#don't fall for my Jokers Trick

[crazyboy3million]

Am I the first person to notice this lol

[ask-maxie-boy]

Goonion's Ghoul (Part 3) [dp x dc]

(A/N we switching the official name of the goonion to The First Universal Henchmans' Union. Just makes sense, thank y'all for the advice)

(Parts 1 & 2: here) (Part 4: here)

"Before we begin, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Mainly, can I ask for your preferred name?"

"Is that a joke?"

"Well, I figured it would professional to come out and call you Mr. Cobblepot, but seeing as we're talking about a... certain aspect of your enterprises, I wasn't sure you wanted your legal name in the records. The Union takes confidentiality very seriously."

Oswald Cobblepot looked down at the scrawny boy in front of him. This was the guy that had Eddie shaking in his boots? He tapped the ashes off his cigarette into the ashtray, and scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me, as long as you remember who you're talking to before you open your mouth."

"Of course! As you wish, Mr. Penguin."

There it was. That smile just a bit too wide, just like Riddler had said. Oswald Cobblepot wasn't an amateur, he wouldn't let something like that throw him off balance. "Alright, kid, lets cut to the chase. Whats this all about a Union?"

"Oh, Mr. Penguin, I had thought you heard! The First Universal Henchmans' Union is a recently formed collective of working class freelance goons, henchmen, and grunts of all different colors."

"Hweh! And what do I care if a bunch of simpletons wanna have a party together?"

The kid's head tilted, a sickening crack! ringing through the room. Just for a second, its eyes seemed to glow.

When you deal with bats for so long, little things like that don't sway you.

"If they're so little to you in your mind, then surely anything they might ask of you shouldn't be that hard to swallow?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop, as the thing's face tried to imitate inquisitiveness.

Good. The Penguin likes it cold.

"You can toss away the whole intimidation shtick, boy. I didn't get to be where I was by bending over to every ignoramus who thinks they can get me to do what they want."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you start to pay more attention to little expressions. The way the shadows suddenly fall onto the boy's blue-eyed, black haired face as he tilts his head downward makes The Penguin's flinch, just for a moment.

"I promise you sir, the Goonion is a very real, and very serious organization."

Cobblepot sneers, cigarette holder angling upward, as he taps his umbrella on the ground. "I pay my people well. My lounge is up to code, too. You don't have a damn thing on me, and here you are trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Well listen here, boy, you don't run an operation like this in Gotham without knowing fear. Fear is watching every shadow, looking for the pin pricks of light. Fear is the cracking of bones in the room over as you know the jig's up. Fear is watching Gotham's shadow spawn appear from the darkness, promising the only thing he wont do is kill you. You're way out of your league if you think I'll bend to such a cheap trick."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you learn to keep your eyes open. You keep track of exits, you look for little disturbances, keep your ears ready for even the softest sound.

You pay attention to that little voice that says you're being watched.

"Mr Penguin, do I need to remind you just who these 'simpletons' are? They're the men who carry your goods to and from your lounge. They're the ones who rig up the Riddler's bombs, traffic weapons in and out of the city. What happens when deals go south, when plans are canceled partway though?"

When you deal with Bats for so long, you watch the shadows. They practically live in them, entering and exiting like they're made from the stuff. Anything that might give away their position.

The shadows are dancing. Pulsing with something even darker than Gotham. He swears he can hear the sound of a bat gently hitting someone's hand. Distant laughter, not natural, almost forced.

"You know, Mr. Penguin, The Joker is easily one of our worst offenders. One of his more interesting complaints is the lack of security in regards to chemicals. See, he doesn't really care much if there's missing inventory, or what happens after his plan, as long as there's enough for what he needs." A vial flutters between its fingers, eyes almost bored as a forked tongue slides between sharpened teeth. "I wonder, where does it all go?

Eyes, green as emerald and as bright as the sun burn into Ozwald's. A grin stretches wider, wider, quite literally from one ear to the next filled with jagged teeth. "Do you want to find out?"

...~☆~...

"...My... smoking habits."

"Yeah, honestly. Its like you said. Most of your stuff is up to board, and your workers are fairly happy. Its mainly just an issue for henches with asthma, though secondhand smoke isn't something most people enjoy."

"You did all that over my cigarettes?!"

"its fairly understood that the Iceberg Lounge is not a smoke-free area, so you can do as you please there, but when it comes to abandoned warehouses or other places of business, we ask you please refrain from smoking."

"I can't believe this."

"For what its worth, the goons understand its part of your whole outfit, and are willing to compromise. We have a list of alternatives that visibly resemble a lit cigarette, and will fit in your holder, but wont actually release any smoke..."

@akikkobara @thegatorsgoose @addie-lover-of-stories @apointlessbox @screamingtofillthevoid @semiprofessionaldumbass @sailor-goddess @malice-of-the-sunrise @savaton @spikedlynx @emergentpanda-blog @starlightcat04

[sleepisoverrated]

My headcanons about Dick Grayson

Dick is touched starved.

Think about it he grew up in a circus, that he considered family, when he was little he always got physical affection and after he was adopted by Bruce he still got some(because lets face it Bruce was a softie for Dick when he was Robin) though a lot less because Bruce isn't a touchy person, but after being fired and going solo he had a lot less physical affection from his loved ones(especially when he had a "falling out" with the Titans and YJ). I think over time he became touched starved, thats why he gives bear hugs and is more affectionate to everyone. AlsoI think it got slightly better when he was Batman and had his Robin. That's why Damian is more clingy with him and allows Dicks affection (He also knows when not to touch)(Also you can't convince me Dick isn't Damians favourite person and that they don't share a father-son relationship (mentor-student, older brother-younger brother, hero-sidekick, hero-fan all of these also aply))

Dick is still angry with Bruce about a lot of things.

How he took away Robin. How he dared give it away without his notice or permission. How he made Robin into a mantle. How he found out he took in Jason and gave him Robin from a newspaper. How he failed Jason and then blamed him. How he didn't say that Jason died. How he wasn't even invited to his funeral. How he kept secret that Jason was alive. How he used a batarang on Jason, almost killing him again, instead of Joker. How he treated Damian when he first came here and sometimes even now. How he purposely separated him from Damian, because he was jealous (of their father-son relationship). How Bruce beat him into submission to join Spyral. How that wasn't the first time Bruce hit him. How Bruce never made a backup plan to extract him from Spyral. How Bruce forgot(got amnesia) him in Spyral. How he lied to his siblings that he went along willingly with it. (If you can't tell I like Angry Dick Grayson fics)

‌Dick and Slade are frenemies.

Basically as long as Dick doesn't interfere with his jobs, they are close friends, but as soon as he interferes they don't hold back from lethal force. I know Slade kidnapped him and kinda tortured him and Dick was obsessed with him to the point of insanity, BUT they both obsessed over one another so much that they know eachother the best and after a while they sorta lost their motivation to constantly fight(though spars are still fair game, the only rule is the other doesn't die) eachother. So now they meet up monthly to bitch and complain about their lives and gossip like old ladies, with some alcohol on a random rooftop. They are the embodiment of don't mix business with pleasure, when they meet on one of Slades jobs they pull out all stops and fight viciously, mercilessly and brutally, but the next day(night?) Slade comes over with the good whiskey and they spend their night watching the rom-coms, because Dick thinks it's funny to force the Terminator to watch them and because he's endlessly amused when Slade actually gets invested in it.

Dick Grayson taught Damian.

About the Romani language/culture, acrobatics, trapeze, circus, travel, all the recipes of Romani dishes that he knows, Romani stories, Robin tricks, stories, secrets (By Romani culture Damian is his son and they both decided to keep that a secret from the others, btw he also learned about Damians Arabic traditions, foods, language). I think that Damian values this more than his inheritance as an Al-Ghul and Wayne, because Dick chose to give his culture and inheritance to him, not because he was obliged to.

...So you seemed to like my rant's/headcanon's *throws cautiously some more headcanons in your direction*... have some more?

P.S. Someone pointed out that there are a lot of canon in the last post instead of headcanon's, but I read so little of the comics that I can't really tell whats canon and whats not.

[pricetagofficial]

How Far We Fall -D.G.

