#where has this info come from - can i trust them? why are they telling me this? what do they want? is it even true? how do they know this?

[gingerbreadmonsters]

gahhhh. im sure it doesn't sound like it most of the time, but wow my degree is so cool and fun 🥰🥰

[rolanpilled]

Why I Fell In Love With Rolan, A Character Analysis

I will be going through Rolan's lines, along with the devnotes, to try and explain my interpretation of his character.

This is coming from having spent 30+ hours combing through his dialogues, reading all of his books, listening to every voice line for context, and replaying every scene of his that's currently accessible.

TW: Mentions of abuse, family death, implied suicide

Very long post under cut. Get the Arabellan Dry out!

A few notes before getting into this:

In the game files, Rolan is referred to as "Prodigy", while Cal and Lia are referred to as "ProdigyBrother" and "ProdigySister".

Rolan is a character whose outer words and inner thoughts often do not align - for most of the game, he refuses to show vulnerability in front of Tav, reserving his softness for his siblings. This can be interpreted in a number of ways, ranging from a self-confidence issue to an avoidant attachment style. Though people are free to have their own interpretations, I will mainly be focusing on my own readings of his personality.

I am not a psychologist or a licensed health professional, but I have personal experiences with the mental health disorders I will reference in this post, and I have done a lot of research on the topics involved.

Part 1 - Elturel, and Rolan's past

"Rolan. Just... Rolan."

There isn't much you can tell about Rolan's life except that he's from Elturel and that Cal and Lia are his siblings - after all, he doesn't give you much info in the first place. He doesn't know you, he doesn't trust you. Why would he?

The information you get about his family and his life before BG3 come from minor dialogues, and using Speak With Dead on his corpse. The picture they paint isn't a happy one.

[Player: What's your name?]

[Rolan: Rolan. Just... Rolan.]

[Player: Do you have any family?]

[Rolan: No... family... no one.]

[Player: No family? What about Lia and Cal?]

[Rolan: They are... brother and sister. Cal says... I am family, but...]

Rolan doesn't have a family name. We don't know if Lia and Cal do, but it can be assumed they don't, else he might have taken theirs. The first thing that sticks out to me in this dialogue is that he doesn't consider himself to have a family, even though Cal and Lia say he's part of theirs.

The question is, what could have caused this? If his blood family was simply dead, wouldn't he refer to them as "dead" or "gone"? Instead he says he has "no one" and "no family", perhaps implying that his parents just... abandoned him. Either way, it gives the impression that he has issues with being abandoned, and may project a sense of toughness and arrogance to make up for his insecurity.

And there IS insecurity here - he outright says that Cal and Lia tell him that he's no different from family to them, but deep down, he doesn't seem to be able to accept it. That he can only reveal this information to you after death, having been so guarded in life, is heartbreaking.

As for his life in Elturel, not much is said, but a lot can be inferred from his attitude.

[Cal: Elturel was the last time the three of us talked like this. Let's hope it lasts until Baldur's Gate.]

After leaving Elturel, it appears Rolan, Cal, and Lia didn't have much time to talk. This is from the party scene - a scene where they're drinking, laughing, and joking amongst each other. Clearly the journey hasn't been the easiest for all of them, though one thing we can take from this dialogue is that they've had this friendly, sibling-like relationship for a long time.

From what we know of Elturel and the Descent, things were NOT pretty down in Avernus. Many people died, and after the city was returned to the surface, tieflings were driven out of the city, as we all know. Something important to think about is how exactly this might have gone for the three siblings: how exactly they ended up in the Grove, travelling with the refugees. The context seems to imply that the siblings were travelling on their own, not necessarily considered a part of the group, but this is debatable and not entirely clear.

So what brought them to Baldur's Gate? What finally drove them out of the city? Did they leave before things got worse, or were they driven from their homes with stones and violence? It could really be anything, but the one thing that's clear is that their primary reason for heading to Baldur's Gate is for Rolan to start his apprenticeship with Lorroakan.

We know that Rolan wrote Lorroakan a letter: multiple letters, actually. We're not sure if he wrote to other wizards, but from his dialogue, you can tell that Lorroakan's been someone he's respected for a long time, both for his magical skills and his political beliefs. Though he's never met Lorroakan, you can find a copy of Lorroakan's biography on his desk at Sorcerous Sundries - there's an admiration established early on, and the player is led to believe that Lorroakan is a powerful wizard (though if you bring Gale with you, he comments on Lorroakan's shady reputation, hinting at something darker beneath the surface).

What could have driven Rolan to write so far away, seeking apprenticeship? Was it out of a sense of desperation, wanting to leave the city but needing a way to take care of his siblings? Was it curiosity? A sense that Lorroakan might be his last chance to make something of himself after being denied what he felt like was his rightful destiny? As a tiefling, he must have faced some discrimination for his heritage - I can speak to my own experience here, growing up as a person of color in a majority-white community was genuinely traumatizing to myself and my non-white friends. Not only do we receive open bullying and ostracization for our appearance, there's something even more insidious that often happens to minority populations - neglect. A general disinterest in our accomplishments, a lack of encouragement and attention towards kids that don't fit the norm. If this was something Rolan had to experience, it's no wonder he felt angry and eager to prove himself. He's been neglected his all his life, and he finally has a chance to show everyone who doubted him that he really does have the potential to be a great wizard.

Rolan himself appears to be in his mid- to late- twenties, bringing up the question of what he's been doing his entire life if not magic. It's mentioned that he was able to conjure a flaming cat from when Cal was as young as 8, so depending on the age difference between the siblings, Rolan might have known magic from a very early age. So why, then, is he a mere wizard apprentice at the start of the game? He's surely had a lot of time to learn himself.

[Lia: Try not to get too close, Cal.]

[Rolan: Yes. Remember what happened last time?]

[Cal: I was eight and you magicked up a kitten. How was I supposed to know it was made of fire?]

What could have happened along the way? He might have just not found the time or the opportunity to be able to study, especially as a tiefling without a family or the money to pay for an education. In my interpretation, Rolan carries a lot of unvoiced shame for not having been able to "fulfill his destiny" until now. He projects an outward mask of confidence and arrogance to hide his vulnerability, his insecurities - that his family isn't really his family, and that he isn't really destined for greatness. His natural reaction to vulnerability is anger and denial, which we'll explore more in the later sections.

(It is mentioned in the devnotes, though, that Rolan "has truly worked his ass off to get here". Prodigy is not an ironic title - he's likely had to self-study to the point where Lorroakan felt that he had potential. He has a right to be confident, but it doesn't negate any potential feelings of unworthiness.)

Additional info - Rolan, Cal, and Lia, on top of having known each other since Cal was 8, also share a mother figure, who is deceased. There is no mention of a father. It could be that this was Lia and Cal's actual mother, who took Rolan in, or a number of other possibilities - it could be that ROLAN'S mother took the three in, or that she just happened to be an unrelated woman who adopted three orphans.

[Cal: We should have a little party when we reach the city, like we did for mum.]

[Rolan: That 'little party' lasted from sundown to sunrise. Lia would like that.]

This dialogue can only be accessed if Lia dies but Cal and Rolan live.

So we've set up a few key details about Rolan's personality: his arrogance may harbor hints of insecurity or desperation, he has issues with feeling abandoned or neglected, and he's potentially been denied his chance to learn magic in the past. We will explore these in detail in the next few sections, along with another troubling tendency of his - perfectionism, and the self-blame that comes with it.

Part 2 - The Grove

"I'll not gamble our lives, our futures, for people who are as good as dead."

If you recall his dialogue in the grove, Rolan seems to distance himself from the other refugees, focusing only on the safety of his siblings. Let's unpack this in his own words -

[Rolan: This isn't Elturel and I'm not responsible for every damn tiefling in the world!]

[Rolan: I made no such oath, and I will not be held responsible for these people.]

This is in contrast to Lia, who believes that they should help what she considered to be their 'kin'. Remember that Rolan often refers to the refugees in a detached way, refusing to associate himself with them.

At a first glance, it might seem like Rolan is fixated on his apprenticeship - he wants to get to Baldur's Gate straight away, so he can begin studying under Lorroakan. Lia accuses him of the same, causing Rolan to react with anger.

But if you think about what Rolan's underlying motivations might be, you might have realized something that Cal and Lia most likely recognized too - he's worried for his siblings' safety.

The grove is an open, unprotected area, and they're being menaced by druids on one side, goblins on the other. There's only a few fighters, Rolan, Cal and Lia among them, and none of them are strong enough to take on either group. Even if Rolan feels a sort of kinship with the other tieflings - which I'll expand on in a second - he prioritizes the lives of his siblings over them, and doesn't want them to sacrifice themselves for people he doesn't even know.

Now, the other theory - what if Rolan doesn't identify with the other tieflings, because he's been cast out by them before?

I'm going to inject my personal experience as an immigrant here. Life as an immigrant can be profoundly isolating, especially if you have few relatives in the area. Rolan may have been so attached to Cal and Lia because they took him in when his own people rejected him - for some reason, even other tieflings could have seen him as an "outsider", and refused to help him when his parents abandoned him or died. If you tie in the theory that he was a tiefling born to human parents (which would be taboo), it could have been that they rejected him for not "being tiefling enough". I'm aware that in-universe there's no one unified "culture" of tieflings, but even in groups without a unified culture, there are still small pockets of people with certain internal customs. It could be that Rolan failed to fit in due to his heritage, that he was rejected for his personality, or some other reason, but my interpretation for his refusal to help fellow tieflings is that he never quite felt the same kinship for them that Cal and Lia did. It could also be that he holds resentment towards them for abandoning him - abandonment seems to be a central theme in Rolan's story, and likely contributes to his feelings of inferiority and unworthiness.

(He does seem to know Infernal, though I don't know whether that's a cultural thing or an innate trait to tieflings.)

If the fight is held at the grove, Rolan, Cal, and Lia stand near the back of the cave to protect the children. They can be found arguing with each other on potential battle positions. Afterwards, if the tieflings and all three of the siblings survive, they can be found by the entrance of the cave, where Rolan again behaves arrogantly towards you and claims he could have handled the goblins on his own.

All of this is quite standard for his character and projects the image of an arrogant, selfish person who only seeks to protect himself and the people that matter to him, which is likely what he wants. It also lends some credibility to the interpretation where he was rejected by other refugees - if he felt neutral towards other tieflings, it might have made more sense if he was less derisive towards them. Instead, he consistently detaches himself from his people, drawing clear lines between them, with a hint of bitterness that seems to have a painful origin.

The rest of Act 1 is Rolan acting like his standard self - bratty, arrogant, and dismissive of others. That is how most of us met him, though he won't stay that way for long.

Part 3 - Moonrise

"But what good am I if I can't do this... this one thing?"

(Author's note: "This one thing" is travelling alone through a cursed, necrotic land, breaking into a prison staffed with dozens of trained guards, and personally facing an immortal chosen of the literal god of death. Rolan is a Level 4 wizard.)

As you already know, at the start of Act 2 Rolan is drinking himself to death alone. His brother and sister have been dragged away screaming by the cultists, and he's overwhelmed at the thought of never seeing them again. Naturally, he's quite angry with you, but if you read his lines closely, you can see that you're not the only person he's angry at.

[Rolan: Gods damn it all. I can do nothing right - not a damn thing!] [Devnote: Furious - mainly with himself]

[Player: You're supposed to be at Last Light.]

[Rolan: I'm supposed to be saving Cal and Lia!] [Devnote: Frantic, worried for his siblings]

[Rolan: Instead, I found myself cornered by shadow-fiends and in need of rescue. From you, of all bloody people.] [Devnote: Pissed off and taking it out on the player]

[Player: You were trying to help your family - you're too hard on yourself.]

[Rolan: Or not hard enough.]

[Rolan: I've failed Cal and Lia, again. Be on your way - I'll return to Last Light... I know when I'm outmatched.]

Rolan is someone who feels deeply responsible for the safety of his siblings (this lends credence to the idea that he's the eldest of the three). He may argue and bicker with them, but he could never abandon then, nor could he forgive himself if something were to happen to them. He is clearly carrying an unbearable amount of grief and guilt for allowing his siblings to be captured, but he's so emotionally repressed that he chooses to bury his sorrow under a mound of anger. Being drunk doesn't help - it's mentioned by one of the kids, Ide, that he's been through three bottles of wine by the time the player reaches the Shadow-Cursed Lands.

That much is obvious just from reading his lines, but his angry reaction to the player is, as the devnotes say, a way of taking out his pain and frustration on other people. He might feel guilty about it later, but in the moment, it's the only way he knows how to cope with them. This isn't his only instance of externalizing his self-hatred.

If Cal dies and Lia lives, the player has the option to break up an argument between Lia and Rolan. If they fail to neutralize the situation, Rolan will tell Lia (or Cal, depending on who lives) to get out of his sight permanently.

[Rolan: You deserve nothing. You two are cowardly parasites, and I am disgusted it took me this long to see. Get out of my sight.] [Devnote: Furious in his grief, lashing out, being as hurtful as he can to his surviving sibling]

[Lia: Fuck you, Rolan!]

-

[Lia: Insufferable, arrogant little prick. Argh.]

[Lia: Everything is about him, everything is about his pain. Godsdamnit, Rolan!]

It says a lot to me that if one of his siblings dies, that he has to be convinced out of lashing out at his surviving one. He seems to be like a person who deals with strong emotions by lashing out, likely as a defense mechanism to make himself appear stronger than he feels. This is a common technique used by people with self-esteem issues - to avoid drawing attention to their own vulnerability, they lash out and externalize their feelings with anger to bury the grief. Lia says as much in this ending - to Rolan, everything is about his pain, and he's managing it in the only way he knows how. He knows he's hurting his siblings, he knows it's wrong, but he engages in it anyway, a common trait of people who dislike themselves. If Rolan didn't have his apprenticeship, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the death of his siblings might have caused him to spiral and give up on life altogether.

Interestingly enough, in the end where both Rolan and one of his siblings die, it's implied that the remaining sibling commits suicide. You can read more about it here - it gives some insight into Rolan's motivations, and serves to emphasize exactly how much this apprenticeship means to him. Rolan lives for two things, though it really just is one thing - his siblings, and his apprenticeship, which means more to him because it represents a hopeful future for his siblings. Every clue in the game points to his siblings being everything to him.

But let's move away from this bad ending for one second, and back to where we are. Rolan's been drinking himself silly, yelling at children, and eventually storms out into the SCL by himself. Being an apprentice wizard, few expect him to survive on his own, and true to form, he has to be rescued by the player again.

Though I think this line is currently bugged and unavailable, he actually has lines reacting to the shadows.

[Rolan: My magic is not to be trifled with - leave or die!] [Devnote: Exhausted and scared, but trying not to sound it]

Rolan, emotionally repressed fool he is, is once again attempting to appear big in order to protect himself from what he fears. Whether it's the shadows, or the loss of his siblings, he reacts to stressful situations with a brave front, attempting to push people away so they won't see him at his worst state.

