#don't sweep their trauma under the rug

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I think we should normalize active parenting. Like we have plenty of examples of neglectful parents, we should get some of active parents. Also, to all the parents already doing the stuff below, great work.

I don't have kids, but I was a kid, and I think these are things parents should know.

If your child comes to you with a concern, no matter how insignificant or stupid you personally find it, take them seriously. It is important to them, even if it isn't important to you. Also, they wouldn't bring it up to you unless they thought it was important. Taking your children's "smaller" concerns seriously will make it far more likely they will come to you with the biger ones. Also, if it's a problem you can't solve, there is no shame in getting outside help, even if it means "exposing" the fact things aren't perfect. You cannot solve every single one of your child's problems alone. And you should help them solve problems, so you aren't solving everything for them. They do need to learn how to solve things on their own, like fights with siblings, or schoolwork. WITHIN REASON. If your child brings up to you that one of their siblings is depressed, or is struggling with something else like that (I.e. an eating disorder or self harm, or other mental illnesses), or otherwise heavy concerns, IT SHOULD NOT BE THE CHILDS RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX IT AND HELP THE SIBLING. YOU ARE THE ADULT. NOT THEM.

No child should EVER have to be the one dealing with these things because you don't think they're important, and you want to ignore them. Just because it's common that most siblings have to be a third parent doesn't mean it should be. Sweeping it under the rug is easy, but you SHOULD NOT make your child deal with it because they knew you didn't care.

Children and teens will match your energy. If you don't care about what they say the chances of them talking to you, and/listening to you decrease dramaticlly.

Also. The same goes for when they're excited about something. Positive reinforcment will make them far more likely to succeed becasue they know you'll care. They figured out how to tie their shoes? AMAZING. They drew a really really crappy stickfigure drawing of a person petting a cat? Tell them what you like about it, (colors, bold lines, etc) and maybe sandwich in a suggestion for how they could make it better.

Further, If your child is upset about something, don't belittle them because you don't think they should be upset about it. at that point you're past they shouldn't be upset about it, they ARE upset about it. Also, this moment, right now, for them is the hardest they have ever lived. Just because they're not an adult and they're not struggling with the same things as you, doesn't make their struggles any less valid. It might not seem like it because you know that not getting an A in math is not the same level as not being able to pay rent, but it's on that level for them. Just because it's "kid" struggles, doesn't mean it's not a struggle. They deserve to have their feelings validated just as much as you do, even though it's not an adult problem. Stuff is really really really hard as a kid because you don't have the skills to cope with things and you're experiencing a lot of things for the first time in high dosages, and it's hard.

Do with this what you will, but I wish my parents had done ANY of this when I was growing up.

[kittyfrisk9]

IdeaDpxDc: A nice moment with a sleep demon.

Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.

Dead On Main.

---

Danny accidentally absorbed some of Nocturn's powers (like in the Vortex episode), and now, with these new temporary abilities, why not take advantage of them? Like a kid with a new toy, Danny (or should I say Phantom: with a new design) has fun every night going from dream to dream.

The dream world is so strange! Without the constant threat of a dream entity trying to take over the world and all that. Now he has fun exploring the most unusual parts of his classmates' subconscious, or anyone's in general.

Even though he knows he shouldn't be doing this (after all, he's a responsible adult now), spying on other people's dreams isn't exactly something a mature person would do.

On the other hand, Danny is the responsible adult; Phantom is the one who uses his new powers recklessly. Plus, no one in Gotham knows who Phantom is, and at the end of the day, he's not hurting anyone. Point in his favor!

It was all fun and games… until he felt it: the unpleasant taste of a nightmare, distressing and desperate. Phantom knows he has to intervene, because, unlike Nocturn, he does not delight in the suffering of others.

So he goes. And what he sees shocks him.

Resonant laughter of a psychopath, the constant pain of flesh being beaten, and the devastating reminder that no one came to help. Phantom doesn't just see it, he feels it. Gross. What is this? Why would anyone be hurting a child? Then he understands: this is not just a nightmare, it's a memory, and someone is suffering from reliving it.

He absolutely will not allow this nightmare to continue.

...

Jason hasn't been having good days lately, mostly because instead of going to therapy, he's chosen to sweep his trauma under the rug and aggressively throw himself into crime-fighting. He's not good at dealing with his emotions, especially when he's been tormented by the same damn nightmare over and over again.

He knows the script by heart, he knows how it will end, but he still feels the same fear as the first time.

His head hurts.

"No, not again," he thinks in terror. Once again, he's tied up, unable to move or call for help. It's colder than he remembers. The walls have a grotesque tint, with laughter written in every corner. But the worst thing is the silence… until the sound of clashing metal begins to resonate.

Everything is a thousand times worse. He's sure the original scenario wasn't like this, but his terrified mind refuses to accept it.

The metallic sound resonates louder, each crash rumbling in Jason's chest. His breathing quickens, and then he hears it: that laugh.

A deep, distorted echo of laughter that seems to come from every direction. The laughter snakes around the grotesque walls, filled with the same letters that repeat his agony. “Ha… ha… ha…” fills the air, louder with each invisible step that approaches.

Then, he appears.

It’s not the Joker he remembers from that fateful night. This one is worse. Bigger, more deformed, with a smile that seems to tear at his own face. The colors of his suit are darker, more twisted. It’s as if his mind has amplified him, made him more monstrous.

“My, my, how little Robin has grown? But… something remains the same, doesn’t it? No matter how many times you live it, it always ends the same way. And to think that you were my greatest work of art!”

