#Sirius Black x you
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inkdrinkerworld · 2 days ago
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now i want the sirius version of can't pay the mortgage trend 😭
Sirius smirks when you climb into his lap and wrap your arms around his waist.
“Siri, m’really sorry but I can’t pay the mortgage this month.”
Sirius hums, kissing your forehead as he continues scrolling on his phone. “The world will keep turning, poppet. It’ll be handled.”
You sigh, kissing under his chin. “But I feel really bad.”
Sirius rolls his eyes. He decides he’ll play along.
“We’ll have to mind how we spend the rest of our money then, won’t we.” You hide a smile, Sirius grins fully. “Maybe no more sweet treats.”
You gasp, Sirius’ fingers dig into your sides, tickling you completely.
“No sweet treats is a crime!” You squirm in Sirius’ lap but he’s got a firm hold on you.
“You’re the one acting like we’re desolate.” You grab his wrist and hold it still, catching your breath.
“It’s a thing on the internet, wanted to see what you’d say.”
Sirius rolls his eyes, a light grey to them that reminds you so much of early morning fog.
“Was it sufficient? Said the world would keep turning, which it will.” He stamps a kiss to your cheeks. “Don’t need you worrying about all that.”
You smile and shrug, “I don’t really, just as long as I get a sweet treat a week.”
Sirius pulls you so you’re upright in his lap, tucking you under his arm. “You’re taken care of, poppet. Have a breath.”
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777heavengirl · 2 days ago
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the one with the picture
sirius black x reader ! - 2,084 words masterlist bags masterlist A/N: IM BACK IM BACK IM BACK also sorry its so late at night hectic day xoxo i hope you enjoy!! don't forget to drop a little reblog or even just comment guys!! it is so very appreciated and it lets me know y'all want more!
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“Ready to become uncles?” You asked, a yawn following your words. 
Remus smiled at you, soft and sleepy from the couch facing yours. His cane rested on the arm of the couch, abandoned for the comfort of the shitty hospital seat. Remus nodded wordlessly.
“I reckon I’ll be a terrible uncle,” Peter gruffed as he shook the box of candies into his mouth, emptying it “I have nothing to teach this bloody baby-”
“I don’t think anyone expects you to teach him anything Wormtail-” Sirius pipped up with a laugh from the corner where he paced in circles, head swiveling towards the room James and Lily were in as a nurse hurried out of it.
You ignored the bustling of nurses, you had long learned by now that unless you saw James, it probably didn’t mean anything.
“Why on Merlin’s green earth did they decide to give birth in a muggle hospital-” Peter groaned into his hands, the hours of waiting bearing down on him.
“Lily refused to do a home birth remember? St Mungo’s doesn't exactly do the whole birth thing- ” Remus muttered from the small beige sofa he had curled up in, long legs spilling from the edge of the cushions. You wondered if he was comfortable, but his eyes were closed and he had barely moved in the past two hours so you assumed on some level he probably was. Well, between his cardigan and long pants, he was at least doing better than you. You could feel your skin start erupting in goosebumps from the cold.
It had been a blur really, the furious knocking at your door at the hands of Peter, and haphazardly putting on the first thing you found after basically clawing off the stuffy funeral dress. You didn’t even have enough time to grab a jacket, barely putting on shoes as Remus and Peter swept you off to the muggle hospital. A shiver ran down your spine as you cursed the pajama shorts and stupid t-shirt you had thrown on. 
You could feel Sirius’s grey eyes on you, staring straight into the side of your head. But you refused to look, instead burying your face further into your hands. You didn’t notice he had moved until he was right next to you- 
“Take it-” Sirius handed you his suit’s jacket, basically shoving it into your arms so you couldn't say no. “You’re going to get sick,” You stared at it, fingers softly squeezing the soft material. He sat next to you. 
The small, beige couch you had chosen to sit on was much like the one you had when you were freshly moved in. It lived in your home for a measly two weeks before Euphemia decreed that no child of hers would have such a stiff abomination in her watch. It was hard and restricting. The two of you might as well have been sitting on a wooden bench. But neither of you dared to move, so you sat, silently, both wishing Euphemia could save you from the clutches of the rigid couch.
Sirius thought of the sofa. And when you first moved in. Together and bright-eyed, he had been so in love with you then. He reckons he still was. But now he knew there was no hope of you loving him back.
He cursed the couch silently.
“Put it on,” he sighed as he leaned back, his white button-up shifting as he threw his arm over the backrest. “Don’t be stubborn-”
You huffed as you put it on, “thanks…”
“Don’t mention it,” you leaned back too, the back of your neck close to his arm, almost touching but quite. “Did you bring my camera?” you nodded, but he didn't answer back. 
You couldn’t stand the distance between you, a thick jelly of silence that was anything but peaceful. You dreaded going home, you dreaded having to face that your best friend, the boy you so dearly loved was upset with you.
Especially over something so petty. What did he care that you had a job? Your own life? Something to do that wasn’t shared with him? It was rather selfish of him, wasn’t it? You could almost hear your father spew that sentence from the darkest pits of your mind. 
You stared at the small bag in Sirius’s hand. You didn’t know why you hadn’t taken notice of it before. He clutched the small velvet bag tightly. Did it have an extension charm? You wondered if it was his things then, had he carried that to the funeral? You thought you would’ve noticed. Had he been planning on staying at James’s? Had he cleared his things at some point without you noticing? 
You rubbed circles into the palm of your hand and chewed at your lip worryingly. 
If your father knew he’d call you stupid. Stupid for not looking for an apartment to move out, stupid for not being the first to leave, irresponsible, too trusting, so stupid.
You decided you maybe didn’t want to know if he was indeed planning to leave. 
“Hey-” he shifted uncomfortably “do you think we can talk about... you know, everything”
“Sirius I don’t know if it's the time-” You refused to even take a peek at him, even though you knew he was staring right at you now. 
“Well, Merlin knows how much longer we’re going to be here-” he was right, you had all been here for ages waiting for the baby to come “so yeah it might be the time,” 
You sighed, finally turning to look at him. His stupid shiny grey eyes, and his stupid porcelain skin. His stupid stupid frowning lip. He’d deny he was sporting one if you called him out on it. 
He had always been a pouty one.
You were mad. At least you wanted to be, but when you looked at him, in all his disheveled glory, the hair he had run his hand through a thousand times, the white button-up with the top buttons undone and that had been unconsciously untucked from his slacks. You just couldn’t be genuinely mad.
So you softened, finally moving to face him. Your knee knocked against his, his warmth transferring from his leg onto your skin.
“I’m sorry, for being so petty earlier- it was unfair and-” Sirius sighed, staring at your hand on your lap. His fingers twitched with the need to hold yours, to feel your no doubt freezing fingers between his warm ones.
He thought of your first week of living together again.
He grabbed your hand. You stared at the bag in his other hand again.
Like if you stared at it hard enough it would tell you its contents. But your thoughts drifted as your soft fingers were enveloped in his. Yet, you didn’t say anything, you didn’t dare. You squeezed his hand and he finally looked up, back from whatever thought he had briefly gotten lost in. 
“I’m really sorry about the past few weeks-”
“I’m sorry too,”
“I just wish you could trust me enough to let me take care of you- there’s no one else in the world I’d rather spend my days with…” You swallowed thickly as he spoke “I love you-”
“My baby’s here!” James burst through a door down the hallway, cheering at the top of his lungs without caring about the nurse shushing him. “He’s here and he’s beautiful come on you lot- come on!”
Sirius quickly scrambled to his feet, the other two boys following in the chaos of unsticking themselves from their respective sofas. You tried to ignore it, the sting in your heart. You loved him too of course. But did he love you the way you loved him? 
There simply wasn't any time for that right now.
Sirius didn’t let go of your hand; he simply pulled, pulled until you came up with him. His hand grabbed tightly onto yours and as you ran down the hall, straight for the door to Lily’s room. 
He never once let go of you.
The room was lowly lit, and Lily looked exhausted, but a smile graced her features nonetheless. Sirius tossed the small velvet bag to James with his free hand. The worry of it left your head as quickly as it had come.
Sirius dragged you by your hand all the way up to the bed, his face turning in wonder as he looked at the small baby in Lily’s arms. 
“He’s so small” Peter called out from the foot of the bed,
“He’s so bloody pink-” Sirius glanced at James’s darker skin, a beaming smile nevertheless decorating his face. “Do you reckon he’ll stay like that? Or did he get the redhead’s genes?”
“Oi is that the first thing you have to say about your godson?” James couldn't help but laugh
“My godson?” Sirius stared blankly at James, briefly flickering between Lily’s equally beaming smile and the baby’s little pink face.
“I meant to ask but-” James smiled sheepishly as Lily glared, 
“Merlin he’s my godson”
“Do you want to hold him?” Lily whispered as Sirius’s face broke into a smile as well, 
“Of course, I want to hold my bloody godson Evans- he’s my godson”
Remus chuckled as he patted James on the back. You couldn’t help but wrap your hand around the camera that hung from your wrist.
 You snapped a picture. 
You knew what Sirius would write on the back of it later.
My godson. July 31, 1980
Just simple, and small, in his fancy, loopy cursive and black ink. But monumental in itself. He had done it. He had a family, he had always had one but now he was properly part of it. He was not just a stray taken in, but he now had a part in it. He’d love that baby until his body gave out. 
He knew it, you knew it, James and Lily knew it. From the second he was born, this baby would be the most loved baby on the planet. 
“I can’t believe he’s mine-”
“You don’t get to take him home mate”
“Hush Prongs- I’m going to be his favorite I know it” Sirius smiled, a playful smirk exchanged between friends. James couldn’t help but quip back
“Right after Uncle Moony-” 
“Ah that’s for sure,” Remus laughed 
“I meant his favorite parent but I reckon Wormtail will be the preferred uncle, with all the candy pouring from his pockets the kid is gonna love him no doubt-” You all couldn’t help but laugh-
“Do you want to hold him too?” Lily asked, her gaze shifting onto your face. “I reckon the godmother also deserves to hold baby Harry-”
“Are you serious? 
“Obviously-” 
“Lily are you being serious-”
“Yes! Black hand her the baby- god-” Sirius chuckled as he passed the small bundle into your arms, placing the camera at the foot of the bed. He was heavier than you expected, and the tears gathered in your eyes as you looked at his little face. Harry was small and definitely pink. He was a quiet little thing, undisturbed by the exchange of hands he was going through. Sirius leaned his chin on top of your shoulder, his cheek borderline pressed against yours. 
“Isn’t he the ugliest most precious thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Oi!”
“He’s so ugly it's cute-” His words tickled your ear
“I don’t think babies are supposed to be all that cute straight after birth Sirius-”
“I know love,”
“Alright, picture time idiots-” Remus said, leaning on his cane as he grabbed the camera with his free hand. James sitting on the side of Lily’s bed as you and Sirius also approached, baby Harry still in your arms.
“I look like shit-” You huffed as you sat on the bed with Lily
“I do too”
“Yeah, but you have a reason to Lils” Lily laughed. Sirius’s hand never left your back. 
“Well- he won’t remember anyway-”
“The picture will-”
“Say godparents!” Sirius had basically wrapped himself to your side, his face pressed against yours, his arm around your waist as he leaned down for the picture.
The flash made your eyes sting, a wide smile on your face. 
It was fitting, the disheveled state of the lot of you, even in the picture the nurse would take for you all later. A family sewed together like a mismatched quilt. 
Sirius smiled all night.
“Seriously though why is he so pink? Is this some sort of condition? Bloody baby doesn’t look anything like Prongs-”
“-Yet” James beamed.
My family, July 31, 1980
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LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED U OR IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED (i was gone for like a month and some change so i may have not been able to properly keep up with the tag list but i did my best)
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novvabee · 2 days ago
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And They Were Roommates 10.2
the long awaited friendsgiving part 2! a month late but ya know... also the title is getting kind of hilarious
summary: friendsgiving pt.2
cw: uh... none that I can really think of? maybe a bit of flirting? if there is anything please do let me know!
word count: 2.1k
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Friendsgiving was a hit. It was so incredibly fun getting to know everyone, eating delicious food (you were definitely going to ask Pandora for her pumpkin pasty recipe), and playing so many games. You played a couple rounds of spoons which ended in James and Marlene wrestling for the last spoon and, surprisingly, Marlene won. James claimed she was cheating saying “I had four sevens!” making everyone laugh.
“Gotta be quicker, Potter, I thought you were the ‘best chaser in a generation’” She mocked. You didn’t quite understand, but laughed along with the group, mostly at James’s pout.
As the night went on, you found yourself opening up to the others, becoming fast friends with both Pandora and Dorcas. At one point in the night, Sirius complained that they were stealing you from them. Dorcas just pulled you closer by your shoulders and stuck her tongue out at him. You laughed and let yourself be pulled into Pandora and Dorcas’s embrace. Sirius huffed and walked away.
“So, Y/N” Pandora continued your conversation, “Are you seeing anyone?”
Your eyes widened, surprised by her forwardness. “Oh uh… not exactly.” you chuckled. You looked down at your lap, trying to avoid the awkward feeling that was creeping up.
“Really?,” she asked “But, with looks like yours, I would have thought that you had the boys lining up around the block.” she said, cozying up to you in an attempt to get more out of you. You just shook your head, lowering your gaze and trying to fight back the reddening of your cheeks.
“Well do you at least have your eye on someone?” Pandora asked in her soft airy voice. She had a genuine look of interest in her eyes that combated the look of mischief in Dorcas’s.
You again shook your head, not sure how to answer her, or better, how to not answer her. You were definitely not about to let your heavily guarded crush, or maybe crushes, slip out. Who knows who could hear this conversation. You definitely saw these girls as your friends now, but there is no one close enough to you that you would openly tell who you were secretly crushing on.
Besides, if your little crush got out it could mean ruining your friendships and possibly your entire living situation. Yes, you had a crush on your roommates. Each of your roommates had different reasons that attracted you but, you couldn’t help the warm little feelings you would get when you were around them. You tried your hardest for a long time to ignore that nagging little feeling, to let it go and pretend it meant nothing, but you found yourself feeling like a schoolgirl around them. You had become very close to them very quickly, and somewhere along the way, you realized how genuinely great they were to you, how they treated you. 
You were perfectly content to leave it at just that, just roommates who cared a lot about each other, but you found yourself longing for more. Especially when you found them snuggling under a blanket on the couch while you all watched a movie together or when you came home to find them napping all together. At first you were jealous in these moments, wanting it to be you instead, but then that feeling grew into longing, realizing that you wanted to be right in the middle of it all with them.
You liked all three of the boys equally, which confused you even more. You couldn’t choose one over the other two and possibly throw off the whole dynamic in the house. And then there was the thought of if it didn’t work out, what then.
So you just decided to hold this secret in, try to let it pass.
“Uh… not really.” You lied, shaking your head. Both Pandora and Dorcas looked at you like they didn’t believe you, but didn’t push any further.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw two figures enter you and the other girl's space. It was the blonde boy- Pandora’s twin Evan, and the boy with black hair with green streaks who you had to remember was named Barty. Evan stayed standing while Barty slinked to a cushion on the floor in front of you three girls.
“What are you three talking about?” Barty asked, smiling broadly. He had a nice smile, laced with boyish mischief and charm. It made him look less intimidating for sure.
“Boys,” Pandora said in a sing-song tone. 
“Oooh,” Barty said at the same time that Evan let out a slight “Gross” and walked away to where Lily and Regulus were talking at the table.
Pandora giggled at her twin’s reaction. “We weren’t talking about my love life.” She explained, still a soft chuckle on her words.
“Then who’s?” Barty asked, looking straight at you.
“No one’s,” you said quickly, “there is no love life.” you thought that the topic was dropped but apparently not.
Both Pandora and Dorcas laughed at your quick outburst. You laughed along with them, it was a bit quick, probably sounded so girlish.
Barty let out a soft chuckle of his own. “No love life, huh?” he smiled at you again. His smile was actually… very nice. He was more handsome the more you looked at him. But he was eyeing you like he was trying to figure something out, figure you out.
“Leaver here be, Bartemius.” Dorcas said from beside you, using what you assumed was his real name.
He just threw his hands up in defense and said “I’m not doing anything.”
She squinted her brown eyes at him, letting out a suspicious “Mmmhm…”
He rolled his eyes in response.
The four of you then broke into conversation about other topics, and you were grateful to leave the topic of love lives behind. You all talked about your music tastes which, to your surprise, all three of them shared with you. You talked about your favorite artists, songs, and what upcoming concerts you were excited for or bummed that you had to miss out on.
This led to Pandora starting a story about a concert she had gone to but then about halfway through remembered something she needed to tell James, so she cut her story short by skipping off into the kitchen to find him. You three laughed at her short attention span, but continued on.
The three of you continued talking about some movies then, until Dorcas claimed that she needed a refill of her drink and made her way to the kitchen as well, leaving just you and Barty.
Barty took Pandora’s place on the couch as you two continued talking. Barty was actually a very nice person. You were a little skeptical because of his more… alternative look, but you found that he was really great to talk to, hardly any lulls in the conversation, he knew exactly what questions to ask or what to say to keep the conversation alive and well. 
You two got onto the topic of growing up, he asked where you lived and what kind of school you went to. He listened intently and showed interest in what you had to say. 
“What about you? Where did you grow up?” you turned his own question on him.
“London,” He replied, “But my father had a house in France as well, so I would try to spend as much time there as possible.”
“France?” you asked, shocked. You could only dream of having a second home, let alone a second home somewhere in France. 
He smirked. “Yeah that’s kind of where me, the Blacks, and the Rosiers grew up.” He said.
“Wait, Sirius grew up in France too?” you asked, again shocked and interested in this new revelation. He replied with a nod. “Well, can you all still speak French?”
“Oui,” he replied. You giggled and continued talking to him about traveling and what it was like to grow up in a different country.
“Well where would you want to live?” He asked.
You smiled, feeling that warm feeling in the pit of your stomach again. “Well, I’m pretty content here.” you explained, eyes focusing on your fingers playing with your new ring that Dorcas gave you. 
“Here?” He asked, sounding baffled. “As in here in this house… with those three?” he nodded to the kitchen where you followed the movement to see Remus, Sirius, and James Standing in the doorway, eyes all on you and Barty. They didn’t look too pleased, but didn’t know the cause.
You turned back to your conversation, smiled and nodded. “I like living here… with them.” you said.
Barty looked at you with what seemed to be realization washing over his face. He looked you over, then looked back to the boys over your shoulder, and back to you. You could tell that he caught on to your meaning. He had figured you out. He smirked and nodded, confirming that he did in fact catch on.
“Please don’t say anything.” you said, ready to plead with him. You shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, you weren’t going to tell Dorcas and Pandora, but here you were spilling your secret to a boy who had buttered you up with stimulating conversation for half an hour. 
He made a motion of zipping his lips. You sighed in relief.
“You’re a lucky girl you know.” was all he said.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. “What do you mean?” you asked.
“You’re a very pretty girl. I’m sure they would have you happily.” he replied. You couldn’t stop the blush that creeped up your neck and now blotched your face. 
“I-I don’t, uh.. I don’t know what you mean.” you stuttered out, shaking your head and trying to get him to drop it. Again, you had no idea who could hear your conversation. 
“I just mean, I don’t exactly think that they would have been so quick to let you live here, rent free might I add, if they were not into you, beauty.” He said, giving you a pet name. 
“T-they were just doing a good thing, helping me out” you said, unable to gain your composure between the conversation topic and the subtle flirtation that Barty was conveying with that little nickname. 
He looked at you with raised brows. “And being pretty sure helps,” he finished with a wink.
“Helps with what,” you heard Sirius’s voice from your right side. 
Startled, you quickly turned to him. “Oh- Uh, nothing!” you said a beat too fast. Sirius just stared at Barty, suspicion radiating off of him. This felt like a start to a nightmare. One you may or may not have experienced where your secret was revealed and everything went terribly wrong.
“I was just telling her about a date I had last week,” Barty said, holding Sirius’s eye contact with a smirk plastered on his face. “Isn’t that right Y/N, dear?”
“Oh, yeah!” you said, glad to have a good explanation that wouldn’t raise any alarms with Sirius.
“Anyways, I was just going to grab a drink,” Barty announced, giving you a knowing look. “Would you like anything?” he asked you. You shook your head. “Alright then,” He said, standing and clapping Sirius on the shoulder as he passed him.
Sirius took the opportunity to slide into the spot that Barty was previously occupying. “You alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, why?” you answered.
“You just seem a little jumpy, that’s all.” Sirius said softly, a trace of worry between his brows.
You took a deep breath and smiled. “Yeah I’m fine just, been talking a lot.” you laughed off the nerves, relaxing into the familiar and easy conversation with Sirius. That warm feeling creeping back in, and you allowed it.
“I know,” He said. “ I noticed you mingling quite a bit tonight, I’m proud. I know meeting all these new people at once could have been daunting, but you’ve done great all night.”
You smiled back at him, then rested your head on his shoulder, a normal act that you had done many times by now, but this time it felt so different. Warm and fuzzy, and all your senses wrapped in something distinctly Sirius. 
You yawned and allowed yourself to shut your eyes for a moment. You were getting tired, all the socializing as well as cooking and decorating beforehand had taken its toll. 
“You tired?” Sirius asked. You nodded, head still on his shoulder. “Good now I have an excuse to kick everyone out.”
You snapped your eyes open, Sirius making to stand up. You giggled and pulled on his arm, pulling him back down onto the couch. “No Siri! You can’t blame it on me!” you laughed.
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so... slight marauders jealousy but reader admitted feelings!! as always let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist ❤️
taglist 💌:  @too-efn-old-to-be-here @cometsghost @eeviee4 @giuli-in-earth @spicybearnaise @the-lavender-girl @adharalikethestar @champomiel @itsleroyposts @enamoredwithbella @babymash @ilovejamespottersomuch @liszblog @sammyreid @kiaslily @idkman5335 @willowlovestheweasleys @lady-balem @nislame @latenightreadingpdf @v-loves-frogs @meggishhhh @mooonyxoxo @sodavrr @notmonstersapocalipse @plk-18 @prettylittlewrites @darkloverfox @navs-bhat @lexi2005
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luveline · 7 hours ago
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this request may be a bit of a long shot, but would you be willing to write a drabble for mouth of september? maybe she gives the boys a scare either by going out and then not coming home at the time she said she would or maybe she faints from not having eaten enough? totally okay if you don’t want to or if you want to use this as a prompt for something else, mos has just been one of your fic series that i think about pretty consistently even two-ish years later.
anyway have a great day and hope you’re doing well jadey <3 love u
I love you! me writing this actually did feel like a longshot but not cos I didn’t love it and not cos I don’t love u, I hope you enjoy it!! been so long since I wrote this !!🩵 fem! 4k words
cw suicidal thoughts/suicidal ideation
It’s cold tonight. 
You blow on your fingers, feeling them warm, stiffness lanced for precious few seconds. You didn’t mean to walk so far from the house, not while the wind is racing like this. The corner shop just seemed to move around while you weren’t looking. You should’ve asked Sirius to go with you, he has a better sense of direction, even if he would’ve complained the whole time about the shit weather. 
Remus would’ve come and not complained, but he was sleeping at the time and waking him felt cruel. James would’ve come, racing around in Lily’s car, but then he would’ve followed you back into the house insisting on making you some supper or a cuppa or something, and what you’d wanted was to be alone. A bar of chocolate wouldn’t hurt either. 
Stupid travelling corner shop, you think to yourself. Stupid me for fucking losing it. Should’ve just stayed home. Can’t even walk to the shop. 
You take a deep breath. You give the streets a wretched, embarrassed glare and flop down onto the nearest bench. Fuck’s sake. Lost and freezing to death. 
If Sirius were here, if he heard what you were thinking, he’d frown at you with that dark pinch to his eyes and tell you to Stop it, now. 
He’s maybe half of the reason you’re out of the house tonight. Maybe all of it. It’s all complicated and horrible and everyone thinks it’s a bad idea but the thing is that Sirius himself isn’t complicated, he isn’t horrible. He’s kind to you in funny ways, and when you’re together Sirius makes you feel like you’re someone worth being kind too, which doesn’t happen often. 
Your self annoyance fades to something more familiar soon enough. Everything goes quiet, leaving you there with your heart, quick and slow beating, can’t seem to choose, and your cold feet. Your socks feel too tight. 
Your teeth start to chatter. You can’t sit here forever. 
(But wouldn’t it be better? If you stayed? Caught cold?) 
If you get poorly from the cold, you’ll feel miserable from the moment you wake up. You’ll be ill at work, which will make work worse. You’ll have to stay in your room so you don’t get one of the boys sick, and that really would ruin your week. Nothing means anything if you don’t get to see your best friends. 
You gather yourself up and turn toward the street you’d just walked down, determined to retrace your steps. 
In the distance, a familiar shape is jogging toward you. 
“Y/N?” James shouts, sounding as though all the breath in the world has been sucked from his lungs. He doesn’t stop jogging until he gets a few feet from you, where he bends to catch his breath. “Fucking hell!” His head snaps up. “Fuck, shortcake, are you alright?” 
You close the distance. “I’m fine.” 
“Are you?” He forces himself to stand, breathing hard as he grabs you by the wrist. “Are you okay? You scared me so badly.” 
You grab his arm back. “I’m really fine, I’m fine, what’s wrong?” 
“You’re what’s wrong, you aren’t home!” James swallows a lump. “You left a note, you’d be home by seven. It’s nearly ten. Remus rang me in a fit ‘cos he didn’t know where you’d gone, we thought–” James gives you an imploring look, though it’s so so sorry at the same time, you feel your stomach twist into a hard knot. “We thought you were having a bad night.” 
“James.” Embarrassment makes you soft-toned. “I’m really sorry I scared you, but I got lost, that’s all.” You don’t really like to lie, only James seems to need to hear it. “I’m glad you found me. I was worried I wouldn’t get home.” 
James gives a breathy laugh. “Oh, good.” 
You’re pulled into a hug. 
“Sorry,” you say. 
“No, it’s okay.” He rubs your back with force. It feels more for him than you, though you don’t exactly mind it. You can pretend as much as you want that you don’t like it when the boys give you affection, but they know it’s not true, and they know it’s alright to give it to you most days. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine as long as you’re fine.” 
“Fine,” you say. 
He pulls away. “Oh, god. Alright, let’s go back to the house. It’s freezing, you’re not wearing a proper coat?” 
“I didn’t plan on being out long.” 
“No?” 
He takes you by the shoulder to encourage you back the way you came. “Just wanted some chocolate,” you say. 
“I’ll get you some.” 
You both know it doesn’t add up. James doesn’t make you say much else, relieved you’re alright, and you fester in the guilt of worrying him so harshly. 
“Where are your glasses?” you ask. 
“I forgot them in the car.” 
“Where is the car?” 
“Remus thought you might’ve gone to the library, you were supposed to take that Sky-Fi back.” 
