#i will say. i do get why ppl say the book is pretentious and frustrating

[technicolorxsn]

love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want

[leonisdumbasallhell]

12, 15, 30, & 39!

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules Okay so most of these have to do with my health, but that affects my ability to write, so aksdkashd, 1. no more covid brain fog. I had covid earlier this year and it fucked me UP, i want to feel like my brain works again, 2. No more chronic fatigue, I want to be able to do what I want without getting exhausted by existing, 3. I wish I never made a typo again. Dyslexia makes editing my own work harder and I sometimes don't catch them. I know everyone makes typos, but they make me feel so embarrassed when I catch them later >~<

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends? I do write in margins! I do a lot of active reading since I study writing and story structure, and i find it's helpful to note where and why something stands out to me while writing. it helps me think through the decisions the author made as well as dissect their writing style. I also tab the hell out of things, some of my fav books are just. Covered in tabs and notes. I don't dog ear, and I don't take baths so no reading in the bath for me lmao, but I don't judge ppl who do them? It's your book, engage with it how you wish!

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up? I already answered this, but also I was talking to you about what genre's i write lmao, and since I do write a lot of dreamscape horror, dreams and nightmares v much come into play. I've got a whole novella I want to write eventually based on one of my more vivid and strange nightmares. >:)

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up? I don't think I've ever felt like I wanted to give up tbh? Idk, It's just never occurred to me that stopping would be an option. I get frustrated or burnt out, just like everyone, but even then, I've never wanted to give up. Idk, it just feels like something I need to do. There's a Mitski quote where she says something along the lines of 'from the first time I wrote music, I knew I was doomed' and I think that's how I feel about writing. I hope this doesn't sound pretentious lmao, but I just feel like writing is what I'm supposed to do, whether that be fanfiction, original fiction, poetry, or something else, it's what I'm meant for. :)

[leahclearwaterdefensesquad]

i hope you don’t mind me adding to the jacob bella conversation because i totally agree! i grew up being team edward because i’m dramatic and loved vampires but i liked jacob as a character too. back then i always felt like bella was too obsessed with edward and jacob deserved better. but now that i’ve revisited the books i totally understand why people ship them. the way bella loves jacob is a lot more believable than her constant inner monologue about how hot edward is. she falls in love with jacob as a person and edward is kind of like an entity to her. she has a special thing with jake for sure. a lot of her actions are just messed up though. and i know it’s because smeyer treats jacob like trash and therefore bella does too. so for this reason and because i (unfortunately) still like edward i consider myself team edward still. but i also understand why people think jake and bella are meant to be and stuff because tbh in the books they make a lot more sense? jacob knows her better and bella is more herself with him even at the end of the series? smeyer is just kind of an idiot for making her secondary couple sweeter than her main couple…i can appreciate a good toxic vampire romance and like them for nostalgia but edward and bella kind of get more depressing the closer you look at them. if they became better versions of themselves they prob wouldn’t have a relationship 😂 but if jacob and bella did the same they could be really happy and good for each other…smeyer is dumb lol

Yes, exactly! Especially the part, "she falls in love with Jacob as a person and Edward is kind of an entity to her". One of my problems with Bella x Edward is how he talks down to her sometimes, which would drive me fucking crazy if I was in her shoes. I spent a lot of my childhood and my teen years getting talked down to by peers and adults alike, and it's such a frustrating feeling to keep getting the message that nothing you say is worth taking seriously or is smart enough. But she acts like she doesn't mind it and she takes his "Bella, please"s into consideration most of the time. This is due to her lack of self-confidence as well as her utter adoration and - you said it - idealization of Edward as this god-like figure. That whole rose-tinted glasses of love thing.

