#dont be disappointed in me if I fail you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nerys-nerie · 2 years ago

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I really wish to write something but I have no idea where to start or what to write.

#writing #I’m friggin nervous #don’t eat me #I’m a nervous person #hotd #Aemond #natasha romanoff #james bucky buchanan barnes #prince jacaerys #alicent hightower #trublood #I can write spicy things on the occasion #dont be disappointed in me if I fail you

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dykedvonte · 1 day ago

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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?

What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.

#this is my curly slander post ig #disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception #but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things #to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im #having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point #with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men #mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #shitpost #suggestive #ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig #but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its #crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see #body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments #like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save #the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to #the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself #to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya #and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing #their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of #his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve #Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain #between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over #just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up #to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise #verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct #and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to #tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho #i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would #disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone

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wizardsix · 21 days ago

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about 30 hours into veilguard and while I have an essay worth of my problems w the game and how this is absolutely not ten year's worth of developing I do want to say what I do like. the maps (visuals/progression/exploration), combat, and the companions (only five of them. neve and taash annoy me and I would absolutely not recruit them if this game didn't force you to)... overall it's all right on its own but it's no dragon age game.

#i dont want to pass final judgement until i finish the main story but #trying so hard to not talk about everything i hate about this game #my main thing is how your choices do not matter. the three dialogue choices are essentially the same thing #absolutely no roleplay and no replay value aside from what. making a new character to look at and who to romance #which is fine i suppose but they should have said that this game is more linear instead of lying #dragon age 2 had more choices and that game was shit out in less than a year . embarrassing lol #i haven't really played origins properly so when i say this i mean the main four companions #but in every dragon age game ive liked all the companions. there were only very very few i didn't care for #but neve and taash bore me to death and i hate that you have to be nice to them especially when theyre being unfair #also i don't mean to be obnoxious when i say its no dragon age game . i genuinely felt like i was playing a ubisoft game #the dragon age identity has been stripped since the original writers were cut off thats just a fact #can i even say im disappointed when i never even had expectations to begin w #in the end the cons outweigh the pros and this game failed miserably to be a dragon age successor or whatever. its a complete sanitization #this franchise has always been a mess #dragon age veilguard #datv spoilers #bioware critical #six speaks

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swirlingvortex · 4 months ago

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It would kill me if I tried and failed so I'm just not gonna try.

#I can't deal with failure #overachiever #burnt out #text #txt post #I have an exam in a few hours I haven't touched a book for because well #I dont know crap and its too late and I'm def gonna fail miserably #I'm so disappointed in myself and i know a younger version of me would be too cause passing this exam would mean a lot to her but like #Ive been depressed for what seems like forever and I feel like shit all the time and I have asked and asked and begged for help but have #since given up so im really just surviving so fuck her #give me a break #you should be glad im not dead #yet #but also i feel like a failure #rightfully so #i really am #so yeah #rant #are you satisfied?#mirrorball #rory gilmore #nothing new #burn out #academic validation #will be the death of me #and has been #i wish i were dead #but my cat would be sad so no?

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shanti-ashant-hai · 5 months ago

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#i love my mother #but god sometimes i wonder if she loves me back #i do something good and im the light of her life #i do something mediocre and she expects better of me #its those words. those fucking words that have haunted me my whole life #“i expected more from you”#am i not enough? am i not fucking enough for you just the way i am?#if i didnt do the things ive done would you still love me?#or would you wish for a daughter who'd accomplish things you never did. a daughter who dreamed of things better than you did.#a daughter who was you. but better.#mumma i love you so much. so so much. i cant imagine a world without you #but why must you be like this #why do you want me to be the best?#im so afraid of disappointing you. its terrifying. gut wrenching. the very thought makes me sick #and yet. and yet. here we are.#“you're better than this”#BUT WHY MUST I BE #WHY CANT I BE ME #IS THE THOUGHT OF ME BEING MYSELF SO LOATHSOME TO YOU THAT YOU SHOW HURT EVERYTIME I DONT DO SOMETHING UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS #AM I REALLY THAT FUCKING UNLOVABLE #THAT I HAVE TO BE THE GREATEST AT EVERYTHING JUST FOR A SLIVER OF YOUR ATTENTION AND ADORATION #WHY MUST I BE AN EXTENSION OF YOUR WANTS AND DESIRES #WHY MUST I FULFILL THE PROPHECIES YOU'VE FAILED #WHY CANT I DO SOMETHING FOR MYSELF. FOR ME. THE WAY I WANT IT TO BE #GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ITS TEARING ME APART BUT PLEASE.#PLEASE.#LOVE ME. LOVE ME THE WAY I AM AND NOT THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO BE.#shanti ki ashanti suno

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tokyoteddywolf · 8 months ago

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22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.

