#does it not go both ways with history?
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can't believe that while I am trying to be productive with real life things florus fic has me having thoughts like "is history not a god?" and my brain is actively compiling reasons why history is in fact a god.
#sorry just needed to get this thought out there... tags are insane thoughts. i can return to being normal maybe#okay. cuz will it not judge me? does it not dictate a sort of afterlife. are you worthy of fame or infamy? a faceless drop of water#in a larger ocean? imagine your designated afterlife is always changing. is history not eternal even if all things died and no one was#around to experience the concept. if life ever returned to conscious thought time/history would return as well. perhaps altered but returne#and going with the judeochristian belief of god made man in his own image and the rebuttal that man made god in our image..#does it not go both ways with history?#anyway#abyssal goes insane hours#time to go back to being productive#abyssal stuff#fic: allegory of the cave#abyssal writes
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algerian trans women arent able to compete in women sports at all, but yeah its makes no sense to call khelif tme. youre so fucking smart.
(this is a response to this post) i see you don't believe that i'm quoting one of the trans women in my life about that, which is your prerogative. it's also your right to miss my point entirely both about the ways this alienates intersex people and about the rigidity of a binary that comes down to the same shrinking circles terfs draw when they try to quantify what a woman is (speak up for women, the most organised nz group, have now submitted on the human rights act suggesting that all babies be karyotyped at birth and the results be public, bc they can't establish any other definition they agree on. absolutely fucking nobody, not even their christian or conspiracist allies, agrees with them on this one.)
but you don't have to take my word for it! when i was at that consultation with the nz law commission, i was in a room with many other intersex and trans people, including trans athletes and trans women like lexie matheson who consult on trans inclusion in sports at a high national level. i don't think there's a single person in that room who did not name what was happening to khelif as we spoke as transmisogyny, who did not speak of her as part of a group with whom we all shared something.
at the end of the day, prison abolition informs all of my politics. i believe that we must look clearly and carefully at harm and distinguish it from discomfort or disagreement, and identify its structural sources and true perpetrators. i believe that to build a better future we must be capable of imagining one. i believe that we can build a world where suffering is not the metric by which we determine value or punishment or righteousness. i believe that we can build a world where we centre and uplift those who are most hurt, in every arena — black and brown trans women, here; in some of my other work, it's incarcerated intellectually disabled people, or asian migrant sex workers affected by section 19, the list goes on — without then pitting them against other people who share some of the same story and will benefit from the same deconstruction of the systems that hold them down. i believe we can build a world in which asab doesn't affect so much of your life by beginning that work now.
there's a politics of scarcity — you have it better than me, so we have nothing in common. i saw it all the time in brothels, the idea that the new girl is taking money out of your kids' mouths. the viciousness with which people who are struggling are so ready to abandon solidarity. is it so hard to demand better for everyone? to think less about the ways we're alone and more about the ways we're together?
maybe it is. i know that well enough as a prison abolitionist. people get scared. they swing at shadows, they swing at anyone who seems to be suffering less, they — we, i should say, i am certainly not immune — get blindingly jealous of people who seem to have it easier. that's grief! that's grief for the easier life that we deserve. and we get to mourn, and take that time to feel it, and then we can choose if we want to keep working hand in hand with each other toward a world where that grief is dwarfed by the promise of the future.
#tony muses#tony answers#or you could simply say that she's not a trans woman instead of trying to make these terms fit? 'exempt' does make no sense here#unfollow me if you don't like what i'm saying! i don't intend to harp on it i like my little corner of tumblr and don't want this to spread#rbs still turned off anons also going off bc frankly i need to catch up on all my irl commitments and on local organising#and on the day job which is international organising related lmao#i really really cannot say this enough: even for the people i know who are both terminally online in trans circles AND organising irl#committing to more of the latter makes you feel a lot better about the former#also as always: i live in new zealand. i think half the problem with trans discourse is that people cannot imagine not just a better future#but a present in which there are communities less dysfunctional irl than this big messy online one#and that's saying something given how much i've vented on here about local dysfunction#i know a lot of people — mostly trans women — on here + twitter who feel afraid to have these conversations in public bc ppl act like this#and they have better things to do#technically so do i but unfortunately last night i was upset so i've opened another can of worms ig#which fucking sucks for me because every single time i have this conversation it devolves into people refusing to believe my csa history#or that i was sexed the ways i was as a kid
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see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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Silly Game Time: Who are the protagonists of two stories you really enjoy? (could be from any media: movies, shows, novels, games, comics, etc.) (yes, OCs count) AND which of them is better with animals?
