#don't even get me started on being schizoid

[saranitysstuff]

...aren't all of them lmao 😭

Do you have a highly stigmatized mental illness?

[unpanzito]

can you yap about your ideas for ur jeff rewrite :3

Alright, sorry for taking long to answer, I literally had nothing when you asked "x(. Now I kind of do. First of all, I'm not trying to make a super original and fantastic version of Jeff, I wanna keep it close to the "canon" and just give my little turn to it, my original part starts with Zalgo's deal, what happens before it's not very important to me.

Liu is like 5 years older than Jeff.

Jeff's accident happens when he's like 16.

Jeff already had schizoid personality traits before any accident or even suffering from bullying.

There's not a specific group of bullies, all of Jeff's classroom either talks about him at his back, excludes him or ignores him for being kind of a psycho, for his appearance, or Jeff himself provokes it 'cause thinks they're all stupid and boring, so he scares them on purpose. Randy is the one Jeff hates the most, mostly 'cause Jeff is not capable of scare him away.

Jeff's accident, and yes it was an accident, occurs in a school camp, a random kid brought their dad's flare gun 'cause they thought it was smart. At night many kids started gathering to see the gun, Randy came and grabbed it starting to aim at the sky, then he aimed at Jeff who was sitting alone in front of the campfire (it was slightly lit), deep in his thoughts, another kid came and tried to take the gun from Randy's hand, the gun shoots and hits the floor, bounces and hits Jeff in the face, exploding.

When Jeff's finally released from the hospital, Randy and his mom go to his house with a cake as a gift, Randy didn't want to be there at ALL 'cause he felt so guilty. He's sent to the backyard to search for Jeff, he can't find him at first, Jeff appears from his back and hits him with a wrench, he hits him until Liu comes running and throws Jeff off Randy, both mothers come after him. Randy is hospitalized with a very serious head concussion.

Jeff's actions were associated to his head traumatism and his brain being swollen (by the shot).

One night Jeff can't sleep and needs to take some medicines for which needs his mother's help. She was kinda pissed and done with him after Randy's and how overall aggressive he was getting, so his mother dismisses him and sends him to sleep. Jeff got really pissed off and abruptly decides to end it there, he goes to the bathroom and tries to swallow a bunch of pills, he fails 'cause he almost can't move his facial muscles and can barely open his mouth, so the pills fall to the floor. Jeff, already out of his mind, searches for a knife and comes back to the bathroom, starts to tear off the bandages closer to his mouth and after that, cuts two slits at the sides of his mouth. (These slits weren't as prominent as what my design has now).

Jeff can't feel his face, neither then nor now, but now he can move his facial muscles normally.

After Jeff slits his face, and checks that it kinda looks like a smile, laughs a bit, hears his mother walk through the hallway "Jeff, I told you to go to sleep". Then she opens the bathroom and sees Jeff. "Go to sleep, ma." says Jeff in a mocking tone (yes, laugh). There's no fight, the mother can't even scream, she faints. Idk what happens then but Jeff somehow kills her, I don't need to detail that.

After a while, Liu gets home, he's all messed up, drunk, high, everything. He sees Jeff sitting in the stairs in the dark. He tries to talk to him and ask if everything's alright, and when he goes to turn on the light right in the stairs, Jeff hits him with a mirror, that shatters in his face, he hits him like 3 more times and Liu ends up passing out 'cause of the hits, the fall and all the substance in his body. He wakes up minutes later in the same spot with a slit in his throat and cuts all over his face. You imagine all the stuff later.

I've already shared this part, where it all goes south, Jeff runs to a hiking trail or something and just lies down waiting to bleed out or die 'cause of the cold, and then a talking dog appears (Smile dog, which doesn't really talk, it's Zalgo) and offers him the deal of keep on living until "finishing what he started" (he has to kill Liu) or dying there and suffer forever.

For other part, Liu ends up being the one in jail because of the murder of his mother and the disappearance of his brother.

And that's what I have for now, at least what comes to "Jeff rewritten". I'm open to constructive criticism x), tho as I said, I don't want this to be neither the best story ever nor in any way believable, there's a demon-dog possessed by an interdimensional chaos being, idc if it's unrealistic :P.

[schizoid-hikikomori]

Something I don't see people talking about often when it comes to schizoid pd is that idea of relatability.

I don't think I've been able to truly relate to anyone in my life. I believe part of that may come from my observations of behavior from my older sisters and older cousins and being able to learn what not to do or how not to behave.

Many people form bonds over being upset with their parents, as a very early example. Because I didn't have violent emotional outbursts like I would observe my sister to have, I wasn't punished in the same way, I didn't harbor the same frustration that other people might experience with their parents, and again, I never got to experience those dramatic emotions.

So when you start off early in life diverging from expected behavior, it doesn't set you up well. Not to mention the fact I went to a school of mostly white students as a nonwhite and multiracial/multiethnic student. White kids in this small school had established social groups they wouldn't diverge from, they looked at me differently and talked to me differently than they would their friends, and had a very distinct non-interest in interacting with me. (And the typical tropes of white girls being jealous of my hair).

Of course I had friends, but consistently it was only one or two I would be seeing outside of school, while my sisters and cousins had larger friend groups with more things going on.

I developed depression in middle school and at this point I think my more identifiable schizoid traits became more pronounced here. I was never all that happy as a child, but this is where it became very clear to outsiders that I wasn't doing well if they were paying attention.

At this time the rift between myself and others grew even larger. Kids would be hormonal, getting into relationships, smoking cigarettes and weed, drinking alcohol, and starting drama just for the hell of it. Those things people described as high school activities started in middle school.

In high school I got this feeling I was falling behind. I never experienced things other people experienced by the time they were in high school. I just wanted to drop out completely and move on. (I didn't, of course. My mother would never have allowed it.)

It became a phenomenon where when I was talking to someone new that I would get annoyed or frustrated when they tried to relate to me. I would tell them something that seems simple about me, and they would make an attempt to relate.

The issue is, they experience that specific thing for a different reason than I do. You think you get it but you really don't.

As an obvious example, people group withdrawn and solitary individuals into groups and labels but fail to recognize the reason someone might be withdrawn.

Similarly, someone might claim to despise people as I do, but still make an effort to seek out new friends and attend social events, which tells me no, you're not anything like me. Stop pretending to be.

This same phenomenon of people trying to seek relatability wherever they might find it also leads to the impulsive self diagnosis thing. People see a basic list of DSM symptoms (which are very surface level) and start imagining they have a disorder, ignoring the reasons behind those symptoms.