His voice is mocking, but behind the mockery is pure cruelty, a wicked amusement that lights up in those crazy eyes.

The Joker leans towards Jason, his face invading the small distance between them. The sound of metal continues to echo, and Jason knows what's coming next.

"Oh, I almost forgot…" he says, pulling out of nowhere an iron crowbar that gleams in the dim light of the nightmare. "It wouldn't be a good memory without this, would it?"

That's when the pain begins. Jason doesn't want to scream, and he won't. Even though that abominable creature is just a representation of his killer, he won't give him the luxury of listening to him suffer. The blows continue, and Jason bites his tongue. It's just a nightmare, it's not real… it's not real.

It's not real.

It's not real.

It's not-

"Hey… Are you okay?" he hears him ask. His shocked gaze turns to where the clown should be and discovers that he's gone. In his place, there's a handsome young man: short, slightly messy black hair, expressive purple eyes, and a body almost completely shrouded in dark shadows.

The mysterious man had a cosmic air about him, surrounded by a mix of special effects of stars and galaxies. Something magical.

And new.

Jason honestly doesn't know what he's seeing, or why he's seeing it. "What?" he says, unable to find another word to describe his situation.

The entity laughs at his stunned state, a reassuring echo very different from the joker's laughter. Then he snaps his fingers, and suddenly he's no longer in that ugly room. He's now in a field of flowers, beautiful and vibrant, looking out at a starry sky.

Okay, this is the part where he asks his brain how he went from being in a nightmare to being with a handsome guy under the stars, hands free and untethered.

"Relax, you're not crazy," the being says as he lies back in the grass. “You were in pain, and I didn’t like it, so I got you out of there. Don’t worry, that abomination won’t bother you again.”

Jason blinks twice, bewildered, not understanding anything. “You… saved me?”

“You could say yes.”

“Why?” He shakes his head. “No, wait, that’s not the question. Who…?” Looking back at the being, he decides to change his question: “What are you?”

He seems to have taken the being by surprise.

It clasps its hands together as it looks up at the sky, trying to act normal. Jason narrows his eyes. “You can call me Void.”

��Did you just make up that name?”

The being looks away, seemingly embarrassed at being found out. “Yeah…” And suddenly exclaims, “Ah, ancients! I'm not supposed to be doing this, much less with one of the bats."

That last sentence had given away more than it should have.

"Hey, how about we admire the night view and then pretend this never happened?" Void suggested with a hopeful smile, turning to Jason.

Maybe it was the soft scent of the flowers, the calm atmosphere, or just the tiredness after so many nights of endless nightmares, but Jason, without thinking too much about it, walked over, lay down next to Void on the grass, and said, "No."

He needed a break.

...

And that's how Jason befriended a dream demon. And how Danny pretended to be a dream demon until Nocturn's powers wore off. He couldn't let the bats find out his identity.

After that, they spent more time together, fell in love, there was drama and there was closure. In the middle of all that, Danny started having tea with Alfred in the dream world, and at other times, he had fun bothering the other bats in their dreams.

But that's another story.

---

Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.

Part 2

[brucewaynehater101]

There's various opinions on the hc that the Lazarus Pit caused Jason to be violent (usually the Pit is used as an excuse for Titan's Tower).

A valid rebuttal to this hc is that using the Lazarus Pit excuse detracts from the very real possibility that Jason is just fucking traumatized. He's been through horrific events (dying, Pit, and LoA, to name a few), and pigeonholing responses to trauma to socially acceptable behaviors is unrealistic and sets up unattainable standards. Some times people do fucked up things because they were hurt. It doesn't excuse their actions, but it shouldn't entirely blame them either. They are still responsible for making amends, and the people impacted don't have to forgive them.

Another valid rebuttal is that chalking Jason's actions as the Pit tends to sweep under the rug the consequences of his actions. It absolves Jason of all blame if magical goop soup was controlling his actions. If that's a dynamic someone wants to explore, mind control or coercion are some other ways to still have that element of lack of control while dealing with the fallout of their actions. Lots of angst and mixed up feelings there.

One more rebuttal is that a lot of the "bad and uncontrollable" effects of the Pit are just unhealthy coping mechanisms or the result of trauma. Dissociative fugue? Extreme anger issues? Mood swings? It'd be understandable if Jason struggled with any or all of these due to his life (and death) experiences.

On the other hand, Pit Side Effects is a cool story element to mess around with. I've seen Venom-like Pit, weird urges (such as needing to ensure someone isn't wearing the color orange), differing wants (Pit claims someone as to-be-protected when Jason wants nothing to do with them), eyes flashing colors like a mood ring, accelerated healing, super strength, blood is a different color, always knowing where the nearest Pit is, or the Pit giving its user abilities in exchange for blood. I'm sure there's other fun ways to experiment with this.

A compelling storyline would be Jason (or someone else) blaming his actions on the Pit and the discovery of them slowly realizing that his conduct was really just trauma responses and having an understandably shitty mental health.

I don't remember the fic, but there was a cool plot line where Tim, after making up with Jason, separated Hood and Jason in his mind. Jason was the big brother who protected and loved him. Hood was the monster that hurt him. The author handled this really well where they had Jason, after discovering Tim's thought process, sit the kid down to explain that Jason was in fact 100% responsible for his own actions. He apologized, and they talked about boundaries.

Anyways, feel free to have whatever HCs you want, but I encourage you to try not to detract the impact of trauma on people's motivations and operations.

