#why does his journal section end with a story from a man he admits to making up completely? the doctor from seattle doesnt exist

[technicolorxsn]

love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: One World, One People (1x06)

Oof, okay, so I obviously enjoyed watching this, but I do have some things I would like to discuss.

Cons:

The biggest one is honestly about Isaiah. I understand that this is a superhero show, and there's some cheesiness baked into the very concept of it. I like the idea of a triumphant ending for our heroes, where amends are made and everyone is brought some measure of peace. BUT, I feel like a more nuanced, more true to reality ending here with Isaiah might have been different. Maybe he gives a tip of the hat to Sam, says he's happy he's found his peace, but he still doesn't agree with his choices. See, the thing is, some people who have been hurt by systems want that system to acknowledge its mistake, to apologize, to make amends. That's what Sam is pushing for. He believes we can do better, and all that. And that's a wonderful perspective. But other people who have been hurt by systems might not want anything to do with that system ever again. At the end, when Sam sets up the part of the museum for Isaiah, he says "now everyone will know what you did for this country," and Isaiah seemed pleased and touched by this. But I couldn't help but think... he was forced into doing those things, and then punished for doing them. If he'd decided he didn't want acknowledgment, didn't want to be linked to the idea of American heroism... I couldn't blame him for that. It might have added more nuance to the ending. Sam could have even said that it's okay if he and Isaiah don't agree on the best way forward, they still have mutual respect, or whatever.

As a white lady, maybe I'm off base. I'm just really curious at what the reaction is going to be. All through watching this show I kept saying to myself that an ending where Sam takes up the shield and becomes Captain America can't stand on its own. There's got to be nuance. There's got to be some good justification for it. And as I'll talk about in a moment, I think they've done an okay job... but I also wouldn't be surprised to find some people enormously dissatisfied with this conclusion. Steve Rogers handed the shield to Sam, yes. But should we forget what he did before handing it over? Well, he walked away from the government and was on the run because he didn't respect their choices. Just some food for thought.

I also just want to say: ????? to that ending for John Walker? It was so bizarre to see the light banter moment between him and Bucky after Walker had quoted Lincoln. Like... that felt so out of place. And now he's being made into an American agent? I don't understand that random lady's role in events. I don't know if I'm supposed to think it's sinister and creepy as fuck that John still has a uniform, and even the suggestion of authority (I do think it's creepy as fuck, for the record), or if I'm supposed to be... pleased that he got a new job? Just, tonally, the stuff with Walker in this finale was all over the place. He didn't seem to really matter, and yet he was still there, and the episode didn't seem able to reckon with his presence.

Oh, also, I can totally respect a bit of ham-fisted politic in a show like this. It's really the only way to do it. But Karli saying that Lamar didn't matter, and John saying "you think Lemar's life didn't matter?" was, perhaps, a little on the nose. I'm not sure I like the BLM mouthpiece being blond haired blue eyed John Walker, especially when Lemar's death, at least as a narrative function, only happened to allow John to get sad and angry about it. Where's his wing in the museum, huh?

Also Sharon Carter, she's my girl or whatever, but I gotta admit she was kind of boring to me in this whole series. I wanted more from her. The reveal that she was the Power Broker had me shrugging. I wanted to be more shocked, but she was so clearly telegraphed as being fishy from minute one. The fact is, we haven't had enough time with this character to figure out who she actually is as a person, yet. I don't understand her, and that's a shame.

Pros:

That was a long "cons" section, especially for an episode that kept me riveted the whole way through!

First off, the action was exciting and different and had so many classic "superhero moments" while not totally abandoning a more grounded feel. Sam holding the car up was such a Moment. Also the "that's Black Falcon!" "No, that's Captain America" moment was so cheesy but exactly the right kind of cheesy, you know? We got to see everyone being a bad-ass, crowds applauding, Sam's fantastic entrance with the new suit, the wings, the shield... damn. It was all cool in the way the best Marvel products need to be.

So, Sam taking the shield. I think it works because of his speech to the politicians. Specifically calling out the power they have, and the people they have in the room with them when they make the decisions that will affect so many people. There's this wonderful moment when one of the politicians asks a legitimate question: what about people who came back after the snap to find someone else living in their house? It's so complicated. And as the show ends, we're not given a simple answer. Sam merely points out the miracle of having everyone fighting the same fight for once. These rich and powerful people have had no idea how impossible it can be, and now they're getting a taste of that. There might just be the power of equalizing in all of this.

And most important to me? The government didn't hand Sam the shield. Sam took it and took ownership of it on his own terms. Think back to the legacy of Steve and the shield, honestly. Yes, he was given it by the government, but then he stole it when he ran away, then he gave it up, then Tony gave it back to him... it's a lot more complicated than it might first appear. Nobody's going to argue that the shield was Steve's to give, and he gave it to Sam, and Sam took it for his own. That made it work for me, as a direct contrast to the way in which John Walker got his hands on it.

Karli's death was inevitable and tragic. While I never cared all that much for her character as an individual, she worked quite well as a symbol. Sam points this out in his speech as well. Hasn't anyone stopped to wonder why people believed in this cause so much they were willing to die for it? That matters. It means something. And more will follow. I appreciate that the show ends on an ambiguous note. The people in power are still the people in power. And yes, their decision has been postponed. They've decided not to relocate people and replace the borders immediately. But what is the long-term solution? How does the world begin to heal? Well, we don't know. We don't get to see that.

If anyone got short shrift in this finale it was Bucky, but I'm honestly okay with that for a couple of reasons. One, this is Sam's show and I'm happy that it stayed that way. And two, we saw Bucky's emotional arc come to a head in last week's episode. The work isn't done, but he knows what the work is that he has to do, and we see him start to do that. He gives the journal up to his therapist. A way of letting go of his guilt, but also of saying goodbye to Steve in a way that can give him some actual closure. He confesses to his friend Yuri what really happened to his son.

And more than all of that, he shows up to hang out with Sam and his family. He brings cake. He goofs off with the kids. He hugs his friend, his partner, Sam Wilson. I can see Bucky coming to peace with some things. Coming into his own. It breaks my heart that we don't get to see more of that play out on screen. The show had to make a choice about whose story to prioritize, and in my opinion it made the right choice. This was a show about Sam's journey and Sam's decision here at the end was the capstone of that.

That scene at the end, though... the kids hanging off of Bucky's metal arm was such a poignant image for me, because this man is a killing machine, was designed to be so, but has remade himself into something else, and this moment really showcased that. Also, that gay-ass ending of Sam and Bucky looking out over the water together and then strolling away, Sam's arm around Bucky? Thank you for my life, Disney, I guess. And we got Bucky calling Sam "Cap," and his obvious admiration and pride in him for his speech... I just love them, y'all. I really do.

I wouldn't say anything about this show broke the mold or made me really excited about Marvel again. I enjoyed it, because I already liked Sam and Bucky, and I got to spend more time with them. I was nervous about how they were going to navigate certain political stickiness, and honestly I think they did... an okayish job. I could have wished for them to go even further, but they didn't take the easy way out, in my opinion.

I hope they make more of this someday. Regardless, I'm not ready to say goodbye to Sam Wilson or Bucky Barnes, so I hope we get to see Captain America and the White Wolf grace our screens again in some project or other!

8.5/10

[krolock-in-the-snowlock]

I watched Broadway’s Dance of the Vampires so you don’t have to

Ever wondered how bad the broadway version actually is? Now’s your chance to find out, my friend...

So about a month ago, I came across a bootleg of the broadway show and, because it was late and I am a Certified Idiot, I decided to watch it and write down my thoughts. Having heard how bad it was, I knew to expect a train wreck, but I had no idea just how much of a train wreck it was going to be until I pressed play and witnessed something that truly cannot be described in words.

I was originally just going to post my whole list of thoughts but it ended up being over 5000 words (many of which were me screaming NO and wHYYY) so I’ve put it in a separate post, so click that link if you want to read it in its entirety!

Instead, I’ve decided to do a (slightly) shorter summary of ‘highlights’, if they can really be called that, with a kind of silly score for each ‘category’. A review, if you will. I’m sure I’ll have missed some things, but this should hopefully at least give you an idea of what exactly they did to poor Tanz der Vampire. Still, I apologise for the length of this in advance - I just had a lot of thoughts, okay?

A quick disclaimer: While I have seen clips of producations of Tanz from various countries, I’ve only seen the whole production once - the Berlin bootleg from somewhere around 2009-11 - so I’ll mostly be comparing with that!

I know the broadway musical is a big taboo subject, so I’m not expecting many, if any, to actually read any of this. But if you ever wondered how bad it was and didn’t want to have to actually watch it, this post is for you!

So, without further ado…

The Characters: -7/10

Let me begin by saying that many of the characters bear almost no resemblance to the originals. The worst case, of course, is with Giovanni von Krolock. A cringeworthy caricature, his awful faux-Italian accent, terrible jokes and horrifying bat form make him the polar opposite of what Krolock is supposed to be. In my notes, I actually referred to him as Giovanni rather than Krolock, because this is not Krolock; where Krolock is mysterious, aloof, powerful, and occasionally slightly sarcastic, Giovanni is silly, makes puns in nearly every line, and commands no respect or fear whatsoever. I resent that I began to ironically enjoy mocking him by the time I’d finished watching it.

Alfred is absurdly confident and confrontational, and narrates everything he writes in his journal (and tbh is probably a closeted bi). Sarah now apparently has friends and is allowed to leave her room. Koukol doesn’t exist, and is replaced by a man that Krolock hypnotises, who sometimes acts like a dog. Herbert is French, ridiculously stereotypical, and there is a very poor attempt from Krolock at pronouncing his name in a French accent. The other characters are fortunately mostly the same as the originals, although not entirely.

The Music: 2.5/10

Oh, the music… how do I begin?

Long story short, it was generally horrible. Multiple songs were cut entirely, and others were mashed together into strange frankensongs. The opening song, for instance, is completely different (and was what immediately made me realise I’d made a terrible mistake in deciding to watch it). The lyrics were mostly not as interesting as the original German lyrics, and often had less syllables, so the songs often felt empty and drawn out.

Many of the songs had slightly different overall meanings/purposes to their German counterparts, and I though that songs like Total Eclipse and Invitation to the Ball were way too sappy and romantic, lacking any of the drama and tension of Totale Finsternis and Einladung zum Ball. Krolock had been so ridiculous the whole time that Die Unstillbare Gier sadly could never have worked, even if the lyrics had been better. The singing itself was actually pretty good from what I remember, which was the only thing that saved the music, but Krolock’s horrible accent ruined many of the songs he was in. There was so much potential for it to be good if they’d just done a faithful adaption…...

I could go on forever about the music (as I do in my full commentary) but that would probably need a whole new post! So instead let’s move on to…

The Costumes: 2/10

Boring. Sarah’s red ball gown is nice enough, but all of the other vampires’ costumes are painfully simple and poorly designed. Krolock lacks a cape for most of the musical (which is a crime), Herbert is dressed in a hideous bright blue coat and an aggressively yellow wig, and the finale costumes are just simple black leather coats. It all lacks any of the detail or, in Herbert’s case, sparkle, of any of the other versions of the costumes that I’ve seen. While I should probably note that this was in 2002, it is still noticeably simpler than other productions of Tanz around the same time. Krolock also lacks his usual makeup, and Herbert’s is just ugly. And Krolock’s top hat in the opening? Why???

The Staging: -5/10

When they aren’t dancing, most of the ‘staging’ is just the characters at opposite sides of the stage facing each other. It doesn’t matter what is supposed to be happening in the scene, or the message of the song; they just... stand there. Occasionally, if you’re lucky, the characters might stand next to each other, but such close proximity is a rare occurrence in Dance of the Vampires, saved mostly for Alfred or Krolock with Sarah or Herbert and, in a strange duet about books, Krolock and Professor Ambronsius.

Krolock does pretty much nothing in Die Unstillbare Gier, and the staging for Einladung zum Ball was very confusing, at least when they weren’t just standing still. Sarah’s bedroom inexplicably becomes a cloudy place with no floor, and it was never quite clear whether the scene was a dream or not. Considering the rest of the musical, either possibility is honestly equally likely. At one point at the start of the first act, Krolock literally rises out of the ground in a huge coffin. I could go on. Also the sponge Krolock gives Sarah is a fraction of the size of the one he gives her in the original, which I like to think is a metaphor for the broadway production itself.

The Sets: 3/10

While not accurate to any other versions at the time or since, a couple of the sets were admittedly quite pretty (though still not quite on Kentaur’s level). However, there was no inn structure for the first act, and some of the sets were quite limited. One of the most popular (and nicest) sets in the second act is a huge stairway covered in a frankly impractical number of candles.

In the finale, despite the characters on multiple occasions declaring that the story takes place in Transylvania in “18something”, the background is for some reason Times Square with all of its neon signs (which I’m pretty sure did most certainly not exist in the 1800s). Whether a huge location change and time skip of a couple hundred years has taken place or whether the directors and set designers finally gave up trying to make the story make sense, I have no idea.

Worst Moments:

I just had to include this section! These are only a few of the worst and/or most bizarre moments I could pick out. I’m sure there’s more that I forgot but here are some (read: quite a few) of my favourites:

Krolock, wearing a top hat, rising from the ground in a giant coffin before saying, “God has left the building”

Krolock appearing as a hideous animated bat thing

Sarah and her friends getting high on mushrooms in the opening

The fact that Sarah’s birthday is on Halloween at midnight during the total eclipse of the moon

Krolock offering Alfred a sponge shaped like a penis then slowly tilting it down when Alfred says no

Ambronsius decorating Sarah’s room in Halloween decorations to scare off Krolock

Krolock genuinely being convinced that Sarah is a literal princess until he visits her room

Krolock and Ambronsius harmonising about books together

The big grey winged gargoyle demons dancing on the bed during Carpe Noctem

Krolock repeatedly dressing in a big grey dress and pretending to be his own mother/wife/who even knows what

Alfred angrily threatening Krolock, followed by Krolock physically attacking Alfred (this happens on more than one occasion)

The nonsense ‘prophecy’ they randomly introduce

“I use my body as a bandage, I use my body as a wound” (and this is instead of “Ich will frei und freier werden, und werde meine Ketten nicht los”) WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Koukol-replacement saying, “Okay, here he is, the man you’ve all been waiting for, his excellency… the Count von Krolock!) and Krolock waving and pointing like a rockstar as he kisses people walking down the stairs to the ball

Krolock dramatically dying on the stairs at the end of the ball for a solid minute

The Good Parts

Surprisingly, there were a few redeeming features!

Firstly, the couple of songs where they kept things very similar to the source material (such as Knoblauch) were actually quite good at times. Unfortunately, this isn’t to say that they were necessarily good, but compared to the less faithful parts they were a nice surprise, even if Knoblauch was never my favourite song from Tanz.

The singing itself was generally pretty good too! I also hate to admit that I did at times find myself laughing a little at the awful jokes.

And... uhh...

...yeah, that’s about it...

Some Highlights From My Notes:

And finally, here are some out of context quotes from my notes that I feel sum up the musical quite well:

It sounds like he’s about to start a really sad rave

I was gonna roast the lyrics some more but I’m gonna be honest I’m not sure what he’s saying

This feels on the same level of what kind of acid trip hallucination parallel universe have I landed in as seeing the Cats film in the cinema

Is this actually Deadpool in disguise with all the fourth wall breaking

Crawford looks like he regrets everything and can I just say Michael so does everybody else

He looks like a potato or a rock or that neutral nicolas cage face that people put on the sequin cushion

This sounds like a poorly written Krolock/reader wattpad fanfic

Giovanni would highkey be like lol arent i so random rawr xd on myspace

He might as well have said, “Itsa me, Mario”

They’re just stood there like two pigeons aimlessly squawking at each other

Alfred is like a chihuahua with small dog syndrome barking at a bigger dog, except Giovanni is barely bigger and is a flea-infested Chinese Crested dressed in a cheap Halloween costume

The throne glides like a magic carpet only it doesn’t leave the ground so I suppose it’s actually more like a chair with wheels, which is much less exciting

He just stands there like a poorly-dressed rock

-22/10 would not listen again

Final Comments:

So, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope that was somewhat informative and/or entertaining for you! It took me weeks to get through the whole musical because I couldn’t stand watching it for too long at a time, and maybe you can see why! Like I said at the start of this monster of a post, there’s probably a lot that I’ve forgotten to mention, so if you’re unfortunate enough to have seen any of this car crash of a musical, feel free to add your thoughts! :D

[yayninjabob]

A story behind a story

I have never wrote 100,000 words of anything in my life and 9 months ago when I first sat down to write Villain: Redux I definitely did NOT anticipate the length it would reach by the end of Part I. Now that it is done though I feel like I can talk about it.  Well not really the story but the story behind the story?  

