#does it mean anything. am i overreacting. am i even that interesting. will he take my compliments/reassurance the wrong way.

[ajarofpickledtears]

why does having contact with guys often feel so much like doing parcour but you've never done it before and everything is on fire and you're on fire and-

[boundbyeclipse]

Okay so I saw your prompt list and I was wondering if you’d be able to write prompt 1 from angst with prompt 4 from smut for Kai?? I would literally DIE if it’s possible + your writing I literally amazing

hi, precious! oh of course I can, you request - I deliver! ps. my heart is happy, thank you so so much, it means a lot to me 🥺 ilysm ♡

tag : jealous!reader, vampire!reader, female!reader, rough!Kai, boyfriend!Kai, mentions of Bonnie

prompts are here.

♠️ 1. “Just go hang out with Person C. You’ve gotten good at that”

⛓️ 4. “If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop”

It wasn’t just a little argument. It wasn’t anything close to a small fight. You actually had rage exploding out of you. You were so fed up with seeing how Kai talks to Bonnie, how he flashes her a smile, how much time he spends with her and how he just cannot stop talking about her in general. It annoyed the hell out of you to the point you grew angry, jealous and wanted to never see him again.

You stood in front of him behind the school building, face to face, no people in sight as it was late at night. It was finally time to show him you were fed up with everything he’s been doing.

“I am so sick and tired of this bullshit, Kai. I’m right. Here. And yet you aren’t listening to me!”

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down. You’re quite literally an ignited match right now, you’re burning with all this anger” he raises his hands in the air, taking a step forward, but you take a step back.

“Yes, yes I am! Tell me, is she better than me? Is she prettier? Does she make you feel alive? What is it, Malachai?”

The name makes him scrunch his nose, but it’s just because you’re both fighting. Under any other condition, he always loves it. And you are the only person he accepts it from. If anyone else says it, he gets irritated and mad.

“What are you even talking about right now? There’s nothing going on, I have no interest in her, my eyes are all on you”

You shook your head in disbelief.

“Just go hang out with Bonnie. You’ve gotten good at that”

Using your vamp-speed you run into the building, getting inside the gym and sitting down on the bottom of the stairs, burying your face in your palms as you tried to calm down. Then you began to regret starting this fight with him. Maybe you’re just overreacting, imagining what isn’t there because you’re so in love with Kai, that the simplest things make you jealous. Like a few weeks ago when he was talking to another girl who he only needed help from to find some sort of a spell. They only spoke, exchanged smiles, that’s it. And you still found yourself grinding your teeth at the sight. Maybe you really are overreacting.

As you stare at the floor while fiddling your fingers, the door opens and closes - Kai has found you.

“Are you really going to throw another tantrum at me?” he asks, walking towards you in quick steps, stopping right in front of you. You couldn’t bear it, so you stood up, bodies so close to each other that you felt one another’s breaths on your faces.

“Kai, I just cannot stand how you act around her. I feel left out, like I’m never here, like I don’t exist sometimes. And yes, maybe it’s my stupid brain that makes me think this way, act this way, maybe it’s too much. So tell me, what the hell is going on so I know. I don’t want to hurt myself or you”

He moves even closer to you, and you didn’t think it was even possible to be this close to him. Not during a fight. A heavy sigh leaves his lips, heartbeat intense as he cannot help but feel the tension between you both. He’s so angry that you’re like this, so angry that he wants to prove to you that all he wants is you.

“You have always trusted me. So why can’t you trust me now when I say there is nothing between me and Bonnie? Why?”

“Maybe because I need you to prove it” your lower lip trembled as you inhaled the scent of his cologne, mixed with the smell of leather of his jacket. It was some sort of a distraction, you could feel lust beginning to wash over your body, and Kai was able to notice. He’s known you long enough to know your body language. He knew when you were sad, when you felt shy, nervous, bothered. Even sexually frustrated. And that was the case right now.

Especially the way you kept looking at his lips, even if that lasted for a second.

He knew you wanted to taste him. He knew you wanted him to yourself and yourself only. It was a tad bit too easy to read you. But he wanted to get it out from you, so he did not make any moves.

“You know damn well that I can see it in your eyes - you cannot keep it together. From head to toe you’re shaking with desire, I can tell that my cologne is driving you insane. Your heart is racing a thousand miles per hour,” he teased you with words, his voice husky and inviting, “so go ahead, kiss me. Be jealous. Be overprotective”

You bit your lip, blood boiling as you snapped at him, voice silvery.

“If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop”

Kai grins, leaning closer to your ear to whisper.

“So kiss me”

Your temper is short lived as you grab his face, landing your warm lips on his, not wasting any time to slip your tongue in his mouth. With your vamp-speed you end up in the hall, Kai pressing you against the lockers, his cold fingertips touching your skin under your shirt. A filthy moan escaping from you as he picks you up, his large hands firmly holding the back of your thighs.

In a second, you’re in a classroom, laid on the desk, Kai kissing and sucking your neck, earning small whimpers from you. He pushes your skirt up, all over you as he grinds himself against your heated core. His jeans tighten within seconds, becoming more and more unbearable as he continues to bite your collarbone. His hands squeeze your hips as he groans against your skin as he cannot contain himself no more.

Kai unbuttons his jeans and pushes them down, letting his length spring against his stomach, rock hard and throbbing with need.

“You want me to prove myself to you, hm?” he grabs you by the hips and pulls you closer, your thighs hugging his waist as he lines himself at your clothed entrance.

“Y-yes” you moan eagerly, waiting for his next move.

“I’ll make sure the whole town hears you, and I’ll leave you limping, everyone will be jealous of YOU, sweetheart”

The pads of his fingers ghost over your underwear, suddenly pulling it away as he enters you without a warning. You gasp and grab the sides of the desk, your insides pulsing with each thrust. He’s almost too big for you to take, but you love the way he stretches you out. You buck your hips against him, but Kai presses you down as his hands hold you down by your hip bones, fingers bruising the skin.

“Ma-Malachai” you cry out.

“Don’t you move. You brought this upon yourself. Now take it”

His thrusts become rougher and deeper, one hand reaching for your throat, squeezing the sides as he grunts from above you. The table underneath you shakes, sliding across the floor, all the papers and pencils falling down as Kai buried himself deeply in you. But he couldn’t care less about that. He was focused on you.

Your leg begins to cramp, and you grab his wrist, squeezing it and tapping it.

But Kai wasn’t going to stop. He pulled out, lifting you up and flipping you around, your ass on full display for him. He grabs one leg of yours, lifting it up so he has better access to your dripping folds. In a second he’s back inside of you, now leaning over you as he has his arm around your throat, his low and smoky moans heard in your ear. His other hand is holding your leg, hips slamming against you with no mercy.

Your eyes rolled back from the ecstasy he’s put you in, his name leaving your mouth in loud cries, echoing through the whole building. He feels so good that tears fall from your eyes, legs shaking and torso jolting as his tip hits the right spot. You can sense your high coming, your core pulsing and walls tightening around his length.

“Come on, love, hold on a little longer. You’re not cumming until I do” he warns.

His command makes you choke on your words, voice barely coming out with a little “yes”. Kai smirks at your attempt to reply, finding it hot that you’re so affected by him.

Kai pulls out again, lifting you up and sitting you down on the wooden desk, one hand wrapped around your waist as his other one holds you by the back of your neck. He gifts you a sloppy but passionate kiss, biting your lip in the process. You moan his name again, letting him know that there is no possibility you’ll last any longer. Knowing he’s almost done too, he buries his face in the crook of your neck while his hand reaches to squeeze your breast, kneading the hard nipple.

The classroom is soon filled with both of your moans as you explode, cumming around his length, black dots in your vision, Kai spilling himself inside you. Both of you catch your breaths, hugging for some time before fixing yourselves.

“Have I proven myself?” he asks, throwing on his jacket.

“If you’ll take me home and make me a bath with bubbles, mission will be accomplished”

Kai shakes his head, chuckling at you as he unexpectedly picks you up, throws you over his shoulder and carries you out of the school.

“This woman, tsk tsk tsk” he clicks his tongue and smacks your butt as he holds you tight, not letting you down until you’re finally back at his house.

[rivaldreamer]

House of Malignant-CH3

Crossover between House of Wax & Malignant

What happens when one pair of conjoined twins meet another?~

CHAPTERS:

CH1 , CH2

————————————

Madison and Sydney decided that some sightseeing would be good to pass the time, although Sydney did seem rather down that Lester wouldn’t be the one showing them around.

Bo suggested they check out Ambrose’s star attraction; the wax museum which the girls definitely seemed interested in. Although, Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the man.

There was something off about him… about this whole place…

He really wanted to voice his suspicions to the girls but he knew they would just say he’s overreacting. Again.

And yes, there was the added fact he was perfectly capable of protecting them from any threats.

But damn it! It was better to avoid danger than to walk right into it!

He stewed on his thoughts, Madison definitely taking notice, she and Sydney making their way over to the museum.

“Gabe… please stop,” she sighed.

“I didn’t say anything!”

Gabriel yelled, voice coming from Madison’s phone secured to her belt.

“Wha-? What’s wrong?” Sydney perked up.

“Oh nothing,” Madison shrugged her backpack up higher, “just our brother overreacting.”

“I am not ‘overreacting’! I’m being sensible. You two idiots are too trusting!”

“Gabe sweetie, calm down…” Sydney put a hand on Maddie’s head. She would have parted the hair in order to better see Gabriel but they were still out in the open.

“Listen,” Maddie tried to reason, “I know this whole situation can come off as sketchy, but stopping in this town wasn’t exactly a choice, remember?”

“Yeah,” Sydney agreed, tone gentle like a mother trying to settle an angry toddler, “and even if we wanted to leave right now, where’d we go? Our car’s busted and we’re…ya know…”

She lowered her voice.

“…on the run and all.”