[txttletale]

idk how to put this sorry if this comes off as rude/confrontational I'm not trying to be — when you say stories about forgiveness/reconciliation, do you mean more the type about forgiving & reconciling with family, or more generally (so like including - this isn't the best example but I can't think of any better rn - catra for example? where it's about being trapped in hurting people because of trauma and breaking out of that)? or is the thing you dislike more stories' framing of forgiveness as a moral imperative?

sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm just curious what you think bc you've raised some interesting points and would really like to see you elaborate on them

don't worry you don't come off as rude whatsoever! while i think my points apply broadly to how forgiveness is treated across media (rare actual example of cultural christianity) -- i obviously am not, like, against forgiveness or stories about forgiveness on principle. what i dislike about all the narratives about people forgiving their abusive parents is that:

like you said, it's always framed as a moral imperative. there is always an underlying assumption that forgiving the abuser is the 'right' and 'correct' thing to do, that not doing so would be wrong. this is tremendously insulting to survivors who have every right to not forgive their abusers!

in most of these narratives, the parent barely does shit to be forgiven. there's very often a narrative equivocation, in fact, between parent and child. like, sometimes the parent won't even be expected to apologize -- sometimes, even more grotesquely, both the parent and child apologize for their shared supposed 'wrongdoing'. this is also obviously insulting to survivors, who are not in any way responsible for their abuse or for having a poor relationship with their parents.

the reason why this in particular pisses me off so much is that it mirrors and in turn contributes to the cultural expectation on abuse victims in real life to maintain contact with their abusers, the constant casual pressure from everything from strangers to friends to acquaintances saying 'well, can't you just put it behind you?' or 'look, he's changed' or 'she's your mom' or 'you'll only have one chance to have a relationship with your siblings' or whatever the fuck. the sanctity of the family is a cardinal value across a lot of societies and this sanctity means a constant, neverending societal pressure to bow to sweeping abuse under the rug. i've seen many people i care about struggle deeply with feeling obligated to maintain relationships with family members who treat them like shit and make htem miserable every time they interact bc of exactly these sorts of sentiments being everpresent in their cultural environment. & these narratives always paint that sort of pressure as being well-founded and fair and ultimately for the better, which is absolutely repellent to me.

so, yeah. i am not against narratives where an abusive person actually confronts their actions and changes and repairs that relationship (that's another fucking thing, these narratives always put the onus and responsiblity on the character who was abused to forgive rather than on the abuser to earn forgiveness, just like in real life familial abuse victims are always fucking expected to be the ones to repair the relationship). i think such narratives can be powerful and compelling and explore questions of what the value of 'forgiveness' or 'redemption' even are, as well as dispel the mystique and exceptionalism often attributed to the 'abuser' as a holistic malevolent figure that can be cleanly separated from every other parent/grandparent/sibling/etc.

what i'm against is narratives where someone who is abused has their feelings delegitimized -- their rage is wrong, counterproductive, they need to let go and move on, they need to forgive their abusers and let them back int otheir lives because oh, they did something wrong too or oh, their abuser had a difficult life, or whatever the fuck. to which the answer should be a flat -- no. they don't. all the more power to people who choose to do that if that's what makes them happiest and safest but absolutely nobody has a moral obligation or need to forgive an abusive family member. obviously i am exaggerating slightly when i say every abusive parent subplot should end with the parent being killed with hammers, but i'm using the hammer murder as a synechdoche for a narrative treating an abuse victim's antipathy towards their abuser as something legitimate and justified and obviously reasonable rather than a flaw or something they need to move past.

[ilikekidsshows]

My hot take on 'Cat Blanc' is that it basically does the same thing as the New York Special and Paris Special: it takes a concept the fandom has seen coming since the show's inception and applies the most boring take imaginable to it. The writers of this show love to grab the elephant in the room (cool story concept) and then take it out back to shoot it.

Cat Blanc happens in an alternative timeline where only Marinette finds out about it and forgets about it outside of one (1) nightmare sequence more focused on other stuff. New York Special sweeps Adrien's trauma of killing someone under the rug and instead focuses on Marinette being upset about some unrelated property damage and her traumatized partner quitting. Paris Special Akumanette isn't even an actual Akuma, it's Marinette being given godlike powers of super awareness over the multiverse so that the writers can avoid any character growth opportunities by putting in a lame one-hit victory fight scene over and over again.

Every single fandom take on Cat Blanc is better with better consequences for the story, every single time a fan makes Adrien Cataclysm someone it's better than "but Marinette is more upsette" and every single fanmade Akumanette is better than Goddess of the Multiverse.

This show's writers have an impeccable knack for taking something that should be the coolest thing ever and making it flop. Even their precious Bug Noire, which they were aiming to be the coolest thing in the show so far, loses her debut fight. This show's writers don't know what "cool" means and 'Cat Blanc' was our first real warning sign of this. They originally wanted that concept to get a double episode for it, and yet it had no effect on anything.

[hannigramislife]

Jiang Cheng is such an icon.

No, 'cuz like– what is everybody else's reaction to fucked up shit happening in their lives?

Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji after their most important person dies? Hide the fuck away from society. Wei Wuxian? Also hide away from society but with a healthy dose of denial. Or, you know, dying. Jin Guangyao? Sweep everything under a rug and hide behind a smile until the rug becomes a mountain. Other characters? They simply Die. Quite tragically might I add *side eyes Yi city*

What does Jiang Cheng do instead? He puts his big boy pants on and rebuilds his sect while half-raising another sect's heir, and basically successfully giving the biggest fuck you to the cultivation world (and his dad let's be real). Does he move on? No. Does that stop him? Fuck no.

