poppins; Haven’t Got a Prayer, Sister Act

Professor Friedrich “Fritz” Bhaer

Playing age: 34-35 (but looks older.)

Supporting Character

Range: G2-F#4 (A high Baritone/Baritone with a strong upper extension--should sound older than Laurie and Mr. Brooke)

Dance Requirement: None

Prof. Bhaer is another tenant of Mrs. Kirk’s boarding house in New York. Originally from Germany, he emigrated to America upon his sister’s death to raise her two sons. He and Jo strike up an odd friendship and he becomes her beta-reader. He is nonconfrontational by nature, but will give his honest and blunt opinion when asked (much to Jo’s chagrin at times). He finds himself fascinated by the adventurous young author and eventually they fall in love--a union of equals rather than simply being in love with the idea of Jo as Laurie was.

Suggested Songs:  Some Girls, Once on this Island; I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face, My Fair Lady; Love Sneaks In, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; Emma, Emma the Musical; Charity, Daddy Long Legs

Mr. John Brooke

Playing age: 20-28 (Flexible, no age is given in the story).

Supporting Character. Doubles as Braxton

Range: C#3-Gb4 (A darker tenor than Laurie, but sitll lighter than Prof. Bhaer).

Dance Requirement: None

Though he starts off as Laurie’s rather stiff tutor, Mr. Brooke is a romantic at heart and a big dork. He and Meg are immediately smitten with one another. He later shows off his latent courage by joining up with the Union Army and endears himself to the other sisters (Jo was not particularly keen on his and Meg’s relationship) by escorting Marmee to Washington DC when her husband falls ill. As Braxton, he is the classic over the top melodrama villain in Jo’s story who Clarissa vanquishes with the help of her sister.

Suggested Songs: Everything To Win, Anastasia; There She Was, The Scarlet Pimpernel; Her Voice, The Little Mermaid

Grandfather Laurence

Playing age: ~65-73 (Flexible)

Supporting Character. Doubles as The Knight

Range: C#3-D4 (Gruff Character Baritone or Tenor with a strong lower extension)

Dance Requirement: Optional (possible in “Off to Massachusetts”)

Laurie’s distant and rather foreboding grandfather. Mr. Laurence took Laurie in after the boy was orphaned and is very strict with him. He originally sees his grandson’s involvement with the March girls as an unnecessary and detrimental distraction from Laurie’s studies, but is won over by Beth with whom he bonds as she reminds him of his dead granddaughter in both demeanor and love of music. He eventually becomes a surrogate grandfather to all the March sisters. As the Knight, he is the final obstacle for Clarissa to overcome, representative of accepting self-sacrifice and putting the needs of others first.

Suggested Songs: A Sentimental Man, Wicked; No Matter What, Beauty and the Beast; Something Was Missing, Annie

[harry-leroy]

OK. I've got to ask--Henry VI? I think you're the first person I've met who claims those as their favorite Shakespeare. I'll admit that I've read and seen a fair bit of Shakespeare, but I'm not familiar with them at all. What's the appeal? Why do you love them? Sell them to me. ;)

Oh boy, here we go :))))) (Thank you for giving me permission to scream - I also think I’m the only person I’ve ever met who has those as their favorite Shakespeare plays). Also, as we’ve talked opera - I think these plays could make a great Wagnerian style opera cycle. 

First off, little disclaimer: I’m not a medievalist, so I can’t say that I’ve definitely got the best interpretation of the Wars of the Roses and the history that the H6 cycle covers. I know I do not - so you may read these plays and have totally different interpretations, and that’s great! This will kind of be how I came to love the plays and why they were (and still are) exciting for me to read. 

I will admit, these plays are a bit of a minefield (as my Shakespeare professor said during a lecture on the histories and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that descriptor). Some of these scenes are not as well written, and many of them are almost irrelevant to telling a tight-knit story, so things get cut. Sometimes 1H6 is just cut entirely from productions, and I might venture to say that it is probably the least performed Shakespeare play. We get lines like “O, were mine eyeballs into bullets turn’d, / That I in a rage might shoot them at your faces” (1H6.4.4.79-80), which I might say is nearly on par with “a little touch of Harry in the night” from Henry V. But despite the unevenness, there is so much from these plays that are meaningful, heartbreaking, and that continue to fascinate me. There’s so much about power and leadership that we can learn from these plays - and perhaps that’s why I took an interest in 1990s British politics because there are actually some very interesting similarities happening - but also a lot we can learn about empathy, hope, and love. 

