#nobody takes my autism seriously at all

[saranitysstuff]

...aren't all of them lmao 😭

Do you have a highly stigmatized mental illness?

[drchucktingle]

I watched the 2004 Klaus Nomi documentary and his story reminded me of how you talk about creativity and being genuine. The interviewees talked about how the first time he performed with the persona Klaus Nomi at a vaudeville-style variety show in NYC in the 70s, everyone was stunned. Several of the people describing this event mentioned how the show was meant to be ironic, everyone was doing nudge-wink joking acts and goofing around, the audience/scene was apparently very cynical, but he got up and took it seriously. He was earnest, he was himself, and after a frozen moment of silence, everyone went crazy.

THANK YOU yes this is very reminiscent of what the journey of my career has been like, and this particular trot makes me very proud. all of the buckaroos who mean a lot to me artistically, from the andys (andy kaufman and andy warhol) to the davids (david byrne and david lynch) have had similar ways from 'strange' outsider to legend.

was talkin with some buds about how i think there is possibly a connection between this and my autism trot. there is a sort of ability to see a path that nobody else takes but say to yourself 'that makes sense to me, i do not really care if nobody else takes this path'. others can be bogged down with the 'right' way of doing something

so really being ridiculed like i have is this beautiful artistic TROJAN HORSE, where initially very few people take you seriously but they still let you in. they let you trot around in their brain for a while and very slowly they start to get it.

i think it also goes to show how much art is in PERCEPTION of the creator (i talk on this a lot already but this is very good example). look at something like SPACE RAPTOR BUTT INVASION getting nominated for hugo award. EVERYONE said some variation of 'this is obviously a joke and making fun of gay people and autistic people and erotica itself' and on and on. buds on the left said this, buds on the right said this. it was VICIOUS. and all the while i said 'no this is real serious art and i am doing something that goes outside of the way you see the medium itself' and that just made people MORE MAD.

but now looking back, when i presently have award winning best selling books from major publishers and so on, it is easier to see that the erotic tingleverse, as a whole, is a valid piece of art and expression that resonates with a lot of people.

really the only thing that changed was the perception of ME as a creator

anyway. i am proud of my art and where i sit in the world of artists. i like being a sort of chaotic queer punk rock force. so i cannot complain really

i will say this though. this is all a PERFECT example of how queer and neurodivergent artists have to go above and beyond to even get basic respect from both the left and the right

the years of saying 'i am serious. i am real' the years of taking vitriol, or being constantly made fun of are PERSONALLY okay with me. i am a tough buckaroo. in a strange way, that story is kind of part of the art in itself. HOWEVER we still have to acknowledge that a straight neurotypical person would NEVER have to constantly prove themselves like i have.

i dream of a world where queer and autistic artists are not harassed by one side and gatekept by the other, and believe it or not i think we are moving in a good direction. there is still a LOT OF WORK to go though

fortunately, i think there are easy ways to help. you can support outsider artists you like by reading or listening or just buying their art and puttin it on your shelf (PREORDER LUCKY DAY BY CHUCK TINGLE HERE). but ALSO, if you are an outsider yourself JUST CREATING IS SO POWERFUL. build and craft and speak your unique way into the universe. FILL THIS SPACE WITH YOUR UNIQUE WAY. THAT is how we prove love is real.

see that path that makes since to you but nobody else is willing to try? take it

[lordfreg]

Hello all,

TW for p3d0ph!l!a, z00ph!l!a

Today, I have gotten some allegations against myself for being a pedo + zoophile. This is not true.

As many of you know who are in the TMNT fandom and enjoy the spicy side of these turtles, you often get accused of this. It is unfortunate but true. I knew this was coming, but I feel like I must explain myself further.

As you know, I have a patron. This was actually made prematurely, and is sort of bad, so that will be closing shortly (I apologize). And on this patron, is the option to see "sexy turtles", but nobody has signed up for this and I have no patron exclusive content (yet).

Apparently, this is pedophilia and zoophilia.

(They have conveniently left out the "mutant" part)

This is not true. All the turtles are aged up, which I thought would be implied in the fact that I only (really) draw for the EPA au, and they are visibly, mentally and emotionally older than their cannon counterparts. I.e. wrinkles, more pronounced features, bulkier.

This may be my mistake for wording this poorly, or not taking the proper measures, but you would think the implication, and my two different art styles, would be a major difference.

Anyway, the zoophilia claim is also ridiculous because... seriously? My explanation for this is that they are not only canonically human, they also have been confirmed human DNA. Enough to make them stand on two legs, walk, talk, read, cry, enough human to make them, well.. human.

Another reason is that (rise) Donnie has autism; which is a brain malformation. This means his brain is big enough to not only be malformed, but still functioning. A real turtles brain isn't big enough to be deformed in that way, and if it was, the turtles would unfortunately die.

Continuing, I had the claim that I was "15" because I had put a 18+ only warning on my content. I am not.

AN IMPORTANT ELEMENT; I have put the 18+ warning not because of the sex, but because it contains extreme violence and triggering topics. Sex is NOT the main focus of this AU, or any of my works unless stated "this is for fun/this is because I wanted to/this is explicit" etc. My au is to delve into trauma, war, violence, sexual trauma (to both male and female), and generally bring awareness to things and help support people. It is NOT just smut.

This, again, could have been my sever lack of forethought and under-explaining my au, simply because I didn't actually know what my au would be about/contain. Again, I take responsibility for my poor wording and lack of (more) warnings.

Also, this person is actually just bullying me with my old self ship art (which i still love and adore), so... pity points?

More on myself; I'm coming to the realization (after years of being hypersexual), that sex is not a priority to me, nor is it something that I feel a strong compulsion to make/indulge in. I am not a sexual deviant, meaning I do NOT support harmful sexual behaviors. Zoophilia is actively taking advantage of animals, which I am not, and will never do.

It is unfortunate that some people genuinely cannot control themselves, but I am not one of those people.

I honestly have no idea what I've done to this person to make them put me on blast, and whatever it is, I'm sorry. I will, again, be taking down my patron page to start over, and I apologize to my patrons already, but it's sucky.

Again, sorry about this and for everyone who goes through this. I am sorry, dear friend, that you're writhing with jealousy. And I am sorry, patrons, that I have to close my patron. I love all my followers, and I try my best to send the "Thanks for the follow" to show my appreciation.

Myself and @lexiechr will continue to work on the EPA au, and that will be posted when ready.

(Also, my Instagram is now private because I don't want harassment nor people thinking I'm a bad person. I am just being bullied and bring a socially awkward idiot about it.)

Again, much love, Jorjie :3

[jane-john-doe-tournament]

Jane Doe (Ride the Cyclone) Propaganda:

Great singing, also she’s literally wearing a doll‘s head bc she lost hers

do they have their soul or is it rotting somewhere with their head?

BALLAD OF JANE DOE IS SO SAD AND SHE IS GREAT AND I ONLY WATCH RTC ONCE BUT SHES NY FAVE OK

cool asf

She forgets her name after her death and has no story told in the production

She's so sweet and deserves the world. Her song (The Ballad of Jane Doe) is great.

the song goes so hard just listen to her song guys please

she literally died and her head was cut off so nobody could tell who she was PLEASE let her take one (1) W

BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING. First she already won the tournament in the musical to regain life, as she won them over with her sad wet cat energy because she did not have a head and feared that she lost her soul. Second, she died on a roller coaster and lost her head, but stole her doll's head and thats very gender. Third, throughout the musical she is used as a vessel for religious allegory, she is an angel, she is jesus, she is a demon, she is forsaken but she is purity itself. Fourthly, she is is given the identity of Savannah with the greenest eyes after the other characters who died with her hold her a birthday party, and I think thats sweet because its probably some kind of meaning I cant see but auughfhfhh shes so cool

i mean her name isn't TECHNICALLY jane doe but we refer to her as such. she's so silly!! autism powers! i don't have a lot of propaganda tbh. i would've just been surprised had she NOT been submitted

She lost her head literally when the rollercoaster derailed. She wasn't able to be identified apart from the school uniform she was wearing.

Her name is forgotten, and so is everything about her. So she’s called Jane Doe. She’s very sweet and very creepy, but she doesn’t mean it

and im asking WHYYYYY LORRRRRDDD

I LOVE HER! she died in a roller coaster accident and was decapitated, her body not being found. in the show, her head is actually just her doll’s head. the coroners couldn’t identify her, so she was dubbed a jane doe. in the game to be alive again, she ends up being voted, her name being revealed to be penny lamb. anyways she’s a little creepy and also quite silly and she does her funny little waddle like a porcelain doll (or corpse).

She deserves it! She lost her head she shouldn't lose this too.

