#and they very nicely in the most polite and lovely way declined bc they have work in the morning

[friedroses]

.

[citrustan]

lovefool [drabble 1] (jjk)

pairing: jeon jungkook × reader

genre: angst, fluff (sort of), smut

summary: where you and jungkook innocently flirt and get scrutinized by yuna.

word count: 1k

note: this is part of the 'lovefool' (and chapter 2) au. I have another drabble lined up. I had to cut this one short bc it was longer than the second chapter lol so that’s drabble 2 now and it’ll be out in a few days’ time too.

When Yuna first introduced the two of you, she didn't expect you to still be around after a week.

Jungkook had a routine.

He made his intentions perfectly clear to the girls he met, he's in it for a good time and that was it. Nobody stuck around for more than five days, Jungkook just wasn't interested.

Yuna hopes it's just because you're a lot harder to get into bed with that you're around for so long.

The slightest thought of Jungkook possibly being interested in you for more than sex riles her up. She doesn't think you're his type and doesn't believe you had it in you to even befriend a man like Jungkook, let alone date him. She had already formed an opinion on you on the basis of your growing relationship with her best friend.

You're all at Jungkook's apartment along with three of their older friends--- Jimin, Taehyung and Seokjin.

They've all been very welcoming to you and have accepted you as a part of their circle.

You're thankful for that because even after a month into your first year, you had not managed to make a single friend (other than your Roman Catholic roommate: she's probably nice but her political views are concerning). So, you were glad to have met Yuna.

Neither you nor Yuna herself realize how hard she's leering at you while her best friend flirts with you--- Jungkook is currently comparing the size of your hand with his.

His hand easily envelopes your smaller one, making you blush violently.

You remember reading a Tumblr post that stated this interaction as the epitome of flirting.

You're seated on his lounge chair (that she picked out) while Jungkook is seated on the armrest.

Jungkook now wants to play thumb fight with you.

It's just some innocent flirting.

You feel like you're fifteen again, watching Park Sooyoung play tennis. She was your 'first love'. You had not felt this way in a long time but you couldn't separate your emotions.

It was difficult for you to figure out why you felt this was--- was it just because Jungkook was the most attractive man you've ever seen? Is it because you've been so touch starved that you'd go for anyone at this point? Is it because you know he's completely out of your league?

These thoughts bothered you every day.

Anytime Jungkook would text you or call you, your first instinct is to ignore him or decline his phone call.

Obviously, you choose to force yourself to socialize instead.

"They look like they're having fun," Taehyung approaches Yuna, "She's Jungkook's type, don't you think?"

They watched as Jungkook playfully messes with your hair while you scowl at him.

When Yuna doesn't respond, Taehyung bends down to her level, "Yu? Don't overthink it, he's probably too blind to notice it and he'll be over her sooner than you think."

"You don't need to tell me twice. It's a shame though. She and I would've gotten along." Yuna flashes him a close-lipped smile.

Taehyung laughs out a 'yeah sure' and makes his way back into the kitchen where the two other men prepared dinner.

Yuna can't make sense of her contempt towards you just yet.

All she wanted was to go back to spending time with Jungkook like they used to before you came into the picture.

If you really think about it, in a way, Yuna was somewhat clingy too but she gets a free pass because she's the childhood best friend.

The purpose of this whole dinner was to get you and Jungkook's friends acquainted.

Later that night, you discover that Taehyung and you were attending the same university, however, he's attending as a TA for art history, which was one of your extra credit courses. You felt like you hit the jackpot. They're a very diverse friend group. You were making a lot of important connections here too.

You're currently in the kitchen trying to figure out how to work the portable mini oven.

You brought cookie dough for dessert. You noticed Yuna never spoke to you the whole night.

You threw many balls at her but she never caught on to your clues and conversation starters. So, you really don't know anything about her.

Incidentally, she barges into the kitchen and is shocked to see you there.

"_____, I figured you'd have left by now.”

“Oh, no, well- I was waiting for an opportunity to talk to you and hopefully-” you start but get cut off by Jungkook placing his arms around the two of you. “Look at us, me and my two favourite girls.”

Yuna hated the dumb look on your face. Your crush on her best friend was obvious.

Jungkook let go of Yuna and directed all hid attention to you. He brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your eyes, “Let me give you a ride home.”

“I thought you were driving me home?” Yuna pouted.

Jungkook tapped her on the cheek, “No, that’s why I asked you to bring your car, dummy. _____ lives on the opposite route so we can’t carpool.”

“Why can’t she bring her own car?” Yuna childishly folds her arms.

“It doesn’t matter, Yuna, it was pre-”

“Or just let her go with Taehyung- or, the bus? Aren’t you used to public transport anyway? Why do I have to change my entire schedule?”

Yuna doesn’t mean to be bitchy. Trust her when she says she realises how trashy she sounds.

She almost winced after those remarks left her mouth.

Before you or Jungkook could interrupt, Taehyung swooped in and offered to take you home. You instantly agreed.

It’d be a lie if you said you weren’t disappointed you wouldn’t get to spend more time with Jungkook.

But you knew better than to be in the middle of two best friends.

You don’t exactly know their relationship yet. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t available to you in the way you’d want. It’s too soon to tell.

You can tell Yuna was uncomfortable around you. She seemed vicious and you didn’t want to deal with that just yet. As long as you haven’t actively tried to offend her, it’s her issue, not yours.

Taehyung’s company is great. You discuss a little bit of everything under the sun, from moss to Jeff Bezos’ dumb space adventure, except Jungkook and Yuna, on the car ride back to your dormitory.

He dropped you at your door and watched you go in as per Jungkook’s request.

Yuna stayed back at Jungkook’s place after the short altercation.

Jungkook knows something’s off but won’t address it until Yuna does. So, he ignores the shift in her behaviour.

He dropped her home the next day after lunch.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: can you write headcanons for moriarty brothers meeting and having dinner with s/o's parents for the first time? and s/o's father is overprotective. thanks 🤍🙆🏻 |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1857

tw: mentions of toxic behavior in albert’s hcs

a/n: IM BACK AND THRIVING BBS!!! it’s so good to be back again to writing!!! hhh i’m so sorry if this is far from what you wanted but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!! lowkey went off the railings w this one so 👀 also if i missed any tags, please let me know!!!!!

william: 803 words

it had been you and your father since you were younger bc your mom was the “lucky” choice of some noble

but you wouldn’t have it any other way

you two are very close and everyone in the town knows

that, and that you both hate nobles

so it’s no surprise when the moriartys move into town, you’re both less than pleased

you always try your best to avoid them whenever they come into your town and your father always begs his friends to take the nobles as customers, despite the fact it could be good for business

but the town you lived in was particularly small and you did end up bumping into william

literally

some stupid man didn’t see you crossing the road and you were nearly crushed by the carriage if it hadn’t been for the hand that pulled at your wrist

“i swear people these days don’t know how to drive carriages.”

you don’t know who you were expecting

BUT ANYONE BUT A NOBLE

“are you alright?”

“i’m fine thank you—“

you’re absolutely flustered

how did i not know that this was a noble??? he smells so clean!

“i’ve got to be on my way now!” and you left william there with no explanation

but lil did you know he actually knew who you were

or to an extent, you weren’t as sneaky as you’d hoped you’d be

he saw you hiding in corners and alleyways every time you two accidentally made eye contact

and some of the townsfolk actually told him a little about you and your father so he understood why you weren’t too welcoming

but to take great lengths to avoid him??? he is very intrigued

so he starts off small, trying to send you a kind smile before you dart off behind a fruit stall

he really tries his best to get close to you and after a few weeks (and a few persuasive friends), he finally gets to hold a conversation with you

and boy does he fall FAST

it takes a while but you finally reciprocate his feelings and he thinks its smooth sailing from there right???

lmao everyone knows your father is literally the most intimidating looking man that could ever walk the earth

if they didn’t know him personally, they would be afraid of getting curb stomped 🤠

i mean,, he’s a big softie but god forbid anyone even DARES to look at you in a romantic light

you warn william of this and he’s like “don’t worry love, it shouldn’t be too bad”

it is bad

even william has cold hands bc your father is giving him the dirtiest look

dinner isn’t even dinner it’s a grill with how much questions your father is asking him

it does NOT help that he’s a noble

“so,,, you’re a noble”

“your cooking is amazing sir”

your father leaves the table for a little bit and you can hear the quiet sigh of relief from william

“i’m sorry for my father”

“no, no,,, i just,,, your father’s really intimidating, isn’t he?”

you let out a chuckle and william relaxed, a soft smile gracing his lips

“he can be, but it’s just something he does.” you threw a wistful gaze at the door your father disappeared before.

“he’s just worried about you, i can see it. he doesn’t want you around people like me.” you grabbed his hand over the table and he gently squeezed your hand.

“if anything, if he’d give you a chance, he’d want me to be with you. noble or not”

you both continue to have a delightful conversation, your sweet laughs filling the room

however, you didn’t know your father was listening in on your conversation and he couldn’t agree more with william

your mother left with more than just a curt goodbye and unshed tears

she left you with a tear stained letter filled with sorrowful regrets and sincere apologies

he knew you would eventually grow up to be critical of the world and if you were to find out that your mother had left unwillingly, he was afraid that you would be too bitter towards the world

but as he hears your laugh and his worries are dulled down a little

he sees you smiling so happily at william and when he chances a glance at the noble beside you, his worries are completely erased

william’s looking at you the same way everyone swore he looked at your mother

it’s a gentle gaze filled with love and kindness, one that he knew could protect you and take care of you

your father hated nobles and hovered over you when it came to love

but he couldn’t help but hold back on questions when he came back and you instantly noticed that your father took a liking william

louis: 508 words

everyone knew you as “Little Noble” in your town

the sole reason being your father literally treating you like a noble lmao

he gave you the best of everything he could afford and tried his best to not let you do any work

tried

of course, you were a little angel and you HAD to help otherwise you’d cry about making someone else tired when you could’ve easily helped

you’ve carried this trait until your early twenties and there were no signs that you would stop

hence why you were bringing home some fresh fruits from the stall clerk before a man bumps into you

you were so caught off guard that your knee buckled and you fell on your butt

everyone was stunned into silence as you fell but louis was so apologetic

so when he helped you back up, he felt the chilling stares of the town burning into his back

and then you apologize for bumping into him when he was the one who bumped into you and you fell??????

“please, let me make you something! i feel so bad!”

he tries to decline but there was this odd pressure to say yes to you

he ends up going home with you

you’re both in front of the door before your father opens it, his eyes wide

“who is this boy?”

“oh, i didn’t get his name on the way here. what is your name?”

your poor father’s heart is pounding way too fast for his liking

“oh! look at that, thank you so much for bringing my child home! you should be going home now”

he tries to shut the door on louis but you hold it open and beckon louis inside

“i invited him here! i accidentally bumped into him earlier so i offered to make him something!”

louis is so awkward pls

your father reluctantly lets him in but gives him a side eye the whole time he’s in the house

“does your child do this often?”

“why? do you find it strange?”

YOUR FATHER IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PLEASE SAVE LOUIS

anyways, you finish making your treat and give it to louis, your father glaring at your interaction

louis is still a little stiff but the more you talk to him, his guard is let down a little

soon enough he has to leave and you wish him well

he leaves with a wave and a kind smile and you look over at your father who had been scowling since you appeared at the front door

“he is a bit cute, don’t you think father?”

your father sputters, stunned by your bold claim

“y-you’re still too young to think about men like that!”

you laugh and shut the front door, teasing your poor father about finding love while also wondering if you would meet louis again

as you talk with your father behind closed doors, louis smiles to himself as he thinks about the unusual encounter today

surely, if i met them again tomorrow, it would make for a pleasant day

albert: 546 words

he meets your father before he meets you

it was during a ball your parents organized in order to connect with the more prestigious nobles around you

your parents were obsessed with the way your family was viewed and apparently being an earl wasn’t enough

so albert hears about you when your father boasts about how you’re the perfect child who answered to his every beck and call

in all honesty, albert was disgusted

no one deserved to be brought up like that

he casually makes his way into the conversation and your father is seething

“my child is your age, it’s a shame you act like this, i would have thought of you as a prime husband for them”

who is this earl to tell him what to do?

needless to say your father crosses him off of the guest list for the next ball

days go by and your father doesn’t know that you’re currently in town, doing what you can to help the working class as best as you can

it is on one particular day of visiting an orphanage do you run into the eldest moriarty brother

you two exchange polite greetings and you both pause

“your father is the earl, is he not?”

“you are a general of the army, are you not?”

a brief mention of your father and your mood dulls slightly

“yes, but i’m here on my own accord”

he would kill you if he found out you were amongst the “filth” as he called them

“well, i’ve brought books for the children, would you like to help me read some to them?”

he seemed sincere enough to not want anything more from you, so you agreed

he was actually very pleasant to be around and you find yourself enjoying his company

the meetups continued to happen and soon enough, albert finds himself standing in front of the doors to your family estate

your father is not pleased at all

“it’s nice to meet you again, sir”

“i didn’t forget about what you said to me at our first meeting”

and you’re sitting there like,, ????? they’ve met??? and your father doesn’t like albert???????

of course, inviting albert to your home would have repercussions but you didn’t expect your father to be so hostile

he was always hostile towards other nobles unless they were of higher importance than him

but for him to hate albert so quickly and openly??? this was quite new

you had mentioned that your father has always been one for power so it was clear to albert that you obviously grew up in a home that was more,,, toxic than protective

it was at dinner that this behavior reached its peak and albert despised the atmosphere and the way your father treated you

“i’ve come here to ask for your child’s hand in marriage”

your father rejects the idea without any hesitation

“i refuse to have them live the rest of their life in your household when they could do so much better”

when you invited albert that night, you knew there would be repercussions with your father

but what you didn’t expect was that you would leave your father and adopt the moriarty name as your own, the family welcoming you with open arms

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 6

a/n: now you’ll all see why i said be excited for ch. 6 lmao. (also, with ch. 5 not showing up in the tags for a minute, some might not have seen it, so i’ll link it here) but anyways, this chapter was difficult to write bc i’m not used to writing anything but angst lmao. and huge shoutout to my baby gracie for helping me out with this chapter. please enjoy and i’d love to hear feedback

also, like i told an anon, this is in memory of bee’s hair :((  (he still looks good with the new hair, don’t get me wrong)

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland​ @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior

warnings: (2) your mom jokes, jealous!joel?, once again simp nation for the both of them, swearing (it’s a problem ngl), idiocy 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 4.1k

(gif not mine)

When you told Marcus and Michelle that you had to be out for a month, they advised you to only come to the gym three times a week for two hours for the first two weeks and you’d figure out a plan for the two weeks after, that way you could take a much needed break out of the gym. The thing stressing you out the most was gym and they obviously realized it, so they were hopeful it would give you a chance to breathe. 

You planned to go to the gym Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays from 6-8am and then you would spend the rest of your day at home doing whatever you needed to do that day. The first Monday you spent those two hours doing ab workouts and helping the other girls around the gym, then you went home and stayed in your room for the rest of the day. You put your phone on do not disturb, so no one heard from you, which caused Kevin to come to your apartment to make sure you were okay. 

Tuesday played out the exact same way, early practice, then going home and staying in bed, and Kevin coming to make sure you were alright. Kevin even invited you to come out with him and some of the boys, which you politely declined saying they should have their time together. Wednesday, you simply stayed in bed, choosing to actually keep your phone on today, you were just tired and felt drained from everything going on right now that you couldn’t really muster up the energy to talk to anyone. 

Wednesday night, as you were rewatching Marvel movies, your phone started ringing with a call from Ryanne. Quickly answering it, “hey Ry.”

“Hey babes, how’re you doing?”

“I’ve been better, I’ve also been worse, so.”

“Me and Claude were wondering if you’d want to come over and hang out with us and Gav for some of the day, we’ll provide food and such, but we miss you, babe. So, we figured we’d ask while you have a chance.” 

In reality, Ryanne had heard from Claude that you wouldn’t be able to do extensive training for at least a month. She might not have known much about gymnastics, but she knew you well enough to know that you were always constantly training - she was well aware that if that ever got taken from Claude that he would be devastated if he was out for that long and with two weeks to prepare for a big game.