“Sci-fi.” 
“Right, the space books. He took it to see if you were walking home, I said I’d come this way, and Sirius…” James grimaces. “Not sure where he went. He was already out by the time I got to the house.” 
“How are we gonna find him?” 
“He’ll come back eventually.” 
You stick close to James’ side, dodging crisped up leaves and following him down the dropped kerb and finally onto a familiar road. “Guess I’ve lived here so long, I should’ve known the way,” you say. 
“It’s alright.” 
You bite your cheek for a second. “I’m really sorry, James, I– I didn’t– is it really ten?” 
“…Aren’t you cold?” he asks softly. 
“I didn’t think about it.” 
“I wish you would.” He pokes his tongue against his cheek. “I want to know if you’re having a bad night. It’s alright if you were. If you need more time, more help, it’s okay.” 
“It’s not like that… not all of it. I was walking to the shops, I swear. Just feel so,” —your voice slips into a colour of shame you despise— “weird sometimes. I’m sorry I made you worry. I don’t know why I keep doing this.” 
“Is this a common occurrence?” 
“Not the walk, just. Just this. Making you worry. I didn’t mean to make everybody worry.” 
“Well, I am worried. When you disappear for a couple more hours than you say you will, it’s scary.” James gives you a shrug. “I love you, I’m gonna wonder where you are.” 
“But–”
“I worry about Sirius when he goes to the pub until who knows when, worry about Lils when she does too many hours at work. I worry about Remus every day, his eyes are worse than mine ‘cos all he does is read,” he says with a laugh. “It’s fine.” 
“I worry about you too,” you say. 
“About what?” he asks, stricken. 
“Remus told me you can pop your knee out from your kneecap when you weight lift. I know you think it’s fun and stuff, but that’s scary.” 
“I’m getting fit!” He rolls his eyes. “Lily likes my abs.” 
“Well I liked you when you were soft.” 
James cackles at your poor fake-flirting. “I’ve never been soft, take that back! You know being captain made me solid as a rock.” 
“James?” a voice calls. 
You look up at the same time. Sirius is sitting on the wall in front of the house smoking; he takes a harsh, quick drag and stabs it out so hard that ash sullies his fingers as he stands. 
“Oh,” he says, blowing the smoke from his mouth quickly, his breath a ragged thing as he bounds across the road to hug you. “Sorry.”
You don’t get what he’s sorry for. “It’s okay.” 
He smells so strongly of smoke it’s like he’s blowing it under your nose, but he’s not so sharp to the touch. You falter at being touched kindly, feeling tension in his back as you curl an arm around him. 
Sirius digs his face into your neck. 
“Hey?” you ask quietly. 
He steps back suddenly, an accusing fist held between your two abdomens. “Where have you been?” he asks, and there’s the sharpness to match his smell, scowl turning his grey-blue eyes to pitch, lashes in a furious tangle. “You can’t do that. You can’t just disappear for hours.” 
“I’m sorry–”
“It’s not okay.”
“She said she’s sorry,” James interjects, “maybe let’s leave it?” 
“Being sorry doesn’t erase the last two hours of us panicking, though, does it?” 
“She got lost–”
“James, it’s okay, it’s–” You shake your head. “Maybe you should go inside to warm up? You’re not wearing a coat either.” 
“I was in a rush.” James gives Sirius a warning look. “I’ll make you a cup of tea. Five minutes and I’m coming back out.” 
James trudges up the garden path to the house. You twist your hands together, staring into Sirius’ face, wanting to see every bit of his anger, keeping tabs on all of it so as not to be surprised. You should’ve known he’d run out of patience with you eventually. He’s had to deal with your awful moods more than anyone else. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“Do you realise how scary it is to worry you’ve hurt yourself?” Sirius asks starkly. 
You flinch. “It doesn’t exactly feel great for me, either.” 
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Still, he softens. You feel like you’ve cheated. “I don’t understand. You got lost? How far away from the house were you?” 
“I don’t know, I was trying to go to Del’s.” 
“You’re not being honest with me, or any of us. It’s not fair. My heart is like a fucking racehorse,” he says, pressing his hand to his chest, fingertips smudgy with ash, “’cos all I’ve thought tonight is that you’d gone off and jumped off of a bridge or something. I know you wouldn’t.” He lets his hand fall. He quietens. It is almost apologetic, how he slows. “I know you wouldn’t. I knew you’d come home. But please don’t make me think about it.”
He’s gone pale in the cold, his hair in twists and tucked haphazard behind his ears. In his thick bomber jacket and his jeans, he could’ve just hopped of the bike, windswept as he is, but it’s the mark of worried hands having pushed his hair back repetitively rather than the weather, though the longer you stand there in the wind, the more tangled it becomes. “I dont get why you’re so determined to be alone,” he says. 
You don’t want to talk about it. When do you ever? More than ever, you’d like to stalk past him and slam your bedroom door, let him know you’re fine by yourself and seething, let him stay ignorant to you as you squirm in a bed you’ve come to hate. How often do you lay there wishing you could be alone forever? It’s not fair to anyone. It doesn’t make sense. They all love you and you feel sorry for them, ‘cos you tricked them, ‘cos you’re nothing worth thinking about for long. 
Sirius won’t stop frowning at you. It makes the drowning feeling worse. 
“I’m sorry,” you say again, hoping this time it’ll stick. “I don’t know what happened, I just wasn’t thinking. I don’t feel very well.” 
“I know.” He scoffs to himself. You relax at the hint of self-deprecation. “It’s not your fault. I’m fucking furious with you but I know you can’t help it.” 
“Sorry.” 
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. For saying you’d jumped off a bridge, that’s horrible, but you really fucking worry me sometimes and I’m so relieved that you’re okay that it’s making me horrible.” 
“You’re not horrible.” 
“I’m mean.” 
“You’re not.”
“No, I am. You’re the only person who doesn’t see it. Or at least doesn’t say it.” Sirius rubs his face, scraping a stray hair from his nose. “Sorry for shouting. Here,” —he holds out his arm— “let’s have a proper one.” 
He hugs you nicely, no force to it, less lingering smoke. The scratch of his cheek catches yours, his hand at the bottom of your back, your jacket and shirt rising with every sweep of his touch. You press your closed eye to his hair. 
“Why didn’t you come and sit with me or– we could’ve talked. Could’ve just led in bed, doesn’t matter, I would’ve gone to the shop with you.” He squeezes you, pressing his nose to your shoulder. “I can be morbid. We can be two miserable layabouts together.” 
“I didn’t…” You cringe. “Sirius, it’s not on purpose, I swear. I didn’t do it to make you worry.” 
“I know that, Jesus.”
“Sorry.” 
“It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re home.” 
You pull apart as a car turns onto the street. That’ll be Remus. Another for your troupe of worry. 
“What do you think, is he mad at me too?” you ask. 
“Remus?” Sirius gives you another half hug. “‘Course not.” 
And true to form, Remus climbs out of the car with a fond smile. “Hey, where have you been?” His hair ruffles in the wind, scars turned palest purple in the cold. “You need to learn how to tell time.” 
You let him hug you. “Sorry.” 
“That’s alright, let’s go inside though. Have some tea. Did you eat much today?” 
You ignore the question. “Tea,” you say. 
“Yeah.” 
Remus ushers you down the path to the house, Sirius on your other side like bodyguards. 
“Thanks for, uh, looking for me.” 
Remus takes you by the forearm. “We’ll always look for you. But next time, wake me up first.” 
You nod gratefully. “Uh, okay. Thank you.” 
“Stop saying thanks. It’s alright, Y/N. It’s fine.” 
That’s what you’ve all said, but it doesn’t make it true. 
James goes home, though he doesn’t want to. “I can stay,” he says over the rim of his mug, half-pleading, wanting you to ask him to. “We can have a sleepover.” 
You insist that you’re really fine, he has work tomorrow, it’s late. When he doesn’t move, you say, “I feel bad enough that you were out looking for me in the cold.” 
Your voice is pathetic and scratchy and he can tell you’re going to cry, they all can, so he doesn’t push it anymore than that. He goes home, and you go to bed, and Remus follows you up a little bit later with a glass of juice and some thick, buttered slices of teacake. 
“You okay?” he asks, climbing into bed next to you where you’re laying down. 
“Fine.” 
“Didn’t eat much today?” 
“No.” 
“Have the juice, at least.” 
You take the glass. 
Between your sorry sips, Remus picks at one of the slices of cake, steals looks at you, though he doesn’t try to hide what he’s doing. 
“Sorry about today. Didn’t mean to worry you.” 
“You can stop saying sorry.” Remus lets his head tip from one side to another. “I can hear it in your voice that you don’t want to say it. Not that I don’t believe that you’re really, actually sorry. But you keep repeating it because you’re worried I want you to do that, and I don’t.” 
“It’s what I should say.” 
“Well, you’ve said it.” Remus turns to you, all bookish and rakish at once, lovely but tired, and he must be giving you a similar appraisal. “I wanted to be your friend the second I first talked to you. It wasn’t guilt.” He shakes his head. Wasn’t ’cos they’d played that prank on you with the shoe-eating goo, spied on you crying in a school hallway, overwhelmed. “I just liked you, and that was without any sort of knowledge of what you’re like. Now that I know you, I couldn’t be rid of you. Truly. I love you, you know that?” He smiles gently. “Even when you need time and you disappear. Please… don’t really go anywhere though, will you?” 
“I won’t.” You decided a long time ago that ending your life wasn’t in the cards. There are terrifying moments, numb ones, blink-and-it’s over ones, where you feel like it’s the only option you have. But it ends eventually, or it sinks into a background to be forgotten until the next time it aches. 
“Are you eating properly?” he asks. 
“Remus–” You shake your head as he brings a hand to your forehead, like he might stroke your hair. “You don’t have to do this.” 
“You don’t like answering, that’s all.” 
“No, I don’t.” 
“I’ve made you talk much more than you would’ve liked to, tonight.”
“I like talking to you. To all of you.” You rest your head on his thigh. “You really are my favourite people in the world, Remus. I wouldn’t… wouldn't give you up.” 
“Good,” he says, stroking your forehead just a few times. “‘Cos we can’t be without you.” 
Sirius finds you collapsing in on one another a little later and rounds the bed to lay on your other side. He doesn’t bother sitting as Remus did, pulling the blankets up and slipping in beside you without worrying about what parts of you are touching parts of him, nor the slip of your back where your shirt’s riding up, nor how warm it is under the quilt. He grabs the end of your t-shirt and pulls it flat over your stomach, before his hand spreads out there, and you realise half-heartedly that he’s hugging you from behind. The room is barely seeable. Remus is nearly sleeping. Your tea cake went uneaten, left stodgy and dark on the nightstand. 
“This okay?” Sirius asks. 
“Yeah.” 
He burrows nearer, rubbing his nose against the back of your neck, then taking a long breath of you. 
“Are you mad?” you ask. 
“Not anymore.” 
You can’t believe that any of them could love you so much as to look for you. That James would want to stay the night, and that he’d let you turn him away. If you had any energy left in you tonight you would’ve done the same to Remus, and then Sirius. James won’t be happy when he finds out they’d slept in the bed with you and left him out, but he’ll forgive it eventually. None of them should care so much about you, what’s special about you? What’s even really good? What’s worth it? 
Sirius breathes behind you. He doesn’t seem scared to touch you, not worried to lay as close to you as your bodies will allow. His heat sinks into you. 
“Know any poems?” he asks, letting you shift into his back as he pushes an arm beneath you, curling, really holding you to him, a spoon of a hug. 
“What kind did you want to hear?” 
Sirius doesn’t answer. You hold still as his hand begins looping over your stomach. 
“I can’t remember anything right.” 
“Can you guess at one for me?” he asks. 
You stare at Remus’ falling chest. You’re lucky to have good friends. 
“I read one a few days ago, a couple of times, it was only a few lines.” You wait. Sirius doesn’t say anything, so you start to relay the poem slowly, stringing the words together as they come. “The world was a… nautilus shell... And the world was a grain of sand.” Your voice is odd, but the lines come to you regardless. “The world was a honeycomb… And the world was a strip of tender bark.” 
Sirius lets his lips warm your neck, asking softly, more touch than sound, “That was the whole poem?” 
You take his hand where it’s against you. “That’s it.” 
He nods. 
The world was a nautilus shell. And the world was a grain of sand. The world was a honeycomb. And the world was a strip of tender bark. You run through the poem again, three times, tripping over strip and tender and bark as Sirius’ breath warms your nape. 
“Please don’t do that again,” he says. 
“I didn’t mean to–” You force yourself to stay still. “I would never do something like that to scare you.” 
“Nobody in this room or out of it believes that you went on your walk tonight to scare them.” His nose tips down your neck. His hand spreads wider over your stomach. It feels so weird, so warm and rigid. It’s the best touch you’ve ever been given, and it doesn’t matter because you’re so ashamed of yourself —you went on your stupid little walk with at least some bad intent, and your friends noticed because they love you when they shouldn’t bother. This is a stain now, something you’ll remember. “But I can’t take it. Do you get that? I can’t take it. James found you two hours ago and I still feel like I don’t know where you are.” 
“Didn’t mean to.” 
“I know, love.” He actually does kiss your neck then, quiet smack of a real kiss. “I know. I know.” His forehead presses to your shoulder as he settles in. “You’re okay. I’m not mad.” 
“Me neither,” Remus croaks. 
You let yourself relax enough to feel tired. Warmth from either side of you threatens to bowl you over. 
“How are you feeling now?” Sirius asks. 
“Fine.” Always fine. They deserve better honesty. “I didn’t want to hurt myself. Jus’… I needed to move, like, go, and I hate this part. I don’t think it should matter that I’m not– that I don’t feel well.” 
“Don’t get upset,” Sirius says quietly. 
“I’m not.” You sound tight. “When I want to be somewhere, it doesn’t make sense that it matters. In the moment, I don’t remember that you…” 
“Love you?” Sirius asks. 
“I know why you were worried, I promise. I don’t live in a bubble. I know I’m selfish.” 
“Not selfish.” 
“It was, though.” 
“You’re thinking about it like we have a problem with what you did, and it’s my fault because I got so mad, but it’s not really that you did it.” His hand curls shy of your breastbone. “I was mad, but– darling,” —you squeeze your eyes shut— “you’re not on trial. You don’t have to prove your way out of this, all we need to know is if you’re alright now.” 
“Not really.” 
Remus gives a half-sleeping mumble. 
Sirius sits up in bed to look at both of you. “We love you. We,” —he gestures between you and Remus emphatically— “aren’t going to stop. No matter how many walks you go on, how many scares you give me.” He frowns at you sympathetically. “We’re not getting any further, are we?” 
“Sorry.” 
“I’m sorry.” He grimaces, dark around the eyes. “I’m a right prick and I’ve made a right mess of everything.” 
“It’s okay,” you whisper, chancing a touch, terrified you’ll be reprimanded for it but knowing, as you know he loves you, that you’re allowed. The tips of your fingers touch his collarbone. Sharp thing. 
He pulls a jib, lips all up and thinned like a smirk gone wrong. “Love you.” 
You must’ve petrified him. He’s never so open with his feelings, even when it’s half-joking like this. 
“I love you, too.” 
He makes another face. Good enough, it says. 
“Make me hot chocolate?” you whisper. 
“Mm, come on.” He pulls you from the bed by your wrists. “Don’t complain when it’s gritty. I’m not skilled as Remus.” 
“Quite right,” Remus mumbles. 
You hug him quickly before you leave. 
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Text
But I'm not much of anything (but you're everything to me)
let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here
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pairing: sirius black x reader (gender neutral), implied poly marauders x reader
length: 1.8k
genre: fluff, kinda angsty, hurt/comfort
warnings: winter break angst I suppose, you're so young you don't have to be everything you want yet, you have time you learn and you grow and you become blah blah blah lol
a/n: me ?? posting a fic ?? wooow wowow anyway this is in the poly marauders series but it can totally be read stand alone
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"I brought you your jacket." Your voice is quiet as it floats through the crisp night air, the sound hushed as Sirius cranes his head around to see you slipping through the back door and shutting it gently behind you. 
"You didn't need to do that."
"It's cold out here," you point out. There's a sort of familiarity that Sirius can't help but find some level of comfort in when he shrugs the heavy jacket on, the dark shine of the leather stark against the pale skin of his neck.
"What are you doing out here, anyway?" he asks a bit sullenly, wincing and brushing a stray hair out of your face as if to make up for his bluntness. But you just wrinkle your nose and lean against the porch railing, looking out toward the rolling white lawn of James's family home.
"Oh," you shrug lightly. "Just needed some fresh air." Sirius fixes you with a stare at your words, though, and you smile a bit sheepishly. "James pulled out the board games," you admit. "I was looking for an escape."
"Oh, so that's all I am to you?" Sirius quips, but the softness in your returning smile catches him a bit too off guard and he feels his heart thump rather painfully in his chest.
"No," you respond sweetly. "If all I was looking for was a quick exit, I would've gone for climbing out the window. I'm out here for you, I'm afraid."
"How awful of me, then," he jokes weakly, and you look at him like it's the funniest thing you've heard all day. Sirius clenches his fists where he leans on the railing, letting the rings that adorn his fingers pinch his skin and press against his palms as he looks out into the night. You're standing close enough that he can feel your arm brushing against his - close enough that he feels something that seems strangely like love rolling off of you in waves.
"What are you doing out here?" He says it again, like a whisper, like a plea that he knows will be unheard. You look at him steadily as he shakes and you smile and he kind of wishes you really had climbed out the window instead of coming after him. Just for a moment. Just for a second, before the guilt sets in and he -
"Remus, uh, he said that you…"
"Had a breakdown?"
"No," you respond easily. "He didn't quite put it like that."
"But you get the idea," Sirius huffs. You lean closer to knock your shoulder against his.
"I do, baby," you offer gently. "I do."
Somewhere inside, James's boisterous laugh can be heard as Remus swears and shouts something about how cheating ruins the game. Sirius's fists clench tight enough that his knuckles whiten and you tap a nail against the wooden railing in thought. 
"Do you want to talk about it?" you ask lightly. Then you watch the muscles in his jaw flex as he clenches his teeth.
"Is there anything to talk about?"
"Mhm," you nod. "Usually a bit more than you think." He sighs at that, a defeated sort of thing as he slumps down just a bit, sinking into the warmth of his jacket as a wicked winter wind blows through. 
"I just really thought, for a little bit - I guess I really believed I'd be someone someday." He whispers it like a prayer, like a confession before some sort of altar. You answer like he's the one who should be prayed to.
"You are someone."
"No - but… you know what I mean, yea?"
"I do," you concede, sighing a bit. "I - I really do." The words come out in a sort of rush as you say them, tumbling out of you and into the frozen air as Sirius shoots you a peculiar look.
"I don't know how you do it, love," he admits in that slow, low timbre of his. You perk up a bit and glance over to him with your brows raised.
"Do what?"
"What… what I never could." You're still looking at him, he's sure, but he's avoiding your gaze in the wake of his confession, tipping his head back to stare up at the endless stars, instead. 
"Oh, Sirius, I -" You cut yourself off with a laugh and it's a hollow, pitchy sort of thing - off and different and wholly unnatural coming from you. It makes him snap his gaze back down to look at you and when he sees the tremble in your face he wonders, not for the first time, how he manages to fuck it all up so often. 
But then you smile at him like the stars shine down on the two of you because he hung them there. You smile and you look up, yourself, into the endless vastness.
"I'm not, uh… well, I'm not really much of anything these days," you admit quietly, the words halting and slow as they leave you.
"That's bullshit, babe," Sirius responds, the words tugged from him as soon as he hears the tremor in your voice. "You're everything."
"Aw, see how easy it is?" you sigh, leaning back and hanging onto the railing as your voice wavers just a touch. 
"What?" Sirius asks quietly - because he knows, he thinks. He's knows what's going on.
"How easy it is to see yourself in someone else," you clarify. It makes him frown, makes his brows bunch together as he stares down at you. More wind blows through, the beginnings of snowy flurries fluttering through the air and makes you shiver, your sweater doing little to protect you from the incoming storm.
"You should've brought your own jacket out here," Sirius huffs, pointedly derailing the conversation as he shrugs off his own dark leather to drape it over your shoulders.
"I only had time to grab one," you murmur in response as you let him manhandle you into his jacket, the weight of it settling heavily on yout shoulders as you curl your hands into the too-long sleeves.
"What's that thing you always say?" Sirius mumbles as he smooths his hands down your arms, his fingers cold against the fabric. "Something about putting your own oxygen mask on first?"
"Aw," you tease, turning to lean against the railing again and bump your shoulder against him. "But then how would I get you to look after me, huh?"
It's a joke, of course - Sirius knows it's a joke, recognizes the quip in your words. But he can't help himself. He grabs onto your shoulders gently and spins you around to face him once more, his face sombre and lips pressed together as he tilts his head down to look you in the eye. 
"I'll always look after you," he says sternly. "You know that, right? Always, I - you deserve that much, you know? You deserve to have someone find you out in the cold and give you a jacket."
There's a strange quality in your returning smile as you listen to him speak and Sirius, somewhere distant and safe, gets the feeling that you know something that he doesn't.
"I know you do," you say sweetly when he's done his rambling, and the words make a frown tug further on his face as he shakes your shoulders ever so gently.
"Not me," he clarifies sternly. "You - you deserve it. We're talking about you." But then there's that smile from you again, sweet and loving and shining up at him like he's the only warmth you need. It makes him stumble, just a bit, makes him lose his footing as he looks down at you in his jacket, the necklace he gave you last year shining against your neck and the hickey that he'd given you yesterday just barely hidden under your hair.
He lets go of you - he can't help it. He lets go of you and takes a step back to cross his arms over his chest, instead, like he's curling into himself somehow.
"What do you think?" you muse quietly. "Do I look like you?" Sirius thinks, for a queasy sort of moment, that you sort of do. 
"No," he says shortly, the irritation in his voice so surface-level and fake that you grin a bit. "You look like you."
"Well," you say easily as you rock back on your heels a bit and your grin widens. "I'll take that, I suppose."
"You should," he quips back, shivering as the wind blows through and a golden warmth filters onto the two of you as someone turns on another light inside. "What a thing to be, hm?"
"Aw," you tease, but you lean up on your toes and grip onto Sirius's shoulders as you tilt your head to look at him. "You love me, huh?"
"Against my better judgement, yes," Sirius murmurs back, smoothing a hand over your lower back as he leans down to press his lips against yours. It's familiar by now, the feeling of you pressed against him. He knows the shape of you and the feel of your warmth radiating into him. He knows the way that your lips move against his and the way you smile into the kiss. He knows the way that this love feels, he realizes, and it makes him tangle a hand into your hair and tug ever so gently as he nips at your lower lip.
"The others will start to feel left out if we stay out here for too long," you murmur quietly, your lips brushing against Sirius's as he chases after you.
"Just a few more minutes."
"You'll also freeze to death," you point out. That makes him laugh, makes him tilt his head back and look up at the stars and feel how close they are between the two of you. You smooth a hand over his chest as he looks up, placing your palm against his shirt to feel the steady thump of his heart under his skin. And how odd, you think, to feel it beat like that for you. 
"Thanks, sweet thing," Sirius says eventually, his voice quiet as he moves slowly to look down at you once more.
"For what?" you ask simply. The kiss that he presses against your nose is so gentle you almost don't feel it. But you always feel Sirius. You always know where he is.
"For coming out into the cold for me," he says quietly, and if his voice wavers and cracks, you take no notice. "For - for bringing me something warm."
"It's a nice jacket," you respond easily, but your fingers thump against his chest as you echo the beating rhythm of his heart. "It deserves to be worn."
"Yea," Sirius sighs, his shoulders, he finds, lifting a bit with a lightness that's so difficult to find in the dark. "It is a nice jacket."
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marauder-misprint · 23 hours ago
Text
Trust Fund
Sirius Black x Pettigrew!reader
5.7k words
cw: post-hogwarts, swearing, snogging, fluff
Being two years older than Peter, you did your best to not cross paths with him during the five years you shared at Hogwarts. You love your brother. That wasn’t why. You had just hoped that he would make his own path without being seen as your little brother, and he did. You didn’t pay attention to his friends either; you knew they were such a tight knit group that they were still living together now, after Hogwarts. Would you recognize any of them if you saw them out on the street? Probably not. 
You frequented a wizarding club near your apartment that you shared with one of your friends from Hogwarts, Marie. She never came with you, opting to spend time with her boyfriend rather than a room full of sweaty people drinking and dancing. Her loss. 
You usually left the club alone, despite the many times you’d be dancing with someone all night. Because you were such a regular, the bartenders and security guards all knew you, and they knew when you looked ever so slightly uncomfortable and when to step in. Without talking, they could tell when you were done with a person and they’d make sure you were okay when you were leaving. So, you always made it home safe to wake up slightly hungover in your own bed. 
You expect tonight to go no different. You don a simple skater dress; you like the way the skirt would flare as you spin while dancing. Add heels, makeup and jewelry and you’re ready to go. Marie is already gone off to her boyfriend’s by the time you leave. It’s a short enough walk to the club. You tap your wand on the graffiti door in an alley. It solidifies and you’re able to enter. The security guard just nods at you as you pass by some girls who look far too young to be there.
“Hey, why aren’t you asking her for ID?” one of the girls complains.
The guard glares at her and she slinks to the back of her group. You laugh to yourself. You didn’t mind the special treatment you were given as thanks for being a regular. As you step through the second set of doors, you’re greeted with colorful, flashing lights, a thin fog of artificial smoke and the smell of alcohol, sweat and a sweet perfume that you know is misted around intermittently to counteract the sweat. 
You wave to the bartender and he starts to make your usual drink. By the time you’ve moved through the small crowd between you and the bar, your drink is ready for you. You exchange your wand for your drink, as collateral to make sure you pay your tab at the end of the night. You lean against the bar, sipping your drink as you gaze around the club. Music is playing loudly, drowning out any conversation around you. You know you’ll need at least one more drink before you take the floor. Not too many people are here yet and you need more artificial confidence if you’re going to dance on a non-packed dance floor. 
Then the  bartender slides you a drink just as you finish the one in your hand.
“Oh, I didn’t ask for another one yet,” you say.
He leans forward across the bar. “It’s from the gentleman at the end, the one with the curly hair. Taking care of your tab tonight.”
You raise your eyebrows at the bartender after looking where he had briefly gestured. 
“Then, I guess I don’t mind if I do…” you say, picking up the glass and taking a sip. 
You know the guy is watching you, waiting. After a second sip, you abandon your spot to approach him. As you get closer, you see he’s wearing ripped jeans and a black t-shirt that looked like it once had a design or logo on it at one point but had faded away over time. Even closer, you notice the silver jewelry, on his hands, around his neck and in his ears. Damn, he’s attractive.
“So, Trust Fund, fancy a dance?” you ask before taking a sip of the drink he was paying for.
