#do you love me
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Part 26: Do You Love Me
Summary:Â Tommy and Lucy meet a man dangerous enough to frighten them both, and Lizzie reaches a breaking point.
Word Count: 6,543
Warnings: Smut, polyamory, chronic pain, references to violence, past torture, and past sexual assault.
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Chapter 2: Selfish
âLizzie is going to be mad about that for a good long while,â Lucy commented, one hand stuffed into her trousers pocket while the other flicked ash from her cigarette down onto the cobblestones. Her eyes swiveled around, taking in the ash, flames, and glowing embers being emitted into the air by the nearby factories. All around them was the bustle of men and women going about their business, children with dirtied faces and knees marked up with scrapes and soot racing through the streets together. She dropped a few shillings into the cup of a young girl who wandered past them.Â
The train station that they were headed to wasnât particularly far, and it was good for the people to see Tommy out amongst them, walking to work and taking the train like any other ordinary working man. So when they could, they made the trek to the train on foot.Â
She didnât mind. It was nice to get out into the familiar smoky air, settled like a black cloud over most of Birmingham. Despite everything, it still felt like it was where she most belonged. In the dirt and flames of hell.Â
Though it did mean that they had to keep a professional distance from each other. No hand holding or letting their sides brush and bump. They couldnât risk looking suspiciously close. Not even in Tommyâs own kingdom of Small Heath.
âYeah,â Tommy sighed heavily. âBut what else is fucking new?â
She cast him a regretful look. âIâm sorry.â
âWhat? Why? You didnât even do anything.â
âIt always feels like Iâm the root cause of most of her anger towards you.â
âNo; youâre not.â She felt him casting her a worried look. âItâs not your fault.â
She didnât tell him that she didnât believe that. It would only upset him. And he didnât need to be worrying about her feelings on top of everything else already on his plate. Â
âSheâs mad because you tell me things that you donât tell her.â
âWhich isnât fucking new. Thatâs always how things have been. If sheâs only realizing that nowâŚâ
âI think sheâs more upset about it being thrown in her face than anything else.â
He shook his head, teeth grinding together. âIâm going to cuff Finn the next time I see him. Jesus Christ.â
âArthurâs right about him needing educating. The kid canât keep his mouth shut to save his life.â As she spoke, she rolled her right shoulder back and forth, trying to ease the twinge that had settled in it. Tommy huffed.Â
âYeah. Iâll put him in charge of running the football betting at the shop. Give him something productive to do.â
âHave Isiah keep an eye on him. Theyâre friends, and heâll make sure he doesnât do anything too stupid.â
Tommy nodded. They caught the train just before it left the station, slipping into an empty compartment and closing the door, drawing down the blind that covered the window on the door, hiding them from any curious eyes that may have tried to peek in from the narrow hallway.
âMay called earlier. She said that she was at a party that a couple other MPs were attending recently. One of them was asking about you,â Lucy settled into her seat, the train whistling shrilly before starting to move, steadily picking up speed as it pulled out from the station.Â
âOh?â
âOswald Mosley. Heâs the MP for Smethwick. Also the Minister of the Duchy of Lancaster,â she fiddled with her rings, twisting them anxiously around her fingers. âMay hadâŚa lot of bad things to say about him.â Another throb of pain rocketed from the bottom of her shoulder blades up to the base of her neck, and she had to fight back a flinch. Fucking Luca. Dead and long gone, and yet still haunting her through the aches and pains that the torture he had put through had left.Â
Just like Matthew, her former fiancĂŠ and the man who instigated the gang rape that left her nearly dead and fleeing to Small Heath to escape marrying him. He too lingered with her stillâdespite his deceased statusâthrough the scars he and his friends had left all over her body.
