#don't ask me anything I just think it's funny okay

[guiltyleisure]

Hello! I really enjoy your art style and your comics! Your style is very unique, and makes what you make stick in my brain longer than most posts!

I was wondering about what your thoughts were on the Interns/junior agents in the second game?

Honest thank you. General Psychonauts 2 spoilers below. Nothing major.

My feelings on them weren't very positive at the beginning. I grew fonder of them throughout the game though. But after beating the game; Them, and many other aspects were revealed to just be that. They're okay, but nothing deeper. If I had to like any of them it'd be Sam, Adam, and Lizzie. I either forget, don't care, or dislike the others.

Although, while occasionally fun to draw and think about, they suffer from from not having anything extra about their lives to latch onto, like the campers. I like sticking to and basing stuff off of canon, and there is not much canon to write off of.

Mixed feelings on them as a whole, again. I find the hazing they did to Raz a bit silly. In a negative sense. How old are they? Teenager or Adult? Doesn't matter much. At any age I can't imagine doing that to someone. Nevertheless a kid instead of someone your age. Call me new-fashioned, but I think its cruel and unusual. I don't find the scene after funny either. It's a bit weird to sit through.

And characters don't have to always do morally good actions. Doing the opposite doesn't make a character bad. I just don't see why/how we're supposed to ever like them afterwards. I don't understand how they ever get along or "become friends" with Raz. Remembering this detail really sours my opinion of them all. Unless I'm recalling wrong. Even if they aren't friends by the end, they're still at least a bit chummy. If I was Raz, I'd never interact with them again if I didn't have to.

But I'm not Raz. And he can do whatever he wants. This self-disrespecting, approval seeking kid. A kid who thinks that if he impresses the people older than him he'll be treated on their level. A kid who believes that he if he just proves himself, they'll treat him like a regular human being. And that's not unrealistic. He's 10 after all. But it makes me sad.

I enjoy these asks, really. But letting you all know now, many aspects solely about Psychonauts 2 I am not the biggest fan of. I love Psychonauts, I just think many new aspects of the sequel are contrived or boring. Not that people can't or shouldn't be fans of the stuff! Just please don't expect too much here.

I actually have a mild comic written and drafted out about them. Hasn't been worked on in a while.

[pleasantspark]

I'm start by saying the reason why people are mad about me is because I called a situation retarded. That's it.

There was no direction towards ANYONE yet somehow I'm worthy of being called racist or ableist.

I'm sorry my guy. If you're gonna use that as proof to talk shit about me. I don't think it's fine. You claim you don't want infighting happening but you're contributing to it by obviously referencing me directly. Can you please take that shit down.

Especially when I made it clear to y'all there will be no shit like that being done. People can say what they want and all but this is a prime example the community can't find a obvious solution.

I've made it clear that I don't want people to start shit. Over a word none the less. Genuinely how old are you. I was born in 2004. My mom said the n word. She can't do that. Yet I don't stop her. No one cares at all.

"but it's offensive." Anything offensive if you cope, seethe and dilate hard enough. Hazbin and Helluva is offensive to you but here you are criticizing and redesigning the characters.

If you don't support or find something egregiously offensive then you WOULDN'T be out here doing this. Oh that's right because you want to find something you want to cry about. To you, this is drama of the week.

I'm gonna make this crystal godamn clear. I do not respect anyone talking shit and stirring shit in this community. I have even less respect for people who partake in the events I host in the community.

Because you think it's oh so okay to treat my situation me as a peice of garbage based on words alone. Honey, half of you find problem with South Park. You guys are off your shit if you think this is funny really. I'll tell you what.

If I get harassment from this. I'm leaking the critical who started this shit. I'm not gonna tell you again. This person didn't even go to me directly for this issue. They violated my personal space and mocked my opinion in a post directed to sneak diss me.

I was blindsided by PEOPLE who interacted with my content blantly talking shit behind my back. This community is nothing better than the community we strive to mock for.

I was not given anything at all I was given a crying inbox and not a DM. Which I'm upset about because I had issues like these. I'm disgusted and it's only people like this who follows a rules of thee doesn't apply to me garbage.

There was a solution to this shit and y'all choice to talk shit behind my back. Given how I am t considered popular ffs nah I'm not. I'm someone whose popular as much as infamous.

I'm like. Asking you to settle this in DMs but they won't. They have me blocked and someone's sending me info. I'm asking for communication. But since you won't fucking settle this in private here's some food for thought.

My space is catered to people who can handle words. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words shouldn't have the need to hurt you. My usage of offensive vernacular is used in a way to take back control. Half of you used queer which is seen as a slur.

You don't care about slurs you just want to boot up a discourse that shipdnat have to happen. You don't like what the fuck I say? Good block and move on. Don't make a post about it. God insanely ridiculous I have to tell you once again I have Dms open. You don't learn this do you?

I'm not even joking. This shits done because I called a situation retarded. A singular situation nor a person. A SITUATION.

I've gotten hate just for mocking my own disorder, I've been false accused but this. This is peak Gen Z as a whole. Don't go to the doctors. Y'all won't handle it when they say mental retardation lmfaooo.