He cocks an eyebrow at you with a wide grin.
“I’d love one.”
You hold out your free hand for him to take so you can lead him out to the floor. It doesn’t take long for the guy to become touchy, but it’s a good touchy. His chest is pressed firmly into your back with his hands on your waist. His cologne breaks through perfumed air and perpetual smell of sweat. You welcome that. As you continue to dance together, his hands wander, down to your hips, back up to your waist, to your stomach and high, to your thighs. You can feel his breath on your neck. He is so close. 
More songs play and you dance face-to-face as well. He’s just as close for that, his hands resting on your arse. Smiles adorn both your faces. You’re so caught up in his grey eyes, which he is unable to take off of you. You feel oblivious to the rest of the club, but it’s not your fault. He’s just so enchanting, so enthralling.
After a few more drinks, a mix of alcohol and water to pace yourself, you excuse yourself for the loo.
“You, my handsome Trust Fund, better still be here when I get back.”
“How ‘bout I get us another round? Meet you here?”
You nod. And he is waiting for you when you return, two drinks in hand as promised. You’re feeling emboldened. You take the drink he’s holding out for you and you slam it. He watches you with wild eyes. He’s enraptured with you. Then he mirrors your action, slamming his own drink. You take his cup and place both of them on a nearby table. Then you grab his shirt and pull him close to you. It’s the kind of action that makes your intentions obvious, and he obliges, bringing your faces ever closer together until lips meet. He tastes of the alcohol he’s been drinking and faintly of cigarettes. It’s anything but gentle and sweet. It’s hungry and fueled by desire. It doesn’t take long for you to be pushed against the wall, his tongue basically down your throat. You had one arm wrapped around his waist and the other hand tangled in his hair. His were groping your arse and holding your hips in place. 
You’re not sure how long you’ve been attached to his face, but you break apart when someone near you says, “Get a room.”
You both laugh, resting foreheads against each other.
“My roommate isn’t home tonight,” you breathe. 
“Yeah?” 
You nod. Suddenly, you’re wearing matching grins. He throws an arm around your shoulder and leads you back to the bar, where he exchanges a small pile of galleons for your wands. You give the employees a sly smile, a silent “I’m okay.” The cool air of the night hits you with a wave of sobriety. The man next to you is still stunningly beautiful, which makes you smile to yourself. 
“You live ‘round here?” he asks, looking down at you.
“Yeah, just a few blocks. What about you, Trust Fund?”
“Same. Not too far.”
You turn in the direction of home, his body following your movements. Every once in a while, he presses a gentle kiss into your hairline. The sweet action makes your heart flutter. You know bringing him back to your flat is a signal for certain activities, but the affection he shows you on the way makes you wonder what will become of this. 
“This is my building,” you say once you’ve arrived.
He takes a moment to look at the street sign and building name. You’re not sure if he’s judging it or trying to memorize it.
“Okay, yeah, I know where we are,” he says after a moment. “I’m a bit that way.” He points diagonally backwards. “Would’ve been funny if we were in the same building though.”
“Well, we’re in the same building tonight,” you tell him, opening the front door and holding it open for him.
He follows you up a few flights of stairs and down the hallway to your door. The way he’s looking around, you think he’s counting each flight, each door you pass, so that if he had to come back without your help, he’d be able to.
“Trust Fund, you want tea?” you offer as soon as you lock the flat’s door behind you.
“Why’re you calling me that, huh?”
“What? Trust Fund?” you reply with a giggle.
He nods, tracing his hands up and down your arms as you stand in your kitchen. 
“Instead of buying me a singular drink, you picked up my whole tab before even seeing if I was interested.”
He hums. “Bartender said you’re there often. Maybe I figured your bank account could use a break.”
“You asked Craig about me?” you tease.
“Craig?” he laugh and runs a hand through his hair. “Of course you’re on a first name basis with the bartender. You’re there often.”
“And I do drink within my means. My bank account is just fine, thank you very much.”
“So you never… go a little crazy?”
You give him a sweet smile and tuck a curl behind his ear.
“I don’t need alcohol to go crazy.”
He gives you an amused smirk before pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Yes, tea would be lovely.”
Quiet conversation flows naturally over your cups of tea. When the cups are empty, you place them in the sink. You feel his eyes watching you, as if taking your movements around your domicile. You begin to head to your room, but when you turn around, he’s still standing in your kitchen.
“Trust Fund, you coming? you ask suggestively.
He breaks out of whatever thought was holding him captive in his own head. He nods, a wide grin immediately appearing. He follows you into your room and closes the door behind you. Sure, your roommate wasn’t home now, but she came home early, there were things she didn’t need to see. 
---
You wake up to an empty bed. Part of you wonders if maybe you’d had too much to drink last night and the beautiful man you’d brought home was all a dream. That is, until you actually get up. Marie is in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea. She smiles with a wicked glint in her eyes when she sees you. 
“I see you had fun last night.”
Your hand immediately snaps to your neck. If you had love bites on your neck, then he wasn’t a dream. 
She laughs loudly. “I wasn’t talking about that! Check the fridge.”
You see a note placed under one of the magnets. 
‘Text me sometime -Trust Fund <3’ with his number underneath.
“Trust Fund?” Marie asks after you smile at the note.
“This guy, absolutely stunning by the way, starts off with handling my entire tab before even saying hi. And even if he asked Craig the bartender how much I usually drink, that’s such a ballsy move.”
“And you brought him home.”
“Like I said, he was stunning.” 
“Was he… any good?”
You blush furiously and look away. He had been. The best you’d had in years. 
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she giggles before loudly sipping her tea.
You move to put the kettle on with a roll of your eyes. As you wait for the water to boil, you reread the short note on the fridge. You like his handwriting, full of flourishes and flair. It fit his style. The note itself made your stomach flip. It meant that he had a good enough time last night too, enough that he wanted to see you again. 
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about what to text him or when to text him. You didn’t want to come off as too eager, but you didn’t want to wait too long and risk him becoming uninterested or thinking you just got lonely and wanted attention. You’re sitting on the couch with the TV on, but you’re not paying attention to it. You’re staring at your phone. You haven’t texted him yet, but you want to. Boy, do you want to.
“Merlin, just text him,” Marie says, coming out of her room. 
“I don’t want to look-”
“He wouldn’t have left his number if he didn’t want you to text him,” she cuts you off. “I’m sure he’d love to see you again, which he can’t do until you text him.”
“He knows where I live,” you point out.
“That’s just an excuse! Text. Him.”
“Marie,” you whine.
“Do you want to see him again?” she asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the kitchen counter. 
“Yes.”
“Then text him. Doesn’t have to be much.”
“Like I can just say hi?”
“Yes! It’s not that difficult.”
“Says the girl who’s been dating her boyfriend since sixth year.”
“Whatever,” Marie laughs. “Speaking of, I’m off to Theo’s. You better have texted that poor sod by the time I’m back.”
You open your messaging app as soon as Marie is out the front door.
[Hey Trust Fund :)]
Your phone makes a swooshing noise as the text sends. And you wait. And wait. You stare at the phone. The TV provides background noise for your unraveling thoughts. 
Did I wait too long to text? Did I not wait long enough? Was ‘Hey’ the wrong thing to say? What if he left the wrong number to mess with me? What if last night wasn’t as enjoyable for him as it was for me and he left his number to appear polite but has no intentions of seeing me again? What if-
Your phone dings. His message lights up your screen.
{hey sweetheart - sorry i had to leave, work :/}
[Who goes to the club when they work in the morning?]
{fun people}
[Where do you work?]
{trying to stalk me?}
[Curious to see where Trust Fund gets his money]
{the record store on cornwallis ln}
{always slow in the morning}
It’s fitting that he works in a music store; over the tea last night, he talked a faer bit about his favorite bands, one of which was on his shirt, despite it being so faded. You realize you’re smiling at your phone. You sigh and decide to be bold.
[Hope it’s not too forward, but I’d like to see you again. Last night was fun]
He doesn’t respond as quickly as he had been. You click the off button on your phone to make the screen go dark as you begin to internally panic. Maybe it was too forward. Too quick to suggest seeing him again. 
Then your screen lights up again.
{i’d love that - busy wed evening?}
He’d love that. Your panic immediately subsides. 
[Nope, but I am now ;)]
---
He suggested a local cafe that did cocktail nights with live music. He’d been to a few of them before, describing it as a laidback scene, casual. It sounded like a good idea so you agreed. You had spent far too long staring at your closest deciding what to wear, only to end up in jeans and a flowy top. A cute outfit but not as “trying hard” as a different skater dress or a skirt would have been. He had said he would meet you outside your building and you’d be able to walk there together. 
“Hey gorgeous!” he calls out as he approaches you. He’s wearing jeans, no rips this time, and a different band tee. 
You feel more confident in your outfit. 
“Hey Trust Fund.”
“Oh, still calling me that, are you?”
You laugh, “Well, I don’t actually know your name…”
“Never came up, did it?”
“No,” you say, shaking your head. Then you hold out your hand and say your first name.
He takes your hand to shake it and laughs with you. “Sirius.”
“Like the star?”
“Surprised you know it.” You give him a do I look stupid look. “Not in that way! Most people just don’t recognize it.”
You watch him take out his phone and go to what you assume is your contact.
“Aw, I’m there as pretty thing? That’s cute! You should keep it!”
“You are, no doubt. That’s why that’s what I went with. But I like names, nicknames. Helps me keep track of who’s who, you know?”
“Got a couple pretty things in your phone?”
He flushes at your teasing. 
“No,” he says slowly. “But I do have roommates who like to steal my phone and change all of the contact names. If they saw one pretty thing, every. single. contact. would be pretty thing and I’d have to spend hours figuring out which one is you.”
“Well, you’re staying as Trust Fund,” you say with a cheeky smile. “Plus, my brother would probably look at my phone and ask ‘why are you texting a star?’”
“You got a brother?” 
“Yup. Just one. What about you? Any siblings?”
“One brother too. We’re not too close.”
“Huh,” you say. “I’m not close with mine either. Siblings, what can I say?”
You both laugh and start to walk to the cafe. 
---
It quickly becomes a thing where you and Sirius are seeing each other in person at least once a week, and texting and calling multiple times a day. It wasn’t like you were codependent already. Sirius was just intoxicating, you were addicted to him. You wanted to share everything little thing that happened with him, and the feeling was reciprocated. And you wanted to share him with the people around you. You talked Marie and Theo’s ears off about him. 
“You sound absolutely smitten,” Theo laughs one evening when he and Marie decided for a night in at your shared flat rather than his. 
“Smitten?” Marie asks, shocked. “She’s obsessed! Try asking her about her work, about her other friends, literally anything else. She will somehow tie it back to this boy.”
You shrug. “Not my fault all topics lead back to him.”
“Apparently it’s my fault for encouraging you to text him. If I hadn’t meddled in your love life, you’d still be single and I would still have my sanity.”
“You lost that a long time ago,” Theo says, wrapping his arms around Marie.
“Theo, you’d love him.” Your eyes light up. “We should do a double date!”
“At least let me meet him first before you force him upon Theo! I think roommate ranks higher than roommate’s boyfriend!” 
Sirius, on the other hand, kept you to himself as much as he could. While he didn’t gush to his friends about you, they still knew how much you meant to him, even if they didn’t know your name yet. It was the way he jumped for his phone when your text notification echoed through the flat, the way he smiled when you called and then immediately took the call in a different room, the way he spent a little extra time to make sure he looked good before leaving the flat to meet you somewhere. 
“Off to see my girl, later dudes,” was yelled as he left, leaving the boys to share a knowing look.
Sirius was serious about this girl. And for them to get a little more information out of him all they needed to do was get some alcohol in him. They were hosting game night with some of their Hogwarts friends. As always, drinks were flowing and Sirius wasn’t holding himself back. 
“Sirius, I have a question for you,” Lily says, cornering him in the kitchen as he went to retrieve another beer from the fridge.
“Shoot, Evans,” Sirius says nonchalantly. 
“James says you got a girlfriend,” she says. 
He cracks open the beer and takes a swig. “That’s a statement, love.”
“You’re not denying it,” she retorts, a smile creeping onto her face. 
“How come you’re talking about my lovelife with Prongs?”
Lily laughs as they return to the group.
“Talking about it is certainly one way to describe it. More like he was complaining that you haven’t brought her round yet.”
“Who hasn’t been brought around?” Mary asks, looking up from her cards. 
“Sirius got himself a proper girlfriend.”
“Proper?” Mary questions. “How proper we talking?”
“Smiling at his phone and hour-long calls,” Remus answers for Sirius.
“Oh! So this is serious!” Marlene exclaims.
“I’m always Sirius,” he replies as he plops down onto the couch next to Remus.
“So you’re going to tell us about her, yeah?” Marlene says, her voice implying it was more of a statement than a request.
The alcohol impedes his decision-making skills. So the first thing he says about you is…
“She’s on a first-name basis with the bartender at the club where we met.”
Lily chokes on her drink.
“She’s an alcoholic?” Peter gasps.
“No! No. No. She just goes, went? Goes there often. Dunno. But damn, she’s captivating as well.” He hums. “I like her. A lot.”
“He admits it!” James says, nudging Lily. “He admits it.”
“Yeah, I heard him, babe.”
“O’ course I admit it,” Sirius says a snippy. “She didn’t mind going to that cocktail cafe.”
“Still sounding like an alcoholic…” Peter murmurs.
Mary slaps his shoulder. “Be nice.”
“She likes to dance. She danced with me at the cafe,” Sirius says before taking another swig of beer. “We walked around that muggle art exhibit and she actually knew stuff ‘bout it. Like composition and whatnot. She’s smart like that.”
“Drinks, dances and knows art… Sounds like a keeper,” Remus says with a laugh.
“Do you have like cute nicknames for each other yet? Lil pet names?” Mary asks.
Sirius smiles widely. “Yeah! Well, she does for me. She has me in her phone as Trust Fund.”
The group just stares at him blankly, which wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.
“What?” 
“Trust Fund?” Lily asks, furrowing her brows. “So she’s dating you for your money?”
SIrius’ eyes go wide in realization. That nickname needed its backstory.
“No! No, Godric no. The night I met her, I told the bartender I’d pay for her entire tab before I even said hi. So she assumed I had money to fall back on and called me that all night.”
“Certainly one thing to moan in bed…” Peter mumbled, earning himself another light slap from Mary.
Sirius didn’t give him a reaction.
“And then later, she said that if she put Sirius in her phone, her brother would ask why she’s texting a star,” Sirius continued with a laugh.
The air in the room eases. 
“She knows I have a job! And she does too. Honestly, the Black fortune hasn’t come up. She’s not like that.”
“Sirius, we believe you,” Marlene says. “What is she in your phone?”
“Her name with a black heart emoji.”
“Classy,” Remus slurs.
“Shut up,” Sirius says, but his words have no bite.
He’s just smiling into his beer can. 
The next day as he’s cleaning up from game night, Sirius steps into Peter’s room. If he was going to run the dishwasher, he wanted all the dishes and Peter had a habit of hoarding his used cups. A picture of Peter’s family on vacation sitting on the dresser catches Sirius’ eye. Peter is really young in the old photo which Sirius assumes was taken sometime pre-Hogwarts. He can’t help but think the girl standing next to Peter looks vaguely familiar. He probably just recognizes her from Hogwarts, being that she is Peter’s sister, he tells himself, unable to completely place the face. He doesn’t think much of it, grabbing two rather large stacks of cups and leaving Peter’s room. 
In the kitchen, he organizes the cups into the dishwasher and starts it up. Then he moves around the living room, picking up wrappers and cans. 
“Since when do you clean up after game night?” Remus asks, leaning against the doorframe of his room. His voice is scratchy from just waking up.
Looking down at the rubbish in his hands, Sirius says, “I guess since today?”
“What’s eating your mind then?”
“Huh?”
“Padfoot, I’ve lived with you for about half my life. You’re acting like an elf. What’s going on?”
“Just thinking about her.” 
“And that has you cleaning?”
“She’s just… unreal.”
“Unreal,” Remus repeats back to him. 
“Haven’t felt like this about a girl before, Moony. All those Hogwarts girls? They don’t compare.”
Remus chuckles and stands up straighter before walking over to Sirius. He places his hands on Sirius’ shoulder.
“Sounds like you fell quick and hard, m’friend.”
“Fell…”
“If you like her more than all the girls from school… Sirius, you might be in love.”
---
“Hey, Wormtail, where you off to? I thought we were having roommate dinner?” James calls from the kitchen of the boys’ flat. 
“I told you I couldn’t tonight,” he says as he pulls on a coat. “I got that family dinner.”
“Ugh, I forgot!” James groans.
“Is it like national family dinner night or something?” Sirius asks, joining James in the kitchen. 
“Dunno, why?”
“Girlfriend’s got family dinner tonight too.”
“Speaking of,” Remus says from where he’s sat in the living room, “when do we get to meet this amazing chick?
Sirius shrugs. “Whenever I decide she’s ready to handle a game night with you bastards.”
“Alright, that’s it. I’m outtie!” Peter calls before the front door slams behind him and the rest of the boys hear the lock turn. 
“Just give us some warning before she comes over, yeah? We’ll clean up a bit,” Remus says with a wink. 
“And if it’s for a game night, we can invite the girls too!” James adds. “Lils, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary. The whole gang.”
“Yeah, and we can invite Reg, and Evan and Junior, and Pandora too. Then I’ll take her to meet my parents immediately after,” Sirius replies sarcastically.
The boys give him blank looks.
“The whole Hogwarts gang might be a bit much. You lot are a bit much, but not much I can do ‘bout that,” he explains.
“Aw, he doesn’t want to scare her off,” Remus coos, joining the other two in the kitchen.
“No, I don’t,” Sirius says firmly. “Now what are you making, Prongs? I’m getting hungry.”
“Spaghetti. Remus, what sauces we got?”
Remus opens the cupboard with a squeak. “Ah, looks like red sauce, red sauce number two, white sauce, green sauce… third red sauce.” 
“Eh. Pick one of the reds.” James looks over his shoulder at Sirius, who is leaning against the counter. “For a girl you’re obsessed with, we still don’t actually know her name.”
---
Peter’s already there when you arrive at your parents’ house. He’s talking with your dad as they set the table. Your mum is in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner. 
“Smells like I arrived just in time!” you say, taking off your coat.
“I’m setting the table, you’re clearing it,” Peter informs you.
“Darling, go help your mother bring the food to the table,” your dad says.
You do help your mum set the table and you sit down as a family. Since you and Peter don’t live too far away, your parents try to have dinner once a month to catch up. Your dad rants about the people he works with. Your mum discusses the gossip from her book club. Peter starts talking about a movie that he saw with some of his roommates. 
“Oh, I saw that movie with my boyfriend!” you interject.
“You have a boyfriend?” your mum asks, clearly intrigued. “This is new!”
“Yeah, it is. Only been official for a week or so now.”
“You were going to tell us… when?” your dad asks.
You roll your eyes. “I was going to, Dad. I’m an adult, I don’t have to tell you about everyone I date.”
“There’s more?” your mum nearly exclaims.
“Not really, no, but the point is I don’t have to tell you. Until I’m sure they are sticking around for a while.”
“Yeah? You like this one?” Peter asks, putting down his fork. 
“I do, Pete. He’s a good guy.”
“Didn’t you say that about your fifth year boyfriend?”
You snort a laugh. “Don’t go bringing Diggory into this.”
“So, where did you meet this fellow?” your dad asks, trying to avoid a sibling argument. 
Peter never liked Amos Diggory and, while he had treated you kindly for a while, Amos ended up cheating on you. You shut down for a while, which you still think is a perfectly normal reaction, but Peter was concerned for his big sister. 
“Ah, um, well,” you stumble over your words. “This little cafe near my flat.”
You were not going to tell your parents that you met your boyfriend at a club. Meeting at a cafe was a much cuter scenario that kept their internal image of their pristine daughter. You assumed they knew you weren’t pristine, but it was one of those things you don’t talk about with your parents unless you have to. It was easier that way. 
“That’s nice, sweetie. Pete, you seeing anyone?” your mum asks, taking the attention off you for a moment. 
Peter blushes. “No. Been focused on work.”
“Whatever happened between you and that girl… what’s her name… She went to school with you?”
“Really narrows it down, Mum.”
“Martha?” 
“Mary?” Peter all but gasps. He blushes deeper. “Nothing ever really happened with her.”
“So that Appleby Arrows?” you ask your dad. 
Peter didn’t need to discuss a failed attempt at a relationship with your parents. The fact that they knew about it was embarrassing enough. You knew the two were still friends; from what you had heard, he wanted a relationship and she didn’t so they somehow managed to be friendly for the friend group’s sake. Peter gave you a thankful look and you both filled your mouths with your mum’s cooking as your dad started ranting about the most recent match and the horrendous officiating. 
---
“Didn’t we go to school with someone named Sirius?” Marie muses later in the week.
When you first told her your boyfriend’s name, she laughed. It’s just such an odd name, she had said. And now, she was thinking they knew someone else with that name, especially after she told Theo and he brought up school. 
“Probably? He’s a wizard living in London. I would not be surprised if he went to Hogwarts.”
“But surely we’d recognize him then.”
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll ask next time I see him. But I can’t say I really paid attention to anyone younger than us, so even if he did, it doesn’t matter.”
“I keep forgetting he’s younger!” she exclaims. “You usually go for the older dudes.”
“Older dudes go for me,” you correct her, a smile playing at your lips. “Sirius just works though, you know?”
“If he makes you happy, I’m happy. I’m not the one snogging him on our couch.”
You laugh. “At least I do it when you’re not home.”
“And I go to Theo’s.”
You clink your glasses in solidarity. 
---
You’re laying on the couch with Sirius, watching an American forensic TV show, when you remember that conversation with Marie. You figure now is as good of a time as any.
“Sirius?”
“Hm?”
“Did you go to Hogwarts?”
“Uh, yeah, I did.”
You hum. “What house were you in?”
“Gryffindor?”
“Oh! You probably know my brother then.”
“Yeah?” he says, looking down at you in his arms. “What’s his name?”
“Peter.”
Sirius sits up, forcing you out of his embrace, with his eyes wide.
“Peter as in Peter Pettigrew?”
“Yeah.”
You move out of his way as he stands up and begins pacing. You watch him, unsure of his reaction.
“Sirius?”
“I’m dating my best friend’s sister? How did… what?” 
My best friend’s sister. So that meant that he was Peter’s roommate now too. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Sirius is pacing and muttering confused fragments to himself.
“Sirius?” 
“You’re a Pettigrew?” he asks, pausing for a moment to look at you.
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
He doesn’t answer right away. That stings. He runs a hand through his hair and starts pacing again. The girl in the photo in Peter’s room is you.
“No, it’s not a problem,” he says after a few paces. “It’s just… just… very, very unexpected?” 
You stand up and go to hold his shoulders, stopping his pacing. 
“It’s good we figured this out before we ended up at your place, yeah?”
He groans but it’s lighthearted. “Godric, that’d be embarrassing.” He pauses as he thinks. “Shit, that’s going to be embarrassing. ‘Hey, Peter. This is my girlfriend. You know her as your sister.’”
Sirius forcefully rests his forehead on your shoulder. You card your fingers through his hair to comfort him. 
“Well, it’s that or you wait for a Pettigrew family event and I introduce you as ‘Sirius, my boyfriend, and Peter’s longtime best friend.’”
“That’s not any better,” he says to your shoulder. 
“We have to tell him at some point.”
“Do we?”
“Probably. Guess it depends on how serious this is.”
“This?”
“Us.” You pause and lean backwards so Sirius has to lift his head back up. “There is still an us, right?”
“Yeah, yes, of course,” he says rushed. “Sorry, my brain is-”
“Taking it all in. Yeah.” You offer him a soft smile before it falls from your face. “Wait, so what’s your surname?”
He laughs. “Legally, Black. Sirius Orion Black. But the Potters basically adopted me when I ran away.”
“Potters… Jake or something?”
“James.”
“Ah… How did our surnames never come up?”
“You were the one who calls me Trust Fund.”
“You’re a Black!” you exclaim, dots connecting. “You are a trust fund! I knew it!”
“Dating me for my money are you?” he teases.
“You paid my tab first. That’s on you.” You lean up to kiss his nose. “And then you won me over by being irresistibly you.” 
“Aw, don’t make me blush.” 
“I think it’s my life goal now.” 
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lol this has been sitting in my drafts for a while - was fun to write and polish up
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youleftmenochoicebut · 24 hours ago
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IS IT NEW YEARS YET? — sirius black x reader
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SUMMARY. — it’s the new year’s eve party at Potter’s house, and you broke up with your partner a few weeks back.
PAIRING. — sirius black x fem!reader
WARNINGS. — uhm… my writing being fuckass (thats not a word); some making out?
A/N. — just a quick blurb cause its almost 4am and i can’t sleep
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„heyyy, there you are!” Sirius’ voice brings you out of your own head and you turn in his direction, amused as you watch him practically waddle over to you.
he’s drunk out of his ass, that stupid goofy smile plastered on his face, making him look ever so softer than usually. you, on the other hand, haven’t drunk almost anything, not really being the life of the party tonight despite trying. you reach out your hands, grasping his shoulder and helping him maintain balance while he enters the balcony and slumps down on the ground with a groan.
the two of you are silent for a moment, you sipping slowly on your heavily watered down drink, and him staring at you.
„party’s that boring you came looking for me?” you finally mutter, raising your eyebrows, and it’s painfully clear for you both that you’re trying to keep the spirits high, poorely.
„it’s almost midnight.” he replies casually, shrugging, and he flashes you another one of those grins of his, to which you just shake your head. „i didn’t want you to be alone. everyone needs someone to kiss when the clock strikes twelve.”
you scoff, rolling your eyes, and for a beat you just gather your thoughts. Sirius and you are… complicated, if to say in one word. never really best friends, never really hated each other. never neutral, but never something more. in the same friend group since your 4th year at Hogwarts, yet never been truly alone together for more than a couple minutes.
surprisingly though, he was the one at your side comforting you after your recent breakup. ever since that, you’ve both been feeling the tension between you, but neither have had the guts to act on it. yet.
„very funny, Pads.” you sigh, running your fingers through your hair to brush it back, and you swear you saw his smile drop for a second, but just like that it’s back. „im not really in the mood to kiss anyone.”
Sirius lets out an annoyed huff, messily searching his pockets to pull out two crumbled up cigarettes, passing one to you. you take it, of course, and light it up with a quick incendio. the air around you feels almost serene as you both inhale and exhale the smoke, and if it wasn’t for the loudness of the party going on inside, you’d say something about it. instead you focus on your cigarette, your gaze focused on the stars above you as you blow out the smoke lazily.
„i cannot understand half of the muggle shit Lils and Remy try to show us, but Merlin, i fucking love cigarettes.” you murmur softly, a chuckle escaping your mouth at your own words, glancing back at Sirius. he’s staring at you again, and when you catch him in the act he smiles, nodding along.