Tbh, I poke fun, but I do get why there are ppl who do ship Bella x Edward, even if it's ultimately not my cup of tea. I mean, I also like to edit out the parts of Bella and Jacob's relationship that I don't like (so basically Eclipse), so obviously I expect the same of Bella x Edward shippers. Edward never once makes a ball-and-chain joke, genuinely adores her, and murders rapists. He's a bit too posh and pretentious for me to get over, but I kinda get it.

jacob knows her better and bella is more herself with him even at the end of the series? smeyer is just kind of an idiot for making her secondary couple sweeter than her main couple…i can appreciate a good toxic vampire romance and like them for nostalgia but edward and bella kind of get more depressing the closer you look at them. if they became better versions of themselves they prob wouldn’t have a relationship 😂 but if jacob and bella did the same they could be really happy and good for each other

Basically everything said here. Edward and Bella kind of lock each other into this never-ending cycle of never growing past their toxic traits - especially Bella. Edward, as a meyerpire, doesn't have that option but Bella could've stayed human. She could have grown up, could've gone to therapy, could've gained some perspective, but of course that didn't happen. 

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Royal Assassin

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Not as stark a difference as with Assassin’s Apprentice, but definitely still there. Apart from all the obvious stuff, like feeling much more attached to the characters already and picking up more details, I think the biggest change was a complete lack of patience for the teen romance drama lol. There was a decent period where I was feeling quite frustrated with it. Not that I loved it the first time round, but back then I had a very different view of how it fit into the story. I saw it as teaching Fitz a depressing lesson of what it really means to be a royal bastard and a king’s man. Fitz’s literal need (for all he knows he would have been killed if not for his deal with Shrewd) and sense of duty to put his loyalty to his king and country first creates a relationship that is toxic, turbulent and built on lies. And teenage horniness masquerading as love. I saw all that the first time and thought it was just something he had to go through. Now I know it’s something he never really goes through but rather grips onto, romanticises and ultimately goes back to. I know the point of that is meant to be that he finally gets to have something for himself, but why it had to be Molly specifically??? I have very few qualms with Robin’s writing choices overall, but why she chose to write their relationship this way if they really are meant to be is beyond me, especially when so many of her other romances are written so well - it feels like it can’t possibly be unintentional. For most of this book they’re either fighting or fucking and honey! That ain’t love! Hell, Fitz all but sees her as just another demand on his time as the book goes on. But he can’t let her go because she’s the one thing he can point to that makes him feel normal. Not happy, not cherished, not safe. Normal. She’s simply a refuge from his real life. He literally says to Chade “I need her.” I find that so telling, man. It’s not really about her, which is a shame because Molly is great. They’re just really not good for each other.

So yeah. It’s just kind of trying to read all the Fitz/Molly stuff when you know and don’t like what it ultimately culminates in. At the same time… Bee… So I will always be conflicted lol. I just can’t separate the events of Royal Assassin from the furious disappointment I felt when I finished Fool’s Fate. Perhaps I’ll have a new Fool’s Fate experience this time that will make the next re-read a bit easier in regards to Fitz and Molly? But I won’t bet on it lol.

Anyway. It’s not as if I haven’t already said just about everything there possibly is to say about Fitz and Molly yet I also feel like I could go on about it forever. Luckily this is kind of as bad as it gets in terms of how much “screen time” they actually get (apart from Fool’s Assassin maybe? But they don’t bother me too much in that) so yay! I made it! And hopefully it’ll be a good few books before y’all have to endure my ranting about it again :)) Also hopefully this doesn’t give the impression that this read was more bad than good? It was mostly just a particular angsty chunk before they properly get together that was a bit of a slog to get through, but overall I really loved reading this book again and got a lot out of it.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

That Molly punches Fitz in the face hard enough that he bleeds and that Fitz fully intended to punch the Fool for asking if Molly was preggo before seeing he had already been beaten. I pretend I do not see it.

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

Omfg I was just about to say “huh we didn’t really get any major character intros in this book” bitch Nighteyes???? But in my defence I just. Cannot process the fact that Nighteyes is only really in 3 of 16 books he just feels omnipresent to me BUT his introduction is most definitely iconique and god I love him and he made me cry eight thousand times!