This is one of the common symptoms of an avoidant attachment disorder - an attachment style that causes people to push others away if they get too close, avoiding emotional closeness and being uncomfortable expressing vulnerability to others. I interpret Rolan as having this kind of attachment style, which is often formed from neglect or abuse as a child, resulting in a self-sufficient but emotionally cold person. It can lead to the breakdowns of close relationships, as evidenced by Rolan pushing away his surviving sibling (potentially in order to save himself the grief of having to go through their death again). People with this disorder often cut off people before they can be cut off, in order to save themselves the pain of being abandoned again.

Some recognize the negative impact of their behaviors more than most, and though Rolan never comments on it, it can be inferred that he feels some measure of guilt for the way he behaves. If convinced to lay off of his surviving sibling, he immediately apologizes, recognizing his mistake.

[Cal: Do you wish it was me who died? Instead of Lia?]

[Rolan: Gods no, that's not what I meant. Never, Cal. Never!] [Devnote: Realizes what he's just said. Backtracking, apologizing, sincere]

[Rolan: Shit. I'm sorry.] [Devnote: Disgusted with himself and what he's just said. Looking away, sincere apology]

[Cal: Me too.]

We can see here that Rolan IS capable of self-reflection and guilt - it just takes more than a nudge to get it out of him. He says as much if you manage to rescue both siblings, thanking you and apologizing for his behavior - not an empty apology, or made out of necessity, but a genuine, heartfelt admission of guilt and gratitude. This kind of mature response from him says a lot about his character, and hints at a capacity for further growth in Act 3.

As Cal says, Rolan can be stubborn, but he's never malicious. I see this as an indicator of the immense guilt he holds inside him - though he externalizes his rage towards anyone and everyone, deep down, the person he blames the most is himself.

Which leads me directly into a talk about perfectionism, one of Rolan's defining character traits.

Rolan, at his core, is a perfectionist. The feelings of failure for not being able to save his siblings, the arrogance that belies a certain type of self-hatred, and a willingness to attack others in order to deflect from his own vulnerability - all of these traits tie heavily into perfectionism, which Rolan consistently displays traits of. At the start of the game, he spends every line with the player bragging about how he and Lorroakan are going to become household names, how they will boast of this meeting to others. To an extent, I'm sure he believes it. He's just been invited to what he considers to be a prestigious apprenticeship, despite everyone having considered him a failure. Naturally, he's excited despite the trauma of Elturel and Avernus, and wants to get to Lorroakan immediately in order to fulfill his destiny (he refers to it as his destiny several times throughout the game).

This makes what happens next all the more tragic.

Part 4 - Baldur's Gate, Lorroakan, and ending the Cycle of Abuse

Picture this - you've been rejected, abandoned, considered a lost cause for most of your life, accepted only by the siblings you just barely avoided losing forever. But the journey was worth it. You're finally here, in the city you've dreamed of, studying under who in your opinion is one of the most powerful and respected wizards in the world.

Then you get there, and you don't learn a thing. Your teacher asks you nonsensical questions and beats you as a punishment when you're wrong. It's unsurprising that when the player enters Sorcerous Sundries, that Rolan seems a bit more dejected than usual.

Much has been said about the depiction of abuse in media, but as a survivor of domestic violence, I found Rolan's reaction and justification of his abuse very accurate for someone suffering from DV. True to his personality, the very first thing he does is deny that anything's wrong, continuing his trend of burying his emotions in the hope that they'll go away.

[Player: I know the marks of subjugation. Your face - what happened?]

[Rolan: Nothing for you to worry about.] [Devnote: Master Lorroakan hurt him, but he doesn't want to say]

[Narrator: *His voice catches. Something's wrong here.*]

Survivors of DV often feel great shame towards their abuse, often blaming themselves and refusing to speak about it out of fear of appearing vulnerable. True to that, Rolan doesn't say anything about what Lorroakan's doing it, resorting to another common tactic for abuse survivors - implying what's happening without directly stating that the abuse is occurring. This is often out of fear, especially if the victim is still close to the abuser - in this case, Rolan not wanting to jeopardize his apprenticeship, or possibly be abused further for disclosing it to someone else.

[Rolan: Be very sure before you make to visit Lorroakan. He's got a beastly temper.] [Devnote: Sounds a bit disappointed in the player]

[Rolan: Master Lorroakan is... a difficult man.] [Devnote: Gently touches bruised face, distant]

Abuse survivors often hold a great deal of guilt for 'allowing' themselves to be abused, more so if the abuser considers them weak or easy to manipulate. There's often a stigma - "why didn't you just leave? You knew it was bad, yet you stayed, so there must be some blame on your part." This is not an uncommon belief amongst survivors, and through his journal entries, it can be inferred that Rolan holds a similar belief. Rolan's journal, and his VA's fantastic reading of it, can be found here. Rolan is clearly aware that what's being done to him is wrong, but he persists - in my opinion, partially because he believes it's worth the benefits involved, and partially because he feels a responsibility towards his siblings to succeed after 'failing' them so tragically before. Again, perfectionism, guilt, internalized self-hatred: easy traits for a horrible man like Lorroakan to take advantage of.

There are a few possible endings for Rolan here, the first being if you side against the Nightsong with Lorroakan.

The thing about abuse, as Larian so excellently portrays it, is that it is often perpetuated in cycles. A person who's been hurt is more likely to hurt others, whether as a response to their pain, or in an attempt to spread their misery in order to feel less alone. Though not all survivors become perpetrators themselves, many perpetrators are survivors themselves. Rolan is no different - if Nightsong is captured, and Lorroakan is killed in the fight, he will immediately attempt to cage the Nightsong himself and harness her immortality. This could easily be seen as an attempt to get strong enough that no one can ever hurt or take advantage of him again.

When the player next long rests, Rolan will be found dead, having been killed by Aylin - perhaps a mercy, to avoid him from becoming just the same as Lorroakan.

But the player who cares for Rolan wouldn't let this happen to him, right?

Rolan's attitude towards the player gradually changes over time, but nothing shows his growth more than his good ending, where you save Cal and Lia and side with the Nightsong. When you bring Nightsong to the tower, Rolan will be shocked, in disbelief that the Nightsong was a person all along. He turns against Lorroakan on the spot despite the other man's threats to ruin his life (a common tactic employed by abusers to control their victims).

[Lorroakan: Boy! At the ready. Once I've taken control of the aasimar, she must go directly into the caging runes.]

[Rolan: No, Master Lorroakan. I would have never assisted you if I knew you planned such horrors.]

[Rolan: You lied to get the Nightsong here. Made us all believe she was nothing but a relic. I have seen what true leadership can accomplish - but never under your tutelage.]

[Lorroakan: Watch your tongue, you child! I could make it so that no wizard in the realm will touch you.]

[Rolan: If they're all like you, I think that sounds like an excellent bargain.]

It takes an immense amount of courage to stand up to one's abuser, so to see Rolan so bravely stand against the man who hurt him was a positive surprise to me. It also shows just how much the player has changed Rolan for the better - your leadership and selflessness has inspired him, given him the bravery to stand against his abuser. It's a powerful scene, and I admit that watching it brought a tear to my eye, brief as it was. Few people get the chance to take revenge on their abusers, so it was cathartic to see Rolan thunderwaving him onto the balcony before letting Aylin snap his spine.

After the fight, Rolan thanks the player, finally feeling safe enough after his abuser's death to reveal what happened to him. Though it's implied that he feels some shame for being victimized, much of it is likely from the shock of the sudden event, and by the next day he's regained much of his enthusiasm - he still has the ego, but with less arrogance and more acceptance of the player's presence. Rolan's growth, from hating and mistrusting the player to eventually trusting them enough to show his true, kind self to them, is what really made me fall in love with him and his character arc.

Ultimately, Rolan's story isn't just about learning to lay down your pride and accept help from others - it's about abandoning perfectionism and elitism, accepting your own faults, and choosing to grow as a person. For Rolan, the player begins as an annoying, meddlesome force, someone who "moralizes" to him about saving others when he wants no part in doing what's considered "right". By the end of the game, he realizes just how lucky he is to have you in his life - without the player's influence, he could have easily gone down the worst path, the path of narcissism, ego, and disregard for others. But because of a string of coincidences, he was saved from that fate, and was allowed to grow and accept that there's enough room in his heart for more than just the few people that care about him. He learns to lay down the perfectionism, accept that making mistakes is a part of change, and feel his feelings for what they are - whether they're gratitude, fear, or even sadness.

For someone who struggles with avoidant attachment disorder, seeing Rolan's character change throughout the game greatly inspired me to change the way I was approaching my own relationships with people. Avoidant attachment disorder is not talked about very often, both in the medical field and in everyday life, and people suffering from it are often misunderstood or considered to be 'lost causes' - to see Rolan so capable of change inspired me to change myself, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

When he takes over Ramazith's Tower, Rolan decides to distribute Lorroakan's knowledge to the world, and tells you about his plans to open a library. This is the most obvious sign that he's changed - the player's willingness to help him despite getting little or nothing in exchange has inspired him, and he becomes a kinder, more open person. He learns to trust again, to love again. It's unclear what happens afterwards, as he's not present in the epilogue, but the heartwarming conclusion to his arc can be seen in the issue of the Baldur's Mouth Gazette after Lorroakan's death -

Despite everything, Rolan makes it to the end, having vanquished the trials in front of him with the help of the player. He gets his tower, his knowledge, and shares it with the realms, finally able to realize that he's worthy and deserving of a happy life.

-

Thank you to Larian for bringing Rolan's story to life, to Mr. Taylor for his excellent portrayal of this character, and to all the Rolan fans for showing him so much love every single day.

I have met so many amazing and talented friends from the community around this character, and I'll forever be grateful for everyone who showed him the love I feel towards him.

I can be found on twitter at @gimblebock.

[fluentmoviequoter]

hiiiii ♡ would be able to write something where reader is Jason Todd's girlfriend, friends to lovers situation so they've known each other a long time but she doesn't know about any of the vigilante stuff, And one day she's late making her way back to thier apartment but Jason is also making his way home but he's still in all the Redhood gear and reader bumps into him and is absolutely terrified out of her mind like just in complete terror of him. And she runs home and locks the doors and the windows and is a little shaken up. Jason finally arrives home obviously not as redhood lol And anyway he has to comfort her and just how would he react knowing that he scared the shit out of her and that she's this much afraid of redhood

Hi!! Of course! This is my first Jason Todd request and I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart!! I love him so much and this is an incredible idea. I added my own spin to the ending, but I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

Warnings: angst, fluff, Dick Grayson is nosy

Word Count: 2.3k+ words

A/N: This isn't a specific adaptation/characterization of Jason Todd, but I do mention that he's built like a brick wall, so it's probably not Titans!Jason. The gif fit, though, so. If anyone has more Jason Todd requests, please send them!

PART 2 - Love, The Man Under the Hood >

Masterlist | DC/Jason Todd Masterlist | Request Info

The Man Under the Hood

“Are you going to tell her?” Dick asks, raising his gloved hand for Jason to hit.

“I don’t know,” Jason grunts between punches.

“She stayed through everything else.”

“We were friends then, it was different.”

Dick drops his hands, and Jason sighs, lowering his guard. Jason raises his eyebrows, preparing for one of Dick’s infamous lectures.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Dick begins before laughing at Jason’s surprised look. “I’m really not, but you’ve known her for a very long time. Just, don’t wait too long, because then it just looks like you don’t trust her.”

“It was different for you. Nightwing wasn’t feared. Telling her that I’m Red Hood tells her that I’ve done things that- that most people never consider.”

“She loves you. As you make the decision, just remember that.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Growing up in Gotham and playing in the streets (even when you shouldn’t have) introduced you to Jason Todd very early. He quickly became your friend, and when you lost him, you were finally ready to admit you loved him. But it was too late. The feelings that you were trying to navigate multiplied tenfold, and every time you pass his grave, they come back to the surface.

The cemetery is on your way home, and sometimes you can’t help but walk in. You can navigate to his headstone with your eyes closed, and everything else drifts away as you stare at his name.

“There’s a joke about the morbidity of this somewhere, I just know it."

Two large hands land on your waist, turning you around and pulling you into a kiss that takes your breath away. Breaking the kiss, you wonder what life would be like if Jason had never disappeared.

“Sorry,” you murmur. Kissing Jason is new and still catches you off guard, like you’re dreaming.

“Don’t apologize,” Jason whispers, brushing his fingers across your cheekbone. “Of all the places to hang out,” he adds with a bright smile.

“Why didn’t Bruce get it taken down?”

Jason shrugs. “The reminder? The idea that something else could happen. I really don’t know,” Jason half lies. He isn’t ready to tell you that he really did die and is happy to let you think it was just a ransom kidnapping gone wrong.

“What?” you ask, pressing your palms against his chest. “You disappeared into that pretty head again.”

“I’m just glad we’re finally more than friends,” Jason says, pressing his lips to yours.

“Me too,” you reply against his lips.

You’ve been friends much longer than lovers, so spending time together is not new, but being able to touch, kiss, and tell him what you feel is. While you think about how much you like the newness, Jason struggles to decide when or if to expose who he is.

He trusts you; he does, but he doesn’t want to scare you away or put a target on your back. Nightmares about you finding out and leaving while he’s gone plagued him for months after returning to Gotham and seeing you again. 

“Do you have to go back to the manor yet?”

Jason shakes his head, looping an arm around your shoulders. “You’re stuck with me for a few more hours.”

“Oh no.”

Jason pulls you against his side, smiling as he kisses the top of your head.

Not yet, he decides. Not never, just not yet.

✯✯✯✯✯

Jason feels Dick’s eyes on the side of his mask, a distorted sigh leaking out.

“What do you want?” he asks.

“You didn’t tell her,” Dick – Nightwing – accuses.

“We’re kinda in the middle of something here, Wing.”

“They can wait. Right, criminals?” Dick asks over his shoulder.

“Sure,” one of them answers, a batarang through his jacket keeping him stuck to an alley wall. “Take your time.”

Dick raises his hands to ask, “Why?”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell me what to do,” Jason sighs.

“Changed my mind. Look, I obviously understand the purpose of secret identities, but you love her, and she deserves to know.”

“You haven’t told your girl?” the thief asks. “Why not?”

“Shut up,” Jason growls through the hood.

“What are you really scared of?” Dick whispers before turning away.

Jason and Dick leave the criminal in the alley when police sirens approach, finding a rooftop to wait on. Gotham is never quiet for long, and breaks on patrol are few and far between.

“I’m going to tell her,” Dick announces. “Not about you. About me. Maybe that will convince you.”

“Don’t.”

“Jaybird.”

“Don’t ‘Jaybird’ me, Dick,” Jason argues, standing and pacing. “You don’t understand what I’m dealing with here. You tell Babs you’re Nightwing and she says, ‘Oh, wow, thanks for keeping us safe.’ I tell the woman that I love that I’m Red Hood and her first thought is the duffel bag fiasco, or the suicide spike at Arkham, nothing about me being a savior.”

