#dont fucking start shit please?
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do you deserve to be loved?
#*smashes thru the wall like the kool aid man* im fucking back#we're so back. it's joever. i'm screeching into the sun i'm ILL i fucking sobbed last night i cried during work#i sat and drew during my lunch i finished the lore drop at 7am and didnt sleep and drew until work started at 9#i. um. i dont even know where to start for making shit. i feel adrift i feel lost in the sauce of misery#the way he screamed at his baby self that he didnt deserve to cry. that he didnt deserve to be loved. im fucking ILL#ive talked before abt his bad relationship w his own mortality but ngl i REALLY underestimated how deep this ran...esp w the new dad knowle#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#ch7 spoilers#book 7 spoilers#he got a new rigged expression!!! all the new animations!!!!!! as a rig animator by trade i was v impressed and pleased#silver nation. fuck every other book like im sorry this one wins u cant deny it#suntails
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if the puritan assholes trying to control you started having tons of sex, it would not necessarily make them stop trying to control you. I know you think its fun and cathartic to joke about, but like, youre just reviving a stupid ridiculous stigma, that shouldnt be revived, at the expense of a different marginalized group, instead of making any sort of actual point. plenty of the people calling ppl pedophiles for being kinky at pride, and trying to pass laws to have people arrested for being visibly queer in public, have had sex. are not "virgins". the problem is not that they havent had sex, its that theyre close minded fascist assholes trying to genocide queer ppl, and they dont actually give a shit if youre having sex or not. they see any deviation from the white abled perisex cis hetero patriarchal christian norm as being fundamentally disgusting. they shame you for not being virgins, but i promise, dont worry, they shame us too, for not becoming fucking tradwives for them. they wouldnt suddenly be fine with your lesbian relationship if it was ~pure and chaste~ with no sex or kissing. they see the entirety of queerness as disgusting, and any rejection of their norm where men and women are 2 strictly distinct categories with no overlap that grow up and get married and have joyless awful sex for the sole purpose of creating more perfect little white christian babies, anything that isnt that, they hate it. they hate lesbians for being queer, they hate bisexuals for being queer, theyre REALLY focused rn on how fucking much they despise any kind of trans person, for being queer, they hate aces for being queer.
For a long time, aces had the mixed bag of invisibility, where, we didnt get a lot of super vitriolic hate bc no one fucking knew what we were, but often when ppl found out ? they sure did fucking hate us and want us oppressed. but bc we were so invisible, stupid fucking online discourses decided that meant that they love us, for some reason? bc they internalized way too much of what their oppressors told them. i promise, the people who treated you like shit wouldn't have actually treated you better for being ace, and even if they did? it would be conditional at best, bc anyone doing that clearly has a very narrow view of what sort of deviations from their percieved norm are okay. and as soon as you stray from that, it would be no longer okay w them that you were ace. and now, it seems like our level of visibility is starting to shift, fuckers on right wing "news" stations are talking about us, and i cant stress this enough,
theyre saying the same fucking bullshit all you stupid fucking exclusie ass discoursers said about us. they sound exactly like you. you sound the same. word for word i have already seen each and every god damn thing these right wing fashy news grifters are saying, right here on tumblr dot fucking com, first.