You know what? I’m feeling particularly dragony today, so I’m going with Lady Trent from A Natural History of Dragons, and Princess Cimorene from the Enchanted Forest Chronicles. And though I love Cimorene a lot, and do think she’d be good with animals, Lady Trent wins, as she is a naturalist and has to actively care for and study the dragons she has, as well as the fact that she loved animals when she was younger too, and with all the time she puts into her work I feel like she would have to be good with animals. It’s shown in the books too that she’s overall pretty good with animals, especially the dragons she studies.
#Chaos Answers#sorry for not responding for a while I’ve been a bit tired but I’m back lol#And both of these series are so under appreciated I swear#A Natural History of Dragons is such a fun series about this woman writing an autobiography about her life studying dragons#In a world where they evolved naturally. Not a magical world. But a world where dragons are just another kind of animal.#And she’s super fascinated with them and studies them and has to deal with people stealing her work or messing with it and government stuff#And it’s a really well written series. It’s kind of set in the past. Also she’s a well written woman. She’s written like a person.#Like she’s actually shown having her period and stuff and being annoyed by it getting in the way of her work and all that.#And she’s really determined and stubborn and smart but sometimes makes dumb decisions in the name of research (as most do)#And then the Enchanted Forest Chronicles. Oh my. It’s a really fun four book series following princess Cimorene#She’s strong and stubborn and smart and does NOT want to be a princess and deal with anyone’s bullshit#So she runs off to go live with dragons and work for one. And she ends up getting caught in several magical adventures and stuff#It’s technically a kid’s fantasy series but I have no idea how nobody else has ever heard of it or why it’s not more popular it’s awesome#So you know. If any of that sounds cool then look into them. (Please I need a bigger fandom please please please- /hj)#And that is where I’m going to conclude my extreme rambling because oh boy I can talk forever if you let me. You shouldn’t let me.
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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idk how to say this right but i feel like people going through aaron bushnell's reddit comment history to try and figure out how Morally Pure™ he was and therefore if you're allowed to support his actions or not are. missing the point. in a lot of ways
#and i do mean this in both directions bc I've seen. so many posts along these lines already#and it's like. whether he was in the acab subreddit or made lizard people jokes kind of pales in comparison to#Actively Being Part Of The Murder Machine and that was the entire point#if you're looking for his moral values i feel like it's weird to try and find secret truths buried in his comment history#rather than going off of him Choosing To Die In The Number One Worst Way To Help Stop To Genocide#why is The Most Final Thing You Can Do somehow less meaningful than a couple reddit comments#and in the other direction it's like. i gotta be real with you his opinions on fatphobia do not mean shit nor fuck to me#and that's coming from someone who mods on an anti fatphobia blog like. it does not seem remotely relevant#he died to draw eyes to Palestine and when people go looking for moral purity out of him like this it just feels like they're#just. trying their hardest not to look where he asked.#what is the point of bringing these things up?#like. ok he made some shitty jokes. well now he's dead so it's not like he can go anywhere with it. what is your ultimate goal#do you want to bring awareness to something or do you just want people to stop talking about him because of what his death meant#idk#origibberish
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dndads avatar au thoughts
Beary: Earthbender Autumn: Firebender Henry: Firebender (so steeped in denial. s1 is him crawling out of the denial mud he's neck deep in) Mercedes: Waterbender Sparrow: Firebender Lark: Waterbender (no this does not stop the twins from impersonating each other. they are VERY good at it) Rebecca: Waterbender (uses it to make ice cream!) Hero: Firebender (prodigy; non-practicing; secretly the Avatar) Normal: Waterbender (kinda garbage at martial or artistic techniques, much more adept at spiritual/healing elements but doesn't have a teacher)
Willy: Waterbender (Bloodbender, obvs. Can pull freaky stuff with spirits) Ron: Waterbender (nonpracticing) Samantha: Earthbender (nonpracticing) Terry Jr.: Earthbender Veronica: Nonbender Scary: Her biodad is a (bad) firebender, but she's ever been able to do it, no matter how hard she tries. That is, until she met Willy. (she could Earthbend, like her monther's mother, if she tried.)