Congratulations. The West is truly healed by calling out someone whose just problematic of the day I am not apologizing. You refused to handle this in DMs you deserve to have this situation aired out. I'm not asking anyone to pick sides. It's just attention seeking "guise I totally care for people who are affected by words!" person.

I don't understand why people need to dund issues but they just once again prove to me the fandom cannot find genuine reason to hate me. Hate me for this you can Because you're afriad of saying it yourself. Im only getting hate from cowards who can't handle the issue in DMs. Lmao lol even. Guess I'm on the same level as Chai and Helluva then. Go back to Twitter.

[dollya-robinprotector]

also did you know that kylar actually bathes every day? he just gets greasy rlly fast, i think that's what really brings home the sopping wet pathetic cat look lmao

Really now? It's like rat is actually a very clean animal!

[revvethasmythh]

this is apropos of nothing because i've never even played the solas romance, but him just telling the inquisitor that vallaslin are slave markings and immediately offering to remove them has always been so funny to me because i just imagine hearing that would have ME like. what even are your sources, bro. "it came to me in a dream" doesn't count what are your actual fucking sources on this, this is kind of seriously impactful and i'd like A LITTLE BIT of proof before i let you do tattoo removal on my face, is all

[jichanxo]

made a tierlist of my kuwagami fics for funsies (+ notes for a few) ↓

(everything listed in the same tier are equals, so the order they're listed in has no meaning)

[volivolition]

not doing well tonight folks! but yet we persist 💪

[tardis--dreams]

Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes

[elegyofthemoon]

no one asked but the music in argenti's quest was driving insane for a while and i was wondering why only to realize that they both sound very ff13-esque.

"Cosmic Sacrifice for Love" sounds like "Giant's Fist" by Naoshi Mizuta

"A Gentleman's Fantasy"... I can't even pinpoint exactly which Masashi Hamauzu song it sounds like BUT IT USES A LOT OF SIMILAR HAMAUZU MOTIFS AND ITS REALLY GOOD LMAO just like listen to "Blinded by Light" :)

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

can people please stop filming the entire fucking world around them for public consumption? and especially random fucking strangers who you did not ask???

I work at a park and man the front desk. and I'm photographed and filmed a lot. I'm talking easily 20+ times per day. most of the times, it's parents filming me swearing in their kids as junior rangers. which. they're intending to film their kids. what they get is me and the back of their kids' heads.

there's this recurring problem that like. people forget we're real people? like yeah you're filming your kid, but you're filming me interacting with your kid. I could count the amount of times someone has asked me permission to do this in the past year on one hand. and sometimes that's after they already start filming.

Like, I'm not an actor. I did not agree to this. You could be a dick and make the argument that I'm a public figure, but I'm not. This is not a persona and my uniform is not a costume. I'm a person trying to do my job and help people and teach them about science and history. And you know what makes it harder to do that? The knowledge that anything I say or do could end up shared with thousands of people. The fact that if I fuck up the wording of this kid's junior ranger pledge, or I sneeze, or make some basic mistake, it's not just a funny or embarrassing moment for me and this one family. It could end up on tiktok.

And okay, those are the people intending to film their own kids and not thinking or caring about the collateral. What's worse is the people who film everything. A few times a week some guy walks into the visitor center, phone already horizontal in front of their face, narrating what they're doing and seeing. They come up to the desk and ask me questions, phone in my face. They take wide establishing shots of the visitor center and every visitor in it. None of us agreed to this! None of these people consented to be in your youtube video! We are not the fucking set dressing of whatever travel instagram story you're making!

I don't know where I'm going with this. This is really only the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes people ask us to repeat what we just did - swear in their kid, or explain a detail, or hand them a fucking map - so they can get a second take, and they're already filming so if we say no we look like the asshole. Sometimes we're asked innocuous things like to point out a landmark, and next week there's a photo of us in the 15,000 member Rangers Pointing at Things facebook group (yep, real thing). One time my entire 45 minute evening program was filmed without my permission and I was informed after the fact. This happens all the time, and I'm giving park ranger examples, but this happens to so many people in service work or public positions every single fucking day.

I guess just, next time you go to film in a public space, take a second. Think about who you're about to film, if they agreed to that, what might happen if a video of them went viral. there's a reason I'm not out as trans at work. And then, maybe. don't. or at least fucking ask.

[inbabylontheywept]

the fine and subtle art of arguing with old men

it was a good week for testing which meant it was a slow week for me. most of my job is fixing the machine when it goes down. if it doesn't go down, i don't have much to do. 

fortunately neither did marc. in a site full of ornery old bastards, he's the oldest and the orneriest, so it goes without saying that i enjoy spending time with him. he reminds me of my grandpa. hell, he reminds me of a lot of people. i've befriended enough grumpy old men that i've got a sort of momentum to it now - you know how it is, when you meet someone that reminds you of someone else you really like. you get to start that friendship off half built, because you already have an idea of how to like that guy, and some of that old warmth can be brought to the new friendship. a little ember to start the stove up with.