anyway
I am so fucking tired. please come up with a better joke than to call people virgins as an insult. you can do better than that. There is nothing wrong being a virgin, and there is nothing wrong with not being a virgin. its fine. both are fine. stop bringing back stigma that makes you sound like a caricature of a fucking high school bully. chill out about other people's sex lives (including!!!! other ppls lack thereof)
listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#reblog#now im REALLY going to regret it!#aphobia#queerphobia#reiterating in the tags: if you say dumb shit on this post im blocking you and all the mutuals and followers of yours i can find#dumb shit defined to include (but not exclusive to:) bad faith arguments. arguing with shit i didnt say. derailing the post. dismissing the#the problem as a nonissue. talking over me. being aphobic. being any sort of queerphobic. whining bc you reeeeeally love to call ppl virgins#as an insult tho its just so fun. saying op its just a joke we're just joking calm down. saying anybody in this thread smoke weed.#dismissing or downplaying the level of aphobia on this fucking website. bitch i wasnt even in the fucking trenches on that one and i sawshit#please do not tag this post q slur. dont start shit about me calling ppl queer im talking about queer ppl this is a queer post im queer#if youre not queer then okay. cool. good for u. you can make your own post ig. im not interested in discussing that with you#is this enough. are you getting the idea. of the kinds of things i do not want to see in response to this post? by what i mean when i say#dont fucking start shit please?#if im late for my fish volunteer thing cos of this btw. every aphobe owes me $100#they arleady owe me $50 each for the aphobia but im raising it if this makes me late
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also, the electoral college needs to be dismantled. that shit is the reason why gerrymandering works and swing states exist. we need to use the fucking popular vote to determine what the american people actually want. all this points system bullshit does is waste votes and silence voters.
#please do not start shit with me btw i Do Not Fucking Care#no devil's advocate and not even if you also vote blue#if you disagree then move on i dont fucking care#buzzing#politics#america#2024#electoral college#2024 presidential election#presidential election
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i cannot stop thinking about ian rider. more specifically, how alex had so many unprocessed feelings about him after his death. imagine being an orphan, getting adopted by your uncle as a baby, having him raise you for 14 years then discovering he lied to you your entire life. that he [unintentionally or not] trained you to be something you never wanted to be under the guise of bonding with you. never being able to ask him what his actual intentions were because he's dead. never getting closure for it. im going to throw up.
#i remember reading stormbreaker for the first time and i could not stop crying the entire book#i have big emotions dont blame me#but seeing alex follow in ian's footsteps quite literally seeing and living through what lead to his death#it fucked me up#i dont remember if it was outright stated in the books but alex wondering the entire time if ian even loved him?#it wasn't framed directly but thats how i interpreted it#i cant even coherently put into words all my thoughts about this#ontop of everything else this is one of the core things that makes me so emotional over this silly little book series like holy shit#alex my son i just want to give you a hug#alex rider#alex rider books#ian rider#please don't get me started about my thoughts of whether or not ian did in fact love him#my head might explode#these books fucked up my brain chemistry permanently
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Just. finished fallout. normal.
#what the fuck#what the fuvck what the fuck what the fuck#im so normal about this guys very so normal#(shaking and gripping the edge of the sink hunched over like im playing silent hill)#so normal so normal#what do i even do with my life now#how am i just supposed to go about my day#FUCK that last scene fucking insane though#oh my god the ghoul is so cool#like holy SHIT#the relization that the ghoul could of killed maximus in that first meeting but just like. chose not to? insane.#fallout is ruining my life i have to play every game now#fallout#i need a season 2 NOW#8 hours is not enough#i need to see Lucy kill her father#its like 5am where i am#im going to impulsively dye my fuckass mullet about this#fallout show#fallout series#just fishdeath-ing#fallout tv series#if anyone wants to talk abt fallout with me i dont know how to start a conversation but im clawing at my walls & willing to try please plea
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"Madam Yu would be a Karen/ treat minimum wage employees like shit-" literally the only servant she's shown abusing is Wei Wuxian (and that's because he's the victim of a proxy war between her and Jiang Fengmian around the idea of him being adopted into the family, not because of his class). Madam Yu's two handmaid's love and respect her, and Madam Yu actually defends them when Wang Lingjiao tries being a Karen to them. She also tells Wang Lingjiao to fuck off when she demands the Jiang servants bring her tea.
