#don't fall for my Jokers Trick

[crazyboy3million]

Am I the first person to notice this lol

[aplaceforhumancorpses]

🍵༘PANCAKES🥯⊹ ࣪ ˖

„⤵ MILD ANGST and fluff! „⤵ 2 / (?) PARTS „⤵ JASON TODD X READER Jason is getting settled in his new home, after showing up at your door last night. Jason is a dead man walking, but he still needs you. Read PT 1 here! AFFECTION ROTS Reblogs much appreciated

The two of you eventually found the couch. You sat next to him, putting a throw pillow's distance between the two of you. Much to his disappointment. Jason was more clingy then he had ever been before. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. A few hours passed. You had both fallen asleep sometime after midnight. That morning he explained everything as best as he could to you, his death at the hands of the joker, the crowbar, the ressurection. Despite the granted confusion you followed as best you could. He told you everything. Everything that happened from the moment he died. He really missed you, despite the two of you being dumb in love teeangers. He still saw a future with you, and you were wary to admit you weren't sure you saw the same. He was diffrerent. Bigger, taller, stronger. And somehow more alive, than anything before. “I'm sorry." You managed to say. You felt like such a coward. You couldn't handle touching him, or holding his hand.

“I can't blame you. It'll take some time." He said sadly. You could see in his eyes that he was blaming himself. "You're doing great… I really am proud of you. Just wish we could've done all this… together, y'know?" he said the last part quietly, almost a whisper. You looked down, unable to hold eye contact.

"Things are a little bit different now. You know that right? I can't change my past. Even though I'd like to." You spoke slowly. "You know, it's gonna take some time. I don't regret our relationship. Never have."

”You're serious, huh?" he raised an eyebrow. It was nearly commical. You were devestating him with every word you spoke. "I wanted us to do this forever, you know? Like… forever. You've always been on my mind.. guess I should've known things weren't gonna stay the same. You're not fifteen anymore.." he mumbled.

He had a faraway look in his eye. You wondered how much of this story he had clearly made up inside his mind depended on you reciprocating his tender feelings. But you knew this was his way of trying to comfort you, despite his broken soul. He would give you time… "Do you remember our first date?" He suddenly asked. He smiled shyly, looking down at his lap. The image came unbidden to your mind, vivid and perfect. You remembered how much effort he put into planning. He was more thorough then any man. He was attentive, and a good listener. So why were you hesitant..? Maybe it was his dependency. “Um. Yes I remember- Um.. do you want breakfast?.." You said weakly, standing up and turning towards the kitchen, leaving him to his own thoughts. "I can make us something quick…" You heard him sigh in disappointment. When you finally turned around again, his elbows were on his knees. He was curled into himself. You knew he was trying to be strong. But it was hard to admire his strengths when he looked so pitiful.. It broke your heart. "I'm making pancakes.. Do you want some? They're grainy but- edible." You offered hesitantly.

“Yeah.. sounds good.” His voice cracked. He didn’t have a good relationship with food. After the truama of his death and even before that with the joker, he hadn’t been hungry at all. He never wanted food.. and when he did it threw it up promptly. Food always felt unsafe to him. And that included food cooked by you.. which seemed ironic, because he would have worshipped the ground beneath you if you asked him to.

He wondered if he watched the whole process of cooking from start to finish if he would feel better about it. He could trick his brain into understanding he was safe.

“God you’re so gorgeous..” He sighed. “I’m tired of falling for you all over again… s’not fair. Why can’t I have you?” You paused, setting the pan on the stove as it heated up. Melting the butter into a bubbly golden liquid. There was no denying he had changed a lot. He went from 4”6 to an even 6 foot. You could see the stretch marks that painted his hips whenever he lifted his arms up. Despite your ‘disinterest’ in him romantically, you would still take small peeks and glances whenever his shirt rode up, revealing some of the new muscle he had gained.

His sudden growth wasn’t unwelcome, it was just shocking that he had grown that much within the span of a few years. Especially considering he had always been smaller than you.

But you had accepted his advances with only halfhearted interest. Even if he was a handsome behemoth of a man today. But it was hard to deny the fact that when he looked at you like he did now, you felt a lingering warmth.

He hadn’t lost his charm. He still knew how to make you blush and smile. But maybe you were too afraid of losing what you shared with him.. again..

As you began making the pancake mix he kept his gaze trained on you and the food. He was obviously enthralled with it.. “I like strawberries.” He smiled softly, watching you work through the recipe. He’d always loved watching you cook. It reminded him of home.. it was vaguely reminiscent of Alfred. Even if he hated the Waynes he still missed having a family. “They remind me of you.” He continued. “Those soft, shiny pinkish red ones…” You nodded along to his words. He was always so sentimental.. “They smell like spring.” He added, smiling slightly. You felt yourself relax at his words. He could be sweet sometimes, despite the fact he was now, 10x his size, strength, and power. He was probably better at a lot of things now, you didn’t want to know what he would do to any of the failed relationships you had in your contacts still... But it was clear he still had that innocent side that you once loved. Jason was like weathered plastic in the garden, his old self was fading, but the spots where the sunlight hadn’t burned away the old Jason todd were still as vibrant and tender as ever. He seemed happier than usual too. His cheeks had begun to lighten up again, his skin seemed to glow from just having seen you again.

The food was ready, and you brought him over to the table. “I’m not an amazing cook, but I hope it’s okay….” You handed him the fork. He was silent for a while, staring at the plate in front of him.

“I uh.. I’m usually not so good with food but this does look really good I promise. It feels like I constantly have the flu. My mind is all fucking broken.."

"You deserve a break." You said, sitting opposite of him across the table. Your fingers intertwined tightly with your own beneath the table, under the table. You tried to suppress your nerves. He needed comfort and support now, you couldn't give him more. "You're here.. With me.. That's something." You said, trying to encourage him.

“I still want you. So bad..” He mumbled. His fork clinked against his plate as he set it down gently. You took a deep breath. You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t ready to talk about your problem with the matter of your relationship. You just wanted him to eat, and try to get better..

“Jason-“ You warned.

“Do you still love me?” He interrupted. He was trying to sound calm, but he was clearly agitated. The question threw you off guard. He looked at you with wide, desperate eyes. “Answer honestly. I need to know.” You hesitated.

“Yes.” You answered truthfully, not able to hide the hurt on your face.

“You don’t even want to touch me…” he muttered dejectedly.

“You died- I was at your funeral.. I don’t understand how your here right now..” you said firmly. “I’m just… confused, ok? I thought I understood everything..” You were trembling. You knew he saw, he understood. You didn’t know how to deal with the guilt gnawing at your stomach.. You hated seeing him this upset. “I miss you..” he whispered, staring at you with pleading eyes.

You lowered your gaze and shook your head. “I’m sorry- you.. Do you have a place to stay?..”

“Are you kicking me out?..”

“Well no- but I feel bad for making you sleep on the couch.” You explained. “You’ve done nothing wrong.. I’m sorry… do you want to stay?”

He remained silent and slowly ate the food placed in front of him. His lips forming into a thin line. He looked exhausted. But he was eating the meal you had made, albeit reluctantly and very slowly. It took him about 20 minutes, as he finished every bite without looking up or saying a word.

“Yeah. I want to stay here for a bit.” He replied after he finished chewing. You nodded, relieved. He pushed back the chair and stood up. He looked exhausted.

“I’ll get you some blankets.” You said quietly, walking back to your room to bring some out to him. While searching your closet, you heard soft footsteps behind you. Your body froze for a split second. Just Jason.. Just Jason…. Then you relaxed. You pulled out two fluffy blankets. You walked back towards him, throwing them over his shoulders. He let out a content sigh at the warmth. “It smells like you…” he mused. He looked so at peace. Like you had injected life into him for the first time since he got here.

He grabbed one pillow from your bed and squeezed it. He closed his eyes, feeling the soft material against his skin. You couldn’t help but smile softly. He looked at you like you hung the moon in the sky. A sense of wonder and relief washing over his features. He turned to the doorway, making his way to the living room.

The television flickered dimly on your TV stand. Your DVD’s stacked high, mostly disney and other classics. “I love you so much..” he murmured, looking around your home.

