#but generally i think ame would be like ‘i’m not contradictory dude it makes sense if you let me bust out the powerpoint’

[windrunner]

my derangement

not even projecting too hard i just think both of them are like this fr

^^^ my evil and horrible guygals (heart emojis flying around my head) ^^

[heraldofzaun]

Hi. We’re doing this again. I’ve already spoken a little bit (well, a great bit) about how old lore Viktor wasn’t a stereotypical evil villain, but I keep seeing this interesting trend crop up - especially in the comments of analyses on Viktor’s character - and so I’m going to write about it. That trend is the fact that people seem completely and utterly convinced that only old Viktor “augmented without consent” or “didn’t respect free will” or similar mad-scientist-adjacent claims. This isn't true. The inverse is true, actually.

What follows is the entirety of Viktor’s old lore (I’m using the first - the second variant is the one that snips out his going to the Institute of War, I’m not trying to pull a trick on you or anything), his lines upon release (which are still technically canonical, even if many people believe them to be outdated - whether that is due to Riot still believing that they’re accurate to his character or, more likely, Riot not caring to replace them, I don’t know), and the accompanying blurb to his release comic. I am also including Jayce’s second lore, the one which Riot wrote after Viktor fans pointed out that Jayce’s original lore was contradictory to Viktor’s character. (Which is mentioned in the post I linked above. TL;DR: Viktor fans made such a fuss that Jayce’s lore got changed to paint Viktor as less of a villain, which again points to the fact that old Viktor wasn’t necessarily perceived as villainous by his fans. Of course, fan perceptions can be wrong - but canon was changed, so...)

This screenshot is missing his pick/ban quotes (“Join the Glorious Evolution.”/”Inferior constructs.” - ban quotes were added after his release, so they recycled one of his attack lines) and the quotes for Chaos Storm (“Obliterate!”/”Consume!”/”True power!”/”Behold!”). This is because it didn’t fit on my computer screen nicely.

This was written alongside Viktor’s teaser comic. (I personally really like the teaser comic, even though I’m concerned about Viktor cutting a hole in his laboratory wall.) It is, technically, non-canon material as it was posted on the now-defunct forums rather than anywhere on the client, but as we’ve seen a recent trend of Rioters Word-of-God’ing facts about canon, I may as well include it. There may be more Word-of-God confirmations on those forums as well, but the backup site that they’re currently hosted on doesn’t allow for searches as the original site didn’t either. You can find this on the “Development” tab of Viktor’s wiki page, if you’re curious.

Is there anything in here, besides “Submit to my designs.” and a few other of his voice lines, which should be taken with the context that they were a) written in 2011 and are thus not the highest examples of character-focused writing and b) written under the context of these being things he is saying to opponents on a battlefield, that says “Viktor augments people who are unwilling”? I don’t see it. He isn’t an angel, sure, because he wrecks Jayce’s lab after the man doesn’t want to work with him, but… He’s mostly alright, at least when it comes to the claims I’m investigating. (Also, note that his acolytes are not specified as being under his control or anything like that - they very well may just be people he’s helped, who don’t want a strange man smashing up the lab they were helped in.)

An interesting side-note: Jayce’s first lore does seem to imply that Viktor murdered people, as he “staged a deadly raid on Jayce’s laboratory”. This is concerning. There’s still somewhat of that implication in the second lore, considering the whole “incinerating the lab’s meager security force” line, but I’ve never seen anyone in fandom over the years use that as evidence for Viktor being a murderer, which is interesting. There’s actual textual evidence you can point to to say that Viktor’s a morally awful dude, and yet no one pointed to it when it was canon...I’ve never seen it cited in any character analyses for Viktor, nor have I ever seen anyone make the point that it’s people that Viktor’s incinerating. Food for thought, I guess. Anyways, my personal take is this: it’s security systems, not people. It doesn’t quite make sense, in-universe, for Viktor to murder a bunch of redshirt security guards but only blast Jayce aside - and leave him with no lasting injuries, obviously. Out-of-universe, you can say that it’s because Jayce is a champion, but still… It really doesn’t fit. Of course, I’m an old lore Viktor fan and this is entirely me trying to justify that he’s not a bad guy, so you can definitely take my words as biased. As we’ll see later, even if you take this as proof that old Viktor’s a killer, it doesn’t mean new Viktor is morally spotless.

Also, if you speak a language other than English and want to kill time, feel free to write in with what Jayce’s old lore says he did if you can find a translation of it. (If you go to the League wiki you can find other language versions of it, and from there you can poke around on Jayce’s page to see if it even has his older lore at all.) The Polish version apparently doesn’t imply people, but the Russian version uses “guards”... or so I think, my knowledge of Russian is pretty small so it was me and Wiktionary against the world. I think that League lore translations, especially from 2011, aren’t exactly the best material for textual evidence, but it’s an interesting curiosity. (I���m genuinely fascinated on how this was never a point of argument, and also to the fact that it was made much more ambiguous in Jayce’s post-outcry lore… but not removed.)

Anyways. Of course, you can take his lines and general character to a logical endpoint and say that it is implied that he doesn’t care much about whether or not people consent to the Glorious Evolution, but at that point you’re arguing interpretation and need to say as such. The cases I’ve seen in which people say that old lore Viktor was lopping people’s limbs off without consent or what-have-you just say that, without citing any textual evidence or saying that it is possibly implied by his character and lines. It’s pretty hard to take those claims seriously when there’s much more textual evidence that current-canon Viktor doesn’t seem too keen on respecting autonomy. Let’s begin with his own lore, which is written to favor his perspective.

Please keep in mind that this Viktor got his start selling automative technology to businesses in Zaun. The Zaun that is full of corrupt chem-barons. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he only sold to good businesses. (Also, fascinating that a common complaint about old Viktor is that his status as a pioneer of his field is that he’s “unrealistically accomplished”, and that other people would have figured out the same technology - just as it seems to be the case in current lore, with the Church of the Glorious Evolved existing pre-Viktor (except that it probably didn’t at the time of this lore’s release, as there’s a paragraph later on in his lore that talks about a “quasi-religious cult” that is unnamed but… Who else would it be?) and augmentations being common on the NPCs on the Universe page. Yet someone who’s 19 having their inventions be commonly used in Zaun long enough for the term eventually to be used in reference to the next stage of their life is perfectly acceptable. Anyways…)

What we see from this is clear: even if there is a “good” reason to control the divers, there is no mention of them consenting to the procedure. Considering the previous quotation, Viktor seems to deal more with the bosses than the workers and doesn’t seem to consider the potential job-removing impacts of his work (how many people lost jobs due to being rendered obsolete?), which doesn’t bode well for him caring much about what the workers think. But of course, this aside about dealing with bosses is all interpretation, so you can ignore it if you’d like. There still is, however, actual, textual evidence that new Viktor does not care about consent if he believes his idea is what’s best for you.

Ignoring the writer misusing the term “psychotics” - par for the course in fiction unfortunately - here’s Viktor kidnapping people “for their own good”. Nothing is said in his lore if he’s contracted to do this, or if he’s just Zaun’s version of a Good Samaritan out and about chloroforming people. While I’m not saying that the moral choice is to not intervene, he is drugging people here and performing brain surgery on them. Please note the “in a manner of speaking”. What does that mean? Is it in reference to them having permanent brain damage? Or is it in reference to him being all well-and-ready to transfer their bodies into robots that presumably weren’t designed for them? (Speaking of, if Viktor can transfer the consciousnesses - or at least brains - of people… why is he still in a fleshy mortal body? Yes, it would require a VU to update him to be fully robotic, but none of his written media seems to imply that he’s on his way. His color story has him integrating technology directly into his arm, for example. Why aren’t you getting into the robot, Viktor?)

Anyways, two options here: either the automatons had enough of their former programming to react to Viktor giving a kill command, or the consciousnesses of the people Viktor is “saving” are in these robots and are under his sway enough to commit murder. Either is bad (and negates any moral superiority over old Viktor’s maybe-implied-canonical-murder), but the second is horrifying. And, obviously, non-consensual. (Because the damage is reversing, I don’t believe there’s room for a justification of the second option in which these people are still violent and dangerous.)

Anyways, last bit. It’s pretty bad when your ethics are panned in Zaun, the nation host to rampart corruption and also people like Singed. Let’s now move on to his color story, which is what a lot of fans point to as evidence for new Viktor having a heart or a moral compass.

Yay! Moral win: your cyborg isn’t cutting off the head of a child without his consent. (Also, again, is this proof that Viktor can put brains or consciousnesses in robot bodies? Admittedly, he might be joking since this Viktor is a little softer than he is in his biography.)

Moral… win… your cyborg is augmenting a child… Anyways, joking aside, this is unethical. How’s Naph supposed to consent to something like this? I know that we can’t expect fictional characters in a fantasy setting to abide by modern ethical standards, but I think we can critique them from an out-of-universe context. This is bad. Viktor gives very little context, could very well be lying (he isn’t, hopefully), and sends the kid off with his version of a pat on the back and tells him to come back if he wants more. (The “Oh yes” is also… creepy.) A kid’s decision-making abilities aren’t developed to the extent that they can be reasonably expected to understand or consent to a procedure that removes a pretty crucial emotion. If Naph comes back and wants his fear gone permanently, will Viktor oblige?

Also, fear is something that is very important to survival and judgment calls. Without fear, a kid in Zaun might take dangerous risks that could end up with them dead. I can’t really see how people interpret this as a morally sound decision - Viktor’s pretty much giving mood-altering drugs to a child and telling him to come back if he wants another hit. Just because he got Naph’s okay doesn’t mean that he got informed consent.

Let’s now turn to the black sheep of Viktor content: his Legends of Runeterra lines. There’s two of interest.

Armed Gearhead’s card art is of a man whose only augmentation is his arm, which he says he broke in another line. (I suppose he didn’t want to wait for it to heal?)

Viktor is talking about messing with his head, here, because Armed Gearhead is… too emotive, I’d guess. He is “not yet complete”. A statement which Armed Gearhead seems rather apprehensive about, if you listen to his response.

I know that LoR Viktor is one of the more “comically villainous” depictions of Viktor we’ve seen, so if new Viktor fans would like to ignore his lines I have no issue with that. But these lines certainly seem to imply that what Viktor sees as Armed Gearhead’s end state isn’t necessarily what he sees as his, and should be considered if people want to take them as canonical.

Not necessarily needed, but here’s Jayce’s present lore. One of them is definitely lying - Jayce’s lore says that he doesn’t strike until after Viktor gives the kill order, and Viktor’s says that he gave the kill order in response to Jayce smashing up the lab. Either way, Viktor is ordering automatons (that, in this version, are outright stated to be housing the brains of the people Viktor is trying to keep alive) to kill Jayce. Not a good look.

Viktor’s new lore gives significant textual evidence that he doesn’t care for whether others willingly consent to his ideas, so long as he believes that his ideas are for the greater good. This is in contrast to the vagueness of his original lore, meaning that any individual who speaks about how current Viktor is someone who cares for consent in contrast to the “unethical mad scientist”ness of old Viktor is unfortunately mistaken. I have to imagine that general fandom interpretation, combined with the fact that his bio and color story are very tonally different, have made it so people believe that this version of Viktor is much more ethical than he canonically is.

Interpreting Viktor as sympathetic and actually morally grey is fine, of course! Riot wrote his narrative very poorly when he was updated, which is why I’m still finding bones to pick with it in comparison to his original and more open-to-interpretation lore. The issue is stating that this is canonically the case, which it isn’t, and/or stating that the current iteration of Viktor has the moral high ground over his previous incarnation, which he doesn’t. I think that much more interesting character conversations can happen if people acknowledge that Viktor as he’s currently written is roundly unethical - how can that be improved upon for a more complex character, does that mean that Jayce’s behavior was right, etc. For all my dislike of new Viktor, I’d be genuinely curious to read a take that actively acknowledges his pre-college work in automation and how that affects his standing in Piltover and Zaun. (Is he well-known in industry? What do workers think about him? And so on…) And, well, on a personal note: I think that acknowledging current Viktor’s moral failings would be nice, because it would mean that people would stop using old Viktor as a strawman.

Anyways, I suppose that’s the post. Thank you for reading!

[rattyarts]

Huge-ask post (I am VERY funny)

Because I have so many questions that can be answered with just text, and I have mentioned my dislike of filling my art blog up with Words Words Words... let’s get them all done in one go!

(You guys can blacklist #rattytalks if you’re just here for the draws, btw)

A shit ton of asks under the cut!

Anonymous said: So for the center of the world, what with it being forcefully PG and all Bad Thoughts TM being prevented, how does having kids happen? Do parents just black out and wake up holding a child in their arms and vague memories of the last 9 months?

Ever seen a movie where they do that “and one day... a baby was born!” thing and a kid just appears offscreen with no explanation?

(This is how it works everywhere, Edgelands included; no one does the do or gets pregnant in this setting.)

Anonymous said: Hello! Quick question, and sorry if you’ve answered this before, but can other elves see the “intangible” bits of one another? Big fan of your work btw!

Nope! And thank you!

Anonymous said: Leopold was in my dream last night but I sadly cannot remember any of it.

I am SO sorry. I will try to keep my stinky murder men out of your head in the future.