Also, Karens are unpleasant women, but not all unpleasant women are Karens. That term is about entitlement and being unreasonable (and often times, racist). Madam Yu is mean and unpleasant to talk to, but she keeps most of her interactions brief and probably doesn't have the time or mental energy to be a Karen or hold a grudge that long. If you want an actual example of a Karen in mdzs, Wang Lingjiao is right there
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#grand master of demonic cultivation#for those confused on who I'm arguing against- this is about comments left on the “who'd be more insufferable online” tournament#I'll stop writing Madam Yu defense posts when y'all start actually looking at how she's described in the books#you guys just parrot and amplify the same “woman mean” narrative about her and its frustrating#I'm convinced most of you dont even read what she says or know she has motivations#and because i get at least one person going “so you're excusing child abuse” every time I talk about her-#No. I am not defending or excusing any of the bs she's actually done in canon#child abuse bad. theres just a lot of misinformation out there on what that abuse actually entailed#1 or 2 lashes that do not break the skin + shit talking and kneeling is a different punishment from whipping someone till they can't move#the former was her usual interaction with wwx. the later was an act to get the wens to fuck off#also can you guys please acknowledge the fact she was incredibly angry and on edge in canon because a war was about to start#and her kids and clan (but especially her kids) were being put in active danger#and that her ranting sessions happened around her family and she was venting#and that she's shown being cordial to unrelated people#she's a well respected figure. that wouldn't happen if she was a karen#and if we're looking at a modern au where there isnt a war happening she probably wouldnt be as on edge
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really fucking grinds my gears how my dad knows just how to make me feel fucking guilty for putting up boundaries and saying no
#not even for a major thing!#barely setting a boundary even! just saying i don’t want to do smth!#asking me if i want to go for dinner one evening when he knows i work late most days and have said this for years - in fact said this exact#thing to him last week - so when i say no bc i finish late he just pushes and pushes#until im like this doesn’t work for me AND i hate eating out i dont want to go. just go with my brother that’s fine. and he’s suddenly#blunt as fuck in his messages leaving me on read or guilting me about the hours i work….. like get a fucking grip your over 50 bro#i try to be polite with it but he just gets in a fucking mood like please you are a Loser#i see you weekly (smth HE chose when i was a bairn) like im not making my job and life harder just bc you feel bad that you don’t see me#more often now#also i only hate eating out with him!! because it’s awkward!! i like to be in and out when i eat with friends and we’re all the same about#it bc we’re all very autistic lmaooo but with him he likes to chat and chat and chat which is fine but i don’t.. and he asks more personal#questions than when we’re just at his as if im gonna open up just bc we’re eating thai food 🙄🙄🙄🙄#like you Don’t get to know if im seeing anyone or if im queer or even if ive got fucking plans to go away with friends tbh#like deadbeat dads that try to emotionally manipulate their kids get minimal information actually !! 🤓☝️#stelle yaps#fuck sake#i knew he’d start doing this when my brother was back - he’s always played us off each other and he always gravitates towards whichever is#the ‘easiest’ child at the time which is my brother ever since i became an adult lmao#i just don’t tolerate his shit and i let him know it whereas e will play along#me and my dad are too similar in that we both know how to really cut deep in the other :/#it just all sucks#please please feel free to ignore#i just need to vent like hell bc he winds me up a treat so bad
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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Writing Patterns Tag Game
Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there’s a pattern!
Tagged by: no one! I just wanted to! :D
1. Heart Stopper: The supermarket is never as empty as you would like.
2. Never Eat Anything That Could Compromise My Health (And Baby That Means You): When the portal ignites with Danny still inside, he feels like his every nerve turns to ash.
3. Skimming The Surface: "You are being incredibly difficult about this," Dipper deadpans, slamming his briefcase down on the table
4. The Tree, The Apple, The Seed: Algebra, Light mourns, is far below his mental grade level.
5. Ivy On A Chain Link Fence: "Darling, where are my—"
6. I Hold Hands With Cosmic Entities: Light—or as he is now known, Tsukikage—knows that he's different.
7. screamin' like a kettle on a stove (you cranked the heat up cold): Light stood in front of the shelves with a frown, a hood over his head and a sick mask over his face.
8. Get Your Gun, Fuck It Up: "You're sneaking out again?"
9. Supping On The Blood of God: Mikami has been staring at him.
10. Notre Dame: The building is small, but obviously new.
+Bonus 10 (draft edition bc I can't help myself)
RAPTURE: The world as Near tends to see it is blue.
