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braveclementine · 5 months ago

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Day 36

Warnings: None, Readers under 18 can read this book.

Copyright: My OCs are Coach Yonce, Emma, Ila, Tempus, and Itty Bitty. I own these characters. I do not condone any copying of this.

EXCERPTS FROM SEBASTIAN STANS JOURNAL

EVIDENCE FOR RUSSO TRIAL

JOURNAL ENTRY SEVEN:

Today was nerve racking. They went through with the rape. I heard her ask him to stop, but didn't enter the room until she screamed for me. I felt disgusted with myself for waiting so long. I'm trying so hard not to raise suspicion, but it felt so good to punch that man's face in.

Luckily, he hadn't even gotten her pants off of her, which relieved me greatly. I kissed her and I know I'm in love with her. I didn't mean to, I really didn't, but I do. I love her.

She had gotten rid of the nose chain. I preferred her face without it. She looked beautiful like this, and I told her so. Her eyes shone when I told her and she admitted she'd hated it to. I knew she had been uncomfortable with it on day one.

I kissed her again. I would write about her lips, but I want to keep that private in my head. And besides, this is more an account on the deaths, in case I don't make it out of this alive.

That's a scary thought.

I did try not letting her know that I wanted a future with her if we got out of here. It didn't seem realistic. She's so young, only nineteen. And I'm thirty-two. Not to mention I'd have to figure this out with Margarita. And the whole of the world would hate it.

But I don't care. I don't think I'm going to ever act after this.

I can't. They'll have to get a new actor for Bucky Barnes.

I'll never be able to act again. I'll always doubt what is going on.

If we get out of this alive.

JOURNAL ENTRY EIGHT:

Tempus made Y/N play through all the games. She nearly died- twice. The fact she's still alive both electrifies me and impresses me. God, but I bet she's in so much pain.

In the last round they brought in someone who I guess her friend was in her past. Y/N didn't even look surprised her friend decided to kill her over her other friend. Y/N actually thanked her.

I was on the edge of my seat until she disarmed her friend- getting herself shot in the process.

I took her back to her room. I sewed up the wound myself. I was getting better at having a tougher stomach during these things. Luckily, the bullet only grazed her.

Tomorrow we all get to leave. I'm thinking something bad happened to Henry, or maybe the police can't find us, I don't know. Or maybe we're already surrounded but they can't get in.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the scene where the Avengers break in and save the rest of the kids. I don't know how it'll actually play out. The others aren't ready, they'll fake fight like they're supposed to do.

I keep kissing Y/N. I feel like we're both going to die. It makes me wonder about my real feelings about her. If it's because of where we are, or if I truly do like her in that way.

She does keep talking about after this place. She was talking about a YouTuber that she'd introduce his videos to me. I can't answer because I don't know about after. I think she picked up on it too because she went quiet after that and then went to sleep immediately after I gave her the pain meds.

I don't want to play with her feelings. I really don't. Not after all of this. But I don't know how to not mess with her feelings when I don't know mine.

Or if we'll even be alive by tomorrow night.

JOURNAL ENTRY NINE:

I don't know where Y/N is. The others came today and she killed Tempus. Tempus had killed everyone but her and her three friends. She was going to kill Y/N, but Y/N didn't let that happen.

Y/N really had no idea who I was before this. I could see recognition in her eyes once the others came in, the other actors. I saw the hurt there too and also betrayal.

I wanted to go to her side, but she turned the gun on me. I hated seeing her cry. She looked broken and hurt. Told me to stay the hell away form her.

I think I now realize my feelings were legit. Those couple words from her felt like a stab wound to the heart.

She continued speaking, and her words told me that she thought I thought all of it was fake. That her cut off pinky wasn't enough proof that this was all real. I wanted to tell her I believed it was real. That I did think it was real. That I knew it was real.

She accused me of playing with her feelings while I let children die around us. And fuck, I knew she was right.

I called for the Russo brothers, trying to pretend her words hadn't hurt. They came, they admitted to letting Tempus take over for money. There was almost a billion dollars they were going to get paid for this game.

Then Y/N got the others out of there. She looked at me and I could barely hold her eyes because it hurt so much to see the betrayal in her eyes. She threw the gun at my feet and I can still hear the words in my head. 'It was real to me. Fuck you Stan.'

I wanted to tell her it was real to me too. I didn't want her to spit my last name out at me like it was poison. I had really liked my name falling from her lips.

Now, I'm sitting on the bus that had brought the other actors in, writing this. Downey, Evans, and Hemsworth had jumped the brothers. Hiddleston and Mackie slugged them across the face until they were knocked out.

We had to spend another couple of hours there with the police. They never brought back Y/N or the other girls. I knew we were in the middle of Death Valley, California. If they ran the wrong way. . .

They promised to put out searches for the girls. I hope they find them. Even if Y/N never wants to even look at me again, as long as she's okay and alive, that's all I care about right now.

The others tried speaking to me. Some of them are still trying to speak to me. Johansson can't shut up, trying to be sympathetic about everything I had to go through. But I was treated fine. I'm not the one dead. I'm not the one with my pinky cut off. I'm not the one that was almost raped. But they're treating me like the victim.

Well, Downey, Cumberbatch, and Hiddleston aren't. Downey has been on the phone for ages. I don't know who he's calling, but he's angry.

Evans got me a phone so I could call Margarita. Still haven't. Can't bring myself to.

God, please bring Y/N in safely. Please.

⬅️➡️

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alsahm · 11 months ago

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i want to make a post about this actually.

this post talks about weed, cops, panic, hospitals, and suicide.

i have diabetes, chronic pain, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. i take edibles sometimes to make life more tolerable. i tried a new one friday night bc the long weekend would give me time to recover if it was too strong. hurt my neck carrying something and felt searing, burning pain throughout my entire body, so i figured it was time for bed.

my heart rate was insane and i literally felt the world caving in on me. i thought my right side was becoming paralyzed. i thought i was dying. i recited the shahada. called my partner, who was two hours away, and he asked if i needed to call 911. i said yes. i called..

okay, i needed to go outside. should I take my bag? i can't find it. where is my cat? oh, i should close the door so she doesn't accidentally leave the house...

on the phone, my partner tells me to take square breaths. i go, "A-B-C-D — no, that's wrong, ا - ب - ت, no —"

i go outside. cops showed up first. i explain.

"yeah, you're high. you should just go inside and go to sleep. who are you talking to?"

i am high, so the world is sort of lagging around me, but i know that's not what this is. but now i'm embarrassed. why did i have to do this now, on a day when he is so tired? but he would never say that, i'm sick, why am i -

"i feel like i'm dying. i'm really scared. my partner - he's driving up from kansas city."

"okay, well the hospital can't do anything for you. you're just high and need to ride it out. have you ever taken delta 8 before?"

"i know - but - i'm so scared - " this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

"you're high. he has 10 seconds to decide whether you want to go to the hospital or not. the ambulance is on its way."

"what? do you need my consent or something?" this is. the worst thing. that has ever happened to me.

"they're not gonna do anything. do you want to go?"

"yes."

they shame me more. eventually i get on an ambulance and i'm crying. they're taking me to a hospital i haven't heard of before. out-of-network?

my vitals are fine except my heart rate is 140. and my BP is high. and i won't stop crying.

"how much did you take?"

"i don't know, half of one, this big. the packet is in my desk if you want to see."

they don't. seems like it's not even that much. at least the paramedics aren't laughing at me. we go to the hospital.

"have you taken marijuana before?"

"yes - this is different, i -"

"you're just gonna have to ride it out, okay?"

sluggishly, i think of the knife in my kitchen. i wonder, "did i try to kill myself?"

my glucose is high. 300 something. they say i should follow up with my primary care.

is this really happening? where is my partner? i am pinching myself and it hurts. i tell the doctors that everything, everything hurts and i'm so tired and so so scared. this is 10/10 pain. please, please help me. i'm so scared.

the hospital is one i've never been to, so they don't have any records on me. they get my name wrong. they don't ask for a personal contact. no one asks me what meds i'm taking. no PHQ9. if you're curious, 24. i'm tapering down venlafaxine. just stopped mirtazapine. just tapered off guanfacine. prazosin for screaming nightmares, oh, god, is this one? where is my partner? what is happening to me? did i try to kill myself?

i. was. having. a panic attack.

you can be high and have a panic attack. in fact it's common!

you can be trying a new drug regiment and have a panic attack. also well-documented!

your drugs can interact with each other.

you can just have a panic attack.

i was home alone and thought i was dying and called 911 like every search, paper, phone answering service, etc., told me to do.

the doctors said, "technically, this is an overdose. we are going to give you an IV to get your heart rate down, okay?"

okay. okay. is this really happening? when that door opens and my partner will finally be there, that is when i will know this is reality. that is when i will feel safe and everything will stop spinning.

my phone is ringing somewhere? don't know where it is though...

he's here.

oh, god, he is here, and i'm sobbing. and he is holding me, and i am so tired, no one is listening to me here, and no one even told him where i was so he went to a different ER first, and on his way here a cop pulled him over because he was speeding, and, oh my god, i was so, so scared, i love you, you were worried about me, you're not mad, i thought i tried to kill myself and i couldn't—

he is so mad at the cops, at the doctors. he loves me so much. i am safe i am safe i am safe.

finally, time to go home. doctor says again, your glucose is high, follow up with your primary care. here's where you can get one of those. and get that pain looked into.

they don't ask him my medical history either. he has access to an entire document i set up just in case of this situation.

okay, sure. of course that's not something i'm already doing or anything, right? i'm an amateur weed-haver.

After Visit Summary®.

reason for visit: anxiety.

diagnosis: cannabis overdose.

if you ever have thoughts of suicide, tell yourself not to do it. call 911 if it gets bad.

this hospital is out of network. will they cover this emergency visit i consented to? idk. will i lose my job because i was diagnosed with weed during a severe panic attack and pain flare-up? who knows.

do i have any trust in our emergency medical system as a chronically physically and mentally ill person? no.

#endless asa

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trappedbeautyunleashed · 2 years ago

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I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore and I’m scared I’ll never find her… I’ve been in such a bad mental space that I can’t even explain it, it’s so exhausting just to wake up and go through the days motions but I'm used to it, and how bad it is, and how often it's so bad that it rings like a bell inside of me, drowning out everything around me. The truth is that I get frustrated with myself about it again and again but i can’t fix it ….I take meds but I’m still like this still? Again? It's not that I feel weak, precisely. It's just this sense almost like - I've already been pushing against this Demon for years now, shouldn't I have gained more ground? I get frustrated because I'm sick of picking up the loose ends and I get frustrated because it's always this same shit, same problem - I lose myself in a matter of months and spiral out of control, lose touch with friends and loved ones. I stop taking care of myself and therapy gets harder to the point I want to avoid it and I let everything around me wilt and shrivel and fall off.somehow I start both sleeping too much and not enough. I get panic-attacks just from simple tasks …just the other day I was having one and literally bawling in my car in the parking lot of DG pulling my hair out and hurting my ribs from sobbing so hard - and later, when I'm better, I'm embarrassed because how could I let it get that far?!?It feels like I already have done this so many times. Isn't there a way out of it? Isn't there a point where I've just... finally won? that it never happens again, that I just get to be done? maybe this is weakness that I often feel but comes to a point where I am used to it so I forget exactly how hard it gets. Do you even know how many times I’ve laid in bed, exhausted, blank and numb and try to drown out the thoughts with music as I lay there crying out to God- I can't anymore. I just can't. Im not even really upset just broken and lost…”It's okay” I hear but in that moment all I feel is that I’ve been here long enough. so much of my life was beautiful until the darkness took over .... I'm just... done. Do you know how many times I wake up and I say -I can't and put my feet on the floor and said I can't, I don't want to and literally forced myself to get up and take a shower, feed and dress my kid but it’s just to much work to make my own so I just don’t won’t eat that day. I put a nice playlist on and try to dance it out but I really can't and it sucks because then the thoughts start suffocating me there is no end to this and I go to my appointment and I called a friend just to get no answer,I made myself coffee even if everything tasted like ashes and decided that I really should wait for the new album from that artist I love and i thought I can't, it's not worth it and then I washed my hands and dye my hair,drank more water and wrote some gibberish,signed up for some fancy Mom group that I’ll never really attend because by the time it comes around my mind and body say I just can't, i try to fight back like I’m at war…I can't, I won't do this again, and I paid my rent but haven’t vacuumed or sweapt all week but still made myself eat something fresh and healthy even if it meant overdrawing my account on a stupid bag of carrots just because they looked delicious and do you know how often I closed my eyes and thought this is it I really fucking can't anymore seriously something has to give and I have nothing left that this “illness” can take but then I force my eyes closed till I finally drift to sleep and morning comes and I wake up and realize I survived another day anyway.