A very lengthy and personal author's note for Part I: Remote Control

How I started writing again: My relationship with my writing was non existent for years.  I honestly went through a very long drought where I felt like everything I created just sucked so bad and I had zero motivation for creating shit.  I would talk with my therapist or my wife and friends about feeling so out of touch with my creative side and feeling pretty lost without it.  Really, I pretty much felt like it was dead forever.  I eventually started a personal journal again... And little drabbles here and there would come to mind... It felt alright but meh. "What did you enjoy about writing that you still feel is missing?" I was asked. Ffffffuck me I dont know.  Writing as a teen and in my early twenties wasn't something I ever thought about even when I did it every damn day of my life.  I guess I missed having that ongoing plot in the back of my head that I could escape to whenever life was lame. Daydreaming crazy stories as a kid was just my favorite past time and writing went with it.  But I just didnt have any more stories in my head. Nothing new or exciting enough at least. Anyways. January was my dads bday.  2019 and that year my dad asked for something.  Now my dad isn't one to ask for gifts. No, normally he is extremely frustrating and expects everyone to read his mind while saying "I dont care" yet if his gifts dont meet his secretive expectations he gets all butthurt and emo and says that nobody knows him.  Ok but January 2019 he asks me to write him something.   "What?  A story?  A poem?  A birthday card?" "I dont care just write me something." Typical. "I dont care."  Yeah right.  What the hell does he expect from me jeez.... My dad was the OG storyteller in my life- real shit or bullshit- he could spin a crazy story like no one else. My uncles and his friends would sit around smoking and drinking and listening to one wild tale after the next.   He could entertain people for HOURS just with the shit he’d say.  I always thought he'd make a brilliant stand up comedian but my dad would just laugh at the idea. So for his gift I figured I'd retell one of his personal wild tales - his first encounter with a mountain lion at 12 during a hunting trip with my late great uncle Joe who was his adoptive father figure.  Honestly my dad was always so incredibly descriptive and I heard that tale about a bazillion times growing up, and even though he hadnt shared it in probably 15+ years, it was easy to recall. I could just close my eyes and see it clear as day.  I stayed loyal to his story but I used my own words.  It really surprised me how easy I found those words though.  Writing had been such an impossible challenge for so long yet when I finished the short story I had written 12 pages in a single afternoon and I was shocked but in a good way.  It was his story so I was pretty sure he would like it. He's got a pretty big ego lol. I typed it up on the typewriter my dad had gotten me back when I was a teen and serious about becoming a "real writer."  I figured he would appreciate that.  I gave him the story on his birthday.  He didnt read it right away. We went to the backyard and the two of us shared a joint and while I started chasing the dogs in the yard for a bit I saw he finally picked the story up. And when he finished he started crying. Which is always weird when it's your dad right?  He isn't one to cry easily. Last time I saw tears in his eyes was three years prior at my wedding but even that wasnt like this.  He told me "You need to write again.   You need to try." But I still felt like I couldn't. I never really thought I was good at it anyway.  Sure, people told me they liked my writing and it meant a lot that my dad was moved so much by my short story that I started to believe “hey maybe I can write,” but... I dunno.  I had a rough idea for an original novel that I sat down with later that month and tried to work out... But it just felt forced and uninteresting.  It wasnt a story my mind could just escape to effortlessly.  The passion just wasnt there. After a while my wife suggested to me "Well when you retold your dad's story that was easier right?  Maybe you should retell another story that you love." And so in August 2019 I sat down and wrote what would eventually become the scarring scene for Villain: Redux

Part I:  Remote Control I spent the rest of August, September and October slowly falling back into my old world of Villain.  I reread both Villain and VillainE for the first time in yeeeeeears.  What. A. Trip. So much stood out to me that was like "Ok young me, I see where you were going but this could be so much better."  I made my list of what I liked and what I wanted to change.. Constructed my outline and then I just went for it.   Halloween night that year was spent finishing my first draft of chapter 1.  It was still in Buttercup's limited POV.  I liked it OK enough but I wondered if it would be improved if I tried third person instead.  I said "fuck it why not" and went for it again but in third person, adding the beginning history of Townsville and then the opening scene with Mojo.   When I finished it I was pretty amused with it and I found myself just starting right away on chapter 2 and adding even more details to my overall outline- it became a trilogy.  It was flowing SO easy and for once writing didnt feel like some forced chore I was performing.   The entire time though I debated whether or not to share any of it.  I didn't think anyone would read it.  But personally, I was falling in love with my new rendition and I really didn't want to stop writing it. So once again I said "fuck it why not" and I started this tumblr to start documenting my new commitment to rewriting Villain for good.  I edited the first chapter and uploaded it a couple days before Thanksgiving. And the support I got from readers honestly made me cry haha... I really really thought the story would go unnoticed.  After all, when I first started writing for the PpG fandom it was always an uphill battle and 90 percent of my first reviews were just flames and criticism.  The original Villain really took a while to gain much of a readership and even though it had its moment of somewhat popularity in the fandom, that moment came after it was completed. A brief glance at the PpG section on FFnet showed me that things really hadnt changed- still 99 percent PpGxRrB romances.  Man, it just seemed so unfair. I freaking love this show and TBH I will never understand the fandom's fixation on those damn Rowdyruffs.  Whatever.  It is what it is.  But because of that and because I hadnt been an active writer in the fandom for like a decade I really thought I'd be lucky to get one review.   And I did!  On the first day!  And I was PUMPED lol.   Then over the next couple of days I got more and most from names I recognized from the past!  I was so touched by some of the things you guys said, you will have no idea what those first 7 reviews meant to me.  And of course the reviews to follow throughout the next chapters only continued to motivate me further. And now I'm done with Part I.  Jeez what a freaking journey.  I feel like I've learned a lot though and I hope that the story only improves from here.   Today, this story invades my subconscious more than I would like to admit.  But.  It is so nice to have an exciting story to escape to once more.  And I feel like I can say that my creative drive is finally restored again which feels amazing.  Who knew it would be this rewrite of all things to do it. So yeah.  I owe the biggest thanks to my readers (the reviewers especially), my wife, and of course my dad.   I know we are just at the beginning of this story, but personally I just feel like I've accomplished more than I could've imagined already... like I said... 100,000 words is something I’ve never done before lol.  And I cant wait to share the rest of the story with everyone.   Anyways that’s my long soppy backstory on how I decided to rewrite Villain.  Thanks for reading. :)

[carmenlire]

White Blank Page Ch. 2

edit courtesy of the amazing @kindaresilient!

read chapter one

read on ao3

Magnus’s alarm goes off at six and he’s immediately annoyed. He pulls an arm out of his blanket cocoon and swipes at his phone that’s laying on the nightstand. It takes a few seconds but soon enough his bedroom is back to complete silence.

It’s late October and the chilliness has started to seep into the air. With the time change, his room is pitched in total darkness and it only makes him want to fall back asleep.

Unfortunately, Magnus never sleeps in. He built Bane Enterprises from the ground up, starting with a Youtube Channel and a blog, and he hasn’t grown an empire by sleeping the days away.

With a groan, he throws the covers off and runs a hand through his hair. Hissing as his feet land on icy floors, Magnus takes the few steps to the bathroom where he splashes water on his face in an effort to wake up.

Just a few minutes later, he’s changed into workout clothes and is making his way outside. He runs his customary four miles using park trails and empty sidewalks and by the time he comes to a stop, breathing harshly by his building’s door, he feels like his usual self.

Straightening, Magnus nods to the doorman as he passes. “Meliorn.”

“Mr. Bane,” Meliorn replies, as deadpan as ever. Magnus has never quite managed to make friends with the man, who seemed impervious to everyone, whether they were friendly or infuriated.

Taking his private elevator to the penthouse unit, Magnus heads directly to his balcony that overlooks Manhattan where he unrolls his mat-- decorated in the colors of the bi flag-- and practices yoga for forty five minutes.

Magnus reflects as he shifts from downward facing dog to child’s pose that this is his only real time for himself during the day. For the next twelve hours, he’ll be in meetings and solving crises and making sure that his company doesn’t fall apart. Even his dinner or drinks in the evening are usually more business than pleasure. As he deepens the stretch, focusing on his breathing, Magnus thinks a little mournfully that he can’t remember the last time he had enough time to go away on a vacation or enjoy someone for more than an evening.

He’s rapidly approaching thirty and as his yoga winds down, Magnus contemplates-- as much as he ever does-- that maybe it’s time to slow down and take some time for himself.

It’s true that he’s been feeling a little burned out lately. The past six months have been passed in a tedious blur of conference calls and business trips and networking. Each day, exhaustion has been pulling him under a little more and he’s just not getting the same satisfaction and excitement over his company and the business that had propelled him forward the past eight years.

He needs something new. Even if Magnus resists the notion of taking time off, he can admit that something has to change. Magnus Bane always looks forward but that future looks tedious, boring.

He doesn’t know what his next step should be-- maybe, he thinks idly, he needs to expand his business repertoire. Distantly, he thinks that there’s been rumblings of a news conglomerate experiencing financial difficulties that would welcome his money and his opinion in exchange for a safety next from filing for Chapter Nine.

Padding into the kitchen, Magnus drinks a glass of water and then another before turning to his bedroom to get ready for the day.

An hour later and he’s just putting the finishing touches on his eyeliner. Sliding into his suit jacket, he fastens the top of two buttons and looks in his floor length mirror for a final cursory glance.

Late October has brought a definite chill and he debates before throwing on his overcoat, an austere black that goes well with his burgundy suit. The town car picks him up at exactly 8:30 and he’s on his way to the office in New York’s rush hour traffic. He spends that time getting caught up on headlines and reading through a few of his emails.

Magnus’s business is the news. He owns a dozen newspapers and just as many networks and channels. He eats, breathes, and lives the news and that’s allowed him to build Bane Enterprises to its fullest potential with an ever-expanding portfolio.

He sees the latest dumbass thing the president has said and rolls his eyes as he imagines what Maia’s article will look like this morning.

Even though he’s the pinnacle of the company, Magnus still overviews final layout for the New York Daily News every day-- America’s number one paper and the first cornerstone of his success.

He has a certain reputation to uphold and as the town car glides to a halt in front of the NYDN headquarters, he runs through his bare outline for the day. He has a conference call with a news company in Hamburg this morning and will spend an hour managing any HR concerns that have come to him. His lunch break will be spent getting fitted for a suit to a fundraiser next week and he’s ending the day at Chartreuse BonBon, an upscale restaurant where deals are made.

He’ll be lucky to be back home before midnight before waking up the next day just to do some variation all over again.

Everyone stands at attention when he walks into the building. It used to annoy and baffle him, the way people would react so diffidently to his presence, but Magnus has long since grown used to it. Simon had told him that he could be a little scary- everyone knew that he was a good and fair boss but Magnus could be direct and intimidating as hell. Magnus was mollified at that-- he ran his company with an iron fist and demanded the his employees share his zeal, even if it was still a little off putting to be the immediate center of attention.

He takes his private elevator to the top floor, the executives floor, and is greeted with a sight that almost makes him cry, every damn day.

“Thank you, Simon,” Magnus breathes as his assistant hands over his quad shot latte with extra foam. Magnus alternates between tea and coffee but he always has to start with a jolt of caffeine to get him started.

“No problem, boss. Ready to hear about your day?”

“Lay it on me,” Magnus replies grimly as he takes a sip from his cup.

Magnus listens as Simon follows him as they make their way to his executive suite, passing glass walled conference rooms and a handful of offices for Magnus and his top team.

Simon is faithfully looking down at his tablet as he gives Magnus a run down of the next nine hours, mentioning trivia bits about the people he’s meeting and providing clarifications when Magnus can’t quite remember why something is on his agenda.

Simon leaves him after exactly fifteen minutes of debriefing. As Magnus powers up his computer, he thinks for the millionth time that hiring Simon was one of the best decisions that he’s ever made. Simon’s been with him for three years and before that, Magnus had one hell of a time keeping an assistant for longer than a month.

During Simon’s interview, Magnus had been reluctantly charmed at the man with such a lively personality, wearing converse with his rumpled suit. Yet, Simon’s resume had spoken well of him and he’d exhibited a keen mind that could handle the million and one tasks that Magnus could call on him for.

All around, it was a great working relationship. Simon added some levity to his grueling days and Magnus knew he could count on someone, without reservation.

Magnus had learned-- sometimes the hard way-- that there were precious few trustworthy people when he reached this level of success. Simon kept him sane sometimes, among the tumult of pursuing his business aspirations.

The day passes as most others do and it’s mid afternoon before Magnus raises his head from budgets and projections and drafts.

Making a note to have Simon arrange travel and accommodation for a trip at the end of the week to LA, Magnus pushes his chair back from his desk with a wince. Stretching, he reaches for tea that’s grown cold and rolls up his sleeves as he leaves his office.

Shaking his head as he sees Simon headbanging to whatever the hell he’s listening to as he completes his own work, Magnus bypasses him and heads down to the human resources floor. There are a few papers that he needs to sign to finish the hiring process for the department and it’s on the way to the writer’s floor.

As he steps onto the journalists floor, he’s filled with that double-edged emotion that gets him every time he’s amidst the controlled chaos of the writers. As a journalism major, it makes him nostalgic for his own days at his cramped desk. This is the lifeblood of his work-- people writing stories that matter.

The one spot of stillness in the room comes from the far side opposite the bank of elevators. Magnus makes his way through the few dozen desks, stopping to speak to a few people who want his opinion or advice.

By the time he makes it to the wall that holds everyone’s assignments, he’s been briefed on everything from the top ten Christmas gifts of the season to the political upheaval in Beirut.

“How’s everything going?”

Raphael doesn’t look away from where he’s assigning new projects. “Three people called in sick this morning-- damn this flu-- and Rey is a pain in my ass who insists that he needs a delay to ‘follow a lead.’” Raphael snorts. “He’s doing a basic author profile for the arts section. What possible lead could he be working on?”

Magnus smiles even as he’s filled with annoyance. They’d hired Lorenzo Rey just a few months ago because his experience was sound and he’d interviewed well. Magnus had known full well that Rey wasn’t someone to lean on-- it didn’t matter. If Magnus had a penny for every person he worked with that he would never be friends with, then he’d have a fortune to rival the one he’d already amassed.

All that mattered was that Rey finished his pieces on time and that they were well done. As soon as one-- or both-- of those stipulations started to falter, though, then Magnus’s patience plummeted to a swift end.

“Remind him that he’s on deadline and that he’s already missed one for arbitrary reasons. If he’s late this month, or in the future, he’s gone. Feel free to tell him that or whenever it inevitably happens.”

Raphael nods once and the two of them move on to other business. They’d been roommates in college and when Magnus had landed an opportunity to start his own business, Raphael has accepted his offer without hesitation. Raphael was the best damn editor Magnus had ever seen and could spot a story from an ocean away.

As things wind up, Magnus’s phone vibrates. He takes it out and tries to ignore the thousand emails that have come in since lunch.

“Huh,” he says as he reads Simon’s text.

“What?”

“My four o��clock appointment cancelled. I don’t have anywhere to be until dinner.”

“Hot date,” Raphael asks, lips quirking as if just the thought of Magnus having enough time for a date was amusing.

Glaring, Magnus replies, “It was a business dinner with Camille for your information.”

Raphael immediately scowls. “Why on earth would you agree to have dinner with her?”

“She contacted Simon with the request and after a little research, it looks like her company is in trouble.”

Magnus can’t hide the gleam of satisfaction in his eyes or voice. One of his first contacts in the industry, Camille had taught Magnus a lot-- both professionally and personally. Things between them had descended into scandal just over a year into their acquaintance and since then they’ve both steered clear of each other.

When it wasn’t possible-- at fundraisers and award ceremonies for their profession-- they would acknowledge each other, spending a few minutes catching up that was as much a strategic battle as anything else. To say that Magnus had been surprised at the dinner invitation was an understatement. He’d personally cleared an hour to do some research.

And boy, what he had found.

“It looks like Bellecourt is having trouble finding investors and that their page views are experiencing deep and steady declines-- and have been for the past two years.”

“Isn’t that interesting timing,” Raphael says.

Magnus nods. “She’s either going to ask me for a loan or we’re going to go a hundred rounds until she broaches selling.”

“Would you buy Bellecourt?”

Raphael’s voice is impassive on the surface but there’s an undercurrent of genuine curiosity. Magnus hums as he thinks though he’s already decided on his hard limits.

“I won’t become an investor, of course. That would just bring us closer together and it’s better for everyone if we stay on our separate paths. I refuse to give her a way to slide back into my life, however innocuously it would be on the surface. However, I wouldn’t be opposed to buying the website-- for the right price. Camille established Bellecourt and positioned it attractively. I think with some dedication and revamping, it could become profitable again.”

Raphael listens with an attentive ear, nodding slowly as Magnus concludes. “That sounds like the best plan. Plus, you’ve been looking for a way to get into web-based news. This could be a good ticket.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

Magnus turns from the wall of assignments, leaning against the table and crossing his arms over his chest. He knows what he probably looks like: A king surveying his kingdom.

It isn’t far from the truth, Magnus reflects, reluctantly amused. He sees the hustle and bustle of dozens of people in front of him and this is just a small percentage of what he's built. He’s worked damn hard to get to where he is now but it wasn't until he’d finally reached the peak of his mountain that he’s found himself just a touch disillusioned.

It still feels like something is missing. He has more money than he could spend in a lifetime and is kept busy-- pulled in a thousand different directions an hour,-- and generally has more power and influence than he'd ever dreamed possible. But it isn't enough. Damned if he knows what but Magnus can’t help but think that something is lurking on the horizon. His journalistic instincts have never failed him and as he takes a rare minute to rest and take everything in, it feels like a storm’s approaching.

Time will tell if it will signal devastation or renewal.

With a sigh, Magnus thinks of what to do for the next few hours. There's a mountain of work that he could always try to slough through or-- well.

Magnus can't help but flash back to a few weeks ago when he'd found a quiet spot in Manhattan. He hasn't been back to Lightwood Books since he was late to lunch with Ragnor but he's been thinking about the store more than he should-- and its attractive owner.

As Magnus thinks over his schedule for the rest of the day, he abruptly decides fuck it. He'll take an hour or two and swing by a bookstore. He can look forward to a conversation and he might just find a book to spend his few free minutes a day reading.

Magnus pushes himself off the table and straightens, nodding to Raphael as he heads back to his office.

He needs his coat.

[readingraebow]

Dark Places Section One

Libby Day (Now) - Libby Day (Now) (approx pages 1-120)

1. Why does Libby not have to work? What does Jeff come to visit her about? In what way might Lyle be able to help solve her problem with Jeff? Libby's entire family was murdered when she was seven and a donation fund was set up for her. When she was eighteen she got access to the fund and she's been living off the money in the thirteen years since then. The fund has expanded a few times due to the tragedy reentering the press and small appearances and such in the years since. But now that Libby is 31, people don't really want to donate anymore because she's a grown woman now and there are new little girls who need their help. That's why Jeff sees Libby. He's basically her accountant/is in charge of the fund and he warns her that there's only 900 and something dollars left in the fund and it's time to start thinking about what to do when the money runs out. He suggests Libby find a job. But a letter from Lyle offers Libby a business proposition. She's to meet with his club and he'll pay her $700 just to show up.