„hell yeah. and that other shit. uh-huh, vodka!” he eagerly weights in, already finishing off his smoke, and he leans in closer to you, his fingers grazing over your knee.
you hum in agreement, taking your sweet time with that cig, before putting it out against the railing. when Sirius leans over, you shudder under his feather-light touch, ready to back away. but that’s right when you hear the people inside start to count down from ten, and you sigh.
suddenly, Sirius tugs on the sleeve of your dress, quickly wrapping his arm around your waist, and he pulls you in. for a wasted man, his moves are smooth and steady as always, hands now resting on your lower back as you’re straddling his lap. your lips pursed together in slight agitation, and the moment you start to pull away you hear a loud ONE, and you know what’s coming.
somehow Sirius’ hands are now on your cheeks, and his lips press against yours lightly, not making any rushed movement, clearly waiting for you to reciprocate. and after a short second you do, your arms wrapping around his neck loosely as you even deepen the kiss.
it gets more heated than you’d thought it would, his hands trailing all over your body almost frantically, squeezing at your thighs, your hips, your waist, the underboob area. a soft whimper escapes you when you two pull away, your lips red and swollen already.
„happy new year, Y/N.” Sirius whispers against your skin, his mouth sauntering over your neck as he starts to leave wet kisses there, and your fingers tangle into his hair.
„happy new year, Siri.” you whisper, biting back a moan at his ministrations, the tiniest of smiles making its way onto your face.
welcome 1979, goodbye 1978.
32 notes · View notes
ailoda · 2 days ago
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updated: 21.12.24
˚☽˚.⋆ angst
Tulips (❅✧): after finding out Remus Lupin has found himself a girlfriend, a devastated Y/n L/n asks Sirius Black to help her get over him. Except Sirius has feelings for her. (@amiableness)
Mouth Wide Open (❅): your husband, sirius, returns to you after twelve years. but at what cost? (@sun-kissy)
If You Love Something (❅): your boyfriend, Sirius Black, hasn’t been faithful and you can’t stand it anymore. (@mischievousmoony)
Someone You Loved (❅): your relationship with sirius hurt so much, that the only way forward was to forget. (@bobluvbot)
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27 notes · View notes
asthronauta · 20 hours ago
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CAZA DE BRUJAS│Black Brothers – Male Reader.
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Summary: A war had begun. The Wizarding World and the Muggle World were no longer two separate worlds. Hiding and scared; it was no longer possible to differentiate between a Wizard and a Muggle. People were accused shamelessly and sentenced without trial, without mercy. Looking for the slightest suspicion to light the stake. With the fear of being pointed at, and with his life in danger; one night, [Y/N] put his two children in the car and left. Fleeing from the war. Fleeing from the hunt.
Warnings: Okay, how the hell do I explain this? This is not a conventional Reader fic guys. Look, there isn't really a ship here- Reader is Sirius and Regulus' father. Yeah. Of course it's entirely platonic, Reg and Sirius are little kids here. So, that being said — Drama, Angst, A lot of Lore, Descriptions of Physical Violence, Descriptions of Death, Verbal Violence, War Themes, and I guess I'll be warning of more as the chapters go by (yeah, chapters. I have plans for this shi). Enjoy 😁👍
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Btw, english is not my first language so there may be some errors in my writing. I'm still learning!
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Wizards had always been careful. Discreet. Hiding their abilities from those who they knew it wasn't advisable to reveal. They understood the implications of their nature; superiority, in a way. A reality that was uncomfortable for many and a reason of pride and hierarchy for others. Possessing magic, in veins or in soul, was naturally a threat to those who didn't. Like a wonderful and unfair blessing that not everyone had. Which naturally put them on a podium where there was no neutrality; just inferior and superior. Only two options; to have or to not have. Two beings, with the same capacity for intelligence but, with the supernatural ability to possess magic or not. Wizards weren't stupid; they were fully aware of this. It wasn't for nothing that families with fancy names and heavy egos kept their blood away from those who, despite possessing magic, didn't possess the bohemian quality of what ran through their veins. What they fought so many centuries to keep impeccable. Untouchable; like an infinitely valuable treasure that shouldn't be stained. Infected with something impure like Muggle Blood.
Even with the vanity of some, it didn't escape them that their abilities not only put them on top of the podium; it also made them easy targets. Despite the little faith that was placed in them under the eyes of Wizards, Muggles had proven not only to be able to prosper without magic but also that they could become dangerous. Over the years, Muggles developed a terrifying capacity of adaptability. Demonstrating that they had the ability, intelligence and ingenuity to overcome their physical limitations and surpass boundaries that the nature of their bodies imposed on them. Creating methods known by themselves as 'Science' that led them to have knowledge of which Wizards believed they were the only owners. Although this was a great triumph for non-wizards, for those who did possess magic it was nothing more than a huge warning sign.
Carrying their own wars on their backs, Muggles had proven themselves perfectly capable of killing each other. This shouldn't be a problem for the Wizarding Community except that, at the end of the day, they weren't that different from Muggles. Their magic gave them power and protection and an endless sense of superiority but, at the end of the day, it lived in the back of their minds that Muggles could kill a wizard if they didn't have a wand nearby. That their bodies were just as fragile and without magic they were at the mercy of those who didn't possess it. It was from then on that the Wizarding World and the Muggle World began to divide more and more. And, at the same time, become closer than ever.
Ministry of Magic took action on the matter and began to give the non-magicians a space in their laws, giving them rights as a method of defense for their own safety. A seemingly friendly back-and-forth that served to hide the real fear they hid under the carpet. A protection pass for themselves in exchange for protection for non-wizards. - Many Wizards did not agree with this. Seeing the Ministry's strategic actions as a sign of weakness. It wasn't entirely their fault; the great voices of the Wizarding World had taken it upon themselves not only to show Muggles as inferior creatures but also hide their true capacity, for decades. — It was 1917 and Wizards and Witches were used to dealing with Muggles as inferior beings to House Elves. It was unthinkable and scandalous that they were now being given a place in the law. And, even worse, that they had rights and were protected like any decent Wizard. There were protests and the Wizarding World was shaken that February of 1917. But the Ministry did not give in. And without giving many explanations; the Protection and Prevention project for Non-Magical Subjects was approved in the Law. As well as many others that came after. Trying to keep the interaction with Muggles at bay as if they were a lethal disease. - The Ministry tried to work quietly, knowing that the true and dangerous nature of non-magic beings would bring fear and panic to the Wizarding World. Besides, a politician would never tarnish his own campaign by showing weakness.
Wizards always hid themselves away from the Muggle World, but the subject had never been taken with the seriousness and caution with which it had since 1917. From then on, Muggles ceased to be inferior beings and became thinking beings who begun to create their own world that, in some aspects, surpassed the Wizarding one. They were clearly a threat and that was why the Ministry took the measures it took at the time. Despite that, the knowledge was not shared with the public. Hiding the technological and scientific advances of Muggles; passing them off as Wizarding discoveries. Shamelessly covering themselves with other people's wisdom because that seemed the best they could do in the face of such a growing threat. - The Ministry used to hide cases of Muggle murders of Wizards. Committing acts outside their own laws. Erasing memories of Wizards just to keep that feeling of superiority alive between Wizards and Witches. Because it wasn't convenient for Wizards to know that a Muggle could be capable of ending the valuable and superior life of a Wizard. The Ministry's plan seemed to be going well for the first few years, but it was all just a balloon that was inflated more and more, destined to eventually burst. And it did. In 1919, with the famous 'Pink House Massacre', where a powerful and ancient family of pure-blood wizards was murdered and plundered by an organisation of Muggles.
The case became famous and spread throughout the world. For the first time in history, the Wizarding World saw with its own eyes what Muggles were capable of. They went from being lower class beings to being violent, carnal, heartless but above all; intelligent. Intelligent enough to organize, plan and execute a murder. And not just a murder; but a murder of a wizarding family. ‐ It didn't take long for wizards to go from terror to hatred. The spirit of war began to grow among wizards and witches. Desiring and demanding that the necessary measures be taken to end the threat that Muggles had proven to represent for Wizarding lives. The Ministry prevented this war. Despite having everything against them, the Ministry took the reins to prevent this growing catastrophe. At this point they were getting into territory they did not know; a war they weren't completely sure they could win, so in a clever move, the Ministry avoided a war with Muggles at all costs. Remembering that winter of 1919 as 'The war that never happened.'
Despite the apparent peace that was maintained, hatred and resentment grew within the magical community, which translated into hatred for Muggle-born Wizards and those from Half-Blood families, as well as repudiation of wizards born as Squibs. Wizards went from being superior to being defensive with any issue related to Muggles. The most powerful and ancient families closed themselves off even more, dividing the Wizarding World into those who had Pure Wizarding Blood and those who didn't.
This is how the forty years of peace that were to come were lived in the Wizarding World. Even if it meant more peace for some than for others. But leaving aside the social problems; peace was maintained enough to turn a blind eye to those minorities who suffered every day. - For the well-being of Muggles and Wizards, the war had been an extinguished flame that was left in the past and that the Ministry intended to keep that way. And they did; for forty years. And the society of Wizards and Non-Wizards lived in relative peace until January 1958, when for the first time the name 'The Angel of Death' began to be mentioned not only in Wizarding newspapers, but also in Muggle ones.
Throughout history there have been thousands of famous and well-known Wizard and Muggle murderers. However, they always remained separate in their respective worlds. In 1958 it was the first time that a murderer became world famous not only in the Wizarding World but also in the Muggle one. A phenomenon never seen before and due to its characteristics the Ministry didn't know how to handle it. - 'The Angel of Death' was a wizard or witch who committed their first crime in January 1958 by murdering five Muggle children. If that had been their only heinous act perhaps the world as we knew it would never have turned upside down as it did, but that was not the case; The Angel continued to commit crime after crime and by the end of 1958 they carried on their back the weight of 118 deaths of children, women and men who all had one thing in common; they were all Muggles.
Even with the terrifying number, the Ministry would have been able to control the situation if it weren't for the fact that The Angel was not a killer who liked to go unnoticed. They didn't kill just for some kind of justice; they killed for show. They saw their murders as works to be proud of not only in the eyes of wizards, but also, and especially, in the eyes of Muggles. They did all kinds of inhuman atrocity in the most obvious, disgusting and public way possible. Like a satire. Always with a macabre touch but above all always with magic. - 118 deaths in one year didn't go unnoticed in Muggle-London and the Muggle Ministry and the Wizard Ministry were, individually, trying to catch this killer.
This case became national emergency not only because of the fact that it was a person ending the lives of others but because The Angel was exhibiting magical phenomena before the eyes of Muggles with their murders; they was showing Muggles magic and what it could do. The images, stories and tales spread like plagues and by the end of the year the Muggle World was aware that Magic was real. The Ministry could do nothing to stop or refute it. Even with every single Auror in the country erasing Muggle memories; it was impossible to evade the new reality in front of them; the Muggle World and the Wizarding World were no longer divided.
The Angel of Death was never captured. Just as they appeared out of nowhere, they disappeared the same way. Wizards and Muggles had their own theories but truth was that neither of them had any idea of even the gender of this murderer. - The crimes stopped and, due to lack of clues, the investigation was permanently blocked. But, at the end of the day, what The Angel did was much more than just murders; they left an indelible stain on history.
In 1959, for the first time in history, the Wizarding Prime Minister and the Muggle Prime Minister had an official meeting. - The opinions of Muggles, civilians and ministers alike, were divided in two; fear or hate. At first fear reigned, which only gave birth to hatred. - Fear is a human instinct, and Muggles had more than enough excuses to be terrified. They just discovered not only that something like magic existed, capable of doing and undoing with terrifying ease, but also that this ability was not equal for everyone. That some simply had the gift of possessing it and others simply didn't. That was not only unfair, but dangerous. A reality that kept them uncertain about what the other would decide to do with them. - It was funny, but Wizards and Muggles feared each other. And, at the same time, they hated each other. Wizards felt superior, seeing all non-magic beings as inferior and harmful. And Muggles not only because of fear, but also because of the humiliation that wizards perpetuated on them for not having magic. And, for some, even driven by envy.
No one could blame Muggles for fearing for their lives. For the subjugation of their entire society as they knew it. Under the power that represented something as incomprehensible as magic. Things got worse and worse. From the ashes, that thirst for war was born again; only that this time, the non-mages had the initiative. Born of fear. Born of hate. It was not foreign to anyone; neither fame nor power nor a position in the Muggle Ministry saved them from feeling fear. It was almost a hive mind decision as everyone went into defensive mode.
It was in late 1959 and early 1960 that the Muggle armies mounted their first attack. Wizards came to know that January 1st as The Beginning of the War. And Muggles crowned that January 1st as the beginning of the Witch Hunt.
“Come on, come on, up, we have to go.”
Sirius didn't have a very clear notion of time but he knew that this was not his time to get up for Kinder. - It was nighttime. Those hours of the night where the sky turns black and the stars shine brighter than usual. He knew he shouldn't be awake at that hour because his father always scolded him and Reggie for finding them up so late at night staring out the window at the stars. Looking for their constellations.
“Dad?” He rubbed his eye, squinting, trying to see in the darkness. All the lights in the house were off; only the dim moonlight illuminated the room enough for Sirius to make out his father taking a still sleeping Regulus in arms.
“We have to go, Sirius, get up.” It was on that second time that Sirius could notice the urgency in his father's voice and face. Plus the fact that his father spoke quietly; as if he didn't want to make too much noise. The remnants of sleep in Sirius' body faded away. Eyes wide and alert now that he was in the situation. Even though he didn't understand what was happening; Sirius could tell that something wasn't okay.
His father seemed in a hurry, so Sirius caught that energy. He got out of bed, in his pajamas, stuffed animal in hand as he watched his father dress up his half-asleep brother. “Dad, what's going on?” He asked innocently. Worried. His father was fully dressed, head to toe, as if he was ready to go outside. And he looked anxious.
“We have to go, Hon, we can't stay here.” His father didn't offer much more explanation as he approached, beginning to dress him in warm clothing over his pajamas. Sirius let him, still not understanding.
“Why not?” Sirius' voice was small. Big worried and confused eyes visible even in the dark. This was their home, why they couldn't stay?
“Sirius- no questions. Okay? Just do as I tell you.” His father finished and Sirius just nodded. Still with that uncomfortable feeling in his chest. His father put slippers, gloves, a scarf and his winter lion-shaped hat on him. They were going outside. Sirius didn't know why or where but he was smart enough to know that leaving home in the middle of the night wasn't a good sign. - It was cold outside; Sirius knew it because the snowman he made with Regulus yesterday was still intact; he could see it through the window. He didn't want to go outside. He wanted to stay in his warm, comfy bed. But his father wouldn't stop, and Sirius was already told not to ask any more questions.
“Let's go. Sirius, take my hand. Don't make any noise and don't walk away.” Regulus was still asleep, now in [Y/N]'s arms. Chubby cheek pressed on his father's shoulder, oblivious to everything that was happening. - Regulus was three years old, just a few months away from turning four. But their father still treated him like a baby. - Whatever was going on, Sirius was scared. But anyways, he complied; walking over to his father and taking his hand. Letting him lead them out. But not before making sure to take Regulus' favorite plushie with him. - He knew his little brother wouldn't like to wake up without it. And as for him; well, Sirius was sure that Mr. Paws would be waiting for him at home when they got back. He was the oldest, and he was a big boy now; he no longer needed to carry his stuffed animal everywhere.
He followed beside his dad as they walked towards the front door. Small hand gripping his father's tightly. He wasn't afraid of darkness, but why did all the lights have to be off? When his father opened the door he was surprised by the difference in temperature. It wasn't snowing, nor was there a strong wind. But the gentle gust was cold and it and froze Sirius' face. - The night was quiet; particularly quiet. In fact, there was not a sound in the entire neighborhood. No lights on. Not a trace of anyone around. Just darkness and the huge houses he had to look up at. Sirius couldn't help but feel intimidated; taking a step back towards his father. But as soon as [Y/N] closed the front door he hurried them to the car, which was already outside the garage.
His father opened the car's back door for him and Sirius was quick to get in. Watching as his father sat Regulus down beside him; adjusting his blanket. He was still dozing. - [Y/N] took a second to look at his children. Sirius didn't say anything; but he always had expressive eyes. And [Y/N] couldn't stand Sirius' worried eyes. He sighed. “I know. I know it's confusing, Honey. But I need you to listen to me, okay? To do as I tell you and take care of your brother, can you do that for me?”
“Yes daddy.” Sirius said. Of course he did. He was always good.
“That's my boy.” He took one of his son's cheeks, caressing it lightly. They didn't have much time. “Fasten your seatbelts.” He closed the car door and walked around it, getting in and putting on his own seatbelt. Glancing at his children in the backseat briefly before the car's engine filled the silence of the neighborhood. A second later the car was moving and Sirius could see their home receding into the distance.
He took a moment to look around. His dad seemed focused. He had his brow furrowed in concern, eyes on the road, so Sirius didn't dare interrupt him. Reggie was asleep against the seat, breathing deeply. With his plushie in his arms that Sirius made sure to put there. He leaned closer to him, feeling a sense of responsibility to protect his baby brother and also because being close gave him a feeling of comfort. — Sirius didn't know how to count the minutes but it took a long time for his father to relax a little. Taking his eyes off the road and glancing at him and Reggie through the rearview mirror. The street was empty and the car was moving slowly when [Y/N] started talking. “Sirius, Honey... Can you wake your brother up? I need to talk to you two.” He spoke. So gentle and so soft that Sirius felt the innocent urge to fall asleep.
Reggie wasn't usually a heavy sleeper, but he was just so tired from yesterday. He played in the snow with Sirius all afternoon. Their father didn't let them play in the yard, not usually. And outings to the neighborhood park were few and far between. So little Reggie was excited. Playing and having fun until his energy ran out. By the end of the day he was exhausted, dozing through dinner and falling asleep on the couch before he even made it to bed. His dad had to carry him up to his room and Sirius made a little comment that made [Y/N] chuckle. Last night felt warm compared to this. — Regulus stirred slowly, his small face scrunching up as he was roused from sleep. He could feel his brother's hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake. His small brow furrowed and he was about to complain about being woken up when he noticed that he wasn't in his bed. - Noticing the worried look on his older brother's face just after. Unease was in the air and Regulus was no stranger to it. Not even at his age. His eyes met Sirius' and then his father's. They both shared something similar; the sense of responsibility for him. Concern. Even Sirius felt it, being the eldest. And he was only five. But Reggie was too young to understand that. “Daddy?”
“Hey Honey” [Y/N] tried to give his son the best smile he had in store, which was actually a smile with worried eyes. He reached back to caress the toddler's sleepy, concerned face. He couldn't help but smile a little when Reggie leaned into it. “I have to tell you something.” He said, sighing after. How are you supposed to explain two children who can't even read yet that they were leaving home because war was after them? - Even though the war had already begun when his children were born; [Y/N] always tried to make sure his tots were unaware of how dangerous and unfair the world around them was. He knew this wouldn't last forever. And that his kids would eventually have to know the truth but, jeez, Sirius and Regulus were just that; kids. Reggie was only three. Telling them they had to run away from home because their own Muggle neighbors might come at night, break into their house and kill them wasn't something that felt good or even right to tell them. But he had, didn't he? He had because they were in more danger not knowing it. Because in times of war like these they couldn't afford to be naive. It didn't even matter being three and five years old. “...We are not going back home.”
“Dad, but-”
“No, Sirius- Let me speak.” It was painful. Not just for him; he could see it on his child's faces. Regulus looked so scared. “...I know it's hard, I know it's scary, but... we need to be strong, okay? We need to-...” His hands tightened on the steering wheel, just as his jaw clenched. He had to be honest. He had no choice. He couldn't keep decorating the ugly reality with bows and soft words. This was war; and their lives were in danger. “...Our neighborhood is no longer safe. Our neighbors-... began to suspect of me. Of my... nature. And I couldn't risk staying there. We can't go back home now. I'm sorry but that's not an option. We- We'll go somewhere different. I'll take you somewhere different. A better place. We'll be safe there, okay? Everything.. will be okay.” His voice sounded much less confident than he intended. He heard people talking about that place; a safe place to seek refuge. [Y/N] didn't trust it much, he didn't trust anyone; he had too much to lose. But it was the only option he had now. He had two children; he not only cared about his life but theirs as well. He couldn't stay there, in that neighborhood, with so many potential killers around. Not with his children there. He had to use the cards he had to try to keep his family safe.
“...I forgot Mr. Paws”
[Y/N]'s eyes softened. Oh, his sweet boy. “I'm sorry, Honey. We can't go get it back.”
Sirius just nodded. Because that's just how he was. Strong. Always trying to keep it all in. But [Y/N] knew his boy. And he could see Sirius' bottom lip tremble a little. And his big eyes become glassy with tears. Sirius was the eldest; but he was still a child.
[Y/N] reached back. His palm finding Sirius' cheek. The boy was trying so hard to hold back. “Shh” A tiny smile appeared on his face. A genuine one. A mixture of tenderness and sadness. His boys were just children. So, so young. They didn't deserve to be going through this. Sirius shouldn't have to leave Mr. Paws behind. “It's okay, baby. I-.. I'll get you a new one when we get there.” He said, but he knew his reassurance was of little use. Mr. Paws wasn’t just a stuffed animal; it was a symbol. Of safety. Of love. That couldn’t be replaced. [Y/N] was so sorry Sirius had to leave it behind like this.
The tears didn't fall. Sirius nodded, hurt but putting on a brave face. [Y/N] had no idea where he get that from, but he was so proud. “That's my boy” he smiled.
Silence fell over the car afterward. [Y/N] kept driving, glancing at his little ones through the rearview mirror from time to time. Sirius was silent. And Reggie, who lost sleep, curled up against him. He had been like that ever since the Mr. Paws scene. He held his own plushie in his arms so tightly that it seemed like the little snake's eyes would pop out. Face buried in Sirius' shoulder. - They hadn't made any comment about having to leave home. It weighed on them; of course it did. Heavily on all three of them. But Sirius and Regulus were born alongside the war, they grew up in a world where insecurity was a reality and they were always aware of that. It was sad for [Y/N] to see the painful way it was evident that his children never knew true freedom
“Fuck, damnit.” The curse came out of his mouth without thinking. He didn't want to scare the kids but he was fucking sure there were no police checkpoints in this area. That was exactly the reason why he chose this road. - He'd been in contact with Muggle World since he was a child; he knew firsthand how it worked and how to navigate it. How to take care of himself as a wizard living among Muggles. But Muggle World became more hostile since the war began. And hiding was impossible as a wizard or witch. So at some point not hiding was the best way to hide. That's why wizards, even those from great houses, lived in Muggle neighborhoods. - Muggles knew this. And so did Muggle Police. That was why they made monthly house-to-house checks in every part of the country. In every corner, in every small town, in every great mansion. Looking to 'arrest' and 'detain' wizards. That also meant there were police on every corner of every road. - But then again, sometimes not hiding was the best way to hide. And [Y/N] had no choice anyways.
He stopped the car, stifling a sigh. Trying to look as untense as possible as he rolled down the window. A policeman approached. “Good evening.”
“Good evening.” [Y/N] responded in kind. Forcing a smile on his face. He could see the officer taking a look on his children in the backseat.
“A bit late to be traveling with children.” The officer pointed out. [Y/N] cursed himself. How the hell was he going to explain that he was traveling in the middle of the night with two kids and a trunk full of suitcases? “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I- They're my kids. We're... moving. I wanted to get there in the morning so we left at this time.” He quickly made up. Thanking himself and taking back the curse from earlier. Maybe he could get out of this one.
“...I see.” He almost sighed in relief when the policeman seemed to believe him. “Can I see yours and your children's ID?”
“Yeah, of course” he handled them quickly; having them close beforehand. - Sirius and Regulus had Wizard IDs, but they also had Muggle IDs. [Y/N] made sure of that. Plus, they were both born in Muggle Hospitals. So in the eyes of law, they were two Muggle children. And [Y/N], despite his mother being a wizard, had his Muggle ID too. He wasn't born in a Muggle Hospital; but he was registered in the Muggle General Registry Office thanks to his father; who was a Muggle.
“Very good,” The officer said. Nodding. Handing back the ID cards. “Do you mind if we check the trunk?”
“No, of course.” He said, as if he really had a choice. He was calm about the trunk; there was nothing strange in there. He had clothes, his and the children's, some food, household items that he didn't want to part with. - He regretted all the things he had to leave behind at home. Their stuff, the boys toys, the photos. Things that [Y/N] would never see again and it broke his heart. At least he knew he was saving the most important thing: his children. But he didn't hesitate to bring a photo album with him. And some old love letters.
“Okay, everything in order here.” The officer returned to his window, bringing him out of his slight reverie. He nodded. “Everything alright with the kids?” The officer couldn't help but add. It was true; Sirius and Regulus looked tense. And tired. [Y/N] would be suspicious too. Which was stupidly kind of him knowing that if he was arrested here he would be separated from his children.
“Yeah, they're fine. I had to wake them up, so they're a little tired but they're fine. I'll let them sleep on the ride.” He said. Again, the policeman seemed to believe him.
“Okay Sir. You can go on.” The officer said, leaning out the window to give the children a smile. “Get some rest, lads. It's going to be a long night.”
Indeed it will. Sirius gave the officer a stiff nod and soon [Y/N] was leaving. Sighing in relief. Thanking heaven and hell that the officer didn't check him, otherwise he would have found the wand in his coat. - For protection, he had to keep it close. The streets were not safe. And although being found carrying a wand was a sure death sentence, in these conditions, he couldn't afford to go without it either. Much less with the children with him.
The minutes kept passing and the car didn't stop. [Y/N] drove as fast as he could without raising suspicion. The streets were dark and the children didn't recognize them anymore. They were far from home; that was for sure. - Sirius stayed wide awake even though his body ached with sleep. His eyes were heavy, drooping shut at times. His father told him he could sleep, that it was okay, but Sirius didn't want to. The feeling of constant tension and danger in the car kept them all awake and alert. Sirius held his little brother close.
[Y/N] was tense. He wasn't having a good time. He was tired, too. His mind had been on alert and panicked for days, while he was organizing an escape plan from his own house. - [Y/N] knew he couldn't stay in that house after all that happen. — He moved to that neighborhood in his early twenties. The house belonged to his aunt, his mother's sister, who was a witch. She disappeared one day, probably murdered, and the house was left in his mother's name. [Y/N] moved there and lived there until now. Sirius and Regulus were raised there, and their neighbors knew him and knew who he was. - [Y/N] knew he had wizard neighbors. Or suspected so. No one trusted anyone; wizards didn't reveal themselves to other wizards they didn't have a close relationship with. But [Y/N] knew there had to be more wizards in that place.