#keepgoing #mystoryisntoveryet #mentalhealthisreal #dontsufferinsilence

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fiascox0xo · 2 months ago

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I guess I’ve always felt like I personally couldn’t be in love with more than one person. Like I could love many people/ many kinds of love. But there’s a “in love” and a “I love you” & “I’m in love with you” and I have never been able to lie to someone and say I’m in love with them when I’m not. I danc around words. But I never say it…. It may seem “oh my fingers were crossed but/ I can’t make my heart stop being in love as much as I wish I could, I know I need to focus on myself. I know I need to not go be messy all over someone else’s life because I am lost I my feelings .

I almost broke when I realized how my “bff” added “Hurricane” in front of my name - may not have been a compliment like I thought. girl thugs. ) I had my feelings controlling me & always felt like I couldn’t bare to keep thugs in - or I would burst. Or I was meant to hold into pain forever if I loved someone who I knew was already with another ; or we didn’t mix well… maybe karmic lessons; maybe just young love & impulses . I do my best not to be like that anymore . I know that I am going to be focusing on my life now. I am going to do what needs to be done- putting myself first and ignoring any kind of romantic relationships or sexual ones. I am Demi’s sexual and went almost seven years celibate- I realized I used drugs and alcohol to numb myself when I would sleep with people who were bad for me. They may drain my energy, be someone who made me feel bad by obviously using me for sex, or pressuring me , negging me, by using me in some kind of malicious act towards others…. I don’t like making people hurt esp innocent people who don’t know what’s going on☸️(my keyboard did that!) <3 I may have thought being seen as scary would be better than being the one bullied- because the I could protect my friends …. However it IS a dog eat dog world - you have to get tough and develop an alter ego to survive sometimes - you do things out of character survival mode. In but making excuses just staying a fact/ you need to forgive yourself and be gentle <3

Dang man- this is so rough - I feel like there’s a huge wad of crumpled up papers - letters unsent - maybe wet- tears? Thrown in water? Growing sorrows? I feel it in my throat and right I between my breasts in the hollow between my ribs ❇️ - I want to speak but I go to say words and I know a waterfall of tears will come, word vomit, or real … I’m not sure how hard I’m going to cry when it hits. I’ve been stoned to keep myself from feeling - put this off for way too long. I feel like I’m a million miles away from Yule & Orion. Surreal - sure, real.

I miss them. I still feel like it was all worth it if it was real …. But - there’s a part of me that still feels sick because I have this feeling it was a trick or some kind of bullying ? Idk revenge sounds so dramatic - but, idk there were so may coincidences I couldn’t ignore them completely. I REALLY NEVER LIED OR DID AYTHING TO HURT THAT RELATIONSHIP .i wanted it to work so badly. Naturally but I sped it up bc im these and I know that…. I meant well I really did. I wasn’t even going to say those words to them. They were pulling away and instead of letting them go I got clingy as desperate and it was so humiliating. I had already show d them such a vulnerable side of me I was so fucking angry as heartbroken. Then after an argument I was triggered by the way they said paying me for my stuff would ve easier that returning it” eve though I said I could got get it without ever seeing them/ and gave them a month than a week & I lost my shit and said keep it - my cptsd was full swing my meds were disrupted & I basically lost my job , that relationship ship, and a hunch of friendships all at once. And I had no one there who I thought would abandon me…. 💔 and some who obviously were not healthy relationships at the time but are bad people and I still love them even if we can’t be in each others lives because of recovery or distance or whatever. When you love someone you want what’s best for them.

I need to love myself the way I love other people. Because I want what’s best for them - I wanna see them so happy as successful. With someone who makes them feel safe and free to fail at things & supported thru their successes highs and lows , life, sickness, health all that shit. <3 but be complete on their own…..

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Anyways I know this rant was long & kind of ping pong-y but I was just trying to avoid saying I really do miss them, it’s hard when I feel this tugging on my heart . I feel like I should get a chord cutting ceremony done. Lol I know I don’t need them for closure. I’ve had them able to contact me this entire time on fb - and I don’t blame them :) as much as it hurts, it wasn’t what they signed up for- as wast what I advertised when we put our cards on the table 🔐 I. Ended up doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t but not really, because like I said. I could okay be I love with or person at a time. I know none of this will probably matter in five months but let’s hope I’m doing better by then🖋️📝❤️‍🔥 from the beginning I told him I was not over you. I was trying to understand what the fuck went down between us because I was so lost in my own mind d that when it ended I was just gone. I never relapsed. I never slept with anyone else- not even when I dated someone else , we only kissed. Because I am processing though my childhood trauma. Fr I am. And also because I wasn’t ready to try to have sex again. I really can’t imagine having sex with a man again. that’s - not to say I could imagine a woman either…. But if I date again it will be a woman probably—- I know I can get feelings too mixed up for hook up culture. I’m not bashing anyone- I just don’t want to have someone having unprotected sex with a random number of people - hidden from me - and not being honest with me. I like being exclusive. I like monogamy but not controlling jealous shit. one built trust and mutual consideration for each others feelings. I know you told me you thought “ we both know we aren’t a good match” - and I never agreed. Not in a creepy way - you never bothered explaining. You said I never listened to you but you pushed me so far away you never actually talked to me. I felt like I didn’t even know what happened. I felt so betrayed as foolish.stupid because I still can’t make myself not think about you . I miss you and wish thugs were different. I was so genuine in everything I said to you even though towards the end my mind was a bit hazy, I never meant to get you or make you feel pressured, or guilted into being with me. But also I almost feel like you never even liked me- it because of a self worth thing because I know I didn’t deserve what you did to me either- it’s the fact that you refuse to see what you did to me as painful yet claimed you wanted to be friends then ignored avoided and tried to bully me out of asking for the things you knew i needed back and saying money would be easier which was insulting . I doubt a male would’ve been tolerated like that. But you had your dick inside me, …. You ,… were closer than anyone in six or seven years and I was caught off guard when you were able to treat me like I didn’t Mean shit to you. And like you were embarrassed of me .

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aeslandsong · 1 year ago

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i'm not drinking coffee anymore. i'm not consuming sugar anymore and i'm trying to avoid most carbs. when i go home, i'll have more control over my diet and yes, i need to become obsessed with diet again to reach babe status. i haven't smoked a cigarette all day so far and they were offered to me and i even said no, so i have willpower again and that's good. i had been cutting it down to like 2 a day anyway over my chain smoking one pack a day habit. i haven't smoked weed in almost a month and i feel a lot better, i'm not even thinking about it. there was literally no point to me smoking at all, i would hardly get high and when i did, it would be like for the length of my cough so yeah. i don't feel like wasting what could benefit other people. i honestly did it for the company and it's like engrained in me to smoke because i've been doing it for so long. funny how i quit in the beginning of july when it became legal but sometimes you just have to focus on other things to make you happy. if you wanna smoke, by all means but it does not mesh well with my mental illness, and it affects my medicine which is what is keeping me stable and keeping me wanting to live. i'm going to take up running again because that made me happy to do recently and i'm going to try my hardest to reach happiness instead of depending on something that just hurts me over helps. hopefully i can eventually be proof that you can improve your well being and mental state if you get proper help. once i leave here, it's up to me to continue doing my best and just learning to say no and stop doing things out of boredom that are damaging me and making me miserable in the long run. i don't want to live with anymore regrets, i just want to move forward and be the best that i can be, which is a sober lifestyle. i went to rehab because of my marijuana abuse and they took me in but i was abusing other things too that i didn't disclose and i'm over it. i got away from what was influencing me and i'm not even thinking "i hope my medicine makes me feel good", and doing bioavailability and eating certain foods that'll affect my meds to achieve ANY type of relief for no reason and generally just being a desperate fucknut that wants to feel good when all i've really wanted over the years was to be free of every substance that i've abused and kept going back to just to cry over the guilt of what my family would think of me and wishing i could be different. i know that i'm still going to have obstacles but i'm going to continue down this path because i think i'm in the right direction for once. nobody likes me on drugs anyway, they make me a shitty person that becomes distant or psychotic and that's because of what goes on in my brain and i dip and isolate myself and it's just NOT WORTH IT. i've done an array of drugs, but marijuana is what ruined my life and sometimes i think about the shitty situations i've been in just because of it. i'm not going to let people manipulate me anymore to get something out of me or make me feel uncomfortable because they have certain intentions. it's a boring lifestyle to me where your friendships can become stale and you just generally don't want to be there. plus nobody liked me on weed anyway and people hated when i asked where i could get some. i'm over it, my life is not controlled by it anymore and i am going to refuse it no matter what. i'm a lot better sober, i don't want to be like... hanging out with a shady person anymore if i'm dry and just waiting and being antsy over it and then them asking to sleep with me or something lol. i'm just thinking about all the money i wasted on it rather than focusing on my health and the way i look. i'm lucky i'm still alive and i'm just going to lead my best life as much as i can until i reach independence. i know a lot of people in my life smoke, if it makes you happy, i'm glad! i hope it benefits you. we're all different. anyway, have a happy day. peace.

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adriannanderson · 2 years ago

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Sudden stop

Hi sweet boy

We wonder if uncle Sam was able to join you when his earthly life ended last week

Our hope is that the two of you are together

Sober Sam is one of the coolest people you'll ever meet

He'll make you laugh a lot 🥰

Layten is still with us, and we are working on ensuring he gets to stay with us until he's an adult

I told someone yesterday that I always wanted 2 kids by 30 and have been blessed with 5 kids by 42

You just never know what your life may bring

The loss of another brother, and the loss of a father, has been nothing less than miserable for our family

We are pretty well versed on grief, as we've handled our share of people we love gone too soon

But it turns out, this loss is setting us back significantly

Since Uncle Sam's passing, your dad has been wound up and hurting in a way I have not seen since he lost you

There are a lot of dynamics causing that, but the root is certainly grief

The same day that I was admitted to the hospital, he began having extreme pain in his abdomen that they suspect are a reaction to a faulty gall bladder

So my right hand man, the guy that always steps in when I'm unable to be somewhere, is out of commission too

I ended up being admitted after I have been experiencing extreme fatigue since Sam passed

I just know grief is heavy and I knew this valley is deep, but I'll come out on the other side

This would be no different

But overall felt like I was handling things ok!

Day to day life was at an all time high, as far as responsibilities this week - 4 track meets, 3 that I haven't been able to attend bc of my health, as well as preschool conferences that I had to reschedule, and most important of all, Coops junior prom

Meetings, decorating, after prom responsibilities

Pictures to be taken and places to be that require a shower and looking decent

Except I can't stand long enough without getting weak

I just can't even think on it for 2 seconds without getting tears

I really wanted that day to just be about your big brother

He assures me that he will not be bummed if I can't be there, that it will be ok

But he doesn't know a mama's heart

It will not be ok for a few

But there is still a chance I could rally before then

Today is really really hard and does not make me feel like tomorrow is going to be an option

I overdosed myself on calcium (note to others, you CAN eat too many tums!) Then had a very serious panic attack - either brought on by the calcium or the long list of things scrolling through my head on repeat

Either way, my heart rate and BP were very high for hours, one med that they had me try to lower calcium per Mercy dropped my BP so fast I could no longer move my limbs or talk like normal - that one goes in my chart as NO THANKS NEVER AGAIN

There were talks of sending me north and I did NOT want that. I was receiving so much care and support from our wayne county hospital staff that I knew could not be topped in a large facility

I was able to get some sleep about 430 am - 9am Thursday morning

When I woke, my nurse told me that my calcium level was down to 11 from over 14 and that I was able to go home

Music to my ears

But how did they check my level??

Oh ya know, just took blood while I was passed the heck out!

Lolol that was a first for me!

Thursday was sleep, all day and all night

Today I'm awaiting news on newest levels, and continuing to rest, as my head and body are too cloudy to do much else

I've been crying on and off since Wednesday, and decided I had to write to you

To try and empty my mind and relieve myself of the loop in my mind

House - a mess

Laundry - will never be done

Dogs - need baths

Work - Preschool conferences and DK/K recommendations - now I have to reschedule everyone during the 1st week of ball practice😭😭😭

Em - where's she going after school? Moms, Shelbys, cierras…..