It's to the point where they even have to advise psychology students studying abnormal psychology to be aware of this and to avoid it.

I've seen people with other disorders able to bond over their shared experiences and provide one another with support, creating a sense of community, but there's something about schizoid pd that completely prevents me from being able to do that.

Early on, there were so many factors that prevented me from being able to properly connect with people in my family, and furthermore with classmates, which evolved into this full barrier between myself and everyone else.

I don't try to relate to anyone anymore, and it's irritating when people try to relate to me when I know they won't ever be able to fully understand.

Photo from a few weeks ago.

[pawberri]

Your blog makes me feel safe. I just want you to know that.

At first I saw your post about old internet nostalgia and went "holy shit" because I haven't seen anyone touch on a subject like that before, and then I saw that your DNI and went double "holy shit" because I was struggling with kink-related moral dilemmas and really needed that nuance, and then I started scrolling through your blog and sharing everything I found personally meaningful with my friends like your opinions on how people treat children and the disabled and internet culture and suchs, even the posts spreading awareness about psychotic disorders was helpful because I've been pondering if I'm schizoid and dissociative or just autistic and depressive or all of that at once.

I'm unsure if this is TMI or like, too "parasocial," because I definitely don't mean any of this in like a "Oh you're the best person ever and could never do any wrong and you have all the answers to everything in the world!!" because that is not true, you're a person too.

It's just that, I just there's a lot in this blog that means a lot to me. I like it. It makes me feel safe, for the time being.

Thank you so much, that makes me really happy... I want to talk abt these things in a nuanced way that isn't condemning people as pure evil but still takes into account my and my generations experiences online... etc etc. A lot of my posts are things I make to test if my paranoid beliefs are true and I will be condemned and to get myself out of ocd spirals of being evil and try to have nuance and be kind and present the best version of beliefs so I'm glad others feel comforted by me trying to resolve my own anxieties

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I think the only headcanon I like and remember consistently is Killer having attachment issues in the way

When any relationship gets too real, he does his best to push the other one away. Actively doing things he knows the other one won't like so they'll leave him, because he doesn't deserve any kind of good-ish relationships. He thinks they'd do better in life without him. Uhh I think it's just a case of self-hatred, if I know my emotions right(which I don't)

Yes i agree. Although I think the reasons behind this isn’t as straight forward as it seems. Very important to keep in mind that Killer has a dissociative disorder—this will affect his attachments. Such as in his Stages.

For Stage 2, i genuinely think he is not interested in emotional connections, or at least is convinced he is. He views them as a threat to his independence and emotional detachment, and views himself as not capable of having them.

He prefers to live his fantasies out in his mind where it’s safer and less risk—where he has control. The second anything comes too real, and he starts filling engulfed, he will detach himself and start actively self sabotage to make them leave. This is to protect himself, and only himself.

There isn’t exactly a sense of “I don’t deserve this/you,” exactly. The most I can see this mindset cropping up is in his relationship with Color. For everyone else it’s more like, “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.” (Which is rich, considering his entire codependency shit with Nightmare. Silly little un-self aware bastard he is.

Although with Nightmare he doesn’t really have to worry about giving a shit about Nightmares emotions genuinely unless they impact him—he just does what he’s told or what he has to, and in return he gets purpose and direction.)

This is his schizoid and antisocial tendencies. Which i headcanon killer to have traits of in Stage 2. I think Stage 2 would have a dismissive avoidant attachment style.

In Stage 1, it’s much like you said—feeling undeserving—but also feeling deeply afraid of being engulfed, controlled, rejected, or abandoned or hurt again—although he deeply craves emotional connection and validation and safety.

For me, personally, Stage 1 is either anxious preoccupied attachment style, or fearful avoidant.

I’m not quite certain about how it’d manifest in Stages 3 and 4—mostly because killer doesn’t really attach much in these states. These two have bigger things to worry about than getting attached—and possibly don’t even conceive things like relationships.

Which, yeah, these are dissociative adaptations meant to keep killer alive or avoid suffering in ways that may be outdated to his current situation. Based on certain interpretations, Stage 3 is more likely to be entirely focused on the immediate moment and himself—nothing and no one else. Stage 4 is entirely unlikely to be focused on itself at all.

This would likely change and develop when Killer manages to form genuine connections and escape the dangerous abusive environment he is in— such as with Color, and then perhaps eventually with the rest of the Epic Sanses and the Chromatic Crew. And of course, the Stages are all still the same person— so there will be ripple effects.

[schizoid-culture-is]

More on the pwSzPD x pwBPD topic: I'm questioning if I have SzPD, and whether or not I do in terms of diagnosis, I have basically all the symptoms and thought processes. I've had a high number of pwBPD in my life, I'm pretty sure 9 total now.

I agree with what someone else said about our calm and unemotional disposition being comforting for pwBPD. I've heard from a lot of pwBPD that they feel judged by others but not me. I think part of it comes from the fact that pwBPD read into a lot of reactions, and since I don't have many, there's less things to trigger them.

However, sometimes these relationships can be exhausting for me, because the pwBPD needs a lot of validation, especially verbal validation like enthusiasm and compliments, and I'm just not able to give that. Also, they can blow up on small things, and I don't really know how to apologise since I wouldn't blow up even if someone slapped me in the face, and I have super low empathy.

(TW for abuse) I've also had multiple (4) pwBPD abuse me emotionally and sometimes physically. I think some of my schizoid symptoms started getting a lot worse during one of these periods, since some of the abuse relied on isolation tactics and scrutinising my reactions/emotions. (TW over)

This is a really interesting concept to me, since my biological father has BPD and I always thought that so many pwBPD came into my life because of that, but I'm starting to think maybe not, and maybe it's more evidence towards me possibly being schizoid.

Currently my closest friend is a pwBPD who I've known for over a year. They actually were interested in me romantically (still are?) but I'm not interested in dating at all. We still have a positive relationship, it can become a little suffocating at times since they constantly want to buy me gifts and food, and sometimes put long paragraphs trying to comfort or show affection to me, but I know it comes from a good place. They were actually the first person to tell me they thought I was schizoid. And it doesn't hurt that the plushies they buy me are cute and help me when I'm feeling super numb.