Not convinced you didn’t start this tournament just for her tbh

They have a great song and a true air of mystery to them. They also have arguably the best song in the musical, The Ballad of Jane Doe! I would definitely recommend listening to it >:)

—She LOST her HEAD and had it replaced with a PORCELAIN DOLL —In all seriousness her story is really poignant. No one could identify her body so she arrives in the afterlife not knowing her identity and she spends the show vacillating between depressed and angry at her situation, leading to… —“The Ballad of Jane Doe”, specifically Emily Rohm’s version, might be the most haunting solo in musical theatre history.

John Doe (Malevolent) Propaganda:

Spooky gay eldritch disaster (am I doing this right?)

Could have chosen any name for himself and picked John because a kind person called him that :)

fractured piece of an eldritch god that shares a body with a private eye after being fractured. chooses the name John Doe after said private eye goes into a coma

Because he’s an eldritch god who wants to feel human and who overcame a lot of obstacles and dangers!!! He sincerely cares about the main character!!! And he chose a name himself! Isn’t he cute??? He lost his body, he almost lost his memory, he fought for his right to exist, he loves animals, he loves his friend Arthur and I love him!

Being an ass, friendship, spooky supernatural stuff, he’s got it all

My man heard the name John Doe, realized he didn’t actually have a name, and just. Took it for himself.

I LOVE HIM. MY SON. HE’S TRYING TO CHANGE AND BE BETTER AND :(((( He’s a fragment of the soul of the King in Yellow (god of trickery and suffering iirc??) that gets trapped in a book in our realm while the rest of the King stayed in his own separate realm. When a human named Arthur Lester opens the book they get linked and John gains control of Arthur’s eyes & kills his partner (oops!). They proceed to go on a quest to find a way of separating them because neither likes the situation, and at first John (or The Entity, which is what he’s called at first) just wants to trick and use Arthur, and control his entire body (through the first season he also gets a hand & a foot) even though he doesn’t remember being The King In Yellow at the time, but Arthur makes him change and become more human. His turning point is when Arthur is shot and falls into a coma for a month. They get treated at a hospital and while John waits for Arthur to wake up so they can carry on, the body itself still gets taken care of. The time John spends alone, contemplating on humanity & everything he’s seeing and learning from Arthur, as well as the way a certain nurse speaks to him every day (specifically, she greets him good morning and good night, despite the body being unresponsive, John still hears because he is an entity linked to the body) and calls him John (they didn’t have ID on when they were found so they were classified as John Doe), changes his outlook and plans for good, and he asks Arthur to call him John; from this point on he admits he cares for Arthur, looks for his wellbeing too, and in general attempts to be a better person and to live for himself. The rest of the podcast (ongoing!!) explores Arthur & John’s relationship, struggle to survive, adventures in the eldritch… All while tackling each of their issues with themselves and each other and watching them both grow. John in specific learns to be the person he wants to be, how sometimes you’ll take a step forward and two backwards; he can be cruel and manipulative sometimes but he still tries. Personally I love his journey, it’s very realistic and you can see he is trying his best, and how he wants to be better than he was as the King In Yellow, and how much Arthur has changed him and how much he cares about him because of that; and how he’s slowly growing into being his own person :) if it ends badly ill cry so hard but!!! he’s John Doe because that’s the name he was being addressed as, and he’s made it his, and being John means he’s no longer the King and that he wants to be different, and John can fail or make mistakes but it’s part of who he is now, and that’s what matters. I am So Normal About Him

JOHN DOE (Malevolent) SWEEP

OH MY GOD JOHN DOE MY BELOVED 💛💛 (watch me just not clarify that would be so funny ahah) John doe (Malevolent) 💛💛💛 my silly He's so funny he makes Arthur bump his head into a dock because he didn't say duck in time and then laughs at him 💛💛

[velvetvexations]

Mother Velvet I just saw someone being very wrong about transandrophobia and I am being soooooo strong by resisting my desire to message them with a correction. I want, very badly, to (gently) correct their misunderstanding of what transandrophobia is and what people are actually arguing for. Unfortunately I am also of the knowledge that this is probably not a misunderstanding and that they would not listen to anything I say, and that even a gentle "hey that's not what people talking about transandrophobia are saying, that's not the conversation being had" would cause an argument that does more damage to me than just seeing them be wrong in the first place.

I want to say, no, transandrophobia isn't about men being the PRIMARY target of misogyny, that's not what we're saying! I won't say nobody is saying that because someone inevitably will have bad ideas about things, but the broad conversation around transandrophobia is that transphobes see us as women trying to be men and treating us with both misogyny (for being a woman incorrectly, and just having been born female to begin with), and malgendering us (for the crime of trying to be men, which is ontologically impossible for a silly wombyn to do and therefore must be corrected by showing that Dumb Idiot Baby Girl how impossible it is to ever really be a man). It is not, really, seriously not, about how transmascs are the real primary target of misogyny and everyone else is just collateral. It is not us wanting to be the victim, or wanting to barge into marginalized spaces and control the conversation to make it All About Men. It is not trying to argue that misandry is a systemic force. It is not equivalent to being an MRA blaming feminism for the suffering of men.

People talk a lot about how transmascs have a "toxic masculinity problem" and think that it's, like, some inherent aspect of being a man, or that we're trying so hard to be men that we uncritically repeat and reinforce toxic masculinity. As if trans people of all stripes aren't forced to perform the highest standards of their gender in order to be recognized as their gender, as if it's somehow unheard of for trans men to be forced to perform the height of masculinity in order to be recognized as men. Trans men are held to a higher standard of masculinity than cis men because we have to prove to the transphobe that we're "real" men! Cis men already have to perform masculinity to an extreme degree under threat of degendering, do people think that just doesn't exist for trans men? That it isn't worse for us (compared to the cis man) because degendering is misgendering and we have to fight tooth and nail for every shred of recognition as men? The only problem people are willing to accept transmascs have is the toxic masculinity issue, and that is at best seen as a very bad personal failing (and at worst an inherent aspect of Being A Man, and so also a personal failing for anyone who would "want" to be a man; the thought, even from other trans people, is that we "chose" this and so it's the bed we must lie in). Because we are men, because men have no problems, because transmascs trying to discuss their experiences with misogyny are just trying to take from women, trying to control the conversation and deny the reality that others are targeted too.

The idea that transandrophobia is saying we're the primary targets of misogyny is wrong, and I'm being so restrained by not saying anything to that person, not trying to correct them, because even though it's eating me up inside I would be even more hurt by whatever they say to dig in their heels as a response to me. (I sincerely hate that my autism will not let me let go of this stuff! I wish it would stop and that I could see people have Different or even Factually Wrong Opinions about the world without feeling personally betrayed but here I fucking am I guess; this isn't the first time I've come to your inbox to vent about it, I don't have anywhere to talk about these feelings so all I have been able to do with them is suffer through them until I can shove them into the little box in the back of my brain and hope I don't get intrusive reminders of them)

Y'know, I've experienced a lot of transphobic violence, from the emotional to physical. I was kicked out of my home by family members. I had to fight to be accepted as I am, and still have to fight because I don't pass, can't bind my GGG-cup breasts for medical reasons, am too disabled, too short, too mentally ill, too autistic. I was prepared for that, I knew I would be fighting an uphill battle. Trauma doesn't work right for me, I don't find stuff traumatic that should be, and do find stuff traumatic that shouldn't be; because I was prepared, because I knew what I was getting into and knew I would be happier as a man anyway, I have not been traumatized by the transphobia I have faced.

What I was not prepared for, what has stuck with me longer and hurt me more than being thrown out of my own home or threatened or beaten, was how other trans people treated me. How alone I was in a support club for the trans community at my university, in a class about trans art with nothing to show for trans men but boys don't cry and a drag race supercut from the professor's boyfriend, being told I was the wrong kind of trans for the community around me, that nobody knew what to do with me, and treated me like I was an invader desecrating some sacred soil.

In trying to talk about my suffering, I am taking up valuable space that could be given to someone else, someone who is not a man. In talking about the issues I have faced within the trans community, I am attacking trans women, trying to steal misogyny and claim I'm the primary target. It doesn't matter what I say, how gently I try to correct them, how much proof I have that those are not the conversations or goals of discussion, because that's what they want to believe about transmascs. That's the vision of transandrophobia they have. There is no way for me to change the mind of someone who willfully misinterprets what I'm saying.

I'll at least put this in the tag this so people can see it. <3

Transandrophobes are constantly assuming the most bad faith interpretations of what's being said and it's so exhausting even to observe. They're unthinking zombies reblogging second-hand shit about terms they have zero understanding of. It's infuriating just to observe let alone experience first hand.