She had checked in to see how you were with Kevin one day after practice and when he mentioned everything that was going on, she was worried about you. She knew that she likely wouldn’t be able to help much, but she did know that there was one part of the equation she could help. Knowing that she already had a plan to have a send off party before the boys went on a roadie and also knowing that everyone on the team would be there, she somehow conveniently planned to invite you over a few hours before it started. 

“Oh, yeah, I’d love to, honestly. What time do you want me over?”

“Anytime after three is fine. I’ll see you then, hun. Oh, and wear something cute.”

“Why exactly?”

“Just do it,” Ryanne said, not having time to think of an excuse, “bye.”

As you were about to say something else, the ring that told you she had hung up rang out. 

…..

Joel wasn’t doing as good as he wanted to be recently and with an upcoming roadie, he knew he needed to spend more time on the ice before the game. Having asked a few of the guys to work with him during an unscheduled morning skate, he was able to work on what he needed to. 

“Wait, so she’s out how long?” Joel overheard Travis ask Kevin as he made his way into the locker room. 

“Like four weeks, but two weeks with the brace and basically no training, then two weeks with athletic tape on her knee and no hard landings. But she’ll only have two weeks before Championships, so she's not feeling too great about it. Plus, she has to use her brace and crutches again and she didn’t enjoy that the first time,” Kevin replied. 

“Is she going to be okay?” Joel hadn’t meant to ask his question aloud, but as soon as Kevin heard his voice a smile grew on his face. 

“Yeah, Lover Boy, she’ll be fine. She hasn’t really been up to do anything recently, but other than that I think she’ll be okay. She has to use her crutches again, which is honestly very entertaining,” Kevin stated before turning to leave the locker room, turning right as he got to the doorway, “random question, are you planning on going to G’s for the send off party tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering,” and with that Kevin was gone, leaving a confused Joel behind. 

Kevin knew that you had a lot on your plate right now and that you wouldn’t want to go to anyone about your problems. He also knew that the both you and Joel, were simply too stubborn to fix the problem going on between you on your own, hence why he had mentioned something to Ryanne. He knew that Ryanne would jump at the chance to be able to help you feel better and as soon as she mentioned the party set-up idea, he was in. The plan was then mentioned to most of the team, knowing that the help of many was needed in order to help the two idiots. 

….. 

After sending Kevin a quick text that you were leaving, you left your apartment and made your way to Ryanne and Claude’s house. Gently knocking on the door, you smiled when Ryanne opened the door, “awe, babe, I’m so happy you’re here, I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too. Not to be rude, but where is the tiny human?” you asked, looking past Ryanne to see Gavin walking towards you, “hi, bub. Oh my god, you’re getting so big.” 

“Well if you came around more often, you’d get to see him more,” Ryanne mumbled, watching you play with the boy in front of you. 

“I heard that,” you said, in a sing-song voice.

“You were supposed to,” she replied, mocking your tone, “anyways, Claude is on his way back from the store, so he’ll be here soon, but I haven’t talked to you in forever, how’s everything? How’s gym?”

“Oh, well. I’ve been better, this last meet definitely wasn’t all that great and not being able to train doesn’t really help my case either, but I’m making the most of it,” you said, shrugging. 

“And you’re actually having to listen to Adrian this time around?” she said, pointedly, causing you to chuckle. 

“Yeah, I have to actually listen to Adrian this time,” you smiled, “I hate that I have to actually wear my knee brace, though. And I have to use crutches. Can you believe that?”

“Considering it’s you, I’m more shocked that you’re actually using them.” 

“Ry, shh, let’s not call me out too much today,” you replied. 

It wasn’t too long before you heard the front door open, Claude walking in a few seconds later, “awe, it’s my favorite babysitter. Come on, babe, let’s leave while we can.”

“Haha, I almost forgot how funny you are, G,” you said, sarcastically. 

“I’m sure, I’m sure. You know what would be nice though?”

“What?”

“Helping me put the groceries up,” he said, smiling sweetly causing you to groan. 

“Are chores and babysitting all I’m good for to you?”

“Well,” he looked up to the ceiling, as if he were thinking for another answer,”hm, nothing comes to mind, y/n/n.”

“Oh, that was mean,” Ryanne said, playfully elbowing Claude. 

“Thank-”

“She’ll never babysit again if we’re mean to her,” Ryanne smirked. 

“Oh, wow, I see how it is, don’t worry,” you said, the three of you laughing. 

As the three of you were setting out groceries - you mostly sitting on the kitchen island, taking things out of the bag - the three of you caught up. Claude talking about his hopes for these next few games, Ryanne talking about how Gavin was doing - not missing the few times Gav ran through the kitchen -, and you talking about whatever you could. 

“Ok, so we haven’t brought this up yet, but I was just wondering if you had any idea what’s going on with Beezer? I know you guys had gotten closer recently and he’s just not himself, so I’m asking if you know anything,” Claude asked, closing the fridge before turning back to you. Both him and Ryanne had a pretty good idea of what happened, but if they were missing something, they wanted to know. 

“Oh, um, well, about that one,” you sighed, gathering your thoughts, “me and him kinda haven’t talked since I told him I only wanted to be friends.” 

“Ok, but from the looks of it, it looked like both of you wanted to be more than friends?” 

“Yeah, but, there’s a lot more to it, you know.”

“No, actually, I’m a tad bit lost, y/n/n.”

“Look, I can’t have any distractions right now and I was worried about it affecting gymnastics, so I told him I only want to be friends.”

“That’s dumb,” Claude replied, quickly.

“Thank you, many people have mentioned that.”

“He has no place to talk in a situation like this,” Ryanne finally spoke up, causing you to look between the pair confused, “when his life was just hockey, hockey, and hockey, nothing could fill those spots. So, when our relationship was first starting he did the same thing to me that you’re doing to Bee.”

“This was supposed to be a philosophical moment and you messed it up,” Claude replied. 

“I didn’t mess it up, you’re just mad because you basically called yourself dumb. But pushing him away isn’t a smart option and it just hurts both of you in the process,” Ryanne said before walking back to where Gavin was. 

“Look, I know you said you didn’t want distractions, but this seems to be having a worse effect on you than you hoped. From the looks of it, when you started pushing him away, it affected your performance. Just pointing that out for you.”

“Yeah, I know. You didn’t have to point it out, you know.”

“Yeah, but you would have continued to ignore the obvious fact that you were just scared of a relationship in general,” he shrugged.

“I don’t even know how to talk to him about it or at least how to start the conversation.”

“Well, lucky for you,” he looked down to check his watch, “the guys are all coming over in like 10 minutes, so you’ll see him then.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it’s a send off party for the roadie this weekend, why do you think we got so many groceries?” and with that he left you in the kitchen by yourself. 

…..

Joel sat in the backseat of Kevin’s car, Nolan in the passenger seat, as they made their way to G’s house. By the time they got there, most of the guys had already gotten there, seeing a few familiar cars in the driveway, but one stood out in particular. He knew that it was yours from some of the times he had seen you driving, “what’s y/n/n doing here?”

Nolan and Kevin both chuckled at that, “she came over here earlier to watch Gavin, I think,” Kevin said. 

“Oh, cool,” Joel replied, attempting to sound nonchalant as possible 

“Don’t try to act like you’re not freaking out. You aren’t slick, dude,” Nolan added, shaking his head, “you two better talk, too. Because everyone is tired of the two of you being idiots and not talking shit out.” 

“We’re not idiots.”

“You are,” the other two said in unison. Joel didn’t try to argue as he followed the pair inside their captain’s house. 

As soon as he entered the house, he took note that almost all the team was here, most of the team was outside, but he immediately found you sitting on one of the barstools with Gavin sitting on your lap as you talked with Ryanne. “Go talk to her,” Nolan whispered, causing him to jump. 

“God, Pat. What the fuck?” Joel said turning around. 

“I said what I said. You’ll have to talk at some point, might as well just do it. Plus, she’s on crutches, so like, if she wants to run away it will take her a while.”

“Um, that’s- I mean, that’s valid, but-”

“At some point today, you should talk to her. I obviously can’t make you and it’s up to you, but I think it would help fix things,” Nolan said, shrugging.

“Yeah, I know, I know. I plan on it.” 

You and Ryanne had stayed inside with Gav since the boys were grilling outside, so when Nolan, Kevin, and Joel walked in, you were one of the first people to notice. Kevin made his way over to you almost as soon as he came in, “so, you enjoying the party?”

“Considering I didn’t know it was happening, sure I’m having a great time, Kev.”

“Well, I guess it’s a surprise party then,” you quickly shot him a glare, “surprise.” 

As you heard the back door open, you looked up to see Joel already looking at you, shooting you a quick smile as he followed his teammate to go outside. “I swear, if all you guys do tonight is spare glances at each other and don’t talk, I’m going to lose it,” Ryanne said from beside you. 

“I think everyone will, to be honest,” Kevin added, “well, I’m going outside. If you need any help, just let me know.” 

The boys had a few different plans in place to get the two of you to talk; conveniently sending Joel in to help while you were inside, telling Joel to go help out inside, asking Joel to get Gavin, and as a last resort, make Joel jealous. 

When everyone had been done eating, Claude asked some of the younger guys to help him clean up and bring out the cooler with drinks that was still inside. Joel had somehow conveniently avoided going inside while helping and when he did, he went straight to the kitchen and right back out. He wasn’t wanting to avoid you all night, but he didn’t know what to do. Shortly after, Claude had asked Joel to go in and get Gavin, somehow right as you had left Gavin with Ryanne, which also ruined that plan. 

Ryanne knew that it would be suspicious if they kept trying those same plans. So instead, she basically forced you to go outside with her. She helped you get outside, Kevin shooting up from his chair to help you get down the stairs of the deck, “you don’t have to help me out, Kev.”

“Knowing you, you would trip and break something. You’re already hurt enough,” he said, causing you to roll your eyes. As Kevin looked up, he didn’t miss the way Joel lit up as he saw you, “hey, your boy is looking over here.”

Looking up, your eyes once again met his, to which you sent him a light smile, “yeah, he’s been watching me since I stepped out here.”

“y/n/n, you would only know that if you were looking at him, too.”

“Yeah, I never said that I wasn’t though.” 

“You know, it’s obvious the two of you aren’t mad at each other or anything like that. So, why the fuck haven’t you talked yet?”

“Oh, um. Words are hard,” you said, walking away towards Travis and Nolan on your crutches. 

“You’re literally on crutches, you aren’t moving that fast.”

“You know who else isn’t moving that fast?”

“y/n. I swear, if this is another your-”

“Your mom,” you yelled back to him. 

“What is up with you and making your mom jokes?” Nolan asked as you got closer to them. 

“They’re funny?” 

“y/n/n just has the sense of humor of a middle school boy, that’s why her and Beezer got along so well,” Travis added, helping you move your crutches so you could sit down at the table they were at, “how are the crutches?”

“How’s your mom?” you laughed, causing the two of them to groan, “nah, they’re not fun. In any way shape or form.”

As you were talking to Nolan and Teeks, Kevin and Ryanne realized that none of the plans they had tried were working. Both of them knew that the only plan that would probably work was to make Joel jealous, so Kevin texted Carter, Morgan, Nolan, and Teeks to let them know that was the plan that they were going with. 

“y/n looks really good today,” Carter said, causing Joel to spit out his drink. 

“Better watch yourself, Hartsy,” Joel replied, shooting a glare towards his friend. 

“I was just being honest, she really does. There’s nothing going on between you guys anymore, right?” Carter watched as Joel visibly tensed at the mention of what was happening between the two of you, knowing that the plan was working he continued, “I mean, if nothings going on between you two, then she’s single, right?”

“Well, I mean-” Joel stuttered out, “we haven’t talked in a while, but that doesn’t mean-”

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Carter said, making his way over to the table you were at, causing Nolan and TK to chuckle as they saw Joel’s face drop, “hey, y/n/n.”

“Hey, Hartsy, it’s been a minute. How is everything?” you smiled. You kept talking to the group around you for a while, not noticing the way Joel was becoming visibly angry. He didn’t want to seem jealous, but he assumed that Carter had been flirting with you this whole time, so he made the executive decision to talk to you now. 

Since your back was facing him, you didn’t see him coming, but the three boys around you did, only trying to hide their smiles since the plan was actually working. “Hey y/n, can we talk?” he asked. 

You turned around to finally face the boy you had been avoiding, “yeah, hold on a sec.” As you continued some of your conversation, Joel was getting more and more irritated, mostly because Carter was sending looks his way that he couldn’t exactly read. Joel, being the impatient person he was, pulled the chair you were sitting at away from the table, pulling you up to stand before lifting you up over his shoulder, “Bee, what the fuck?”

He simply ignored you as he carried you up the stairs and back inside his captain’s house. You tried pushing yourself off as he made his way up the stairs, but it was deemed useless when he just tightened his grip, “Farabee, I swear to god. I will hurt you.”

Eventually, he opened the door to the guest bathroom and gently set you down on the counter before locking the door, “what the fuck was that for? If you want to talk, you could have just waited a second. But no, you had to be all dramatic about it,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“Are you done?” Joel asked, crossing his arms and leaning back against the door.  

“I mean, yeah. Are you?” 

“Yeah, but I’m tired of us ignoring each other and I miss you, so we need to figure stuff out.”

“Awe, you miss me? That’s cute,” you smiled. 

“y/n/n, I swear, now is not the time for that one.”

“Ok, sorry. I’ll be serious now,” you said, crossing your arms to mock him. 

“I just want to know what happened at the lake?” 

“Oh, we’re going straight to the point, alright,” you sighed, “look, what I said at the lake wasn’t true. I got this idea in my head that if you were in my life, you were a distraction from what I wanted.”

“How’d that work out for you?” he said, smirking. 

“Oh, no, see that’s what we’re not going to do. No need for the attitude. Anyways, I had this idea that if anything happened between us, that I would mess it up and it would mess everything in my life up. So, pushing you away was the safest option.”

Joel took a moment to gather his thoughts before pushing himself off the door and made his way closer to you, ending up standing between your legs with his hands on either side of you, “look, I’m saying this and I mean it. I understand where you’re coming from with the fear of distractions thing, but I want you to know that I would never intentionally keep you from your goals and dreams. I’m just extra support, you know.”

“Yeah, I realized that after you ran from the lake house. We could have had this figured out by now, if you had stayed,” you said, sarcastically. Rolling your eyes for added dramatic effect. 

“Oh, shut up. You have no place to talk, babe,” he said, smiling when he heard you giggle, “what was that for?”

“I kinda missed you calling me babe, I guess. Kinda crazy, dude.”

“Awe, so you did miss me?”

“I never said I didn’t,” you said, quietly reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. You saw the way that his eyes went from your eyes to your lips, “I also missed this,” and with that you pulled him closer until your lips met in a long awaited kiss. 

As the two of you broke away, your foreheads were still together, “hey, Bee?”

“Yeah?”

“You know who else I missed? Your mom,” you laughed. 

“Way to ruin the moment, babe,” he smiled, “That was funny though, so I respect it.”

“Dude, I’m so funny sometimes.”

“Looks aren’t everything, babe,” he said, laughing at the gasp you responded with. 

“Oh, that was rude. I’ll get you back one day though,” you watched as he went to leave the bathroom, “hey, Bee. I’m not supposed to walk without crutches, hate to break it to you.”

Rolling his eyes, he made his way back to you, turning around right in front of you, “here.” You leaned a little bit forward, wrapping your arms around his neck once again as he readjusted his grip on the back of your legs, so he could give you a piggyback ride on the way back outside. 

“You know, they didn’t tell me there was a party,” you spoke as he made his way back towards the door. 

“Oh, they said it was teammates only and then I saw your car,” he replied, pausing a moment as the two of you realized what had happened at the same time, “so, this was-”

“Yep.” 

“And Hartsy saying he was going to ask you out was part of it?”

“Hartsy said he was going to do that,” you started cackling. “Wait, were you jealous of him?” you asked laughing even harder. 

“It’s not funny.”

“Oh, yeah. I know, it’s hilarious.” 

“I will drop you right now,” he said, as he opened the door for outside, “and you’ll stuck right here, Ms. ‘I can’t walk down stairs right now’.”