And there was. Or, well, were. A young couple, newly married. They were murdered a week ago, discovered in some way that [Y/N] had no idea about. They were executed in the central square of the neighborhood. [Y/N] had to be there. It was frowned upon not to go and witness the executions of mages and [Y/N] did not wanted to be seen in a bad light. So he was there. - He could still remember the screams of the woman, crying as she watched her husband being decapitated with a machete. [Y/N] couldn't handle staying there for long, returning home with a lump in his throat and the desperate need to be there to protect his sons. The next day, their burned and unrecognizable bodies were still lying in the middle of the square where Sirius and Regulus were playing days before. - He knew he couldn't stay there. That he had too much to lose, that he couldn't take the risk, that he had to get out of there. So, as soon as he felt his neighbors looking at him strangely and whispering among themselves, [Y/N] began to plan how to get out of there as soon as he had the chance.
He had heard of this place. This refuge created by wizards. It was called The Order of the Phoenix. Run by Dumbledore, a famous old Minister who had been very present during the war and before. Dumbledore was the man who prevented the war against Muggles in 1919, 'The war that never happened'. And was present now too. [Y/N] didn't quite know what Dumbledore was up to at the moment. Wizarding newspapers were hard to come by but [Y/N] managed to discover the existence of the Order of the Phoenix. He heard stories of families being taken in there. The place was a refuge for wizards fleeing war. Adults, children. Families, singles. All kinds of wizards. And right now, all [Y/N] needed a shelter for his sons.
[Y/N] had no family left. He had no one to turn to. His father and mother died weeks after Sirius was born. Killed by the war. His mother, a witch, was killed like all wizards were killed; burned. His mother was burned alive at a stake in the middle of the village like they did with every wizard who was discovered. The Muggle Ministry managed to take charge of his father, putting him in prison for having married a witch. [Y/N] didn't know if he was still alive but, oh, he knew. He just knew. Muggle prisons were hostile, not just to wizards, but to themselves as well. [Y/N] knew his father was no longer alive. It was painful to know that his parents didn't even get to have a grave with their names on it. And it was even more painful knowing that Sirius and Regulus never got to met their grandparents. It was a mourning that [Y/N] continued to carry and would carry for life. Being attacked by how his loving parents were killed in such a horrible way. So dirty, so cruel. But, he was a father himself now. And he would trade the world for the moon if it meant not letting that happen to his children. He wouldn't let that happen to his children.
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I know, I KNOW you guys want more but WAIT. I had to cut it there. The chapter was actually supposed to be longer but it was already too long so you'll have to wait for part 2. And, sorry for having to cut the chapter so abruptly. Whatever, DID YOU GUYS LIKED THAT?? honestly I'm so proud of myself jsjjsj 🤭 I have no idea where all this came from but I HAVE MORE. So, wait for part two. I promise it gets even better. The next chapter gets so INTERESTING. I mean, THINGS HAPPEN. Wait for it I promise it's worth it.
See you soon!
Btw, have you noticed that I'm posting more often? that's actually crazy
:P
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multifandom-exe · 14 hours ago
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Leather Jackets and Ketchup ‘Mishaps’- S.Black x Reader 
Word Count: 2.7k (my longest yet :p)  Request: hey there! can i get one with prompts 79, 174 and 175, with Sirius, please? thank you!  Prompts: 79. No its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes”  174. “Did you see what she was wearing?”  175. “So what if I had sex with your ex?” 
A/N: this is a rewrite of an old fic from nearly 5 years ago. Find the terrible original here. Lmk if ive improved.  Warnings: None rlly, swearing, kissing, marlene hate (sorry marlene your my wife but youre sacrificed to the story) 
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 A hogsmeade weekend! Practically the only thing keeping the students of Hogwarts from pitching themselves off the astronomy tower during their 6th year. You and Lily had planned to meet up with the boys later on for some drinks an some shopping, definitely spurred on by Lilys growing affection to James (no matter how much she denies it). 
You stared into the full-length mirror stuck to the wall. It felt as though something was missing in your outfit. Youd worn your favorite today, but it still didn't feel like enough. Lily sat on the bed behind you, looking as perfect as ever. 
“Can you stop hogging the mirror please, i need to do my makeup!” She nudged you with her leg that was hanging off the bed as a giggle bubbled up from her throat. 
“My outfit is not suffering because you want to look nice for James Potter!” You turned to her with that sly look as her face dusted rosy, pink, whilst she spewed phrases of denial. 
“Well, my makeup is suffering because you want to look nice for Sirius.” Now it was your turn to gasp.  
She had this idea that you were in for it with Sirius. You disagreed of course. Sure, i mean, you had feelings for him, you liked him. He was funny, attractive, and almost as smart as you. But it had been 6 years, if there was going to be any movement on that front, besides flirting that could make Casanova blush, it probably would've happened already. You were trying to let it go, but its difficult when you see him every day. 
“Not true! You know he doesnt like me like that, im totally over it!” You began observing yourself in the mirror again, as she gave you that, ‘whatever you say’, look. “Speaking of, though, a nice leather jacket is just what this outfit needs, do you have one?” Lily agreed and turned to look into her trunk for a jacket.  
“No, sorry sweetheart”.” You jutted your lip out and frowned a little. There goes your perfect outfit.  
After a little more observing in the mirror, whilst you watched Lily apply her makeup on the floor, the obvious thought entered your head. “You know who does have a leather jacket.” That mischievous smirk littered your face. “Sirius.”  
Lily then put a head in her hands, and you could see her reaction in the reflection of the mirror. “Sure you don't have a thing for him?”  
“Shut up lils, your just jealous of how goooood im gonna look.” You guessed Sirius wouldn't have a problem with it. Youd shared a lot of things over the years. Blankets, books, food, tea, you name it. 
She chuckled at that and finally stood up, giving herself a final glance in the mirror. “You know the boys will have a fit when they see you in that.” 
You rolled your yes, laughing softly. “Yeah, because those boys are the authority of fashion.” 
She giggled at that too, before picking up everything she needed for the day. “Well, whilst you commit grand larceny, im going to go get my pancakes!” She drawled sarcastically as she turned to leave.  
You muttered a soft goodbye as you also grabbed everything you needed. The boys had said before that you were free to use their dorm whenever, although Remus did add ‘Not for nefarious purposes Casanova’. You slipped out of your dorm, your boots hitting the floor with purpose. A woman on a mission. A leather jacket mission.  
The door to their dorm creaked open slowly, as if you were trying not to wake them. but you were surprised to see they weren't all still asleep right now, desperately savoring every extra 5 minutes. 
 Their dorm was an exact reflection of each of them. Vinyl records of the latest rock bands on the walls. Books and chocolate strewn about. Stubbed out cigarette butts (Don't tell Minnie). Dirty shoes and outfits from the last quidditch game. Mugs of tea forgotten about. It was so them. Everything you loved about your friends, all perfectly wrapped up in one little room. You made a mental note to spend more time here. 
As your eyes glanced around the room, you finally spotted it, dangling across the back of a chair that was pushed against his desk. It was surprising that it was actually here, since Sirius was very rarely seen without it. It had S.B written on the back in big white letters, and various patches from bands. But according to Mary, ‘the back of my outfit isn't my problem because i can even see it’. 
You slid it across your shoulders and instantly felt more comforted. The familiar scent that you loved enveloped you. You turned and checked yourself out in the boy's mirror. Now this was a complete outfit. Perfect for a Hogsmeade weekend. 
You slipped back out of the boy's dorm and started making your way down to the great hall for breakfast. 
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You pushed open the heavy doors to the great hall, the smell of fresh breakfast food immediately hitting you. You skipped down to the table, going to meet up with the girls to discuss the future Hogsmeade antics.  
You giggled as you jogged past the marauders. With the prettiest smile, you waved to them. “Hi boys, don't cheap out in Hogsmeade later!”. You rushed to meet with the girls, oblivious to all the eyes that were on you. 
As you sat down, the boys, who were a little further up the table, all sat gawking at you. James nudged Sirius excitedly. “D’ya see what Shes wearing mate?” 
He had seen, which is why, when James had asked him, he had barely been able to form a response. He had felt the wind be knocked out of him as he saw you giggling and waving, clad in his leather jacket. It was almost like he was in a trance, raking his eyes over every inch of your frame, wondering how on earth that happened. And how he could get it to happen every single day. His thoughtfulness was broken by his friend's voice belting across the table. 
“Oi, (Y/N), you look absolutely astonishing in Padfoot’s jacket!” The sound of your name made you whip your head up, as you giggled with a blush coating your cheeks. Just as quickly as he had shouted, Lily had shouted back. 
“Dont be jealous James, just because you don't want to share him!” This caused all your friends to burst into a fit of laughter, all except one. Marlene was holding a firm glare at you from across the table. 
The boys vehemently questioned Sirius for the next 5 minutes. Questions of ‘did you know she was gonna wear that?’ or ‘did you finally make a move?’ or ‘i bet you're loving this’. The latter wasn't really a question, more a very correct observation which made him blush. 
Their conversation was cut short however, when they heard a clatter of plates from a little way down the table. They all snapped their heads toward the sound and found you and Marlene glaring at each other across the table. If looks could kill, wow. It had honestly only been a few minutes since you arrived, and they were all puzzled as to what could've happened in such a short time. 
And then, as if you were reading their minds. “So what if you had sex with your ex?” Came from you, as you flicked your head to the side condescendingly. The boys' jaws dropped; they probably would've hit the floor if there wasn't a table in the way. James looked as if he was watching the best soap opera of his life. 
Sirius and Marlene had a fling a few weeks back. It obviously meant more to her than him. And through the pangs of jealousy, you had comforted her. But it seems that wasnt enough for her, she wanted you to drop Sirius entirely. 
Sirius felt a jab into his ribs, and he quickly dragged his eyes away from the scene. “Ow!” He mouthed silently, trying not to disturb the tension. Remus rolled his eyes and mouthed back, ‘did you actually sleep with her?’. Now it was Sirius’ turn to roll his eyes as he whispers. ‘Obviously not, you know she doesn't like me back’.  
‘Yeah, he wishes. Peter added quietly, which caused Sirius to blush and tut, before they all turned their attention back to the scene. 
“Listen, im sorry he didn't want you, but that's no reason to treat me horribly, because he wants me now, is it?” The condescension in your voice was enough to grate on anyone who was on the receiving end. 
“Not wrong on that one.” Remus whispered quietly, causing Sirius to whack his arm lightly. HIs heart rate sped up like crazy. Did you know he liked you, all this time? Or where you just trying to get under her skin. The thoughts felt overwhelming.  
And then, It almost felt as if time slowed, as they watched Marlene snap. She grabbed the jug of pumpkin juice on the table and dashed it all over you. You had an utterly shocked look on your face. Not just because you were covered in pumpkin juice, but also because you were slightly impressed, she stood up for herself.  
But alas, war does not stop because of bravery. Your hand quietly slid a bottle of ketchup under the table as you spoke. Marlene had missed it, but it didn't get past Sirius. “You know Marlene, I wouldn't wanna ruin that pretty fake blonde hair of yours.” You laughed cynically, lifting the ketchup bottle.  
That second, Sirius jumped from his seat and ran down the table, grabbed your waist and hauled you up in his arms. He was already dragging you away as you pressed down on the bottle, squirting it all over her. 
“Ugh! You Bitch!” She screamed as she desperately tried to rub the ketchup from her face, with the girls next to her trying to calm her down. 
You laughed maniacally as you struggled against Sirius's grip while he carried you out of the great hall. Phrases of ‘let go Sirius!’ and ‘it wasn't my fault!’ fell from your mouth. Youd eventually stopped struggling about halfway to the common room, accepting your fate. 
When you finally reached the common room, he dropped you lightly onto one of the couches, and loomed over you, like a teacher about to reprimand you. 
“Sirius! Why did you drag me out of there I was winning?” The adrenaline was still clearly running through your veins as you laughed. By the look on his face, he did not find it funny. 
“(Y/N). You’ve just lost your friendship with Marlene, and potentially just sacrificed your friendship with Lily and Mary.” That definitely soured your mood. Suddenly, it wasn't very funny. “Why, in Godric Gryffindors name, did you do that?” 
You threw your hands down on the couch and pouted. “You wouldn't get it, Pads.” You sighed and tried to turn away from him. 
He had crouched down to your level now, turning you back to him with a hand on your knee. “Oh yeah, what’s so possibly bad that it warranted staining a girl, apparently fake blonde hair, news to me by the way, red with ketchup?” You tried to hide your giggle at his comment and did your best to keep silent. “Seriously, did she insult you or something? Whatever it was couldn't have warranted that.” 
You sighed again as the argument replayed through your head. You could already feel the anger building up in you again. “You should’ve heard what she was saying about you Sirius, it was all ‘he’s this, he’s that’ And then! She insinuated I slept with you, for my own personal gain, not because I liked you, not because Im in love with you, she thought I did it for bragging rights! Which is absolutely ridiculous by the way. Anyone who uses someone for bragging rights is absolutely disgusting, especially if they use you. So no, her insulting me wasn’t enough to warrant ketchup hair, but insulting you was!”  
You were bordering on shouting at this point, although your anger was misdirected. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your shaking hands. After a beat, you lifted your head to look at him, worried youll still find an angry look in his eyes. 
Instead, he was gaping at you. You furrowed your brows, questioning the incredulous look on his face. 
“You said you loved me.” He whispered lightly, worried if he spoke too loudly the words might crack his resolve.  
Your eyes widened as you studied his features. “I did not!” You tried to insist but the shock caused it to come out smaller than intended. 
“Yes, you did! You love me!” A smirk spread across his face as he pointed a finger at you. There was another beat of silence, before you jumped up from the couch and tried to run away from him. 
“Come here!” Unfortunately for you, his tall stature was not just for show, as he quickly caught up with you.  
He caught up with you as you rounded the couch again, pushing you down onto it. He had you captured between his arms. All he did was stare at you, into your eyes. 
“Im sorry your jackets covered in pumpkin juice.” You spoke softly in the space between you two. 
“It's fine i just...” His eyes racked over your figure once more. “I just can't believe your actually wearing my clothes.” 
You giggled in response and muttered low apologies. 
“Plus, I like the taste of pumpkin juice” He smirked, capturing your gaze again. Obviously, you didn’t get the memo, as your response was… 
“Taste? I know you're a dog, but you don't lick your-” but your words were soon cut off by Sirius’ voice. 
“For once in your life, be quiet!” He chuckled lowly before leaning in to capture your lips in a kiss. It was slow at first, soft, almost anticipatory, but it quickly sped up, almost like it was 6 years of emotions spilling out into one kiss. 
“I love you too, by the way” He breathed out as you broke apart, your foreheads laying against each other 
“Well id be very upset if you kissed somebody you didn't like, like that” You giggled, lightly running your hand through his hair. 
“And i love seeing you in my jacket by the way. But maybe next time tell the truth, and dont antagonize and cause a scene.” His reprimand fell short since he had the dopiest grin on his face. “But thank you for standing up for me.” 
You didn't think your grin could get any wider, “Of course.” You lay another kiss on his lips. Maybe Lily was right, you are definitely in for it. 
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 Bonus 
The portrait hole swung open as James, Remus and Peter tried to search for their friend. Who was wrapped up in his own little world with his sweetheart on the couch. 
They stepped through as James tried to shout up to the dorm. “Pads? We're going to Hogsmeade soon!” His shout wasnt answered, so he glanced around the room. He found you two nuzzled together on the couch, only breaking away at the sound of his voice.  
“Oh, Christ alive, Pads get a room! Peter cover your eyes!” James wrapped a hand around his friend's eyes as you and Sirius burst into a fit of giggles on the couch.  
“Were coming!” You both untangled from each other and shifted off the couch. 
“I cant believe that was what got them to confess! A jacket! D’you think it would work the same if i wore Lilys clothes?” And with a smack of the back of his head from Remus, the group left to finally enjoy their Hogsmeade weekend. 
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A/N: lmk how i did, leave requests for any hp character. comment for taglist. i love u
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ellecdc · 1 month ago
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The Bolter
Sirius Black x fem!reader who meet again [5.5k words]
prompt: poly!wolfstar or just Sirius x reader in which they were friends with benefits but it was obvious they loved each other even though they acted like they weren’t. Then, reader finds out shes pregnant and before telling them, they do something stupid. so reader runs away for a few months. When she comes back (only bc she had to for some reason) shes like 6-7 months pregnant
CW: secret pregnancy, angst, FWB to strangers to lovers, second chance fic, post war trauma, both Sirius and reader are meeesssssssssssyyyyy in this! I don't approve of what they've done but I understand it
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“So…she’s coming back?” Sirius asked cautiously, focusing more on the condensation pooling on the coaster underneath his pint than the concerned gazes of his two best friends. 
“Well, I don’t know if she’s coming back, but she’ll be here for Harry’s birthday.” James mollified, sharing a nervous look with Remus.
“Right.” Sirius murmured around a swallow; throat tight and dry though neither the pint nor the pitcher of water in front of him looked as though they’d be able to help him with the matter. 
“Are you going to be alright?” Remus queried, and Sirius offered him the most arrogant scoff he could muster; he missed by a long shot.
“Of course I’m going to be alright.” He huffed. “Why? Can’t two friends see each other after five and a half months of silence?” 
“Sirius-” James started, but Sirius carried on. 
“She’s the only one who’s been silent, you know?” Though he knew that they did indeed both know. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried reaching out.” 
“Pads.” Remus offered consolingly, looking frustratingly like he was going to reach a hand out to Sirius as if he were some over tired toddler on the brink of a meltdown.
“Stop, no I- I’m fine, honest.” He insisted as he took a steadying breath. “I- you… talked to her, then?”
James and Remus shared another look before James allowed the segue. 
“Mostly by owl, but she has spoken on the phone with Lily a few times.” 
Sirius nodded as he considered this; considered the number of owls Sirius had sent that had gone unanswered - perhaps even unopened if the silence meant anything at all.
“She’s…okay?” 
Remus let out a sigh as he shot Sirius a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. “She’s…vague.”
“She doesn’t share a whole lot.” James agreed. “Says she’s fine, things are good. Mostly asks about…all of us, Harry.” 
“She’s still staying with that great aunt,” Remus added, “helping her with the property.” 
“She seeing anyone?” There was no point in pretending that wasn’t the most pressing matter in Sirius’ mind; of course it was. And as angry and bitter as the idea made Sirius, it would have been his own fault, his own doing. He had no one to blame but himself. 
And he’d have to live the rest of his life knowing he was the one who let you slip away - pushed you away - right into the arms of someone else. 
“Not that she’s mentioned.” Remus responded honestly; he couldn’t say for sure that you weren’t, but if you were, you clearly hadn’t said anything about it. 
“Right.” Sirius offered shortly. 
“Pads, I…we would understand if it's too hard for you to see her. If you can’t come-”
“Don’t be daft.” Sirius scoffed deploringly. “I’m not going to miss my godson’s birthday. If anyone should be missing it, it should be her; I’ve been here for the past four and a half months, she’s the one who fucked off for good.”
“Sirius-”
“I don’t understand why you had to invite her!” Sirius shouted then, startling even himself when he realised how breathless he sounded all of a sudden. 
James smiled at him sadly; Sirius wished he’d stop doing that. “We wanted all of Harry’s uncles and his aunt to be there, Sirius…it’s important, yeah? We…we almost didn’t get this chance.”
Sirius could feel a wicked migraine coming on; between talking about you, the close calls and the fact that the group of you were all alive following the war by nothing but chance, and the fact that the person Sirius was most angry with was himself, he downed the rest of his pint and flagged the server in favour of having to look at the pitiful gazes being shot at him by Remus and James.
Sirius couldn’t tell if he was eager for Harry’s second birthday or dreading it. But like it or not, Sirius was going to be seeing you again. 
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It had felt like a good idea at the time.
It felt beyond foolish now, but it had felt like a good idea at the time. 
*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐
“Sirius, we just won. We just won, why do you have to leave now?” You practically begged as you followed Sirius through his flat. 
“Because if I don’t get out now, I’m going to be stuck here for eternity.” He all but spat at you as he shoved articles of clothing into his duffle rather haphazardly. You felt like grabbing the bag from him and folding them properly if the act wouldn’t leave you feeling like you were aiding and abetting his abandoning you.
“But what about James? And Remus? What about Harry? You fought this war for them, and they for you - we just got them back!”
“And they’ll be here when I’m ready to come home!” Sirius shouted; turning to look at you with wild, red rimmed eyes. 
“What about me?” You asked quietly, hating how small you sounded.
“What about you?” He asked; face falling painfully neutral. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought he was occluding. 
“I…I don’t know.” You started awkwardly, shrugging one shoulder. “I thought…maybe we’d have a chance now. To try?.”
“Y/N.” Sirius sighed as he rubbed harshly at his eyes; entire being oozed exhaustion at having to have this conversation with you. “Have I not been entirely clear about what this was between us?” 
“Right.” You agreed quickly, biting roughly on your lip and looking anywhere but at him as he let his hand fall away from his face. 
“It’s…it’s not you, doll-” but even your humourless scoff didn’t derail him “I’m not the kind to settle down and be content I- I wouldn’t be enough for you.”
“I’m not asking you for any more than what we have, Sirius-”
“Yes you are.”
“-I just want you to stay.”
“That’s too much for me.” He stated; his voice never raised though he may as well have screamed it at you. “I cannot sit here and play house, I cannot be that guy for you.”
“Cannot or will not?” You asked quietly, regretting the question the second it came out of your mouth and he looked at you with nothing but pity in his eyes. 
“Y/N…”
“I’m sorry I asked.” You let out with a chuckle as you harshly wiped tears from under your eyes. 
“It’s…it’s not forever, yeah? I just…I can’t see myself being happy here…not right now, at least; not for a while.” 
“Where will you go?” Your voice grated painfully as it came out, but you tried to keep an air of nonchalance about you. You wouldn’t look at him, but you could see his shoulders shrug helplessly. 
“I don’t know…everywhere. Anywhere.”
Anywhere was better than stuck here with you, apparently. 
“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is.” You offered, and you found that you meant it. As much as it hurt to say, you really, really meant it. Sirius had been fighting and running his entire life, and he finally won. If he wanted to celebrate his victory by taking off to be that rich, vague uncle who popped by with lavish gifts every so often, who were you to deny him? 
You loved him.
You were in love with him.
You loved him enough to let him go. 
*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐
He had sent James a postcard a few weeks later. Turns out he started in the South of France; his family had a home there that had been left untouched by the war, and Sirius was going to start by figuring out what to do with the property. 
And you? Well, you found out you were pregnant. 
You suppose it was a small mercy that Sirius wasn’t here to know; you’re sure it would have hurt more hearing him tell you he was leaving if there were two of you he couldn’t find it in him to love. You would have hated it even more if he felt trapped into staying with you just for this.
But all this meant was that you couldn’t stay, either. 
You supposed that was alright, though; the life you wanted to build here was with Sirius. You loved your friends, but you had a little one to think about now, too. 
You made up a story about a great aunt needing help tending to her property and wishing to be closer to your relatives now that you could be, now that it was safe. No one questioned it, likely because Remus had done the same following the war; moving back home to help his dad and ailing mother tend the property in whatever ways he could. 
You found yourself a little cottage, you wrote to the boys and had the occasional phone call with Lily, and you grew.
It had felt like a good idea at the time. 
But now you were almost six months pregnant and returning home for the first time since you moved to celebrate your nephew’s birthday with all of your closest friends, the love of your life whose child you were carrying, and none of them knew. 
You wondered if you should even go, but the thought of missing out on sweet Harry’s second birthday that the lot of you almost never got the chance to see made your throat constrict with tears you refused to shed since the war. 
You wondered if you should tell everyone before you arrived, but the thought of them all discussing you and your pregnancy without you being there left you feeling small and ashamed. 
You wondered if you should tell Sirius, but you looked over at the stack of unopened letters he had sent to you in the past four months - the first thin, perhaps a postcard, the second and third were thicker, the fourth was by far the thickest (like he had drafted an autobiography that he wanted you to proofread for him), the fifth was similar to the second, whilst the sixth (the last) couldn’t be more than one page - and wondered how the hell you’d even start that conversation after all this time.
Hey, remember me? Yeah, the bird who caught feelings during our friends with benefits situation that we both agreed would remain platonic amidst a battle for survival and then begged you to stay with no success? Well, whilst you’ve been off probably shagging every beautiful woman across the British Isles, I’ve been pregnant. Right, with your child. How was France, by the way? 
You swallowed around your gag reflex and groaned at your image in the mirror. You put on a pair of gingham pants with the baggiest band-tee you could find, planned on sucking in the best you could if anyone (when everyone) insisted on a hug and hoped to every deity that they all just assumed you’d been eating really well since the end of the war. 
You smoothed the fabric over your bump one last time before you left - looking at the proof that, if nothing else, you were protecting more than just yourself, and you let that be enough - before you grabbed Harry’s birthday present and called for Potter Manor, throwing a fistfull of floo powder into your fireplace and travelling by way of the flames. 
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You could hear Harry squealing in delight in one of the adjacent rooms as you stepped into the floo reception room at Potter Manor; a smile taking over your face uninhibitedly at the sounds of the people you loved more than life itself, happy and celebrating.
How could you have gone so long without this? 
“Y/N!” Lily shrieked as she made for you, and you sucked in before returning her hug. “Merlin, you're glowing! Where’s your aunt's place again?” 
“Erm. Killarney.” You offered; not entirely untrue - you did have an aunt in Killarney. 
“Well,” she let out with a breath, eyes turning a touch glassy as they darted across your face, “it seems that Irish air’s been for you.” 
You smiled back at your friend before pulling her back in for another hug. “I’ve missed you, Lils.”
“Don’t let it go so long next time, yeah? We can come to you, too; I’m teaching James how to be a muggle, and Harry’s only had the odd burst of accidental magic yet. We could play the part in front of your aunt.” 
“I’d love that, Lily.” You responded earnestly. 
“Y/N!” James hollered then before you were being bodily tackled by the former quidditch chaser, a brief flash of anxiety at his hold around your stomach abating only when he relinquished his hold on you. “Where in the sodding hell have you been!?”
“Killarney.” Lily answered for you. 
“I love Killarney!” 
“Have you ever been to Killarney, Prongs?” Remus asked then, appearing in the door as he leaned against the archway. 
“No! But I love it there! I just know it!” 
“Hey Moony.” You greeted, quickly accepting his open arms and breathing him in.
“We’ve missed you.” He murmured into your hair, and you couldn’t help the traitorous hitch in your heart that he might’ve meant-
“Uncle Pafoo!” Harry squealed, suddenly standing right underneath you. 
“That’s right, Haz!” The voice that haunts your dreams called out. “Auntie is here!”
“Hullo, Harry!” You cheered as you picked him up, sucking in before settling on your hip. “Happy birthday, little dude.” 
“Am two!” He announced as he held up four fingers. 
“You are two! Way to go!” You laughed. “Is everyone here?” You asked the room, shooting Sirius a tight smile so you couldn’t be accused of hostility when your heart stuttered for an entirely different reason. 
