#don’t stop doing it after like 3 days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

synthstruck · 4 months ago

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Time for me to do this again;

Remember to tag your E8 stuff as spoilers! Some people will want to go in fully blindly or might not be able to watch the episode when it comes out, so make sure you’re spoiler tagging your stuff where you can! It can be as simple as adding the #murder drones spoilers tag to your posts.

#murder drones #the generally accepted timeframe is up to 3 weeks #don’t stop doing it after like 3 days #<- edited these tags because I saw a reblog that clarified this

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numum · 2 years ago

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Any Eda, Raine, or Reada in that beautiful sketchbook of yours? And sorry about the bots stressing you out.

not in my traditional sketchbook, but i do have this raeda piece i never got around to finishing 🥺 plus an owl beast doodle

#my art #myart #the owl house #raeda #toh #tysm btw!!!!!#as for the bots they actually stopped!#i was getting 100+ per day #which was like. not normal? most ppl get like 3? and i was worried my acct was getting targeted or something #i was worried my acct would be flagged for buying followers or smth idk #so i emailed support asking if they had any idea if/why my acct was being targeted #and if there was anything i could do #first they didn’t read the email and just sent me an automated response informing me that i could just block and report 100+ accts per day #and when i replied again i got a passive aggressive response from a real person that boiled down to ‘we don’t know why you’re #being targeted’#which was rlly all i was asking?? 😭#but anyway shortly after that i stopped getting any at all #i am free!#and i apologize to whichever staff member i annoyed by asking lmao #calamitycoyote-reblogs

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danielnelsen · 3 months ago

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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs

like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something

#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping #she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window #her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day #that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better #she can probably barely see at this point #like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery #and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you #bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible #personal #like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues #last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again #not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food #it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn #i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work #but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow #so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything #and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close #which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens #and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons #my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive #like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency

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aviangrian · 8 months ago

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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!

#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically #she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11 #i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything #we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had #like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w #she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since #this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay #you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho #crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me #i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday #at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that #this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND #probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since #this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡

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breadstickz1 · 2 days ago

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hello!! i just wanted to say that i really like ur art and everytime i see it i get inspired to pick up a pen and start drawing, its so hard for me to find good fnaf artists but i just love ur work and it reminds me a lot of old bunnycat! also i was the one that drew the springbonnie on your strawpage LOL i specialize in drawing floppy eared springbonnie... (this is also my first tumblr ask and i have no clue what im doing💔💔 SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG ASK)

woah. Thank u sm!!!!!!! I’m so glad that my art makes other ppl wanna draw as well! Also that floppy ear spring Bonnie was so CUTEW!!!!!!!The fnaf fandom needs more silly spring Bonnie art

#sorry I don’t post as much as I used to do. I’ve been burnt out from drawing every other day for like 2-3 years #I’m trying to get my motivation back on. Especially with trying to learn animation again after a few months #I’m not rlly into fnaf as I used to be.#Tho this does not mean I’ll stop drawing fnaf anytime soon. I just don’t have as much ideas #anyways shoutout to msi for making me wanna draw more again

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lovestrucklovesickslut · 11 months ago

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being the oldest sibling is just this sometimes

#personal vent #it’s soooo hard to stay out of things after being the only person in the house who ever disciplined my youngest sibling #we have a ten year age gap so my parents alway joked that they were my responsibility until one day it wasn’t a joke anymore #you know how frustrating it is when your sibling doesn’t even pretend to listen to or respect your parents #they never did anything so my sibling got away with everything unless I said something #do you know how annoying it feels to have to be the buzzkill because your MIDDLE SCHOOL aged sibling doesn’t listen to anyone else #I decided to stop like 3 years ago because it was putting a huge strain on our relationship and I didn’t want to be the authority anymore #now my parents don’t say anything and I don’t say anything and my sibling gets away with stuff that I would have gotten in SO MUCH shit for #I Pretend I Do Not See It #I Pretend I Do Not Hear It #I smile and wave and everything is Fine #dear diary #I was going to say I’m on my period ignore me but #period havers we have GOT to stop dismissing our feelings just because they may or may not be a little more intense #yeah I’m on my period my feelings are still valid #eldest child #eldest daughter #eldest sibling

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seventh-district · 5 months ago

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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

#Seven.txt #writing stuff #thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe #wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life #i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever #i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel #nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao #it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts #anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months #i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff #not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck #so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally #the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit #and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better #so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic #then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot #i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again #and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline #so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done #but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy

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thatfaerieprincess · 1 year ago

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Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway

#im a rambling sam #I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work #idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably #I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go #one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today #I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this #I can #but god I don’t know #in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it #just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here #but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I #I don’t know how to step into it #sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to #start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think #we probably would’ve gotten along #but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp #idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage #little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window #I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time #when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked #and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me #and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head #now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest #when I talk to myself I’m talking to her #I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then #the assurance I still need now #I am here for her so I am here for myself #this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed

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forgotten-daydreamer · 5 months ago

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Took twice the max dose of melatonin before the final revision for tomorrow’s exam, I’m shitting my pants and I genuinely don’t know anything as thoroughly as I should but if I sleep less than 4 hrs before it I just know I’m gonna do even worse somehow

#don’t take twice the max dose of anything btw #genuinely don’t do the shit that I do #i only did it bc I know my limits and haven’t had any other substances in over 24 hrs but don’t ever try it #always talk to your gp before taking any meds and supplements at all #anyway psa aside #I want to revise for two hrs so until 1.30am circa but I genuinely hope I pass out sometime in the next hours and a half #godspeed ig #uni #melatonin #I have super high expectations but I genuinely prepared this exam in like 4 days and my brain has been all over the place #haven’t had the chance (economic too so please please consider sparing a couple of bucks for my ko-fi?) to meet my therapist in 2 weeks #been super suicidal super busy dealing with stuff and people and my family and uni and ah oh how I wish I had a brain able to focus #also the ‘visions of horror’ as I call them have lowkey turned into auditory hallucinations that never stop and it’s… tough #genuinely so tired of everything in general #I’d promised to hang with my uni friends after the exam bc I should be done my midday tops but I know im gonna be super sad and underwhelme #so I hope I can be at home by 4 pm tops with one excuse or the other #I love them all so much but I need a break. also bc I got another exam in less than a fucking week and I still haven’t started studying for #it because it’s objectively easier than tomorrow’s and because when was I supposed to study for it #I spent 3 good days working on a paper that isn’t even mine for a subject I don’t even take #a favor for a friend which turned into 3 more friends asking me if I could help them with theirs #and you know me #I never say no. unfortunately. but also I’m super glad they want my help bc they know I can write at least (one good thing)#but. that’s still -3 days available #then. the demons #wasted so many hours just pacing and biting my nails raw and being pathetic #so yeah. in a little under 15 hrs I want to be in bed again. resting until the 19th when the cycle will begin anew #also math ain’t mathing. my exam is in 12 hrs only now 13.

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robotic-maid · 1 year ago

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How things are going again… update I guess? Still can’t figure out how to read more on mobile. I’m just typing this out so it can leave my head.

#nights are really hard for me #mornings are also really hard for me #I think my jobs burning me out #and I haven’t been able to sleep very well much at all #I’ve only been getting 3-5 hours if I’m lucky because my nightmares are really bad so I usually just stay awake #I mean I have to get up at 4am anyway so what’s the point #do you know how it feels to be in pain but you can’t cry because your body’s grown so used to it?#so it feels like crying because it’s Wednesday again #which I can’t justify because tommorrow is Thursday and that is your new normal #your new normal is working so hard you don’t have the time to see your dog and your cars ac is out and you spend all your money on the room #you sleep in 15 minutes away from the office you are stuck at more than 11hoirs a day #you ask your job to adjust your schedule and they say they can’t without cutting your hours and you need the money to survive #it’s too much #but feeling this way or not feeling this way won’t make a difference because the only other options will make your living situation harder #I’m so tired but I don’t have any better options right now so I have to keep waking up and working #I feel horrible spending time with me friends because I get tired after an hour and I worry that I’ve become #too flaky or something #I can’t stay up late and I’m already stressed out so I just can’t keep up with everyone and I don’t want to be a drain #I wish my heart would just stop some times #my meds stop me from hurting myself or crying or sleeping too long but these feelings always come to me when I wake up #I’m disappointed I woke up again #I don’t want to keep doing this I don’t know how long I can keep going #my body is breaking down like my car is breaking down #I don’t want to keep doing this I need more than a day off work a week I want to see my dog I don’t want to be poor but I don’t want to #wake up just to spend all day in an office getting yelled at while my coworkers come in and leave before me #I know I can do this I know I need to keep doing this I know there’s nothing better for me than this #I shouldn’t say these horrible things out loud because they’ll just wear me down faster #there’s nothing that will help me I need to help myself #this is en endurance test and I need to keep it up because if I fail I will lose so much more than I have #I wish I could cry I wish I could break down and scream but what would be the point? it won’t help it won’t fix anything m

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doctorweebmd · 1 year ago

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Daytime me has always such high hopes for night shift me. When will she learn.