Sorry this is so gosh darn long. I just discovered your blog, it's incredible because all of this stuff are the "feelings"/experiences I've had since about 10-11 years old. Even though I've had some not so good experiences with pwBPD, two major characters of a story I'm writing have SzPD and BPD respectively and are close friends and potentially one-sided romance (BPD -> <3 -> SzPD). Though it's in a mostly healthy way, where they help each other heal from trauma.

Thank you for reading this monster of a post, I love your blog!

Its interesting to see someone bring up one experience they have, and then multiple other schizoids saying "This is me too!", thanks for this ask anon! And i'm glad to help people figure themselves out :]

[aaami]

Don't mind me just rambling about mental health stuff, I have thoughts today

Like... After getting the diagnoses, I've been starting to really see and understand how and why I react to stuff the way I do, it's pretty interesting actually 🤔

Before my personality disorder diagnosis, I didn't even know that it's possible to have a mixed personality disorder, which is probably a big reason why I felt (and still do feel at times) that what's going on in my head doesn't make any sense, my thoughts contradict each other and so on. But now it makes sense to me?? Because I have traits of several personality disorders that make my brain go wild, since they don't mix well together and make life difficult for me. Like, I have traits of borderline, which very much contradicts my avoidant and schizoid traits; for example, I fear abandonment and always feel like everyone secretly hates me and only tolerates me because they pity me or smth, YET at the same time I feel like I deserve being abandoned and that perhaps I'm better off being alone in my own world... Which then triggers some of my mood swings. And might as well be the reason for my long-term depression, because I've felt and gone through these thoughts for a very very long time without understanding why.

It's a weird experience and has confused me for so so so long. Finally getting help for my issues was probably the best decision I've ever made. There is still a long road to learning to manage these feelings and keeping them from controlling me so much, but hey, I'm already going in the right direction, I think.

[erotomox]

I'm interested in hearing about your paras! Cuz of that same reason, people being scared of loss of interaction, I don't really get to see people talking about it

so my main reason behind having the paraphilias I do have is actually my asociality! i. loathe human interaction for multiple reasons (autism and schizophrenia, for example, but the main driving factor is being schizoid), but I'm still attracted to the human form, so I like things that Look Human but cannot Interact with me (dolls, statues, and corpses are the main things I'm attracted to). I'm fond of things that either used to be human or have a lot of care and consideration and attention put into them (for example, marble statues) because connection is still a goal of mine (just not by way of reciprocal interaction)

another thing that drives my attractions is my habit of sexualizing things that distress me. i have dealt with really, really violent intrusive thoughts since I was really young, and my body's coping mechanism was to sexualize it; if I find it pleasurable, it's no longer distressing. So, I'm into things like blood and murder and whatnot!

I've been fascinated by death since i was very young. I had a really strong greek mythology phase as a kid (who didn't lol) and my favorite god was thanatos, and my favorite egyptian god (once I got into that) was anubis (I actually plan on getting an anubis tattoo). i think my death fetish (as in, my attraction to death itself as a concept, not just me being into corpses) might have been my first paraphilia, even if it didn't register as arousal at such a young age. (if you're curious to learn about death fetishism, I HIGHLY recommend the book I Love Dead People: Inside the Minds of Death Fetishists by Victoria Hartman! It's such a good read, and was instrumental in me realizing I even had a death fetish)

similarly, i first realized i was into statues (subconsciously; I wouldn't consciously be aware of that until I was around 19) when I first saw the statue of David in Florence. It was June 2014, I was newly 11, and we went to Europe for a month as a Christmas gift from my parents (this ended up being great timing, because in January of 2015, my brother and I both had brain surgery). I was starting to wane HARD by the time we got to Florence at the end of our trip; I was overstimulated and in pain and had never dealt with that much travel before. Still, the moment I rounded the corner into the room housing the statue in the galleria dell'accademia and saw him, my knees nearly gave out. It was like I was seeing beauty for the first time, like I was learning what attraction was. That is still one of the most pivotal moments of my life; I long to go back and experience that moment again.

i find it interesting that i was into statues that young. I didn't develop szpd until late high school, and that's my main reason for being attracted to Things That Look Human But Aren't. i was still socially withdrawn at that age; I was newly disabled, unable to attend school due to severe anxiety, autistic and undiagnosed, and bullied by my peers to the point of being physically attacked. i still wanted interaction though, unlike now, when the idea of interacting with people face to face makes me deathly uncomfortable. i guess it wasn't always as linked to the schizoid thought process as it is now.

on another note, i'm Strictly a dom sadist. i used to think I was a sub masochist, then a switch sadomasochist, but eventually I stopped like. lying to myself. i fell into that trap of thinking that the desire for domination and sadism had to be tempered by submission and masochism or else it was unhealthy or abusive (pro tip: it isn't. you're allowed to be only dominant and only sadistic and it doesn't mean you're a bad person).i think my discomfort with the idea of submitting comes from the lack of agency and control I've had in my life (for multiple reasons, mainly my being considerably disabled from a very young age), so I cling to control wherever I can get it. i also don't like pain in an erotic sense because I'm Always In Pain, and I have been for over half my life; it's the one thing my brain hasn't fetishized yet. maybe one day, but I doubt it. the idea of being able to control pain itself is incredibly appealing.

sorry this is long and rambly and probably oversharing, i just really, really have a lot of thoughts about this and only get to talk about it with like. one or two people alskjdalsd

[hermit-pride]

Day: 10. Not very certain about my sexual orientation or status, if you will. I have never had a strong libido with my schizoid traits playing a key role. Sex was always a physical only thing. I remember a one night stand that I had. It was wonderful, out in nature among giant trees. Couldn't be more perfect. But I couldn't wait to get her home and leave even though she invited me in for (thirds). But I was 22 and that was so many years ago.

My wife haven't been intimate in at least ten years. And the decade before that wasn't much better. Not for lack of eagerness on her part. But she is old school and feels that if a guy doesn't initiate it's because he doesn't want it.

I am repelled by intimacy. I have, however had sex with myself once or twice a week. Not imagining someone I know as a partner, just that surge forward to ring the bell and renew my dopamine levels. I do not have sexy dreams or fantasize about sex. I don't recall being sexually attracted to another in a very long time.

But I am attracted to females intellectually. Case in point, I belonged to a gymn for a while. I would ride the exercise bikes, and hope she would show up, and then hit the steam room and shower before going to work. Let's call her Pam.

The room that is set up for exercise bikes is glassed in and the lights were always off, unless a class was in progress. Pam would come in and do a few stretches on the mats then hop on her favorite bike. Always the second from the front in the left side if facing out. She would start slow, then increase her speed. She would never sprint. After she warmed up, she would stand up while not breaking her pedalling pace and let go of the handle bars. It was graceful and pure magic!