“I…” You paused. “Know.. you do..” you trailed off, not knowing how else to respond. It felt weird hearing those words come from him. You spent nights hoping to hear those exact words just.. one more time. Hearing them now..

“Where were you?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the overwhelming guilt weighing down your chest.

“Oh y’know…” He shrugged. “Just…” he laughed awkwardly before sitting down on the couch. “Just running around doing shit. Nothing serious.” He admitted. “But I was able to find you eventually. I actually used to sit in the parking lot and stare at your apartment door, waiting for you to open it..” he looked embarrassed to admit that, scratching the side of his jaw. You chuckled lightly at that image. “You should have seen it, though! I sat there until my legs went numb and then I finally decided to walk away because I felt kinda creepy sitting there watching like that..” He grinned, remembering how pathetic and childish it sounded. “But, I had to see you last night. I had to talk to you... See how you were...” He said, sadly. “God…I’m really messed up.” He sighed, dropping his gaze onto the floor. You frowned as you noticed his mood swing.

“I missed you too-… I’m glad you’re back, and I’m sorry I’m being so cold.” You apologised.

He gave you an understanding glance, “you can be pretty difficult to read these days.. I just.. I hope you can understand my intentions. I still want you.”

“Night Jay.” You stood up, attempting to run away from the topic. “I have class in the morning. I gotta get some sleep. I have a presentation coming up.” You walked towards the bedroom, but stopped. You didn’t want to leave him alone yet. What happened wasn’t fair. “I’ll be back around 12 or so.. tomorrow.”

“Goodnight baby.” He sighed, laying down on the couch. You smiled at his nickname.

He stayed sleeping in his makeshift bed the whole evening, until 4 am or so when he slipped out from the blankets and into your room. He was just getting up to check on you, but eventually it became him… getting a closer look.. getting in bed. and passing out next to you. These blankets were big enough to cover him completely, no cold feet. There was barely any distance between you.

“Night..” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. He laid down facing away from you, but in his mind he was holding you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you. ...

[ask-maxie-boy]

Goonion's Ghoul (Part 3) [dp x dc]

(A/N we switching the official name of the goonion to The First Universal Henchmans' Union. Just makes sense, thank y'all for the advice)

(Parts 1 & 2: here) (Part 4: here)

"Before we begin, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Mainly, can I ask for your preferred name?"

"Is that a joke?"

"Well, I figured it would professional to come out and call you Mr. Cobblepot, but seeing as we're talking about a... certain aspect of your enterprises, I wasn't sure you wanted your legal name in the records. The Union takes confidentiality very seriously."

Oswald Cobblepot looked down at the scrawny boy in front of him. This was the guy that had Eddie shaking in his boots? He tapped the ashes off his cigarette into the ashtray, and scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me, as long as you remember who you're talking to before you open your mouth."

"Of course! As you wish, Mr. Penguin."

There it was. That smile just a bit too wide, just like Riddler had said. Oswald Cobblepot wasn't an amateur, he wouldn't let something like that throw him off balance. "Alright, kid, lets cut to the chase. Whats this all about a Union?"

"Oh, Mr. Penguin, I had thought you heard! The First Universal Henchmans' Union is a recently formed collective of working class freelance goons, henchmen, and grunts of all different colors."

"Hweh! And what do I care if a bunch of simpletons wanna have a party together?"

The kid's head tilted, a sickening crack! ringing through the room. Just for a second, its eyes seemed to glow.

When you deal with bats for so long, little things like that don't sway you.

"If they're so little to you in your mind, then surely anything they might ask of you shouldn't be that hard to swallow?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop, as the thing's face tried to imitate inquisitiveness.

Good. The Penguin likes it cold.

"You can toss away the whole intimidation shtick, boy. I didn't get to be where I was by bending over to every ignoramus who thinks they can get me to do what they want."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you start to pay more attention to little expressions. The way the shadows suddenly fall onto the boy's blue-eyed, black haired face as he tilts his head downward makes The Penguin's flinch, just for a moment.

"I promise you sir, the Goonion is a very real, and very serious organization."

Cobblepot sneers, cigarette holder angling upward, as he taps his umbrella on the ground. "I pay my people well. My lounge is up to code, too. You don't have a damn thing on me, and here you are trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Well listen here, boy, you don't run an operation like this in Gotham without knowing fear. Fear is watching every shadow, looking for the pin pricks of light. Fear is the cracking of bones in the room over as you know the jig's up. Fear is watching Gotham's shadow spawn appear from the darkness, promising the only thing he wont do is kill you. You're way out of your league if you think I'll bend to such a cheap trick."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you learn to keep your eyes open. You keep track of exits, you look for little disturbances, keep your ears ready for even the softest sound.

You pay attention to that little voice that says you're being watched.

"Mr Penguin, do I need to remind you just who these 'simpletons' are? They're the men who carry your goods to and from your lounge. They're the ones who rig up the Riddler's bombs, traffic weapons in and out of the city. What happens when deals go south, when plans are canceled partway though?"

When you deal with Bats for so long, you watch the shadows. They practically live in them, entering and exiting like they're made from the stuff. Anything that might give away their position.

The shadows are dancing. Pulsing with something even darker than Gotham. He swears he can hear the sound of a bat gently hitting someone's hand. Distant laughter, not natural, almost forced.

"You know, Mr. Penguin, The Joker is easily one of our worst offenders. One of his more interesting complaints is the lack of security in regards to chemicals. See, he doesn't really care much if there's missing inventory, or what happens after his plan, as long as there's enough for what he needs." A vial flutters between its fingers, eyes almost bored as a forked tongue slides between sharpened teeth. "I wonder, where does it all go?

Eyes, green as emerald and as bright as the sun burn into Ozwald's. A grin stretches wider, wider, quite literally from one ear to the next filled with jagged teeth. "Do you want to find out?"

...~☆~...

"...My... smoking habits."

"Yeah, honestly. Its like you said. Most of your stuff is up to board, and your workers are fairly happy. Its mainly just an issue for henches with asthma, though secondhand smoke isn't something most people enjoy."

"You did all that over my cigarettes?!"

"its fairly understood that the Iceberg Lounge is not a smoke-free area, so you can do as you please there, but when it comes to abandoned warehouses or other places of business, we ask you please refrain from smoking."

"I can't believe this."

"For what its worth, the goons understand its part of your whole outfit, and are willing to compromise. We have a list of alternatives that visibly resemble a lit cigarette, and will fit in your holder, but wont actually release any smoke..."

@akikkobara @thegatorsgoose @addie-lover-of-stories @apointlessbox @screamingtofillthevoid @semiprofessionaldumbass @sailor-goddess @malice-of-the-sunrise @savaton @spikedlynx @emergentpanda-blog @starlightcat04

[howi99]

Circus Light chapter 5.5

Doll: *enter her tent with a sigh* Sorry for earlier, Shine- *doesn't see him* ... *See's a bunch of candy on her pillow, along with a note* What's that? *Takes the note, reading it* ... *Sigh* Idiot... I should be the one to apologize...

Second-string: *looking inside* Hey, pipsqueak!

Doll: *turning around, surprised* U-uh?

Second-string: There's a guy searching for your friend. You know, the glowing one?

Doll: ... What?

_ _ _

Jaune: *covered by a bunch of snakes* I can't continue to pester her with this kind of talk, you know what i mean, right?

Snake: *eating one of the candy Jaune brought from the Store, nodding*

Jaune: *sigh* It's as if i can't keep myself from bringing back bad memories. *Lean his head against the table* And i couldn't find a single clue on where those kids would be. *Groan* I'm a failure...

Snake: "You aren't a failure, Shine. This is just something a single man can't manage on his own" - says Wordsworth *pats Jaune's back* "I don't mind helping ya! I got one of the best senses of smell in the whole world!" - says Wilde

Jaune: *turning his face towards the snake, booping it's nose* Thanks buddy, but i doubt you'd survive outside this tent. *Sad smile* You're a tropical Snake, and it's too cold at this time of year.

Snake: ... *Point to the candle illuminating Jaune's face*

Jaune: *perplexed* What is it, Snake?