Scorched: When everything is said and done, L Lawliet is one of the most powerful men in the world.
Nobody: The sky is gray.
Make Something of Me: Light swirls his spoon idly in his tea cup, watching the stalks inside bob and twirl listlessly.
Like A Loaded Gun (Ready to Backfire): The morning is bright and sunny.
I Love You So (I'll Eat You Whole): Beyond's life changes, as it always does, in a singular moment of eye contact.
Near Miss: Arataka lies in a hospital bed, and everything hurts.
What You Want: Arataka opens his eyes slowly, muggy.
This World is Cruel: The sky is gray with the smoke of a thousand fires.
Dig Up Bones In Your Sympathy: The last thing he remembered was light.
Conclusion: I tend towards shorter, simple sentences when beginning a story. Something to set the stage, either by telling the readers something about my main character's mind, or the world around them. First brushstroke, so to speak :3 Some are far more dramatic than others aha
Tagging: Anyone! Everyone! Free pass to say I tagged you! Because I am! Right now! :DDD
#tag game#writing patterns#also FUCK that Dont Start Stories With Dialogue shit i will do as i PLEASE#honestly its really only when i cant be bothered ro give further exposition#usually on oneshots#death note#danny phantom#bnha#boku no hero academia#mob psycho 100
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#??????????????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#i dont know what to doooooooooooo i dont know what to do w my life.....#i dont wanna go to college im way too stupid for that and also its insane like#im scared i dont like anything enough to make it worth it. not even biology#thats like 5 years idk and i fucking hate school.... i think id kill myself if i had to go back to somerhing remotely similar#idk thats scary.....#my plan b was getting a job and i rlly tried but im a pussy . i only started to go out and do stuff like last year. and im an adult !!#i feel like i fucked something up at some point in my life cuz like this is insane#im stuck in limbo. like theres something wrong and its not the autism#bites a cinderblock bites a cinderblock#man im so fucking scared everyday i feel like im going insane . i cant even imagine me doing anything#theres something wrong w me cuz thats like not normal . i dont wanna die in my bed but everything else scares me#fucked up if true#uh#vent#its funny af tagging my posts w vent but i tag them so u can block them or whatever#FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK IF ONLY REDBULL ACTUALLY DID SHIT TO ME . THEN ID BE FIXED#FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKK I JUST WANT AN ENERGY DRINK THAT WORKS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASE GOD#PLEASE PEKASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
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wait does this mean you’ll be able to explore the update when it drops now? because of the new date? or is the case still the same?
no ok this answer is sooooo Funny bc uh
well apparently due to a Christmas Miracle i don't start working this week, today was just orientation. so i Would have been able to actually make it.
but now? WHO KNOWS!!!! WHO FUCKING KNOWS!!! i dont have my schedule yet!!! i'll get it by wednesday!!! so!!! with my continuously Dogshit luck! the case is still very much the same!
#my glimmer of hope has been ripped from my grasp and thrown off the edge of a very active dam#im watching its sparkle dim as it falls and falls... into that watery abyss...#man. can one thing work out. can one Single Thing-#ANSWER: NO!!! IT NEVER HAS AND IT NEVER WILL!!!#but we stay silly!!! despite it all!#i finally let myself believe Holy Shit. I'm Gonna Make It To The Festivities#and then clown comes in with the steel fucking chair-#rambles from the bog#i cant wait for them to be like 'you start On friday <3'#i bow to no god but. man. praying that i dont start working until the monday after the 8th#pleaaassseeee it wouldnt make sense for me to start in the middle of the week pleasseeee#wait for a fresh cycle PLEAAASSSSEEEE#just this one thing. ill be such a good employee please just let me have this Dear Fucking God Please-#ill work so so hard just dont make me miss it im begging u.... o employment gods... spare me...
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Holy shit I love that this community is so supporting of chubby characters! The horrors of fat phobia I've seen in other fandoms is crazy especially the regretevator discord server the mods there are just scary..