She would ride standing for a good while then settle back into the seat. It was a dance; a thing of utter beauty and she seemed unaware that she had an audience. The process would be repeated two more times. I was pedalling in the back of the same room and could mostly only see her silhouette.

I was only able to see the solo act seven or eight times. And then I never saw her again. She would towel off then leave. I wanted to see her face. But to do so would give everything away. I marveled at her beauty of movement. But never had any lust for her.

Also, I have worked for and with dozens of managers in my nursing career but none have been held in higher esteem than my current manager. Not even close. She is the nicest (can be firm when needed but has the uncanny ability to make you somehow feel good when she provides corrective criticism). She was voted nurse of the year 2022 at which time she was also divorcing her husband. She is raising two young children, mostly by herself, she manages an ER with over 100 staff not including physicians, residents and advance practice nurses. OBTW she is at this time completing her master's degree. My word, did I leave anything out?

She is also pretty but I don't think she knows it. She reminds me of a 5'8" version of Julie Dreyfus. When she asks you to do something, there is no question. It gets done.

So she is my professional "crush". She is destined for advancement. I will miss her and remember her fondly.

So, am I asexual even though I have solo sex with no real person in mind? Or is it something else? And as you might guess I may be aromantic as well. I enjoy reading about romance occasionally but think that it is for me, unattainable. I've tried to be romantic with my wife, compliment her, bring her flowers, rub her feet. But it all feels so contrived and doesn't last. I'm a shit husband. But on the other hand I take good care of all her needs and can't imagine life without her 🤍💛.

[happyk44]

The children of Neptune are overly attached to each other, loving each other, ready to kill for each other.

Children of Neptune who often dance together and move in the dance as a whole.

Here are two separate headcannons from the Anonymous post for your consideration.

The first is the attachment and Siblin relationship of the children of Neptune, I personally like the idea that the Children of Neptune are actually very attached to each other and Protective to each other.

something like "Only I have the right to beat my brother!" and "I am the mother figure of my sisters".

The second is the joint dance of the children of Neptune... this is already much more interesting.

Personally, I see it as one of the main parts of the Neptunalia festival — Neptune's children in long white togas call for rain and praising their father rush to hold hands and dance under the downpour.

They do this to please their father and to make him more favorable to the Romans.

I am interested in your opinion.

Once again, I couldn't shut up. Lmao, I actually went onto a lengthy tangent about my interpretation of Poseidon and Amphitrite, and how Neptune and Salacia differ from them. It was supposed to loop into the first part of your ask but it got away from me, sorry!

So to summarize my thoughts, let's start with Neptune's children and their attachment. Funnily I've actually been looking into schizoid personality disorder, and I think it suits how I interpret the kids. While I think having them being overly attached to one another and willing to kill for each other is a great idea, that concept belongs to the Hades/Pluto children for me. Neptune's kids are more reclusive, and don't really see the purpose in people, even in each other.

With the kids dancing together for Neptunalia, that is such a cute idea! And I think it's a really great idea, especially for the fresh water kids. Neptunalia was held on the hottest day of the year. As water babies, I think that heat, especially dry heats, tend to fuck up the kids a lot, so moving around to build up a sweat gives them some sense of relief, even if not by much. They also coax the water from the furthest reaches of sky to come down and quench them in the same rapid wiggly movements that modern day people do when trying to get the motion detection lights to come back on.

And, once again, further details below the read more. I would love to say I'll be able to keep my thoughts concise and not need a read more to save people's dashboards from a long scroll one day but, hahaha, that is super unlikely.

Starting with the Neptunalia dancing tradition, in the heydays when fresh water kids were much more frequent, this used to be a very common thing to see. Villages without a Neptune kid or with only one/mostly stormy seas-type children would call on the fresh water babies from other towns/villages to come over and partake in the festival.

It used to be a hope that their father would take notice of his children enjoying themselves and give them rain for the summer as a "thank you". There was also the thought that the presence of the children themselves would help to bring about rain, if Neptune ignored them. While the heat/drought might not allow rain to occur immediately with the kids alone, their dancing around to coax the clouds to rain would bring a shower shortly following the festival.

While the start of their dancing did begin as more wriggly attempt to bring relief to the heat/lack of water they were suffering from, it did develop into a ceremonial festival dance over time. Music would be typically performed by the locals, but occasionally by the chaotic siblings who would rather beat a drum than dress up and perform for others. While their hands would join at certain points in the dance, they always keep them fully raised to the sky,as though reaching out to coax the rain from the clouds. Their motions are delicate and as smooth as the gentle tides, as a sunshower.

Then they grow more and more intense. Their dancing stays just below a storm or torrential downpour, coaxing for a lot of rain but not destructive rain. There's no formal song, but some of the kids will sing out to their father. The air will feel wetter and wetter as they dance. People observing close by will note the dampness of their skin and clothes as the dancing ends.

As time went on and less fresh water kids were born with the stormy seas kids unwilling to participate in the dance, especially without their fresh water counterparts to pull them into it, the tradition became lost to time. At least in the public eye it did.

Privately the stormy seas kids would sometimes dance in honour of their father. It picked up a little more as the number of fresh water children decreased over the years. Like always, their moves flow like the waves on the seas. Their hands stay outstretched the sky while they speed up, thinking of rain, thinking of their father, thinking of wet cold relief from the heat and the dryness of their mouths.

Even kids born without a half-sibling to teach them the traditions find themselves swaying in silence. Well into the modern day, when respite from heat and thirst is much easier to find, they still dance, although it may look more like the rapid wriggling it did back in the beginning.

They don't know why this day (July 23rd is the presumed date of the festival, btw!) makes them want to drift around in increasing speed but it does. Maybe it's the call of their forgotten history blooming to life on the only day that had ever truly been theirs, maybe it's the connection to their ghostly siblings dancing far below the ground, maybe it's their father inspiring them not to forget their roots.

Going back to the first part, as I said my personal headcanon is that 1) Hades/Pluto's kids are the group that are overtly attached to each other and 2) Poseidon/Neptune's kids have an extremely limited loyalty. And at certain times in certain cases it can feel less like loyalty and friendship, and more like possession.

Think "the ocean loves you so much it drowns you to keep you" kind of vibes. I hint around this with Percy sometimes, given his fatal flaw his loyalty. But where Percy is able to expand his inner circle (which I always consider to be within canon: his mom, Grover, Annabeth, Estelle, and added through my fanon: Nico and Carter), they are much more limited and it requires a far greater effort for outside persons to achieve that.