“Everyone in Gotham knows that you’re not like that anymore. Besides, knowing that you did something bad isn’t a make-or-break situation.”

“Begging for forgiveness won’t do much if she leaves while I’m on patrol.”

Dick tilts his head toward Jason. “You’ve thought about this.”

Jason flexes his arms as he links his hands behind his neck. “Every time I consider doing it, I have a nightmare about her leaving.”

“You’re letting a nightmare control you, Jay.”

“Just- give me a little time, Dick. I can protect her from everything without telling her. Me included.”

“What if she doesn’t want to be protected from you? What if she wants you as you are?”

✯✯✯✯✯

Jason can’t remember the last time he was this tired after patrol. Damian had too much sugar or something and drug Jason all over Gotham. He needs to see you, and as Red Hood makes his way through the streets of Gotham, Jason keeps his mind on you, prepared to ditch the helmet and hold you until he can’t anymore.

Meanwhile, you’re walking home from work. Jason likes to be on the phone with you while you walk alone, but it’s late, and he’s probably at a family dinner. Looking down at your phone, you have a short message from him, but before you read it, you walk into what feels like a brick wall.

Gloved hands grip your biceps to keep you upright, and when you look up, you see the infamous Red Hood looming over you. Your mind wavers between fight and flight as you try not to scream, leaning away with wide eyes. You swallow harshly, and the eye slits of the mask fix themselves on your face.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

You flinch back at the sound of his voice, and his hands immediately fall away from you. Falling back, you catch yourself on your hands and scoot backward, terrified of what he’ll do to you. Red Hood has been working with the bats and birds, but the memory of what he was like before still looms over Gotham like the rain clouds that never dissipate.

He steps back, moving his hand toward his belt, and you gasp, freezing where you are.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, standing slowly. “Please don’t hurt me.”

It’s Red Hood’s turn to freeze, and unknown to you, Jason is falling apart under the mask. The pure terror in your eyes is the exact thing he’s been trying to keep you from.

“It’s okay, it’s my fault,” he rushes to say, leaving his hands where you can see them. “I’m not going to touch you.”

You nod slowly, moving backward as you clearly don’t believe him. Once you reach the corner, you turn and run. If he wanted to follow you, he could do so with no problem, but you don’t spare a glance over your shoulder as you run as fast as you can toward your home.

Jason’s shoulders drop as he watches you run, beating himself up for everything: for not telling you, for scaring you, and for putting you in this position. He can’t tell you now; he missed his chance, and there’s no way you’ll want him. His nightmare is coming to life around him, and he can’t wake up.

Your phone is lying on the ground, and Jason stoops to pick it up, slipping it into his pocket. Maybe you’ll still want to see Jason tonight. If someone like him can be so lucky.

✯✯✯✯✯

Your keys slip from your fingers several times as you struggle to unlock your door. Panting and blinking quickly to keep your tears from falling, you finally open the door, and once you're inside, slam it behind you and lock all three deadbolts.

Leaning against the door, you slide down it and hug yourself, wishing you had picked up your phone. You want to call Jason; you need him, but hopefully, he’ll come over when he can.

Something flies past your window, and you leap to your feet, walking through every room to ensure all the windows are locked. 

✯✯✯✯✯

Jason takes his time following you. He can move quickly, especially for a guy his size, but after seeing how you looked at Red Hood, at him, he’s more than happy to go a little slower. Taking the long way, he drops his stuff off at his place, keeping your phone in his pocket.

As he walks, he wonders what to say or do to convince you to stay. Sure, you were terrified of Red Hood, not Jason Todd, but the two are not mutually exclusive and never will be. Part of him wants to take Dick’s advice and tell you, but the idea of it not working (or ending like he thinks he will) makes the decision impossible.

He takes a deep breath before knocking on your door, and when there’s no answer or footsteps inside, he hits the door again, saying your name.

“It’s me,” he adds.

Your footsteps sound before three deadbolts click. Opening the door, you move into the hallway to hug Jason tightly. He returns the hug, pulling you up against him as he carries you inside and closes the door behind him. Flipping all the deadbolts, he knows he can keep you safer than they ever could, but that requires trust. Trust from you and from him.

As you cling to him, his heart is torn between leaving you before he scares you again or comforting you all night. When you adjust your grip on him, pressing your cheek against his pec just above your heart, Jason decides to stay. 

If she’s this afraid of Red Hood, what will she do when she finds out who he is? Jason wonders.

Pushing the thoughts away, Jason holds you close, rubbing his hand up and down your back while the other rests against your hip. The weight of his arms against you is comforting, and you focus on his heartbeat and the sound of his voice.

“You’re alright,” he whispers, his voice rough. “Take a few deep breaths.”

You do as he says, attempting to match your breaths to his. It takes several minutes, but your heart rate slows as your breath evens out.

“Thank you,” you say, moving your chin against his chest to look up at him.

He smiles, though his lips stay together, and it’s not as big as usual, running a hand over your hair.

“Can I- can I talk to you about what happened?” you ask, leaning into his touch.

He nods, and something akin to dread flashes through his eyes. You write it off as nervousness that you were hurt or threatened, which wouldn’t be unbelievable in Gotham.

“I was walking home, I got off late but didn’t want to call you and bother you.”

Jason wonders how different things would be if you had called, but rather than interrupting, he nods to acknowledge he’s listening.

“Then I turned into an alley, and I bumped into Red Hood. And, I mean, I know he’s not the same as when he first arrived in Gotham.”

Hope blooms in Jason’s chest at your words.

“He works with Batman, and Nightwing, and the rest of them, and they’re good. I’ve heard from my coworkers who live in the Hill that he’s making a difference, for good, but,” you trail off, looking away from Jason as you shatter his hope that you see a different side of Red Hood. 

“But what?” he asks quietly.

You shrug, and Jason takes the opportunity to move. He pulls you with him as he sits up, tugging you into his lap as you look up at him. His arms wrap around your waist as his fingers brush up and down against your side.

“I think the reason he scared me so much is that there’s no way to tell what he’s thinking. The rest of them, you can see part of their face, but he hides everything. And he’s just so big, I looked up and felt so small that I knew if he wanted to hurt me, he could.”

He would never hurt you, Jason thinks.

“I guess I didn’t like being in that position where I knew he could do anything but had no way of knowing if he would.”

Jason leans back toward the back of the couch. The fear that you’re expressing is based on reasons that apply to him, the man under the mask.

“You got scared because he’s so big? And unreadable?” Jason clarifies, applying the adjectives to himself.

Your eyes are fixed on him, dropping to his shoulders and waist quickly, looking at his build (and noticing the shape of a phone in his pocket, aware that he set his to the side to hold you) before you hum. “Kinda like you,” you muse quietly.

Jason’s brows furrow, and you move your arms, causing Jason to drop one arm to his side.

You watch his movement, then look into his eyes. You lean toward him and smile, cocking your head as you ask, “But you can protect me. Right, red?”

[bywons]

CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST WOMEN, ITS HER FAULT?

RG KAR MEDICAL COLLEGE&HOSPITAL, THE HEINOUS ACTS

NOTE: THIS POST HAS INFO SOLELY BASED ON MY OWN RESEARCH, SOURCES FROM THE NEWS AND INTERNET SO CREDS OF SS TO THE OWNERS. if you have any other information regarding this case, please please do feel free to reblog this and share them, as i can't compile everything in one post due to the case being an ongoing one. I would appreciate if you could read all of it, I tried to keep it short and compact and easy enough for everyone to understand. Of course, I have to keep a few names and specific political parties and critism out of this for obvious reasons of this post being taken down, but trust me, karma is real.

Do tell me if I lack anything, will try my best to add it or make another post about it. WE WANT JUSTICE.

01 TAKE HER NAME, DON'T FORGET HER

Dr. Moumita Debnath, a junior female doctor, a 2nd year PGT at R G KAR medical college and hospital was gang r4ped and m4rdered in the college seminar hall, while she was in a 36 hr shift, in 9th of August, 2024, Kolkata.

R G KAR, a reputed college and hospital, only allowing the top of brains to enter its premises, has now lost it's name to this heinous crime. Moumita debnath's perpetrators live to this day and the college authorities are yet to pay any heed. Why?

That poor girl was bleeding from her eyes, vagina, with disfigured limbs and broken collarbones, bite marks, broken pelvic girdle and hyoid bone several other signs of struggle and violence ( attached report below ) Even her legs were forcefully coaxed apart, that her bones were broken. 150 gms of sperm was have been discovered from her body, when a male individual can only transfer a maximum of 15 gms. Can you imagine her pain? What did she do to deserve this pain and suffering, this heinous crime against her? Can you imagine how her parents must have felt to hear the news?

Oh, I forgot. This absolute blood boiling, gut wrenching and demonic of an act was immediately announced as a "SU3CIDE" upon initial FIR, and to her parents, by authorities. Can't you see? How they tried to coarctate the matter by calling it a su3cide?

How can a girl with extreme signs of violence and r4pe on her body, with little to no clothes, broken limbs, bleeding eyes, commit a su4cide? THIS IS A BLOT ON THE AUTHORITIES WHO ARE CLEARING VIEWING THIS MATTER AS A JOKE no girl in that condition can commit a su3cide, do you really think people are THAT DUMB?? that we won't notice you trying to cover up this case??

02 TAMPER THE EVIDENCE, HIDE THE CRIMINAL

Dr. Moumita Debnath's body was cremated without her parents' approval/permission. They were kept waiting for 3 fucking hours. As if to get rid of her body as soon as they can with minimal autopsy, before CBI could even start investigation.

As soon as this case was handed over from WBPD ( west bengal police department ) to CBI ( central bereau of intelligence ) mobs have barged in and LITERALLY DAMAGED THE WALLS BESIDE THE SEMINAR HALL ( the crime scene ) inside the college premises. And for what? Come on we know it all, for removal of some obvious evidence.

On 14th august, during the middle of the night which was during the ‘RAAT DOKHOLE MEYERA’ ( girls reclaim the night ) rally, in RG KAR, mobs yet again managed to infiltrate the college premises to cause damage again, this time targeting specific cctv cameras as well. They also vandalised public property and vehicles in a "profesional" way. — “MBBS student Anupam Roy, an eyewitness to the mob attack, said the mob's act was deliberate with the clandestine motive of ending their agitation.” — from Hindustan Times.

They even CAUSED HARM TO THE WASHROOMS OF THE FLOOR WHERE EVIDENCE COULD'VE BEEN FOUND. The motive of the mob is obvious— to tamper the evidence in order to protect the perpetrators.

03. POLITICS BEFORE BASIC LAW & ORDER?

Political parties are busy blaming each other and throwing dirt on names, meanwhile also trying to hide the perpetrators and start protests against opposition parties. Is your political position and meaningless arguments more valuable than a girl's life which been lost so brutally? Can we not keep politics aside, just for a moment and try to bring the girl justice? These thick skinned selfish monsters don't feel the pain of her parents, the emotions of helpless women and the crime they're commiting themselves.

They are slowly shifting away from the main matter of bringing her justice, trying to coarctate is slowly by heavy politics. Well the public is not dumb, we can see it all and understand how our CM doesn't even care about this situation.

SHAME ON YOU, the authorities, you're are only hope in this city in this state and you're acting this way?! Do you not have spines? Is money and votes everything to you? How low is too low and why is it the west bengal government?

They even have an accused suspect in custody ( Sanjoy Roy ) whom everybody is calling a scapegoat, which he possibly could be regarding the governments recent inactivities towards the situation. They are even giving out orders to resist rallies and protests, such a fucking disgrace, cause then vandalism and tampering of evidence is right but not raising your voice against it?

04. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE?

This year marks the 77th independent year for India, but are we really? Women are not safe at night walking along the streets their own ancestors fought for, women are not safe in their own workplace working shifts, women are not safe in public transport, in their homes, neighbourhood, schools, colleges, NOWHERE ARE WE ALLOWED TO HAVE A PEACEFUL BREATHE. But for how long? It's been 12 years since we witnessed a similar, horrible and atrocious crime as NIRBHAYA, only for it to happen again. This shows how weak, corrupted, and unjust Indian judiciary system has become, and as an Indian myself, it ashames me deeply to admit this. We are failing as a society, still not being able to create a safe environment for our women.

But time has come now to raise our voice and fists together against this oppressive, corrupt government and snatch our own freedom ourselves. DONT YOU EVER FORGET ABOUT HER, TAKE AND HER NAME AND PROMISE YOURSELF TO BRING HER JUSTICE. If we forget and give up, god knows how many others will die like this without any justice. Justice is ours and we will have it, there is no point of being 'independent' if we have to do candle marches every other day, mourn for our women every other day, be scared of letting our daughter out every other day.

This is time, we rise up as one.

We want the actual criminals to be punished a hundred times more cruelly than Dr. Moumita Debnath was k!lied.

WE WANT JUSTICE. BRUTAL PUNISHMENT TO THE CRIMINALS.

ALL EYES ON RG KAR. ALL EYES ON DOCTORS. JUSTICE FOR MOUMITA DEBNATH.

tagging few of my moots. @leaderwon @rainytapestry @fertilizedtoesw @atrirose @hoonvrs @flwrstqr @mioons @dioll @okwonyo @okwons @heeblurs @weoris @junislqve @jlheon @sainns @hyeinism @fleurre @soov @isoobie @boyfhee @jjunae @onlyjjong @wonfilms @kissofhoon @voikiraz @koishua

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friends i love them?

okay, hear me out before writing this off as fake or “trying to make the other party look bad”. i promise this is a genuine problem i need to have figured out.

i (20) am autistic so i have a hard time telling when i do something wrong, and it’s difficult for me to make friends. however, i was part of an online friend group for ~3-4 years. i was the oldest and the others (17-19) all knew each other irl, so it felt a little awkward (to me) for me to be there, but i considered them my closest friends and my only safe space to be myself.

in the time we were friends, i made some mistakes, some of which i’d rather not get into for personal reasons. but recently the group decided they didn’t want me there anymore, so i was kicked from the discord server and they all blocked me. i was sent a long message about why, and that’s where my confusion starts.

in the message, they brought up some things that didn’t make sense to me as a “bad” thing.

1. they said i’d talked to them about drugs and alcohol “while [they] were still minors”, which is true, but misleading when it’s just said like that. what i actually did was infodump about safe use, because it happened to be one of my fixations at the time, and sometimes mention being high in my channel, but nothing more than that. as for them being minors, some were 17 and some were 18, so it’s really not that different to having DARE come and talk to you about drugs, at least in my eyes. i never encouraged them to use, i never told them to use, and i never gave them resources to use. i only talked about safe use.

2. this is where my title comes in. they told me i was guilttripping and manipulating them by talking about them being my “longest friends” and telling them i loved them. point blank, nothing more to it, that’s what they said. along with that was an added “we know that’s not how you meant it but the effect was there”. this is what i don’t understand and why i need to know if i’m actually a bad person for this or not. yes, i’d talk about them being my longest friends, because i was grateful they had stuck around so long. i’d tell them i loved them just off the bat, whenever i wanted to tell them. it was never about guilttripping or manipulating them, it was always about wanting to show that i appreciated them.