Favourite character arcs

Speaking of Nighteyes: what a glow up. He goes from angry, scared, untrusting little bb to……. Nighteyes. Like. How does one even describe the kind of person Nighteyes becomes. He’s just Nighteyes and I love him with all my fuckin heart!! He is Fitz’s constant… He is wise… He is silly… a comedic genius…… a big, open, unconditional heart. Incomparable. I can’t believe I’ve seen ppl saying they dislike/d Nighteyes……. Honey…… it’s called taste xx

Favourite quote/s

Again no tabs so it’s a bit harder to keep track but there were a few that stuck out enough to copy down. There are a lot of iconic quotes in this book that get shared a lot so I only bothered with ones I didn’t remember.

- “I wince to think of the price willingly paid for loving me.”

- “My soft, clean bed beckoned, like a soft, clean tomorrow.” (mood)

- “I looked and saw they were both made of hungers, like containers made of emptiness.”

Favourite relationships

Kettricken/Verity obviously. I was shocked by how little time they actually have together being in love before Verity leaves??? Because all I remembered was how strong their love is. But the whole journey towards that love is what makes it stand out as an actual compelling story in its own right. This is definitely one of Robin’s greatest skills as a writer; giving the minor characters depth by giving them their own relationships that grow and change and have a life of their own outside of Fitz. It makes the world feel so much more alive.

Also Burrich/Fitz in this book continues to be bittersweet, but with a lot more sweet in there than usual! They fully start out this book as a team. Burrich calling Fitz “FitzChivalry” makes me fuckin emo and idk why even. Burrich does seem to start seeing Fitz a lot more as his own person in this book which changes their dynamic in some rly nice ways. The fact that towards the end of the book Burrich even uses the wit to help Fitz is enough to make me cry tbh - and writing this has made me realise that I’m officially past any uncomplicated good times between Burrich and Fitz y’all mind if I fuckin die real quick!!

Fitz/Verity is soy pure and beautiful. Fitz and the Fool is always, always compelling and complex and tender and perfectly mysterious. But overall you’d have to say Fitz/Nighteyes, hey? They are literally meant to be, in a way so straightforward and undeniable and beautifully simple that I never really know what to say about it. Little brother!!! :’) They literally make me cry all the frickin time lol rip!

Favourite setting

There aren’t that many to choose from in this book! Ima go with the skill river bc hey, Robin’s magic systems are so unique and beautiful and the fact that the skill is written as a kind of a place is really frickin cool and deserves a shoutout.

Favourite chapter

The final chapter (not the epilogue) ummm broke my heart but it is written so beautifully, oh my god, it’s like an out of body experience. I feel like this is kind of when RotE becomes RotE - the first time it really goes to that place that is so fitting yet so unexpected, so beautiful, so tragic, so awful, so visceral. Making use of the genre to really test the limits of humanity; to see how far you can bend a person without breaking them and then refusing to turn away from the consequences. Idk man!! I don’t know how to describe it without sounding like a pretentious dick but it really is that intense and strange and overwhelming for me. There is something in that moment, when Burrich pulls Fitz’s body out of the earth and Fitz/Nighteyes is recoiling from it and deeply terrified… Something about the enormity of the existential questions raised converging with the pinpoint specificity of it all being wrapped up in the story of a character that feels so real and who you care about so deeply… It’s almost written like a horror scene, but that’s not quite the feeling. It’s just the RotE feeling; there are multiple throughout all five series, and it’s what makes these books unlike any other.

Most loved character

Fitz, Nighteyes, the Fool all had my entire heart this book. The Fool is just so sad and pathetic and literally must be protected!! I think I’m kind of obsessed with Burrich? Also I think I almost forgot how much I love Kettricken? She’s a complete badass of course but she’s also got the biggest goddamn heart like…. Who said she was allowed to be such a beautiful person???

But god, everyone. I love them all.

Most hated character

What can I say? Regal is disgostang. Wall Ass a close second.

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Shall I list just a few? :)

- Burrich screaming at Fitz through the bars of his jail cell, horrible things you can’t help but feel are at least a little bit true

- Burrich sobbing over Fitz’s dead body repeating, “You aren’t dead, you aren’t dead.”