“That’s a low blow,” you said, as the two of you made your way back to the table you were at. 

“Oops, sorry, babe,” he set you down close to your chair, but sat down before you could.

“Oh, so now you steal my chair, too?”

“Oh, shut up, you’re fine,” he said, pulling you to sit in his lap, “there you go.”

“So, I see the two of you made up?” Nolan asked, pointing at the two of you. 

“We also made out, in case you were wondering,” Joel replied, earning an elbow to the stomach, “ow, that hurt.”

“Sucks to suck, babe,” you replied, causing the smile on his face to grow even more. 

When Kevin and Ryanne watched the two of you walk back outside, they were happy to see that the plan worked. Ryanne simply laughed and shook her head as she heard the exchange between the two of you, “they are so in love and I don’t even think they realize it.”

“Ryanne, that is a big word, that I’m not prepared for. So, please, let’s not do that today,” Kevin replied, earning a laugh from Ryanne, “they’re happy though, that’s all that matters to me.”

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Hii! May i ask for hdcs with Momo being an omega, she has a crush on reader who's an alpha and a really good friend of hers but reader is known to be the only alpha who seems not interested in courting in général and they reject people's advance moste of the time. Momo is scared to confess because of that but little did she know that reader is rejecting everyone because of their crush on her. Thank you ! Have a nice day!

• There are two Alphas in Class A that are viewed as stronger than the rest- that would be you and Katsuki Bakugou

• This had resulted in a few fight between you and Katsuki

• But it also resulted in MANY confessions

• by second year both lockers would be full of notes

• You and Katsuki would share a look before dumping them

• by third year, you were getting confessions in person

• and each time you'd politely decline but you'd get to the point.

• This earned you quite the reputation in UA

• You weren't Interested in romance or courting

• You were always so heartless- just 'no thank you, I'm not interested '

• and you wouldn't even look at the letters, just give them back.

• you were already intimidating

• that's what drew people to you,

• tough and attractive prime Alpha?

• thats that good shit.

• You're friends knew better though

• You were a big softie

• a fuckin goof

• You struggled with your grades, you made dumb dad jokes, you made yourself laugh daily- and you were kind

• you always went out of your way to make sure people were okay

• and momo loved that about you

• she loved everything about you

• your eyes, your hair, the way you spoke, how you took care of situations

• But it also hurt her

• Because she was so head over heels for you but it was clear you had no interest in romance

• it was hard pretending you weren't in love with your best friend, momo knew that. The little glances she gave you while you were studying

• small looks in class

• her heart almost failing when you got hurt during an internship

• wanting to cry when she saw you go down during training

• she wouldnt be surprised if other people already knew (of course they did. Tokoyami and Mina caught on first)

• But Bakugou and Kirishima knew of your crush on momo

• and they wholeheartedly encouraged you to go for it

- "it's worth a shot!! If she doesnt like you back that's her loss, you're awesome"

- "Just fucking do it. I'm tired of watching you look at her like that."

• so you spend genuine weeks trying to plan and make a courting gift for the omega

• you settled on a small bracelet (among other things) A classic and safe choice

• With different bead types- stones with a meaning

• she only deserved the best after all

• you showed it to your omega cousin- she said it was beautiful

• you showed it to Mic- who said that it was a cute little thing

• and then to Katsuki and Bakugou

• but each time you looked at it, it just didnt seem like enough

• and to their dismay, you scraped it.

• they were like???

• and you were 🤷🏼‍♀️ wasn't fit enough

• so you go to the craft store and you buy gold chain and chain connects

• and you buy some beads- ones that look like planets

• And you made another bracelet, one that you were actually happy with

• it was gold, she wore a lot of gold and it would go with a majority of her outfits- and you chose planets because you talked about planets with her all the time.

• you skipped showing anyone this time- keen on just delivering it and confessing

• "Hey momo? Can I talk to you after class today?"

"Yes, of course? Are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine," you smile. "Just wanna talk."

• Cue not being able to focus during class at ALL

• Doodling in your notebook to pass time

• Very aware of Bakugou and Kirishima just staring at you by they know damn well what you're planning

• And they also know Damm well that you're not paying attention

• and so class ends

• and you're taking her hand and dragging her off

• you're friends are ???

• her friends are ???

• And youre standing awkwardly in front of her when the two of you come to a stop

• You don't wait or beat around the bush

• you kinda just blurt that you like her and you want to court her

• you take the bracelet out of your pocket and hold it up

• and she's dead quiet

• and you're like oh shut i fucked up

• but then she's like ??? Wait you're serious?

• and youre like??? Ya? Bro I've been crushing on you for like a year??

• and she's like yes yes I'll accept the court 🥺🥺

• N she tells you that she's liked you too but she was scared bc you never really did show interest in romance

• "Ah," you smile gently, "I was just waiting for you." Clipping the bracelets around her wrist.

• and she goes DARK red

• "M-Me? You were waiting for me?"

"Yesh, of course. You're amazing."

• It's too sweet. It's tooth rottingly sweet.

• Power couple shit right here.

[coldpeachsoju]

M-may I request something? 👉👈 something like prosciutto helping a poor lost tourist and being a gentleman and showing her around Naples 😳 (or alternatively, new dad prosciutto looking after his new born while his partner recovers)kfkfkerk (இ﹏இ`｡)

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG SKJHF I KINDA WENT CRAZY STUPID W THIS BC PROSCIUTTO 😳!! 

both prompts are good and tbh that alternative might be a part two to this 🙈

hope you enjoy !

-

Prosciutto helping lost tourist Reader

-

Prosciutto was bored.

His cold eyes glazed over the scenery before him as he rested against the adobe wall of a local cafe, previously having a coffee inside not too long ago. He studied the array of shops and buildings that lined the streets, kids running down the sidewalk playing tag, hearing their laughter and shouts. The florist across the street was conversing with one of the women that lived in the building next to his shop-Prosciutto couldn’t make it out what they were saying exactly so he played out a conversation in his head where the poor man was trying to sucker her into buying something through some two-faced lie. It wasn’t too warm today, not too cold either- it was the perfect weather to go out today.

The hitman wasn’t having any of it though. No new missions, no errands, he hated it. He had forgotten the monotony of a simple life, he wondered how it was that people managed to do this, to just go with everything that came and live without a care.

A smirk crept on his lips as he spotted someone across the street squinting down at a map, watching them look up here and there at the street signs before groaning in frustration. Classic tourist, Prosciutto thought before turning the gears in his head. A light went off in his head, maybe this would be a fun little routine breaker.

He puts his cigarette out beneath polished shoes before stuffing his hands in his pockets and making his way over.

Across the street, you were completely lost as to what direction you were supposed to be going. You had a destination, but the streets were a lot more confusing than what you were used to, even after spending a few days in Italy at this point. You looked around for a moment to ask for help, paying no mind to the figure making his way towards you before you sigh in defeat and lift up the map to look over again.

“Ti sei persa?” A smooth voice breaks you out of your jumbled plight, causing you to snap your head up towards whoever it was. As soon as you meet this man’s cool blue stare, your breath hitched in the back of your throat. Not a single blonde strand of hair was out of place and he fit in that patterned suit quite nicely. You had seen plenty of attractive men on your trip so far but he had stolen first place with just one glance.

Prosciutto wasn’t expecting his heart to skip a beat when you lock eyes, his first thought being ‘cute’ when he gets a good look at your face. Your curious, lost stare with furrowed brows and lips parted in confusion was absolutely adorable to him. He regains his train of thought and clears his throat, breaking the silence between the two of you, “Sorry.” He chuckled before repeating himself in English this time, voice coated in an accent that wasn’t too heavy, “Are you lost?”

You took a second to find your words, unable to process that this very attractive stranger was offering you a helping hand. It felt too much like the beginning of some cheesy romance movie. “Oh-uh, yeah.” you managed to cough out, directing his attention to the map in your hands. “Can you help me find this restaurant? One of the staff at the hotel recommended it to me.”

His eyes glaze over the area circled in pen on your map before he shakes his head and  tuts lightly. “I know a better place. That one isn’t bad, but they like to trick pretty little tourists like you. Come, I’ll get you a good deal.” He shot a wink towards you, knowing damn well that he’s got you in the palm of his hand. “Call me Prosciutto, what’s your name?”

He offered you his arm to take, which you gladly accepted, linking your arm with his and telling him your name before whisking you off on an impromptu tour. The alarms were going off, hollering in your mind that this man could very well be dangerous, but he had managed to sweep you off your feet within a minute and his handsome looks made you swoon. The way he had smooth talked you into going with him, his nicely pressed suit that you didn’t doubt being a designer brand, his exposed chest-you were instantly hooked.

The blonde knew Naples like the back of his hand, impressing you greatly and you internally thank fate for handing you such an attractive tour guide for free. He weaved through the streets with you in tow, guiding you away from any tourist traps you were sure you would’ve fallen for. You’re enamored with all the information he’s giving you along with all the sights around you, admiring the colorful architecture and the rich history of the city.

Once the two of you arrive, you’re instantly seated at a table and it appears the staff holds Prosciutto in high regards. They’re most attentive to the two of you, greeting you with a warm welcome when they see him by your side, and offer their best wines and put in a special order to the chef. The restaurant isn’t too flashy or grandiose, it has a homely and warm feeling to it, and you understand why Prosciutto had taken you here. Families are enjoying a meal together, laughing and catching up with friends and neighbors they happen to run into here.

While waiting for the food, Prosciutto takes a moment to ask some questions about you and in return, reveals the bare minimum about himself-at least, to your knowledge. His interest grows the more you talk about yourself, and knows that this has gone a lot farther than he expected. He isn’t complaining though, as he asks about where you’re from.

Prosciutto adores the excitement that went ablaze in your eyes as the two of you engaged in  a conversation about your countries. The way you gush about your hometown has him say, “Maybe you can show me around in the future.” The idea of taking Prosciutto around your home turf has you going red in the face and taken aback for a moment.

“I’d love to!” you declare a little too eagerly, finally forming a response. He leans back, amused as the food arrives and the two of you enjoy a meal together. Prosciutto pays for the whole lunch afterwards, catching you off-guard slightly even after you insisted to pay at least half of the bill.

“All apart of the tour package,” He quips, “my services aren’t free.” He holds back a laugh at the aghast expression that takes over your features, “I’m joking. I’ll walk you to your hotel.” There’s more to that offer, you can tell by the more flirtatious tone his voice takes as the flustered heat in your face rises for the hundredth time again and you regain your composure.

You link your arms with his once more, both of you becoming fond of the company of each other.

Prosciutto brings you to your hotel, as he promised, getting your hopes up further as he offers to take it a step further and walk you to your room. “Just making sure that you’ll be safe. Naples can be dangerous if you’re not careful.” he elaborates, your thoughts grow wilder by the second.

The silence on the way to your room is almost killing you, unsure if he’s been teasing you or not. You really hope he’s implying something by bringing you back, especially after the time spent with him today, but you know it’s not likely he’d act on anything. The way he looked so gentleman-like too wasn’t helping. When you get to the room, you turn to him with a flushed face after unlocking the door, “Would you like to come in?”

You’re a little let down when he politely declines your offer, “I’d love to, but I have a meeting soon.” You curse yourself for getting your hopes up so quick. You quickly perk back up when he speaks up again. “Will you be around here for long?”

“It’s my last week in Italy.” You admitted, heart dropping when you saw a hint of disappointment flash across his features. Your eyes darted around the inside of the room for a pad of paper and a pen. “Hold on.” You spot them laying atop the bedside drawer and rush to write a few things before tearing off a piece of paper. You hurry back to the doorway and hold the torn parchment out to him. “Here, take this.”

Scrawled in your handwriting was your email and phone number to your hotel room.

“I really want to see you again if that’s okay.” You admit, wanting to know him a little more before you had to leave, watching him stare down at your writing.

“It’s fine with me, I was hoping to show you the frescoes at the cathedral.” he replies, looking back at your hopeful expression. “See you soon.” He turns on his heel and leaves the hotel as you sit in anticipation for your next encounter together.

The blonde man looked at the scrap of paper in his hand fondly before looking up at the blue sky, watching the clouds go overhead, and making plans in his head to make it a trip the both of you would remember.

[redbeanboi]

Hii. New anon here. I love your hcs!!!! Its so good and im wondering if your requests are open if yes. May i request for a mista x reader hcs where she wears a mask bc shes insecure about her face and doesnt like to take it off just like how mista doesn't like to take off his hat? Can u do something like the gang finding a way on how to take off her mask and his hat? If not you can totally ignore this ask. Thank youuuuu

hi anon! Thank you for the support :) I am actually not a hc blog; just accepting them for the fun of it. ((I can’t remember when, but I reblogged a post asking for hc requests and that’s when I started “unofficially” doing them.)) That being said, I’ll gladly fulfill your request. Thank you for asking first though! I appreciate that. Will keep this a bit on the shorter side since I have a habit of making stuff wayyy wayy too long (looking at you 3.0k mista mini-series)... xx

Mista and F!Reader who wears a mask. 

Here’s mysterious Y/n and Mista:

Mista never takes off his hat

Everyone’s been mostly okay with it, mostly because they assume it’s either always greasy or just very messy looking (fair enough, hat hair, right?)

but! once you’re assigned to Bucciarati’s team, everything changes. 

Fugo’s made a game out of guessing what’s under your mask and what’s under Mista’s hat

Narancia is curious but he doesn’t really say much other than “don’t you guys get tired of wearing the same thing all the time?”

Giorno hasn’t put much of a dress code in place and frankly doesn’t see the point in forcing either one of you to indulge in their curiosities

Bucciarati is curious but, like Giorno, isn’t interested in making you or Mista uncomfortable. Think: ‘If you’re wearing those things all the time in public, it’s probably for a personal reason’

Abbacchio claims he “isn’t very curious” and tells everyone to cut it out, but he does stare at you and Mista now and then.

Mista, on the other hand is very curious about your face. He hasn’t seen much of it, but he has seen your eyes and he thinks they’re very pretty. 

You’ve overheard him gushing about it to the others one time

“C’mon, it’s such a waste to hide all that away! Aren’t you guys curious too?”

And he only drops it when everyone else points out that ‘you cover up your hair all the time, doofus’

And as MUCH as he’d like to see the rest of your face, he’s not about to force you to take the mask off

really you’re only insecure. 

just a tiny bit

and who isn’t?

and while you’ve considered maybe taking it off once in a while around these guys

you’re terrified of letting mista see the rest of your face

what if he thinks you’re ugly 

wait

why do you care

not like you like him or anything right? haha

either way

you wouldn’t be the first person to wear a mask for those reasons

and it’s not like anyone needs to know what you look like anyway

as long as you do your job well, it shouldn’t matter whether or not you wear a mask or look cute

and it doesn’t matter if a certain team member thinks you’re attractive because--

right

ahem

anyway, mista’s got his hat, and you’ve got your mask

So the others (Abbacchio, Narancia and Fugo) decide to find a way to get your mask and Mista’s hat off

Giorno and Bucciarati want absolutely no part in any of this, but don’t think they’ll actually try to stop any of them

most of it includes very very stupid things

Like sabotaging the laundry 

which is not very effective when they realize you have dozens of that same mask in your stash

And Mista’s hat just almost never comes off

one time fugo tried to offer you something to drink, thinking you’d take the mask off

except you just sneak the straw underneath your mask and hand back his drink and respond with “that was pretty good! thanks”

and then they went back to the drawing board and asked Trish to take you to a spa

unfortunately you refused to take off your mask there

Abbacchio once slyly asked if you were into makeup and offered to give you some lipstick samples he received in the mail

but you politely decline and say “I don’t usually wear lipstick with the mask on, but thanks”

and dammit he thought he was so close

One time they tried to stain your mask with some pasta sauce (after a failed attempt to feed you some of their food again) 

and in that same afternoon they tried to dunk Mista’s head into some gross and questionable looking fountain

but then you panicked and used your stand on them 

they got a couple of bruises and mista happened to hit his head on something as he tripped and fell

Mista just got very angry at them (and makes sure to reassure you and tell you that none of this is your fault whatsoever)

And now three of Bucciarati’s team members are getting treatment from Giorno because of the injuries you gave them

And then Giorno decides to do something a little underhanded

because really, enough is enough and he’s sure that you’d both rather face a little discomfort for a brief passage of time than deal with this for the rest of your lives

“Mista, you must have hit your head on something earlier. Let me take a look at it”

And before you can blink you rush over to him

“oh that’s right. Mista, are you okay?”