These plays have a lot of fascinating key players - it would honestly be a privilege to play any of them - and most (if not all) of these key players have some claim to power, just in the family lines they were born into. And this conflict is one that’s been building up since Richard II. With the Wars of the Roses we have a man who is unwilling, and sometimes unable to lead because of various circumstances, some of which having to do with his mental health, which was generally poor, and some of which have to do with the various times he was dethroned, captured, etc. - and I say unable for lack of a better word. Essentially, politics in these plays are caving in, and at a very rapid pace. There’s a hole at the center of government and people are ambitious to fill it. We also have a lot of people who could potentially fill that role, people who on principle, have a lot of political enemies. The nobles in these plays are having to assure that they themselves are in power or that their ally is in power, otherwise it is their livelihood at stake. 

We have Henry VI, who was made king at nine months old after the untimely death of his father, the famous Henry V, and basically has people swarming him since birth claiming that they’re working in his best interest. He’s a bit of a self-preservationist to start, but by the end we see a man completely transformed by the horrors of war and ruthless politics. I also think he might be the only Shakespeare character who gets his entire life played out on stage. We see him at every stage of his life, which makes his descent all the more bitter. (One cannot help but see the broken man he is at forty-nine and be forced to remember the spritely, kind boy he was at ten). He’s a man who clings closely to God in an environment where God seems to be absent. He desires peace, if nothing else, and he wants to achieve this by talking things through. He’s an excellent orator (one only needs to look at the “Ay Margaret; my heart is drown’d with grief” monologue from 2H6, but there are countless other examples), but there’s a point where even he realizes that his talking will achieve nothing, and his alternative is heartbreaking. 

We have his wife, Queen Margaret, otherwise known as Margaret of Anjou, or the “she-wolf of France”. I advertise her as “if you like Lady Macbeth, you’ll love Margaret of Anjou”. Sometimes Shakespeare can portray her as wanting power for herself, but I genuinely think she wanted a good life for her husband and her child, otherwise the alternative is begging at her uncle’s feet for protection in France (her uncle was Charles VII of France) while separated from her husband, having her or a member of her immediate family be killed, or worse. I think it’s important to remember with Margaret that historically she came from a family where women took power if their husbands were unable to. Her assumption of power in these plays is something that’s natural to her, even if it’s not reflected very well in Shakespeare’s language. You also see some fantastically thrilling monologues from Margaret as well, especially her molehill speech (one of two molehill speeches in 3H6, totally different in nature - the other one is from a heartbroken and forlorn Henry after the Battle of Towton) - Margaret’s monologue has got the energy of a hungry cat holding a mouse by the tail. 

Also Henry and Margaret have a fascinating relationship. Because they’re so different in how they resolve conflicts, they grow somewhat disenchanted with each other at times, and can actually be mean to one another, despite their love. My favorite scene might be at the start of 3H6, where Margaret has come in with their seven year old son, Edward, and starts berating Henry for giving the line of succession to the Yorkists. What strikes me there is that we have a little boy having to choose between staying with his mom, or going with his dad - it’s something very domestic, and I think the emotional accessibility of that scene is what makes it memorable. It’s not about politics for me at that moment, it’s about a boy having to choose between his very estranged parents. Here’s a little taste from 1.1. in 3H6 - lines 255-261: 

QUEEN MARGARET: Come son, let’s away. / Our army is ready; come, we’ll after them. 

KING HENRY: Stay, gentle Margaret, and hear me speak. 

QUEEN MARGARET: Thou hast spoke too much already. Get thee gone. 

KING HENRY: Gentle son Edward, thou wilt stay with me? 

QUEEN MARGARET: Ay, to be murdered by his enemies. 

We also have Richard, Duke of York, who is Henry’s cousin and leader of the Yorkist faction. If you’re at all familiar with 1990s British politics, as I have grown close to over the past month, York reminds me very much of Michael Heseltine (filthy rich and constantly vying for power) - and I would love to stage some kind of modern H6 cycle production just so I could make that connection. York’s father is one of the three traitors executed by Henry V at the start of H5, leaving him an orphan at four years old (historically). He is also Aumerle’s (from R2) nephew, and so when Aumerle dies at the Battle of Agincourt, little four year old Richard inherits both his father’s money and titles, and his uncle’s money and titles, making him the second richest nobleman in England behind the King. All this information is historical and doesn’t really show up in the play, but I think that kind of background would give a man some entitlement. He’s also next in line for the throne if something were to happen to Henry (until Henry has a son), so he feels it is his duty as heir to the throne to protect Henry (or in better words, he feels that he should be running the show) - Margaret feels that it is her duty to protect Henry as she is his wife and mother of Edward of Westminster, the Lancastrian heir, and so you can see where these two are going to disagree. 