Warnings: Language, angst, mentions of death, child loss, therapy, trauma, attempted murder, poor Tim is caught in the middle of this

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.6K

A/N: You guys voted for the angst, well you got the angst. I don't actually remember how I came up with this. All I remember is that I wanted to write pain, and well here I am!

I am not sorry, you guys wanted this.

Dick couldn’t believe what he was looking at, here you were in front of him with a dagger to his younger brother’s throat, Tim’s throat, and a murderous look in your eyes. 

He watched as Robin squirmed in your hold, desperate to get away but one wrong move and his throat would be slit and there would be no going back. 

Batman tensed beside him, ready for a fight to save his youngest. Somehow, you had gotten past their security and wormed your way into their lives. Somehow, you fit in so well they didn’t even think twice before accepting you. 

That was their mistake. 

“Y/N–” Dick held a hand out, the glove of his suit palm up as if he was trying to convince you to come back to him. “Let him go, and we can talk about this.” 

“Talk? You want to talk?” you scoffed. “Fine then. Why don’t we talk about the reason why we’re here.” 

After years of planning, this was your moment to get back at the Batman. Back at him for everything you’ve lost because of him and his senseless no-killing rule. If he didn’t have that rule, you wouldn’t be holding his youngest at knifepoint threatening to take his son from him, like he took your daughter. 

How could he have been so blind? So smitten with you, the idea of who you were, Dick gave you everything including his secret identity without so much as batting an eye. 

“Y/N, please–” he pleaded, trying to keep his voice from breaking, “He’s just a kid–” 

“So was my daughter!” you screamed, voice echoing off the walls around you. “She was barely a year old and it’s your fucking fault!” 

Dick stopped in his tracks at your words, what were you talking about? After living with you for the last six months, he would have noticed if you had a kid. 

“What are you talking about?” Dick asked, his eyes not leaving you or Tim. 

Your jaw tensed as your eyes flitted past Dick and stared at the man responsible. “Two years ago, October 31st.” 

Halloween, two years ago? Dick looked behind him towards Bruce; he was in Bludhaven at the time, but he heard how bad it was. The Joker and Mad Hatter decided that blowing up a city block or two and dosing them with gas was a good trick-or-treat gift. Bruce struggled hard and kept Robin inside that night. He was about to open his mouth when Bruce spoke up. 

“You were there,” his voice rumbled through the air making your nerves stand on end. 

“Of course I was there.” you hissed. “I was trapped in the rubble for 4 hours, another 3 before they found her.” 

Dick didn’t miss the way your voice wavered, nor the way your grip loosened on the knife. Tim didn’t seem to either, before steadying himself on his feet. 

“I lost the most important person in my life because you can’t keep your fucking city in check.” Your grip on Tim’s cape tightened, pulling him back into you. “And now I’ll take someone important to you.” 

Batman let out an audible growl before Dick jumped between him and yourself. 

“Y/N stop! Think this through!” 

“I have thought it through,” you spoke, voice unnaturally calm despite the circumstances. “You were my original target, Dick.” 

Dick’s blood ran cold at your words, you were planning to kill him? 

 You laughed. “But somehow you wriggled your way into my heart and I couldn’t kill you, so I had to improvise.” 

“So you kidnap a child to prove a point?” 

“I’m fourteen,” 

“Not now, Tim.”

You hardened your gaze, “There’s no going back for me, Dick. This is where it ends.” 

Daring to take a step towards you, Dick pulled the mask off his eyes. 

“Nightwing–” 

“Bruce now is not the time.” Turning his attention back on you, Dick kept a calm look on his face despite the terror coursing through him. He failed one brother, he couldn’t fail another. 

“Come back with me. Let Tim go and we can go home and forget this ever happened.” 

You scoffed. “Do you think I’m stupid? I know how this works. The second I let the kid go, he’s going to go running to you while Batman leaves me a bloody pulp for the police to find.” 

Dick sighed, dropping his head before he looked at you once more. “You’re right, we can’t just forget this. But we can get you help, get you to the right people.” 

Pressing the knife to Tim’s throat, you felt him tense under your hold. “I’m not going to that hellhole you call Arkham.” 

Taking another step, Dick shook his head. “No, not Arkham. But the second you hurt Tim, I can’t stop them from sending you there.” 

Swallowing hard, you took a look around. What were you doing? Dick had a point, Tim was a child no matter how many times he pointed out to you how old he was. Were you really going to kill him because Batman was responsible for the death of your baby?

Meeting Dick’s eyes again, you could see why he removed the mask. It was so you could see the expression in them, the longing, the hope that you would let his brother go and take his hand. 

The blue in his eyes stood out in the darkness around you, almost matching the blue of his suit. After all this, did he really think the two of you could go back to what you were before? He really trusted you enough not to try something like this again?

“Trust me, Y/N. Please?” 

Hearing those words, you dropped the knife. 

Immediately, Tim darted forward past Dick to Bruce. Dick was on his knees, catching you as your weight gave in and you collapsed into his arms. 

Unable to stop the tears, you cried into Dick’s chest. “It’s not fair!” 

Running a hand through your hair, Dick held you as you cried. Placing a kiss on the crown of your head, he closed his eyes. 

“I know baby, I know it’s not.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months passed and true to his word, Dick got you the help you needed without going to Arkham. Your relationship was strained but on the mend. No matter how much he promised it would all be okay, you knew they wouldn’t forget let alone forgive the fact that you tried to kill Tim out of revenge. 

You lost count of how many times you apologized to him and Bruce, knowing it wouldn’t change a thing. Not for a while at least. 

Keeping your part of the promise, you sought help professionally at least once a week. Your session that afternoon wasn’t bad, but it was exhausting. Recounting the events of that Halloween to someone again drained all the energy you had left within you.

You were currently standing on the balcony of your apartment when you heard a soft thud behind you. Hearing the sound of light footsteps behind you, you felt a pair of hands rest on your shoulders. 

“Hey, what are you doing up this late?” 

Dick’s voice was tired but laced with worry, worry for you and your sleeping habits. He must have just finished his patrol for the night. 

Placing a hand on his, you smiled softly. It meant a lot that Dick stuck around when anyone else would have left you by this point. You felt a pair of lips brush your cheek before you were pulled back into his hold, warm and safe. 

“I’m okay, Dickie.” you hummed. “Just thinking I guess,” 

You didn’t have to see the look on Dick’s face to know that he was frowning. 

“You should be asleep,” he started. 

“I tried,” 

Dick sighed and rested his head on your shoulder. “I know it’s hard when I’m not there, but you have to try.” 

“Dick please, don’t start this tonight,” you begged, turning to bury your face in his chest. “I don’t have the energy for it.” 

Wrapping his arms around you fully, Dick held you close. The nightmares must have been bad this time if you were refusing to try again without him near you. Placing a kiss on the top of your head, Dick led you inside. 

“Alright, let me just get changed and we can catch some z’s together okay?” 

Nodding slowly, you let go of him but kept a grip on his fingers. The only time you let go of his hand was when he had to pull off his suit. Once he had sweats on, Dick pulled you along to the couch and rested you on top of his chest. 

Slowly you melted into his warmth as he turned on the T.V. letting the old reruns play as you listened to the sound of his heartbeat. 

Now that Dick knew the full story, he could see all the symptoms and signs you gave him from the very beginning. It was surprising how he missed them in the first place, with the way you left things around the place it was almost as if you wanted to be caught before it was too late. 

After a while, he heard the soft sounds of your breath against his bare chest and smiled softly. This was the only way you could sleep, with him next to you. Dick promised he was going to help you, and help is what you were going to get. 

Of course, Dick got the biggest lecture from Bruce, for the millionth time about why we don’t flaunt secret identities around. But Dick knew he could trust you. What he wanted to know was if you could trust him. 

Dick knew that death and loss made people do crazy things, he had been down that path before when his parents died, and again when Jason died. It was a hard one to come back from, but Dick planned on being there for you every step of the way, for as long as you would let him.

