#does this section fuck me up

[leslutdepointedulac]

Okay. I think enough time has passed. I'm ready to confront this.

I finished re-reading IWTV a few days ago now, and this paragraph fucked me up then, and continues to fuck me up now 🙃

Armand obviously knew what was going to happen. He knew that the theatre vampires were going to be coming for Claudia that very same night. He essentially warns Louis about what's to come.

"Louis, come with me tonight," he whispered suddenly, with an urgent inflection.

Armand is desperate to get Louis to go with him there and then, so that he doesn't get caught up in the theatre vampire's 'business', so to speak. It's got nothing to do with Louis, he doesn't need to be punished, as far as Armand's concerned.

When Louis rejects this, and says he can't go with him tonight, there's not really anything Armand can do, but to just accept that that's how it's going to be. He doesn't want Louis getting caught up in the situation, but he can't say anything more, unless he gives himself and his involvement away.

I watched him turn away and look at the dark night sky. He appeared to sigh, but I didn't hear it.

For only a moment I hesitated, mocked by the pounding of my heart.

It's as if, deep, deep down, Louis knows there's something wrong. He knows something's coming, and that whatever it is, it can't be any good. And I think he knows Armand has something to do with it.

But Louis' blinded by his love for Armand, and Armand's love for him. He's blinded by the possibilities Armand could give him, and any further knowledge he may have to share.

Louis doesn't want to face the truth. He's had one not so great experience in love before, and he's not willing to let that happen again, even if that just means being in denial about it. He so desperately wants to believe Armand has his best interests at heart, and that there's no possible chance that he could ever have any malicious intentions, let alone follow through with them.

He's clinging onto hope.

But ultimately, that delusional hope ends with Claudia dead, when Louis should've just listened to her warnings.

Of course, Louis isn't entirely responsible. Armand already had Louis, he didn't need to worry about Claudia anymore. Louis literally even says so himself. He tells Armand he already has him. And I know that's not the only reason for Claudia's death, there's so much more to it than that, but it was apart of it.

I think either way, Claudia was probably going to end up dead, but more could've been done to prevent it. But the blatently obvious warning signs were ignored, along with Armand's desperate need to have Louis.

[funkbun]

[quietwingsinthesky]

of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:

rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)

i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.

donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.

[astranauticus]

stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir

(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)

But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?

so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me

in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone

and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age

but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind

and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind

(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)

"I just see this place as my home"

so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3

[flugame-mp3]

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

[volivolition]

prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao

[spinnysocks]

kiburi x ushari but specifically doomed kiburi x ushari. more than anyone else in the army they believe with full sincerity that scar's plan HAS to work because they can't succeed without him

[lesbiangiratina]

Im honestly not too invested in testament and johnny as a ship beyond their canon dynamic im simply not the shippiest guy on earth but i get so pissed off when people dont understand Why theyre shipped. Its a little bit funny. Cuz now you just dont know shit about testament. And so i hate. You

[technicolorxsn]

love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want

[egg2k16]

Never trust that women's pajamas will be 100% cotton. They will never have cotton in them. Only buy from the men's section. The men have 100% forever

[emdotcom]

*remembers what they did to Vanny* 500 FUCKING PIPEBOMB ATTACK.

[orcelito]

Sasuke is Out! Sasuke is Doing things! What will Sasuke do?! I have no idea!!! I've never gotten this far in the story before, so I have no idea how things are going from here!!!! But Sasuke is Loose!!!!!!

Quoting this post to myself as I see Sasuke walking around and doing things. I haven't seen this guy do anything in like a hundred episodes. It's so exciting

[prismatic-starstuff]

y'all may think of me just as someone who simps over messmer but let me assure you i Am currently sitting here with tears in my eyes after listening to his boss OST

[kamuro-junrenka]

This is still the most out of character shit thats ever happened in the history of yakuza games

[libraryleopard]

Adult graphic memoir/social history

Weaves together the author's personal history of coming-of-age as a lesbian and finding her community with a broader overview of British LGBTQ+ history from the 1950s to the present day

Funny, informative, and dense with information on British LGBTQ+ history and activism

[azure-clockwork]

I love the genre of (usually male) engineers who know they’re smart and think that makes them magically experts on everything. Homeskillet, you’re a mechanical engineer and programmer who isn’t even really good at either, and you’re attempting to tell me (the team’s electronics gal) and our EE about quadrature encoders. You’re just wrong but you won’t let me get a word in edgewise. I have been staring at our wiring diagram til my eyes bleed and I have done six other projects with similar motors. Shut the actual fuck up.