3. this one is a hard one i think. they said that i’d “never disproven [my] ex’s accusations”. i don’t really want to get into what happened which my ex since i know i made mistakes in that relationship, but what’s important to note here is that i had sent my ex’s accusations to one member of the group who’d then sent me a text telling me that they believed i was different now.

this is the text copy-pasted:

“it's definitely a rough situation. but since i know *y'all*, i definitely believe your side. not to mention, you acknowledged your mistakes and the things you did. and i think for all the statements they made about "they knew we had [this traumal", they should've had proof of y'all discussing that. like i can say my girlfriend knows i have body image issues, but i could totally be pulling that out of my ass, you can't just take my word for it. they can't just say things without proof, especially if the things they say could *ruin* y'all's life.”

but in the message as to why i was no longer in the group, they said that actually they didn’t believe me at all, which completely contradicts that text.

and yeah, that’s my explanation of the situation. i genuinely don’t know if i’m the asshole or not, and i’ve been beating myself up about it. this whole situation has made my trust in friends go down, especially since i trusted that group with everything about me. any advice is welcome too.

thank you for listening. have a great day. :)

What are these acronyms?

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Genshin Impact

May I request an Arlecchino concept?

I can try. I stopped playing Genshin during Sumeru, so this is primarily me researching and gaining info from the internet and friends. I hope you enjoy this regardless of that :) Doesn't help that we still don't have much info on her....

Yandere! Arlecchino Concept

(Pre-Version 4.6)

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Violence, Blood, Mentions of murder, Subtle possessive behavior, Kidnapping mention, Isolation, Dubious/Forced companionship/relationship.

Arlecchino seems to be manipulative, acting as a spy for the Fatui.

Her main objective is to find the Hydro Gnosis, prying about to find the true Hydro Archon.

She acts kind, often being described as a "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing".

She wants others to trust her... but we can assume she is willing to use others like most other Fatui.

Arlecchino would originally see her obsession over her darling as a distraction to her goals.

When you meet Arlecchino, she comes off as cordial and graceful.

She's strict but still capable of being lenient towards subordinates.

Other Fatui feel she is acting and isn't truthful with her motives, loyalty, and behavior.

This manipulative behavior of hers makes it easy for her to hide her obsession.

If she does have some sort of interest in you, she hides her true motives.

Imagine if Arlecchino had Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet gain info on you.

She never says why, just asking them to learn more about you.

When they're busy, Arlecchino herself watches you closely to know more about you.

She doesn't understand her obsession... which is why she spends time getting information on you.

After all, your presence drives her thoughts crazy.

Arlecchino is very tactical in her way of thinking, carefully gaining info on you.

You barely can tell her obsession when she speaks to you for one reason or another.

Although it is odd to others that she seems so interested in you (Mostly the Fatui are intrigued).

Her views of a platonic or romantic relationship towards you are naturally quite twisted.

She's literally the Knave, so....

A platonic obsession is obviously not the typical "friends/allies" relationship.

That's not even getting into the idea of her having a romantic fascination over you.

Arlecchino will come off kind and cordial towards her obsession.

You won't catch her true motives until it's too late.

She tries to play off your conversations as "friendly chatter".

For once maybe she doesn't want to be diplomatic, yeah?

But then she begins asking oddly specific questions about you.

Arlecchino, despite claiming to be a friend, seems to want to know too much.

All the while she tries her best to keep up the trust between you two.

Arlecchino treats speaking with her darling as a balancing act.

She tries to maintain your trust with truths and lies... along with gather more information on you to fuel her obsession.

As her obsession grows... she even considers isolating you.

Those too close to what's hers is done away with.

May her polearm be coated in blood and the smell of burning flesh greet her nose...

Many will perish by her hand if it means she can have her new obsession all to herself.

When Arlecchino has enough of waiting around and gathering research, she'll escalate her obsession.

It's either the moment she loses your trust or gets impatient that sets her off.

She can't lose you to anyone or anything... you drive her insane.

Do you really think... you can just leave her now?

By the time you learn of her true identity, by the time you see how unhinged you make her...

You're taken away.

You're thrown in a cell, somewhere where none can find you.

She doesn't let any other Fatui touch you.

You're hers now, the person who had been driving her insane is now within her grasp.

She doesn't apologize for her manipulation.

Obviously Arlecchino doesn't care if you feel betrayed... much.

Even when she tries to reach out to caress your face... you flinch away and it hurts her a bit.

Despite this... she never lets you go.

You're hers... it's final....

She doesn't even care if you call her a monster as long as she has you.

Arlecchino clearly cares for you to some degree...

That's why you're here, all alone, with just her by your side... isn't it?

[missmonsters2]

—KAIROSCLEROSIS | TEN (FINAL)

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x OFC/Fem!Reader

Summary: Everything comes to settle in the aftermath. You're healing and Wednesday takes the time to consider what she's experiencing until she picks it apart in a way she can tolerate it. You are hers, though. That is for certain.

Warnings: softsoftsoftsoft. so soft. Wednesday is soft. cuddling. happy ending. healing. bantering. did i say soft? crying it's so soft. satisfying aftermath. the nickname bet comes to an end. soft in case you were unaware.

Series Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3

Reminder there's no taglist, but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Note: book 1 has come to an end! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported this series <3 Sequel is on it's way along with some oneshots! series masterlist has been re-edited with info.

Part Nine

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Kairosclerosis: Noun. The moment you realize that you're currently happy—consciously trying to savor the feeling—which prompts your intellect to identify it, pick it apart, and put it in context, where it will slowly dissolve until it's little more than an aftertaste.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wednesday sits beside your hospital bed, quietly reading Goody's spellbook. The only noise is the sound of your quiet breathing and the steady beeping from the machine that monitors your heart rate. 

The spellbook is coming in handy already. Wednesday has just discovered a better remedial salve—one that should actually speed up the healing process. Once Enid arrives, Wednesday would be free to go and gather the ingredients she needed. She would need some honey from Eugene's bees, and she recalled a plant in the greenhouse with the pulp she needed.

A particularly deep breath draws Wednesday's attention from her book. Her head tilts slightly over as she peers at you. Your eyes are closed, unaware of anything as you slept on. You had to be put on your stomach so that your wings could rest without anything touching them. 

The reopened wounds had to be stitched back together and then bandaged, which the doctor noted would have to be for two weeks and frequently changed. Wednesday was merely waiting for you to be discharged, and she could take your healing into her own hands. The nurse earlier had received a scathing glare when she was not delicate in changing your bandages yesterday, causing your brows to furrow as you slept on. 

Morons, Wednesday vehemently decided then. They couldn't be trusted with you. 

"You should wake up soon," Wednesday says, even though you never reply. She doesn't even know if you're listening. "It's much too sunny without you."

"Wednesday," Enid sighs as she walks into the room, a new bouquet of flowers in her hands. "Why are you up again? You're supposed to be resting too. You got stabbed in the arm!"

"This is hardly anything," Wednesday raises her brow as she closes the spellbook and puts it back into her bag. "It honestly hurts more when I punch Pugsley."

“You mean when Pugsley punches you?”

“No.”

"Still," Enid frowns, looking over her roommate. Despite only having been two days since the ordeal, Wednesday threatened the hospital staff to discharge her mere hours after she got cleaned and fixed up. 

You could barely tell that Wednesday was injured by the way she continued wearing long sleeves, tidy braids, and lack of reaction. The only visible sign was the bandage she had to wear over her temple. 

"Fae will be upset if you refuse to rest and heal when she wakes up." Enid looks over to you, biting her bottom lip. A part of her wants to cry at how banged up you looked. She knew—could smell how much blood there was that night. But now you really looked broken with the machines hooked up to you and the red-stained bandages wrapped over your wings. 

It was worse than when Eugene was in the hospital last year. 

Wednesday looks at you once more as she prepares to leave. Your back rises and falls with each steady breath. "Then I suppose she'll have to wake up if she wants me to even consider listening to her grievances against me."

Walking out the door, Wednesday doesn't spare you another glance as she walks down the corridors. The nurses give her a wide berth, the lights flickering as she walks. 

A room comes up as she makes her way to the stairwell. There are two police guards posted outside. As she passes, she looks into the window and sees a lanky boy with messy hair and gauze bandages wrapped around his eyes and head. He's completely unaware. 

Wednesday smiles sinisterly. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"Miss Addams," Weems greets as she puts down her fancy fountain pen, gesturing for Wednesday to come closer.

Wednesday wordlessly takes a seat, her face impassive. 

They stare at each other for a long moment before Weems lets out a long, tired sigh. She pinches the bridge of her nose before she looks at the macabre girl. 

"How are your classes going?" Weems asks.

Wednesday looks unimpressed as she lets out a dull "Fine."

"I hear you're taking class notes for Fae when she wakes up," Weems smiles then, and Wednesday narrows her eyes.

"Only because Enid's writing is so cacographic that it'd be more legible if it was put through a shredder."

Weem merely chuckles, rubbing her temples. "The reason I've called you to my office is that the investigation is finally coming to an end." Weems folds her hands together on the desk in front of her. "I know you've given the police your statement, but I thought I'd get the event recounted by you myself."

"I've assumed you read the report?" Wednesday asks, her chin jilted slightly. 

Weems nods.

"Then you already know what happened. I will not be changing my story," Wednesday raises her brow. "She was kidnapped. I found the clues to where she was and the fact that Henry was the culprit. When I arrived, she was unconscious and chained to the table, poisoned with a draeconium potion."

Wednesday watches as Weems's hands tighten slightly.

"Henry gave his unremarkable sob story before we engaged in combat. The noises woke her up, and she freed herself before she defended us against Henry."

"I noticed you weren't very descriptive in this area in your report," Weems points out.

"Everything she did was something only a high lord's daughter or a night faerie would be able to do, so I will keep it to myself. The police are welcome to come and try to get an answer out of me," Wednesday's eyes glint as she gives a sharp smile, "but at their own risk."

Weems gives a wry smile and waves her hand for Wednesday to continue.

"Henry's desperation to attack us and gain the upper hand led him to strain his eyes and lose consciousness. At that moment, Enid and everyone else barged in as they finally escaped his mindscape. We all made our way back here to get medical help."

Weems stares at Wednesday after the girl finishes recounting the story. "I see," the principal says evenly after a moment. "And that was what happened? Henry lost consciousness and you left him there immediately after?"

"Yes. I wasn't going to go out of my way to bring back a kidnapper and our attempted murderer," Wednesday shrugs. 

"He could have died," Weems emphasizes pointedly. "Which would've been another death here at Nevermore two years in a row."

"His failure to kill us both is his own fault. He should deal with the consequences of it himself. The authorities were able to get them, were they not? I hear he's resting in his own guarded room." There was a telling smirk on Wednesday's face.

"Yes," Weems's voice is hard. "Though I'm sure you know the guards are useless, considering he no longer has eyes and can't use his gift anymore."

"I heard rumors around the hospital," Wednesday's face was indifferent again. 

"Wednesday," Weems sighs. "This was a disaster. Henry Morrison Sr wants to further investigate the disappearance of his son's eyes. He's convinced that they were surgically removed and considering there was only you in this situation that was conscious, he wants to press charges against you."

"Is he an absolute moron?" Wednesday raises her brow. "Is he not aware of what his son attempted to do?"

"Yes, well—"

"I encourage him to try to press charges against me with the lack of evidence he has. This case would be so laughable, I wouldn't even need to hire legal help with how guaranteed my victory is."

"Yes," Weems cuts in before Wednesday can say anything else. "And I told him as such."

Wednesday sharply looks at the principal, her eyes full of suspicion. She has no doubts that Weems knew she had gouged out Henry's eyes. After all, she had timed it perfectly for the authorities to arrive on time before he could die. 

The optic nerve was completely severed to ensure his psychic abilities could never manifest again, and then she fed his eyeballs to the fish in the river as she rowed her way back. 

"I have informed Mr. Morrison Sr that back in 1956, there was a similar incident where a psychic had over-exerted himself, resulting in his eyes bursting and it seemed that may be the case here." Weems's eyes seem to search for something in Wednesday, but it doesn't seem like she's looking for the truth. "There's no proof indicating otherwise. With that, Henry Jr is expelled, obviously."

"Will he be going to jail like Tyler?" Wednesday's quick to ask.

"Well, considering only one student attacked—no, I'm not counting you as you foolishly went after Fae alone—it's not enough to warrant having the academy file charges—"

"Of course," Wednesday hisses disdainfully. "We wouldn't want to potentially harm the school's impeccable reputation—"

"—That being said," Weems cut in forcefully, giving Wednesday a stern look. "As Fae's guardian, I am personally filing charges. I'm quite confident Morrison Sr will want to accept the plea bargain when we meet next week, lest he wants a long, grueling court battle where I will drag his family name through the mud."

Wednesday went quiet. She doesn't apologize, but there's a mild look of respect in Wednesday’s eyes. Her eyes flicker down and then back up. "Why did you want me to recount the report if the investigation has obviously concluded?"

Weems gathers the paper on her desk, shuffling them to line up. "I merely wanted to hear the events in your own words, as the police will still want Fae's matching statement when she awakens."

Wednesday stares on.

"I'm dismissing you for the day," Weems says as she puts the papers back on her desk. "I'm rather tied up with things I cannot put off, and I have a meeting in half an hour. There's a car waiting for you at the gates."

"Why—" Wednesday starts to ask, but she can feel her heart thudding against her ribcage almost painfully, and she relishes in it. 

"I have let the hospital staff know you'll be arriving to check her out on my authorization. I have already handled her discharge papers over the phone earlier. Listen to me for once and arrive before the police do," Weems says, dismissing Wednesday.

Wednesday gets up and walks out of the office briskly. She begins to walk towards the gates outside but stops. Turning towards her room, Wednesday first goes there and picks up the fuzzy black blanket, folding it neatly together, then draping it over her arm. She grabs a single grape lollipop from Enid's desk before she takes the shortest way to the front gates. 

The ride feels tediously long, and Wednesday snaps at the driver to drive faster. It barely comes to a stop before Wednesday gets out and walks through the hospital doors. She doesn't make herself known to the front desk receptionists and takes the stairwell up and down the memorized pathway to room 316. 

The door is already open, but there's no noise inside. There's a moment when Wednesday's heart drops at the lack of noise. Wednesday's used to feeling miserable; it brings her comfort and joy now even to feel so. Occasionally, she'll feel a type of misery she could live without. 

Wednesday's never been aware of how un-miserable she wants to be as she approaches your door. 

The moment Wednesday steps in, her face doesn't change at all. If anything, she looks more dispassionate than usual. 

But she blinks. 

"Hi, Wednesday."

You've probably said it hundreds of times now. You've said it in the same tone over and over, but Wednesday suddenly feels like it's better than any music she's heard. It even sounds better than Pugsley's screams. 

