#doesn’t mean that regulus isn’t allowed to feel hurt
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theicarusconstellation · 8 months ago
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another day another post about regulus expressing his feelings being filled with comments invalidating them and saying that by expressing his hurt and anger he and op are ���villainizing sirius”
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theprongspotter · 3 months ago
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Percent - Jegulus - @stag-microfic - Day 21 - 643 words
James and Sirius are lounging on the couch in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, their sides pressed together in a way that speaks of years of comfortable friendship. The firelight bathes the room in a soft, golden glow, crackling gently as it burns, the only sound in the otherwise quiet night. Everyone else has long since retreated to their dorms, leaving the two of them alone in the tranquil warmth.
James stretches out, his head resting on the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling as if lost in thought. Sirius glances at him, his fingers idly toying with the loose threads of a cushion. The silence between them isn’t awkward—it’s peaceful, easy. It’s the kind of quiet only best friends can share, where words aren’t needed to fill the space.
Without warning, James blurts, “I’m in love with Regulus,” and immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide in shock at his own admission. His heart races, and he looks at Sirius, as if expecting an explosion.
But Sirius doesn’t explode. He just smiles, a soft, knowing expression that James rarely sees on him. “I know,” Sirius says quietly, his voice warm and devoid of any judgment.
James hesitantly lowers his hand from his mouth, staring at Sirius in disbelief. “What? And you’re not mad?”
Sirius chuckles, the sound low and reassuring, like the crackle of the fire beside them. “James, when you love someone, you wear it on your sleeve. You always have. It’s one of the most beautiful things about you.” He glances away for a moment before meeting James’ gaze again, the warmth in his eyes unwavering. “And of course I’m not mad. You look happy, mate. Happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.”
“Yeah?” James asks, his voice barely above a whisper, suddenly feeling exposed but hopeful.
“Yeah,” Sirius nods. There’s a brief pause before he adds, more gently, “Maybe I’m a little hurt that you felt like you couldn’t tell me. But that doesn’t mean I hate your love.”
James can’t help it—he practically launches himself at Sirius, wrapping his arms tightly around him, a wide grin splitting his face. Sirius grins just as widely, his arms circling James in return, and he tucks his head into the crook of James’ neck, laughing softly. It’s a moment of pure joy, of relief, of two best friends rediscovering their connection.
When Sirius pulls back, there’s a playful glint in his eye. “Are you two together, then?”
James’ face heats up, and he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “No. I’m not even sure he likes me back. Actually, I’m pretty positive he hates my guts.”
Sirius snorts, shaking his head. “He doesn’t. Trust me. Regulus has been smiling more these days, and the dark circles under his eyes aren’t as bad as they used to be. From what I’ve noticed, anyway. I think you’ve had a bigger impact on him than you realize.”
James sits up straighter, his heart leaping in his chest. “Really? You think so?”
“One hundred percent.” Sirius nudges him with his shoulder, a crooked grin on his face. “You’ve probably been dying keeping this a secret. So, go on. Tell me about him. What do you love about my little brother?”
James doesn’t need to be asked twice. He grins, eyes lighting up, and begins to talk, his words tumbling over each other in his excitement. He tells Sirius everything—how Regulus’s eyes glint like starlight when he’s amused, how his sharp wit makes James’ heart race, and how, underneath all that cold, polished exterior, Regulus has moments of softness that make James fall for him even more. Sirius listens with a small, fond smile on his face, as James finally allows himself to speak openly about the boy who has quietly stolen his heart.
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myriadparacosm · 1 year ago
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Black Beats Black - 1. Blackthorn
Available on my AO3
Sirius Black is everything that his bloodline is and nothing that he wishes to be. To his demise or luck, he isn’t even good enough to be a Black - is he low enough to depend on this cursed family? He hammers his head against the ceramic toilet lid for that thought.
“I didn’t think–”
“Do you ever, Sirius?! Because I don’t even know what ever brought me to think otherwise.”
He still lacks an answer even hours later–maybe days or months, he can’t piece much together past the suffocating cuts piercing his throat. A weight finally gives in, allowing him to cough his pain out. The tears take it as a sign to follow as well but Sirius tries to swallow them all. Too busy trying to breathe after every spits of petals, leaves and a handful of flowers, they continue to cascade down his cheeks as his brain rewinds Remus’ face over and over at a sad attempt to engrave it forever in there. His cries and gurgles fill up the wide bathroom, ricocheting against each other to submerge him again.
“I’m so sorry, Moony-”
“Don’t talk to me and don’t bloody call me that! What is wrong with you?!”
So many things. Sirius has every vice packed in him, drowning him to every end; they feed on him but they can’t get rid of each other. They are a violation packed together and for some time he had forgotten about the shackles branding him with everything he hates.
Sirius is arrogant, rotten, malign and so jealous. His mind can only come up with means to hurt, to spite and to break.
“Hypocrite,” he articulates at his reflection in the toilet’s water.
No one is here to see him crash and burn in his own home-made hell. A petal clings to his lip as a weak plea to slip back in with the many others but instead it’s bitten, crushed loudly and painfully between his jaw until he spits at his own face down the toilet.
Most of all, Sirius is a failure. He isn’t any good to anyone or anything. His family wants to lead him down a path he can’t stomach and this brands him as a flaw. The one part Sirius would have wanted as a Black was to keep his brother but Regulus has ignored him ever since he started Hogwarts, finally getting the opportunity to deny any likeness to his pitiful older brother.
It’s not a surprise. Blood creates some ties, sealing them in a way it would be uncouth to deny it– but Sirius can’t even be a good friend and friendship doesn’t offer the forced loyalty family does. He feels sick except it’s nothing as heartbreaking at seeing again the look of his friends, of Moony.
There is nothing to trump or act for and yet Sirius can’t let go of his excuses. He is a Black—cursed bloodline of madness, hatred and abuse so who is lil’ ol’ Sirius Black to act any other way? His wishes are burning into his eyes but they can’t sink in the toilet like the flowers. He wants to disappear there for once and for all.
He hurls with a strength that escapes him. His head hits the toilet and his throat cramps like a feral animal fighting for a last breath before letting go. A flower brushes over his eyelashes saddened by more crocodile tears. The toilet overflows with a bouquet of wolfsbane. They almost hold Sirius’ face, akin to a hug, but their kindness only feeds his hunger.
Eating them is perhaps the way to go.
Sirius knows his excuses are only what they are: pleas. He has tried to be a better person, anything else different than what he was taught as a child. Either he has failed or his family name is the iron that he will never get rid off. He only wishes that his friends would have believed that he is somewhat of a good person - James, Peter and most of all Remus. Moony who has reminded him what his core is and shall now be baptised as only Remus to never tempt Sirius into mooning his name again.
“Sirius?”
He jerks up with water drooling from his face. Regulus stands at the entry of his stall, eyes mirroring Sirius’ horrified expression.
“Reggie.” His brother is bemused and the more he looks, the worst it becomes. “You have come right on time,” he weakly croaks with an undignified cough of petals.
Regulus’ school bag heavily slips down from his shoulder as he gapes at him. “Sirius… What happened?”
His throat clamps around another mouthful of flowers and perhaps some part of his lungs. He wants to laugh at his face, come up with anything to distract them both, but the salt submerges him once again and his planned haughty snort wheezes into a gargled cry.
“Flowers for the funeral,” he articulates, turning back to look at the blood staining the wolfsbane bathing in the toilet. “Walburga would never provide them.”
Regulus gasps, breaking out of character with a weak noise before he calls him again. “Sirius. Is it the Hanahaki curse?”
“Is it?”
His brother hisses and they clash. Regulus’ hand falls on his shoulder like a breeze before pulling him. It leaves Sirius dizzy and miserable of longing as another cry climbs up his throat. His uniform is drenched in sweat and some blood. He can’t imagine the state of his hair but nothing about him must be looking good after all the days he spent miserable and exiled from his friends. They are face to face with his brother crouching to be at eye-level.
“Sirius,” Regulus whispers and slightly shakes him by his shoulders. Sirius hasn’t even felt his second hand on him before his nails dig into him. “Since when do you have the Hanahaki?”
“Didn’t think I should mark that day,” he mumbles.
“Bloody— Sirius, please, focus,” he harshly says. “Is it related to why you weren’t with your herd of wankers lately?”
“Piss off. It’s not your problem.”
Regulus exhales through his nose like a punch and his fingers gouge in him for a beat before relaxing.
“I need to know how long it has been going. If you already have so many flowers I’m worried-”
“Worried of what?” Sirius spits and fights his grip until he can properly kick him away, surprising Regulus who falls on his ass. “Why are you even here? Bet you can have a sick laugh when you tell everyone what you just saw.”
“How can you still be prick when you’re dying?!” He shouts back, nostrils flaring and throat stiff like a blade.
Because he is Sirius Black. The shame of a family, the ban of his friends, the mean brother and the miscreant of the love of his life. Truly Regulus can’t be surprised at that.
He roughly coughs out another flower which plunges between his legs with blood like a dead fish. It feels like it escaped with his whole heart because nothing seems to beat in his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Sirius says at last as he curls up. “For everything.”
Perhaps it’s dishonest of him to make amends now but Regulus is a part of him he will never forget. No one else is available to take pity on him which is a twisted blessing. Sirius sees Regulus like that time they were eight, edging on his own ninth birthday; Walburga had lashed out hours on Sirius and he had been found crying in the bathroom to not put any of his blood in the house. Regulus had read him a book to pass the time and comfort him.
“Sirius, stay with me.”
He blinks up, voice dry and skin aflame. His brother cautiously cradles his face like they are opposite energy that will shatter in contact. It is what they are. One will look at their black hair, grey eyes, inbred poshness and assume they are the same; except that Sirius doesn't even know how different they are because he never got to know Regulus like any sane and good person would.
"Do you remember your eight birthday? Lavender cake."
"Sirius-"
"I destroyed it because I was jealous of how big it was. I don't even like lavender cake. Who would make flowers into cakes?"
"Sirius!" Regulus hisses and tightens his grip on his jaw.
"I really wish I was a better brother for you," he babbles between sobs and hiccups, "I don't bloody know what's wrong with me because I love you even if you're everything they want you to be."
"Shut up," he threatens with murder dripping in his tone. "Sirius, you will shut it before I hex you."
"Are you happy?" Sirius asks with a newborn brazenness. "I would like for you to be happy so tell me." His brother stares speechless at him. "Maybe you're just like them but I'm no better."
Regulus lets go of him, letting him crumble against the porcelain, and draws his wand. His grey's eyes meet his brother, a challenge lost in translation by the furious thoughts storming through, as he casts.
"Pondus Penna."
Sirius doesn't feel the feather-weight spell on him until Regulus pulls him up with one hand and his bag. His brother vanishes the flowers without care and drags him out of the stall. They aren't that different body-wise but Regulus is leaner and slightly smaller than him and Sirius would be no help. Can't even feel something other than how his chest is caving into a field of poisonous flowers.
It's at the round of sinks where his brother pauses to push his head under the tap spewing ice cold water. Sirius shrieks and tries to fight his grip but he is at disadvantage here.
"Let me go you bloody moron!"
Regulus turns off the tap and straightens him up, roughly adjusting his shirt before casting a scourgify on it.
"Feel better?"
"No, you're a bloody prick," Sirius curses with his hair drowning the rest of him before it's charmed to dry.
"Takes one to know one," Regulus retorts with his blank face. "You looked like a wreck and I doubt you want to go see Madam Pomfrey, do you?"
"Piss off."
If he ever passes by the Hospital Wing, everyone will know about it. There isn't even a cure to the Hanahaki so there is really no point for Sirius to bother her with that. He brought that upon himself.
"Have you even returned to your dorm recently?" He asks with a look at his clothes. "You haven't cleaned this stain of coffee from five days ago."
"How would you know that?" Sirius huffs back.
Regulus blinks at him, silent, but it's clear as day how something creeps up.
"You're my brother," he replies with such solemnity it might be his last words. “Despite everything. And you brought me another cake.”
“Did I?” He wonders because he doesn’t recall much of that day after Walburga casted her familiar Crucio on him.
“Sirius, where is your wand?”
It should be in his hair, except that they aren’t up in a loose bun where he likes to stash his wand which always drives Remus mad because how unsafe it is. He is right, as always, but Sirius never learns until he crashes.
“Maybe in the toilet…”
“Wanker,” Regulus spits out. “Accio Sirius’ wand.”
Thankfully there is no splash of water to cohere with his theory, it probably only fell on the ground. His brother catches it and roughly puts it in Sirius’ hand. He turns to head for the door and pauses when he realises his brother hasn’t moved.
Sirius stares at him, wand edging to fall from his loose fingers. There are many feelings battling through him and the flowers tickle him with a teasing afterthought. Going out here means living and he isn’t made for this - not when he destroyed everything that mattered the most to him and certainly scared Remus deeper than the wolf ever did. Regulus has no reason to be here, calling him a brother, but he waits for him as if they have always done this.
“Why?”
“Hm?”
“Why are you here?”
“Because I thought someone sneaked in a bloody pig and was slaughtering it in the toilet,” Regulus replies with a huff, “turns out it was you. Anyway, where are you sleeping?”
Sirius might as well drop here and now to fall asleep. Once Remus woke up from the last moon and learnt what Sirius had done only a few days later - screamed at him despite the pain and the exhaustion of the last transformation, he has never returned to the dorm and slept a few times at the Shrieking Shack fully aware that they probably won’t come there any time soon.
It quickly grew uncomfortable because it has always sort of been Moony’s space and Sirius doesn’t want to make things any worse so he left and has been wandering around, mostly sleeping as Padfoot outside in a corner whenever possible. He wonders if the full moon had been different for Moony, with how Sirius had clashed with James and Peter took his side until they decided to shift to not make Moony wait any longer. The discord must have been obvious, especially considering how smart Remus is and naturally Moony too.
“Here and there.”
Regulus scowls, probably seeing through his words without a problem. “Well let’s go then, dinner is ready.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I didn’t see you at the Great Hall for days-”
“I know how to get in the kitchen,” Sirius cuts as he starts feeling restless at all his attention. “Again, why do you care?”
“Don’t act stupid Sirius, it’s useless,” he replies curtly and steps up to him, squaring his shoulders despite being smaller. “Then let’s go to the kitchen, I am hungry and by your state you need something else than the flowers.”
“Why would I even come with you? We don’t talk. We don’t hang out. We don’t know each other.”
“And whose fault do you think it is?”
Sirius’ face hits many emotions at once while no feelings would ever be able to hold on Regulus’. Remus did ask what is wrong with him as if there is an excuse or a reason for his madness. Regulus and him would have the perfect ice-breaker if they ever come to chat— will Remus come to Sirius’ funeral? That would be the perfect time to start.
“You don’t even look at me,” he retorts because he is twisted and just can’t let someone slap him with the truth.
“As if you did,” Regulus refutes with an eyebrow twitching. “It was all James this, James that and-” His bad imitation of Sirius’ voice falls dead as the rest of his morose face slowly opens in a dreadful shock. “Please, tell me it’s not Potter.”
Sirius wants to laugh because he has no idea how to digest the shock of his usual detached face growing more and more uncomfortable and distressed.
“Sorry?”
“The flowers,” he hisses, getting more agitated. “Who are they for?!”
“James? Ew.” Regulus sags on himself at his words with a bitten ‘Thank Merlin’ and eyes closed. “How do you even know what that is for?”
“Because I read,” he curtly says. “Do we need to stay in this blasted bathroom or can we bloody go?”
Sirius eyes him. “Where?”
“First eat,” he decides and walks back to the door without opening it, eyes drilling into him for him to get a move on. “Come on, stop being a prat.”
He isn’t hungry nor really tired. The last days have been a mixture of overwhelm, hatred, exhaustion and frustration as he tried to go on his days without feeling soulless. A cough escapes his chest, causing Regulus’ eyes to widen, but Sirius swallows it.
“I planned to run away next break,” he admits with his eyes burning but meets his brother’s discreet frown, “James and I have been planning it. I would have asked you to get out of there with me.”
His reaction is a mystery as nothing quite escapes from Regulus. Sirius figured he would be mad that he would even think of running away from their loving home, raging at him for even assuming that Regulus would ever want to disobey their parents— nothing of that blank look.
“Would you… you would have asked me at the last second,” he supposes, unwavering from his attention, and Sirius’ nod doesn’t appear to surprise him. “You probably would have the floo burning or a window open and be half-way through it when asking me.”
Sirius hasn’t figured out that far. There is no way he will survive there especially when their parents have grown more and more insistent on his future. Regulus might have tell them about his escape plan. The validation of their parents seem to have always mattered to his brother and Sirius wishes he would have grown out of it already but he is too scared to risk his own safety.
“Would you have left with me?”
“Are you not doing it now?”
A raw, broken laugh escapes him with a frightening fear. “Can’t really if James doesn’t want to see me again.”
Regulus looks ready to reply right away but he closes his mouth. His hand shifts his bag on his shoulder with his eyes falling to the ground. He meets him again with a stern look.
“So we got that sorted out. Now can we continue this around some food or at least not in a bathroom where you just puked your heart out?”
“Tu es vraiment une merde.”
“Toi aussi,” he replies with a perfect accent and opens the door, staring at him until Sirius finally unfroze from his spot.
Any other time Sirius would have fought and bite to not follow Regulus– for a reason he cannot fathom. He has nothing to lose and maybe it’s his heart bleeding out like a trapped animal that pushes him to follow him. Better spend what he can with his brother before he dies.
It is what will happen: Sirius will die. Be it an unrequited love, at least Sirius will die beautifully with flowers drowning him from the inside. What he wouldn’t give to at least restore Remus’ trust before he leaves this world. James might forgive him at some point with how kind he is. Peter would be easy to convince too. Although Sirius isn’t even sure why he ever did it.
There is nothing to lose which might as well bring him to stay with his brother in case his lungs fully clog up tonight. Perhaps Regulus is relishing in seeing him suffer and wants to watch him die from up close. Sirius has no pride to preen nor the actual strength to care but at least he can give him this. His hair is in disarray and he can’t remember the last time he has washed them. It’s a habit that he learnt to appreciate, taking care of himself and especially his hair with fancy products though he has changed from what his parents supplied to them.
“Your hair smells like lavender.”
“Why would you smell me?”
Regulus almost frowns at him but he only blinks one time too much to not betray his confusion. He forces another slab of mashed potatoes in Sirius’ plate, despite the fact that he barely took one bite. The entry to the kitchen hasn’t surprised Regulus as much as he thought.
Most house-elves were surprised by the new face but they still served them food, probably because of how ill Sirius looks - he had seen a brief reflection of himself in his plate before Regulus served him. Getting in the kitchen is supposed to be a Marauders’ secret, how they find themselves bringing food up to their dorm or how they convince a few elves to help them with their pranks, but Sirius supposes he can hand this heritage to Regulus.
“Because you’re smelly,” Sirius replies as he decides to eat a spoonful instead of throwing it at Regulus’ shiny hair. “What do you have with lavender? Gets you off?”
“Stuff your mouth before I do it with toads,” he hisses. “And I like the smell, plus it doesn’t taste bad.”
“Shut up. Who would eat lavender cake if it’s not to be a posh asshole.”
“Better that than having bad taste,” Regulus huffs and focuses on his plate before looking up. “I do prefer the one you brought me.”
Sirius truly can’t recall whatever he is talking about. He only remembers the pain and the smell of the room his mother had angrily dragged him to correct him.
“Really? Which one?”
“Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte. Chocolate, cream with some alcoholic cherries. You stole one cherry and almost broke a tooth when the seed hadn’t been taken out properly.”
That he remembers. Sirius had asked Kreacher for the cake, when he finally got allowed out of his confinement room, after begging for a piece of bread for himself. Apparently it was a cake for the adults and a small piece was left and he brought it to Regulus as an apology. He has been too hungry and too young to not ignore one cherry and the seed would have probably not hurt that much if it hadn’t been for all the hexes his mother threw at him earlier that day. She hadn’t been satisfied and brought Sirius to the bathroom to engrave the rules of bienséance in his skin.
“I remember, the cream was really soggy but you ate it all.”
“Mh… It’s my favourite cake.”
Regulus isn’t open anymore. He only looks at his plate and dutifully empty it with all the manners of a pristine child. A complete contrast from the kicks and nudges he keeps giving Sirius to eat his own plate. There isn’t much space in his body despite the cave growing each day through his flesh and bones. Still, Sirius tries to force himself because he doesn’t have the strength to fight.
He wishes there was some of that cake here just to be sure his memory is as pleasant as it was. Sometimes it had been alright, more than often when Regulus and him were left alone. Sirius never had the good temper of his brother and this gathered most of the attention. At least he saved Regulus from any of their bad parents’ moods and swings, always earning the punishments and tortures. Sirius never learnt but Regulus perfectly did by only watching.