He's one of the most dramatic people there, and yet he has absolutely no time for anybody's bullshit. Jiang Cheng would tell Lan Xichen "boo fucking hoo, your dear murderer got what was coming to him, now stop moping and go lead your damn sect so I don't have to see Hanguang-jun's face in every meeting" and think he was helping.

Jiang Cheng's method of dealing with trauma is simply saying "it happened, i'm alive and got shit to do" and I feel that.

[grayskyzephyr]

I've come across a couple of very...interesting tweets regarding the fandom's favorite scapegoat and honestly it's nothing new really.

I've also recently got into a confrontation with a bee stan calling me homophobic and a pedo pro shipper (yaaaay I finally got called by weak strawman arguments!) because I called Yang "blonde Adam" and made the usual criticism of how Adam was turned into an incel to prop up bumbleby and to sweep the faunus racism under the rug. I won't bother showing screenshots of the argument I had with this person on Twitter even with their username blocked because they don't deserve the attention.

Anyway to get to the point, from this argument I had with this individual along with the tweets I saw wishing violence on "Adam stans" it got me really thinking about how bee stans and rwby stans as a whole respond to Adam. Again, this dead horse is nothing new and yes, I will take my turn to beat it.

I find it very curious when it comes to the topic of Adam, both bee stans and general rwby stans conveniently overlook his connection to the faunus racism plot and instead hyperfocus on him being the big bad abuser to Blake. When you try to argue about how Adam's role as a radical revolutionary was fumbled and how poorly racism was handled, they will dodge the statement and instead deflect with "yeah yeah the racism was handled poorly, BUT YOU'RE STILL DEFENDING AN ABUSIVE GROOMER!!!!! HE DESERVED TO DIE!!!!"

It seems as if they would rather not acknowledge the bigger elephant in the room with how Adam's character was handled because either 1). It makes them uncomfortable, so they pretend his reaction to his oppression from humans doesn't exist or they downplay it. Or 2). They're too blinded by their projection of their own trauma on Bland the Cat they refuse to see Adam in another facet and instead focus on the "abuser/groomer" part and just call you an abuse apologist. Like, they do know Adam didn't have to be written as a "groomer" right? Right?

[dorthyanndrarry]

Unknown -2-

Tags: Angst, Post war deatheater prejudice, light injuries, chronic illness, post war trauma

Suggested rating: Teen

<- Part 1 || Part 3 ->

-

Draco shook the melting snow from his hands and pulled up the collar on his robes, ducking his head down between his shoulders. He pushed his hands deep into his pockets relishing what was left of the weak heating charms drawing the numbness from his fingers.

He slipped into the crowd, doing his best not to get too close to anyone, cutting through the narrow alley leading to Carkitt Market. Before stepping out into the market, he pressed himself into the shadow of Gladrag's awning. He drew his wand, pulling his sleeve down to obscure it as much as possible before casting a basic healing episkey on his knees and hands. It closed the scrapes but left the dull ache of the tender, bruised flesh. The important thing was that it looked good as new.

He followed the episkey with a quick cleaning charm and a reparo on his torn slacks. He ran his hand over the fabric to make sure it took, finding the linen fully patched though it had gotten thinner. Soon there wouldn't be enough fabric left to stretch and they would begin to fray, or unravel entirely.

Draco shivered and quickly put his wand away before stepping back out onto the street. He followed the edge of the square around to the owl post office and stepped inside to use their public apparition zone.

He landed on the gravel drive in front of the manor.

"You're late," Narcissa said. She was standing in front of the doors waiting for him. Her face was drawn and pale despite the heavy cloak wrapped around her. "Is everything okay? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mother," Draco said, hurrying over to her.

"You said you'd be home twenty minutes ago," Narcissa said, a shaking hand reaching out to the railing and starting down the steps.

Draco cursed under his breath. He should have kept better track of time. He should have hurried.

Draco quickly picked out a lie that would be believable, "A queue at the potions supply held me up." He took the stairs two at a time, catching her other hand in his before she could take another step. Her skin was cold, shivers making her fingers tremble.

"It's too cold out here," Draco said, tugging Narcissa back up the steps, an arm around her shoulders to support her.

"Next time, use the house elves for the shopping, won't you? You must. It's not safe in Diagon Alley," Narcissa said.

"They do all the shopping other than my potion supplies," Draco said gently. He clenched his jaw to hide the wince of pain as he pulled the door open with his sprained wrist and ushered Narcissa inside.

The door thumped closed behind them, their steps echoing loudly on the cold marble floor. The rugs and tapestries were gone, destroyed during the war, or disposed of not long after. Only a few sconces still had working lighting charms in them, leaving the entry hall in a permanent dusk.

"Send the elves o-or owl order them, you don't have to go. You should stay safe. You need to be safe." Narcissa said, grasping Draco's hand so tightly the tendons showed through her thin skin.

Draco forced a thin smile. "Of course. I'll do that from now on," he lied, taking out his wand and casting a passable warming charm over his mother, rubbing her arms to speed the warmth into her bones. "You shouldn't wait outside, you'll catch sick again."

"You were so late," Narcissa said weakly, her shivers going stronger for a moment before slowly beginning to subside.

"The windows in the drawing room look out onto the drive," Draco suggested.

"I don't like the drawing room," Narcissa said sharply.

"Right, right," he said quickly. There were many rooms one or both them hadn't stepped foot into since the war ended and the Aurors finished their exhaustive sweep of the property. It was hard to keep track of them all.

"Draco, darling-"

"I won't leave again. I'll stay here," Draco reassured her. He would make sure he only went out when she was resting, then she wouldn't have to worry. He could tell their elves, the two they had left, to fetch him if she woke before he was done. He would go mad if he had to stay in this tomb for the rest of his life.