Anonymous said: are the floaty bits stuck in one spot, or could the one they are attached to learn to move them around their body as long as its still within a certain distance? like, someone with the Floaty limbs, lets call him Ray, can move his limbs all over his body, allowing him to do all sorts of neat things that others with their attached limbs probably couldn't?

Whatever you want, honestly. As a general rule of thumb I don’t like putting down TOO many hard rules that prevent people from having fun with this setting. (Please ignore and scrap anything you think is stupid, I do this all the time and enjoy keeping this setting inconsistent and contradictory)

Anonymous said: Do elf names work off of Death Note rules, or is it like, if you know one elf’s name, all elves with that name are now unable to harm you? So if all the elf brothers are named Martin, for example, does it only work with blue?

I think it’s prolly just the one! Probably? Idk, might change if I think of something funnier.

Anonymous said: Can elves do magic on themselves or does thst go against the knowing name rule

Most people tend to know their own names, lol. So in my opinion, no, but don’t let me stop you if you got a fun idea.

Anonymous said: Could an Elf stitch on parts from another elf and have them work? i.e an Elf's finds the arm of another Elf. "Hey, free arm, might as well put it to good use", so they attach the arm and now they can give three high fives at once!

Same deal as previous questions, I personally would say no, but I also encourage people to do whatever the hell they want. It’s more fun that way!

Anonymous said: I bet elves are greasy to the touch.

They’re very powdery! Like if you rolled them in flour. And by flour I mean nasty glowing elf dandruff.

Anonymous said: Can elves fly or are their wings just for show?

No flying!!! (Unless you’re a mousefly)

Anonymous said: Something tells me that the elves would LOVE Obatzda.

Had to look that up, but definitely!

no1fan15: Not sure if someone asked already- Does Edgeworld have any equivalent to demons and angels? Like the old rubberhose cartoon kind?

Demons, yes! That’s what imps are: basically any demon, devil, or generic monster, but tiny! Even a couple of pop culture critters in there, there’s probably a very small gillman or robot monster running around there somewhere.

Angels, not so far. 

Anonymous said: How come Margaret hasn't yeeted George's jar into the Edge yet

I’d say being locked in a closet is good enough! (and also I need him for plot reasons, don’t tell anyone)

Anonymous said: If elves have knees bulges in the front then do they have butt bulges in the back?

i do not want to think about elf bulges

Anonymous said: So if you find a baby Therewoof and you say "aw you're so cute", their true name is So Cute?

Yep!

Anonymous said: Since a Therewoof's true name can be something like "cutie pie" or "dingus", does their name have to be spoken with "intent" for it to doggo-fy them? Or do they just have to live with the reality that any casual conversation/flirting can make them lose up to a month to Doggy Mode? My mom has little terrier dog named "Sweetie" so that got me thinking 'bout Therewoof names. & Anonymous said: here's a good question: If someone says a therewoof's true name, but not reffering to them, does it still affect them?

Just saying it will do! It’s based on those old werewolf stories where calling out the person’s name will change them back into a human/cure them, and a lot of the time it was by accident.

(My favorite is the one where they slam the door on the wolf’s tail and then say his name, and the dude ends up with a wolf tail for the rest of his life.)

Anonymous said: Would Seeing eye Therewoofs be a thing?

I... guess? Probably? Since regular dogs can turn into woofs, yeah. You might have to start paying em once they turn into a person tho. 

Anonymous said: Was ChalkZone ever an inspiration for you? Because I just love the silly world of ChalkZone and I noticed getting that same warm feeling when thinking about Edgeworld.

Maaaan, I wish. I’ve only seen about three episodes or so, but it seems really fun!

Anonymous said: So I saw your mimic post, and even though I don't think I've seen any other of your art before I was absolutely HAMMERED with an indescribable sense of slightly unsettling strangeness and comfortable familiarity. Your art feels like something from like, an old point and click computer game I would have had formative memories of before accidentally losing or scratching the disc therefore making me unsure if it ever REALLY existed. Sorry for being weird but I love the wacky nostalgia feel here

Aaaaaah, THANK YOU! That is SUCH a cool comparison and I appreciate!!!

Anonymous said: If the Edgeworld is based on cartoons then is there a Reverse Edge-world that’s based on anime?

Lol, I mean I DID have an anime phase for a while there, so...

caydebug: Man I’d love to see this as a cartoon some day

Honestly, same. Best you’re gonna get is the occasional animatic or gif, tho.

Anonymous said: Does anyone..."go" in Edgeworld? or is it like Pleasantville where bathrooms exist but there are no toilets in them because acknowledging it is yucky?

Oh god I keep getting asked this and have been avoiding it like the damn plague. But... Uh. No. No they do not. I am begging you all not to send any followup questions.

Anonymous said: Have you considered putting computer viruses or illnesses in with the buggymen? Since those are typically called ‘bugs’

Sure!

Anonymous said: are there any limits to what an Animimic could posess? i.e if they were in a costume of a Buggieman with multiple arms, could they control all of them? what about a small Mousefly costume? can multiple fit into one costume like a clown car? and what about in pitch black darkness, where you can only see the lights of their eyes and not their bodies? could one fit inside the pocket of a jacket you are wearing and help you steal things/wield a gun like a living turret?

Since clothing fills into the body type of the intended wearer, they would indeed be able to control all arms/legs in buggieman clothes.

Size restrictions is one of these things I wanna try to be vague about: I personally have been imagining them sticking to hiding in things no smaller than, um. Maybe imp sized, but really, whatever. It’s a cartoon eyeball critter!

You can put multiple animimics in one outfit!

They can move around just fine in darkness without being off screen, yeah!

And sure why not. lol

Anonymous said: I know you have been asked this once before, and you said nah you don't, but with a few more months of worldbuilding, do you have an idea for what could be down the edge now? 🤔

Not really! It’s not super important, honestly. I’d say any fan theory is about as valid as anything else I can come up with.

ps2polpo: I doubt you’ll ever elaborate on The Edge but I like to imagine there’s just one dude there like the Nowhere Man from the Yellow Submarine movie. Mostly cause the thought of someone accidentally winding up there being like “where am I?” And there’s just a guy casually waving at him like a friendly neighbor is funny to me & Anonymous said: The implication that the Edge is the physical manifestation of edginess so there’s probably like, Trevor Henderson monsters hanging out down there.

See above question! Valid! I also accept falling forever, getting erased from existence, ending up in another universe, getting stuck in limbo with thousands of other people, whatever you want, really!

Anonymous said: " he has very few bones and weighs basically nothing, " "Fastball special" trope, but with Leo?

YEET THE NASTY MAN

Anonymous said: did you ever watch dragon tales as a kid? because george and margaret make me think of murderous zak and wheezie from that show, and i love it to bits

I did not, but I would have loved it. Definitely up my alley!

(watched Quest for Camelot a loooot, though!)

Imma go ahead and stop here! There’s more but I’ve been writing for well over an hour and I have things to do. If your question is missing I’m either saving it for later, wasn’t entirely sure how to answer, or it’s spoilery.

Will probably do another one of these at some point!

[maoam]

Okay so, I’m not the anon who was upset at you about you talking of Sasuke and his femininity, but I think you misinterpreted what they were saying. Before I explain why, I want to preface this by saying that I’m not defending anon. They were mean to you and super passive aggressive, and that’s not right, but I AM defending their argument.

The way I saw it, their issue with your arguments regarding sasunaru/narusasu was that you contradict yourself. You’re trying to make a point of Sasuke not being characterized accurately by sasunaru shippers, and that’s a valid argument that I myself agree with. That’s why I gravitate towards narusasu content more. You make great points on why the sasunaru side of the sns fandom make Naruto/Sasuke ooc, and your arguments about the issue stemming from women self inserting themselves into the ship is pretty solid, for example.

HOWEVER— you bringing femininity and masculinity into your arguments feels contradictory and hypocritical. Reason being, you’re arguing that sasunaru shippers hyperfeminize Naruto in their content... But you’re doing the same thing. You’re doing the same thing by bringing up Sasuke’s femininity in every single one of your posts to the point where your arguments become redundant and contrived, even though it is canon.

Now, I do agree that Sasuke is generally portrayed as more feminine, and I’m not saying that you’re the same as some sasunaru shippers for pointing out the obvious when it comes to Sasuke’s feminine traits, nor am I saying that what you point out in regards to Sasuke’s femininity/masculinity isn’t true, because a lot of it is, but the way you go about the whole matter, as I said before, is weird because you bring it up so often. THAT is the issue.

You bring it up TOO often. It would have been okay if you made a post solely on the topics of masculinity and femininity with Naruto and Sasuke, and made a connection on why sasunaru doesn’t make sense to you. That would have been understandable. This subject of masc/fem is it’s own thing. But bringing it up all the time just really demeans what you’re arguing for, and, in the end, makes you sound like you’re fetishizing feminine men and projecting that onto Sasuke, which is unfortunate.

Bringing up feminity so often gives the reader the impression that this is personal to you now, and your arguments against sasunaru should not stem from the characters masculinity and femininity. I understand that it is a big factor as to why Naruto/Sasuke are made ooc in the sasunaru (and narusasu) fandom (which is what you’re arguing against), but in doing so, you become the very thing you’re arguing against and you lose a lot of who the characters are by confining them into these two categories (masc/fem.)

I understand that it wasn’t your intention to come across what way, and that the point of your arguments is that Naruto and Sasuke are equals, and sasunaru shippers don’t always portray them this way. But is it really necessary to bring up Sasuke’s femininity all the time? You bring it up so often that it feels like that’s the only thing you hold on to. And, if I’m being frank, it’s kind of obvious that you prefer narusasu not just because narusasu portrays Naruto/Sasuke as more in character. You think Sasuke is pretty and feminine, and you just straight up prefer him to be the bottom. It makes sense to you. And dude... That is okay. This is purely fictional and you do you, own it. But having said this, because you come across as having a preference to narusasu beyond characterization, your arguments begin to sound like excuses for your preference. And the focus on Sasuke’s femininity reinforces this.

This assumption can very well be wrong, you tell me. But even if it is, the fact that you come across as what I said above is still there.

I’ll end this by saying that I didn’t say all of this to make you feel bad, certainly no. I follow you because I agree with what you say, but when anon brought up femininity I just had to say something because, as an avid follower of yours, the topic of femininity does become superfluous in your content, and I think you misunderstood their criticisms, even if they were misplaced.

Yeah, I brought them up more than once because I see the opposite often. So it’s to push back against something I dislike. Because I can’t really go onto blogs without seeing the same old stuff I have seen since 2004. And also why I don’t really follow Naruto blogs other than like two blogs.

I also see why too often people bash and be aggressive towards any other portrayal, to the point of harassing artists. So I might as well point out it’s not far off to draw Sasuke as pretty or more feminine than Naruto.

I have shipped m/m ship where both were really manly, I actually don’t consider either Naruto or Sasuke really manly (at least not when compared to those two) so I don’t have a “need” to have a feminine and masculine man in a ship. To add to that, I don’t consider either Naruto or Sasuke as really “manly” (at least not when compared to those two) and neither girly behavior wise. That’s not what the “feminine” stuff is about. It’s just the contrast and the yin/yang stuff I find interesting. Also this is about a fictional work where two characters are written to contrast each other and it’s interesting to look into how these concepts are put into the work.

Aside from that, I do not like all the portrayals that can be seen in NS works either. I dislike “housewife” concept that can be found in both SN and NS works, because I can’t see that for either Naruto or Sasuke, I think they both would be bored to be in that kind of role. I do not like non-con. I also think people make Sasuke too girly sometimes. I also don’t like too heteronormative roles that can be found in both SN and NS. But the criticism about the things that can be found in NS are everywhere already. Way more often criticised.

To add to that, I actually feel it’s hard to find art (or fics for that matter, which is even harder) that really hits my preferences. So far I like what I have managed to gather in my #shipping tag and I don’t think any of them are offensive or fetishy.

Like I said maybe I’m just not good at explaining my points but eh. I have other topics in the making but the texts are a bit too long (because I have too much to say sigh) and I’m trying to edit them to be more enjoyable to read (since I’m not that good at writing as people can probably tell) so maybe that’s why my content is boring and I apologize for that I guess.

[astrologysvt]

Soonyoung’s Ideal Type - Natal Chart Reading

For ideal types, I’m not going to be doing specific placements of their ideal partner. Instead, I’m gonna be listing personality traits I think would mesh well with them, as well as focus on their needs and the kind of person who could meet them. what this reading cannot account for is the compromising the members would do on their end for their s/o. so just keep in mind this is only half of the whole picture!

lol whenever i start another soonyoung reading i brace myself cuz how tf am i gonna write 1.5k words ALL ON GEMINI 

but oh man do i find a way.

humor is the way to this guy’s heart. 

someone super funny & playful. 

gemini placements in general tend to get really fixated on people that intrigue them. 

someone with a lot of personality, and i think that aqua influence in him through the 11th house would make him very attracted to someone with very different life experiences from him while meeting him in the middle on likes/dislikes/perspectives. 