“I’m going to throw up,” he gasps out in a haste.
Regulus straightens up just as several elves twist in panic. He stumbles out of his seat with a hand over his mouth as he tries to breathe without giving in to the nausea. His body must have disconnected because he finds himself held against his brother like a dying fighter.
There is far too much panic stitched on his face, completely breaking the cool demeanour and somehow feeding the pallor from their family. They might both become ghosts - that would be quite unique. Regulus must read his thoughts because his eyebrows twitch and a disbelieved glance around them relaxes him.
“He’s alright, thank you,” he says, rudely hauling Sirius with a grimace and groan who clumsily gets on his feet with all his weight on Regulus. “Sirius, I swear I will drop you and let you crack your skull open on this very floor if you don’t help me.”
He slurs an incoherent word which doesn’t please his brother who glares and drags them outside the kitchen with the horde of house elves convoying them. They manage it outside and Sirius isn’t surprised to land against a stone wall without much grace.
“Shit– you are a bloody prick, did you know?” He groans out with a pained moan.
“If you start to complain I will return you to the toilet where you can drown.”
Sirius would snicker at him if he wasn’t suddenly hit by the picture of the toilet blooming of flowers and blood. They quickly crawl up his throat and slip past his lips before he even coughs them, just like a greeting. Regulus doesn’t take it well by the panic in his eyes and the way his face loses all of his teasing edge and nonchalance. His retching and bleeding coughs easily reverberate in their tense silence.
“Evanesco,” he weakly croaks out to vanish all the traces but his tears persist to slither outside.
“Sirius.” Regulus stops him from pulling his wand away, hand tight around his. “Since when.”
“I don’t know.”
“Sirius, please, be– honest. This is important.”
He exhales through his nose, shakily rubbing his eyes to get rid of the salt brimming there with his free hand. Regulus’ grip tightens and he steps closer.
“I really don’t remember.”
“It’s Lupin, isn’t it?” He whispers without startling at the pained cough answering it. “Of course… It’s been almost two weeks since you have been with your bunch so I suppose whatever happened caused this too.”
“I’m tired Reggie,” Sirius cuts and finally tries to straighten up but everything hurts up to his toes. “You didn’t get your nasty kick in yet? I’m not telling you anything.”
“I couldn’t care less about whatever happened,” he spits. “I want to understand how you are in this state.”
He groans out and jerks his hand out free of Regulus’ grasp to walk away. “I’m going to sleep.”
“Sirius,” he hisses and rushes after him. “Sirius don’t be stupid– please.”
A snort escapes him and the disbelief is short-lived because he finds it hilarious how difficult the last word has been articulated by his brother; who doesn’t appear to share the same sense of humour since his face only scrunches up.
“You alright? Sounds like you almost cracked a rib there-”
“You’re the worst person who has ever been born, I swear.”
“No, I wouldn’t take your title Reggie.”
Regulus roughly grabs him by his arm and stops his hand before he can try to push him. They aren’t that different. Even height-wise, though that’s probably because Sirius has lost the habit to stand like a stuck-up unlike his brother, but Regulus is a dedicated seeker and frankly brilliant if they ever shared honest compliments which means he avoids to bulk up unlike him. Although Sirius probably will lose a bit of muscles now that he got kicked out of the Quidditch team. He doubts he could get Moony’s attention even with the cuddliest muscles possible either way.
The petals are caught and crushed in his brother’s palm before he realises it. Regulus looks at them all wrinkled and bloodied.
“Do you realise what is happening?”
“I’m not a moron.”
“Then why do you act like you don’t care?” He asks, voice quiet and coming from a long time ago where Sirius never thought he could care for anyone else. “Sirius, you’re dying…”
It feels exactly like when he got his Hogwarts letter and Regulus came in the middle of the night, snuggled and held onto him like he might disappear any second, with pained tears trying to not spill as he asked why he is so happy about leaving him. Though now his eyes are not as big, more sharper and eclipsed, and overall rigid as if he might break– perhaps now but Sirius has lost his optimism down the toilet. He dearly hopes it happens one day because despite being a disdainful tosser, Regulus is a wonderful being.
“Because I don’t,” Sirius replies with no shame. “I don’t care.”
Regulus eyes him with an obvious arithmancy rushing through his head up until his jaw locks with a determination.
“There is a solution-”
“I’m going to sleep,” he decides and rushes down the corridor.
“Sirius!”
“It’s your curfew Reggie.”
“Sirius for Merlin’s sake you’re going to listen to me before I hex you!”
“Back off!” He shouts back.
He is actually surprised that Regulus runs after him but Sirius isn’t one to back down. Changing into his animagus almost comes to his mind because he is obviously an already dead man and if he compares his brother badgering or ending up in Azkaban, he would pick the second option and die there without any witness.
To his surprise, the flowers tingling his lungs also throw him off completely with a dead weight and he finds himself quickly winded and gasping for air. Regulus isn’t keen on running and has more than once ignored avoided all running exercises even for Quidditch but he is never one to underestimate, easily rounding the corner.
“Espèce de bâtard !” He spits out and roughly shoves him to the floor before stopping his fall with a hand around his arm. “Sirius, I’m not going to let you go.”
“Bloody hell, bugger off!” He exclaims and kicks him in the shin before falling face first on the floor. “What is your problem?!”
“You kicked me! You’re my problem!” Regulus argues in exasperation before swiping a hand through his hair. “Sirius, I don’t think you understand-”
“I perfectly do!” He hisses back and sits up with a glare. “You’re the one making a big scene-”
“Because I don’t want you to die!” He spits out with a raw sob that he quickly eats behind a hand.
Sirius blinks. Whatever he swallows has more claws and poison than any flowers. Regulus doesn’t seem to fare better because some part of his face pales while his lips and eyes have turned redder with his worry.
It’s all bizarre. So far from their comfort zone where they would just see who looks away first, now they can’t properly meet each other without quivering back and forth with broken words.
“Alright,” Sirius says.
Regulus gapes at him before scoffing and looking around in disbelief. He goes back to being silent without offering a hand to help him up from his spot on the floor. His mouth clams up around the taste of flowers and no words come to him either.
Dying is terrifying and Sirius has always somewhat felt its grip on him. Every step in their house, each word spoken and any movement promised it without second thoughts or mercy. He hasn’t been happy to go to school, and even less not seeing his brother, but he has been relieved to leave the suffocating air of Grimmauld Place. Nothing more and yet it felt like everything to Sirius.
The freedom that hit him in the Hogwarts Express left him lost but so, so, elated that for once he hadn’t been thinking about what happens once you stop breathing– the moment where everything will freeze, mind and body crushed into dust, with no promise of even an after.
Sirius doesn’t care right now. He has brought this fate upon himself: falling in love and destroying it with one impulsion. This childhood fear has never come back and won’t because he has already been living long enough to feel lucky. What he regrets and cares about is what he is leaving behind. James barely looks him in the eye, not ever since he had stared at Sirius afraid and stunned with an unreal anger. Grimmauld Place has never been his home and Sirius must not be made to have one since he has lost James.
“What did you do?”
His brother frowns at him curiously but quickly returns his attention to the wall beside them, whose stones are shifting, slipping and crossing each other to reveal a simple but large wooden door.
“What did you do?” Sirius returns.
“I asked you first.”
“Does it look like I did something?”
“You could just say no like a sane person,” Regulus scoffs with a wary look on the door. “Really, what is it?”
“I don’t know,” he groans out as he stands up.
Whatever it is, it’s better than dwelling. Sirius is confident that he, with the Marauders, got around Hogwarts’ every nook, passage, secret and false tapestry to believe they might have missed this. Remus has noted everything down to the perfection for their map.
A cough escapes him and the petals are swallowed. Regulus’ pointed look drives him forward to touch the door.
“What are you doing? Don’t touch it if you don’t know what it is.”
“It’s Hogwarts, nothing is really dangerous here,” he argues and tries the handle that turns without a hitch.
“You do realise that the Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason and that we have a giant squid and many creatures that would eat us in the lake right next to us?”
“Reggie, you worry too much.”
There really doesn’t seem to be anything dangerous about it, especially when the magic only feels welcoming and comforting. It reminds him of the Gryffindor’s dorm but opts to throw this thought away to open the door.
Behind this wall should be literally nothing, if his memory serves correctly, or at least not a proper room with two beds mirroring each other. A fire is running, strong and warm, from a pretty chimney working as a clear cut of the different moods.
“Are those your stupid posters?”
The exact Muggle posters of not-quite naked ladies Sirius has sealed to his bedroom’s wall at Grimmauld Place are somehow here. It’s actually easy to decipher that one side is weirdly made for him and the other for Regulus with the stack of books spread on the floor with his favorite blanket to read with on the opposite bed.
“Yes,” he admits in confusion and steps in, bemused at the parquet and the rugs, taking in the closet brimming with clothes. “Merlin’s balls, what is this?”
There are clothes he had tried during one of their adventures in Muggle London with all the Marauders and the girls. Sirius hadn’t gotten his fill to be fair but even Marlene was tired of waiting and running after him every time something caught his eye– Remus had stayed behind to be sure Sirius didn't get lost once he got his fill. There is also a mirror, quite big, facing a plush seat where he could easily curl up and on it sits the small bag of make-up the girls assembled for his birthday last year.
“Why are there things for me too?” Regulus asks, exploring the other side with a slight frown and not touching anything. “Is this where you sleep?”
Sirius has no idea of what it is. He might have actually cracked his head open against the kitchen’s floor and is completely hallucinating.
“Yes,” he opts to say so Regulus might leave him alone about his sleeping pattern.
“You still lie like a three year old,” he snipes back and walks up to him with a curious look at the closet.
“Well I’m going to use this bed to sleep so.”
His brother doesn’t seem bothered when he closes the closet, pushing in whatever tissue tries to escape, and casts another look around the room. They don’t linger on the unfathomable window at the centre of the ceiling with a clear view of the starry sky.
“I have never heard of a room like this,” he mutters and checks on the fireplace. “Have you?”
“Nope. But I’m not going to complain.”
Regulus watches him bounce on the bed, perfectly soft without completely swallowing him. They startle at the slight vibration breaking the stone beside one of his posters to reveal another door. Sirius flourishes at him to open it as he straightens up. His brother slightly huffs but does walk up to it to creak the door open - he needs to lean a bit to see but Regulus quickly steps aside to offer a perfect view of a small bathroom.
“I think it’s for you.”
“I didn’t ask for it.”
“Well, this room is smart because I can say that you stink so you at least need it,” he replies with a pointed, haughty look, before tumbling once he catches the clock on the night table of his supposed bed. “I need to go back to my dorm.”
Sirius watches him but stays quiet. This often happens to them, losing words and any understanding, and he can’t recall when it started to be familiar.
“Don’t let Peeves or Filch get to you.”
Whatever this room is supposed to be or however it came to be is a mystery he can’t focus on as for now. The bed and the fireplace are lulling him into relaxing, almost whispering to him that no one he doesn’t want to see will show up. It’s still lacking the major part of his dorm: his roommates. Peter humming all the time in the bathroom, even when he brushes his teeth, with James twirling his wand between his fingers while he mumbles Quidditch strategies for next year– and Remus quietly reading with a small smile before glancing at Sirius, always when he turns the third page, to ask ‘alright, Pads?’.
“Sirius.”
He breathes through his nose but it doesn’t subdue the petals flourishing and ripping his throat apart. His bed is stained and ruined within a beat. Regulus is right there, roughly rubbing between his shoulder blades and a trembling hand treading through his greasy hair.
“I’m alright,” he coughs out and swipes his mouth against his hand. It’s a bright Gryffindor red.
“Ma-”
“Just go Reggie,” he grunts with a push. “Or do you bloody want to watch me shower too?”
His brother abruptly lets go and steps back with his eyes a towering grey storm. Nothing happens. The petals perfume the air and the blood sinks in the sheets while neither of them budge.
“There has to be a cure.”
“Don’t be daft,” he refutes and leaves the bed but the sheet disappears before he can drag them to the bathroom, leaving him only with the craving to shout and cry. “There is nothing to stop this.”
“I could obliviate you.”
“Reg-”
“I could take away all your memories and feelings of Lupin,” his brother affirms without one drop of emotion. “The flowers will disappear-”
“I will just fall back in love with him,” Sirius weakly argues and takes a deep breath at his stunned look. “And this won’t solve what I did so it’s worthless.”
Regulus must see the tears ready to spill since he awkwardly retreats, eyes going here and there with a swift check on him before dancing away. He must have heard him loud and clear because he walks to the single door to leave their made-up room. Just two puzzles smashed together without even checking on how many ways they can’t work together.
Sirius feels delirious at all the crying that escapes him.
“I meant what I said,” Regulus declares with only his back to him. “And whatever you did is not important to me.” He doesn’t walk out and barely appears to breathe. “Which means I won’t let you die, not for some stupid boy.”
The door closes quietly and the shower muffles everything that overflows. All is eaten down the drain as he tries to drown.
When Sirius drags himself out of the room, the fireplace has dimmed and Regulus’ favourite blanket is on his bed with a small slice of Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte with a dark cherry on top.
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youknowwho-mustnotbenamed · 1 month ago
Text
A Tragic Ending to a Tragic Story
A battle has waged itself in Regulus’ mind, weighing him down and tossing him to and fro in the throng of it. His heartbeat the war drums, his apprehensions the bullets, his resolve the trenches. It has been days since the first shot of hesitancy was fired, and the conflict only appears to be swelling. It plagues him more with each passing day, so much so that yesterday he was almost certain James could hear the cacophony in his head. He did not.
The only thing that disturbs him more than this cowardly inner turmoil, is how easily he managed to convince James this sudden bout of silence and reservation wasn’t a big of a deal as it truly is. That the stress of hiding himself is weighing down on him rather than his impending death. How is it, that after years of pushing to know every thought that passed through Regulus’ mind, James hasn’t batted an eye when he goes silent?
Part of him wants James to push. But that is a dangerous line to walk, and he will not risk James becoming aware of his plans. The more reasonable part of him is glad James is staying on the sidelines, waiting for Regulus to take the lead, to coach him, to tell him what to think, to do, to be. Because this war in his mind is reaching its crescendo now, the pivotal moment when things either go according to his well-laid plan, or come crashing down around him. It’s best that James is far away so he crumbling façade doesn’t crush him too.
Or he could just do the cowardly thing, and shy away from responsibility. He can keep James, and his life.
At the moment, that option is appearing far more appealing. James’ arm carelessly yet protectively thrown over his waist seems like an insurmountable obstacle. One he doesn’t even want to overcome. He can just stay here in the warm cocoon of James’ arms rather than surrendering his beating heart for a chill in his bones. Yet somehow, he surmounts his base desires. Slipping out from the warmth and reassurance. Slipping away from the promises he made. Slipping away into the darkness. Slipping away from an arm that instinctively curls around the warm spot Regulus once occupied. Slipping away like he was never there. By the time James wakes, that spot will have gone long cold. Cold with no beating heart to warm it again. Just a lonely ghost, reaching out to its lover with intangible hands.
But Regulus will easily bear that burden if it means James can free himself from this tangled web of darkness. It isn’t too late. Despite all of James’ veneration towards him, he can still get out. He has not yet fallen over the cliff, he can mend the fraying rope of his relationships, and they can pull him back to solid ground. He was foolish to try and keep James—the sun has no place in the night where cruel and dark things lurk. Whether he knew it or not, it was always going to end up here.
And he doesn’t even get to say goodbye.
But it’s okay. Because nobody knows what life would be like without the sun. He won’t be the reason everybody finds out, it’s just not a viable solution. The world won’t even notice his missing spot in the world, just like a star blipping out of existence. Before he does however, he will allow himself this one good thing. Burning bright before he is consumed whole, darkness and all.
When the voices ringing in the battle of his mind grappled for dominance, he had procured three letters. One to seek forgiveness, one to mend old scars, and one to instill unease. He spent hours pouring over each of them, anguishing over the words. It’s hard to say goodbye to your life before it’s really even begun. Regretfully, Sirius was right—he never did get to feel the sunrise, not truly.
The first letter, is more a collection. Snippets of verse and quotes and memories. Things to ease the hurt. To show he meant what he said—that he did want to start a life together, that he did finally find somebody to live for, that if things were different, they could have had it. Regulus hates to break promises, it’s rather an unfortunate stroke of circumstance that he made a promise to himself well before that to James. The promise to protect those in his heart, and seek vengeance against those who wish to cause them harm. That promise, proceeds all others, and that alone is what he seeks forgiveness for.
He leaves the letter on the kitchen counter, just next to the kettle. James always follows the same routine every morning. Wake up, set some tea to boil for Regulus, then head out for his morning run along the coast. When he emerges from his induce slumber, that routine will be derailed. Hopefully, James doesn’t derail along with it. Hopefully, James keeps his footing and moves forward.
The next letter, contains a part of him from the deepest crevices of his soul. A part of himself that he buried beneath a cage of ribs and cobwebs and dark magic and hurt. Behind all the things that made it easier to hate his brother rather than reconcile their wrongs. The letter is accompanied by a slender box. The box is deceptively small, but holds hundreds of letters. A thousand maybe. Letters that Regulus wrote, only to be intercepted before they reached the eyes of the addressee. Maybe, just maybe, they will be enough to behind to mend the resentment he is certain was sowed back in ’71. Maybe he can undo the damage their Mother caused. Maybe... maybe he can be Sirius’ brother again.
Knowing Sirius, however, his brother won’t take the news genuinely, not until the account of his death has reached the Order. He will ignore the letter, or use it as evidence of Regulus’ ‘contempt against him’. Either way, Regulus tried, in the best way he knows how to.
The last letter, was something he struggled for an embarrassing amount of time for a mere three sentences. But he isn’t a Black for nothing, he could hardly go to his death without at least a little histrionics. He folds the letter and tucks it inside the decoy locket, which he tucks securely in his breast pocket.  
Once the apology, reconciliation, and antics are dealt with, he heads to the beach. He just wants one last moment to feel alive before becoming a hollow shell. He knows what waits for him in that cave, and dying is the least worrying of the outcomes. Realistically, the inferi will sink their magic-ridden claws into him, and he will once again be a mindless servant of the Dark Lord, dragging down anybody who tries following in his traitorous footsteps. Merlin, he hopes James gets the message and stays away, he can’t imagine killing his lover, especially not even being himself.
Morbidly, he hopes the water does him in. At least then, he won’t be trapped in a corpse for eternity. He would be free, a servant no longer. Besides, he’s always found water soothing, and after moving to the coast, that feeling has only amplified. He finds a kinship with the water—always underestimated, yet perfectly capable of being deadly.
Each crashing wave is a thundering heartbeat, driving him closer to the rocky shore littered with masks of his previous lives. Lives that were not his, lives that he had to live in to protect the fragile inner self. He is but a China doll, covered in chips and cracks, each revealing more of his weakly beating soul.
Soul is a bit lackluster. It’s his conscience, his life, his animus, his vivacity, his individuality, his reason for being. Trust humans to put such an uninspired word to such singularity. Trust them to dumb it down, to make it less than it is so they don’t scare anybody with the true scope of it all.
Before he loses his nerve, he apparates.
The ground he lands on is slick. Only seconds after landing—and barely catching his balance—he hears the cracking sound of water against rock, and a deluge washes over him, knocking him fully to the ground. His shoulder is driven into the jagged rock below him, the rest of his body slammed down atop it. He only just catches himself from being hauled into the turbulent sea by a fingernail. Just the edge of it snags on the rock. It tears bloodily from his finger, but it slows him just enough to get a proper grip on the wet rock, and heave himself back onto semi-safe ground.
Breath heaving in his chest, Regulus turns his eyes upward, blinking away water. There, in the distance, rises the sheer cliff the cave is carved from. The heavy mists shrouding the full thing from sight do it no justice. But even then, it is nowhere as daunting as Kreacher had made it out to be. The place just looks… sad. Sad and forgotten, waves pounding against a forlorn cliff as his heart claws at his chest. Him and the ocean, one and the same. Him and the ocean, hiding secrets in icy depths.
He fights the wind and the sea for balance, searching for something to transfigure a boat out of. Kreacher mentioned a rock nearby Riddle created a raft out of, so hopefully after returning to this spot, he canceled the spell, leaving the rock behind. The water is hardly tame enough for a boat, but it is his only viable option. There is no magic inside the cave—Kreacher mentioned feeling completely cut off from everything, “like some muggle creature no doubt”—but if Riddle’s boat held, so will Regulus’.
With a deep well of magic at his fingertips, the boat is easily transfigured from a boulder nearby. The thought has barely formed in his mind before the boat is materialized on the surface, rocking and dipping with the waves as any boat should. He climbs aboard, and another wandless spell has the boat silently propelling forward, urged on by oars handled by his magic.