He looked tired - a bone deep tired that no amount of sleep could rectify - and the bags under his eyes seemed to be chronic. But he was still so beautiful; his hair had grown slightly longer since the last time you’d seen it, the last time you’d run your fingers through it, the last time you’d brought sheers to it, and he donned more than a few new tattoos if the few you could see were enough to go by. 
You had to look away.
“Reg’s going to be by after work; his part-time student called in sick so he needed to be there to close the shop himself. Thankfully, they’re only open in the morning on Sunday’s.” Remus explained kindly.
“Good, it’ll be nice to see him.” You offered, and the room fell slightly awkward.
“Uncle Pafoo, aeroplane?” Harry asked then, and whatever exhaustion seemed to be plaguing Sirius vanished as he beamed at his godson. 
“Absolutely, little man!” He agreed, holding his arms out and taking Harry’s weight from you.
“Do you want something to drink, Y/N? Wine? Beer, Cider? Juice? Water?” James rapid fire, causing Lily to groan. 
“We just got her back, Potter. Do try to control yourself.” 
“Water would be great, Jamie. Thank you.” You laughed, following the group into the open concept kitchen-to-living room. 
Save the fact that you and Sirius seemed to be doing acrobatics to avoid each other, you were almost stunned at how easy and natural being back here felt. Regulus returned and the two of you shared friendly jibes, Lily caught you up on all of the drama at the Ministry, James strong armed you into agreeing to join them for their next pub quiz night, and Remus said that your old professors all wished you well. 
You loved your cottage - the home you’d built for yourself and your little one - but you found yourself feeling homesick for here, and you hadn’t even left yet.
You were leaning on your elbows against the kitchen island, watching Sirius and Regulus pretend to be knights in shining armour as they fought off a fire breathing dragon (Harry) to save the princess (James) when Remus appeared beside you and mirrored your stance. 
“It’s not the same without you, you know?” He murmured then. 
“But they seem to be alright.” You responded simply, and Remus allowed the two of you to fall into silence for a few beats.
“How far along are you?” 
You stood up straight and turned to stare at him in horror, only to see him smiling kindly at you. 
“How do you-”
“Lycanthropy - I could smell it on you.” He said with an embarrassed wrinkle of his nose. “I knew Lily was pregnant before she did.”
You shushed him and looked over your shoulder to ensure no one else could hear you.
“Come.” He said with a sigh, gently taking you by the elbow and ushering you out of the sliding doors to the back yard and closing it behind the two of you. 
“Remus-”
“Is it his?” He cut you off; his face held no judgement though perhaps just a touch of concern. For you or his best friend/virtual brother-in-law, you weren’t sure.
“Yes.” You whispered, not bothering to clarify who he was talking about; you both knew. 
Remus simply nodded as he looked you over. “Is that why you left?”
“He left first.” You hissed petulantly.
“He left you, but you left all of us.” Remus countered somewhat sternly. “Besides, I didn’t ask about him; is this why you left?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” 
“Because, Remus!” You shouted, tears flooding your vision as you turned to look at him. “Because he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want me. I wasn’t going to force him to come back just because… just because.” 
“Don’t you think he should have been able to make that choice for himself?” Remus asked gently.
“He chose! He did choose! He told me he couldn’t play house, he told me he couldn’t be this person for me. I loved him enough to accept that. I loved him enough to let him go.”
“Loved?” Remus asked with a tilt of his head. “Past tense?” 
“Remus.” You groaned. “Please.”
“He came back for you, you know.” Remus pointed out. “He left you, you left us, but he came back for you.” 
“Stop it.”
“It’s true, Y/N.”
“And so what if it is?” You nearly sobbed. “So what if he did, Remus? What can I do? I can’t go back in time and change my mind, I can’t go back and fix this. He made choices, I made choices, and here we are.” 
Remus heaved a sigh and looked at you sadly. “I don't think either of you realise that your choices don’t have to remain permanent; there can be an expiration date on them.” 
You were catching your breath from your mini temper tantrum when you heard the glass door slide open, both you and Remus turning to see Sirius standing there almost shy - far shier than you’d ever seen him before.  
“Just talk to him? Okay? You..don’t have to tell him now, just…talk to him.” Remus whispered before heading towards the door, clapping Sirius on the back before disappearing back into the house. 
“Hey.” Sirius offered cautiously after a few beats of silence, coming to stand beside you as the two of you looked over the railing of the patio to the rest of the manor grounds. 
“Hey.” You returned dumbly, clearing your throat before continuing. “You…you look good, Sirius.”
Sirius scoffed, and you could feel your shoulder rising before you saw him smirk at you - if not somewhat sadly - cutting you a playful glare from the corner of his eye. “Did you take up lying there in Ireland?” 
You let out a breathy half-laugh. “I’m not lying.” 
“Then you need glasses. I look like shite.”
“You look tired.” You amended. 
“I’m exhausted.” He agreed, and the two of you lapsed into silence. 
“You look good, though.” He continued. “Healthy.”
You hummed in agreement. “Funny what not having to run on rations and broken hours of sleep on military cots does for a person.”
“Why haven’t I heard from you, Y/N?” He blurted then, turning his entire body to face you. 
“Sirius, I-”
“Everyone else has. You’ve spoken to Lily on the phone. James and Remus have gotten letters. Even Reg got a postcard for his birthday.” 
“I’m sorry.” Was all you could manage to say.
“I wrote to you.” He continued. “Letters, a lot. Did you get them?”
You nodded your head yes shamefully.
“Did you read them?”
You felt your heart splinter at how hopeful and heartbroken he sounded over it. You felt like scum of the earth when you shook your head no, and he let out a sigh.
“I guess that makes me feel a little bit better, then.” He said as he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. 
You found yourself taking a step away from him when you asked “why does that make you feel better?”
He let out a humourless laugh that forced smoke from his lips. “At least now I know that my begging for a second chance, begging you to come home, professing my love for you isn’t what kept you away.”
“Sirius-”
“I messed up, Y/N.” He declared earnestly. “I…I was fucking scared, terrified. I’d spent so much of my life living with one foot on the threshold of hell that after the war, I didn’t know how to live amongst the undead.”
He took a moment to catch his breath as if he’d run all the way here just to tell you something. “And I ran. I bolted, I…”
“You left.” You finished for him. 
“I left.” He agreed. “I… I didn’t know, Y/N.”
“Didn’t know what?” You asked as you choked back tears.
“Didn’t know what I had, or what I wanted. Or that I had everything that I wanted.”
“And you do, now? You know what you want?” You asked, and a look of determination painted his features as he met your gaze head on.
“For my entire life, I had never known what family meant, so I wasn’t even aware that I’d created my own with all of you until I’d risked it all. I was so sure I didn’t want to be like my parents that I never realised I may actually…want to be a parent someday. I was so sure I didn’t want to be my father that I never realised I actually did want to be a partner someday. I was so certain I’d never know what true love felt like that I didn’t even realise I had it right here all along with you.” 
“Sirius-”
“I messed up. I left. But what I don’t understand is why you did. Or why you stayed away.” He took a step towards you with his cigarette long forgotten in one of his hands, the ash threatening to burn his fingers before you plucked it and stubbed it out on the stone railing. He barely flinched. “Why’d you go?”
“I didn’t want to sit around and wait for you, Sirius. I- it hurt, I was hurt. And then-”
“I’m sorry.” He offered quickly, but you shook your head.
“I’m not telling you this for you to be sorry, I just-”
“I came back for you.”
“But it wasn’t just about me anymore, Sirius!” You shouted then, and you watched his brows furrow before his face fell in horror. 
“You’re seeing someone.” He asked, though he phrased it as more of a statement; like he’d been expecting it.
“I’m not seeing anyone, Sirius.” You sighed.
“Then why’d you leave? Why’d you stay away?”
“Because I’m pregnant.” You blurted, and Sirius fell silent. “I’m almost six months pregnant.”
“Six-” He started, eyes falling to your stomach still hidden behind the baggy article of clothing before you smoothed the fabric over your ever rounding bump. “Six months. Six…”
You let him do the maths in the head as he stared hard at your stomach like he was sitting in divination and it was a crystal ball that might just give him the answers if only he stared at it long enough.
“It’s mine?” He finally concluded.
“Yes.” You whispered.
“It’s mine. You’re pregnant, it’s mine.” He murmured, before his eyes met yours again. “You’re pregnant with my child?”
“Right.” You agreed, and he crumpled to a heap on the floor. 
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“Sirius Orion Black,” Sirius heard Remus hiss, clearly hovering somewhere over him, “I swear to Godric if you do not wake up and eat some of this godsdamned vanilla cake you bought, your brother is going to skin you alive.” 
“It’s true.” James agreed from somewhere on Sirius’ other side. “He actually ran to the store when he found out you bought vanilla because he knew Remus wouldn’t eat any of it. Remus is going to get his chocolate cake, and you’re going to get egged.” 
“Shut up.” Sirius hissed as he scrunched his eyes closed. “Fuck.”
“How do you feel, mate?” James asked rather jovially as he clapped him roughy on the shoulder.
“Like hell.”
“Why’s that?” Remus joined in.
“Because I was in the middle of a dream and you sods woke me up going on about cake.” He muttered as he opened his eyes, realising then that he’d been propped up on a number of cushions in one of Lily and James’ spare rooms.
“S’he awake?” Lily whispered, and Sirius craned his neck to see you and Lily poke your heads into the room.
“Oh my gods.” Sirius breathed as he sat up, likely far too fast for someone who fell unconscious mere moments ago. “Oh my gods, you’re actually here?” 
“Did you hit your head, mate?” James asked as he prodded at Sirius’ head, causing Sirius to swat his arms away as he shifted towards the edge of the bed.
“You’re here.” He whispered as you slowly made your way into the room.
“I’m here.” You offered cautiously, eyes darting around at your oldest friends like there might be some secret threat lurking in the room.
“You’re pregnant…” He tried then, punching the air right out of Lily and James who both spun to stare at you in shock.
You smoothed the fabric of your shirt over your midsection again to expose a very obvious (now that everyone could actually see it) baby bump. 
“Oh my gods!” Lily and James chorused, causing Remus to snort.
“You knew, didn’t you!?” Lily accused Remus who held his hands up in surrender. 
“Only when she walked in, and not a second sooner.” 
“With my child.” Sirius continued, and you nodded at him. 
“Y/N.” Lily winced. “You-”
“You sodding scared me!” You shrilled then, grabbing one of the throw pillows James had dumped onto the ground to make room for Sirius and swinging it at him.
“I scared you!?” Sirius shrieked right back, much to the delight of Harry who started banging on the throw pillow that had landed beside him. 
“I thought I killed you!”
“Oh, well I’m terribly sorry that finding out the woman I’ve been in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months - who was missing for all intents and purposes, may I remind you - is pregnant with my child happened to be a little shocking.” Sirius sneered sarcastically. 
“Well I only went ‘missing’ because the man I’ve been hopelessly in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months took off an-” The abrupt end of your statement nearly gave the room whiplash as you cut yourself off mid sentence and stared at Sirius like you’d never seen him before. 
“What…what just happened?” James whispered carefully.
“Years?” You whispered then, and Sirius hated every version of himself that deigned to let you go without knowing just how loved you were.
“Probably when we were still just cosmic dust.” Sirius smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t always realise, I’m sorry I didn’t make sure that you knew.”
“I take it to guess there isn’t an aunt in Killarney?” Lily offered then, smiling kindly at you when you turned your attention towards her.
“No, I- I think there actually is an aunt in Killarney, I just don’t live with her.”
“Where do you live?” Sirius asked eagerly, wondering if you could hear it in his voice or even see on his face just how desperate he was to know everything about you.
“Near Tintagel.” You offered abashedly as Remus slapped his hand on his thigh.
“You minx!” He scolded you. “You lived basically across the channel from me this whole time!”
“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is” You offered him then, smiling through your tears as Sirius swallowed around his bile threatening its way up his oesophagus.
“I hope it’s nice.” Sirius blurted suddenly, and Sirius thanked the heavens for Remus John Lupin who seemed to understand that the conversation delved beyond the need of an audience, scooping Harry up and closing the door behind Lily, James, and himself to give you two some privacy. 
“It’s nice.” You offered wetly. “It’s quiet.”
Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. “In Tintagel, near Merlin’s cave?”
You laughed, which saw Sirius smiling. “I’m not right in Tintagel, just outside. My neighbours are mostly sheep.” 
“Does it have a picket fence?”
“To keep the sheep out of my garden.” You nodded with a smile.
“Flowers; lots of them.” Sirius deduced, you nodded again though Sirius watched your smile falter.
“You’d probably hate it.”
“Are you there?” He asked quickly.
“Well, usually, yes.” You offered, and Sirius shrugged easily.
“Sounds as though it might be my favourite place in the world, then.” 
The next breath that left you shuddered on its way out, and Sirius finally stood and met you in the middle of the room; close enough to touch but not daring to. He hadn’t earned that right yet. 
“Take me with you?” He all but begged then, and your face crumpled in misery.
“Sirius, I don’t want you to follow me because you have to, I-”
“I don’t have to though, I know I don’t; I know you’d never make me.” He assured you then, lifting a hand but pausing to wait for you to nod at him before he placed it on your upper arm. “The letters, Y/N, I- I’ve been looking for you for months.”
A sob tore through you as you lowered your head, and Sirius allowed himself to catch it in his free hand. 
“I don’t want you to feel bad; I’m not telling you so that you feel bad, love.” The endearment falling off his tongue so easily now that he had you in his arms. “But I need you to know that I want you - any of you, all of you - and have for a very long time.” 
“It’s just…you said-” and Sirius knew exactly what he said; he had played that conversation over and over and over in his mind until he found himself sick over it more than once. But we waited for you to tell him anyhow; he’d always wait for you. “You couldn’t settle down and be content, you couldn’t play house; you weren’t that kind of guy.” 
“I know, doll. I know.” He whispered. “I…I didn’t think I was capable of it. I didn’t think I deserved everything I wanted and I knew that you deserved better. That you deserve better.”
“But?”
“But I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life trying to prove you otherwise; trying to give you everything you deserve.”
“Sirius…” You sighed, and Sirius could see your walls cracking. “I…I’m-”
“Take me home? Please?” He begged then, words interrupted by a sob of his own. “To Tintagel, to Killarney, to bloody fucking Azkaban or the bottom of the sodding ocean, I don’t care where it is just as long as it’s with you, please. Please.”
Your hands landed on Sirius’ chest and he was sure you could feel his hummingbird heart beating under your fingertips. He only hoped you knew how it beat for you. 
“Please bring me home?”
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James didn’t know if he could consider this a success or not. 
His motivation was not singular; it was a ‘hit two fairies with one gobstone’ sort of scenario, so to speak. Was his son turning two? Indeed he was! Was James throwing a party for said son’s birthday? You’re damned right he was. But was it also a really good excuse to force two of his idiot best friends into the same room again? Absolutely.
Except James seems to have gotten slightly more than he bargained for; Sirius falling unconscious in his childhood backyard, you sobbing into Lily’s shoulder out in the hallway as he and Remus tried to bring him back from the dead, Remus sneering at a slice of birthday cake like it personally offended him and Regulus threatening to defend his boyfriend’s honour, and - apparently - a new niece or nephew coming in the next three-ish months. 
But when he looked over to see you and Sirius emerging from the spare room - both of your faces tear stained and puffy from the grief and torment you no doubt put yourselves through - hands intertwined between your bodies and your hand resting protectively over your growing bump, and a spark in Sirius’ eyes James had thought he lost in the war but now realised he only lost when he lost you…
…yeah, James figured he could probably consider this a success.
2K notes · View notes
tsukimirecs · 2 months ago
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GRYFFINDOR BOYS
note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works
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FRED WEASLEY
mad woman
cupid crystals
a special friend
recovering a life
deep breath
strawberry letters
date after date
SIRIUS BLACK
complimentary quills
just a natural fact
brighten your days
black dog neighbour
padfoot
HARRY POTTER
harry potter and the long-lost beach episode
harry potter and the late-night company
potter love
gifts
green-eyed idiot
romancing professor potter
CHARLIE WEASLEY
creative writing class
favourites
taming the dragon tamer
lucky charm
let's pretend
GEORGE WEASLEY
heart-to-heart chase
beating a weasley
well-meaning deceit
see you again
it's definitely you
coming home
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daenysx · 3 months ago
Note
12:47 am + poly!marauders!!
12.47 AM | POLY!MARAUDERS
"she's asleep, jamie." remus whispers as his huge hand works wonders on your back.
"i can carry her to bed." james tells his boyfriend, his fingers play with sirius's hair.
"no, let's just stay here." sirius disagrees. "for a little longer."
james is gorgeous when he smiles. so gorgeous, it makes remus's chest fill with the most tender waves of affection. he stares at the boy's lips for a second, his hand on you never stops.
"i'm gonna fall asleep-" sirius says with a needy smirk, his eyes half open. "if you keep doing that."
"yeah, as if it's not what you want all the time."
"come on, prongs. be nice to me, i'm tired."
james smiles. he leans in to give sirius a kiss. "you're a big baby, you know that?"
"mm- you love me, shut up."
sirius curls up into a ball, hugging james's chest with long arms. you still stay on top of remus, ear pressed on his heart. "dove?" he whispers. "do you wanna go to bed?"
you hear him but your ears feel cloudy. it's so warm, you can hear the wind out there. remus is soft, you wanna be buried on his chest. "remus."
"wanna stay here?" he asks, gently.
you nod. you don't even know what you're saying yes to, but it's okay when he keeps touching you.
"it's alright." remus whispers. "you can sleep. you've been so tired."
it's the best feeling, to be taken care of in your most vulnerable state. you don't need to think for anything when they are with you, they would do everything to keep you nice and warm, safe and content under the blankets. you snuggle closer. maybe it's possible to stay here forever.
cinnamon girl sleepover ♡
2K notes · View notes
amiableness · 10 months ago
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Little Lies
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Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem! Reader
Summary: James asks Sirius and Y/n to pretend to date after he blurts out they are to Lily.
Word Count: 11.4k
Warnings: smut 18+, male masturbation, oral fem receiving, fingering, unprotected sex (pls be so careful!), reader wears a bikini top, and jealousy
A/N 💌 Hope you all enjoy this; it's been my baby for a while!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I may have severely fucked up.” James sighs, his features tight with guilt as he stands before you. His chest is heaving like he has run all the way to you—it’s a likely theory.
Remus glances up from beside you; the two of you had been buried in your homework in the common room when James came racing in. He’s disappointed that James has disrupted the productive atmosphere. There’s no way that you or Remus will be continuing to work on your essays.
His admission doesn’t surprise you; James has come to you countless times seeking assistance after making a mistake. Being best friends since you were born, you’ve grown accustomed to being the one to untangle his messes.
Your parents were best friends, which meant that you and James were also raised to be. There wasn’t a memory that you could recall that James wasn’t in. It ended up working; to both of your mum’s excitement, you and James were inseparable. As the levelheaded one between you, you often found yourself trailing after James, tasked with picking up the pieces.
It was in the aftermath of pranks spiraling out of control, times when he impulsively voiced things he really shouldn’t have, or instances when he procrastinated excessively on his work, inevitably turning to you for help with his essays. Surprisingly, it’s become almost amusing to you, a reliable routine in your friendship.
You undeniably held the title of James Potter’s best friend.
Your eyes narrow skeptically, folding your arms over your chest, “Define severely.”
His demeanor turns sheepish as he nervously rubs the back of his neck, his gaze drifting away from you. He looks incredibly uncomfortable, “I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“You’re not starting off strong.” You snark, an amused smile finding its way onto your lips. Remus chuckles next to you.
“Y/n.” James sighs, his expression urging you to stop your teasing.
“James.” You mimic.
He shoots you a glare, eyes narrowed in mock irritation, “Lily and I were chatting, like really chatting,” He begins, sighing obnoxiously as he settles into the chair opposite you, his expression a grimace. “She told me why she hasn’t taken me seriously when I flirt with her.”
You pause, confusion etching into your features, “And where exactly did you severely fuck up?”
“She thought we were a couple.” He says, his hands gesturing wildly between the two of you, his expression a mix of incredulity and amusement. “Can you believe that? You and me?”
You can believe that, actually. You and James have been mistaken for a couple more times than you can count. Even your parents were convinced the two of you would end up together. While you had told them it wasn’t going to happen, you were convinced they were still holding out hope.
You furrow your brows as you watch him a tad uneasy, “Okay, and where did you severely fuck up in this?”
“I panicked, okay?” James looks guilty when he blurts this out. He nearly shouts it, and Remus hushes him. “She said it wasn’t fair for me to flirt with her because of you. She didn’t want your feelings to be hurt and wouldn’t listen when I said we were just friends. And I panicked.”
“Mate, get to the bloody point.” Remus huffs out, tired of James dragging out the story. Nothing bothered Remus more than when James or Sirius took an eternity to get to the point of their story.
“I told her you’re dating Sirius.” James grimaces, shifting nervously.
“What?” You hiss, your palms smacking onto the table, causing James to flinch, “Have you taken too many hits to the head? James, we are not dating!”
James protests, panicking, “But Lily doesn’t know that! If you two could just pretend-“
“No, absolutely not! That is going too far.” You snap, sending James a frustrated look, while Remus is chuckling to himself next to you.
“Y/n, please. This could be it! My chance with Lily!” James pleads. He’s desperate to try and salvage the plan he had put all his hopes on.
“Starting your new relationship with a lie, are we?” You snap, massaging at your temples. Most of the stress is from spending too many hours studying, but James is undoubtedly making it worse.
James shrugs, a mischievous smirk starting to form, “Well, not really. You and Sirius already flirt a lot. It’s not that far off from the truth.”
James was well aware of your feelings for Sirius; he had watched how you nervously stumbled over your words the first day you met Sirius. He had never seen you like that before, eyes lit up with inflation at first glance.
While he occasionally teased you about it, he understood that what you felt for Sirius was deeper than just a crush. Though you would never admit it out loud.
Your frustration grows, “It absolutely is far off from the truth. Lily probably didn’t even believe you! There’s no evidence for her to believe the idea that we are together.” You cry, disbelief evident in your voice. James’s casual attitude only adds to your frustration. He doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest.
Remus interjects, an amused scoff escaping him, “There’s evidence to believe it.”
“Are you joking?” You deadpan, your voice full of incredulity. Remus sends you a teasing smirk. He considers how Sirius flirts with you more than anyone else, but he doesn’t want to deal with Sirius furious at him.
Ever since you met Sirius, you have had a crush on him. Realistically, you knew it was pointless; Sirius had a fan club of admirers. So, you counted yourself lucky that you were one of his closest friends. Being his friend was manageable, and quite honestly, kept your expectations in check.
But Sirius acting like he had feelings for you? You wouldn’t handle that well.
James interjects, “Lily believed it. She even said she wasn’t surprised.”
“But she thought you and I were together?” You ask, sarcasm dripping from every word.
Your tone was snippier than you intended, but you could feel the stress building. The mere thought of pretending to be with Sirius made you feel nauseous.
“She might’ve just been jealous, wanting to know if you had feelings for James before she finally goes for him.” Remus says casually, and James’ eyes light up in excitement.
James is positively giddy as he leans forward, “You think she was jealous?”
“Does Sirius even know?” You interrupt, catching James’s eye. He glances at Remus, clearly hoping to hear more about Lily’s supposed jealousy.
James shakes his head, and you scoff, opening your mouth to enlighten James on why you think this is a bad idea. Before you can say anything, Remus cuts you off, “Here’s your chance to tell him.”
You glance up to see Sirius walking through the library, and you resist letting out a lovesick sigh at how effortlessly handsome he is.
Your stomach plummets at the sight of a stunning girl effortlessly chatting with him. His laughter rings out, causing unease to settle in your stomach.
If he was close enough, you probably would’ve tried to eavesdrop.
Despite not knowing her name, you know she’s a Gryffindor; you’ve seen her in the common room. James nudges you, and when you glance at him, he sends you a knowing look.
“Glad to see you guys are having study dates without Peter and me.” Sirius calls, settling into the seat next to James and patting him on the shoulder in greeting.
Relief washes over you as you notice that the girl who was with him a second ago is long gone. He glances over at you, and pauses in surprise at your disgruntled expression, “You okay?”
Remus chuckles at the question, finding the harsh look you shoot James hilarious. It’s clear that he’s finding this entire situation entertaining.
“Ask James about what he told Lily.” You say, voice strained with irritation. James sends Sirius a nervous smile, and Sirius looks at him oddly.
“What’d you do?”
Sirius asks, his eyes darting back to you, taking note of your frustrated expression. Your stomach tightens with nerves, scared of Sirius’ reaction. Remus leans back in his chair, excited to see how this will all play out.
“Lily and I were talking today,” James sighs, “and she wouldn’t stop going on about how she thinks Y/n is in love with me and that it’s not fair for me to flirt with her because I could be hurting her.”
“She thinks I’m in love with you?” You shriek, oblivious to the barely visible flinch on Sirius’ face at James’ words. Remus catches it, his grin getting bigger.
James ignores you, “Anyways, I said that it’s not a problem because you and Y/n are dating.” James finishes cautiously, his gaze locked on Sirius, curious for his reaction. Your breath is caught in your throat, your eyes fixed intently on Sirius, awaiting his reaction as well.
“You told Lily that Y/n’s my girl?” Sirius inquires casually, causing your stomach to somersault at his words. You force yourself to focus on James instead of the warmth creeping into your skin.
“I panicked, and that’s what came out. So, if you guys could pretend you’re madly in love, that would be great!” James claps his hands together, and you feel the urge to wack him. You’re prepared to snap at him, to explain why asking this of you both isn’t right.
But then Sirius shrugs, “Sure, shouldn’t be too hard, right, sweet girl?” He says, and your legs feel like jelly.
You’re floundering, not having expected Sirius to agree. He’s never maintained a steady relationship, so pretending that he’s dating you is a big ask. His agreement sends your mind spiraling with different scenarios. For a brief second, you wonder if he agrees so easily because he has feelings for you. But you quickly shut down that thought.
You’re delusional. You truly are.
“Sure, that shouldn’t be too bad.” You agree, hoping you appear casual about this.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I need you two to amp it up. Lily is eating breakfast with us today.” James directs, causing you to glance up from your breakfast, disbelief etched into your features. He takes a bite of bacon and casually observes you as though his request is perfectly normal.
“We’ve switched spots, is that not enough for you?” You ask sarcastically, and Remus shakes his head, wearing an entertained smile as he continues eating breakfast. He can tell you’re panicking about pretending to be with Sirius; it’s painfully obvious to everyone at the table.
You’re usually seated between James and Peter, but when you attempted to slide into the seat this morning, James slammed his hand down on the seat and instructed you to sit next to your boyfriend, wearing a smug smile. Peter snorted softly but quickly replaced it with a sympathetic smile, silently apologizing for his reaction.