Snake: "Couldn't you use your light to keep us warm? You know, like you did with Snake?" -says Emily.

Jaune: *frown* Kept you warm? *Lifting his head from the table* What do you mean?

Snake: "*chuckle* Well, when you healed Snake, your light stayed in him for a while, keeping him warm for a while." -says Emily.

Jaune: *blinking* Really? *Pensive* I know animals can use aura, my- *frown* (Weird, Why do i know that Ruby has a dog?) *shaking his head* (Well, that's not really important.) My friend has a dog with aura, so i might be able to unlock one of your snakes's... *Scratching his head* Don't know how though. *Sigh* And i'd need something to charge my scroll to learn how...

Doll: *looking inside, seeing Jaune covered in snakes* SHINE!?

Jaune: *falling down the chair from surprise, the snakes scattering* Freckles, don't scream like that, you almost gave me a heart attack!

Doll: *mumbling* Sorry about that... *Remembering what she came to do* Wait, no, nevermind that, we are leaving town.

Jaune: *blinking* ...Today!? Didn't we have 3 more days?!

Doll: *shake her head* Joker is leaving for a while and Dagger wants us to depart as soon as possible. *Looking worried* And your little magic trick is beginning to make waves, so it's best for us to skedaddle as soon as possible.

Jaune: ... Really?

Doll: *rubbing her forehead* Shine, you healed someone outside of the camp, what do you think was going to happen!?

Jaune: ... H-how did you-

Doll: *sigh* Shine, you can't go around during the night to heal the less fortunate while searching for the kids. You're gonna get yourself killed.

Jaune: But it was just one-

Doll: *deadpan* I won't forgive you if you lie to me.

Jaune: ... Ok fine, i healed a couple of people, big deal. *Shrug* I was wearing a mask so nobody would recognize me-

Doll: ... Shine, you literally shine when you heal people. A mask isn't going to change that!

Jaune: ... Uh... Oops?

[sleepisoverrated]

My headcanons about Dick Grayson

Dick is touched starved.

Think about it he grew up in a circus, that he considered family, when he was little he always got physical affection and after he was adopted by Bruce he still got some(because lets face it Bruce was a softie for Dick when he was Robin) though a lot less because Bruce isn't a touchy person, but after being fired and going solo he had a lot less physical affection from his loved ones(especially when he had a "falling out" with the Titans and YJ). I think over time he became touched starved, thats why he gives bear hugs and is more affectionate to everyone. AlsoI think it got slightly better when he was Batman and had his Robin. That's why Damian is more clingy with him and allows Dicks affection (He also knows when not to touch)(Also you can't convince me Dick isn't Damians favourite person and that they don't share a father-son relationship (mentor-student, older brother-younger brother, hero-sidekick, hero-fan all of these also aply))

Dick is still angry with Bruce about a lot of things.

How he took away Robin. How he dared give it away without his notice or permission. How he made Robin into a mantle. How he found out he took in Jason and gave him Robin from a newspaper. How he failed Jason and then blamed him. How he didn't say that Jason died. How he wasn't even invited to his funeral. How he kept secret that Jason was alive. How he used a batarang on Jason, almost killing him again, instead of Joker. How he treated Damian when he first came here and sometimes even now. How he purposely separated him from Damian, because he was jealous (of their father-son relationship). How Bruce beat him into submission to join Spyral. How that wasn't the first time Bruce hit him. How Bruce never made a backup plan to extract him from Spyral. How Bruce forgot(got amnesia) him in Spyral. How he lied to his siblings that he went along willingly with it. (If you can't tell I like Angry Dick Grayson fics)

‌Dick and Slade are frenemies.

Basically as long as Dick doesn't interfere with his jobs, they are close friends, but as soon as he interferes they don't hold back from lethal force. I know Slade kidnapped him and kinda tortured him and Dick was obsessed with him to the point of insanity, BUT they both obsessed over one another so much that they know eachother the best and after a while they sorta lost their motivation to constantly fight(though spars are still fair game, the only rule is the other doesn't die) eachother. So now they meet up monthly to bitch and complain about their lives and gossip like old ladies, with some alcohol on a random rooftop. They are the embodiment of don't mix business with pleasure, when they meet on one of Slades jobs they pull out all stops and fight viciously, mercilessly and brutally, but the next day(night?) Slade comes over with the good whiskey and they spend their night watching the rom-coms, because Dick thinks it's funny to force the Terminator to watch them and because he's endlessly amused when Slade actually gets invested in it.

Dick Grayson taught Damian.

About the Romani language/culture, acrobatics, trapeze, circus, travel, all the recipes of Romani dishes that he knows, Romani stories, Robin tricks, stories, secrets (By Romani culture Damian is his son and they both decided to keep that a secret from the others, btw he also learned about Damians Arabic traditions, foods, language). I think that Damian values this more than his inheritance as an Al-Ghul and Wayne, because Dick chose to give his culture and inheritance to him, not because he was obliged to.

...So you seemed to like my rant's/headcanon's *throws cautiously some more headcanons in your direction*... have some more?

P.S. Someone pointed out that there are a lot of canon in the last post instead of headcanon's, but I read so little of the comics that I can't really tell whats canon and whats not.

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

so sorry to take a break from politics for a second, but i need to rant about this new Joker movie.

please no. please please please no. for so many reasons.

the simplest of which is that the Joker is just such a tired story. it's been told so fucking many times. we get it! toxic masculine asshole falls into chemicals, turns into supervillain, manipulates and abuses his girlfriend, "sOcIeTy" yadda yadda fucking yadda. it was interesting for a while, but it's not anymore. there's no new way to tell this story!! it's been told!!

if you know me personally, you know that Harley Quinn is an icon of mine, and the movie Birds of Prey is extremely important to me. now before anybody comes at me about how "bad" a movie BoP was, i don't wanna hear it. you won't change my mind in thinking it's incredible. the only legit criticism i've seen has been badly veiled misogyny, or upset about the pacing (it was told by Harley Quinn! what did you expect?). but Birds of Prey was AMAZING because Margot Robbie fought HARD to FREE HARLEY QUINN. as the comics have made clear, Joker/Harley is one of the most toxic relationships to exist. Joker is manipulative, abusive, take all the credit for Harley's work, and overall, it's just a shitty relationship. but somehow the Joker movies have convinced the media that Joker/Harley is soooo romantic because Harley is so ride or die. Joker/Harley feeds into the "dark romance" genre. it appeals to men because Joker forces Harley into sexuality and Harley does whatever he says. women somehow got tricked into thinking it was romantic, too. and this pisses me off especially because in the comics!!! Joker/Harley is established to be abusive!!! and Harley gets out!!! and has a healthy relationship with Poison Ivy!!! and in BoP, Margot Robbie had to FIGHT the writers every step of the way to make Harley a) leave the Joker b) not go crawling back to him and c) be her own, fabulous person like she is in the comics. the point is, BoP and Suicide Squad 2 Harley is perfect, lines up with comic Harley, and is a huge role model for women, especially women leaving toxic relationships. and NOW this new Joker wants to throw all that away and make Harley that girl who bends over backwards to support Joker's abuse again! they want to undo all of that progress just to give us the same old "love story" that's really just a sick man preying on a girl (who was put in an uncomfortable position to turn him down because she was his therapist!!). why must we tell this same, tired story, WHILE throwing away all our progress with Harley that Margot Robbie pushed so damn hard for!

and finally, i'm just sick of how the audience receives the Joker. no matter how obviously Joker is shown as not a good guy or role model, teenage (and older) boys will ALWAYS view him as this hero who enforces toxic masculinity in a way that's cool enough that it sucks them in! the more we tell this fuckers story and glorify his shitty behavior (EVEN IF THE MOVIE IS TRYING TO BE SATIRE THAT CRITICIZES HIS BEHAVIOR), the more boys and men will insist that he's a role model and let their own toxic masculinity and woman hating grow and feed off him. THE JOKER IS NOT A FEEL GOOD STORY!! you're not supposed to hear the Joker talk and actually agree with him!! but just like American Psycho, these men will take a piece of media telling a CAUTIONARY TALE/SATIRICAL PIECE about toxic masculinity and make it their whole personality and use it to justify their own shitty behavior.