Gabriel grumbled. He hated how right they were…

Sydney stood on her toes, throwing her arms around her siblings as she gave them a hug, making sure to rest the side of her head against Gabriel’s.

Gabriel huffed at the affection but didn’t protest.

“We just gotta believe that everything will turn out okay, Gabe,” Sydney assured him, letting go.

“Fine…” he relented, begrudgingly, “just keep my damn stuff close by…”

Madison patted her backpack. “In here, within reach,” she smirked, “better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. Right?”

Gabriel would have smiled if he could, but no doubt Madison felt his amusement as her smile got wider.

The three of them continued walking, Sydney chattering away.

“Don’t worry Gabe, think of this as a chance to unwind for a change. I mean- with all our moving around, we barely have time to enjoy ourselves!”

“Since when exactly was life on the run supposed to be fun?” Gabriel deadpanned.

“It can be!” Sydney argued, tapping her chin, “what exactly would a bunch of criminals do for fun anyway?”

“Murder.”

Madison burst out laughing.

“…yeah, I walked right into that one.”

Walking up the stairs, they stood before the wax museum. It was certainly the most eye catching building in the whole small town. With its distinctive architecture and bold signage, it was practically the first thing they noticed when they arrived.

“Do you we just go in?” Maddie wondered aloud.

“This place…has an…odd scent to it…”

Sydney rested her hand against the wall. “Yeah, it does smell a bit funky- huh?” She turned to her hand, examining the wall under her fingertips.

“What’s wrong, Syd?” Madison asked, coming to stand beside her.

Sydney pulled her hand back, sniffing it before her brows shot up. “No way…” she put her hand back on the wall, “I think-… I think it’s made of wax!”

That surprised Gabriel, him examining the wall closer.

“What? The walls?” Madison also put her hand on the wall.

“Maddie, can you-?”

“Sure Gabe.”

Maddie allowed him control. Gabriel pressed their hand to the wall, scrapping their fingers and feeling the wax build up under their nails.

Gabriel was… honestly, intrigued.

Seeing as the coast was clear, he turned around, peeking through the locks of hair, seeing the building with his own two eyes.

“This is so not what I was expecting,” Sydney said.

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, like- a couple of wax statues? But this is like-…well- this definitely is somethin’ else.”

“I wonder if the whole building’s made out of wax?” Maddie mused.

“If that’s the case, then this place should be an even bigger attraction.”

“How about we stop yapping and actually go inside?” Gabriel butted in impatiently.

“Okay, okay, fine-” Sydney froze, “wait a minute, since when did you care?”

Gabriel stayed silent.

It was then that both his sisters got an evil look in their eyes.

“Oh Gabe~” Maddie teased, “are you actually getting excited?”

“…shut up.”

Both sisters laughed, Sydney giving Gabriel a playful pinch on the cheek, to which he swatted her away before Maddie regained control, their little group entering into the museum.

The museum did look rather old, with a fine layer of dust covering the furniture and faded paint along the walls.

“Hello?” Maddie called out.

No response.

The sisters exchanged a look before they parted, taking in the many wax statues on display.

Light filtered in through the full length windows, casting the room in a shade of yellow. There were various furnishings and sculptures of people fixed in various poses. With no one around, Gabriel was allowed out, approaching two sculptures of a man and woman mid dance. He turned around, tilting his head as he examined them.

“They…look so real…”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it,” Maddie said.

Gabriel fingers raised, carefully caressing the face of the sculpted lady.

A shadow moved out the corner of his eye.

Gabriel spun around, searching wildly.

“Gabe? What’s wrong?”

“I-” Gabe blinked shaking his head, cascade of hair still covering his face, “nothing.”

Okay, maybe the girls were right. He was on edge and now being paranoid and imagining things. He really should take the opportunity and enjoy whatever fun comes his way. And honestly, this little detour was turning out to be more interesting than he’d anticipated.

“Gabe, look over there,” Maddie pointed out.

A dual, soft control was shared between them, Maddie leading them to a wall where framed newspapers were hung.

“‘Trudy Opens House of Wax,’ ‘Trudy’s Wax Carvings Are A Hit At The State Fair,’…” Maddie read the headlines out loud, squinting at the last one, “… ‘Trudy and Husband Expecting First Child’…”

“Well, I guess we know who runs the place,” Gabriel mused, maneuvering them backwards towards a table, the trinkets and knickknacks upon it catching his attention, with smaller carvings of inhuman creatures.

Gabriel picked up a mermaid sculpture, marveling at its slender body and its elongated tail, running their fingers over the carving.

Madison chuckled at his actions.

“You really like these things, huh?”

“It’s…” He hesitated, awkward and uncertain of how to express his feelings,“it’s just-… how can someone create something so…so…”

He struggled. Gabriel wasn’t really one for flowery words of compliments but then again he barely had a reason to use such words. He was always nihilistic. Nihilistic and inexperienced, in the world and in himself. He barely knew his own likes and dislikes. He barely knew himself.

But, there was no denying the fascination he felt at the art around him.

“How can… someone create something from nothing?”

As soon as he said it, Gabriel knew how stupid the question sounded. It was nowhere near what he was feeling.

But Madison didn’t judge, smiling. “Simple. You don’t,” She inclined her head slightly, “I’m no artist but I do know, art take’s a certain kind of passion, emotion. It can be anything really from joy, anger, sadness. It’s what you decide to make with it.”

Gabriel mused over her words, turning the sculpture over in their hands, noticing a name carved on its underside.

“Vincent…”

He whispered.

‘Who were you Vincent…?

What did you feel when you made these…?’

Suddenly, a scream was heard.

Sydney’s scream.

“FUCK!”/“FUCK!”

The May Twins simultaneously cussed, dashing to the sound.

They skidded to a halt into a model kitchen. There was Sydney, terrified and being held, knife to her throat, by a man.

The man was a good build, easily overpowering Sydney as she struggled in vain. He had long dark hair which flowed aggressively with his movements but the most distinct feature about him was the blank faced mask he wore.

The second the twins entered, the man snapped his head towards them, grunting.

He threw his knife at them. Time seemed to slow down as the blade sailed towards their head.

“MADDIE!”

Madison backflipped, the blade soaring by harmlessly, bones cracking and muscles twisting midair as she relinquished full control to Gabriel.

Gabriel landed on their feet, twisting around only to quickly dodge another knife aimed at them, scrambled and janky movements as he quickly ran and threw them over the display couch in the main area, taking cover.

“Shit! Where’s my stuff?!”

“Fuck! I left my bag at the door!”

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!”

“MADDIE!” Sydney screamed, desperately, her cries becoming fainter as she was being taken away to who knows where.

“FUCK IT! Just make a run for it!” Maddie screamed.

Gabriel readied himself before dashing out from behind the couch, jumping over furniture and heading to the entrance.

Sydney screamed and kicked as the man dragged her down a flight of stairs, descending into an ominous dark basement.

“LET ME GO YOU SON OF A-!”

A ‘SHING!’ sound was heard before the man grunted in pain, stumbling back and releasing his hold on her.

Sydney blinked, noticing a familiar gold blade embedded in the man’s shoulder.

A dark figure filled the entrance of the stairway, black coat flowing and dark hair framing a bloodied face.

A bloodied, absolutely pissed off face.

“GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

The masked man froze at the sight of Gabriel.

Sydney, smiling in relief, raced up the stairs and got behind him.

Casting a glance to make sure Sydney wasn’t hurt, Gabriel focused his full unfiltered rage on the masked attacker. He clenched their gloved fists, growling. From his vantage point at the top of the stairs, Gabriel looked down on the man like an insignificant insect.

The man seemed to steel his resolve, standing back to his full height, yanking Gabriel’s blade out and seeming to examine it, curiously in fact before tossing it to the ground.

Gabriel jumped, leaping across the rest of the steps, landing before the man in a crouched position.

The man jumped, staggering back and going on the defensive. From his hip holsters, he produced two daggers of his own, holding them at the ready as he watched Gabriel closely.

Gabriel tilted his head, noting how intricately designed the man’s weapons were. He lazily picked up his own dagger and stood, watching the man’s tense movements.

Gabriel chuckled, twirling the dagger around in their hand.

“What? Surprised by my pretty face?”

The man perked up at that before Gabriel lunged at him, blade aimed at his face.

The man immediately reacted, crossing his blades in an X and blocking Gabriel’s attack, kicking him back with a grunt.

Gabriel stumbled back, surprised.

“Huh…”

He threw another attack and another, the man deftly deflecting or dodging them and even came close to landing a hit on Gabriel a few times.

After another failed attack, the pair in a stalemate, Gabriel trying to shove his blade into the man’s throat while the man successfully held him back with his own two weapons.

Their faces were close, Gabriel deliberately getting into the man’s personal space to make him uncomfortable, blood from his face dripping and staining the white mask a stark red.

“Not bad…” Gabriel grunted, fighting to push the blade into the bastards windpipe, “you’re more capable than I gave you credit for asshole.”

This close, Gabriel could make out one eye through the mask, wide and staring at him.

“What are you staring at shitface?”

Gabriel growled, deciding to just say fuck it and headbutt the motherfucker.

A crack was heard, the man stumbling back and desperately trying to hold together his now shattered mask.

Gabriel took this opportunity to grab the man by the back of his sweater, another hand roughly grabbing fistfuls of hair, before he slammed the man’s head against the concrete wall.

The mask shattered completely, falling to the floor.

Gabriel growled, throwing the man down and jumping on him, blade raised and ready to put an end to this.

But he froze.

Looking back up at him, was a face scarred and deformed.

Like a breeze blowing out a candle, Gabriel’s rage vanished.

The left side of the man’s face was completely deformed, one eye clouded over, most likely blind, while the right side was completely unmarred.

The man stared up at Gabriel intensely, chest raising up and down as he panted, a scowl tightening his features.

Gabriel tilted his head, hand reaching out.

The man flinched, making Gabriel pause before moving slower.

His fingers delicately brushed over the scars.