If possible, darkness falls further upon passing through the cave’s threshold. Even worse, Regulus physically feels the stripping of his magic. An almost painful tear. His is more than disconnected, he is weak, his is vulnerable. Everything that gave him power, everything that kept him safe, it’s gone. It’s hardly significant in the moment, but he also notices the glamor—that always stuck close by in case of emergency—is no longer at his whims.
The oars fall limp at the sides of the boat, momentum allowing him to drift a few more feet before coming to a slow halt. Even the churning waves outside appear to be quieted, the sound muffled by the magical barrier. All he can hear is the gentle slosh of water against the hull of the boat and sides of the cave; his heavy breathing; and a faint crackle of dark magic in the air.
In what must be the middle of the cave, there is a small rock island with a pedestal. Hovering above it, is a glowing green orb, casting a haunting glow over the island and the surrounding water. It seems to both be calling him forward, and urging him away at the same time. Come, have a drink. Come, see what secrets I hold. Turn away, darkness awaits you. Turn away, there is nothing of interest here. Come, untold power at your fingertips. Turn away, turn away, come closer, turn away, come closer, come closer…
Regulus seizes the oars, and makes the slow journey toward the island.
As he climbs out of the boat, pale hands rise to the surface of the water, sending gentle ripples across the smooth surface. They tease him, drawing tantalizingly close before withdrawing back into the safety of the water once more. Inferi. Regulus knows. Voldemort himself boasted of his ability to curse a hundred dead muggles. Muggles, who were worthless to do anything other than protect a part of his soul. Inferior unless given one set goal to achieve, and limitless ability to do so. Regulus had pointed out any sane witch or wizard would use magic to defeat them, or could wait it out on the island and send out a patronus for somebody to come to their aid. Voldemort then countered with the use of the potion, and a magic-dampener and anti-apparition wards around the cave. In the end, Regulus had driven the nails into his own coffin.
The pedestal sits in the middle of the island, with a crudely carved stone basin resting atop. Resting at the base of what appears to be the water-filled vessel, is a locket. Surprisingly unremarkable and plain compared to the jewelry he grew up with, Salazar’s locket has been besmirched in the name of the Dark Lord. Once a sign of the great founder’s magic, it is now used to store a fragment of a dark wizard’s soul. Such a mockery. Such a waste.
Sitting beside the basin, is a small pewter goblet. Inscribed in the base of the cup are the words, “bibere si audes”. Riddle is practically telling those exactly how to go after the horcrux, giving them a step-by-step guide and leaving it practically in the open. For what gain?
His hands betray his confidence as he shakily raises the first goblet full of potion to his lips. But there, just before the first drop hits his tongue, he hesitates. Knowing exactly how this goes doesn’t help. Knowing what unforgiving and unyielding pain will soon tear through his body makes him that much more apprehensive to take that first sip.
At least until his mind does cruel things, and summons images of James. James in this dark cave, raising a goblet to his lips. James collapsing to the rocky shore and grasping toward the water holding those cursed muggles. James, dying. James, in pain. James, corrupted and killed by him. James… James… James…
That’s enough to force the first sip. From there, he is certain of only one thing. The raging inferno rising inside him to combat the crushing waves of his heartbeat. Fire and water, clashing until a smoke rises in his throat and clogs his lungs. He needs to breathe; he needs to clear this soot from his mouth, he needs… water!
He scrambles for the waterside, only to trip back at the sight of pale fingers with dagger-like nails. No, he must bear it. He is not a Black for nothing. He took the Dark Mark at seventeen. He bore the pain then, he didn’t give into the creeping black edge of pain, he will no do so now. So, he summons all his wavering courage, and stumbles back to the pedestal for another damning drought. And another. And another.
“REGULUS!” James’ voice echoes through the cave, tearing him away from his singular focus of clearing the last drops of the potion. He is almost there; he can almost get the locket. He can almost give James and his brother a shot at living. He can almost… but James is here, and screaming his name. “REGULUS! HELP ME! REGULUS!”
No, it’s too early. The potion shouldn’t have worn off yet, James should still be sound asleep in bed, none the wiser to Regulus’ absence. He was supposed to have time. He was supposed to do this properly, and not have to stick around and face the consequences. He wanted to do one good, selfless thing without being pulled away from it. This was supposed to be just his, and it was supposed to keep James far away. How did he even find the cave? Regulus purposefully kept that information to himself, so this exact thing wouldn’t happen—James’ too-good-bravery stepping in to sacrifice himself.
James is crawling up the rocky shore, deep bloody gouges crisscrossing his body. Bloody claws gripping at his skin, both looking like they are tearing him apart, and dragging him down to a watery grave. His trademark lopsided grin is replaced, twisted into a grotesque scream, eyes bright with terror.
“JAMES!” He tries flinging his magic out, magic he knows and relies. But nothing happens, and the inferi drag James further away from him. “I told you not to leave me.” James pouts before he is dragged fully underwater.
He gets to the waterline too late. James is gone, and all that is waiting for him are clawing hands and death. At least now, he won’t be leaving anybody behind. But James, why did you do this? Why did you come here? Why didn’t you give up on me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
“I thought you were better than this, Regine.” Regulus half turns to see Sirius standing over him, dressed like everything he ever fought against, disapproving look cast upon him.
He is shrinking. Shrinking until he is just another rock littering the shore. Shrinking until there is nothing left of him. Because what is he really? A fraud of a girl. A fraud of a boy. A fraud of a brother. A fraud of a lover. He’s spent so long wearing masks, he doesn’t know who he is. And he’s going to die like that. Die without knowing who he is in the center of his being.
“Look at you.” Sirius spits. “Making an embarrassment of this family.”
“Siri?”
Sirius scoffs. “Acting like a child. No wonder I left you behind.” He cocks his head, hair falling from the intricate bun to fall around his face. He’s now wearing his typical garb—ratty muggle band tee, leather jacket, and ripped jeans. Even his voice changes, now dripping with desperation. “I thought you wanted to leave, Reggie? I thought…” He sighs, resignation in his tone. “I guess Mother was right about you all along. You really are her child.”
“You said you trusted us.” Dorcas laments.
“You promised you would heed my warning.” Pandora chastises.
“I thought we were in this together, Reg.” Barty mourns.
“So much for promises.” Evan spits.
“And here I thought you were as brave as your brother.” Remus accuses.
“You couldn’t save me.”
“I’m glad I left.”
“Why do you never listen?”
“So much for friendship.”
His friends circle around him. Voices heckle him, drawing closer and closer, pressing in on all sides. They overlap, they rise and fall in waves, each washing over him with a painful blow. He is too big for his body now, a body that is battered with hurt and sliced with malevolent words. He just wants this to be over. He wants the voices to stop pestering him, he just wants silence. He wants to lay in bed with James. He wants to laugh with his brother. He wants his friends to make-light hearted fun of him. He wants to be a normal teenager. He wants. He wants. He wants. He wants so much, and he will never get it because of the inferno in his chest, and the promise he will die keeping.
But he will not die before keeping it.
So, he pushes passed his friends, a solid barrier that keeps morphing and twisting to keep him away from the pedestal, to push him toward the water. But he won’t allow them, because he is doing this for them. He is giving them their future, where they can be teenagers, then adults, then grow old together. He is doing this so they can be normal. It has to be this way, because he is the only one the world won’t miss. It has to be him burning up and drowning and suffocating. It has to be him, the heart of the lion, finally slain by Hercules fulfilling his final labor. A brave act, that requires his life as forfeit.
The last sip, is surprisingly mellow.
He ignores the slight disappointment, and scoops up the locket. Even without magic in this cave, the locket itself hums with power. Maybe he can leave. Maybe he can escape this cave in one piece, he can return to his life, and start living it right. But first… he places the decoy locket, and watches in awe as the potion fills back up to the top, goblet up righting itself everything as it was when he first arrived.
Well, almost.
Regulus spins back, only to find the boat being upended by gnarled pale bodies. While a swarm of them capsizes the boat, even more are coming for him. Their grotesque bodies tangling together as they clamber toward him. On all sides, they cover every surface of the rock, a flowing wave of bodies, hungry for him. His blood, his lifeforce, his magic. They will consume it, use every part of his being, and only get stronger for the next fool to enter the cave.
“Kreacher!” The house elf does not appear. This isn’t good. His whole plan banked on the loyal elf and him being able to hear him through the magical buffer. He knew from the beginning he wasn’t getting off the island alive, let alone out of the cave. He also knew he would have to get the horcrux out somehow, and Kreacher was his means of doing so. “KREACHER! I COMMAND YOU!”
The bodies are closer now, about halfway up the small island. Just two more body lengths and they will be upon him.
“KRE—”
“Kreacher is here, Mistress Régine.”
Regulus clenches his teeth at the misnomer, but doesn't correct the elf. There is hardly the time for such concerns, not when death and failure are so close to fumbling out of his grasp. “Take this. Bring it to James, he knows how to destroy it.”
“Kreacher doesn’t like Mr. Potter.”
���I don’t care. Bring it to him. Do you understand, this is important. I command you to bring it to James Potter. Then, you will do whatever he requires of you.”
“…Yes Mistress Régine.”
“Good. Go.”
A loud crack, and Regulus is alone once again. Alone, a cadaver, just moments away from its final breaths. So cold, and so hot. Even in his final moments, his body cannot settle to give him a moment of peace. Always in turmoil, like the undulating sea. He is more the sea than he originally thought. Many names, many appearances, many temperaments. Always underestimated, always deadly. Never forgiven.
Claws close around his ankles, dragging him down. His knee collides with the rock. The claws dig in, straight to the bone. They dig in hard and start tearing. The agony is worse than before. Curse magic delivered directly into his bloodstream, killing him, removing him, turning him into something else.
His body hits the glacial water. His screams muted by the water, heard by none but his fellow cursed. Water rushes into his body, and the inferno finally quiets. The claws drag him further into the depths. Slimy limbs pressing against him on all sides, until they finally shove him against the rocky lake-bed, and rise around him, leaving him alone at the bottom.
Alone to let the water invade.
Alone to die.
Alone, he never wanted to be alone. But in pushing everybody away, what else should he have expected?
Alone.
Alone and dying.
Alone.
Alone.
A hollow husk of a lonely boy, drowning.
I’m sorry, Sirius. I’m sorry I didn’t follow you sooner.
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princeblack · 8 months ago
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she looks up at him with loving eyes, the most beautiful shade of blue he’s ever seen. it feels like a gift that no one in this world could possibly deserve, even him. but he wants to deserve her; to take care of her and give her the home she needs. it was clear she didn’t have one from her family, who were all too eager to be cruel to her. how anyone could hurt such a soft girl was something he would never understand, but just the thought of it made his stomach churn with a mixture of sadness and raw anger.
even if it’s true that the comet was always meant to arrive again on the day it did, it still feels like destiny in some sense. does it mean they were born to be together, set on this path by the cosmos before they even existed?
it touches his heart, knowing that his love wants to marry him so soon, not caring for formality because she wants him. it would have been blasphemous when he was alive to even consider such a thing, but it seems everything about regulus’s life is blasphemy now and he’s already happier this way.
it helps that the girl in his arms is beautiful and soft, melting into his chest, grasping at his shirt. slowly stroking his fingers through strands of her dark hair, he places a gentle kiss to her forehead, nodding. he wants to be with her forever and feel her warm body curled against his chest just like this. he always expected he would have to learn to love whatever marriage he was appointed by his parents, never quite expecting to marry for love. his parents didn’t work in such a way; wouldn’t abide by that decision for their family.
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but now they’re dead and gone and he’s safe, tucked in salem’s bed and being warmed by her love as she speaks to him in a soft tone, pondering how his voice sounds. he allows himself to imagine it; getting to speak to her finally, holding the conversations they could only have in dreams. maybe they could, if he finished whatever spell his mother started. maybe the Horned One could fix it all, completing whatever was happening to his new body. maybe a sacrifice on his altar would be all it would take.
regulus can’t feel his magic; like he’s blocked, or it’s missing somehow. maybe with a reconnection, he could fix this. his body doesn’t hold the humming power of it anymore– all he can feel is his psychic link to salem, which seems like it’s getting stronger by the minute.
he smiles against her lips when she steals another kiss before lowering her head to snuggle against him again. he can tell she’s done crying because her breathing slows, tucked against his body as she seems to fall asleep. one hand is on top of hers and the other is on her waist, hugging her gently.
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he sighs in contentment, staying still for a long while, enjoying her nearness and the way she breathes. her warm cheek is pressed against his bare chest, making him feel good in a way he never anticipated. he knew he loved her, but he never expected he would get to cuddle so soon after showing up at her house. at most, he’d hoped she wouldn’t be afraid of repulsed.
but salem is kind– gentle with him, so caring and eager to love him. and now she’s asleep, her breath soft as she snoozes against him. she’s so cute and small that he doesn’t want to wake her, but over an hour passes and there’s something restless in him. maybe it has something to do with being dead for so long, but regulus isn’t an expert in the subject.
so he carefully shifts her off of him and onto her pillow for now, and luckily she only stirs a bit. he smiles to himself because she’s so cute, especially with her dark hair splayed across the pillow and her thick lashes fanning out across her cheeks, completely still as she sleeps.
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slipping out of bed, he wanders her room in the dark, starting to take a look at everything in detail. he examines her dresser, running his fingers across the wooden surface, admiring how different it is from an armoire from his time. green eyes fall on the posters covering her walls, trying to decipher the images even though he has no idea what they mean. maybe some of them have something to do with these modern plays she spoke of– movies. he can tell it’s art, even though he doesn’t quite understand it yet.
but then he finds the corner with ‘real’ art; art that’s familiar to him. it looks like a space where she often draws, her sketchbooks and pencils scattered across the desk. pinned to the wall are various pieces of art, ones created by salem. he recognizes her unique style; beautiful and gothic, depicting darker elements than most would typically illustrate. but what catches his attention is the collection of drawings that look exactly like him, making him pause. leaning in, he takes a look at one, realizing he’s wearing the vest in it that he wore before he died. it must mean she really did see him in her dreams, then. he remembers them, even if it’s foggy in the same way being dead feels like a dream. a long, bizarre dream that only became more pleasant when her warmth had flooded into it, occupying his very soul.
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the way she draws him is beautiful, sketching out his dark hair and pointed nose. it’s not as if he doesn’t know he’s handsome, but it still flatters him to see that salem seems to think so too. it’s as if each line was placed carefully, with love or even admiration. there are more drawings, all beautiful. seeing them makes him flush a little, just imagining salem drawing him with such care. 
he glances back at where she’s sleeping, curled up on her bed. suddenly missing her, he returns, sliding under the sheets to tuck against her body, positioning himself as her big spoon. his arm goes around her middle, tugging her gently against his body, her back pressed to his chest. he buries his nose in her hair. she smells good, like lavender and clean fabric, so he sniffs again. snuggling into her, he hugs her middle tightly, almost possessively. thoughts of her art of him float through his mind, wondering how she felt when she illustrated them.
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she wonders what her life would've been like if he was born in her time, if their love would grow sooner than later and they could start a life together. sure, she's only eighteen and not done with school just yet but with regulus by her side it all seemed taken care of. maybe she wouldn't be as messed up as she was, to have stability and a man that loved her and regulus black loved her, making her feel comfortable and safe in his embrace.
that's why she can never leave him on his own, regulus was like finding something precious that you lock away in a box for safe keeping, so fragile and elegant, beautiful art created just for her to enjoy and she would be damned if anyone ever took that away from her but how did she fight back against her parents who wanted to send her away? she could run away but neither of them had the money or resources to survive on their own, regulus's body was still adapting to being functional and part of her didn't really wanna leave lacy behind...they could also kill them, if they wanted. that's what they need to do to help regulus isn't it? but she's never killed before she wouldn't know what to do without his love, or his warmth. he was her reason for living.
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her tears eventually stop, being wrapped into him becoming too comforting to feel as sad and as scared as she did before, a soft smile pulling at her lips as she peers up at him with a loving gaze she's never had before. he was an angel sent from heaven to grace her with his love, his beautiful defined face and green eyes looking back at her as if he feels the same as she does. "I'm happy that comet chose my life time for you to be in....I never really believed in fate before but with you it's hard to deny." she smiles sadly, fingers brushing against his shirt. "I wanna marry you tomorrow, let's not wait...we don't need fancy rings or anything I just want you to be my husband." she smiles softly, she didn't need traditional bullshit, she just wanted to be his wife, make love to him the way he deserves.
"I wish you could talk and I could hear your lovely voice...at least I'm sure it's lovely because a pretty face like that has got to have a sexy voice to match." she remembers talking to him in her dreams but she couldn't quite remember what he sounded like, the memory is blurrry now but she has a feeling it sounds beautiful and soft, smart...she nuzzles her face against his but before she can say anything else hes capturing her lips with his own, kissing for a moment before kissing her cheeks as well as if to dry the tears and salem smiles, a soft giggle leaving her because it tickles a little.
she steals one last kiss before moving back against the warmth of his chest, nuzzling her face closer as she smiles. it's soothing and she starts to feel a bit tired as her eyes flutter closed, she doesn't even mean to fall asleep when she does, her eyes had just gone heavy, curling up to him peacefully as she sleeps throughout the night.
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messers-moony · 3 years ago
Text
Nothing Left | R.B
Paring: Regulus Black X Wife!Gryffindor!Reader
Summary: Everything crashes within seconds and Sirius doesn’t know where to go. 
Everything went downhill so fucking fast. How was that even possible? Everything was perfectly fine a year ago, but it seems that within that year, everything had collapsed onto the helpless boy. It was like being beneath a crumbling concrete tower that fell with no warning. Like being slapped in the face unexpectedly. Like getting doused in freezing water on a Sunday morning. 
In retrospect, it sucked. 
Sirius Black would know first hand. His entire life had been a screw-up from the beginning. It started with his parents, who - at the start - loved him. But when he turned out to be the child they never wanted all that love had vanished. They tortured him, broke him piece by piece, they built up trauma that took years for him to express to his friends. It wasn’t until third year when they heard him crying alone in his four-poster bed and asked what was wrong. He could remember the comforting embrace James Potter had given him. 
Nevertheless, it never ended there. The summer going into his sixth year, Sirius decided it was enough after too many Cruciatus Curses and body binding curses; enough was enough. His hands were trembling after enduring just ten minutes of the torture curse, and it was a struggle, but he packed everything he could. His heart broke at inevitably leaving his little brother behind. He could only hope that Regulus would understand. 
It took a Knight Bus trip to the Potter residence in Godric’s Hollow. The sky could’ve resembled how Sirius felt. Back at Grimmauld Place Twelve, the sky was always cloudy and rainy. Godric’s Hollow allowed the sun to shine past the fluffy clouds, but tonight was different. The sky was dark and thick, black clouds covered the stars. Rain poured from them, and it pittered on the stone roads. Sirius was instantly drenched when he stepped off the Knight Bus. 
Hesitantly he made his way to the door, where he knocked softly. The house was two stories and was a relatively big family home - not bigger than Grimmauld Place - but an average family home. The house was a mixture of grey, dark purples, and brown. It reminded Sirius of Remus’ patched jumpers. Sirius could hear movement from behind the plum door, and it opened to reveal a familiar face. James Potter with his messy hair, hazel eyes, and long limbs. James was muscular, but he was also tall, not Remus tall but taller than Sirius. 
James didn’t speak and ushered him inside. The following morning at breakfast, Euphemia - Mrs. Potter - had given Sirius the excellent news of his new forever home. The Potters would never forget the way Sirius lit up and how a smile had taken over his face. Sirius didn’t remember being this happy except for when Regulus was born. 
But his forever home was not forever. 
In seventh year, James’ parents had died, and nobody had comforted Sirius except one person who attempted. James had Lily, and that was enough for him. Perhaps it was selfish to think that James should be comforting him. It was definitely selfish. Sirius was doing really good at hiding how he felt until he crumbled behind a tapestry near the dungeons. 
Sirius didn’t know if it was good or bad luck that Regulus - his prefect Slytherin brother - had found him behind that tapestry. Regulus had pulled back the fabric slowly with his wand lit. His face had softened at his older brother sobbing with his knees to his chest. Regulus allowed his wand light to extinguish before sitting in front of him in the same position, allowing their socks to touch at the tips. 
They sat there for a couple of minutes before Regulus moved closer, albeit hesitantly to sit beside Sirius. Regulus had his back against the concrete, and Sirius curled up onto him while the younger Black brother rubbed his older brother's back. Sirius cried harder and harder. It took an hour before he subdued to sniffles and whimpers, but Regulus took it as his time to speak. 
“I know they meant a lot to you,” Regulus stated, still rubbing his older brothers back, “And I don’t blame you for grieving them.”
Sirius sniffled, “I ought to be grateful for them, really.” Regulus released a sound that sounded like a chuckle, but it was so foreign to Sirius he couldn’t tell, “They kept you safe. Kept you away from mother and father. They gave you a home where you could finally be you.”