Gaga, please. I adore you, but i expected more from you. we do not need another Joker. i'm not prepared to see the halloween costumes of girls who are genuinely tricked into thinking this story is romantic. i'm not ready for the boys and men imitating the Joker again. i don't want to hear the same damn story again and again and again when the original point has been lost and misconceived dozens of remakes ago. why.

[montimer]

Howdy ! Okay I just read your post about the Three Jokers and gosh how I’m so happy to see that you wrote for them ;-; I feel like they’re quite niche- so- if you ever feel inspired ! I would love more interactions with them-! Either the way each one of them (or in group) acts and develops feelings for the reader or something like that- (maybe some angst to comfort for the Criminal as well-? Nah I’m sorry I have so many ideas about these 3 dorks xd) thank you again for making me happy with your works ! You rock !

AGWHBSZMAjz thank you sm :]

I have so many ideas w em im happy that u like my writing‼️

The three jokers x reader

Gn!reader

I'll try an all in one! This is gonna be a long one. I will do them separately in another one!

The clown >:D The comedian >:} The Criminal >:{

Okay so first things first. How they fell for you.

'The Comedian' was the first one to take a notice in you. You might be a hero, or villain. Even just a random citizen. He will talk to you and annoy you all night. His face is covered with his hat and he deepened his voice incase you are indeed a hero just out of suit. Yes he will know its you, he did all his researched and even followed you home, he calls this "Just happened to walk the same way a bit close behind".

In the night he'll joke and show you tricks. Even a smile can make him a happier men that day. Especially if you talk with him.

'The Clown' will join him soon enough. Saying "Sharing is caring". He absolutely adores you.

'The Comedian' knew about you for a long time. He just wanted you all for himself. But now that the two of them grew interested in you he believes its the best to confront you.

With good old kidnapping of course. They will lead you into an alley way, then gather around you, one of them spraying you with sleeping gas. "Im sorry, its the only way we can do this without trouble. But don't worry you're in good hands" The Criminal says before you fall asleep.

You woke up in a bed. One of your hand chained to it. You obviously panic. After hearing you wake up The Comedian comes in.

"Oh yeah, sorry. We had to make sure you don't run away... But worry not darling, the sooner you realize why you're here the sooner you can walk around freely!" You gave him a confused face and he just giggles seeing your surprised face.

He goes out and soon comes back with the others, now all three in the room as you. And you sit there scared.

Do i own them money? Is the first thought that comes to your mind.

One of them kneels down so his face is directly looking into yours. As that happens you notice something strange. He isn't smiling, he looks moody.

Im really in trouble aren't i?

He starts explaining to you that you don't need to fear and they brought you here because you interest them.

Still confused you just stare into his eyes. Tho you only see two white dots since his hat is covering his eyes with a dark shadow, barely making his green eyes seeable.

He notices that you're not responding so he puts his hand in your hair and ruffles it, in a way trying to calm you.

After that he tries explaining again, this time more forward.

"We have fallen for you."

"Grew an interest in you!"

"We love ya, it's that easy!"

The three of them spoke after each. You tried to gather your thoughts to respond.

"But...why me?"

"How could we not fall for someone like you? So caring,kind and loving. You have great humor and a beautiful smile too!"

You felt...flattered?

Moving on. After that they all try to make you feel home. They show you around, chat with you, eat with you, even buy you games and plays them with you (tho only 'the clown' has the patience for that. The other two suck at games and call them stupid)

They buy you things you like. Bring you whatever you'd like

They also call you different nick names like: Darling, My love, Sweets and many other, its just the main one for them.

They also get very, very jealous. When you seem to enjoy yourself with one, the other feels either left out or the need to barge into the two of you.

For this not to happen, The Criminal as the boss of them succeed to talk it out with them saying they can all spend quality time with you in different times.

When you can finally walk around without one of them following you or without a chain, you want to also go outside.

Not to escape, you just need some air and all, after being locked in for like a month.

You ask The Criminal for permission. He is worried that you will escape but you just have to explain to him that you do love them and won't leave forever. You wouldn't be so comfy and talk to them if you still wanted to run away.

After a good explaining and some nice words he finally let's you go. He worries the whole time but after like a good 20 minute you come back saying there's not much out there (nothing different to see).

He gives you a hug calming down saying he missed you. But now trusting that you come back you can go whenever ya want! Just please tell him

Important thing is, they don't do stuff that will make you upset/cry or atleast try really hard not to. Your first weeks trapped there was a nightmare. You snapped at any noise and was always expecting the worse. It hurt them to see you so sad and scared. They told you many times that they won't hurt you. The Clown and The Comedian thought that hugging you randomly or surprising you would help (it didnt), The Comedian was angry with them a lot and cus of this you saw him as an angry moody guy. In the end he was the one who made you feel the most safe. He usually tried to sneak into your room and calmly have little chats.

It was usually "Do you need anything?" "Are you hungry, thirsty?" "Feeling alright? You can tell me anything you know.."

At first you just shaked or nodded your head but it turned into responding in small words and soon it became actually talking to him.

You also didnt liked to make eye contact at first, just looking up for a second to see which one of them is bothering you this time.

They either talked about plans, jokes, or asked stuff about you

They are very clingy and love when your attention is on them

They will flirt, a lot. Even ask to shower with you to 'save water' (some of them dont even try to hide it with puns)

They can be lustfull and very possessive

They will protect you, always. Someone hurt you/made you feel awful? They get rid of em dw. Feeling sad or depressed? They will cuddle and listen to you, might aswell try to find a solution too

They love you endlessly ;]

For the angst/comfort part with The Criminal heres a little nothing!

THE CRIMINAL X READER

Oneshot, gn!reader, angst/comfort but mostly soft

He walked around the building, trying to find which room you were in. He missed you and wanted to spend some time with you. Only the two of you.

He got his hopes up too high. At one open door he heard laughing and he stopped, he went up to it and saw you and the other two playing games together.

One of them on your lap, the other hugging your neck cheering for you as you hold your controller in ur hand all smiley.

He felt happy to see you but also a strange feeling encountered him.

Jealousy

You were enjoying yourself with the other two so much. Have you forgotten about him? No, surely not. Right?

They all can spend time with you, of course they can. He was the one who even came up with that so why? Why do they have to be with you the same time he wants. It's been some time since he got to spend time with you.

Many feelings crushed trough him. Anger to sadness to agony to confusion.

He didn't wanted to come in, not to crash there 'little party'.

He left and went to his work room. He tried planning, writing, anything to get his mind off the matter. After hours he still hasn't left, still covering over his desk, pencil in hand with a paper full of drawings that are all scribbled over.

He then heard a knock on his door. Was it one of the Jokers? He didnt wanted to bother with them, not right now. He looked back and saw the door creak open, with you standing there.

"Is it okay to come in?" Your voice softened his heart.

"Come in Y/n. You're always welcome to give me a visit."

You smiled at him as you locked the door behind and came up to give him a hug.

"I wanted to see you!" You said still holding him.

At his surprise he couldn't react. Your not here to ask for something, you really didn't forget about him?

He put his arms around you and pulled you into his lap. Still quiet.

You petted his head and asked if theres something bothering him. He responded with a low grunt.

Even if he really wanted to he couldn't tell you that he got jealous over seeing you overjoyed with the other two. He feels a bit embarrassed, he is still unsure how you view him. What is he in your eyes? A leader? An angry man? Or just a criminal?

He hoped you saw some comfort in him, other than him being moody.

"Can we just lay down and cuddle? Like, just the two of us...alone."

He tried to make himself clear hoping you'd agree.

You nodded at him and gave a kiss to his cheeks. That one simple act made him blush a bit with a slight smile.

You guys walked to your own room and layed down to cuddle on the bed. He put his head into your chest, feeling the warm of your body and your hand caressing his back. It made him feel so loved. It filled him with joy. It calmed him down. He felt relief.

You told him yall can stay unbothered since the others are busy. You saw how his mood changed from quiet and grumpy to less quiet and a small smile on his face showing.

"Where you jealous?" You asked and he gave out a 'mmm' sound and you just giggled at it.