Lately, I have been looking into schizoid personality disorder and, as I've said, I think it fits my interpretation of Neptune's kids. The stormy seas kids fit the overt traits given by the DSM-5, whereas the fresh water kids would showcase more covert traits rather than overt traits. General consensus I've seen across information and personal accounts given by people living with the disorder is the DSM-5 is more geared to the people who only have overt traits and leans closer to the extreme side of the disorder. It doesn't allow for varied presentations, and the description isn't fully accurate.

But, nonetheless, SzPD is much like an extreme introversion. People with SzPD prefer to live solitarily, and avoid engaging socially, not out of fear or anxiety, but just a general disinterest in social relationships. Many have noted that it's intimacy and emotions they are avoiding, not people. They may isolate from people they feel are engulfing them. Successful friendships are usually made and held online, where distance and space is easier to maintain.

ASD is a differential diagnosis (aka something to be considered and cancelled out before diagnosis is given) as the social difficulties overlap quite a bit. Despite the name, it is not related to schizophrenia, but is considered part of the schizo-spectrum. The reason I've found for this is because of the genetic similarities between the two.

Through Million's subtypes, most of the stormy seas kids would be considered affectless schizoids. Like a lot of schizoids, they do not see anything wrong with their lack of interest in people or forming friendships. The fresh water kids who have the disorder are probably more aware of that something differs between them and other people. Due to their covet traits, they would be considered "secret schizoids". Covert traits can be determined through Akhtar's profile.

So my opinion on the Neptune kids and their relationships with each other and others is the following, broken down for sake of ease.

The stormy seas kids:

Typically all kids who are born favouring the stormy destructive seas have SzPD. They tend to have more overt traits versus covert. They are not close to people and do not desire closeness. They will do whatever they can to avoid social situations. Making social events mandatory does not work. They would rather take punishment in solitude than have to socialize. If they are forced to attend events, they will isolate themselves, and come off as odd when they do have to speak with someone. Because of alexithymia, their typical emotional state would be best categorized as a persistent emptiness, hollowness, or nothingness. They do not express emotion. They are apathetic to need of others, including each other's. As a result, there is no emotional or even familial connection between them, even if they grew up with one another or raised each other. They do their best to be as self-sufficient as possible. Much of the Neptune/Poseidon's kids' knowledge of their powers comes as a "go with the flow, gut instinct" thing, so there's little need to interact there. Additionally, due to their self-sufficiency, asking for help isn't very common. However they will be okay to assist if needed so long as it is one-on-one, and the lesson only persists for a short period. They either have one or no friends. If they have a friend, it is always someone who gives them long periods of solitude in between interactions. This is typically a child/descendant of the Underworld. While I'm sure first assumption is that I'm talking about Pluto, I was actually thinking Nox (night) or Erebus (shadows) - aspects of nature often characterized by silence, coldness, and avoidance from people, especially in the past. The closeness of the friendship depends on the kid in question, and their level of the disorder, i.e. how close to the extreme side they are. Loss of this friendship, even if the friend in question has made it to the "inner circle", generally elicits no emotional reaction. At most they may have a background feeling of loss, without any physical indicators.

The fresh water kids with SzPD:

Some of the fresh water kids have SzPD. These kids would be classified as secret schizoids. Outwardly they present are engaging and sociable. As part of the mask, they may show emotion, but they actually suffer from alexithymia, unable feel or understand their emotions, unless they are at an extreme. If they are not masking, they will likely not express these extremes. Like their stormy seas siblings, they prefer to avoid social situations whenever possible. However, unlike their destructive siblings, they do desire closeness, and often fantasize about relationships.

Despite their desires, they lack the motivation to seek friendships. When they do make friends, it's a very small number - often between one to five. Closeness is often determined by how much space/breathing room these people give them. High attention or emotional needs lead to higher levels of detachment from the relationship. They prefer parallel play as a socializing activity versus direct interaction. Loss of these friendships causes a varied response. Friends within the inner circle will elicit a clear emotional response, although it may fade quickly. Depending on the cause of the loss, they are likely to lash out, whether the emotion remains or not. Those further out will have little to no response. Because of their ability to mask, they appear to be much closer to their siblings than they are. Lack of motivation and anhedonia makes bonding hard. Their own traits limits their ability to make an emotional connection. Most bonding activities are through silent activities, like fishing, or swimming. They like their siblings, but more in a "we are related, I have to like you" kind of way. It's not typically substantial.

The fresh water kids without SzPD:

They are more in tune with their emotions than their siblings with SzPD (obviously), but typically express those emotions at extremes. So vibrant happiness is shown, visceral anger is shown, but base level feelings are less so. However, they don't have the flat affect that their other siblings have. They generally look content, rather than empty, or sad. They are capable of feeling and understanding their own emotions. They have good relationships with other people. They like helping out. Like all their other siblings, they do enjoy alone time, but need less of it to be normal. Like the other fresh water kids, they usually only have a few close friends, about three to five, but are able to be close to all of them. Loss of these friends is very deeply felt and can cause a devastating reaction, either in a directly violent way or in a "I'm turning all your fresh water to salt water and causing a drought, fuck you" kind of way. With each other, they're much more willing to engage and bond. Again, due to the prevalence of the stormy seas kids, this is difficult but these fresh water babies are understanding. They will do silent bonding activities, but also engage more in a social aspect, speaking infrequently or having them help out with something. They keep to interactive activities so that their siblings can focus on the task they're doing and don't have to focus on the bonding aspect.

With the limited loyalty aspect, the stormy seas kids exhibit it close to my thoughts on Neptune and Salacia's relationship, where, as long as that one person is in the inner circle, that is the only person they listen to. The inner circle is significantly harder to reach for people than it is with their fresh water siblings. Like Neptune, they are unwilling to change themselves, but, like Salacia, any person that makes it to their inner circle will be fine with that.

On a possessive note, they usually have the thought of "this person is mine", but the emotion is not felt or expressed. Reactions regarding possessiveness are infrequent but always surprising to others. They never know the reason they reacted in such a way. Luckily, their uncaring attitude makes the "why" of a situation unimportant.

The fresh water kids with SzPD struggle to allow people into their inner circle, as the emotional aspect makes connectivity hard. They are more resistant to changing who or how they are. Even with the inner circle, they will lash out or isolate if they feel pressured to "tame" themselves. Unlike the stormy seas kids, they are capable of removing people from the inner circle.