At the soft touch, the man’s features softened, scowl vanishing as he too began to take in Gabriel’s features, not with fear or disgust but with genuine curiosity.

They stayed like that for a moment, Gabriel pinning him down, the man gazing up at him, them both taking in the sight of each other.

“Gabe! Are you okay?!” Sydney yelled from above.

The sound of her voice jolted Gabriel back to his senses, scrambling off of the man and backing away but never once taking his gaze off him.

The man too hurried to his feet, taking cautious steps back as he stared Gabriel down, eye narrowed.

The both of them gazed at each other, tense, waiting for the other to make the next move.

After what felt like an eternity, Gabriel finally spoke.

“Who are you…?”

The man didn’t respond, grabbing his discarded weapons and fleeing down the tunnels. Although, as he ran, he cast a look over his shoulder. What expression he wore, what he felt about the encounter, Gabriel couldn’t tell, too far to read.

Gabriel stayed there, not going after him.

The question he asked still remained though and he desperately wanted to know the answer.

[amethystina]

I am intrigued by all the wips honestly. Anything you give us will be amazing, I have no doubt.

I will ask about Thou Shalt Not Covet tho because it is completed.

And I LOVE the How To Build a Family for Dummies title lmao. If you feel that it fits the story, you don't have to change it imo 😆

Also, I have to ask about your health. I hope you're doing well these days and that you're getting better. If not, don't push yourself too hard. Take care of yourself either way 💜

No pressure x'D

Jokes aside: thank you 💜 I'm very flattered that a lot of you have such faith in me and my writing.

Thou Shalt Not Covet was something I wrote in a feverish haze about a week ago because I was high-key panicking over not having been able to draw or write in what felt like forever and my brain just latched on to that story. Which wasn't at all what I had planned but, apparently, what I needed at the time, so I try not to hold it against myself.

It's basically a fic about Ga On being a raging ball of jealousy for 10k straight.

... or gay, I guess?

So the title is a bit misleading since there is actually A LOT of coveting going on. Coveting of Yo Han, to be more specific.

Ga On you little sinner you.

And it's 10k before editing, I should say. Because since I wrote it with a fever, I'll probably have to add a bit as I edit. Understandably, I tend to miss a lot of details when I'm too feverish. The fic is set just before Kim Choong Sik's first trial, so around episode 10. Which means I'm going to have to add a couple of warnings because Yo Han does not play fair. Whenever I write Yo Han as he was during the drama I'm reminded of how far he's come in Who Holds the Devil because dear LORD is he a manipulative asshole in this one x'D

So yeah. Jealous!Ga On and a Yo Han who doesn't pull his punches. A recipe for disaster, in other words. But they work it out eventually.

Here's a snippet from the beginning of the story (though unedited so there might be changes before it's posted)

---

Ga On had never understood how utterly devastating jealousy could be until he felt it — truly felt it — for the first time.

If asked, he would have said he wasn't a jealous person. He may have felt a burst of it once or twice as he and Soo Hyun had grown up — whenever another boy had shown an interest in her — but it had faded just as quickly as it had flared up. Perhaps because, deep down, Ga On had known that Soo Hyun only had eyes for him.

There was no need for him to feel jealous since the odds of him losing Soo Hyun to another were slim.

And, in hindsight, that must have lulled Ga On into a false sense of security, giving him the impression that he wasn't the jealous type. That he was calm and rational enough not to get upset, and knew how to handle the surge of emotions that might occur. Not realizing that what he'd felt at the time wasn't jealousy — or at least not the true depth of what he was actually capable of feeling.

Ga On had underestimated his own possessiveness.

And it wasn't until he met Kang Yo Han that Ga On knew true jealousy.

His first clue that he'd misjudged himself should have been his inexplicable desire to remain within Yo Han's orbit despite having numerous reasons to stay away. All Ga On wanted was to keep pushing closer, to keep proving himself, to keep asking for that intoxicating attention that crackled like electricity down his spine. He may not want to name what he was experiencing — instinctively shying away from a revelation he knew would change his life beyond what he was ready to deal with, finding comfort in denial — but he still craved the rush it gave him. He couldn't help wanting more.

His second clue should have been his own reaction as he'd watched Jung Sun Ah fuss with Yo Han's tie during their photo shoot.

The anger Ga On had felt in that moment — curling black and vicious inside his chest — had been an overreaction of the kind that should have given him pause. But, somehow, it hadn't. Somehow, Ga On hadn't even registered it as something out of the ordinary. Some part of him had even felt justified in his anger.

As if he had a right to feel that possessive over his chief.

But the rational part of Ga On knew that he didn't. He may be sleeping in Yo Han's house and helping him with his mission to upend the world as they knew it, but they were still nothing more than coworkers.

Yo Han had never promised him anything.

---

Expect jealousy, anger, and a bit of angst. Because Ga On has abandonment issues and it actually hits pretty hard when he starts suspecting that he's not so special to Yo Han after all...

As for How to Build a Family For Dummies, the title doesn't fit the vibe AT ALL which is why I'm calling it a working title for now. It just sounds way too cute and cheerful for the actual theme and content of the story x'D But more about that in another reply since I got a specific ask about it!

Aaaaand when it comes to my health, things are really bad, unfortunately. The kind of bad I haven't had since January, with daily exhaustion fevers and lack of focus. And it's probably not going to get better anytime soon since the main cause is related to something outside of my control that will most likely take months to fix. So it's really just a matter of me trying to hold on as long as I can and, if I'm lucky, I won't break completely before I reach the other side. I guess we'll see?

Anyhow! Thank you so much for the concern and the lovely ask. You take care of yourself too 💜

WIP Tag Game

[katyspersonal]

In today's SoTE adventures: I fucking HATE Shadow's Keep!!! Vfhhhhhf okay I wasn't able to play all that much because switching from shifts work to 5/2 weeks is absolutely destroying me, but still some progress was made!

1) So I returned in that, like.... area full of water through which I've found Queelign earlier to explore more, and found the lever that had all water flood away! I saw a Grace beneath but decided to ignore it as I haven't explored all turns yet and saw a round elevator in the next turn. So I just reloaded the area....... ...only to get a bunch of runes and Iris of Occultation dropped as soon as I reappeared? I assumed something died, then? Okay sure I am not here to judge :/

1.2) @val-of-the-north informed me that it was a Tree Spirit but it wasn't supposed to just randomly kill itself! Just my luck I guess? XD

2) I found this item,

And a bit later this item, suggesting a similar thing:

Interesting ritual, I suppose! And of course Rellana would get a unique one. Darn Carians x) I guess it is expected that she also had to show loyalty to the Erdtree when Renalla and Radagon got married and united their factions!

3) Basically I went to some area in Specimen Storehouse, yeah. It was a little frustrating, mostly because of how many turns it had, but like I said I am finally overcoming my problems with tangled locations in videogames!

4) SIIIIIIIMPS

5) Why he is so big though gdgyhvng

No, seriously, other giant specimen are some kind of beasts but this is just a very humanoid horned guy but HUGE gfhtgfh WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHY HE IS SO BIG

6) So I was running around some more, and surprisingly was starting to hear what appeared to be Freyja's monologue... And then met the girl herself!! I was surprised and sent Val a picture of her asking why was she here, which surprised him a lot on how I even managed to reach her. He recommended to go and find Ansbach down there... I did, eventually, on accident, and it was the beginning of a ROYAL PAIN, but we'll get to it in a second.... -_-"

7) I recall having turned some lever, picking an item from that giant dude's beard, hopping around and finding an exit when a very strong knight kicked my ass gfhtygg I struggled to return there but got back at him later! He dropped his ash of war and helmet:

8) So, as soon as I read that he was a captain of the Fire Knights, I've got a bad feeling about what was going to wait me behind the next doors, but figured that I SHOULD be wrong and it could not be that easy? So I just hopped onwards with almost enough runes for a level up without taking aNY PRECAUTIONS BUT FUCKING NO THEN FUCKING CUTSCENE STARTED PLAYING AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT FGGGFJJ

GUESS FUCKING WHAT OH MY G O D I'VE MET HIM!!!! THIS WHOLE GAME I WAS DOING LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT TRYING TO FIND HIM, I'VE BEEN DELIBERATELY PROCRASTINATING AND AVOIDING THIS GUY SPECIFICALLY AND YET I RAN INTO HIM I WAS SO MAD HFHYHH

Also YEAH YEAH I GET IT HE SAID THE LINE FROM THE TRAILER YEAH SAY THE LINE BART WHATEVER I DON'T CARE ANYMORE DUDE + L + FASCIST ASS DIALOGUE LINE + YOU HIRED QUEELIGN

9) Okay okay sorry if I am overreacting, it is hard to explain the context instantly gghhh I died of course, but I've lasted surprisingly long considering I was completely unprepared! I just was able to dodge his attacks and stab him with a spear effectively! I guess I start to muscle-learn finally..

10) At that point I've lost a concrete objective despite Val mentioning something about a scroll I wanted to find, and I already started to be sure something was wrong when he mentioned mysterious "grace on the fourth floor near the cross" that I never saw.... I was just running around and killing some more Fire Knights on the way!

Everything is starting to come together....... *looks at the duelists one more time*

11) At some point during my running I accidentally found an entrance outside with the giant bat enemies, but accidentally fell down the pit. All I remembered was a strange Fire Knight that was using an Erdtree incantation when others weren't...

And then I've spent the next HALF AN HOUR trying to find that place again ъ_ъ IT WAS A TORTURE, I kept running in circles over and over because I just did NOT remember what did I do!!!! It was so frustrating that I almost teared up gfhgbth Elden Ring DLC gave me EVERY type of emotion yet and I am not even halfway done!