You're smiling at her. You look tired with the bags and dark circles under your eyes, but you're alive, and you look so—Wednesday clenches her jaw—hers. You just look like hers. Franz Kafka said it best: you are the knife she turns inside herself. 

"You are so cruel, Wednesday. I wake up to make your world less sunny, and you bring me only one grape lollipop? Rest assured you'll be listening to the grievances I have against you."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"We should get up soon, I need to apply your salve."

"Can't you just apply it like this? You did yesterday."

"Need I remind you how long it took and in the end, I had to get up to get to the places I couldn't reach."

"I think I can stretch my wings further today. You might not have to get up."

Wednesday sighs at your mutterings but leaves it be. You'll probably be more agreeable to moving in an hour anyway. 

Your body is a steady weight on top of hers, and you radiate a warmth that Wednesday thought would make her uncomfortable with how cool her body normally is. But it just makes everything tepid, and Wednesday finds she has a penchant for it. 

Your head rests against her chest, and you once commented how eerie it was that it was such a slow and quiet heartbeat, like she might as well be dead. The words were entirely flattering. 

Wednesday stares at the ceiling; she knows you're slowly falling asleep again. The past two weeks, you've been rather boring as all you can do is rest, but Wednesday finds it gives her a lot of time to think.

Her story has slowly been changing—it has been ever since she's grown closer to you. Between the mysteries and the morbidity of everything, her main character seems to be experiencing something else too. 

Wednesday thinks about what it means to her and comes to an utterly disgusting conclusion. 

She's happy. 

It's so repugnant that Wednesday constantly sneers at herself. She has no desire to expand on it, but she'll catch herself thinking of useless things. It dampens the happiness into something Wednesday's also unfamiliar with, and she can't decide which is worse. 

Wednesday's fingers trail over the arches of your wings, feeling the bone just underneath the soft feathers. Your wing twitches, but you say nothing. She continues her exploration of her wings, careful over the wounds that are still slowly healing but have been much better with the salve she created using Goody's spellbook. 

Your wings start trilling when Wednesday reaches further toward the middle. The skin is thinner there, but the feathers are lush and thick.

"Tickles," you mumble, your brows furrowing but not opening your eyes.

Wednesday glances down at you before she pulls the blanket up higher. "Come with me to my manor on the next Parents' Day."

You let out a big yawn, ruffling your feathers with a small shake. "Are you sure?" You mumble, still sleepy.

"My mother invited you."

You hum. "Sure, it'd be nice to see where you live. I think I'll want to have dinner with Larissa on Friday night, but I can leave after."

"We'll go together on Saturday morning."

"'kay," you mutter sleepily. 

There's a lull in silence again, and Wednesday feels discontentment in her chest. She wonders if you can hear it as you lay over her heart.

Wednesday clears her throat. "I have thought of a moniker for you."

She can feel you smiling.

"Oh?" You say amusedly, but you continue to lay there with your eyes closed. "Let's hear it."

"I believe we should just stick with Fae. We've already gone on too long, and there'd be no point in changing it now. Even if other faeries came to this school, there's still only one Fae. You'd merely confuse everyone with a new alias."

You let out a laugh then, shifting in Wednesday's arms. "It took you six months to come to that conclusion? Did you even come up with anything else?"

"Nothing that I would allow anyone else to call you," Wednesday huffs with annoyance, still cursing her father's passed-on nicknaming abilities.

"Why not?"

Silence again. Wednesday seems to be debating her discontentment before she says, "you are mine."

It's so simple, the words and the way she says it. 

You finally open your eyes as you lift your head to look up at Wednesday, who is resting against the headboard of your bed. She looks at you as if challenging you to say otherwise. 

"So, we're dating?" You tilt your head.

"Yes," Wednesday says with finality but also looks pained at the frivolous words and then sighs. "I never thought I'd be capable of wanting someone like this. I don't do feelings but all you make me do is feel things I have to research later."

"What kind of words?"

"Ridiculous words that I'm convinced are fake," Wednesday deadpans. "Regardless, I don't do feelings, but the idea of not experiencing more with you is unbearable."

"You're mine then?" you say, and it's more of a statement than a question.

"I am," Wednesday confirms.

You let out a soft laugh, and Wednesday tilts her head. 

"I never thought I'd ever have anyone to call mine," you say with a quiet smile. "I have very few things, Wednesday. I promise to treat you very well."

Wednesday nods once, her fingers tracing over a feather. You lift yourself higher with your hands, coming face to face with the grim girl, your nose brushing against hers. She was so serious looking.

"I discovered last year that I'm capable of evolving," Wednesday says quietly, her lips brushing against yours as her hands rest on the small of your back. "It's inequitable how much you've affected me."

You smile widely then, your lips parting in a huff of laughter. They're so ridiculous. Really, you're made for her, and she's made for you. "Wednesday, you've changed me since the day I laid my eyes on you." You kiss her, and the only noise in the room is the sound of your wings gently fluttering with excitement and Wednesday's stolen breath.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"I believe I've come up with an acceptable arrangement of your epithet," Wednesday declares. "I'm owed your phone number."

You don't even look at her as you blindly reach for your phone on your desk, too comfortable to move from lying on top of Wednesday as you cuddle.

Wednesday watches you fiddle around on your device before her phone in her sweater pocket vibrates. 

She pulls her phone out and sees there's a text from you.

(xxx)-xxx-xxxx: save this number 😗

"What is the meaning of this?" Wednesday asks, her voice low and dangerous, but you seem unbothered.

"You have my number now?"

"You had my phone number this entire time?" Wednesday feels something brewing inside of her, and it's mainly murder. 

You nod, still lying on top of her with your eyes closed. "Enid gave it to me after the bet was made."

"Why?" Wednesday demanded.

"Because I asked for it?"

"Then why make the ridiculous bet? Did you enjoy listening to such brainless suggestions?" 

"I told you," you smile. "I only make bets where I'll win either way. I wanted you to come up with something and win to give you the excuse of asking for my number. If you didn't, then Enid was already giving up and about to suggest we stick to Fae the next time it got brought up. I would've texted you after the bet was over."

Wednesday stares down at you, and she bores into the side of your head and plots silently.

"You are detestable, but I respect your strategy and deception. Although, regardless of the fact you are mine will not save you from my revenge."

You finally look up at Wednesday's unimpressed stare and smile at her. 

"Threatening me with a good time again, are you?"

END

EPILOGUE 1

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Hope you enjoyed the series! :)

I will be opening up a temporary taglist of 50 people to be notified when the oneshots and sequel is up! Comment or reblog on this post only to be added (pls don't send to my inbox bc i will miss it 💔) you can still always follow my library blog for notifs @missmonsters2-library

[crispy0nion]

if you pay attention to non-voiced dialogue, side quests and drip marketing posts you might've realized already, but

Billy Kid used to be a member of the Sons of Calydon.

it's not like it has been outright stated but with the amount of hints the game has given, i think it's a safe bet. we don't know the implications of this connection as of now considering how little we know about SoC, but i think we'll get more info in 1.3, along with Caesar's release. with that being said, let's get into it.

starting easy, Billy's jacket. red, and with a boar. need i say more?

not exactly the same, but definitely close enough to have a connection.

moving on, most of the hints can be found in Billy's trust quests. they are triggered randomly (and I assume some of them are only available at a certain trust level) but I think as long as you level up his trust you are bound to get the ones I will be talking about.

first off is the Sixth Street Motor Legend one. you meet Billy on one end of Sixth Street, near the Workshop, and he tells you about this legendary biker who drives his super fast motorbike by Sixth Street at midnight every night. he compares it to the bikes of the Outer Ring, which is where SoC - which we know to be bikers - reside. when questioned on his interest, he mentions how he was just interested in seeing the legendary bike since he himself used to own and ride a bike when he lived and worked in the Outer Ring.

in the second part of this event, he goes to question Enzo, convinced that the legendary biker is him. as Billy described the SSML to him, he uses the words "crimson nightmare" (because the bike is red), which seem to remind Enzo of something. he denies being the biker, but brings up an old customer of his who "fits that description". he describes this guy: member of an OR biker gang, pretty well known in his circle, had white hair and a red scarf. and his name was "Starlight Knight". as soon as he says that, Billy says "that's my name!" which is odd even for a diehard fanboy. he quickly accepts Enzo's words, as if wanting to dismiss the topic, and the Proxy brings up how he seems to be acting suspicious. And then Billy just hurries off. Which is suspicious. If you try interacting with him after the quest is over, he says "Maybe... the Sixth Street Motor Legend should remain a mystery, after all."

in another trust event, he tells the Proxy he used to live in a big truck a long time ago, and he seems to know a lot about cars. both are things that are typically associated with the SoC, iirc.

lastly, there's the Hollow Zero quest. Billy asks the Proxy to bring him to explore the Hollow, and after starting the exploration, you run into some bandits. nothing of note happens in the dialogue before the fight, aside from the leader of the bandits mentioning how Billy looks familiar. in the dialogue after the fight though, some stuff comes up. the leader starts noticing more things about Billy: the white hair is brought up again, and he seems to recognize the red jacket as well. he says "Could it be that you're the legendary-" but Billy interrupts him. and as soon as he's done talking, the leader yells "Run! We don't wanna mess with this guy!" and leaves in a hurry. following that you can question Billy, who seems to be hiding something. his answer convinced me for good that something's up. he says "everyone has a past. you're no different, right? you can't change the past, which is what makes the present and the future far more important." the game wants you to know there's more to his character.

to those who might be wondering why i would bring up the bandits recognizing Billy when it's likely that they simply know him for being a Cunning Hare, let me tell you: that's probably not it. The Cunning Hares aren't famous, they're broke and underground, and would definitely not strike that much fear into Hollow Raiders. the Sons of Calydon though... they might. and as a cherry on top, I doubt "Billy Kid of the Cunning Hares" is even close to being a legendary figure.

i was going to make this post sooner, but I was worried it wouldn't be enough to prove my point. then Caesar was drip marketed today, and...

you don't call the leader of the SoC "Big Sis" if you don't have a past with her, or the entire faction.

maybe there's more stuff i missed. maybe i'm being delusional. but I still invite you to join the "1.3 Billy Kid lore drop" prayer circle. anyways thanks for reading my ramble I just really like it when the silly robot guy with guns has a Past.

[cochart]

One thing that struck me as interesting recently is the almost unreasonable trust people have for ChatGPT.

Recently, I ran across a Youtube video where the creator was talking about how she asked ChatGPT this and that and how convenient it was. This was strange to me as a simple Google search is able to do the same thing.

For example, this is what I get when I search a question "Is Rigel hotter than Betelgeuse?" Google tells me that indeed Rigel is hotter than Betelgeuse. It also tells me that the info comes from the New Mexico State University website which I'd say is pretty trustworthy. So I don't see how using ChatGPT to ask such questions is easier or faster.

But there is a difference--that difference being that with ChatGPT, you're being "told" the information. Basically, you feel more catered to. When you use Google search, you feel like you're foraging for information. When you use ChatGPT, you feel like you have an assistant. There is a feeling of having something mysteriously intelligent answering your question for you.

I've also seen people who post delighted screenshots of ChatGPT telling them something they wanted to hear whether it's a snarky remark about their ex-boyfriend or a smart-ish commentary on sexism. People are free to find enjoyment in anything as long as it doesn't hurt other people, but what I found so interesting was how happy these people were that it was ChatGPT that told them this or that. It's one thing to feel happy and encouraged by a specific engineer you admire saying that she wishes for a future where more women enter STEM, but why does it matter if a machine-learning algorithm spews out a sentence--probably synthesized from millions of words it scraped from people who said something similar--that you like? How is it more meaningful than, say, a fortune you randomly drew?

Here's fortune that I drew. It's from Kanda Shrine if I remember correctly. It says I'm very lucky moneywise. My friend made fun of me saying that the fortune was correct because I didn't find any merch I wanted on that day which meant I spent much less than I planned to. Anyway, ChatGPT saying whatever means no more to me than a random fortune I can buy from a shrine. I'd even say it means less than a fortune from a shrine since a shrine at least has some cultural significance. Also, it might mean something for spiritual people (Perhaps ChatGPT fans are techno-spiritual?)

My conclusion is that we shouldn't let techbros fool us into thinking that these algorithmic tools are intelligent in any capacity. The language surrounding these tools treat them as though they're independent, intelligent entities which they're not. I know a lot of my followers--you Tolkien fans--are passionate about language, so you'd know what I'm talking about. Language is a powerful tool. Right now, it's being used to mask the theft and lies of these tech capitalists. But we shouldn't let ourselves be fooled.

[blamemma]

miss blamemma, please could you detail what you think happened between michael and daniel for the rest of us that are obsessed with the drama?!

i truly wish i could just upload the voicenotes i've sent to the besties today about this because that would be SO much easier but ok here we go....

i don't think there is one cataclysmic event that led them to fall out, i think it's an amalgamation of a couple of things.

privacy and money; michael loves popularity, loves money, loves business, loves social media, montesises his drivers (he's doing that now with his reels of yuki as well). there has to come a point, for me, where that crosses the boundaries of your role as a trainer. as a trainer, you have to be there for your driver, your driver is your number one priority. if that driver no longer feels they can trust you, then you are not doing your job. michael going on multiple podcasts and dropping tidbits about daniel's life and training and difficulties here and there is not a good look, and i think of the most telling is that testosterone article. michael worked with daniel for the last 5 years so people are going to presume that it is about daniel and on the back of that i saw multiple articles that were headlined something along the fucked up lines of "daniel ricciardo's trainer reveals he broke sex ban with hot young girlfriend heidi berger" (here & here and there are definitely more examples!) and daniel is a relatively private guy about his relationship so having that blasted everywhere cause ur ex-trainer talked about male hormones?? and then yeah u have that podcast thing today....

i have no proof, but i truly believe that michael wanted daniel to take the haas or williams seat so that he (michael) could stay in f1 because again, being in this prestigious sports gets him followers and engagement = money. therefore, when daniel went to him for advice michael may not have been open and willing to daniel's idea of a sabbatical, because it didn't really mean employment for michael (to caveat here, not having job security is a very daunting thing, and i am not saying michael is wrong for worrying about this, however, michael is paid and contracted by daniel and i dont think daniel would have been paying him a cheap wage these past 5 years)

i think daniel has had the time to step away from mclaren, process what happened there, enter red bull again and see how they manage their drivers, move to alpha tauri and see how they manage and speak about their drivers and then truly assess and process the year that last year was. whether you believe michael was foundational in daniel's issues last year or not, he was in control of his diet and exercise regime and his general health and we can all clearly see that deteriorated over the mclaren period and it may be daniel has now stepped away, assessed, talked to some fellow drivers like max (who then stuck up for him in that press conference when michael was brought up, hence why i think he spoke to max about) and how they get on with their trainers and thought hmmmm michael wasn't like that

other factors include michael being very close and friendly with mclaren engineers and social media people (again, valid, you want to get on with the people you work with, but again, your priority should be daniel especially in a tumultuous team like that!) & michael constantly saying he wanted to bigger than daniel, even to the point he started training his neck so that he could say he had a bigger neck than daniel....weird behaviour when you're meant to be motivating ur driver, not ultimately trying to beat them when they're already down in the dumps???

this is genuinely all conjecture and theories and i have no evidence for any of the shit i am spouting here but i am just going on the info we have and the things we have seen and trying to connect dots....