Narcissa nodded to herself, "good... good."

As her anxiety drained away, so did her strength and she slumped, leaning all of her weight against him.

He held her tighter, "Mother-!"

"I'm fine," Narcissa said faintly.

"You are not," Draco said, guiding her down the hall to the small side room near the kitchens that had been repurposed into a bedroom so she wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs. He shouldered the door open and helped his mother to her bed.

"I will be, I just need to rest, to get my strength back," Narcissa said, letting her cloak fall onto the ground and collapsing onto her bed.

Draco grabbed a heavy throw blanket from the end of the bed and tucked it around her.

"Wake me for dinner," Narcissa said, her eyelids drooping.

"If you feel up to it," Draco said.

"I will," Narcissa said with a weak smile, "Promise that you will. I hardly get to see you otherwise, you're always at your cauldron."

Draco sighed, "Very well. I shall see you for dinner."

Narcissa smiled as her eyes closed and she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Draco leaned over and pressed a brief kiss to the top of her head. He hoped this would not lead to relapse, she had only just recovered from the last illness that had left her bed-bound for weeks.

He collected the empty potion bottles from her nightstand and dropped them in a basket that one of their elves would bring to his brewing room once it was full. He pulled open the drawer took out a fresh bottle of each and lined them up on the edge where they would be easy to grab.

Draco took a quick inventory of the potions left in the drawer. She was nearly out of invigoration draught, so he would make more of that first. The healing potion and draught of peace were equally low but the healing potion was more important so that would come next, followed by the draught of peace, then dreamless sleep and girding potions.

He slid the drawer shut and stood up with a sigh. And he needed to find time somewhere to prepare a blood- replenishing potion. Draco hoped it might provide his mother more strength if administered in smaller doses. If it didn't, he'd try another potion and another, as many as it took. He couldn't lose her. She was all he had left in the world.

-

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[bibibbon]

Do you think bnha treats the male victims of abuse narritavely worse than the female victims? (sorry if this sounds like I'm pitting them against each other or invalidating the female abuse victims in the story)

I've been reading your metas on how Horikoshi mistreats Deku in the narrative by sweeping Bakugo's bullying under the rug and meta posts by other fans dissatisfied with the way Dabi and the Todofam abuse as a whole was handled and I started recalling discussions on twitter how Denji from Chainsaw Man is a male victim of abuse, whose abuse is taken seriously by the manga and the mangaka, but not by most fans.

No absolutely not. I think MHA treats both of it's male and female abuse victims horribly. I have never viewed it to be something about gender it's just that horikoshi doesn't know how to handle abuse victims character whether thd abuser be a character he likes or hates.

Now I guess I can kind of see where this idea is coming from because the series itself shows us more abused male victims than female ones so there's definitely something there but even the female victims like toga, Rei himura or Eri aren't treated any better.

I remember getting ask that literally made me have a morbid realisation and it stated that Dabi ended up just like how Rei was in the beginning of the series. Also Rei never actually gets to escape her abuser either. She is still stuck as enjis caretaker and that's honestly tragic.

Toga's abuse is actually given the attention it deserves so she is probably the only character whose done a bit of justice in that area.

Eri still ends up getting hurt and used whether she is with the heroes or overhaul. The girl literally mutilated herself to make herself useful for her quirk to be used and you get the jist of it. This isn't a good look at all especially if you look at her history.

Now there are a lot male victims who have been abused like izuku, Dabi, shoto, hawks etc. Now these characters have much more screentime than the female characters but never actually get that part of their character focus on or they don't even bring it up so this just ends up making their characters feel so one dimensional and makes them badly written.

I honestly recommend you read @sapphic-agent post on bakugo and izukus relationship or her other posts about bakugo in general which are great in my opinion.

When it comes to chainsaw man fujimoto consistently recognises the abuse that denji goes through and (even though I haven't read csm) makes it clear that this isn't normal. It's usually the male audience that end up brushing denjis abuse or trauma to the side for example I have seen multiple posts talking about how what himeno did to denji wasnt a big deal or how makima never groomed denji.

Denji's character somewhat reminds me of hector from castlevania and how some fans would say that Lenore and Camilla did nothing wrong or that they never exploited/abused him.

[wilcze-kudly]

No please I am so ready to have the Bolin-Suyin and Mako-Lin foil discussion, please you have no idea how ready I am for this. I am now craving this. I have literally been thinking about this for four years since I first watched the show

Ok. So. This is an idea I've touched on but I don't know how to fully put it into words?

Like to start off. Both pairs of siblings grew up in pretty tough environments.

But where Lin and Suyin's upbringing directly pitted them against each other in order to gain their mother's attention, Mako and Bolin's brought them closer, since they had to rely on each other.

However, their personal coping mechnisms parallel each other much more.

The similarities between Mako and Lin are pretty obvious. Emotionally constipated workacholic who puts their duty over anything. Also. Boatload of failed relationships.

Both also have a strong theme of protecting others about them.

Mako, of course, acted as Bolin's guardian through most of their childhoods. He lowkey parents the rest of the Krew. His job led him to act as a bodyguard to Wu.

Lin Beifong has been carrying Republic City on her back for DECADES. She acts as a protector to the city on multiple occasions. One of her most notable scenes in B1 is when she sacrifices herself so Tenzin and his family can escape.

Huge theme of self sacrifice here as well. Both Lin and Mako seem to be ready to jump on any opportunity to die heroically.

I think both these characters deal with their trauma by providing servitude and protection. Its the only way they can feel worth anything.