[ihopesocomic]

Do you think bullying is considered a type of abuse? Does "bully redemption" trope can also be considered a abuser redemption? I can't like this kind of narrative at all. Not even "A Silent Voice " could convince me.

The thing is with bullying is that it is often committed by children and the overreaching fact is that hardly any adult is going to look back on their actions as a child/young adult and say yes, that totally was not cringe of me. This further compounded by the person's home life and/or if they're dealing with personal issues.

I was a pretty huge asshole as a kid and it's not like I mellowed out the moment I hit 18 either. I was dealing with a lot of stuff (i.e. such as undiagnosed autism/schizophrenia and psychologists refusing to take me seriously) and I dealt with it in a shitty manner by being this "edgy badass" online and just getting into online fights whenever I can because being deemed intimidating and scary online made up for the fact I was an insecure outcast offline.

I truly regret how I conducted myself back then. Regardless of what I was going through, nobody deserved to have to deal with me lashing out at them. It was also just embarrassing behaviour to boot.

But I do think bullying can certainly be counted as abuse and it certainly begets abusive tendencies (points to self, who was bullied throughout elementary and high school). But in that vain, I feel people respond to depictions of it in a manner that isn't exactly constructive and is borderline abusive itself, like the desire to outright commit assault or murder on said bully being depicted. lol

Because I also feel this question is also in reference to Rose and her behaviour and while I can't give much away on how we're going to handle her arc, I feel like people demanding she dies or whatever is just... Yeah, let's not. It's essentially 'I hope Vicious dies, particularly at the hands of her abuser' all over again.

It's clear Rose is growing up in a pretty unhealthy environment and is being groomed to take on a position of authority in said unhealthy environment.

I've seen the same kind of reception to irl children of cult leaders and the intent behind Rose's character is to deconstruct the fact that people - particularly children - are very much influenced by what surrounds them and will respond accordingly to it. We're social animals at the end of the day. Same goes for (anthropomorphic) lions. Not to mention what goes on in a cult that may seem alarming and disturbing to us is not necessarily the case for those within it... because they've been brainwashed into thinking it's OK. Rose is very much not exempt from this and her being groomed to become Queen by her father has only made things worse.

Anyway, my apologies, this thing got pretty long and also kinda personal and it probably also doesn't make a whole lot of sense but feeling that bullies cannot be redeemed? Totally get that. Responding to the depiction with unhealthy thoughts of child abuse or murder? I can't really get behind that. If there's room for growth and a chance for them to change rather than becoming outright established abusers as fully-fledged adults, I feel we should hope for that. - RJ

--

Like everything, it depends on how it's done. I don't know what A Silent Voice is, but some things are just too far past forgiveness or redemption. Cuz at that point its not "bullying", it's hazing. If it's teasing, or there's mutual sass happening, or heck even if one person thinks the other is bullying but it was a misunderstanding (Amity calling Luz a bully in The Owl House), and its not full on harassment, or stalking, I don't see the harm in allowing someone to better themselves and liking how they've changed, especially if they're young. And I don't see a problem with a friendship beginning at a place of conflict and grow into something strong and meaningful. I don't even think forgiveness of the bullying itself is a requirement to move on? Maybe I'm just old so I handle things differently than like a teenager would, but certain stuff just stops bothering you. People I'm still friends with to this day weren't exactly pleasant to me early on in our relationship or vice versa, but we never "forgave" the infraction and we've all just moved on because the infraction in question was never done again which is something I personally care more about. I've actually had someone from High school see me years later and apologize for how they treated me. It was just all water under the bridge at that point. But what I think about how things are handled in media is not the same thing as real people. What might not be a big deal to one person might be a big deal for someone else. Again bully redemption is something to be done with care and more often just excuses abuse which is gross. But I've seen it done right, but I wouldn't exactly call it commonplace. - Cat

[generic-sonic-fan]

Hey, weird question, but what’s a team dark fic you’d want to read but not write? For no particular reason, of course

My joke answer is the Team Dark Polycule.

The real answer would probably be just any Omega-centric Team Dark hurt/comfort fic that I don't have to write. I really am such a simple sucker for either Shadow or Rouge noticing that something is bothering Omega and then bugging him until he talks about it. I like this trope so much because it 1. highlights what kinds of things do bother Omega even if he'd never show it normally and 2. allows such a wonderful showcase of how Shadow and Rouge care about Omega. And they do care, even if it's in a way that's different than how they might show they care to a fellow organic being.

I started getting off-topic the more I kept rambling trying to describe the sort of fics that scratch my itch, so I'm putting it beneath the cut:

You all know I have my issues with any sort of explicit theming about "Omega needs to be taught the meaning of life". He's not the mindless robot (or "mascot" or "dog" or "toddler brother") of Team Dark. BUT, it is really fun to challenge Omega's judgements about how life works and his self-determined role in it. I.e. thinking that he's got an image to maintain and can't show vulnerability, thinking that nobody cares about him outside of his tactical value, etc etc etc.

Omega is wrong about a lot of things in life but he's wrong in the way that people are often wrong about those sorts of things, not because he isn't enough of a person to do anything besides spout "DESTROY ALL EGGMAN ROBOTS".

Just as so many hurt/comfort fics show Shadow learning about the world and emotions and how to enjoy being alive from Rouge/others, I would KILL for similar fics with Omega- fics that assume the same level of competence and character potential for him as they would for someone like Shadow.

Because the Sonic fandom is defined by how we take cartoon characters way too seriously. We make them undergo struggles and learn and grow like real people to touch upon very real emotions in our fanworks because it's interesting.

And Omega is the specific idiot blorbo who latched onto my brain for these purposes. Why? I have no idea. I'll blame the autism for this one.

TL;DR: team dark fics I want to read are any team dark fic where Omega is treated as a full character please and thank you the end.

[ali-anne-undertale-stoof]

I did an autism test for the Skeletwins since both of them are autistic in my AU. It's not entirely accurate since I don't think this test is actually very accurate in terms of autism traits and is more stereotypical. It doesn't really take things like masking and extroverted autistic people into account. I found that it leaned more towards the more introverted side? Either way, I've done it for the bros, and here are the results! Just don't take this seriously, this was meant for fun, after all. Here we go!

Here's Papyrus:

Here are some notes about him:

Social difficulty should be a bit higher but Papyrus is an extrovert so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯.

He has abnormal speech due to his strange vocal inflections and difficulty with volume.

He's definitely more anxious than he lets on. Poor Papyrus.

I wish the quiz took into account other sensory sensitivities too, since Papyrus' sensory problems involve touch, taste and smell more than hearing and sight.

Papyrus is more temperamental than Sans is. He stomps a lot, but he's not necessarily that aggressive. He does like to spar, though.

He likes posing.

Nobody notices it because he doesn't have eyelights, but Papyrus is quite capable of staring into your soul... or through your soul. It doesn't really get brought up, though.

Okay, onto Sans:

Some notes about him:

The test focused a lot on introversion. Social difficulty should be lower since Sans is actually really good at reading people, but he's an ambivert. Woe is me.

I think anxiety should've been higher to be honest. Little man lets his mind wander off way too often for it not to be higher. Depression is accurate, though. (At least, for now...)

If Sans felt like he was able to, he would definitely avoid eye contact given the chance. But nope, masking it is! (It hurts.)

Sans is more sensory seeking than Papyrus is. He loves weight, he loves to have his bones wrapped up, he loves to be cosy and warm... Though I've already made a fanfiction about his noise sensitivity. That's canon to my AU, by the way.

We stan a non-confrontational Sans.

Soft-spoken, monotone boy. No one gives a crap.

He does stim, but it's not as often nor is it as noticeable as Papyrus' stims are. He only really stims when he's excited or really stressed, so not that often.

I might do one for Alphys too, in the near future. She's gonna show up sooooooon. :)

[transmascaraa]

HAAIII ME AGAIN had a new idea all of a sudden

OK SO HEAR ME OUT RIGHT. hcs with gaming, scara and uhhhmm. Blade hsr with autistic gn reader!?!2?1!2??! basically like reader tells them theyre autistic, how would the charas react? would they treat the reader any different? would their view of their s/o change???

IT LOOKS RLLY CUTE IN MY HEAD OK TRUDT

+ if it isnt too much im asking here, how theyd interact w reader when they go nonverbal bc theyre upset :3

THANK U MOOTIE ALSO HOPE UR SOING WELL!!!!

multiple characters headcannons!

you tell him that you're autistic.

characters: gaming, wanderer, blade x autistic!gn!reader

author's note: alright this one and might do one more tonight it's fucking 20 minutes till 1am lmao might do a few tmrw i hope i do lol ANYWAYSSS I'M DOING GOOD THANKS I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TOO<33 LOVE THE REQQ

✧ Gaming

-so accepting fr. sweetheart. perfect bf. everything good.