“I mean, we all know Sirius is into PDA, and you look terrified to even be sitting next to him.” Peter points out, and you find yourself scrabbling.
Were you two supposed to be super affectionate? Would Sirius find it weird if you initiated it? Questions are flooding your mind leaving you feeling overwhelmed.
“I am not terrified. I just don’t know how to act.” You insist.
“Act like you’re in love with him; it shouldn’t be too hard, right?” James quips, earning a glare from you. He responds with a playful wink.
“The boys are right. You need to sit closer to me.” Sirius declares as his arm slips around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You squeak his name in surprise, flustered at how easily he moves you. The boys chuckle at your bewildered expression, finding your embarrassment hilarious.
You feel disappointed when he releases you. Even more so when he doesn’t pull you flush against him. Instead, your shoulder to shoulder, the distance between you both feeling more pronounced than ever.
“I’m still waiting on the PDA.” Remus says with a playful smirk; his eyes are full of mischief when you glance at him.
You elbow Remus in the side, and he playfully nudges you back, causing you to bump into Sirius’ side. Sirius surprises you by wrapping his arm around you, keeping you against him while playfully calling out, “Oi, back off, mate.” Being pressed against his side causes warmth to spread through you as you lean further into him.
James watches as Sirius’s cheeks flush, a soft smile on his face as he gazes down at you. You appear flustered but content, being so close to him, and James can’t help but grin at the two of you.
“We’re not going to be all over each other.” You say, attempting to distract yourself from the fact that you’re pushed up against Sirius.
“Why not?” James leans forward with a grin, clearly finding everything about this entertaining. “That is what most couples do. Plus, Sirius openly flirts with everyone. But he won’t kiss his own girlfriend? It’s not believable.”
“Merlin, we should have talked about this last night.” You mumble under your breath, and Sirius chuckles beside you. He’s entirely at ease. It doesn’t seem like he has any worries about pretending to be your boyfriend. With that observation, you try not to let your worries spiral out of control.
“Listen, we can do whatever you’re comfortable with. If you don’t want to kiss, then we don’t have to,” Sirius tells you gently, “but it would be sort of odd for us not to be somewhat affectionate.”
The last thing he wants to do is make you feel uncomfortable. But there’s a rush of exhilaration at the thought of holding you close and calling you pet names that were once off-limits. And the thought of possibly kissing you?
Surviving that would be inconceivable for him.
“You’re right,” You nod. “Let’s just start off slow. It will be weird if we’re all over each other today when we didn’t even sit together yesterday.”
“Yeah, yeah! Flirt, be a little touchy, throw some cute pet names in here, will you, Sirius?” James calls out with great enthusiasm. You send him a look that you hope he understands as shut the fuck up. He doesn’t acknowledge your discomfort. Instead, he makes a heart shape with his hands, which adds to your annoyance.
Sirius presses a quick kiss to your temple, “Fuck off, mate. I know how to flirt with my girlfriend, right baby?” You freeze, your eyes widening in disbelief, while the boys laugh at your reaction. How exactly were you supposed to survive this?
You fall into a comfortable silence, happy to enjoy your breakfast as James issues his warnings to the boys, ensuring they behave themselves. Remus, with a subtle eye roll, acknowledges James’s words while Peter nods emphatically in agreement. While, Sirius simply outlines every embarrassing memory he plans to share with Lily.
“Y/n, get your man in check.” James complains in mock irritation, throwing a grape at Sirius, who dodges it.
“Good morning.” Lily greets quietly. You all turn to see her approaching, her expression a mix of embarrassment and hesitance, as if she’s debating whether to turn around and go to her usual spot down the table.
James abruptly stands up, his hip thumping into the table. He stifles a wince, trying to maintain his composure as he greets Lily, who tries unsuccessfully to suppress a smile at his reaction. Remus cringes and turns back to his breakfast, unable to look at James.
“Y’ready for this?” Sirius leans in, his voice lowered to a hushed tone meant only for you, effectively pulling you away from eavesdropping on James and Lily’s conversation. You glance up at him, surprised to find you’re a mere inches away from him.
You’re so close that you could individually count each of his eyelashes if you wanted.
You still feel the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, creating an intimate connection between the both of you.
It feels like a magnetic pull draws you closer, tempting you to tilt your head forward and touch his lips with yours. The urge to kiss him is so strong that it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.
You clear your throat, attempting to push the thought from your mind. “I think so. We’re newly dating, so don’t go overboard with it.” You remind him, a gentle smile playing on your lips.
“When have I ever gone overboard with anything in my life?” The smile he gives you is teasing, and it makes your heart pound to have him this close, his eyes sparkling as he smiles at you.
You hum softly in response, “I can think of quite a few times.”
His voice carries a flirtatious tone, “Can you?”
“Good morning, Lily.” Peter’s gentle voice steals your attention away from Sirius. Disappointment and longing settle in his stomach as he watches you pull away and turn to greet Lily, that sweet smile now directed at her.
Lily settles between Peter and James. For a quick second, you feel a pang of jealousy because that’s your spot. But when you notice James’s pink cheeks and flustered expression, you forget all about it. All you want for James is for him to be happy, and having Lily near seems to do just that.
Breakfast goes smoothly. Lily fits seamlessly into your group, and you can tell it makes James giddy. He doesn’t even mind not getting to talk to Lily much. He simply enjoys seeing the girl he’s so hopelessly infatuated with getting along so well with his best friends.
You and Sirius aren’t acting much differently than you normally do, just sitting close to each other and chatting. However, when Lily turns to you and Sirius, a wave of nervousness washes over you.
“I was so excited to hear you guys were together!”
“Oh yeah? So you can finally go for James with a clear conscience?” Sirius grins, teasing Lily, who looks thoroughly embarrassed. You nudge Sirius in the side, and he responds by giving your hip a gentle squeeze. James sends Sirius an incredulous look, which he pointedly ignores. While Remus and Peter chuckle at the playful banter.
Lily tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and clears her throat; her cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. “Uh, no, just that you two have obviously had feelings for each other for years. Everyone knew.”
You’re at a loss for words. Is that really what people thought? Clearly, they read you right, but you weren’t sure what to think about Sirius having feelings for you. Maybe he did, or maybe they were mistaking it for how he constantly flirted with you. But that was just how Sirius was; it didn’t necessarily mean he had romantic feelings for you.
“Haven’t gotten her out of my head since the day I met her.” Sirius says casually, his right elbow resting on the table as he pops a piece of bacon into his mouth. His other arm remains securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to his side with a gentle yet firm embrace.
You look at him in shock, your eyes widening at his unexpected confession. Even the boys look slightly startled at Sirius’ words, their eyes darting between you and him.
“That’s so sweet.” Lily says softly, her eyes glowing with genuine happiness as she sends you a warm smile. The sight tugs at your heartstrings but also stirs up guilt in the pit of your stomach. Lying always made you feel uneasy like a weight was pressing down on your chest.
“Sirius, I can’t believe you thought that she—“Lily begins, her voice trailing off as James interjects, his interruption tinged with a hint of urgency.
“Okay, love! I think I should walk you to class, don’t y’think?” James stands up from the table, extending his hand towards Lily.
Lily looks slightly confused, but she takes his hand nonetheless. As they walk away, James glances back and sends a wink in Sirius’ direction. Your attention immediately shifts to Sirius, curiosity written all over your face as you’re about to ask about Lily’s interrupted comment.
Sirius cuts you off before you can ask, shaking his head with a gentle smile and flushed cheeks, “Don’t even bother asking; I’m not telling you what she was talking about.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You’re curled up next to Peter on the common room couch, both of you chatting quietly together. For the last twenty minutes, he has been feeding you details about the Ravenclaw girl he has a crush on. He’s sworn you to secrecy. Hoping for your advice on asking her out without enduring the teasing of the rest of the Marauders. Your gasp of excitement nearly gives away the secret, but you quickly compose yourself, offering a reassuring smile to Peter.
“Who is she?” You ask, excitement laced in your voice, but Peter sends you an apprehensive look.
“I’m going to keep that to myself. Your squeal almost let the boys know..” He teases, though his tone also carries a note of seriousness.
A laugh escapes you, “I promise when you’re ready to tell me I’ll be so careful about keeping it a secret.”
“Oi! Are you two sharing secrets over there?” James calls out, his voice immensely curious. He’s sat with his back to the flickering flames, his palms flat against the floor as he leans back on them. Peter tenses beside you, but you maintain an easy smile. Remus and Sirius are lounging in the armchairs nearby, their attention piqued by the exchange.
“All my deepest darkest secrets.” You tease, flashing James a grin. He furrows his brow and sits up, clearly riled up by your response.
“Y/n, as your best friend, I better know all these secrets.” James lips are pouted, his expression tinged with a hint of concern, as if he’s genuinely worried that you and Peter are sharing secrets that he doesn’t know.
James has always been fiercely protective of your friendship. Despite being close to the boys, your bond with James was stronger. There was nothing that the two of you didn’t confide in each other; he honestly did know all your secrets.
“You do.” You smile reassuringly, and James’s expression breaks into a satisfied grin.
The boys continue their soft conversation by the crackling fire, the warm glow casting flickering shadows across the room, while you and Peter sit in comfortable silence. Both of you are lost in thought as you relax in the cozy atmosphere.
After stifling a good five yawns, you glance at the time and decide it’s probably best to head to your room, the quiet of the common room signaling just how late it had gotten.
You inch closer to Peter, before finding the courage to lean over and envelop him in a friendly hug, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.
He’s momentarily taken aback, his body tenses at your touch, but soon he relaxes, reciprocating by wrapping you in his arms. It’s a gesture that feels somewhat out of character for you, but after he trusted you with his secret, it seems like the most natural thing to do, a silent affirmation of support for him.
“I think I’m going to go to bed.” You tell him softly, “But I promise we’ll talk more tomorrow.”
“I’d like that.” He smiles at you as you pull away. You grab your bag and make your way in the direction of the stairs.
“Goodnight boys!” You call out softly over your shoulder before disappearing up the stairs. Sirius watches you go, his gaze lingering on your figure, his thoughts full of you long after you’ve left the room.
Ever since you moved to hug Peter, his eyes have been on you, curiosity and jealousy settling in his stomach.
“Why the hell did you get a hug?” Sirius asks, his tone laced with bitterness as his gaze shifts to Peter, who appears taken aback by Sirius’ sudden question. Remus and James exchange amused glances, before they refocus their attention on Peter, waiting expectantly for an explanation to ease the tension.
“I don’t know, she just hugged me.” Peter squirms uncomfortably in his seat, his confidence quickly dwindling as he’s put on the spot.
Sirius nods slowly, his lips pursing in contemplation. His carefully measured tone betrays the longing and a hint of possessiveness that he struggles to conceal, “What were you guys talking about over there?”
Remus interjects with a teasing tone, “Careful, Pads. You sound jealous.” A playful glint dances in his eyes as he notices Sirius’ furrowed brows and the discontent on his face.
“He’s got the boyfriend role down.” James quips, and Sirius sends them both a glare.
“I’m not jealous,” Sirius repeats quite grumpily. “I just don’t understand why Peter got a hug, and we didn’t.”
James barks out a laugh while Remus shakes his head, a chuckle escaping him in sheer disbelief.
“You’re jealous because you have feelings for her.” James states matter-of-factly.
Sirius begins to shake his head in denial, but Remus promptly interjects, his voice firm and unwavering, “’ Haven’t gotten her out of my head since the day I met her.’ What the fuck was that then?” Remus repeats Sirius’ words from the other day, perfectly mimicking his tone.
James bursts into laughter, the sound hearty and infectious, while Peter offers a small smile, observing Sirius as he struggles to respond.
“Not to mention, you’ve been staring Peter down ever since Y/n touched him.” Remus remarks while Sirius gazes blankly at him, his expression unreadable as he nervously chews on his bottom lip.
“You really have.” Peter adds with a grimace.
“You like her, mate.” Remus concludes, his words carrying a sense of finality that lingers in the air.
Sirius sighs heavily.
The conversation weighs heavily on him as he sinks down in the armchair, his brow furrowed in deep thought. The boys’ words replay in his mind. He was jealous, and he did like you. He already knew all of this. But he had always been cautious around you, mindful of the unspoken boundaries because of your friendship with James. A nagging worry in the back of his mind that James would be against any relationship between the two of you. James was his greatest friend, and he worried he could lose him if he attempted to go for you. The idea of James being unfazed by a romantic relationship between you and Sirius threw him off balance. It vastly differed from the scenarios he had envisioned, where James would react with fierce anger upon learning of Sirius’ affection for you. The realization left Sirius feeling torn. Did that mean he could actually go for you?
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
As the air is warm and balmy, birdsong emanating from the trees while the leaves rustle in the gentle breeze. The sun casts everything in a golden haze, letting you know summer is near. The boys are certain of their decision: today is the perfect day to spend at the lake.
Laughter and chatter echo across the shimmering waters as the boys swim around the lake, reaching where you’re draped over a soft towel next to Lily. You have been trading gossip back and forth for the last couple of hours. It’s refreshing since usually you’re glued to the boys’ sides. You were constantly in the company of at least one of the four.
You feel a twinge of regret in your chest, realizing you haven’t made an effort to have a close friendship with the girls. And you really should have. It wasn’t a deliberate choice; James had always been your go-to person. Then, when you met the boys, you naturally formed close bonds with them, too. The thought of branching out and making more friends never really crossed your mind.
Though you value your friendships with the boys, you decide you desperately need to spend more time with the girls. The possibility of James and Lily getting together has you hopeful.
“You realize Sirius can’t take his eyes off you, right?” You choose to remain silent, only giving a shrug, fully aware that Sirius is merely pretending to be in love with you. To his credit, he’s played the part convincingly throughout the entire week. There have been moments when you’ve found yourself questioning the authenticity of his actions, wondering whether his affection is genuine or merely his acting skills.
For someone who hasn’t had much practice with relationships, he possessed an innate ability to treat you like you were the only girl in his world. Whether it was a reassuring hand on your lower back as you maneuvered through the crowded halls, a tender kiss planted on your forehead when you parted ways, or the subtle exchange of flirty smiles whenever your eyes met across the room.
Sirius’ laughter drifts over from the lake, reaching your ears, and a subconscious smile graces your lips. Lily must have seen your reaction, “Merlin, you really like him, don’t you?”
It was driving you to the brink of obsession. If this was the experience of being Sirius’ girl, you wanted it more than before.
Despite your efforts to contain it, a sigh slips from your lips, “Yeah, I really do.”
Confessing this feels uncomfortable. You’ve never talked to anyone about the depth of your feelings for Sirius, and now you’re doing so under the guise of a fake relationship. You had come close to telling James, but you really didn’t need to. He had an uncanny ability to read you like an open book. Guilt churns in your stomach once more as you think about lying to Lily. What will her reaction be when you reveal that you and Sirius were never actually together?
The silence lingers for a few moments before you gently break it, “What were you about to say at breakfast the other day? Before James interrupted?”
Lily’s expression shifts from confusion to excitement, her eyes lighting up, “Oh, in Charms! I finally wrangled it out of Sirius that he had feelings for you. But he insisted that nothing was ever going to happen because you didn’t like him back.”
It feels like you’ve been plunged into a tub of cold water. Your mind goes momentarily blank, a surge of disbelief flooding your senses as you struggle to comprehend Lily’s words. Your body freezes in place, grappling with what this could possibly mean. There’s no possible way you heard her correctly.
“What? When was this?” Your voice escapes breathless and startled, yet Lily appears oblivious to it.
“Just a couple of weeks ago! I’m so glad he finally told you how he felt.” Lily smiles sweetly before laying back on her towel. If she notices you’re in a state of shock, she doesn’t say anything.
You hear a whistle, and no surprise, your best friend throws himself between you and Lily, “Don’t you two look pretty!”
Lily gasps as James leans down, playfully pressing his lips against her cheek, his hair dripping water onto her. Though she protests, you both can tell she doesn’t truly mind it.
As James and Lily become wrapped up in their own world, you find yourself drifting back to the conversation from a moment ago. Your mind spins, still muddled by Lily’s words. Sirius had feelings for you. Why hadn’t he spoken up? Did he not want anything to come of it?
Your heart nearly stops when Sirius drops down and hovers over you, his hands propping him up on either side of your head. You barely register that he’s shirtless and above you just before icy water cascades from his hair onto your skin. A startled cry escapes you as the cold droplets trickle down your cheeks, tracing a chilling path along your neck and chest.
“Sirius Black!” You had intended to sound angry, but laughter slips past your lips, betraying your emotions. Sirius grins at your reaction, his eyes trailing down from your eyes to shamelessly check out the bikini top you have on.
The boys had been teasing him relentlessly after witnessing how he practically fell to his knees when you walked into the common room wearing a bikini top and tiny denim shorts. You were oblivious to his gaze, heading straight for Lily and conversing about who knows what.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you all day.
He feigns ignorance as you whine at him, responding with a sweet smile instead, “What?”
“Get off!” You squeal, though your tone lacks any real irritation. Deep down, you’re secretly enjoying having him so close, enveloping you in his presence.
“Whatever you want, sweet girl.” He mutters as he rolls off of you, repositioning himself so he’s sitting behind you. With a gentle tap on your shoulder, he prompts you to sit up, then guides you until your back hits his chest. Once you’re settled, he loosely wraps his arms around your shoulders before placing a kiss on your head.
Remus catches your eye as he and Peter make their way to their towels. Unlike Sirius and James, they hadn’t hurried over to you and Lily. Instead, they took their time, chatting lazily while the sun warmed their skin. Remus sends you a sly, suggestive glance, and you respond by narrowing your eyes at him playfully.
Sirius and Remus engage in their own conversation, their voices blending into the background as Peter gestures for you to follow him. Sirius protests lightly, his eyes following you as you pull away from him to walk down to the lake with Peter.
You’re gone for no more than twenty minutes, offering Peter advice on establishing a friendship with the girl he likes, perhaps making it easier for him to ask her out in the future.
Despite Remus’ attempts to draw him back into the conversation, Sirius remains preoccupied, his gaze fixed on you until you eventually return and settle onto the towel beside him, seeking the familiar comfort of his presence. Only then does Sirius relax, draping his arm around you protectively.
He despises the twinge of jealousy that creeps in every time Peter has you to himself.
“Mate, you’re fucked.” Remus chuckles, and you assume it’s due to something amusing said during their conversation. Sirius simply rolls his eyes and playfully extends his middle finger in Remus’ direction, a gesture of mock annoyance that elicits a smirk from both of them.
The rest of the afternoon is spent wrapped up in Sirius as you chat with your friends and bask in the sun.
You spend the remainder of the afternoon draped over Sirius, basking in the warmth of the sun as you chat with your friends. It’s been a while since you’ve felt so at ease.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
After lounging by the lake all afternoon, the thought of cleaning up for a party you had little interest in attending felt like an unnecessary chore. However, after an hour of James’ persistent pleading, you eventually gave in and agreed to go. You were confused about why he insisted on your presence, especially when he’d be busy spending the evening with Lily. You couldn’t help but think you could have been snug in bed with a good book instead.
“How long do you think it will take before they get together?” You turn to Remus, who is leaning against the wall next to you. He wasn’t thrilled about coming tonight, either. The full moon was approaching, and he could already feel the effects beginning to take hold.
You scan the bustling room, eager to catch a glimpse of James and determine Lily’s proximity. Impatience simmers within you as you wait for them to get together. Their relationship seems overdue, and you’re desperate for it to happen, bringing an end to the relationship you and Sirius are forced to maintain. Though being Sirius’ girlfriend has its perks, the artificiality of the situation weighs on your conscience.
After a lazy afternoon enveloped in Sirius’ arms, you had returned to your room feeling unsettled. The comfort of being held by Sirius felt genuine, yet it was all fake, and that realization deeply unsettles you. The longer this relationship goes on, the more you worry about your heart being left in pieces at the end.
“Probably any day now. Why? You aren’t having fun being Sirius’ girl?” Remus asks, casting a knowing smirk in your direction. You huff and give him a playful nudge, causing his drink to slosh around in his cup. He chuckles in response, amused by your reaction.
“It’s not that, and you know it.” You respond, frustration evident in your tone.
Remus turns towards you, a genuine smile on his face this time, “You guys are doing quite the job of looking infatuated with each other.”
You shoot him a warning look, sensing where the conversation is headed.
But Remus persists, his gaze steady, “You should consider telling him how you feel.”
You scoff. “Absolutely not.”
“Why not? What have you got to lose?”
You meet his gaze, incredulous, “Our friendship, for starters.”
Remus shakes his head, “Do you really think Sirius would end your friendship? I doubt you could get rid of him if you tried.”
You meet Remus’s gaze, your brow furrowed with uncertainty, “Okay, maybe he wouldn’t end our friendship. But things would definitely get awkward, and who knows where it could lead.”
Remus offers a small smile, “Or it could go well. You could end up together.”
You remain silent, the weight of Remus’s words sinking in as you contemplate the idea of confessing your feelings to Sirius. Your stomach churns with anxiety at the mere thought of opening up to him. The fear of rejection and the potential fallout from confessing weighs heavy on your chest.
But Lily had shared with you that Sirius had opened up about his feelings for you. Maybe there was a possibility that confessing your own feelings might not be as far-fetched as you had assumed. Maybe being with Sirius wasn’t entirely out of reach.
Remus observes the slight furrow in your brow as you chew on your bottom lip, a clear indication of your spiraling thoughts. The dim light of the common room highlights the unease on your face. “Do you want a drink?” He offers, his voice gentle and reassuring.
You pause, considering his offer, grateful for the distraction, “Yes, please.” You respond with a small smile, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly.
As Remus leaves to fetch you a drink, you’re left alone with your thoughts, the chatter and laughter of the crowded common room serving as a backdrop to your contemplation. Your eyes wander over the sea of bodies, each occupied with their own conversations and activities, creating a lively yet chaotic atmosphere.
“Y/n, hi!” You startle as Max Townsend stands beside you, his sudden presence catching you off guard. You recall being partners in Charms a couple of weeks ago, but beyond that, your interactions had been limited.
“Hey, Max.” You greet with a soft smile, noticing how his shoulders relax slightly at your acknowledgment. He settles against the wall, his posture casual yet attentive, as if genuinely interested in chatting with you.
“I know we haven’t talked much since Charms, but I’ve been meaning to catch up with you.” Max says, his voice earnest as he breaks the silence between you.
You’re surprised by his remark, “You have?” You ask, genuine curiosity coloring your tone.
“Yeah! I enjoyed spending time with you.” Max admits, his voice slightly shaky as he offers you a shy smile. You notice the faint blush coloring his cheeks, a sign of nervousness.
“I enjoyed spending time with you too! I don’t think I could have passed the last exam without your help.” You respond sincerely, returning his smile with warmth. His face lights up at your words, visibly relieved.
He regains some confidence and continues, “Actually, Y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade sometime?”
Your smile falters, and you feel a pang of guilt. You have the excuse of having a boyfriend, at least. It makes things a little easier for you. For a second, you debate if you should say yes, go on a date, and move past your feelings for Sirius. But then you think about Lily’s words and how he might possibly like you back. Not only that but you’re supposed to be in a relationship right now.
You can’t bring yourself to say yes; truth be told, you don’t really want to, anyway.
“That’s really sweet of you to ask. But I’m dating Sirius.” You reply though the words feel heavy on your tongue, wishing they were true.
Max looks taken aback, “Sirius Black?”
“Yes.” You confirm, feeling a wave of discomfort wash over you; turning someone down is always an awkward and uncomfortable experience.
Max shakes his head, looking confused, “I didn’t know Sirius-“
“You didn’t know what, Townsend?” Sirius looks hard at him, slipping his arm around your waist and handing you a drink. “Here, baby, Rem said you wanted a drink.”
You thank him quietly, settling into his side with ease. Glancing up at him, you notice Sirius isn’t looking at you; his gaze is fixed on Max. His jaw clenches tightly, and his usual friendly smile is absent. The message to Max is clear: back off, she’s mine.
Max looks uneasy, eyes darting from you to Sirius, “Uh, I didn’t know you and Y/n were together.”
“And why were you talking about that?”
“Uh,” Max looks at you briefly, his expression tinged with panic. He lets out a sigh, reminiscent of a child caught in the act and resigned to confessing. “I asked her out.”
Sirius’ entire body tenses, his tone laced with mock curiosity, “Did you?”
He feels sick at the thought of you going on a date with another guy. Images flash through his mind – Max holding your hand on a walk through Hogsmeade, flirting with you over dinner, and the possibility of him kissing you goodnight before you head back through the portrait at the end of the night.
A surge of intense emotion floods him, an overwhelming desire to lash out, to throw a punch and convey the unmistakable message that you are off-limits.
But then the reality hits him: you’re not off limits. You’re perfectly single, and maybe you actually wanted to go out with Max. The realization sinks in, gnawing at him from the inside, intensifying the ache in his chest.
“But look, man, I didn’t know she was your girl! Honest.”
“Max, it’s okay. Really.” You interject gently, offering him a reassuring smile. Max nods frantically, clearly relieved, before hurrying off in the opposite direction and disappearing into the crowd of Gryffindors.
“What the hell was that?” You turn to Sirius, but he refuses to meet your gaze. Instead, he drops his arm from your waist and leans back against the wall, taking a long sip from his drink, his expression unreadable.
“Playing the part of your boyfriend. You should go find James, he was looking for you.” His mutterings reach your ears, and your stomach clenches with irritation as hurt flashes over your features. He’s never shut down before you, and it hurts your feelings deeply.
You don’t bother saying anything; instead, you scoff and walk away. Sirius’s eyes follow you the second you leave, watching as you walk away with a heavy feeling settling in his stomach.
Maybe he did need to express his feelings to you. There might be a chance that you felt the same way. And if you didn’t, at least he would know and could attempt to move on from you.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I think you need to check on Sirius.” James murmurs into your ear as you stand in the common room, waiting for Lily to join you. You’re flanked by the boys, but Sirius is conspicuously absent.
You glance over at him, confused, “Why? Is he not coming down?”
“He bailed, said he isn’t feeling good.”
“He isn’t coming to Hogsmeade with us?” You all had meticulously planned your trip to Hogsmeade during the lake outing yesterday, discussing the shops you wanted to visit and the Butterbeer you couldn’t wait to taste.
“Oh,” You mutter, “I’ll check on him and catch up with you guys then.”
You still harbor concern for his well-being, a lingering sense of care that remains despite the the frustration you feel about last night. You ascend the stairs, faintly catching Peter’s inquiry about your destination and James’ response that you won’t be joining them anymore. You contemplate turning around, half-tempted to inquire with James about his statement, but decided against it, choosing not to waste your energy.
You’re so deeply immersed in your thoughts as you walk through the hall that you don’t even notice the sound at first.