(lol i feel like i’ve said this before for literally every member... there’s so much aqua in this group). 

when he has a crush he’s the type to want to text/talk with them constantly, and will look for any excuse to start up a conversation/learn something new about them and spark a new discussion.

his gemini is very much fueled by the excitement of conversations that bounce back and forth, and where two people can freely ignite and fuel each other’s enthusiasm. 

when there is such a lively back and forth, it brings this sense of discovery that he really loves.

whether it’s in learning new things about himself by friction or learning new things about his s/o. 

it validates his need for a reactive audience, and makes it feel like his s/o is doing what they can to see him eye-to-eye which his gemini really appreciates.

and so because of that he’s gonna want someone super responsive who will play along with his jokes, not make him second guess himself when he’s being silly, and will always give him a really great reaction. 

he wants to be hyped up, and with that he also 100% wants to be his s/o’s #1 hype man as he loves relationships where there is a lot of pride in each other.

someone very generous with praise.

his leo rising WANTS TO BE BABIED SO HARD. 

so definitely someone who is willing to dote on him and generally be very thoughtful. 

oh man, he wants to both spoil and be spoiled.

may it be in affection, delicious food, thoughtful gifts, or words of appreciation. 

he is this super contradictory mix of doesn’t want to be told what to do/wants to be taken care of. 

and so i think a dynamic that could meet that is with someone who lets him do his thing, will stand by him/support him even if that just means being someone he can fall back on, and will offer him comfort when he needs it. he just wants to know his s/o will be there for him to lift him at his highs, and really really baby him at his lows.

with a leo rising, this puts all of his gemini placements in aqua’s house which makes him this super independent person who understands his unique place in the world.

he wants to do his own thing and not think twice about it and generally gets really frustrated when he feels he needs approval. 

then that leo in and of itself is incredibly fixed and understands well what he wants. 

then on top of that his gemini makes him super set in his ways about the conclusions he’s come to may it be on situations/stances/interests and so forth. 

but to contradict all of that, his leo rising makes him soooooo susceptible to praise and flattery which kind of frustrates his air placements.

he hates needing approval, but really feels at a loss of he needs to act without support. 

so as i said before, he wants to be hyped up and this just amplifies that.

his s/o should be ready and willing to support him and offer him validation, and preferably before he has to ask for it as this is something that really feeds that leo rising heart. 

his s/o should also just be super physically affectionate as this placement makes him a super cuddly dude!!

so something that i didn’t really get into in his chart first impressions are decans! 

when you’re looking at a chart with so many placements in one sign, to get a deeper/more nuanced analysis you can look at the decans.

his mars and moon are in 2nd decan, so this gives these planets a little tinge of libra influence. 

with the moon and mars, this is going to give his gemini placements an attitude that is a lot more focused on harmony ESPECIALLY considering the relevance these planets have to relationships.

he’s going to want to be with someone who can offer him a very balanced dynamic. 

someone who can meet his gemini’s reach for curiosity/passionate discussion as well as someone who is willing to compromise when necessary.

this is emphasized by his gemini placements that are pretty averse to people who are close-minded/set in their way/immovable by logic and debate. 

but then you throw in that libra and a sense of fairness is incredibly important to maintain in relationships or else he’ll get moody. 

this also makes him kind of flighty because he doesn’t like saying no. 

and so, in a very contradictory fashion, he may benefit from someone who is divisive enough in relationships to say it up front if something is wrong, what needs to get done, and to aid him to act when he needs to as he may find he’s more a people pleaser in closer relationships than he may like/be aware of. 

his sun and venus are in the 3rd decan (aquarius)

so this is interesting, mainly because all of his gemini is already in the 11th house so his aqua influence was incredibly strong to begin with. 

and so this brings strong sense of individuality, desire to set himself apart, as well as a strong emphasis on friends/community. 

he’s very averse to someone who wants to pin him down while also making him very attracted to someone whose very individual.

another way to really catch his intrigue is by being someone very progressive and forward thinking.

lol i also think about how he said on ofd castaway that his ideal type was someone who was a bad girl but nice to him. 

i think the concept of a bad girl would be appealing to him based off the fact the concept in and of itself is very unconventional. 

because of that, someone who is so unconcerned with being ordinary is, in and of itself, very attractive to him. 

i also think it’s important to say that i find aqua influences are going to be the ones who value friendship more than they do romance. 

he would be SO turned off by someone who felt they needed to restrict his interactions with his friends in any way shape or form -- may it be his s/o wanting him to cancel plans to hang out, his s/o wanting him their side at a party, or generally if his s/o saw the way he values friends as a threat to their relationship.

really, any kind of tug away from his friends (no matter how gentle/forceful) is going to deter him from someone. 

moving on from decans tho!

his mercury and moon are conjuct on either side of his mars. 

i think it’s interesting to have both of his moon and mars conjunct each other as this is a very dynamic, very reactive influence to have. 

this makes him that super boisterous, excitable, passionate hoshi we all know and love. 

this also makes him very straight forward in love. 

he’d honestly just think that someone who was as bold/straight-forward as he was, or someone who didn’t blink an eye at his antics would be incredibly attractive to him. 

it’d excite and encourage him. 

mercury also adds to this straight forward sense as he’s very straight to the point and expressive in language~ 

he really appreciates a very simple, predictable, candid communication style with his s/o. 

his sun is conjuct his venus which is super cute as i think this is one of the reasons hoshi is so cuddly. 

when you have the sun in conjuct to venus, you really attribute a lot of those super romantic and soft venusian vibes to him that give us Squishy Hoshi™️ 

he’s certainly a romantic, and would want someone who is very loving and affectionate. 

and kind of snowballing from his libra decan from before, this is what makes him much more accommodating than your run-of-the-mill gemini. 

he’s incredibly concerned with maintaining and seeing to his s/o’s happiness, and makes him want a simple and considerate relationship.

his mars is opposite pluto!!! this one is the WILD one. 

mars meeting pluto in hard aspect is an INCREDIBLY powerful placement. 

they’re both very intense planets -- mars ruling the more carnal aspects of ourselves and then pluto owning the more obsessive parts. 

there is a sense of extremes within him -- extremes in love, extremes in passion, extremes in bouts of anger. 

he’s very drawn to act, and having such a potent/provocative planet like pluto at the whims of the turbulent and fierce mars can give him a great sense of unrest when his gemini mars in challenged. 

so situations that may cause this placement to act out are when he’s being restricted.

gemini’s like the freedom of choice and exploration (may it be in life, career, and relationships) and so he’d really benefit being with someone who allows him to embrace this part of himself as this will avoid potential conflicts with is mars. 

with that, it is also really important that his s/o both give him space to be himself while also being willing to tell him how it is if he’s acting out-of-hand. 

his gemini’s energy is really easy to redirect, so once he’s been given a bit if perspective he gains control of the situation very quickly (see: the whole ofd japan money situation)

but that pluto influence makes his anger very all-consuming so he really struggles to reach that point without external help. 

this placement also makes him very attached/possessive in love. 

i think especially with that leo rising, that he’d want to be with someone who was okay with the idea of them being “his.” 

he wants freedom obviously, but he certainly wants to make it clear to everyone whose his s/o is and would really love it if his partner returned the sentiment as his leo likes the idea of being someone his s/o could be proud of. 

another significant thing to note in terms of relationships is his neptune and jupiter in the 6th house!! 

i think this is SUPER interesting. 

all of his energies are super intense, passionate, potentially impulsive and stubborn. 

but then you put these outer planet influence in the house of virgo that adds a strong emphasis on lifestyle, work, and domesticity. 

he wants to be with a very accountable, reliable, and generous person in daily life thanks to his jupiter in the 6th house.

then you throw in that neptune that makes him incredibly feeling/empathetic that makes him drawn to care for people without hesitation. 

both of these make him very generous/selfless in relationships, especially in terms of providing, supporting, and being generally thoughtful 

(though keep in mind that the 6th house doesn’t really come into play too much in relationships until they’re sharing a space/lifestyle). 

because of that he’d like to be with someone who 1) is equally generous and 2) is going to ensure people (themselves included) do not take advantage of this aspect! 

his openness in this regard makes him rather vulnerable to people with malintent and so someone with a discerning eye could be of benefit to him! 

another kind of interesting way of looking at it: depending on how aware his friends/family/the members are of this aspect in him -- it’s highly probable that someone who is more impulsive, self-focused, and rather insensitive to what they take vs what they give will simply not pass the “can i date soonyoung” test. 

and considering how his aqua influences make him value friendship more than romance, he’s more than likely going to listen to his friends over anything a potential suitor may have to say.  

he’s just really rather gullible in this regard and he MUST be protected. 

he is a very all-or-nothing guy on so many fronts. 

he doesn’t really know what it’s like to be stingy in love/affection. 

and so, if he’s with someone who is more reserved/practical/stoic, this brings a sense that he needs to now be self-conscious of how open he is in this regard which HE HATES. 

so it’s vital that he’s with someone very loving, very open, and just as heavy-handed in affection as he is while also being very aware, thoughtful, and considerate. 

maintaining good feelings in his relationships rely just as much on acknowledging actions as they are on giving. 

oh man, i was totally not able to touch on EVERY single aspect in his chart relating to romance and relationships so this convo can certainly be returned to. 

but the last thing i’ll touch on is his aqua descendent! 

so his rising is in leo which makes him this person who really craves recognition/validation in ways that are very self-indulgent/congratulatory (tho i wouldn’t particularly say “vain”) 

he’s certainly someone very focused on gaining approval, and where he’s gravitated to in life and love is someone who represents the exact opposite of that. 

someone who encourages him by example and validation to be himself, and removing that kind of “i need approval” blockade he may have in his personal life that causes him to second guess himself/prevents him from seeing the full picture of his importance/uniqueness. 

being with someone like that would allow him to be more focused on what he brings to the table, as opposed to simply using other’s reactions as a measurement of his worth.

he’s very much like this in his work, but this unapologetic confidence may not be extended towards relationships/romance.

generally just a sweet boy! 

he wants an exciting relationship where humor is boundless. 

i think he’d be INCREDIBLY delighted by someone who not just meets his wackiness, but attempts to one-up him. 

someone who is brave enough/trusts enough in him to stand with him when he’s putting himself out there, may it be in more serious circumstances or in defense of a really bad joke he’s made. 

and someone who is going to really teach/reinforce to him what he means when he says he values individuality. 

i think this is incredibly relevant to him due to the fact he considers himself an introvert -- there is still a strong part of him that second guesses himself when putting himself out there, that causes a kind of delay/volatility in how he expresses himself socially where he’s A LOT ALL AT ONCE and then fizzles out.

and so i think if someone is able to be that constructive/discerning eye for him while also being able to look at all the wild he is already and meet him half way is something that would 1) make him fall SO HARD but also 2) really make him feel secure enough in himself to the point he’d feel he has a choice in how extra he wants/doesn’t want to be. 

i especially think this is true considering how much more unapologetically weird he is around his members, as opposed to everyone else. 

he’d want to reach that level of comfort with his s/o. 

[hamliet]

2Ha (up to 120)

Or, Hamliet’s review of the most blatantly ‘problematic’ novel she’s ever read, which has beautiful writing and themes, and an intriguing plot that she apparently wrote a Jin Guangyao AU of without realizing it last year. Whoops. 

This is my fifth Chinese web novel, btw, after reading MXTX’s three novels (all of which I think are thematically rich and top-quality writing and character development-wise) and Female General and Eldest Princess (which has great main characters but shoddy writing). To a degree a lot of this might be due to the translation, but 2Ha is absolutely beautifully written in its dialogue, metaphors, and descriptions. 

The story revolves around the redemption of an evil emperor--Mo Ran--who commits suicide in the very first chapter, only to wake up as his fifteen year old self with a chance to redo everything... but he actually doesn’t (at first) have all that many regrets or think he needs redemption, so there’s that. Thematically, it seems to mostly be coherent so far, but it’s hard to say with only 120/300 chapters read, and I’ll discuss the ‘mostly’ below.

The main character, Mo Ran, is basically what would happen if you combined Xue Yang with Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian in a blender, but then strained out the decency Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian in particular clung to. If Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian are, archtypally, akin to the Kylo Ren/Loki archetype, then Mo Ran is Darth Vader or Thanos. 

What I appreciate about this is that the novel doesn’t make Mo Ran sympathetic because it doesn’t have to: we empathize with him because he is framed honestly. There is not an attempt to manipulate sympathy, but there is an honest portrayal of complexity without whitewashing, and that is a wise choice on behalf of the author. He’s a straight up bad dude who sucks rather than a sympathetic person who clearly wants to be good but through a combination of circumstances and personal terrible choices, is not. Or so it appears at first until Mo Ran eventually realizes/remembers that he did want to be good after all, once... and it’s directly stated as much. Yet those desires have been beaten out of him, and often he’s the one who did the beating on his own soul. 

Basically, the novel seems to be asking whether it is possible for even someone that cruel, that evil, to be redeemed. And the answer thus far (up till 120) seems to be that yes, he can be, but in a complex sense. 

Of course, there are all manner of... elements that make it a novel I absolutely encourage caution towards before engaging. The translators are great with warnings, and I had to skim some parts. There is violence, but to be honest it’s less violent than TGCF, as someone said to me before I read and which, thus far, is a sentiment I’d agree with. My main issues is its portrayal of sexual assault, which I honestly think it’s unnecessarily graphic and eroticized at parts. That said, the story does frame it fairly responsibly (as something reprehensible, but the eroticization of some brief flashbacks contradicts this and so undermines the overall framing). Rather like Scum Villain, it also seems to be aware of the unhealthy dynamics in the ship (particularly the initial age gap) and so layers it with contradictions (he’s actually lived to 32, so he isn’t fifteen; Chu Wanning is then de-aged too, nothing happens until they’re older anyways). The layering works in multiple ways, because the novel seems to, at its core, be about exploring the very limits of love, redemption, etc., in each and every crevice of possibility. 