-when you tell him he'd be so sweet and understanding frfr

-will literally sacrifice his whole being for you

-"you're autistic? that doesn't change anything, my dear!" he will love you eternally no joke.

-and when you get upset, you go nonverbal.

-so he spends hours trying to learn exactly what you mean by the gestures you use so thag he can help. he'll take it slow.

-he'll be patient with you.

-i promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Wanderer

-nobody knows if it's sass or sarcasm at this point.

-HE WOULD LOOK AT YOU AS IF YOU TOLD HIM THAT YOU LIKE SLEEPING WITH YOUR PILLOW ON THE WARM SIDE.

-but he'd definitely be understanding. don't trust his physical expressions.

-you'd tell him and he would say some shit like:

-"you're acoustic?" before you playfully hit him and scold him.

-throughout the whole thing, his smirk never leaves his face. fuck that idiot, sometimes, honestly.

-when you're upset tho, he's really fucking nice. it's a rare case that he ever acts nice but at times like these he knows the limit.

-nahida will teach him more about autism after you told him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

๑ Blade

-eughhh he's a complicated guy

-not like he would show any type of much reaction if you told him he'd be like "okay and?"

-sitting down beside him and telling him.

-he'll listen, sure. he'll be understanding, i guess. but his face remains neutral

-"and how am i supposed to help?" maybe he hurts your feelings js like that sometimes he will apologize with night cuddles

-but overall, he would help you. even tho he'll say he wasn't being all that nice at all but you know that deep down you keep that little bit of happiness in him

-if you're upset and go nonverbal, he will try his best to understand you and help you calm down, taking it seriously. he's really good at it

-he just wants to make sure that you're okay, nothing else matters to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i like this one

it's really good imo

i laughed my ass off while writing wanderer's one lmfaoo i hope you like it @chezsxapcake <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting my brother to eat other foods?

so my (19m) brother (14m) has an extremely simple diet of fried chicken, pizza and french fries. we both suspect he has autism (i've been diagnosed with autism and our symptoms line up) so i'm Assuming these are his safe foods, and yes it's unhealthy but it's better than nothing. but we do Not have the money to sustain his diet, it's just me, him and our mom (41) struggling with mental illness so neither of us can hold jobs for very long and mostly rely on food stamps every month, and they run out very quickly. and it's usually me or my mom making the chicken, the pizza is microwavable, and the french fries are either pre-packaged so he can put them in the oven, or i'm making them from scratch. and these have to be made alongside mine and mom's dinner. everyday. and when the food can be made by him it's all gone within a week (we buy alot at once but that drains money fast).

so the thing is. i said Assume they're his safe foods because he's literally (and i mean literally i've been with him nearly all day everyday his entire life) never eaten anything else besides simple sandwiches (we also make for him) for school lunch, so he doesnt even know what else he likes. he's tried my ramen noodles once before but threw it away immediately for what he says was "a texture thing" and thats IT and now he's averse to eating anything at all. i'm tired of having savings from what work i can do spent on him when nobody feels like doing all that cooking, when we have leftovers in the fridge of food he refuses to eat. i don't really use my money on anything else besides going out with friends every once in a while, so i kind of feel selfish not buying him food and letting him starve himself even though we have other things he will eat, he just doesn't want to make.

i also feel bad because i know he thinks he's a burden because of this and it makes him feel worse to bring it up. we've gone through a different food related problem with my mom (who's gotten better) getting upset at us for saying we don't want to eat after she complains that we have no money to eat, and it made an ED that i still struggle with so much worse and i don't want to be the one potentially doing that to him.

kindof related but it's also just bugging me, he does not do any chores. he doesn't clean his room, leaves empty (or half full) bottles everywhere, when he's making his food he uses all the oven trays and plates and piles them in the sink when i've personally complained that he could just wash them immediately, it takes 10 seconds. it's so annoying even though i'm not the one doing the dishes either (i wash all my dishes immediately after using them). it might be influencing my thoughts on his food habits even though it's not the same issue.

TL;DR we are broke with spotty income, my brother only eats chicken, pizza and french fries, rarely makes the food himself, isn't interested in eating anything else, and im getting asked to pay for takeout whenever we don't want to make his food for him. and i do not want to pay, so i feel bad.

so AITA and being selfish with my money when i should be looking out for him? and WIBTA if i got my mom to get him to eat anything else? (she thinks we can't force him but we are throughly annoyed). especially while school is out for the summer and we're not making him at least 1 grilled cheese everyday. or is my gut correct and we are seriously coddling him when he's 14 years old and should know better?

What are these acronyms?

[sigmxnd]

Frowning friends head canons NOW POOKIE 👿👹👺

i love you pookie. /p

you have no idea how long i've been waiting for someone to ask me this question

so i realized i've never actually written them all down and have just kinda been thinking about them in my head, so i'll put down the ones that have been floating around + add on if i come up with new ones

tw for mentions of smoking weed (its only once but still)

starting with them both:

they've known each other for a very long time, but got seperated a lot due to unstable housing. they reunited and have spent the most time together as adults (+ they live together)

100% make fun of and talk shit about other couples they see out and about

they are in love. they kiss and smooch and cuddle. physical affection is definitely their language. but only at home cause out there they gotta look menacing. they are happy with each other :3 (everyone else can fuck off though)

in a universe where they survived istg they have like almost a cartoonish rivalry with the smiling friends. imagine that "nice onezie does it come in men's" audio. that's them

stole their main outfits from some high schoolers but the rest they either shoplift or dig through the dumpsters for

halloween is the best only because they make stupid bets and competitions about scaring the trick or treaters only to have nobody come near their building (pim may or may not buy the big candy bars to give out on purpose)

when i'm thinking of a scenario/ship that's not gnargrim, they're in a qpr :3

i really like the idea that they love david bowie

grim:

gets frequent bouts of paranoia and generally has a lot of trust issues (especially with therapists)/low self esteem. took a lot of convincing himself that gnarly actually liked him and didn't have any hidden intentions

autistic. every character i like gets hit with the autism beam it just has to happen

gay + demiromantic/sexual

(sorry i can't think of more rn jfhwieifhe)

gnarly:

does his job good, takes it seriously, but off the clock he's probably one of the most unserious critters there is. he's my favorite of the two so i make him a lot like me🐺🌕

stoner :3

autistic. nuff said

pan/transmasc!?!?🏳��‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️‼️🧨💣🔥

his favorite mlp movie is rainbow rocks and his favorite episodes are a canterlot wedding parts 1 and 2 (cause they're MY favorites)

my furry version of him has a bent tail for a reason now and i'm writing something that has to do with it :3 (he also has a lot of scars that i've just been too lazy to draw on him that i'll mention in the thing i'm writing)

uses brainrot terms ironically/to piss people off

(while i do think that the ff and the sf would be enemies in a really funny way, i also like to think about gnarly & charlie being buddies/friendly with each other outside of work. i contradict myself all the time :3)

and thats all the ones i can think of for now. tysm for asking pookie :3

[drifloonz]

General dating headcannons for Red or Steven plz🥺👉🏼👈🏼

MY FIRST ASK FINALLY ( ok there was one before this but i didn't see that I'LL GET TO YOU LATER SORRY ) hiii . i can do that 4 u. idk if u meant glitchy or Normal Red so i'll just tack them all in one big post. we love champions who are slightly deranged ( and also red. who's like. just normal. relatively. ) i can write so much for these 3 you will regret it. some of these became general headcanons but i hope this feeds you for at least a week.

because i wrote way too much. Like. Way too much. I apologize in advance theres so much

dating headcanons for red, steven, and glitchy red!

Red

♡ of course, he's mute - whether selectively or he just literally can't speak ( or almost literally never chooses to speak ). i prefer the ladder bc red speaking feels wrong. due to this, if you know sign, he can communicate that way - but he's also really good at just like.... gesturing. it may be harder to understand at first, but the more you get to know him the more you learn certain expressions or gestures. he also makes noises, grunts(?) of affirmation, hums, things like that. he really likes making those sorts of noises actually, especially if you're dating him. he's actually pretty expressive when he wants to be, so he's not that hard to understand.

♡ on a related note, he likes to hold you ( being the big spoon... he likes making you feel comfortable and protected ) and hum against you, making you sorta feel his chest vibrate a little bit.

♡ his form of affection is very much physical, he loves to hug you and to hold your hand. even if he's the champion ( or an ex-champion? it's unclear, nobody's really stated to dethrone him iirc, he just takes breaks, vacations, and does tournaments sometimes ) he won't care about giving you physical affection in public for the world to see. especially if it flusters you but you don't seriously have an issue with it, then he loves to give you just little kisses on the cheek. when your face is red ( pun semi-intended ) it makes you look cute, to him.