Darryl: Nonbender Carol: Earthbender Grant: Earthbender (pretends to be non-practicing) Marco: Nonbender Link: Nonbender? (might actually be an earthbender? it's strangely unclear)
(now idea how TF this family works in an au, but) Bill: Airbender (used for weed smoking) Glenn: Airbender (can make his voice carry so far) Jodie: Earthbender Morgan: Firebender Nick: Firebender Cassandra: Nonbender, air heritage Taylor: Airbender (he hopes he's the avatar, but he really just moves other elements around with wind)
The Likelies are all Spirits, including Hermie
#dndads#dndads 2#dndads spoilers#aus#avatar aus#somethingsomething the oaks have a weird history with raava and vaatu#Lark has probably bloodbent at least once#but its very abnormal for him to do that#Willy does it on the USUAL#dont ask how him giving scary powers through spirits work we're handwaving for plot here#gotta let go of the powers she thinks she wants and embrace what she has#meanwhile in the oak household being the younger sibiling of the avatar is treating normal F I N E (lying)#also i like the idea of the wilsons being a family of brute forcing their way through issues and not even really needing bending for it#if anything bending in their family represents taking things to extremes#link being an earthbender wasn't something they knew when they adopted him#also link and scary both being earthbenders was not intentional but i like what it could do for them#for the wilson family earth bending is representing stubbornness#on the stampler side it's an opposite to Willy's waterbending#and also VERY much Scary's own stubbornness#fire in the oak family is that Anger#and a representation of a form of that Family Trauma being passed down#so Sparrow has it because he takes the most after Henry#with bursts that's he tries to put out afterwords#meanwhile Lark is processing things very differently from how Henry did#Lark's anger is much colder#icy... you might say#Normal meanwhile gets literal steam out the ears#adding to the 'is Lark Normal's dad' question was also not intentional but I am keeping it#anyway Taylor deserves to jump over tall people#ive been sick can you tell
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This happened like a month ago but it still irks me a bit so I’m putting it up here.
In my DnD campaign, one of my player characters was talking to another character about various religious stuff in the setting. I took this time to introduce the Moon Goddess Galicaea, who has a winged wolf icon that he saw in a nightmare.
“Yeah so she has a special bond with wolves, and has a whole host of winged wolves that fly alongside her chariot that pulls the moon. This special bond is why wolves howl at the moon.”
“Actually, wolves don’t actually howl at the moon. They howl to communicate. Also, her chariot pulls the moon?”
“Yeah.”
“…What about gravity?”
My brother in Christ you are playing as a 12-year-old boy and his 14-year old sister trapped in the same body because both of you died and then made a shady deal with a mysterious god. One of you was deathly allergic to magic, but is now fine, and the other can shoot literal fire and lightning from her fingertips. You have fox ears and a tail that nobody really knows how to explain. You are talking to a half-human half-angel kid with a half-orc step dad and whose angel dad left because he was bound to the celestial planes. Your partner in crime is a dragon man who is learning to manipulate the flow of time and can breathe freezing death at people.
But God fuckin forbid the wolves are actually howling at the moon or there be other magical forces in space besides gravity. That would shatter the immersion!