“And no matter how mad I want to be at them for taking you away from me,” Regulus admitted, “I just can’t be because they gave you everything you wanted, and I’ve never seen you happier in my life.”
Regulus didn’t stop talking, “You know… I- I found my own James Potter.”
Sirius looked up at Regulus with flushed cheeks, but his facial expression was baffled, and Regulus presented him with a small smile, “Okay, maybe she isn’t my ‘James Potter’ per se because I don’t see her as a sister but rather she’s my girlfriend.”
“What’s- What’s her name?” Sirius croaked; his throat was so raw from crying. 
“Y/n L/n.”
“A- A Gryffindor?”
Regulus made that sound again, “Yeah. A stupidly brave one too. Even worse.”
Sirius smiled, “I know her.”
“Don’t tell me she was one of your conquests.” Regulus grimaced, and Sirius chuckled, snuggling back into Regulus’ chest, “No, she wasn’t. It turns out she has the hots for the other Black brother.”
Regulus smiled, and they allowed the silence of the castle to consume them. It was dark in the corridor on the other side of the tapestry, and Regulus could see the faint moonlight peaking out. He could also imagine the stars glittering beautifully in the midnight sky. He could see the star Sirius shining brighter than ever, and he just wanted his brother to feel the same. 
“I plan to marry her.” Regulus said before he could stop the words from falling from his mouth.
“What happens then?”
“What do you mean?”
“Mother and father will never approve.”
Regulus scoffed, “I’m done with their bullshit and have been for quite a while.”
Sirius met his brother's eyes again, “I left right after you. It turns out there is no more heir to the Black family name.”
The older Black brother smiled brightly and tightened his grip on his younger brother. Regulus couldn’t remember feeling this warm since they were little boys running around the backyard. Sirius was practically on top of him, and that was okay. For now, everything seemed okay again. Maybe Euphemia and Fleamont were gone, but even in their deaths, they managed to benefit Sirius’ life. 
Now it all seemed fruitless. 
Only a couple of months later, Sirius and Regulus had gotten into a huge kerfuffle. It ended with screaming, raw throats, tears, and flushed cheeks. Sirius could remember how Regulus playfully mocked his and Remus’ relationship. He didn’t know exactly what happened, just that he was pouncing for his little brother, and Remus was holding him back. Sirius had yelled some very awful things that he couldn’t take back. 
She hadn’t done anything. She didn’t even know that an argument had happened. Y/n had been reading in the common room when the book was flung out of her hand, and she was pushed against the stone wall of the Gryffindor Tower. Y/n met eyes with stormy grey ones, not unlike her lovers, but these weren’t her lovers. These were his elder brother's eyes, and he had lifted her off the floor against the wall until James had pulled Sirius off her. 
Y/n hit the floor with a thud and repeatedly coughed, hands on her throat. James had stormed into the boy's dormitory with Sirius with him. She didn’t even understand what was happening not until she met up with Regulus in the prefect dorm, and he saw the marks on her neck. Sirius had taken it too far, and Regulus was furious. They were no longer on speaking terms. 
Now Sirius had someone entirely different to grieve. 
Sirius had felt like his heart hit the floor when he was forced to move out of James’ house with Lily due to Harry being born. Remus had moved away to take care of his sick mother and asked for privacy. The funds that had previously been in Sirius’ account had been squandered, and now he was paying the price. 
He had absolutely nowhere to go. Truthfully, there was one place he could go, but he didn’t think he’d ever be accepted there. He had said unforgivable things, but James had given him enough confidence that it would be okay. Reluctantly, Sirius Black took the Knight Bus to the suburbs in London. The community felt so modern and new. It was different then Godric’s Hollow which had been around for so many years that it began to weather and erode. 
The deja vu was hitting him like a brick. Their house was a mixture of grey, black, white, and maybe blue - Sirius couldn’t tell in the darkness if it was white or pale blue. Perhaps he’d find out tomorrow if he was even welcomed inside. Sighing and shivering, Sirius knocked on the door. He could hear little squeals of delight that sounded much like a child. He also heard talking, but he froze when the door opened. 
Regulus Black, at the age of twenty-two, looked good. His hair was to his jaw, and it was wavy at the ends, whereas Sirius’ was much more straight. His eyes had turned silver over the years. His cheeks looked much fuller, and he looked a lot better. Regulus was no longer looked underweight, but he was still slim and skinny. Black family genes, Sirius supposed. Sirius couldn’t meet his brother's eyes. 
“What do you want, Sirius.” 
His name falling from Regulus’ mouth instead of a nickname hurt more than he expected, “I had nowhere else to go…”
Regulus scoffed, “James finally kick you out, eh?”
“Yeah, he did.” Sirius sounded so distant, “Perhaps it was about time, and here I am, at your doorstep.”
“Come on, Sirius.” Regulus motioned for him to come in, and Sirius did. 
The house was much cozier inside. The floors were dark wood, almost black. The living room - on Sirius’ left - was a darker turquoise color with grey furniture. The dining room - on Sirius’ right - was a light grey. The furniture was a marble table, white wood chairs with cushions, and a beautiful light fixture. Regulus led him to the kitchen, which was straight ahead in the hallway. 
It was a beautiful mint green color with black and white furniture. The appliances were primarily black and the furniture primarily white, but regardless, it was beautiful. They had another table in the kitchen that was a grey wood instead of the shiny marble in the dining room but nevertheless screamed elegance. Sirius sat at one of the barstools at the L of the counter. Regulus slid him a cup of tea. 
“Your house is beautiful.” Sirius complimented, and Regulus placed the cup back into the saucer, “Thank you. My wife picked everything out for the most part. I either built it or painted it.” Regulus smiled. 
“Your wife?”
Regulus hummed, “Y/n Black. Ring any bells?”
Sirius swallowed, “Yeah.”
They both took a sip of tea, “I have two kids too. Both boys.”
“Two?!“ Sirius nearly spat out the liquid he had just taken a sip of. 
“Twins. Fraternal, thankfully.”
He placed the cup down, “What’re their names?“
“Perseus Regulus Black and Leo Alphard Black.”
“Perseus and Leo, huh?“
Regulus blushed, “It wasn’t my idea. It was Y/n’s.”
“I like them,” Regulus looked up at him, “The names. I’m sure they fit them too.”
“Thanks.”
It wasn’t long until footsteps began to echo coming down the steps. Y/n had grown up too. Her face was sharper and her curves more defined. If Sirius was honest, she didn’t look like she had kids at all. To be fair, he wasn’t really staring at Y/n but more so his brother. Regulus had a starstruck expression as his wife walked towards him. He had a dopey smile on his face and stars in his eyes. Regulus really loved her, and Sirius could tell, hell, anyone could. 
Y/n stopped in her tracks at seeing Sirius, “What’s he doing here?” 
Regulus placed an arm around her waist, “He came looking for a place to stay. While I was waiting for you, I decided to catch up with him for a little.”
Sirius looked guilty, “Ultimately, I’m leaving this decision up to you.” 
Y/n sighed and looked at both brothers. She thought of what he did back at Hogwarts. She thought of how Regulus had cried and ached for his brother, wishing for their relationship to be back the way it was. She thought of her two children who always asked about their Uncle Sirius, who was never around. 
“Sirius,” Y/n began, and Sirius held his breath, “Where will you go if I were to say no?”
Sirius looked at his lap, “The streets.”
He couldn’t hear the footsteps that approached him until soft hands lifted his head where he met soft e/c eyes, “I’m willing to look past everything that happened at Hogwarts for the sake of my children. They deserve their uncle. But I need you to show me that I can trust you and that you won’t cause trouble.”
“I’ll do anything.” Sirius complied, and Regulus smirked, “Don’t say that. She’ll have you remodel something.”
“You’re an asshole.” Y/n whirled, and Regulus continued to smirk, “I told you to use magic, and you said we should do it the Muggle way.”
He shrugged, “We got good memories out of doing it the Muggle way.”
“If getting paint all over me counts as good memories, then sure.”
“It does.” Regulus smiled, “Your face was priceless.”
“Dickhead.” She muttered. 
Sirius grinned, “Well, Sirius. If Y/n lets you stay, then you’re welcome here. What I did back at Hogwarts was uncalled for, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mocked you and Remus.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is.” Regulus countered solemnly, “Had I not done that; then we could’ve had a better relationship. For that, I’m sorry.”
Sirius stood up and hugged Regulus tight, “New beginnings?”
“New beginnings.” Regulus smiled. 
Regulus led Sirius up the wooden stairs up to the second story. It seemed to have had four bedrooms and two bathrooms, one in the master bedroom, one in the hallway, not including the one downstairs. On the end of the left side was a door leading to the master bedroom. On the right end was a cabinet and two doors across from one another. Then in the middle of the back was a door leading to another bedroom which Regulus had opened. 
The bedroom was spotless and beautiful. It was painted a grey with purple undertone with a queen-sized bed. Most of the furniture was white, and the bedding was black. Sirius had brought his trunk to its normal size and placed it at the end of the bed. Regulus smiled as Sirius looked around. 
“This is yours for as long as you want it.” Regulus stated softly snd Sirius had tears in his eyes, “Thank you.”
Sirius hugged his brother again, “I really mean it, thank you.”
“I love you, Sirius.” Regulus confessed, “You’ll always be my brother. The one who held me during thunderstorms. The one who sewed up my teddy bear when it had gotten ripped. The one who took the blame so I wouldn’t get punished.”
Sirius was gripping the back of his shirt tightly, “That stuff doesn’t just go away.”
They parted, and Regulus smiled, “Get some sleep. I’m sure you’d like to see the boys tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah. I’d like to meet my nephews.” Sirius admitted smiling brightly. 
“Get some sleep, Siri.” 
“You too, Reggie.”
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fandomlovingfreak · 3 years ago
Text
Glacial Passion (3/?)
Regulus Black/Reader
Rating: Lemon, 18+
Trigger Warning: Arranged Marriage, talk of potential pregnancy
Word Count: 2461
MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link
Summary: Glacial, cold, icy… all words that described Regulus Black’s grey eyes. Was there truly no emotion behind those eyes, or did a caring man exist beneath? Could she defrost those glacial eyes?
Disclaimer: Regulus Black (Walburga Black, Orion Black, and Sirius Black) is a character from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. Reader or y/n is not owned by Rowling. This work has not been created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.
Notes: Chapter three! I thought this entire fic would be around three chapters, but we're not even close to done yet!
Enjoy
The guest room isn't so bad. He becomes very acquainted with the unused room as his wife had elected to ignore him for the foreseeable future.
After the fourth night that he'd slept and attended meals with his parents without (y/n), Walburga brings up the absence of his wife in her own  special way . "You cannot sleep in a different room than your wife."
Regulus holds back from rolling his eyes, "you and father do not share a bedroom."
Walburga's ever-present frown deepens, "We already have a son."
Even after all these years, he hates that she pretends Sirius never existed.
"So this is about sex," he wipes his mouth with his napkin.
"It is."
"These things don't happen overnight."
"They don't happen if you do not participate in the happening," Walburga taps her manicured fingernails on the table. 
"What do you want me to do? I can't force her to sleep with me." Besides, if they did continue to have sex, he will unquestionably use contraceptive charms to ensure his wife did not conceive. 
Walburga studies his face, "If you do not try, you will not see success."
In an attempt to change the subject, he blurts out, "She is miserable here--"
"She will be content soon. Once she has the first child."
Orion takes this opportunity to speak up, "possibly you should take your new wife out of the country."
"Out of the country?" Regulus frowns.
"Take her out of this house on your honeymoon. Maybe visit Paris. It couldn't hurt after the past few days."
Honeymoon... he was hoping that he could avoid taking (y/n) on one of those. But, if Orion thinks this could make (y/n) happy... well, he supposes he can sacrifice the time.
***
Walburga catches him before he can make his way out of the dining room. 
"You must not cast those charms any longer."
Regulus would rather his mother not tell him he can and cannot use contraceptives... 
"Who says I did?"
Walburga squints angrily, "Next time you do your duty as the next Master of the house, make sure you give your seed time to take hold within your wife."
He draws his lips into a tight line, turning to leave the conversation before it became any more invasive.
No promises would be made to his mother or anyone else over the use of contraceptive charm. There was no need for a child in this present time. Things of that nature could wait.
***
"What are you doing here?" (y/n) asks when he walks into their shared bedroom.
"It's nice to see you too, wife."
She rolls her eyes, turning back to her novel.
"You were not at dinner tonight." Regulus unbuttons the top of his shirt.
"I wasn't hungry," she says without looking up from the book.
Regulus continues to undress, removing the cufflinks from his dress shirt. 
"Mother was wondering where you were."
"I'm sure she was."
He watches her for a moment. "We will be leaving soon."
(y/n) looks at him confused, "Who will?"
"You and I."
"Leaving where?"
"On our... honeymoon."
"What do you mean?"
Regulus bites the inside of his cheek, "I'm taking you to Paris on our honeymoon."
"Honeymoon..." (y/n) looks like she's contemplating giving him a  flat-out   no.
"I can tell you are tired of the house. The apartments I've secured are much  lighter  than Grimmauld Place. Moreover, it has an excellent view of the city."
"I don't know..."
Regulus steps forwards, taking her hand in his. "Just spare two weeks at the least." The pad of his thumb rubs underneath the ring on her left hand. He's secretly pleased to see she has not taken it off despite the state of their relationship currently.
"Regulus," (y/n) tries to move away from him.
"Please," he breathes out the word, "please, I'm trying."
(y/n) analyzes his face, "what would we do in Paris?"
"I could think of many things we could do."
She doesn't respond to his suggestive words.
"Is that a yes?"
"I'll think about it."
"We're leaving tomorrow. I've already made the arrangements."
"You can't just-- just--"
"I thought you'd be happy to get out of the house."
She sighs, her fingers worrying the dark fabric of her skirts, "Ok."
"Excellent," he brings her hand up to his lips, "I look forward to sharing your bed again, Mistress Black."
***
Dressed in a violet dress, I stick out, standing next to my in-laws and husband. Which is fine by me. I rather stick out than look like I'm a part of a funeral precession  every damned day .
"Are you ready?" Regulus holds his arm out to me.
I gently place my arm on his, nodding.
"Owl, if you decide to stay longer than planned," Orion looks to his son first than to me. He's got a small smile on his lips. I smile back politely.
"Naturally," Regulus says before apparating us away from the house.
I hate apparition. Hate it with my entire being. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly doesn't stop the uncomfortable movement of tumbling through time and space.
When I'm able to open my eyes, my fingers gripping Regulus's arm uncomfortably tight, I'm met with the sight of a large brick building.
"Are you okay?" Regulus steps in front of me. Cupping my face, he looks at me with concern.
I open my lips slightly, trying to find the words despite my churning stomach, "I just-- I just need a moment."
He nods, not letting go of my face. Then, almost absentmindedly, his thumb brushes against my cheek.
"I'm fine now. Where are we?" I squeak out, trying to distract him from continuing to touch my face like so.
Regulus snaps out of whatever was happening between us, his hands dropping from my face as he turns to look up at the building. 
"This is where we will be staying." He hesitates for a moment before gently grasping my hand in his, "Do you mind?"
I shake my head no.
"Let me show you the apartment." Regulus helps me up the three steps of the building before holding the door open. He motions towards the staircase, placing his hand on the small of my back as we walk up the large staircase.
Regulus unlocks the heavy wooden door, pushing it open for me.
The sunshine in this room shines brighter than in Grimmauld Place. Probably due to the airy curtains and the creamy champagne color that the walls are painted.
It's a complete contrast to the rooms we share at Grimmauld Place. 
"What do you think?" Regulus gently pulls me into the room.
I turn to admire the white comforter of the bed, running my fingers against the soft material. 
"It's beautiful."
Turning, I catch Regulus's eye. He's leaning against the dresser, watching me intently.
I bite the inside of my cheek, "What are you looking at?" 
"Am I not allowed to look at my wife?"
"Obviously, you are. If looking is all that is on your mind."
He actually smiles, looking down at the ground momentarily, " we are  on our honeymoon."
Rolling my eyes, I begin to walk past him towards the bathroom. However, Regulus's fingers wrap around my wrist, preventing me from exiting the conversation.
"Regulus--" I find myself in his arms, his fingers tilting my chin towards him. Even as I despise the way he's dragged me into his arms, I can't say I hate the feeling of his body pressed against mine.
"Do you want this?" I hate that he's so diligent with asking for consent before he kissed me or initiated any--  activities . It would be so much easier to hate him if he was a beast of a man.
My contemplation of his question only lasts a few seconds before I lean up to kiss him.
Regulus makes a sound of surprise but quickly regains the dominance, his hands cupping my face. 
Slowly, he begins to back us up towards the bed, pulling me onto his lap as he sits down on the white comforter. 
"No," I pull away from the kiss, still straddling his thighs.
Regulus's lips are red as he looks at me confused, "You don't--?"
I shake my head, "I'm starving."
He smiles, tucking a flyaway hair back behind my ear, "We'll find you some food then."
***
(y/n) sips her tea. She hasn't spoken a word to him since he brought her to the wizard cafe.
"How is your food?"
She sets her tea down, "good."
Regulus strums his fingers against the table.
"Did you want something, Regulus?"
"Not particularly. Are you ready to get back?"
"Why are you so eager to get back?" Her smile is small, almost teasing.
"'m not eager..." Regulus frowns, straightening the lapel of his jacket.
"You've hardly touched your food," she looks pointedly towards his plate.
Regulus looks down as well, "I don't find myself quite as famished from our traveling, wife."
(y/n) rolls her eyes at his comment, "For your information, Regulus, I had to skip breakfast to pack for an impromptu trip my husband sprung upon me."
"I could have easily bought you a whole new wardrobe here if breakfast mattered to you that much."
"That would have been a waste--"
He chuckles, "money is not an issue for us, darling. You may have anything you desire simply by asking for it."
(y/n) bites the inside of her cheek, "Just because it is easily obtained does not mean it is not wasteful to live like this."
Regulus bites the inside of his cheek, looking away from (y/n). 
***
Lounging on the bed, he watches her. The chiffon robe she wears leaves little to the imagination as she walks by the open window. Regulus is certain she'd be mortified to find out it's nearly transparent when the morning light hits the fabric. He's enjoying the show, but he hates that anyone outside could see her.
"(y/n)," Regulus stretches his arms above his head.
"Yes?" She turns, the fabric of the robe shifting.
"Come here, please."
She frowns, hands coming to her waist, "why?"
He shifts on the bed, "because you're walking by the window  practically naked."
(y/n) crosses her arms across her chest, "Regulus!"
A small smile tugs at his lips, "Come here, darling."
She slowly makes her way to the bed. Regulus tugs her down to the bed, caging her in with his arms before she can make a noise. (y/n) looks up at him, the robe revealing her beautiful body.
Regulus trails his fingers down her neck towards her breast. Then, rolling her nipple between his fingers, he watches keenly at the way the nub hardened under his touch.
"Reg--"
He cuts her off, "do you want this?"
Her mouth opens and closes before she replies, "yes."
Regulus ducks down, kissing her deeply. He presses his rapidly hardening cock against her thigh.
"Have to be quick," he shoves his sleep pants down enough to free his cock.
"Why? What do we have to do today?"
He chuckles, "nothing that can't be pushed back. Do you want slow then Mistress Black?" Regulus's fingers drag down her jaw, fingers gently angling her face towards his.
(y/n) frowns back, "I--"
"You don't have to be embarrassed. I can make you squirm under me for however long you desire."
Slowly, he pulls the string of her robe loose, the material exposing her torso completely to his gaze.
"Is that what you want, darling?" He spreads her thighs so he can kneel between them.
Her mouth is parted slightly, chest heaving as she watches him drag his cock up and down her slit. 
"Please--"
"Such a good girl." Regulus inches in, entranced by the way her body welcomes him.
(y/n)'s fingers pull at his hair as he bottoms out, "Merlin--!"
"Not my name," he slowly pulls out before thrusting in hard.
(y/n) snorts, "was that a joke? Did you just make a--" he thrusts in again, "a joke?"
Regulus smiles down at his wife, "possibly."
He doesn't expect her to giggle, and he especially does not expect his stomach flip-flopping at the sound of that giggle. To distract himself from this onrush of new emotion, he leans down, kissing her with feverish passion. The softness of her lips, the way her tongue moves shyly in an almost submissive manner with his, and the way she completely surrenders herself to his kiss doesn't help him as the sudden adoration he feels for this woman continues to skyrocket. Love isn't the word. Love maybe would never be the word, but he feels like when they express passion through their sexual encounters, he maybe could be feeling something  like love . 
"Oh, Regulus," (y/n) moves her hips in time with his, the push and pull of their lovemaking intoxicating.