♡ if you have a pokemon team of your own or are in any way interested in battling he'll love to show you the ropes or help you get better at it. he won't fight you immediately if you're not that great, but he will tell you what pokemon he thinks you'd like ( probably just . showing you ones in his pokedex or googling them idk. ) . he just loves to teach and help people get better at things bc you know battling and catching mons is this dudes special interest all the way. he even probably knows and cares about IVs and EVs and natures, but doesn't teach you about those immediately since its more advanced stuff.

♡ also yea he's autistic. All of these 3 are actually. Massive win for the autism community.

♡ if we're making strangled red canon to this red's timeline the reason he's so interested in pokemon training and battling is bc he looked up to steven who Also loved that shit to death. steven at his prime was arguably even more competitive and good than red was. to be determined though since he fucked off, but he was probably an undefeated champion until the incident. This is more of a general red hc than a dating one and also more of a steven hc but it's semirelated. if not, he probably had a lifelong interest in this sort of stuff via watching the other champions in other regions on his tv, in the news, or something like that.

♡ sometimes if you explicitly agree to it ( bc he doesn't want to give you things you don't want or don't wanna be responsible for ) he'll randomly just... give you a pokemon he caught. he just gives you it and goes 'thought of you when i saw this.' in sign.

♡ his pokemon are also naturally protective of and like you too. give them pets and treats and they will be all over you. they might even be more affectionate with you than red sometimes. red doesn't take serious offense to it, he thinks its funny tbh.

♡ his idea of dates are either entirely regular things like going to a cafe or having a picnic or it's shit like hiking up mt. silver or flying on the back of his massive fucking charizard and just seeing where the wind takes you two. he's an adventurer at heart, and if you like that then you'll love him bc one month you'll be in kanto in his house and the next you'll be in fucking galar or something. never a dull moment, really.

♡ massive cuddler. as said before. big spoon, although he won't object to being the little spoon if you really wanna. will Not let go of you unless you really want him to as well. he snores a little in his sleep, but not to a disruptive degree. it's cute. alternatively, if you don't wanna cuddle him he'll probably have plushies or a pillow he holds in his sleep instead. me, my boyfriend, and his 500 poke four-foot tall pikachu plushie

♡ he's not too much of a fashion guy but he does find matching outfits cute. honestly, he'd buy you the same or a similar hat/vest as his just bc he thinks you'd look really cute in it.

♡ he's probably taller than you. not comically, but noticeably. likes to pat your head sometimes. he finds it funny if ur shorter than him like damn. How's the weather down there.

♡ gives so many kisses. doesn't give many on the lips, actually? especially in public. he Will but not as often. he really loves kisses on the cheek in particular, giving and receiving. the loverboy...

♡ overall A tier boyfriend. big teddy bear type of guy. amazing cuddles. 10/10.

Steven

♡ assuming this is far past all 3 of his stories ( post miki and mike death, post whatever the hell he did in doors open and strangled ) how the fuck did you even start dating him

♡ regardless of the way ( i like to think that you stumbled into his home out of curiosity and he just was sort of irritated but let you stay and then became attached ), i'm assuming this is past all of that, and therefore steven has become a little less fucking murderous. if you met him earlier while he was still in a very easy to anger state, he'd probably've killed you. he knows this and he's always going on horrible thought processes of 'oh god what if i hurt them too' and that sorta thing.

♡ 100% taller than you. he's like 6'5" or taller. perhaps even Inhumanely Tall due to like missingno or something. he's usually slouching all the time due to this and he has horrible scoliosis and back problems probably. but when he stands up to his full height. jesus christ. he will def tease you, usually wordlessly and with actions, by just like. leaning on you or putting his hand flat on yours to emphasize the height difference. he thinks its funny.

♡ steven, like glitchy, is actually really social despite how he looks and acts. or at least, craves being social - or socialized with. he used to be looked up to, he used to talk to people and often, and he used to be a champion. of course, he was still a man of few words back then as well, but not as few as he is now. due to this, he'll mostly give you straightforward answers or sentences, and slowly become a bit more talkative as the relationship progresses. still, he does prefer to just listen to you talk and nod along or hum in approval... your voice comforts him.

♡ you also have to be decently far in the relationship to coax him into doing this, but he may even go out with you. like. Like out into the world. he's been so scared of how everything's changed, and of course, he does go out sometimes but he tries to avoid society as hard as he can. Do not ask steven how the fuck he got into bell tower he probably just snuck in there one night after flying to johto w miki or some shit. i like to think he himself either requested all of his info be just sort of swept under the rug after he lost miki due to feeling like he didn't deserve to be a champion without her, or the kanto league intentionally tried to make everyone forget about him after his dissapearance - since it's been so long, this has been relatively successful. only red, blue, daisy, and oak would probably know him nowadays along with some older pallet town and kanto residents probably. therefore if you wanna take him out into the world maybe avoid pallet town since it's oughta be cause for a lot of concern to the townspeople, and he really doesn't want to worry them all.

♡ despite this he does worry about the remaining residents. he never got to see red or blue go on their own journeys since he became a hermit before that happened, so he's worried about their safety. if you tell him they're fine he'll be so fucking relieved. Alternatively, they're not ( snow on mt silver and or blue tears, among other pokepastas that could've happened ) but you know. don't tell them if they aren't fine, he doesn't want to know. either way, he also feels extremely awkward about the whole daisy thing as he never officially broke up with her, he just sort of left. but obviously, he's in a relationship with you now - he just can't help but worry about her as well sometimes.. mostly just hoping that she's had a better life than he has.

♡ his voice is gruff and rough and a little scratchy from not using it that much. this won't change too much but if you're into that then well. good news for you ig. please give this man tea with a lot of honey he needs it. and he also probably likes tea more than coffee anyways for various reasons.

♡ he sometimes has nightmares about The Incident ( both miki's death, which is scarred into his brain, and murdering mike. possibly also him killing two unrelated people who were probably kids in doors open and strangled as well, but much less than his nightmares about murdering mike and miki dying. he has a lot lying on his conscious ). he'll wake up silently, probably sweating and trying not to wake you up, but if you do wake him up, just talk to him - take his mind off of it or relax him. he'll appreciate it. he'll happily do the same for you.

♡ hugs you really tightly. is not aware of his own strength or grip until you ask him to do it less. he hugs you like you'll die if you escape his arms, essentially. due to this he will also hug you a lot while cuddling, especially in bed. he doesn't want you to leave his embrace, and may even be a little tentative to let go if you ask him to.

♡ type of dude to wake up early morning, grumble something about "five more minutes," sleep in and then fall asleep with you again and then the two of you wake up at like 5 pm with major bedheads. he has a nonexistent schedule. he doesn't even sleep that often, usually opting to just stay up until he physically can't keep his eyes open. he sleeps... for very long periods of time.

♡ he likes to take walks and just roam. he did this a lot more before he killed mike but after miki died, just roaming and pacing endlessly across kanto since he had nothing else to do, and now he sort of doesn't do it out of fear of someone recognizing him.. but if you say you're gunna go on a walk he'll happily ask to join, just... expect him to not follow if you go into an area that's too public. it overwhelms him + fear of being recognized or perceived in general by people that aren't you.

♡ he has PTSD, depression, BPD, and probably more. be patient with him. he can sometimes moodswing or close himself off from you because he's scared he'll hurt you and may even intentionally push you away as a sort of mental self harm method. just give him time and be patient. he never wants to hurt you when he's like that, he's just scared.

♡ it's funny how we've gotten this far without mentioning miki that much. anyways! miki. steven still has her, still is very overprotective of her, and that does not change with you. of course he's mostly sure that miki can hold her own so he's more scared of how she might react to you, but she's perfectly fine about it. steven will often allow her to just wander on her own accord around the house, so you might have some Unintentional Miki Jumpscares, especially since she likes to follow you sometimes. going to the bathroom and then exiting? face first into colliding with miki's stomach. she's like a cat. she really likes you and is also very curious about you. steven will often allow you to take her with you if you go outside as a defensive method, even though you probably have your own pokemon. even if you don't want her to come with you she'll usually follow you outside like a dog who wants to go on a walk - or a fly - really badly. she'll also offer you random things she finds lying around like rocks or sticks. steven will often not be far behind either if you and miki are outside, since he's both very worried about you and miki to a pretty equal degree. he finds her attitude towards you very cute though, and is happy that she takes to you quite well.