Coop has study table - does he need help getting that grade up or is he just being lazy and not turning stuff in

Carsyn - are we helping her make the right decisions concerning how she spends her time? She's really worried about her mom.I think and I hate that I'm the cause

Layten- can't really speak on him too much without another serious cry sesh bc I think his pain level is immense and I want to be able to not mess this mom thing up for him. He deserves a few years of just being a high school kid with no adult worries. And no matter what, we'll never be able to replace his dad, who he loves with all his heart

After prom - I should either be at Carsyns track meet or helping decorating tonight and helping do whatever tomorrow night for after prom. The mom guilt for this one is very deep bc it's a big undertaking and needs all hands on deck

Side job - 3 people backed up on selling - not that they mind waiting but I'd like to get those off my list of things to do

Both desks - at school and home are overloaded and I want to clean them but every time I look at them im.so overwhelmed I just can't even start

2 IEP mtgs that need scheduled between now and end of school - sounds easy but is actually a zoo getting all hands on deck

There's more but these are are ones that are at the top of the loop in my head

Losing you taught me sometimes just releasing it, the stuff, the worry, in some way can bring relief

So there is it, or the bulk of it at least

Some of our life's stressors are not my story to tell

I know for sure that since losing you Fish, any death of anyone we know is a small set back

And death of those we love most can be large set backs

But we never give up

We'll come out ok

It will hurt a lot, but we will come out ok

I love you little man

You are one of my reasons to smile everyday

Love Mom

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poppystain · 3 years ago

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𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐄𝐘'𝐒 — 𝐈𝐅 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ( 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 ) / feel free to change pronouns as you see fit !

THE TRADITION

❛ she's easy on the eyes. ❜

❛ her soul is black and it's a fact. ❜

❛ so take what you want, take what you can, take what you please. ❜

❛ ask for forgiveness, never permission. ❜

❛ It's in the blood and this is tradition. ❜

❛ they dress her up in golden crowns, her smile hides a lie. ❜

❛ you can take it back it's good as gone. ❜

❛ this is your soul, i hope what's left will last all summer long. ❜

❛ they said that boys were boys but they were wrong. ❜

BELLS IN SANTE FE

❛ don't call me by my name, all of this is temporary. ❜

❛ watch as i step away, for your sake. ❜

❛ maybe i can hold you in the dark. ❜

❛ leaving through the door without a word. you won't even notice, little bird. ❜

❛ better off dead, so i reckon i'm heading to hell instead. ❜

❛ don't wait for me, it's not a happy ending. ❜

❛ to sort out all his bullshit, to figurе out the treason ❜

❛ jesus, you've got better lips than judas. ❜

❛ i could give you bad one, otherwise i'm useless. ❜

❛ 'cause who the fuck would choose this? ❜

EASIER THAN LYING

❛ i'm only whatever you make me. ❜

❛ you make me more and more a villain every day. ❜

❛ you don’t know you reap, you sow. ❜

❛ whatever you give to me from yourself you take. ❜

❛ well if you're a hater then hate the creator, it's in your image i’m made. ❜

❛ 'cause i'll hang myself if you'd give me rope. ❜

❛ i got so much faith and lost all hope. ❜

❛ one eye broken and one eye bruised, ‘cause I gave myself away for you. ❜

❛ you liar, you don't love me too. ❜

❛ my heart is massive but it's empty. ❜

❛ gasping for some real attention, some undivided hypertension. ❜

❛ losing you is easier than lying to myself. ❜

LILITH

❛ i'm perfection when it comes to first impressions. ❜

❛ you got me thinkin' that i was too mean. ❜

❛ everything that I say I believe. ❜

❛ tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve. ❜

❛ i am disruptive, i've been corrupted. ❜

❛ by now I don't need a fuckin' introduction. ❜

❛ you know I get too caught up in the moment. ❜

❛ i can't call it love if i show it. ❜

❛ i just fuck things up if you notice. ❜

❛ have you noticed? tell me, have you noticed? ❜

❛ now i'm wondering if i ever wanted to hold you. ❜

❛ you'd let anybody with a body control you, and you know it too. ❜

❛ the more that you have, the more that they'll take. ❜

GIRL IS A GUN

❛ i'm not your daydream, i won't have your baby. ❜

❛ it's a shot in the dark, i'm not a walk in the park. ❜

❛ this girl is a gun, and we been havin' some fun. ❜

❛ i can show you if you turn the lights on. ❜

❛ i keep waitin' for love to come and swallow me up. ❜

❛ I feel better when the boys stop callin'. ❜

❛ this girl is a gun, before you know it, it's done. ❜

❛ god is a gun, he can have what he wants. ❜

❛ let me show you how to touch my trigger. ❜

❛ makin' me crazy from mornin' to evenin'. ❜

❛ i can't not take it, i love it, i break it. ❜

❛ it's never enough, so I'm givin' you up. ❜

YOU ASKED FOR THIS

❛ i don't know what you want from me. ❜

❛ now what the fuck does all this mean? ❜

❛ my tears are falling flawlessly now. ❜

❛ go on and be a big girl, you asked for this now. ❜

❛ who the hell is in your bed? ❜

❛ you gotta kiss goodnight and give some head. ❜

❛ i want my cake on a silver plater, i want a fistful in my hands. ❜

❛ i want a beautiful boy's despondent laughter. ❜

❛ i wanna ruin all my plans. ❜

❛ i want a fist around my throat. ❜

❛ i wanna cry so hard, i choke. ❜

❛ i want everything i ask for. ❜

DARLING

❛ really can't remember where i left my spine. ❜

❛ maybe I'll be better if I take my meds. ❜

❛ darling don't you weep, there's a place for me. ❜

❛ somewhere we can sleep, see you in your dreams. ❜

❛ ever since i was a little girl i found this sweet. ❜

❛ all the little flowers give me something to believe in. ❜

❛ never knew the feeling of a stable home, been a couple years of living on the road. ❜

❛ only you have showed me how to love me in a life. ❜

❛ until it's time to see the light, i'll make my own with you each night. ❜

❛ i'll kidnap all the stars and i will keep them in your eyes. ❜

1121

❛ i won't die for love, but i've got a body here to bury. ❜

❛ the parts of myself that i've hated... i can't tell which ones are mine and which I created. ❜

❛ you could have my heart and i would break it for you. ❜

❛ i try to be careful with the thing inside my chest. ❜

❛ so you can forget me , i'll leave if you let me. ❜

❛ please don't leave, don't leave me in the shape you left me. ❜

❛ just leave me in the place you found me safe and soundly. ❜

HONEY

❛ she's on the tip of my tongue, she's on the top of my thighs. ❜

❛ open your mouth, i got a surprise. ❜

❛ all i can taste is the blood in my mouth and the bitterness in goodbye. ❜

❛ drippin' like honеy, down the back of my throat and on the front of my mind. ❜

❛ she stings like she means it, she's mean and she's mine. ❜

❛ i love every second, it's fuckin' fantastic ❜

❛ she's hell in a basket just makin' a racket. ❜

❛ good things aren't easy to get, i know that i won't regret you. ❜

❛ between my fingers, she leaves then she lingers. ❜

WHISPERS

❛ you sabotage the things you love the most. ❜

❛ this is the voice in your head that says, "you do not want this". ❜

❛ this is the ache that says, "you do not want him". ❜

❛ bet I could fuck him. ❜

❛ why do you need love so badly? ❜

❛ i've got a monster inside me. ❜

❛ isn't it lonely? ❜

❛ think that you know me? you think that you could if you hold me? ❜

❛ think you could try to console me, but i do not know me. ❜

I AM NOT A WOMAN, I’M A GOD

❛ i am not a woman, i'm a god. ❜

❛ i am not a martyr, i'm a problem. ❜

❛ i am not a legend, i'm a fraud. ❜

❛ keep your heart, 'cause i already got one. ❜

❛ every day i've got a smile where my frown goes. ❜

❛ maybe i could be a different human in a new place. ❜

❛ i just wanna feel something, tell me where to go. ❜

❛ i stay right herе 'cause i'm better all alonе. ❜

❛ i never listen but i see you with my eyes closed. ❜

❛ it really does hurt when you love someone. ❜

THE LIGHTHOUSE

❛ from a tender age i was closed with rage. ❜

❛ i went swimming with the devil at the bottom of a lake. ❜

❛ he was tall and mean with venom eyes so green. ❜

❛ i'll allure you like a landslide and I'll show you lovely things. ❜

❛ he kissed me on the mouth and dug his fingers in my thighs. ❜

❛ a sailor ain't a savior 'cause they only tell you lies. ❜

❛ he's laying in the water, begging god to let him down. ❜

❛ i showed him all my teeth and then i laughed out loud. ❜

❛ i never wanted saving, i just wanted to be found. ❜

❛ that should teach a man to mess with me. ❜

❛ i'm glad i met the devil 'cause he showed me i was weak, and a little piece of him is a little piece of me. ❜

YA’ABURNEE

❛ i can't decide if i love you more at morning or i love you more at night. ❜

❛ the moon don't pick sides and the sun won't resign until you're by my side. ❜

❛ your beauty is a blessing. ❜

❛ i never got to tell you how i lovеd the way my eyes makе yours look green. ❜

❛ i think we could live forever in each others faces. ❜

❛ if we don't live forever maybe one day we'll trade places. ❜

❛ darling, you will bury me before i bury you. ❜

❛ i'll never know if there's danger in confession. ❜

❛ it's memory that presses like a blade against my throat. ❜

❛ or to die without revealing that you got inside my head. ❜

❛ love is just a currency so take my pockets, and take me home. ❜

❛ take my life, and take my soul, wrap me in a wedding ring. ❜

#lyric starters #sentence starters #rp starter #inbox memes #rp meme #halsey #if i can't have love i want power

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multifandomimagines · 3 years ago

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Let Me Show You - A Theo Raeken Imagine

Characters: Theo Raeken x Reader

Word Count: 3469

Summary: Reader is feeling stressed and insecure, so Theo wants to be there for her and make her feel perfect.

Warnings: Smut (female-receiving oral and vaginal), insecurity, mentions of IED

Written by: Josie

A/N: Keep reading after the cut 👀

Disclaimer: GIF isn’t ours - credit to who it belongs to

Y/N sighed as the puffy red eyes of her reflection stared back at her through the mirror. This week had been… different. Every little thing had been going wrong, and each day brought more and more emotion, stress and insecurity. Her under-eyes were dark with exhaustion and her smile wasn’t as bright as it usually was - that is, when it showed itself anyway.

She didn’t even hear when her bedroom door opened and closed softly, didn’t register the light footsteps across her carpet moving toward her; not until the eyes of her boyfriend met hers in the mirror, round with concern. Seeing him so suddenly would usually have elicited a wide grin from Y/N, and she would jump into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Yet, in the state she was in, his arrival made her feel as if she could finally let it all out. Her emotions overwhelmed her like a tidal wave, and her eyes prickled with tears.

“Theo,” she whispered, her voice cracking, and hurriedly turned around to bury her head in his neck. Almost like a reflex, Theo held her tightly to his chest as she cried, his hand rubbing up and down her trembling back. He slowly walked them backward until his legs hit the edge of her bed, and pulled her shaking body onto his lap.

“Shh, baby,” Theo hushed her sobs tenderly. “It’s okay.” Her head had made its way back to his neck, Y/N couldn’t even look up at him. He wouldn’t show it, because he had to be strong for her, but seeing his girl like this broke him to pieces inside. She was the only person who saw the good in him when everyone else tossed him aside as either a failure or a villain. Either way, he was a lost cause in the eyes of most people. Everyone really… well, everyone except her. Out of all of the people Theo had met in his life, he knew Y/N deserved to be happy more than anyone. She deserved to be cared for, celebrated, loved. As someone who dragged him out of his darkest places, Theo wanted nothing more than to help her out of hers.

Y/N sniffled, and slowly lifted her head from Theo’s shoulder, her eyes staring downward and avoiding the gaze of her boyfriend. She knew it hurt him to see her like this and she wished she could just… stop.

“Hey,” she heard him say. “Look at me Y/N.” His voice was rich with worry for the girl he loved, and she flinched at the thought of causing him grief. It was quick, but Theo saw it, and his heart snapped once again. Slowly, he raised his hand to her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone softly, collecting the tears that were slowly drying on her face. She subtly leaned into his touch without even realising she did it, it was like her body moved off it’s own accord, drawn to him. Gently, Theo moved his hand to Y/N’s chin and turned her head to face him.

For the first time since he’d arrived, Y/N finally let Theo see the pain in her eyes. They were glossy and slightly bloodshot, and Theo’s gaze softened at the sight of her vulnerability. “What’s wrong?” He asked a simply question, not wanting to overwhelm her.