(i think that's one of the really undersold beauties of getting older. you stop viewing people as strangers and more like remixes of friends.)

anyway, i was sitting next to marc and we were talking about the future. i've got my eye on having kids sometime soon (year or two? hopefully?), and he's very happy for me. i've tried asking him for advice, but all he says is that he didn't do a great job with his own kids and they still turned out okay, so i should stress less and trust myself more. i hope he's right. he believes it, at least, and it's a hell of a thing to have the faith of an old man. his faith is hard won.

as for his plans, he's retiring at some point in the next six months, and is hoping to sell his home and buy something in florida. he's republican, so he views the state as paradise, and i'm not inclined to even try talking him out of it. it's his dream, you know? i know for a fact my paradise would be a lot of people's hell. life's funny like that.

still, we kept going on, and it was a good time, and then he reminisced about the last time he got close to quitting - back around 2020. our job required getting vaxxed, and he refused, and there was a big kerfuffle about it before the job actually backed down. i know there's not a lot of sympathy for the unvaxxed out here, but the man's 62. you get the shot when you're under 30 to protect the people around you, but when you're over 60, you're just getting it to protect yourself and it's hard to be mad at someone for kicking their own ass. 

still gave me pause though. i knew he wasn't going to take it well, but half the job of collecting curmudgeons is keeping them around, so i said 

hey. i'm sorry they bent your arm over it, but.

but. 

you should really get that shot. 

and he looked over at me, and i looked at him, and he actually spat. not on me, just the concrete, but it was enough to show that he was mad. then he walked away, as abrupt as anything.

i felt bad about it. i wasn't sure what i'd expected, when he was willing to lose his job over it before, but i'd been so invested in his dream of retirement - the idea of him sipping margaritias on a beach next to his wife, the wife he calls every day during lunch, the wife he says is the one thing in life he ever got right on the first try. the wife that almost divorced him back when he was in the airforce because he just wasn't home enough. 

(but he can be home now.) 

and then he mentioned the vax thing, and it was like seeing a pin hit a balloon. he works out every day and takes all sorts of crazy vitamins and is generally committed to getting the most out of his pension and his life. i didn't want this dumb weak point to be his achilles heel. 

---

i wasn't actually sure how long marc would be mad at me. i've seen him stay mad at some people for weeks. i wasn't sure if being friends would make that time go up or down. 

it went down. i'm glad it went down. 

he stopped being mad about two days later. we were doing front end maintenance one morning, and it was just that simple mechanical rhythm - hex key, replace the anode sheets, punch some off-gassing holes, oil it up, put it back in - that put things at ease. it always does. people working there are too busy to remember grudges, and it has this sort of mandatory practical communication that helps smooth things over. it was going great, and then out of the blue he said babs, you gotta be careful giving advice. those shots come with complications. what would you do if i got that shot, had a stroke, and died? 

and i don't know what answer he was expecting, but i just told him the truth, which is that i would be devastated. i'd feel like i killed him. i thought that was a pretty normal response, but he looked taken aback. he asked why i said it then, and i said i'd have felt the same if he died of covid. that's just life. sometimes, there's no way forward that doesn't risk some kind of regret. 

we finished the tube after that, in a silence that felt heavier than peace but lighter than anger. it felt like the ball was back in marc's court. like it would be rude to take that turn from him. 

we parted ways with a nod and didn't speak until the next day. 

---

i was doing spreadsheet work when he found me again. standard paper engineering - thinking of things we might need and ordering them in batches, months ahead of time. it always feels a little like plugging holes in a dam with my fingers. 

but he popped up, and we didn't even exchange pleasantries. he just said i'm gonna die one day, and you can't blame yourself for that. 

which is a hell of a thing to just tell someone right off the bat. 

so i said what 

and he said babs, i am in my 60s. something is gonna get me eventually, and whether it's covid or heart disease, or a stroke, there will be something you could have said or done before. and that's okay. it's not your job to make me live forever. 

and you know, he actually made a lot of sense. so i said 

okay. 

i'll keep your business yours. i just

you were talking about your retirement before this. and i want that for you very much. you've worked hard for 45 years, and you deserve a break. we're getting to sick season, and it would be the saddest fucking thing in the world if you got this close to winning the race then tripped in the last ten feet. 

and we sat there a few moments longer. i wasn't sure what to say, and i wasn't sure what he'd say, but eventually he just shrugged and said

yeah 

then he left. i figured that would be the end of it. 

---

i did front end maintenance yesterday, after being gone a week. it's one of my favorite things to do. i like working with my hands. i really like working with my hands. i'm glad i went to college, but in a different life, i think i could've made a better electrician than an electrical engineer. 

and at one step, when we were both hoisting the plate back onto the machine, his sleeve rode up, and i saw two bandaids on his arm. 

we finished the install, and i was ready to go back when marc actually stopped me. 

i got the shot, he said, almost embarrassed. like he'd been caught. and i knew he was gonna say something dumb about it, so i just cut him off by giving him a hug. 

i was relieved. hugging old men is kind of like picking up cats. if they like you a lot, they'll tolerate it, but that's about it. we sat there maybe three beats before his hands went up, and then he gave me one overly-hard thump on the back. in my experience, this is how old men tell you that they're done, so i let him go.

carla talked me into it, he said, almost defensive. his wife. his one good decision.

tell her i said thanks, i said back.

trump got the shot too, he said, less defensive, but oddly pleading. like he was consoling himself.

like he was nervous.

then it's gotta be safe, i said, and he looked up at me, strangely searching, strangely vulnerable. i don't know exactly what he was looking for, but i guess he found it because after a few moments his shoulders relaxed.

yeah, he said, one hand on the back of his head.

it's gotta be.