The muffled noise filtering through the boys’dorm door catches your attention, causing you to pause in front of the door. You briefly entertain the idea that Sirius might be genuinely unwell, but skepticism lingers in your mind. The persistent groans don’t quite fit the pattern of someone who’s just sick.
You were on the verge of turning around, genuinely considering it, until you caught a muffled moan that distinctly sounded like your name.
You pause, questioning the authenticity of what you just heard, wondering if it was a figment of your imagination or if you truly heard your name. But then you hear it, “Fuck, Y/n. Feels so good.”
Your legs turn to jelly, the words coursing through your veins like an electric shock, leaving you feeling stunned and breathless.
Without a second thought or even a plan forming in your mind, you find yourself knocking on the door. Inside, you hear a muffled curse followed by shuffling before Sirius swings the door open nearly a minute later, clad only in pajama pants. His hair is tousled, his cheeks flushed, and he’s breathing heavily. The surprise on his face is evident as he takes in your unexpected presence.
“What were you just doing?” Your words spill out more confrontationally than you intended, catching Sirius off guard. The surprise flickers across his face, evident in how his eyebrows knit together and his eyes widen slightly.
“Uh, I-” He glances back into his room, searching for a believable excuse among his belongings. Flustered, he struggles to come up with a convincing lie.
“Sirius,” You press, and his eyes flicker back to you. He appears guilty, aware that you’ve caught on. “I just heard you.”You add, your tone that is firm but not accusatory.
“Merlin, Y/n. I’m sorry I-” He stammers, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach at the mere thought of you possibly feeling disgusted with him or worse, refusing to remain his friend because of what he’s just done.
“What were you thinking about?” You ask instead, taking a deliberate step closer to him. The room feels charged with tension, and you can sense Sirius’s unease. His breath hitches as your presence draws nearer, his eyes flickering with a mix of apprehension and anticipation.
He glances over your shoulder, his gaze flicking to the empty hallway outside before he answers, “You.”
“Me?” You take a tentative step closer, your voice barely a whisper compared to before, its tone huskier, laden with curiosity and perhaps a hint of intrigue. You fix him with a daring look, a glint of challenge in your eye, as if silently daring him to take action.
He remains silent, his gaze fixed on you for a fleeting moment before he takes action, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the dorm without a word.
As soon as the door shuts, he presses you against the door, his movements swift and urgent. You let out a gasp in surprise, feeling the sudden shift in atmosphere as Sirius’s intensity envelops you. His eyes, usually filled with mischief, now bore into yours with a mixture of seriousness and vulnerability.
“Y/n. Why did you knock on the door?”
You don’t answer at first, your eyes locked with his for a few heartbeats before you let out a sigh, “Because I heard you say my name, and now I know you want me the same way that I’ve always wanted you.”
Sirius doesn’t hesitate, his lips meeting yours with a sense of urgency that sends a shiver down your spine. The moment his touch connects with yours, you exhale softly, feeling the warmth of his lips against yours. With gentle pressure, you draw him closer, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while Sirius’ embrace envelops you, pulling you closer as if he never wants to let go.
He initiates with a tender kiss on your lips, then gently nibbles on your bottom lip, eliciting a gasp. Seizing the opportunity of your parted lips, he intensifies the kiss, pressing forcefully into your mouth. Sirius kisses you as if each moment is the first and last time, molding you into pliancy. You willingly surrender, allowing him to kiss you into a state of blissful oblivion.
As he withdraws, a soft whimper escapes your lips in protest. He casts a questioning glance your way as he lifts the hem of your shirt, and you respond with a nod of affirmation. Slowly, he peels it off of you and lets it drop at your feet. Shamelessly, he admires your breasts and how they sit so pretty in your black bra. For a moment, the thought of apologizing for the simple garment crosses your mind, but the way his gaze lingers on you halts any inclination to do so.
He leans down, pressing kisses and nipping at the exposed skin on your neck and trailing his way down to your chest. It steals your breath away, prompting you to weave your fingers through his hair as you tilt your head back, reveling in the sensation. He’s murmuring praises against your skin, ranting about how beautiful you are, how sweet your moans are, and how you drive him crazy. Your heart pounds within your chest, and for an instant, you fear its thunderous rhythm might betray you, considering how near he stands.
“Take it off.” In a hushed tone, you speak, prompting Sirius’s gaze to swiftly rise and lock with yours.
He encircles you with his arms, quickly undoing your bra, and you deftly push the straps down, allowing the garment to cascade down, unveiling your skin. Swiftly, you toss it into the growing pile that appears to be taking shape by the door.
Sirius gazes intently, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, and a subtle furrow forms between his eyebrows, “Fucking hell, y’have the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.”
Before you can utter a word, his mouth is on your breasts. Pressing the softest kisses onto your nipple before gently biting it, causing your breath to hitch. He bends down, mirroring the gesture with the other one.
His hands, possessively grip at your hips, act as anchors, momentarily keeping you in place. However, a growing restlessness takes hold, and you start to squirm, a subtle plea for more of his attention. Silently comprehending your unspoken desire, he wordlessly responds. A gentle tug on your hand is all the communication needed, and without a moment’s hesitation, you obediently follow his lead.
Guiding you, he directs you to settle onto his bed, a silent request you readily heed. Your legs dangle over the edge of the bed as you rely on your elbows to bear all your weight.
Sirius kneels in front of you, easily slipping off both of your shoes and tossing them to the side. He reaches up, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your skirt before tugging it down and off of your legs. You’re left in a pair of gray panties that easily show how soaked you are for him.
He pushes on your knees until your legs are completely spread for him, and he can get a clear view of your soaked underwear. A hushed curse escapes his lips, the words slipping out quietly as his gaze lingers on you.
“You’re fucking stunning. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. To deserve you.” You bask in his words, your body thrumming with warmth and delight as his sweet sentiments wash over you.
He glances up at you, and he nearly loses it right then and there. You’re watching him through hooded eyes, your pupils dilated wide, a silent reflection of your anticipation and desire. He doubts he could ever erase the image of the way you’re gazing at him, etching it into his memory with the fervent wish to witness it for the rest of his days.
He caresses his hands along your thighs, fingers gently squeezing and kneading with each pass. Occasionally, he leans down, planting tender kisses on your sensitive skin, each one a whispered promise of affection. The closer he gets to your core, the more you squirm and let out soft whimpers.
“Can I take your panties off?” He asks, glancing up at you from between your thighs. The pad of his thumb brushes against your clit, and you jolt in surprise.
A gasp escapes your lips as you’re overtaken by the sensation, yet swiftly, you find yourself nodding frantically in response, “Please.”
Overrun with desperation, Sirius pulls at them with such fervor that they nearly tear as he tugs them off. You can’t help but giggle at his fervor, amused by his frantic actions and the unmistakable look of pure desire written across his face. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was drooling, staring the sight of your glistening pussy.
“I want to be inside of you.” He declares, standing up from the floor, leaning over you to firmly grasp your jaw before capturing your lips in a heady, intoxicating kiss. The moan that escapes you sounds so foreign, so unlike yourself, that it catches you by surprise, leaving you momentarily taken aback. You don’t bother vying for dominance, allowing him to take control of the kiss. He withdraws from you leaving your chest heaving and breaths coming in ragged gasps.
“Take your pants off.” You demand, reaching desperately for the band of his pajamas to shove them off. Sirius beats you to the task, swiftly shoving them off himself in a display of impatience.
“Sirius.” Drool pools in your mouth at the sight of him. Long, thick, and pretty. Your lips part slightly, and you look up at Sirius in surprise, caught off guard by him. For a fleeting moment, you sit there, eyes locked, contemplating whether you’ll be able to take him or not. He’s bigger than anyone you have ever been with before.
Sirius doesn’t let you stare for too long before his fingers are sliding through your soaked folds and brushing over your clit. Whimpers and moans tumble past your lips as Sirius rubs firm circles over you to get you adjusted before dipping down and pressing two fingers into you. A cry escapes you at the intrusion, and your hand instinctively reaches down to grip his bicep firmly.
Sirius startles you by leaning down and pressing the softest kiss to your clit, before licking you the bundle of nerves softly. Your body tenses with pleasure, hands gripping the sheets beneath you.
“I’ve always wanted to taste you.” He confesses a surge of heat courses through your body, igniting every nerve ending as you absorb his words. He doesn’t waste another second before leaning down and gently sucking on your clit.
“Please don’t stop.” You plead softly, and Sirius complies, continuing with unwavering determination. He nips and sucks, licking through your folds and holding your thighs open for him. His fingers continue to slide in and out of you; the sounds you’re making are obscene.
You’re struck by the thojught that this doesn’t compare to any other times that you’ve been eaten out. But maybe it’s not just his technique that feels good; it might be the fact that its Sirius who’s between your legs.
Your thighs tremble, and a euphoric sensation begins to build up in your stomach, making it feel like you are floating on a delightful high.
“Sirius, I need you.” You gasp sharply, your fingers instinctively tugging on his hair, signaling for him to ease up. You wanted to come together for your first time, as cheesy as it may have been.
As he rises to his feet, your eyes meet, and contagious, goofy smiles spread across both of your faces. In this shared moment, a mutual understanding passes between you—acknowledging the absurdity of the situation yet reveling in the fact that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
You watch as he wraps his hand around himself, dragging his hand up and down a few times. He whispers for you to scoot back until your head rests against the pillow, and with a gentle nod, you comply. He follows suit, settling on his haunches before you, creating a comforting, intimate space between you both.
“Y’ready?” He asks in a hushed tone, leaning in to hover over you, and at that moment, a rush of memories floods your mind, reminiscent of yesterday by the lake. You’re convinced you must look rather pathetic with the speed of your nod, but Sirius only responds with a sweet smile.
With a grip on his cock, he slides the tip through your slick, both of you sucking in a breath at the sensation. He gently pushes at your entrance. Sirius steals a glance up at you, silently seeking reassurance, and you respond with a simple nod and a warm smile, letting him know that everything is perfect. Sirius catches you off guard as he leans down, tenderly pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips, a gesture filled with unexpected sweetness.
His gaze shifts, watching as he pushes his cock inside of you, letting out a string of curses as your pussy grips him tight, pulling him deeper inside.
“Fuck,” Gritting his teeth, he squeezes his eyes shut, breathing deeply through his nose, determined to regain control and prevent himself from losing composure. He’s sitting fully inside you, and he has to take a breather because you feel better than he could have ever imagined. The last thing he wants is for this to end as soon as it begins.
His voice sounds utterly shattered, “You’re so wet, fuck.”
You entwine your fingers in his hair, feeling the soft strands between your fingertips as you pull him closer, urging him to meet your lips with his own. The anticipation builds as his warm breath mingles with yours, creating an intimate connection before the gentle press of his lips against yours. Parting your lips, you deepen the kiss, and Sirius eagerly reciprocated.
“Sirius. Fuck me, please.” You exhale softly against his lips, and Sirius responds with a low, guttural groan of longing and desire.
He doesn’t waste any time before dragging his cock along the sensitive walls of your pussy, before thrusting back into you, “God, your pussy feels incredible.” The cry that escapes you resonates loudly in the room, and you’re immensely grateful that everyone is out at Hogsmeade. The absence of others allows you the freedom to be as uninhibited as you are, knowing that the full dorms would never afford you the same level of privacy and volume.
“Feels so good.” You gasp, head rolling to the side, your cheek resting against the pillows. Sirius’ hands rest against the back of your thighs, holding your legs against your chest, giving a clear view of the way his cock is so seamlessly slipping inside of you.
He watches you, transfixed on the way your brows pinch together in pleasure, lips parting to let moans slip past. It’s as if a dam has burst within Sirius, an unstoppable torrent of words and emotions pouring forth as he finds himself unable to contain everything he’s been holding back.
“Fuck, you sound s’pretty, sweet girl,” The groan that leaves his lips is downright sinful. “Thought about this pretty pussy all day. Pretended to be sick just to get off to the thought of you.”
“Sirius.” You whine, reaching out to thread your fingers through his hair and pull him down to you. You’re soaked and aching, desperate for Sirius to fuck you faster. However, much to your disappointment, he remains insistent on maintaining a slow, teasing pace.
“Pictured tugging that fucking bikini top down. Watching your tits bounce while I fuck you. Fuck, cumming all over them.” The whine that escapes you feels pathetic, and under different circumstances, you would’ve been embarrassed by it. However, given the situation you’re in, embarrassment takes a backseat.
“I know, baby. I know.” He complies, adjusting his position so that his right arm supports him above you while his left hand gently traces your skin. Brushing over your nipples, trailing up and over your tits, before placing his hand loosely around the base of your throat.
“You’re fucking perfect,” He grunts, admiring how ruined you look for him. Your mascara smudged beneath your eyes from tears, and your lips swollen from his earlier kisses. He loved seeing you like this. Being the one to ruin you, to smudge your makeup and bring you to tears. “Taking my cock s’well.”
You’re incoherent, begging for Sirius to go harder, to fuck you faster. Hands pawing at his ass, desperately trying to bring him closer.
His hand squeezes your throat gently, “Tell me you want me to fuck you harder. C’mon love, wanna hear you beg for it.”
A smug grin tugs on Sirius’ lips as he watches you struggling to form words. You’re getting close if the way you’re squeezing him so tight and rolling your hips is any indicator.
But then a desperate, needy whine with the words he so badly wants to hear slips past your lips. Babbling about needing his cock and wanting him to ruin you. The second he hears your pleas, he thrusts into you harder, setting a brutal new pace that has you crying for him.
“I’ll give you anything you ask for, m’love.” He speaks so sincerely that you feel a surge of emotions welling up inside, an overwhelming urge threatening to bring tears to your eyes.
Overcome with your emotions, you reach for Sirius’ hand and interlace them together before Sirius presses your clasped hands into the sheets. His headboard thumps against the wall rhythmically.
“Need you to fill me up. Please.” You plead desperately, and Sirius curses, his voice rough and strained.
“Shit, that’s my girl. Want me to fill you with my cum?” It’s the praise that pushes you over the edge. Your back arches, pressing your breasts into Sirius’ chest and your legs tremble.
“Doing so good f’me.” He’s close behind you. Your tight, wet walls clenching around him is what does it for him.
“Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. Fuck.” Sirius moans, burying his head in the crook of your neck as his hips stutter and you cry out at the feeling of his warm cum filling you up. You clench his hand tightly, your nails likely leaving imprints on his skin. A sob escapes your lips, and your fingers weave through his hair, a desperate attempt to draw him closer.
You both remain entwined, lost in each other’s embrace as you gradually come down from the euphoric highs. The room resonates with the sound of your intertwined breaths, each one heavy and labored. Your body feels utterly slack, every muscle loosened, and you’re so relaxed that you could easily doze off at any moment.
Sirius presses a couple of tender kisses against your neck, eliciting a satisfied hum from you. When he withdraws from you, a wince escapes you as you feel the separation, and Sirius’ eyes dart up to you in concern.
“Y’okay, sweet girl?”
“I’m okay, just sore.” You grace him with a sweet smile, and Sirius leans in, gently pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
“Gonna get a towel, one second.” He assures you, rising from the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. You listen to the faucet running and the faint sounds of the cupboard opening and closing. Lying back, you gaze up at the ceiling, absently nibbling on your thumbnail until a smile breaks across your face at the thought of what just happened.
“Here, love.” Sirius says, sitting on the edge of the bed holding a washcloth in his hand. He’s got a fresh pair of pajamapants on, you didn’t even notice him grab clothes from his trunk, too lost in your thoughts.
Sirius gently grips your ankle, encouraging you to spread your legs. His breath hitches at the sight of his cum dripping out of you and onto his sheets, desperately hoping to see this sight again. He murmurs a curse under his breath, his touch gentle as he delicately uses the warm washcloth to clean between your thighs.
“There.” He whispers softly before aiding you to sit up. As you glance over, you notice the t-shirt and pajama pants laid out beside him, meant for you. Your heart swells with warmth as he assists you in slipping it over your head. With a grateful smile, you slide into the pajama pants. Meanwhile, Sirius utters evanesco to fix the sheets up, before joining you in bed.
“C’mere.” He beckons to you, sinking into the pillows, and you nestle against him, finding solace as you rest your head on his chest.
In the silence, you both relish the comfort of each other’s embrace, enveloped in a cocoon of intimacy. Lost in contemplation, your mind wanders, grappling with what just happened and what that meant for the both of you.
“That wasn’t just a one-time thing, was it?” You inquire, the hopefulness evident in your tone.
“No,” Sirius responds, tilting your chin so you can meet his gaze. “I want you to be mine, for real this time.”
The fluttering butterflies that dance through your stomach are overwhelming as you absorb his words. A lovesick grin spreads across your lips, unable to contain the rush of emotions coursing through you, “Then I’m all yours.”
You settle back into Sirius, and his arms hold you against him. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest beneath your head lull you into a serene state, the sound of his steady heartbeat serving as a soothing lullaby that guides you into a peaceful sleep.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I’m sorry, so you asked us to fake it not for Lily, but for Sirius and I to get together?” You gaze at James, confused, knitting your brows, while he sits opposite you at the table. Remus and Sirius are absorbed in their own conversation, and Peter is having breakfast with the girl he harbors a crush on. Despite their current status as friends, Peter seems overjoyed nonetheless.
James grins, casting you a smug look. “I mean, Lily genuinely thought you and I were a thing. At first, it really was because Lily thought we were together, but then I realized that this was the perfect way to get you and Sirius together.”
“James! So you lied to us?” You huff in disbelief.
James shrugs nonchalantly, his demeanor radiating an air of casual indifference, “You already knew I lied to Lily; what’s the difference?”
You sigh softly, “That’s true, but what about you and Lily? Are you two getting together?”
James smiles, “We’ll get there eventually. This was more about you and Sirius. And before you start, yes, I’ll tell her the truth.” He sends you a pointed look, and you chuckle, already preparing to remind him to come clean to Lily.
“You’re certifiably insane.” You tease, exhaling a laugh.
“Well, it worked, didn’t it? You got the guy.” James watches with delight as a lovesick smile effortlessly graces your face before you steal a glance at Sirius.
“Oh, hey. Pick up your clothes next time you’re napping with Sirius,” He remarks casually, but the emphasis on the word napping lets you know that he’s fully aware there was more happening than just sleep. “My shoe got tangled in your bra.”
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luveline · 6 months ago
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Jade can I please get a chatty af yapper sunshine girlfriend with Sirius?? Like May be someone tells her she talks a lot so she's super quiet around him cuz she's worried he'll get annoyed and break up with her but poor Sirius he misses his chatty girl and just angst with fluff
thank you for requesting! fem, 1.4k
James Potter means well. Honestly, you don’t think he has a mean bone in his body, so you try not to take it to heart. 
Unfortunately, your attempts to do so don’t work. They really, unquestionably don’t. By the time you’re outside of Sirius’ flat that afternoon, James’ small comment is all you can think of. 
“You’re so chatty I’m surprised you don’t run out of breath,” he’d said. Not without love. You’d bumped into him in Sainsbury’s and ended up talking for ages about one thing or another, you know him well, you’d even say you were friends, though he’s of course Sirius’ friend rather than your own. “But I’m the same. God, Sirius used to hate how much I talked, he’d be sick of me. I think I numbed him to it over the years.” 
You can’t imagine it. Sirius and James are best friends. With Remus, they’re the most in love threesome of friends you’ve ever met, and it’s nice; it makes you very proud to have a boyfriend who cares for others as deeply as Sirius cares for them. It’s like a constant demonstration of how he’s a good man. 
But you’d never stopped to consider that they weren’t always so seamless, and you’ve regrettably never considered that your constant talking is something that could put him off. 
You talk to Sirius about everything. There isn’t a word to describe the excitement of having someone waiting to listen to you every single night. You could tell him every detail of a day down to what colour socks you wore and you know he’ll sit there listening with his hand on the small of your back, or his fingers twined between yours. You’ve never felt so loved as to be able to just talk about everything and have him talk back. 
But… what if, this whole time, he’s been wishing for a little bit of quiet? 
What if eventually, the talking becomes too much? 
He must be with you for a reason. You aren’t holding the poor guy hostage, he acts like he’s mad for you ninety percent of the time (while the other ten percent is spent sleeping on your shoulder). 
Like now —you knock his door and you can hear him scrambling up from the sofa, the sound of a book dislodged or a remote hitting the rug, you’re not sure. The door yanks open and Sirius smiles at you, pulling you in through the gap with a familiar hand on your hip. 
“Hey,” Sirius says, tucking you against his side, “hey, did you get lovelier over the weekend?” He shoves the door closed and gives you a hug with one arm, pausing in the hall. “Sorry I couldn’t see you. I don’t think we should miss another weekend.” 
You have a lot to tell him. It’s been ages since you spent nearly three days apart, but James’ conversation stays at the front of your mind. 
You decide to be less overwhelming, but not less loving, curling your arm behind his head to pull his cheek down for a kiss. “I don’t think so, either.” 
Sirius tilts his head away from you in an invitation for more kissing. 
You’re at home in his flat. You take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. You change into a pair of jogging bottoms with loose legs and let him hoist you onto his bed for a few stolen kisses, though he isn’t propositioning you, and you end up laying across his bedspread with one of your legs in his lap as he tells you about his days without you, his thumb sliding with pressure down your calf. 
“Mostly I wished I’d asked you to come over anyways, even if it was just to sleep together at the end of the day. Maybe next time we can do that?” he asks. 
“Of course we can.” You smile at him indulgently. “I’d come over for twenty minutes if it was all I could get.” 
“Or I can come to you,” he says, “even if it’s just twenty minutes.” 
He smiles, a beaming thing, and leans down slowly for a soft kiss. 
“So,” he asks, his breath on your lips, “how was your weekend? Lonely?” 
“So lonely,” you tease lightly, eyes fluttering closed as he continues his massaging of your leg. “But it was okay. I missed you, really, and didn’t do much else.”
“No?” he asks. 
Your voice takes on a shine as he squeezes your knee, “Missed your hands.”  
“I missed your everything.” He grabs for your forearms and pulls you into a sitting position. “But everything was okay?” he asks more seriously. 
“Everything was fine.” 
He raises his eyebrows, but eventually lets them relax. “Well, okay. Good, sweetheart, I’m glad it was okay.” 
He persuades you into the kitchen to sit with him as he makes dinner, refusing to let you help, and yet insisting you be there in the same room, as though you’d like to be anywhere else. Sirius makes your favourite of his usual rotation, offering you spoonfuls for tasting, gaps of silence stretching as he struggles to find new conversation. You start answering his questions but remember time and time again that Sirius could become totally sick of you. He might already be. 
Sirius puts the food on a low heat and washes his hands. He wipes them dry, but when he takes your face, dampness lines the inside of his fingers. 
“I’d like for you to tell me what’s wrong,” he says gently, stroking at the line of your startled frown, “before it gets worse. Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Nothing’s wrong.” 
“Please don’t, lovely. If I’ve done something wrong, please tell me. I want us to last forever, and we can’t do that if you won’t tell me when I upset you.” 
“It wasn’t you,” you say instinctively, then regret it. 
“So someone has?” he asks, still so gentle as his hands coast down your neck like he’s sculpting you, coming to rest on the slopes leading to your shoulders. “You can tell me anything. You don’t have to keep it to yourself… please.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“Sweetheart.” He frowns deeply. Couldn’t look more upset. “Of course I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” 
You chew it over, not wanting or willing to cause ructions between Sirius and his oldest friend. “Well, I saw James today at the shop, and… we were talking about you…” 
He waits. “And?” 
“And he told me you– you don’t like talking. That you didn’t like talking, that James used to make you sick of it. So I know I talk too much and you’ve never made me feel like I shouldn’t, but I guess I got into my head thinking you’d get sick of me, too.” 
“When we were younger I didn’t like much of anything.” He curls an arm behind your neck to hold you in place, but it’s not a dominant sort of movement, only protective as your noses inch together. “Did you ever read that poem by Bukwoski? Let It Enfold You?” 
“What?” 
“I’m not very good at explaining myself. I thought if you knew the poem, you’d–” He laughs near your cheek. “I hated everything. It wasn’t James’ fault. He did make me sick of it sometimes, but I just wanted to hide from everything.” He breathes out slowly. “I’ve never wanted to hide from you. I can’t get sick of you. Do you get that? I can’t get sick of you. Listening to you is the best part of my day, you’re my personal chatterbox.” 
“Chatterbox,” you repeat teasingly. 
“You could talk for Wales,” he says. “And I love it, I don’t want you to stop, because I’ll never be sick of it.”
“I don’t want it to be some secret resentment.”
“I don’t resent you for anything. I knew exactly who you were when we met and I love it.” He takes your face again. “I love it,” he repeats. 
You steal a little kiss against the corner of his lips. “What was the poem?” you ask. 
“I’ll find my book, and you can read it to me. What do you think?” He takes a slow kiss as you had in the same place, words like honey. “I miss your voice.” 
He’s basically pleading. It’s not like Sirius to plead, but you pull it out of him. 
“Can I have my dinner first?” 
“The one I made while you deprived me?” he asks. “Yes, if you must.” 
He takes another kiss, but you’re happy to give it. 
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inkdrinkerworld · 3 months ago
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Sirius Black x touch starved!reader hehe, I hope you guys enjoy <3
Sirius knows you want something by the way you keep looking over at him and then turning your face back towards your journal.
You’ve been scrapbooking in it for a bit, but it seems like the glue and photos aren’t keeping your attention well enough anymore.
Sirius has to be tactile though, if he comes off too strong he’ll spook you and you’ll probably never be able to look him in the eye again.
He stands, petting your head as he passes. The way you lean back into his touch is unmissable.
Sirius smiles. He goes to the kitchen, brews a cup of chamomile tea and comes back, trying his very best not to look too smug at the way your body tilts you into his direction.
“Dolly, can you come up here? I brewed some tea.”
You don’t scramble up to his lap, you’ve too much self restraint for it - Sirius hopes soon the self restraint will wash away.
Still, you climb near Sirius and take the cup from him with a pleased smile.
“Thank you,” you murmur into your second sip, gratitude filling your bones.
“Anything for you,” Sirius kisses your forehead and uses your relaxed state with the tea to scoot a little bit closer to you; your knees knocking his thighs. “Can we have a lie in?”
Your eyes brighten and Sirius smiles. Ever shy to voice your needs but Sirius never really has to guess what you need anyway.
“Please.” There’s a longing in your tone. Sirius can fix it.
“And I can brush your hair for you, or twirl it if that’s better. That ponytail you had early seemed like it did a number, poppet.”
You’re sure if he were to touch your collarbone he’d feel how flushed you are.
“It was pretty bad.” You mumble into your tea and Sirius claps his hands together with a big smile.
“That settles it then doesn’t it? I’ll oil your hair and give you a proper massage while we watch something we definitely won’t finish tonight.”
You smile, tipping your head up under Sirius’ attention.
“Can I have a kiss before you go?”
Sirius beams, lips brushing yours. “You can have whatever you’d like from me, sweet thing. Whatever you’d like.”
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