@bluejay-the-geek @niggxrette @offendedfishnoises @restwellsoon @littleredwing89

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

so sorry to take a break from politics for a second, but i need to rant about this new Joker movie.

please no. please please please no. for so many reasons.

the simplest of which is that the Joker is just such a tired story. it's been told so fucking many times. we get it! toxic masculine asshole falls into chemicals, turns into supervillain, manipulates and abuses his girlfriend, "sOcIeTy" yadda yadda fucking yadda. it was interesting for a while, but it's not anymore. there's no new way to tell this story!! it's been told!!

if you know me personally, you know that Harley Quinn is an icon of mine, and the movie Birds of Prey is extremely important to me. now before anybody comes at me about how "bad" a movie BoP was, i don't wanna hear it. you won't change my mind in thinking it's incredible. the only legit criticism i've seen has been badly veiled misogyny, or upset about the pacing (it was told by Harley Quinn! what did you expect?). but Birds of Prey was AMAZING because Margot Robbie fought HARD to FREE HARLEY QUINN. as the comics have made clear, Joker/Harley is one of the most toxic relationships to exist. Joker is manipulative, abusive, take all the credit for Harley's work, and overall, it's just a shitty relationship. but somehow the Joker movies have convinced the media that Joker/Harley is soooo romantic because Harley is so ride or die. Joker/Harley feeds into the "dark romance" genre. it appeals to men because Joker forces Harley into sexuality and Harley does whatever he says. women somehow got tricked into thinking it was romantic, too. and this pisses me off especially because in the comics!!! Joker/Harley is established to be abusive!!! and Harley gets out!!! and has a healthy relationship with Poison Ivy!!! and in BoP, Margot Robbie had to FIGHT the writers every step of the way to make Harley a) leave the Joker b) not go crawling back to him and c) be her own, fabulous person like she is in the comics. the point is, BoP and Suicide Squad 2 Harley is perfect, lines up with comic Harley, and is a huge role model for women, especially women leaving toxic relationships. and NOW this new Joker wants to throw all that away and make Harley that girl who bends over backwards to support Joker's abuse again! they want to undo all of that progress just to give us the same old "love story" that's really just a sick man preying on a girl (who was put in an uncomfortable position to turn him down because she was his therapist!!). why must we tell this same, tired story, WHILE throwing away all our progress with Harley that Margot Robbie pushed so damn hard for!

and finally, i'm just sick of how the audience receives the Joker. no matter how obviously Joker is shown as not a good guy or role model, teenage (and older) boys will ALWAYS view him as this hero who enforces toxic masculinity in a way that's cool enough that it sucks them in! the more we tell this fuckers story and glorify his shitty behavior (EVEN IF THE MOVIE IS TRYING TO BE SATIRE THAT CRITICIZES HIS BEHAVIOR), the more boys and men will insist that he's a role model and let their own toxic masculinity and woman hating grow and feed off him. THE JOKER IS NOT A FEEL GOOD STORY!! you're not supposed to hear the Joker talk and actually agree with him!! but just like American Psycho, these men will take a piece of media telling a CAUTIONARY TALE/SATIRICAL PIECE about toxic masculinity and make it their whole personality and use it to justify their own shitty behavior.

Gaga, please. I adore you, but i expected more from you. we do not need another Joker. i'm not prepared to see the halloween costumes of girls who are genuinely tricked into thinking this story is romantic. i'm not ready for the boys and men imitating the Joker again. i don't want to hear the same damn story again and again and again when the original point has been lost and misconceived dozens of remakes ago. why.

[montimer]

Howdy ! Okay I just read your post about the Three Jokers and gosh how I’m so happy to see that you wrote for them ;-; I feel like they’re quite niche- so- if you ever feel inspired ! I would love more interactions with them-! Either the way each one of them (or in group) acts and develops feelings for the reader or something like that- (maybe some angst to comfort for the Criminal as well-? Nah I’m sorry I have so many ideas about these 3 dorks xd) thank you again for making me happy with your works ! You rock !

AGWHBSZMAjz thank you sm :]

I have so many ideas w em im happy that u like my writing‼️

The three jokers x reader

Gn!reader

I'll try an all in one! This is gonna be a long one. I will do them separately in another one!

The clown >:D The comedian >:} The Criminal >:{

Okay so first things first. How they fell for you.

'The Comedian' was the first one to take a notice in you. You might be a hero, or villain. Even just a random citizen. He will talk to you and annoy you all night. His face is covered with his hat and he deepened his voice incase you are indeed a hero just out of suit. Yes he will know its you, he did all his researched and even followed you home, he calls this "Just happened to walk the same way a bit close behind".

In the night he'll joke and show you tricks. Even a smile can make him a happier men that day. Especially if you talk with him.

'The Clown' will join him soon enough. Saying "Sharing is caring". He absolutely adores you.

'The Comedian' knew about you for a long time. He just wanted you all for himself. But now that the two of them grew interested in you he believes its the best to confront you.

With good old kidnapping of course. They will lead you into an alley way, then gather around you, one of them spraying you with sleeping gas. "Im sorry, its the only way we can do this without trouble. But don't worry you're in good hands" The Criminal says before you fall asleep.

You woke up in a bed. One of your hand chained to it. You obviously panic. After hearing you wake up The Comedian comes in.

"Oh yeah, sorry. We had to make sure you don't run away... But worry not darling, the sooner you realize why you're here the sooner you can walk around freely!" You gave him a confused face and he just giggles seeing your surprised face.

He goes out and soon comes back with the others, now all three in the room as you. And you sit there scared.

Do i own them money? Is the first thought that comes to your mind.

One of them kneels down so his face is directly looking into yours. As that happens you notice something strange. He isn't smiling, he looks moody.

Im really in trouble aren't i?

He starts explaining to you that you don't need to fear and they brought you here because you interest them.

Still confused you just stare into his eyes. Tho you only see two white dots since his hat is covering his eyes with a dark shadow, barely making his green eyes seeable.

He notices that you're not responding so he puts his hand in your hair and ruffles it, in a way trying to calm you.

After that he tries explaining again, this time more forward.

"We have fallen for you."

"Grew an interest in you!"

"We love ya, it's that easy!"

The three of them spoke after each. You tried to gather your thoughts to respond.

"But...why me?"

"How could we not fall for someone like you? So caring,kind and loving. You have great humor and a beautiful smile too!"

You felt...flattered?

Moving on. After that they all try to make you feel home. They show you around, chat with you, eat with you, even buy you games and plays them with you (tho only 'the clown' has the patience for that. The other two suck at games and call them stupid)

They buy you things you like. Bring you whatever you'd like

They also call you different nick names like: Darling, My love, Sweets and many other, its just the main one for them.

They also get very, very jealous. When you seem to enjoy yourself with one, the other feels either left out or the need to barge into the two of you.

For this not to happen, The Criminal as the boss of them succeed to talk it out with them saying they can all spend quality time with you in different times.

When you can finally walk around without one of them following you or without a chain, you want to also go outside.

Not to escape, you just need some air and all, after being locked in for like a month.

You ask The Criminal for permission. He is worried that you will escape but you just have to explain to him that you do love them and won't leave forever. You wouldn't be so comfy and talk to them if you still wanted to run away.

After a good explaining and some nice words he finally let's you go. He worries the whole time but after like a good 20 minute you come back saying there's not much out there (nothing different to see).

He gives you a hug calming down saying he missed you. But now trusting that you come back you can go whenever ya want! Just please tell him

Important thing is, they don't do stuff that will make you upset/cry or atleast try really hard not to. Your first weeks trapped there was a nightmare. You snapped at any noise and was always expecting the worse. It hurt them to see you so sad and scared. They told you many times that they won't hurt you. The Clown and The Comedian thought that hugging you randomly or surprising you would help (it didnt), The Comedian was angry with them a lot and cus of this you saw him as an angry moody guy. In the end he was the one who made you feel the most safe. He usually tried to sneak into your room and calmly have little chats.

It was usually "Do you need anything?" "Are you hungry, thirsty?" "Feeling alright? You can tell me anything you know.."

At first you just shaked or nodded your head but it turned into responding in small words and soon it became actually talking to him.

You also didnt liked to make eye contact at first, just looking up for a second to see which one of them is bothering you this time.