Meanwhile Val kept telling me to forget about that place when I kept asking him to help me to find it again, and sent me a video on how to find the cross and the scroll that I didn't check because I was obsessed with finding that exact spot again! We were desperately trying to communicate each other while both confused about that location and it just felt like an image of two wojacks crying at one another 🤦‍♂️

12) While running over and over looking for the darn place, I ended up killing so many Fire Knights that they dropped their set and weapon! Damn, how many times I ran the same place over and over thinking maybe this time will be different? *insert definition of insanity meme*

^ So basically, Queelign is wearing the capeless version, right? I should check that variant later!

13) Earlier there were Spirit Ashes of Black Knight Andreas and his son, who both turned on Messmer after learning of his serpentine nature 🤔 And the son also was his brother-in-arms whose execution he grieved. Now there is Kood, the captain of Fire Knights who were more intimately familiar with Messmer than Black Knights it seems (Queelign is one of the distinct Fire Knights). And of course Rellana who abandoned her right as royalty to stand by Messmer! And of course that spoiler about Melina being his little sister (twin?) in particular. We are accumulating more distinct names connected with him!

14) So.... eventually I've found that entrance I've mentioned earlier by accident, and this time I was more careful. Turned out that..... it WAS the path to that grace near the cross. 🤡🤡🤡

Val ABSOLUTELY lost his shit and told me that I somehow made the WHOLE Storehouse backwards!!! That not only I was supposed to reach this grace from BELOW and without turning the lever, but also I was only meant to find a HINT on Church District existing IN this place!! This reminded me of that time in the base game where not only I could not find Vare until Val told me where he was (🤡🤡🤡), but I also accidentally skipped the whole Limgrave and instead got stuck in Weeping Peninsula, wondering where to go, and did all the quests backwards. Good to know nothing fucking changed about my playstyle gfhbg

15) I got the scroll at last. While looking for Ansbach I was thinking about how I'd really hate to end up disliking Messmer as a character because that'd be a hypocrisy considering I like Marika *looks at that Leda vs D meme*, so hopefully I could learn something about him later that could make him better for me

16) So, Ansbach gave an interesting dialogue...

Basically, Miquella trashed Mohg so much that not only he bewitched him, but also wanted to use his corpse as a vessel to recover Radahn. :/ Just... zero respect. Why with Godwyn it is 'hurr hurr this isn't fair that my bro bears such a humiliation instead of dying a true death :((((((' but with Mohg it is 'humiliation is acceptable, actually'? Just because he did a bloody cult whereas Godwyn was just a cool friend with dragons and hugged you as a kid? Didn't Mohg end up worshipping Formless Mother so because of the abusive order YOU dude want to fix, whereas Godwyn was the favourite spoiled golden child? Where is 'kindness' in this mIqUeLlA tHe KiNd NOW?

17) At the same time, I am so entertained? Elden Ring gives me more variety of emotions than other Soulsborne games! I've never felt mad at the characters or repulsed by them before ER! Yet again: Martin's involvement was a great thing, it feels with how more fleshed out characters became!!!

[beautifulhigh]

I'm so excited for tk's reaction for hurt carlos more than anything else tbh. I honestly feel like TK's character wasn't given the chance to show the depth of his feelings for carlos except for the proposal and I really hope with this carlos got hurt we will be able to see that. Can't wait for season 4

I want to take this ask in the spirit I would like it to have been intended and share in your excitement. I think it's about time that TK was the one stressing over possibly losing the man he loves.

But I am Fandom Old and a former English teacher and the statement made about TK not showing the depth of his feelings for Carlos gives me a chance to break out my meta skills, whether you wanted me to or not.

Season One TK has what some deem an overreaction to the dinner but that's because he's scared. He's had a "nuclear bad" breakup, he isn't ready for anything serious, and there's this guy who is basically offering him everything that the TK from the beginning of 1x01 wanted. A guy who wants to spend time with him, make him dinner, is genuinely interested in him. If TK wasn't emotionally invested why would he be so mad? It would have been an "oops" kind of moment. Anger is a strong emotion and a lot of TK's strong emotions are expressed in anger in season one.

He tells Carlos about his addiction before he tells the 126. The guy he's hooking up with, who he walked out on because Carlos dared to do something nice for him. Lays out everything: the break up, the relapse, all of it. The men and woman that he works alongside every day, the people he trusts his life to? They know nothing until 1x10. But Carlos knew. TK didn't have to tell Carlos but he did. Why would he do that if Carlos wasn't important to TK, if he wasn't someone that TK could trust?

But slowly our feral cat is tamed, and he lets Carlos in. They have the date when they take Paul out and they have the conversation in the juice bar where TK is honest with Carlos about how he feels. He refers to Carlos as his boyfriend - kinda - before he's even discussed that label with Carlos. He takes those steps because he's very much caught the feels and he's letting himself feel them.

Season Two So now we are in full on relationship territory, and he is spending a lot of time at Carlos' place. When Tim is killed and Owen says to "go home", he goes to Carlos. When he is stressing over upsetting Nancy he talks to Carlos. When he's worried about the honeymoon period for his parents, he talks to Carlos. He gets so upset when Carlos doesn't introduces him to his parents as his boyfriend but he realises what this means to Carlos and agrees to wait. They are talking, they are finding middle ground, we see TK turn to Carlos over and over for care and support and a needed kick up the backside when it comes to the divide between Fire and Medical. Love is being there for someone, and it's also telling them to get over themselves.

And then, he does something his dad mentioned right in the pilot, he moves in with his boyfriend. This is the logical next step, not an engagement ring. TK is with this man, they love each other, they're moving in together.

They fight, TK comes home, they make up, make out, and in the fire that threatens them he is calm and focused and helps save both their lives. He reads Carlos like a book and knows he's not OK, reassuring his boyfriend that they're OK. Throughout the whole season Carlos is included in the 126 hangs and we see a few beats where TK is bridging the gap between his work family and his boyfriend - most notably in 2x14 when they're relaying the story of what happened with Mateo's new captain and TK drops in the little beats and explanations he'd need as someone who wasn't there. (I love this moment so much: as viewers we don't recognise the gaps in the retelling as we saw the scene play out, but Carlos wasn't there and TK makes sure that he gets the full picture.)

Seasion Three And then TK blows it all up. Because Carlos buys them a fucking home and TK has got everything he's always wanted and the future he's scared of messing up and he bolts. Because this is the kind of forever love that he never thought he would have, never get to keep. He's completely, terrifyingly, absolutely in love and it scares him because that kind of love is scary.

But when he comes home, he is home. He gets up and stays with Carlos while he's reviewing all the video files (even if he falls asleep). He celebrates his boyfriend solving a kidnapping and reassures him that he's not to blame for a man's death (while making him one of the many meals he apparently eats in a day).

He talks about his meetings, his sponsor, his progress with his sobriety and his feelings about it. He opens up about why he needs people in his life like Cooper and his meetings, while making it clear that Carlos has all of him, that there is nothing he is holding back. TK is all in, every last broken bit of him. But he makes it clear that Carlos can't help those parts of him. He will come home to Carlos.

He still talks to Carlos after the call in which the kid loses his mom and shares his raw and breaking grief with his boyfriend, knowing that he will be taken care of that evening. That he is safe with him.

He recognises that Carlos hates the lizard but loves him enough to deal with it, so he puts Carlos first and Lou is released into the wild.

Then he proposes.

If you think that the proposal is the only moment where TK shows Carlos how much he loves him then you've not being paying attention to all of the other ways that TK has shown Carlos, over and over and over and over, how much he loves him and how much he means to him. Every time TK let Carlos in, every time TK shared himself with Carlos? He was showing him - and us - how much he loves this man.

[yesterdayiwrote]

I am sorry for the rant but I am sick and tired of George getting hate and ***** threats for racing.. he made a really good strategy call today, which he checked with the team btw!! what was the worst that could have happened if it didn't work, not a lot?

Also did Bono say anything to Lewis about George's request? I wonder what they would have said if he had ignored it... so much for teamwork but as long as Lewis is ok then?

I cannot believe that Mercedes has let it go on for so long. Surely they see it??

He made a strategy suggestion that’s the key to the whole ridiculousness. He asked if it was a viable option or a possible thing to try to protect the 4/5 for the team because a) he had damage and b) he didn’t know what pace Leclerc had behind him. He didn’t insist on it or beg for it. The team didn’t give him a definitive yes or no so he asked for an answer. Toto told him not to worry because they could obviously see Leclerc’s pace wasn’t going to catch them so they didn’t need to take the risk with the inverting in the wet and that was it.

Strategy is part of racing. It’s become a running joke that Mercedes’ strategy isn’t the strongest since they’ve not been winning as often, so what does it matter if a driver wants to chip in with his own suggestions. Even more so what does it matter if they’re spitballing with their engineers and it doesn’t go any further than that? If every driver was doing what George was doing it might make for some more interesting racing… it’d definitely make for more interesting viewing in full races.

And the most annoying part is it’s not even team orders. Like, calling it that is a distinct misunderstanding of what ‘team orders’ are. Charles in Brazil ‘22 was asking for team orders. Mercedes in Zandvoort ‘21 was team orders. Team orders is specifically asking one driver to stop racing for the benefit of another. Asking a driver to adapt how they race is strategy. Alonso in Hungary ‘21 was not team orders it was strategy to help Esteban..

It’s getting out of hand. The personal insults and threats are just a joke now and it’s genuinely sucking the enjoyment out of F1 recently for me. No driver should be subject to those sort of comments for doing their job and if you wouldn’t like to read it about your driver then don’t send it to another. I mean I’d get it if it was part of some all out inter teammate war like in Ferrari, but it’s literally one sided. I think 95% of the George fans I know adore Lewis too?!

It’s just such a stupid overreaction to a conversation that probably wouldn’t even get aired if it was between the two Williams drivers for example.

People act like he’s targeting Lewis somehow, but George has ALWAYS controlled the strategy of his own races. At Williams he essentially had to and it’s become part of his driving style. It’s only recently that people seem to have taken it as some kind of negative. I fail to see how it’s really harming anyone. It’s literally no one else’s issue unless it gets put into practice? People have become far too preoccupied with driver’s radios with their engineers. If you want a passive driver then support a passive driver?! He literally can’t win. Not enough personality off track, too much personality on track, either way it’s wrong for some people.