On a personal level, the chapter where Mo Ran is awaiting judgement to get into hell and the memories of all the people he has tortured and killed start calling out his sins, and then we flashback to Chu Wanning asking Mo Ran not to forgive him, not to forgive others, but simply to forgive himself after Chu Wanning subjected himself to Mo Ran’s worst impulses, and it’s this memory, this phrase, that stops the sentence before its even written, that quiets those voices... I found it deeply meaningful, and that was perhaps my favorite chapter. It encourages empathy and enduring suffering with each other, suggesting that an honest understanding and love saves us. There’s a theological aspect to it that resonated with me as well (and, as a side note, I’m curious to read the entire thing before charting it out, but there seems to be a very clear alchemical influence as well). 

However, I earlier mentioned the slight eroticization that seems to make murky the overall framing. There’s also one recent plot twist that seemed to damage the themes. I really, really didn't like how Rong Jiu's story ended even if it's ambiguous. It essentially is, as the author even directly said in her author's notes, just that Rong Jiu wasn't lucky enough to find someone who wouldn't give up on him. After Rong Jiu spent so much time pointing out the disparities in fairness to Mo Ran (why do you get a second chance while I don’t?), to have his story presumably end with "f*ck you got mine" really does not work. At least in MDZS, while Jin Guangyao isn't saved and Wei Wuxian is, Wei Wuxian empathizes and points out that it's because of a rotten society in the end, rather than just "sucks to be you." I really hope this ends up being wrong and she didn't actually continue to leave his fate up in the air as she stated she planned to do in the author's note, because if she did, that's depressingly contradictory to the story’s themes. It’s one thing if Mo Ran will later go back and save Rong Jiu, which is where I hope it’s going; it’s entirely different if this really is the ending for him, and would keep the novel from thematically approaching MXTX’s level. 

So yeah. I am eager to see where the novel goes, although the translations are on hiatus (hats off to the translators for their beautiful work!) and I’m wavering on how desperate I am as to whether to try the MTA translations or not... 

A theory that very well may be wrong: I suspect the mysterious black-veiled water user is actually Shi Mei, mostly because Shi Mei is likable yet missing serious flaws, unlike every other major character, which makes me suspicious. He also had that very weird line during the Lake Arc when Mo Ran was captured, and water is associated with healing, which Shi Mei is also associated with. Oh, and Water Mystery seems very interested in Mo Ran loving Shi Mei and protecting his life. So if he isn’t Shi Mei, he’s someone connected to him. 

For now? 8/10, but with serious warnings for those who might seek to read it. 

[thesummerstorms]

Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 6)

CW: Series typical sexist description, I guess. 

TL;DR Recap:  Birhan attempts to chase Etain away but is dissuaded by Jinart. Darman is puzzled by nature and also severely sleep deprived. Hokan is sexist and Uthan is introduced.

Starting Kal Count: 7. Ending Kal Count: 10.

We immediately open the chapter with another Kal quote. And not even an interesting one. But that ups the Kal Count to 8.

The scene we start with though is from Etain’s pov. Birhan our vaguely contemptuous farmer, is throwing clods of dirt at Etain and telling her to “GTFO because this is all your fault” essentially. 

(Etain plays the scape goat a lot. It’s a trend. Realistically though, he’s afraid of what Hokan will do if he’s found sheltering her, given the “militia” burned people and their livelihoods last chapter.)

Etain still has no idea who Jinart is, but Jinart tells Birhan he’s being stupid. Etain tries and fails to mind influence him with yet another quote about Etain’s lack of control over the Force when it’s most needed. Jinart shoves Birhan around a bit and tries again to persuade him by basically telling him he can either get murdered by the Republic or keep Etain as a kind of human MiracleGro:

This quote is one of the big reasons that I headcanon that Etain was never really going to be happy as a mercenary farmer’s wife living in rural Mandalore with Kal, or happy in a rural/agricultural setting, period. Her strongest associations with agricultural life are the AgriCorps and Qiilura- failure and trauma. The narrative flat out tells us “agriculture spelled failure”. 

And while that might be resolved eventually with a character arc (that she doesn’t get) ag life flat out doesn’t provide the sense of purpose that Etain is so desperate for. There’s nothing dishonorable about farming, but Etain sees it as “life on a backwater planet, talking to grain” and through out the series she strives for the opportunity to make a real difference to other people. Misguidedly at times, I’ll admit, but I don’t think she could have ever been content with what was being offered.

Anyway, Jinart steers Etain back in the direction of the barn. Etain is getting understandably paranoid, but there’s some narration in this scene I just don’t get?

I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this scene. Enough that I’ll probably make a separate post later. I’m trying to keep my posts brief, I really am, but I pull so much from these couple of pages for Etain.

My first thought is that it’s really, really fucking weird to put Etain’s digression about Jedi values of anti-attachment here, relative to this barn...as opposed to like, idk, a reflection on her life versus the clones’ later. 

Of fucking course the barn isn’t home. It’s a place she’s been hiding from people who want to kill, torture, or rape her while behind enemy lines on a military mission and the owner of the barn just directly threatened her, if ineffectively. “No loves, no attachments” well, yeah, you’re surrounded by enemies and your teacher was just tortured to death. “At least it wouldn’t be hard to tear herself away from here.” Well, no shit. Was that ever even a realistic option?

Then we immediately get the highlighted exchange with Jinart, and again, I’m repeatedly struck by how differently Omega’s grief versus Etain’s is frame. I’m not saying that Etain’s statement is wrong, or even out of character necessarily. 

But it’s super detached, again. Granted, the clones don’t spend time weeping on screen. But their grief at losing their respective squads is brought up repeatedly. The prologue and most of the first chapter are either Darman realizing he’ll never see his squad again or Niner and Fi’s heartbreaking conversation about it. It plays into Niner’s repeated fears for Darman and his anger with Atin. It plays in to Atin’s seeming callousness towards Darman. Etain has a scene later where she asks Darman if he misses his brothers, and he goes quiet and hurt and the weight of the scene rightly falls on her like a hammer.

While Etain... I’m not saying it doesn’t affect her actions; it very visibly affects her paranoia. But it’s never handled quite like grief, if that makes sense? At least not after the initial death.

Speaking of paranoia... Jinart really has no call to be offended that Etain is suspicious, given what’s happened to Etain over the last several weeks and the fact that Jinart spends much of the rest of the novel insinuating she’s naive and useless. Etain has every right to be paranoid, all things considered. But then we get this contradictory mess of a conversation:

The soothing bit doesn’t make sense to me. But I’m biased because I dislike Jinart based on the whole scope of the series. And again Etain grieving and feeling alone and hating being alone in grief makes sense, but the framing of this quote is super weird. Especially as the farmers haven’t demonstrated and “home”-like behavior or even family loyalties on screen.

But we’re finally moving on from this huge ass rant about this scene as we open onto Darman crawling through an open field with his kit and generally being overwhelmed by the sheer openness of everything+ the physical strain when he’s already wounded and exhausted. During the course of this, it comes up that Dar is still desperately hungry, so he starts thinking about what wildlife might be edible, and then about Kal and uj cake.

Kal Count is increased to 9.

Darman is exhausted and fatigued, and most of the section, while interesting, can just be boiled down to him trying to motivate himself to keep going because he’s terrified he’ll miss the rendezvous with the rest of Omega Squad. The same kind of bird that brought down his ship in the first place eats the remote he was using to scout ahead, so he swears at it. There’s another mention of Kal teaching them to build defensive fortifications which ups the Kal Count to 10.

But there’s also a fair bit of fascination as he’s experiencing nature for the first time. He takes his helmet off to smell the breeze, soaks in the stream, and is captivated by his first view of the daywings, which makes you think he is kind of a small-details guy. 

...Dar....

anyway, he falls asleep eventually without much more of note happening in this section. We move to Ghez Hokan introducing the reader to Separatist scientist and would-be creator of the anti-clone bio weapon, Qail Ovolot Uthan. 

I appreciate Uthan a lot as a character, despite her later handling in Imperial Commando: 501st, but this particular introduction still makes me cringe.

I legitimately can’t tell if this is how Traviss thinks of this character, or if this is deliberate characterization of Hokan via his descriptions of Uthan, but ugh.

Hokan: She knows I can’t be seduced, but she still wants to seduce me!

Ugh. The man is also way caught up his own ass in terms of what he thinks other people think of him. He doesn’t want to sit in Uthan’s brocaded chair because it’s “too decadent” but does it anyway because otherwise he would be addressing her while standing like a servant. Dude, you need some therapy. What’s the Mando expression? All helmet, no head?

Anyway, I really, really like Uthan here actually. She’s super ruthless, and even if she’s not a great person, ruthless and somewhat ammoral female characters are a fun rarity. I wish that KT could have kept it up throughout the series rather than making her into “bitter lonely career woman”, but look how casually she decides her work is threatened and then which of her associates she needs to cooly dispose of to prevent that happening:

The smartest thought Hokan has had so far is the recognition that if she’ll arrange to dispose of Ankkit, she’ll do the same to him, honestly. But when Uthan sees him hesitate, she goes right for the kill and presses just the right button to utterly manipulate him. He even recognizes it, but is unable to not be convinced.

She tells him that the clones are clones of Jango Fett. And of course he goes all Death Watch and Mandalorian Honor about it.

Honestly, Hokan. And then we finish the chapter with the thing that really makes me question his intelligence:

“To make them proper men again?”

this is the third time I’ve said it.... but how the fuck do you think viruses work, Hokan?

Honestly.

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x04

Well now, we’ve hit a rather interesting point in the season now haven’t we? Can you say DRAH-MAH. This week’s episode, ‘An Inside Glob’, sees the tension that’s been mounting in the first three episodes of season 6 reach boiling point. And then boil over. Into a restaurant full of onlookers. Then onto Reddit. Lol. Now I may be biased because of my love of Miriam Shor (or I am simply an appreciator of good directing when I see it), but this week’s ep was so well put together, it felt like there was ample room for each scene to breathe and the pacing overall felt significantly less frantic than it sometimes does. There was a familiarity, for lack of a better word, about the structure and the feel of this ep, not to mention the writing left me legit laughing out loud many times throughout. The writers are bringing it this season. We also see the welcome return of two faves: Charles’ three-piece suit and Liza’s silver-suit power-tude. Let’s dive on in.

You always know it’s going to be a good ep when it opens with a loft heart-to-heart between Liza and Maggie, but not before Liza meets Maggie’s new boo Beth (with Liza’s ‘ew’ and hand wiping after Maggie tells her they just finished a session equal parts gold and gross). Their whole interaction, from the ‘I promise not to call him Chaz’ (was anyone else hoping she would call him Chaz, because I was HANGING for a Chaz drop at dinner. There’s still time...), to Liza sharing her concerns that Charles is secretly financing a new company and Maggie trying to justify all the coincidences and reassure her, it was just premium bff content. Not to mention a great set-up for the episode and follow on from the last one.

Liza continues to try and allay her suspicions about Charles by getting Kelsey’s view of the funding source after the morning meeting with my new fave power-trio (quick poll: Zane always looking like a dog who just ate your pizza - accurate or nay?) and Diana brings the top quality delivery of one liners right from the get-go as we’re introduced to this week’s author, Bronwyn Madigan (aka, the cash cow whose milk Millennial could use...yes, D. Trout, you did need to say that). Apparently baby boomers like to top off their reading of erotica with a good meatloaf (actual meatloaf, get your minds out of the euphemistic gutter) and that is now two foodstuffs I have a strained relationship with following this ep of Younger. Liza is able to quash her spidey senses re: the Mercury money briefly, as Kelsey reveals she’s been doing some digging and discovered the company is operating out of the financial district, therefore obviously it’s a big media company behind it. Obviously...

Lo and behold Kelsey marches her feisty self down to the Mercury office to confront Zane and weaves through hopeful start-up founders in a co-working space to find him (also, are AirPods a pre-req to land a job at Mercury?). Their entire exchange had a couple of ‘whoa’ moments for me. Exhibit A, when discussing how Zane secured Audrey Colbert’s book:

Kelsey: ‘So you slept with her? God, that is completely unethical. And so creepy”

Zane: ‘But it’s fine when you do it?’

File under: T for TRUTH. Not gonna lie, I almost applauded. I would have filed under H for Hypocrite except the next part of the conversation, in which Kelsey throws the accusation that Zane went after Audrey because he knew she was (and I’m with Zane on this one, she is going to need to learn to suck it up when Millennial loses out on books, our pal Kels is on one steep learning curve), followed with, ‘that book was important to me and you knew it’, goes straight to the H folder. How does Zane know it? Could it be because Kelsey told Zane she was going after Audrey’s book? Even after he told her he had a job, that he was just waiting for everything to line up and considering his history of swooping in and being competitive? While they are not fully comparable situations, I found this a bit rich considering the grief Kelsey gave Liza for discussing business with Charles (I get that was her insecurity and feeling he would interfere), when her discussions with Zane have seemingly led him to going after this book. Which is 100% in character for him btw.