“yeah i think--”

and just when you get to him and Giorno

Mista’s hat just

magically turns into a frog

and your mask just turns into a rabbit and jumps onto the floor

and bucciarati just asks the others “are you all happy now?”

Narancia’s just pointing at your face and his mouth is wide open

Fugo is kind of surprised, brow is quirked up and everything

abbacchio just shrugs because, yeah.. he’s satisfied now

“good”

bucciarati is just telling the others to quit it and leave you guys alone

and to your surprise, Mista hasn’t really said much of anything

you were expecting him to just scramble for his hat again, but instead he’s staring right at you

He’s also making an expression that you can’t exactly read

does he like it?

or maybe he thinks you’re ugly

why

does he think you’re ugly or--

Mista suddenly tears his eyes off of you and smirks at the others over his shoulder

 “would you look at that fellas--I was right after all!”

oh god

he thought you might have been cute but he’s seen your face and now he HAS proof that you’re not as cute as he initially thought

that’s why he’s smiling and blushing right?

or

well, if you’re so ugly, 

why is he smiling like a goofball?

part of you wants to scream because he just keeps looking and smiling and you’re not so sure if you can take any laughs from mista

you’re convinced he’s gearing up to make fun of you

why else would he be smiling like that

but Narancia immediately follows up with

“well I never said you were wrong”

whats that mean

“stop staring and being creeps, guys, she obviously doesn’t feel comfortable with all the attention”

and mista’s mostly right

but when you see mista’s hair

you are ready to just ignore the rest of them because his hair

it’s so

perfect?

It’s short enough to be completely covered by the hat, but !! it’s glossy and dark and kinda wavy

and it’s so cute and you just

pat his head

pat pat pat in silence

its so soft and pretty

and it smells kinda spicy

like cloves and cinnamon or something

nice warm scent

and just as you’re patting away, Mista just grabs your wrist and pulls you in a little closer and says 

“I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this before, but you’re really cute”

A/N Thanks for being patient and for sending this in! I’m planning on writing a few things for Mista sooner or later, so please keep an eye out on my ao3 for those.

xx

[tenyada]

Hi! I wanted to request a scenario (or head-canons, you can choose!) with Iida where their S/O and him just cuddle after a long hard day (Bc ohmygod who doesn’t want to cuddle with him?) (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Thanks! 💙

Tenya Hug™

Word Count : 1154

Iida Tenya 飯田天哉 x Reader : 2nd Perspective : They/Them

this made me really happy to write, tenya solidarity, please. sksksk i hope you enjoy, anon!

Work was so long. So, so, so long. So long in fact, that you found yourself dragging your feet from the front porch to your mudroom. First it was the new intern who didn’t have a brain cell within her tiny head to even notice where she was walking, promptly running you over and dumping scorching coffee and tea upon the front of your suit. Luckily, a coworker with a liquid quirk had saved your clothes for the most part, but you weren’t convinced that the chai tea would want to leave it’s new home made in the threads of your white blouse. Next it was the Caption of the Police, coming to complain to you that the investigation you were leading wasn’t sufficient enough. You could only point out that the resources (that the Captain had equipped you with) wasn’t enough to give him the results that he wanted. You were labeled ungrateful, though you were about to drop a potted plant on the mans head to see just who was grateful. Then, to close out your day, you had to chase down a suspect that had slipped away from the officers who detained him. This ended with your lobbing a shoe at the back of the suspects head and in some stroke of luck, managed to knock him out cold before you dragged him back to the frantic officers. You considered using them as a foothold against the Captain to gain more information in order to help your case, but you decided against it.

Just what would your husband think of this immoral way to gain the upper hand?

It was late for you to be home, two hours late to be precise, so no wonder your forever loving husband immediately appeared from around the corner. His patrol got done earlier and he made it a point to be home at 17:30, so you were happy to find your husband without any cuts or bruises upon his recently cleaned visage. Some of the stress of your day wore off of your shoulders at the mere sight of Iida Tenya in a loose fitting shirt and sweatpants. He smiled at you and removed his hands from sweatpants pockets to open his arms, a silent welcome for a hug that was specialized just for you.

But you politely declined, “Sorry, babe, but I’m all sweaty and grimy. It’s not worth another shower until I’m done with my own,”

Tenya, in his undying and ever growing love towards you, could immediately pick up on your very apparent distress. He frowned ever so slightly and still moved in enough to engulf you in a tight, comforting ‘Tenya Hug’™. They never failed to make you feel better, even if it was the tiniest bit, they still helped. “I made some beef stew, would you like me to make you a bowl and put the blankets in the dryer for a warm bed when you get out of the shower?”

“You’re too good to me, Tenya,” you smile into his peck and pulled away from such a nice hug. “I hope that you’ll join me for some cuddles?”

“O-Of.. of course, I will,” Tenya, throughout your two years of marriage and countless of dating, still became nervous upon the most childish yet cutest of things. He almost burst up into flames at your wedding, the moment he saw you, the man nearly busted a nose bleed out onto the front of his suit. He had to ask the officiant to pause in the vows when you leaned in close to say in a hushed whisper just how much you loved him. Sometimes even referencing just how you two slept in the same bed was enough to make his ears tinge a pretty pink, just like they did now.

“Thank you, Tenya,” you placed a warm kiss upon his cheek, happy when he returned the notion with one upon your forehead before brushing past to go and shower in the bathroom off of your shared bedroom.

You took your time, but remained mindful of the time to avoid another one of Tenya’s earth conscious lectures about not wasting water and how you should always only use the amount that you need and not the amount you want. Sometimes what you needed and what you wanted didn’t align, and that definitely occurred during any shower that you decided to take part of. Tenya just didn’t understand. You wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel and exited the bathroom just in time to see Tenya laying out freshly warmed blankets upon your bed. You smiled gently again and on your way to the closet, you kissed on of his clothed shoulder blades as a silent thanks.

It was a cozy night, you decided, slipping into one of Tenya’s shirts and a pair of basketball shorts before you almost vaulted yourself into the bed, next to where Tenya was leaning back against the headboard with an arm behind his neck while he searched for your favorite show. You almost didn’t believe that you needed the blankets heated up in the way that they were, as Tenya was already a living furnace, but you weren’t about to refuse blankets that felt as nice and as relaxing as these did. You gave a side glance to the stew sitting on your nightstand and instead made it very important to get comfortable against Tenya’s body.

He accommodated for you, happily turning onto his side to pull you in closer so you could rest your cheek against his chest. You were wrapped upon in yet another Tenya Hug™, otherwise known as the most comforting thing known to man. He grumbled each time you shifted, mumbling something about how it was time to just relax and eventually you had to give into the large hand splayed across your back, rubbing soothing shapes into your skin. You settled with a lazy leg thrown over Tenya’s hip and your head tucked underneath his chin, did you even think of the beef stew, but you were too comfortable. It would have to wait.

Tenya seemed to get the gist (and he honestly didn’t mind you not making a move for the food since he too, was quite comfortable) and finally settled down. The blankets were tucked to your chin, your favorite show played in the background, and your husband’s warm body was pressed against yours.

“You’re so cozy, Tenya,” you eventually yawned out, the stew was eventually eaten as a joint effort and your show had ended long ago, the comfort was beginning to exchange itself and morph into sleepiness- which you were sure Tenya was getting to as well.

“I try… thank you,” he grumbled against your hair and lazily turned off the TV. His deep, gravely baritone was enough to lull you off into a peace and uneventful rest. Hopefully for a better day and a better intern.

[ofgrveyards]

Hey angels, I’m Faye, and I’m extremely excited to be apart of this group with you all! I’m 22, I use she/her pronouns, and I’m in the EST timezone. This intro is....a whole ass mess and it’s too long, but I’m throwing it @ you anyways! My discord’s fuck ya chicken strips !#2658 if anyone would prefer to plot there! 

─ *✧ [ DANIELLE CAMPBELL. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ] little hollow welcomes you, JOSEPHINE HAMILTON. an/a TWENTY-FOUR ( 500 ) year old known for being a PARAMEDIC, have you settled in yet ? i’m sure as a VAMPIRE you’ll have no problem fitting in but your COMPASSIONATE + RECKLESS personality might have something different to say. residents have described you as candles burning in the dark, daydreaming about a different life, & open windows at night, i wonder what that means ? [ faye. 22. est. she/her. ]

PAST,

Born in 1519 to a seamstress and a blacksmith, Josephine Hamilton’s early life was spent indoors, shielded from the death and decay that played such a prominent role in London’s history.

Her mother, Agatha, was taken by the plague when she was just 10 years old, leaving her with just her father and younger brother.

The next fourteen years of her life were spent fighting tooth and nail to build a better life for herself and her aforementioned brother. Their father, Joseph, spent more time drinking than providing for his two children, and as a result, became quite belligerent and abusive. 

This was, in part, because of his children’s magical abilities passed down from their mother’s side, to which he refused to attempt to understand and instead forced them to suppress.

Just before Jo’s twenty-fourth birthday, the stress of containing her powers combined with her fear of her father becomes too much and she blows, quite literally. The windows in their flat explode and the entire block is lit aflame shortly thereafter, leaving nothing but ashes in her wake.

After deciding to leave their father to fend for himself in the burning building, she grabs her brother, any belongings they can easily carry, and sets off into the night.

With no surviving relatives in the immediate area and little to no money to their name, they begin their commute to France to visit their mother’s great aunt.

While waiting to catch a boat in Folkstone, Josephine has another episode, resulting in flooding in the town surrounding the docks. This is where she meets the vampire who turns her, who takes pity on the woman’s declining mental stability and lack of bodily control.

That very same vampire, who takes herself and her brother into their home, helps her acclimate to life as a vampire for a few years. This time is spent learning how to feed, control her urges, present as a human in public, and how to compel. 

The final of the four is not something she often used, as she found it to be manipulative to the point of losing what was left of her humanity. She also refused to force feed, and other than her first year, has only ever fed on consenting parties or through other means.

Her brother is turned by them a few years after her, as she refused to be the one to do it to her own flesh and blood. Once he was acclimated to life as a vampire, they set off on their own and travel around London aimlessly.

In her spare time, Jo studied everything she could get her hands on to become a doctor. But as it was a profession society deemed unfit for women at the time, she had to wait.

She went from hospital to hospital working as an aid to patients, biding her time. Eventually, in 1862, when learning about a school in Boston for Women to be professionally trained in the medical field as a physician, she drops everything to head to the states. 

The siblings live there from 1863-1874, during which she also attends a school for nursing. Not long after, they return to England, where she works as a nurse until 1892 when women are officially allowed to practice medicine. 

With the help of her brother and another doctor at the hospital she’d been living at, she opens up her own clinic in a more rural part of England. This is where she stays until the mid 1900′s, when she and her brother part ways. 

Josephine then moves to the states in attempt to continue her practice without raising any red flags. She starts out in Boston where she received her training, then moves on from there, going state to state every few years.

PRESENT,

It was six years ago to date when Jo moved to Little Hollow, originally intending to open her own practice like she has in so many other cities, but she decides to postpone it when she realizes just how significant the supernatural population is in the town.

Due to the considerable fortune earned through the many facilities she’s built over the years that are still in her name, she buys herself a nice house in town with a white-picket fence and a dog. The life she lives behind closed doors may be unspeakable to most, but she does her best to be relatively normal in spite of it.

Continuing working even though she doesn’t need to is a decision that’s made due to her innate desire to continue helping people to the best of her ability. `

Becoming a Paramedic felt like the best option for her, considering she never spends very long with any of the patients, so not only are they unable to get fully acquainted with her, there’s always a change of pace.

Being so settled has become a foreign feeling, though she’s grown to thoroughly enjoy having a home, feeling like she belongs.

She’s fairly active in things around town, known to donate to charities and help the homeless. She also dips into the hospital blood supply on occasion for vampires looking to stray from feeding directly from the source.

When it comes to inter-species politics, she tries to stay out of trouble with the other supernatural people in Little Hallow, instead opting to attempt to keep the peace.

Of course, this doesn’t always go over well, considering she’s got such a big heart and wants to keep everyone happy.

PERSONALITY,

Kind, gentle, soft, dedicated, passionate, thoughtful, stubborn. She’s also enthusiastic, eager to please, and wildly ambitious; both at school/work and in her personal life.

She’s a certified Mom Friend™ and proud of it.

Would literally go to any length necessary if it means keeping those she cares about safe.

Josephine’s got to be one of the most attentive people when it comes to her friendships and loved ones. She is always taking time to spend time with them no matter how busy she may be, will stop whatever she’s doing if they are in need, and gives the best gifts. Her philosophy is that if she’s got to spend her money somewhere, it may as well be on others.

She tends to see the best in people, even those who don’t deserve a moment of her time.

Honestly??? She’s the softest vampire ever, probably much too soft to have survived as long as she has.

Is very, very protective of the less fortunate, be that financially, physically, or in minorities. She doesn’t believe in violence as the answer, but hates any prejudices people may have even more. If she sees anyone being mistreated, she definitely steps in ready for a fight.

MISC,

MBTI:

ALIGNMENT:

CHARACTER TROPES: The Idealist, Nice Girl, Running Gag, Workaholic, there are more but I’ll never get off the trope site if I keep going.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES: Leslie Knope, Kimmy Schmidt, Peggy Carter, April Kepner, Phoebe Buffay.

WANTED CONNECTIONS,

Friends, friends, all the friends.

Frienemies/ex-friends ( this is so hard for her bc she tries to see the best in people, but if they’re a hateful person, she’s not against writing them off ).

A best friend would be super cool, lord knows my girl needs someone to confide in and to turn to when things get rough.

The vampire who turns her and her brother is definitely a wc!

An old friend she’s known for centuries, someone who has seen her grow through the ages.

A neighbor, or maybe a roommate she’s asked to live with her, because the house she bought is so big and she gets lonely lmao

ex fwb maybe???

Enemy turned friend!

Yeah, idk, these are all super random and probably lowkey shitty, but I’m down for anything !!!

[solemncadaver]

Friendsim Trolls According to my Girlfriend who hasn’t played Friendsim

Ardata (Cobalt): w... who took bites out of her horns? Can and will kill you in your sleep. Plotting evil plans 23/7 (the 24th hour is for drinking coffee with LOTS of milk and sugar)

Diemen (Rust): Always eating food (why is that hot dog bun GREEN-), will never call you by your name, only nicknames like bro, dude, man etc, probably owns a skateboard but can't drive it

Cirava (Gold): Oo funky! Has a horrible backstory and doesn't talk about it EVER, is chill all the time, likes 70s-80s fashion and actually wears it with style! Is as extra as the fact they've got 4 horns

Amisia (Indigo): definitely an artist! The "weird kid", has not slept in 5 days because she just HAD to finish that one painting, cuts her own hair with scissors not meant for cutting hair yet it looks amazingly good! Probably either super pure and nice or will kill you if you breathe in her direction

Bronya (Jade): The cool big sister, helps you do your makeup and dye your hair, if you hurt one of her friends those boots will land in your face, probably has a tumblr with aesthetic images

Skylla (Bronze): Yeehaw howdy pardner! Isn't only from a ranch, she OWNS one! Can and will punch you for no reason, makes you do her chores if you wanna stay at her place, has never seen a hairbrush in her life

Tagora (Teal): Tries his best to be edgy and frightening, sometimes almost fails at that, could be in one of those "barber: say no more fam" memes, thinks he's an evil overlord but is actually just a delinquent, probably doesn't get a redemption arc and only like 2 people are mad about that

Vikare (Bronze): Wants to be a pilot/is a pilot but DON'T TRUST THEM WITH AN AIRPLANE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, pretends wearing that pilot hat is a fashion choice when in reality they can't take it off again with those horns, nobody has ever seen them sleep and people are concerned

Polypa (Olive): The most feral being (or she fell down the stairs and is mad about it), problems balancing with only one eye able to see, could claw out your heart and not bat an eye, the hole in her horn is from when someone tried to take her out, nobody has ever seen that person afterwards

Zebruh (Indigo): Looks like an ASSHOLE. What are his horns doing they're not pointed that's not how horns should work, very smug! Has a shitty job and is pretentious about it to people w/o a job, looks like the cryptic bartender in a stereotypical drama thriller that the detective has to interview to know who killed the rich guy's wife

Elwurd (Cobalt): Look at those extra af horns! Def owns a motorcycle, flirty but has never received actual affection, has a mental breakdown every 2 days but pretends EVERYTHING'S FINE, makes 5 puns a minute

Folykl & Kuprum (Gold): What a goal: Carry your bud around in your giant ass backpack! I......don't know who is who tbh but! They both have cool spider looking horns! The best evidence for 'opposites attract', the only friends they have are each other, secretly planning to overthrow the government

Remele (Cobalt): The x on her left eye symbolizes that she has found her next victim. It's you. Run. Could probably use her horn as a climbing hook, v passive aggressive, makes her own clothes, works out a lot and is stronger than she looks

Konyyl (Olive): My fight, flight or flirt instincts have been activated. Could snap you in half by looking at you yet can be super soft if she wants to (you gotta be REAL close to her though), likes matcha ice cream and yells at it when it melts, is NOT tidy

Chixie (Bronze): Shy babey. Will probably be interrupted 3 times when trying to speak because she's just so quiet, has been left on her own and now has no idea how to survive yet is too shy to ask for the way. Someone come help her please.