Iâm part of you forever, now, his and Lucaâs voices, mingled into one, whispered inside her head where they now lived.Â
âLucy?â Tommyâs voice pulled her from her thoughts, his hand lightly touching her arm. She jumped a little, jerking back to life, eyes wide when they met his. âYou alright?â
âY-yeah. Sorry. Just thinking. What did you say?â
His eyes narrowed a fraction, and she was pretty sure that he sensed the slight waver in her voice that she attempted to cover up. But he must have decided not to comment on it if he did.Â
âWhat does Mosley want with me?â He instead repeated patiently.Â
âHe didnât exactly say. But May said that he was asking an awful lot about your moral standings on things. She thought that he mightâve been trying to feel out if you would be amiable to joining the new party heâs rumored to be building.â
âThe fascists, you mean?â
âYeah.â They had been sprouting up everywhere it seemed, lately. Germany. Italy. Even in England. It was spooky. âI could do some more research into him, if you think that it would be worth it.â
Tommy considered for a moment, blue eyes glancing out the window to observe the countryside they were whizzing by. âYes, you do that. Heâs gathering information about me, it would only be fair to return the favor.â
She nodded, a hand unconsciously going up to grasp at her still aching shoulder, trying to rub away some of the pain. But she never could seem to get the right angleâŚ
âAre your shoulders bothering you?â
She looked up to find Tommy still watching her, observant eyes zoned in on where her fingers were subtly kneading. With a sigh, she dropped her hand, rolling the aching bone and muscle back and forth with a wince. There was no use trying to lie to him.Â
âA little.âÂ
His head cocked, pushing up with his hands off the seat he was slumped in across from her to instead settle in the space next to her. âHere.â
âTommyâŚ!â she immediately started to protest, eyes going panickedly to the blinds covering the window of the door leading into their compartment.Â
âDonât worry. No one will see with the blinds closed. And weâre just passing country right now,â he nodded towards the window, which sure enough was only displaying green fields and farmland. âLet me help. If you donât do anything for them, theyâll be killing you by this evening.â
Spoken from true experience. Heâd seen her when the pain got really bad, leaving her unable to sleep or do anything other than cry and writhe, as if trying to get away from the pains wracking through nearly her entire upper back.Â
Slumping in defeat, she nodded, turning to angle herself with her back facing him. His large hands found her shoulders, so big they nearly swallowed the entire expanse of each one in his palmsâor maybe she was just that tiny. A small sigh of relief left her lips when he began rubbing gentle but firm circles into her skin, just like how the doctor had instructed him to when explaining ways to help reduce her pain. Slowly, he started to urge the tensed up muscles to relax enough to give her some relief.Â
âDid you not do your stretches yesterday?â he asked. Lucy shook her head.Â
âForgot.â
She was supposed to do them everyday, to avoid things like this happening so frequently. But in all the chaos yesterday, theyâd completely slipped her mind. And sleeping on the hard earth with nothing but Tommy to use as a pillow probably hadnât helped things. Â
âHm. Sorry; I shouldâve reminded you.â
âNot your fault.â
He pressed his fingers a little harder into her skin. âHowâs that feeling?â
âBetter.â
He hummed, pressing a kiss to her temple. âJust try to relax.â
âPot meet kettle.â
âYou want me to stop?â
â...No.â
He chuckled, the first real laugh sheâd heard from him since before yesterday, and rested his cheek against her hair while his hands continued to work. Lucy allowed herself to melt a little under his touch, for a moment not worrying about them getting caught together, or about Lizzie, or Michael, or the company. She was able to just rest. Even if only for a moment. All the while Tommy gently rubbed the pain from her body.
â â â Â
She so did love to watch Tommy speak in the house.Â
He stood there, amidst the smoke emitting from cigarettes and pipes, glasses perched on his nose, notes held in his hand, his voice ringing out, deep and rumbling. Pretty, eloquent words. He had them all in the palm of his hand and he knew it, the men seated in the benches around him, and those in the observation area with her all clinging to his every word. And when he was finished, those on his side of the room cheered and rapped their hands approvingly against the wood of their benches, the entire room thundering with the sound.Â
Lucy couldnât help but think that the room looked like a theater.Â
Who were they performing for? Themselves? Each other? The people in the observation booths? All of them at once? It was hard to say.Â
She spotted him seated to Tommyâs rightâher left. In the row below Tommyâs, the third man in from the aisle. His dark hair was slicked back, the mustache that decorated his upper lip meticulously groomed. One side of his lips pulled up at something Tommy said, his eyes gleaming. Lucy felt a shiver go down her spine. Humor may have been what was intended to cross his face, but those eyes of his were dead. No emotion to be found in them at all. They remained focused straight ahead as Tommy spoke, except for one specific, notable moment, when they flickered towards the observational benches where she, along with some secretaries, journalists, and other observers, sat to watch the men speak. Lucy swore that for a second their eyes met, before she hastily looked away from him and back to Tommy. Her skin crawled, the fine, fair hairs on the back of her arms standing up straight. Her very insides seemed to recoil, every instinct within her screaming to get up and run as far away from that man as she could possibly get.Â
She kept her eyes glued firmly at Tommy for the reminder of the time spent in the house, despite originally going there specifically to observe Mosley.
She felt that sheâd gotten all the information that she needed to about what kind of person he was from just that quick glance alone.Â
Soon as they were done, she stood, gathering up her notes, tucking them securely in the crook of her arm and making for the exit where she would meet Tommy out in the hall.Â
âHow did I do?â he asked, once he found her standing at the usual spot where she always waited for him. Lucy caught herself wishing desperately that she could have pressed a kiss to his cheek.