“Everything,” she breathed. Theo’s fingers ran themselves through her hair, encouraging her to keep going. Initially she wanted to shrug him off and succumb to her feelings again, but she let him comfort her. “I’m just feeling everything all at once. Theo, I can’t-“

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay,” He held her cheeks delicately, scared to break her fragile form. “Breathe with me.”

It was something Theo had learned over the months. Sometimes Y/N really needed to calm down and just breathe slowly, in and out, exhaling the intensity of her feelings as much as her brain would allow. Though she hadn’t admitted it, Y/N realised that the method worked better when Theo led her through it.

After a minute or so of long, deep breaths, Y/N was no longer jolting with the ghosts of sobs from earlier. Theo continued to hold her close, remaining gentle but tight enough to always remind her that he was there for her. No matter what.

“This week has been so bad,” She began, and Theo stayed silent, realising that she was finally feeling comfortable enough to talk. He felt a small surge of pride flow through him at this, knowing that it was hard for her at times. “I’m stressed. I still have so much work to do, and deadlines are creeping up on me like a freakin’ predator. I’m worried for my brother, he’s struggling with his IED and he’s even been taking his meds, but they keep needing to up the dose and it kills me to see him in the state he gets. I keep screwing up too, like earlier I kept stalling the car, and I broke a photo frame yesterday morning, and I forgot to submit an assignment for grading at the beginning of the week. And I can’t sleep at night… Theo, I’m so tired.”

“Hey, come here,” Theo whispered, pulling her into another hug. “Okay, first of all, you are so smart and every time you get stressed about an assessment, you always go and smash it, don’t you?”

A smile threatened to pull at her lips at his confidence in her, and she nodded.

“Right,” Theo grinned. “Next thing, Liam is resilient, just like you. He won’t let one little setback get him down, and his meds will be sorted before you know it. Plus, he’s lucky to have you as a sister, you know that? You’re always there for him, everyone sees it.”

Y/N shifted on Theo’s lap, looking into his eyes as he spoke. “And,” He continued. “Everyone has weeks where they feel like they mess everything up, even super cool badasses like me.” Y/N giggled, spurring Theo on. “Someone as perfect as you doesn’t need to worry about a few little mistakes. They’re nothing, okay? Not important.” His hand moved soothingly up and down her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Is that everything?”

“Um, yeah…” Y/N trailed off quietly, suddenly avoiding her boyfriend’s eyes and sinking into herself. Theo knew her so well at this point that not a single subtle movement would go unnoticed, so he raised his eyebrows at her response. He knew she was holding back, and she knew that he knew. Sighing, Y/N gave in a little. “It’s stupid.”

“What have I always told you?” He said, smiling at her. “You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I’ll be there for you no matter what. You know that, don’t you?”

Y/N nodded and breathed in, slightly shakily. “I feel ugly, Theo.”

“What?” Theo whispered in disbelief, his eyes the size of saucers. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t that. “Baby-“

“I told you it was stupid-“

“No, it’s not that, it’s just-“ Theo searched for the words in his brain. He never thought he’d have to convince the most beautiful girl in the world that that’s what she was. He thought it was just common knowledge, really. “You and ‘ugly’ would never even fit in the same category. Not even in the same universe.”

“That’s just not true though,” Y/N stated, shaking her head, her eyes tired. “I can’t even look in the mirror at the moment. I feel like when I look, I’m not looking back at me. And it makes me cry. I’d rather not see myself at all than to look at that reflection.”

If Theo’s heart wasn’t broken before, the damage was definitely done now. Hearing Y/N, his girl, say that she wasn’t pretty, but ugly, made him feel all kinds of lost and confused, but more so sad, because he wished he could take away her pain and make it all disappear. Unfortunately, his powers of pain transference only worked on physical pain, and he silently cursed that fact.

“How can you not see what I see…” He whispered, almost more to himself than to her. “You know, the first time I saw you Y/N, even from a distance I knew I’d never see anyone as beautiful as you. And now I’m looking at you, months later, and I still think you’re just as stunning. You are gorgeous. You hear me? The most gorgeous ever.” Theo placed kisses on her nose, her cheeks, her forehead as he spoke, causing Y/N’s heart to flutter. His words stirred something in her, and the intensity of his eyes boring into hers made her forget about everything she was worried about. A wave of adoration for her boyfriend washed over her, and she cupped his cheeks delicately, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

Y/N didn’t have the words at that moment, all the emotion was caught in her throat, so she did what she felt conveyed her feelings best. She leaned forward and kissed him, Theo’s lips moving against hers immediately, as if by instinct. It was so soft, so pure, light as a feather. She pulled away from him all too soon, their eyes meeting each other once again, but Theo didn’t feel like stopping. “I want to show you how beautiful you really are,” He spoke lowly, holding her hand and giving a gentle squeeze. “Please baby. Let me show you.”

He didn’t have to explicitly say what he really meant by that for both of them to know, and his request sent warm shivers through her body. She spoke only one word: “Okay.”

Theo connected their lips again, harder this time. Even with just a kiss, he wanted to pour every ounce of love he had for her in it. He would make sure that he made her feel exactly how she deserves to feel. Her hands had moved to the back of his neck, plucking at the hairs on his head, while Theo held her as close as their bodies would allow.

His fingers slid up her t-shirt slightly, brushing the skin underneath. Theo’s fingers were so cold that Y/N gasped against his lips, so her boyfriend took the chance to slip his tongue into her mouth and explore. Slowly, he lifted her shirt up further and further until they were forced to pull away so Theo could tug it over her head and toss it on her bedroom floor.

Of course, Theo wanted to marvel her brilliance as best he could, so he gripped her by the waist and moved her carefully so she was laying flat on her bed, looking up at him. “So beautiful,” he murmured, and waisted no time in resuming their kiss. His hands travelled down her sides as their lips moved in sync like a perfectly choreographed dance, and his hips ground into hers - gently still, yet hard enough to give Y/N friction where she needed it the most.

He dragged his lips to her neck, sucking and biting on the skin to create dark marks to decorate her already perfect body. Theo considered it his finishing touch to her, as he knew she needed him as much as he needed her, which was what made them so perfect. Y/N’s hands roamed his back, one leg secured over his hip to keep him close, and Theo reached around to unclip her bra. His eyes widened - he would never get used to seeing her body like this, and she wasn’t even fully exposed to him yet.

“I love these so much,” He said, lowering his head to one breast and closing his mouth over her nipple, his tongue sliding across her sensitive skin. Y/N moaned as he simultaneously kneaded her other breast with his hand. “I love this one,” He said, moving away from the one he was playing with. “And I love this one.” Theo reattached his lips to her other breast, her rapidly increasing breaths spurring him on.

Y/N’s hips involuntarily bucked up at Theo’s, and he chuckled lightly against her skin at the movement. He trailed his lips back up to her collarbone, her neck, her jaw, all while dragging her leggings and her panties down her legs as far as he could. He pulled away from Y/N’s lips to crawl down the bed until he could completely reveal her entire body. Her leggings and panties discarded on the floor, Theo looked his girl in the eyes as he placed his hands on her thighs and lightly encouraged her legs apart.

Shivering with anticipation, Y/N watched her boyfriend wide-eyed as he licked one long stripe up her centre. Her eyelids fluttered, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the intense eye contact she held with Theo, until he began to flick his tongue against her clit. Her head fell back onto her pillow, arms flying down to grab onto Theo’s hair, feeling his head moving between her legs. She moaned as he licked and sucked at her clit, doing everything in his power to make her feel good, and it was music to his ears. He soon replaced his tongue with his fingers, rubbing her clit quickly, and started licking along her core, like it was his whole life’s purpose to do so.

“Fuck, Theo,” She whimpered, and Theo groaned against her at the sound of her saying his name in such a situation. Her voice held so much vulnerability yet so much excitement, so much feeling, so much love. The vibrations against her core sent waves of pleasure racing through her, and Theo watched through his eyelashes as her back arched off the bed.

Theo removed his mouth from her core, and her head whipped up briefly at the loss of contact, her eyes wide and pleading for something, anything. Barely moment after, Theo pushed two fingers inside her, pumping them at a quick pace. Y/N moaned louder, and Theo pulled himself up so his head was level with hers, staring directly into her eyes as his fingers worked their magic. “How good does this feel Princess?”

“So good,” Y/N breathed, barely being able to find it in herself to speak. She gripped onto his biceps as he continued his work between her legs, moaning with every thrust of his fingers. “It feels amazing.”

Theo smirked slightly, content that he was getting exactly the reaction from her that he set out to get, and leaned down to capture her lips with his once again. He added another finger and picked up the pace of his actions, his mouth drowning her voice as she cried out. He kissed her hard, drawing the breath out of her almost completely, and she could taste herself on his tongue which only brought her closer to the edge.

Feeling her walls clench around his fingers, Theo moved his lips around to her ear. “Are you gonna cum?” He said, his voice rough with his own arousal. He knew the answer, but he also knew that Y/N loved to hear his voice, and it somehow turned her on even more. All she could do at this point was nod frantically, her moans and whimpers making it impossible to get the words out. Theo sped up his actions even further, trying with everything he had to send her over the edge. “Cum for me baby.”

The words uttered into her ear sent her into ecstasy, and she let go screaming Theo’s name. He watched with his mouth hung open as her body pulsed and jolted as her orgasm washed over her in waves, her cries slowing into whimpers and her contorted face relaxing into one of sheer bliss.

A few moments later when Y/N had caught her breath, she reached down and palmed Theo’s bulge through his joggers, eyes widening when she realised how hard he already was. He groaned, dropping his head to her shoulder and tensing at her touch. “N- no, baby,” He stuttered out, voice rough from the feeling. Y/N was confused as he slowly moved her hand away, tilting her head to the side in a silent question. “Tonight is about you.”

Usually she would protest and say that they both need to be pleasured equally, but she wanted him so badly that she didn’t have it in her to argue. Frantically, she yanked his head down and smashed her lips against his, tongue and teeth clashing in desperation. All she wanted was him, and she didn’t want to wait any longer.

She pulled his shirt up his body, almost ripping the fabric with her speed, and he pulled away so she could pull it over his head. She loved to admire Theo’s toned chest and stomach, so she reached her hand down to feel up his abs. She tried to look, but Theo was adamant on her being the one who was worshipped, so he dipped his head and began sucking on her neck once again, causing her head to fall back and a moan to fall from her lips.

As he painted her neck with purple bruises, Y/N reached down and played with the waistband of his joggers, fiddling with the drawstrings. Theo felt her fingers brush him and growled against her neck, hurriedly standing up to yank them and his boxers to the ground, completely exposed before her.

Y/N whimpered at the sight of him, naked and ready for her, and he crawled back over her just as quickly as he’d stood up. Theo looked at her with dark eyes, wordlessly asking for permission to treat her to just what she deserved. “Please, Theo,” She whispered, and of course, Theo didn’t want to deny her anything she wanted, especially when she asked so nicely.

The two of them moaned in harmony, jaws dropped open, as Theo pushed himself inside her, easily sliding in due to her wetness. He moved all the way in until he felt like he was inside Y/N’s stomach, pausing there as they both breathed heavily from the sensation. “Feeling better?” Theo spoke thinly, smiling at his girlfriend’s expression of pure pleasure.

“Miles better,” She replied, thrusting her hips up at Theo, making it known that she wanted more. The chimera began to move, pushing in and out of her at an ever-increasing pace, making sure she felt every single inch of him to give her the best sex possible. Y/N hands roamed his back, nails scratching at it and breaking the skin as she moaned and cursed into his ear.

“Always so tight and wet for me,” Theo groaned, his hair falling messily over his forehead as he moved. “So perfect. Every inch of you is perfect.” He sped up his movements, making sure to hit the spot that gets her screaming, and grabbed at her breast with one hand and delicately stroking her cheek with the other. “I love you.”

Theo was going so deep and fast now, Y/N was so close. Her nails dug into his back as her release approached, unable to tear her eyes away from his as they glowed yellow from the adrenaline. “I love you too,” She spoke shakily, so nearly there, when Theo kissed her hard, knowing she was reaching her orgasm from her clenching walls.

“Now,” He spoke against her lips, and as soon as the word had left his lips, Y/N screamed out Theo’s name at the most euphoric feeling she had ever experienced, shaking and quivering around him. Moments later, as she was still feeling the high, she felt Theo slow his movements as he spilled into her, his own release washing through him like a tidal wave.