♡ if you're affectionate with miki, steven will find it very cute. especially considering her whole... condition. which steven was worried about you seeing. but if you're fine with it then those worries calm down a lot. steven loves to talk about her as well - it's one of the few things you can ask him that actually will prompt him to say much more than a few sentences at a time. he will ramble about how wonderful and powerful she is and how him and her were undefeated champions of kanto... at least until the incident. miki and you are sort of the last things he has that can make him smile genuinely anymore and he loves both very much.

♡ he may talk to you, probably in one of his sort of unstable spiralling states, about the Incidents(tm) and how you should stay away from him and that he's a monster. he'll genuinely sort of break if you still show him affection after how much he tries to push you away in his unstable states. it does reassure him, but he's so confused as to why you're still even with him sometimes. all he can think of is... why would someone want a murderer like him?

♡ a lot of his skills wore down since he self-isolated for years and years. he does cook well though. just buy him groceries so not every dinner and lunch between you two is a microwave or oven meal and he'll cook for you. he's especially good at making dinners. type of dude to wear an apron with kiss the cook on it. his eating behaviors are very unhealthy ( he doesn't eat that much ) so doing this also sort of helps him get back into that. if you also have bad eating behaviors he'll try to help you out as well.

♡ fucking loves pokemon battling and being competitive, which has obviously taken a backseat since The Incident(s), but he'll be happy to help you with anything pokemon related, similarly to red. he's such a massive tryhard, or at least was, when he was still on his journey that he knows almost anything and everything about how to make your pokemon the strongest they can be - he was allegedly an undefeated champion after all. he'd happily battle with you, if uh, miki didn't have the high possibility of accidentally killing your own pokemon. and he released all of his Normal Pokemon. so. but he'll help you catch pokemon and will be happy with treating your pokemon like his own as well. he just hopes they'll all get along with miki...

♡ similarly, if you have any plans to do the gym challenge in kanto, he'll raise an eyebrow in intrigue and help you but will give you a warning of "It's been a couple years, so things might not be the same, but from what I remember..." and will straight up tell you all of their teams and everything he remembers abt each gym battle. those days were very memorable and happy for him so he remembers each triumphant victory him and miki had against each gym leader and elite four member happily.

♡ if you become the champion - of either kanto or a different region entirely, or were already - it would make things a little complicated, considering most people treating champions like celebrities and steven did Not want anybody to know you were dating him nor wanted the publicity, as it'd cause complications probably. but he'd be happy for you. it'd be very ironic though... a champion dating an ex champion... he is attracted to people who were strong though, and you were no doubt strong if you became a champion.

♡ reaaallly loves hugging you. especially backhugs. he likes surprising you with a backhug, since he's honestly pretty good at sneaking around. thinks you getting scared is a little funny, admittedly, but he'll stop if asked. like red, he also loves being the big spoon and humming so you can sort of feel a vibration from his chest. very comforting and good to go to sleep to.

♡ he sort of just... follows you around wherever you go, really. doesn't have much else to do.

♡ a fact that many people forget is that steven is canonically a gamer for better or for worse. he has so many stocked-up consoles and games and i like to think he collects them too. due to this he will happily play games with you or watch you play them happily. he will try to impress you w how well he plays certain games bc he's a bit of a nerd. he also knows glitches in a lot of games he owns #lol

♡ i like to think that pokemon cards exist in universe and he probably also just collects those. he has every charizard card to date. don't ask him how he got those, he'll just give you a Look and refuse to answer ( either paid way too much or stole them or something ).

♡ continuing the whole collecting thing he has all of his trophies and badges and adjacent stuff lined up somewhere near his bed. will happily brag to you about how he got each one in hopes to impress you, and also to reminisce on the better times. He also probably has a charizard plushie or two.

♡ if you wanna style his hair he'll allow you. feel absolutely free. he really doesn't do much with it other than lazily wash it nowadays anyways, so he doesn't mind. he likes the sensation of your hands in his hair as well... it's comforting. just try not to tug or yank his hair.

♡ he's a little overprotective and he will often try to keep you in his home. he's worried about losing you if you go outside, and he isn't too willing to follow considering his urban legend reputation within kanto. things like asking you to stay just a few more days, but he'll always say that when you mention needing to leave. if you're persistent enough, he'll let you go, but he's just worried... and very clingy. be sure to at least send him messages ( if he even has a phone ), if you intend to be gone for longer than a day.

♡ if you have a pokemon team, which, you probably do, he'll be happy to learn about and get along with each and any of them. as long as they get along with miki or are at least willing to, he's fine with them.

♡ overall very depressed man but he's also a big teddybear and loves you sooo much he just isn't good at expressing it. 10/10 ( <- clearly biased )

Glitchy Red

♡ glitchy, on the other hand from red, is Very fucking talkative. red and glitchy are like... the opposite of eachother which i find very funny. not entirely, of course they share similarities due to being generally the same person, but being trapped in a game so long made him desperate for any sort of touch, any sort of contact, any sort of socialization of ANY kind. which is why he's talkative - he may stumble over his own words or trip up on them since he's only used to speaking through textboxes, which embarrasses him. don't comment on it or he'll probably just not talk for the rest of the day.

♡ sometimes if you touch him you'll get that static shock . he'll apologize a lot if he ever does this because it's usually unintentional and just a thing that can Happen due to his whole... state. happens more often when he's upset, happens less when he isn't.

♡ his glitches seem to stutter to a sort of rhythm sometimes. if you're observant enough, these usually give away his current emotional state. he gets glitchier the more upset he is, obviously, and he gets more stable the more happy he is. so around you... he's usually pretty stable.

♡ really likes holding your hand. it assures to him that yes, you are real... and you are with him. any form of contact makes him happy, but holding his hand is just simple and nice and it grounds him.

♡ if this isn't in the pokemon universe, then i'd like to think you can play pokemon games around him and he'll just commentate on it and won't be too bitter as long as modern red doesn't show up. he probably unironically likes a lot of the pokemon he's never seen, but will just go like. "tch. whatever. pikachu's better." under his breath, since he never wants to admit he likes anything pokemon related past certain gens. he's that type of dude who'd get so unnaturally angry about dexit.

♡ he's also very judgemental about the way you play games, especially pokemon lol. he's a fucking backseat gamer oh my god. he's honestly not that actually genuine abt his comments hes just very used to bitching abt the way ppl play games due to Being in one for so long. he did it to annoy people and make them stop playing and it worked. if you get a little angry at him about this he'll notice and mumble an apology.

♡ like steven, he'll just follow you around and hang around you for most of the day. he legitimately doesn't have anything else to do, so.

♡ he doesn't need to sleep or eat, but he can still feel the sensations of taste and touch and he fucking loves finally having self-agency and the ability to feel these things. everything in his own world became extremely dull, even the pain after a point. plus he never ate food in there, so yk. due to this will eat a lot of food and will touch anything he can, intaking their textures.

♡ has autism, probably ptsd, misophonia ( especially with fucked up game noises they'll make him go into a state of pretty raw anger ), bpd, and prob more.

♡ loooves cats and cat pokemon and anything adjacent and im definitely not taking this headcanon from like several artists. really likes litten and skitty, particularly.

♡ if you let him, he loves to just touch you all over. just like. rub your cheeks. pat your head. run his hands through your hair. he's so unused to feeling any of this that he can get absolutely lost in feeling how ... real you are.

♡ he's the type of guy to chug cans of monster and then wonder why his bodys reacting poorly, glitching all over the fucking place as he has a sugarrush like response to it. he didn't even know that could Happen as a bodily response so he's just so panicky when he intakes too much sugar or caffeine until you explain that to him LMAO

♡ he'll take up like several hobbies and then drop most of them out of impatience and disinterest, but he'll try almost anything once. he does like idly cooking or cleaning since they're useful to the both of you.

♡ loves to go outside and explore. it's the red in him. if you allow him to he loves to just take your hand and walk around wherever you live. if you get tired, he'll carry you, since he doesn't really get tired - if he does, not as quickly as you do for certain. people may give him odd looks, but he could care less.

♡ his kisses feel like electricity but in the best way

♡ on a related note, kiss him all over. he'll get so flustered and he'll stutter out cute little embarrassed noises and then he'll just pull his cap over his face to hide his expression a little.

♡ ... admittedly, he's like the only guy on this list who prefers to be the little spoon, but he'll default to the big spoon just because he likes to make you happy. but the second you have your arms around his body he'll never want you to let go. he's insanely touchstarved. he's like a cat that constantly is rubbing against your leg for attention after this. please hug him throughout all times of day.

♡ despite being so talkative theres some days where he just doesn't feel like saying too much. mostly because he's tired, in any sense of the word, or overthinking or something. just be patient and loving with him.

♡ it's actually pretty easy to make him flustered or to make him smile. give him any form of compliment, praise, or touch, and his face will be red ( pun intended, again ) and he'll be smiling so large. it's really cute.