Lin originally did it to, most likely, please her mother (a misguided attempt in my opinion) but now its the only thing in her life that hasn't left her. While Mako... well, he's been a guardian for so long, it's most likely all he knows.

Servitude and protection feels like all they can offer the ones they love. All they're good for.

As for Bolin and Su. Well, I personally find the parallels even more fascinating.

Here we have the younger sibling who grew up alone, feeling unloved. In the shadow of their older sibling.

The child that now, when they have the opportunity, tries to build relationships as much as they can. Reaching out blindly, desperately for that connection they craved so ravenously in their younger years. Often, in their neediness, they latch onto someone who would use them or manipulate them to their own gain.

The themes Bolin and Suyin share are: performances, family and the lack of belonging.

The performance aspect is pretty self explanatory. Bolin is an actor and Suyin leads a dance troupe. But it runs deeper than that. Both characters try to project only the best parts of themselves into the world. The most plausible reason for this is them wanting to be seen as likeable and attract more friends.

Suyin presents her perfect family and her beautiful city first and foremost. She sweeps imperfections under the rug. After Baatar Jr and Kuvira, she hastily does her best to stitch her torn family back into its untarnished perfection.

Bolin's 'performance' feels less intentional. He just wants people to like him and more or less knows what makes said people like him.

Varrick: Look how these people love you, kid! They're eating that cornball spiel right out of your hand.

Bolin: The trick is, whenever I get confused, I just say "Republic City" or "fans", and then everyone cheers.

I've touched on the theme of family just now with Su, but to elaborate on it, both Bolin and Suyin value family very highly. Pribably because neither of them had much of one growing up. Sure Suyin had Lin and Toph, but neither of those two seem like the super 'family affection' types.

The second Bolin learnt he was going to Ba Sing Se, he immediately set his heart on finding his father's family. He also seems to have a tendency to insert himself into other people's families. Trying to make up for all that he lost.

While Suyin simply gave up on fixing her messed up family and built a new one from scratch. Five lovely kids. Adopt another, call your advisor family. She's gathering 'family' left and right to compensate for what she didn't have growing up.

The lack of belonging thing is something I only recently noticed, but it's interesting. Suyin had a turbulent young adulthood. She lived on a pirate ship, in a circus and a sandbender commune. Similarly, Bolin seems to switch his job and calling every single season/comic. Athlete, movie star, soldier, cop, secretary... the boy can't find stability to save his life.

Bolin also expresses a lot of distress due to this fact. He sees that the rest of the crew have found their callings, while he remains stagnant or lost.

It makes me wonder if Bolin will have to, like Suyin, carve out his place in the world in order to feel like he has a place.

Anyway.. that's all i have for now. I may add more thoughts onto this but it is late. Thanks for the ask love! You're a peach!

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

I'm kinda curious about your view on vil and your thoughts on the trauma he possibly or could have inflicted on Yuu during book 5.

I have this headcannon inspired by this one shot by uniquethingtastemaker

https://www.tumblr.com/uniquethingtastemaker/720073081338626048/neige-x-reader-white-beaches-and-a-spring-morning?source=share

The headcannon: Basically Yuu (who is female for this) hides the fact that she's a girl for safety reasons (I mean not only is Yuu magic less in another world, she's also in a all boy school. Yeah that doesn't scream good idea). The only who knows are the teachers, Crowley, Grim and later Ace and Deuce when she's comfortable enough to tell them. At some point before book 5, Yuu is allowed a small vacation out of NRC for the crap she had to deal with jamil in the previous book; during her vacation goes out as herself and runs into neige. They become friends and stay in touch with one another. Yuu made Neige promise not to say anything about her actually gender as a few know in NRC.

*Also have a headcannon where Yuu is a school idol like love live and secretly helps Neige and the dwarfs write a song and dance that works for them for VDC. Yuu and Neige were already writing a song together just for fun since Yuu missed being a school idol and hasn't written a song since coming to twisted wonderland 😅

Plus it's something she has a choice in and would fun doing with a friend. During book 5, Crowley literally forced Yuu's hand by threatening their plumbing and Vil just dub them the manager without asking if it was okay with them. There's also how forceful he was being. . . .

There's no rule that has she can't and she's not even in the group.

Sorry for rambling 😅

So I've written about my thoughts on Vil before and honestly he's kind of one of my - if not my most - least favourite character(s).

I've cut this up for length:

I know that he has a lot of trauma and that he's a character that lots of people can mischaracterize and hate irrationally but he just rubs me the wrong way - and I'm saying this as a former gifted child and as someone who has witnessed people go through burn out both in Primary and Secondary school. I feel sorry for him and I understand that the pressure of perfection can be an incredible burden to bear but the way he treats others is just so grating that I can't say I like him that much.

Honestly, Book 5 is my least favourite book (then it's 3 then 4) and I have so much to say for everything; the blackmail, Vil's behaviour, Vil cursing our food without telling us, having to share a dorm with Jamil when he used Yuu and endangered them for his own gain (and then Kalim for sweeping it under the rug), Vil almost making Deuce cry, the Neige hate, Vil facing absolutely no consequences for trying to murder someone and then nearly killing everyone and destroying a building.

Yes, I agree that Epel has a mindset of toxic masculinity and yes, it should be addressed and challenged. But Vil's military dictator training and forcing him to do things that he hates (and even making him hide his accent - something that connects him to the home and family he loves) is not how you do it. I don't despise feminine things like he does, but even I would hate to live up to Vil's standards every single day (especially when Vil degrades far more times than he praises).