âSplendid as always, love.â
He looked away, lips twitching up slightly, clearing his throat bashfully. âCome on.â
Lucy smiled a little to herself at the reaction, falling into step beside him, heading in the direction of their office. Â
âDid you get what you needed?â he asked, as they walked.
âSort of.â
His brow raised. âSort of?â he quoted back to her.
âI donât like looking at him,â she explained in a lowered voice. âHe makes my skin crawl.â
âMm.â Tommy hummed in agreement.Â
âLord Suckerbyâs secretary said youâre welcome to come by anytime between now and the end of the day to see him,â she told him just as they were interrupted by a voice calling his name from one of the open doors they passed.
They stopped, turned, and were met face to face with Oswald Mosley, a barbed smile sliding into place across his features as those empty eyes bored into Tommy. Lucyâs skin roiled in response to his posh, clipped voice when he spoke, introducing himself and holding out a hand for Tommy to shake. His sly smile never once ceased, eyes never leaving Tommyâs as he took his hand and shook it firmly.Â
âLet me just say, youâve come to my attention,â the words were spoken in a croon, with the smallest of head tilts. Lucy couldnât fully decide if the intended effect was supposed to be predatory, or seductive.Â
Before Tommy could reply. Mosleyâs eyes had snapped, sharp and quick, like a snake striking, to fix on Lucy. She had to fight back the urge to hide behind her loverâs back. The expression on Mosleyâs face turned wolfish.Â
âWell, arenât you a pretty little thing?â She felt Tommy tense beside her at Mosleyâs words. âOswald Mosley,â he extended his hand towards her. Lucy felt ill at the thought of touching him, but forced herself to reach out and take his hand. It was cold as ice and dry as a bone.
âLucy Winters,â she introduced herself, shaking Mosleyâs hand once before letting it go, pushing away the urge to wipe her palm on her trousers. âIâm Mr. Shelbyâs assistant.âÂ
Mosleyâs eyes darted between them, one eyebrow quirking upwards, a smirk settling on his lips. âHm. Lucky you, Mr. Shelby.âÂ
âIf youâll excuse us, Mr. Mosley, we have to get going.â
âYes, yes, of course. But if you arenât too busy, I would love the opportunity to speak with you more. Perhaps over drinks?â
Tommy considered. âYou can call my office,â was all he ultimately said, hastily turning on his heel and starting down the hall again. Lucy hurried after him, not wanting to be left alone with Mosley.Â
âYouâre really going to meet with him?â she asked, once they were far enough away to be out of ear shot.Â
âJust to hear what he has to say.â He looked over at her. âDonât worry, Iâm not sympathetic to his cause. But keep your enemies closer, eh?â
âYeah.â She looked over her shoulder, half expecting Mosley to appear spontaneously behind them. âHe scares me a little, Tommy.â Her voice was a rough whisper, half ashamed at the omission.Â
âMe too.â
That got her attention, and when she looked at Tommy, she noticed something almost unsteady under the guarded armor he kept carefully in place across his eyes. Fear squeezed at her throat.Â
A man who was bad enough to make Tommy so frightened was something she hadnât even thought existed.
âYou head on back to the office,â he said, changing the subject with a small clearing of his throat. âI think Iâll go see Lord Suckerby now.â
âYou donât want me to come with you?â He shook his head. âI think itâll make a stronger impression if I go see him alone.â
âYou think heâll give you any trouble?â
âMaybe. Depends on how hard he was hit by the crash.â
She frowned. She hadnât really thought about that. Though she probably should have. âEveryone was hit by the crash.â
âYeah.â
âIf Suckerby canât pay usâŚâ
âHe will. Iâm not giving him any other choice.â
She pressed her lips together in a small smile. âIâd like first crack at him, if it comes to it.â
Tommy shot her an amused look. âOh, is that so?â
âAfter seeing those photos that he wanted us to get for him, there are a couple of things Iâd very much like to do to him.â
During the train ride to London she had flipped through the small package of photographs, letters, and cheques that Isiah had handed off to her while they were in Birmingham. Everything he and Aberama had collected from the man they killed in Chinatown who had been using the contents of that package to blackmail Suckerby. Her stomach had roiled at the contents of some of them, bile rising.
Lord Suckerby was one disgusting man. Maybe after he paid them, an unfortunate accident could befall him. Like falling out a window or getting run over by a bus. Â
Based on the thunderous, repulsed look that had crossed Tommyâs features when she showed him the photographs, Lucy thought he may very well be open to the idea. The envelope was now stashed safely in the inner pocket of her suit jacket, snug against her side. It would remain there until Suckerby paid what he owed them for their services.