#for context I sometimes work nights as I am in healthcare #but I’m always like ‘ok if it’s slow I’ll work on research and after work I’ll go for a run and if I wake up early I’ll do x y or z)#like girl… you will be cranky and you will be lucky if you make it home without crashing your car much less actually being productive #and then like 3 days later I’m like ‘haha night shift isn’t bad! usually less busy and pays better! haha maybe I should do more of it’#short term memory Queen #….if you can tell im working nights right now. its… hmm.#don’t worry patient care doesn’t suffer all my mental and emotional faculties go into doctoring #…#okay Anna stop posting on tumblr go see some patients

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pepprs · 2 years ago

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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running #away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made #basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not #doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs #i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any #sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY #part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move #out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older #but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only #made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to #move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use #my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a #atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i #did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging #fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy #home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later #i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️

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bunibelles · 1 year ago

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Intrusive thoughts hour 😭🫶🏼

#I need to check messages more often #I think my friend who graduated visited campus #and then I message their story #and read up after thinking huh I wonder how they’re doing #ONLY TO REALIZE I WAS THE ONE WHO NEVER READ THE MESSAGES 😭😭#so ngl it’s really my fault if smth doesn’t happen #cause it’ll be sad if I missed the one day they were here #like sometimes friends drift apart cause life gets busy #I know that #but also I miss them #and honestly it’s my fault a lot cause I’m like the worst at replying #I wish I had unlimited energy but that’s not it either #I know my mom said like if u really care u’d make time #and she’s right but also #a lot of times I don’t open messages cause I want to give people 110% when I respond back #but also that just kinda stops me from messaging people right??#like a terrible cycle that’s only in my head #I know it’s not a big deal #like my friend would probably be like haha I am on campus #but the instrusive thoughts are hitting deep rn </3 #I miss u I wish I was better at reaching out I love u I hope ur doing well #small voice at the back of my head being like pls don’t forget about me #even tho girl it’s my own fault 😭#also another intrusive thought being like u only say all of this to justify not responding so honestly u could do better #and I can!!#so I should probably change this #hopefully it’s complicated… i say this a lot but it always gets back to this point #I hope people spam message me out of nowhere or don’t mind if I spam message them back #also irl stuff is actually busy cause extracurriculars are every single day 😭🫶🏼#Bella rambles

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lilgynt · 11 months ago

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i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex

#personal #fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm #ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot #after she was complaining about how mean we are to her #which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day #and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look #frumpy when we get dinner #and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what #5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ?#and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my #brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company #and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home #me #and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway #but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain #and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you #and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it #anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen

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gatheryepens · 2 years ago

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my chemistry teachers are making me go insane again….

#so usually I have 3 lessons today but my biology teacher wasn’t in #so it was a chemistry day #and I didn’t realise how much I appreciate having that break between the two lessons #since in my frees (wouldn’t recommend) I did nothing #which still feeling guilty about but it is what it #my issue is my inorganic teacher #so like dude makes us do some questions whilst he’s setting up this demo #and then we stop doing questions to watch the demo which is fine #but then we go back to do questions which takes everyone like tops 5-10 minutes to finish #and whenever someone tries to ask for help/say that they are done #he’s like I’m busy and I’m like JAOCKEIXJENJAMSMDNES #and he’s just sat at his laptop typing away #which it’s valid if he does have a lot of work to do #but like 20 minutes later he puts on the board like pages to do in the book and I’m like this took you like 3 seconds to do #why didn’t you do this earlier #and it frustrates me because he was like hey I’m gonna finish the syllabus this week #and then he’s like no it’s now next week #someone also asked him when are the bank holidays as we miss his lessons #and he’s like it’s fine don’t worry about it as they are revison lessons #and I’m like BRO the reason why you aren’t doing revison sessions after school is because you have enough time #and now it’s fine if we miss the lessons since we are just revising #but yeah the current mood of this whole week is stressed and exhaustion #it’s come to the point of me lauging uncontrollably at stuff that isn’t relatively funny #well maybe it’s a little bit funny… :3 #but like I was helping my friend with some 6 marker on photosynthesis and I kept mixing stuff up #and then just end up laughing because I was just so done with chemistry as a whole #finished the question in the end though :)#gatherrambles

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a-high-femme · 2 years ago

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rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow

#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment #I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR #and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021)#they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say #it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me #and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is #all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school #and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you #everyone keeps calling out of work #we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year #and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting.#but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB #(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me)#I have this terrible suspicion that I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school.#I just… I’m exhausted all the time #and I act like I’m not but I am #this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers)#but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it #when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking #I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today #I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons #I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to #I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7 #and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am #he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me #tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers

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