His fingers move to play with her clit, rolling the bundle of nerves and making her squirm underneath him. The way she grinds her hips hard against him with each skilled movement of his hands on her delicate flesh feels magnificent. She's breathtaking, and he can't even find the words to tell her how--  how much he enjoys this. 
Maybe enjoys it more than he's ever enjoyed it before.
"Don't stop," (y/n) whimpers.
"I wouldn't dream of it," he ducks down to kiss her as he pushes her over the edge. The feeling of her pulsing around him propels him towards his own release.
"Merlin--" He continues to thrust shallowly, burrowing his face in her neck. (y/n)'s fingers move tenderly across his back and shoulders as he comes down from his high. Regulus could stay like this forever.
"Are you going to--?" Her voice breaks his small paradise.
He frowns, "yes."
(y/n) stares at him before pushing his shoulders lightly until he pulls out, landing on the other side of the bed. "If you're going to do it, do it now. I want to take a bath."
He has a feeling the bath has something to do with washing away any trace of what they just did. Nevertheless, he does as she asks, wandlessly casting the charm.
***
After ignoring him for the rest of the morning and afternoon, reading on the sunny balcony, she appears to be in a better mood when he comes to get her for dinner. 
"Do you wish to get dinner with me?"
(y/n) softly closes the worn novel before looking up at him. Her face is sweet, lacking any of the anger it held earlier when they quarreled. 
"I would."
Regulus expects her to continue the conversation. Instead, she walks by him without another word. Placing his hands on the balcony's railing, Regulus looks out towards the city. The chaos of the muggles and their  cars  feels an awful lot like the current feeling in his head.
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aithusarosekiller · 3 years ago
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This type of conversation is all I can think of:
James, after randomly starting to uncontrollably cry for no apparent reason: I’m sorry, that was dumb
Barty: hey, hey, no it wasn’t. You can cry around us, we aren’t going to laugh at you. You’re allowed to feel
James: but I’m supposed to be the one who’s there to comfort other, not the other was around
Barty: no, that’s not right. You’re allowed to cry too. We can comfort you
James: no! That’s not how it works! You have it worse than me so I need to help you, I’m not supposed to be the one crying. I have nothing to cry about. My family is perfect, my condition is tip top, I don’t…?
Barty: what do you mean? You’re allowed to be sad as much as the rest of us. You don’t need to earn the right to be sad.
James: what?
Evan: James…how long has it been since you last let yourself cry? Apart from just now
James: …I don’t know
Evan: so…you’ve just been pretending not to feel any negative emotion for…years
James: yes? It’s my job, I have to. I can’t whine or complain, I have to listen and help. I need to be there for my friends. They need me.
Regulus: Jamie…that isn’t normal
James: what?
Regulus: nobody is built to carry around other people’s trauma and not feel anything themselves. You’re not a machine.
James: but they’re my friends, I need to help them!
Regulus: no. You can help them. But you need to help yourself too. Having boundaries doesn’t make you weak
James: but everyone knows I’m happy all the time! I can’t let them down. I have to be happy, if I don’t let the feelings get to me then it makes me brave-
Evan: that doesn’t make you brave, James. That makes you mentally exhausted
James: I don’t understand…
Evan: nobody else’s trauma is your responsibility. You can help them but you also need to tell them when to stop so you don’t hurt yourself, okay?
James: but…
Barty: promise you won’t be scared to show how you really feel around us?
James: …I don’t-
Barty: promise
James: …okay
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princeblack · 1 year ago
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she says she wants to be with him forever. 
he hopes she means it and would let him turn her. would she want to be like him, after all she’s seen? maybe it wouldn’t bother her, to have darkened eyes sometimes and a bloodthirst that controls her life. maybe she would even enjoy it; be good at it, like he suspected. he can’t ever picture himself seeing her as a monster, regardless of how she leans into her nature. he could only ever think of her as beautiful, no matter who she’s killing or how many. maybe that means he doesn’t have real morals anymore, but he can’t bring himself to care. 
all he cares about is her and her pretty sounds, moaning for him as he plays with her breasts. it’s almost like she wants to reward him for the good job he’s doing, speaking to him in a voice that makes his knees weak and his stomach hot. she keeps making those sounds even as he licks her lips, tongue moving against them in a repeated motion, hungrily cleaning up every drop of blood.
she gasps and tilts her head back, her face beautiful as it contorts with pleasure from how he massages her cunt. she begs to be fucked hard, which makes him moan a little. it gives him a rush, hearing about how he ruined her underwear just by being in her presence. “i did all of that just by looking good?” he purrs, squeezing her cunt. “you think i’m that pretty?” it’s not like regulus isn’t already confident, but her words are only encouraging, making him completely sure that she wants him. “then you’ll like what i do to you tonight…”
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her hands move through his hair as he drags his lips down her perfect chest, kissing and licking. he laps up the blood, making her curse. slowly licking up the mess, he moves his tongue in soft strokes until every drop of it is gone and her skin is smooth and crimson free. he licks over her nipple, making sure to get every bit of the blood that had smeared beneath her top.
then her tit is in his mouth, his tongue swiping against her nipple as he sucks on it, a soft moan in his throat. he tears her underwear off simultaneously, liking the way she gasps and arches against him. he groans in anticipation when she pushes his hand out of the way, starting to tug open his jeans on her own. he lets go of her breast so he can shift his position, allowing her to tug his jeans and underwear down. her hand takes his hard cock from the fabric, making him shiver with need at the feeling of her soft palm against his warmth. “i-i need you so bad,” he moans quietly, shoving the clothes down his legs hastily. she’s naked for him now and he needs to be the same, especially because she’s crawling into his lap.
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she licks her hand and his breath hitches, hoping he’ll feel her spit on his cock. luckily she starts stroking him, making him gasp from the sudden pleasure. her touch feels good, especially wet with her saliva as she shifts until she’s teasing her entrance with his tip. he moans brokenly, his hands coming up to cup her ass, eagerly pressing her against him. her cunt feels wet, slipping against his cock and taking him into her hole just a little. “p-please… that feels so good.” he wants more– to shove himself inside of her, and maybe feel more of her saliva, as well as her thick cum. “spit in my mouth,” he growls it a little, his hands shifting to her hips as he starts to push her down onto his cock. “i want to taste your spit again… and then your blood, and then your cum. i want us to be one… you can drink my blood, too.” he offers it almost casually, even though it’s not casual at all. he wants her to be his forever and he doesn’t want to worry about hurting her. at the same time, he jerks his hips up, sliding into her cunt and letting out a pleasured sigh. she’s wet and tight, spreading around him and sending heat through his body. his hands shift to her ass again, squeezing her tight. looking up at her almost shyly with lust filled green eyes, he opens his mouth a little, waiting for her to give him what he wants.
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she's seen monsters before, she knows what they look like. they look like her mother, a cruel woman who abused her own daughter, laying hands on her because she thought she could, because of a wicked sense of pleasure she got from harming her own child. a monster was her step father, who let her mom hurt her, who was a creep towards salem everytime she stepped into a room. they're monsters, regulus wasn't even close to being a monster. sure he killed but so did salem and salem was probably closer to a monster than regulus because he didn't just do it because he liked it. regulus was sweet, maybe a little lonely but weren't they all? the world was a shitty and lonely place where everything felt empty until you find that one person that makes your world whole and for the first time she understood what it was like to feel whole again, to feel loved. he loved her and she loved him back, that's all she needed. "you're no monster regulus, you didn't chose this life that was given to you but I did, I chose to be with you for however long forever is. you're not going to hurt me, I know it."
she lets out a soft purr, head tilting to the side as he plays with her breasts, squeezing at them and rubbing his palm against sensitive nipples. it feels so good, making her almost dizzy as she bites down on her lower lip. "that feels so good..." she moans wanting him to touch her more than this, she wants his hands all over her body, his mouth too. she bites down on her lower lip when he takes her top off, yanking at the string as it falls, she reaches to the back to undo the clip and letting the small fabric fall to the floor beside them.
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she sighs softly at the way he grabs her, squeezing and cupping at her large tits as he finally comes back to kiss her again, making eyes flutter closed and her hands come up to cup his face. loving the way his tongue moves against her lips, licking up her bleeding lip as she legs a moan slip past her soft lips. she likes it more than even she expected, the pain and the pleasure mixing into one addicting feeling that makes her almost dizzy, though that could also be from some of the blood loss.
he shushes her, making her whimper a little because it wasn't okay. she needs him, that it's almost a demand at this point. she wants to be touched by him, to be fucked, she wants him to claim every inch of her body because she's been his since the day they met in that cellar, she's been his since those green eyes looked into hers and showed her just how beautiful the world could be. there's a loud moan that leaves her, biting down on her lower lip as eyes flutter closed, his hand palming at her wet cunt, making her realize just how sticky and wet she was from her underwear pressing in on her. "please..." she gasps softly, tilting her head back as she bites down on her injured lip, hissing from the sting. she wants it to be rough, she likes the way it hurts already and she feels like she's waited too long to waste anymore time waiting for his touch. "fuck me hard, please...I need to feel you inside of my little pussy until it hurts."
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she nods at his question, his hand pressing against her soaked panties. "everyday." she notes. "you make me this wet everyday that I'm with you, do you know how crazy that drives me? how much underwear you've ruined." she teases, nose nudging against his own. he teases her about it's making her shiver a little at his words. "you're no prisoner, not anymore. do you know how hard I worked for you? to get you here? I killed for you and I'll kill for you again if I have to." she purrs at the way he kisses her neck, making her head tilt to the side as blue eyes flutter. "o-oh." her heart pounding so loud in her chest in anticipation to be bitten, she needs him to taste her.
but instead he kisses her, kissing her all the way down to her neck until he reaches her blood covered chest. she shivers at the feeling, the way he begins to lick her skin, making her gasp softly, her hands moving up to run through his messy red curls, giving them a gentle tug as he starts to lick her, cleaning the strangers blood from her body as she brushes her fingers through his hair. "f-fuck." she gasps once he's taking her nipple in his mouth, biting down on her lesser lip again, softly this time as eyes fall closed for a moment and letting her hips roll against his covered cock.
he then wraps his fingers around her lace panties, ripping them off her frame as she listens to the sound of them tearing off her. it makes her gasp in anticipation, arching her back a little as the fabric leaves her frame and is lost somewhere on the kitchen floor. her own fingers curl in his hair, massaging his scalp and grabbing at his soft locks until he's reaching down to take his own pants off and so, she helps, moving his hands out of the way as she helps undo his zipper, lifting her hips a little so she can tug down his jeans and underwear to follow, eagerly pulling his cock from them. there's a breathless gasp that leaves her, eyes flickering down at his hard length. he's huge, bigger than she even imagined, cock beautiful and pink making her mouth water. she needs him, needs him so bad that it drives her a little crazy.
she licks her palm, covering it in spit before grabbing his hardened dick, stroking him slowly and eagerly as she uses his tip to tease her entrance. "I need you to fuck me...please." she purrs, pressing his tip against her needy hole, slowly sliding down around him.
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spxllcxstxr · 4 years ago
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Being Regulus’ S/O and Watching Him be Corrupted by His Family • Headcanon
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(GIF not mine)
Warnings: angst! The Dark Mark, Voldemort, the Noble house of black deserves their own warning, death mention, poor regulus
Request: hi beautiful! could i request headcanons for regulus black's s/o? a female one if it's not too much trouble:) could i get some angst with reader saying "All I ever wanted was your approval, because I didn't know I was allowed to want anything else." if that might be too triggering, please feel free to ignore that part. maybe regulus is being "corrupted" by his mother and starting to turn into what she wants him to be? and the reader disapproves and tries to get him to realize that what he's doing is wrong? take care of yourself, luv <3 — @lucellence
A.N: oops I like this, I think. There’s more dialogue than I thought but that’s ok. I hope you guys enjoy! And love you all ❤️
Your boyfriend, Regulus Black, started acting odd after winter break in your fifth year
Sure, he was always soft spoken and a little distant before, but this was different
He wanted to be alone more often and always looked like he never actually slept at night
Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier started hanging around you, Regulus, and Barty in the Great Hall
You could deal with Barty, he and Regulus were friends since they were 11
But the other three?
They were known bullies and blood supremacists
They made you uncomfortable
“Reg can we please go somewhere else?”
“(Y/n)—“
“Please Reg?”
He looks so torn. Glancing between his new friends and the love of his life
“Yeah, ok”
So you go and sit at the top of the Astronomy tower or in the far corner of the library
But he doesn’t look all there
He’s listening to you and smiling at you
But he still looks like he’d rather be with them
And it hurts
He also stops complaining about his mother and his other family members
In fact, you try to talk to him about the many letters he gets from his mother and sometimes even Bellatrix, but he refuses to acknowledge them
He doesn’t open them at the table, he stuffs them in his robes and opens them in private in his own dorm
“They aren’t important, ma colombe (my dove in French according to Google). So don’t worry about it.”
“If they aren’t important, then why are you getting one from Narcissa’s boyfriend as well?”
“He just...wants to get to know the family better, (Y/n). You know he’s planning on proposing to her soon.”
“Yeah...I guess that makes sense.”
But if it was such an innocent letter, why was he hiding it from you?
You notice that Regulus’ eyes never settle
His light grey eyes constantly flick around like he’s suspicious of every little movement
This continues until you have to part ways at the end of the year
He’s not allowed to visit you
You’re not allowed to visit him
“You’ll stay safe, right Reg?”
“You worry about me too much, ma colombe.”
“Well when you live with that Merlin awful mother of yours—“
“Honestly, she’s not that bad, (Y/n).”
“Not that bad? Regulus are you serious?”
“No, I’m Regulus—“
“Ugh, you’re lucky I love you.”
“Indeed I am...” He mumbles under his breath
But the train finally stops, meaning Regulus has to rush off to meet his father in the platform
He presses a quick kiss to your lips before rushing out, barely promising to write over the summer
Regulus writes to you here and there
Not as often as usual
Then, in July, he stops writing altogether
This could be for a number of reasons, honestly, and none of them good
You hope he’s alright
You get one letter late in August
The script is shaky and barely legible
Smudged in certain places like he didn’t wait for the ink to dry before sending it
Dearest (Y/n),
Sorry for the late reply, mother wanted visit our cousins in Germany Bulgaria their estate in France.
I truly wanted to write back, but you know my family. I never had time alone. Always watching, they are.
It sounds like you’ve had an amazing summer, and I can’t wait to see you on the train.
Be careful out there,
RAB
The uneasiness doesn’t go away
Because you know he’s lying
You don’t send a reply, knowing full well that you won’t get another letter from him
You meet him on the Hogwarts Express
The hug is quick and is only with one arm—his left one staying at his side at all times
Much to your dismay
You have to share your compartment
You’re squished next to the window, Regulus next to you, Barty next to him
Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier across from you
You hate every minute of it
They sneer at you the entire time
You study your boyfriend the entire way to school
How he has darker bags under his eyes
And his hair isn’t as neat and proper as usual
His clothes are stiffer and heavier on his smaller frame
Skin paler, eyes duller
He tries to act casual, his left arm just out of the way of the action
But you notice as he sometimes winces during a turn or cradles it closer to his body
You grow suspicious
Let’s flashfowards a bit to....November
It’s the middle of the night and you’re following Regulus down to the library
He’s alone, looking like he doesn’t want to be caught
He quickly starts rummaging through the Restricted Section
Which isn’t bad, everyone sneaks into the Restricted Section at least once in their Hogwarts careers
But then he starts flipping through books about Dark Magic
And the sleeve of his grey jumper starts to roll up
And you see it
The Dark Mark
Black and wriggling against his pale flesh
“What have they done to you, Regulus?”
He whips his head to your frame so fast, his books clatter to the ground
His eyes widen in fear
“(Y/n), I can explain.”
“You can explain?” You’re starting to shout
“(Y/n), let’s take this somewhere else. Please—“
“What? You don’t want me to expose you? Expose you for being a Death—“
“Silencio!”
And suddenly your screams are cut off, you look at him, tears in your eyes
“Oh Salazar, I’m sorry.” He looks like he’s about to cry, pacing in front of you, fingers tightly grasping his hair in panic. “I’m so so sorry, (Y/n)...”
He reaches out to you
“I’m going to take you somewhere, ok? We need to go before we get caught. Please. Please just trust me.”
Reluctantly you follow him to the Room of Requirement
Which has taken the form of a similar library
Shelves lined with books and other magical artifacts
He quickly reverses the spell once the door is closed
“What the hell, Regulus?”
“I—“
“Let me see it.”
You push his sleeve up to once again reveal the inky snake and skull tattoo across his forearm
“Oh Regulus...”
“I couldn’t stop it.” His voice wavers and he’s trying to push back tears. “They brought me and a few others to his manor, and I was forced—“
“We’ll go to Dumbledore—“
“You don’t understand, (Y/n)! I felt him! I felt his cold hands wrapped around my arm! His veins fueled with raw power! Dumbledore won’t be able to stop him. No one will!”
“Please, Reg! You were forced, I’m sure it can be reversed if you just tell the Headmaster now—“
“They’ll kill me, (Y/n)! Don’t you understand? They already suspect my doubt! That’s why I’m being watched. Monitored even at school. One wrong word, one slip of the tongue and I’m dead!”
You wrap your arms around him, careful to avoid his searing arm
He returns the hug, tears dripping into you as he chokes back sobs
“I’m sorry...I’m sorry...I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to do this, Reg. I swear.”
“Of course I have to. I have no other choice.”
“You can be like Sirius! And live with the Potters. Or with me.”
“And when the Death Eaters come hunting you down? When they burn down your house with you inside? Tortured? Screaming in agony? That’ll be my fault.”
He looks absolutely terrified
Eyes wide, lips wobbling
He can barely catch his breath
“No, (Y/n). I can’t do that.”
“You’re not your mother, Regulus. Or Bellatrix, or Narcissa. You can be like Andromeda and Sirius. You can get out. There’s still time.”
“They’re manipulating you, Reg! Corrupting you! You aren’t a bad person or a dark wizard!”
You bring your hands to cup either side of his jaw
Your own tearful eyes lock onto his
“You’re my boyfriend. You’re sweet and caring...and—and...Merlin Reg! I can’t even describe you, you just mean so much to me. I can’t lose you, Reg. No, I refuse to lose you.”
“I—I don’t want to die...” He sobs, so openly and freely
You’ve had enough of this
You take him by the hand and lead him out the door, which is easy in his weakened and fatigued state
The two of you march through the corridors to Dumbledore’s office
He’ll know what to do
All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts
Regulus Taglist: @lunalovecroft
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isolemnlyswearpevensie · 4 years ago
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Strawberry Jam Sandwich | Regulus Black x Reader
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Warnings: Nothing :)
Time/Era: Marauders Era
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary: Y/N Potter and Regulus Black are a match made from heaven, even if other people didn’t expect it. 
Request: hello first of all I really like your writing and hope you and your loved ones are doing well. could you write a regulus black fic? like reader is James’ sister and they get married (because regulus doesn’t die) and years later they meet Harry?
A/N: Thank you and thank you for the request! Let me know how you like it! Enjoy! I love Reg and I’m so excited to FINALLY write for him!! For anyone else wanting a fic; please request away! 
masterlist | read on ao3
Y/N Potter and Regulus Black were a weird pairing in most people’s eyes. Both being the younger siblings of the two most popular guys in school, it made their peers raise their eyebrows. Not to mention, they were in rival houses and seemed to be on opposite sides of the war. But they just worked. 
Y/N was a lot like her older brother, James; very loud and loveable. She was naturally talented on the quidditch field and loved to make friends. It was obvious that she had relationships with people of all the houses due to her outgoing attitude and warm sense of humor. While Regulus also played quidditch, he was much more introverted and shy. He didn’t have many friends, due to being categorized by his surname automatically, so he often kept to himself and spoke only when necessary. Y/N was the talker, Regulus was the listener. 
Funnily enough, Y/N and Regulus met through the means of getting Sirius to make amends with Regulus again. Regulus had cornered Y/N in the library and begged her to help him come up with a plan to talk to his brother. They ended up meeting multiple times in the following weeks and grew to be friends. 
Regulus adored her ability to be interested in small things; she once asked him what a necklace he wore meant. It didn’t mean anything in particular, but she sat and listened to him speak about his jewelry for almost 15 minutes. No one ever took the time to listen to what the younger Black sibling had to say. 
To their ‘plan sessions” in the library, Y/N always brought a strawberry jam sandwich to munch on. They met after her quidditch practices, so James and Sirius wouldn’t find them, which meant she needed a snack to keep her energy levels up. She always offered him half, which the rather regal boy would decline nearly every time. Nearly. Regulus found her little snack absolutely adorable, especially when the jam got all over her face. It made her lips even pinker, and that much more kissable. 
The sandwich became an inside joke between the two quickly. Even when passing in the halls, they would scoff and find the most outlandish way to mention the food. It wasn’t funny in hindsight, but it was something that connected the two in its ridiculousness. 