Tyzias (Teal): Bored college student. Will NOT help you in an emergency so don't even ask. Secretly likes cryptids, is Done (tm), nobody has ever seen her outside of campus, roasts people in the most monotone voice ever

Chahut (Purple): F-... fear ':)? Eh, that's probably just paint! Right? Right???... Is probably being forced to do horrible things, can't remember their childhood, looks scary but only unintentionally, I'd still smooch tbh

Azdaja (Gold): Reminds me of that ching prince from FMA:B tbh, has a weird aesthetic going on, has the upper hand everywhere without trying, probably has 3 fake names, is always cool but can slip up and make goofy remarks

Zebede (Gold): Smol round boi! Probably played soccer in 5th grade, now makes v interesting and functional machines from Lego, probably owned a pet hamster at some point, has no sense of danger

Tegiri (Teal): Is that a KATANA-.... Still not out of his weeb phase, is VERY devoted to his aesthetic, talks either in one word sentences or dramatic quotes from a show nobody has seen, shop owner who sells you weapons

Mallek (Cobalt): Oh look it your hubby! He looks like a trickster tbh yet all the fanart looks sweet and pure!? (Also how do you pierce horns-) how many piercings has he though? Is there fanart- 👀... anyways he kinda looks like the popular kid and the emo kid combined, but like in a good way!?! Probably has a secret key for the whole town that he shouldn't have, can store everything in that hoodie pocket (it's like Hermione's bag :3!)

Lynera (Jade): Looks like the weird art/music teacher, v nice though! Has a lot of weird hobbies that her friends politely decline to join, likes to bake for everyone, likes children or absolutely loathes them

Galekh (Indigo): Is this Roman from Sanders Sides? Jdhdkd he looks like the strict angry teacher, will absolutely refuse giving help and does not allow any flaws (both in you and in himself) can spot someone doing illegal things from a mile away, is not afraid to call people out

Tirona (Teal): Look at that spider hair! Looks good 👉👉, is probs v shy and awkward but tries to talk to everyone anyways, has some exotic pets that she doesn't tell anyone about bc someone once said it's weird, just wants to be accepted, clumsy af

Boldir (Olive): Hiding ..... something ...., private but not stealthy investigator, is distracted way too easily, is the detective I mentioned back at Zebruh's, v loyal, will absolutely get you arrested if you're *in the way*

Stelsa (Teal): Looks like a cool but bitchy mom, probably gets a manicure every week, she looks just like my mom which is scary wth, will not hesitate to roast Karen at the school bake sale, those lemon bars are horrible KAREN, why didn't you let your third husband help K A R E N

Karako (Purple): What- ?

I-.... I'm confused! But okay!

Never makes sense, nobody has ever seen them eat or sleep, appears in your room at 2 am when you have sleep paralysis

Marsti (Rust): Probably is like the classic mechanic, can weld 👌👏👉👉👍, is done with everyone's bullshit but will still try to help (occasionally), drinks too many energy drinks and not enough water, everyone asks her for favors and she is having none of it

Charun (Olive): Peaceful gardener, don't stand in their sun and they won't bother whatever you do, just wants a little farm house near a small town with his pet cat, don't walk on their vegetables or they'll chase you with a rake

Wanshi (Jade): Just a nice person. A total sweetheart. Just wants to have fun, very optimistic, the most functional person you'll ever meet, drinks a lot of green tea and hot chocolate

Fozzer (Rust): Nice person but not very bright, doesn't know how electronics work, has a flip phone from like 2006 and that's enough for him, has a lot of houseplants but can't really keep them alive

Marvus (Purple): 👀👀👀 You know how I think about him (😭🍀😏😎🍀💖🌾❤ 11/10 best ti🅱🅱y window would allow him to stab me)

Daraya (Jade): Smol but will fight you. Is super done and will not help you, but also won't stop you. Probably has 2-4 knifes somewhere on her body at all time.

Nihkee (Indigo): Looks like a pirate captain + professional wrestler in one, like! Probably drinks their coffee black just so people respect them more, will show off every trophy they have (a lot) if someone decides to listen to them

Lanque (Jade): 👀👀👀👍 the most dramatic and salty being alive, v stylish, takes 2 hours a day just to get ready, probably has 16 meetings a day, could work as a model, will cut anyone and everyone that says he should change something about him

Soleil (Purple): Ah yes, the obligatory twins. Probably cursed by a spiteful witch at birth, have never been seen seperate, occasionally like to scare people by pretending to be the twins from shining

I’m crying

[disgrays-on]

Oohh I have a request! Maybe if you feel inspired how about a headcanon of how the batboys would be as fathers? Your pregnancy writing had me thinking about how they would act once the child was born etc. Btw I really enjoy your writing!! 💖

This request was sent forever ago and I finished it but just never got around to posting it probably bc I wasn’t too pleased with how this turned out. But I hope it’s fine?? Also thanks for reading and sending in the request! Dami is older here.

Dick would probably a good dad, to be honest. I mean he already has a lot of practice wrangling people (not just kids, either). He’s the kind of dad that goes to the park with a kid and gets home with a bunch of numbers of single moms in his pockets and playdates lined up for the kid. He politely declines the dates, of course, but they still end up on amicable terms somehow.

He’s not super strict as a dad but he has his rules. He would try to act tough whenever he has to scold his kid for something bad they did but this will easily melt away when the tears start. He’d console them with sweet treats which basically just defeats the purpose.

He mostly just enjoys being around you and his kid. A very tactile person so he likes hugs and holding hands with both you and his kid. He’d be totally smitten with this little family that he has. Your family totally makes the picture perfect family. He makes dad jokes sometimes. He’s that dad that all of the kid’s friends like, they’re always like “your dad is so nice!!” but the kid will be like “he’s actually pretty lame.”

He loves spending time with his family bc family time is really important to him. He likes spending time in the kitchen with his child, he may not be the best cook but he manages especially with his little helper around! All for you, they say, but most of the time you end up with questionably edible food and a messy kitchen. He sings his kid lullabies and the sight of your kid resting their sleepy little head on Dick’s shoulder as he sings is a sight that tugs at your heartstrings and fuels you on for days to come.

Despite all that the things people say about Jason, he’d probably make a very dependable and trustworthy father. He would definitely try to get his shit together with a kid around because he knows how it feels to be a kid, alone and terrified, and he doesn’t want that for his own. He’d be a very hands-on parent but not in a way that would be overbearing. He’s that dad who is seemingly strict but he’s a total softie for his kid. Probably backs off a bit when they’re older though.

He has probably used the kid as weights before, when they’re still a baby/toddler, like for resistance training or something. He insists that his kid should sleep in their own room but is quick and usually the first to say yes if the kid asks to sleep with both of you after their nightmares (whether it be real nightmares or made up ones).

When the kid is still young, he probably likes helping his kid getting ready for the day like with their hair and clothes. When they’re outside, he enjoys having the kid on his shoulders and with all that height, the kid loves it too! He also likes holding his kid’s tiny little hands, though he’d never admit it aloud. Reading stories together is something he does a lot with the kid, for bedtime or even just as a pastime. It’s something the both of them love doing together.  

When they’re a bit older, Jason will probably to teach his kid self-defence skills (because he’s still a bit paranoid). Jason probably teaches the kid a lot of things, useful skills that one would need to survive on their own. Wouldn’t overly spoil his kid because he believes in having to earn something they truly want. He’s super supportive in all the things that his kid wants to do, will go to whatever event/ceremony it is if it means he can show his support for his child.

Initially, Tim would probably find it a bit difficult to handle the emotional overload of being a new parent. Might blame himself when the kid cries and it would take him a while to get used to all of it but he would do his best. He’d try to think through all of this logically and rationally. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t. After all, not every child is the same.

His kid goes to like one of those proper schools for young children, the one that’s like expensive and prestigious but if his kid isn’t happy, he would have no trouble moving the kid to the next one. Probably on the school board, mostly because of who he is. He spends time with his kid when he can, sometimes you have to push him to do it though. He mumbles/talks to himself sometimes when he’s alone, goes over what he needs to do or outlines his plans, and this changes to him basically conversing with the little child as he takes care of them even if the baby can’t understand him yet.

Always looking for new ways to teach his kid. He loves watching the kid learn new things, that wide-eyed wonder as they’re discovering how big the ocean is for the first time or the awe whenever they talk about the different stars in space. But he also likes placing his little child on his lap, despite the high probability of tiny, grubby little fingers trying to clutch and cling to any sort of device he’s holding onto. He hands them a tablet or something to occupy the kid’s attention and then he gets to work, absentmindedly running his fingers through their hair, from time to time.

Brought his kid to work one day and everyone absolutely fawned over the kid because they’re small and shy and looks so much like him. You absolutely adore watching your kid tire himself out and then slowly crawl to Tim because the kid loves being in Tim’s arms and resting his head on his shoulder.

Damian probably wouldn’t know what to do with himself once he’s a father. There’s such a dichotomy between how he’s told a child should be raised and how he was raised, yknow? But still, with you around, it works out. He’d be the kind of dad who has this cool, aloof exterior but inside he’s melting and dying every time his child smiles and every time he hears his kid’s melodious laughter, especially when the child is still very tiny. All of the caution that he usually takes and wariness that he has of people and all that training just disappears, gone because of this one very small, very adorable human being.

And when the kid is older, he still wouldn’t know what to do with them like how do I give them the love and affection they need. Hugs seldom happen because his kind of tactile affection is more like patting his kid on top of their head or giving their shoulder a little squeeze. Most of the time, he says ‘I love you’ without actually saying ‘I love you’, usually it’s subtle and hidden behind seemingly harsh warnings. There’s a high chance that the kid will probably be spoiled, and it’s not just by you and him (looks to their grandfather and their uncles and aunts). Probably trains the kid how to fight. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he was protective over his kid.

He’d raise a very polite, well behaved and respectful kid. The child will grow up to be a very brilliant child, they’d receive the best education they can get and would definitely be raised to be multilingual. He has certain expectations for his kid and most of the time, they’re not completely impossible so the kid usually meets them without much difficulty. Supportive. Encourages his child to take up hobbies like music or arts. If they do arts, he would keep all of his child’s works close (but definitely not where someone can accidentally stumble upon them) where he can look at them from time to time.

[yuseirra]

Tbh all these years i thought of you as a very kind, lovable, anime mom who wore aprons, cooks very delicious foods and loves her children very much?? I always find you as someone whos very angelic, kind/nice and soft?? But apparently youre someone who is angelic, kind/nice, soft but also got some friggin backbones within u?? You know and could tell whens the right time to agree, be kind, and when to refuse, voicing out your thoughts, reasonably, and also politely?Like? Thats?? So cool?? ??

+(still the same anon fr before cuz im not done and tumblr hv this word limitation thingy) So like, i like you back then and as times goes on it changes into, i like you very very much?? But like, now?? at the moment?? Like, presently????? I think i have reached the whole lvl of admiring and respecting you, its the kouhai-genuinely-looking-up-to-their-senpai-and-rethinks-some-of-their-thoughts-and-choices-bcs-of-senpais-influence level, and also, likes you. Very much so. Have a nice day.

Goodness I’m reading the whole thing over (In fact, I just read it twice) and I’m not sure where to begin.. or on what to say because I’m blushing pretty hard/// ;v/// you’re flattering me,(in a good way, just to make sure!)// thank you. I’m not sure where all that big compliments are coming from!!// because I don’t feel like I’ve been doing a whole bunch on my end..!// BUT! I’m happy to hear all that and that you’ve felt that way, especially towards the way I speak. It’s very assuring to hear that I sound reasonable!! wow..wOW and.. everything about the second message makes me feel something that’s pretty hard to describe in words.. hopefully, I’ve been able to influence you in a positive way. I’m- I think it’s making me feel pretty happy..and I feel I should be more responsible too, about the way I talk to people or write stuff or on approaching them because now I know you’re watching me over for all these years.‘v’) 

I also want you to know that you very much deserve the same respect and love and like you’re giving me I’M SERIOUS I don’t feel like I’m// that worthy of admiration, we’re on the same ground anon!! You’re also very kind to tell me things like these and send me such a long and positive message, I find that very kind and cool of you to do. I respect you very much as well/// thank you so much, I’m happy to have you, and it’s nice to have an opportunity to write you back like this as well///

Declining is hard.. I was actually feeling a bit sorry towards the other anon earlier, so I’m still crossing my fingers hoping they didn’t feel too bad reading what I wrote. No hard feelings towards them, they asked me something, so I tried to reply them back the way I feel. That’s all there was to it, really! It’s good to know it came off as polite to you! It makes me feel so much better :)

You too anon, I hope you also have a nice day. Thank you for the message, I feel so good about myself?? after having read this?? it was amazing..! 

I’ll keep trying to be better..whether it be drawings or as a person (it’s a big goal, but yeah!) your message made me want to do that. I appreciate it so much! ‘v’)/ OOF AND LAST THING, you already seem really good as you are, and I could always be wrong and stuff, so believe in yourself the most!! and please keep going!! I’ll cheer for you!