More fascinating are York’s sons, Edward, George, and Richard. Edward is this (for lack of better words) “hip” eighteen year old who comes and shreds things up at the Battle of Towton - becoming Edward IV in the process and chasing Henry off the throne. He is incredibly problematic, but I might venture to say that he’s the least problematic of the trio of York brothers. George of Clarence is (also for lack of better words) “a hot mess” and feels entitled to power, even though he may not readily give his motivations for it. I think he just wants it, and so he actually ends up switching sides mid-3H6 because he would actually be in a better position in government with those new allies. And finally, we have Richard of Gloucester (future Richard III), and in 3H6, you just get to see him sparkle. It puzzles me a bit how people can just jump into Richard III without getting any of the lead up that Shakespeare gave in the H6 cycle, and I think 3H6 is the perfect play to see that. I think it clears up a lot of his motivation, which Shakespeare didn’t get perfectly either, because there are some ableist things going on with these plays. He’s just as bloodthirsty, just as cynical, but in this play, he wins out the day. 

These are just a few of the main characters. We’ve also got Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick (known to history as “The Kingmaker”), who is this incredibly powerful nobleman who is wicked skilled in battle and seems to have a lot of luck in that area (until he doesn’t). We’ve got Clifford, who is just as bloodthirsty as Richard III (if not more so). We’ve also got Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester - Henry’s uncle and quite unpopular with his fellow noblemen, and Eleanor Cobham, his wife who gets caught in the act of witchcraft. (Talk to my lovely friend @nuingiliath if you want to hear about Humphrey or Eleanor). Joan of Arc also makes an appearance in 1H6, and often she’s the only reason that 1H6 gets performed. 

There are so many ways to latch onto this cycle, and it can be for the huge arcs that these characters go on, or it can be for the very small reasons, like in the first scene of 3H6, like I mentioned earlier. It’s very much akin to Titus Andronicus in the language (I did a bit of research a while ago about the use of animal-focused language in Shakespeare’s plays, and the H6 cycle and Titus Andronicus lead the charts just in terms of frequency of people being referred to metaphorically as animals- they’re also chronological neighbors, all written very early in Shakespeare’s career). Also, these plays held a huge amount of weight at the time they were written - the effects of the Wars of the Roses were still pressing over the political climate of the 1590s. 

I think these plays are great to read just in being able to contextualize the histories as a whole - you get to know how things fared after Henry V (spoiler: not well), and you also get the lead up to Richard III. The ghosts in Richard’s dream make sense after reading the H6 cycle - because those ghosts lived in the H6 cycle, and (spoiler: Richard wronged them in the H6 cycle). They were also the first of Shakespeare’s history plays, so you read subsequent histories plays that make subtle references to the H6 cycle, and I think you can take so much more out of the rest of the histories plays once you’ve read these. 

I hope this was a little informative, and perhaps persuaded you to check them out! 

Productions I recommend (you can click on the bold titles and it’ll take you to where you can access these productions): 

Shakespeare’s Globe at Barnet (2013) // Graham Butler (Henry VI), Mary Doherty (Margaret of Anjou), Brendan O’Hea (Richard, Duke of York), Simon Harrison (Richard of Gloucester) - filmed at Barnet, location of the Battle of Barnet, where Warwick was killed in 1471. 

ESC Production (1990) // Paul Brennen (Henry VI), June Watson (Margaret of Anjou), Barry Stanton (Richard, Duke of York), Andrew Jarvis (Richard of Gloucester) - a more modern production, one cast put together all seven major Plantagenet history plays (1H6 and 2H6 are combined into one play - a normal practice). Sometimes this footage can be a bit fuzzy, but I loved this production. 

The Hollow Crown Season 2 // Tom Sturridge (Henry VI), Sophie Okonedo (Margaret of Anjou), Adrian Dunbar (Richard, Duke of York), Benedict Cumberbatch (Richard of Gloucester) - done in a film-like style, also with some pretty big name actors as you can see. Season 1 stars Ben Whishaw as Richard II, Jeremy Irons as Henry IV, Simon Russell Beale as Falstaff, and Tom Hiddleston as Hal/Henry V. (also available on iTunes) 

RSC Wars of the Roses (1965) // David Warner (Henry VI), Peggy Ashcroft (Margaret of Anjou), Donald Sinden (Richard, Duke of York), Ian Holm (Richard of Gloucester) - black and white film, done in parts on YouTube. 

BBC Henry VI Plays (1983) // Peter Benson (Henry VI), Julia Foster (Margaret of Anjou), Bernard Hill (Richard, Duke of York), Ron Cook (Richard of Gloucester) - features my favorite filmed performance of Edward IV (played by Brian Protheroe), and my favorite filmed performance of Warwick (played by Mark Wing-Davey). 

Also if you ever get to see Rosa Joshi’s production of an all female H6 cycle... *like every time I see photos my immediate reaction is *heart eyes* I haven’t seen it yet, but my amazing friend and fellow Shakespearean @princess-of-france has - I’m sure she’d love to talk more about it sometime! I’ll leave a picture I found on the internet... 

Also tagging @suits-of-woe because we could cry about these plays all day.