♡ his hair is sharp to the touch if he's unstable and stressed, but if he isn't it's very fluffy. run your hands through his hair and take his cap off and he'll fall asleep so quickly.

♡ speaking of, like red, since theyre... yk the same person for the most part, he also snores. it just has a sort of glitchy tone to it like his voice does. it is comforting though, and he snores a lot louder than regular red.

♡ wouldn't it be funny if he could enter your dreams while you sleep too like at the end of the og pokepasta. if you have a nightmare he just notices somehow and beats the nightmare to death and just cuddles you and helps you feel better. either that or he just gets so lonely that he just visits you in your dreams sometimes to talk to your consciousness. he probably has a lot of sleepless nights where he'll just enter your dreams to have something to do.

♡ overall, very easily embarrassed and flustered touchstarved boyfriend. he's a little moody but he's very cute. 10/10. i am never ranking one of these mfs under 10/10 because im biased.

[birdco]

Anyway here's my Licorice Cookie Headcannons.

(This is my head cannon design for him. I made the edit.)

Backstory.

-Licorice was born into the Licorice tribe; A tribe that prides its magicians and known for its strict manner. Which slowly caused a resentment of the tribe to grow inside of him.

-The Licorice tribe has been the victim of extreme prejudice for the Cacao kingdom due to its relation with the Licorice sea. This caused Licorice to hate all other Cacao tribes, specifically the milk tribe.

-Licorice's mother was neglectful of him, mostly letting him live off of history, magic and fairytale books.

-As he grew Licorice began to strive to become a famous wizard in history. And with that, his expectations for himself grew out of control.

-After finding Dark Enchantress and getting information of a growing party-The COD- Licorice turned to the Dark arts because of his insecurity.

-In his kingdom, it is highly illegal to practice Dark magic. And is punishable by a type of crucifixion. So, when found out, Licorice would be persecuted. The way was by a cursed dagger, that from impact (such as a slash.) Would set you aflame. However, after two stabs Licorice would stay alive.

-Loosing himself, Licorice brought a storm upon the Licorice tribe which would destroy the entire village. Aswell as killing all the residents, some he killed personally.

-His mother had cursed him before he murdered her. A curse that slowly killed and corrupted him, his killer being his own magic. Licorice is very much aware of this curse. Infact, he has the curse tattooed on his wrist as a joke.

Alr that's over, here's some semi important trivia.

-Licorice has tried his hardest to recreate life with pure magic. This, being represented when reviving his dead cat (That would become Bat-cat.) Then, creating his best project; Poison Mushroom Cookie. Licorice *grew* Mushroom, and serves as their father figure. He is very protective over them.

-Licorice has a SMALL obsession with Red Velvet Cookie.

-Licorice currently has a "project" going on involving resurrection. He wants to perfect his craft, and make it simple. So he will either grave rob or simply kidnap cookies (typically Red Velvet's enemies.) To test his theories.

-Licorice plans every kidnap, with from what tools to what the air must smell like.

-Licorice has undiagnosed OCD and Autism.

-The reason why Licorice is obsessed with Red Velvet is-first he wanted to power of dating his bosses son.-yet it slowly turned to a romantic obsession as their relationship progressed. What started this obsession was the first time Licorice met Red Velvet. He would taunt and built him until Red Velvet diddled him...

Alright here's the nonimportant trivia.

-IDGAF About the bts update Licorice loves metal with his dying soul.

-Licorice has a terrible sleep schedule, like seriously, he goes to bed at 3 am. (His" job "requires him to wake up at 5.)

-His role -which is rather low- is a scout. Yet at first he was a bodyguard..But that obviously failed terribly.

-Licorice melts when he sweats or gets extremely stressed. It isn't like his skin falling off, but he'll feel his body dribble and shit or smth.

-Licorice has a insecurity about his masculinity, but also embraces it at times.

-Licorice loves to cross dress- privately of course. Yet he'll possibly take photos of himself crossdressing.

-He creates the majority of his clothes because of his sewing hobby.

-There's this large x shaped scar on his chest, nobody asks about it anymore. But if they do its a apparent "exile scar."

-Licorice swears he's straight despite his love for Red Velvet. Infact he's a lil bit homophobic at times when people push into the idea of him being into men.

-Licorice has a tattoo of the Licorice Sea on his thigh (that moves up to his hips.)

-Licorice is VERY tall. This is because he wears bigass boots.

I might update this or maybe another whole ass post about more, but I'm too tired too and I'm gonna eep. Gn.

[despazito]

like i have such conflicting feelings about the pathologizing of mental illness nowadays and the culture it creates. i think the need to have ones dx, at least in my case, was driven by a fundamental urge for validation that what i’m feeling isn't just a phase or something that will sort itself out. i think women especially have had our pain and struggles so minimized, i had lows wishing i just had a broken leg so others could at least see my pain. i clung to my dx and feet like waving it to the world shouting its not just in my head!! i’m not just lazy!!

in some ways getting the dx is like getting a pedigree for your fucked up brain. like this isnt some backyard bred tiktok adhd, this is PUREBRED adhd with the papers to prove it!!! all these women like myself who were looking for a voice and affirmation through dx to prove they “aren’t just one of those girls who’s too sensitive and googled their symptoms”, but now that’s also created its own trope of “overdiagnosed girl in her 20s” and there’s a whole new stereotype to mock and invalidate. there’s just no winning, it really feels like our pain will never get taken seriously by society to matter which route we take to get heard we are dismissed.

but of course these slips of paper become vital if you need any assistance or accommodations, so they are incredibly beneficial to have.

my issue is the more i reflect, the more i do feel like many emotional disturbances or brain funkiness ESPECIALLY depression and anxiety are the result of, or at least become more aggravated, by unluckiness in your childhood relationships and the narrative we created about it. turns out you don’t need to be textbook abused to have adverse experiences, and a failure to have a healthy secure relationship to your primary caregiver fucks with you for life but nobody wants to talk about that. i do think we live in a society here in canada where parental rights to parent how their want is overstepping on the child’s right to have the healthiest possible environment to be raised in. i had spent years reading about the lifelong effects of parental deprivation or bad socialization in dogs and parrots before reading about it in humans, and i think we forget how much humans are also animals.

but the thing is you can work on relationships, you can begin to process trauma. when i tell myself “i’m a person with anxiety” it feels really loaded with a sense of finality that i will always live this way.. the more i use that language the more futile it feels about ever improving, when so often depression and anxiety are the result of deeper unresolved issues. I see so many people with phobias or fears resign to living painful lives than trying to work on any exposure or processing their fears. i’d still be miserable if i never worked through my intense fears of intimacy, i was perfectly resigned to a life of being alone and thought i was content with that.

turns out growing up with trauma can cause the same unfocused and disorganized presentation as clinical adhd.i’ll admit i didn’t like learning that one, as adhd already has so many deniers my kneejerk response was anger at my adhd being invalidated. but i think a lot of adhd people fall somewhere in between that venn diagram, and rejecting a traumagenic theory for some people’s symptoms means they will be prescribed the wrong treatment plan. and this is why all treatment plans put emphasis on talk therapy just as much as pharmacological intervention.

obviously some things aren’t the result of your childhood! your mom yelling at you doesn’t cause autism, but chances are if you’re autistic and had cruddy support you’ll face more adversities and mental health struggles than a good supportive environment. similarly, you could’ve grown up with all the love and support to thrive but one day your thyroid decides it’s time to make you feel like roadkill.

idk, what i’m trying to say is don’t corner yourself or resign from living life because of your mental health dx or think that you’ll never get better because you “have” this, chances are there’s always room to feel better. the most hurtful thing is our inner voice if it’s internalized negative language, and there’s exercises you can practice to drill more positive or at least neutral nonjudgemental language into your inner critic. because even if you have something that will never be cured, the way we talk to ourselves about it is a variable we have some power over.

the narrative part experiencing trauma is uniquely human. some people will experience horrible things and internalize the negativity or self blame, but resilient people have better prognosis because they have ability to frame things in a narrative that don’t assign self blame, and critiques the behaviour instead of the self. because so many complications and struggles arise out of kicking ourselves when we’re down. but the thing is this usually can’t happen on its own, we need to see this modeled by the people around us. but thankfully if we missed the boat, we CAN retrain that voice

anyway that’s my musings from my perspective. for anyone curious here’s a lecture that really resonated with me, its got some hard hitting truths i didn’t want to hear but sometimes you gotta hear things that make you uncomfortable

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I was walking back to the station from my placement shift yesterday and it was pretty warm. I hate the arm sleeves I'm wearing while on the ward from a sensory perspective (hate is too strong a word, but you know. It gets pretty old), but since I have visible and not-yet-healed self harm marks on my arms, I'm hardly going to walk into a psych ward showing them, and that's the best option. So of course I shucked the sleeves as soon as I was out of the vicinity of the hospital. Every other day I've put a cardigan back on, because it's been cool enough to wear one. But yesterday I didn't fancy melting, so I decided to risk it; they're almost healed, and I hope I didn't trigger anyone. (Since I'm still hiding the existence of any such scars from my family entirely, I put the cardigan back on just before I walked into my home, but luckily it was late enough it was beginning to cool down so I didn't melt into a puddle merely putting a cardigan on.)