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heatwa-ves · 10 months ago

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getting embarrassed I need to stop being weird and go get ready for bed. gonna speedrun studying in the morning ill have four hours where the library is open before my exam and then ill have work and then ill have to study for my other exam fuuuuuck

#beloved usamerican mutuals can you explain to me how your supreme court works because i was NOT paying attention for that topic #i dont know anything im gonna fail omg im so scareddd #fuck #ik i can definitely pass tomorrows exam but wednesdays theres no chance #and my teacher is the sort of person where disappointing him feels like shooting myself repeatedly in the head #fuck this #i hate academics i need to drop out like. yesterday #anyway. whatever im gonna go get ready read fic and then sleep

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thatlovelydove · 1 year ago

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I dont understand how the internet can both make me feel validated about my fandom and then two posts later i feel like im the most horrble person in the world for it AT THE SAME TIME LIKE GOOD GOD

#yes this is about harry potter #i feel like i failed someone #or something #because i feel like i failed myself for almost 3 years now #does this count as a vent?#i'll tag it just to be safe #dove rambles #vent #im sorry to everyone #dont worry my 8 year old self is as disappointed in me as you are :>

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midniallsnack · 1 year ago

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*wakes up in the morning to wipe my tears* so we're just going to keep living like this???

#personal #i lied im not making a post about disappointment #bc america has already disappointed me over and over again #and it's tiring #disappointment really depends on the situation #and i think if ur disappointing ur parents by like choosing a career that you know will be worthwhile then do it #if you fail then you fail. (good) parents want you to succeed #it's up to you to choose what you believe is the right thing to do #i think america is just ignoring all the warning signs and going straight into destruction #i dont know why. it's so hard hearing about people 'surviving' rather than living #im here waiting for a full time job/career and i have been working towards this for five years now?#kept doing minimum wage jobs #its not enough #i can't even afford to live on my own in an apartment.#that was my dream. to have my own place and to have my own cat #and i cant even do that #at least not right now #but even working towards that.... come on #that's the bare minimum

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lunarsapphism · 1 year ago

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my knowledge driving test is today and im so nervous :(

#i dont feel like im gonna pass #which is stupid because i can drive and i do it very safely #but like. its just that theres so much shit they want you to memorize that most people dont actually know/remember #and im just so nervous #ive done sooooo many practice tests and ive watched a billion videos #i read half the manual cause i couldnt get through all of it before bed last night #and im worried that because i didnt read through the whole thing im going to fail #my average for practice tests though is like a 90-95%#so like?? i should be fine??#ive known almost every answer to every question thats been thrown my way #and you can literally miss 8 questions and still pass #but god. i am so fucking scared right now #i think i would be less nervous and it would feel less high stakes if i wasnt getting my license so i could drive #me and my partner to a concert three hours away from where i live in like two weeks #so my parents dont have to drive us #i dont think i would care about potentially failing as much regularly because the time frame wouldnt really matter #but it is time sensitive so im afraid #im also worried that my partner is gonna be disappointed in me if i fail and cant get my license in time #but thats a whole other thing #aiilov-personal

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mojimallow · 1 year ago

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i failed at something and did not freak out please clap

#moji muses #w the death of my tolerance for the bird app comes me speaking more here. apologies #anyway the wild thing about a fear of failure- and overcoming that fear- is that failing at things is. something you celebrate #screwed up a recipe and disappointed somebody and im a) like well! we've learned for next time b) it's still pretty tasty and #c) i dont feel like the scum of the earth. Party Time!#AND its the person i Fear Disappointing Most. this is a massive W for emojis everywhere

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intoxicatinginsanity · 2 years ago

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It’s nights like these, where the thought of the view from halfway down is no longer a deterrent that works on my brain. I see the welcoming comfort of the forever sleep and I don’t immediately go, ‘no that just won’t do’. I dwell. I dip my feet in the dark waters, feeling the tug of the current on my skin; wondering how quick it would be.How inevitably painless it would be; if I just allowed myself to get pulled in by the undertow.

It would be scary, sure. But then, it would be done. And so would all the things that never seem to stop going wrong in my life. My inability to hold down work. My lack of prospects as a woman in my late twenties. The fact that my degree is ultimately useless. That I’ve worked nothing but menial jobs my whole life so I don’t qualify for anything of “ high pay value”. That I had to take a three year work gap because my partner caught cancer, and then a pandemic hit, and then after that pandemic they got an auto immune disease. That same condition we can’t even get formally diagnosed because our countries medical system is completely shit and the insurance available for the low income essentially hopes that we just die.

There’s also the ever growing realization that there is no one I can really turn to for help; especially not my family. That I’m at the edge of poverty, and that point in time is quickly approaching. That it’s either take a trash job that will work me until I’m more than the hollowed shell I already am, and put me at risk for contracting health issues from covid. That I also have to put my partner at risk of hospitalization, further immune issues and possible death, for said trash job. And then there is my usefulness, or rather uselessness as someone with utterly terrible executive function. My ADHD makes the most simple things, painstaking hard. My autism, makes it even harder. And the responsibilities keep piling up, and I am terrible at juggling. Everything is so overwhelming all the time. And frankly I just feel like imploding most days and when I look at myself in the mirror all I ever see is a burden and a failure. And I know everyone around me sees it too. And while yes, I know it will “get better”. Better isn’t here. Better seems so so far away. And I’m so so tired. And the weight I carry everyday is unbearably heavy. And on nights like this, I don’t feel like I can keep carrying it all.

But I’ll try anyways…because that’s what I have to do. I have to keep moving, performing, contributing, etc. Until I no longer can and then I’ll just be another fucking statistic that got caught in the cog of the capitalist machine. Trying to keep float when everything that is vital to living and having a stable life is only achievable through monetary means is fucking torture on the mind and body. And I’m so tired.