2. When Libby gets to the place where the Kill Club meets, she sees booths all around of people obsessed with different crimes and murders. If you were part of the Kill Club, which crime would you have your booth themed? This is a super hard question because there are honestly so many that interest me? Lizzy Borden, Belle Gunness, Gertrude Banizewski, Aileen Wuornos, The Zodiac Killer, The Golden State Killer, H. H. Holmes (as you can see, American Horror Story has only added to my obsession with serial killers; oops), JonBenét Ramsey, Ted Bundy. But honestly the crime that probably interests me the most/I've researched the most/the one I'm most obsessed with is Columbine. So if I had a whole booth dedicated to something, it would be that one. I can literally talk for hours/days/years about Columbine and one time we had friends staying with us and they mentioned Columbine aND I WHIPPED OUT A POWERPOINT to talk about it. It's fine.

3. When Libby gets a chance to talk to the members of the Kill Club, what does she learn about how some of them feel? What does Libby admit that she didn’t actually see?She learns that most of them think Ben is innocent. One of the members in the group is actively trying to get him out of prison. But most of them think that Libby couldn't have possibly seen what she says she saw and that she was lying and was just led by the prosecution to convict the most easy target. They said the case had a spectacular lack of physical evidence and even Libby's testimony was incoherent at best and, yet, Ben was still convicted. The leading theory, though, is that Libby's father, Runner Day, is the actual killer. And while Libby staunchly believes that Ben is the killer, she honestly doesn't know because she was hiding in her mother's closet at the time of the murders and when she heard the murderer start searching the house for her, she jumped out the window and hid until morning. So while she testified that she saw Ben do it, she didn't actually see anything. But she heard everything.

4. What does Patty do for a living, and how is it working out for her? What bad news does Len bring to Patty? Patty runs the family farm. When she married Runner, they took it over from her parents. That was during the boom times and Runner was a little too enthusiastic about it. They ended up taking a loan out from the bank to expand and buy new equipment, thinking that the farm would perform well and they could easily pay it back. But that didn't happen and Runner ended up leaving and now Patty is running the farm alone. Well, she hasn't paid on the loan in three years and her crop doesn't even yield enough to support them and when she does make money from the crops it goes toward the loan but it's just not enough. And the last time Len visited, she had to have an auction and sell off her farming equipment for way less than it was worth and I honestly don't even know how she's running the farm at this point?? Anyway, when Len comes this time, it's to tell Patty that they're foreclosing and she's run out of options.

5. Who is Diondra? Who is Krissi? Diondra is Ben's girlfriend. She's two years older than him (she's 17, he's 15) and rich. Her parents hae another house in Texas and they spend most of their time there so she's left alone a lot and basically does whatever she wants, including not going to school most of the time. And she's who Ben's always talking to on the phone and her house is where he usually goes when he's out. She is basically the biggest influence in his life, at this point, and as soon as he turns 16 and can drive, Ben wants to run away to Wichita (of all places) with her and live in their own apartment and work in her Uncle's sporting goods store. However, there's also Krissi. She's in the grade above Michelle's and has a crush on Ben. He was asked to help with an after school art class one day and he did and that's where he met Krissi. He ended up volunteering to help that art class for another month. Krissi also lives like an hour or so away so she has to wait forever for her dad to pick her up after school so Ben started waiting in the stairwell with her for her dad. Well, one day just before Christmas break, he ended up making out with Krissi.

6. Why does Libby think it’s just as much everyone else’s fault Ben is in jail as it is her fault? Because the entire trial was basically a circus. Libby's testimony was all over the place but the prosecution lawyer led Libby exactly where he wanted her to go and basically convinced her to say Ben was guilty. The defense lawyer treated her like he was walking on egg shells which didn't help Ben in the slightest because all Libby did was defend the prosecution. And then were was Ben himself. He acted like he didn't care at all about the trial and when they asked him about Satanic worship, he just fed right into it. He also wore his long black hair in a ponytail and basically didn't really clean up for court and just looked and acted like a criminal. He didn't try to defend himself at all. The defense lawyer also tried to bring up the evidence that didn't match with Ben but he failed to really make a case and really defend Ben. So while Libby's testimony was the cornerstone of the trial, the entire thing was so poorly handled that it wasn't just Libby's fault Ben was convicted.

7. In what way does Ben act about being in jail when Libby goes to see him? Ben says he's okay with it. It's been almost 25 years and he's made his peace with being in prison. He realizes that a lot of it was his fault because he didn't take the trail seriously enough. He never, ever thought he would be convicted. He thought he would be acquitted and then he'd be more popular at school. But, clearly, that didn't happen. But he also doesn't blame Libby for her testimony and he doesn't think she's the reason he was locked up. He's honestly surprised that anyone believed her because she was seven and so clearly coached. He thinks the fact that anyone believed her just meant that they wanted him locked up and there's nothing he could do about it. And when Libby asks if he wants to get out, he says of course he does but he doesn't see that happening unless they find who really did it. He also says he doesn't have a good alibi for that night so it's not like he really has any ground to stand on if he wanted to appeal. So he's made his peace with being in prison and he's okay with it. It's like he thinks he's making up for not being home to save his family and not being man enough in the first place. But he's glad to see Libby because he really is homesick.

8. Who does Lyle think murdered the Day family and why does he think this? He thinks the Day family was murdered by Lou Cates, Krissi Cates's dad. Apparently the Cates family accused Ben of molesting Krissi and Lyle thinks that Lou came over that night to question Ben about it and went into a rage and just murdered the whole family. Apparently Lou had done time for manslaughter previously. He had a wild temper and finding out someone had hurt his daughter would've definitely set him off. (I don't buy that theory at all though??? The murderer called Libby's name and looked for her. If Lou was looking for Ben and just started murdering, he didn't know any of them and he wouldn't have known to look for Libby. He would've been looking for Ben.)

9. When Libby calls Krissi’s mother, where does she say Lou would be? Where does she say Krissi would be? She says Lou would be in a bar probably somewhere in the state of Kansas (helpful) and to find Krissi just go west on I-70 past Columbia (Missouri, I'm assuming? Since Columbia, Kansas is literally abandoned; also why is Kansas basically just a copy and paste of Missouri with the state name changed???? There are so many towns wITH THE SAME NAME O.O) and take a left into any of the strip clubs. So. Also wildly helpful. (Wow, Krissi's mom. Top job with your first family. You sound like a wonderful human being. Not. *eyeroll*)

  Section One Reading Journal

Okay so. We all know that I hated Gone Girl. But for some reason I, at some point, bought all of Gillian Flynn’s novels. And I even started reading one of the others (I thought it was this one but the first chapter isn’t what I remember reading so apparently it was Sharp Objects) but just never got around to finishing it. But her other novels honestly really do interest me. So all of that being said, I’ve been really excited to read this one and I honestly enjoyed this first section so much?? I really didn’t want to put it down.

I love that this story takes place in Missouri and Kansas. I love that Libby currently lives in Kansas City; that’s one of my absolute favorite cities. And that restaurant where she meets Jim Jeffreys I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten at with my aunts??? (It honestly sounded like it might’ve been Jack Stack.) So. Lots of fun little fangirl moments. (Also why do all of Gillian Flynn’s novels seem to take place in Missouri? That fascinates me so much. Though throwback to when I originally read Gone Girl and was talking to my mom about North Carthage and she was like “it’s just Carthage” and I was like no, it’s the one by St. Louis and she was like “no, it’s by Joplin, on the other side of the state.” So apparently that’s a town Gillian Flynn made up, ahaha.)

ANYWAY, I love that this is a really engaging and well written mystery. I’m definitely feeling more of a connection to it than I ever did to Gone Girl. I already like these characters more. And I didn’t figure out the twist five minutes into reading. (I do already have several theories about the murderer, though.) And basically I’m just all around liking this one more.

Though the only thing that’s really bothering me is that I hate that all of the flashbacks are written in third person but all of the present day Libby is written in first. That feels like a weird transition to me and I hate going from the past to present chapters because of it. I’m a big fan of continuity and that format isn’t it.

Also. Side note. Did we pick this book as the first book written by a popular author? Because this is actually Gillian Flynn’s second. We should’ve read Sharp Objects (which I also really want to read because the show looks AMAZING). So. Uh. Oops. I love that we’re so good at picking things. Throwback to picking Lolita for a classic romance. (Oops.) We are on top of things. Go us!

But all kidding aside, I really am loving this book and I can’t wait to devour the next section!!!! (Watch me not go to bed tonight and just read this entire book. That’s what I almost did last night. *shifty eyes*) Okay back to reading =))

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Week Eight, Part One

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads ‘Masked Omens’.

Image 2 - A page from the Celebrity section of the Capital Herald, dated 13th February 2021. Full image description and transcript below the cut. End ID.]

Read the fic here!

The Capital Herald - Saturday, 13th February 2021 Celebrity section, page 18

Top: “Informants come to me”: Carmine Zugiber on front-line successes Tips, troubles and truths about writing headlines abroad - and now making headlines at home When working in a war zone, most people wear camouflage and try to keep their heads down – but not Carmine Zugiber. The successful war correspondent is one of the most recognisable journalists in the world, and that's even more true after her recent unmasking on The Masked Singer UK. I sat down with her to discuss her work, her brand partnerships, her passions and her fears – if, indeed, she knows the meaning of the word 'fear'. “I don't, really,” she laughs, “people have said that about me ever since I was a little girl. My mother absolutely despaired – she always wanted me to be safe at home playing with my dollies, and there I was climbing trees and falling out of them. I was always in the middle of fights, even then. So I suppose it was only natural that I'd drift towards war reporting.” But not everybody encouraged Zugiber to follow her dreams. “When I told my tutor at uni that I wanted to work on that side of things, he tried pretty hard to steer me back towards something a little safer. The politics beat, or entertainment, or fashion. I've actually been covering politics for the last month or so, as a colleague is on leave, and I have to say, that can feel pretty cut-throat! But I knew I wanted to see the world and get right to the heart of the action, and I'd like to think I've achieved that.” Zugiber has certainly made her mark on the headlines, covering conflicts in countries including Eden and, more recently, Celestan. “I just think it's important to take as unbiased an approach as possible and really tell the stories that are coming out of – well, especially a situation like Celestan. It's a complicated sort of conflict, and you never know how things are going to pan out. And sometimes being a journalist can feel like having a target painted on your back.” And Zugiber's signature red hair must stand out somewhat – does that make her more of a target? “I make it work for me, honestly. Informants come to me of their own accord, which is handy when everybody else is frantically chasing leads! Having done my share of broadcast journalism, people all over the place recognise me and there's a sort of built-in trust. It's flattering, really, and it's just a matter of making sure that trust is justified.” Zugiber has long been an ambassador for the Vibrant brand of hair dye – leading some to question her objectivity as a reporter. “Yes, I've heard that, but unless Vibrant starts a war, I don't think it's an issue. Clearly my editors and the press watchdog agree, because I've had no complaints from on high. And it's a product I genuinely believe in and use all the time, so why not?” Zugiber's most recent departure from the newsroom was even less likely to conflict with her usual work. What drew her to The Masked Singer UK? “I was asked if I wanted to take part in the show at about the same time that a colleague announced that she'd be taking some leave around now, and my editor suggested that I might like to take over her post for a while to get a broader range of experience. It seemed like perfect serendipity. I didn't want to be bored, hanging around in London for months – I'm used to travelling a lot – and the show sounded like a lot of fun. I jumped at the chance to make people smile for a change. Unfortunately, as a war correspondent, that's not something I often get to do.” Zugiber admits that she had mixed feelings as she got on the plane back to the UK. “Oh, yeah, definitely, it was a hard decision. With the situation unfolding in Celestan, which is becoming more complex by the minute, a big part of me felt like I should stay and keep working on the story there. But funnily enough, that story has followed me right into the Politics section, and it's looking increasingly likely that some sort of diplomatic solution might be reached. And the break has been really good for me – I needed to remember how to lighten up and be silly, and The Masked Singer is definitely silly! So ultimately it was the right decision for me.” And now, with The Masked Singer UK behind her, what's next for Carmine Zugiber? “The Masked Singer was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed it. And the response from the audience has been overwhelmingly positive. I loved the secrecy, but it's a relief that the truth is out now! I'll be staying in the UK, covering for Uriel [Scrolle, News World Weekly's Political Correspondent], for a little bit longer, and then in a couple of months I should be back out on assignment. No rest for the wicked!” BOGDAN PIGTON [Image Description: A picture of Carmine Zugiber’s face, in her motorbike helmet, with part of the village of Tadfield visible in the background. End ID.] [Caption] ROCK AND ROLL: Carmine Zugiber, pictured here outside a Labour party campaign meeting in Lower Tadfield, Oxfordshire, often uses her motorbike to keep up with subjects on the move. Her iconic scarlet look has led to her gathering something of a cult appeal among her viewers and readers. Photo: QuiteUnlikely.net

Centre left: ConStellation boots web star Wytchfynder host removed from astrology event Popular YouTuber Sergeant Shadwell was thrown out of the Greater Dyvyn Conference Centre last Sunday after trying to attend ConStellation. ConStellation has been the UK's largest convention for astrologers ever since its foundation in 1994. In 1999, the convention expanded to include practitioners of other divination techniques such as cartomancy (tarot card reading) and tasseomancy (tea leaf reading). The convention has been dogged by controversy throughout its history, with critics claiming that the 'con' of the name stands for more than 'convention'. Sergeant Shadwell, through his Wytchfynder channel, has long been committed to investigating the claims of fortune-tellers and paranormal practitioners such as those who attend ConStellation each year, and in several cases he has denounced claims of psychic ability as completely and demonstrably fraudulent. It is, then, perhaps not surprising that he is completely banned from ConStellation, which according to its website is 'intended as a safe and welcoming place for practitioners and interested parties to share their appreciation for, and knowledge of, the unknowable'. Sergeant Shadwell himself, however, does not seem to have been aware of the blanket ban. Witnesses to the scene on Sunday reported that the YouTuber could be heard arguing with security all the way to the doors of the building. When reached for comment, the organisers of ConStellation issued the following statement: 'A man was removed from the ConStellation event on Sunday morning after attendees expressed concern that he might be attempting to create an 'exposé’ on their work by manipulating footage of the convention. The man in question is known to the convention organisers, and a decision was made to ask him to leave. Calls for the man to be searched for recording devices were not enforced, and the man eventually departed with minimal fuss. The convention otherwise proceeded without incident.' Sergeant Shadwell was not available for comment, but a video on the Wytchfynder channel on Tuesday mentioned the incident in passing. 'All right, I just want to say thanks for all your comments, you don't need to be worrying about me. I did go to a convention this weekend, but not for anything to do with the channel, I was just planning to meet up with a friend. Well. We've been exchanging texts, I thought it might be nice to meet in person. And we did, after the convention, so. Not a total waste. Anyway, about this haunted castle-' Speculation is rife about the identity of Sergeant Shadwell's alleged friend, with some The Masked Singer UK fans pointing out that fellow The Masked Singer contestant Marjorie Potts - better known as TV's Madame Tracy - was one of the key speakers at Sunday's event. Shadwell is far from the first person to be escorted out of the Greater Dyvyn Conference Centre by security; earlier this year, three women were removed from a panel at DivaCon after starting a food fight. Several other attendees had their weekend passes revoked and were allowed to leave under their own power. But whether Sergeant Shadwell was there this weekend to meet a friend or conduct an investigation, it's probably best that he choose another venue; he's unlikely to be welcome at ConStellation any time soon. SCUZZ FISHER

Centre- and lower- right, advertisement: [Image description: A microphone on a stand, against an orange background. A pair of Union Jack printed Converse hi-top shoes cover the lower half of the image. The microphone/background image is credited to Jon Tyson on Unsplash, while the shoe image is credited to Nick Fewings on Unsplash. End ID.] The British Inquisition Book now www.brianthames.co.uk/british-inquisition Brian Thames “Nobody expected this!” [4 stars] The Capital Herald.

Bottom left: Masked Cat out of the bag? Did a Pam & Sam guest let the big secret slip? Did Rose Montgomery really just admit to being the contestant known as Black Cat in the current series of The Masked Singer UK? It seems almost impossible; surely a contestant would be more careful when taking part in a show like Pam & Sam AM. But people do make mistakes, and Pam & Sam does air live. Let's look at the evidence. Appearing on the show to advertise her upcoming show, Notes and Measures – which promises to be part cooking show, part mixology class, and part vineyard tour - the celebrity chef was asked if the rumours surrounding her participation in the competition had any truth to them. “Well, naturally, I can't tell you that,” Montgomery told her hosts with a knowing smile, “there are all sorts of NDAs involved.” I don't want to jump to conclusions, but several of the previous weeks' clues seem to have hinted at Montgomery's involvement. For example, in week five of the competition, Black Cat's clue package included “if they take note of my performance, they'll finally get the true measure of me” (emphasis mine) – while Montgomery's show Notes and Measures was still just a distant speck on the TV scheduling horizon. And in week six, Black Cat was shown on CCTV with a daisy – and Daisy, like Rose, is a popular flower name. Is Rose Montgomery Black Cat? We'll find out tonight. GRESHAM PENDER

[End of transcript]

[thelightningstreak]

In Defense of Fanfiction: A rebuttal to the belief that Chronicles of Narnia is “not fanfiction”

It has come to my attention that an individual (@crnkl, sorry if Tumblr can’t identify the name because there are so many crnkls) thinks my post “In Defense of Fanfiction” is a, in their words, a “load of shite.” They go on to say that “most of those examples aren’t the same as creating new situations for existing intellectual property—the Chronicles of Narnia and other CS Lewis works use biblical themes and character inspirations, but they’re not ‘biblical fanfiction.’”  