[queeniewithabeanie]

Adoption Privileges?

Dpxdc Prompt #44

"So is Bruce the only one able to adopt kids off the street in this family or is that a like, everybody privilege."

"Duke, what-"

Duke laughed sheepishly at Tim who was still processing what he had just asked. He could hear other conversations in the cave coming to a halt, drawback of living with a bunch of vigilantes is that they all love easedropping.

"Well? Like what's the process? Do I have to get B to get the kid or can I just take him myself. He has black hair and blue eyes if that helps, Bruce's type."

Tim was gaping now, looking like he was bluescreening. Duke would feel bad if it weren't so funny. Actually scratch that, he does feel bad, Tim hasn't moved in the last 60 seconds.

"It's just, there's this little meta boy, he can't be older than 7 and-"

"Duke leave it to me, I would love to have another little sibling that doesn't want to kill me. Wait he won't want to kill me right? Nah kids don't hate me that much. If you really think we need to get this kid of the streets..."

And Tim kept rambling and rambling on. Duke was the one gaping now, but it was only for a few seconds before he started laughing. Of course Tim's first thought would be if the 7 year old would try to stab him.

Danny's gonna be okay, if Tim has anything to say about it.

[corkinavoid]

Hey, @confused-they, this is for you and for everyone else who wanted more of this AU. Merry Christmas.

DPxDC Ring of Rage? More Like Ring of Engage [pt. 4]

[<- part 3]

[Written to 'Tantrum' by Ashnikko]

TW: mentioned mild gore (some inside parts become outside ones, nothing graphic)

Tim can't breathe.

Joker's mad laughter is ringing through the darkness of the warehouse, echoing in his head, the screeching sound straight out of nightmares. Hood should be nearby - as in, somewhere in this darkness along with him - but Tim can't think about that, his own maniacal giggles bubbling in the back of his throat, a grin tugging at his lips.

He has to get up. He has to stand, he has to fight, and it really shouldn't be this hard.

But he can't breathe.

Tim clutches his fingers on the fabric of his suit on the chest, distantly wondering if this is how Danny feels when he is more human than ghost. Probably not, he mentioned that breathing is only optional.

He really wants his boyfriend right now. His fiance. Whatever, he wants Danny, he wants his cold hands on his cheeks and the faint, humming purr of his core that Tim finds nice to fall asleep to, and-

Maybe later. He can't exactly summon him now, not in the middle of a fight, especially not in the middle of a fight with Joker of all people.

There's an angry growl somewhere to Tim's left, staticky through the voice-modulator. Then several sounds of gunshots and a gleeful, taunting yell of the madman.

Hold on.

Tim snaps his eyes open - not that anything changes, everything is still pitch-black around him - and blinks.

Why not?..

It's not like Danny is a civilian. Tim tends to pay little attention to the fact since the King of Infinite Realms doesn't hang out with the whole superhero convention on principle. But Tim is pretty sure he won't mind it this once.

Besides, Tim is so done with Joker that it's not even funny.

A few breathy chuckles escape his throat as he lets his body fully slump back on the floor and brings his left hand to his face, placing a quick kiss on the Ring through his glove. He doesn't need to do that, not really, but it's kind of a ritual at this point, and the gesture somehow makes him feel better.

"Danny," he whispers.

For a long moment, nothing happens.

Then, there's a soft, popping sound, and his beautiful boyfriend is floating right over him, faintly glowing and a little sleepy. Tim is momentarily distracted by his bare feet and pj pants with tiny rockets on them.

Danny yawns and tugs the hem of his t-shirt down as it starts to float. "Whas'sup," he mutters, rubbing his eyes and clearly not fully awake, and Tim's heart melts instantly. He loves Danny. He just... He loves him, okay? He loves that Danny didn't question his summons for a moment, he loves that he came even though he was obviously sleeping, and he loves that Danny is wearing a tee he stole from Tim.

Unfortunately, before he is able to get his shit back together, another sound of gunshot ripples through the air, and Danny startles, blinking himself awake and looking in the direction of it. Then, his eyebrows shoot up, and his mouth makes a soft 'O' shape before he turns back to Tim and tilts his head in question.

"You want me to deal with him? The clown, I mean, not your brother," he asks, and it's so casual and off-handed that Tim actually huffs a laugh.

"Sorry, I was just- I'm really tired of his ass," Tim should probably sit up, this is not a talk they should have while he is lying on the ground. On the other hand, Jason is somewhere out there, and he has guns and doesn't have a clear visual around him, so maybe Tim shouldn't sit up.