[noa-ciharu]

I'm not sure if I'm onto something here but this page/explanation plus everything that follows has always been suspicious to me

First and foremost: blood poisoning isn't most peaceful way to die, far from that. If poison is so lethal Dazai and Fyodor are supposed to die in 30 mins symptoms would have started showing right away - and yet throught whole Meursalut escape arc we see none. Not a single 'I'm feeling weak'. It's stated that Fyodor spent 5 mins just waiting for Chuuya to arrive so I'm really doubtful whole sequence of him and Chuuya nearly drowning, then killing time halting ability user, trying to drown Sigma and Dazai, Fyodor's and Sigma's confrontation and Fyodor's escape could have happened under 25 mins. Of course, it could be that whatever Nikolai gave them takes more than half an hour to kill a human but that still doesn't explain 1) why no symptoms 2) why neither Dazai nor Fyodor seem to be in the hurry to leave

Therefore my assumption is that whatever Nikolai gave them wasn't lethal in the first place.

But why lie then? Why organize the whole game to begin with?

Well, it's certainly challenging to determine motives of character as unpredictable as Nikolai. His absurdist life philosophy of seeking freedom by trying to escape himself and what makes him human certainly doesn't help the case. One of guesses can be pure entertainment, just for sake of it. For an entertainer it fits the bill. But I think there's more to it.

Except he doesn't really. By now we know whatever Fyodor's ability is that it isn't combat one - if Nikolai wanted to kill him he wouldn't necessarily need to know what it is. Not to mention Sigma can extract info from corpses, meaning they can kill Fyodor and then find out about his ability. While I'm certain Nikolai doesn't really want Fyodor dead, I can't claim with absolutely certain at that point in manga he's aware of that himself (of course he is after Fyodor 'dies' later on).

Much rather than that I think Nikolai is trying to kill what Fyodor evoke in him - feeling of being understood and wanting to understand other in return. That'll explain the game, trying to break Fyodor out of the prison without being too straightforward about it because he himself cannot decide what he really wants and stick by one decision, putting trust on test, wanting to know about Fyodor's ability and generally about Fyodor and so on.

While it's definitely arguable if Dazai would receive an antidote if he just killed Fyodor without actually escaping, it's also worth noting he was leisure with time (aka had time of his life soft bulling Sigma). Of course, chapter where Dazai talks with Nikolai post all the mess is yet to come out so it's impossible to tell in advance, but I have a hunch Dazai knew right from the start there's no danger of blood poisoning. Or at very least took gamble on that. Nikolai said something among "my apologies I have to poison you too but he (fyodor) wouldn't take the syringe otherwise" so it's clear right off the bat Dazai doesn't really hold his interest in that whole game. He's there for Fyodor and brought Sigma with him to extract information out of him.

As for Fyodor, did he knew blood poisoning wasn't a thing? Before chapter 111 I would have said yes given he too didn't seem to he in the hurry to escape, had no symptoms and didn't take the antidote right off the bat when Nikolai gave it to him. But then we have this:

Does Fyodor mean poison or game itself? My guess is poison because if latter that'd imply Fyodor expected Nikolai to help him break out of Mesaurlet which would imply broken trust. And we all know Fyodor and placing trust in others is like oil and water

To me Nikolai looks straightout dejected here. He's a performer that revels in these types of high stakes game, he should be grinning like a madman - but he's not. So in my opinion he was searching something from Fyodor here that he didn't quite get. It could be just in this scene/exchange or in whole game. But if my hunch that Nikolai was trying to get Fyodor out of Meursalut just needed Fyodor to place iota trust in him is correct, then Fyodor stamping over that hope and failing to see Nikolai's intention wasn't to kill him despite his theatrical proclaims it is would be reason for dejection. Whatever bids for connection he was looking in Fyodor likely won't be returned because of Fyodor's mistrust in people and abiding by cold rationale rather than intuition/emotions.

Therefore my conclusion is that whole Gogol game was a test:

- for Fyodor to put trust in others when he has no rational basis to (his major character flaw) - and that's precisely why he lost in the end. I could go miles here how Dazai put trust in Chuuya (and even Sigma) and how those bonds are very reason he managed to win but that's for some other time gives there's a lot to be talked about soukoku, I'd like to focus on doa trio here.

- for Sigma to realize the difference between being used and being of use, aka realize difference between transaction and a bond. I'd say he did well by placing trust in Dazai but it's yet to be seen if his decision to take Fyodor's hand was the 'right' one. His character arc ain't over, it heavily depends on what info he extracted from Fyodor so it's too early to tell how it'll go. Also this depends on Dazai's actions anime hasn't shown, like will he stick to his promise to save Sigma or not. Given promise he made to Oda 4 years before, I think it's definitely in character for Dazai to come back for him, fetch comatose Sigma and bring him to Yokohama.

- for Nikolai himself to realize what he wants to do with feeling of emotional/intellectual connection he deemed as 'imprisoning'. He's at conundrum himself what he wants to do with Fyodor: help him or kill him - accept the instinct or fight against it for no other reason than to oppose very self - lose sight of himself in the end just like Fyodor said. If we go by anime ending (I doubt manga one will be much diffrent), he came to realization how Fyodor changed his life and how he actually never wanted him dead but it was too late by then. Now haunted by realization only one who ever understood him and only person he ever felt connected to is dead, Nikolai will come to realize true hell of being imprisoned by own mind without means of escaping.

All three of them had some sort of downfall induced by their 'cardinal sins'; their own 'decays' as downfalls source from inner character flaws, so to speak.

[aquaburst3]

Okay, since I haven't seen many posts up yet about this, not that I blame anyone since others are probably at school and work rn, I want make a post summarizing what happened so far in the latest event on the JP server.

Disclaimers:

All of this info came from LuluBelle over on my Discord server, so all the credit for gathering this up goes to them.

Also, I don't know how to speak or read Japanese nor do I have the JP version of the app, making me unable to verify this. Take this all with a huge mountain of salt.

Like I said in my other post, I'm calling him Honest Fellow, since that sounds less awkward and I think it'll be localized to that anyway.

JP Event Spoilers Below

The arc starts with Honest Fellow and Giddel selling the themepark to some faceless NPCs. After some convincing, they enter the park. Honest Fellow evil laughs.

We cut to a basketball game between RSA and NRC. NRC lose yet again. NRC fight amongst themselves, and the teachers break it up.

After the game, Floyd, Ace, Yuu and Grim, wallowing in their frustration at NRC's loss to RSA, decided to go Craneport to get some snacks. There they find Jade and Jack on the way.Jack was there to get some new threads while Jade was there by sheer coincidence.

Kalim and Ortho arrive. They were in a bookstore, because Kalim was searching for books concerning magic potions, since he's struggling with those and Sam's shop was closed. (I have no idea why Jamil wasn't there either, because him leaving Kalim unattended seems kinda ooc.)

Honest Fellow along with his brother swoop in, making their sales pitch. Grim wonders about what Playful Land is exactly. Ace explains that it's a mysterious amusement park that nobody knows where it is. Honest Fellow says that's correct.

Honest Fellow gives the group tickets to the park. When Kalim says they'll go the next weekend, Honest Fellow chimes in, saying, "Oh, no, no! You can only use it until tomorrow!" They both fuck off into the night.

When the group gets back, they tell Riddle and Jamil about the tickets. They're both like, "Hell no!" Riddle shoots it down because skipping classes is unforgivable. (Ace was originally gonna invite Deuce, but he tattled on him to Riddle, since he found the whole thing suspicious. Honestly, good on him.) Jamil finds it suspicious and puts his foot down, telling Kalim that he forbids him from ever going.

Jack tells Leona, who is all like, "Nah, this is kinda fishy." Jack decides that he has to go because he promised Honest Fellow he would, and he doesn't want to break it.

Floyd tells Azul. He says, "Nope, I'm not coming. It's sus, and I don't wanna owe anybody anything!" They tweels laugh, saying that they want to check it out BECAUSE it's shady.

Ortho tells his brother. He shoots it down, since he doesn't like crowds. Ortho then confides in Vil thanks to them being in the same club.

Early the morning, before the sun rises, the group gathers to sneak to the harbour in town. Kalim managed to get the rest of the Light Music Club to come along, because they saw just how sad Kalim seemed and decided to tag along to comfort him. Vil was convinced to come along by Ortho. One, he wants to see what's the big deal about this park. Two, he's also suspicious, and, as a dorm leader, he wants to oversee all of his juniors and make sure they're all okay. Trey followed after Ace because Deuce asked him for his help and had the feeling that Ace would be stubborn enough to rebel and sneak out even though Riddle said no. Leona followed after Jack because he felt like he had to be the responsible one for once and was genuinely concerned about Jack's well being.

Honest Fellow arrives. He is just so dramatic. Half of them go, "Fucking really? Why did any of our juniors trust this guy? He's as sus as a FNAF animatronic!" (Not in those words, obliviously, but along that same idea.)

Honest Fellow shows them around the park. Which looks like this...

The park is more like those travelling summer fairs where it goes from town to town instead of staying in one place like Universal Studios, Knotts Berry Farm or any of the Disney Parks. The boys can kick back and indulge in their darkest desires.

The third years still feel that this whole thing is kinda sus. Since Grim and some of the others head straight to the entry gate, they reluctantly go along with it to watch over their juniors. Grim face plants into the gate, because he didn't show a ticket. Ace shows his ticket. Ace, Grim and Yuu's clothes get magically altered to resemble the ones on the card. The same thing happened to everyone else.

After everyone's gotten inside the amusement park, we have a foreboding speech from Honest Fellow and Giddel about how the young generation are easily skeptical, but can still be fooled by the promises of a fun play park. Honest Fellow mentions how he and Giddel should accommodate their visitors… for it will be the "last'' fun memory that they'd have. Cue End of Part 1.

Some other minor side things...

It's confirmed. Honest Fellow and Giddel are brothers.

Honest Fellow is a mage, but is less magically inclined compared to the NRC boys. Giddel is a non-mage.

Lulu, aka the same person from my Discord server, suspects the themepark itself might be a magic tool of some kind. Considering how it operated in the movie and novel along with fan theories about them, I'm inclined to believe them.

We also finally got a description of what Yuu is actually wearing during this event. (Honestly, it's about fucking time. Because one gripe I always had with these events is that we never get even a small description of what Yuu is wearing, which makes it harder to imagine what's going on in my head.) Basically, they are wearing the same style jacket as Leona, but with the same colours as Lilia's costume. Do with that information as you will Malleus/Yuu shippers.

Honest Fellow has a Honest John pendant on his hat.

More of a personal gripe, but I'm not sure what to make of Honest Fellow as a character yet. Right now, he seems like the mastermind behind this whole operation, but that doesn't make sense. In the movie, Honest John wasn't on board with the Pleasure Island shit, and only went along with it thanks to the Coachman threatening him and Gideon's lives. Wouldn't it be far more fitting for him to be a lacky of another villain and being forced to go along with it out of fear of having the same thing happen to him and his brother? And if that was the case, that would also better align him thematically with Ortho, who's brother is the same way towards him. But I'm reserving my judgements on his character until the event is over.

Playful Land gives me major Joy Joy Land vibes.

I find the idea of Leona, Trey and Vil going there, because they are worried about their juniors adorable. They are really tapping into their big brother instincts, even if I doubt Vil and Leona would ever admit it out loud.

Though, one plot hole with this whole thing is why didn't Jamil, Trey and Deuce rip up the tickets if they were that concerned about the others going to the park? Granted, the tickets could be enchanted so that they're impossible to destroy, but I never heard if that's the case yet. Idk, it's a nitpick, but it's still something that annoys me a bit as a writer myself.

[fluentmoviequoter]

The Safest Place is With an Angel

Requested Here!

Pairing: bodyguard!Deacon Kay x fem!singer!reader

Summary: The bodyguard you never wanted quickly gives a new meaning to the City of Angels. After he saves you and helps you sing again, all of your fears disappear in his safety.

Warnings: quick seduction joke (clean as always, guaranteed), angst, fights, brief depiction of injuries, threats, (poorly) attempted abduction, banter, fluff and comfort

Word Count: 4.2k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Kay Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“Buck!” Hondo yells from the ring. “Good to see you man!”

“Hey, old timer,” Luca adds. “How’s it going?”

“Good, good,” Buck answers, looking around. “Where’s Deacon?”

“Choosing favorites again?” Street inquires.

“Something like that,” Buck replies. “Where is he?”

“Locker room,” Street says.

Buck nods once in thanks then walks away to find Deacon. The rest of 20 David Squad watches him go, then quietly debates why he needs to see Deacon. They quickly decide that it’s either a security business thing or an intervention, which they are offended to be excluded from.

“Sergeant Kay,” Buck greets as he enters the locker room.

“Buck Spivey,” Deacon answers with a smile. “Did I miss a meeting?”

“No- well, not exactly. We had a potential client drop by unexpectedly. He’s looking for an executive protection agent for-“

“A bodyguard?” Deacon clarifies.

“Yes, Deacon, a bodyguard. He’s a music producer and one of his new artists is coming out to LA for a few days to record an EP - whatever that is. She needs protection, and, we’ll just say he liked the appeal of an active-duty police officer on our staff.”

“And you want me to take time off of SWAT to be a bodyguard for a few days?”

“For $50,000, yes.”

Deacon’s eyes widen when he hears the amount. He won’t see all of that, obviously, but it would more than cover his time off work.

“Buck, tell me straight, why me? None of the ‘he’s a cop’ stuff,” Deacon requests.

“She’s a singer, Deac. Not all of our men can be trusted one-on-one with a woman like that.”

“You’re picking me because I’m older and less likely to seduce her?”

“Or be seduced,” Buck adds, playfully agreeing.

“Fine, yeah,” Deacon agrees with a smile. “Let me run it past Hicks.”

“I already did that.”

“Buck,” Deacon sighs.

“I know you, Deac, so I just got a head start for you. You’re welcome. See you in the office!”

“Thanks, Buck.”

After Buck leaves, Deacon sits on the bench in the locker room. Fifty grand, he thinks, she must be a good singer.

“What was that about?” Street asks as he barges into the locker room.

“I’m taking a few days off to do an assignment from Buck,” Deacon answers.

“It wasn’t an intervention?” Luca inquires.

“For what?” Deacon questions.

“What’s the assignment? Private security instead of public?” Hondo jokes.

“Executive protection,” Deacon says.

“You’re a bodyguard?” Street exclaims. “That’s awesome!”

“For whom?” Hondo asks.

“I can’t answer that.”

“I knew we needed an intervention,” Luca sighs.