After coming down from their high, Theo flopped down next to her in bed, immediately pulling her close to rest her head on his chest, which was still rising and falling. He kissed her head lightly, stroking her hair affectionately, and then pulled the covers over their bodies. He knew Y/N was exhausted, not just from their activities but from her whole week. Her breathing had slowed and he realised she had already fallen into a relaxed slumber.

Theo smiled to himself - seeing his girl finally calm with no stress lines pulling at her face made his heart soar. He hated seeing her so upset, in fact it was his least favourite thing to see in the world, so he vowed to always be the one to lift her back up again.

Theo would always be there for her: rain or shine, any day, any time. And one day it’ll be ‘til death do them part. His smile lingered on his lips as he let his own eyelids closed and he joined her in her slumber, meeting her in her dream.

#teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf imagine #theo raeken #theo raeken imagines #theo raeken imagine #teen wolf smut #theo raeken smut #theo raeken x reader #cody christian

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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 4 years ago

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Migraines

Word count: 1679

Genre: Hurt/comfort

Pairings: Natasha x fem!reader, platonic avengers x fem!reader

Warnings: Some swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: hi~ was wondering if you’d do a natasha x reader with a dash of platonic avengers when reader has chronic migraines but hasn’t told nat so ends up in random places to try and sleep them away and the others keep finding her and then nat figures out she’s hiding something and feels hurt but ends fluffy wanting to take care of reader next time? you can choose who and change any part you want!

Summary: Reader gets really bad migraines and is constantly being found by the team when she wants to be alone, however her girlfriend Natasha doesn’t know what’s going on.

A/n: This request was for @casperlikej so I hope you like it! Also I would like to mention that I know next to nothing about migraines so this probably won’t be super accurate but hopefully it’s ok to read anyways. I’m queuing this to come out on Sunday so that over the weekend I can work on the friends to enemies to lovers three part series and get that out soon (no I have not forgotten about that request). I am only like a sixth into that series but so far I’m super proud of it so I can’t wait to get it done! Also if anyone has ideas, feel free to request anything because I like having multiple fic ideas to think of at all times. Anyways I’m rambling now but I hope you enjoy this fic!

You hated being away from Natasha because although you had only been together for a few months and only known her for half a year you were sure you loved her but sometimes you just couldn’t stand pretending to be okay in front of her so you would hide yourself away. Currently your favourite place to hide was a nice rocking chair near the medbay area that was tucked away in the corner of a room. Barely anyone ever went by and the few that did never seemed to notice, giving you the anonymously you needed in order to curl up with your head in your knees and try to calm your head down.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” You hear Tony’s voice ask and you startle.

“Oh, um, I’m just spending time with myself.” You respond lamely as Tony raises an eyebrow.

“You never spend time by yourself,” he points out, “whenever you want to get away from us you always spend time with Natasha.”

“I am alone sometimes.” You say starting to get annoyed.

He scoffs. “No you aren’t, is everything ok between you two?”

“Everything is fine, just leave!” You snap at him. He hesitates in leaving the room but ultimately goes without saying another word after seeing how intensely you started glaring at him. It takes longer than usual for your migraine to go away because usually staying level headed helped but at least you yelling got Tony out of the room and to stop asking questions.

---

It was only a few days later that you got another migraine. You excuse yourself from the room you were sitting in with Bruce, Tony and Nat, mumbling some bullshit about needing to go to the store and ignoring Tony’s worried look on your way out. You knew that Tony would come looking for you in your old place so you decide to hole up in the room near the pad Thor uses whenever he visits earth. Today wasn’t a very bad migraine because you were able to catch the signs early but it still takes slightly over an hour for your head to stop pounding. You’re about to leave the room and go back to find the others but just to your luck Thor happens to arrive today unscheduled, something that only happens every few weeks.

“Lady Y/l/n!” his voice booms happily as he steps inside, “it’s so good to see you, but what are you doing here, I wasn’t aware I had informed anyone of my arrival.”

You laugh slightly at his formal way of speaking and confused expression. “You didn’t, I just happened to be here because I was trying to be alone for awhile.”

“Are you feeling unwell?” He asks, looking concerned.

“Not at all,” you reassure him, “in fact I was just about to go back to the others when you arrived, shall we find them together?” He nods eagerly, holding out his arm for you to hook onto like a true gentleman.

---

The next time you try to hide away you’re talking to Steve and he isn’t getting your subtle cues that you want to leave so he just keeps talking. You think he is talking about some sort of mission but honestly you don’t know because it physically hurts your brain to pay attention. You want to yell at him so badly but you can’t bring yourself to because he isn't trying to hurt you at all and he’s too nice to be angry at.

“You agree Y/n?” You manage to make out.

“Yes.” You say, not knowing what you’re even agreeing to.

“Great, I’ll go talk to the others, see you tomorrow for the morning training!” He says before walking off. You groan out loud as soon as you can no longer see him, partly because of how much your head hurts and partly because you accidentally told Steve that morning training was a good idea. This time you just plop yourself on the nearest couch and hope nobody finds you.

---

You stumble into Bruce’s lab calling out for him. It had been over a week since your last migraine and encounter with Steve, one of the longest breaks you’ve had within recent memory but that came back to bite you in the ass when today’s was worse than ever before, even blurring your vision a little because of the pain.

Bruce stands up from behind a pile of boxes. “Y/n, what brings you here.”

“Pain meds now.” You order in a weak voice. He looks curious but doesn’t question you, heading towards a back cabinet and pulling out a bottle of pills. You immediately take two and swallow, ignoring him scolding you that you should only take one. Luckily since Bruce invented them himself it only took about five minutes for them to kick in.

“Sorry, I had a really bad headache.” You tell him which is a half truth.

He looks at you in concern. “Are you sure that was only a headache? It looked bad.”

You wave him off, heading towards the door because you didn’t want him to ask anymore questions. “I’m fine Brucie, thanks again!” He sighs and shakes his head as he watches you leave, worried but deciding it’s not his place to badger you about it.

---

Since every time you got a migraine you always ended up around one of the others you made a plan so that you could avoid everyone because you knew that one day your luck was going to end and Natasha would be the one to find you. You knew that she wouldn’t be mad at you or anything since you can’t control them but the relationship is still new and you don’t want to badger her with any of your problems.

That’s why as soon as you start to feel a migraine coming on you hoist yourself up into the vents above your (sort of) shared room with Natasha where you had left a blanket and some pillows to relax with�� only to find Clint waiting for you there.

“I was wondering who had left these up there.” He says, seeming like it was a perfectly natural thing for him to be in the vents above your room. You decide not to question it, only sighing because you know that conversation would take up too many thoughts that you don’t have space for right now. You’re just so fucking done with your migraines and want them to go away.

Clint notices your sadden expression and is serious for once. “Y/n, what’s going on?”

“I get these stupid fucking migraines and it only seems to be getting worse and I don’t want anyone to think I’m weak and I want Natasha but I don’t want to bother her with my problems.” You unload, holding back tears.

“I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t know how to make you feel better,” he confesses, “however why don’t you try to take a nap in your own bed and if you really don’t want Tasha to find you I can keep her distracted.” You nod and he helps you back out of the vents, climbing down after you.

“Clint?” you say as he’s leaving the room and he turns around, “thanks.”

---

Clint makes his way to the common room where he sees Steve talking to Natasha.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He asks with a smile, faltering when he sees Natasha looks upset. “Nat, what’s wrong?”

“I think Y/n is going to break up with me.” She says, her voice thick with emotion.

Steve frowns. “I told you not to jump to conclusions, maybe you should just talk to her.” Natasha just shakes her head, looking down and taking a deep breath, trying to regulate her emotions.

“Y/n’s going to hate me for this,” Clint says as two pairs of eyes turn to him, “but you should go to your room, I promise that she’s not planning on breaking up with you.”

Natasha noticeably brightens. “Are you sure?”

Clint nods. “I’m sure, she said not even five minutes ago that she wanted you. She’s going through some shit right now that you should talk to her about but she wouldn’t break up with you.”

“Thanks.” Natasha replies, before hurrying to your shared room, worried about you after what Clint said.

---

You curl up on the bed and let a few tears fall out and before long you are full on sobbing. You always try to stay strong and not cry but you just can’t deal with the migraines anymore. The bed shifts behind you and you sit up straight looking behind you. Natasha is climbing on to it and looking at you with a worried expression on her face.

“I thought Clint was going to keep you busy.” You say, sniffling to try to stop your tears.

“He must have lied because he told me to come here.” She responds.

“He’s an asshole.”

She gives a small laugh. “Normally yes, but he did the right thing, I want to help you with whatever is upsetting you.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with me like this,” you tell her, “my migraines are my problem that I have to deal with.”

She moves across the bed and puts her arms around you. “No sweetheart, I’m here with you.” You start to cry again, this time while it’s slightly from the pain it’s mostly because you feel so overwhelmed with how much she supports you. She pulls you in tightly to her chest, and plants a kiss on the top of your head.

“I will always be here for you if you need something ok?” she says. “But now you need to rest.”

“But-” you start to protest before she cuts you off.

“No buts, you need sleep.” She says while shushing you. You wiggle back, trying to be as far into arms as possible before you slowly drift off, the pain of the migraine going away and all you can feel is warmth.

---

Taglist: @fayhar @stephanieromanoff @stop-drop-and-drumroll @acertainredhead (if you want to be added, comment, send an ask, or message me)

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #platonic avengers x reader #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #x reader

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halsteadsfave · 4 years ago

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My Fault (j.h.)

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word Count: 1071

Warnings: angst, possible spelling errors

A/N: #43 as a request, not by best work, but I hope you like it anyway (:

xoxo ____

Coming home from your long workday in Med, you were pretty exhausted. It was one of these days where everyone around you was in a bad mood. Being a nurse and a helping hand for everybody, you were the punishment bag for everyone today.

Taking off your clothes, getting rid of the make-up, and stepping into the shower shortly after. You were enjoying the hot water.

Getting clothed again after the shower, you were now making some dinner. Some scrambled eggs and you were already happy.

You were now sitting on the couch. Switching on the TV and eating while watching the news. Nothing interesting was going on.

The doorbell rang. It was already 11pm and you were a little bit confused. Just dressed in a big hoodie and some leggings, you decided to open the door after it rang again.

'Jay? What are you doing here?' You asked in shock. Not only that your boyfriend came to you without a warning, but his face was also covered in blood.

'Can I come in?' He asked obviously uncomfortable and you opened the door for him. He looked like a mess.

'What happened?' You asked while getting into the kitchen to get your first-aid kit.

Jay was undercover for the past 3 days and should be for another 2 days. Something must’ve gone wrong.

You went back to him and unpacked the kit. He was sitting on your couch. Jay was just watching you in silence.

'It could hurt a little' you told him before cleaning the wounds around his bleeding nose. He flinched under your touch but remained silent.

'What happened, babe?' You tried again while cleaning other wounds in his face. They were not deep, but very dirty.

Stopping in your tracks, you tried to get an answer from your boyfriend. He was just watching you.

'You can tell me I’m your girlfriend' you tried again and lowered your voice a little. Jay’s eyes were filled with sadness and he just shook his head.

'I can’t' he whispered and his eyes went to the floor. It nearly broke your heart. You wished you could make him talk and don't hide it from you.

You gave him a little kiss on the forehead before continuing to clean his face. You were trying to be as gentle as possible.

Jay was still silent when you finished taking care of his injured face. Taking the remote, you were turning off the television where now a comedy show was shown.

'Is there anything else on your body I should be aware of?' You raised your voice again. You couldn't see much because he was still wearing all of his clothes.

Jay stood up and get rid of his jacket. Now you could take a closer look at his neck and arms, but there were no injuries. Only his fingers were a little bit swollen. He sat down again and you took a closer look at his hands.

While you were cleaning it, a tear fell down on his right hand in yours. You looked up and met his teary eyes. You got up quickly and hugged him tightly. Something but must’ve happened. His tears fell down like waterfalls now. He completely broke down.

You quickly sat down next to him. Holding him tight now while stroking his head. Seeing him like this, literally broke your heart.

'It’s all my fault' he whispered some minutes later into the crock of your neck, where his head was now laying. He wasn’t crying anymore.

'Whatever it is, I don’t think so. Do you want to talk about? Somebody said once I’m a pretty good listener.' You were still stroking his head and trying again to bring him to talk to you.

He looked up for a second. You wiped the last small tears from his face.

'Come on, it’s me. I’m good at this sort of stuff, remember?' You asked him whispering.

Jay inhaled and exhaled deeply. You took his hands carefully in yours.

'There was this man I had to work with. He was one of my best CI's. I had to protect him' he began and his eyes began to get watery again. You gave his hands a little squeeze.