#I just said that there are fiercely debated theories regarding whether it’s gravity or the gods keeping the celestial bodies in the sky.#My other player made a joke about multiclassing into artificer and building a rocket so he can show these flat-earthers that they’re wrong#I honestly hope he does decide to try out that character arc#I’ve been considering a flat earth for this setting#so it would be funny to pull that reversal on him#but also either way if they’re going to space they’re gonna fuckin meet Galicaea#and probably Princess Kaguya#who’s story we’ve decided is canon mythology and I’ve decided is also canon history (not that the players know that yet)#Also none of this is meant to be mean to my players#I love them with all my heart and they are lovely both as people and as players at the metaphorical table#But fuckin hell man this is a weird-ass boundary to have on your suspension of disbelief#DnD#rambling about nothing
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I was reading The Monkey King's Daughter (you can read the whole book for an hour) and apparently the protagonist is also Guanyin's grandchild? Can Guanyin be shipped?
I mean I can’t say like what are like the moral implications of shipping GuanYin itself cause that is so not my place but I’m still going to answer this cause it kinda of interesting when it comes to modern media. First off saying that like I have never really seen romance done with GuanYin. At least in a serious way. But if I had to take a guess it can be seen as 'possible' as much as like shipping anyone in Chinese mythos, in that isn't really taken seriously at all. In a lot of modern fan spaces there are a variety of crack ships for more humorous or hypothetical situations like I have seen literally the Star of Venus shipped with Jade Emperor just cause. But I don't see much with buddhas or bodhisattvas in either post-modern media nor in fan spaces. At least that isn't Wukong or Sanzang since they are both Buddhas. And I have done a whole thing about how Wukong for decades wasn’t seen as a romantic figure until like there was a huge character reconstruction, but that isn’t usually the case for most characters.
I would say that the most mainstream instance I can think off the top of my head is The Lost Empire (2001) where it had the main character has a romantic plot with Gaunyin herself. Of course, that wasn't really a masterpiece within itself but this was considered like a 'bad choice' more so that it was just a very strange and awkward romance at that.
Funny enough I think I see more romantic for humor's sake on Guanyin in comic books or games as likes gags at most. Like in Westward comics (later a tv series) Guanyin has a celestial-turned-demon trying to pursue him that he always rejects. Another is more play for laughs but Guanyin in the Fei Ren Zai where people just don't know it's Guanyin and think she is so attractive.
I've seen some games that have Guanyin as like a pretty boy/girl but otherwise nothing even close to a romance plot. Those are more just for like aesthetics of making every character look overly attractive to sell it.
The best I can say is that is just kinda strange and a little strange personally but I can't say that it can be taken seriously. I mean Wukong is supposed to be a Buddha by the end of the novel, so if The Monkey King's Daughter has it that a buddha can have a daughter then there wouldn't be anything stopping the author from having a bodhisattva having kids.
#anon ask#anonymous#anon#ask#sun wukong#monkey king#guanyin#chinese mythos#monkey king's daughter#Wukong is pretty self contained within Xiyouji himself so asking for a little bit of suspension of disbelief can be understood#but Gaunyin has a much longer history that is far more embedded with Buddhist mythology#She isn’t just a character in Xiyouji#and it would be limiting to her just to make it so#but I do think that might be the case in some media when it comes to portraying Gaunyin#esp since most modern interpretations of Guanyin are from xiyouji material just cause the sheer amount of xiyouji content there is#I rarely see Guanyin stand alone moves/shows and there are some trust me but most of her portrayals are within xiyouji spaces#there is a lot of conversation about xiyouji either being a reconstruction or a deconstruction of religion#and while the book is SATURATED in allegorical meaning whether in taoism buddhism or chinese lore it is also seen as satire of religion#people can take xiyouji as pointing out the flaws in humanity but also the flaws of heaven as well as it humanizes both gods and buddhas#this kinda of humanization can be seen as disrespectful to a certain extent but it is what makes these figures more engaging as characters#from a writing standpoint at least#this is me just rambling now about the interesting dycotomy that xiyouji has and has had with religion and how that can be see as today#to a certain extent a lot of directors take xiyouji plots as also their own way to show the heavens in their own way to convey satire#or humor as well depending on what their direction is aiming for#Some even go so far to make that heaven is just straight up the bad guy and that includes buddha as well which is a FAR more wild take than#just having romance in the heavens#But xiyouji does have it that we see these mythological figures have flaws#that heaven can lie or trick or they can take bribes and its up to the audience to interpretation as either satire or if it is critiquing#perhaps religion itself or rather the religious institutions since we do see both daoist and buddist monks as antagonists in the book#this as nothing to do with the ask at this point but i just wanna say my thoughts