Danny hums, "Is that a yes?"

Tim just nods. He is pretty sure Danny can see him despite the darkness. "I promise it's a one-time thing, I don't plan on calling you every time one of local lunatics acts up. I just... I fucking can't with him," he admits with a defeated sigh. But, before he can spiral any further into the abyss of unworthiness, Danny's cold hands are cupping his cheeks, and his icy eyes are looking right into Tim's sky blue.

"Love, I don't mind getting rid of each and every one of your Rogues. Granted, it would probably fuck up the timeline, and Clocky would be mad, but I'd do it if you want me to, no questions asked." His voice is quiet, and Tim has never been more grateful for his domino mask, because he can feel his cheeks heating up and he doesn't want Danny to see the exact effect his words are causing.

"I- Okay," he quietly agrees, and then blinks, backtracking, "Wait, no, don't fuck up the timeline. Just deal with the laughing bitch this once, and that's it. We can handle the rest."

Danny is smiling at him in that adoring way Tim recognizes as 'I really want to kiss you, but it's not the time or place'. Then, he nods and lets go of Tim's cheeks, straightening up in the air, and his clothes shift all at once, like a magic trick.

Gone are the stretched out t-shirt and the pants with rocket ships. In their place, Danny's body is head to toe covered in stars and galaxies that hold the vague shape of armor, and there's a slightly shimmering, blueish-green translucent cape over one of his shoulders.

The Crown over his head, the sentient artifact much like the Ring on Tim's finger, appears from nowhere, and, after a brief pause - Tim swears it was debating on whether or not the situation is worth the effort - promptly sets itself on fire. Blue flames cast long shadows on Danny's, no, King's face, making him look older and his cheekbones sharper.

Before, the boy was only faintly glowing, and, evidently, the others present in the warehouse were too distracted to notice him.

But now, with the flaming Crown casting dancing shadows on the walls of the warehouse, it's really hard not to see the otherworldly being making an appearance.

"Holy fuck," Tim hears Hood's quiet, astonished voice, and almost cracks a grin.

Yeah, he wants to say, that's my boyfriend. Although he suspects he and Jason are having vastly different reactions to Danny's presence. Because Tim kind of wants to take all his words about dealing with Joker back and take Danny home, straight to bed.

...He is going to have to strangle Jason in his sleep if his reaction is similar. No, that's a wrong thought, this is so not the time for it.

"Who are you, flying glowstick?" Joker sounds rightfully pissed off by the interruption, "Does Batsy employ alien kids now?"

Danny chuckles, the starry freckles on his cheeks glowing brighter, "Okay, just because you compared me to an alien, I'm not going to completely erase you from this plane of existence."

Tim snaps his head up.

"Wait, no killing," he reminds, not because he actually cares but because B would throw a fit. Danny brushes him off with a wave of his hand.

"No worries, he'll stay alive," he smiles at Tim, and to everyone else, it probably looks like stuff of nightmares, sharp, pointy teeth and lips stretched out far beyond human capabilities. But Tim sees it for what it is: a face of mischief.

"Do I get a vote in this?" Jason's deadpan voice comes from somewhere on the other side of the warehouse at the same moment as Joker screeches in rage, "Who the fuck do you think-"

"Nope," Danny pops the 'p', and Tim is not sure if he is answering to Hood or refusing to listen to the clown's monolog by it. Maybe it's both. It's probably both.

The next moment, Danny is gone, disappeared from the place he was floating at, and Tim hears a wet, very unpleasant sound followed by Joker's scream of pain.

"You see this?" He hears Danny's nonchalant, unfazed voice above the clown's pained cries, "This is your rib, bitch- Hey, quit whining and listen to me, it's important."

There's a slap, a rustle, and a sound of ripping fabric, and Joker's voice becomes muffled, like someone put a gag in his mouth.

"You're like Adam now, you know, lacking one rib," Danny continues, "Only I'm not making you a girl out of this one, I'm pretty sure you don't deserve to reproduce. Anyway, going further down that metaphor, I'm the God almighty in this situation, so if you want to keep the rest of your ribs - and the rest of other things that are supposed to stay inside of you - to yourself, you gotta do a thing for me, okay?"

There's some muffled groans that Joker makes in response, then an enraged growl, a sound of a struggle, another slap, and then that same wet, disgusting squelch.

"Two ribs, wow, okay, you're really being difficult about this!" Danny sounds so innocently dumbstruck about it that Tim suppresses a laugh. "Are you listening now?" There's a quiet, choking wheeze that answers him, and Danny sounds quite pleased when he says, "Great."

Tim debates if he should look. He doesn't exactly want to since the sounds provide enough context, but it might be somewhat cathartic for him.

And then the air around him inexplicably shifts, becoming cold and oppressive, weighting Tim down like a heavy blanket and pushing him into the floor. The dancing shadows and the blue light of flames on the walls twist and churn, like taking aim, and Tim doesn't know what Danny looks like right now but he knows he is as far from human as possible, his voice coming with a staticky, echoing whisper, a threatening hiss slithering inside Tim's ears.