(Because the requirement to join the inner circle of the stormy seas kids is to accept them as they are, they have no need to remove anyone)

They are also more possessive of their inner circle than their non-SzPD siblings, due to the clash in their desire to have close relationships, and their social anhedonia. It makes them less willing to lose their friends, despite their emotional detachment. Because of alexithymia, they don't recognize feelings of possession until it becomes too glaringly obvious.

The kids without SzPD present closer to a typical child of Poseidon. The inner circle is easier to gain access to for close friends and family than it is for their siblings, but is more limited in space than it may be for a child of Poseidon. Removal from the inner circle requires a massive betrayal. Adapting themselves for the people in their inner circle is not difficult. Possessiveness depends on the situation, and/or the kid. They can recognize it pretty quick.

And there we go! 👍

[moldsporr]

I’ll go ahead and do it.

Makoto Kagutsuchi. Tell me all your thoughts about our silly little goof.

You have unleashed the beast AAAARGH

I'm gonna follow the number prompts but. Be prepared. This is gonna be long.

Okay before I talk about my first impression, you all need to understand. I went into this game almost entirely blind. The only characters I had seen were Yuma and Shinigami (of course), along with the train detectives, Swank, and the NDA (except Yakou). I also skipped the intro. I had no idea that Makoto existed. So. Imagine. I'm playing the game, all concerned about the NDA, and I(Yuma) wake up in this fancy ass bed. Immediately, I think, "is this some wattpad fanfiction? I've been sold to Raincode BTS....". I walk out of the bedroom. The cutscene starts. This skinny, naked little twink with a funky ass mask takes up my screen, giggles, does a bow, and Immediately my heart is stolen. This funky little guy has taken the top spot of my favorites. And he just continues getting better. He's SO eccentric and SO silly. He's ominous and I've decided he is best boy. Then there's the rest of the middest chapter in the game, and I'm feeling bored, then he takes a good scene with Yomi and makes it EVEN BETTER. Teasing what I thought was the big bad, immediately making all the other characters tense- he just. Commanded everyone's attention, in and out of the game. It's very rare for a character to be able to do that, and he just... does it consistently.

I have so many headcanons guys. Can you believe it. Alfie having headcanons about Makoto. Anyways! I think part of the massive walk-in closet he definitely has is dedicated to masks. The masks on his page in the art book and countless others. He also bleaches his hair. Also, I've talked about this before, but I think he had a similar relationship with the previous CEO that Yuma has with Yakou. A mentor of sorts, but definitely not just a boss and his employee dynamic. Oh, and I think he's got cool fangs. What's the point of being a homunculus if you don't get cool animalistic features. Also he is schizospec. Why? Because he's just like me fr. He's got the schizoid dilemma built into him from the ground up

Legitimately I don't think I have any complaints about Makoto. Like. There was never any point where I wasn't absolutely invested in what he was doing and fawning over him. Okay well actually I do have one complaint. Why don't I get to have gumshoe gabs with him, huh? Let me interact more with him. Maybe Yuma was feverish and shit after Makoto rescued him, so he forgot about their interactions. Please. I need it.

MAKOYUMA RAHHHHHH. Okay sorry I'll be normal. Anyway, I really like makoyuma. Sue me. My very first ship was selfcest, I guess I'm returning to my roots. I shipped them from the very moment Makoto showed up because there was just... so much he was hinting at. Of course, my initial theory was that Yuma was a homunculus and Makoto was either number one or closely related to Number One. But it was clear to me that Yuma and Makoto had SOME sort of connection, and I was right. Chapter five made me jaw drop. DESPITE ME GETTING SPOILED FOR MAKOTOS FACE. thanks Google. I still didn't realize what it meant when I saw it while trying to find a picture of Makoto to send to my friend... so it still shocked me. Anyway, Makoyuma just... has so much to it. Whether you're focusing on fluff or angst or hell, even dead dove shit. They can do it all. They're so complicated and I love them for that. They're very close to my heart. Other Makoto ships I enjoy are Makoyomi and, woah rarepairs, makoto + vivia and makoto + desuhiko. Makoyomi is a looney toons ass toxic yaoi and I think makoto and vivia would have a very interesting dynamic (not necessarily romantic), especially since... Makoto orchestrated Yakou's death. And with Makoto and Desuhiko I just like the idea of these goofballs being wacky.

Overall opinion: I have. Not been this obsessed with a character since Kiibo Danganronpa and Scaramouche Genshin. You know hyperfixations? Its like that. But I'm not autistic so it's not a hyperfixation. And mine involves adopting him into my identity. Permanently. Makoto is exactly the type of character I like and I enjoy him immensely. Stan Makoto!!!!

[esidolmail]

To the two main attractions of UNDEAD, your mentally ill autistic son requires comforting again. This is going to be heavy. I'm going to put a trigger warning here for a lot of really heavy shit.

I hate not having any other friend groups outside of the one I've stuck with my whole life. Every time I've tried to make friends with other people, it's always gone wrong because they always end up being shitty people. I don't spend a lot of time with people as is because it's so energy consuming, and I just really hate people for all of the ways they've wronged me and whatnot. So when I do spend time with people, I want to make sure it's worthwhile. I always worry when my friends start to spend more and more time with others, they'll start to spend less and less time with me and then I'll be replaced and discarded by them just like I have by everyone else; they'll find much better people to replace me and then I won't matter to them anymore because I'm basically worthless to them, right? And then it wouldn't matter if I ended up disappearing out of nowhere and never coming back, right? And if I died, they couldn't possibly care any less, right? Because I wasn't meant to be human. I wasn't meant to become friends with or be cared for by anyone. And when I choose to actually spend time with someone, I hate when they just continue to go on and on about someone else. It makes me feel like they don't want to actually hang out with me, so I just end up leaving. They don't even notice I'm gone until long after. That's how it always goes, and I know that's how it'll go again. I should've never bothered with making friends in the first place because I feel like I've just wasted my time. Again. Just like I have every other time. I never learn from my mistakes, do I? That nobody is ever to be trusted. EVER. EVERYONE is out to get me. Anyone who claims that they genuinely want me in their life is probably only wanting to keep me around because they're trying to get some sort of use out of me for something. I'm still an object and could be easily replaced with something better.