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#so uh... what does it say about me when whenever a guy texts me and wants to hang out one on one i get lowkey panicky#i fully blame my last relationship that one. like it started with the guy flirting a lot and me very much not catching on until he told me#that he is into me and then it sorta went downhill from there and now im like... well if you wanna hang out one on one it could be fully#platonic but i also know i have no way of figuring that out cause im dense about these things#and the guy in question rn is so annoying cause half a year ago? i wouldve gone out with him no questions asked he was in a realtionship#but now he broke up with his partner of almost three years and im just... okay. and he broke up with them at the end of september and#didnt tell me (accidentally. we did not talk much and other friends corroborated that he just didnt realize he never told us. dumbass)#and like... okay hes been insistent on me finally visiting him (something that i started initially as a joke) and he asked me to#hang out twice so far. he never did that before and im just like... sir do you have a motif or not? whats your thing? sir?#and he sjust the latest case :/// always with a dude its either i know hes into someone else or in a relationship. tho its also only#with cishet guys so i fully fucking blame my ex cause no other gender or sexuality annoys me like that. like unless its a cishet man#i will always say yes to hanging out one on one immediately 100% and its just... annoying. i want to go out with my guy friends without#this fear#anyway in other news im going with the guy above to the movies on tuesday. he is a cinephile tho so movies is his go to hangout#also the annoying bit about this guy is that i am lowkey into him and ive been on record to other people saying that i would go out#with him. if he did not date my friend. who he broke up with. and its just... yeah. yeah.#also the friend is a history student and we both wanna stay in academia. and we would probably cross paths so just :///#hoping this guy specifically is fully platonic and that this eventually gets fixed cause help :///#delete later#im just super annoyed this has been happening more and more
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LIKE........ @ the prev post about armor flexibility.... Is That Why They Look Like That??????? 👁️👁️
Something else fascinating I found actually when I was comparing the Askr trio (knowing Alfonse and Sharena largely match, just a few differences here and there), wanting to get a better look at Anna...
SHE HAS BIG ASS BOOTS?!????? I. COMPLETELY FORGOR ....... it gives her a real sturdy look though. Hm.... (Thinking about what this means for characterization/how I'd draw her, esp w my initial impressions kind of. Being the opposite of this LMFAOOO oops 😥)
#feh#art ref#also something funny is actually looking directly at the official art for alfonse and sharena#and seeing that they do differ in little ways like that (didn't include the full boots cause i wanted to focus on the shoes)#i just. made simplified designs of them. made them twinnies. and never looked back LMFAOOOOO#and really it does go back to that OLD old gravity falls art i did where i completely redesigned their outfits#bc i think i was still somewhat new at drawing them and bc it was a whole comic i. couldn't draw the armor. That Much.#and in that design i gave them over the knee stockings. and that just stuck. in no way do either of them have that#in canon SHKSHDKSJSK (MAYBE w how alfonse's clothes are layered. that little bunched up cloth at the knees.#but even then that's still white fabric. whereas i like giving them both red socks. extrapolating from#sharena's boot/thigh window design i really couldn't make heads or tails of back in the day LMFAOOO)#also i will say. it is an extremely funny experience to have fe as a special interest. and to have history be one of my worst subjects.#i know jack shit and fuck all. on a surface level typically i would have little interest in this sort of thing. i love these guys though!!!!#and bc i love these guys and bc i'm an artist. i am studying the most oddly specific shit you wouldn't fucking believe#from clothing (a keen interest of mine actually) to infrastructure (i hate this.) to weapons (v superficial i just think its neat!)#to. horses. even. (i respect horses as beautiful and large creatures but i'm convinced they sense fear and i don't want#to fuck everything up bc this beast is like three times my size and i am. a little nervous. cool beast though!)#what being on the autism spectrum does to a motherfucker.#fe alfonse#sharena#fe anna
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I didn't finish Girls to the Front partly bc I got distracted but partly bc I heard a few other people saying it felt biased or lacking a further critical analysis, I'm curious it it references any of the women who were involved in DC hardcore or hardcore in general, re the books assertion that hardcore is overly technical and masculine point thay you alluded to in your tags. I know that it was still a very male dominated scene but the continued way that some people act like the women who were there didn't matter or aren't worth discussing has always irked me, and I'm curious if you had thoughts
sorry, i just got the time to answer this! i wanted to be able to give some quotes so it didn't look like i was pulling anything out of my ass. but yeah, so while the book does occasionally mention women in hardcore, Marcus has this rhetorical strategy where she brings them up, but not without first diminishing their existences and then dismissing their contributions.