"You don't need to be. I'll always have time for you. I love ya!" You kissed his head and he couldn't help but smile at that. His head still in ur chest, he put his arms around you trying to pull you even closer.

He muttered "I love you too"

[bisnes-socks]

hello! I think you are very cool 👁👁 is it ok to send an ask? would love to know more about you 🫶 it could be anything: how you got into Käärijä? who's your favorite side character? do you think Bojan asks Jere questions about Finland or does he research on his own and then pretends like he always knew hoping to impress Jere?

i'm cool? 🥹 thank you, you are so sweet. but be careful anon, my ego inflates fast 😌

i will answer any and all questions anon, i would love nothing more, i love to yap 💚😌

i got into käärijä because well, i don't know if you are finnish or not dear anon, but the year 2023 was quite something here. i've always loved eurovision and listened to the new umk artists as soon as the songs came out. i immediately knew ccc was the song that we needed to send. i will say, i remember saying stuff like "oh idk if i'd listen to this on my own time, but it's perfect for esc" lmao. sooo that turned out to be not true. but the thing is, as much as i've always loved esc, käärijä and joker out are the only ones who have stayed with me beyond the contest!

i've always loved everything that falls under performing arts, as a passion, as a hobby, and also academically and professionally. and i just think he is simply one of the most fascinating performing artists this country has seen in a long time, possibly ever. the way his music comes with a whole concept, a visual world, a whole käärijä universe with characters etc. it's just incredible to me. he's super captivating both as an artist and a public person.

there are other reasons as well, more on like a personal level, things like where i was in my personal life in spring/summer 2023 and some other stuff, but the number one reason is that i'm just in awe of him as an artist. i also think he is much needed in finland, as a personality and as a character, in many ways.

hmmm i don't know if i have a favourite side character, but i'll say jukka bc he is a metal man and i know he's into some of my fave metal bands too.

and listen. LISTEN.

bojan gives me the BIGGEST besserwisser energy when it comes to finland it's so fucking funny but also so damn CUTE!!!! i will never ever ever in my life forget that joker out subs interview they did during the nordic tour and bojan was confidently correcting everyone's pronunciation wrong. how the others asked how to pronounce the letter Ä and bojan confidently and loudly went "it's E, E, right?" like my sweet puppy no 😭😭

AND I WILL NEVER forget him, at the backstage with jere getting ready to do ccc together, going basically like "but how do i pronounce this word jere i think you need to come here and look at this paper with me jerč 🥺🥺" oldest trick in the (girlfriend) book!!!!!!

so to answer your question anon, it's both. he will try to impress jere with his finnish knowledge in any group setting, so that jere's attention will be on him. but when it's just them? oh suddenly he needs help, and jere needs to explain everything to him. and be super close while he does so, actually. like holding hands. so that the next time they are in a group setting, bojan can casually drop some stuff jere taught him one night giggling under the blankets, so that they can once more annoy everyone with an inside joke.

anon i think you accidentally opened some sort of floodgates here, because i could go on. about every question. but you also said i'm cool so i'm trying to keep it that way.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Steph: Hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if all B's villains had backstories like the new Disney villain-centric movies?

Barbara: Explain.

Tim: Oh! I get it is like Riddler is evil because a riddle killed his mom!

Barbara: But wouldn't that make so he hated riddles?

Tim: Maybe he hated his mom? You don't know!

Duke: Or maybe he hates riddles and uses them to stop himself and protect the world for the evil he truly represents... Nah, that's stupid.

Barbara: No, no go on.

Steph: It was funny as hell.

Duke: The Riddler hating riddles was not the stupid conspiracy theory I thought I would make for Tim today.

Barbara: How many conspiracy theories did you even made for Tim?

Tim: Does the ones he made for Bernard count?

Duke: A magician never revels their secrets.

Barbara: You're not a magician.

Steph: He could be. Anyway before this ends up with someone giving Duke a box of magic tricks for begginers made for seven year olds *looks pointedly at Babs, she shrugs* my idea was that the number two died trying to save Two-Face's grandma from the other numbers.

Barbara: Okay, this one makes more sense. What about Scarecrow lost his puppie because of a horror movie?

Tim: You judge me but that means Crane would hate fear. So check mate.

Barbara: No, no, hear me out, he lost the puppie because the dog was too brave and stayed during the whole movie. If if had runned afraid it would have been fine.

Duke: My turn! I present all the books they had falled into Mad Hatter's dad killing him except somehow the Alice in Woonderland book that stayed in the shelve so he sweared to never read another book ever again?

Steph: Love it.

Cass: *was always there but hidden in the corner* Great. May I?

Duke, Tim and Steph:*surprised jump scare noises*

Babs: Please. Be our guest.

Cass: Killer Moth was raised by moths. Bruce accidentaly killed his third aunt as a child because he tried to pick it and show Alfred but was too strong.

Duke: You are a genius.

Steph: It's better than whatever official backstory he has.

Dick: *just came back from a mission* What are you guys doing?

Tim: Creating stupid rogues origin stories.

Dick: It seems fun. Let me try... huh... Oswald became Penguin because a Penguin flew through his window the moment he was considering becaming a criminal .

Damian: *was in the mission with Dick* May I try? Joker is a villain because his mother had depression and his jokes never made her happy.

Dick: Holy shit! Too heavy, lil D.

Duke: Sadge.

Tim: It looks like a soap opera plot.

Damian: I DO NOT watch soap operas with umi. SHUT UP!

Tim: Whoa there is a lot to unpack here.

Damian: Say one more word and I'll kill you Drake.

Duke: My bet is on Dami.

Cass: Bet Tim survives but barely.

Dick: Let's all calm down a bit. Maybe Joker became a villain because a mean kid said he wasn't funny.

Jason: *coming out of nowhere* What about Joker became a villain because he sucks?

Steph: That's just real life, Jay. We are trying to have fun here.

Jason: *rolls his eyes* Fine. Let me try again. All of B villains had their family killed by a bat. All of them. The same day, the same bat. Better?

Steph: Amazing!

Tim: Wait a second.

Damian: What now, Drake?

Tim: Bane has a Cruella type backstory!

Babs: *eyes getting huge* Holy shit he kindda has.

Cass: Explain.

Tim: When in the pit because a lot of irrelevant trauma things Bane had nightmares with a half bat half man creature attacking him so his solution was to crack B's spine in half.

Dick: Okay we need to make a Cruella Bane song.

Babs: Is not that close of a backstory.

Dick: So you don't want a Cruella Bane song?

Babs: Good point. I stand corrected.

[promise-keeper-papyrus]

A long time ago, the monster kingdom trapped under Mount Ebott fell into despair. The king and queen had lost two children in one night. The king decided it was time to end the suffering. But his way of doing it was cruel beyond words. Every human who falls down here must die. With enough souls, the king would become godlike and the barrier could be shattered. Then the king would destroy humanity and avenge his kingdom. The kingdom was eager for humanity's destruction...

But the kingdom seems to have forgotten that one of the king's children was human as well, just like we once were...

But it didn't matter to them that we were all scared children.

It didn't matter that we only wanted to go home.

It didn't matter whether we did nothing wrong or attacked in self-defense.

Because to them, we were the enemy.

The enemy of their hopes and dreams.

We were human and our existence was a crime to the monsters.

The monsters hated us in life, celebrated our deaths and treated our murderers like heroes.

Yet they say our species are the evil ones.

We can't destroy the kingdom.

But we have a connection to the beasts that ended our lives.

And we will make them all suffer for it...

I was quite patient

But I was also quite sick

The Queen can't save me

I was very brave

I was not killed by the guards

Some bones sealed my fate

.

The Joker tricked me

Pretending to be harmless

I thought he was safe

.

I had found Snowdin

But I didn't want more fights

Tired of fighting

.

It happened so fast

I didn't enter Snowdin

Too weak to fight back

.

Joker will not rest

Cowards don't deserve to rest

He will live in guilt

I had strong morals

My true blue integrity

Something that she lacked

'

I had worn a mask

When I first met the Hero

I thought she could change

.

I asked for her help

She guided me to the hotlands

I told her the truth

.

I thought we were friends

She stabbed me right in my heart

But I took her eye

.