“Good morning. I’m Buck Spivey, and this is David Kay, your personal executive protection agent during your time in Los Angeles,” Buck presents. He turns to Deacon to introduce you as well.

As you shake hands with the man who insists you call him Deacon, you wish you were going to be in LA for longer. He’s incredibly handsome, and you could practically fall into his deep brown eyes. He’s the kind of guy you write songs about, not hide behind.

“Nice to meet you,” you say, smiling as you reclaim your hand from Deacon’s warm one.

“You, too.”

“I’m going to go over everything with Mr. Spivey, but Deacon has your schedule. I’ll see you at the studio, listen, not a moment before you’re scheduled,” your producer, Alex, says. “Thanks again, gentlemen.”

Deacon smiles and nods at Alex as he follows Buck out. You watch them leave, then drop your shoulders and shake your head.

“This probably isn’t your ideal job,” you begin, “but thank you, seriously.”

“Of course. Your schedule for today is pretty open, so where to first?”

“That’s the other thing. I know that Alex hired you to stay with me every waking moment, but no one knows who I am, so feel free to come and go as you want. You’ll still get paid the same.”

Deacon’s brows furrow as you speak. Buck made it seem like you were a big deal and the album you came to record was already getting massive attention. Your willingness to go out alone into, in Deacon’s opinion, one of the most dangerous cities in the US is unexpected.

“Look, it’s my job, and I do enjoy it, so I’m going to go where you go,” Deacon explains.

“Is that necessary?”

“It is. Not just because your producer paid for it, but because your safety is my top priority this week.”

“Fine,” you agree. “I wanted to go sightseeing today, but I have no idea where to start.”

“Then it’s a good thing you have a bodyguard who knows every inch of this city,” Deacon replies. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah,” you mumble as you follow him. “Great.”

Standing on an overlook off Mulholland Drive, you feel invisible and weightless. It’s the best you’ve felt in months. You close your eyes before you take in the view again. Standing behind you, Deacon surveys the area for potential threats, but his eyes keep returning to you. Something is going on, more than you simply not wanting a bodyguard.

“You were right,” you cheer as you return to him. “It’s way prettier up here. Where are you taking me next?”

“Um, look,” Deacon begins. “I know I’m only here for you in a professional capacity, but if you need anything, I’m here for you.”

Your phone buzzes before you can reply to Deacon’s offer. It’s probably for the best because you don’t want to acknowledge that there is more going on than what you let him see. The message from Alex is short, but you groan regardless. Deacon receives a text, too, and you know lying to him is not an option.

“There’s an event for songwriters at the Walt Disney Concert Hall tonight,” you tell him. “Alex wants me to go.”

“You don’t want to?” Deacon reads into your phrasing.

“It’s not that, just… I thought I’d get a break and get to do what I want instead of what Alex thinks I need to do. He’s a great producer and he’s one of the nicest guys in the business, but I think he forgets that we’re human too sometimes.”

“Then don’t go.”

You laugh and reply, “Yeah, that would go well. It’s fine. I need to go back to my hotel and get ready.”

Deacon waits a moment before he nods and gestures for you to walk before him. Most other men would make you feel uncomfortable, out of sight at your back, but you feel safer than ever with Deacon Kay with you.

Deacon raises his hand before your waist as you enter the hotel lobby. You bump into him as you stop, and he looks around before he murmurs for you to go.

“You seem on edge,” you muse as you board the elevator.

Deacon shakes his head and apologizes to someone else trying to get on. When the door closes on just the two of you, he sighs.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I’m a cop, a SWAT officer, and I guess maybe that gives me a sixth sense,” he says.

“And?” you press.

“Something feels off.”

“It’s probably just the schedule change.”

Deacon glances at you from the corner of his eye. You’re different, another in a series of sudden shifts has altered your behavior. At the office, you didn’t want Deacon to come with you, then you were open to sightseeing with him, and now you seem annoyed by his presence again.

“Wait,” he instructs as the elevator door opens.

He looks up and down the hallway, then holds the door for you to exit. When you reach your room door, he takes your key from your hand.

“What are you doing?” you ask shortly.

“I need to clear the room,” Deacon answers simply.

“Deacon, there’s no one in my hotel room. I think you’re overthinking the ‘bodyguard’ thing. You don’t have to go everywhere with me!”

“I’m not letting you walk into a room when I don’t know what’s waiting behind the door,” he argues.

“It’s a locked hotel room! Do you need to sit beside the tub while I shower, too?”

“Just let me go in, make sure it’s safe, and then I’ll come back out.”

You reluctantly hand the keycard to Deacon, and your body language is enough to tell him you are not pleased with this arrangement. When you cross your arms tightly and straighten your shoulders, Deacon assumes that you’re not worried about having left clothes on the bed or anything, but a deeper problem with having him so close.

“I’ll be right back,” he promises.

You blow a breath out of your nose in response, and Deacon reminds himself not to look at your face for too long. Buck had said you were pretty, but that did no justice to your beauty. Even when you’re annoyed by him, Deacon can’t help but be enraptured by every piece of you.

He slides the card into the door handle and then pushes the door open carefully. As it closes behind him, you drop your arms and lean against the hallway wall. A sudden noise makes you stand up straight again, and the following crash sends your heart to your stomach.

“Deacon!” you yell as you bang the side of your fist against the door.

Something breaks inside and the shattering echoes down the hall. With each sound, you become more desperate to get inside and ensure Deacon is okay. You have nothing against him, in fact, you’re actively trying not to write a song about him. He has to be okay.

“Deacon!” you yell again as someone grunts.

“Move!” Deacon demands.

You assume he’s talking to the person inside, but you step out of the doorway, regardless. The door opens quickly and as someone is shoved out harshly, you’re pulled inside. Deacon pushes you toward the bed as he locks the door and secures the deadbolt. He doesn’t look toward you as he pulls his phone from his pocket and begins typing quickly.

“Deacon,” you whisper as you stand. He doesn’t answer, and you continue walking to him. When you’re directly before him, you push his phone down and look at his face.

“I need to tell Alex,” he chides.

“You’re hurt.”

Deacon freezes when your fingers brush his jawline. Slowly, he drags his eyes from his phone to your face. The concern is evident in your eyes, and as they grow wet, Deacon can’t decide whether to push you away and keep working or wipe your tears away with kisses. He startles slightly at the idea; it’s completely unprofessional, but now that he’s thought of kissing you, he can’t stop.

“Uh, can you…” You exhale to keep yourself from rambling before you ask, “Can you sit down? Please.”

Deacon nods and moves to the foot of the bed. He presses send on the message to Buck, then sets his phone aside and waits for you. You return quickly with a wet cloth and a small first aid kit.

“I never travel without one,” you explain when you see Deacon’s eyes on it.

You press the cloth to his face, and Deacon doesn’t flinch. You're gentle and slow, but even if you weren’t, Deacon doesn’t think he could focus on anything other than you right now.

“You’re an idiot,” you say, pulling him from his admiration of you.

“What?”

“Why did you do that? You could have gotten killed!”

You turn to get a bandage, and your breathing changes suddenly.

“I helped you!” Deacon defends. When your face is squared with his again, his voice drops. “Whoa, are you… you’re crying.”

“I didn’t know what was happening in here. Don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry,” Deacon offers this time. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

You purse your lips as you place a flimsy blue bandage on Deacon’s hand. He knows it won’t stay on his knuckles, but he’ll stop moving if it will help you feel better and keep you beside him longer.

“I know it’s your job, but I’ve never had anyone protect me like that before, so, thanks,” you add.

“It is my job, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad for upsetting you. Like I said before, I’m here for anything you need.”

“You’ll be with me all night?” you clarify.

“As close as you want me.”

Deacon changed into a suit after he saw the dress you prepared to wear to the concert hall. He may be there for you and you alone, but that doesn’t mean he has to look like a bodyguard. You certainly didn’t argue once you saw how the well-tailored jacket fit across his muscular back and the deep blue drew even more attention to his eyes.

“I’m nervous,” you admit. “I know I’ve been pushing you away all day, but it wasn’t because of you, Deacon.”

“We don’t have to do this right now. I get it,” Deacon says.

“Maybe you are the break I was looking for,” you say softly, more to yourself than Deacon.

“Take it slow,” he encourages. “We’ll leave whenever you’re ready.”

You nod, but your eyes are constantly moving. You’re still unsettled after the run-in at the hotel, but there’s nothing more Deacon can do. Not in the public eye, at least. His words will have to get you through for now.

“There she is!” Alex cheers when he sees you.

The woman on his arm scoffs and mumbles, “Not much to her, is there?”

“What’s your number one?” another guest asks.

“Oh, I haven’t released any original songs yet,” you answer softly. “I’ve been writing and I’m here to record-“

“Alex,” the woman on his arm drawls. “You rejected my proposed artist for a no name? What drew you in, her pretty face?”

“Her songs,” Alex answers firmly. He may not give you the freedom you desire, but he also knows your worth and refuses to let anyone talk down to you. “Your proposed artist sounded like an Adele wannabe who got her finger pinched in the mic stand.”

Deacon stifles a laugh behind you, but you’re only growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

“Maybe I should just go,” you tell Alex.

“I agree,” another woman calls.

“Absolutely not,” Alex answers, freeing himself from the women around him. “You’re here as a songwriter. Let’s get away from these people living vicariously through their stars.”

Alex leads you further into the venue, but you watch over your shoulder to ensure Deacon is still with you. He nods in reassurance as he follows, his eyes on the move to spot anything before it can become another threat.

“Buck told me about the incident in the hotel,” Alex says. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you answer.

“What incident?” Serena, one of Alex’s other artists, asks. “Babe, are you alright?”

“Just shaken up,” you admit.

You look back at Deacon again, but his attention is on the stage.

“Wait, so what happened?” Serena whispers to you.

“There was a guy in my hotel room. Deacon took care of it.”

“Deacon? You mean that jaw-droppingly gorgeous man who hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you walked in? Babe, you’re on a first-name basis with your bodyguard.”

“Watching me is his job,” you deflect.

“Serena, sorry to interrupt,” Alex says. “There’s someone here who’d like to meet you.”

“Tell me everything later,” she whispers as she’s pulled away.

Alone again, you take a deep breath and rest your hands on the back of your chair. Deacon steps closer to the table before he pauses.

“Please,” you say.

He closes the distance and stands beside you, close enough to touch if you were as open with physically showing your feelings as you are bearing them for all to hear in song lyrics.

“Excuse me, my name is Rydell. I’m Alex’s biggest competitor,” a man introduces before he laughs. It sounds forced, and you find yourself stepping closer to Deacon. “You must be Alex’s newest client, the one he was so excited to show off.”

Deacon moves his arm so he can feel you behind him as he replies, “Actually, I’m-“

“No, no, please don’t try to undersell yourself. Here’s what we’ll do. I’ve got a private suite back at the Ritz. We’ll head there, order some champagne, and maybe you could give me a private performance of your new songs.”

“Sir,” Deacon begins again.

“Oh, and Alex doesn’t need to know a thing about it. I’ll have you back by morning.”

Deacon’s brows raise as he asks, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Deacon,” you murmur.

“Rydell, is it? I have to applaud your effort, however sleazy it may be, but you picked the wrong target. I’m not the singer you’re after, I’m her bodyguard.”

Your heart races when Deacon refers to himself as yours. When the man blubbers as he tries to find an acceptable answer about why he wanted to take you away from everyone, you are harshly returned to reality.

“Get out,” Deacon demands.

Rydell nods and scurries away. Your eyes remain on Deacon and the dark look in his eyes that matches his clenched jaw.

“Was he trying to kidnap me?” you ask.

“I can’t be sure,” Deacon answers carefully.

“But you think he was.”

Deacon turns when he hears the strain in your voice.

“I should just go home. Singing has always been my dream but between the guy at the hotel and him hurting you, then this, I can’t-“

Deacon silently takes your hand, and your sentence ends abruptly. He strokes his thumb over the back of your hand as he leads you away from all the people. After he finds a quiet, dimmed hallway, he stops and turns toward you, keeping your hand safely in his.

“Take a few deep breaths,” he instructs. “I’ve got you.”

“How am I supposed to keep doing this? I haven’t even released anything and already people are doing crazy things,” you express.

“Well, the women at the door felt threatened. Rydell was misinformed about how strong and independent you are, and the man at the hotel was just an idiot trying to do something stupid.”

“But what happens when there’s more of them?” you whisper. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You can. You can,” he repeats. “I’m right here to keep you safe.”

“And when you’re not?”

Deacon nods; he understands what uncertainty and fear are like. There’s no easy way to answer your question, but he can help you feel safe for the rest of the night and the remainder of your time in Los Angeles. No matter what it takes.

Standing in the recording booth, you freeze behind the microphone. Singing is an emotional experience, an outlet; right now, you only feel nervous and uncertain. Your future relies on this album; if this is the future, you aren’t sure you want it.

“Let me go in,” someone says faintly through the speaker above you.

Several people are waiting in the sound booth beside you. Alex, the audio tech, Deacon, and two of your best friends and fellow singers. You’ve forgotten about them easily, so you know this isn’t stage fright.

Someone knocks on the door, and you look up from your lyrics as Deacon steps inside.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

You look toward the one-way glass, worried about expressing something you shouldn’t in front of your friends and colleagues.

“They’re gone,” Deacon assures. “I asked for some privacy, thought you could use it.”

“Thank you,” you reply. “I just- everything is a mess, and I don’t know where to start.”

“I heard the music while the tech guy was setting everything up. It’s really good.”

“I appreciate that. Lyrics come pretty easily, but finding the music to express the same stuff as the words is harder.”

“Yet the best artists make it look easy. Like you.”

You suddenly remember something. While you showered this morning, you asked Deacon to sit in your hotel room. Through the thin walls of the bathroom, you heard him humming. Deacon can sing.

“Would you… Will you sing with me? Just to help me get started, I mean,” you ask softly.

Deacon smiles as he happily says, “Of course.”

You step to the side so Deacon can stand beside you and see the sheet music with the lyrics printed on it. It’s not your preferred method of recording, but right now, you’re glad to have it. After you press play on the computer beside you, music fills the room, and you and Deacon begin singing together. He’s better than you anticipated after hearing his humming, and he smiles brightly during your performance of the bridge. You fail to remember what life was like without Deacon. Not that you’d want to.

The music fades and you throw your arms around Deacon’s neck to hug him tightly. He chuckles as he returns the hug, his arms tight around your waist as he tucks his chin against your shoulder.

“You’re amazing,” he applauds.

“Me? I should sign my record deal over to you!” you argue. “You sound like an angel! You are an angel, aren't you, Deacon?”

“Please don’t trade yourself in without my permission,” Alex says through the mic system.

“Alex,” Deacon groans.

“You asked for two minutes, Sergeant. I gave you two minutes. Besides, if I hadn’t come back, we wouldn’t have that performance recorded.”

“I think I’m ready,” you interrupt. “But can I do track 8 next?”

“Anything you want,” Alex answers. “And thanks again, Deacon.”