They either talked about plans, jokes, or asked stuff about you

They are very clingy and love when your attention is on them

They will flirt, a lot. Even ask to shower with you to 'save water' (some of them dont even try to hide it with puns)

They can be lustfull and very possessive

They will protect you, always. Someone hurt you/made you feel awful? They get rid of em dw. Feeling sad or depressed? They will cuddle and listen to you, might aswell try to find a solution too

They love you endlessly ;]

For the angst/comfort part with The Criminal heres a little nothing!

THE CRIMINAL X READER

Oneshot, gn!reader, angst/comfort but mostly soft

He walked around the building, trying to find which room you were in. He missed you and wanted to spend some time with you. Only the two of you.

He got his hopes up too high. At one open door he heard laughing and he stopped, he went up to it and saw you and the other two playing games together.

One of them on your lap, the other hugging your neck cheering for you as you hold your controller in ur hand all smiley.

He felt happy to see you but also a strange feeling encountered him.

Jealousy

You were enjoying yourself with the other two so much. Have you forgotten about him? No, surely not. Right?

They all can spend time with you, of course they can. He was the one who even came up with that so why? Why do they have to be with you the same time he wants. It's been some time since he got to spend time with you.

Many feelings crushed trough him. Anger to sadness to agony to confusion.

He didn't wanted to come in, not to crash there 'little party'.

He left and went to his work room. He tried planning, writing, anything to get his mind off the matter. After hours he still hasn't left, still covering over his desk, pencil in hand with a paper full of drawings that are all scribbled over.

He then heard a knock on his door. Was it one of the Jokers? He didnt wanted to bother with them, not right now. He looked back and saw the door creak open, with you standing there.

"Is it okay to come in?" Your voice softened his heart.

"Come in Y/n. You're always welcome to give me a visit."

You smiled at him as you locked the door behind and came up to give him a hug.

"I wanted to see you!" You said still holding him.

At his surprise he couldn't react. Your not here to ask for something, you really didn't forget about him?

He put his arms around you and pulled you into his lap. Still quiet.

You petted his head and asked if theres something bothering him. He responded with a low grunt.

Even if he really wanted to he couldn't tell you that he got jealous over seeing you overjoyed with the other two. He feels a bit embarrassed, he is still unsure how you view him. What is he in your eyes? A leader? An angry man? Or just a criminal?

He hoped you saw some comfort in him, other than him being moody.

"Can we just lay down and cuddle? Like, just the two of us...alone."

He tried to make himself clear hoping you'd agree.

You nodded at him and gave a kiss to his cheeks. That one simple act made him blush a bit with a slight smile.

You guys walked to your own room and layed down to cuddle on the bed. He put his head into your chest, feeling the warm of your body and your hand caressing his back. It made him feel so loved. It filled him with joy. It calmed him down. He felt relief.

You told him yall can stay unbothered since the others are busy. You saw how his mood changed from quiet and grumpy to less quiet and a small smile on his face showing.

"Where you jealous?" You asked and he gave out a 'mmm' sound and you just giggled at it.

"You don't need to be. I'll always have time for you. I love ya!" You kissed his head and he couldn't help but smile at that. His head still in ur chest, he put his arms around you trying to pull you even closer.

He muttered "I love you too"

[bisnes-socks]

hello! I think you are very cool 👁👁 is it ok to send an ask? would love to know more about you 🫶 it could be anything: how you got into Käärijä? who's your favorite side character? do you think Bojan asks Jere questions about Finland or does he research on his own and then pretends like he always knew hoping to impress Jere?

i'm cool? 🥹 thank you, you are so sweet. but be careful anon, my ego inflates fast 😌

i will answer any and all questions anon, i would love nothing more, i love to yap 💚😌

i got into käärijä because well, i don't know if you are finnish or not dear anon, but the year 2023 was quite something here. i've always loved eurovision and listened to the new umk artists as soon as the songs came out. i immediately knew ccc was the song that we needed to send. i will say, i remember saying stuff like "oh idk if i'd listen to this on my own time, but it's perfect for esc" lmao. sooo that turned out to be not true. but the thing is, as much as i've always loved esc, käärijä and joker out are the only ones who have stayed with me beyond the contest!

i've always loved everything that falls under performing arts, as a passion, as a hobby, and also academically and professionally. and i just think he is simply one of the most fascinating performing artists this country has seen in a long time, possibly ever. the way his music comes with a whole concept, a visual world, a whole käärijä universe with characters etc. it's just incredible to me. he's super captivating both as an artist and a public person.

there are other reasons as well, more on like a personal level, things like where i was in my personal life in spring/summer 2023 and some other stuff, but the number one reason is that i'm just in awe of him as an artist. i also think he is much needed in finland, as a personality and as a character, in many ways.

hmmm i don't know if i have a favourite side character, but i'll say jukka bc he is a metal man and i know he's into some of my fave metal bands too.

and listen. LISTEN.

bojan gives me the BIGGEST besserwisser energy when it comes to finland it's so fucking funny but also so damn CUTE!!!! i will never ever ever in my life forget that joker out subs interview they did during the nordic tour and bojan was confidently correcting everyone's pronunciation wrong. how the others asked how to pronounce the letter Ä and bojan confidently and loudly went "it's E, E, right?" like my sweet puppy no 😭😭

AND I WILL NEVER forget him, at the backstage with jere getting ready to do ccc together, going basically like "but how do i pronounce this word jere i think you need to come here and look at this paper with me jerč 🥺🥺" oldest trick in the (girlfriend) book!!!!!!

so to answer your question anon, it's both. he will try to impress jere with his finnish knowledge in any group setting, so that jere's attention will be on him. but when it's just them? oh suddenly he needs help, and jere needs to explain everything to him. and be super close while he does so, actually. like holding hands. so that the next time they are in a group setting, bojan can casually drop some stuff jere taught him one night giggling under the blankets, so that they can once more annoy everyone with an inside joke.

anon i think you accidentally opened some sort of floodgates here, because i could go on. about every question. but you also said i'm cool so i'm trying to keep it that way.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Steph: Hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if all B's villains had backstories like the new Disney villain-centric movies?

Barbara: Explain.

Tim: Oh! I get it is like Riddler is evil because a riddle killed his mom!

Barbara: But wouldn't that make so he hated riddles?

Tim: Maybe he hated his mom? You don't know!

Duke: Or maybe he hates riddles and uses them to stop himself and protect the world for the evil he truly represents... Nah, that's stupid.

Barbara: No, no go on.

Steph: It was funny as hell.

Duke: The Riddler hating riddles was not the stupid conspiracy theory I thought I would make for Tim today.

Barbara: How many conspiracy theories did you even made for Tim?

Tim: Does the ones he made for Bernard count?

Duke: A magician never revels their secrets.

Barbara: You're not a magician.

Steph: He could be. Anyway before this ends up with someone giving Duke a box of magic tricks for begginers made for seven year olds *looks pointedly at Babs, she shrugs* my idea was that the number two died trying to save Two-Face's grandma from the other numbers.

Barbara: Okay, this one makes more sense. What about Scarecrow lost his puppie because of a horror movie?

Tim: You judge me but that means Crane would hate fear. So check mate.

Barbara: No, no, hear me out, he lost the puppie because the dog was too brave and stayed during the whole movie. If if had runned afraid it would have been fine.

Duke: My turn! I present all the books they had falled into Mad Hatter's dad killing him except somehow the Alice in Woonderland book that stayed in the shelve so he sweared to never read another book ever again?

Steph: Love it.

Cass: *was always there but hidden in the corner* Great. May I?

Duke, Tim and Steph:*surprised jump scare noises*

Babs: Please. Be our guest.

Cass: Killer Moth was raised by moths. Bruce accidentaly killed his third aunt as a child because he tried to pick it and show Alfred but was too strong.

Duke: You are a genius.

Steph: It's better than whatever official backstory he has.

Dick: *just came back from a mission* What are you guys doing?

Tim: Creating stupid rogues origin stories.

Dick: It seems fun. Let me try... huh... Oswald became Penguin because a Penguin flew through his window the moment he was considering becaming a criminal .

Damian: *was in the mission with Dick* May I try? Joker is a villain because his mother had depression and his jokes never made her happy.

Dick: Holy shit! Too heavy, lil D.

Duke: Sadge.

Tim: It looks like a soap opera plot.

Damian: I DO NOT watch soap operas with umi. SHUT UP!