Something I really really hate about the twst fandom is how lots of people put down Neige or make him the butt of a joke just to make Vil better. I've seen so many jokes or fanfics or imagines where Neige gets rejected or laughed at or treated terribly just so that Vil can be seen as superior and as someone who actually really likes Neige and has Snow White as their favourite princess ever since they were in reception, I just can't stand the Neige hate. Especially when he was almost a victim of a poisoning plot - as in Vil literally tried to kill him for absolutely no reason at all (before he then tried to kill us for 'seeing an ugly side of him' which we are supposed to forgive because of course we are)

I really loved that Neige story and I actually do headcanon that Neige and Yuu are really close friends and they text each other 24/7 (and also with Prince Rielle). I did make a #JusticeForYuu post where I said that I wanted Yuu to just send the entirety of NRC (minus Ace and Deuce) to coventry and not give them the time of day so I thought it would be just delicious if Neige is the one that helps Yuu with all things fashion related since he's just as famous (if not more so) than Vil with his own line of clothing and make up and would have access to things they would need.

And I think you somehow managed to read my mind because I have this Yuu that's a theatre kid (this is not relevant at all but this fem!Yuu was also Christine Daaé in her theatre's performance of Phantom of the Opera) with the voice of an angel that's best friends with Neige and the two of them totally duet together - I did kind of toy with the idea of Neige hyping her up to sing something for VDC as a closing performance and her blowing everyone away but I digress...

You know what? I am actually against the headcanon that RSA is filled with snooty, condescending, stuck up rich kids with a holier-than-thou attitude - I'm under the firm belief that the RSA students are actual sweethearts who are kind and caring and aren't the type of people who would inflict trauma on an innocent magicless teenager. The only reason why I don't want Yuu to transfer to RSA is because they'd have to leave Ace and Deuce behind (as well as the Ramshackle ghosts) and those boys are literally everything to me so I like to think that Yuu likes to go to RSA like once a week or something to spend time with people who don't try to manipulate or mistreat them.

I do have a lot more things to say but my brain has gone to mush and I can't think of anything so here

[naruko-hyuga]

One thing that really grinds my gears about the fandom is how Sasuke gets treated with such contempt. Yet, Itachi is treated like he's some sort of goody little Two-Shoes when one is a genocide survivor, and another is a perpetrator of genocide. Sasuke's actions during the second half of the Naruto story are not entirely unjustified. He's a survivor of a genocide; he's a victim of an unjust system that sweeps his trauma under the rug, while Itachi is treated as some sort of hero when he's nothing more than a victimizer and a monster.

Don't care what the story says or what his fans say. Itachi is a murderer, nothing more, nothing less. Sasuke didn't murder children he didn't murder innocent civilians. Itachi did that. I'll go on a limb here and say Sasuke almost did nothing wrong; it's only shoddy writing that says he did.

As someone who has been abused myself, I find it gross just how the Naruto fandom completely downplays the abuse Itachi inflicted on Sasuke. Sasuke's entire childhood after the Uchiha clan massacre and even his struggle as an adult to connect with his own child is Itachi's fault. Sasuke is a victim, and he should be treated as one, not as a monster, because he wanted Justice for his people.

[typellblog]

just watched elfen lied (2004). this is not a good show. i did not watch this expecting it to be a good show. sometimes, however, it's interesting to see how bad a show can get

it is a fusion of a gratuitously edgy scifi show and a harem show. this contradiction is embodied in the character of lucy, who has split personalities, one of which is a psychotic killer. stop me if you've heard this before

she swaps between personas based on head trauma, being confronted with her crimes, sleeping drugs, and whenever it is convenient for the plot. her other personality is a moe anime girl who does not understand language or how to interact with objects in the world on a basic level.

it's honestly kind of creepy how the show views nyuu as a legitimate target for romantic affection from the protagonist, especially when compared to lucy, who is both intelligent and actually possesses a complex internal life.

we do not get to see this very much, as she is largely a vessel for gory and pointless scifi battles rather than any character drama. so if you were wondering how the harem elements works with the scifi stuff, the answer is really that they do not

the normal human protagonists only avoid death by extreme contrivance whenever they interact with the deadlier elements of the setting, and remain unaware of much of what's going on until the end, thanks to extremely convenient personality switches on lucy's part

of course, if you were wondering how the harem elements work on their own, the answer would also be that they do not

kouta, the protagonist, is such a wet blanket that its impossible to interpret his feelings towards any of the girls until he is shown kissing them on screen. yuka, his cousin, has the emotional maturity of a deeply traumatised child, which is not a flippant comparison given that multiple such characters are depicted in the show. if she had psychic powers like the Diclonius she would probably end up being a mass murderer

which raises the interesting question of what the show's actual view on the creatures is. do they kill people out of irresistible instinct, as the evil scientist types claim? or are they simply lashing out at the people who hurt them, and would be able to adjust to normal life if properly supported by their family, like we might assume from the case of Nana?

the show doesn't really care, sweeping the awkward problem of how to deal with characters like Mariko under the rug by exploding her, but only after the sympathetic figure of her father forgives and accepts her, dying in the explosion with her to atone for his crime of trying to kill her in the first place. writing this out makes it seem more thematically coherent than how it actually comes off.

but back to the harem stuff. i know i'm swapping around a lot. don't worry, it is accurate to the experience of watching the show.

i suppose calling it a harem feels somewhat inaccurate since only two of the girls harbour romantic feelings for kouta, the other two being younger characters given a more 'daughterly' position in the household. these girls make no particular effort to grow closer to kouta, neither does he deliberately or accidentally woo them into liking him. they are simply drawn into his orbit by the sheer force of the show needing a bunch of girls to fill up kouta's stupidly large and empty house.