She's not a Hero

She was only pretending

Villain in disguise

It's all that I had

My clever perseverance

It kept me alive

'

The Brain was a fool

Only thinks about herself

Despite her claiming to care

.

In life, we don't meet

Her traps are what ended me

Then she stole my soul

.

She had used my soul

For her dark experiments

On her own people

.

A selfish faker

That's all she ever will be

A cowardly fraud

I had once been kind

Too scared to befriend my foes

Especially not him

'

When I met the Bot

He threw endless bombs at me

Didn't stand a chance

.

He killed me for fame

Treated my death like a joke

An arrogant fool

.

But I will show him

What a true ghost would act like

He'll feel true terror

.

He's in denial

He pretends that I'm not there

But I will break him

I wanted justice

I trained behind the Ruins

The King was stronger

.

I woke up on flowers

The King looked at me and cried

He apologized

.

Don't know how to feel

He killed me, but lost so much

Should hate him, but can't

.

I'm still angry though

Pity is not forgiveness

I will not forgive

.

Already broken

The kingdom doesn't see it

The scars on his heart

[raonwashere]

*in a DJ khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE

This idea is more simplier then the last one but its basically a kaitou joker x civillian and aspiring magician reader‼️ Like when he was stealing a treasure one time at a party, one of the guests there catches his eye and he wants to know more about them. He talks to them while digsuised as a waiter and AND get this

THE READER IS A MAGICIAN

Er well they are aspiring to be one

So they try to show Joker this cool new card trick they just learnt and joker’s heart just melts like “omg omg so their pretty AND does magic tricks??”

So after the party, reader is kinda bummed out when they realized that the cute waiter just suddenly disspeared after joker arrived but then when they finally get home, they find a note by this person named ‘KJ’

Its obvs by Joker and so the phantom theif just sometimes sends love notes or flowers to reader. Hachi notices it and goes “ohh who are you going to send these to, Mister Joker?” Joker is just flustered and embaressed.

AAAA please my crush on Joker is unreal 🚶🏻‍♀️

UGHGHFFB I DON'T KNOW HOA LONG IBE LEFT THIS IN THE DRAFTS IM SO SORRYY 😭😭

I'LL DO MY BEST TO SERVE 👍

Apologies if there any errors !!

Stole my heart !

Kaitou joker x aspiring magician ! Reader

( imma assume she/her )

—

It was as any other night for the one and only Kaitou Joker and Hachi. Going on another heist to steal a treasure at a party. What wasn't Joker's goal was to get his heart stolen~♡

At this particular party , stood a magician amongst the crowd. Well , an aspiring magician but she's working on it !!! And at this particular party , Kaitou Joker stood amongst the crowd as a waiter. Though he couldn't help himself as curiosity got the better of him. He'd take glances , or even look at the tricks of the magician.

The magician had a cheerful smile and a beautiful voice. Not only that , beautiful face and well , Joker did find EVERYTHING about this magician absolutely perfect! From the way she did the tricks , to shuffling the cards. Oh he was definitely in love.

And of course , sooner or later the magician noticed that a certain some one was staring and looking at her. All she did was shoot a smile at him but can't help but think on how cute the waiter was. She soon walked up to the Joker and showed him a trick , which made a rose appear and she giving it to Joker.

—" a gift for an adorable waiter."

At an instant , he falls heads over heals like a highschool boy in love for this magician. He could feel himself overheat as he took the rose. The two accidentally brush fingers for a split second. He feels his heart pounding against his chest at like 16982382838 per millisecond. ( PLS I JUST RANDOMLY KEYBOARD SMASHED OK DONT THINK ITS SOMETHIGN ELSE )

Soon , the party had come to an end , Kaitou Joker managing to leave with his treasure. But he did leave a disappointed magician , who felt bummed out that he couldn't get the attractive waiter's number at least —!

—★

The dear magician returns to her home , to be greeted at the front door by a bouquet of flowers and a card at the side..

“ thank you , my sweet for the beautiful rose . I hope you love these in return. ”

— KJ .

As time went on , this was a repeated occurrence. It was unexpected , but a nice unexpected surprise ! The Phantom Thief would drop off flowers , gifts and other stuff.

And oh how he loved your genuine reaction as he watches you from a taller higher building .

“ you really do like her huh ?"

“ Maybe I do Hachi."

AAAAA IM SO SO SO SO SO SO X 92839283828328 SORRY THAT I DIDN'T UPLOAD THIS FASTER 😭😭

i hope you didn't starve much !! Hope you liked this :33

Reblogs are very much appreciated !

Hey! Check this post out !

[konsaiki]

Hear me out on the song, Going To Bed Now by Modern Baseball-- specifically it's lyrics and how it coincides with Jarlo!1!1!?1!!

(lyric "analysis", just hear me out okay ↓)

What do you give someone whose already got one of everything you thought would be the perfect accoutrement to their unnerving temperament?

Attention?

This specifically reminds me of Arlo, Arlo quite literally has everything. High authority, an amazing and overpowered ability, a good future set up for him, and great connections as a fall safe.

What could a lowly peasant being like myself—

This line reminds me of John when he was posing as a cripple for obvious reasons.

—offer a perfect, pleasant savior of humanity redeemer of us sickly, sinning hillbillies?

Attention.

Arlo is the King of Wellston. He's a respectable figure who has shown and proven himself of the title of "redeemer" (shown to the readers when he literally reformed the hierarchy Rei left behind) and he did do good as an authority figure when it came to nurturing and prompting order among his subjects (the student body).

Just one more resounding stab at all the others. You've almost blown your cover.

When John taunted Tanner which resulted in Tanner ganging up on John before the fight gets interjected by Arlo "saving" John. (Mind you, Arlo literally states after that scene that he saw John's eyes glow in his inner thoughts.)

But your tracks don't stick.

John's old personality/headspace when he was back in New Bostin compared to when he just started at Wellston.

One more bottle should do the trick, discreetly cleansing the remnants of every disdainful quip.

Ignoring the first line because I doubt they'd be shown drinking in canon; John attempts to forget Claire's words over and over again but he still remembers all her hurtful remarks and her lasting quips at him because of Keon.

We've found no escape route,—

Arlo literally did not find an escape when he realized how powerful John was during the ambush and the aftermath of it (Joker arc).

—but I know you well enough to hate you now. It's too bad you haven't figured that out.

Regressing here in terms of the timeline but when Arlo found out that John did in fact have an ability, he started to loathe John and resent him for not following the hierarchy and for hiding his ability.

What do you call someone who calls you out on DIY ethics that you don't embody—

When John calls Arlo out for no longer being in charge and how John is now Arlo's "superior" since he technically dethroned him at the Turf Field.

—as he drains his dad and mommy's monthly data plan?

An asshole with an iPhone.

Arlo probably owns an IPhone let's be real, but this line also reminds me of the fact that Arlo's parents are implied to be successful people along with the fact that Valerie is apart of the authorities, he's got great connections that he could "drain" aka use.

I'll admit, I'm in the same boat,—

Arlo and John were both crowned Kings when they were only in their second year of high school.

—caught between my adolescent safety net and where the world wants me to be.

Arlo is expected to be great with heavy expectations put on him as a God-tier (this is emphasized greatly by Valerie) and John is expected to be a lawful God-tier who behaves according to his level (that's where the readjustment classes come into play after he offends the law by abusing his power and authority).

But I'd never use that as an excuse to treat my friends the way that you treat me!

This line goes both ways. For John, he'd never betray Seraphina like that, he'd never drag her out nor would he ever ambush her. For Arlo, he'd never hurt Remi anonymously masked or crush the hierarchy over something so personal.

Just one more distorted, sad attempt at humor from the jagged, bleeding tumor in our throat.

When Arlo apologizes to John, John doesn't believe it or more so he doesn't accept it. He nearly treats it like a joke and perhaps maybe an insult as well.

Malignance at best,—

The start of their relationship can be described as a cancer to be fair, it's toxic and terminal; just like how the bond they could've had died when Arlo ambushed John.

—and quick to address yourself as anything other than what we've learned to expect.

When Arlo kept his title of King when John had long since dethroned him and the few instances where Arlo, as acting King, had to protect Seraphina and John when John was supposedly and technically the "Shadow King".