'I-I... Everything went fine, we were nearly ready to get the murder into jail. We were in this house, waiting for a potential sale of drugs. I was absolutely ready to come home again. To come back to you' he paused again and his eyes were narrowing your hands now.

'Suddenly, out of nowhere, 2 people stormed in with machine guns. My man, my CI, was immediately dead. I could hide at first but had to defend myself before the others came and could help me. I don’t know what happened or why it happened, but something went miserably wrong. We were supposed to come out there alive. All of us. And now?'

A tear found a way down Jay’s cheek. You were wiping it away and hugged him. You were holding him tight again. 'It’s not your fault Jay' you whispered into his ear.

'He had a wife and two kids, (Y/N). I don’t know what went wrong. Everything looked good for us' he mumbled into the crook of your neck. You said nothing anymore. You knew it would be best if you let him calm himself now.

Some minutes later he sat up again. With his sleeve, he was wiping his last tears away.

'Thank you babe' he said while slowly looking in your direction again. He had red puffy eyes now, but you could tell that he was feeling better.

'You’re welcome' you assured him with a small smile on your lips.

You sat up too. Now you were stroking his cheek a little bit. 'Shall we go and get a dose of sleep?' You asked and he nodded slowly.

'Come on then' you stood up and took his hand. Going first to the bathroom together. Both of you were brushing your teeth and got ready for the night.

Now you were both laying in bed cuddled up. Your face was laying on Jay's chest. He was holding you tight. His heart rate was slower again. By this, you could tell that he was feeling better again.

'Good night babe' he whispered and gave you a small kiss on your forehead.

'Good night' you answered

#jay halstead #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead one shot #jay halstead imagines #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x you #chicago pd #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #jay

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milkacchan · 4 years ago

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Request for anon: Hi! Could you write hcs for poly bakusquad with a quirkless reader who has a serious independent streak but has recently been a target for villain attacks and got injured, but refuses to rely on anyone and tries to ignore their pain and take care of everyone else, please?

This is gonna be a little angsty

• First- it annoyed bakugou that you, someone /quirkless/ made it into the hero class

• On pure fucking spite and anger alone

• You didn't even particularly want to get in to UA

• It was just something you chose to prove someone wrong about

• and it fucking aggravated him- more than aggravated him

• Inspired Deku though, he hated that even more

• and he isn't surebhow- but he ended up talking to you and suddenly you're part of his friend group and he's /okay/ with that

• that irks him too.

• and a lot of things are uncovered when y'all are friendly w eachother

• and they learn pretty fucking fast about your independent streak

• and when you all started dating (crazy how they managed that) they thought it might go away- only it didn't.

• You never asked for help, regardless of what it was- you'd handle it on your own.

• You got hurt during training? Don't worry about it, I'm fine.

• Failed a test? You'd disappear for a few days to study and retake it.

• Didn't know what you were doing in a particular subject? You'd teach it to yourself.

• Aizawa had heard the words 'help' ONCE and he was limited to the help you'd allow him to give you .

• You trained your ass off everyday, you worked hard in school, you took no shit- it was obvious you felt like you had something to prove.

• Bakugou felt like he was a partial reason for that and it made him feel like shit.

• He wasn't exactly the kindest to you when classes started in first year.

• But he was concerned.

• They were all concerned.

• recently, you'd been stressed out. They could tell, even if you weren't giving them signs.

• On top of that, you'd become a big target for villains and no one knew why.

• it seemed like both you and midoryia were a magnet for assholes in masks

• And they tried talking to you about it, they do.

• Denki brings it up, he's holding your hand, Kirishima is threading his fingers through your hair and Seros behind you, holding your waist. Mina is in between your legs, resting her head on your chest and bakugou is at the end of the bed.

• And Denki asks if you need help- whether its coping with it- or dealing with it while its happening- or trying to figure out /why/ they're attacking you

• and you blow him off "it doesn't matter, i'll deal with it if it happens again."

"It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when." Bakugou glares.

"Okay, then when it happens again, I'll deal with it."

"That's fucking stupid," he growls.

Kami squeezes your hand gently. "Maybe we should have a plan-" he glares at Bakugou.

"I was fine last time. Don't do this."

"Do what? Offer fucking help?" Bakugou snaps and Mina cringes. She grips your shirt. She knows what's going to happen, she knows you're going to stomp off to think- it could be a few hours or it could be days. Sometimes, if she held something on you, you'd stay. She hoped this was the case.

"Your fucking pity." You seeth. "I don't need it. I can take care of myself."

"Baby we didn't-" kiri starts but you're already sliding off the bed.

"Babe," Sero looks at you. "please come talk about it,"

You say nothing, and let the door close behind you.

"Fuck." Mina sighs

• Its 2 days.

• 2 days before you resurface, calm and collected, like nothing happened.

• but you're busy- you're training harder. Much harder, you're pushing yourself past your limits and its obvious

• they were already impressed. Theg already knew you could take care of yourself. Why couldn't you see that?

• you push and push and push

• and they don't see as much of you

• when they do see you at the end of the night, you always look exhausted

• and you put on the same fucking front each time

• you smile and laugh and kiss them goodnight but they can see you're in pain

• they don't even get a chance to talk about it with you

• because the next thing they know

• theyre in another attack and youre in the center of it

• You're fighting and you're holding him off but you aren't going to last much longer

• You were tired from the day before- you hadn't gotten proper sleep- and he was strong

• It's all kind of a blur, really, you're thrown a lot, youre bleeding

• he had you by the neck at the end, you were clawing at his hands and he was laughing

• your mates weren't exactly in the best shape either- after all, the attack had happened in the middle of the night

• A strong kick to the center of his nose seemed to do the trick. There was a sickening crack and his hand loosened and he fell back.

• When you regained youre senses you froze- he wasn't breathing.

• you /killed/ him.

• Your stomach churned and suddenly all the pain you felt increased ten fold.

• You scrambled to stand up, Mina was the first one you saw and you fell to your knees in front of her, cupping her cheeks. "Baby? Baby you okay?"

"M fine, but you're not, that's a lot of blood." She looked up at you her eyes wide. "Baby that's a lot-"

"I'm okay, I promise."

• She wanted to yell and scream and you, she wanted to hit you and telling to just accept help but you'd already stood up, moving to look around for the others.

• Denki was next, you met him with a hug and a short but desperate kiss. "You okay?" You whisper, brushing your thumb over his bruised cheek. Mina was behind you now, gently brushing her fingers through the blondes hair, but she stepped away when she saw Kiri and Bakugou.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," he smiked softly.

"Eiji? Katsu?" You mumbled.

"They're okay, they're fine. You don't look so good though."

"M- M okay.." you mutter. Youre tired now. Standing here is nice. You're dizzy- Ashido was right. That was a lot of blood.

Your eyes close and your weight falls.

"Hey- Hey- Jesus! Guys! Katsuki! I don't- I can't tell if she's breathing-"

• You wake up in the hospital 2 days later.

• Mina's in the bed with you, hand thrown gently over your thighs. Sero and Denki are on the left side, heads down, eye's closed and arms over your shin.

• Kiris got your left hand in his, another hand in Minas hip.

• Bakugous on the right side, arms crossed and head down.

• and youre confused because why the fuck are you here?

• what happened?

• you miss Katsukis voice next to you when it all comes back

• and you can't help but scramble to sit up and suddenly you can't breathe

• youre not sure how long you zoned out, but when you finally get back, there's two nurses

• ones replacing and IV bag

• and the other is checking your tempature, you think.

• theres another needle stick in your arm but you can't pay mind to it right now.

• the warmth around you was gone and you desperately wanted it back.

• they weren't in the room anymore

• and when the nurses cleared the room, the tears spilled over.

• your brought your hands to cover your face and your head fell back.

• five minutes? 10 minures? Later there was a gentle tap on your shoulder

• it was ashido

• your arms were around in her seconds

• "You okay?" She whispered as the others took their spots around the bed.

"No," you shook your head. "I killed him- and and I could've gotten you guys hurt because I didn't listen," your breathing had started to get faster again.

"Hey, it's okay. Just breathe," she soothes, thumbs stroking your cheeks.

"I can't- I- fuck /help me/-" you gasp out

• It takes awhile, but they managed to calm you down.

• Ashido just holds you, she lets you cry, and Kiri reminds you that you're okay

• they do most of the comforting usually

• when you're breath has finally started to even out, and you can feel the pain again, you know you'll be asleep soon from the pain meds.

"How bad was it?" You whisper, hands still gripling Minas shirt.

"Bad." Katsuki spoke. "You stopped breathing when we got you here."

Sero rubbed his face. "You needed a blood transfusion. They weren't entirely sure how it was going to end."

"You were...you were just standing in my arms and then you weren't moving. And then you weren't answering-" denki breathed. "There was blood everywhere."

"What about you guys?"

"Can you just stop?" Katsuki groaned. "Can you just let us worry about /you/? Let us help. Don't ask about us. You almost /died/ and your only fucking thought is us. Why?" He was crying, head down, hands gripping his pants.

"He's got a point. It's okay to ask for help," kirishima whispers. "So why don't you?"

• you're quiet for a few moments.

• do you go into detail.

• or do you dodge the question.

• ultimately, the fear of losing them outweighed any shame you would have felt

• "its hard not having a quirk." You mumble, eyes down. "Quirks are practically currency. And power is highly valued. I don't have that. I don't have any of that. I'm in a constant risk of being replaced and if I ask for help, they know I'm weak. I can't ask for help."

• And they all feel their hearts shatter a little bit.

• Bakugou had poked fun at you for quite some time in first year for not having a quirk.

• and Denki wasn't much better- neither was Sero. They'd make jokes about how fast you'd drop out.

• Bakugou would break a little bit, reminding you that you weren't weak. You still being alive was proof of that.

• and slowly

• slowly you get accustomed to ask for help.

• its not necessarily with words- sometimes they ask and you just nod

• or you ask in your own way.

• youre independent streak remains- but its not as bad.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #my hero academia #poly bakusquad #bakusquad #poly bakusquad x reader #mina ashido #mina x reader #sero hanta #sero #sero x reader #denki kaminari #kaminari denki #denki x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #eijirou kirishima

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taetaespeaches · 4 years ago

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“I’m already lost without him.”

jimin x reader/oc genre: angst word count: 4.6K

a/n: This is just 4,600 words of angst. Here we have Jimin and Dear/reader’s dreaded breakup :( I’m not super impressed by the actual breakup scene but writing breakups over text is hard!! Anyways, I hope this doesn’t make you too sad! I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))

p.s. this takes place before "It’s everything to lose.” and�� “Yeah, I’m drunk. And you’re wearing my t-shirt and I fucking love you.”

Staring down at the phone, your sore eyes searched through the messages. Maybe if you looked through them long enough, hard enough, the letters would form into different words that didn’t spell out, “I don’t know if this is working anymore.”

As the text conversation went on, both of you lost your fight. You gave up.

Letting out a shaky exhale, you were sure there were no more tears left to cry as you rested your head against the front of the sofa. After pacing back and forth across your living room as you and Jimin threw sentiments of ending your union at each other, your thumbs attacking your phone screens, you had slumped to the living room floor. You weren’t sure how long it had been since you moved. You weren’t sure of anything anymore.

A knock on your front door broke you out of your thoughts as you slowly turned to the direction of the sound.

“You in there?” Your best friend’s voice called through the other side of the barrier. Fuck. The fact she was there made everything real. She knew.

You and Jimin had broken up.

“Babe,” your friend called out again, and you could picture her with her forehead pressed against the door as she tried to reach you. “I’m letting myself in,” she announced, the sound of her opening the door following the comment instantly.

Stepping inside, her eyes searched the apartment frantically until they landed on you, sitting in a pile on the floor as you stared up at her through your exhausted eyes.

“Oh, babe,” she frowned at you, staying in place as she watched you wordlessly. You couldn’t blame her for having nothing to say, the image of you must have been pitiful. However, the care and concern in her orbs had yours filling with the tears you thought you ran out of, and at the sight of your glistening eyes, your friend was darting across the room to make it to you.

Within a matter of seconds, she was seated next to you, her arms around your body as she pulled you against her frame, allowing you the safety of her presence to fall apart.

Neither of you spoke for a long time, instead, you cried in her arms as she ran a hand through your hair soothingly, holding you to her with her other arm.

Thinking back on the text conversation, the tension over the past weeks he’d been on tour, the day he left and you promised each other you’d both be ok, the fights and misunderstood feelings leading up the day he left, you wondered at which point you both could have done something to avoid your current situation. Where could you have fixed things? Could things have been fixed?