“For what?” you ask, speaking to Deacon rather than Alex.

“His contract is over. He didn’t have to come with you today,” Alex says.

“Why?” you ask Deacon.

He steps away from the microphone and brushes his fingers along your arm as he whispers, “I didn’t want to walk away yet.”

You lift your eyes to Deacon’s and smile in the proximity. He taps a knuckle against your hip, and you glance down as he makes a phone signal with his hands.

“I do have to get to work,” he says. “But I’ll be watching for that album.”

“Thank you, Deacon, for everything.”

Deacon winks before he exits the studio. You breathe out through your newfound permanent smile and flip to a page of scribbles.

“Does he know?” Alex asks. “That the album only had seven songs before you met him?”

“I think he will,” you answer. “Let’s go.”

“Oh my gosh!” Chris yells. “Am I fangirling? Is this what it feels like?”

“What are you talking about?” Luca inquires.

She points excitedly and explains, “She has the best cover of my favorite song I’ve ever heard. Why do you think she’s here? Would it be wrong to ask for an autograph?”

“Just ask Deac,” Street says from inside the situation room.

Chris, Luca, and Hondo turn to face him, and he sighs as if being the smartest guy in the room is exhausting him daily.

“Ask Deac what?” Chris asks.

“To introduce you. He’s been listening to her music nonstop.”

“He listens to covers?”

“When he’s in love with the girl that sings them, yeah. Am I the only one who pays any attention around here?”

“Easy,” Hondo warns. “What aren’t you saying?”

“Connect the dots, Hondo. He leaves to be a bodyguard, and comes back all soft and sappy, listening to cover songs every minute he can. She was the body to be guarded, and David Kay liked what he saw.”

“What did I see to like?” Deacon asks as he enters.

Chris wordlessly points to you, and Deacon’s eyes light up as he rushes through the situation room to reach you.

“Well, Street was right,” Hondo muses. “For once.”

“Whatever, old man,” Street grumbles.

“You’re here!” Deacon calls. “Why are you here?”

You smile as you reach up and hug him. “I, um, I couldn’t leave.”

“But I thought-“

“That I had excessive doubts about staying in LA and being a singer?” you finish for him. “I did. But then this great, really attractive bodyguard held my hand and told me everything would be okay.”

“And you believed him?”

“If you could see his eyes, you’d understand that I had no other choice but to fall for him.”

“Oh,” Deacon replies. “So…”

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” you and Deacon ask simultaneously.

“I think that translates to yes, from both parties,” Street says as he walks by with a tablet.

“Who is that?” you ask Deacon.

“A fan in the making,” he answers. “Speaking of which, my teammate Chris wants an autograph. Are you sure LA is the right choice?”

“There’s only a few months until the album releases, so the back and forth wasn’t worth it. Plus, that bodyguard I mentioned kinda lives here.”

“Well then,” Deacon murmurs, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you against his chest. “Let’s make sure LA’s prettiest, best-voiced resident feels safe.”

“I’m not trained to do that for you,” you joke.

“Just keep that cute little band-aid kit around and I’ll handle the rest.”

“Don’t get hurt for me again,” you warn. “Because I can’t-“

Deacon cuts you off with a kiss, and you melt against him as your fingers brush across his jawline.

“You can’t what?” Deacon asks against your lips.

“Just kiss me,” you answer, though your voice is muffled against him. “I’m safe right here.”

“Deacon!” Chris yells when you pull back. “Did you ask about the autograph?”

[pumpkinsy0]

What's Going On in Haiti Rn

tldr: barbeque (leader of revolutionary gang, isnt a cannibal btw) says hes trying to liberate Haiti to free the oppressed groups in Haiti from not only the rich ppl who live in Haiti but also from imperialism so Haiti can get better, but moving along from that, theres canals being built in Haiti so Haitians can actually make their own food and won’t rely in others

alright, I’m making this post, not only because I dont see many people talking about it, but also because they just aren't really telling the exact full story and theyre only using what the western media is saying and not really using any haitian sources or anything like that, for this post Im NOT picking sides or anything of the sort, I just want people to be more aware of what's actually going on in haiti

so where all of this gang stuff is going down is in the CAPITAL of Haiti, this isn't going on all across the country, everything really violent is happening in PORT AU PRINCE. As you know, there's this man called Barbecue who is essentially running Port Au Prince with his gang or group or whatever you want to call it, no Barbecue didn't get his name because he's a cannibal or anything like that, he got it because his mom would sell bbq chicken for people in his neighborhood. The cannibal claims that were going all around on social media was spread by alt right twitter users like elon musk and some other famous alt right twitter users.

NOW when it comes to the gangs in Haiti, what Barbecue is trying to do is "liberate this country, once and for all"(in his own words not mines), and he's done that by trying to bring together all the past gangs of Haiti and they've formed this one big group called "Revolutionary Forces of the G9 Family and Allies" or I'll just call them G9, and now they control 80% of Port Au Prince and many civilians themselves who live in poverty and terrible conditions are with them because they just want a life with rights to healthcare, education, and housing, things that are hard to get because of politicians and rich people oppressing them and taking away their resources and forcing them to live with the scraps. Another group of people who's followed him is this group of men he's broke out of jail. In this jail as far as I know, these people were never actually given trials or anything and they as well were forced into terrible living conditions with, lack of food, space, that kinda thing. When it comes to G9 getting the prime minister, Ariel Henry, to step down, the reason why they wanted him to step down (as far as i remember) was because he just pushing the election for a new president back and back each time, and people were/are under the impression that he just wanted to get more power. On top of that Ariel Henry was NEVER SWORN INTO HIS POSITION. Plus, after the Haitian president's assassination in 2021, INSTEAD of working with Haitian civil society groups that were open to give solutions to fix the situation, the US, Canada, France, and other places, put their trust into Ariel Henry, and saw him as the connection to the Haitian public. Henry is not well liked by the public of Haiti and he is now not in Haiti and is in Puerto Rico, essentially exiled from Haiti. Now dont take this as me putting Barbecue in this shining light, he did use to be a police officer, and he has closed off Port Au Prince from the rest of the country and people are finding it hard to get food, water, go to school, and much much more, Im just laying out what's happening and his goal as he says it. If you want more info, watch some interviews Barbeque has done.

When it come to the US intervening or ANY country for that matter intervening is because in the past, forcing interventions in haiti has only led to worse. There was terrible treatment to the citizens and they stole money, their only way of intervening was literally through weapons against innocent civilians. Many haitians do NOT want any country, especially the US coming near them AT ALL because theyre are scared for what theyre going to do to them and their livelihoods, and you can't blame them one bit, the US is quite literally a genocidal empire who only looks out for itself.

ON SOME MORE BRIGHTER NEWS, idk if you heard, but theres this canal thats close to being finished, that will allow Haitian farmers to grow and make their own foods so Haiti wont have to rely on other places of getting stuff like rice!! The canal gets water from the massacre river however, Dominican politicians dont like that and are claiming that the canal will weaken the water supply of the river, despite the DR having like 11 canals using the river and Haiti has 1 (the one being built rn). To slow down the water flow going into the canal, Dominican officals have these pumps that are constantly flowing to take away water from the canal, however the canal is still able to flow a good amount of water into Haiti, to Haitian farmers :)

on top of that, Haitian farmers in another part of Haiti has gotten inspired to take action to make their OWN canal (that has NOTHING to do with the massacre river before yall start) and are currently making their own canal so they can have water so WOOOO🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹

anyways pls share and make sure to listen to Haitian voices and media to understand whats going on, dont use media from the same niggas that assisted a Dominican dictator that committed a Haitian genocide :P

to learn more about whats going on theres this Haitian news source called Haiti Liberte that discusses whats going on in Haiti and they have a documentary on youtube that goes more in depth with Barbeque and his ideas/wants and some Haitian citizens

as for the canals, on tik tok theres this woman whos been at the forefront of it all, discussing whats going on with the canals, giving updates, and shes actually in Haiti, and you can see the canals for yourself, her @ is @bertrhude

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being overprotective of my brother?

All names are fake.

The players in this story:

Andrew. Me. 17ftm. He/They. 11th grade.

Theodore. My brother. 14ftm. He/They. 9th grade.

Summer. My abuser. 16mtf. She/Her. 11th grade.

Quartz. My friend. 16nb. They/Them. 11th grade.

I was abused for two years by Summer. Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, sexual harassment, sexual assault, she did it all. For all my swifties out there, it was so bad I can relate to Would've Could've Should've. She also did all of the above, except for the sexual harassment and sexual assault, to Quartz. Summer does not believe that what she did was wrong. Summer does not believe Quartz and I when we tell her what she did was wrong. I don't know if Summer thinks she can do wrong. She would still be abusing me today if I didn't manage to find a new lunch spot and pretend she can't hurt me anymore.

For the record, I am 5'3'' and roughly 110lbs. Summer is 6'1'' and probably around 200lbs. I cannot outrun her. I cannot overpower her. Yes, she knows this and has used it to her advantage before.

Also, Theodore is taller and slightly heavier than me, at 5'6'' and ~120lbs, but still substantially smaller and lighter than Summer. He could not outrun her. He could not overpower her. That scares me.

But why is Theodore involved in this story?

Theodore and I are both on the advanced math track. The normal path to take is Algebra I in 9th grade, Geometry in 10th grade, Algebra II in 11th grade, and Precalculus in 12th grade. The path we are taking is Algebra I in 8th grade, Geometry in 9th grade, Algebra II in 10th grade, Precalculus in 11th grade, and AB Calculus in 12th grade. Summer is not on the advanced math track. She also failed geometry last year and is retaking it this year.

This means that this year, Theodore and Summer are both taking geometry. This didn't bother me too much, as my school had five geometry periods divided among two teachers. What are the odds they'll both get the--

They got the same class. And they're sitting very close to each other. On a seating chart that will not change all year. According to both Theodore and Summer, whom I asked separately, they are within arms reach of each other, and are also in the back of the classroom, so if Summer talks to him the teacher will not overhear. This scares me.

Now, here's where I might be TA.

As soon as I found this out, I pulled Theodore aside and explained exactly who Summer is and what she did to me. I ended this with a warning to stay away from her as much as possible and ignore her completely, and to come straight to me if she tries anything. I also pulled Summer aside, since we still have a class together, and explained to her in no uncertain terms who my brother was and what would happen if she tried anything with him. I believe certain terms such as "unmarked grave" and "incident report so fast you won't even have time to say it was just a joke" came up.

Theodore basically said "Andrew, thank you for the warning, but I can defend myself. Stop fighting my battles for me." and Summer said "Andrew, come on, you're being overdramatic."

I thought I was protecting my brother from an abuser, but maybe I was overreacting and overprotecting instead. Should I have trusted Theodore to figure out her evilness on his own and trusted Summer not to try anything?

So, Tumblr, AITA for being overprotective of my brother?

What are these acronyms?

[padscomm]

ethan?

part 3

tara carpenter x f!reader

warnings: grammatical errors, so yea

a/n: I didn't expect this to blow up, but thanks alot!!

Anika · nikayoko

; anika

hey, are you okay?

you stormed out w/o hearing us say anything

I'm worried

; y/n

yea

I'm okay

nothing happened, it's just my tita auntie

was finding me because it was late

; anika

y/n, I thought you didn't have curfew?

; y/n

tita auntie made new rules ig

; anika

c'mon, stop lying to me y/n

I know that you're lying

you can tell me everything

if your not comfortable, just tell me okay?

I'll give you some space

; y/n

I'm not comfortable of talking about it

sorry anika, I promise I'll tell you when

I finally feel comfortable

; anika

take your time, don't rush.

INSTAGRAM

ynartist

liked by carpensam , nikayoko , lndry and 130 others

ynartist nobody knows my real birthday lol, do you even know me?

Ethan · @ lndry

when’s your birthday anyways?

· replying to @ lndry

Y/N · @ ynartist

i am not telling you that

Anika · @ nikayoko

I guess nobody know's you that well, even if your a talkative person

· replying to @ nikayoko

Y/N · @ ynartist

I don't tell info about me, unless your willing to know about me:))

mindymarts

liked by nikayoko , vcchad , tarafilms and 560 others

mindymarts my roman empire

tara · @ tarafilms

delete this right now!!

· replying to @ tarafilms

chad · @vcchad

but we look cute there

Mindy don't delete it

sam · @carpensam

r u fucking my sister?

· replying to @carpensam

mindy · @ mindymarts

probably he is

ynartist

liked by lndry , tarafilms , mindymarts and 1000 others

ynartist I'm gonna deactivate my account since i need to get away from shit, lol.

Anika · @ nikayoko

; Anika

mindy

have you been seeing how

y/n has been acting?

; mindy

oh yea

it's very weird

actually

do you think it's about chad & Tara?

; anika

I think so

; mindy

does she like Chad?

; anika

she said that she see's Chad as a brother figure

come to my apartment like right now

; mindy

okay?

after a few minutes, Mindy arrived at anika's apartment. “hey, baby.” anika pulled her in for a kiss, “lets talk about y/n. because I'm actually worried for her.” mindy didn't understand why anika was so worried for you, when she knew that you can take care of yourself.

“why are you so invested in y/n?”

“because, I care for her. I don't really see how you guys care for her.” anika said. mindy didn't say anymore, and just listened to anika yapping about y/n.

the both of them were on the couch, Mindy laying on anika's lap. “let’s go to her apartment.” Mindy suggested, and anika said yes.

and the both of them did, they went to your apartment, sharing with ethan. mindy didn't like ethan that much, but anika, ethan and you were the most closest people on earth. but anika alway's felt, that you and ethan had something together.

anika knocked on the door, and anika saw ethan’s tall figure Infront of her. “can i help you anika and mindy?” ethan asked politely, while mindy frowned, and wasn't buying it. mindy barged in the apartment, and knocked on your door.

“y/n? it's me mindy! can we talk?” you heard mindy knocking on your door, loudly. you didn't have any choice, and you just opened it.

“hi mindy, and anika. what are you two doing here?” mindy looked at you with disgust, “you were definitely been crying all night, judging by the looks of yours.” you were offended at the words of mindy.

“so? why do you care.”

“y/n, let's talk.” anika says, you agreed because you trusted anika, but not mindy. so you guys let her out for a bit, she didn't care.

Mindy was going to their place, of course McDonald's! and the core four was there, so she was excited since she was about to get food.

she arrived at McDonald's, and saw chad hooking his hand on tara’s shoulder. “whats up!!” Mindy says loudly. “ohh hey mindy, where have you been?” tara asked, “at y/n’s place, anika and ethan are there right now, they're having a deep talk.”

“ethan?” tara looked at mindy, “why is he hanging out with that douchebag?” tara frown’s, “well they are like something, that's what anika said to me.” mindy sense’s jealousy in the room.

“i can sense jealously in the room..” mindy jokes, and tara doesn't like it. “i need to use the restroom.” she goes directly to the bathroom, slamming the door.

“why does she trust Ethan more than me! I'm supposed to be the one for y/n.” tara thought to herself.