[aeide-thea]

i probably should have written this post earlier, i.e. before i had more of a bottle of rosé than i’m quite willing to admit to, but! i did not! so you are getting the not-not-drunk version! on the bright side alcohol’d me is very nice, mostly they are just Friendly and Happy albeit a little overinclined 2 inform you about how sad it is that they and A— are passing like ships in the night, that is, without any kissing...

anyway! today was a Day omg. i was very stupidly nervous about my german exam for reasons unbeknownst to man or otherwise nonbinary person, except i guess that i wanted it to be painfully apparent to A— that i’m good at this, which, uh, if he didn’t know that already he’s kind of oblivious and also my quickness has yet to cause him to be overwhelmed with love for me, why is that honestly! but anyway i was pretty excruciatingly jittery, like, we were all sitting in our formal rows and there were Extra Non-Classmate Strangers joining us for the proficiency exam and like, everyone else was being quiet and normal and i was, like, making dramatic woeful faces at C and telling her to pat my head and tell me it was going to be okay, which, jesus, self, calm yr tits! unclear if A— was observing this, he was there at this point but also my stratagem has mostly been to assiduously avoid any chance of eye contact in case my face somehow says ‘hello i think yr beautiful and would like to grammatically bump faces,’ which frankly seems like a likely thing for my face to say! anyway we did our exam and like, babe, i love you but also when you write a thing and then go back and add an introduction you’re supposed to make sure that e.g. people are introduced the first time we encounter them, rather than the second? and not repeat yourself? so that was a little lol. anyway we had a choice of two passages and i went with the one that was about wolfram eilenberger’s zeit der zauberer, which is not important except that the ““conclusion”” on this passage was, like, ‘and then mussolini and hitler leveraged the economic and political crises of the period—’ [at which point a nice friendly dazu compound, hello, how nice to encounter you here in the home stretch when i thought perhaps i might be free and clear!] ‘—to build up their movements, which led to fascism/nazism,’ the end. dear A—, i am very bad at conclusions but i’m pretty sure that was not one! anyway that was the first mention of mussolini in my day but not the last.

then C and i went to the grad cafe, which, sadness, who is going to let me into the grad cafe now! i will have to rub elbows with the general populace once more! which is especially a thing bc holy shit is campus swarming with literal high schoolers rn, i mean, good for them but also i have a solid decade on these children and it makes me feel ancient, remember when i was this ignorant of how much the world was going to bruise me!

anyway we went to the grad cafe and hung out with C’s boyfriend L for a while, who is like. a quiet really lovely italian potato? jesus i come up with the worst most insulting similes to describe people i actually like, i said to C this morning that i was the neurotic cheetah friend and she was the sensible dog friend which i meant as, like, ‘yikes i need a keeper, i am very grateful for yr well-adjustedness!’ but i feel like was probably kind of insulting although i apologized later and she was like, honestly i’m just amused! you were so zany this morning! which. yes. yes i was.

anyway we hung out and did postmortems on our respective exams and then went for lunch at Local Thai Place where i haven’t been since... maybe since i brought R there? is that possible? anyway in a long time, so that was kinda nice.

and then A emailed me to say,

A—

which like, sry abt the humblebrag or whatever but i’m just. how fucking typical honestly, jesus. i’m so absurd.

also he wants a ~contact in my department~ bc literally everyone else in the class was a grad student who needed to pass the reading proficiency exam as part of their degree requirements, except, uh, i am a baby dork who just thought it would be interesting, so i don’t think there’s anyone to notify particularly! i mean i guess he could let Prof V— know, but she would definitely be like, dot dot dot thanks, glad K— is out there jumping through random unnecessary hoops??? or, you know, whatever the equivalent of that is in german, since she’s also a native speaker, so presumably they would conduct this entire exchange auf deutsch...

anyway then i had more class, whoop whoop, which for my sins was a second class on the fucking aeneid, goddamn, i have spent a truly staggering amount of time being lectured on that poem considering how much i hate it! i mean parts of it are flooringly good and parts of it are workmanlike as shit and parts of it are shamefully propagandistic and the latter two aspects make me real frustrated with it even though the first aspect is also very real. anyway i decline to let drunkme have the final word on vergil so like, maybe someday there will be more things to say. although also my main feeling about him is intense apathy so also there might not be.

but so anyway that led to the second mention of fascism in my day, bc the fasces came up somewhere and then we got into Modern Reception of Same, which admittedly in diesen finsteren Zeiten is not nearly as remarkable as it might once have been, but i still was, idk, amused that my life had arranged itself in such a way that both my classes raised the topic! although i guess maybe a different way of saying that is, thank god classicists and germanists are acknowledging some historical culpability here, this is kind of an important time to be doing that...

but anyway back to some more frivolous notes, bc at the end of the day this is a perblog—

as i said to E earlier, i retract any aspersions i had previously cast on my baby mythology classmates, one of them asked for an extension on the paper and so we all got one, thank fuckin god honestly; and

A— emailed me as [different subset of my legal name than i have been using in that class all semester] and i really don’t know what to make of that, like, in the system i’m [full legal name] and my email is [firstinitial lastname] so unless he’s been doin some pokin on facebook or something i d fuckin k honestly! A Mystery! probably the actual answer is that he has paid insufficient attention to get my name right but also he got it right in class on multiple occasions so ????

anyway on that note i am going to end this inexcusably long post so i can go to bed and then study a bunch and then take another exam tomorrow evening and then help Baby Sister move and then somehow produce a dauntingly-long paper out of currently-nothing, yikes yikes yikes! 

in the meantime we can all take bets on whether A— will give me the A+ that quite frankly my disgusting aptitude and enthusiasm deserve, or the significantly more dubious grade that my total failure to hand in any of the more boring assignments has technically probably consigned me to... i mean, to be clear, the grade is not remotely important! except for the part where i'm obviously going to use it to decide whether he liked me at all, because that’s obviously what grades mean! welcome to this embarrassing illustration of the ways in which my brain is in certain ways very good but also in other ways very very crazy!

[jizemderler]

Celebration “Prompt” @emilybillard : Hey! Congrats on 500+ followers! Can I have both an mood board and a prompt? 💖I followed you bc your an amazing writer and an awesome person..I have brown hair and hazel eyes. I love reading. I love photography. I’m shy and awkward until you get to know me, then I become more awkward and you wish I would shut up. People have told me I have a very kind personality and I could give people cavities bc I’m so sweet😂 I suffer from anxiety and I’m Canadian. And can that be with Tom? Thank you!!

A/N: This is the “prompt” for the lovely @emilybillard . Thank you for all the kind words, I love you, I don’t deserve you, you’re awesome!! Even though I really like this fic (I really enjoyed writing it!), I’m shit at writing prompts! I can’t keep it short dvjddj I’m trash. I hope you like it anyways! Enjoy!

“Are you ready?” he asked as the car came to a halt and layed his hand over yours. “Will we leave if I say no?” you asked and you two both knew that you were joking. This event was really important for Toms carier and you’d never leave him to deal with it on his own. He was really nervous about it and it helped him knowing that you’d always be by his side.

“We could. But we probably won’t.” he chuckled and you flashed him a smile.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

You were somewhat used to the flashing lights as soon as you both left the car and walked onto the red carpet. First they took bazillion of photos where they would yell your name constantly to get you to look over. You tried to look in every direction possible so they’d get their picture but after a few minutes you felt slightly dizzy so you tightened your grip around Toms arm which made him look down worriedly. You kept smiling and ignored his worried look but he understood and wrapped his arm around your waist to give you more stability.

After the photos it was time for the interviews. You walked alongside Tom and he did not let go of your hand. “Hello you two! Look at you! I’m so honoured to be interviewing these gorgeous love birds.” the interviewer said into his mic while looking into the camera and you looked down to your feet trying to hide your blushing cheeks. “Who are you wearing tonight?” the interviewer asked you both and you looked up at Tom so he would answer first. “Uh, you know. Probs to my dresser. She does an amazing job but never tells me “who I am wearing”. It’s an ongoing joke of hers, she finds it very funny.“ he said chuckling and you grinned to yourself. You loved her and it really was entertaining to watch Tom find new anwers everytime he was asked that question.

“Now you’re exposed. Eat that, homie!” he said into the camera and made gang signs which made you laugh. “No, I’m joking. She’ll kill me. Or not dress me well and embaress me. I depend on her. She’s a great person.” he apologized immediatly and made the interviewer laugh too.  After they talked about a few other things where you threw in little comments here and there he finally asked a question directed to you.

“So, tell me. What are you guys doing with your free time?”

“Regarding that we don’t have a lot of free time, we enjoy little things. Simple things, you know. Like watching a movie or going out to have dinner. Sometimes we have friends over and play charade.” you said sheugging your shoulders,“ And Tom is not a good loser. He is very competitive.” you added while covering the side of your mouth as if he couldn’t hear you that way. “That - ” he started to decline but as you looked up to him he let it go, “is kinda true, to a certain point.”

“What do you do when Tom is away. Like what keeps you busy?”

“Well other than college. I read a lot. Sometimes I go out with Toms little brother Harry to snap some pictures because we share the same passion for photography, you know?” you said and looked over to Tom who was watching you with a loving smile. “And Tom over here will pout if he hears about it. How dare I have fun while he is away.” you joke and Tom blushes while you laugh with the interviewer.

“Y/N! Could we have an interview!” you heared someone yell and looked over your shoulder.

“You can go if you like. I’ll finish this.” Tom encouraged you and pointed at the interviewer with his head. “Uh, sure…” you said and shook the interviewers hand as a goodbye and moved on to the next one. Tom watched you in awe how you handled the situation. You went from one interviewer to the other answering politely and having nice conversations. He saw you laugh quiet a numorous of times and he felt a little pout-y suddenly. You were really sweet and friendly with everyone and they loved you whihh was great. But Tom somehow felt left out even though he was busy himself. He liked having you by his side. Especially when you were wearing a gown like that where every guy in your presence tried to impress you.

You were talking with an interviewer about your no-goes when you felt someone wrap his arm around your waist. “I’ll have to steal her from you know.” he said and took your hand. “It was so nice talking to you!” the interviewer said and leaned in to give you a hug which you kindly accepted. “Same goes to you.”

“Thank you for your time!”

“Thank you for your time.” Tom hissed under his breath as you two walked into the bulding and you looked at him with furrowed brows. “Are you okay?” you asked and tried to look him in his eyes but he looked straight forward. “Yes.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

He didn’t make sense what so ever so you decided to let it go. You walked to your seats where Harrison and Harry were already waiting. You hugged both of them and sat down. Tom did not say a word the whole time they talked on stage and you couldn’t understand his sudden mood swing. The event itself went really well and the four of you decided to attend the after party. “I’ll have to go talk to some people. Are you okay with staying with Haz and Harry?” he asked you leaning in so you’d actually hear him. “Of course. Off you go. I’ll occupie myself.” you agreed and waved him off. He smiled thankfully and leaned in to give you a quick kiss before disappearing in the mass of people.

“Wow! You look gorgeous.” you heared someone say from behind and when you turned around your mouth dropped as you saw Robert Downey Jr standing behind you with open arms. “Uh…thank you, I guess. So do you!” you said and wanted to vanish into thin air as soon as it left your mouth. He chuckled and came closer while sipping at his glass. After you had a long conversation with Robert you talked to many other people. Celebs mostly which left you totally shook.

Tom was talking to his manager when someone approached him with a big smile on his face. “Hey Tom!” he greeted Tom and they shook hands. “Your girlfriend is the most down to earth, sweet and funny girl I have ever met. Does she have a sister or anything?” he joked and Tom forced a smile on his face. Was she talking to everyone but him tonight? Tom knew that it was douchy of him to think like that but if he was honest to himself then he would admit that he was jealous. It was great that everyone loved Y/N but he liked having you for himself. Jesus, you were nice to everyone. Too nice maybe which would bring the guys on unwanted ideas. As soon as Tom thought of that he excused himself and went to find you. As he found you, you had your head thrown back laughing along to something Chris Evans had said. He picked up his speed and was by your side in seconds.

“Hey, Tom! Nice to see you man!” Chris said and gave Tom a quick one-shouldered hug. “You too, Chris.” Tom said and Chris did not stay long after that. “Do you want to leave? I think we should leave.” Tom said suddenly and you looked up in confusion. “What’s going on Tom? You’ve been weird the whole time? Did I do something to upset you?” you asked and tried to read his emotions but he shook his head. “We should get home.” he just said and you let your shoulders sink. “Sure. Let me just grab my stuff.” you said and took off to gather your stuff.

***

Tom did not talk the whole ride home. He did hold your hand but it felt weird and this situation was bugging you. You thought you were doing great with the interviews and the press and all of that but appearently you had messed up somehow. When you finally got home you two changed into more comfortable clothes which were old T-Shirts and baggy sweatpants. You cought him staring at you with furrowed brows as you turned around after you finished changing your clothes.

“Alright. Spit it out. What did I do?” you asked finally and crossed your arms infront of your chest, feeling a little annoyed. “You still look hot.” he groaned and your eyes widened. “Pardon me?” “I don’t get it. You’re not even showing skin or anything.” he said staring at your body and you couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “What did you drink tonight? Something heavy?” you said amused and he rolled his eyes. You walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “What’s bugging you? Come on, tell me.” you encouraged him and he wrapped his arms around you too.

“It’s dumb.”

“Come on.” you said rolling your eyes and he sighed.

“You’re beeing too sweet.”

“Come again?”

“You looked smoking hot today AND you were sweet to everyone. They were literally drooling after you.” he growled and furrowed his brows. “Are you se-…You are serious oh my god!” you exclaimed and chuckled while cupping his face with your hands. “I thought something bad happened. I thought I did something wrong! You were just jealous.” you laughed and he mumbled something you didn’t understand. “No you were great. You’re so sweet you could give me cavities.” he said like a little boy and made you laugh.

“You’re so dumb!” you said and leaned in to give him a statisfying kiss. You broke the kiss after a few seconds and grinned teasingly. “I’m canadian. I can’t turn of the sweet. Thank god you have a sweet tooth!” you teased him and wiggled your brows which made him roll his eyes.

“Shut up.” he said and leaned in to kiss you again. Whomever drooled after you, at the end of the day you were only his.

[brianruhe]

Testimonials

Testimonials

apollonian Jan. 9, 2020Don’t under-estimate Brian–he’s extremely clever. And Brian is actually a brilliant historian, understands Western Christian culture and philosophy, only coming at it all from his amazing Buddhist point of view–which absolutely throws those dumb kikes who hardly know what to say, think about it all. Most and best of all, Brian values and respects the Christian TRUTH ideal (= Christ, Gosp. JOHN 14:6)–see above notes by me. Only criticism I’d have of Buddhism is its too easy endorsement of non-existent “free” will which couldn’t exist in an objective, hence determined reality, which objectivity is agreed for both Christianity and Buddhism.Poet Samuel • Jan. 7, 2020What I notice about Brian’s work – He will inquire and investigate everything for himself in pursuit of his own personal / empirical insights and conclusions. And he will happily weather everyone’s judgement and scolding for doing so – Left, right, up, down, nobody can stop or correct a born truth-seeker from annoyingly examining every stone (lol). Keep on waltzing through the tidal waves of scorn and judgement from all alliances, Brian. Truth is king.

The Brian Ruhe Show  Poet Samuel • You nailed my view, Poet Samuel! Thank you dearly. My Dresden survivor advisor describes me as a true intellectual. I just want to know the truth!