"Play your little games all you want, Fallen Jester, but know that you can not win. The punchline to your joke is long overdue, and your soul has belonged to me for quite some time now," his words are cold and uncaring, and in all the time Tim has known his boyfriend, he has never heard him speak like this: with a sense of lazy power, like he is only humoring the people around him.

Like they mean nothing to him.

"I will not kill you, or at least not here and now. My Guiding Star doesn't want to see my hands dirty with your filthy remains. Besides, death is only a moment, and you don't deserve only a moment of suffering," he huffs a short, humorless chuckle, "But, luckily, I am the Eyes of the Universe, the Titan's Bane, the King of the Dead, and everyone will meet me once their eyes fall shut for the last time," there's a smile in his voice now, full of cold and merciless anticipation. Tim feels a shiver run down his spine.

"So just you wait, Jester, and I will meet you on the other side. Then we'll see how whatever is left of your soul is going to spend an eternity."

Tim's ears are ringing with the pure, somehow gleeful hatred that laces those last words. He didn't know he could literally taste the disgust and the promise of pain, and yet, here he is, with a hint of something sour on his tongue.

And then, the heavy, weighted air that has been charged with power is lifted, the shadows and bright blue lights are all gone, and Danny, wearing his pj's and smiling, is standing over him. His feet are planted on the ground for once, and the Crown is gone without a trace, but his t-shirt is still trying to float up. The boy tugs it down again, offering a hand to Tim.

"Wanna go out for a burger since I'm already here in Gotham?"

Tim had never breathed easier in his life. He laughs a little and reaches up, taking his beautifully unhinged boyfriend's hand and standing up.

"I thought you'd never ask."

[dollishmehrayan]

# “THE WOMAN WAS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK…” ── .✦ ( batboys w an unhinged!reader and blunt!reader )

a/n: this is from my little brain of mine , and I like to honor it for @kyriakis anywhoo I’m back and omg 1k?! Alsoo guys dw! I’m gonna do the event tomorrow && I’m gonna pick out some prompts I have organized, so i didn't forget okay but i just got a lot of DMs asking when I’m gonna do it for you guyss so yeah it’s gonna be tomorrow since I’m gonna re-edit + add some ideas of your guys votes!! Tags: (batboys x unhinged!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

He’s always caught off guard but loves it. Your bluntness is a breath of fresh air for Dick, who’s so used to diplomatic conversations. You say whatever’s on your mind with zero filter, and he’s like, “Oh, wow. Okay. I respect it.”

Hates it when you don’t hold back with him. He’s used to being the charming, funny guy who makes everyone laugh, but you hit him with a “That was dumb, don’t do that again” and his brain short circuits for a second. “You can’t just say that!” “Why not?”

Finds it hilarious when you wreck other people’s egos. You have zero time for anyone’s nonsense, and when someone messes up, you let them know. Dick’s in the background, trying not to laugh. “Do you not think before you speak?!…” He’s always acts so shocked but hey, he’s kinda enjoying it unless it’s aimed at him. (He can’t fight verbally for the life of him without saying some cringe shit)

Doesn’t even try to change you. Dick knows what he’s getting into, and he loves you for it. He’s never going to ask you to ‘tone it down.’ He actually finds your unapologetic attitude pretty hot.

He’s 50% worried you’ll get into trouble, 50% impressed. But in the end, he’ll always back you up, saying, “She’s just honest. Get used to it.”

JASON TODD ── .✦

Finally, someone who speaks his language. Jason lives for the fact that you don’t care what people think. He loves how blunt you are, especially when you cut through the BS with the precision of a sharp knife.

Gets protective when people try to push your boundaries. If someone dares disrespect you, Jason’s the first one to step in. “You’ve got a problem with her? You’ve got a problem with me.”, “Jason that was so fucking cringey..”

Appreciates that you don't sugarcoat things for him. You’ll tell him exactly how it is, whether it’s about his attitude or a bad decision he made, and he respects it, it’s like the tt sound where “that’s when it hit me, it was the best idea I ever had..” but like this: “Not gonna lie, that was a terrible plan, Jay,” and he’ll just nod. “Fair.”

You guys have the most chaotic, weirdest conversations. It’s a mix of witty banter, ridiculous one-liners, and deadpan sarcasm. Other people can’t even keep up with the energy.

The idea of dating a ‘good girl’ never appealed to him anyway. He thrives off your unhinged energy. You’re unpredictable, and it keeps him on his toes, which he loves. “Yeah, you’re definitely not boring.” (Although the thing is he does love innocent people, like if you’re like gen clueless he wants preserve your innocence.)

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Tim’s brain can’t keep up with you. Your blunt, no-nonsense attitude constantly makes him blink in confusion. One minute you’re casually roasting someone, and the next, you’re giving a straight-up critique of his latest plan. He’s learning that he can’t outthink you.

He admires your unapologetic honesty. Tim has a lot of internalized doubts, so watching you casually reject anyone’s judgment is a nice contrast. You don’t apologize for your thoughts, and it’s something he secretly admires.