There's reasons for this, I think, actually. One is that she really wants to sell this idea that punk was more influenced by women in the 70s and then, suddenly hardcore happened and the "macho-ism" of hardcore meant that the 80s lacked the previous generations female presence: "its penchant for louder-faster-harder performances and frenetic slam dancing were catnip for boys anxious to blow off adolescent steam... [the mosh pits] drove most girls to the sidelines". This is true... but only to a certain extent and is also a generalization, the other thing is I think she just reallllly wants to make riot grrls this supreme influence on women in the 90s, like there were sooo few women in DC (not out front, not as personalities, as she quotes from Jen Smith). But, by writing off the entirety of the 80s, she loops hardcore and posthardcore together?? like rev summer bands were explicitly challenging the violence and the "hard" rhetoric with vulnerability- spiritually v connected to riot grrl. and, ofc, rev summer was conceptualized by amy pickering! like she is directly responsible for not just the term but is herself the catalyst (Marcus says: "The scene's previous golden age... was what Fire Party's Amy Pickering had then dubbed Revolution Summer" which I feel removes a lot of her involvement, esp when Marcus criticized the fact Fire Party rehearsed religiously for months before performing live, therefore they weren't a part of the summer itself and also stood in contrast to the Olympia-riot grrl values of anyone-can-play diy). She also, in an attempt to re-enforce this riot grrl linage into The Canon excludes women in DC who weren't direct inspirations on riot grrl (so for example, Chalk Circle is mentioned a hell of a lot in these histories bc she was a mentor for Olympia grrls after moving to Cali, wrote a precursor zine that a lot of riot grrls read, and was in a band with Kathleen Hanna, Holly Rollers always gets mentioned bc of Juliana Luecking, etc) but Pickering and others gets left out bc she's an imperfect role model (wanted her band to be seen outside the paragram of gender, she worked at Dischord, booked shows, was friends with most of the hardcore scene). Unsurprisingly, then, Marcus v. conveniently leaves out the black women in DC; Pickering's band included drummer Nicky Thomas (who is literally never named in the book, only Pickering is mentioned when talking about Fire Party which i find particularly egregious) and their first show was dedicated to Toni Young of Red-C and Dove who were legit hardcore bands.