- Fitz going to Nighteyes before everything went down on the night of the coronation and just fuckin hugging him really tight

- Fitz trying desperately to leave his broken vessel behind but not quite being able to disown his body

- The Fool being beaten

- The Fool being beaten again

- The Fool sprawled and weeping across Shrewd’s dead body

- The Fool really believing for a moment that Fitz had betrayed him and killed Shrewd

- Fitz tending the Fool’s wounds………. bitch….

- Chade giving Fitz a chance to escape with them and Fitz going to kill Serene and Justin instead

- Idk why this is even that sad but Nighteyes saying the only person he loves is Fitz!

- The entire incident with the forged ones literally tearing apart a three year old girl, which I had completely blocked out until now :)

- The fact that Fitz continues to be reminded and traumatised by this incident for the remainder of the book beCAUSE HE IS A GOOD BOY. A VERY GOOD BOY WITH A VERY GOOD HEART.

- Fitz repelling at Nighteyes to try and force their bond broken

- LITTLE BROTHER

- WOLVES HAVE NO KINGS

- High off his face Fitz calling Patience “mother” no shut the fuck up!!!!

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

- I’ve been trying for ages to decipher when the Fool started falling for Fitz, and I think I’m officially putting my money on their last interaction in AA. “I wish I had a place that was as much me as that place is you.” I mean. If someone said that to me… I’m not a slut but who knows, ya know? (I know this is more a note for the last book but I thought of it while reading this book. So shh.)

- It’s so clear to see this time how much Fitz’s sense of self and politics are affected by his time in the Mountains. He obviously feels much more inclined to their way of thinking about royalty and sacrifice and equality and returns to Buckkeep with a self-respect he’s never really had before. Weird how being among people who don’t just think of you as The Bastard will do that.

- It’s no wonder Fitz becomes so fixated on Molly; he literally has almost nothing else to occupy him and no companionship when she suddenly shows up

- It’s gross that he spies on her, obviously, but you can’t not take into account the fact that Chade has been teaching him since he was ten that this is justifiable behaviour; a reasonable way to gather information and get what you want. Fitz’s lack of social awareness goes further than him just being a little awkward; he has literally been trained to believe the only thing wrong with stalking would be getting caught.

- I’ve seen a few people talk about the fact that Regal isn’t appropriately punished as if it’s bad writing and like, while it is frustrating, it is supposed to be frustrating - it is not a plot hole. It made sense to me the first time I read it and it was even more obvious this time; Regal has the loyalty of the inland duchies. If he were to be publicly punished those dukes would rally behind him and raise hell, and Regal would no longer need to play the part of the dutiful prince. Even if Regal died a “natural” death - something I can’t see Shrewd or Verity orchestrating anyway - the inland dukes would feel that they no longer have a Farseer on their side and may, again, raise hell. It’s a delicate balance that would be outrageously difficult not to topple if you removed Regal from the equation. There is a lot more to it than I’ll bother writing here but yeah. I don’t really know how people can read this book and think that Regal retaining his life and position is some sort of lazy plot contrivance. It was all set up in the first book dude.

- Fitz and Nighteyes meeting in this book is the perfect metaphor for our need for connection versus the fear of inevitable loss. Fitz’s experience tells him that entering into a bond with an animal can only end in pain, yet he can’t resist it. In real life this is especially true with humans and our animal companions, since they almost always have a shorter lifespan than us; signing up to love them is signing up to lose them. But the same is also true of our relationships with other humans. And like Fitz, we have all had our fair share of loss and pain. We all have our reasons to be afraid of the connection we naturally crave. Sometimes we give in to the fear to the point of holding ourselves back from it entirely. That’s where Fitz is at when he meets Nighteyes. But what’s so beautiful about their arc as a metaphor is that it suggests that these connections, if we submit to them, are what keep our vital spark alive. Even when Nighteyes dies later in the series, the sentiment always remains, essentially, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Ya boi is projecting bc it’s hard to be vulnerable and make friends as an adult, but I think the observation stands. Love and connection and vulnerability are key threads that run throughout all of Fitz’s story, but in this book it is best represented through him and Nighteyes.