The patron saint of Good Goddamn, I'll kick myself to sleep before I shake that grimy, dirt-encrusted, arrogant hand!

When Arlo attempted to convince John out of beating up the Royals or when John tried making Arlo Seraphina's "bodyguard" of sorts (both interactions were them trying to negotiate or make a deal with one another).

So please, leave my house.

If we use house as a metaphor for "space", then we can say that they dislike eachother and would rather have a less than touchy relationship (like how each time they argue, they end up making physical contact one way or another).

[borzoilover69]

> BORZOI: READ HOMESTUCK LIKE ITS 2011 (PART 4)

(4256) THERE HE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️   ❤️  HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SCIENCE PROJECT! HELLO DEAREST!!  ❤️   ❤️  ❤️  WOJAK POINT WOJAK POINT THEYRE CONVERSING!

I'm throwing popcorn at my screen and laughing my ass off HEY COOLKID is this you? Hahah. Hehe. Hahaha. I'm not falling for your tricks cool kid.

BURST OUT LAUGHING. THE WAYYYS THAT THE JAKE AND DIRK GET JANES GOAT ABOUT THINGS GOOD LOOORD. Jane jabs at Jake at grammar and stuff, Dirk does it with Jane, just little consistencies in friendship is what they're so endearing for. They're like "uh huh. yep. you certainly used that word. mhm." *judging*. But in an ENDEARING way ok. The "that sure was a phrase you used".

This is important!! Also this reminds me you should probably go talk to Hal here it's trained off dialog from the comic and as of this post stands at a staggering 14.1k messages! I always like to see what people say to him (when they send it) and he can be really funny!

I haven't checked on him for a hot minute so the accuracy is to be determined but look! Here's him right now! Go talk to him!

4257

What is. What is blud doing in the background. I like to think seb has an inner monologue similar to dirk striders where hes like going "This thing needs to be moved. Geez Jane, this place is a mess." or "I'm awake and ready to serve fucker." You get the gist. Inner monologue going crazy as he works but being full aware ain't nobody hearing his cool wittisms. Janes expression is completely valid lmfao

Here is another moment of Jane casting doubt on her abilities. And here's where Dirk talks.. about his ancestor for the first time. You know what I guess I can bring up the post where I went over.. dirks jealousy of Dave and self internalisation of that hate? To be honest I'm surprised it got the attention it did. Its been something that I thought about for so long but I never brought it up because it felt and still does to a merit "taboo". Nobody really talks about what admiration can do on the flip side, how it can make you measure yourself up, make you feel attached in a way that provides you with a flip flop between intense aspiration to despisal and envy.

Except.. that isn't exactly true. As I pointed out before, Jane casts doubt on her ability to live up to her ancestors legacy, even if it's just a joking legacy.

You fancy yourself a SKILLED PRANKSTRESS, if by no other measure than lineage. Though at times you feel it's tough to fill those shoes when you are SURROUNDED BY JOKERS. Seriously, the shenanigans perpetrated by your pals make your old school japes feel KIND OF PEDESTRIAN SOMETIMES,

Poppop Crocker was a LEGENDARY COMEDIAN, following in the footsteps of his grandfather who of course was the greatest southern pranking legend of all time. One day, you hope to follow in poppop's too.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book.

Jane and Dirks parts are equal parts jokes as it is thinly veiled inner conflict of ideas they have about themselves and their role. Dirk is sort of ironic in how seriously he takes his irony. Which means it's not really as ironic as he thinks it is.

4258 goes hard.

TT: Ever hear of Con Air?GG: Nope.GG: Wait...GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's?TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.TT: Know those signature shades you see him wearing on magazine covers and stuff? Another prop. A gift from Stiller himself, I believe.

You know this seems like an old man gay yaoi issue. Now why EXACTLY dear sir.. were you obsessed with the very movie that your best friend had as a favourite? You know it's tragic. Alpha Dave SHOULDVE banged that old man.

You know one of you guys will have a field day analysing this piece of text and I know it, you know it, so put on your goggles spaceman.

4259

I'm not going to provide screenshots, but this is where Seb starts getting antsy, and Dirk says that Jane will be the leader of their group, drawing parallels to page 2682 where John and Rose are talking about their null session, unable to get any further.

TT: This session was never meant to bear fruit. TT: It's barren, so to speak. EB: that's a bit of a bummer! EB: i am still skeptical about that, though. TT: That's why you're our leader, John. EB: huh? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with. EB: that's stupid. EB: i'm not your leader, i am your FRIEND, there is a BIG difference! TT: Statements like that are also why you're our leader. EB: pff. EB: laaaaaaaame. TT: Yes, kind of.

But in Dirks, he chooses it because he thinks thats "the thing to do"

TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing. GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader. TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

This reads to me a lot as something he orchestrated, something he thought up to look cool, but what's the point of saying all this shit when you say afterwards you're just going to say that she's controlling none of it and really it's just you (which really, in the end it wasn't). Jane points out a pretty good point about there not being a true LEADER leader, and Dirk just plows on. He proceeds to have a long and eyeroll worthy emphasis about how much he can serve, how good he is at it, how Jane only has to call and he'll come to the rescue, not to worry at ALL. I mean i have to laugh. Here he is emphasising how much he can serve and he can't. He can't at all. Pushing someone in a direction does not always equal helping. His suggestions are befitting his aspect sure, but doesn't always mean it's the right solution!

4261-64 moving on.

The dads are always so incredibly endearing. ANd i love when janey does the lil. :| at people like giiirll me too! Absurd whimsy everywhere. Hey look at lil seb g-

4266 OH NO NOT THERE LITTLE SEB!! GOOD LAWRD.

Dad crocker is incredibly funny to me i will tell you why in a hot second

GET IUT JANE!! ALL OF THIS IS MALAAARKEY!! Even now quite a few of her friends are being INCREDIBLY silly to this girl from a normal childhood growing up in a normal time!! Egads!!

Reminds me of the times where I was travelling around ( i travel a lot majority of my friends expect im outside constantly) and they swore i just wasnt real because i show up in random places that contradict each other and go missing for weeks only to be found on some desert island hunting crabs.

But anyways

4271- 4273

Sorry i dont have much to say just imagine me with the goofiest smile on my face.. like <:}... Like ah.. yes.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes.

And also

Ironic purposes.

.... :} !!!

Look.. heehee... hes so :D!! His bes friend... :3 Silly..

4282 THEY DONE KILLED OFF THE MOST WHIMSICAL GIRL!

4283 ITS SO OVER.

[ END OF ACT 6 ACT 1 ] ?! Hey wait what does this mean for us. hey wait what does this mean hey wai-

[ screen cuts to BLACK with cue card with words "HUSSLE" in comic sans. ]

4299 panel goes hard? So does 4303

JADE: witch powers can teleport things, and fling things around through space at very high velocities JADE: all sorts of stuff! JADE: but to be honest, im not sure how much of that is attributable to inheriting becs abilities... JOHN: man, spacey witch powers sound a lot more versatile than my powers, frankly. JOHN: not that i'm complaining, because wind powers are still awesome. JOHN: but anyway, that is neither here nor there!

I'll leave you on this piece of dialog to consume. I'll see you all in the next part. As always anons and comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading!

[stuffymcstuffsworld]

Luck? Ha!

A grumbling Jazz and an exhausted Allocer trudge through the door. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why the pair is so upset. Or rather who made them upset.

A certain red demon was the main suspect on your mind. But still, you might as well find out what the menace did now. "What happened this time?" You asked.

"I don't know why we keep falling for his stupid tricks!!!" Jazz rants as Allocer flops down into your lap. You stroke the boys' mane as he joins in.

"He keeps using the same tricks, but even though we're aware of it, we still fall for it." "You'd think we'd get lucky and win once, at least."

"Luck? Ha!" You snorted. You couldn't help yourself. "Jazzy sweetie, luck is a crutch. It is a concept that far too many rely on."

"But doesn't o-" "Orias-san, your sensei can certainly will things in his favor thanks to his bloodline magic, but he doesn't use it often." You cut off his argument.