Constantly second-guesses himself around you. Your sharp tongue makes him want to be as confident as you. He gets nervous about saying anything that might sound soft, so when he stumbles, you’re like, “What was that? I swear you just whispered something.” And he’ll blush hard, muttering an apology.

You both have a sarcastic sense of humor that others don’t quite get. You say something outrageous, and Tim will respond with the driest remark possible. People in the room often wonder if you two are joking or just genuinely a bit rude.

Not scared to call him out. When Tim’s too nice, you’ll be like, “You need to stop letting people walk all over you. Grow some teeth.” Tim won’t admit it, but that does motivate him to be a little bolder.

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Damian is a bit taken aback at first. He’s used to people being respectful or like seeing him as kinda a role model, so when you come out with a “That’s dumb, don’t even talk to me right now,” he’s not sure how to handle it. He will stand there, blinking, while processing your bluntness. (He’s too stunned to speak 😞)

Genuinely respects your forthrightness, though. “I’ll admit, I have never met someone so… honest.” He starts respecting you even more, thinking you’re someone he can’t manipulate or charm easily.

Loves that you’re as stubborn as he is. If you’re determined about something, there’s no changing your mind. You’ll fight for your opinions even if it gets you into a heated debate. And Damian’s right there with you, arguing like it’s the most fun thing in the world.

Tries to match your bluntness. “You talk too much,” he says one day, and you immediately reply, “And yet, here you are, listening to every word I say.” Damian actually pauses for a second, impressed. “Right..”

Loves how you’ll shut down his critics with zero hesitation. Someone says something disrespectful to him, and you’ll be the first to shoot back, “He doesn’t need your advice, trust me.” He’ll give you a proud little smirk. “I like the way you handle things.”

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

At first, Bruce is a bit disconcerted by your bluntness. Bruce’s the kind of guy who expects people to be formal and classy, and you just come in with “This entire meeting is a waste of my time. I don’t care about any of this.” He blinks, then quietly admires your bravery.

Totally respects your unfiltered honesty. Bruce has had enough of the world’s games, so when you don’t bother to pretend or hold anything back, it’s like a breath of fresh air for him.

Secretly loves when you don’t play nice." He knows you're not afraid of saying what you think, and when you call him out on his brooding or overly protective behavior, he listens. “You’re right. I’m sorry for not trusting you more.” (He totally doesn’t have a tracker on your hair clip..🥰)

You both have moments of pure savage honesty that no one else gets. There’s no need for filters, and you’ll both exchange one-liners so dry that it leaves everyone else in the room confused.

Finds it endearing when you make his plans more interesting. “This is ridiculous. Why are we doing this again?” You snap at him in a room full of his board members, and he just gives you a look that says, “I’m never apologizing for you.”

[wildflowerhuggy]

Rent Free // LN4

| pairing: lando norris x reader

| summary: reader plays a tiktok prank on Lando

| warnings: none, almost excessive use of pet name "babe"

| authors note: saw this trend on tiktok and thought it would suit lando

You were sat cross-legged on the couch, your phone propped up on a stack of books on the coffee table, secretly recording. A trend of pranking your boyfriend has been blowing up on TikTok and one prank in particular had you wanting to join in on the fun. The mission: convince Lando that you couldn't help pay the mortgage this month.

The tricky part of this prank? You've never paid the mortgage before. Lando, being the darling angel that he is, insisted on covering mostly all of the bills, especially since he was earning a Formula 1 driver's salary and you were still just a student. Despite this obvious roadblock, you thought the prank was too funny not to try.

Lando was sitting on the couch across from you, humming as he scrolled on his phone. His curls were still damp from his post-workout shower, and he looked adorably cozy in one of his many oversized Quadrant hoodies.

"Babe," you called over to him, trying not to raise any suspicion while still sounding serious.

"What's up?" he questioned, looking up from his phone, eyes slightly widened due to your tone.

You took a deep breath, setting the scene, "I just needed to let you know... I can't help pay the mortgage this month."

His eyebrows shot up at this, confusion flickering across his face. "What?" voice laced with disbelief.

"I just... I just can't. I don't have the money this month," you said with an exaggerated sigh, wanting this to seem as genuine as possible.

Lando blinked at you, and just stared before the corner of his mouth began to twitch up into a smile. "Wait, wait, wait... what?" he asked again, this time following it with a small laugh.

You put on your best sad face before repeating, "I can't help pay the mortgage."

His confusion gave way to amusement as he leaned back into the couch he was on, putting his phone down fully and crossing his arms. "Help pay the mortgage? Babe, since when do you pay the mortgage?"

You bit your lip, trying not to let yourself laugh. "I'm serious Lando."

"Oh, you're serious?" he asked, voice dripping in sarcasm. He started laughing, the kind that made his nose scrunch up and tears fall from his eyes. "Babe," he gasped, "you've never paid the mortgage. Not once."

"Well, I could've been helping!" you argued, trying to keep a straight face.

"Helping?" Lando was full-on smiling now, shaking his head at you. "With what? Emotional support as I transferred over the money every month?"