I invite crnk or others of the same opinion to defend their belief using sources beyond their opinion. In general, it seems that we are operating under different definitions for the word “fanfiction” itself.

Consider the following definitions of “fanfiction” from various sources:

·        Oxford Dictionary: fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc.

·        Dictionary.com: a fictional account written by a fan of a show, movie, book, or video game to explore themes and ideas that will not or cannot be explored via the originating medium; also written fan fiction, also called fanfic

·        From Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged (2014): (Literary & Literary Critical Terms) fiction written around previously established characters invented by other authors

As we can see, the definition and very characteristics of “what is fanfiction” are slippery to some extent. However, all of these definitions suggest that fanfiction is a derivative work that intentionally borrows elements (especially with regards to character and setting) to further expand upon a pre-existing medium. A recent survey in 2017, “Towards a Definition of Fanfiction,” shows that 88% of responders agree with fanfiction being a derivative work of an original one. (In general, that survey’s an interesting read for many reasons!)

Now, let us apply these definitions to my list. Despite the many examples I provided, I see that crnkl focuses solely on C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia as not being a valid form of fanfiction. I hope that they will consider the following pieces of evidence to support my argument that it aligns with the definition of fanfiction.

C.S. Lewis himself admits the Narnia series is a derivative of the biblical story. Before his death, he wrote in a letter, “I asked myself ‘Supposing that there really was a world like Narnia and supposing it had (like our world) gone wrong and supposing Christ wanted to go into that world and save it (as He did ours), what might have happened?’ The stories are my answers. Since Narnia is a world of Talking Beasts, I thought He would become a Talking Beast there, as He became a man here. I pictured Him becoming a lion there because (a) the lion is supposed to be the king of beasts; (b) Christ is called ‘The Lion of Judah’ in the Bible; (c) I’d been having strange dreams about lions when I began writing the work. The whole series works out like this.

·        The Magician’s Nephew tells the Creation and how evil entered Narnia.

·        The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the Crucifixion and Resurrection.

·        Prince Caspian, restoration of the true religion after corruption.

·        The Horse and His Boy, the calling and conversion of a heathen.

·        The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the spiritual life (especially in Reepicheep).

·        The Silver Chair, the continuing war with the powers of darkness.

·        The Last Battle, the coming of the Antichrist (the Ape), the end of the world and the Last Judgment.”**

(The source for this letter is Narnia Beckons and “Bluspels and Flalansferes: A Semantic Nightmare,” in Selected Literary Essays, Walter Hooper, ed. (London: Cambridge University Press, 1969), 426. Retrieved from: http://www1.cbn.com/books/deeper-truth-behind-chronicles-narnia)

As we can see here, Lewis himself strongly pulled the exact plot and progression of biblical stories, and even descriptions of biblical characters, to flesh out his own plot and characters. He basically wrote an “Alternate Universe” fanfiction of the story of Jesus Christ (a “what if” scenario where the same character is in a different situation/setting). 

As noted by teachers/professors Kelly Bahoric and Elizabeth Swaggerty, “Authors of fanfiction do not simply follow the “blueprint” of the original work; rather, they incorporate elements of canon, such as plot, setting, and characters, and use these elements as a way to create new stories that extend upon the existing universe (Black, 2009b; Thomas, 2006).” In addition, they note, “Fanfiction with elements from multiple source materials can be more aptly called alternate universe fic, or AU fic. AU fic takes the characters from a particular work and places them in a different time and/or setting.” 

This is entirely what C.S. Lewis has done with the biblical character of Jesus Christ, as well as with several other Narnia characters that parallel the behaviors of biblical characters, including even biblical and various mythological references to talking/anthropomorphized animals. Critic Austin Cline, in his article “C.S. Lewis and Christian Allegory,” goes into further detail about many biblical parallels (article in the Sources section of this post). However, he also notes, “The problem is, Lewis either wasn’t capable of or didn’t think highly of subtlety. The Christian allusions in the books come on fast and strong, with little apparent effort to construct a story that might exist independently of the religious references.”  (Emphasis mine.) 

Regarding the setting of Narnia itself—Lewis took the name of “Narnia” from a real city in Italy (now called Narni), which was known as Narnia during medieval times (Brockhaus). He therefore did not create the name himself, nor is it a surprise that Narnia is full of medieval-style culture, hierarchy, and clothing, given the medieval history of the real city. Various features of the city and its roads also appear in the setting of the fantasy world Narnia, with a statement  from Lewis’s personal secretary, Walter Hooper, that Lewis made these connections intentionally after being gifted an old Latin atlas that included the city of Narnia (Brockhaus). 

But what about other more “original” factors in the books, like the adorable character of Lucy who does not have quite the biblical overtones of say, Peter or Edmund (who acts like Judas)? C.S. Lewis was inspired by one of the inhabitants of the real town of Narni—Lucy Brocadelli of Narni, who was known as a very religious child and deeply in tune with the spiritual (Brockhaus). Lucy Pevensie is little more than a fanfiction of that very saint.

All of this is to say that typically, the more “original” a story sounds, the more hidden or unknown its inspirations are. C.S. Lewis directly lifted a wide variety of pre-existing material, both in setting and with characters, to create the hodgepodge that became Chronicles of Narnia.

For all of the above reasons, Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia series therefore qualifies as derivative work, or fanfiction. Although I might perhaps revise my statement that it is biblical fanfiction--it is that as well as a curious nod to other forms of fanfiction (including real person fanfiction). 

Sources:

Bahoric, K., and Swaggerty, E. Fanfiction: Exploring In- and Out-of-School Literary Practices. Colorado Reading Journal (November 4, 2015). Retrieved from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280531703_Fanfiction_Exploring_in-_and_out-of-school_literacy_practices. Accessed March 3, 2018.

Brockhaus, Hannah. Here’s the Real-Life Catholic Village that Inspired CS Lewis’s ‘Narnia.’ Catholic Online (December 29, 2017). Retrieved from: http://www.catholic.org/news/international/europe/story.php?id=76623. Accessed March 3, 2018.  

CBN. The Deeper Truth Behind the Chronicles of Narnia. Movieguide Magazine. Retrieved from: http://www1.cbn.com/books/deeper-truth-behind-chronicles-narnia. Accessed March 3, 2018.  

Cline, A. C.S. Lewis and Christian Allegory. ThoughtCo (March 8, 2017). Retrieved from: https://www.thoughtco.com/c-s-lewis-and-christian-allegory-249779. Accessed March 3, 2018.  

Klink, F. Towards a Definition of Fanfiction. Medium (May 30, 2017). Retrieved from: https://medium.com/fansplaining/towards-a-definition-of-fanfiction-178d4c681289. Accessed March 3, 2018.  

Williams, R. Why Did C.S. Lewis Write Narnia? Publishers Weekly (March 8, 2013). Retrieved from: https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/tip-sheet/article/56256-why-did-c-s-lewis-write-narnia.html. Accessed March 3, 2018.  

[aparecium-hq]

Welcome once more to Aparecium, Beth! You have been accepted for Raphael Selwyn. I have a hard time complimenting myself in the third person, so here’s Kat’s words instead. “I love that like he has all these crossroads that he's coming to in his life and so many choices he has to make. I am excited to see him on the dash.” I’ll check out the new member checklist, and jump right in.

Character Basics

Birthday (Age): January 8, 2002 (25) Gender (Pronouns): Cis Male (He/Him) Sexuality: Bisexual Blood Status: Pureblood Hogwarts House/School: Ravenclaw Occupation: Journalist at The Daily Prophet Faceclaim: Sean Teale

Any requested changes? Nope!

Biography:

Raphael Selwyn grew up not coming up with his own goals and ambitions but hearing what his would be. He grew up hearing about how important it was to be Sacred Twenty-Eight, how he was part of an important dwindling group who had always had power in the magical world. The Selwyn Legacy was a phrase Raphael heard over and over again growing up. When Raphael reached Hogwarts, he found a few of people who also felt that way, but that opinion was far from majority. Raphael realized his family was not part of some ruling class but rather an elitist group who nothing much to their names but their names. His legacy was an imprisoned uncle who was a known Death Eater and a father running a paper that Raphael grew to realize was not everyone’s first choice, as he’d always heard growing up.

But what was that information supposed to change? Raphael still had family expectations to follow. Even the discovery of the Madley Principles of Magic and Technology at the beginning of his sixth year didn’t change anything. Raphael could discover and enjoy as much muggle stuff as he wanted after graduation, but he also had to follow through on the Selwyn Legacy. Their family had controlled The Daily Prophet for generations now, and Raphael was the only one left to continue that legacy–something his father was quick to remind him of when he learned Raphael was dating a halfblood wizard at graduation. Under his father’s pressure, Raphael ended the relationship. He had a legacy to think about, after all.

Raphael would have readily admitted that journalism wasn’t his greatest passion. Perhaps because his father sensed that, when Raphael eventually became an editor, he was put in change of the Lifestyle section of the paper. While it was theoretically a section about keeping up with announcements in the lives of wix, there were only so many marriages and deaths to report in a month, and with daily news requirements, Raphael wasn’t proud to admit his department was almost purely puff pieces and unconfirmed scandal. He didn’t like it, but he also had no ideas about how to fix it. Raphael figured that was just part of his lot in life.

Then Matilda Nott became part of his life. Raphael couldn’t say he knew her well. They had been a couple years apart and in different houses at Hogwarts, and aside from social obligations related to pureblood society, Raphael wasn’t sure he’d ever talked to her much. When his father told him that he was to ask Matilda to marry her, Raphael thought it was a joke. Last he’d heard, Matilda had a girlfriend. Would she even want to marry him? As far as he could guess, she must have received the same lecture he had about carrying on a pureblood legacy because Matilda surprised him. She said yes.

Raphael is trying to learn to love her. His father wanted to push a quick engagement, but Raphael dragged his feet. He pushed back, maybe for the first time in his life, insisting that if they were going to get married, they at least needed time to get to know each other. Matilda is a perfectly lovely woman, but Raphael is having a hard time convincing himself she’s the wix for him. At this point, it feels like something that will become true for his life, whether he can convince himself or not. Raphael has never pursued his own passions. Why would love be the exception?

Character Questionnaire

How does your character feel about their family?

The Selwyn Legacy’s importance has been driven into Raphael’s head his whole life. His mother had been born Miranda Flint, and while the Flint family name was an important part of his heritage, it was merely a stepping stone toward continuing the Selwyn family as far as Fedele Selwyn was concerned. Raphael knows his father must have mourned Miranda when she died in an explosion caused by homemade floo powder, but Raphael rarely saw him in the time after. The only reason he knows his father put much effort in was because of Prophet archives he later found which showed his father ran a long series of articles listing the dangers of homemade floo powder and another series unsuccessfully advocating to have Runespoor fangs reclassified as a dangerous and restricted trade item.

Raphael was ten when his mother died, and he didn’t truly get his father back until the end of his first year at Hogwarts, at which point his father dove back in full force on the importance of family legacy and Raphael’s place in it. It shouldn’t have surprised him then when his eventually engagement to Matilda was arranged. Raphael is trying to focus on that idea of legacy. If he doesn’t follow his father’s wishes, his family life is gone in his father’s eyes. Even if Raphael marries someone not Sacred 28, even if he has children or adopts them in that circumstance, it won’t be enough in his father’s eyes. It’s not about the Selwyn name, It’s about the pureblood legacy. Raphael is just a piece of that, and he’s always known it.

What does your character value in a friendship?

Raphael doesn’t have a lot of close friends. He’s always held people at a distance. He doesn’t particularly like most of the Sacred Twenty-eight purebloods left because he thinks most of them are too stuck up. He suspects most would say that about him too. Raphael does have some friends, but he has a tendency to hold people at a distance. It takes a lot of loyalty, time, and trust to get close to him.

How would your character describe their own work ethic? Is that an accurate measure of themself?

Raphael believes himself to be determined, competent, and detail-oriented. This is true when he really cares about something, but he doesn’t have enough passion in his work for it to always be true then. People come to him with just about any story, and he’s willing to print it if it seems like it’ll sell copies. He’s not necessarily the best fact-checker as an editor, but Raphael figures if his father cared about The Prophet keeping a more meticulous reputation, something would have been done by now.

How would a stranger who has just met your character describe them?

Depending on the circumstances, Raphael is likely to come off as either arrogant or uptight. He tries to be cordial and polite, but when he’s feeling apathetic about the meeting, he’s not great at hiding it.

What magical skill or talent is your character most proud of?

In school, Raphael did well in many classes, but the class he enjoyed most was Herbology. In the years since leaving Hogwarts, he has continued to maintain a diverse greenhouse full of magical plants. Raphael keeps it as an amateur only, but he does sell potions ingredients on the side to a few acquaintances, and that feels good. Some days Raphael wonders if he could do that for a living, but a Selwyn making a living off plants would never be seen as dignified in pureblood society.

Para Sample

Raphael sighed and leaned back in his chair, hands coming up to press against his eyes. Any day where Lily Potter came in to lecture him was an entertaining one but a long one. She’d set back his to-do list for the day back by a solid hour. Any normal day Raphael would have left already, but today wasn’t normal. Things got worse when the phone on his desk rang. He didn’t even want a phone.

“Hello, this is Raphael Selwyn speaking,” Raphael said as he picked it up. Immediately a series of yells came through on the other side. “I’m sorry, Mr. Buchanan. Yes, I understand why it would frustrate you to see a story like that, but I’m afraid we can’t issue a correction of something we printed clear pictures for.” Maybe if his wife hadn’t wanted her affair plastered in the papers, she shouldn’t have been seen kissing her lover in public.

Raphael mostly tuned out the man on the other end as he went on, but eventually he managed to pull himself away from the phone call. As he hung up, Raphael sighed. Maybe he hadn’t quite finished his work for the day, but he was done. Raphael stood and put his cloak back on. He could practically hear his chair calling out to him from home.

[shazyloren]

The Dragon Club: Chapter 40 - Offices and Encounters

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12018519/chapters/28252617

-----------

Jon flicked the lights on to his brand new office. Small, but still had enough space for the two desks he'd had installed for him and his new apprentice Alys Karstark. She had given him some of her work on the female orgasm and while he had found it weird she'd chose to write on that in particular, her writing style was everything he was looking for on his sight. She gave balanced arguments, she gave correct facts but the emotion was there too. So now here they were, both of them looking at the light and white space which held potential.

"Let's get started then" Alys excited spoke as she went to her desk by the window, it was ten stories up in the office building and the view was quite magnificent. Jon could see Valyrian from the window, the tallest building in the skyline. Alys plonked her bag on the desk before plodding to the small kitchen at the back of the office. She shouted to Jon through the door. "Do you want a coffee, Mr. Snow?"

"Please, two sugars and a small amount of milk" Jon replied as he switched his own computer on. He had a bookshelf on the spare wall installed, 6ft across and floor to ceiling length which held books upon books upon books. There was fiction, non-fiction, feminism books, animal books, ones on politics and ones on writing.

Jon loved reading a book, and even thought he was only paying the apprentice three hundred dollars per week as a starting wage (she was only seventeen), he said she could take any of the books home for extra reading if needs be. He glanced at the clock, ten. They would usually be doing nine to five but as he had some errands to do (get a second key made so she could get in and out on weekends if she wanted to write) they were starting at ten.

"The water tastes decent, I'm surprised" Alys said as she returned with two coffees, putting Jon's down on his placemat. He had a photo frame of his family he'd put on his desk and one of him and Daenerys dancing at Arya' wedding. There was also one of Lyanna his niece. Alys had put a photo down of her and her cat, which Jon thought was the grumpiest cat he'd ever seen. "So, what's first on the agenda"

She booted up her computer too. "Well, I'm going to make an announcement on my site of a new writer. Then we're going to work on your first piece together. I know you're more than capable but I think we need to make the right impression and with a stand out first piece for you on the site, you'll get welcomed very quickly. but of course, we need to agree on what it is you want to write about. There's several stories I've picked up on that need addressing"

"You said you wanted to cover the election?" She asked.

"Yes, but I've not formed enough of an opinion on each candidate to start that yet. There is some more pushing concerns such as the sexual assault allegations against that hollywood producer, the WWF's new partnership with Valyrian, the education levels of animal welfare in schools, many things. But I want you to choose, let it be something you're passionate about seeing a change to"

"Okay, while you're making the announcement, I'll get to researching" She nodded in happiness and began by taking some books of the shelf before opening google chrome and diving head first in whatever it was she wanted to cover. Jon opened up his site and opened a new section on his announcement page. After half an hour it was posted.

Date: Monday 12th June 2017

Time: 10:39 AM.

Announcement: It is with my greatest pleasure that I can announce that the wolf online has a new writer! Alys Karstark is an apprentice writer who wants to go into Journalism. She will be covering subject we've already touched on here and new ones that have never been explored before. Her first written work will be posted by the end of the week. Welcome Alys!

Jon nodded before he got to answering some emails before her began helping Alys with her first piece. They bounced ideas back and forth before they realised it was five to five, and Daenerys would be meeting him here with Jorah to go to dinner afterwards. Saving their works on the computers and shutting them down, they locked up and made their way to the elevator together. "Good first day, you hit some real good points today. You've got a lot of potential"

"Thank you Mr. Snow" She blushed a little in embarrassment.

"Please, call me Jon" He laughed. She muttered a small okay before they reached the bottom of the lift. When it opened, Daenerys was stood at the bottom waiting with Jorah lurking a few feet back. Jon grinned and almost skipped to her. "Hello, my fiery dragon"

"Hello, stupid wolf" She grinned. Jon rolled his eyes. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Yes, sorry, where are my manners!" Jon fumbled a bit and found that he was the one blushing. "This is Alys Karstark, my new apprentice"

"Pleasure to meet you, Alys" Daenerys held a hand out to shake. Alys' eyes went wide. She shook her hand a bit too enthusiastically. "Do you need a lift home?"