~
Regulus paced back and forth among the bookshelves of the Hogwarts library, hoping to bump into his now best friend, Y/N. The library was near empty, as it was Friday night and very close to curfew, so even just looking for her held very little hope. She had mentioned something about having to finish an assignment she was procrastinating, so Regulus hoped she followed his advice to just get it over with. 
The bookshelves were high and blocked most of the ceiling in the room, making the books impossible to read. Long, vertical shadows cast their darkness over almost every inch of the floor and offered very little light to allow him to navigate the maze of shelves.  During the day, of course, this was a different considering the wall of windows that looked over the courtyards. The window seats were some of his favorite places to come and think. And the seats just happened to be his and Y/N’s meeting spot. 
Regulus was about to give up on his search, but he noticed Y/N hunched over an astronomy book, sitting on the floor with her back leaning against a bookshelf. He casually slipped next to her, offering a shy hello. 
“Hey, Black. What are you doing here?” 
“I was about to ask you the same thing, Potter. Not exactly the best studying environment.” Regulus tilted his head back until it hit the books and turned his head to see her. 
“Well, I’m trying to save myself from having to do this entire project tomorrow. I have a book, yet you appear literature-less. What’s your excuse?” Y/N moved so she sat with her legs crossed, the thick book laid open on her lap. 
“I came to return this, you left it at our last meeting.” He placed a slightly toasted strawberry jam sandwich on the book. It was wrapped lazily in a green napkin and left an abundance of crumbs on her homework. Upon further inspection, the words will you be my girlfriend? were scribbled messily on the paper in black ink. Y/N’s jaw grew slack as she looked over at the highly attractive man next to her. 
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I just wanted to ask.” 
“Are you being serious?” 
“Dead, Y/N.” 
A smile crept over her features and she held out half of the sandwich. “Suppose we can start our relationship with a snack?” 
Regulus accepted the food, making a subtle crunching noise as he bit into it. “I suppose I can make the exception to eat your exceptionally plain choice in snack food, just this once.” 
~
“I’m sorry, you’re dating who?” James laughs, shrugging his younger sister off before grabbing his broom. 
By this point, Y/N and Regulus have been sneakily dating for more than half a year and Y/N was tired of hiding their relationship. After Regulus and Sirius had failed to rekindle their relationship, Sirius shoved his brother even further away than they started. It hurt the younger black to the point of giving up, but even he was tired of hiding their relationship. He loved Y/N with his entire being, and his jerky older brother couldn’t ruin that. 
“Have you ever even talked to Regulus before?” Sirius adds, grabbing his own broom to prep for quidditch practice. 
“Yes, and I am dating him. Not sure what’s so hard to understand about that.” 
“We understand it, just don’t believe it. Now, don’t speak about things you don’t understand.” James kicked off the ground and flew in the direction of the quidditch pitch. 
“Don’t understand? Excuse me?!” 
“He’s right. I know you were just trying to prank us, but joking about something that personal isn’t funny, Y/N.’’ Sirius mounts his own broom and flies off after James. 
After practice, Y/N hurried to the library to meet her slightly anxious boyfriend. Regulus knew you were telling Sirius and James, and he knew they would react badly. Y/N saw Regulus sitting on the windowsill furthest from the door and hurriedly walked over. 
“Hey! How’d it go?” He asked after Y/N pecked his lips and sat next to him. Regulus wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. 
“Not much to tell, really. They said I was trying to prank them and to not talk about things I didn’t understand. Honestly, I kind of wish they yelled.” 
Regulus laughed and kissed her temple. “They’ll come around, I’m not exactly their favorite person so I can see why they don’t believe it. And I’m happy they didn’t yell because I know how you feel when people yell and I don’t want you to feel like that.” 
“Holy shit! Get away from my sister!” James’ voice filled the area, Sirius quick on his heels. They must have been following Y/N after practice. 
~
“Riddle me this, you want to spy for the order and potentially get KILLED?!” Y/N paced around the living room of Regulus and her shared flat. 
It didn’t take long for Sirius to reaccept Regulus back into his life after seeing how he treated Y/N. At first, both older brothers thought Regulus was using Y/N to feed secrets and information to the opposing side of the war. They didn’t accept the couple and wanted Y/N to have nothing to do with the boy. But, after many feelings were hurt and various words were shared, they decided to give the boy a chance. 
Regulus treated Y/N like a queen and made sure his girl knew how much he loved her. He wasn’t very good with words, but his actions spoke volumes. Flower bouquets were gifted periodically, as were small gifts that had a lot of thought put into them. During one of their study dates, he spent over an hour drawing a beautiful portrait of her. Not too long after, he gave her an entire sketchbook of drawings he knew she would love. Whether that was pictures of her friends, family, her favorite flowers, or something as mundane as the bench she loved to sit on, the gift had taken hours and hours of his time. It was obvious that Regulus was in love with his girl. 
After graduating from Hogwarts, both Regulus and Y/N joined the Order of the Pheonix. Regulus still had heavy ties with Voldemort and his family, so Dumbledore asked him if he would consider being a spy for the Order. Even Sirius thought it was a bad idea. But, he had to prove that he wasn’t who he was raised to be. He had to prove himself to not only everyone around him, but to his inner soul. 
“Listen, Dumbledore thinks that there’s a spy that infiltrated the Order and if I can find out who, maybe I can stop it. Think about it, James has a kid, a kid who is very valuable to you-know-who. We haven’t even spent a ton of time with him yet, but I know I can save him if I find the spy.” 
“Yes, I realize that, Reg. But I can’t lose you in the process. We’re supposed to get married and have kids of our own and have a happy life-” Y/N takes a deep breath. “I can’t live without you.” 
Regulus smiles a comforting smile, taking his girlfriend’s hands in his. “I know, darling. I’m not going anywhere. How about this,” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ring box, presenting it to Y/N. “Let’s get married. I’ve never been a fan of the big white wedding...and all you need is a few witnesses and two signatures. I’m sure Sirius and James would be more than willing to witness. What do you say?” 
Y/N gapes at her boyfriend. “Are you asking me to marry you?!” Regulus laughs and pecks her lips. 
“I love you so much, Y/N Potter. You are the light of my life and I am so lucky to have you. You have brought me so much joy and really made me the best person I could be,” He wipes a tear delicately from Y/N’s skin. “I asked James for his blessing, too, after the last Order meeting. He said he was ecstatic for us. So, Y/N, will you marry me? We can eat strawberry jam sandwiches together for the rest of our lives.”
“Yes! A thousand times yes!”
~
“Hi, little one, I’m your uncle, Regulus, remember?- Ow! Not the hair!” Regulus sat in a suit in the parlor of Potter cottage with one-year-old harry in his lap. Y/N watched from the doorway, decked out in her white cocktail dress and heels. She couldn’t help but gush at the sight of her soon to be husband with a child; it felt so natural. Her heart swelled just thinking about watching him play with their own children. 
“Yeah, he does that, keep him at a distance,” James responded, coming into the room. He was running late, as always, and was trying to tie his tie. “I can’t believe I’m witnessing my baby sister getting married!” 
Harry gargled and reached his hands towards his father. “Dadadadada!!!!” 
“I know, buddy, I’m right here. Hang out with your Uncle Reg for a while, yeah?” James responds, messing with his hair in the mirror. No matter how much he ‘fixed it,’ it all looked the same.
“It’s crazy how he looks so much like you, it’s like you copied your baby photos and made them come to life!” Y/N stated. Harry was almost an exact copy of James, but with Lily’s eyes. 
Sirius came into the room, perfectly dressed with his hair tied back. “Well, are we leaving or not?” He asked, fixing the bowtie around his neck in the mirror for the 8th time. 
“Pa’foo!” Harry squeals and squirms in Regulus’ arms. His grip tightens around the baby before pressing a kiss into his dark curls. 
“No, not Pa’foo! Reg!” Sirius turned towards Y/N and whistled. “Damn, Reggie, not sure how you picked up this one! Look at the legs on her! Phew, lucky I don’t snatch you up myself!” 
“Stop it! Can we please go?” Y/N swatted Sirius’s chest with her bag, embarrassed.
James plucked Harry from Regulus’ lap and hands him to Lily. “Yes, yes. Sorry, let’s go!” James kisses Lily’s cheek and disapperates out of his house.
Y/N walks over to Regulus and offers him a hand. “Ready to go get married?” 
“I’ve never been more ready, my love. “ 
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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years ago
Text
Teenagers Part 4
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Link to Part 3
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: M
_____
Regulus was the first to break the kiss, leaving you nearly breathless. You weren't able to bring yourself to look at your friends. Without looking you knew that James was probably over there screaming.
“What in the name of hell is going on around here?”
That was quicker than I expected.
You thought looking up at James. He stood in front of you resembling a volcano about to explode. Sirius stood behind him with his mouth wide open. You wanted to laugh at the expression on Sirius’ face. In all of the years, that you had been friends with Sirius, you have never seen him with this expression on his face.
Regulus was the first one to speak. In true Regulus Black fashion, his voice was eerily calm.
“I suppose your glasses aren’t strong enough, Potter. If you were looking clearly then you would have seen things clearly.”
James tried to bite his tongue...which worked all of three seconds.
“Get your filthy hands off of my sister, Black!”
Regulus held his hands up before looking at his palms.
“I’m not filthy. Again Potter, get your vision checked. Maybe I wouldn’t beat you in quidditch if your vision was correct.”
You automatically winced at that particular dig. If there was a subject to really piss James off on other than you was his quidditch skills. Sure enough, James threw his books down and went for his wand.
Regulus, meanwhile, raised an eyebrow.,
“What are you going to do, Potter? Hex me? You do realize that my friends are sitting right over there and are watching this whole exchange. There are more of us than you and my mute brother.”
James glanced toward the Slytherin table where Evan, Barty, Severus, and a few of Regulus’ little minions were clearly waiting for an excuse to go after him. He glanced over his shoulder and was pleased to see Remus and Peter had finally decided to come over.
“I have two more. It will be a fair fight. You have no business being with my sister.”
You quickly stood up.
“James, I like Regulus. It isn’t your place to tell me what to do.”
James turned his attention to you. He was fuming and knew that he was probably about to say a lot of things that he would regret later. At the moment, however, he didn’t give two shits. You didn’t know what you were getting into. All that James could see was you looking the way that Sirius did the night that he moved in. Sure, Regulus was probably too decent enough of a guy to put his hands on you but Walburga Black wasn’t. If you did something that displeased that hag, she would probably beat you and Regulus would be too soft to stand up to his mother. There was no way in hell that James would allow you to live in that kind of household! He couldn’t help but wonder why you would want to?
“You didn’t talk to me about this, Y/n. You saw what his family did to Sirius! If you are with him, his psycho mother will hurt you! She hates us as it is anyway.”
Regulus frowned.
“James, this isn’t the bloody 1800’s. Y/n can be with who she wants without any input from you. Furthermore, I wouldn’t let my mother touch her.”
James took a breath before turning to Regulus.
“You sure didn’t stand up for your older brother. Sirius, do you have something to add to this? You are being awfully quiet back there?”
Sirius opened his mouth and made a few small squeaking sounds before finally talking.
“You two like each other?”
Regulus’ annoyed scowl intensified.
“Catch up!”
Sirius blinked as Remus and Peter wrapped their arms through James.
“Okay, we need to stop.”
Peter gently said to James. Remus nodded.
“We need to stop so you don’t say something that you will regret.”
James laughed bitterly.
“I have a lot to say and I am not feeling too shy right now. Y/n, when this all goes to hell don’t you dare come to me for help! This will all be your fault for choosing this little shit.”
Regulus stood up after he saw the way that your face fell. This uncharacteristic comment was something that you never expected to hear come out of James’ mouth. You were unable to meet Sirius and Remus’ faces. What you couldn’t see was both Sirius and Remus were as stunned as you. This was not normal James Potter behavior.
“Little shit? You do realize that I am bigger than you. I’ve had enough of your mouth, Potter. If that is really how you respond to your sister, who you supposedly love so much, you aren’t very much of a brother. Come on, Y/n.”
You quickly stood, wanting nothing more than to get out of the great hall. Sure, you could have made some really hurtful comment right back at James but you didn’t want to. You loved your brother too much to be that sassy and hurtful. Clearly, James didn’t see things the same way that you did.
Had James come over and wanted to talk like a sane human not a neanderthal, you would have been glad to talk to him. You would have told him that you cared more about Regulus than you ever had for any other boy. Granted, Regulus could have turned down the sass and assured James that he would make sure that you wouldn’t be hurt. Maybe assurances from both of you would ease the tension going on inside of your brother. Unfortunately, it was all shot to hell.
You quickly took the hand that Regulus was holding out to you. Glancing over your shoulder, you could see Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene were all standing up with matching worried expressions on their faces. This would be the first time that you walked away from your friends. Something told you that you wouldn’t be seeing much of them for the foreseeable future…
James, meanwhile, watched as you walked out of the great hall with Regulus. The older brother in him wanted nothing more than to go grab you and beg for forgiveness. He knew that his reaction was less than satisfactory but what did you expect? James had been looking after you from the moment that you were born. How did you honestly expect him to turn that off?
The better question was Regulus thinking? Did he really think that this relationship was going to work out? What did the two of you honestly have in common? You were such a sunny lovely person with a heart of gold and Regulus...well...he was gloomy and everything dark.
“James?”
He turned the moment that Lily said his name.
“Did you see that?”
Lily gently wrapped her hand around James’ hoping to calm him down. She tried to keep her voice calm and sweet. Lily knew if she wanted to get anything out of James adding to his temper wouldn’t get her anywhere.
Before Lily could speak, Marlene beat her…
“The whole hall heard the three of you.”
James groaned. He ran a hand through his messy hair before turning to face his friends.
“Was I wrong?”
Lily shrugged as Dorcas spoke.
“James, what is so bad with Regulus? I mean, he’s smart and he really seems to like Y/n. From what I can see, he has been nothing but kind to her.”
James growled.
“Okay Dorcas, what about when the little twat loses his temper and his little mask comes off and my sister gets hurt? I don’t care if he’s a Black or whatever family he comes from, he has no business with my sister.”
Lily finally decided to speak.
“Why don’t you calm down a bit then go talk to Y/n? You're her older brother and she loves you more than anyone. This is going to crush her.”
James sighed.
“She’s really happy right now, Lils! She has the boy that all of the other girls want since his older brother isn’t dating anyone anymore.”
Sirius frowned.
“Hey! I can’t help it that I’m attractive. In all seriousness, James, I get why you worried. I am for the same reason. You of all people know who my mother is. If I said that I wasn’t worried it would be a lie. Since when does my brother like girls? I was convinced that he didn’t like anyone.”
“He needs to go back to that. I guess that I am supposed to sit back and watch my sister’s life go to hell?”
James snapped, having the urge to punch a wall. Remus finally decided to speak. He was waiting for the best moment to talk. Maybe this was it?
“I’ll keep an eye on them as much as I can.”
James nodded.
“I’m going to get some air.”
(meanwhile)
You walked in silence beside Regulus. Neither of you had said much since leaving the great hall. Regulus had kept a watchful eye on your face. You were devastated and he knew it. He knew that expression on your face well.
“I didn’t expect him to say that.”
Regulus commented before gently shoving you into an empty classroom. He closed the door behind him before turning to face you.
“I didn’t either. James has never talked to me like that.”
You commented. Regulus sighed. He didn’t want to say this but maybe it was for the best?
“If you want to break up so he won’t have a heart attack...I understand.”
Your mouth dropped as you threw your arms around his shoulders. That was the last thing that you wanted to think about.
“No! I don’t want that...at all. It isn’t James’ place to tell me who that I can or who that I can’t date. I didn’t throw a fit when he started dating Lily...not that I would but you get my point. Just because I am his little sister doesn’t give him the right to throw that bit of a tantrum like a child.”
Regulus was relieved when you said that. He wrapped an arm around your waist wanting nothing more than to preserve the close contact.
“I won’t let my mother do a thing to you. Whether James or Sirius wants to admit it, I know how to manipulate her well. I suppose that is one of the positives about Sirius leaving...mother is at her wits end to please me.”
“Is she as scary as Sirius lets on?”
You questioned, laying your head on Regulus’ shoulder.
“No, not anymore. I think that she realizes what she lost with my brother. She doesn't want to lose another heir. Mother tries to be tough but she isn’t...not anymore. I think the older she gets the more that she realizes her faults. As far as my father, he is so disconnected from the rest of us. I will just tell him that we are dating and he won’t even question it. What about your parents?”
You realized that you hadn’t really thought much about how your own mother and father would react. When Sirius moved in with your family, your mother had spent two days muttering about how she wished that she could have saved Regulus too. You smirked. Little did she know that there was still hope on that one.
“I think they will be more concerned about your parents than they will you. My mother just wonders if you are able to talk.”
Regulus smirked. Your parents had been plaguing his mind a lot since the day before.
“A lot of people ask that. My parents have a big party at Christmas. I know that my mother will want you to come. Do you think that your parents would let you?”
That was a good question. You didn’t foresee your mother being too thrilled or even considerate at the idea of letting you go around the Black family.
“I’ll have to see what I can do there. If we stay together, they will have to find some way to get along.”
Regulus nodded before gently kissing you. He sighed against your lips. This was something that he could get used to very quickly. It was no wonder that Sirius was a man whore. This whole "being loved" thing was becoming addicting. Regulus had no interest in kissing anyone other than you. He could hold and kiss you all day if he was able.
As far as "staying together" you were the only girl that Regulus could tolerate that thought with. Sure, things were still in the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship but Regulus didn't foresee his mind changing. Normally once his mind was made up...it was made up.
“And I don’t foresee myself letting you go.”
That evening when you returned to the common room, you didn’t look in the direction of where your friends sat. It wasn’t until Dorcas said your name, did you look up. Sirius, James, Lily, Dorcas, and Remus sat in the usual corner that you lot occupied. You gave Dorcas a small wave as she motioned you over.
James didn’t look up and neither did Sirius. Remus was busy giving them a mother hen “displeased” glare. You had a bad feeling that this was going to be what the foreseeable future was going to be like. Half of your friends would talk to you and the other half was going to be oddly silent around you.
So much for our last year being the best…
You thought sadly. It would probably be better if you acted as if you didn’t exist when you were in the common room. Clearly, that was how James and Sirius seemed to want it…
Shaking your head, you turned and went in the direction of your dormitory. In the comfort of your bed, you could finally catch up and process all of your feelings. When James and Sirius were ready they could speak to you. Until then you weren't going to bed them to see things your way.
Over the following 2 ½ months, Sirius and James kept up with the “we aren’t talking to you” mantra as the first day. You found yourself drifting further and further from your friends with each passing day. Sure, you would talk to Dorcas, Marlene, and Lily just like before but things were changing with Remus and Peter. They seemed to be sympathizing with James. You weren’t as offended with Peter as you were Remus. He was the last person that you had expected to turn his back on you.
You had figured that he was only trying to keep peace with James as his friend was clearly going through a tough time but so were you! Trying to be understanding was only getting you so far and with each time Remus walked past you without a word...you began to lose faith a little bit more in that particular relationship.
I guess that shows who your friends are…
You thought one afternoon as you sat in the Three Broomsticks. Dorcas, Lily, and Marlene had invited to sit with them as normal. Clearly, the three girls wanted to gain back some sense of normalcy but normal wasn’t going to happen. You had politely declined their invitation and went to an empty table to sit alone. Regulus would be there soon enough and you weren’t about to sit with your brother and watch them all shoot each other dirty looks.
When Regulus stepped in, you pushed the negative thoughts out of your mind as he looked in your direction with a smile. He was the one “sunny” spot that you had to look forward to every day. The relationship was going better than you could have expected. Were you ready to say “love?” You could answer that with a yes...it was only finding the right time to say it to him.
“Sorry, it took me so long. I had to stop Barty from getting in a fight with some Ravenclaw. If he gets in another fight, his father will murder him.”
Regulus commented as he leaned down to kiss you. You rolled your eyes. Over the past few months, you found yourself getting to know Regulus’ friends better and better. How he was friends with some of the Slytherins, you weren't for sure but you decided to keep those opinions to yourself. Maybe that's why Regulus had the reputation that he did. He had to be a “hard ass” to keep Barty from being injured or following Evan through whatever hell he was up to.
“I understand. I’m happy to see you.”
You said taking your place beside him. Regulus wrapped an arm around you enjoying the warm heat that your body provided. He knew that you weren’t thrilled with Barty Crouch Jr but what Gryffindor really was? You never complained about his friends and that meant the world to Regulus. While he wanted nothing more than to keep your company, he still had to keep up with the rest of the Slytherins that he had grown up with.
“I’m happy to see you too. You look beautiful as always.”