"Ok, rude." you huffed, looking away and crossing your arms as if you were offended.

He stood up from his spot to come and sit with you, "Where is this coming from? Did you have a dream you were secretly paying the bills or what?"

"No! That's crazy!" you giggled.

Lando narrowed his eyes at this, and you could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he gasped, "Wait... is this a prank!?"

You froze and you knew that your eyes gave it away.

"Oh, it is! You muppet, are you filming this?" His eyes darted around the room before landing on your phone he somehow didn't notice, and he burst out laughing again.

You couldn't hold back any longer, laughing along with him. "Okay, okay, yes! It's a TikTok trend!"

He shook his head at you, still laughing as he turned off the recording.

"You muppet. You're unbelievable, thinking you could make me believe you help with the mortgage."

"I thought I was doing a good job!" You defended yourself, sliding yourself under his arm to snuggle into his side.

"Babe, you're incredible at many things but lying will never be one of them." He said, pulling you closer to him.

You pouted at this, "Well maybe I should help just to prove that I can." you suggested.

Lando laughed at you again, placing a kiss to your forehead.

"You don't need to prove anything, love. Being able to come home to you is all I need."

Your heart melted at his sweet words, and you smiled while placing a kiss on his cheek. Your prank was definitely a success, even if he wasn't fooled for long.

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[demonic0angel]

Dead Silent. One of the batfam ask Danny why he’s more clingy than his siblings and Danny just goes “huh??” Cuz he’s probably the LEAST clingy. Dan is Yandere Levels of clingy, Jazz is Ride or Die clingy, Dani is probably Stalker clingy, and don’t even get him started on their parents.

Danny, by comparison, is the normal one and I feel like that should be appreciated so much more.

(This is SO freaking funny and you're so right omg. It got long bc I got excited again lmaooo)

"You... you think I'm... clingy?!" Danny cried in shock, looking around for a camera. Were they serious? Was this actually real?

Duke said with a shrug, "Well... I mean, I always see you around Cass. We're just asking."

"I am literally the least clingy and the most normal out of my siblings."

Jason snorted from where he stood behind Tim's chair. Everyone was listening in but only Damian and Duke had the graciousness to not pretend that they weren't. Even Cass was staring, blinking as she was held in Danny's arms for a cuddle after the patrol.

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

Danny glared at him and pointed to his shadow, which stretched out beneath him from the Batcave's lights.

"One, the only reason she doesn't follow you around everywhere is because Jazz literally has Shadow following you whenever you go out." As he said this, two eyes blinked from within Jason's shadow and then disappeared just as quickly. "Two, she had all of your medical information on a file in her phone! And just information on you, period! Three, just yesterday, she blew up two ships and took down a trafficking ring by herself because she got reports that they put a hit on you! And don't even talk about how normal she is compared to me, because she definitely isn't! You just think she's a normal amount of clingy because the both of you have your brains rotted from romance novels!"

Jason made a face. It was one of great affront, grudging acceptance, and a wistful adoration. Danny couldn't even feel smug for proving him right because the look on his face was just disgusting.

Cass giggled from within his arms.

Dick opened his mouth and Danny pointed at him aggressively, clutching at Cass as he said, "You can't speak either! Dan is literally the most clingy out of all of us! You know what Jazz said?! He literally has abandonment issues and codependency!! Y'know what his name was before we came here?! It's "World Destroyer"! The only reason he hasn't done anything is because he really likes you and wants to spend most of his time watching you and keeping you safe instead of going around and causing destruction!"

Dick blinked. "But he also—"

"Wrong! He uses clones to do stuff while he keeps watch over you, and you're the only reason he has a moral code at all."

Dick made a considering face and then he smiled. "Aww, that's kinda cute. I didn't know he was so clingy."

Danny muttered to Cass, "Are you seeing this bullshit?"

She giggled again and patted at his arms that were wrapped around her neck.

Duke nodded, amusement on his face. "I see your point. But what about Dani? You're definitely clingier than her."

Danny made an error noise. "Nope! The entire Young Justice is codependent and clingy, so it just looks normal. And Dani just follows around Kon and Tim in intervals so you can't see either of them." He also grimaced at Tim, who was still working at the computer. "And Tim is already watching them, aren't you? You three are a bunch of freaks."

Tim looked up with a small smirk, much to Damian's audible disgust. "You got me there. I keep trackers and cameras on all of them. And Dani's usually just invisible."

Danny smiled triumphantly. "Hah! See? I'm the least clingy!"

There were murmurs of agreement and then Duke said, "I don't know, I think all four of you are clingy and weird."

Danny sulked. "No I'm not."

Duke gestured to all of him. "You're literally climbing Cass like a koala."

Okay, so his legs were wrapped around her waist and he was hanging onto her like a sticker, but so what? She didn't mind!

Cass snickered and said, "It's okay. He's light."

"Yeah, I'm light," grumbled Danny as he squeezed her.

Duke and Damian shared a look, as Duke said, "We should get out of here. Thank god these freaks are taken."

"Agreed. Thank goodness we are the most normal."

Now there were cries of outrage throughout the entire cave all over again.