Tim: Whoa there is a lot to unpack here.

Damian: Say one more word and I'll kill you Drake.

Duke: My bet is on Dami.

Cass: Bet Tim survives but barely.

Dick: Let's all calm down a bit. Maybe Joker became a villain because a mean kid said he wasn't funny.

Jason: *coming out of nowhere* What about Joker became a villain because he sucks?

Steph: That's just real life, Jay. We are trying to have fun here.

Jason: *rolls his eyes* Fine. Let me try again. All of B villains had their family killed by a bat. All of them. The same day, the same bat. Better?

Steph: Amazing!

Tim: Wait a second.

Damian: What now, Drake?

Tim: Bane has a Cruella type backstory!

Babs: *eyes getting huge* Holy shit he kindda has.

Cass: Explain.

Tim: When in the pit because a lot of irrelevant trauma things Bane had nightmares with a half bat half man creature attacking him so his solution was to crack B's spine in half.

Dick: Okay we need to make a Cruella Bane song.

Babs: Is not that close of a backstory.

Dick: So you don't want a Cruella Bane song?

Babs: Good point. I stand corrected.

[promise-keeper-papyrus]

A long time ago, the monster kingdom trapped under Mount Ebott fell into despair. The king and queen had lost two children in one night. The king decided it was time to end the suffering. But his way of doing it was cruel beyond words. Every human who falls down here must die. With enough souls, the king would become godlike and the barrier could be shattered. Then the king would destroy humanity and avenge his kingdom. The kingdom was eager for humanity's destruction...

But the kingdom seems to have forgotten that one of the king's children was human as well, just like we once were...

But it didn't matter to them that we were all scared children.

It didn't matter that we only wanted to go home.

It didn't matter whether we did nothing wrong or attacked in self-defense.

Because to them, we were the enemy.

The enemy of their hopes and dreams.

We were human and our existence was a crime to the monsters.

The monsters hated us in life, celebrated our deaths and treated our murderers like heroes.

Yet they say our species are the evil ones.

We can't destroy the kingdom.

But we have a connection to the beasts that ended our lives.

And we will make them all suffer for it...

I was quite patient

But I was also quite sick

The Queen can't save me

I was very brave

I was not killed by the guards

Some bones sealed my fate

.

The Joker tricked me

Pretending to be harmless

I thought he was safe

.

I had found Snowdin

But I didn't want more fights

Tired of fighting

.

It happened so fast

I didn't enter Snowdin

Too weak to fight back

.

Joker will not rest

Cowards don't deserve to rest

He will live in guilt

I had strong morals

My true blue integrity

Something that she lacked

'

I had worn a mask

When I first met the Hero

I thought she could change

.

I asked for her help

She guided me to the hotlands

I told her the truth

.

I thought we were friends

She stabbed me right in my heart

But I took her eye

.

She's not a Hero

She was only pretending

Villain in disguise

It's all that I had

My clever perseverance

It kept me alive

'

The Brain was a fool

Only thinks about herself

Despite her claiming to care

.

In life, we don't meet

Her traps are what ended me

Then she stole my soul

.

She had used my soul

For her dark experiments

On her own people

.

A selfish faker

That's all she ever will be

A cowardly fraud

I had once been kind

Too scared to befriend my foes

Especially not him

'

When I met the Bot

He threw endless bombs at me

Didn't stand a chance

.

He killed me for fame

Treated my death like a joke

An arrogant fool

.

But I will show him

What a true ghost would act like

He'll feel true terror

.

He's in denial

He pretends that I'm not there

But I will break him

I wanted justice

I trained behind the Ruins

The King was stronger

.

I woke up on flowers

The King looked at me and cried

He apologized

.

Don't know how to feel

He killed me, but lost so much

Should hate him, but can't

.

I'm still angry though

Pity is not forgiveness

I will not forgive

.

Already broken

The kingdom doesn't see it

The scars on his heart

[raonwashere]

*in a DJ khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE

This idea is more simplier then the last one but its basically a kaitou joker x civillian and aspiring magician reader‼️ Like when he was stealing a treasure one time at a party, one of the guests there catches his eye and he wants to know more about them. He talks to them while digsuised as a waiter and AND get this

THE READER IS A MAGICIAN

Er well they are aspiring to be one

So they try to show Joker this cool new card trick they just learnt and joker’s heart just melts like “omg omg so their pretty AND does magic tricks??”

So after the party, reader is kinda bummed out when they realized that the cute waiter just suddenly disspeared after joker arrived but then when they finally get home, they find a note by this person named ‘KJ’

Its obvs by Joker and so the phantom theif just sometimes sends love notes or flowers to reader. Hachi notices it and goes “ohh who are you going to send these to, Mister Joker?” Joker is just flustered and embaressed.

AAAA please my crush on Joker is unreal 🚶🏻‍♀️

UGHGHFFB I DON'T KNOW HOA LONG IBE LEFT THIS IN THE DRAFTS IM SO SORRYY 😭😭

I'LL DO MY BEST TO SERVE 👍

Apologies if there any errors !!

Stole my heart !

Kaitou joker x aspiring magician ! Reader

( imma assume she/her )

—

It was as any other night for the one and only Kaitou Joker and Hachi. Going on another heist to steal a treasure at a party. What wasn't Joker's goal was to get his heart stolen~♡

At this particular party , stood a magician amongst the crowd. Well , an aspiring magician but she's working on it !!! And at this particular party , Kaitou Joker stood amongst the crowd as a waiter. Though he couldn't help himself as curiosity got the better of him. He'd take glances , or even look at the tricks of the magician.

The magician had a cheerful smile and a beautiful voice. Not only that , beautiful face and well , Joker did find EVERYTHING about this magician absolutely perfect! From the way she did the tricks , to shuffling the cards. Oh he was definitely in love.

And of course , sooner or later the magician noticed that a certain some one was staring and looking at her. All she did was shoot a smile at him but can't help but think on how cute the waiter was. She soon walked up to the Joker and showed him a trick , which made a rose appear and she giving it to Joker.

—" a gift for an adorable waiter."

At an instant , he falls heads over heals like a highschool boy in love for this magician. He could feel himself overheat as he took the rose. The two accidentally brush fingers for a split second. He feels his heart pounding against his chest at like 16982382838 per millisecond. ( PLS I JUST RANDOMLY KEYBOARD SMASHED OK DONT THINK ITS SOMETHIGN ELSE )

Soon , the party had come to an end , Kaitou Joker managing to leave with his treasure. But he did leave a disappointed magician , who felt bummed out that he couldn't get the attractive waiter's number at least —!

—★

The dear magician returns to her home , to be greeted at the front door by a bouquet of flowers and a card at the side..

“ thank you , my sweet for the beautiful rose . I hope you love these in return. ”

— KJ .

As time went on , this was a repeated occurrence. It was unexpected , but a nice unexpected surprise ! The Phantom Thief would drop off flowers , gifts and other stuff.

And oh how he loved your genuine reaction as he watches you from a taller higher building .

“ you really do like her huh ?"

“ Maybe I do Hachi."

AAAAA IM SO SO SO SO SO SO X 92839283828328 SORRY THAT I DIDN'T UPLOAD THIS FASTER 😭😭

i hope you didn't starve much !! Hope you liked this :33

Reblogs are very much appreciated !

Hey! Check this post out !

[stuffymcstuffsworld]

Luck? Ha!

A grumbling Jazz and an exhausted Allocer trudge through the door. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why the pair is so upset. Or rather who made them upset.

A certain red demon was the main suspect on your mind. But still, you might as well find out what the menace did now. "What happened this time?" You asked.

"I don't know why we keep falling for his stupid tricks!!!" Jazz rants as Allocer flops down into your lap. You stroke the boys' mane as he joins in.

"He keeps using the same tricks, but even though we're aware of it, we still fall for it." "You'd think we'd get lucky and win once, at least."

"Luck? Ha!" You snorted. You couldn't help yourself. "Jazzy sweetie, luck is a crutch. It is a concept that far too many rely on."

"But doesn't o-" "Orias-san, your sensei can certainly will things in his favor thanks to his bloodline magic, but he doesn't use it often." You cut off his argument.