I have been liking a lot of Kelsey’s boss moments this season but this week it certainly felt like she was in way over her head. At her lunch with Lauren, yet another combo I thoroughly enjoy on my screen, we once again see Lauren being the relentlessly supportive friend she always is and educating Kelsey on the dos and don’ts of dating apps (surely Kelsey knew that deleting an app doesn’t delete your profile right??? Putting it down to stress amnesia). Pointing out that putting your job title on your dating profile if it is in any way a potential threat to male ego is a big no-no (’this kind of over-accomplishment only works if you’re trying to pick up women’), Lauren offers up that Kelsey suffers from BDE. Of course we later discover that rather than big dick energy, Kelsey is suffering bald dude energy, confirmed by her alopecia diagnosis. I did so enjoy Kelsey’s dramatic reactions, ‘just keep an eye out ok?’, to the whole ordeal and it certainly added another element to the rising tension.

Cue hilarious conversation with Diana about her own battle with hair loss (not on her head) along with the rest of her ailments (shingles seems to be a running theme this season. Did someone in the writers room have a shingles flair up recently after reading a particularly terrible autobiography or suffer month-specific breakouts aka Diana’s electric tube top? Need to know). Even though it was not making Kelsey feel better necessarily, this was Diana being supportive in her own way and I am just here for it every day of the week. I think what I enjoyed most about the office scenes in this episode, aside from every single line that came out of Diana’s mouth, were the moments that were reminiscent of the old office dynamic. From Diana bleating ‘Liza’ as she enters Liza’s office (still can’t believe that’s a thing) with the idea of advertising erotica on the bike kiosks to the sarcasm when Liza asks ‘Bronwyn’s?’ and Diana responds with ‘no, my own’. We finally get to meet author of ‘The Seasoned Slut’ (loving the guest casting this season btw) who oozes a self-assurance that only serves to emphasise her reason for not re-signing with Millennial: that her problem ‘is with the lack of value placed on experience’. Ugh, I loved this line. 

I loved it because it is an absolute reality, especially for women in the workplace, and goes hand in hand with the ageism this show’s entire premise was built upon. I loved it because this show tells us that experience is and should be valued through Zane’s comment in episode one, that Kelsey should not lose Diana as she is the best in the business and Kelsey telling Diana that she values and respects her. And I loved this line because the set-up for this season remains true to the original premise and challenges it at the same time, taking another look at the role age/experience and gender play in success and reinventing yourself. Did I mention I love this show?

Liza’s reaction to the question of ‘where is the grey hair in the room?’ was also noted, a nice reminder that the age-lie is still in play and is never far from the surface. The other thing I loved in the meeting with Bronwyn was Diana’s horror that she a) might be considered the demographic for her books and b) ‘do people think I’m her age?’ I cannot imagine a time I will ever watch this line and not roar with laughter. I also love that that was the main takeaway Diana had from the whole BJ comment this woman just casually dropped in as she exited, you know, as one might mention they know a great bagel place you might enjoy nearby. 

Josh’s parenting journey continues to unfold as he gets his first overnight stay with Gemma, but not before experiencing some kind of parental rite of passage and being squirted in the face with breast milk. I know there is a lot of mistrust of Clare out there in the internet but I will keep saying this week after week, I am so enjoying seeing Josh and Clare navigating this modern-day parenting arrangement together. I appreciate Josh’s desire to be there for both Clare and Gemma in any way he can and I appreciate that Clare appears to be open and wanting the same. I am not the biggest fan of baby storylines in general but I tell you what, to see Lauren pacing up and down cradling this little person, I am 100% pro-baby. This is one of my favourite moments of the whole episode and just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be any more layers to Lauren Heller, I get the up-all-night-with-crying-baby Lauren and I simply cannot: ‘I have been up all night with a crying baby. Why? I don’t know, because the rest of you either don’t have ears or you don’t have souls’. Early contender for line of the season. Kelsey’s bag-of-hair inducing scream finally wakes Josh and Lauren’s reaction, for him to ‘get it together man, Kelsey doesn’t need this’, epitomises Lauren’s selfless nature (which I just love as it seems so contradictory to her sometimes self-absorbed tendencies). It was not because she was up all night with his child, it was that Kelsey was in the midst of a crisis that Lauren needed Josh to pull it together and it just reinforces yet again what a multi-dimensional, caring character she is. And yes Josh, you are the dad, not the babysitter (kudos for this Alison Brown) so you may need to learn to sleep a little more lightly or something FYI.

Kelsey’s hair stress continues to play out as she runs into Maggie, who was also hoping to make a covert pharmaceutical purchase and the two wander back to Maggie’s for the scene I have been looking forward to since the possibility of such a scene came into play. I am of course talking about dinner at the loft and the integration of Charles into the friend circle. Kelsey’s freak out seems to be hitting fever pitch as she asks Beth for advice but this is soon interrupted by the arrival of Charles and Liza, who come bearing blackout cake (which I googled and holy chocolate pudding it looks AMAZING) in the most adorbs coupley entrance and don’t mind me, just having a quiet gush over here. Ok, I’m done. While Kelsey is over chatting with her old boss, Beth puts her naturopathy into practice by suggesting Maggie take a more natural approach to treating her yeast infection, doing some seasoning of her own to let a clove of garlic work its magic. Between jalapeno dick and garlic vag, this show loves to make us consider our spices in a whole new light.

This entire dinner party scene was next level, I want to frame a picture of it and put it on my wall because yes. We have casual, relaxed Charles, who is the first to ask if there is garlic bread on the menu (I love so much that he was the first to smell it) and seriously, from this moment, the unfolding of the garlic saga was nothing short of amazing. Kelsey was so amped this whole scene, she’s like a tightly wound ball and it was palpable. Her interjections as she commented that it smells like an everything bagel and agreement about the garlic knot and escargot were just brilliant contrasts to her otherwise increasing intensity. I so adored seeing Kelsey and Charles interacting casually and seeing what this would (ahem, could have) look like. But Kelsey asking Liza if she’d told Charles about Brownyn Madigan...I’m sorry, but how could she WHEN SHE CAN’T TALK ABOUT WORK WITH CHARLES? This bit made my head hurt a bit. Surely Liza in that moment must have been thinking the same (also Liza’s moment of identifying a garlic knot, so so good). 

What I love most about this scene is that we have Kelsey’s conversation getting more intense by the minute as she jumps from unloading about the stress of work, to Zane and his new venture, before finally climaxing with her ‘who is it?’ declaration, all the while having zero suspicion that Mercury’s investor is sitting right beside her. Side note: I really like Charles’ comment that he’s sure it is business, not personal re: Zane. I think it’s interesting considering the stereotype that women are too emotional vs. men and I’m curious to see how this plays out this season as Kelsey finds her feet. Meanwhile, Charles is trying to have a nice double date with his gf, while also keeping a secret that is the cause of much of the distress Kelsey is sharing with the table, while Liza takes the opportunity to make Charles squirm by pressing the point about the money for Zane’s venture coming from somewhere. It’s such an intricate web and of course parallel to that is Maggie’s secret vagina garlic that has the whole room assuming some kind of paranormal baking is taking place before Maggie responds to Kelsey’s ‘who is it?’ with, ‘it’s me!’ and it was just too much. My reaction was the same as everyone around the table when Maggie announced the source of the garlicky aroma, what a dinner party (and what a way for Charles to avoid any further scrutiny).

I am so glad that the conversation that needed to happen finally did this week and that was, of course, Liza confronting Charles about his involvement in Mercury. Oy, my heart. It broke a little when Liza gave Charles the opportunity to come clean and he didn’t and she had to ask so directly. It was so good to hear these two talking, like properly talking, and Charles explaining that he had to make choices in order to be with Liza but he never wanted to give up publishing for good was great insight into the journey Charles has been on post-Empirical, especially as we really haven’t been privy to that. I felt for both of them at various stages during the conversation. I do believe Liza understands why Charles would want to reinvent himself but I also understand why she would feel so hurt that he would keep such a huge thing from her (although again, they’d agreed not to talk about work at Liza’s request so *insert shrug emoji here*). 

But it does highlight an ongoing issue which I really hope gets properly addressed sometime soon and that is where Liza’s loyalties lie. I think it is unquestionably not ok that Charles set up a rival company while Chairman of the Board of Millennial, for obvious reasons. However, had he told Liza, she would have felt compelled to tell Kelsey, which I have no doubt Charles knows and would expect as she is the publisher, so in not telling Liza he is yes protecting his own interests but also stopping her from being in a compromised position. So while Charles’ secrecy is disappointing, so is Liza’s text to Kelsey the following morning asking to meet before work after Charles asked specifically that she tell no one about him financing Mercury just yet. 

This episode comes to a head at Suffolk House in a most spectacular fashion. Hilary Duff really did knock this entire ep out of the water with her acting, I cannot heap enough praise on her for the entire performance. You just knew it was gonna be good when Liza turned up as Kelsey was intercepting Bronwyn in an attempt to convince her that Zane was a bitter ex-employee (not very professional IMO but we won’t focus on that for now), only to discover that Bronwyn didn’t know Zane from a wart on her butt (delightful). She was in fact there to meet...dun-dun-dunnnnn...Charles (shout-out to the three piece suit, always a welcome sight, did not disappoint)! Kelsey was justifiably angry, however the stark contrast in experience and maturity was well and truly on show as she proceeded to express herself very loudly and publicly, despite Charles and Zane suggesting they step outside. Zane clocked the smart phone filming the entire incident and you just knew that Kelsey’s outburst was going to come back to bite her.

Regardless of whether Kelsey was in the right or wrong, she certainly came off worse in the way she handled it. My favourite part of the scene was Liza FINALLY re-awakening that gutsy silver suit wearing power, her turning and telling Bronwyn that Charles called her books matron lit was this season’s manuscript drop. And thank f-ing god. One of the things I’ve always loved about the Liza/ Charles dynamic is that Liza stands up for herself with him when she doesn’t with so many others and she is not afraid to call him out, which has been missing these past couple of eps. So now that that has been restored, I am legit so excited to see how this relationship moves forward.

The ramifications of the restaurant confrontation are of course trending on Reddit by the next morning, and Liza and Diana have the unenviable job of delivering the news that even though Charles was in the wrong for setting up the company the way he did, he has since resigned from the board and a number of authors are making noise about jumping ship to Mercury (I was going to say that I think Kelsey might have preferred it if her eyebrows actually had fallen off in that moment but I feel like that’s probs false).

The fact that Kelsey and Charles are pitted against one another as publishers and Liza and Zane as editors provides the most glorious opportunity to explore the ideas of reputation vs. experience. vs. gender vs. fresh ideas and I am so here for it, so damn excited, and so sure that whatever ends up playing out this season, it will be nothing that I expect. In the meantime I’m going to compile every Diana Trout line from this episode into a ringtone because what workplace wouldn’t want Diana talking about nutcracker’s oesophagus ringing through the open-plan office?

[analyzingdestiel]

Destiel Review of 7x17: The Born-Again Identity

________________________________

SCENE 1

________________________________

DEAN So, Daphne – is that, uh, your wife?

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL She found me and cared for me.

DEAN Meaning?

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL Oh, it's a...strange story. You may not like it.

DEAN Believe me, I will.

________________________________

Castiel having a wife as Emmanuel isn't proof against Destiel because he doesn't remember who he truly is. Plus, I will mention again that polygamy is a thing, though that's not relevant here because this is Castiel without his memories. In a sense, it isn't entirely Castiel. This Castiel doesn't remember Dean, meaning he wouldn't have the feelings that developed, knowing Dean.

Dean's questioning it seems to be related to finding out how it happened, how much Castiel remembers, etc. I don't feel Dean is jealous per say though he does seem to be exhibiting discomfort over the idea. Though this could be discomfort over the situation in general.

________________________________ 

SCENE 2

DEAN Spiritual? Okay. Someone did this to him.

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL You're angry.

DEAN Well, yeah. Dude broke my brother's head.

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?

DEAN Yeah, well, he's gone.

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL Did you kill him? I sense that you kill a lot of people. Even without his memories, without knowing his full capabilities, Castiel is able to sense things. He can feel Dean's vibrations. These are things we've been aware of for quite some time but it just further proves it. He can sense what Dean feels.

DEAN Honestly, I-I-I don't know if he is dead. I just know that this... whole thing couldn't be messier. You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't – I don't know why.

________________________________

This confession says a lot. Dean is saying that he's usually able to "shake it off" when people betray him. That he is usually able to get over it, "water under the bridge" sort of thing. But with Castiel, he isn't able to. I find this confession very interesting. Because of what Castiel meant to him, who he was for him, Dean is having a difficult time forgiving him. Again, it shows us how much Castiel meant to Dean. How much being able to trust Castiel meant to Dean, and how hurt he is that he was betrayed. How much pain he's in mirrors how much Castiel meant to him. If he hadn't cared as much as he did, he wouldn't be in as much pain over the betrayal.

________________________________

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL Well, it doesn't matter why.

DEAN Of course it matters.

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human. Your friend's name was Cas? That's an odd name.