She also is weirdly inconsistent about the contributions of female instrumentalists (that idea of personalities...); again, the members of Fire Party outside their vocalist are never mentioned, Unwound is briefly offhandedly namedropped but Sarah Lund's name never appears, Christina Billotte is mentioned and quoted when she's involved in riot grrl (Autoclave-era; later she would grow distant from the DC meetings) but is only passingly mentioned when Slant 6 is formed and none of her bandmates are named, Maria Jones is name dropped as a significant presence in DC because of the Holly Rollers connection but none of the other bands she was in are shared, including the all-girl, all openly queer Broken Siren, I could go on and on and on. Unless you were a frontwoman or directly involved in riot grrl, you were not relevant enough for Marcus to care about, which I find frustrating. who gives a fuck about female vocalists when the "technical" nature of guitar or drums makes them much more gender-locked positions in rock music? again, there's also a divergence about proficiency, as if attempting to perform complex, serious music was like.... giving into the masculine musical culture? which i find incredibly essentialist and insulting to women invested in their craft. Ultimately I find Marcus incapable of adequately accounting for the variety of women and their reasoning for being in a band during this period and it does a disservice to the history to simply pretend any woman not Doing It Correctly is worth forgetting or dismissing. so, hopefully that answers your question lmao. id still recommend girls to the front, if just because it presents riot grrl pretty unedited and the timeline is super helpful when dealing with a very fragmented small subculture and seeing that it gets preserved. but MAN did a lot of the analysis get on my nerves lmao
#if you want to actually read about women in DC i think Dance of Days (mark anderson of positive force's exhaustive history of punk in dc)#does go out of its way to track the contributions of women at every point in the scenes history (including riot grrl!)#its also a really fascinating supplement to girls to the front bc there's two or three events that are mentioned in both texts#from slightly divergent perspectives (like the benefit show in dc during the march for reproductive rights among others)#i think thats super interesting in the context of oral history and such but i digress#anyway. that is soooo much but this is My Thing now so.#my posts#igottheanswer#void-flesh
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gahhhh. im sure it doesn't sound like it most of the time, but wow my degree is so cool and fun 🥰🥰
#yes it is painful sometimes and yes it is lots of hard work and frustration#but like....... isnt it so cool to find out why the world became the way it is#how people in the past were like us and also so totally different#through the right lens human history is both the ultimate tragedy of a self-obsessed power hungry cannibalistic species#and also the greatest funniest soap opera of all time#stories upon stories#i will be very honest with u i was kind of scared when i started that i had chosen the wrong degree#what if its not as fun at uni as it was at school - what if its actually way too difficult and i end up hating it#but ykw?? im so glad i chose this#(for those who may not know i am a history student)#idk man i just wish more people knew how cool and funny history is sometimes#plus the sorts of ways this degree encourages u to think are VERY useful (esp nowadays)#'always question everything' is the motto and wow it is very enlightening to live like this#where has this info come from - can i trust them? why are they telling me this? what do they want? is it even true? how do they know this?#does this info fit with what i already know? why? what do other people say abt this? does this imply something about the wider context here#look me in the eye and tell me thats not the most important ingredient for being online nowadays#(except for block and move on. that one is supreme we all know that)#if u are not so into history i would encourage u to have a little look at some of the cool stories that are there i think u will like them#one of the funny (and very gory) ones that i would recommend is the life and especially death of maximilian robespierre#he was alive during the french revolution in the late 1700s and the way he dies is fucking hilarious when u know whats going on#i have actually talked abt this a lot on discord bc i think its funny - much to the annoyance of everyone else in the server lol#another one from that time is napoleon's coup and the removal to saint-cloud#the power struggles of the GMD and CCP in china in the early-mid 20th century are also v interesting if u like that sort of thing#this has all come about bc i was reading an account today of the marriage of alfonso vi of leon and castile and princess zaida of seville#and wow i have a lot of thoughts about it#theres no way to tell if they were really in love or not and if so how much#but idk something about it is very sweet and very sad to me#she the daughter in law of the muslim king of seville and supposedly falls in love with the christian king alfonso - she converts#to christianity so she can marry him but they are only together for a short time - she dies a few years later in 1093 giving birth to their#son sancho alfonsez (who is killed in 1108 at age 15) and she's buried at alfonso's favourite church (technically an abbey but ykwim)