[22degreehalo]

The thing is... you're not supposed to care about the kens.

That's why they're portrayed as just generic privileged pathetic white guys. They're just kind of a joke.

(And that's some parts 'men are privileged and it's not our responsibility to coddle them' and some parts 'men are expected to be independent and take care of themselves and not have feelings.' It's not a coincidence that the kens being insecure, or crying, or making obliviously homoerotic statements, are part of them being a joke. That's just how you portray people as ridiculous: you make them super emotional about things that don't really matter, and you associate them with campy, queer, over-the-top things.)

I said in previous posts that, while I am most likely overthinking it, it seemed a failure of the movie to introduce this setting and then not really engage with it. I recall a popular post on tumblr about 'bit-ism', or the willingness of a movie to commit to the bit; insofar as the setting is entwined with the message of the movie, I've rarely seen a movie fail as hard as Barbie. It introduces an inverted society, but then only seems interested in that society to the extent that real life changes it. If I'm not supposed to care about the kens, why establish them as the oppressed parties at all?

But that's all assuming that what people say about it is true: that it's a thoughtful piece about gender and misogyny. That it Has Things To Say about men and patriarchy and gender dynamics.

And maybe it is actually just not nearly as deep as I'm trying to make it.

Maybe it really is just a movie intended to go 'haha, wouldn't it be funny if men were oppressed instead of women?! Take that, men!!'

Which. Is exactly what conservative commentators say, of course. So I've tried not to lean in that direction. I highly admire Greta Gerwig as a director (Little Women is one of my favourite films of all time!), so I really wanted to read something very interesting into it.

But the more I think on it, the more I think that the 'take that, men!' interpretation is... the more generous one?

Because. Let's be clear. This is a movie in which an Asian character reacts with comedic excitement at the idea of their people being allowed one circuit court justice. And the (mostly white) people in power smile and roll their eyes because they are definitely NOT going to allow them any more than that, lol, but isn't it so cute to see how happy they are? (Cue laugh track and applause.)

If this movie really does have things to say about gender and power... they suck!! Big time!!! It only only makes sense if misogyny is the only oppression at all, or at least the only one that matters. That is some straight-up radfem/TERFy anti-intersectionality bullshit!!

Ken being uncomfortable in Barbieland even before he encountered the real world isn't anything about the patriarchy and how men are harmed by it, because that logically just doesn't make any sense. Ken is unhappy during the movie because a) the plot needs it and b) so Barbie can not return his feelings and make that whole feminist statement about it. That's it.

The movie just exists to make women laugh and pump their fists and clap.

And that's okay, I think...? The movie is a power fantasy. That's fine. Those are allowed to exist. Not every movie has to be Morally Perfect.

But. I think it's kind of rich to expect men to, like, be super hyped about it. Getting extremely angry is an overreaction... but there are two options, here: the movie is designed to make fun of men in a silly and deliberately mean-spirited way, or it genuinely and sincerely argues that any oppression men face is universally beneath concern.

As for myself? In a way, I'd rather overthink it. Because alas, I am nought but a simple baby sensitive snowflake hyper-empathetic autist. And I just do not like it when people are mean, especially when the victims are quite clearly powerless and pathetic and emotional. But I understand that I am unusual in that way, and that snark and mockery have their place in the world, and are capable of doing good.

Maybe the movie doesn't intentionally express damaging ideas about how oppression works. Maybe it is just kind of mean. I think that will probably prevent me from ever properly enjoying it. But there are worse crimes than Making A Movie I Don't Like.

[chrisbannor]

Elements of Change

Chapter Thirty One: Where You Go I Go

Author: Chris Bannor

Ezo was in a horrible mood, and it was showing. Since their journey began, everything caused him to overreact. The closer they traveled towards his former home, the more the saddle caused him to ache, and the sun was too hot, or the nights too cold, or Kammon was just too Kammon.

They were four days out of Tam's Flat, and no matter where Kammon stopped, Ezo complained. Now, they were resting on the shore of a small, slow-flowing creek beside the road with plenty of shade. It was a well-used resting place, but Ezo kicked at the logs that set around an old fire pit.

"What's wrong now?" Kammon asked. He didn't look up from where he filled his waterskin at the creek's edge.

"I didn't say anything."

"You've barely said anything at all today."

"Are you complaining?" Ezo demanded.

Kammon stood up and dusted his pants with one hand as he looked up at Ezo, who had the higher ground. "Normally, no, but something is upsetting you, and we both know it."

"I don't want to talk."

"Good. I don't want to hear it anyway," Kammon grumbled.

"You're infuriating!" Ezo yelled at him. "You want me to talk, but you don't. Which is it? It's not like we're running headfirst into your destroyed childhood looking for something that will prove your life is even more of a lie than you knew!"

He walked away from the riverbank and, more importantly, from Kammon. It wasn't like Kammon didn’t understand why he was upset. Kammon didn't deserve his lashing out, but he seemed to try his best to cause it.

"Ezo."

There was nothing soft or consoling in his tone as he called Ezo's name. When Ezo turned, he realized his lover wasn't looking his way. A dust cloud rose softly behind them from the road they were heading down. Ezo offered Kammon a hand up from the small bank. Ezo was in no mood for company, but if someone interesting came to keep his mind from his worries, it might be a welcome reprieve.

They waited in silence for the travelers to reach them, but Ember came back and screeched once over Kammon's head before she disappeared into the open sky.

"What does that mean?"

Kammon watched where she'd disappeared, but when he looked back at Ezo, he was frowning. "It was a warning. It's too late to move now, though. They'll see us no matter what we do."

"She couldn't have given us more time?" Ezo asked.

"Apparently not. I think she's avoiding me."

"Why would she do that?" And how could she? She was a part of him and his magic.

Kammon let out a snort. "She doesn't like it when I'm in a bad mood. She likes it even less when you're in a bad mood."

Ezo glared at Kammon, but didn't say anything. The dust cloud dissipated as the winds shifted around them. As soon as the riders were in sight, Kammon let out a string of curses that Ezo had only heard from the kids he'd met on the streets of Dezra. Kammon walked over to his horse and shrugged off his cloak, pushing it into a saddlebag. "Kammon?"

"Don't tell them any more than you have to, Ezo. And keep your hand hidden from them."

"Who is it?"

"The Imperium has sent someone from the university," Kammon said. "You can tell by the red cloaks."

“I don’t think hiding your cloak will keep them from recognizing you, Kammon. You’re hard to forget.”

“I can’t work out if that was a compliment or not.” There was a slight tug at the corner of Kammon’s lips as he said it.

“It wasn’t the damn jacket that made me think of you after Mason Creek.”

“No?”

“Shut up,” Ezo was smiling as well. “In all seriousness, though, why hide it?”

“The university is a big place, and there are a lot of people that come and go. Hopefully, it’s just someone passing by, and it has nothing to do with you or me.”

Ezo snorted, but Kammon continued speaking without addressing his interruption.

“If they’ve come for us, we could be in for trouble.”

“Nothing we haven’t faced before.”

“If they know who we are, they won’t have sent idiots and charlatans to take us in. And Ezo, I am sworn to follow the Imperium’s orders, Disavowed or not.” Kammon looked at him. “You aren’t, though. You can run. You don’t have to follow.”

“Thought you knew by now,” Ezo said as he grabbed Kammon and pulled him close. “Where you go, I go.” He pressed a kiss to his lover’s lips and was surprised by how Kammon deepened it immediately. There was desperation in his kiss, though, and it worried Ezo more than any words his lover had already spoken. 

“We’ll manage whatever they throw at us, right?” Ezo said.

Kammon nodded, but as they waited for the men to arrive, Ezo wondered why Jacob had been so determined to keep him from the halls of learning. What hid behind the polished halls? And how much did Kammon know that he had yet to reveal to Ezo?

Author's Note: Someone from the Imperium and the university? What could they want? And will it keep Ezo from getting back home to find the truth about Jacob?

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

FTL: Really? That's a rather curious practice. What's the purpose of duelling for marriage? Shouldn't the opinion of the one in question be asked, or if it's not leaning towards either, simply engage a compromise? Truly, traditions are so overcomplicated... Perhaps it was for the entertainment value.

FTL: I actually do believe that there was a duel in the Local Group near mine a number of cycles ago. I do not have any details beyond the vague fact of its existence - our groups do not communicate much, if at all, and I only heard about it through one of my own group members mentioning it. Though I doubt that it was relevant to marriage, most (if any) Iterator groups do not have any sort of marriage rituals.

FTL: Glad you understand (though to clarify, as that is something I should do, according to Echoes of a Paradox, whose advice I will be taking for the most part: whether you agree with my statements or not doesn't ever truly matter, my opinion of you would be very difficult to change via doing so) my perspective. The actions of those who futilely avoid falling are incomprehensible to me. What does it matter? Why be afraid of the closest thing to death we'll ever get? The only feasible reason I can think of would be due to not wishing to inflict the pain of one's absence upon those close to them, but even that is a weak reason, as they will fall too. I suppose it's simply sentimentality of some sort.

FTL: Ah, well that's good, I suppose. Once again, I do agree that having power and then not using it when necessary as deemed by your purpose or similar objectives is a rather absurd notion to me. Though I suppose it's only his loss if he is so hesitant (refer to my previous statement of my opinion that prolonging one's state of consciousness is a vain effort - in both primary meanings of the word 'vain'), even if said hesitance is unfathomable.

FTL: Interesting. We've long since strayed from the programming instilled in us by our creators, rather unfortunately, I must say. Though I suppose it was intentional for whatever reasons. And I cannot say I know much about the subject of disorders and such, but their existence does unfortunately make sense. The programming we have, as far as we have strayed from it, is incredibly flawed in my opinion. So many unnecessary things.