________________________________

Castiel pointing out to Dean that he's human and not a machine I feel is important for Dean to hear. He often spends his time trying to hide his emotions, but Castiel is telling him that it's alright to feel. This also shows us how Castiel views things and I feel Dean is aware that Castiel is ultimately, not a bad guy. I think because Dean was betrayed that he may deny it or have a harder time seeing it but that a small part of him does realize that Castiel is not evil or bad and that he did have Dean's best interest at heart when he decided to work with Crowley.

I also feel it's important that, despite it all, Dean still refers to Castiel as "Cas", which shows there's still a closeness there. And I feel Castiel pointing that out was deliberate on the writers' end.

________________________________ 

SCENE 3

DEAN Help, huh? You mean see if you can't turn harmless little Cas out there into an angel-sized weapon?

MEG Like you're taking him caroling. And by the way, you really want to keep going with no backup? Hey, I don't trust you, either. But I could really use Emmanuel. And he trusts you. So for now, it's in everyone's best interests to hold hands and cross the street together, okay?

________________________________

Meg wants to use Dean to get to Castiel; she uses Dean because Castiel, even without his memory, trusts Dean. I find it interesting how Castiel has faith in Dean despite not knowing who he is. Though Castiel is able to feel Dean's vibrations, and despite knowing Dean has killed a lot, he senses that Dean wouldn't hurt him.

________________________________

SCENE 4

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL Why wouldn't you tell me? Being an angel – it sounds pleasant.

DEAN It's not, trust me. It's bloody, it's corrupt. It's not pleasant.

MEG He would know. You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually.

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL We're... friends? Am I Cas? I-I had no idea. I don't remember you. I'm sorry.

________________________________

Again, Dean and Castiel are referred to as "best friends" by outsiders. Bobby was the first to refer to them as such and Meg is the second. This shows us how others have perceived the two and while it isn't proof of Destiel, it is proof of a friendship. More than a friendship, in fact. Everyone knows that most successful relationships begin as a friendship. And they were beyond friendship; they were perceived as being best friends to outsiders. And between the two of them, they considered one another to be "family". This is most likely why Dean is unable to forgive Castiel for what he'd done; Castiel wasn't just a random person or even just a friend. Castiel was family to him, like a brother. It's like the times Sam has betrayed him; it always destroys Dean and both Dean and Sam have wanted to separate from each other in the past (and in fact had). Though with Dean, even when he does separate from family, it never lasts. And obviously, the feelings he has for Castiel now won't last either. And as usual, Castiel is apologetic toward Dean.

________________________________

SCENE 5

CASTIEL I remember you.

CASTIEL turns to face DEAN.

CASTIEL I remember everything.

ACT FOUR

EXT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

CASTIEL What I did. What I became. Why didn't you tell me?

DEAN Because Sam is dying in there.

CASTIEL Because of me. Everything. All these people. I shouldn't be here.

CASTIEL walks away.

DEAN Cas. Cas!

[to MEG] You stay here.

[calls after CASTIEL] Cas!

________________________________

Castiel is showing that he is very regretful for what had happened and what he did. Though he hadn't intended for things to happen the way they did, he still blames himself for it.

________________________________ 

SCENE 6

CASTIEL is walking away from the hospital, with DEAN close behind him.

DEAN If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time.

________________________________

I can't tell whether this is unintentionally contradictory writing, Dean being fickle, or Dean being manipulative. Perhaps because Dean saw how regretful Castiel was, his walls lowered. Or perhaps because he needs Castiel to help Sam, he is trying his best to convince Castiel to come back and help him to save Sam.

________________________________

CASTIEL Don't defend me. Do you have any idea the death toll in Heaven? On Earth?

CASTIEL stops and turns to face DEAN.

CASTIEL We didn't part friends, Dean.

DEAN So what?

CASTIEL I deserved to die. Now, I can't possibly fix it... So why did I even walk out of that river?

DEAN Maybe to fix it. Wait.

DEAN opens the trunk of the car and takes out CASTIEL’s trenchcoat. He holds it out to CASTIEL.

________________________________

The fact that Dean kept Castiel's trench coat this entire time says a lot. He moved it from car to car each time he used a different vehicle. Despite Castiel having betrayed him, he still held onto that trench coat. It was the last piece of Castiel that he had to hold onto and so it had sentimental value. Dean certainly wasn't keeping it out of hatred. And though Castiel did, according to Dean, betray him/them, he also does have memories of the things Castiel had done for him beforehand.

________________________________ 

SCENE 7

CASTIEL I'm sorry. This isn't a problem I can make disappear. And you know that. [pause] But I may be able to shift it.

DEAN Shift?

CASTIEL Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet.

CASTIEL sits on the bed close to SAM.

CASTIEL It's better this way. I'll be fine.

SAM flinches.

DEAN Wait, Cas, what are you doing?

CASTIEL Now, Sam...

HALLUCIFER This may hurt. And if I can't tell you again...

CASTIEL ...I'm sorry I ever did this to you.

CASTIEL puts a hand on SAM’s head. SAM groans in pain and his face and eyes glow red. The red travels up CASTIEL’s arm and face and his eyes turn red. SAM groans and gasps for breath.

DEAN Sam?

DEAN walks around the bed to the other side.

SAM Dean!

DEAN Sam!

SAM Cas? Cas, is that you?

CASTIEL sees HALLUCIFER on the bed in SAM’s place.

HALLUCIFER Hello... brother.

CASTIEL stands up and backs away in horror. SAM and DEAN look at each other. HALLUCIFER laughs.

________________________________

Castiel was willing to take all of the trauma of Sam's soul. He'd said in 6x22 that "he would make it up to Dean". And I feel this was how he did it; by saving Sam. His doing this not only shows us how much he's willing to sacrifice for the Winchesters, but also that he is redeemable and that he's back to being our regular Castiel. At least, until he takes the trauma of Sam's soul, which damages him.

________________________________

SCENE 8

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

SAM and DEAN leave the building.

SAM I don't know. I mean, we can't just leave him.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

DEAN (V-O) Well, we can't bring him with us. Everything on the planet's out for us, okay?

CASTIEL is sitting sadly on the edge of a bed, dressed in white hospital clothes.

DEAN (V-O) Word gets out, we can't protect him. Not really.

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

DEAN This is safer.

DEAN and SAM stop at the driver’s and passenger doors of the car and talk over the car.

DEAN Every demon who knows about Cas is dead.

SAM Not everyone. Look, Dean, this whole "enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing feels kind of like a demon deal.

DEAN It's not a deal. It's –

SAM It's what?

DEAN Mutually assured destruction. Look, man, I get it. She's not our friend. We don't even have friends. All our friends are dead.

DEAN gets into the car.

________________________________

We're being shown that he's willing to leave Castiel there, where as he was unwilling to leave Sam there. Though circumstances are different, and Dean feels that they wouldn't be able to protect him if word got out. So he feels Castiel is safest being left there, even if with Meg.

Dean still doesn't view Castiel as being their friend. I initially thought this was because Dean still didn't trust him. But I thought of the handing off of the trench coat, and I feel we were supposed to consider that them "making up". Especially after Castiel then went and saved Sam. "We don't even have friends. All our friends are dead". I feel perhaps because Castiel's mind is so warped after taking Sam's trauma that Dean considers him to be "dead" yet again.

Or perhaps he was just truly manipulating Castiel and used him to save Sam and that things are still the same for him, where he doesn't trust Castiel or consider him a friend.

This episode honestly has given me mixed signals; or, well, at least, Dean has. Maybe Dean doesn’t even know how to feel, himself. Maybe Dean has mixed feelings about Castiel and that’s the entire point; a part of him cares deeply for Castiel but another part doesn’t feel he can trust him.

I'll have to see more episodes at this point to determine that. Though this episode ended on quite a sad note and I have the feeling we were meant to view this as Dean having abandoned Castiel.

________________________________

The rating doesn’t go up or down.

DESTIEL RATING AFTER EPISODE (BASED ON HOW BELIEVABLE): 4.7/10

[emissary-of-stuff]

League of Villains - What I think about them

I really like the League of Villains in BNHA because they’re all outcasts, and also I like villains in general. But all of them are well written, have good reasons to be villains (not sure why Compress is one). All of them experienced backlash or hate from the hero society due to who they are or their quirks.

      Honestly, I wanted to make this so I could compile some of my favorite screenshots of the League members and talk about them such as why I like them and other things. Warning, this will contain spoilers for the bnha manga, up to the current chapter. Do not read if you are not caught up on the manga, that being chapter 227 as of this day.

Shigaraki Tomura also known as Simura Tenko!  His quirk, decay. It can be used for bad and good. I mean, he uses it to hurt people, but if he were a hero it would be very useful in search and rescue. His quirk could destroy obstacles blocking or crushing civilians. He uses his quirk very methodically when he wants to, such as dissolving the skin and tissue of Aizawa’s elbow and having the decay creep up Overhauls arms. I find this to be very cool, as his quirk also has different rates of decay. Some objects he touches decay rapidly while others act very slowly. I don’t know if it’s because he wills it to, or if the quirk is acting off of his emotions. An example of that being if Shigaraki is calm, the decay would take longer to spread. 

     Also, his personality. Yeah, Shigaraki acted like a brat in the beginning but he has grown. Plus I love his use of video game references such as “game over” “final boss” and such. Shigaraki now is more mature, he looks after his team. He cares about their input and wants them to be happy and I really like that. Plus, he has shown to trust them by taking them to wherever he lived, this being after AFO was defeated, and even opening up to them about his past. Hell, when Magne got killed by Overhaul, Shigaraki rushed to kill him. He massively cares about his team as they are no longer like pawns, but like a family to him.    Another reason I like him is that he honestly can be redeemed in a sense. From an early age, his family was killed, his memories of them were suppressed, and All for One basically groomed him into becoming a villain. He never really got the chance to know that what he is doing is wrong.

 Himiko Toga.  First of all, I am honestly a big fan of characters who are somewhat unhinged. And holy crap does Himiko fit that. Also, I find her design very appealing and cute. The pointed teeth, messy hair buns, gleaming eyes, I find those to be really cool! And her quirk, honestly I find it to be fascinating. The fact that she can become someone by drinking their blood and how much depends on how long the transformation lasts. That is truly amazing. Up until the current chapter, we have seen Himiko Toga use her quirk three or maybe four times.       The reason I say maybe three or four is because in the sports festival she was disguised as Ochako but then that disguise slipped off to reveal Camie, another disguise.  She also used the only container of Izuku’s blood that she had to help the heroes in the Overhaul Arc by leading Ochako and Tsuyu to where the battle was. And honestly, I find that to be very kind of her. Izuku is a person she absolutely admires and wants to be, so having his blood is like having something priceless and invaluable. And she used it. She used it to help Izuku, to get help.   And currently in the manga’s arc she transformed into Ochako and somehow actually used Ochako’s quirk. I honestly believed Doctor Tsubasa somehow boosted their quirks. But I’m getting off track here.  Himiko admires and normalises knives and blood with her quirk, and I honestly like that. As mentioned by Curios-san in the recent manga arc, blood and admiration don’t go well together.  Also we found out that Himiko is the eldest of her family, and that she has siblings. I found this to be very interesting as her parents treated her and her quirk as something abnormal, meaning their quirks are not like hers. It’s possible someone in the family tree had a quirk involving blood and Himiko got the genetics of that, but we’re not sure since this is all speculation. But I really want to know what her siblings' quirks are.   And as I mentioned earlier, I find her quirk to be fascinating. She can copy the appearance, but can’t use the quirk. She only targets people with quirks that she can fake or get by without using, such as Camie and Ochako, thus why she picked Camie out in the sports festival. Regarding her quirk, she could transform into Sero but just wouldn’t be able to use the tape since Sero’s quirk is an emitter and his elbows just help with that and are not a mutant quirk.  I’m probably going to post a separate thing about me ranting and discussing about characters quirks since this portion is getting long.

Compress aka Atsuhiro Sako!  So, he has a passion for theatrics which I absolutely love. His outfit, his speech, this guy has a thing for showbizz and magic.     I honestly love his outfit, even though some may call it a disaster, but like. The dude has this long trenchcoat, top hat, and 6 or so masks. Yes, I’ve tried counting how many masks this guy has. His outfit is as extravagant and over the top as he is and I honestly like that a lot. Heck, the Leagues outfits say a lot about their characters.  So when Magne was killed and Shigaraki down, Compress wasted no time in trying to apprehend Overhaul which led to the loss of his arm. Compress cares about his team, that much is shown. Also he gives advice to Toga about the yakuza and criminal underworld.  His age is unknown but he does call himself “old man” when giving Toga the advice mentioned above. When I read that I felt bad for him because, c’mon man, you’re cool!   His quirk is honestly really amazing as he can just stash something into a marble, be it a truck or a person. I don’t know if there is a size limit to what his quirk can hold, or how he even gets the marbles for it, but I find it to be pretty cool. Heck, he freaking blasted Overhaul’s arm off using his quirk! That was epic. Also, I think he killed Snatch, not Dabi. Yes, Dabi caused the fire but Compress put him in a marble. At least, that’s what it seemed like since there was something in the marble. 