"Oh that's okay, I just got my first car. Thank you for the offer though, I appreciated it!" She held onto her handbag a bit tighter before excusing herself. "Good evening, Mr. Snow. I'll see you tomorrow" Jon raised an eyebrow at her. "Jon, Sorry"

She walked off leaving the three of them. "She seems nice"

"She is actually. And she seems to actually want to do some good in the world rather than just go through the motions of life. Her writing is excellent, almost better than mine I'd say" Jon smirked as Jorah came over to them. "Evening Jorah"

"Good evening, Jon" He nodded. "Are we ready, the car is expensive and I don't want it being stolen"

Daenerys shook her head as Jon offered his arm for her to take. She does. The three walk out of the building and turn left towards the Rolls royce. It's a beautiful evening, the sun is still bright in the sky meaning the temperature is still warmer than most days during spring. They laughed as Jorah recounted the story of his niece painting him as a fairy and giving him in, before suddenly, Jorah froze.

"What is it?" Jon hissed. Daenerys gasped. They turned to see a woman stood a few feet from where they were. She had her hands up as if to say she did not mean any harm, that she just wanted to talk. Instinctively, Daenerys hid behind Jon.

"Miss. Qaath" Jorah spoke at an even tone.

"I- I'm not here to s-shout" She said shakily. Her hair was greasy , her skin sallow and her eyes were dull. She was wearing grey sweatpants and a white tee with a black leather jacket and trainers. She wasn't doing well, as you would expect someone who lost a child. "I promise"

"You also promised to leave Miss. Targaryen alone, you don't seem to be honouring that promise" Jorah replies. He didn't reach for his gun, but he flexed, showing it to her. Jon felt the energy in his body drain at the situation before him. What was going to happen? He did not know.

"I just want to talk" she said, not moving a muscle from her spot.

"Then do it and be on your way" Jorah snapped.

"I-I saw the article, I saw you admit what you failed to do for me and my child" She said shakily. "My little Rose suffered and you didn't do anything to help, but I see now, I see that it was not your... child. It was not your responsibility and I was looking for someone to blame" Daenerys came out from behind Jon a little, to see her properly. Jon felt her hold onto him tightly however. "I've been... consumed with grief... and I've let it get the better of me, and I'm sorry"

"Sorry?" Jorah asked incredulously. "You attacked Miss. Targaryen in her own office!"

"I know" She looked at the floor.

"Did you send the message?" Jon asked, wanting more information.

"Message?" She said confused.

"We received a message demanding Jon stay away from Daenerys, a threat. We thought it may be you" Jorah sniffed.

She wracked her brain, she looked like she was having a hard time thinking. "I don't know of a message, I don't know many things these days"

"Why are you really here?" Daenerys asked. "And how did you know I was here more importantly"

"I've been following you" She said sadly. "Not all the time, just whenever I feel the anger again, i'd wait outside your apartment and see if you'd show, if you looked happy. I'd cry every time you looked happy, annoyed I wasn't" She breathed in deeply. "And then, I found out something, perhaps it's karma for being horrendous to you"

"What is it?"

"I'm dying, a tumour, same as Rose, both beyond treatment" The air was silent. Jon felt his breath be sucked out of his lungs. He heard Daenerys gasp and even Jorah's stance shook a little. "I had a scan... lit up like a christmas tree. I won't be on this earth long, I'll be with my little Rose soon. I just had to make peace, for my own peace"

"Doreah, I- I don't know what to say" Daenerys' voice was shaky.

"Don't say anything, it's better this way" She sighed. "I do have a parting gift for you - information"

"Information?" Jon furrowed his brow.

"A man approached me and asked for my service, he wanted me to spy on you. I don't know what he looked like, he kept a hood up while he spoke. But you say you received a message of warning, it's probably him. Just thought you should know" She said as she began to walk away. "Goodbye, Daenerys. I'll see you in the afterlife"

If there is one, Jon thought.

[dearyallfrommatt]

Alt-weeklies are dead. Blogs are dead. Bootlickers and the civility police won.

 The above story from The New Republic written by Alex Pareene was brought to my Twitter world by Radley Balko, superlative journalist and maybe the only self-described libertarian I’d let thrive after the Purge. In short, it discusses the recent emasculation of Deadspin and how it’s indicative of the death of the “rude press”. That is, the elimination of smaller, shall we say less respectful outlets like Splinter and Gawker, publications that would stick their fingers into they eyes of the rich and the very much richer.

 And it’s not just those web-based publications’ deaths that article warns of. It’s the slow extinction of the alt-weekly or alt-monthly, all to be replaced by boutique publications that won’t be so gauche as to upset their betters. In other words, they’ll be “civil” because “civility” might be the most important thing we’re missing in this cold, cruel world.

 The first writing gig I got out of college was at an alt-monthly and the only “regular job” I’ve ever had was with an alt-weekly, so I might be a bit biased on this matter. Twenty-some-odd years ago in Gainesville, FL, a pair of cats named Colin Whitworth and Mike Podalsky started MOON Magazine, maybe the altest alternative magazine that wasn’t a ‘zine that I’ve ever seen. I mostly wrote about music and Gainesville being what it was, there wasn’t much sticking-in-the-eye that needed doing.

 Though I do remember them pissing of a real estate guy so badly he started his own “alt-monthly” in competition. It lasted one issue as I recall. Every afternoon at 4:20, we'd have a “staff meeting” and the magazine run pieces from severely left-wing sources going after the destruction of the Everglades or the dangers of the Cassini probe. It was that kind of magazine.

 After I left Gainesville for Athens, I took up with Flagpole Magazine, a music/news/arts weekly in Michael Stipe’s hometown. Athens is a different town and publisher Pete McCommons was a different breed. An old school newspaper man contrasted to Mike and Colin’s “young upstarts”, Flagpole was a gentler poke that nevertheless contrasted well with the bought-and-owned-by-the-chamber-of-commerce local daily, The Athens Banner-Herald. He still gave a lot of room to his staff to go nuts, notably my direct editor Ballard Lesemann.

 When I left college in 1997, I had already worked in actual, for real newspapers for almost a decade. Furthermore, I’d grown my hair long and discovered Hunter Thompson, so I was by no means inclined to go back to covering school board meetings for some small town weekly. MOON went the way of the dodo sometime in 2001, and though I left in 2002, Flagpole’s still kicking.

 I rarely made anything close to a living at writing, but I’m thankful of my time with the alts and grateful to Colin, Mike, Pete and Ballard for letting me share the ride with them and have a little fun. So, again, grain of salt. One thing working on alternatives taught me was that “complete objectivity” was not only impossible but unnecessary so long as your cards are on the table, so I ain’t going to put no shuck on you.

 Now, I won’t summarize or really explore what the above-linked New Republic piece goes into. I highly recommend it be read and considered with much gravity. Even if you don’t agree with its conclusions - or even the need for the existence of “rude journalism” - do study on what it suggests. Do we really want a world where the extremely rich, either as individuals or as a group, can shut down publications that don’t show proper fealty and people who’re willing to tell the Boss Man to take this job and shove it?

 The responses to Radley’s retweet and others I’ve seen elsewhere are telling indeed, though. While there are plenty of sympathetic voices, not a few folks are saying “well, good, fuck ‘em”. There is a negative view of journalists, but if anyone suggests that it’s caused by recent events in the business are lying or stupid or ignorant or all three. For as long as there have been rich dudes willing to start wars for more wealth, there have been plenty of poor bastards willing to die for them. Nowadays, we have folks willing to pay Major League Baseball for what they used to get for free, and not even blink an eye.

 A lot of it’s political. Right-wing media doesn’t have the same problems in getting funding because, well, most rich people are quite fine with the nuts and bolts of conservative thought. The economic side, anyway, which spells less taxes or regulation; the social side, they have enough pull to not have to worry about anyone griping unless they piss off someone higher up the ladder.

 Which is extremely amusing, since these are the same folks who stay constantly stricken with the vapors about how much money Hillary Clinton (or Elizabeth Warren or Barrack Obama or Bernie Sanders or fill-in-the-blank-here) bring home. The “common people”, they’re saying, don’t need hoity-toity nerds who can string sentences together and count without taking off their shoes telling us that they’re favorite rich guy needs a kick in the nuts for being the type of bastard that needs kicking in the nuts on a regular basis. The hooting baboons that support digital frat houses like Barstool are happy to stick it to those PC creeps, man, rebelling in that way that hurts the actual elite not one tiny bit.

 They also hate the corporate media and social media sites, which they will tell you endlessly in the comments sections of corporate medias’ pages on social media while FOX and CNN have a special on it every other week. They hate “political correctness” trying to tell them that the “natural order” isn’t just boozy white dudes watching the Pats and gorging on chicken wings, making  cracks about the opposing quarterback being homosexual or making “hey-it’s-just-a-joke” jokes about Serena Williams or some WNBA playing being a “man, baby”.

 There is most definitely a place for big mainstream news sources like CNN or The New York Times or TIME Magazine. A professor of my in journalism school used to repeat the quote, paraphrased from memory, that “journalism is the first rough draft of history”. Despite what the right wing has been screaming for years, whoever the president is, the big papers are rarely out for his blood. Once you become president, you are a “Washington insider” and all the corporate media really cares about is making money. 

 Whatever he says about the “Washington Swamp” and “fake news”, Donald Trump’s been part of that world, as is every Washington politician or media figure. FOX News is the mainstream media and the Washington Examiner has plenty of backing to keep that so. Who funds The Federalist? That publication has its place but that question must be asked. To do otherwise is to tell the powerful that you’re just fine with them running things, thank you very much.

 But there needs to be a place for a small, scrappy paper speaking for the weird and shat-upon, flicking the earlobe of the rich and powerful and running ads for weekly drag shows. The dirtbag center - that’s what I’m calling the tedious middle-class bourgeoisie spawn that all voted for Trump because they hated Hillary but don’t want to admit it and were shocked as the rest of us, deal with it - wants to be kept fat and saucy while their kids joke about “learning to code” and they all grind themselves down in a miserable existence. Sticking it to the media and the elite, man, all up in the “intellectual dark web,” man, just like Peter Thiel or Bari Weiss, man.

 This is one of those things that shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does, because these people are that guy who started a one-run magazine to get back at Colin and Mike for saying hurtful things about them being crooked. In America, at least, there has always, always been a group of people who will kick down for the benefit of their upper-class betters and do it with a smile on their faces. It’s why dumbass country boys went to die for slavery and why thick-necked hardhats smashed picket lines and assassinated union leaders.

 Like the story notes, we all thought that blogs would be the new hotness, but that lasted just long enough for Google to deciding that “do no evil” was bad for the bottom line. People, especially wingnuts, boo-hoo about Facebook or Twitter without acknowledging or even recognizing that Mark Zuckerberg is a greedy little shit and Jack Dorsey is quite comfortable with cosplaying Nazis. Thanks to Ajit Pai’s bought-and-sold ass, Net Neutrality - about the only thing that keeps the internet from being anything other than a glorified Want Ads - is going to be that much harder to make reality.

A lot of this goes back to the “civility” thing, or lack thereof, NYT columnists bemoan whenever they get caught out being a dipstick. We’re too mean to each other, they say, we don’t know how to respect each other, they say. Rich people know how to run things better than the hoi polloi, so do sit down and be quiet like nice children. Or else. 

 Because here’s the thing, friends and neighbors: the rich, I mean really rich class in this country do not give a solid gold shit about you apart from how much more money they can squeeze out. Suck up to Elon Musk all you want and bemoan Bill Gates having to pay so much in taxes that he’s still a billionaire afterwards all you want. They are not going to let you on the space ship with them once they’re done fouling the waters and scouring the land.

 You can cheer the death of Deadspin all you want, hoot at the firings of journalist who say bad things about Trump or the cops or Tom Brady, and general be gleeful that the media all should “learn to code” to your heart’s content. Because it won’t end there. Conglomerations are already scooping up weekly and small town dailies, shuttering the superfluous and give everyone the same story in the same tone while kissing the proper butts.

 In the end, we need an antagonistic press. We need someone willing to piss off the deep pockets and old families and moneyed interests. We need someone that’ll give a voice to left-handed, bisexual, transvestite furries who love swing dancing. Or even just a little time, a slice of acknowledgement that the world isn’t just boozy obnoxious white dudes on barstools or bitter wine moms sniping on Facebook. You can cheer the downfall of such, but all you’re doing is putting the noose around your own throat and saving the Powers That Be a little time.

 You may not want to rock the boat, friends and neighbors, but have no illusions. When the rubber hits the road, the Wealthy Elite will throw you over. Don’t make it easier for them.

[rebelthroughreading-blog]

Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

High school teachers can be too demanding, especially Mr. Griffin. Fed up with him, a group of kids plan a kidnapping prank, but everything goes wrong when Mr. Griffin winds up dead.

Quick Information

price: $9.00

number of pages: 272

ISBN: 978-0316099004

publisher and date: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers; Revised edition 2010

author’s website: https://loisduncan.arquettes.com

genre: juvenile fiction, mystery

main subjects: mystery and detective stories

Plot

After another hard day with Mr. Griffin, the strictest teacher at their high school, a couple of students plan to scare their teacher into being more forgiving to their students. With Mark Kenney in the lead, they plan to kidnap and frighten Mr. Griffin, then return him to the safety of his normal life with something to make him second guess being so mean to students. However, in order to make this work, they need a few more people, so they enlist Susan, a smart but lonely girl with a huge crush on the senior class president who also agreed to be in on the prank. With all of them set with their roles, some perhaps a bit more reluctant than others, they kidnap Mr. Griffin, but their plan goes south when something happens, and when they go back to check on their teacher who should be just fine, he is dead. The kids have to figure out what to do with their prank gone awry.

Who’s reading it?

Written on a 9th grade level, ages from 12 and up may be interested in the content of the book.

Why did I read it?

In all reality, I was a middle school student scanning the shelves of my school library for my next book to read when I came across Killing Mr. Griffin, written by the same author who wrote I Know What You Did Last Summer and Gallows Hill. Though I admit that I do not remember much of the latter, the former had intrigued me enough to keep reading more of Duncan’s works. The cover of Killing Mr. Griffin at the time that I read it was not the modern one with the noose behind the large and eerie words but two feet tied up in a way only a man laying on the ground could be. The picture was in black and white, almost a sepia color, and the title had a green stripe behind it. The cover was striking, especially when considering that I found it in my middle school library. At the time, I did not read the backs of books, plots, summaries, or even first pages or chapters to determine whether or not I wanted to read a book. I just read them. If only we could be as unprejudiced as we were when we were children. However, since then, I have reread the book, not only because it made such a good impression on me when I first read it, but also because it had a story that was appealing even after so many years. A couple of kids get mad at their teacher for being so mean and grading so harshly so they decide to do what they think is a harmless prank: blind fold and tie him up, smack him around a little, and leave him in the dark and cold for a couple of hours until he breaks and then let him go. But that does not happen, and these children have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Evaluation

This novel shows how good, honest people can be roped into doing terrible things. Susan is a straight-A student, sweet, always the good girl, and she agrees to participate in an outrageous plan because the boy on which she has a crush asks her to and her part is only doing something that she would already do. All she has to do is keep Mr. Griffin after school long enough for the rest of the students and staff to leave so that the other kids can do the kidnapping. She feels as though she is finally part of a group, has friends, and will maybe start to turn her life around to a happier and more positive way other than just doing well on tests and assignments. She does not want to go through with this plan, regrets it before, while, and after she has done it, and tries her hardest to set what they did right. 

The novel also switches between several perspectives, showing the different reactions to the same situation and getting a more complete story. Though the novel mainly focuses on Susan and David, the readers have the chance to see some of the workings to the other characters so that they better understand their actions.

The story is also a cautionary tale that describes what can happen when things get out of control. This is a worst case scenario from a plan that can only have bad endings. The characters have their own motives and views on what this prank is supposed to be, and none of them quite understand the gravity of their situation until it drops on them with full force.

The Issues

Violence / Murder by Minors

Mental illness

Manipulation

Teenagers kidnap, torture, and inadvertently kill their teacher. They leave him in the cold and away from his medicine that he needs for his heart condition. Though they may not have meant to cause his death, they did mean to kidnap and scare him. Their actions were purposeful and in some cases malicious.

The leader of their group is Mark Kenney who has a personality disorder, psychopathy, where he is charismatic and fully capable of manipulating others into doing exactly what he wanted. He makes the other teenagers want to commit this crime by calling it a prank with a motive that has their best interests in mind. He tells them what they want to hear, because he knows what will make them do what he needs.

So why should we read it?

The novel shows different perspectives of the same situation. Not many novels get into the heads of characters who are not the immediate main characters of a story, and yet this one does with the purpose of allowing the readers a fuller view of not only what happened and why but how it is affecting everyone, not just those main people. The readers see the teacher and his wife for a brief moment before the attack so that they can better understand the teacher’s personality and motives as well as the wife’s when she comes back into the story later. David’s grandmother gets a section to describe her feelings about the situation, and how she misinterpreted her grandson’s actions. We see Susan, David, Mark, Betsy, and Jeff - and occasionally their parents - which shows a whole different side to the story that the audience may never have considered had the story been left to only be in one point of view. 

How can we use it?

All of these extra points of view help readers relate to what is happening. They need to see how actions affect everyone, not just them or those immediately around them. They need to see that doing something that they may not see as a big deal can become a big deal. This book does a great job at showing how skewed perceptions can be, especially by those of young adults who are still at an impressionable age. They are learning to understand when they are being manipulated, when they are wrong, when they are right, and when they should trust themselves and people who are trustworthy. They also need to learn that sometimes they cannot do anything to stop what has already happened. These children were manipulated by someone who fed them lies of comfort and reassurances to keep them going, but they could not have known the extent of what they were doing. Do we excuse their behavior? No. They still participated in the kidnapping of their teacher which led to his eventual death, but they were coerced and heavily guided by a strong force. Sometimes people are led astray, and they have to figure out how to fix the wrongs before they become worse. 