FTL: Though even so, I must say that even if such diagnoses were considered negative by the Ancients, what does their opinion matter? They've never done anything good.

FTL: I will also say that your reaction to being told that you have these disorders does seem like an overreaction, though I cannot say that it's irrational. What does the state of your mind in relevance to your godhood matter? Whether the diagnoses are true or false doesn't play any impact on the fact that you, I, any Iterator, are, simply put, gods. I suppose the difference in perspective potentially stems from the fact I do not pride myself upon my relative godhood all that much, nor do I think about it. It's simply a fact that I have power. Mental state or anyone's (others' or my own) perceptions of myself play no part in that.

FTL: But it may just as well be a valid reaction. Afterall, I am not you, and - for better or for worse - we do each have individual personalities, which means differing thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and perspectives. What may make no difference to me could be ground-breaking to you. Can't really say. All I can offer is my own perspective in hopes that it helps your plight in some way - if you want my opinion, that is. Perhaps it's too late for that question though, considering that I have already expressed it.

FTL. It is Upsilon.

I have a few things I wish to say, mostly apologies.

First, I wish to apologize for my previous behavior. I didn't even hang up, simply left the line metaphorically rotyim. Everything about my behavior was incredibly rude. You do not have to forgive me: that you know I regret leaving you like that is enough.

Second, I wish to say I deeply regret the way my... associate, treated you. Spreading baseless rumors to disturb you was quite cruel of him, and I certainly should have attempted to stop him sooner. Do not worry, my friend, he will be punished for his actions.

I do not want to kiss you I swear to all that is holy I do not

Best regards

-Upsolpm @oceanremnants

RP:

FTL: I do not quite think that your apology is necessary. If anything, I should be the one apologising for questioning your statements so much - even if I still think that that research was a heavily flawed concept and a completely redundant research topic. I accept your apology though, and I acknowledge your regret. Thank you.

FTL: Why apologise for someone else's actions? Truth be told, it wasn't all that bothersome, mostly just... I suppose confusing would be the right word. Not for the contents of the message but rather for the question of 'why even send something like this?'. Speculations and rumours such as that have absolutely no point to them, and are made at the expense of anyone involved. Perhaps that's the whole point.

FTL: I will be honest here: I do not care. I do not care whether it's true or not. It's wouldn't change anything either way, so it doesn't even matter. Do not concern yourself over it too much.

FTL: It's... nice to talk to you again, Upsilon.

[thequibblah]

(have had this drafted for a bit and since apparently people think i’m bashing an author because i haven’t yet published a manifesto of why this trope is snoozeworthy ig I hit publish now! plus ik some people who follow me here are unaware of the conversation in the jily discord rn so let me clarify my very firm position)

right, enough is enough. writing james as a death eater is terrible. it is not interesting to take a story that is fully and totally unrelated to any of these so-called fascinating, interesting dark themes and turn it into oppressed girl/oppressor — which is what this is. it is not compelling to write a james who thinks only lily is worth saving — which is what this is. it is not romantic to write a lily who has to convince james to switch sides, see the humanity in people like her, or even just to accept that bigotry is worth fighting — which is what this does. it’s not nuanced in any sense to write a james who is conflicted in any way about where he stands — it’s sn*ly. it’s not sexy it’s not edgy it’s not clever it’s not thought-provoking it’s not shocking it’s not moving it’s not well-written it’s not thrilling. whatever you think you’re doing it is not novel. it’s not groundbreaking. it’s WASP as fuck. and it sure as hell isn’t your handmaid’s tale when you write a character and someone belonging to a hate group that targets her as her soulmate.

and it’s not cute to act like jewish fans or fans of colour are overreacting or being sanctimonious when we suggest you’re writing something that hurts us — because it does. (your reading and prepwork is immaterial. and readers of yours who are marginalised do not speak for all of us, so save your breath if you’re thinking about tokenising them.) it’s even less cute when you are the same people who talk about how welcoming and supportive the jily fandom is — because it is until shit gets serious.

this stuff is not a clinical, dispassionate, “interesting” debate to think about or explore for some of us. when i see this or hear about this — despite, let me assure you, the most strenuous, involved blacklisting I have ever done in my life — all i can think of is myself hypothetically entangled with a man belonging to a hate group, and the number of people who would appear to consider that situation romantic. i can’t imagine the privilege it means to be able to separate this fiction from reality. i can’t imagine the gall and the blindness it takes to think your purported favourite female character going through that is anything but an ugly, scarring tragedy that only ends happily with her miles away from the other half of her ship.

if you think i sound holier than thou or sanctimonious, if you think i hate fun, if you think i act superior, if you think i’m moralising — happy to accept all these labels! i’m also correct, so i don’t care about the rest of that 😊 if you read my fic and you enjoy and support this stuff, i guess i can’t stop you. but i don’t write for you. so, if that hurts your feelings, unfollow and unsubscribe, by all means. i would say i am sorry to lose your readership but truthfully the way i approach this ship is fundamentally irreconcilable with dark/death eater jily, and i am extremely uncomfortable as is with the amount of race-related allegory i put in my fic existing in the same mainstream as that.

so — i’m sick of handwringing and feeling stupidly, embarrassingly afraid of stating this opinion out of my own misplaced desire to choose tact or courtesy when these authors and these fans are vocal and proud and frankly careless, ignorant, and unimaginative. i don’t care about maintaining fandom clout; i do not care about burning bridges. i don’t care that some of these people have read my fic and been kind to me — i am apparently only worth listening to insofar as i don’t make anyone uncomfortable. so fuck that.

this is not a goodbye post because i literally will cling to anything out of spite. excited to continue writing a james worth rooting for and a lily whose story isn’t trauma porn. xo

[uni-seahorse-572]

Internalization vs. Externalization & Keeper

this ended up longish, fair warning. I’m going to go ahead and tag everyone who expressed interest: @gay-otlc, @if-only-wishes-were-answered, @keepersofthelostbullhorn, @spellbound-fire, @simpbito

~

~

In KOTLC, Keefe and Fitz represent a fascinating dichotomy also present in society as a whole. 

As an oversimplification, most people tend to either externalize or internalize their mental health issues and emotions. Those who tend to internalize repress it all, refusing to seek help, holding it together outwardly while also deteriorating inwardly. Those who tend to externalize lash out and hurt those around them. I’d like to emphasize that I’m not here addressing which one is “better” - they’re both simply ways to cope with difficult emotions and affect people in different ways. 

It’s easy to assign Fitz the externalized method of coping. The fandom may theorize that he has unaddressed issues from the pressure of his upbringing, but in canon, his emotions are completely externalized in times of major strife. 

Keefe seems a little more difficult at first. After all, his actions are so often drastic and negatively impact those around him, right?

What I’d like to argue is that this doesn’t matter. Part of internalization is the fact that it primarily focuses the hurt on the person who’s doing the internalizing. They lack any way to let their emotions out, and thus when their facade cracks others may see a glimpse of what they’re going through. Furthermore, internalization can lead emotions to boil over as they’re being repressed instead of dealt with, at which point they do harm those around the person in question. Sounds like Keefe. 

Here’s where society comes in: we glorify internalization over externalization. This connects to the whole “go in even if you’re sick” mentality that, well, kind of really backfired. (please note: when I say society, I am here discussing American society. I can’t speak for other cultures, though if anyone has more knowledge on how a different culture regards externalization vs. internalization I’d love to hear your thoughts). 

Among the mentally ill, the false perception that one must somehow prove their mental state to deserve help causes major issues. What this means is that people will attempt to internalize their problems until they can’t anymore, with the idea that what they’re going through is only “real” if they can no longer keep it hidden and someone else notices. This repression of feelings is legitimately dangerous. 

On the other hand, people who externalize are often blamed for any outbursts they may have. This occurs especially frequently if all it takes is something small to push them over, as they’re seen as overreacting even though it’s more related to having problems no one else can see than anything else. Emotions that are externalized are often treated as if there’s nothing deeper behind them.

Heroes in general who don’t care about their well-being are hailed. Sacrifice is hailed. Characters who are angry are demonized, and while anger is a major and damaging problem to many, when was the last time you saw a character who struggles with anger who wasn’t morally grey at best? How often do you see depictions of those who get angry, occasionally to the point where it’s controlling them, as just... people who aren’t perfect?

In all honesty, Shannon Messenger herself handled this pretty well. Fitz is often made to apologize in ways Keefe isn’t, but the narrative as a whole is pretty understanding of both of them. We can also see how Fitz’s externalization does lead to disastrous fury but also means that’s both released and obvious, instead of festering into a huge mistake like it does with Keefe. Grady is a good example of this as well, as someone who gets protectively angry and may go too far once in a while but still means well and is a good father and husband. This complex representation of anger isn’t all that common. 

But it’s the way that the fandom reacts to the two of them that’s revealing. 

Fitz receives an incredible amount of hatred for his anger. By many, it’s viewed as toxic towards those he cares about. Among many, the general consensus seems to be that he’s so privileged he needs to stop getting so angry because everything isn’t perfect and be quiet (allegedly because “Keefe has it worse”, yet so many things have happened to the Vackers that if Fitz internalized his emotions I believe the hatred wouldn’t be near as much of an issue). Depending on the site you go on, there’s a good amount of blatant bashing in fics and comments, largely centered on somehow both his anger and apparent perfection at once - would they view internalization of feelings a legitimate flaw that makes him complex and less than perfect?

Keefe, on the other hand, is embraced by most of the fandom. People talk about his trauma quite a bit from what I’ve seen, his quiet inner pain that he only lets Sophie see, that he tells her she shouldn’t have to deal with. Unlike with Fitz’s occasional bouts of anger, his penchant for running away, putting himself in danger, and his lying to Sophie isn’t, on the whole, seen as toxic. His internalization has led to a lack of self esteem and perceived worth that creates a selfless sacrificial streak too often hailed. 