Dabi Oh boy, so I might go one a lot with this. Not sure if it will be as long as Himiko’s but let’s find out.   Ok, so I like Dabi for a multitude of reasons. His quirk, his real identity, his motives, and all the potential.  But as much as I like him as a character, he’s done some bad shit. I mean, the guy burned criminals alive in an alleyway, tried to kill/injure Aizawa and Vlad, even though he knew he would lose. Also a good thing he did was like, the guy didn’t attack Aoyama when he saw him. He left him alone. Something else I like is his boldness and seemingly uncaring attitude. I mean, the dude took some Noumu to fight Endeavor, knew he didn’t stand a chance, but still tried anyways.  And like, what is he even thinking by recruiting the number 2 hero? I mean, Dabi isn’t that oblivious. Most likely he knows Hawks is a spy or something.   Also his scars are pretty cool, not to mention that the dude wears what looks to be a leather jacket. 

Twice aka Jin Bubigawara!!  Ok, I abosolutely love Twice’s character. The guy reminds me of Deadpool with his costume, antics and such. His internal struggle within himself that is the two contradictory personalities. He’ll say something is fine, then say it’s horrible. And while we treat this as funny, in my eyes, it’s honestly sad.   Seeing Jin in his apartment argueing with the voice, struggling to get his mask on. It makes me sad. Jin is a victim to his own quirk. Not to mention he saw clones of himself kill eachother, which has got to be traumatic. Heck, he doesn’t even know if he’s the original and I find that to be so sad.  Not even knowing if you’re even...you.  And Twice is honestly a pretty supportive person, he yells at Overhaul for getting Magne’s gender wrong, expresses concern over Toga, hangs out with them. I just, I really like Twice you guys.  And then there’s the whole thing going down in the current arc, with that Liberation Army guy using their quirk to make Twice see clones of himself all around him.  Like, the guy just saw Toga bleeding and cold, is extremely concerned and worried for his friend, and now he’s practically going into a tramumatic episode. Heck, when he saw the clones his mind flashed to that day. Just, I want to help him. He doesn’t deserve this.

SPINNER! Ok, so I really like Spinner you guys. His character, his design, his motives, his backstory.  He stopped Magne from attacking Izuku because Stain deemed Izuku worthy. This guy practically cosplays Stain. Heck, his weapon is a bunch of swords and blades chained together.  I like to think upon him finding out Stain uses blades, he didn’t know which kind so he just got literally all of them. This guy is a dork. Heck, one of my favorite panels is him swerving the van and yelling “GRAND THEFT AUTO!!”  Spinner questions the Leagues motives, wondering if attacking police is really going to change the society he lives in. Say what you want, but I honestly think he can be redeemed.   Also, his compassion. The dude’s face when he heard Shigaraki’s past. His eyes were full of shock, concern, and just, he looked worried.  And in the short battle against the Mutant Exclusionist people, I forget what they were exactly called, he reveals he’s been bullied due to his appearance and the fact that he’s a mutant.  And honestly, I can relate, albeit only a tiny bit. Being bullied over something you can’t control, it sucks. It makes you despise yourself, start to wonder if something is wrong with you, and no one should have to go through that. Sorry for the super long post, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out. If anyone even bothered to read this, thank you. Because that means a lot to me. To know that some of you out here like or enjoy my little discussions and thoughts, it makes me happy.  So, thank you.   

[doubledoe-blabs-about-sakka]

Top 11 Inazuma Characters

Tagged (sorta) by @jounetsulovers ! I am not nearly as eloquent as her but I'mma try my best.  These aren't in any particular order, because it was hard enough as it is.

Kidou Yuuto

I love this little weirdo so fucking much.  Kidou is arguably one of the best, if not the best, characters to come out of inazuma when it comes to pure craftsmanship, in the sense that he has both a lot of complexity and a lot of subtlety.  Even his design itself is a bit genius, his trademark cape simultaneously portraying strength and childlike vulnerability, telling you a lot about his character from the word go.  Just a fascinating little lad in all aspects, and I adore him.  And worry about him.

Endou Mamoru

Before I got into Inazuma Eleven I would have probably told you I was largely #done with shonen series, and I would have cited stale generic protags as one of the many reasons why.  So I'm endlessly impressed by how much I love Endou.  He's pretty typical in many respects for a shonen hero, he's not terribly deep or complex, but I just find him so endearing.  I believe his hype. I want him to succeed.  Why, exactly? I don't know, and I don't care.

Matsukaze Tenma

And as if once wasn't impressive enough, Inazuma had to go and do it twice.  Tenma is somehow both very similar and completely different from Endou, and I love him just as much.  I especially love how he's low key kind of...weird.  He has so much personality despite being so simple.  Soccer is smiling, indeed.

Tsurugi Kyousuke

Go was my very first exposure to Inazuma, and "Did that mall goth looking lad just kamehameha that soccer ball, the fuck is this" was a pretty #iconic first impression.  And much like with it's two protagonists, with Tsurugi inazuma took a pretty standard trope and made me Care.  I knew Tsurugi was gonna have a tragic backstory and eventually heelface just from looking at him for five seconds, and was expecting to roll my eyes.  But by the time it happened I was so proud of him.

Aphrodi

I have a weakness for angels.  I have a weakness for creepy angels in particular.  So it was inevitable that Aphrodi would be My Son.  Even after his heelface he's still  a little ethereal, a little odd, a little unsettling, even,  while also being (as outer code beautifully illustrated) a genuinely kind and vulnerable boy who just as human as everyone else, and that's an interesting duality.  and he has Wings.  Wings are Dope.

Megane Kakeru

I feel like Megane is low key a very important character, thematically (hear me out).  The central message of the series has always been that soccer isn't about being the best, or winning, it's (essentially) about you becoming the best You.  This can get a bit muddled when so many characters ARE legitimately The Best, but then there's Megane.  Megane never really gets any better at soccer, but grows so much as a person and truly becomes the best little nerd he can be.  And that's beautiful.  Also he's hilarious.

Fubuki Shirou

Fubuki is another great case of taking a tried and true concept and making it unique.  I've seen a lot of Ice Dudes, I've seen a lot of duality themed characters, I've seen a lot of characters with tragic backstories, but I've never quite seen a Fubuki.  I love him in the games in particular, and PARTICULARLY in the britdub of the games, where his lines are all such a weird mix of dreamy, sarcastic and...colorful that's really memorable and endearing.  I also personally relate to his redneck but like with snow backwoods lifestyle on a deep spiritual level.

Kira Hitomiko

I think, out of all the adult characters, hitomiko has the most realized arc.  Her story and development have some, to put it bluntly, shockingly hard hitting emotional notes.  The scene in the games where she pries open the burning door to help the team is particularly moving and #iconic and I am Very Sad it wasn't in the anime because I think it was the perfect cap to show her growth.

Haizaki Ryouhei

I'm largely leaving out ares/orion characters because I want to wait until I've got all the material to form an opinion, but Haizaki is just...delightful.  from his endearingly contradictory personality, to his subtly creative character design, to his amazing penguins (who were once precious little babies), to his fun and weirdly touching relationship with Kidou, I just love this lad and I hope he continues to impress me.  I know he will.

Minaho Kazuto

I honestly love all the galaxy kids, and the writing of galaxy in general, for so many different reasons that would take far to long to list, but I'm picking Minaho as the ambassador of that love because A) look at his adorably weird little face. look at it. look. at. it. and B) Asokoni UFO is the greatest hissatsu of all time.

Sakuma Jirou

A tie between Sakuma and Genda might actually be more accurate for this spot because the things that most interest me really apply to both of them and their relationship, but Sakuma is getting the spot due to being more developed overall.  Shin Teikoku is simultaneously one of the most ridiculous and most horrifying arcs Inazuma has, and playing the game made it even moreso by explicitly saying they both ended up on the operating table.  The more I think about this storyline the more it fascinates me, and the more thankful I am that they came out of it okay. I’ll never get his scream out of my head.

I honestly love tons more characters just as much as the ones listed here, but they are the 11 I feel like I had the most to say about.

Tagging....anybody who wants to do it igss

[starwarsdc]

A Fandom Divided: a fractured fandom in the wake of The Last Jedi

This week in class, we discussed fandoms as a cultural group in general. We read and discussed the ways in which society’s views and attitudes towards fans have changed (or not) over the 20th and into the 21st century. We were asked to think about what it might mean for people create the distinction of “real fans” versus “casual fans” or “fake fans.”  We were also prompted to think more deeply about the relationship(s) a creator has with the created work and the people who experience that work. To what degree does a creator “own” their creation, and to what degree does a work belong to the fans? These are all questions I will be considering as we prepare to watch The People Versus George Lucas (There will probably be one or two blog posts on this film alone). On this blog, I am not going to offer my own thoughts as to what or who constitutes a “real fan” of Star Wars. Instead, I’ll look at the SW fandom’s various responses to TLJ. 

The negative backlash against The Last Jedi has been well documented. Many people are aware of the negative and complex response to this film, but do not understand why this backlash exists. I’ve heard fans say they like the film as a standalone movie, but not as a SW movie. I’ve heard them say they don’t like it, that they hate it, that they love it, that they didn’t understand it. Rather than link to a whole host of reviews and posts from individual tumblrs, I’m using this Vox article to summarize the different reasons for the negative response. (I’m only quoting portions of the article, not the entire thing, so if you’re interested in reading more about this topic, please follow the link to the full article) 

1. Too much progressivism: In the early going of the backlash, this was the easy culprit to point to. The broad strokes of the Last Jedi response sure looked like the broad strokes of Gamergate or the backlash to the all-female Ghostbusters remake. And there are lots and lots of tweets and user reviews and responses that focus on the idea that the film’s strongest characters are almost all women, who usually know the right thing to do, while its most evil characters are white men with complexes about being given what they think they deserve. . . . 

The Last Jedi is more or less a metaphorical depiction of the baby boomer generation (a generation that featured a lot of white dudes — good and bad — in positions of power) handing off leadership roles to younger generations, particularly millennials, who tend to be more racially diverse and to advocate having more women in positions of power. The series’ millennial good guys are a young white woman, a black man, a woman of Asian descent, and a Latino man, while its millennial bad guys are two white dudes.

But saying there’s a lot of cultural anxiety around this particular generational handoff is an understatement. And when you consider that Star Wars fandom has long been presided over by white guys, it’s natural this would lead to angry policing over what Star Wars is and isn’t. And that policing can be ugly and lead to toxic fandoms in which people who aren’t white men don’t feel comfortable.

2. The jokes are too jokey: Of the “nitpicky” complaints, this is the most nitpicky, in that plenty of fans don’t like The Last Jedi’s sense of humor. And to be sure, the film has its share of broad jokes, which seem to be written in comic idioms that are slightly more modern than the original trilogy’s more vaudevillian style. . . .  A lot of people who found Last Jedi too jokey also made subsequent tweets where they compared something in Last Jedi unfavorably to something in the prequel trilogy.

3. The movie is uninterested in fan theories: And even if you can get with the new trilogy’s ideas about how things ended up after Jedi, then The Last Jedi spends a lot of its running time telling you that a lot of the things fans have obsessed about since The Force Awakens was released just didn’t matter.The 2015 film was directed by J.J. Abrams, who never met a mystery he couldn’t tease. But Johnson immediately quashed many of those mysteries in Last Jedi. Who was Snoke? Who were Rey’s parents? Who cares, The Last Jedi ultimately concludes.Rey is impressive because of who she is, and Snoke is just a distraction from the real villain, who turns out to be Kylo Ren, who’s all the more terrifying because of his ultimate choice to embrace evil. But these storytelling choices weight the characters’ choices more heavily than their destiny, and if you spent a lot of time over the past two years trying to prove that, say, Rey is a Kenobi, well, you might find yourself disappointed at the casual disposal of something that seemed so important to the last film.

[note: I personally think the response of this kind is more serious than “uninterested in fan theories” would imply. Many fans, including myself, find fault in the film because it fails to follow the natural progression and plot arc established by its predecessor, The Force Awakens. Many of the issues, conflicts, and character arcs are simply ignored, openly contradicted, or not resolved.]

4. Individual plot lines/moments don’t make sense: How does Benicio Del Toro’s character know a very important piece of information late in the film? You can hand-wave this away, but it takes a couple of logic leaps to do so*.) This is especially true of the film’s pacing, with Rey’s Jedi training seeming to take months, while everything else in the movie takes place over a matter of hours.The most common complaint in this regard is that Finn and Rose’s journey to the casino planet of Canto Bight is a slow, pointless distraction from the more immediately involving plots involving Rey and Poe, one that gums up the middle of the movie and doesn’t amount to anything in terms of the plot. And I can certainly see this, since the Finn/Rose plot nearly lost me the first time I watched the film. . . . 

Ultimately, these sorts of plot holes and storytelling choices are of less interest to critics, who tend to focus more on a film’s craft and its themes, than fans, who like to pick apart the nitty-gritty details of a movie. And I’d argue that almost all of the so-called “plot holes” fans have brought up are ultimately explained away within the film, or justified by how they play into the movie’s overall storytelling structure. It’s rare in this film that a setup doesn’t have a payoff and vice versa. But they’re not always where you’re looking for them, and that can lead to confusion and consternation.