It felt... extremely weird. Like hi. I'm in the train, and if anyone happens to look over, they'll see I'm damaged and messed up. It's no longer something I can hide - hell, I hid the scarring from a suicide attempt in August last year from my brother until a couple of weeks ago, because it was pretty minor and I hid it initially until it faded pretty well. But this more recent stuff is - not major, because so many people have so much worse, but - it will be noticeable. And pretty obvious in characteristic that it's self harm.

I used to be able to hide my issues pretty well. I swear my parents wouldn't have known even now that I self harm unless I'd told them. (I mean, mum would've figured it out that time I left my knife out in the open and she confiscated it, but anyway.)

If I ever get to becoming a midwife, every woman I help will be able to look at me and know I am or were mentally ill. Will that negate anything I can do for them? Have I ruined all the possibilities of helping people in my entire life unless I hide this stuff? Do I now exist only to trigger people?

It's kind of funny doing a placement in a psych ward, knowing that in this ward, patients are not allowed to self harm or they get escalated to a higher care ward. I have to ask every single patient I'm caring for every day if they have any thoughts of self harm or suicide. And nobody asks us, the nurses who are looking after the patients. Are we okay? Who the hell cares? This isn't about us. Nor should it be! But it's amusing, in a way.

I have cared for patients, directly or indirectly, with every single diagnosis, both physical and mental, that I have or have ever had it suggested that I have. In a way it's freeing. I think next time I see my psychiatrist I'm going to ask straight up why I even need any psychological care at this point, because I'm fine. I fully acknowledge I wasn't, for a long, long while, but this placement - it's really showing me both that I was more ill than I knew at the time, and also that apart from enduring difficulties caused by autism that won't resolve, I am now fine.

I experience normal levels of anxiety, with very occasional meltdowns (and I use the word meltdowns generously, because my panic usually doesn't reach the intensity of a meltdown). My mood is excellent. I am content with my life. I no longer meet the criteria for an eating disorder. The physical diagnoses I have are mild enough that I can function without medication or any kind of medical support, really. (I forget to take my asthma medication often enough that I know I can do without it entirely, in all seriousness.)

Yes, I still experience suicidal ideation and self harm urges at times, but those are normal for me and just things I've got to accept. I haven't made a serious suicide plan for ages, and I haven't actually tried to kill myself for more than a year now. I've barely self harmed in the past two months, and only superficially.

All my issues are in the past. I don't need help anymore, not really - and this isn't me in denial, this is cold sober honesty. It's time to move on from the 'getting help' arc, and actually living my life without psychiatric involvement.

Not entirely sure how to convince those around me, though, even though it's unequivocally true. Given that people who know me in real life have only rarely picked up on my moods and problems (unlike y'all, who get a blow-by-blow account of my life like I'm a youtube celebrity livestream), it's understandable that they may be a little hesitant about it all. But really: I'm fine. Promise.

[existsdeath]

Things nobody will tell you about ocd + a mini guide for those who recently got a diagnosis

-𝓢incerly , someone who is disabled due to it .

1. It's gonna be really fucking hard,and that's okay. it's okay to cry after your diagnosis. I'd be more worried if you didn't cry than if you did. Unfortunately for me,I didn't get the opportunity to fully process the depth of my diagnosis at 12,and I personally believe I deserved significantly more than what I got.

2. ocd has NOTHING to do with being clean,organized,or hygienic. ocd is based off of an obsession and then a compulsion,hense the name obsessive compulsive disorder. The reason this stereotype is so often enforced is because contamination ocd is one of the most common forms of ocd,which can come across as just "being clean" rather than a symptom of a deeply complex disorder

3. What are obsessions and compulsions? what's the difference between a neurotypical obsession and a disordered one?

obsessions in ocd are a type of intrusive thought that makes you feel the need to engage in a compulsion in order to relieve this feeling. Neurotypical peoples obsessions do not require compulsions to be done,and are usually not intrusive.

4. ocd is not just obsessions and compulsions, here are some symptoms directly linked to ocd that I personally struggle with :

intrusive thoughts unrelated to compulsions

delusions

panic attacks

paranoia

fatigue

hyperfixations

emotional contamination

hoarding

5. if you're not ready to take medication,DO NOT. My doctor didn't explain the side effects of the meds I would be taking, so I took them without even thinking. This ended in severe fatigue,depression,and an entire year of school missed, which I'm still trying to catch up with. If your psychiatrist encourages you to take medication,ask about the side effects,and make sure they know what they're doing.

6. Adding on to the last point, please get a psychiatrist if you can,and only accept medication from your doctor if it's your only choice. Don't go based off what people say about medication online too much,since it's vastly different for everyone. For me,sertraline was horrible,and for others,it saved their life.

7. ocd is a neurodivergence. it will deeply affect your life in the beginning,and that's okay,you'll get through it. I know it's hard,but I promise it'll get better.

8. ocd does NOT go away. ocd changes the way your brain thinks,you physically cannot recover from it in the same way you can't "recover" from things like autism or adhd. This doesn't mean you'll suffer forever,it just means you'll always have symptoms. Some of these symptoms aren't bad either,maybe by the time your 30 the only evidence of your ocd is mild hoarding & hyperfixations.

9. people without ocd do not understand ocd,especially if they're neurotypical.this goes for most people, excluding psychiatrists & and doctors, to some extent. Yes they will understand it,but they won't ever feel the pain you feel. I guess this goes with most disorders,but I always expected someone to understand my disorder,and they never did,so I think it's good you get that warning.

10. There is so much stigma,stereotypes,and lack of research on ocd. This adds to the last part about how people without ocd truly will not feel the pain you feel, and some will not even understand it.

coping !

so,you just heard all this yapping about ocd,you're probably wondering how to cope,other than getting professional help,these are some things that really helped me.

1. Getting the right therapist , doctor & psychiatrist. Pretty self-explanatory,get someone who truly takes you seriously;someone you have faith in.

2. Medication. Medication is such a huge part of coping,at least for me. I know I'd be dead without it,it truly is an amazing thing.

3. Find support groups. Find other people with ocd,usually through support groups! If you're nervous about talking irl there's tons of online ocd communities you can join on Twitter,discord,reddit,and I'm sure more.

4. Go out of your way to find representation of your disorder. This can mean finding artists with the disorder,or really just anyone you look up to. I find it very inspiring to see how much someone with the same disorder as me accomplished,while also being able to relate to their media. Some of my favorite artists who discuss ocd are Alec Benjamin and NF. You can even find certain games that talk about ocd,personally I find milk inside a bag of milk is perfect. it's difficult to explain the plot since it's very much up to interpretation,but it's the only thing that's made me feel so represented.

there's also a sequel , milk outside a bag of milk which is really beautiful , although deals with some pretty heavy topics. ( can you tell I'm hyperfixated on this game ? / s )

5. Deal with your compulsions constantly. I know it's hard,I know you're tired,but something my therapist told me that always stuck with me is that "whether or not you do your compulsions,you're going to be stressed ,so why not fight back against them so in the future you'll be at peace?"

6. do NOT give into your compulsions. ( easier said than done, I know ) you'll feel relief temporarily,and then you'll need to do it again,again,and again,and again...again...again...again... and again.

7. lean on people ( family & friends ),and take time for your mental health. Your mental health is so important,especially with disorders like these. If you think you need a break to focus on recovery,do that. Don't keep pushing yourself until you break,give yourself support first. For me,I haven't been in school since the beginning of the year ( not by choice ) and I actually don't know what I'd do if I had to go to school,I really don't know.

8. get accommodations when possible. This is a disorder,so as long as you have proof of your diagnosis you should be able to get accommodations. I know for me,I'm allowed to do school completely online,but obviously it'll depend on the severity of your ocd aswell as what your psychiatrist & therapist think.

9. I highly recommend involving your therapist & psychiatrist in school,it has helped me so much. Give them your principles contact info if possible,and let them discuss how they can help you together.

And as always,if you're feeling suicidal please call 988. It gets better and you're stronger than you think. I'm proud of you for going this long.

feel free to ask questions if you're curious!