Booktalk Ideas

Mark successfully manipulates several other teenagers into doing exactly what he wants. He talks them into believing that this is what Mr. Griffin needs and deserves. He justifies the actions, tells them plans for if something goes wrong, and makes them believe that he will take care of any issues. How is he able to do all of this so well, even with people he barely knows? Is it his psychopathy that allows him to understand and read other people so well?

Susan does not fit in with the crowd. She is a smart girl who keeps to herself and does not do anything that could be considered wrong or rebellious. The only reason she agrees to the plan is because David asks her and she has a crush on him. However, she is hesitant to say yes even then. Can extreme feelings such as having a crush makes someone’s judgement that blurred? Why is she so easily swayed? 

What else can I read?

We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier

I Know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan

Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher

Awards and Lists

ALA Best Book for Young Adults--l976

Massachusetts Children's Book Award--l982

Alabama Young Readers Choice Award--l982-83 86-87

Nominated for California Young Readers Award--l982

Selected for Librarians Best Book List, England--l986

New York Times "Best Book for Children"--l988

NBC Movie of the Week -- 1997

Nominated for Edgar Allan Poe Award

Professional Review

Teri S. Lesesne, G. Kylene Beers, and Lois Buckman (1996), Journal of Adolescent & Adult Literacy - https://www-jstor-org.libaccess.sjlibrary.org/stable/40013439?seq=2#metadata_info_tab_contents

[littlemissnack]

The Next Generation Part 3 Chapter 7

The story of Albus Potter, Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy, and the countless adventure’s they get into in there years at Hogwarts.

To start reading from the beginning click here: http://littlemissnack.tumblr.com/tagged/fanfiction

Here is the fanfiction link if you would prefer to read it on there: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9303697/1/The-Next-Generation

And Liveluvcreate:  http://www.liveluvcreate.com/fanfiction/book/the_next_generation-732.html

And AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/807773

And Wordpress: www.littlemissnack.wordpress.com

Or if you prefer to read it on here, here you go:

Thalia barely slept that night as she anxiously awaited to hear what Rose had found and discuss  the weird dream with there rest of the group. It felt like she had been lying in bed starting at the top of her canopy for 5 minutes when Gwendolyn, Amelie and Rose started to wake up. Rose and Thalia were able to intercept Scorpius & Albus on their way to breakfast to let them know about the emergency meeting in the library before class, but they had to wait until breakfast when Sienna came to sit with them to tell her the plan. Despite it being against the rules for someone to sit anywhere other than their house table, Sienna had taken to sitting at the Gryffindor table to avoid hassle from the Slytherins. Surprisingly though none of the teachers had tried to stop her. Rose had stated her belief that the teachers wanted to encourage inter-house unity but had not been able to get anyone to do it before. Whatever the reason Sienna enjoyed being able to break the rules without getting in trouble. The first week after it had stated happening people whispered and stared constantly as Sienna was the highest topic of gossip but as the gossip began to change people forgot all about Sienna Vane’s rule breaking. When breakfast had finally ended and they had all settled into the library Thalia immediately rushed into recapping her dream, desperate to talk about it with someone.

“She’s forming and army of muggles, muggle-borns and blood traitors?” Scorpius tried to wrap his head around.

“She said ‘anyone who doubts’” Thalia recapped. Scorpius’ eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“She’s looking for people who doubt wizards. That’s what they all have in common. After the second wizarding war, many muggle-borns, half-bloods, blood traitors where killed because pure blooded wizards believed in the sanctity of their magic. The muggle-borns, half-bloods blood traitors they have every reason not to trust wizards anymore and for whatever reason she’s playing on that to recruit them.” Rose theorised. Everyone sat there in stunned silence for a moment before Albus dared to speak.

“But what does she want with them?” Albus asked. Rose smiled slightly as she reached into her satchel.

“That I may be able to answer.” Rose pulled out a heavy dusty book and placed it on the table and leant towards it, pointing to the cover which read ‘A history of Squibs & Muggleborns’ “I found this in tomes and scrolls. It’s no wonder we’ve never found anything about the mist woman we’ve been looking in all the wrong sections!” Rose explained flicking through the book until she came to the page she’d bookmarked and turned it to face her friends. On the page was a large picture of a woman from what the rest of them assumed to be about the 1600s. The painting did not move as the magical ones did, which gave them the idea that it was painted by a muggle. The woman’s black curls were loosely hanging around her heart shaped face and her frown looked serious and regal. The woman’s large blue ballgown gave away that this was painted a long time ago and the feathers in her hair gave the impression that she was wealthy. None of them would have recognised her except the distant-looking brown eyes were far too familiar to ever forget.

“The mist woman.” Scorpius was barely able to make out. Rose nodded slightly pointing to a paragraph underneath the picture.

“We haven’t been able to find her because everything that mentions her is in the history of muggle-borns section. According to this her name is Morana Angelus her father was a muggle viscount from Italy and her family emigrated to England in 1693, they were a very well-respected family even in England. But when Morana was a child she showed signs of magic, back then with the witch trials going on in America, exhibiting magic was terrifying, especially since her parents had none. She’s the first known case of a muggle-born witch. The magical historian in this book found no wizards or witches living close enough to the family at the time to be able to protect Morana but was able to find a written journal of a muggle that was close to them. When Morana first started displaying magic her parents were scared, they tried to punish her to get her to stop it. The muggle talks about hearing screams from the cellar of Morana being beaten by her father. The muggle man never really knew what Morana had done but saw very strange things from Morana. He began to suspect she was a witch, as did anyone close to the family. When Morana’s powers wouldn’t stop, he parents feared for their reputation and the safety of their daughter if anyone were to find out so they chained her up in the cellar for years, after so many years she must have nearly became an obscurus, trying to block out her magic to please her parents. But she stopped fearing her magic and started fearing her parents instead. The muggle man that wrote the journal found her years later and set her free, by this time she was 13 and she knew if she showed her face to her parents again she’d be locked up so she ran away. But a year later after learning to control her magic, she came back. The muggle man that saved her heard horrifying screams at the house he ran to help and found Morana stood over there dead bodies. He was so scared he ran home and barricaded his door. He feared she’d come for him so he wrote the final entry in his journal so others would understand how he died…. But he didn’t die. She must have erased his memory of her ever existing because he has another journal from a few days later that doesn’t show that he has any memory of her.” Rose recapped what she’d read to the rest of the captivated group.

“Wow. I kind of feel sorry for…” Thalia frowned slightly.

“I don’t!” Scorpius and Sienna said at the exact same time, the smiled briefly at each other and understanding passing between them.

“Yeah she had awful parents, but so do lots of people.” Scorpius shrugged.

“Just because she was mistreated doesn’t give her the right to murder the people who mistreated her.” Sienna insisted.

“That’s true… but still I feel sorry for her having to grow up like that! I think we forget sometimes how lucky we are to grow up in this time. I mean yeah it’s kinda sucky sometimes, our muggle relations have a long way to go and a lot prejudices still exists but at least our parents aren’t torturing us!” Albus reminded them. Every stopped for a moment to consider this when finally Thalia spoke.

“Wait a minute… you think she’s forming an army of muggles, muggle-borns, squibs and blood traitors… to end magic?” Thalia asked, Rose sighed

“I didn’t know until you told me about your dream. It makes sense I guess that she’d form an army to get revenge on the magical community that got her tortured. She never wanted magic but she learnt to use it to so against rest of the community.”

“That book is the first solid clue we’ve got in a long time but it’s not conclusive proof that that’s why she’s forming her army. I think we need to see what else we can find about her in muggle-born history books.” Scorpius suggested the rest of the gang reluctantly nodded and eventually they disbanded with the plan to continue search for anymore books about Morana.

    After a month of searching Thalia’s birthday came and went without anyone noticing. It wasn’t until she made a passing comment about it one breakfast that the gang even realised they didn’t know her birthday. It was even more shocking when Scorpius shrugged and admitted his was in 2 days as well. That afternoon after Transfiguration Rose caught up with Albus and Sienna after making sure Thalia was heading to her divination class and Scorpius was on his way to muggle studies.

“guys I was thinking. This morning when Thalia and Scorpius mentioned there birthdays I felt really guilty, Thalia’s been going through a tough time recently what with…. Homesickness” Rose lied glancing at Sienna who understood what she meant. Sienna felt a huge twist of guilt as she remembered that the reason Thalia was having such a tough time was because the boy she was crushing hard on …. liked Sienna more. Thalia was the first real friend Sienna had ever had, she’d only ever treated her kindly and she was such a good person, and how did she repay this kindness? By taking the boy she liked away. And yet despite her feelings for Albus, Thalia didn’t hate her. She still treated Sienna as a friend, even encouraged her to be herself and leave Jaspers gang. And now to top it all off Thalia didn’t even think they cared about her birthday. Sienna wasn’t feeling like the best friend.

“And Scorpius hasn’t even had a real birthday. He didn’t exactly celebrate with his father. Scorpius and Thalia are such good friends to us so I was thinking… what if we threw them a birthday party?” Rose beamed as they began ascending the staircases to get to the 4th floor.

“A birthday party? Aren’t parties like against the rules?” Albus asked confused.

“Well… technically yes but I was thinking, what if we decorated a space in the room of requirement and snuck out tomorrow night. Just us 5 that way we can’t get in trouble? I’m sure I could even persuade some of the house elves to bake us a cake! It’ll be great! What do you guys think?” Rose nervously asked. Sienna grinned in response.

“Breaking the rules, cake and I don’t have to stay in the slytherin common room? Count me in!” Sienna beamed.

“Rose Harmony Weasley! Breaking the rules! What would your father say!?” Albus joked Rose rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Albus laughed as she pushed him aside.

“I’m in. Scorpius deserves an awesome birthday party and Thalia’s always so kind to us she deserves something back!” Rose beamed and began getting her notebook out as they walked to take notes.

“Right so I was thinking Sienna you should do decorations tonight since you’re the only one they won’t notice sneaking off. And Albus you can write to Uncle George and Dad and ask them to send us some presents as quick as they can, and you can get Louis’ music thingy to play music on…” Rose fumbled around the word as she planned.

“You mean his iPod?” Albus laughed as Rose shoved him.

“I’ll head down to the kitchens during lunch and ask the house elves to help with the cake then I’m going to go and convince James to give me his map for the night so we can see if anyone’s coming. Then tonight I have a special birthday present to prepare… gosh there is a lot to do! Do you think we’ll get it all done by tomorrow?” Rose panicked.

“Relax Rosie, we’ll get it done.” Albus rested his hands on her shoulders reassuringly as she smiled.

  “What kind of an emergency are we even talking about Albus?” Thalia demanded the next day as Albus lead her and Scorpius up the grand staircases.

“Rose didn’t specify she just said there was an emergency and to meet her in the Room of Requirement, so Sienna could come too.” Albus didn’t even stop to explain.

“Do you think it’s something dangerous…” Scorpius wondered trying to catch up with Albus as he flew up the stairs.

“Nah, I’m sure it’s not she would have said if it was.” Albus clarified. Scorpius’ eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Then why….?” Scorpius began

“Look lets just get there and find out!” Albus interrupted. When they finally reached the room of requirement Albus held Thalia and Scorpius back.

“I’ll open it!” He insisted. Scorpius shrugged in response. Albus rushed in when the grand door finally opened. Thalia and Scorpius gave each other a quick glance of confusion as they shrugged and entered anyway.

“SURPRISE!” They were greeted with party poppers being pulled and some Weasleys Wizard Wheezes mini fireworks exploding. The pair took a look around the room and were stunned to find streamers and balloon hanging everywhere including some balloons on the floor.

Scorpius noted a snack table in the corner of the bright yellow room filled with a variety of snacks for Weasley’s wizard wheezes and honey dukes, but his eyes instantly fell to the beautiful lilac and green cake raised on a cake stand in the middle of the table. In the centre of the cake were five iced figures, on the left was a black haired green-eyed boy sat leaning towards his friends. Next to him was a girl with wild orange hair held back in a braid, with blue eyes and freckles all around her face, she was smiling at the boy she was sat next too. Scorpius instantly recognised it as himself, a boy with brown eyes and pale blonde hair that flopped over his eyes in exactly the same way Scorpius’ did. Next to Scorpius in the middle was a girl with jet black hair tied into two loosely curled pigtails with crystal blue eyes that was laughing at her friend next to her, he recognised this girl instantly as Thalia with Sienna sat on the far right laughing with Thalia, Sienna’s tight blonde curls draped over her shoulders and her deep brown eyes weren’t nearly as terrifying in icing. A cake with the five of them on.

Thalia however had first noticed the small pile of shiny wrapped presents and realised this was a birthday party. Her eyes then noticed the bright yellow walls weren’t just covered in streamers and balloons they were covered in pictures Scorpius had taken of them all with his camera. A photo of Albus and Sienna talking by the tree next to the great lake that Scorpius had taken without them knowing. A picture of Rose, Thalia and Sienna in the great hall laughing at a joke Sienna had just made.

Albus and Scorpius playing an intense game of wizards chess that Rose had stolen Scorpius’ camera to get. Sienna and Thalia walking to class and pushing Scorpius’ camera out of there faces as they noticed him. Rose and Albus sat in the courtyard silently reading next to each other. Thalia and Rose in there dormitory the night they’d stolen Scorpius’ camera and took pictures of themselves for him to find when he developed the pictures. Thalia reading Albus’ tarot cards as he rolled his eyes with a smile. Rose and Scorpius excitedly working on a school project together in the library and snatching the camera back when they realised Albus had it. Scorpius with Rose and Albus this Christmas opening their presents together taken by another member of the Weasley-potter family. Sienna smiling as she leant against the castle wall talked to Albus who was jut out of frame. Rose with her hair in a messy bun frantically studying in the common room. Scorpius reading a muggle comic book on his bed taken by Albus. Albus eating in the great hall and sticking his tongue out when he realised Sienna had been taking a picture of him. Thalia balancing on the courtyard wall and walking across it until she jumped down gracefully at the end. And her favourite picture of all, a picture they’d taken of the five of them down by the lake on the last day before summer last year, Thalia beaming at Sienna was pulling a funny face while Albus laughed at her, Rose sat nicely on the ground smiling up at the camera and Scorpius with a ear splitting grin on his face laughing at his friends.

“You threw us a birthday party?” Scorpius barely choked out.

“it was Rose’s idea but we all helped.” Sienna admitted. Scorpius couldn’t help but notice it was kind of odd to see her out of her school uniform. She was now wearing a lime green tank top underneath a dark green plaid shirt with ripped denim shorts and black converses with a black choker around her neck.

“We felt bad we didn’t celebrate your birthday Thalia and Scorpius has never had a birthday party, so we figured we’d throw you a combined party.” Albus smiled popping another party popper spraying confetti everywhere. Albus was wearing a red English national quidditch team t-shirt underneath a maroon jacket and his old faded black jeans with his worn-out trainers.

“I know it’s against the rules… but they’ll never catch us in here see!” Rose reminded everyone. Scorpius smiled, noticing how pretty she looked tonight, she had her hair in a neat braid falling down her right shoulder which Scorpius figured must have taken a long time to get that neat. She was wearing a pale blue dress with an oversized royal blue cardigan and navy tights, Scorpius noticed she looked a lot taller with her kitten heal sandals on, and when he studied her face he noticed she was wearing faint makeup, barely noticeable but defiantly there. His heart did a flip flop when she smiled at him. He felt his face getting hotter and decided he had to look away.

“Come on let’s open presents then!” Albus excitedly declared.

Scorpius got a box full of school supplies from Albus which included a notebook, some pens, a homework planner, some pencils and erasers a ruler and some coloured pens and highlighters. Scorpius found out Albus had got this stuff from his brother James who last year started selling muggle school supplies to Hogwarts students. Albus thought this would be perfect for Scorpius since he loved school work and he enjoyed figuring out muggle stuff. And Sienna had given him some muggle magic tricks from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes that had been shipped over next day delivery. Scorpius thoroughly enjoyed trying them out at the party making everyone else laugh.

Thalia had received a book called ‘unfogging the future’ by Cassandra Vablatsky that Albus’ dad had sent him. It used to be a textbook of his back when it was on the syllabus. Thalia who had a particular fascination with divination ever since her terrifying experience in that class found that book a very thoughtful gift. Sienna had given her a packet of Flirting Fancies, one sweet made the person who eat it more confident and flirty for 24 hours. Thalia knew deep in her heart that Sienna had given this to her in hopes that she might move on from Albus and she appreciated the gesture. Rose had given her a dream journal she’d brought from James’ muggle supply store. Which Thalia found interesting and useful as there were just beginning there topic on dream journals in divination.

After opening presents and watching Scorpius do muggle magic tricks Sienna turned on Louis’ music player and they all started dancing, Scorpius was the first to get tired and want a break so he made his way over to the snack table to get a slice of cake, Rose quickly joined him.

“How’s the cake?” She asked as she cut herself a slice.

“Amazing! How did you even get one anyway?” Scorpius asked. Rose leant next to a bite of her slice.

“I made it, the house elves helped me out a lot though!” Rose admitted.

“Thank you for doing all this Rose… it’s incredible! I’ve never even had a birthday card before yet alone a party!” Scorpius took it all in.

“You and Thalia are such amazing people you deserve amazing birthdays” Rose glanced up at Scorpius watching him stare at all the decorations.

“Actually um… I wanted to give you my present. I got it from James’ there wasn’t a lot of places to get presents on such short notice but… I hope you like it.” Rose reached under the snack table and handed him a dark metallic green present with a lime green bow in the front, as Scorpius teared off the wrapping paper he could see a hard leather bound book but when he undid the strap the  pages inside where blank.

“It’s a journal…” Rose explained “…I thought maybe you could use it to write. I proof read all your essays Scorpius and there quite beautifully written. You have a bit of a talent with words and I figured you might want to try writing in here…” she nervously explained, Scorpius stared at it in shock.