Now, you may say, however, that not everyone has these opinions. But the truth is this often exists in a way that inadvertently reinforces society’s treatment of externalization and internalization. 

Those who dislike Keefe tend to focus on the ways he’s hurt others with his decisions. While this makes sense, as he doesn’t have to do much for forgiveness in the narrative, it also attempts to frame his emotional reactions as externalization. Fitz, on the other hand, is often depicted as someone who struggles with internalization, particularly when it comes to pressure. Just look on AO3 for proof - in all honesty I’m guilty of it. This interpretation of his character isn’t necessarily wrong, as it can allow authors to write what they relate to and addresses the issues Fitz must have in a way the narrative ignores, yet still focuses on internalization. 

We as a society are deeply uncomfortable with externalization. We don’t know how to discuss it. And we continue to glorify internalization.

At this time, I can’t say I have a good conclusion as to how we might try to counter this, though approaching both Fitz and Keefe from a more complex viewpoint would be a good place to start. Consider looking for this in both society and other fiction as well, perhaps. It’ll be interesting to see where Keeper itself goes going forward. 

[sketching-shark]

Monkie kid fandom: o well macaques a morally grey character he’s got a traumatic past and Sun Wukongs so mean and evil for leaving him

Reality: Macaque is literally ment to the representative of Sun Wukongs EVIL side and having a “traumatic past” doesn’t justify literally trying to kill people who had nothing to do with it he also traumatised Mk because he can and because he’s connected to Sun Wukong. Sun Wukong choose to change his ways macaque just decided “you no what am going to kill this monk because he’s connected to somebody who left me.” I don’t understand how people try so hard to Villainise Sun Wukong when’s he’s literally ment to be one of the first ever superheroes. 

Haha oh geez that is how it often feels.

Like at this point there does seem to be something of an effort to make Sun Wukong look bad in order to absolve Macaque of a lot of wrong-doing...But as you mentioned, besides it being the case that the Six-Eared Macaque was originally made to function as a representative and/or living embodiment of Sun Wukong's anger and violent tendencies (hence why Sun Wukong's a lot less prone to sudden acts of violence after he kills the six-eared simian in JTTW), given all the murder attempts and manipulation and literal acts of kidnapping/brainwashing/mind control he's committed in the lego monkey show, personally I feel like the dude is pretty much as viciously jealous & as willing to throw people under the bus to achieve his aims as he is in Journey to the West.

Like I know that Monkie Kid diverges from JTTW in a number of ways (a big change being that Sun Wukong had beat up a lot of demons instead of smashing them into meat patties lol), but one of the things that does feel like it's being lost in translation, as it were, is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory and prestige for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in direct contrast to Sun Wukong he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him, given that after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own benefit, but is also a literal cannibal.

In Monkie Kid (at least according to Macaque, who is an unreliable narrator at best), he had been best of friends with Sun Wukong before Sun Wukong presumably went off to live in Heaven & abandoned all of his friends on Earth. And it is true that in Journey to the West, Sun Wukong had spent over a century of earthly years in heaven just enjoying himself before he gets into trouble by ruining the Immortal Peach Banquet and heading back down to his yaoguai kingdom. So in that regard, Macaque does have justification to hate Sun Wukong for having brought heaven's army to their mountain (of course you could say that starting a war over one banquet is a bit of an overreaction but that's a conversation for another day). What this does omit, however, is that the main reason Sun Wukong went to heaven in the first place is to see if he could get all of his monkeys to live up there, that he had spent centuries fortifying Flower Fruit Mountain from any and all threats beforehand, and that he brings back a bounty of immortality-granting wine, which all the monkeys eagerly drink. And perhaps most importantly, in the following war with heaven itself all of the assembled yaoguai were behind Sun Wukong 100%. He had already done so much for them, and they had already heard about how their great king was made to serve as a stable hand in heaven, and so got some sense of how little the heavens thought of them. This isn't to say that the Six Eared Macaque doesn't have reason to be mad at Sun Wukong or that the Monkey King doesn't share a lot of the blame for the events that led to the burning of Flower Fruit Mountain, but rather to say that all the assembled yaoguai weren't dragged into this war kicking and screaming. They seem to have regarded it as much as a power struggle with great potential rewards and which they could win as much as Sun Wukong did.

But going back to this version of the Six Eared Macaque, I find him interesting because I read him not as morally grey but rather as this frightening, somewhat tragic figure who's jealously of and resentment against Sun Wukong seems to have festered and grown to the point where it's become the sole defining feature of his life; like he's just gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to wanting revenge against the Monkey King, and in all his centuries of living he hasn't allowed anything else to shape his life. After 500 years of apparently not really doing anything, after Sun Wukong made a reappearance Macaque just seem to be targeting anyone and anything that he thinks will let him hurt Sun Wukong, no matter the cost to others or to himself. It's like he was put into the role of Sun Wukong's doppelganger/shadow/evil clone, and he's now hellbent on staying in that position, no matter how much it hurts him or holds him back from cultivating his own individuality or his own story because that's the only way he feels he gain back his past power and/or stay connected to the Monkey King. There is something really tragic about a character who feels so damaged by and/or is so obsessed with the past that they stay in this stagnant position where they never even attempt to try something different from their destructive and self-damaging behavior, but that's precisely what makes Macaque a good villain as well. Besides being a clever and calculating villain, he never developed a sense of morality like Sun Wukong, he still treats everyone around him like tools, and his self-righteousness gives him "permission" to be a relentless monster to MK, all of MK's loved ones, and Sun Wukong himself. I know it's pretty common in media these days to start a villain down the path of redemption & into the bosom of team good guy by having them be hurt by an even worse villain, but personally I would love to see a story arc where Macaque actually has a realization of how horrible his behavior has been and to feel genuine remorse for it (maybe brought about by the violence he's likely suffering at the hands of the Lady Bone Demon, in a kind of "hey being manipulated and hurt for the benefit of others actually sucks oh no I can't believe I thought it was okay when I did it"), but then also has to face the consequence of his former student and former best friend (actually likely the entire monkie crew given the whole kidnapping/brainwashing/mind-controlling thing) never wanting anything to do with him again & cutting him out of their lives completely. I think he could still change for the better under such a scenario, but the seriousness of his bad actions shouldn't be swept under the rug.

In conclusion, I think a "redemption without forgiveness" story line could work really well for Monkie Kid's version of the Six-Eared Macaque in a kind of "you can't just do horrible things and then cry about your past like that somehow makes it okay" way, and smh at the Monkie Kid fandom for all the work put into giving Sun Wukong and only Sun Wukong flak for his and Macaque's fight.

Like if you have to demonize the Monkey King, at least go after him for having been a warlord.

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 10

WC: 1633

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: anxiety, angst, brief fears of infidelity, discussions of childbearing and marriage/gender roles, psych theories, some manipulation, age difference, brief mention of domestic violence (there is none)

A/N: If you have any questions regarding the tags for this chapter and want to ask me about it before reading please do so! The chapter is not necessarily dark but I understand that some may want me to give a more detailed warning/context. I want all my readers to be as comfortable as possible 💙

🧠

It started out small. He would bring up Dr. Stratton during conversation more and more often. Three times now he had been late to office hours, causing you to have to wait outside his room, nervously checking the time. But it’s nothing, you continue to remind yourself. They’re just good friends that haven’t seen each other in years. And you trust them both.

When another Friday night passed with Laszlo skipping drinks in favor of meeting with Karen, you decided to stay in as well. It had been a month since they reacquainted with one another. In those weeks you had seen less of him outside work. Your sex life was stagnating too, much to your annoyance. He had even canceled at the absolute last minute on a dinner date. Naturally, you had begun to feel a twinge of jealousy at his lack of attention. He kept saying it was work related. Nevertheless, the sullen temperament you'd adopted went unnoticed by the doctor. You felt foolish; you weren’t so needy that you had to make a big deal about it. So you said nothing on the issue.

You sat on the old couch in your apartment. Bitsy was getting ready to go out with Lucius for date night. Picking at your fingers, you decide to ask your roommate for advice. “Hey Bits?”

“Yeah?” she called from her bedroom.

“Can I ask you a question about Lucius?” you start.

“Sure, what’s up?”

You pause as you think of how to word your thoughts. “Do you ever, like, get jealous? When he hangs out with other girls I mean.” Her head pops out of the door frame as she finishes fastening her earring, eyebrows raised in question. “It’s just that Laszlo has been spending a lot of time with Dr. Stratton now that she’s back in town. I trust them and everything, but I’m starting to feel a bit left behind I guess…” you trail off.

“Oh honey, that's normal.” She waves a hand through the air as she speaks. “There’s this girl at the lab that Lucius works with and for the first month I was convinced she was trying to steal him away from me. Turns out she just wanted Marcus, his brother!” Bitsy lets out a cackle.

“Right…” you pick at the skin around your fingernails. “I just feel silly about it. I’m sure I’m overreacting to the whole thing, though. Laszlo would never do anything, and I don’t think Dr. Stratton would either,” you remind yourself outloud. "There's just this thing John said to me about them having a past and I can't get it out of my head."

“It's not silly.” Bitsy had moved further into the bedroom, causing her voice to be slightly muffled. “But if it bothers you that much, talk to him about it. He’s a psychologist, it’s kinda his job to understand emotions and things like this. And if he loves you like you say he does then he’ll put a bit more effort into giving you his attention.”

You marinate on what she’s told you. Bitsy is right, if it bothers you that much then you need to bring it up with him. Be an adult, use communication, and all that. “Why’re you always right and level-headed about everything?”

“Someone’s gotta be, with a hot head like you,” she snarks. Her phone buzzes letting her know her date is downstairs. With a squeeze on the shoulder she bids you goodbye, telling you to let her know if you need anything.

_

The atmosphere in Dr. Stratton’s office felt off. What was usually so open and warm had felt forced and awkward. You were still ignoring the guilt of your jealousy at the doctor. She wasn’t as talkative today, unlike usual. Instead, it was strictly business. You chalked it up to her having an off day.