I always question whether living up to this point has been truly worth it up til now. All of my pain, all of my trauma and every single problem I've ever had can just be traced back to people. I haven't relapsed because it would be tedious to do so. If I were to, I would have to do so on a day that's a multiple of 5. Everything I do has to be in 5s, or multiples of 5. I have a lot wrong with me. OCD is one of them. You can just tell something is wrong with me, right? Like my PPD, my BPD and my schizoid traits. I can't even remember a time in my life where I was truly loved and cared for more than I was mistreated and hurt by people. I don't have any faith left in people. I think they're all liars and have ulterior motives that they're just keeping me around for.

What could possibly make any of this worth it? I've been trying to keep myself alive up til now, but I'm starting to wonder what the reason is for all of it.

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. a day or more ??? ago i watched "the outrageous okona" in several bits and pieces, and then last night i caught "loud as a whisper."

the outrageous okona: this one is...fine? i think it seems better than it actually was due to being in the first two seasons in tng

i liked okona and i really liked the plot twist about him not actually doing any crimes whatsoever but instead playing messenger boy for his buds. that part was good. appearances deceiving etc, and he pulled a very clever stunt to get them to admit the truth. unfortunately by the time i started liking him the episode was over. so.

did NOT like the "data can't be funny" plot...like, he did define a joke in an earlier episode, and it frustrated me that he seemed to have forgotten the definition and NO ONE would explain it to him. they just kept going "you gotta feel it bro"

personally, i think if data was told the definition of a joke, and had the concept of comedic timing also explained to him, he could master the art of TELLING jokes, even if he himself never felt or even understood the urge to laugh. it's just ai learning. i guess in 87 they just hadn't conceived of it.

i did like the part where guinan was like just bc you cant laugh or make other people laugh doesnt mean you're not human...it was kind of the narrative to want to be accepting of his differences...but at the same time the whole premise felt so terribly unfair to him it's not enough to save it

also, the jerry lewis moment has uh...aged. a lot of those jokes aged

speaking of data, he had several good ace moments in this episode. "sexual attraction is not a part of my programming" and "i don't believe it's true that the act and emotion of love are the same thing" etc etc. i don't know if i believe in ace data because again you cannot be making the robots ace but i do deeply respect people who do and i'm happy for them that this was in this episode. if stuff like this keeps happening you could win me over maybe. MAYBE.

loud as a whisper: WWWWOW 10/10 EPISODE.......a rare win for early seasons tng......

first of all, that one guy speaking through those other people was COOL. like at first it was a bit creepy, are they his thralls or what, are they ok, why does he keep flirting with deanna in the workplace, but after it was explained that they were interpreters and after riva got angry that picard spoke to them instead of him it was like. YES. this is the shit. his interactions with deanna became a lot less skeevy once you realize his interest is genuine and benign and he's not some megalomaniac psychic nutjob

his conversation with geordi...like yes it's a little on the nose to be like "my disability is part of me and i like who i am so i like my disability" but this was 87. some people hadn't gotten it yet. i mean hell a lot of people still haven't yk

offering geordi a cure out of nowhere when they previously said it was impossible is wack BUT I DID REALLY LIKE that even though geordi's condition causes him chronic pain he still didn't leap at the chance to have his sight restored. like that's his way of existing and being alive and nobody would choose to change it on a dime unless it was causing them nothing but abject misery...like it's such a nice way to communicate that geordi values the different way in which he sees the world

not to be like sooo personal on a fucking tng liveblog post and definitely not to be like "being blind is exactly the same as x" bc it's absolutely not but things like being ace or having adhd/a multitude of other mental illnesses have caused me so much FUCKING grief over the years but if someone came along and offered to magically fix me like...it's such a fundamental part of Who I Am and how i experience being alive that if i was fixed i might not be me anymore and you can SEE THAT like you can quite literally see the gears turning in geordi's head and it's so fucking good. i love geordi so much he's my best friend

today i still have to do "the schizoid man" and "unnatural selection" hopefully before 730pm where we will finally do "a matter of honor" and "the measure of a man" together. AUGH

[non-electrical-outlet]

12/18/24: A Bit of a Funk

I've been feeling a bit off since the weekend. Kinda feel like smoking some weed again brought back some anxiety, plus hanging out with Kilie and Cadell just kinda brought back old vibes and habits and social fears. To compare and contrast between the weekend and volunteering yesterday evening, I felt like I could be more open and expressive at clinic. However, I also felt anxious at the end of semester nursing program hangout so that makes it a bit harder to simplify. Oh, but I do think that my clothing choices contributed to the anxiety, particularly when it comes to restriction of thoracic cavity expansion.

I'm afraid to be myself around others, especially while I'm still figuring myself out. Puberty was such a wild and uncomfortable ride the first time around, and I loathe the idea of being seen as unfinished. However, this becomes a significant problem in social situations wherein I must be honest and open with myself in order to truly connect with the people around me. How can I be known and know others when I don't know and share myself?

I don't know myself. Or maybe my sense of self is too reliant on others. I keep on thinking that there's something wrong with me, I identify with schizoid personality disorder symptom descriptions, I see videos about emotional trauma from infancy and childhood and think there's something useful there for me. I wonder why I have no friendships like the ones I've seen on TV, not stopping to ask if those friendships are even realistic or achievable. I lament not having any childhood friends because I had multiple socially disruptive life events, jumping grades, changing schools, dropping out. Smoking weed for the first time, smoking more weed, doing other drugs, going wherever my fucked up brain chemistry took me, losing things, losing memories, losing my mind and finding it again.

...

This is why I keep thinking, keep saying that I need to journal more. Whenever I feel the urge to do so, and haven't done so in a while, I consistently end up feeling like I'm strolling through a tall-grass field of memories and past experiences that come up. Journaling and letting myself feel the emotions that come up seems like a good way to figure myself out, get to know myself. I sure did my darnedest to chemically inhibit myself, but it's all still in here and part of who I am. I am the person who burned all these bridges, I am the person who is so good at building new ones. I am the person who became a slave to my desires, I am the person who now questions what I truly want in life. I am shortsighted, and so I understand the importance of trying to look toward the future. I am impulsive, and so I understand the value of discipline.

I am hungry right now and really need to go grab a snack.

Anyways.

Gonna try to do my Morning Speedrun tomorrow, get some exercise, start packing.

Thought about emailing Charlie today, but didn't want it to seem like I'm looking for free therapy; Gotta examine that thought a bit deeper and see where it comes from. I want to reach out to him because I said I would. I'd like for us to be friends in some capacity. I am not a bad person, nor evil or ulterior in my desires, for wanting to continue our meaningful connection and conversations in a more peer-to-peer manner. I'll maybe try doing that tomorrow as well.