The Outsider

 My Friend Brian Ruhe by American Buddhist monk, Venerable Paññobhāsa Mahathera Posted: 16 Oct 2019 01:17 PM PDTThe purest idealism is unconsciously equivalent to the deepest knowledge. —Adolf HitlerIt is better to make a mistake than to do nothing. —Adolf Hitler My Friend Brian RuhePosted: 16 Oct 2019 01:17 PM PDT     No doubt some of you have noticed that I’ve begun doing weekly Skype interviews with the notorious Brian Ruhe, the “Nazi Buddhist,” president of the Thule Society (an organization that endorses the worship of a deified Adolf Hitler), and lord and master of the Brian Ruhe show, recently censored and banned from YouTube but still available on Bitchute. In fact some of you have started reading this blog because of seeing me on Brian’s show—after all, Herr Ruhe evidently has a larger following than I do, though that’s not saying very much. So I suppose I should explain why I am associating with such a notorious fellow, what I have learned from this association, and why I now consider him to be my friend.     Our first contact was back in 2011 or 12, and was brief and uneventful. I think in those days neither of us was fully red-pilled, so to speak, and we were more or less “normie” western Buddhists, though still rather unorthodox and weird by mainstream standards. Anyway, upon returning to the USA after many years in Asia I sent out emails to many of the teachers and Dhamma organizations in the general area (mainly the state of Washington and southern British Columbia in Canada), and in those days Brian Ruhe was a reputable, more or less mainstream Dhamma teacher. Anyway, after offering my services to any Dhamma society that was interested, Herr Ruhe wrote back saying that he was pretty much a subsistence Dhamma instructor and lacked the resources to support outside teachers, and that was that.     Several years later, after both of us had been “radicalized” by the Information Age and the Internet, a supporter of both of us suggested to Herr Ruhe that he should interview me for his show (the Brian Ruhe show, then still on YouTube), and so he contacted me. Not only did he ask me to be on his show but he further asked me to be the spiritual director of the Thule Society, which latter honor I declined for reasons laid out in a previous post. But we did the show, and it went rather well, and so we have continued with it.     No doubt there are some people out there who think that a Buddhist monk associating with a devout Nazi—or National Socialist, as Herr Ruhe prefers to call himself—is somehow necessarily inherently wrong and reprehensible. On the contrary, I don’t think so at all.     Some of Brian’s views are very different from mine, with regard to politics, the heroism of Adolf Hitler, the origin, ancient history, and current state of the human race, and also with regard to Theravada Buddhism—though ironically he is more of a scriptural fundamentalist than I am, at least with regard to cosmology and his belief in the texts’ authenticity and authority in general. So although I know the texts rather better than he does, I am also more skeptical, while Brian, bless his heart, is endowed with more of the Will to Believe. (In other words, going with the terms of Buddhist philosophy, he is more faith-oriented and I am more reason-oriented.) Regarding politics, I am not a Nazi or a fascist by any sane, non-hysterical reckoning. I see myself as more or less of a classical liberal, and consider the libertarian system set up by the founding fathers of the USA to be about the best so far devised and put to the test. The farthest I would concede to the fascists would be to say that, at this stage in the game, if I were required to choose between Marxism/socialism and some form of not-particularly-violent fascism, I’d almost certainly go with the fascists. Socialism sucks, and Marxism is historically, objectively worse than Nazism or small-f fascism in general, going with such objective criteria as numbers of corpses generated by each system.     So, although I’ve been called a Nazi sympathizer, my Nazi sympathies are very limited and conditional. I do have sympathy for Brian Ruhe though, mainly because he’s a nice guy, and a sincere one. For that matter I am willing to hold a discussion in good faith with anyone capable of a sincere and more or less courteous exchange of views. Hell, I’m even willing to have a discussion or reasoned debate with a neo-Marxist, though most of them seem too hysterical or ignorant to discuss their views rationally, especially if there is feedback from someone who disagrees with them. (Objective rationality is, after all, a tool of white patriarchal oppression.) I have been hoping to have a discussion with some advocate of politically correct Social Justice on this blog, but again, most of them are adverse to having their views challenged. But I am willing, just as Herr Ruhe also is willing.     So, a primary reason why I do weekly Skype sessions with Brian is that he is willing to converse and exchange views in good faith, even though we don’t agree on all points. We’re not overly concerned with changing each other’s views, either. And I must say that the conversations can be interesting, for us at least. Also of course the videos have increased the readership of this blog.     I mentioned that Brian is more orthodox than I am in his Buddhism, at least sometimes. He’s literally a devout Buddhist Nazi, or rather a devout Buddhist National Socialist—“Nazi” was originally a derogatory slur, and Herr Ruhe tends to avoid the term. (I persist in using the term “Nazi” simply because it’s shorter and easier, and National Socialists ought to be tough enough to hear words they don’t like very much. Besides, it’s used so much that it’s hardly any more of a slur than “National Socialist.” It’s sort of like the term “Pagan,” which also began as a slur but was later reclaimed, and even accepted with pride by faithful Pagans.) Anyway, with regard to Brian’s devout Buddhism, it is interesting that he was actually ordained as a Theravada Buddhist monk for several months back in the 90’s, in Thailand, I’m pretty sure. Later he was a more or less mainstream teacher of Buddhism and meditation in the general area of Vancouver BC, until he was red-pilled and then ostracized by intolerant or fearful leftists. So Brian is a Buddhist first and a Nazi second. He takes Buddhist ethics very seriously, including the stuff about compassion and nonviolence. He understands Dhamma better than do most western Buddhists, and probably practices it better as well.     Some people might assume, and reasonably too, that a Nazi would necessarily endorse militarism and even genocide. Nope! Brian simply denies all of it. Not only does he not endorse genocide, he firmly disbelieves the very idea that Hitler’s Nazis favored or perpetrated it; all that stuff is just propagandist lies promulgated to vilify the Führer. The Nazis were the good guys, even by Buddhist standards, according to him—there was no genocide of “subhuman” races, and Hitler was a peace-loving man, an inspired visionary who preferred designing buildings to bombing them, and who was forced into WW2 against his will by establishment warmongers spurred on by globalist Jews. Thus, among other things, Brian Ruhe is a sincere Holocaust denier. (Personally, I feel that although many of the stories against Hitler are probably exaggerated to some extent—just consider the stories against Trump lately—Hitler’s notion of Lebensraum pretty much implied an eastward invasion sooner or later, and I very much doubt that the Slavs were simply going to donate their territory to him. Also, preemptively dividing up Poland with Stalin’s USSR was certainly not persuasive evidence of his peaceful intentions, and his annexation of Czechoslovakia was an arguably predatory and shitty thing to do. But I suppose the “Hitler did nothing wrong” folks have their own explanations for all of this.)     Ironically and maybe counterintuitively, as anyone who watches his videos can see, Herr Ruhe in his actual conduct is morally superior to the hysterical leftists freaking out at him on the streets of Vancouver. Most people who walk past Brian as he peacefully holds up a sign bearing a pro-Hitler slogan (or something equally politically incorrect) just ignore him, or glance at him and continue on their way; but some people curse him to his face repeatedly, bellow at him in a state of outraged anger, hatred, and self-righteousness, and sometimes even physically assault him. No doubt they feel perfectly justified and virtuous while doing so. Brian is almost saintly in his potentially self-destructive desire to peacefully wave Nazi signs in the midst of crowds of leftist activists. It is peculiar that the lefties going hysterical at Brian are literally more intolerant and more hateful than a Nazi. Let that sink in for a moment. But not only that: I would go even farther and assert that many Social Justice leftists, possibly even most of them, are more intolerant and more hateful than a Nazi, at least this Nazi. In a recent video of Brian’s one guy actually observes that Brian Ruhe isn’t a “real” Nazi simply because he isn’t hateful enough.     Again, I assert that I am not a Nazi or a National Socialist, or even a run of the mill fascist, and I do not agree with a lot of what Brian promulgates, even though he is a nice guy and we have some interesting conversations. A good example of ideological disagreement would be our respective attitudes towards Jewish influence on western civilization. Adolf Hitler once said,The art of leadership…consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split up that attention….The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belong to one category.It seems plausible to me that the Führer walked his talk in this case by using Jews as the unifying adversary. No doubt he really loathed them, but still it does seem plausible that they were also a convenient political tool for unifying the militant righteous indignation of the German people. Nevertheless, Jewish influence on western civilization is much more profound than most people realize; and anyone who reads Kevin MacDonald’s The Culture of Critique is bound to become at least a little antisemitic (which is why it’s the only academic work banned by Amazon.com). Some Jews really are behind much if not most of the pernicious social phenomena running rampant throughout the postmodern west, including multiculturalism and the various forms of Marxism. The Holocaust may very well have been exaggerated (for propaganda purposes) for all I know; and with regard to Herr Ruhe’s theories about reptilian space aliens collaborating with powerful Jews, I suppose the less said the better. It seems to me that the greatest Jewish influence on western civilization was the advent of Christianity, originally a Jewish reform movement, although relatively few Goy Rights Activists place much emphasis on that particular point.     So, Brian and I disagree on some things and agree, more or less, on others. Considering that we are both Theravada Buddhists, there is naturally quite a lot of agreement on basic doctrines of Buddhism and Buddhist ethics, and I even happen to share some of his weird ideas derived from ancient Indian Buddhist cosmology.     Regardless of the objective truth or falsehood of his beliefs, Brian Ruhe’s conduct is morally superior to most of the people publicly bashing Nazism, including the outrageous hypocrites virtue signaling on cable news outlets. News announcers and commentators on pretty much all of the mainstream media pose as moral guides to the masses, yet they, unlike Brian Ruhe, are certainly not operating in good faith. These people are calmly, self-righteously, and cynically attempting to destroy anyone who threatens the narrative that they are paid to disseminate (and yes, they are paid by globalist Jews), regardless of actual guilt or innocence. For me, the mainstream leftist/globalist media’s ruthless, cynical attacks on Brett Kavanaugh were the absolute last straw; the guy is a totally vanilla, nerdy Christian white rich guy who obviously has never been a sexual predator, yet almost the entire political left in the USA were declaring him a serial rapist based on nothing but unsubstantiated accusations made by leftist activists. When he became upset and indignant at such sleazy attacks these same people cynically attacked him for being emotionally unstable. Their conduct towards the Covington High School kids, or for that matter towards President Trump, have been no better. Such “moral guides” are vastly morally inferior to the likes of Brian Ruhe the “Nazi Buddhist.” If I were ever to be interviewed by someone like Morning Joe, or Cathy Newman in the UK, they would certainly not be conducting the interview in good faith as Brian does, intent upon an actual exchange of views, and I would feel contaminated by the process. Not that they’d ever want to interview me.     As it turns out, I am one of the only monastics of Brian’s own professed religion who is willing to associate with him in public since he publicly began endorsing National Socialism. A few others are willing to communicate with him privately, but otherwise keep their distance. This is understandable, but whether this avoidance of Brian is based on missionary diplomacy, cowardice, or something else would depend on their own mental states, which I surely don’t know. Anyway, I’m no Jesus of course, but even the Christian Messiah was criticized during his lifetime for hanging out with prostitutes, tax collectors, and other unsavory riffraff.     And so, to sum it all up, Herr Brian Ruhe has got some very weird ideas (some of which may be true for all I know), but he’s a genuinely good guy, as far as I can tell. I suppose his girlfriend could describe a side of him that I haven’t seen, but then again she’s his willing consort and presumably loves him—but of course that’s none of our business.     Thus far I have enjoyed our Skype interviews, and I don’t give a damn about political correctness hysteria, so I’ll keep going with them for the foreseeable future. Brian’s Bitchute channel is here. The website for the Thule Society is here. (insert 30s-era German military music here)P.S. At Brian’s request I am including here a short video of Brian characteristically offering up a Nazi salute in the midst of a crowd of protesting lefties, while fortunately being protected by a few police officers: https://www.bitchute.com/video/Fg7mLXklitO8/?list=jAwYD9IBVY8E&randomize=false  

(insert 30s-era German military music here) You are subscribed to email updates from The Outsider. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now.Email delivery powered by GoogleGoogle, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States  Previous Next  Sept. 22, 2019 Dear BrianJust wanted to shoot you a quick email to let you know how I appreciate you posting your views and interviews on “alt” dhamma. You’ve revealed to me that there are people who can benefit from sharing encouragement to strive on in this wilderness. the internet truly has great potential to reorient ourselves and bring our existing culture into focus by use of right view.After holding my own intentions under the microscope for some time, your example has encouraged me to make my own mini contribution in the spirit of friendship. So I decided to create a Bitchute channel and share the videos I’ve created for myself to encourage and inspire energy and devotion in my own practice.If you get a chance, please take a look. I am always very pleased to receive constructive criticism, thoughts and feelings by my elders in the dhamma. Please show me no mercy :).My hope in creating this channel is that we fellow wanderers can find some encouragement and inspiration to follow the buddha’s “pali line”, not the “party line” of present sectarian (special interests) dhamma.I believe it is our responsibility to implement the buddhadhamma as perfectly as possible in our individual, cultural, social and historical context. And I’ve found it helpful to start with what we have now (Western culture) and to “train” it in line with the dhamma. So I’ve been gradually “culturally appropriating” our popular movies, poetry etc and using it to develop propaganda to inspire pursuit of the dhamma. Here’s the link if you get a chance (Ministry of Cultural Appropriation)Anyway, thanks again. Your gifts, your offerings, your sacrifices, all appreciated as ever, my friend.Hope you are well!  2019-09-19 6:06 a.m., Hugo wrote:You are one of our heroes, Brian.Hugo o-d-i-n.net Molo_Tulo The Fuhuer sits in Valhalla with Wotan. He was the greatest man to walk upon Midgard! You rock, Brian! Keep up the cause!***Great video Brian! I posted the following comment…If you were wrong, someone would have debated you at length instead of people just repeatedly rejecting you and swearing like sailors. It’s very good to hear you explain the existence of the Transfer Agreement, AKA the Haavara Agreement that Hitler had with the Zionists. The Jewish author Edwin Black was one of the first to explain this in detail, and concludes that there should be a statue of Adolf Hitler in Tel Aviv because without him, no Jews would have been safely transferred to Palestine prior to the outbreak of war at the hands of the British and French.***Wow! They sure are triggered. There is no crime in standing on the street. If they can’t articulate an injured party (person) or (property), then there is no crime. Here’s some of what I’ve discovered in my search to expose the truth. In a Gallop poll in 1941, 83% of the USA was against blowing up Germany. Stay safe and thanks for the links! Peace,Robert Hiker1  Patex321 As an fellow Germanic i like to salute you for being/becoming awake!Patex321 As a german I thank you for your courage.RemelRemel Bloody hell. Good on you Brian for daring to tell the truth to the public. The guys complaining is just your typical brainwashed idiot. They can’t debate, just (((shut it down))). Funny how this idiot said you’re racist too. What a complete moron. Hitler was NOT racist.whitey333 The balls on you are enormous. Best Video I seen in forever.https://www.bitchute.com/video/sVJhWQ38k6O5/JimB Brian, you’ve got more courage than most of the big, puffed-up he-men “pumping iron” in all the gyms around the world. And patience! You’re a prime example of Buddhist tenacity.Bloody hell. Good on you Brian for daring to tell the truth to the public. The guys complaining is just your typical brainwashed idiot. They can’t debate, just (((shut it down))). Funny how this idiot said you’re racist too. What a complete moron. Hitler was NOT racist.Seekerofsanity Brian: I am new to you but really like what I have read so far. Saw the ridiculous shit that the renegade tribune wrote about you in march; pathetic slanderous lies if you ask me. Total cowardice. Look forward to more of your work!Western-Celt-UK More people need to do more of these vox pop billboard discussions in public in the big cities across the World and upload them, what a great way of getting truth across.Re_World I respect you brother, keep doing what you are doing.TheWestIsBeingDestroyed You are a patient man, Brian.aboutthetruthmedia  TheWestIsBeingDestroyedHe seems like a friendly, approachable guy.anarchore Brian needs a volunteer security detail. Maybe with matching shirts. 😀rambetterIt’s about time that people learned the Truth about Adolf Hitler. Brian, thanks for having balls.Handsome Truth 6 MILLION POINTS IN STREET CRED BRO!!!CarlSyerforest Brian Ruhe…King of Cool 

Kid_Dynamite If you keep displaying that sign I’m going to “try” to take it from you. Even that guy isn’t sure he can do it.CarlSyerforest • 4 days agoBrian Ruhe…King of CoolKid_Dynamite • 5 days agoIf you keep displaying that sign im going to “try” to take it from you. Even that guy isnt sure he can do it.−

The Brian Ruhe Show  Kid_DynamiteI told him I was taller than he was 

aboutthetruthmedia Very brave, very approachable Brian! It was good to watch. gingerj the brain washed sheep , this guy just refuses to listen and i think brian keeps his cool well, if it was me i think he would be on his way to a and e room.anarchore You rock Brian! Thanks for being a truth beacon.Jeffrey88 • 3 days agoWow! Great work standing your ground to that white knighters! That’s why I support the Brian Ruhe Show!Charley Howard I have to tell you, Brian you’re a considerably braver individual than I could ever be so hats off to you. If you wouldn’t mind a suggestion perhaps you could gently tell people about the slaughter of the Ukrainian people at the hands of the Jewish commissars prior to the outbreak of the second world war in the Soviet Union. I think they be quite interested to hear that the Jews had slaughtered far, far more Christians at the hands of their barbaric socialist system than ever were presumably killed in any kind of death camp. I doubt they’ll believe you, but perhaps in a light a fire in their mind and that will make them more inquisitive as to what the TRUE HISTORY is compared to what the Hollywood version of history that we have been fed. Once again, kudos to you for your efforts, stay safe!   longdistancerunna We should be out there with Brian. Just imagine even 100 people walking alongside these men with similar signs against 2 jew defending “heroes”. It would be very interesting to see what would happen. Do you think something similar to the Munich Police shootings of the NSDAP’s march in 1924 that landed Adolf Hitler in jail for a year? Keep in mind that is what really caught the eyes of the German people who came to realize that they were being lied to about Communism. The Nazi parties election seats grew enormously after Herr Hitler was released a year later. 