You’d been through break ups before, and in the past, they had hurt but you always had a sense of this needed to happen. They were sad, but they gave you resolution.

With Jimin, there was so much left unsaid, so much shared life left to live, so many memories to make; how could it be over?

“I just don’t understand,” you sobbed against your best friend’s arm, and you felt her hold her breath as she awaited any further words, not wanting to miss a thing you said. “I already miss him so much.”

“I know,” she whispered gently as she exhaled slowly, resting her chin on the top of your head.

As if months of exhaustion hit you at once, your eyelids started fluttering shut as you relaxed against your friend’s body. “I’m just so tired,” you barely spoke above a whisper, and you felt the faint touch of your friend’s lips to your hair.

“Just sleep,” she told you, just as you began to fade into slumber.

As your mind awakened slowly, the first thing you noticed was the throbbing in your head. Groaning, you reluctantly peeled your eyes open to find the room still dark. The second thing you noticed was the body underneath you, and the person’s arm that was wrapped loosely around your waist.

Lifting your head, you looked at the girl, frowning at her position on the floor. Her neck was awkwardly propped up against the edge of the sofa that was surely going to give her some soreness for a couple days.

Carefully, you lifted your body from the floor, pushing the blanket from your frame and tucking your friend in before you tiptoed across your apartment to the kitchen. As you moved, you realized how stiff your body was, probably both from sleeping on the ground and from the tension built up from your sobbing.

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you reached inside the refrigerator, retrieving two bottles of water for you and your friend. Setting them on the kitchen island, you then made your way to the bathroom to get some pain meds for the aches and pains you were already experiencing and the ones your guest would soon be feeling.

As you reached to open the medicine cabinet, your eyes caught your reflection, halting your movements. The girl staring back at you, her eyes swollen and red, looked so broken. The sight of her had your stomach twisting in discomfort, a lump lodging itself in your throat. Scoffing, you opened the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pain medication. Shutting the mirror quickly, you turned to leave the bathroom before you could lock eyes with your reflection once more.

Upon returning to the kitchen, you spotted the girl sitting at the island with the blanket draped over her back as she rolled her head from side to side across her shoulders. Your swollen eyes met her tired ones, and her expression filled with concern instantly. The look on her face was enough to have you on the verge of another breakdown.

Shaking the pill bottle at her, she nodded. “Yes, please,” she mumbled, her gaze following you as you walked to the island, stopping on the opposite side of her. Pushing one of the water bottles to her, you set the pills down, purposefully avoiding looking at her.

She was quick with opening the bottle, pulling out enough pills for the both of you as she placed your dose down on the countertop, sliding them to you before she popped hers in her mouth, swallowing them down with a drink of water.

“Make sure you drink a lot of that,” she nodded to your own water bottle, making you look up at her as she took another big gulp from hers.

Slowly, you took your pain meds, drinking just enough water to aid them down your throat, the girl staring at you without blinking as she waited for you to drink more. With a huff, you drank more, continuing to swallow the drink until she gave you an approving nod, breaking her eye contact as she twisted the lid back on her own bottle.

You both sat in silence for a moment, your friend obviously unsure of how to approach a conversation. Deciding to help her out, you looked down to the counter as you took a deep breath. “How did you know?” You asked her, the girl’s head snapping toward you.

“Hm?” She hummed in question.

“How did you know what happened? How did you know to come over?” You clarified, dragging your finger in a circular motion across the stone counter.

“Oh, Tae,” she told you. “He texted me asking me if I had heard from you and then he told me what happened.”

“So you know what happened?” You asked curiously, wondering how much Jimin had shared with his best friend, and how much said best friend shared with your best friend.

“I know what happened, but I don’t know any details,” she informed you. “Not that you have to tell me anything, especially not right now, but like, I don’t know what was said or how it was done.”

“Did Taehyung know it was coming?” You asked her, looking up at her when she shook her head.

“I don’t think so,” she told you. “If he did, he definitely didn’t let on to anything. Babe, I don’t think Jimin even knew he was gonna do it.”

“Well he did,” you said angrily. “Through a text.” The girl scoffed in response as she directed her eyes away from you. “Yeah,” you nodded a few times. “Not even a phone call. Just a text.”

“What the fuck?” She asked out of shock, rather than searching for an actual answer. Shrugging in response, the girl shook her head in disappointment. “I don’t understand this at all,” she admitted, you cracking a sad smile at the comment.

“Me either,” you said, your tone fragile as tears filled your eyes. When your best friend’s hands reached across the countertop, enclosing over your own as she held them comfortingly, you dropped your head just as a sob racked through your frame.

“I’m so sorry,” she told you woefully as tears quickly descended from your face to the stone surface, the weight of them as heavy as the pain in your heart.

“I just- we were good together once, weren’t we?” You asked through your cries, looking up at the girl.

She slightly cocked her head to the side as she nodded. “Of course you were.”

“We could be good again, right?” You asked her, the girl’s own orbs glistening in response to you. “I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here,” you admitted pitifully, bowing your head down once more as you cried harder.

She squeezed your hands as she soothed her thumbs over your knuckles. “You don’t have to know anything right now,” she assured you.

“He’s my future,” you wept, thinking back on your relationship with Jimin. He came into your life two years earlier and immediately became everything you wanted. What was life without Jimin? “I’m already lost without him,” you admitted, your friend dropping your hands as she quickly rounded the corner of the island to pull you into a hug.

The girl was right in saying you didn’t need to know anything in that moment. But the truth was, you didn’t want to know anything about a life without Jimin in it.

Jimin was sat on the edge of the bed, his head hanging low as he fidgeted with the phone in his hands.

“I don’t know,” Jimin told Taehyung who was stood across the room staring at his friend carefully. “I don’t know why I did it,” he admitted, shaking his head.

Taehyung licked his lips, his eyes inspecting the disheveled state of his best friend. “I’m just really surprised,” Taehyung admitted, crossing his arms over his chest as his mind tried to comprehend a world where his two friends weren’t together.

“I want her to be happy,” Jimin muttered, his voice frail. “I can’t give her that,” he looked up to Taehyung with teary eyes, blurry with confusion and regret. Sighing, Taehyung approached his friend, Jimin visibly swallowing as if he was trying to choke back the emotion that was threatening to overtake him.

Sitting next to Jimin, Taehyung placed a hand to his shoulder blade as Jimin tensed immediately. “Did I do the right thing?” Jimin asked Taehyung just before his face tensed, his jaw clenched.

“I don’t know,” Taehyung told him, shaking his head slowly.

“She’s all alone,” Jimin realized suddenly, his face contorting as tears rolled down his cheeks immediately after speaking the words.

“I texted Peaches and told her what happened,” Taehyung quickly assured Jimin, soothingly running his hand across Jimin’s upper back. “She’s on her way over there right now.”

“She’s gonna hate me,” Jimin cried, wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

“Which one?” Taehyung asked dumbly, not realizing until after he spoke the words that he shouldn’t have.

“Fuck,” Jimin dropped his head to his knees as sobs shook his frame, Taehyung draping his arms over the man’s back as he attempted to comfort his broken-hearted friend.

Only a few seconds passed before a knock sounded against Jimin’s hotel room door, the man’s head snapping at the entrance as Taehyung stood to answer it. Jimin attempted to rid himself of the tears, not yet ready to admit to the rest of his members that he had broken up with his girlfriend over text with very little thought or discussion.

When Taehyung answered the door, Namjoon stood in the hallway, his face looking down at his phone as he sent a text. “What are you guys up to?” Namjoon asked, looking up to Taehyung briefly before peering back down to the screen.

“Uh,” Taehyung started, his tentativeness catching Namjoon’s attention as he set his gaze on Taehyung once again. When Taehyung didn’t speak immediately, his expression looking rather regretful, Namjoon peeked into the room to spot Jimin on the bed, wiping his face as he sniffled.

“What happened?” Namjoon immediately stepped into his leader role. “What’s wrong, is he ok?” Namjoon began pushing past Taehyung, but the younger man placed his hand to Namjoon’s chest, Namjoon looking at him with wide expectant eyes.

“They just broke up,” Taehyung whispered to his older friend, Namjoon’s jaw dropping slightly as he searched Taehyung’s face as if he was in seek of answers to questions that hadn’t been asked. Directing his eyes back to Jimin, Namjoon’s shoulders slumped.

Stepping into the room, Namjoon headed toward the devastated man. “Jimin,” Namjoon spoke lowly, pulling his member’s attention to him. When Jimin looked to Namjoon, the older man let out a light sigh upon meeting his glistening sad eyes. “Oh, Jimin,” Namjoon said quietly. “What happened?”

“I broke up with her,” Jimin admitted just as he began crying harder.

“Why did you do that?” Namjoon searched for understanding to the situation he definitely did not expect to walk into.

Taehyung watched as Namjoon took a seat at Jimin’s feet, looking up at his wet cheeks and shining orbs. The older man was careful but intentional in seeking answers as Taehyung leaned against the wall across the room.

“Hey,” Namjoon called for Jimin’s attention. “Why did you break up with her? What happened?”

“We’ve been fighting so much,” Jimin revealed through his tears. “Just constant fights.”

“What about?” Namjoon pressed, his calm demeanor coaxing admissions from the younger man.

“Literally everything,” Jimin cried. Jimin’s mind ran through the many disagreements you both had been having. Missed calls, distant conversations, jealousy over how time was being spent, personal frustrations being taken out on each other. “We could never just listen to each other, we kept jumping to accusations, we were always on the defense,” Jimin spoke sadly, sniffling as he wiped his face once more. “We couldn’t speak empathetically with each other anymore it seemed.”

“Have you had conversations about breaks or working on your relationship at all?” Namjoon asked, peering up at his friend. The older man’s intention was not to guilt the younger one, or make him regret what happened, but rather to gather details so he could better handle the situation and be there for his friend.

Shaking his head, Jimin groaned in frustration at himself; at the current situation. “I don’t even fucking know why I did it, I’m so stupid,” Jimin broke down, looking away from both Namjoon and Taehyung as tears cascaded down his face.

“You’re not stupid,” Namjoon sympathized.

Suddenly, Jimin stood aggressively, ripping his hands through his hair as he scoffed. “Yeah I am, what the fuck did I just do?” He yelled, beginning to pace back and forth across a small segment of the room. “I just broke her heart,” he lamented. “I love her and I hurt her.”

Namjoon and Taehyung shared a brief look between them, both feeling horribly sorry and unsure of how to console their friend. “We all know you love her,” Taehyung broke the silence, Jimin looking to him with wide eyes.

“No one is questioning that,” Namjoon added as a preface to what he was about to question. “So why did you decide to end things?”

“I don’t-” Jimin started before Namjoon shook his head at him.

“Whether you regret it or not, you did it for a reason,” Namjoon pointed out. “So why?”

Breathing heavily and sharply, Jimin looked between the two men before releasing a huff of air, and slowly dropping his head toward the direction of the floor.

“I’m sick of hurting each other,” he admitted with a sniffle. “And I’m so afraid of losing her slowly that-”

“So you did it quickly,” Namjoon finished Jimin’s sentence, Jimin nodding.

“You ripped the bandaid off,” Taehyung added, Namjoon looking to Taehyung thoughtfully.

A moment of silence passed over the three of them and Taehyung took the opportunity to check his phone. Seeing no notifications from his best friend, he sighed lightly. He knew the breakup of their closest friends would be difficult to navigate with the girl he loved so dearly. He just didn’t know what was to come yet.

“She gave up so easily,” Jimin suddenly spoke timidly, both Namjoon and Taehyung locking their eyes on him. “Maybe I did the right thing,” Jimin tried to convince himself as he looked between his friends. “Maybe she’ll be happier.”

Happiness. What was it really? For Jimin, it was slow dancing with you in the living room in your apartment, losing yourselves in the moment, each other, and the love you had for one another.

But you two hadn’t spoken in two days, all because of another one of the same fights you continuously had. If you weren’t arguing about a missed video call, you were quarreling about withholding information about what you both had been up to while he was away on tour.

Conversations had become distant and speaking empathetically had diminished with each and every bout.

Jimin was well aware how affected you were by your fights, because he was the same. It became hard to focus on anything else when the remnants of your conflicts lingered in your minds. And if it was becoming too much for him to take on, he could only imagine how difficult it was becoming for you.

So maybe it was time to set you free. Knowing when to let go was always the hardest part. Are you making a mistake? Or have you waited too long? Jimin wasn’t sure. But his message was typed and all he had to do was press send.