mayu is the most notable example, considering she has no connection to the scifi plot whatsoever, simply happening to stumble upon the house while in the middle of being homeless.

i feel like it's important to point out that she also walks around with no pants on for a decent portion of the show. if you pay attention it's implied she isn't wearing any underwear either. the reason for this is, and i am not joking or exaggerating, that her father was molesting her and forcing her to strip and she ran out of the house right after taking her bottoms off.

mayu wears a big jumper, so she has plausible deniability to both the audience and random onlookers. however, kouta and yuka invite her into their house for an extended period of time and then let her leave again without ever commenting on the fact that she isn't wearing any fucking pants

the show is filled with baffling decisions like this that erode any trust in the consistency or good taste of the character writing, much less any expectation that the characters' actions make sense on any level

they test the psychic girls powers by strapping them to a wall and firing cannonballs at them. this doesn't even turn out to be effective in-universe.

im very sleepy. what more can i even say about this show.

i think it's cool when girls get their arms chopped off. unfortunately it pretty obviously limits itself to only limbs on account of the characters being able to replace them using prosthetics combined with their psychic powers. i would have liked to see more guts

the opening theme is good and very creative. i skipped it every time

the way the show ends is functionally a non-ending. i'll have to look at the manga soon

multiple people have told me this was their first anime. it explains a lot about them in every case.

goodnight

[spopsalt]

About Scorpia's kingdom: I believe that it was covered that the Horde took it over and built over it in an episode. I hate how when they talked about it, they just immediately swept it under the rug.

Yeah, Scropia also apparently has no trauma from it, don't you love how spop sweeps trauma under the rug?

[acourtofthought]

Do you think people will try to claim the reason Nesta and Azriel didn't credit Elain for helping kill the KOH is because Elain herself doesn't want the credit and they are just respecting that? And the fact that Lucien gave her credit for the killing blow and her immediately brushing it off means he doesn't really understand her? I can imagine elriels making this point

If that were the case then I imagine we would have gotten a hint of that in Nesta's book or Az's POV. But as it were, neither Nesta (in her own mind) ever acknowledged that Elain had saved her life nor did Az. That they respected that she didn't want the credit but were impressed with how she saved Nesta and Cassian, how it meant something that they are alive because of her. It's extremely meaningful that Lucien is shown on page as crediting Elain for making the killing blow. Her mate acknowledges that he heard of the part she played, regardless of how she feels about it because it is up to her to tell us how she feels. It's not up to another character to decide for her. Considering Elain offered to search for the Trove and Az went behind her back to say she shouldn't, I think it's clear he really doesn't know her. Considering Elain had to yell at Nesta for treating her like a child and Az went on to claim he'd defeat Lucien in a Blood Duel over her, again, I think it's clear he doesn't know her. Considering Elain asked Feyre to leave Graysen unharmed and Az says, "if he kills him good riddance".........(I think you take my meaning). Elain also does not fully turn away from the credit Lucien gives her, she says "Nesta did. I just stabbed him". So she still claims the part she feels she played. She didn't say, "please don't say that" or "I don't want to own up to that." We have no real idea how she feels for sure, all we know is that she's sharing the victory with her sister. In ACOFAS, we have Rhys give Elain credit for killing the King in his own thoughts. But not once does SJM show Nesta or Az thinking of Elain's bravery, how they know it bothered her to stab him. And if they did sense that it upset her to the point that she doesn't want any credit, you'd think they'd try to have a conversation with her about it if it was causing her inner turmoil. This is another situation where E/riels sweep Az's poor behavior under the rug in order to convince themselves he's still the best man for her when it's always been clear that the only thing Az cares about when it comes to Elain is the way he's been able to play hero for her or can be her protector. Never acknowledging her trauma or her bravery.

[the-owl-tree]

Ivyblossom, firesand, or ivyfern?

IvyBlossom: I can get behind a shitty, toxic relationship between two characters who don't really feel that attachment to one another but because they're the only two who understand what one another really went through they latch on until they drag each other under the foamy waters of the sea. Like at least compared to another certain pairing in this ask, Blossomfall at least has some connection to Ivypool's trauma and the struggle she went through.

FireSand: I mean. It's fine. I think it's marginally better than other POV ships because Sandstorm actually does come around...sort of. We realize she literally comes to see Firestar as an exception and not that she's recognizing her own bias (as noted with how she treats Princess). It feels unfinished and I think the fandom treating it as one of the few "wholesome good ships" kind of makes it easier to sweep under the rug that it's got quite a few holes that should be discussed (in the same vein as like BrightCloud where people don't really wanna discuss the issues because they want some last remaining bastion of wholesome ship to like without feeling bad about it, ya know?)

IvyFern: what if we paired this character to a random man she's related to who had no part to play in her story or even had a splinter of understanding of what she went through? you don't like that? okay, but what if we gave him a FEMININE (that's right guys, FEMININE hehe) name? And we had him say he was gonna watch the babies (that's right guys. a MAN watching his OWN CHILDREN? we'll take our feminism award right here and now haha. wait hang on what do you mean we have to actually show him doing that?)? and then the fandom ate it up and got mad at anyone who didn't like this ship for the aforementioned reasons above. Insert the weird rant Widok got in their askbox about we should be grateful for any scraps of ""progressive writing"" we get in warriors (no, actually, men taking care of their own babies is not the big leap of progress some people think). I dislike it quite a bit, canon's writing of it sucks shit and the fandom's old ravenous insistence of defending still has me annoyed.