When your cheeks flushed scarlet, Regulus couldn't fight the smile. He could sit and watch you blush all day long. Over the past 2 ½ months, he had grown undeniably closer to you with each day. Regulus had never expected to fall in love with you this quickly but he had.
“Oh, I finally heard back from my mother.”
Regulus commented. You felt your stomach begin to feel uneasy at that. For the first bit of your relationship, Regulus decided not to mention anything to Walburga. Now that things were starting to become more serious, his mind had changed. You were afraid that Walburga would say no to everything once that she found out who was dating her youngest son.
“You did? Did she freak out? Regulus, I don’t want to cause a rift between….”
Regulus pulled you into his arms for a tender kiss.
“She isn’t mad.”
Your mouth dropped. Something about this revelation had totally caught you off guard. You had been so busy preparing yourself for the rejection that you never prepared for approval.
“She what?”
You questioned. Regulus chuckled at the expression on your face as he handed you a folded letter.
“See for yourself.”
You blinked a few times before taking the letter from your boyfriend nervously. Unfolding the document, you couldn't help but wonder if you really wanted to read what Walburga Black had to say? What if there was some hidden ulterior motive or backhanded comment that would prove her actual disapproval.
“Regulus,
Your father and I are very glad to hear that you have found a suitable pureblood girl. If my memory serves me correctly, Y/n Potter is a very lovely girl. You should invite her to Christmas with our family. We would love to meet her in person.
Sincerely, Your mother.”
You read the letter twice to make sure that you had taken everything incorrectly. Walburga was okay with the relationship and she thought that you were lovely...had hell frozen over? You couldn’t help but wonder if the world had ended and you were just the last to know?
Frowning at Walburga's signature of “your mother” you couldn’t help but think of how stuffy and formal that seemed. That was just one of the differences between Regulus’ family and yours. Your mother and father’s letters were always so warm and cheery. They both mentioned how much they missed you in every single letter in addition to how much they loved you. In the letters from Walburga and Orion, neither party ever said “I love you” or “I miss you” to their son.
“Wow...I was not expecting that.”
You replied. To say that you were surprised would have been a major understatment. You were stunned! Regulus smiled one of his rare genuine smiles that made your heart pound. It was one of those smiles that made his dark eyes light up. He didn't look like the serious boy that he typically was. He was carefree and you loved it.
“I really wasn’t either...so will you please come with me to the party? You being there would make it so much more tolerable.”
Gently pushing a stray curl away from his face, you couldn’t say to that face.
“I will. I’ll write to my parents about it tonight.”
Meanwhile,
Lily turned to James with a displeased scowl. James hadn’t looked up since the moment that you walked into the place.
“James, this has gone on long enough!”
James looked up from the butterbeer in front of him. It had been a long time! He frowned the moment that he realized that you were snuggled up to Regulus. The angry side of James returned like a freight train. He chose to forget that he had received a letter from his mother telling him that he needed to accept the fact that you would fall in love one day. While Euphemia wasn’t thrilled about your choice in a suitor either, she was a lot more “hopeful” than her eldest son.
James, that boy probably needs love more than anyone in this world and maybe...just maybe Y/n is the best one to give it to him.”
James wanted to gag at that sentence. The last thing that he wanted to think about was you giving Regulus “love.” The mere thought of you sleeping with Regulus Black was enough to send James to a nuthouse.
While the stubborn side of James prevented him from speaking to you, the “soft” side of him was aching to be near you. It was hard from going to having a little sister who was more like a best friend to nothing. He missed your chatter...hell, he missed everything about you!
There had been a few times that James had come close to apologizing and admitting that he was being childish but he never did it. It seemed every time that he was close to doing it, he caught Regulus snogging you. James hated looking at the two of you fused together like some nuclear accident gone berserk.
“They are always snogging.”
James snapped as he and Sirius walked down the hall one day. The two had just left charms and had gone off in search of you. James had it in his mind that he was going to apologize, however, when he walked into the hallway and saw you wrapped around Regulus kissing him like the world was about to end, he froze.
Sirius had finally put a hand on his friend’s back and pushed him along.
“You aren’t that cool, James.”
James pulled himself from his memory of the previous day as Lily wrapped her hand around his.
“James, this is Y/n’s first boyfriend. What if Regulus is the one? We will have to find some way to get along with him.”
James faked a gag.
“Merlin, I hope that he isn't the one.”
He commented as Remus sat down. James looked up to his friend hoping for some new that didn’t involve you and that boy. He had never been more thankful for Sirius and Remus over the past few months. His best friends had been his biggest support system. While James felt guilty over your friendships with Sirius and Remus becoming nonexistent, his friendships with them grew stronger.
“Remus, please tell me that you have some good news or a joke or something.”
Remus glanced over his shoulder to where you sat snogging Regulus. He sighed.
“Rumor on the street is Walburga is pleased as punch over Regulus and Y/n being a couple.”
Both Sirius and James’ mouths dropped. Sirius expected his mother to send Regulus a howler about “HOW DARE YOU DATE A BLOOD TRAITOR!” James was expecting the same thing and made a bet with Sirius on when the howler would be arriving.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
James muttered as Sirius swore under his breath.
“Mum will be pleased as punch with anything that her little baby boy does. If it were me and I brought Y/n home, it would have gone ugly.”
Sirius looked over Remus’ shoulder to see you and Regulus going at it again.
“I swear all that she does is snog him.”
James looked up with a scowl.
“I need to get out of here.”
________
@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @realgaytrash @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @bennyberry @whymyparentscheckmyphone @quuenofblacks @jessyballet @knreidy1 @hazncalsgal @criminalyetminimal @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @marichromatic @maggioli-m @stuckinsaudi1 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @acciosiriusblack @fandomsxxregulus
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fleursowl · 4 years ago
Text
the one where sirius nearly dies
so!! this is written for @gaeilgelupin who got hit by a BIKE the other day and freaked me the hell out, but she has now recovered and i love her 🥰
“Where is he?” Remus demanded as soon as he’d pushed through the doors of the hospital, whirling around to find the reception desk.
He quickly hurried over, ignoring the strange looks thrown his way at his dramatic entrance and dishevelled appearance- and maybe also because of the strikingly good looking boy that was storming along with him.
“Remus, how do these muggle hospitals work?” James asked, far too loudly all things considered, and Remus elbowed him to shut up as he impatiently hopped from foot to foot to wait their turn at the desk.
As soon as they’d reached the front James near jumped over the counter in his desperation, Remus having to physically restrain him from strangling the unhelpful receptionist despite feeling like doing so himself.
Remus tugged James backwards with a tight hold on his shirt, dragging him over to stand by the elevator door. To the casual observer, Remus probably seemed the face of utter composure and calm, yet his frantic jabbing at the elevator door button and subconscious chewing on his lip as his now darkened amber eyes darted around betrayed him to those who knew him best.
Finally, the doors opened, and the two boys reeled backwards at the figure that emerged from them.
“Oh. Hello.” Regulus Black said a little awkwardly, adjusting his yellow scarf around his neck uncomfortable.
James simply stared at him, having not seen him since they had left Hogwarts, and had no knowledge that he and Sirius were on visiting-each-other-in-hospital terms.
Remus rolled his eyes a little at James’ incompetence, stepping forwards to shake Regulus’ hand rather more frantically than he would’ve liked.
“Good to see you, Regulus. I’d love to stay and talk, but…” Remus trailed off hopefully, not wanting to outright say it but hoping that Regulus would catch onto his meaning.
Regulus nodded with a tight-lipped smile, his eyes darting over to James’ flushed face and back.
“He’s in room seven, fourth floor. See you again, maybe.” Regulus said briskly, smoothly gliding past them and out of the hospital doors.
“Well, at least that means he isn’t dead,” Remus muttered as the two stepped into the now-empty elevator.
He glanced over at James in the mirror, taking quick note of his flustered expression and fidgety hands.
“Do you want to talk-” Remus started saying, but was quickly shut down.
“No.” James replied, simply but firmly. “One thing at a time. Let’s go find Sirius and see what mess he’s got himself into.”
Remus nodded, and James shot him a grateful look, forever thankful for his friend’s ability to understand everything.
As soon as they reached Sirius’ door James pushed right on through, but Remus paused, hesitated before he could follow him.
‘What are you doing? Go on, go to him!’ Remus’ heart yelled, but his feet were frozen by the mantra repeating in his mind.
‘What if he is dead? What if he doesn’t want to see you? What if he’s hurt so bad he doesn’t remember you?’ A nasty voice whispered at the back of Remus’ mind, and he shook his head, a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Re?” a voice called weakly from inside the room, and it flipped Remus’ stomach. He hurriedly rushed inside, cursing himself for daring to hesitate.
Inside, Sirius was lying in bed in a spacious but still somehow cramped hospital room, James sitting next to him on a flimsy plastic chair. Remus stood there, his eyes taking in the sight of Sirius wounded, hospitalised.
It was both better and worse than his mind had imagined.
For one, Sirius was alive, sat up, he was speaking, he remembered Remus, he still loved and wanted to see him, and the smile still in his face settled Remus’ worries slightly.
However, the bruising all along his face- a purple cheek, a crooked nose, a split and puffy lip, scrape marks on his chin and forehead, a black eye- were far more vivid than Remus could’ve visualised. His arm had been put in a cast, there were bandages around his waist, and his leg was suspended in a slightly stiff position.
“Baby,” Remus breathed in horror, rushing over to Sirius with anxious hands, wanting to touch, to heal, to hold, but not wanting to hurt Sirius more in the process.
“C’mere,” Sirius laughed, reaching shakily with his unbandaged hand to wrap it around Remus’ waist, tugging the boy to him gently.
Remus gently wrapped his arms around Sirius, burying his face in Sirius’ hair and breathing in his scent. Okay, okay. Sirius was still here. He still had him.
James fidgeted in the seat beside the bed, wanting to join and hold his best mates, but not wanting to interrupt their moment.
“Get over here, Jamie.” Sirius said in a slightly muffled voice, wrapped up in Remus’ arms and oversized sweatshirt.
He let out a happy noise of relief, hopping onto the bed and covering the two with his arms as best he could, feeling as though in some small way he could protect them all from the dangers of the outside world.
Once they had all calmed down a little, James and Remus pulled back to sit in their respective chairs and Sirius smiled a little smugly in the middle- now that he had recovered a little and was with his two favourite people, he was quite enjoying the extra attention he got.
“So. How did you end up here?” Remus said rather sternly, his chin rested on his folded hands, and Sirius squirmed a little in guilt.
“I got hit by a bike-“ he started explaining, but was interrupted by James’ shriek.
“A bike? A BIKE? A muggle did this? By Merlin I swear I’ll hunt them down and-“
Sirius waved him off with a grin, patting James’ frantically moving hands.
“Don’t worry Jamie, they’re the one who found my phone to call my emergency contacts once the am-bu-lance came to get me.” Sirius said carefully, glancing over at Remus to check he’d pronounced it properly.
Remus nodded absentmindedly, trying to piece together the events and work through it logically.
“So you have Regulus as an emergency contact, still?” he asked gently, watching carefully for Sirius’ reaction.
Sirius’ face lit up a little and he nodded eagerly, but not before glancing over at James to check it was okay he spoke about it.
James waved his approval with rather flushed cheeks, and Sirius launched into an explanation.
“It’s great news, really- I never could face removing him from my phone as an emergency contact, and so the person who hit me- their name was Alex- called him as well as you two, and he got here sooner because he’s living in London now, moved out of my parents’ place.” Sirius began saying, and Remus watched with pride as Sirius’ face no longer flickered with hurt at the thought of his parents and the time he’d spent living there. Wizard therapy really did wonders.
“Anyway, he came in to see me, gave me the shock of my life, nearly finished me off to be honest- and once he’d made sure I was alright and laughed at me for getting hurt by a bike of all things, not even a motorbike, he started telling me about how he met this person- their name was-is, but he’s not seeing them anymore- Taylor, and they’re a muggle, and Regulus really liked them and he left my parents’ house once and for all, and moved in with Taylor, and things ended up just not working out, so he’s got his own place in London now, and is focusing on his education- he’s going to university.” Sirius finished breathlessly, his face glowing with pride.
James nodded along with a more sober yet unreadable expression, making noncommittal noises here and there at appropriate times.
“That’s really good, Pads. We can go visit him when you’re a little better.” Remus said softly, squeezing Sirius’ hand.
“How long until you’re allowed out? Lily and the others will probably wanna come see you too.” James asked, and Remus noted with another glimmer of pride that he didn’t stumble over his ex’s name anymore. Hopefully that would make things less awkward at the next Hogwarts reunion.
“Not sure, it already feels like i’ve been here for ages.” Sirius whined, throwing his head back and wincing a little.
Remus reached out and put his hand on Sirius’ neck, tilting it forwards again and putting a pillow behind it.
“Just focus on getting better, love, and I’ll get you back home as soon as possible.” he said, and Sirius softened a little.
“Doctor’s orders, eh?” James grinned, leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head, and Remus was struck with a very vivid memory of James trying to impress Lily in every class, ever back at Hogwarts.
He sat back a little, still holding Sirius’ hand, and watched Sirius and James get into an argument over whether surviving getting hit by a motorbike or a double-decker bus was more cool, and smiled contentedly. They might be a bunch of barely-alive, struggling for cash misfits, but they had each other, and that was enough.
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with-love-anu · 4 years ago
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Falling for her
Pairing: Regulus Black x Malfoy!Reader
Summary: Both the Black brothers fall for you, but your heart beats for one. 
Warnings: Swearing maybe?
Word Count: 1,679
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You ran towards the charms class. You were late, very late. You’ve had a splitting migraine last night, and Madam Promfey had provided you a sleep potion. It had been the reason you slept through your alarm and none of your dorm mates had even tried to wake you up. As you saw the classroom getting closer, you thought what you would tell your professor. Surely, he would understand, him being the one who sent you to the matron? You opened the door and felt all eyes fall on you.
“I’m very sorry, Professor. The sleep portion Madam Promfey gave me made me oversleep. May I come in?” You said huffing for breath.
“It’s okay, dear. Come in.”
You looked around for a seat, finding your friends already paired.
“Miss Malfoy, if you could please join Mr. Black, I’ve just made him sit away from his friend for causing nuisance.”
You gulped, hating the thought, but nodding anyway. You looked at Sirius who was already smirking in your direction and winced. He would definitely flirt with you. That’s just how he was. He flirted with anyone and everyone. Ever since you were kids. You didn’t mind it that much, but you really needed to concentrate on the class if you wanted a respectful job. Especially since you were planning to leave the Malfoy household forever.
You slowly moved towards his table setting down your bag and taking out your books.
“What are we studying today?” you whispered to Sirius.
“Well, I am studying you” he smirked, eyeing you. You rolled your eyes.
“Sirius, what is professor flitwick teaching?” you asked sternly.
“Bubble head charms.” He stated glumly.
The rest of the class, you spent skimming over your textbook for what was covered and simultaneously taking notes on what was going on. When the professor called out for practice, you quickly revised everything before getting ready to perform the spell.
“et spirare!” you said making circle with your wand, spluttering as felt your nose constrict. You heard Sirius snort beside you and you glared at him trying again and again. You took a deep breath. You could do this. You imagined drowning and needing air immediately.
“et spirare!” you tried again, as a funny feeling eloped your mouth and nose.
“Ahhhh Miss Malfoy! Amazing! Everyone, look at the perfect bubble head charm by her. 10 points to Ravenclaw.” You smiled, at least you did one thing right today.
***
Sirius groaned walking to his next class.
“Mate, she never notices me! Like I am sitting beside her thinking how perfect she is. She missed like a quarter of the class and yet was the first one performing a NEWT level charm! How does she do that?” Sirius ranted.
“Sirius, she studies like, a lot. I’ve seen her in the library, she studies hard.” Remus said, patting Sirius’s shoulder.
“I mean, yeah. She’s always been like that. When Reg and I used to have fun in our language classes, she used to be the one actually learning. I just wish she noticed me. Others do, why can’t she?”
***
“Reg.” you poked Regulus on his shoulder. Regulus kept his head down on the table.
“Reg.” you whined.
“What.” Regulus grunted making you chuckle.
“Come on, you’re my best friend, let’s get out of this library for a while.”
“What happened to studying hard?” he said turning his head towards yours.
“We do that all the time. I’m tired, you’re tired. We NEED to get out.”
“Fine.” Regulus said getting up.
The two of you went towards the black lake and sat near the edge silently. That’s how it was between the two of you. You both did talk a lot, but there were so many times you just sat together; not talking; just letting the calm elope you. You never had to say things for Regulus to understand. He knew you like the back of his hand. Even though, Sirius and you were of same age, you felt more connected with Regulus. On first glance, people would think you were together with Sirius because you both laughed and joked around. It was indeed good to be with Sirius, he made you feel lighter. But that’s all it was. Friendly flirty fun. Regulus however, made you feel complete. You had fallen in love with him. Not that you dared to say it out loud.
You loved his cute face, his cute smile. It could just bright up your day. You held pride in the fact Regulus opened up around you. He was hella sarcastic and could make you roll out in laughter when he ranted about a thing or a certain person. It was tough to feel bad for him then because he go on and on with his dry sense of humor that brought actual tears to your eyes. And he wouldn’t even notice it, deep in his reverie.
“What!” Regulus snapped seeing you holding your stomach cackling.
“Mannn you just said, ‘Yes, sir. That’s wonderful not at all blatantly thick. Want me to lick your shoes?’ And you expect me to not laugh?” You said wiping tears in your eyes, making Regulus blush.
How could someone not adore him?
As you lay on the grass beside him, you wondered what it would be like to be with him. To hold his hand, to kiss him. You shook yourself.
“Regulus would you remain friends with me after hogwarts?” you said looking at the bright blue sky.
“What?” he said looking at you.
“I mean you know I am going to run away. Would you still talk to me after?” you asked.
“(Y/n), I would always be your friend, until you allow me to. I would never let you go.” Regulus said making you look at him. His answer both constricted and warmed your heart.
“Friend, yeah.” You mummered.
“What?” Regulus asked furrowing his brows.
“Nothing. Isn’t it a beautiful day?”
***
Regulus groaned in frustration on reaching his room. I would always be your friend. Bloody friend. That was the last thing he wanted. It didn’t help that he loved you so damn much that his heart fluttered on seeing you. You were so damn beautiful, not to mention intelligent and funny too. He wondered what it would be like to caress your face, to kiss those soft lips, have you pull his hair he left kisses on your neck. You were the only person he allowed to see truly. Yet, it wasn’t enough to tell you that he liked you much more than a friend. Besides, no matter how much you denied it, it always felt like you liked Sirius. And that hurt as hell.
***
You were sitting in the library, studying. Why wasn’t Regulus here till now? He said he would meet you in the library at your spot.
“(Y/n)!” came a voice and you turned to see Sirius giving you his signature smirks.
“Hey Sirius,” you said giving him a small smile.
“I need help with the bubble head charm. Help me, please?” he said making you giggle.
“Okay.” You said gesturing to the seat near you.
You slowly explained Sirius the charm. He made petty jokes on the subject making you laugh. As he finally accomplished it he let out a sigh of relief thanking you.
“I couldn’t have done it without you, my love.” Sirius said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You blinked. Sirius never called anyone, ‘my love’. And the gesture seemed just too intimate. Was he… was this more than just innocent flirting?
“Sirius,” you said softly treading how to tell him lightly. “Sirius, I hope you know that I see you as a friend. I… I always thought this was friendly flirting. I am in love with someone else”
Sirius face fell.
“Oh.” He said before stirring himself. He should be happy for you. He had seen you grow up with him, and knew admitting that you liked, even more so loved someone was a hard thing for you to do. He gently smiled at you.
“I hope he or she knows how lucky they are.” He said packing his books and leaving.
If only he knew just how much you loved him. You looked at the clock. Regulus still wasn’t here. He never did this. Never bailed out on you before telling you. You stood up, deciding to visit him.
***
“Reg?” you said after knocking his door and hearing a faint ‘come in’.
Regulus sat on the edge of his bed looking out of the window.
“We had a study session today.” You said sitting beside him. He just nodded.
“Can you at least tell me why you weren’t there?” you asked.
“I thought you and Sirius were enjoying yourselves.” He said looking straight ahead. You frowned.
“He just asked me to teach him the bubble head charm. And you know I would have had more fun with you.” You said looking at him. He stared at the ground.
“Reg, What’s wrong?” you asked. You hated that he was shutting down on you. He never did that.
“Reg, please at least tell me what’s going on your mind?” You said sitting down in front of him.
Regulus gulped. He wanted to scream, ‘the thing is I am in love with you.’ Was it not obvious?
“You’re in love with me?” you croaked. Regulus’s eyes widened.
“Did I… did I say that out loud?” he whispered.