I really think that getting back on my daily habits will get me out of this funk. This feels like the same funk that I was in over Thanksgiving break, and starting those habits is what got me out of it. I've got some journaling prompts from my last meeting with charlie to think about as well.

I have the skills now to take care of my mental and emotional wellbeing, I just need to get in the practice of doing so.

[local-limebug]

vent under the cut

i hate. i don't hate anything in particular but recently, i've just been full of hatred. and i'm not even being a hater online about it. i left most of my groupchats and removed a ton of people from my instagram (self isolation ftw). i either hate all my friends or i hate myself. most likely both. i really want to get drunk on vodka, it's been so long. i need to get a job. i am tired. i want to start a fight with my friends. i wanna be bitchy. i'm definitely having some sort of episode but i've never felt this way before. guess i unlocked a new level of mental illness. i have an appointment in november with a psychiatrist for an assessment of schizoid pd. i really just wanna get out of my own head, so i've been turning to substance abuse recently. sadly, i am out of substances and underage and have no money and my older friends/family won't get me more because i've been doing it a bit too much. my mind is a very shitty place to be in these days, especially since i am currently also lacking a hyperfixation. no daydreams in my brain to cushion the bad shit.

[acespec-ed]

Hi! I'm not aplatonic, so this ask comes with absolutely no pressure, but I would love to hear about your experiences as an apl person. How did you come to identify as apl? How do you experience friendships (if at all), are friendships important to you? Is there an apl community you're part of? Is 'apple' an acceptable nickname? At risk of sounding ignorant, is there an element of "i just don't like people" in being aplatonic? Are there any questions or assumptions you're tired of hearing? I'm just curious because I've seen the definition of aplatonic come up on your blog a lot, but I struggle to imagine what life is like for apl spec people.

Again, absolutely no pressure, and im really sorry if I've been rude or crossed any boundaries by asking. And I realise that's a lot of questions! I'd be interested to hear anything you have to say.

No problem! 😊 So many questions though, I don't know where to start!

I've never been good at making friends, and I've never been bothered enough about that flaw to fix it. All my friendships started with someone talking to me regularly for some reason or another, or someone joining a friend group and taking an interest in me. I have had best friends in the past, and I considered them important people that I cared for. I have happy memories of them. But at the same time, I always felt like I needed more space than they did. Like, they wanted to hang out and talk to me A LOT. And I don't mind talking and hanging out, but I'm very introverted and require a lot of alone time. I always chalked it up to me being introverted and them being extroverted. But at the same time, they'd make the occasional joke comment about what if we lived together, which is just... something I would not want. And sometimes they'd get, like, fiercely protective over hypotheticals of someone hurting me? But I played along with that sort of thing to spare feelings. I was never sure if they were joking or serious.

And then, God, all the aphobes talking shit about QPRs being just a "normal friendship" or whatever. Saying it's normal to want to live with your friend and whatnot. And of course, I disregard those kinds of comments because, those people are being willfully ignorant. But it's funny because, the more I saw them dismissing friend-related aspec terms for being "normal," the more I'd end up looking into all these aspec terms because none of that shit is "normal" for me! So occasionally, I'd do some poking around to try and figure out what exactly is wrong with me. Because for the longest time, I thought I was just introverted. Or just asocial. Or possibly had schizoid personality disorder. I'd heard about aplatonic, but I thought that was just an aro term for not having squishes. It never once occurred to me that, even alloros can have squishes!

Anyways, one day, I don't remember why, but I was digging through the aplatonic tag here on Tumblr and a lot of what aplatonic people were saying sounded relatable. It then occurred to me that it was ridiculous to think platonic attraction was an aro-only thing. This was confirmed by seeing people say alloros can be aplatonic too. I even saw some sort of aplatonic checklist that I hit every box on. And then it just, fit!

There have been times where I’ve wondered if I’m possibly aplatonic due to childhood experiences of losing friends. In elementary school, I kept gaining friends then losing them each school year. With the exception of a neighborhood friend, I had no friend stick around me longer than a year or two. By high school I was starting to wonder what the point of getting attached to people was if they’d only ever leave in the end. Sometimes I wonder if that could’ve contributed to it. But then again, I don’t recall ever going out of my way to make a friend even before all that. There might’ve been periods of times when I was little, where I wanted a friend because I didn’t have any. But we’re talking about shit that happened 20+ years ago so fuck if I’m remembering anything right. (Then again, some apls want friends so whether I ever did or not doesn’t matter anyway.)

I'm not part of any aplatonic communities. I'm not even sure if there are any active ones. But apple is an appropriate nickname! I've come across jokes about apl = apple similar to aro = arrow. I kinda like it.

I've often joked about "not liking people." But it's not entirely true. I do need some level of human interaction. But I'm fine with that interaction being with acquaintances and coworkers. I do have my boyfriend who I consider my best friend. I'd also be fine with living with him, and I actually don't get tired being around him all the time. So he's a strange exception to all my rules. (Probably helps that he's also an introvert.) So right now, I'm satisfied with the level of social interaction I get between him and coworkers. I sometimes worry what would happen if we ever break up- how my life would look like then. Because my biggest concern is, getting older, I won't always have parents/family around to get me out of any jams I find myself in. And I'm (typically) not interested in being in a romantic relationship. So I'll probably remain single. But with no friends/family, it makes me worry about when I get old and start having medical emergencies or get in unsafe situations or even just, need help moving. That's when having friends comes in handy. And it's, like, going out to make friends would solve that problem. But it feels shitty to only want to be someone's friend JUST so you have someone to fall back on if your life goes to shit. Nobody likes that person who only calls you when they want something. And that's exactly my motivation for having a friend. But I currently don't see any signs of my relationship ending, so I'm gonna try not to worry about that stuff unless it happens.

I actually don’t have any questions/assumptions I’m tired of hearing. Because I rarely hear anyone even talking about us to come across common questions and misconceptions. (So I guess in a way it would be nice if we were talked about more?) I have seen people say it’s made up, which I hate, but people say that about every label. I guess the most helpful thing would be to acknowledge that, alloromantic aplatonics exist too! I probably would’ve embraced the label sooner if I’d heard that. Everyone just associates it with aromantics, and the vast majority of people identifying as apl seem to also be aro. Maybe that will change several years from now when it becomes more well-known.

This got long! Thanks for reading. 💛