"His use of it can be extremely dangerous for himself. Depending on what he uses it for, he can suffer from side effects of his magic. Or as he calls it bad luck. The bigger the risk he takes, the stronger the consequences are for him later."

"Either way, how is it they keep winning? I want to wipe that smug look off that bastards face just once!" You chuckle as Jazz gets riled up over Furfur again.

"The answer is rather simple, my darlings." You say as Jazz sits next to you. What a cute pout. You mean brooding, yes, definitely brooding and not pouty at all.

Both boys look at you expectantly. "Information." Is all you say. Allocer tilts his head at your remark. "Are you saying he's more knowledgeable than us?"

You can't help but coo at his confused face. "Not exactly, my dear, you see... it doesn't determine who's smarter. No, it's the knowledge you do have and how you use it."

Both boys frown obviously, not understanding. "Hmm, how to explain..." You lean back against the couch, thinking. Your eyes spot a deck of cards on the coffee table. No doubt left by one of the other kids.

An idea comes to mind. "Let me try in a way you might relate to." You pick up the cards. Shuffling them as you begin to speak.

"What's the probability of drawing the Ace of spades out of a deck with no jokers?" You remove the jokers from the deck and draw the Ace of spades. "Normaly, it's one in fifty."

You set that deck down and grab the unopen deck on the table again. You removed the jokers. "But what if it's a brand new deck?" The boys eyes widened as you asked this.

"The positions of the cards in a new deck are typically identical, so that means if you take the jokers out and draw the card at the very bottom." You again show them the Ace of spades. "It's Ace of spades almost 100% of the time."

Jazz trembles in rage, realizing what you meant, and Allocer is clenching his fists. "That's right, my dears. Nobody said anything about it being a new deck. Rather... neither of you thought to ask."

You can see the wheels turning in both boys' minds as you said this. You set the cards down again. Driving your point home.

"Being in the "know" gives someone the power to turn the probability of winning from a 1.92% chance to a hundred. Evidently, it's often the more knowledgeable party that becomes the victor." You had given them much to think about.

"So, you were aware of him cheating. That's a good start. But until you understand the true aspect of whatever he convinces you to play, he is going to win."

Jazz is seething, and Allocer remains quiet, obviously trying to think about what you said. "So you just need to become the more knowledgeable party, my sweets." You patted both of them on the head.

"You really think we can beat him?" Allocer asked. "Oh, I know you can. It may take some time. But once you manage it once, you'll be able to do it again till you knock down that wall."

You chuckle. Impossible goals were something your children were overly fond of after all. It was only a matter of time before they bleed that greedy demon dry.

Elsewhere general Furfur sneezes. "Someone must be talking about me. I bet it's my cute underlings! I'll have to see them again soon!"

[carrie-tate]

sudden favorite(???) on this blog (I'm still surprised that anyone knows this fandom here)

Chris!

Well, or Christopher. One of the few male ocs that I have, posts with him can be found with the tag #kaitou joker oc and it is obvious what anime it was based on.

Well, it is obvious here that Chris is a phantom thief, like most of the characters in the canon. As a nickname, he took “March Hare” and made an image for this name. For him, this is all nothing more than entertainment, but he easily joined the general crowd of thieves due to a sense of competition.

So he met the Joker because out of spite he decided to try to steal the same thing that the Joker himself had already had his eye on. Some kind of vase, I don’t know. And for the first time he bypassed the Joker, only because of the effect of surprise and the fact that he had to “say hello” when he had already stolen the vase from under the Joker’s nose, leaving there some note with a mocking “Greetings from the March Hare.” From that moment on, they have a kind of competitive relationship (which in the world of phantom thieves can be considered a kind of friendship, it seems to me).

Speaking of the March Hare's tricks, they are quite simple, unlike the tricks of other thieves. You can literally count on your fingers. His shoes, with a single click of the heels, become rollers; with two clicks of the heels in a row, they become stilts. I won't explain how it works, because they don't explain to us how Image Gum works. Well, for emergencies, Chris also has smoke bombs to buy a couple of seconds to escape.

From a certain point, Chris decided to live on Sky Joker. What happened during the circumstances that Chris lost his previous home (in my head this is explained by the fact that his apartment neighbor simply did not keep an eye on the stove and burned the apartment), and the Joker witnessed this and reluctantly (I’m sure that influenced by the compassionate Hachi) invited Chris to live with him. After which he just can’t kick him out now x'>

As you already understand, I ship Chris and MMK… Just because I like MMK myself, yeah. And they obviously met at “The Phantom Thief Survival Battle”, where Chris participated with the Joker and his gang in trials. And around the same place he became interested in MMK.

(I'm imagining a scene where, at the end of the episode, where MMK is standing away from everyone, Chris at some point notices him, and waves with a friendly smile, causing MMK to wave back in a very puzzled way)

The Joker could even comment on the March Hare’s “falling in love”, because I’m willing to bet that before that Chris had a crush on both the Joker himself and Spade, but in the end everyone rejected him. BUT HE DOESN'T LOSE HOPE >xD

And it is obvious that after that Chris will look for moments to cross paths with MMK about their business. He was definitely the first one to ask MMK out.

So yes, on this blog MMK and Chris are now officially partners, uh huh

[allayessu]

Some dumb little Kaitou Joker headcanons of him as an s/o since I'm obsessed

- It took him some time to get comfortable with touch since he's not used to physical affection but once he trusts you enough he will latch onto you like a koala

- 100% kisses your hand/knuckles as one of his ultimate forms of love

- He does those cool card tricks to impress you when you're free even if it's just child's play to him

- He likes it when he gets to lie down on your lap. Bonus points if you caress his scar with your thumb

- If you can cook he begs you to cook something for him

- Likes to put his top hat on you because he thinks it's cute

- When y'all started dating he was not the kind of touchy-feely dude at first and he felt bad because he was not comfortable with being vulnerable around you yet until you slowly start to gain his trust and slowly he allows himself to let his guard down around you knowing that he's safe

- That being said, you were internally punching the air in tears when he asked if you'd like to cuddle with him. Tenfold when he wanted to sleep with you

- If you're sleeping together he definitely is the bigger spoon because it makes him feel like he's in control. Would have an arm securely wrapped around you while he plants his face into the top of your head

- ANOTHER side to this is when y'all try to have some romantic sleepy time together y'all just end up waking up with Joker's foot on your stomach and yours near his head

- On nights when he's not stealing something he'd just bring you to the Sky Joker to stargaze

- Sneaks to your place at night when you're about to sleep just so he could pull a Romeo and come up to your window with a flower bouquet in hand

- "Wanna see a magic trick? I can turn the color of your face in an instant!" *Kisses you* "see? your face turned red just like I predicted!"

- Sometimes when he sees you somewhere in public he'd drop an Advance Notice from the sky saying "Right now, I'll steal my No.1 treasure as soon as my target reads this." And he proceeds to literally snatch you from the sky

- Hardcore cartoon show marathons together. Same with video games

- Annoying you is his love language

- He doesn't fall he fucking bodyslams.

- Doesn't look like it but he takes your relationship veeeeeeeery seriously

- Clingy AS FUUUUUUUUCKKKK

- When he has no idea where to take you for date nights he just brings you to rooftops of high buildings and watch the city horizon under starry nights. He might even use Balloon Gum to get there while carrying you by the waist

- Kiss his eye scar. He loves it <3

- Would be the type to play fight no I don't take criticism. That being said he tends to do a lot of cute aggression like aggressively squishing your cheeks

- Best bf both boyfriend and best friend you can be sweet and intimate for the first second and the next you're roughhousing with you holding him in a triangle choke

- From what I've seen so far he doesn't exactly... respond to people calling him by Jack??? I mean Shadow and Rose called him Jack a few times and he just lets it slide. But I tend to see him being uncomfortable when being called Jack

- Unless... you're his s/o. And suddenly he loooooves the way your voice sounds when you call him Jack

- Playful bickering idc if you're dating this clown you're BOUND to have some friendly beef

- Y'all would parrot each other like if both of you see somebody you don't like y'all would make the EXACT same disgusted face. After that y'all proceed to gossip the shit out of them

- Overall he's not one to know how to be all romantic but definitely tries his best to properly love you <3

[phantoms-lair]

A Wolf Among Thieves part 2

Okay, Vajlean wasn't going to be useful here, so the only ones he'd have left to ask was the kids. Something he had expressly NOT wanted to do.