EXACTLY!!!! like obviously theres still gonna be those people that get some violent rage and hatred over seeing someone draw a character fat but ive noticed theyre mostly.. a minority in the phandom? not even a VOCAL minority i just barely even see them and ngl its actually really refreshing
#not a confession#mod sword#also do not get me started on regretevator i genuinely hate that game/fanbase#from the razzytism situation (banning a fat transfem for drawing fat characters for *checks notes* art she unknowingly reblogged on TUMBLR)#to generally being very.. annoying to the whole mspec lesbian debate (i will go on record and say i dont really give a shit i have a job#and medical appointments and a license to get caring abt identities is a very low thing on my list of priorities) INCLUDING LIKE.#IVE SEEN SCREENSHOTS MOCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE CHILL WITH *HE/HIM* LESBIANS! THE PRONOUNS!!!! WHO FUCKING CARES#DID WE REGRESS 20 YEARS DO PRONOUNS NOW MEAN GENDER AGAIN!!!!!!! FUCK!!!! rlly do not like regretevator or its fans im#just there for bive#WOW sorry for the rant i have very strong feelings over a roblox game pretty please dont block this account i super promise i wont bring up#regretevator again just to be a hater i prommyyyyyy you can trust me#(i really dont care if other people enjoy it live and let live im just personally not a fan yk)
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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can i just say im absolutely fucking terrified for the election its not even funny
#at first it was like haha we're fucked#but now its like#holy shit we're fucked#actually concerned for some people's mental stability#i still need to watch the vp debate but oml#i just dont understand#how some people can be so absolutely stupid and selfish and racist assholes#yet SOMEHOW have people supporting them#yall know who im talking about#i fucking cant#and im under 18 so i cant even vote#we're fucked we're so absolutely completely fucked and i cant do anything about it#but seriously its worrying#how do you have less common sense than a teenage girl who barely knows anything about politics#like dudes please grow the fuck up#you should have to take a test to be able to run for president#or vp omfg dont get me fucking started on jd vance#whatever its fine#i mean its not but what am i gonna do about it#ugh sorry i was looking at politics stuff idk why i did that#ruins my day actually#ugh
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Hey so... important thingy real quick pertaining to sharing f/os.
I get it- sharing f/os can be hard for some folks. Whether you get self conscious, jealous, nervous abt it, etc etc. I totally understand- I can open up here and admit that I get really self conscious and a little nervous when I see people who ship with the f/os I am uncomfortable sharing or have selective sharing with. However, that's a normal thing to feel, and you shouldn't feel bad about it at all! It's okay to be sad, or anxious, or jealous, or anything else along those lines. That's why we block and move on, and try not to let those negative feelings hurt us too heavily.
That being said, when it becomes NOT okay, is when you're posting on any of your blogs about wanting people who ship with your f/os dead. Or posting about wanting to cause bodily harm to other self-shippers. Oooor posting about said f/o harming other shippers. Or anything under that umbrella.
Seriously. I feel like it's already pretty obvious that you should never do that in the first place, but those who don't care and want to actively participate in said behavior should just stay in their own damn circle- away from the people who aren't harming anyone; who are just shipping and minding their own business.
We absolutely do not need those kinds of people running around and literally wishing death on folks, whether they think they're being sneaky about it or not. Nobody deserves to die for the 'crime' of loving the same character as someone else.
#cell mumbles#cw violence mention#cw death mention#//i shouldnt be surprised anymore and yet every time i see shit like this my disappointment is immeasurable lmao#//its even more disappointing when I see those rotten apples in my followers list lol#//like damn bro how tf did I not see that. people r wild 💀#//can we just like..... not do that? pretty please? no killing other self shippers over sharing? please?#//oh btw if anyone sends any weird ass asks pertaining to this ur just getting blocked. no ifs ands or buts ur just. blocked. yeah.#//btw not publicly namedropping.#//edit just thought about it and fuck it you can reblog this to your hearts content so long as u dont publicly namedrop#//(2) and start harassing ppl or smth. go ahead reblog this idc loool
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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