- “I hoped I would not become too adept at lying to myself.” Honey, you got a big storm comin.

- Very inch resting (gay) that Fitz finds it hard to meet the Fool’s eyes. I know almost everyone does bc his eyes are weird, but I reserve the right to reach and I will absolutely NOT be accepting criticism.

- I find it interesting that Fitz says Kettricken’s wit is not strong just because she doesn’t use it exactly the way he does

- I know it’s not meant to be funny but……. The way Fitz described losing his virginity had me literally laughing out loud

- Fitz was really like “okay i better go break my bond with Nighteyes” just cos he and Molly fucked. Teenagers don’t deserve rights.

- You know what? I really, really appreciate how fucking weird these books are lol. What other author would use their magic system to have their characters accidentally intruding on each other’s awkward sex stuff? Okay, maybe a few, but they would do it to be like, edgy and sexy. Robin Hobb just does it to make you cringe so hard you lose several years off of your life.

- But seriously, even apart from the cringe stuff, these books get so strange and out there and like! That’s what magic is for! 

- Bruh. When Fitz is like “omg poor Verity…. He’ll never have what i have with Molly” I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone encapsulate the self-important delusion of teen romance so perfectly lol. Wow.

- Okay some Fitz/Fool stuff that made me lose my tiny mind. Sorry.

- Fitz literally said about the Fool “he burned too brightly” I WILL DIE.

- Fitz is always like, irritated by the Fool… yet positively delighted by his presence at the same time…… okay bitch

- Inch resting how Fitz has always been uncomfortable with the Fool getting serious. I don’t quite know how to put my thoughts on this into words so like. I’ll just put it there. Make of it what you will.

- “Sit on my clothes chest and take your shirt off…” i stopped fucking breathing noah fence

- “I ran my fingers lightly down the line of his jaw, and around his eye socket. At least no bone seemed damaged. ‘Who did this to you?’ I asked him.” my GOD this is literally textbook gay/romance. It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

- Straight from my notes: “I can’t even focus on reading this bc it’s the first time they are tending each other’s wounds and I am a homosexual!” and “the gays are quaking!! (it’s me I’m the gays)

- Okay wow! I think that’s it! Hello if you made it this far! Hope this was remotely coherent and I’m always keen to hear your thoughts on my thoughts :)

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

[spud-works]

Creatures Such As We

A quick little story to those who didn’t ask for this, ie all my followers and mutuals.

Since I sold my Xbox and my PC has croaked out, I am stuck with mobile gaming on my iPad 4 (which sucks kinda cuz it’s 7 years old and all good games are incompatible with it). Recently, the App Store recommended to me a choose-your-own-adventure book app called “Creatures Such As We”, a novel where your choices affect the outcome.

Basically you make your own character (I’d like to point out this game’s openness to represent cuz you have the option of being either a cis male/female or trans male/female and since it has a romance element it also has representation for bi ppl) who’s a tour guide on a recreational facility on the moon. It opens with your character playing a game titled “Creatures Such As We” where he’s struggling to find a “good ending” where the protagonist can save both the world and their love interest, something they fail to accomplish despite several replays (no it isn’t a telltale game they’re playing). After that frustration, they are told their next tour is the dev team to that game they play. Now basically the romance part comes in with which developer you choose to bond with. Here’s the list:

Andres, the average white guy, a bit of a pretentious asshole. Sardi, and Indian girl who’s a self absorbed asshole. Ren, a Chinese girl who’s a harshly critical asshole (do you see where I’m getting at here?). Grant, a stereotypical rich white guy (and asshole). James, pretty chill guy, a bit annoying (idk what his ethnicity is). And finally Diana, an American dreamer (the one really nice person in this group) with her head always thinking up the wildest stories and she’s the lead writer, basically the person you nag about the ending to that game.