He'd said more than once they were naïve. He'd come to realize it wasn't that they were ignorant of how the world worked, they knew better than most. It was that they refused to accept it so long as they were alive to change it. But in the end they were still kids and they could be naïve enough to not question certain things. Like what being a Persona User could mean.

Zenkichi vividly remembered the first half of his trip into the Kyoto Jail. It was terrifying, ducking around pillars and knowing being seen would mean death. And how he moved just like in the real world. Then when Valjean awakened it changed, he was jumping onto roofs and practically teleporting behind cover like it was second nature. None of the kids had taught him how to do that, just like swinging that giant sword it came naturally.

He had been changed, remade to adapt to the Metaverse. And he had been carefully not thinking about if that followed in the real world. That more than his outlook had changed, that he was now something not quite human. Something other. And the last thing he'd wanted was this hanging over the kids. But he had to know...

Kurusu picked up immediately. "Everything okay, Wolf?" His voice in full Joker mode.

"I was just wondering something. After you awoke to Arsène did anything...weird happen to you."

The other side of the line was quiet for a moment. "I started traveling into the depth of Tokyo's collective subconscious so I could chide some peoples repressed feelings and combat other ones using my rebellious spirit as a mystical weapon. I also went directly in the minds of some of the most evil people I've ever met in order to steal a part of their soul that was making them into twisted bastards in the first place, then selling it for cash at a pawn shop so we could further fund supplies for our exploits. I escaped jail by pulling a trick with reality so the assassin posing as my teammate shot the memory of me being in my cell instead of my actual self. I have killed at least three gods, the first one by taking the offered power of everyone I'd helped and turning it into a fallen angel with a gun. The personification of Hope lives in my room and for reasons unbeknownst to me or him is trapped in the form of a cat. He can also turn into a bus. My friends and I were brought into the Metaverse for a Dance Off that Lavenza thinks I don't remember, but I totally do."

"Okay, okay. Point taken. I should have specified. I didn't mean weird events. I meant like, weird with your body."

"Is this a puberty talk? Because I can assure you I know about the birds and the bees-"

"Not that!" Thank GOD Akane wasn't home. "Look, I got into a bar fight tonight. The fight itself wasn't important, but while I was fighting I started healing, like I do in the Metaverse when I'm not in a Fury. And it's not just the injuries I got during the fight. All the little everyday cuts and bruises are gone and I am doing my best not to freak out, but I am very much freaking out." He could hear Morgana's voice in his head telling him to get it together, just like his first foray into the Metaverse. It didn't help then and it wasn't helping now.

"I haven't noticed anything like that, but none of the rest of us have regenerative abilities like yours." Kuruso said gently and despite himself Zenkichi felt himself calming down ever so slightly. "I know some people who might be able to give us answers. Igor would definitely know, but he's more of a 'you don't call him, he calls you' guy, so he might take a while to find. Lavenza I can get to, she may not know all the answers, but she should know something. We'll find you answers."

"Thank you. And sorry, for falling apart on the phone." Zenkichi said sheepishly.

"It's not a problem, you're one of us now, and we look after our own." Because no one else would was unsaid.

~

Zenkichi was having dinner with Akane when his phone buzzed. He felt a bit guilty for the quick glance he took at it, but he did work a job where people's lives could depend on his response time.

Have some answers. Den tonight.

"Work?" Akane asked with a bit of disdain. "Just an informant updating me on his progress." He assured her. "Nothing worth interrupting dinner for." Not to mention said informant and his crew would rake him over the coals if he didn't spend enough time with his daughter. Those kids...

Still the Den though. Zenkichi had mixed feelings on the place. It was perfect for their purposes. He just hated how much the location shouldn't exist.

It had apparently manifested during the Yaldaboath incident. A small corner of the metaverse that had attuned to the Phantom Thieves, almost like a one room palace (even if it was a very big room). It had vanished with the rest of the metaverse after that incident had ended, but Sophie had gotten the idea if her 'sister' Emma had managed to have so much control of the metaverse, she could manage one location.

Because it worked like a Jail, all they had to do was enter the passcode and they'd be taken there, regardless from where in Japan they were, and be returned to the same spot. It helped with him in Kyoto, most of the kids in Tokyo, and Sophie who knew where. Incredible convenient, but it gave him the heebie jeebies.

Once Akane was asleep he took out his phone. "For one so desperate for answers, you certainly fear them." His golden eyed reflection said mockingly.

Zenkichi certainly regretted his desperate attempt to talk to his persona. Not only had it not gotten him anything, but Valjean seemingly took it as an invitation to chat with him whenever he saw his reflection which was...annoying (Even if his commentary during boring meetings was hilarious). Still, Zenkichi ignored him and pulled up the custom EMMA-like interface. "Name: Thieves' Den Passcode: I am Thou."

His house dissolved around him and he found himself in the bright red room. But at the same time his heart sank. He'd expected to find Kurusu. And the leader of the Phantom Thieves was there - along with every other member.

So much for not worrying them.

"Hey Gramps," Sakamoto gave him a tiny salute. He was in his Phantom Thief attire with him mask up around his forehead. Most of them were, save Takamaki who was wearing a school uniform.

It seemed strange to him how she didn't actually like her outfit. She'd grown used to it, but didn't think it was cool, the way the others Including him felt about their attire. Had she just gotten so used to being seen as a sex object between her modeling work and Kamoshida's advances that that's how she saw herself even if she hated it.

He'd suggest therapy, but apparently the last time one of these kids tried therapy the therapist had turned himself into a god and tried to rewrite reality into his own Utopia, so that was probably out.

What even was his life?

"So answers?"

"Well, Igor continues his streak of not being there when I need him." There was no mistaking the frustration in his tone. "But Lavenza told me what she could, and we've been running some experiments."

"I could not participate in the experiments as I have no body outside the metaverse, so I helped compile the data." Sophie said brightly.

The kids had been experimenting on themselves?

"So according to Lavenza, awakening to a Persona sort of grants you a dual citizenship in the Metaverse. That's why it's easier for us to navigate after an awakening. We count as a local for all intents and purposes. Also our Personas being a part of us mean we're intrinsically connected."

"It's harder to tell for the mot part with we who have only one persona," Niijima stated. "But Akira's wildcard ability showed that what we do and how we train our bodies does effect our Personas, so it made sense for the reverse to be true."

"We also learned that being a Persona user doesn't automatically make you heal faster, though wounds healed in the metaverse would stay healed in our reality." Sakura continued. "So in an emergency we could use magic in the metaverse to heal a serious injury without the need for a hospital."

"Passive healing isn't common, but I do have some Persona's with a Regenerate ability. When I equipped them, I noticed the fast healing you mentioned did seem to effect me. So it's likely that you do have a variant for ValJean's ability and can heal yourself through fighting. You also probably have the reverse, but I'd prefer you didn't use it as we don't have access to healing magics outside the cognitive world."

"Don't worry, I have no plans to test out if I can tear myself apart in the real world." Because at this point he was honestly just going to assume he could and avoid it.

"Other than emotionally" He reflection snarked back.

You know what? "Also do you guys know how to keep you persona from snarking at you? ValJean's gotten kind of mouthy."

He got several blank looks in return.

"ValJean talks to you? Regularly?" Okumura ventured.

"Is that...? I'm guessing from your looks that's not normal?"

"My Persona only spoke to me when it first awakened." Takamaki looked around, as if confirming this with everyone else.

"The same with mine." Kitagawa nodded.

"Johana was a bit..." Niijima winced . "'I see you've found you're justice, pray do not loose sight of it again.'" She quoted. "I felt like I'd disappointed my mom. I have a hard time imagining just being able to chat with her."

"For real?" Sakamoto looked surprised. "Cap was cool. Told be since my name was already mud, I might as well let loose and wreck havoc. I'd love to have the chance to actually talk with him."

"Zenkichi, under what circumstance did ValJean start talking to you?" Morgana inquired thoughtfully.