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#(not that anyone from that star rail post about dan heng and jing yuan will read but i wanna ponder it anyway)#but that tangled mess that would be jing yuan and his feelings about dan feng vs dan heng and his struggles to free himself the past#and find his own life#i just imagine the mc caelus being in love with dan heng or well on his way to being that#and falling for jing yuan too#and seeing/hearing jing yuan and dan heng in moments like this#and it just hitting caelus how they've had hundreds and hundreds of years#meanwhile he's just this blip in either of their lives momentarily there and then gone soon#(lord knows probably gone early bc he's got a stellaron in him what's that going to mean for his lifespan in the end?#he'll more likely than not either go out in a blaze of glory or have to be sealed away for the good of the universe#to not spread the fragmentum corruption)#and how could he in the face of something that's been between these two hundreds of years and could go on for hundreds more#mean anything but an eyeblink to either of them#and perhaps that's why he goes so silent and doesn't say anything when dan heng tries to talk to him in the story quest#caelus is just overwhelmed by all he's feeling and all he's seen and experienced and all he knows now about dan heng/dan feng and jing yuan#and this long long history between those two and how much pain they've both suffered#and all that caelus is feeling is like a great wave of emotion looming over like the waves dan heng#so caelus doesn't say anything bc if he does he'll loose hold of that wave of feelings and it'll crash down all around him/them#so he just keeps them in and keeps silent and mentally steps back and away from the other two#what they're goign through doesn't involve him it's not meant for him *they* aren't meant for him#they're meant for each other#he mentally steps back so he doesn't get int the way of whatever jing yuan and dan heng need to do#to untangle the hurts between them and find a new path forward and a new friendship--and maybe more#caelus won't get in the way of that or complicate it he'll be gone on the express soon anyway#and maybe dan heng will come back too but in the end dan heng has such a long future and caelus has just moments in comparison#dan heng and jing yuan have and to him should have all the hundreds of years to work out their future#and caelus will be just this speck of a memory hundreds of years down the road that maybe if he's lucky will have a statue#the other two could visit and reminisce by#(and wouldn't it be nice if in figuring out themselves dan heng and jing yuan realize that they do want caelus in their lives too#no matter how short a time that might be)
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I think one of the craziest things that a former object of my affection has ever said to me is “your boyfriend is just a less attractive version of me” like?? why would you say that?? are we still doing a Nick and Jess or are you just deranged??
#he's deranged. he's just deranged.#last month we both had boyfriends and yet that did not stop him from saying this#or saying 'how do we know me and bri's boyfriend aren't the same person if we've never been in the same room at the same time'#or constantly bringing up my romantic history for no reason and acting weirdly jealous whenever there's someone new#telling me why all of them are terrible and deflecting whenever i confront him about it#last time i pressed him on it he said that he only thinks about my romantic interests this much because he's making a tier list#like okay yeah for sure for sure that's why you bring it up in front of all of our close friends and judge all of them so harshly#yeah keep never unpacking that one#i swear some men would rather d*e than do basic introspection to figure out why they act the way that they do#bri speaks#LIKE HE'S BEEN OUT OF TOWN FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND HAD A PACKAGE DELIVERED TO HIS HOUSE#AND WHO DID HE ASK TO PICK IT UP???#WHO DOES HE DEFAULT TO WHEN HE NEEDS SOMETHING AND NEEDS SOMEONE HE CAN TRUST#never his boyfriend nah why would you go to the person you're dating for anything when bri is right over there??
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Something I've noticed with both versions of Orradiz is that in the early stages of a relationship, he's woefully clueless when it comes to any insecurities of his partner aimed at him. Even when everyone else notices before him.
Nine: Hm? Theron? He's not going to get upset if I have to seduce someone on a mission-- we're spies, he understands.
Theron, one mission later, meeting Kaliyo: that's your EX?!
Nine: oh. (I didn't think he could get jealous).
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Eight: Hm? Jadus? He's in seclusion, don't bother him with trivialities. I can take it from here. There's no need to report on all my activities; i'm sure he doesn't care for the details. (or me).
Watcher 3: ...if you say so, sir.
Jadus, in the middle of buttfuck nowhere: why has he not requested my help. was he not swayed by any of the rewards I could give him. perhaps I was mistaken about the nature of our relationship, as he has not contacted me in many moons. if he is not interested in my power, nor my wealth, I will have to be bolder.
#swtor#jadorre#thorre#like clockwork history repeats#this has happened twice now with my friends going uhhhhh when i first went theron? jealous? no way#it's so funny how utilitarian orre is so both his LIs end up going over the top with making their feelings known and it embarrasses him#theron with kissing him for 5 whole minutes in front of the entire alliance and jadus with everything he does out of sheer generosity#like the wealth is a big fucking deal but EVEN TAKING CARE OF HIS PEOPLE?#that is...so thoughtful#gifts to your bridegroom's family like 500 cows to show off your worth as a future husband#oc: orradiz#his tsun self being wooed is so much fun though. bless
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