“You really think I’m good at writing?”

“I think you have quite the talent for it” Scorpius noticed her cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything Rose…” Scorpius paused for a moment letting the beat of the music go through him. “… Who would have thought when we were in first year that you’d be throwing me a birthday party!” Scorpius shook his head incredulously. Rose laughed in response.

“We were pretty angry back then!” Rose shook her head.

“We?”

“Okay, I was pretty angry back then. I was kind of an idiot too…” Rose stared at Thalia Sienna and Albus dancing together in contemplation.

“Why on earth would you think that? You’re the smartest witch in our class!”

“Well yeah I’m intellectual but… I let a petty prejudice opinion stop me from making real friends… if I hadn’t grown out of that and seen how wrong it was… I wouldn’t have all you lot as my friends… I wouldn’t have you, and that would be quite lonely because your quite the most amazing person I’ve ever met Scorpius Malfoy.” Rose met his eyes. He stared at her in shock.

“Do you really mean that?” He faintly asked, she nodded in response. “Well I’m glad you grew out of that too because a world without knowing Rose Weasley seems like a pretty awful world to live in because you’re the most fascinating person I know.” Rose smiled and blushed hard at this for a moment before shaking her head and taking a deep breath to change the subject.

“I actually got you another present too kind of… I figured no one else would know when your birthday is so I thought I’d tell some people I know would want to give you a happy birthday.” Rose pulled a shiny gold envelope out from under the table too. It was addressed in turquoise letters to Mr Scorpius Malfoy.

“A birthday card?” Scorpius studied the envelope, Rose giggled.

“Open it!” Scorpius carefully edged open the letter and found a card with the Chudley Cannons Quidditch team zooming around on the front and in big bold black letters it said ‘Happy Birthday’ it was the inside however that made Scorpius speechless.

Scorpius,

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY!

Hope you have an amazing day, Rose wrote to us telling us

About your party. Hope she’s thrown you an awesome party!

… or at least I hope Albus hasn’t let her make it too lame.

Anyway, I was thinking about sending something to you,

But I decided this would be better so I talked to

Grandma and she agreed wholeheartedly with me.

For your birthday we want to extent an invitation to spend this

And every other summer afterwards if you’d like

With us. We have a spare room you could live in at Christmas

And summer when your not a Hogwarts. We understand if you’d

Rather stay with your dad, but the offers there if you want it.

Grandma knows just how lonely that big mansion must be

And we want to remind you that you do have family

Who love and care about you, us. Even if you don’t want

Too we’re just glad to be able to offer it.

Have an awesome birthday

 Love Teddy & Aunt Andromeda.

P.S Grandma’s cooking really isn’t that bad and the house

Has plenty of room for you and I’d love to spend summer with you,

It would be like having a little brother. (not that Albus and James and Lily

Aren’t like siblings but having you to LIVE with would be amazing!) – Teddy.

 Scorpius’ heart caught in his throat and he found himself unable to speak.

“What? What is it? I thought you’d like a card from Teddy and Aunt Drom? Did they say something wrong? Do you not like it?” Rose panicked at the tears forming in Scorpius eyes.

“No Rose it’s wonderfully fantastically beautifully amazing! They’ve offered to let me live with them!” Scorpius suddenly did something without even giving it a second thought. He grabbed Rose and squeezed her in a tight embrace. Rose was sin such a state of shock for a moment she couldn’t so anything but then as she realised what this meant she hugged him back.

“Oh Scorpius that’s wonderful! You’ll love it with Aunt Drom and Teddy!” Rose said delightedly holding onto him tightly. Scorpius tried to hold back the tears forming in his eyes and he felt Rose’s breath on his shoulder.

“Thank you Rose Weasley!”

[stellacarrierscriptstories]

Stella Carrier Script Stories Law of Attraction Edition Script One Sunday June 25, 2017

Stella Carrier Script Stories Law of Attraction Edition Script One Sunday June 25, 2017

Due to Spiritual and Karmic Reasons I am going to follow both my intuition and logic and keep all entries from the Stella Carrier Script Stories Law of Attraction Edition away from my facebook, twitter, and linkedin accounts. However, what I do feel comfortable saying is that these entries are going to be on my googleplus, tumblr, and wordpress.

            Affirmations

I Call Upon What I Imagine To Be The Influence of Benevolent Spirits From the Heavenly Realms, my higher self, and my celestial spirit ally team for creativity in both my writings and all other areas of my life both present and future

 https://www.orindaben.com/pages/rooms/affirmations_room/#null

I honor my connection to my guide with my words and actions.

I remember my dreams. They show me answers and solutions.

Divine Will flows through me. I know when to take action and when to surrender.

I believe in myself and my path.

I believe I can grow instantly, and I do.

My psychic abilities and intuition expand each day.

I am creating heaven on earth

I’m aware of when to create opportunities for myself and that when one door closes many more doors open.

I contribute to the best of my ability regardless of the reception I receive for doing so.

Start time 12:45 am

End time 102 am

Songs for me to keep in mind today; Warrior by Havana Brown, Sunny Days by Armin Van Buuren feat. Josh Cumbee, I’ll Make You Feel Good by K7, Up In The Air by Thirty Seconds To Mars, Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore Ryan Lewis Ray Dalton,What I Like About You by the Romantics

 I Stella Carrier follow my intuition regardless of any judgement I risk to follow my bliss and intuition to include some of my goals and dreams in my law of attraction scripts

 Setting the Washington D.C. area and Norfolk Virginia area

             I Stella Carrier am now enjoying a consistent income of at least 1200 dollars a month after taxes. I am worry free when it comes to deciding if I need to apply for any government assistance andor foodstamps because I am successfully bringing in at least 1200 dollars a month after taxes through multiple streams of income such as some of my self employment opportunities. This way, I am actually immune to whether I work a job that has full time and year round employment or a job that is simply part time and seasonal. I start to get more job interviews in response to my resume that I am blessed to have had help with improving. Additionally, I am now in the process of saving at least 200-300 dollars after taxes in my checking account every 2 weeks. I Stella Carrier am successfully using my time wisely and living in alignment with my divine life purpose. I am also making successfully contact with my heaven/celestial spirit ally team and frequently meet up with my celestial higher self and members of my celestial ally team in my dreams where they give me important advice and encouragement at a meeting table in a colorful garden setting. Fortunately, I am often being shown images in my dreams during my astral travels to heaven of some of my books being published while I am still alive as long as I write under an outside the box penname and pennames. Additionally, I Stella Carrier am being shown dream images of Rusty and I looking at our checking accounts and frequently seeing at least as much as 8000 dollars after taxes saved in our Bank of America and Sun Trust accounts. I am being shown enjoying much success from the 15 law of attraction books that I have set aside for helping me to reach my goals. I am being counseled at the heaven location table that I need to type the 15 book list and look at it every night while praying for success help as I am shown a dream less than 8 months from now where one of my money dreams comes true as a result of applying at least 3-5 techniques from each of the 15 books within 18 months or less from now. Fortunately, I am also getting good guidance to make a playlist of at least 36 songs that I section into 10-12 songs and to make the most of my current free time to meditate and relax to those songs at least 2-3 times a day. One of my main spirit guides, a male and female show me the 120 pound body that I am walking around in various places in the Norfolk Virginia and the Kennedy Center in the Washington D.C. area. I ask them when I can expect this reality and both of them helpfully explain to me by December 2018 or sooner as long as I get to making the most of my increased free time by walking at least 10 miles a day at least 5-6 days out of the week and schedule everything else around this very important goal. I was even told that my writing goals are going to more likely come true if I continue to work towards my weight and be consistent with my walking routine. Right then, I remind myself to restart my fitness journal after I get home from volunteering at the Giant Barbecue Battle. One of my female spirit guides shows me an image of me actually meeting more friends and having one of my stories submitted for publication under a pen name after I accomplish my weight loss goals. I also get to see a vision where I am going to many more music concerts in the future and my husband is even super supportive to where he accompanies me to many of them by offering to stay at any hotels that I stay at when visiting the concerts. I am even shown an encouraging image where I weigh 135 pounds by this time and I am seeing a checking balance of 3000 dollars after taxes in my Bank of America and Sun Trust savings accounts. I am even calling one of my federal student employers with the news that I can at least make the minimum payments on my student loans as I have now secured year round employment by the time I weigh 135 pounds. On a positive note, my husband and I are also toasting a celebration to my now having secured both a thinner body and a job opportunity that allows me to travel to both Virginia Beach Virginia and various places within the Washington D.C. area. We are celebrating at Blue Seafood and Spirits at Virginia Beach Virginia.

  I’m keeping this article for personal reference as encouragement for me to work towards obtaining a second bachelor’s degree online at least part-time in a major that I am highly interested while working a full-time job by January 2018 or sooner. 5 Things Working While Going to School Will Teach You

  https://addicted2success.com/life/5-things-working-while-going-to-school-will-teach-you/

  I have to admit Robin Thicke’s girlfriend April Love Geary looks good. I’m sure that Robin Thicke is going to always think well of Paula Patton. However, I can tell from this photo that Robin Thicke is passionately in love with April Love Geary.  Pharrell Williams and his wife Helen Lasichanh look like a happy couple as well. The picture of Kelly Osbourne in her white dress and black belt posing for  the 6th Annual Solstice Event in New York City shows her in a blissful demeanor. I admit that I would definitely dress like Duchess Kate Middleton if I had the money. As with other pics, the fashion picture of Kate Middleton in this spread shows her looking very regal/sophisticated. As a matter of the fact, the red peacoat that the mainstream media temporarily featured that Middleton wore looked actually similar to the red peacoat that my husband bought for me around 2011 or 2012 when we were bringing in at least 4200 dollars a month after taxes. I actually consider it a compliment if other people who saw me wearing that jacket around that time thought I was copying Kate Middleton, but I actually have had that coat since 2011/2012 (obviously, I still do). There are people who rip on Iggy Azalea, but I feel that she actually puts out unique music and has natural beauty about her. I was actually surprised when  I heard of her getting cosmetic surgery because I thought that she was attractive to start with but I am careful how often I point out other women’s attractiveness. I actually sexually favor men and consider myself a heterosexual woman who was born a woman. However, I do not see anything wrong with being transgendered, a bisexual man or woman andor a homosexual male or a lesbian woman. However, I am just implying why I am careful how often I go public with talking about when I see a woman’s beauty because the few times I have done so there seems to have been people speculating andor spreading rumors about me being bisexual without understanding that it is possible for a heterosexual female to see the beauty in another female with both jealousy free motive and also without being sexually attracted to the female. I do not consider it an insult to be confused for a bisexual andor lesbian woman but let’s face the facts. A mixed race woman like myself who is already a size 6 or smaller and is confused for a bisexual woman is going to be treated a whole lot better and perceived a whole lot better than a mixed race woman like myself who is confused for being bisexual but is currently a size 16 and is in the process of getting skinnier. It is also a pet peeve of mine when a well meaning article writer tries to preach to a mixed race woman like myself to just be happy with her size andor hair type and does not take into account that the life experiences of a size 16 darker complexioned woman (whether mixed race or not), a size 16 light complexioned mixed race woman, and a size 16 non-Hispanic Caucasian woman are going to experience different forms to treatment by other men and women even if they are all the same size andor working and living in the same environment (also different depending on socio-economic class). That is all I’m going to say for now on what indirectly influences me to work on getting skinnier and chemically relaxing my hair at least every 6 months or longer and keeping it long which has actually helped me especially during money fluctuations. Newsflash; a well-meaning minority woman (regardless of whether they are mixed race or not) andor a Caucasian woman (whether non-Hispanic Caucasian or Hispanic Caucasian)who tries to tell another woman what to do with her hair and whether or not to keep it natural andor what length to keep it needs to see the reality that a woman of a modest income (regardless of her race)andor in between jobs such as myself actually has an easier time with my hair because of it being long and chemically relaxed.  I have actually been what is considered “natural” before and even did the big chop from 2003-2011 when I was making much more money to where making even a fourth of that this summer would be a dream come true(my husband and I were bringing in 4200 dollars a month after taxes in December 2011 and by the time I chemically relaxed my hair again in April 2012, my husband and I were bringing in at least 4200 dollars a month after taxes). I have actually saved lots of money since keeping my hair long(at least bra strap length or longer) and chemically relaxing it once every at least 6 months or more. I am fortunate that my late adoptive mother, a non-Hispanic Caucasian woman, was comfortable with chemically relaxing my hair as a teenager with store bought relaxers. This was because I was inspired to bravely start relaxing my own hair by November 2013 when it was necessary to save money by foregoing the trips to hair salons. On a positive note,Johnny Depp’s photo reminds me to check out the latest Pirates of the Carribean film by this autumn season or sooner. Additionally, there are also other good pictures in this slide as well such as the ones featuring Elizabeth Hurley,Princess Beatrice of York, and Princess Eugenie of York as well among others.

  Week in celebrity photos June 19-23

 http://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/celebrity/week-in-celebrity-photos-june-19-23/ss-BBCTxay?li=BBnb2gh

Old Dominion University Norfolk Virginia

https://online.odu.edu/info/get-started?utm_source=Quantcast&utm_medium=Banner_ad&utm_campaign=Enrollment_FY_1617&utm_content=General_2+2&utm_term=bold_b

Kennedy Center in Washington D.C.

http://www.kennedy-center.org/calendar/event/TRTSG

  Eight to Eat: Virginia Coastal Cuisine Must-Bites for Summer

by Patrick Evans-Hylton | Posted: May 29, 2015 | Updated: Jun 19, 2017

 https://blog.virginia.org/2015/05/coastal-cuisine-summer/?utm_campaign=FB0617&utm_content=coastaleats

powerful writers

I admit that I am definitely not trying to change the world, but more my own inner and outer world because I do understand that changing my inner self is key to what is reflected externally. However, I admit that this link still caught my attention because a multiple number of these authors are still well known today.

25 Writers Who Changed the World

By Lauren Bailey

http://www.bestcollegesonline.com/blog/25-writers-who-changed-the-world/

Hollywood's 25 Most Powerful Authors 2016

6:00 AM 9/28/2016

 by Andy Lewis and Rebecca Ford

 http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/hollywoods-25-powerful-authors-2016-931979/item/maria-semple-25-powerful-authors-931954

Saturday July 8, 2017

 I Call Upon my adoptive father’s spiritual ally team of the heaven worlds of divine love and divine happiness to provide him any and all forms of celestial spiritual assistance and celestial spiritual intervention in all areas of his life for both present and future.

 I also call upon the influence of the heaven higher planes of reality and the heaven/celestial influence of my heaven higher self, my heaven spirit ally team and my heaven higher self of the heaven worlds of divine love and divine happiness to imbue with heaven’s wisdom and heaven’s spiritual/benevolent light as I type this letter for both present and future.

 The time period is 10 years from now

Timeframe started 947 pm Saturday July 8, 2017

Timeframe completion goal 957 p,m.

Actual timeframe completed 1033 p.m.

 Part of my letter modeled after the Bruce Lee letter

 I call upon the help and assistance of my heaven spirit ally team and my heaven higher self of the heaven worlds of divine love and divine happiness to help manifest the following in the letter in all areas of my life both present and future-this or something better for my highest and greatest good

 I Stella Carrier am fully enjoying all areas of my life in this timeframe of July 8, 2027. I have successfully maintained a 110 pound body frame for over 9 years now. I Stella Carrier have also successfully celebrated my 23 year wedding anniversary with my husband Rusty Ridler on January 22, 2027. I was 23 years old when the blessing of getting married to my amazing husband Rusty Ridler occurred. We jointly agreed to celebrate our 23 year wedding anniversary in Las Vegas and had the privilege of staying at the MGM Grand hotel for part of the time and the Bellagio hotel for the remainder week we were on vacation. We also spent part of the vacation visiting various parts of Virginia Beach Virginia, Williamsburg Virginia, and Alexandria Virginia. I am now also rejoicing as Rusty and I have successfully paid off our student loans and now have over $500,000 U.S. dollars after taxes in our Bank of America and Sun Trust Savings Accounts. Rusty and I also live in a completely paid off/paid for beautiful three bedroom house in Norfolk Virginia that is within 4 miles to the Norfolk Naval Base, Old Dominion University, and the MacArthur Center Mall. I succeeded in being able to move to the Norfolk Virginia area by June 1, 2020 from the Washington D.C. Area. Additionally by June 14, 2020 I was already making over $3,000 dollars a month after taxes, a monthly income that I am blessed to regain after remembering the enjoyment of the blessing of also making that after tax amount in part of 2008 and part of 2009. As a result, I am freely able to enjoy the blessing of sending my husband at least 200 dollars a month after taxes for him to do as he wishes in the Washington D.C. area. The 3000 dollars a month after taxes that I Stella Carrier now make is in addition to money that I am blessed to generate from my investments, side businesses, and writing deals.  Fortunately, my job has a high number of both married and in long term partnership supervisors at my job who also have spouses that are employed. As a result, I Stella Carrier am granted the weekends off at least twice a month, and I get off by 230 pm on Fridays. As a result, by June 1, 2020 I am able to travel from Norfolk Virginia to the Washington D.C. area to visit my husband Rusty Ridler at least three times a month, with some days I meet him at his College Park Maryland job due to me sometimes getting Friday off which allows me to leave to visit Rusty Ridler early Friday mornings.  My amazing husband Rusty Ridler follows me to the Norfolk Virginia area by June 15, 2023.  I Stella Carrier also enjoy the blessing of making at least 4,000 dollars a month after taxes and more by November 8, 2025.  I Stella Carrier give great value and service in all areas of my life and in my career and professional life. Both many of my customers and my fellow coworkers are happy with the work that I do in various areas of my career life in Norfolk Virginia.