whitershadeofpale  longdistancerunna • 4 days agoFair point, but I think if it got to the stage of 100 more people,standing side by side,would get attention from the authorities. A better approach would be to have smaller break-off groups working incognito. This is a very inspiring work from Brian though all the same.Sept. 18, 2019Hi Brian,these interviews were very interesting. To his credit, Armin at least approached the discourse with some semblance of balance and was far more restrained in denying you a chance to express yourself. The other guy…not so much. These guys are either incredibly naive (and/or ignorant of factual history) or they’re willingly denying the truth, so as to fit their Marxist dogma. I believe that many Euro-Canadians, Euro-Australians, Euro-Americans etc are coming to the stark realization that the fifth column Marxists have so corrupted our media and education, that they’ve damaged our young people, way more than we care to accept. If Trump’s presidency achieves nothing else, the exposure of the true size of the Zionist inspired Communist threat, will be achievement enough.Well done with your recently published David Duke interview. Dr Duke is one of the best around at exposing criminality of the Sabbatean/Frankist “death cult” that is Rothschild Zionism.– Chaz the Advocate  On 2019-08-30 5:17 a.m., wrote:Hi Mr RuheI just wanted to let you know I really appreciate your courage to share your views and to take the initiative to interview Ven. Pannobhasa.The interviews on corruption in the sangha, alt-buddhism in the West and Mind Control I found really intriguing.Very encouraging to hear your friendly voices in this wilderness!Wishing good things for you.Thank you kindly Tristan,I am passing your message on to Venerable Pannobhasa. “Wilderness” is an excellent word to describe this world, eh?Hi Brian Amen, brother. An encouraging thought that the Wilderness is the most honest place to learn the true value of friendship. Feel free to share my gratitude, but not my name or contact details, as I am trying to tread lightly. There are snakes. 🙂 From YouTube commentsNov. 12, 2017And Roid 20 hours ago (edited)Hi Brian I’ve turned my attention to doing mediation more regularly and learning Buddhist teachings due to your influence. I think there’s a lot of suffering and lack of mindfulness among the truther community so you may be a person who’s in the right place at the right time. I honestly would probably never have heard of Ajahn Brahm and Ajahn Sona (let alone listened to Dhamma talks) for an indeterminate amount of time had I not been drawn to your interviews (I think it was the ones with Andrew Carrington Hitchcock and Dennis Fetcho that pushed me over the edge into looking into your work further). For people who love to learn and become a better person I think Buddhist teachings/practices are a great way to relieve the monotony of the “doom and gloom” content the majority of alternative media (or our personal lives even) seems to consist of. And if we feel like modern life is too much, some knowledge of existing support structures (such as forest monasteries) could be useful information.Brian Ruhe 9 hours agoWhat a testimonial, And Roid!! May I copy and paste this for others? I deeply appreciate your specific story, thanks! You make my job worth it.Oct. 2017 Alex Seferiades2 weeks agoBrian, your reverence for the German soldier brings warmth and happiness to my heart. Greetings from Ontario!! You are doing a great job covering what many are afraid to talk about but know in their innermost core to be the truth. It is most likely that you are a reincarnated official or soldier from the Third Reich era. Only you would really know that for sure though. You have my best wishes… Keep fighting the good fight! Brian Ruhe1 second agoThanks Alex! That makes my day. I was a Luftwaffe pilot killed in a crash about fall of 1944. I have discussed this in a few videos. My current girlfriend was my 13 year old daughter at that time and with her hypnosis session, she remembers far more about me than I remember. Read the full article

[harmonioussolve]

Proper Nice - Chapter 14

(reposting bc I was rushing last night & there were typos LOL)

read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21342046/chapters/56365450

Summary: You're a hospital event coordinator and you meet Arthur after hiring him for a gig. Then, you find out that he's gonna be your neighbor. Then, maybe you guys fall in love, idk. This is my first fic so be kind and enjoy :-)

He chuckled as he stumbled over his words. “I, um. I don’t know. Narrow it down for me, maybe?”

“Okay,” you straightened and crossed your legs. In your peripherals, you saw Arthur’s eyes watching you intently. You weren’t sure if he was aware of his now tighter grip on your hand.

The two of you continued to make comfortable small talk to pass the time in the car. You wished that this car ride could last forever - to skip the stupid gala. You wanted to tell the driver to turn around so that you could just take Arthur home.

“You can smoke in here, by the way - if you want to,” you offered.

“Oh… No thanks.” He nervously ran a hand through his hair.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to seem rude.” He nodded in the direction of our driver, who was hidden by the partition.

“Oh, he doesn’t care, I’m sure.”

“I’m fine. Really.” Arthur said as he pressed his lips into a reassuring fine line. There was an awkward pause - an opportunity for you to speak up. But, when you started, Arthur spoke again.

“How far away is your parents place?” He asked as he looked away from you out his window.

“Not too much further,” you exhaled. You couldn’t do it. You were going to chicken out. Your heart was breaking before you could even start to let the words out.

Arthur craned his neck to get a better view out his window. Past him, the evening sky had darkened under a sheet of charcoal clouds. The sun shined through just slightly, casting a eerie glow on the rolling green hills. You guys were now officially outside of Gotham - not far, but far enough that the view outside of your window looked like another planet. No graffiti, no concrete, no fluffy clouds of pollution. Just lush green for as far as the eye could see with miles of black wooden fencing. Civilization was barely visible here, and where it was, was few and far between.

Arthur didn’t even notice you looking at him. While he was distracted by the view, you had the opportunity to regard him for just a second. His jawline, the way his brows were furrowed and emerald eyes were focused, his hair that fell just right and brushed along the side of his cream colored collar. It wasn’t fair.

He turned to you and his face fell when he noticed you staring. You retracted your hand quickly from his with a gasp, a nervous reaction. His eye darkened.

“What’s wrong?” He said softly.

He knew something was wrong. He could sense it. You warmed your hands back up by rubbing them together as your cheeks burned of embarrassment. Not only was something clearly wrong, but he had definitely caught you staring at him. “Nothing.”

He tugged at his own collar, readjusting it as if it were choking him.

“…Red is your color,” he stated suddenly. Quietly, he added, “and you are so… beautiful.”

Caught off guard, your only response was to blink back at him. His eyes were so tantalizing and green and solemn - you wondered if he realized how unique they were.

The driver pulled into the driveway - small beige pebbles crinkled under the tires and broke the silence. Through the gate, it stretched to the front of the house, where there was a roundabout. You peeked at Arthur out of the corner of your eye and you could see him become restive. The house that you grew up in was beautiful - tall and intimidating - decorated in towering brick with cascading ivy.

The driver stopped the car at the front door, where he shifted it into park and got out of his seat. He opened Arthur’s door, and he paused before stepping out. He took a deep breath and straightened his jacket after standing and extended his hand to yours. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress before taking his hand. His tension was rubbing off on you.

He leaned in and whispered, “Is this really where you grew up?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed nonchalantly. Maybe if you acted like it was nothing, then it would be nothing.

The two of you stepped into the vast foyer, the clicks of your heels echoing. The short train of your dress swayed behind you as a gust of air from the front door tousled your hair. Arthur lifted a hand to smooth it down for you, his eyes sparkling. You wanted so badly to ask him to leave with you right then and there but, you knew that tonight had to happen - whether you wanted it to or not.

One of the employees offered to take Arthur’s jacket & he politely declined. You looked around and everything was just how you remembered it - beige, glossy marble. Pristine and cold.

You guys started down the hallway into the living area where Sabrina greeted you warmly. She jumped up and down at the sight of you and wrapped her arms around your neck.

The colors of each room were all the same - monochromatic, neutral and, in your opinion, boring. A large sectional cream couch divided the room where a handful of people stood and sipped from champagne flutes. Colorful art pieces on canvases were dotted around the room, each perched on their own easels.

“Finally,” she joked lightheartedly. “And Arthur, you look dashing. Don’t you clean up nicely!”

“Thank you,” he started to say as Sabrina grabbed him by his neck and lowered him to her. She placed a kiss on each of his cheeks as his eyes widened. You giggled at his surprised reaction. Even though she was an acquired taste, you loved how your best friend made an effort to make him feel included.

“Oh! This is my date - Charlie.” Sabrina moved aside so that her date could greet the both of you. You’d never met this guy before. You were sure he was a Tinder match. No judgement. He seemed nice and he dressed appropriately. He was tall and blonde and looked like he was probably his high school’s quarterback.

“A red suit, man… I like it! Very bold,” he stated as he patted Arthur on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you guys grab a glass of champagne?” Sabrina offered. “We have to make the most of this fucking snooze fest - no offense.”

“None taken,” you stated with raised brows. You and Arthur walked over to a credenza at the far end of the sitting room, weaving in and out of people. Each of you grabbed a glass as you raised yours to him.

“To tonight.”

“To tonight,” Arthur repeated, gently clinking his glass to yours. You glimpsed at him slyly above the rim of your champagne flute, your lips quirking upward. The bubbles sizzled down your throat as you stopped yourself from gulping the whole glass out of nervousness.

Arthur leaned in to whisper in your ear. His warm breath brushed your neck and sent a chill down your spine. The sharp scent of aftershave and cologne was tempting. “I, um, wanted to tell you again how amazing you look.”

“Why, thank you,” you said as a flush dusted your cheeks. “You are, certainly, prince charming.”

A rose tint dusted his cheeks as he peered down at you.

You lowered your voice. “I guess we should get the hard part over with.”

“What’s that?” he said as he looked up and took in all of the high ceilings.

“Meeting my parents.” You took his hand and lead him through a short cut. You guided him through the swinging doors of the kitchen where a full staff was scrambling to get the next course ready.

“Do you guys always… have a full kitchen staff?” He questioned as you urged him to keep up with you.

“Erm… no. Just the main three chefs. They live here.”

“They live here?” You ignored his astonishment and pulled him through the next set of swinging doors out of the kitchen. Down the hallway, you could hear your parents talking in the back room. The yellow light seeped into the hallway through the archway to another sitting area. You inhaled deeply & reassuringly rubbed Arthur’s arm.

This was the first hardest thing that you had to do tonight. If I could just get through this, then i’ll be halfway there.

“Darling - finally! I was wondering where you were.” Your mother welcomed you with open arms. She delicately patted your back and kept you a safe distance away from the intricate up do that her hair was styled into. Her Chanel No. 5 perfume singed your nostrils. Your father was at the other end of the room, entertaining a group of guests that you didn’t recognize. His booming, deep laughter drowned out the sound of the music.

“I was just showing my lovely date around,” you said as you stepped aside to introduce Arthur, who was standing timidly behind you.

“You must be Arthur,” your mother said as she grabbed him gingerly by the shoulders and proceeded to kiss both of his cheeks. “I’m so glad you guys came.”

Arthur only nodded in response. Your mother adjusted her beige and brown fur shawl around her shoulders. Her dress was a fluffy, metallic navy blue with a strapless sweetheart neckline. It looked like something that someone would wear to a wedding if they were the mother of the bride.

Or, if you were someone’s rich mom.

 She motioned her hand towards a tray of champagne flutes that sat on top of the counter. “Please, help yourselves.”

Arthur chose to hang on to his current glass, which was still half full. You set your now empty flute down on the counter to grab a new one. This was going to be a long night.

“So, Arthur. What do you do for a living?”

Getting right to it, are we?

Arthur shifted nervously. “Um, well… I’m pursuing a career in stand-up comedy. But for now, I work as a party clown.”

Her eyebrows shot up while she was taking a sip from her flute. “Mmmm… a party clown?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Ahh,” she considers, setting her glass down. “Interesting.”

You felt yourself become self conscious of the tone that she had with him. You could sense her being just the tiniest bit condescending and this conversation couldn’t end sooner.

“Isn’t that lovely?” You chimed in and tilted your head at her. “That’s how we met, actually. He goes around to all of the hospitals and makes the children laugh. He loves to spread joy in that way. You should try it sometime.”

Arthur mouth fell slightly agape as he stood quietly beside you. You suddenly found yourself thinking of how different your relationship with your mother was compared to his. He was her caregiver, for God’s sake. He probably wouldn’t dare to speak to her like that, as much as he might want to.

She lifted her chin with an amused smile, ignoring your rebuttal. “How old are you, Arthur?”

Your brows knitted together in shock. What an odd and unnecessary question to ask him at their first meeting. You couldn’t say that you were completely surprised, though. It was your mother, after all - ruthlessly and unabashedly nosy.

“…I’m 32.”

She hummed once again. “Quite the age difference. Have you thought of another career?”

You and Arthur exchanged looks. You wished you could pull one of those flimsy black holes from the old cartoons out of your evening clutch, drop it onto the floor, and jump into it - disappearing and taking Arthur with you.

“No ma’am. I… have always wanted to be a comedian. My mother… she says I was put on this earth to spread laughter -”

Your mother’s eyebrows raised once again. “Oh! That’s a wonderful dream to have, Arthur. But, have you thought of a more… sustainable career?”

“What do you mean, ma’am?”

Is she not going to correct him? She’s just going to let him call her, “ma’am?”

“Well,” she started. “Here are my thoughts-“

Maybe we should start running now.

She delicately swept a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she cleared her throat. “- I want my sweet girl to be taken care of. I need her to be with someone that has a solid career with substantial job security. I’m not sure if being a…  performer would provide that - unless, you come from money.” She chortled into her champagne before she devoured the rest in a theatrical gulp.

“Mother, please-“

“I’m just being realistic, darling. Best to get this over with in the beginning, right?”

You scowled at her. She wondered why half of your relationships never lasted and the other half never even met her. She wasn’t a realist - she was relentless. Your heart shattered thinking of how Arthur might be feeling in this moment. You hoped that he wasn't actually taking her words or attitude into consideration. Your mother’s approval was certainly not needed when it came to being with him.

You were just about to pull him away when -

“How else would you be able to afford to live in New York?”

Your heart stopped.

“New York?” Arthur asked faintly. He glanced back and forth between your mother and you. Your throat began to swell. “… Are you leaving?”

You were frozen under his beseeching gaze. The backs of your eyes started to burn with tears that threatened to make themselves known.

“Well, if you two are as serious as you seem to be about each other, wouldn’t you go together?” your mother challenged with knitted brows.

Your jaw clenched as you ground your teeth together. No, no, no. Not like this. I should’ve told him in the car when I had the chance.

“… What? When?” Arthur looked at you desperately. He looked panicked - as if he was waiting for you to tell him that it wasn’t true. But, it was.

“In a month!” your mother exclaimed a little too excitedly. “I’m sorry, I assumed you knew!” She threw her hands up and shrugged her shoulders with a tsk. “I mean, you brought him as your date, darling. You never bring a date.”

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck before looking down at the floor. “I had no idea.”

“I was going to tell you -“

“Oh, my darling has been wanting to live in New York all of her life. We are so proud of her.”

“I’m sure -” Arthur snorted as he clasped a hand over his mouth.  

“Arthur…” you whispered, rubbing his back to try to console him.

Suddenly, he doubled over in cackling laughter. He grabbed the edge of the counter to steady himself as your mother jolted in surprise, laying a delicate hand on her chest and gasping. A few of the other guests at the other end of the room turned there heads in your direction.

“I-I’m… sorry. I have… a condition,” he choked out in between gulps of air. His laughter became louder as he wrapped one of his arms around himself.

“Arthur,” you cooed. “Let me explain -“

“I… have to… get some fresh air.”

You tried to extend a pleading hand to his, but his fingers slipped though yours.

When you turned to follow him instead, your mother grabbed your arm, pulling you back to her.

“Sweetie, do you really want to go after him? He can’t take care of you the way that you should be,” she whispered into your ear so that the other guests couldn’t hear. “There’s something wrong with him. You’re wasting your time.”

“How dare you?” You spat as you sternly removed your arm from her grasp. “There is nothing wrong with him and I am not wasting my time - why would you say that?”

You paused as a few of the guests shot concerning glances toward you two.

You could feel your eyes begin to swell and your vision became blurry. “Don’t you want me to be happy?”

“Of course, darling but -“

“Good,” you interjected, holding up a hand. “Say no more. Please.”

She leaned back and squinted at you. “You love him, don’t you?”

Without answering, you turned and left the room. Down the back hallway, a pair of french doors led out to a second story concrete deck. You grabbed a bunch of the front of your dress and held it up off the floor. Between the window panes, you could see Arthur with his back to you, smoking a cigarette. He braced himself by placing his hands on the bannister.

You quietly opened the doors, the evening winter air immediately chilled you. You closed the doors behind you, crossed your arms, and slowly made you way to him.

“Arthur…” your voice, barely above a whisper, cracked. “Please, hear me out.”