Thinking back to your last conversation, a tense one that you both crammed in before he had to do soundcheck and that kept you awake on a weeknight, setting you up for a day of exhaustion at work, his mind got stuck on your finals words before hanging up the phone.

“I can’t keep doing this.”

Whether you were talking about the fights or the relationship, he wasn’t sure. But suddenly, his thumb was pressing down on the screen, sending the message to you.

You had felt sick all day. Not hearing from Jimin and knowing you left things off on a bad note had turned you into an anxious emotional mess. There had been multiple times you’d open your messages with him, preparing to send him a text apologizing, and letting him know you wanted to fix whatever was happening between the both of you.

Pride, or maybe embarrassment, kept you from sending the texts.

Every notification you received made your stomach flutter in nervousness, but it was never him. So when the ding that sounded from your phone was accompanied by his contact name, you rushed to open it.

Reading over the words several times, your mind heart racing more frantically by the second, suddenly you wished you had left the message sit unread forever. Because those words were not what you expected to see. And for the first time, hearing from Jimin made you feel worse rather than better.

Chim: I don’t know if this is working anymore. It feels like we’ve grown apart.

No matter how many times you read over the words, wishing for your mind to unscramble them to relay a message that didn’t sound like giving up, they remained the same. Typing your response, you felt like your thumbs were moving at light speed yet it still wasn’t fast enough.

You: What?

You: What are you doing right now?

You: What is happening?

Holding your breath, you watched as the three dots emerged in the message bubble. As they appeared and disappeared several times in a row, you quickly sent another message.

You: Jimin what the fuck?

When his message came through, you let out the air you held inside your lungs in one sharp exhale, feeling as though the air was viciously pulled from you.

Chim: Isn’t this what we both want? All we do is fight, aren’t you tired?

You: No I don’t want this, fuck I never wanted this.

There was a delay in his response, sending your mind into even more chaos as you tried to convince yourself this wasn’t reality.

You: Is this what you want?

Eyes glued to the screen, you tried to picture what he looked like in that moment. Was he calm? Was he upset? Was he relieved?

Chim: I want us to be happy.

You were happy. Weren’t you? Maybe not so much these days, but you were sure that would change when he came home to you. You only had to hold out for a little over a month until he returned home.

You: And you’re not happy with me?

Chim: Can you honestly say you’re happy? I mean can you really say that truthfully?

You really didn’t know. Did you love him? Yes, more than anything. But maybe the bad days had started outweighing the good. And maybe you just didn’t want to admit that because you did love him as much as you always had.

You: I love you.

Those three words. They held so much meaning. Yet they meant so little in that moment. Because maybe love wasn’t enough anymore.

Chim: Dear. Are you happy?

You were typing the words before you even thought about what they really meant.

You: I don’t care, as long as I have you.

You: I don’t care how often we fight, as long as you’re mine Chim.

Looking back at those messages days later, you’d realize how unhealthy that sentiment was. But in that moment, all you could see was how badly you wanted to hold onto the person you loved the most.

Chim: You deserve more than that. That’s not fair to you, you should be happy.

Was he that despondent in your relationship? So much so that he would remain so adamant about separating?

You: Do you really think we can’t be happy together anymore?

It was then, as you became more hopeless and increasingly desperate that the tears finally pooled along your lash line. If he gave any sense of optimism toward your relationship, you would keep fighting.

Chim: I don’t know.

The tears coursed down your cheeks as you realized he was giving up. You both had always fought for each other, but he was surrendering.

You: Ok fuck.

Neither of you typed for a moment. As you read through the messages, you could feel your world crashing down around you, and you wished it would take you out as it crumbled.

You: How do we fix this? Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.

You knew the message was senseless and hysterical, but it was true to how you were feeling.

Chim: It’s not that easy.

Those words ripped the last of your endurance from your lungs, and suddenly you understood what he was feeling. He was tired. You were both tired. Maybe love really wasn’t enough.

You: Why isn’t it?

As you sent the message, you felt the last of your strength withering as you slumped your head toward your lap, tears still flowing from your eyes.

Chim: It’s just not.

Maybe things wouldn’t change for you. Everything doesn’t always get better with time.

You: I don’t know what to say anymore. It seems like you’ve made your mind up.

Staring at the phone, you scoffed when his text came through.

Chim: I just don’t want use to end up hating each other.

Chim: And I’m scared we’re already headed down that path.

Chim: I’m so sick of hurting you.

Hot tears burned the corners of your eyes before they slid down the edges of your nose.

You: You haven’t been hurting me until now.

It was a lie. You knew you’d both been hurting each other but it didn’t matter because you loved him and you wanted him. You always wanted him.

Chim: Yes I have been. We’ve been hurting each other.

You: But I love you.

It was all you could say. What else was there at that point?

Chim: And how long until you hate me?

Considering the timing of the question, shouldn’t you hate him in that moment? And that’s when you couldn’t see a day where your feelings for him would turn to hatred. Here you were, being dumped by him through text messages while he was overseas, and you still couldn’t hate him. All you could do was love him. You’d always be loving him.

Chim: Of course I love you, but that’s why I’m doing this.

Rolling your eyes, your chest suddenly filled with rage as you read over the words that indicated he was playing some type of hero, saving you from him.

You: Don’t. You don’t get to find consolation in this by pretending to be noble. You’re giving up, don’t fool yourself.

The words were harsh, and you meant them to be. He didn’t get to rip your heart out without having to look at your face as he did so and then convince himself that he’s doing something good for you.

Jimin didn’t respond right away and your impatience took over your judgement. You were losing your lover and your best friend in a matter of seconds, and the only control you had over it was a few measly texts.

You: Anything else?

The three dots appeared immediately but they stayed on the screen for nearly twenty seconds before the message came through.

Chim: I’m sorry.

Breathing out slowly, your face contorted as a sob escaped your frowning lips. You knew he was sincere, but it didn’t change the fact that he was quitting on you.

You: Right.

You watched as a few tears pooled onto the phone screen, bubbling over the word “sorry”. The three dots appeared once again, but you refused to wait for the incoming message. He was giving up and you didn’t want to hear anything else from him. Quickly, you typed your final message and sent it without thinking about it too much, looking down at the words that had just arrived to his phone.

You: Don’t ever speak to me again.

Your message hurt your own heart as you unattractively blubbered. Locking the phone, you threw it to the side of the couch next to you just before collapsing into a ball against the cushion, heavy sobs and hiccups shaking your body violently.

And Jimin was left staring at his phone, tears in his own eyes as he read over his half-typed text.

Fuck no I don’t want this I don’t know what I’m doi

His eyes were only pulled from the phone when Taehyung let himself into the room using the spare key. When their gazes met each other, Jimin dropped the phone to the floor and shrugged sadly at his friend.

“I fucked up.”

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starglow-xx · 4 years ago

Text

having your period

tanizaki junichiro x f!reader

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff

warning?: im not sure if this is a trigger, but mentions of wanting to “rip out your uterus” - if this is too sensitive, comment or message me and i’ll remove it from the head canons, and uh suggestive content?? sorta?? no sure but marking it as a warning anyways

type of work: head canons

synopsis: being a female is especially hard at a certain time of the month, but he will always take care of you

author’s note: he’s so underrated and there’s a lack of content for him so if i have to single handedly write everything for him i will

and im on my period and my stomach hurts so here you can have this

also, in these hcs, naomi lives on her own in the dorms :)

okay so he has a sister so you think he’d know what he’s doing right?

well sort of

like he does know what to do, it’s just that he’ll probably panic bit first

come on

the girl he loves is in pain and he doesn’t know why

he’d see you all bundled in blankets in pain and panic and then he’d just be like oh

it’d click and then he’d relax a little

but then in his head, he’d be like “oh no now you’re crying where are tHE TISSUES—”

with all the shit he’s gone through working for the agency i feel like fukuzawa would let him take a day off or two cause he’s just that kind of guy yk

and seeing as junichiro is one of yosano’s more uh frequent patients, he probably would

tanizaki does the same sweet things every single time, but depending on how you’re feeling, the order changes

with his day off he’d just be your personal servant basically

he’d cook for you, he’d clean up your shared apartment, he’ll do the laundry, etc. just so that you wouldn’t have to get up

if your emotions are all over the place he’d listen no matter how mad, sad, or ridiculous you’re being at the moment

you’re sad and crying over smth? he’ll find the tissues and leave soft kisses all over your face bc “please don’t be sad, im here for you”

god he’s so cute

if you’re mad and need someone to listen to your rants? he’s right there with an pillow nearby just in case you need to hit something

you just had a crazy idea and want to do it? he’ll be like “okay sure, but not right now, you’re pain” while internally hoping you don’t remember the next day

if your pain level at the moment is “please just rip out my uterus” (i quote my best friend), then he’d just stay and cuddle in bed with you holding you close to him

every time you’d whimper, he’d hold you tighter whispering comforting words while rubbing soft circles underneath your shirt on your lower abdomen

he just makes the pain so much more bearable

who needs a heating pad when you have your angel of a boyfriend with you?

but if you’d still like the heating pad, he’d still get it for you :)

eventually, you’d drift off to sleep mumbling or whispering to him that you love him

it never fails to make a goofy grin and light blush appear on his face

once he’s sure you’re asleep, he’ll ever so gently get out of bed then arranges all the pillows and blankets the best and comfiest way possible all while making sure you don’t wake up

he’d kiss your forehead then goes out to buy you your favorite flowers and chocolate as well as your favorite takeout for whatever time of day it is, whether it be time for breakfast, lunch, snack, or dinner

also gets more pain meds if you need them; he’ll either buy them or go get some from naomi

after eating time, it’s bath time !!

he’ll run a warm bath for you and adds bubbles and bath salts; the nice scented kind

he’ll even dig through the closet and find that one scented candle you really like

he’d carry you to the bathroom and help you undress and wash your hair

if you ask, he’ll get into the bath with you and you’ll each take turns washing each other’s hair

when you’re done, he’ll give you one of his shirts and sweaters to wear, dry your hair and even style it (he has experience with his sister)

he honestly just likes running his finger through your hair no matter how short or long

he’ll make pigtails, ponytails, braids, but he especially loves it when you’re wearing his hair clips

that’s both his and your go to

if it isn’t the end of the day by then, it definitely is now

so that means more cuddles !! <3

he’ll big spoon you, or you’ll be facing each other, but it doesn’t really matter because you guys switch between them

during cuddle time, the two of you would just quietly talk, or whisper loving words to one another

the occasional tickle fight would happen too

it just makes him so happy hearing you squeal and burst out in a fit of laughter

literal music to his ears

i feel like he’d be one of those guys who would say that thing that’s along the lines of “i could stop your period for nine months if you’d like” as a joke to see you get worked up bc he thinks it cute when you get flustered

i mean he is a teenage boy (he’s 18!)

what do you expect 🤷‍♀️

he’d say it when things start to get settled and quiet, so you won’t expect it

“hey (y/n)?”

“yes?”

“i could stop your period for nine months if you’d like”

“?!”

he thinks it’s adorable when you start to stammer and cover your face with your hands

but ohoho if the tables turn, well his face is just as red as yours if not more

it can go either two ways

one, you say yes without all the flusteredness, but he doesn’t know if you’re being serious or not making him panic a bit (read: a lot)

“hey (y/n)?”

“yes?”

“i could stop your period for nine months if you’d like”

“...okay, just don’t be too rough alright?”

“wait huh?!”

“isn’t that what you wanted?”

“i-i didn’t really mean—”

“so, you don’t wanna have a baby with me?” :(

“NO! I-I MEAN! I-I mean I do, but—”

yeah a lot of panicking but he’s still cute 😖💗

it would go with you still getting flustered, but you would also still say yes, making him also flustered

“hey (y/n)?”

“yes?”

“i could stop your period for nine months if you’d like”

“?! I-I y-you huh?!”

“you’re adorable”

“junichiro stop it” >:(

“sorry, i can’t help myself” >:)

“but...*mumbles*”

“what was that (y/n)? i didn’t catch that”

“err uhh, i mean, if that’s what you want, im okay with it... i’d be lying if i haven’t thought about it, but i think it’d be better to get married first don’t you think?”

“...”

“junichiro...??”

im sorry your boyfriend has short circuited

make him work again by kissing him on his nose and holding his face in your hands

actually, that might break him more, but you never know

this scenario makes him the most flustered bc a: you were acting so cute it makes his heart happy and b: ohmygod you want start a family with him and get married and—

yeah that’s how that would go

depending on how you act, you can pick how it would go if you do end up choosing to throw his words back in his face or not

overall, he’d just be the sweetest boyfriend

10000+/10 would recommend

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

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