 I Stella Carrier am happy to say that I have also succeeded in improving my writing and communication skills both online and offline. As a matter of fact, I Stella Carrier report the blessing of having been accepting into Old Dominion University by September 2018 and having achieved my online bachelor’s degree in Communications with a concentration in Public Relations by December 16, 2026. As a matter of fact, I even receive great news that I have been offered a public relations/marketing/advertising related job offering me at least 3800 dollars a month after taxes working for the school system in the Norfolk Virginia area by November 1, 2025.  This great news actually helps me do even better in my online classes at that time as my grade point average goes from a 3.9 to a 4.0 helping me to achieve my 2nd bachelor’s degree online from Old Dominion University with high honors.  Additionally, the pay boost helps me to repay my student loans quicker, at least over 7 years quicker than I originally expected due to a student loan repayment program that my public relations jobs offers as an incentive and appreciation for both my experience and how long I choose to stay.

             I Stella Carrier am also enjoying the blessing of a paid for mazda 3 car that I was able to actually successfully obtain by January 1, 2020.  I Stella Carrier being able to drive around in a paid for mazda 3 car has allowed my husband and I the freedom to travel across various places within both the Hampton Roads Virginia and the Washington D.C. areas. As a matter of fact, the paid for mazda 3 car has allowed both Rusty and I to have a home base in Norfolk Virginia while visiting the Washington D.C. area at least 2-3 times a month. My yelp profile and my online blogs are also filled with online reviews of both Washington D.C. area and various businesses across Norfolk Virginia, Virginia Beach Virginia, and Chesapeake Virginia that Rusty and I have been to and frequently visit.

On a spiritual level, I Stella Carrier enjoy the blessing of unlimited intuition powers, unlimited imagination powers, and a high level of genius and creativity. I also enjoy the blessing of being able to simultaneously create heaven in my earth life and afterlife both for myself and those who surround me. I also enjoy the blessing of communicating and connecting with my heaven higher self and my heaven spirit ally team of the heaven worlds of divine love and divine happiness. As a result, I am enjoy good luck and good fortune in all areas of my life both present and future. I Stella Carrier also have the time and opportunity to volunteer and hang out with some amazing friends that I have met both in the Washington D.C. area and in the Norfolk Virginia area. Additionally, I am able to freely give some of my money to feeding America, Salvation army, and various food banks and housing shelters across both the Norfolk Virginia area and Washington D.C. area. I Stella Carrier am also blessed to now be able to pay for the best therapy, career coaches, and advisors to help me out in various areas of my life that money can buy. I Stella Carrier am both lucky and blessed to say that multiple happy and positive breakthroughs in all areas of my life both present and future came to me both in my dreams and waking life after I started to write my dreams more frequently and seek out therapy by July 2017. I Stella Carrier succeed in having one of my books published under a pen name by January 1, 2018 and making at least $3500 dollars after taxes from it by March 1, 2018. I Stella Carrier am also blessed to say that I was already enjoying great physical health in all areas of my life both present and future but I succeeded in manifesting a 120 pound body by April 1, 2018. Additionally, I Stella Carrier succeeded in having over $50,000 dollars after taxes saved by January 1, 2020.

[readingraebow]

The Danish Girl Section Two

Chapters 17-29

1. What subject matter does Einar begin reading about that makes him question if it is the same situation that he is going through? He begins reading about hermaphrodites, so people born with both male and female sex organs, and thinks this might be his case. Their feelings of both male and female are exactly what he’s feeling. So he thinks that he might have a uterus tucked somewhere up behind his balls which is creating Lili and also causing the random bleeding: because the female part of him wants to get out.

2. Einar sees a slew of doctors to try to help him find out what is “wrong” with him. What does Dr. Mai say is wrong with Einar? And what does Dr. Buson suggest as a medical procedure for him? What is Professor Bolk’s take on the situation? Dr. Mai barely talked to him for five minutes and then disappeared to talk to Carlisle. He believes Einar has schizophrenia and wanted Carlisle to sign the papers to admit him to the hospital. Carlisle refused but said it was something to think about????? Einar says he definitely doesn’t have schizophrenia and they look for a different doctor. And Dr. Buson suggests a brand new procedure which is sure to cure him: a lobotomy! (If you need me, I’ll be over here horrified.) Dr. Buson says that Einar won’t be the same after the procedure and he’ll have to make preparations beforehand but he’ll be cured. And Professor Bolk wants to do what he couldn’t do for the other man twenty years ago: he wants to reassign Einar. He has three operations in mind to physically transition Einar from male to female.

3. What happens to Teddy’s health toward the end of Greta and his relationship? What was his last request to her? So Teddy ends up with tuberculosis. At first he doesn’t think he’s sick even though he’s coughing things up, usually blood. And every time Greta tries to call the doctor, he won’t let her. One time she calls the doctor when Teddy is gone and when the doctor comes, he won’t allow him to examine him. So this goes on for a while and eventually Teddy ends up getting much worse and is moved to a sanitarium. Well. He steadily declines and gets weaker by the day. Greta thinks his doctor is the problem but Teddy won’t let Greta’s family doctor examine him. Well, eventually Teddy knows that he’s going to die. And he tells Greta this and that he’s sorry for leaving her. Greta insists that she’ll have Dr. Richardson come in the morning and maybe he’ll be able to help after all. But Teddy begs her to pick up the rubber pillow from his bed and put him out of his misery. Only she can’t because she doesn’t want his last smell to be rubber. So she throws the pillow out the window and instead presses her hand over his mouth. And that’s how Teddy dies.

4. Who is Ursula, and why is she at the Municipal Women’s Clinic? So while Lili is working on gaining some weight and resting for her surgery, she meets Ursula, who is another patient at the clinic. Ursula says she’s there because she fell in love. She used to work at a chocolate shop and she met one of the boys who worked in the back and fell in love with him. Now she’s at the clinic because she’s pregnant.

5. What does Professor Bolk reveal he has found during the first surgery? What will be his next course of action? He discovered that part of Einar was female after all. During the first operation, Lili was hemorrhaging more than she should’ve been and it made Bolk think there was something wrong with one of her abdominal organs. So he opened her up to check and make sure there wasn’t a tear in the intestine or anything like that. And in her abdominal cavity, he found a pair of underdeveloped ovaries. Which explains the random monthly bleeding and why Lili would have to lie down for three days when it happened. (I definitely thought it sounded like a period!) So what Bolk wants to do for Lili’s next surgery is graft healthy ovarian tissue over Lili’s ovaries to see if they’ll develop more. And he already has a patient in mind for the healthy tissue. He says there’s a girl at the clinic who they thought was pregnant but who actually has a massive tumor. (Ursula????)

6. What is the final operation Professor Bolk would like to perform on Lili in order to fully transform her once and for all from man into woman? How does Greta feel about it? What about Carlisle? Professor Bolk tells Lili that the ovarian graft was successful and that her ovaries are now fully functioning. The last operation he wishes to perform is a uterin transplant. And Lili wants this too because she wants to have children, especially after she agrees to marry Henrik. Greta thinks it is impossible. She said so when Lili first came home from Dresden and a year later, she still feels the same. Lili asks Greta to go with her and help her recover from the operation and she refuses. She says that Lili is making a mistake and she won’t help her do it. Carlisle, on the other hand, agrees to go with Lili in Greta’s stead. He doesn’t say he agrees with her choice to have the operation but he will support her where his sister will not.

7. How does the story end for Greta? How does it end for Lili? When Lili goes back to Dresden for her last operation, Greta goes with Hans back to Bluetooth to visit Einar's childhood home and the bog that appeared in many of his paintings. After that, she agrees to marry Hans and accompany him to America. They plan to marry in the garden at the home of her parents when they make it to Pasadena. Lili has her final surgery and it is not a success. The operation took longer than expected and the recovery, too, will take longer than expected. However, while Lili is lost in the world of morphine, she hears Carlisle talking to Anna and he explains that Professor Bolk has finally admitted that Lili's infection should've healed long ago and he doesn't know why it hasn't. He will have to remove the uterus as her body has rejected it. The novel ends with Anna and Carlisle taking Lili for a walk. They leave her, in a wheelchair, at the Balcony of Europe as they go to get something to eat. And she watches the world from the plateau. The novel doesn't outright say this but we are left to infer: Lili never recovers from the final operation and died shortly after.

8. Should Greta have done more to stop Lili’s final operation? Why or why not? I honestly don't think there's anything Greta could have done. She expressed from the beginning that she didn't think it was possible and didn't think Lili should have the operation. But Lili was a grown woman and she wanted to have children with her husband. Professor Bolk thought it possible and he hadn't failed her yet so she believed him capable of giving her what she wanted. With that belief, I don't think anyone could have talked her out of the operation, even Greta. I do, however, think Greta should've gone with her, even though she didn't agree with Lili's decision. Because I think Greta would definitely have regretted not being there when Lili died. And Carlisle and Anna are great but I think Lili definitely would've benefited from having Greta by her side as the final operation failed her.

  Section Two Reading Journal

Okay. Wow. That was A RIDE. (And I definitely sobbed for the last twenty pages.) So when I started reading this, I looked up Lili Elbe just so I’d have a little ~background information about where this was going. And reading that Lili undergoes reassignment surgery and actually experiencing it with her are two very different things.

If she hadn’t had that last surgery, she would’ve lived and had a life with Henrik! That is so frustrating to me!! Yes, I get that she wanted to have children and that would’ve made her feel more complete. But wouldn’t it have been better to just have a life with Henrik at all? Even if they couldn’t have their own children?

But, anyway. Can’t change history. I know that much of this account was fictionalized and I’m definitely interested in reading more about Lili Elbe. This was such a moving book. I am absolutely fascinated by this story and also completely and totally heartbroken.

Though, in a way, this was almost more Greta’s story than Lili’s. It was more about Greta’s life that led her to Einar and about reconciling herself with losing him and learning to live a different life after he was gone. And that was also a fascinating aspect of this story. Her husband was technically still alive but he definitely wasn’t her husband anymore. And Greta not only had to learn how to be okay with that but she also encouraged it because she loved Einar and wanted him to be truly happy.

So. There were just a lot of emotions attached to this book. I’m honestly so glad to have finally read it. (Probably should’ve read it when I bought it years ago -- whoops -- but better late than never!) Now I’ll have to dig up a copy of the movie and, finally, watch that as well!! Definitely love the casting! And I can already tell Alicia Vikander definitely deserved her Oscar. Just can’t wait to see the actual film though!!

Anyway. What another amazing read!! (Still crying about that ending though. It’s fine.)

[janiklandre-blog]

Friday, March 24, 2017

9:30 a.m.  in the computer room - grateful to have a working computer at my disposal - grateful for the quiet of being alone with 10 computers - nevertheless struggling with feelings of weirdness - worry that my energies are waning - feeling so helpless over the vagaries of my energy levels - and so angry with the heartless people who are unwilling to learn anything  - and can be brutal - totally unaware of their brutality. Feeling helpful and saintly pointing to all the wonderful pills that offer control - ignorant of their side effects and why so many people say: these pills make me feel like not myself - they make me gain weight - they make me sleepy - and I am grateful to never have gone near "mother's little helper".

I do talk to a lot of people - I do try for an open mind - and have also by my psychiatrist friends enlightened to the fact that I am fortunate to be able to deal with waning and waxing energies without any medication and yet that there are many people who are indeed helped by medications - whose lives are made possible with the medications.

Much has been written about it by now - countless first person accounts many of which I have read - often remarking though that accounts thast end by praising medications seem to have a better chance of being published by big name publishers. Names do not come thst readily to my mind - but there are a number of people of fame and fortune who are "open" about their wild mood swings - they do the craziest things - and often do have the good fortune of an understanding surrounding - the Episcopalians often seem very understanding, helping members of their church to keep high positions and hiding some wild outbursts. Often it is also the upper classes - often members are given to great madness - who do have understanding and means to keep their members in good standing. What we call "simple people" with little what we call formal education - but with the true education of the heart - often by the suffering Tolstoy praised as an educator - who show much tolerance.

America has praised itself on it's classlessness - claiming all are born equal - of course we are not. There is the French term: petit bourgeois - occasionally used by Americans - in Germsn: Kleinbuerger - klein is small, Buerger is citizen - same as petit bourgeois - is used often - and behavior called: kleinbuergerlich - this is the class of social climbers, narrow minded, judgemental, intolerant, discontent and given to liking Hitlers and Trumps -a true menace. They are often a laughing stock and made fun of - there is a British Saturday night TV program on channel 13, I've watched it occasionally - can't think of the name - showing how sadly hilarious these people often can be in their aspiration to be what we call "Grossbuerger" - or better yet, aristocrats.

Sociology - I much enjoyed my two years of studying it - is based on philosophy - German philosophers Google will be much more helpful than I if you want to find out more about the history of sociology - in any event, sociology, psychology, anthropology all are very new sciences and trying to help us deal with that weird creature Homo Sapiens - the wise man, who alas is not very wise and right at this moment we are once again faced with dangerous lack of wiseness. Have not yet read Krugman today, nyt columnist, economist - only glimpsed at it - I believe he writes about the sad lows to which so called statesmen, politicians have sunk. A great lack of wise leaders - and many point to the assassinations and  now more and more good people are getting assassinated.

So while in America we are said all to be equal - as the European I still feel myself to be - I openly admit to class consciousness - and since my time now allows me to ponder such matters, I sadly see how much of my life I have come to spend with the petit bourgeois and suffering from their utter lack of understanding for me - and often being judged and scorned by them - for what they call excentric - and yes, I am excentric. I most certainly am not part of the "center" - "they" are so proudly part of - and know exactly how people are to behave - and now all these producers of pills and hordes of "therapists" thrive on making everybody - even tempered at all times.

Since I spend so much time reading and dwelling on these topics - for sure boring many - one of many many studies remains my mother (and also myself) - my mother who was born to two people from very diffrent background who both had in many ways risen above their background - were of a group much influenced by Marx - perhaps even read him - and referred to themselves as Proletarians. Also a group wanting to make all people equal!

My Jewish grandfather - coming from merchants - had become a locomotive engineer - not the lawyer or doctor he was supposed to become. My grandmother, born to an illiteraste, almost certainly Catholic maid - studied alongside my mother, by choice heer only child (perhsps not the best choice) - and later came to read the German philosophers (my mother snd I never did). Early my mother tutored Emmi von Uhle - minor aristocracy in her provincial town - and wanted to model herself on them - and a great virtue for aristocrats is: self control. I hear my mother saying to me: control yourself - an issue to this day - realizing by now how hard it can be at times to control myself, yet striving for it.

I am looking at the watch - the topic I wanted to dwell on was the term: offend, in German beleidigen - Leid is is sorrow, causing someone sorrow. I had to be sorely offended by Martha H. myself to come to think about all the offending that does go on at the CW - and also thinking who does freely and happily offend people - and having watched over the years how people react to being offended - many leave permanently and many temporarily. One of the much offended is Robert T. (I'm strictly forbidden to ever mention him) - who - after I said one wrong word to him did not speak to me for a year - would not even look at me - and yesterday on the phone begsn preaching to me the need for forgiveness and praying for the person for the person who offended me - he is a convert to Catholicism - a much tortured soul, who has done a lot for me - realizes I am one of the very few who truly appreciates his wondeerful qualities and accepts his lack of social skills. Would love to teach him some - but - by now it is accepted that he talks and I listen and he does not want to hear anything I might have to say. His loss. Still what I told him yesterday was - I am not a Catholic. I forgive a lot on the motto of tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner - to understand is to forgive - but - all this forgiving can also lead to stewing in our juices - which can lead to depression - anger turned inward - and also to aggression turned outward. All this aggression we see now all around us are angry people - acting out their anger in murderous ways.

We see far too little understanding - for the many ways anger is created - by a powerful highly armed empire - creating the terrible danger we live in. I do realize thst the woman who offended is much younger and very powerful in the group where I am marginal - feels entitled to offending me - and all I have is this here my computer to talk to and trying to figure out how I can channel my anger constructively.

Yesterday - tai chi at the church - a Chinese teacher - much geared to to many Chinese students - not terribly satisfactory to me - lunch, hard on my teeth - came home and fell asleep, a bit too long, worrying me (waning energies?) - off to Washington Square - a young man with a sign Deep Listening and some more words - 2012 Brandeis grad, sociology, grew up in Tribecca - lower Manhattan, totally unaware of anything that has gone on in the city, environment his intrerest, lived until recently in Boston, where he also tried to make money by listening, found a kinder environment - he does have a teaching job at an elite public high school, I think called Chealsy Latin prep - he made a few dollars from people taking photographs of him - the two lovely young women just in from Colorado began talking to him - at that point an angry man of color appeared, loudly cursing him out, the two young women fled - he stayed - I guess New York is tougher than Boston. In Boston he told me he had done very well.

Came home - find myself talking on my cell phone while my land line rings - I have no gizmo that tells me who called on my land line - so quickly pick it up and say call later - not very good - how do you handle having two phones? - then hurried to this here computer to answer my emails - I do try to be as polite and good mannered as I possibly can - ate some weird dinner - my teeth! - and then my friend still came - I had been invited to attend a baptism at the CW - some baby no one really knew - cannot say that intererests me - also don't want to see the woman that offended me - did sleep fairly well in my overheated apartment - here, sitting in a back apartment I am wearing a down jacket - in any event, it is 11 a.m. - thank you computer from doing some deep listening - I think I'll be off to the church - hope they have fish on Friday - I don't eat enough fish - yesterday in the nyt food section long story of woman fighting dementia with food - also with money and a great husband - in Columbia journal story of journalist going strong at 98, never exercised, never ate the right food - no one yet knows who gets hit by dementia and who does not. At this moment - all we can do - is pray - and thank God that while I have slowed down, don't walk well, can't eat most food, don't eat the right food, don't exercise as "they" say I should - I always say I am thankful to my parents to taking as good care of me as they could - endowing me with intelligence, good looks, social skills - and being able to function not as well as some - still a lot better than many my age, who are still alive. Marianne