"I wanted to ask him about the healing thing. But since it turns out Personas only know what the human they come from knows, he had zilch. And then he never shut up." Zenkichi rolled his eyes.

"Really?" Kurusu of all people looked surprised. "I always got the impression Arséne knew a lot he wasn't telling me. Maybe it's another wildcard thing?"

Sakamoto snorted. "Dude I think it's a you thing. When you're on you give this aura like you have all the answers and hold all the cards. And Arséne's a part of you so...yeah. I think you just played yourself, man."

While the rest of the Phantom Thieves laughed at the bewildered look on their leader, Morgana looked thoughtful. "It makes a certain amount of sense." Morgana allowed, tail twitching. "Personas are part of one's cognition and as such can be shaped by our perceptions. None of us had a persona talk to us outside an awakening, so we assumed just talking to a persona wasn't a thing that could happen. After all, we had accepted that part of us into ourselves. Zenkichi, you to at least some degree saw ValJean as a separate entity, at least enough to assume he'd know something you didn't. You expected him to be able to respond and because of that he was."

"Of course once he did respond that was it. Talking to him became part of your cognition of him. No putting that genie back in the bottle."

"Great." Zenkichi glared at his golden eyes reflection.

"It is not my fault you are ever the agent of your own undoing." ValJean grinned back.

"Having to listen to you forever is a hell of a price tag for admission into the Phantom Thieves." Zenkichi groused.

"Don't be silly, Valjean's not why you got in." Sakura snorted.

"He isn't?" Zenkichi was at least slightly satisfied to see his persona just as poleaxed. "I asked if it was that simple and you said yes."

"Oh, is that what you meant? Then the answer is no, becoming a Phantom thief is NOT as simple as awakening a Persona." Takamaki clarified.

"Yeah Gramps, thought you knew. You were a Phantom Thief before you entered that dungeon." Sakamoto laughed.

"I was?" If anything Zenkichi was even more confused.

"Get out of there. Run." Kurusu said the words calmly, unlike how he had yelled them the night Akane had been taken. "Those words. That moment."

"Please understand, we wanted to trust you before then." Niijima apologized. "But you're not the first member of 'law enforcement' to demand a deal. And they've never intended to keep their end not even....not even Sis." She clenched her fists, remember a Christmas morning she'd thought be filled with hope instead be replaced with anger and betrayal. "The intention was always for us to end up caged, dead or both."

"So by the time you showed up to blackmail us, we knew anyone working with the authorities was absolutely not to be trusted." Okumura further explained, which really made her 'We hate cops' attitude all the more understandable.

"But that moment was a line in the sand. You could sacrifice us for your career, All you had to do was nothing and you'd be set for life. A false hero for the country to praise." Kurusu continued to explain. "But instead you sacrificed your career for us. You gave warning, ruining your career and taking our place in interrogation." He locked eyes with Zenkichi who was suddenly and forcefully reminded that Joker knew what being on the wrong side of that table was like. Knew more than the others exactly the treatment Zenkichi would expect. "In that moment you had to choose if you were with us or them. And that is when you became a Phantom Thief."

Zenkichi felt a lump in his throat. "I just did was right."

"Exactly." said Sakura. "Exactly."

ValJean laughed. "Did the children not just tell you they have little to no experience with adults doing 'what was right' by them. You have their trust and you have earned it fairly."

He'd earned it. And to be honest that felt a little better than getting his place on the team because he had a Persona.

"So you've been keeping u with your cooking, right? What did you make for Akane for dinner tonight." Okumura's words were friendly, but her eyes were sharp with challenge. Kurursu had also sat up straighter, waiting for his response.

Those damn kids. His damn kids.

His?

Okay, he could deal with this revelation later. Right now he had to defend himself in the court of cooking

~~~~

Honestly the original idea for this fic came from the P5 manga where the theives are playing cards and Joker keeps winning until one of the team accuses him of having a high-luck Persona equipped.

And if that carried over, why not other things? Like Zenkichi healing while he's fighting as long as he isn't using Fury

[basically-bernard]

As a heads up, Jacyn (the kid you're talking to) is a manipulative teen who idolizes the Joker. He isn't . . . mentally well safely put. You'd best ask you Tim what exactly Jacyn has been doing, what happened should be explained by him and not me. I won't go behind Cat Tim's back like that. Just know that you need to be cautious around Jacyn, don't fall for his tricks

(Nonny nonny)

Oh, well thank you for the advice, Nonny.

Tim kind of skimmed over the lowdown of this particular teen but I think it might be time for a more in-depth explanation…

Time to go harass my boyfriend~

[howlingday]

Thinking back on the idea of RWBY and rogue galleries in general, which comic book rogues do you think would be interesting to see Team RWBY (and JNPR/ORNJ) go against?

Obviously some villains would be flat out ridiculous (Superman's, Hulk's, etc.), but others, like the Spiderman or Batman villains, seem like they have potential...

Both rogue galleries are accustomed to teenage heroics yet are still susceptible to being defeated by them.

Some members are flat out crazy (Joker, Electro, etc.) and will probably get trounced without mercy while others are WAY more sympathetic in spite of their villainy (Curt Connors, Clayface, Mr. Freeze, etc.) adding a "human" twist that RWBY isn't exactly used to.

I mean can you imagine Blake, a faunus, trying to call the Lizard or Clayface monsters despite them not wanting their horrendous appearance?

Or Weiss trying to stop Mr. Freeze plunging beacon into the Ice Age despite the fact that all he wants to do is save his wife who brings warmth to his lonely existence?

What do you think?

When it comes to RWBYs own rogues gallery, it's not hard to find a set point on who fits who best.

For example, starting from the beginning, there's Vale's criminal underworld run by Roman Torchwick. I'd consider this

GANG-LEVEL

Street thugs, ne'er-do-wells, and general human scum who will lie, cheat, and steal, doing whatever it takes to survive. These are villains on the same level as most of Gotham's worst of the worst; Joker, Penguin, Scarecrow, Riddler, ordinary humans with slightly above average physical skills. But, it should be noted that these are also villains who have tricks up their sleeves. Tricks like, well, a trick cane... or Joker Venom.

But after the Fall of Beacon, we reached a new level of threat that gives us a broader perspective. These are the villains who have went beyond the ordinary and into the extraordinary, bringing with them a dangerous arsenal of weapons, skills, and super-powers that make them a threat to even the most skilled fighters. In honor of this, I choose to classify them as

HUNTSMAN-LEVEL

Superhumans, supervillains, and super pains in our backsides, these are the kinds of baddies that definitely make a Death Battle list. Villains like Tyrian Callows, Adam Taurus, Arthur Watts from RWBY get put up against super-criminals like The Scorpion, Shredder, and Doctor Doom. These would be tough fights for RWBY and would require help from the other side to assist. I'm thinking entire stories with them as the big bad guys. There's some kind of superhuman skill they have that makes them more than just a threat, but a super threat.

Speaking of Big Bads, going beyond the scope further are the enemies that are way too much for RWBY and would actually the fun of writing these universe together. Yeah, I'm talking

EXTINCTION-LEVEL

Thanos, Darkseid, Salem; you know them, you fear them, and there's a reason for both. These are the final bosses of their own franchises, and the reason for that is pretty clear. Planets? Dusted. Galaxies? Peanuts. Life? Meaningless. Resistance? Futile. However, my biggest problem with these villains for RWBY is they're too big. Like, these guys just blink, and the worst thing that could happen to our heroes is just the start. So, yeah, don't expect me to write anything serious with these players anytime soon.

---------------------------------------------------

Now, as for sympathetic VS merciless, it kinda depends on the situation they're in.

For example, Basil Karlo, Clayface, was a famous actor who desperately wants to regain his original appearance. Sympathetic. However, I can also see Weiss freezing him without hesitation because he's trying to kill a doctor who can't fix him.

Dr. Kurt Connors would be similar with Blake, as you said, but I feel she would also feel no hesitation in putting him down. She might draw some parallels between him, and another seemingly passionate man driven over the edge into becoming a monster.

Honestly, these are both interesting scenarios, and I'd like to do more with them if I get the chance (COUGH, COUGH, 70 ASKS) but we'll just have to wait and see until then.

Keep up the good work and thanks for the food for thought!