"His use of it can be extremely dangerous for himself. Depending on what he uses it for, he can suffer from side effects of his magic. Or as he calls it bad luck. The bigger the risk he takes, the stronger the consequences are for him later."

"Either way, how is it they keep winning? I want to wipe that smug look off that bastards face just once!" You chuckle as Jazz gets riled up over Furfur again.

"The answer is rather simple, my darlings." You say as Jazz sits next to you. What a cute pout. You mean brooding, yes, definitely brooding and not pouty at all.

Both boys look at you expectantly. "Information." Is all you say. Allocer tilts his head at your remark. "Are you saying he's more knowledgeable than us?"

You can't help but coo at his confused face. "Not exactly, my dear, you see... it doesn't determine who's smarter. No, it's the knowledge you do have and how you use it."

Both boys frown obviously, not understanding. "Hmm, how to explain..." You lean back against the couch, thinking. Your eyes spot a deck of cards on the coffee table. No doubt left by one of the other kids.

An idea comes to mind. "Let me try in a way you might relate to." You pick up the cards. Shuffling them as you begin to speak.

"What's the probability of drawing the Ace of spades out of a deck with no jokers?" You remove the jokers from the deck and draw the Ace of spades. "Normaly, it's one in fifty."

You set that deck down and grab the unopen deck on the table again. You removed the jokers. "But what if it's a brand new deck?" The boys eyes widened as you asked this.

"The positions of the cards in a new deck are typically identical, so that means if you take the jokers out and draw the card at the very bottom." You again show them the Ace of spades. "It's Ace of spades almost 100% of the time."

Jazz trembles in rage, realizing what you meant, and Allocer is clenching his fists. "That's right, my dears. Nobody said anything about it being a new deck. Rather... neither of you thought to ask."

You can see the wheels turning in both boys' minds as you said this. You set the cards down again. Driving your point home.

"Being in the "know" gives someone the power to turn the probability of winning from a 1.92% chance to a hundred. Evidently, it's often the more knowledgeable party that becomes the victor." You had given them much to think about.

"So, you were aware of him cheating. That's a good start. But until you understand the true aspect of whatever he convinces you to play, he is going to win."

Jazz is seething, and Allocer remains quiet, obviously trying to think about what you said. "So you just need to become the more knowledgeable party, my sweets." You patted both of them on the head.

"You really think we can beat him?" Allocer asked. "Oh, I know you can. It may take some time. But once you manage it once, you'll be able to do it again till you knock down that wall."

You chuckle. Impossible goals were something your children were overly fond of after all. It was only a matter of time before they bleed that greedy demon dry.

Elsewhere general Furfur sneezes. "Someone must be talking about me. I bet it's my cute underlings! I'll have to see them again soon!"

[carrie-tate]

sudden favorite(???) on this blog (I'm still surprised that anyone knows this fandom here)

Chris!

Well, or Christopher. One of the few male ocs that I have, posts with him can be found with the tag #kaitou joker oc and it is obvious what anime it was based on.

Well, it is obvious here that Chris is a phantom thief, like most of the characters in the canon. As a nickname, he took “March Hare” and made an image for this name. For him, this is all nothing more than entertainment, but he easily joined the general crowd of thieves due to a sense of competition.

So he met the Joker because out of spite he decided to try to steal the same thing that the Joker himself had already had his eye on. Some kind of vase, I don’t know. And for the first time he bypassed the Joker, only because of the effect of surprise and the fact that he had to “say hello” when he had already stolen the vase from under the Joker’s nose, leaving there some note with a mocking “Greetings from the March Hare.” From that moment on, they have a kind of competitive relationship (which in the world of phantom thieves can be considered a kind of friendship, it seems to me).

Speaking of the March Hare's tricks, they are quite simple, unlike the tricks of other thieves. You can literally count on your fingers. His shoes, with a single click of the heels, become rollers; with two clicks of the heels in a row, they become stilts. I won't explain how it works, because they don't explain to us how Image Gum works. Well, for emergencies, Chris also has smoke bombs to buy a couple of seconds to escape.

From a certain point, Chris decided to live on Sky Joker. What happened during the circumstances that Chris lost his previous home (in my head this is explained by the fact that his apartment neighbor simply did not keep an eye on the stove and burned the apartment), and the Joker witnessed this and reluctantly (I’m sure that influenced by the compassionate Hachi) invited Chris to live with him. After which he just can’t kick him out now x'>

As you already understand, I ship Chris and MMK… Just because I like MMK myself, yeah. And they obviously met at “The Phantom Thief Survival Battle”, where Chris participated with the Joker and his gang in trials. And around the same place he became interested in MMK.

(I'm imagining a scene where, at the end of the episode, where MMK is standing away from everyone, Chris at some point notices him, and waves with a friendly smile, causing MMK to wave back in a very puzzled way)

The Joker could even comment on the March Hare’s “falling in love”, because I’m willing to bet that before that Chris had a crush on both the Joker himself and Spade, but in the end everyone rejected him. BUT HE DOESN'T LOSE HOPE >xD

And it is obvious that after that Chris will look for moments to cross paths with MMK about their business. He was definitely the first one to ask MMK out.

So yes, on this blog MMK and Chris are now officially partners, uh huh

[allayessu]

Some dumb little Kaitou Joker headcanons of him as an s/o since I'm obsessed

- It took him some time to get comfortable with touch since he's not used to physical affection but once he trusts you enough he will latch onto you like a koala

- 100% kisses your hand/knuckles as one of his ultimate forms of love

- He does those cool card tricks to impress you when you're free even if it's just child's play to him

- He likes it when he gets to lie down on your lap. Bonus points if you caress his scar with your thumb

- If you can cook he begs you to cook something for him

- Likes to put his top hat on you because he thinks it's cute

- When y'all started dating he was not the kind of touchy-feely dude at first and he felt bad because he was not comfortable with being vulnerable around you yet until you slowly start to gain his trust and slowly he allows himself to let his guard down around you knowing that he's safe

- That being said, you were internally punching the air in tears when he asked if you'd like to cuddle with him. Tenfold when he wanted to sleep with you

- If you're sleeping together he definitely is the bigger spoon because it makes him feel like he's in control. Would have an arm securely wrapped around you while he plants his face into the top of your head

- ANOTHER side to this is when y'all try to have some romantic sleepy time together y'all just end up waking up with Joker's foot on your stomach and yours near his head

- On nights when he's not stealing something he'd just bring you to the Sky Joker to stargaze

- Sneaks to your place at night when you're about to sleep just so he could pull a Romeo and come up to your window with a flower bouquet in hand

- "Wanna see a magic trick? I can turn the color of your face in an instant!" *Kisses you* "see? your face turned red just like I predicted!"

- Sometimes when he sees you somewhere in public he'd drop an Advance Notice from the sky saying "Right now, I'll steal my No.1 treasure as soon as my target reads this." And he proceeds to literally snatch you from the sky

- Hardcore cartoon show marathons together. Same with video games

- Annoying you is his love language

- He doesn't fall he fucking bodyslams.

- Doesn't look like it but he takes your relationship veeeeeeeery seriously

- Clingy AS FUUUUUUUUCKKKK

- When he has no idea where to take you for date nights he just brings you to rooftops of high buildings and watch the city horizon under starry nights. He might even use Balloon Gum to get there while carrying you by the waist

- Kiss his eye scar. He loves it <3

- Would be the type to play fight no I don't take criticism. That being said he tends to do a lot of cute aggression like aggressively squishing your cheeks

- Best bf both boyfriend and best friend you can be sweet and intimate for the first second and the next you're roughhousing with you holding him in a triangle choke

- From what I've seen so far he doesn't exactly... respond to people calling him by Jack??? I mean Shadow and Rose called him Jack a few times and he just lets it slide. But I tend to see him being uncomfortable when being called Jack

- Unless... you're his s/o. And suddenly he loooooves the way your voice sounds when you call him Jack

- Playful bickering idc if you're dating this clown you're BOUND to have some friendly beef

- Y'all would parrot each other like if both of you see somebody you don't like y'all would make the EXACT same disgusted face. After that y'all proceed to gossip the shit out of them

- Overall he's not one to know how to be all romantic but definitely tries his best to properly love you <3