So your first impressions have a strong effect on how these people will see you. You can either give them a strictly professional greeting or act casual and nice. (It is at this point I realize that I’m going into a full on summary but I honestly can’t be fucked to change it) So you give a thorough tour of the place (Grant’s sick so he’s throwing up until you send his sorry ass to med bay) and let them sleep in their quarters for this week long stay. It is also at this point I realize that all your character does in their spare time is work out and play video games. Anyways, your character decided to restart the Creatures game from the beginning, where basically you kinda familiarize yourself with the protagonist and their love interest. Then, you again reach the ending and the inevadability of Elegy’s (the love interest) death. The next morning at breakfast your character chooses who to sit with aka start a friendship with. I chose Diana cuz practically everyone else is an asshole and I’m curious about that game. I’m told that yes, there is in fact a rigged ending on the comment of the idea that for some people to survive others must suffer (in this case Elegy has to sacrifice herself in order to save the protagonist and the world). You talk about how there are moments where sometimes, people can survive without suffering and (I’m not gonna detail the rest of the convo cuz it boils down to she’s flattered by your idea cuz of a recent business merger of her company meaning she suffers under more intense scheduling and idea restrictions for the benefit of the CEOs). So then there’s the tour where you take the devs to the Lunar surface in space suits. To sum it up, Diana has a panic attacked and almost breaks her suit and suffocates until you take her back to the facility and calm her down (this is where the romance REALLY kicks in even though your boss and her boss would hate this). So basically for the next day my character snuck off and hung out with Diana and then had to go back to touring duties. Next day, SURPRISE SURPRISE THERES A REASON THE MOON IS COVERED IN HOLES GUESS WHAT OUTER SPACE DECIDES TO RAIN DOWN SUM DEATH. So a meteor shower happens and leaves a mile wide crater between the facility and the Evac shuttles. So your director, afraid to have a bad reviews cuz he failed to activate the asteroid defence, tells your character to lie and blackmails you into doing it. So then I take the devs into the space suits and try to get them past the crater. Of course, Diana falls in and you have the choice to either leave her as protocol dictates, or save her and get fired. What did I choose? If it ain’t obvious you’re a heartless bastard (and yes I AM being hypocritical by saying that). So I brought her to the shuttles, meteor shower is over and I’m told I’m fired until Diana takes the blame by saying her curious mind fiddled with systems. You get your kid to keep, you’re not allowed to even tell Diana goodbye as she leaves for Earth and you’re left heartbroken and with a rigged video game. No matter how many times I replayed I that section, I’d reach that outcome. It would be a different ending, but my character would still lose Diana. And that’s the end…

Actually it isn’t. Author basically asks if I enjoyed the story, and I said I did cuz I didn’t mind the ending too much, I’m thrown into the Epilogue. What happens? I got an email from Diana with a file for a “patch” she convinced the devs to make to Creatures, and I got the Alpha. What was the patch? I got an extra option in the end. Before Elegy turns herself into a black hole targeting the main antagonist, the protagonist gives her a hug and a kiss to stop her from killing herself, and with the guards knocked out they destroy the military base and save the world and live happily ever after. Then, you are basically given a list of things to change, and this turned out to be a LOOONG epilogue. My character managed to get the director who blackmailed him fired. Diana becomes the head developer and writer to a new game based on her friendship with my character. My character resigns his job and moved back to Earth, getting help from Diana to physically get used to the natural environment and starting a relationship with her and gets a job as one of her writers in the new game. The end.

No doubt there is one question on everyone’s mind. Why say all this? Well, to be honest I actually PREFERRED the base ending without the Epilogue. I felt like the Epilogue was unnecessary closure, after a five hour playthrough drove into my head the whole idea that some things you can’t change, a lesson that is actually harshly relevant in my current life, something I had to apply to my current relationships with the people I know and care about. The pre epilogue story was kind of my own personal closure, the idea that I just need to move on in order to survive, even if I do have to suffer to some extent. I can understand why the author put it in. Under normal circumstances I would have loved the fact that there was a happy ending. So yeah. There’s just a little peak about my weekend and the sort of impact a choose your own adventure book has on me. Hope I didn’t bore you too much.