“Yes, yes you did.” You said making his mind reel. Shit. What if she doesn’t love me back? He was so damn open around you that he just uttered what he thought. Did he ruin your friendsh-
He stopped thinking as he felt your lips on his. He froze. As he realized, you were in fact kissing him, he cupped your face moving his lips along your plush ones making them red. You tugged at his hair and he released a moan. As you both pulled away flustered and breathless from the kiss, you cupped his face.
“I love you too, Regulus.”
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A/N: This was written for the lovely @hariosborn. Here is the request. Now the reader couldn’t be a twin as Lucius was much much older than Sirius. I would love it if you could let me know if I did it right.
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ashes-and-ashes · 5 years ago
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So blame @jilylicious for getting me into Jegulus!! This is my first time writing this ship so I hope it’s okay ❤️❤️
~
The sun has nearly set by the time James makes it up to the roof. The sight of him is like a balm to Regulus’ frayed nerves, the faint stars arranged around his head like a halo. He kicks his feet idly, the ground hundreds of miles away and wondered what would happen if he fell.
The cigarette lies next to him, the tip a glowing red in the shadows. Regulus didn’t smoke but the acrid burn reminded him of Sirius, both warm and bitter as it poured down his throat. He flicks it aside as James joins him, the familiar heat of his body as he flung his arm around Regulus.
“Sorry,” he says, and God even his voice is comforting, like the first beams of sunlight on a cold day. Regulus finds himself sinking into it, bit by bit, the taste of honey on his lips, desperately trying to remember each precious moment they had together. “McGonagall kept us all behind after dinner. Wanted to talk about - “
“Your horrible idea for a prank?” Regulus says drily, and James throws back his head and laughs. “Really though. A live lion at the finals?”
James snorts. “Oh that’s rich. Don’t give me that bullshit. If there was any feasible way that Slytherin could bring a live snake to the Quidditch finals then you lot absolutely would. Horrible idea my ass.”
Regulus smiles. He watches the sun slowly dip into the lake, all streaks of rose gold and turquoise, the ripples of the lake capped in bronze. For a moment he thinks he could live like this; up on the roof with the wind in his face and James at his side, the taste of smoke and the memory of his brother.
It was too easy to forget, sometimes. A year, a gorgeous year wrapped up in bits of silk and ragged satin and all Regulus could do was burn. The war was coming closer now - everyone knew it. He was bound to it, like a sailor on a sinking ship watching the waves crashing down.
Regulus shivers and James looks down at him in concern. He wraps his arms tighter around Regulus’ shoulders; Regulus closes his eyes against the press of fingers into his skin.
“How’s my brother?” he asks. James’ face darkens.
“He’s okay,” he says tightly. “But you need to talk to him. He’s...he’s - “
“Killing himself?” Regulus asks quietly. The look on James’ face confirms it. Regulus knows his brother all too well, the self loathing and the hatred and the casual self-destructiveness. Sirius would be killing himself for leaving.
“Yes.” The words are clipped - it’s the closest Regulus has seen to James losing control. “Yes. He is killing himself. It’s been 5 months and he’s still broken.”
Regulus bites his lip, as if that brief stab of pain could compare to the pain Sirius felt. “It’ll take time. He never could let things go.”
“No,” James agrees. “If you would just talk to him - “
“I told you.” Regulus shakes his head, suddenly feeling very tired. “Not until he promises to never come back.”
“You know he‘ll never do that. He loves you too much.”
Regulus scoffs. “If the cost of my brother’s safety is to never speak to him again then it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”
James swallows, hard. Regulus tracks the movement, the soft flexing of his throat, the small pinpricks of light high up in the sky, reflected against the lenses of James’ glasses and against the pupil of his eye.
“Besides,” he says, softly. “He has a new family now. You and Peter. And Remus. He loves Remus, doesn’t he? Who cares if I’m dying if he’s happy?”
“That’s why you’re stronger than me,” James says, so softly that Regulus can barely hear him. “I could never.”
Regulus allows himself a bitter smile, even as his heart clenches. “I saw you with Lily today.”
“Oh.” James says. Regulus doesn’t think he imagined the blush that spread across his face. “Yeah. Lils.”
He thinks his heart is breaking. Regulus looks down, suddenly grateful for the cover of darkness, the way it hid the cracks in his expression. James’ face pales, his hand shooting out to grab Regulus’.
“No,” he says, squeezing tight. “Reg. I wouldn’t - I would never cheat - “
“I know,” Regulus whispers. “Believe me, I know.”
The skin on his forearm throbs slightly, a brutal reminder of the Mark that would appear there one day. James ghosts over it with his fingertips, a familiar motion, something he’s done countless of times before.
“What’s wrong?” he breathes, and God it makes Regulus want to cry, the softness and gentleness in his expression. Never again, he thinks, and it hurts. I’ll never find someone like this again.
“James,” Regulus whispers and he cups James’ cheek, the paleness of his skin so vivid against the coffee tones of James’s face.
He wishes he could freeze it, this precious moment before the world came spinning down in broken shards and shattered glass, before the fire and the brimstone and the ash. Regulus takes a deep breath, holds it, the taste of smoke on his tongue, in his hair and against his skin.
“The year’s almost up,” he whispers.
James flinches back, his eyes widening. “Not yet,” he breathes. “We still have a week.”
Regulus smiles softly. He remembers that day - on the Hogwarts Express, pressed up against the wall, James’ lips against his neck. One year. Just give us one year.
God it felt like an eon ago. Regulus stares at the sky and wishes he could be back there, the feeling of the wall against his back, James’ hands in his hair, the odd sense of time stopping as he nodded. One year.
“James,” he says, and drops his hands. “Let go.”
“No,” James breathes, his voice cracking. “No. This can’t - we can’t just - “
Regulus takes a deep breath. “Jamie,” he says, and this time his voice breaks, breaks like he swore it wouldn’t, cracks in half until it sounds raw and painful like the beating of his heart. “Jamie we promised. We promised. It never could have lasted anyway - we’re just not meant to be. There’s a war - “
“Fuck the war,” James replies viciously, his voice sounding as raw as Regulus’. “Fuck the war and fuck the Mark and fuck your parents. Reg, please, I don’t - I don’t want to - “
“You think I want to either?” Regulus smiles through his tears. “You think - “ He cuts himself off, swallowing hard. “James, this isn’t - this wasn’t supposed to last forever. You’re deserve better. This wasn’t - it’s not real, Jamie. It’s a hallucination - a pipe dream. We weren’t meant to be forever.”
“And what if I want it to?” James asks fiercely. He lunges forward, gripping Regulus’ hand in his own and it’s one of the things he always loved about James, why he fell in love with him in the first place. “Reg, I love you. God, I love you. We could - I already told you. You could run. Like Sirius - my mother would take you in, I know she would.”
“I know,” Regulus says softly. “But you know I can’t.”
James stares up at him, the green in his eyes like bits of emerald, still so bright even as the shadows lengthened. “So that’s it then,” he says, his voice more bitter than Regulus has ever heard it. “That’s it. One year and we’re done. See you on the battlefield?”
Regulus flinches back and James goes pale. “Fuck. No, Reg, I didn’t mean it - “
“I know,” he breathes. “I know.” He coughs, the smoke suddenly filling his lungs, the grip of James’ hand against his own like an anchor against the tearing waves. “James. I...I had everything planned out. Since I was 12. Get Sirius out. Take the Mark. Fight until I was killed, or until someone caught me or...I don’t know. I never...planned past then.” He takes a shaking breath. “But then I met you. And God, it was like I was falling. I met you and I loved you and I still do. I still love you.”
“Then stay,” James hisses. “Stay. This isn’t your war - it never really was. Stay and run and don’t look back.”
“Do you think you could be happy?” Regulus asks, and James closes his eyes. “Because I think you can. I’ll leave and it’ll hurt and you’ll be broken but only for a little bit. She loves you, you know. Lily. And I think you love her too.”
“It’s not the same,” James breathes. “It’s not - it’s different - “
Regulus smiles. “I know. God, I know. But you’ll find someone else. Someone better.”
James shakes his head, his eyes full of tears. “Reg, don’t do this. You don’t have to - “
“You know I do,” Regulus says softly, and then he’s kissing James, like that first time so long ago, underneath the stars like he’s always wanted. It’s something he’s always taken for granted; the heat of James’ body, the mess of curls under his fingertips and the gentleness, so soft compared to the pain he was used to back at home.
But where all of there kisses before had been a hello this kiss felt like a goodbye. They could both taste it, bitter on their lips and Regulus blinks away the tears and tastes salt.
He finally breaks away. They’re both crying, the tears on James’ face like streaks of starlight and Regulus wonders why someone never looked as beautiful as they did when they were leaving.
“Be happy James,” he says softly, even as his heart broke. “For both of us.”
“Regulus,” James says, but Regulus has already turned away.
He doesn’t let himself look back.
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messers-moony · 3 years ago
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Moony Wants, Moony Gets | R.L
Paring: Young!Remus Lupin X Slytherin!Fem!Reader
Summary: Moony has a natural wanting for his mate making his possessiveness visible the closer it gets to the full moon. 
He was always jealous. Blame it on the wolf in him, if you will, but Remus Lupin was highly possessive. Especially over what’s his - maybe not even what’s his but what he wants. She was gorgeous and his perfect mate—long tuffs of h/c hair and gleaming e/c eyes that glittered in the limelight. There was one problem with her, though—one major flaw in her mess of perfection. 
Y/n L/n, cunning, ambitious, resourceful, and charismatic. 
That was the problem. Y/n was a Slytherin, and Remus was a half-blood Gryffindor. To make matters worse, her closest friend was Regulus Black - Sirius Blacks brother. Remus’ best friend's brother. But Remus couldn’t help it. Her voice was like a siren's call, and her beauty was a rival to Aphrodite, but she had the wisdom of Athena. Y/n was a perfect balance of everything. 
Closer to the full moon, his possessiveness became more of a problem. Sirius was noticing the low growl that would erupt from Remus whenever someone stepped close to Y/n. James saw the lingering glares left on any male within a six feet distance of her. Even Peter observed his green eyes turn a shade darker as if someone mixed black paint into his usually bright eyes. 
Y/n sat at the Slytherin table, a cup of coffee beside her as she spoke intently with Regulus. Meanwhile, a Gryffindor across the Great Hall was glaring daggers at the younger Black brother's head. Sirius nudged him, grabbing his attention. 
“Mate, you’re growling again.” Sirius whispered, and Remus’ cheeks turned pink, “Am not.”
James gave an unconvincing grin, “Mhm, totally.”
“I was not growling.”
“I think you were.” James replied, “Definitely was.” Sirius added. 
Remus sighed, pushing his plate away to lay his head on the table, “What’s got Moony all wound up?” James queried, Remus, deadpanned looking at the laughing girl across the room. 
“I think I know.” Sirius simpered, “Do you now? Don’t be a tosser.” James stated teasingly. 
“Turn around. Slytherin, talking with Reggie.” 
He turned and looked back at Remus with his jaw dropped, “No- fucking- way.”
“What?”
“She’s the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, you tosser!” 
“Oh…”
James snorted, “Yeah, oh.”
“Looks like Moony found his mate.” Sirius winked, and Remus groaned, “Shut up about it, will you?”
“Never.” 
It felt weird. James wouldn’t shut up about how brilliant Y/n was, how the Slytherin’s Quidditch team was able to make plays that no one else would’ve even thought about. Sirius wouldn’t stop offering to talk to Regulus to see if maybe he had any intel on her. Strangely enough, Peter was silent but had a guilty look on his face. Guilty sufficient for Remus to comment. 
“Why do you look guilty, Wormtail?” Remus inquired, and Peter's cheeks flushed pink, “She- Y/n isn’t- um….” 
“What do you know that we don’t, Peter?” Sirius queried, his voice harsh, “She isn’t what you think. That’s all I’m saying.” Peter stammered out nervously. 
James tilted his head at the blue-eyed boy, “And you know this how?” 
“She’s my ex-girlfriend.”
“Woah! Hold on a second!” Sirius exclaimed in shock, “When did this happen?!”
“Back in fourth year.” Peter informed, “She seemed nice enough until you start to get serious with her. Y/n’s sharp-tongued and extremely ill-tempered.” 
Sirius sniggered, “Sounds like Moony.”
“Oi!”
“Sorry!”
“So, what does this mean for Remus?” James questioned further, “It doesn’t mean anything. Just be careful. I don’t care if you date her. Means nothing to me.” Peter replied, putting his hands up in innocent. 
Remus stared at Peter with curiosity swirling. How much did he truly know about Y/n? How did he manage to date her? Nonetheless, it didn’t mean anything to Remus because Moony wanted her. What Moony wants is what Moony gets. Later that evening, after prefect patrol, he padded into the library to dismiss any working students. But there were only two students inside. They sat in a secluded corner of the library. Regulus Black and Y/n L/n. 
Was it envy? Was it jealousy? He didn’t have time to ponder. Y/n had her head laid on Regulus’ shoulder and both her arms wrapped around his one arm. Regulus had leaned his head on top of hers, wavy black hair intertwined with her h/c hair. Both their eyes were closed, apparent they were asleep—potion and Transfiguration books placed on top of the wooden table along with an open sketchbook. 
What was he supposed to do in this situation? Wake them up? If it was just Y/n, perhaps he could’ve, but Regulus was with her, and Regulus wasn’t too fond of Remus for being friends with his older brother. Madam Pince had already left for the night, either choosing not to disturb them or didn’t notice them. Remus saw the inkpot beside the Potions book, almost empty. It was Y/n’s inkpot because the ink wasn’t black. It was a deep grape color. 
Remus sighed and grabbed the ink from his bag, charming it the same color. Discretely he took hers and swapped it out with his. Leaving a piece of parchment on top. Remus left the library without another word. Waking them up was a risk he’d rather not take. But now, he laid in his bed wondering how she’d feel about the new ink on the table. 
The sun began to rise, and Y/n’s body felt stiff. Carefully she began to stir awake after noticing a body beside her. Opening her eyes, everything seemed blurry, but after blinking a few times, she recognized the library books and the person's scent beside her. Regulus, her best friend. Y/n yawned and pulled away from him, about to begin packing their belongings, but she noticed a piece of parchment that lay on top of her ink. 
“Noticed you were out. You can have mine.“ 
Y/n hummed appreciatively. She didn’t know who gave her their ink, but she was eternally grateful for them saving her a trip to Hogsmeade. Y/n poked at Regulus’ right side, and he eventually stirred awake. His curls disheveled and his body just as stiff as she was. Regulus opened his eyes and met her e/c ones. 
“Did we fall asleep?” He groaned, and Y/n scoffed, “What do you think, dingus?”
“No need to be mean this early in the morning, Merlin.” 
“Someone saw us last night, though.” Y/n stated, and Regulus noticeably jumped, “Who?”
She shrugged, “Not sure, but they left me a new pot of ink.”
“Lucky you.”
“Lucky me.”
Both best friends cleared their table. Y/n put her Potions books away, and Regulus put his Transfiguration books away. Y/n stared at the writing on the parchment she had received earlier that day. The handwriting was almost unrecognizable. It was messy and sprawled. Whoever this was did not have good handwriting or was in a rush. But the day carried on. In Potions, Y/n sat in the front while the Marauders sat in the back. Remus stared holes in the back of Y/n’s head. 
“She’s gonna notice if you keep staring at her like that.” Sirius muttered. 
Remus sighed and continued to write his notes. If he tried hard enough, he could make out her elegant purple ink from here. It always baffled him why she chose purple over traditional black - suppose it wasn’t really any of his business, but he couldn’t help but wonder. The familiar sketchbook sat on top of the desk as well; he could see doodles in the same deep purple color. Occasionally Regulus - who sat beside her - would nudge her to pay attention, gaining an annoyed groan. 
Potions class always smelt weird. It was a mixture of glue, seaweed, and salt. It was also constantly humid. It brought shivers down Remus’ spine. He noticed it doing the same to the Slytherin girl at the front. Remus craved nothing more than to wrap his robe around her, but he was too late. Regulus was already doing the action, which earned him one of her jaw-dropping smiles. Unconsciously he began growling again. This time, James smacked his arm. 
“Mate!” 
“Sorry…” 
Dinner was even worse. Y/n had yet to remove Regulus’ robes leaving him in a button-down white shirt and the usual uniform. Sirius was surprised at his younger brother's chivalry but didn’t speak much. The full moon was that night, and as dinner progressed, Remus only gained more possessive. James and Sirius gave up on trying to scold him. It was apparent Moony wanted - no - needed her. Slytherin captain be damned, Y/n was going to be Moonys. 
A dry winter night. As usual, Remus walked to the Whomping Willow with his three friends following him. Tonight was normal in the sense of his friends turning into their animagus,’ but the odd thing was letting him out of the shack. The werewolf and the dog ran around the forest together. The rat and stag lagging behind, allowing the two animals to play together. But a stick-breaking brought the attention of the werewolves to the new person. 
He could smell them. Hear their blood running through their veins. Their heart pounding at a standard rate. The dogs barking could be heard, trying to distract the werewolf. The scent was female, and she wasn’t scared. Instead, the girl approached with confidence sticking out her hand to the wolf. Padfoot barked loudly. Prongs backed down, looking nervous. Wormtail squeaked loudly. But she came with confidence and assurance. 
Moony growled, “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” She cooed, “You’re safe with me.”
The h/c haired girl knelt on the grass, “No need to be scared, I’m not going to hurt you.”
Moony hesitantly put his snout in the girl's palm, making her grin. His fur was soft to the touch, and his eyes turned soft. Her smile was beautiful, and Moony nuzzled his hand into her soft palm. She chuckled and patted him more. Padfoot barked excitedly and ran to her, but the werewolf started to bare his teeth again. 
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m yours.” 
The wolf seemed to calm down at her words allowing Padfoot to approach her. Smiling brightly, she pet both animals, “It’s okay, love.”
“My name’s Y/n. I didn’t know that there was a werewolf here.” Y/n greeted as Moony curled up beside her, his head on her thigh, Padfoot doing the same on the other side.
She caught sight of the other two animals and whistled for their attention, “C’mere.”
Prongs and Wormtail approached nervously, but Moony gave no sense of protectiveness. Y/n’s words resonated in his head over and over again, “I’m yours.” The wolf fell asleep beside her, Padfoot doing the same. Prongs approached, and Y/n patted the top of his head. Wormtail sat in front of her knee. They seemed at peace. It was the first time Moony ever felt at ease. They’d be lying if it didn’t make them happy. 
Y/n stayed up all night with the animals. Despite the animals not knowing, Y/n knew that the stag, rat, and dog were animagus’. The werewolf was unknown to her. The following morning when the stag turning into James, rat into Peter, dog into Sirius. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to find out who the werewolf was. When he turned back into a human with his clothes tattered. Y/n continued to run her fingers through his hair as he slept. 
“Morning, Marauders,” Y/n commented. 
“You’re- you-“ James stuttered.
She laughed, “Apparently, your moony really likes me.”
“Would you mind petting me again?” Sirius teased, “Maybe.” Y/n retorted, winking. 
Sirius laid down on her other thigh that Remus wasn’t laying on, smiling; she ran her fingers through their hair, “You’re a godsend, lemme tell you.”
James and Peter sat in front of Y/n, “What made you want to take a walk in the forbidden forest last night?”
“Just wanted some air.” Y/n answered. 
Remus groaned and began pushing his head onto Y/n’s hand, “Morning, Remus.”
The Marauders and Y/n had never seen him jump up that fast, “What- you- I- uh-“
“Didn’t know you were a werewolf.”
“I- uh…”
“Sirius, for the love of God, get off her lap.” James interject, slapping the boy on the head playfully, “But it feels so good.” Sirius drawled. 
James grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the grass. In the process, Sirius got a mouthful of dirt and grass, “You wanker.”
“Did I- erm- hurt you?” Remus questioned shyly, “Nope, I'm completely unscathed.” Y/n smiled reassuringly. 
Remus turned to his friends, “Nope! Y/n saved us all.”
“Are you hurt?” Y/n inquired to Remus, who took a quick look at himself, “I- I don’t believe so….”
Sirius blew a raspberry, “Thank Merlin! Dragging you to the hospital wing is bloody exhausting.”
Silence filled the forest until Sirius smirked, “You know, mate when you were talking about Moony wanting her. I thought you were joking. Turns out you weren’t.”
“Oi!”
“Oh, Merlin…”
Y/n chuckled, “Well, Moony is rather cute if I’m honest.”
Remus’ cheeks blasted with pink, and Sirius laughed. James shook his head with a big grin, and Peter looked amused with Y/n’s confession. Without hesitation, Y/n leaned over to kiss Remus’ cheek, making him hide his face flustered. She stood up and ruffled Sirius’ hand, gently rubbing her nails across his scalp, making Sirius try to lean into her palm. They all stared at her except for Remus, who was equally embarrassed and flustered. 
“If you’re looking for a fifth Marauder, I know the Slytherin common room password.” Y/n winked as she walked to the castle. 
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