The two of you discussed in more depth the fetishes and kinks from the list you had compiled. Unfortunately, due to spending less time with your boyfriend the last few weeks you hadn’t had much of an opportunity to try any of the new tricks you were learning about. Therefore, you had little to really talk about in that regard. You found that you didn’t particularly mind, as you were feeling less inclined to want to share about your love life due to your envy towards the woman in question.

Dr. Stratton quietly gathered together her notes from the session and placed them into the folder. You were about to ask if she needed anything else from you when her lips parted before closing again. She leaned forward on her desk towards you. Her fingers steepled under her chin.

She licks her lips. “There is something I wish to discuss with you unrelated to the study.”

You didn’t like where this was going. Dread pooled in your gut at the concerned look on her face. “O-okay.”

“Now I want you to understand that I only bring this up out of concern for your wellbeing and emotional health. But some of the things you have told me over the course of this study have me worried.”

What on earth could you have said that would cause this sort of reaction from her? She was the most calm and collected person you had ever known. To have her speaking out made your heart race in your chest.

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before opening her mouth again. “In truth I worry about your current relationship. I fear that-”

Brows furrowing, your mind goes to the worst conclusion. You blurt out “what? No! He doesn’t hurt me or anything, I don’t know what would have given you that impression but I- ”

The doctor reaches out with her hand to settle on your forearm. “My dear take a breath, I meant no such thing.”

You take a deep inhale to compose yourself. “Then what are you talking about?”

“Speaking as your friend, and as an alienist, I fear that this boyfriend is potentially using you for your youth,” she begins the tale she concocted, unbeknownst to you. “In my experience as a psychologist, the young women such as yourself that I encounter with significantly older male companions find themselves locked into the relationship. Typically, it is from dependence on money at first. Over time, the male pressures the woman to be compliant in things like marriage and childbearing. I understand how difficult it is for a woman as driven as you to balance your aspirations with relationships and domestic matters. Do you want children?”

Her statement and question take you back. Confusion is written all over your face. Marriage? Children? Neither you nor Laszlo had ever brought up either subject. You didn’t even know if it was something he was interested in. “Wait what? I'm not sure I follow…”

“Men around his age go through an identity crisis in which they begin to become aware of their mortality. A change in priorities. The most common desire is to procreate, to start a family in which to pass on their wisdom is strongest here. Are you prepared to give him children soon? Of course there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother, it is a very noble role. Yet you do not strike me as someone ready for such a large step.”

You can barely form a coherent thought at her onslaught. The whole conversation was so out of the blue that you felt incredibly lost. Did you want children? Did he want children? Now? You wrap your arms around your torso to stave off the uncertainty and anxiety you feel creeping in. No words come to your defense at her interrogation. You are speechless, jaw dropped.

She stands and crosses the room, placing her cool hands on your cheeks. “My dear you are still a child yourself. This is something you need to consider. To… consider the possibility that you can’t give him what he needs. That he may need someone closer to his age with the same priorities, someone more willing to give in to his needs now. I don’t think you’re ready for that. I’ve seen the cost that these girls face. And the societal pressures and judgement you would face being with someone so much older? I think it could throw you into a state similar to after your friend passed. I wouldn’t want to see you in that position again. I want you to have your freedom."

Dr. Stratton looks up at the clock suddenly; “oh! My, I’m going to be late for a meeting, you’ll have to go. I don’t believe we need any more sessions for the study, but I will let you know if anything changes.”

You are too in shock trying to process everything she said to you as she ushers you out of the door with a “think about what I said, dear.” The door shuts behind you.

Karen sat with a huff. She felt a tad guilty for what she had said to you. She had no idea if Laszlo wanted marriage or children, he hadn’t when they were first together. But times change. She hoped that by using the angle of kids and identity crises that she could subtly plant a seed of doubt in your mind. Strike quickly and overwhelmingly, plant the doubt that you weren’t right for him, then push you out before you have the chance to seek answers or reassurance from her. It seemed you bought her false concern as actual worry. You were a great girl. But you were just that - a girl. You couldn’t give Laszlo what he needed, not like she could.

Now she simply had to wait and let your mind eat away at itself, leaving him for the taking.

Tag list

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[merakiui]

welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T

[tenthgrove]

hey there!👋 i saw that request are still open and since your writing is one of my biggest comforts lately, i’d like to humbly request a scenario with la squadra and a reader that gets really mad and the boys just finding that hot/impressive. (maybe reader starts cussing if you’re fine with writing that) Like for example, they captured an enemy and they’re trying to get some information out of them, but the enemy refused to talk. watching reader chan get the information out of the enemy with admiration :)

keep up the good work and stay safe <3

“Don’t Talk to Me, am Angy”

La Squadra x Reader, Romantic and Suggestive, SFWish (implications of torture and sex)

Formaggio- Though he isn’t the worst in the team, Formaggio has an ample sadistic streak of his own, so he isn’t exactly going to stop you from taking things to the extreme if you lose your temper with a target. He won’t join in unless you ask him to help you, since he doesn’t want to get in the way of your fun. In fact, he’s having an absolutely swell time just watching you. What does concern him is you getting your own pretty head worked up, so if you start to seem genuinely upset by the target’s refusal to cooperate, he’ll step in with some sweet words to calm you down. If you’re up for it, he’s more than happy to take you off to the bedroom there and then so you can release your anger... by other means. It’s not like the target’s going anywhere. Not after what you did to him.

Illuso- His reaction is going to be very similar to Formaggio in the sense that he’s going to very openly enjoy watching your little rampage. However, he’ll be much quicker to join in. His stand is basically made for playing with defenceless targets and he’ll be happy to take just the three of you into the mirror world so all the other chucklefucks can’t intervene. He absolutely revels in how hot you are when angry, but he’s not going to admit how flustered you’re making him. He’s the hot and dashing one in this relationship, okay? But after you’ve calmed down, you may notice in retrospect that his eyes were on you throughout the whole thing. Also, much like Formaggio, Illuso is not at all against using your breath-taking outburst to provoke a wonderful night in bed.

Pesci- Please stop, you’re scaring him. Pesci knows full well that interrogating enemies like this is part of the job, but he hates seeing you get so unlike yourself. Of course Pesci loves your stubbornness, it makes him feel safe at your side, but all this shouting and screaming can’t be good for you. He’ll try talking you into calming you down and hanging onto your arm so you don’t do anything that might hurt yourself. But of course this only makes you angrier, since he’s ruining the tone you idiot. But in the end, you can only do so much shouting before you tire yourself out. Head in your hands, you apologise to Pesci and agree to let him take you to another room to cool off.

Prosciutto- There’s absolutely no issue reminding a captured enemy of the power you hold over them, but acting like an unstable pinhead will do you no good. Prosciutto cares about you, and on top of that your performance reflects on him as your teammate. So, you’re either going to do this like an adult or you’re leaving this to him. And now you’re yelling at him even more. Fantastic. That’s it, you’re going to your room and he’s going to carry you kicking and screaming if that’s what it takes. Prosciutto comes back downstairs alone to finish up the interrogation and he starts to feel bad. Not only did he maybe overreact, but deep down he really enjoyed you let go of your inhibitions like that. He’ll give you a rare apology when he returns, and offer to spend the rest of the evening making time for you, whatever you want that to entail.

Melone- Y’all are lucky/unlucky this blog doesn’t write hard smut. Needless to say, Melone is incredibly attracted to feistiness and he won’t be able to focus on anything except how you look with your limbs tense, lips quivering in anger. You’re so damn determined and headstrong, and he kind of wishes that some of your harsh words were directed at him. While he’s debating how best to get you like this with him more often without jeopardising your relationship, you snap around and ask what he’s staring at. Melone’s response is... considerably more honest and detailed than it needed to be. If your target wasn’t praying for death before, they sure are now.

Ghiaccio-

Yeah.

Risotto- Though he may raise an eyebrow at your voraciousness, Risotto trusts you as an assassin and as a person, so he’s not going to question your techniques unless he has reason for concern. He’ll simply stand in the corner with his arms crossed, watching silently as you do what you need to. If you’re genuinely having trouble with the target or if you’re pressed for time and they aren’t talking, he’ll intervene with your permission to speed things up. There’s a fair chance just the sight of him stepping forth out of the shadows will make the target start cracking. Once it’s over, if you seemed uncharacteristically angry, Risotto will find a time to ask you if anything’s been bothering you lately and making you seem more stressed than usual. Provided there’s nothing seriously wrong, he will then confess how attractive he found your behaviour back there. It creates some interesting possibilities for your relationship he’d like to explore.

Sorbet- It seems you and Sorbet have something in common. In spite of his typically relaxed, quiet demeanour, Sorbet goes absolutely nuts when there’s a target in front of him and not too many others around. You, him and Gelato will probably scare the target into talking within about 10 seconds of entering the room, but failing that, you’re definitely going to enjoy yourselves. But as fast as Sorbet’s switch can be flipped, it can be flipped back the other way, and if he sees you taking things too far in terms of your own emotional state. This is meant to be a bit of fun, and it’s no good if you’re letting the target’s words get to you. Rest assured however that the captive will be thoroughly punished for inconveniencing one of Sorbet’s darlings.

Gelato- I’m tempted to make the same joke as for Ghiaccio, but Gelato would be way more self- aware. He’s going to deliberately try to make the target less inclined to talk just so the three of you have more excuse to terrorise him. The fact, while he’s just having a bit of fun, you’ve gotten so genuinely worked up over a piece of dirt like this isn’t lost on him, and he finds it absolutely adorable. When Sorbet puts the breaks on things he’s going to be upset and pout. Can’t they keep going for a few more minutes? It’s not like you’re going to give yourself a heart attack. Anyway, even if things are cut short you’ve now gotten Gelato horni and he’s not letting you rest anytime soon. If Sorbet’s going to insist on staying downstairs rather than coming up with you then that’s his problem.