5. The characters’ journeys aren’t what was expected: This is probably the fan critique with the most meat to it. But it’s also, ultimately, the one that has the most personal spin on it. Do you think that Rey’s journey in the film shows the slow dawning of her realization that she has agency in and of herself and doesn’t need it to be given to her (as I do), or do you think it silos her off in the middle of a plot that takes her movie from her? Do you think that Luke Skywalker is an old man who learns a lesson about aging and wisdom, or a cranky cynic who never would have become what he is? Do you think the movie is optimistic about the future, or unable to compete with the wonders of the past? 

What’s interesting about the critiques of The Last Jedi is how often, when you talk about them, many of the above criticisms fall away, and you’re left with a distinct philosophical difference between people who love the film’s insistence that the future can be better if we make it and those who don’t like the way it forces us to grapple with the sins of the past, with the way it argues the Rebellion might have won at the end of Return of the Jedi, but it largely upheld the status quo.

Or consider the way that the film seems as if it’s largely left behind the central Force Awakens trio of Poe, Finn, and Rey — who are split up into three separate plot lines in Last Jedi — in favor of more focus on Kylo Ren’s journey through his own indecision toward something darker and more foreboding, as well as Luke’s journey from cynicism back to hope. I don’t think this is a terribly accurate read of the film, where all three characters get full, complicated character arcs and are tested in interesting ways, but if you really keyed in on, say, Finn and Rey’s interplay in Force Awakens, I get the disappointment.

This philosophical difference of opinion extends to none other than Mark Hamill, Luke Skywalker himself. While Hamill has turned into one of the film’s biggest boosters, he’s made no secret of the fact that he disagreed considerably with Johnson’s vision for the character. (For his part, Johnson took Hamill’s criticisms to heart and changed certain things about Luke’s arc — though we don’t know what.)

Van der Werff comes to the conclusion that “The Last Jedi is Act 2 of a story about letting go of the past and embracing the future. Maybe it was destined to be divisive.” He explains: 

The Last Jedi is about this tension, about the ways that generations uneasily give way to other generations and the ways we all learn to accept that our parents (or parental figures) sometimes have the right answers and sometimes don’t. It’s a big, bold, complex film, full of contradictory notes, a little like Empire was. I suspect, in time, it will age just as satisfactorily, but it’s also possible I’m wrong. Loving it means letting go, just a little bit, of some rosy past and embracing a future that might lead to disappointment.The people we were aren’t always the people we become, and that’s both a necessary lesson and a bitter disappointment, but you can’t become yourself without learning to live alongside that discomfort. And now there’s a Star Wars movie about that very dilemma, right when we all might need it most.

[tampon-on-the-sidewalk]

CLOSE ENOUGH TO FIVE LIKES SO LEARN MORE THAN YOU’D CARE TO KNOW ABOUT ME

Full name: Jeremy Amadeus Swartout Nickname(s) or Alias: Remy(common), Rem, RemStar(by bro-in-law), Sparkles, Pikaru(retired stage name), The Cospunk Prince Gender: Nonbinary Trans Man(Pronouns they/them, would so much rather be called sir than m’aam if they had to) Species: Human Age: 23 Birthday: 11/28/1993 Sexuality: Panromantic/Demisexual with a slight preference of men Nationality: American and hating it Religion: Raised Methodist and catholic simultaniously? But after age 10 stopped going to church and since then has no real religious affilation City or town of birth: Manahawkin, NJ Currently lives: Florida and hating it Languages spoken: English, Japanese(intermediate) Native language: English Relationship Status: In an open relationship of 6 years but not actively looking for anyone else PHYSICAL APPEARANCE Height: 5′2 Weight: 122 lbs Figure/build: Curvy, not quite muscular, big tummy Hair colour: chestnut Hairstyle: short in the back,not going any farther than the nape of the neck. Sides are asymmetrical, down to the armpit on the left and the collar bone on the right. slightly layered. To be changed soom. Facial Hairstyle: No facial hair other then a very unnoticeable mustache but really wishes they could have facial hair. slight unibrow.  Eye colour: Hazel Skin/fur/etc colour: very pale Tattoos: None Piercings: None Scars/distinguishing marks: Buises easily so random bruises on their legs, scar on left inner upper arm from a cat, beauty marks on tummy that almost make a right triangle to the left of the belly button, freckles on her shoulders, perpetual darke circles under eyes Preferred style of clothing: It changes based on their mood and who they’re around, but almost always wears chest binder and an open flannel when going out(though never at work for obvious reasons). Polo shirts and cargo shorts are their friend. Into Japanese punk style. On the rarest occasion will wear a skirt or lolita style dresses. A fan of wigs and hats. Has a tie collection but has not worn any since high school. Frequently worn jewelery/accessories: Two necklaces; A mood necklace in the shape of the letter J and a silver necklace with their nickname Remy in Katakana(The way it’s connected, it could also be read as レ王/reou, or King Re). The katakana necklace was a gift from their sister. Almost always wears a hat, though their favourite hat’s decor broke so they are looking for a new one. HEALTH Smoker? Never Drinker? Never Recreational Drug User? Which? NEVER Addictions: Caffeine Allergies: None that they know of, other than pesto(at least they believe they do, whenever they have something with pesto in it my throat hurts but doesn’t really swell or anything) Any ailments/illnesses/disabilities: Bad hip that acts up around the time of their menstrual cycle, very bad PMDD(pre-menstrual depressive disorder) on top of their regular depression. Dyslexic. Bad asthma after healing from a cold or if they swim too much. Any medication regularly taken: Is anti-med for their own personal reasons. PERSONALITY Personality: Their depression easily masks their personality so much that they wouldn’t even be able to describe themselves. Very contradictory and usually stays to themselves.  Likes: Cute things, animation, travel, cooking Dislikes: the human race in general but specifically any kind of peoplephobic/supremacist person, gore, raw tomatoes, fish, Ugg boots(the texture is waaaay to gross to them), themselves Fears/phobias: simultaneously death and living past 25(fear), live chickens(phobia), republicans, speaking Favourite colour: scarlet to colour with, periwinkle to look at and purple and navy to wear Hobbies: drawing on occasion, fandubbing Jpop(specifically Hello!Project), recreational math(has their own algebra book they work on from time to time for no real reason and does not go to college) Taste in music: The Rasmus, Symphonic metal/rock(mainly nordic bands), doo-wop, Jpop(specifically idol groups, even more specicfically Hello!Project), bubblegum pop/eurodance when in a certain mood. Will listen to everything except for English speaking rap, most country, and anything that screams(though minor deathgrowls in a song are okay within reason) SKILLS Talents/skills: doubting themselves, pointing out a voice actor/actress in their most diverse roles(if they’ve listened to their work long enough), over-analyzing, being cute Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles? Dude, they don’t even know how to ride a bike. They got their drivers’ permit, drove about 3 times, but don’t have the confidence or mental capacity to continue.  EATING HABITS Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore/(Vegetarian): Omnivore Favourite food(s): Japanese style curry, potatoes(mainly scalloped or Jagamiso), Japanese style strawberry shortcake, burgers Favourite drink(s): Lattes(mainly dulce de leche and gingerbread), The Switch juice(Orange), melon soda, any kind of apple/grape cider, American lemonade Disliked food(s): Fish, tomatoes(will eat marinara sauce but whole tomatoes aren’t too great), eggplant Disliked drink(s): Energy drinks other than coffee, milk, anything alcoholic HOUSE AND HOME Describe the character's house/home: In the middle of a neighborhood complex nestled in the middle of nowhere, takes about 2 miles just to get to the main road. Open floorplan, 3 bedroom 2.5 bath, a lanai with hot tub, garage, and very little closet space.  Do they share their home with anyone? Who? Their parents and 7 cats Significant/special belongings: their CD/Dvd collection, Jpop idol microfiber and muffler towels proudly desplayed, framed namesign with a Naruto theme CAREER Level of education: High school graduate class of 2012 Current job title and description: CSA(customer service associate), been with the company 7th years and has been trained in low-level management but was never promoted. Name of employer: Wawa FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES Parents names: Since this is literally about myself I’m witholding this info Are parents alive or dead? alive Is the character still in contact with their parents? Lives with them but rocky relationship, been emotionally abused/neglected most of life Siblings? Relationship with siblings? 2 half-sisters, one from dad’s previous marriage and one from mom’s previous marriage. Funny enough they are only a month apart in age, yet 8 years older than Remy. One sister was close with as a child but since moving away from their hometown lost touch, yet that sister is the most supportive of the name change. The other one was Remy’s nemesis when they were growing up but once she moved out, they became closer. This sister is trying but not quite accepting of the name change, and won’t correct her children when they use Remy’s deadname. Other Important Relatives: 5 niblings(4 from one sister, 1 from the other) ages 2-9. All grandparents deceased except for one, whom they haven’t seen since age ten. 2 aunts deceased(one passed from a drunken car crash and was also LGBT and passed away before Remy was old enough to remember. The other passed from a prescription drug addiction when Remy was around 15 hence why Remy is anti med.), one aunt(though no blood relation) a retired lawyer and still very close to Remy. Partner/Spouse: Jesse, together for almost 6 years and referred to by their niblings as ‘uncle Jesse’. open long distance relationship yet committed as well. If that makes sense. Children: A cat named Yossie Angela, age 7 Best Friend: Childhood friends Rachel, Sam C and Sam W. Middle school/Highschool friend Jerome Other Important Friends: Their entire class from Japanese 3/4 of their junior year minus about 5 people. Has lost touch with almost all of them since graduating, but still thinks about them constantly. Acquaintances: Too many to name Pets: 6 cats(not counting Yossie) Sugar Elisabeth, Spice Mckenzie, Inky, Binky, Daisy, Lovebug Isabelle. Enemies? Why are they enemies? A kid from their graduating class who was only friends with Remy when it was beneficial to her. Not really enemies, but someone they really would have rather not have had in their life BACKSTORY Describe their childhood (newborn - age 10): Born 2.5 months premature. Youngest of 3 with an 8 year age gap and their cousins were also much older, so they were often neglected/emotionally abused. Thought they were part cat until about age 9. Wanted to be a cook since kindergarten. First favourite colour was orange. Picked on alot and didn’t get along well with people. Loved scooby doo, the Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog and SatAM series. Watched Barney and Lamb Chop’s PlayAlong until the VHS tapes burnt out. showed a bunch of signs of being nonbinary including trying on only their dads clothes/mullet wig, peeing standing up, and shouting in confirmation ‘I am a birl, part boy, part girl’. Was introduced to Neopets by their aunt at age 10 and was hooked. Was very close to their aunt until she started getting heavy into prescription drugs, and their parents forbid Remy from driving with their aunt. Describe their  teenage years (11 - 19): Avid neopets player and roleplayed until around age 16. Found their favourite band on a friend’s sonic OC page. Started drawing their own sonic OCs on MS paint. All of their friends minus about 3 of them were from the internet, including their best friend Rachel and another person who emotionally abused Remy around ages 14-18. Said person is no longer in their life, yet it wasn’t a one-sided abuse(both were way too young to really know what they were doing to eachother was bad until it was too late). They were battling depression from as early as age 9 when their grandmother passed away from cancer, but really escalated in ages 11-14. They swear that the friends they made on the internet helped them get through it. Were big into anime and manga, with Jpop/Hello!Project becoming a huge part of their life in around 9th grade.Started dubbing under the stage name Pikaru and did dance covers. Many parental issues/self hate issues. Started working at 16 and dedicated their life to the company by the time they graduated, swearing it was the only thing they were genuinely good at/the only thing their parents were truly proud of. Went to their first concert senior year, Berryz Kobou at an anime convention. Went to a Metal concert a few months later. the morning before the concert ultimately severed the bond of Remy and their mother after their mother screamed ‘I hate you’ while in the middle of a heated argument. Since then they can’t say ‘I love you’ back to their mother and doesn’t believe any compliments given to them from her.  Describe their  adult years (20+): Moved in with their boyfriend for about 1.5 years after Remy’s parents had to move out of state for their dad’s job. Very toxic living situation do to things beyond their/their boyfriend’s control. Went through a depression so bad it almost ruined their relationship. Started experimenting with gender and name around age 19, but started really getting there from age 21-23. Moved back in with their parents to another state when the situation became too much. The toxic friend from the internet officially broke ties with Remy about a year after they moved back in with their parents, completely shattering them(though in the long run being the best thing for both people involved). Worked two jobs for about 8 months with little to no days off, working about 3 months straight with no day off. They landed themselves in a mental clinic for a week between their PMDD, stress from work, and the loss of their ‘friend’. Had to quit their 2nd job. At age 22 they went to Japan for 21 days, a life long goal, and felt more at home there than anywhere in America. Planned to start getting their life together, find an apartment or at the very least start schooling.. until they found out they were moving a couple months later. Moved to the literal hell that was Florida, where it is dangerous to be out and open and where rich white people like to degrade everyone within their path. All of their dreams for a future were thrown in the garbage, and now they are just trying to work their remaining years away. Wanted to go to Tokyo International University for business economics but with the current state of America and the impending doom of another world war, they’ve just about given up on that dream. Would either like to go to TIU still or end up moving back to their hometown/’settle down’ with their boyfriend. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~EDIT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Main Theme Song- In My Life by The Rasmus 

Nostalgic Theme Song- I Want My Tears Back by Nightwish

Montage Theme- Battle of Rose by Mitsumune Shinkichi

Idol Theme- Genki PikaPika by Morning Musume