âAlright,â Tommy said, eyes still dancing with fond, quiet mirth. âHe doesnât corporate, heâs all yours.â
She beamed, only just managing to restrain herself from throwing her arms around his neck, stretching up on toes, and planting a firm kiss to his temple that would have left his fair skin stained with red smudges from her lipstick. âThank you, Tommy,â she said instead, adding what she hoped came across as a playful, affectionate lilt to her voice. He glanced over at her, one edge of his lips nudging upwards, eyes softening.Â
They came to a hallway splitting off into two separate directions. This was where they parted ways. Her, turning left to head to their office, him, heading right, towards where Lord Suckerbyâs offices were located.Â
âIâll see you soon?â
He nodded. âThis wonât take long.â
âIâll phone his office when I get in and let them know youâre coming. So theyâll be expecting you.â
âRight.â
âAnd then you have a few more meetings this afternoon.â
âMm.â He lowered his voice. âI thought that weâd stay at the apartment for the night, rather than go back to Arrow House.â
âThat probably would be a good idea. Itâd give Lizzie some time to cool down.â
âExactly.âÂ
She nodded, moving to head in the direction leading to their office. âGood luck.â
âThanks.â
She walked backwards a few paces, fondly watching his broad back disappear around the corner before turning and making her way the rest of the short walk back to the little corner of Parliament that they presided over.Â
â â â
She had not been back in the office long when Tommy returned, heavy footed steps booming against the floor and swiping his fringe from his eyes.Â
âHow did it go?â Lucy asked, looking up from her desk.
âBy the time I left the room, he was screaming my name,â he thumbed a cigarette from his silver case. Lucy raised an eyebrow.
âIs that a euphemism?â
Tommy snorted, plucking out a second cigarette to hand to her. âHe only had twenty thousand to give to us.â
âReally?â That wasnât even half of the fifty thousand pounds theyâd agreed upon. She placed her cigarette between her lips and leaned forward towards the flame of his lighter when he held it up for her. âDoes that mean I get to play with him now?â
Tommy chuckled, raising the lighter to his own cigarette before closing it with a click. âEasy, girl. I gave him until Monday to get us the full amount.â Â
She pouted a little, leaning back into her chair. âYouâre going soft, Shelby.â Â
âNo,â Tommyâs eyes danced amusedly. He reached out, brushing his thumb down her cheek. It was a risky move, since anyone could walk through the door at any moment, but she didnât pull her face away from the tender touch. âI just want my fifty thousand pounds.â
âMm. Whatever you say, love.â
His thumb inched into dangerous territory, ghosting over her bottom lip. She aimed a playful nip at it, and he drew his hand back with a grin.Â
âCheeky mare.â
Lucy smiled at him, batting her eyelashes innocently in an âIâm-very-sure-I-donât-know-what-you-meanâ kind of way. Though remnants of his smile lingered on his face and his eyes remained softened fondly, Tommyâs expression turned serious again. Â
âHey, make that research into Mosley top priority, yeah? I wanna be ready when I next see him.â
âYes, boss.â She gave him a little two finger salute. The corner of his lips kicked up again.
âThank you.âÂ
She watched him head through the double doors into his office, leaving them open behind him, a silent invitation for her to come keep him company if she wanted. Gathering up some of her papers, she rose from her chair to follow him.Â
It was, after all, an invitation that she never passed up.Â
â â â Â
It was dark by the time they started to pack up to leave for the day. Tommy had one final appointment, but Lucy figured she would get a head start on closing the office up while he spoke with the journalist from the London Times. She eyed Michael Levitt as AdamâTommyâs other secretary at Westminsterâled him into Tommyâs office, noting the nervous way that the journalist kept fidgeting with his hat while he waited. A moment later, Adam came back out, casting an anxious look over his shoulder to where Levitt had taken a seat in front of Tommyâs desk.Â
âMr. Shelby said I was to go home,â he came over to her desk, keeping his voice lowered. She nodded.
âThen go home. Iâll take care of locking everything up.â
âRight.âÂ
She watched him gather up his things and head for the door, one ear focused on trying to overhear the mumbled voices of Tommy and Levitt. âSee you tomorrow,â she told Adam.
âGoodnight,â he nodded. Soon as he was gone, she stood smoothly, snatching up the little journal perched on the corner of her desk and going to Tommyâs office. He had left the doors open, so she was able to slip in without so much as a sound, footsteps muffled against the rugs lining the floor.Â
Levitt was visibly sweating, stuttering over his words. Lucy raised an eyebrow, going to where Tommyâs coat was hung up to his right behind his desk. She slipped the journal into the pocket, giving it a tap twice, watching out of the corner of her eye how Tommyâs gaze followed her. He gave a barely indiscernible nod in acknowledgement, and she spun on her heel and left the room, letting her eyes meet the timid Levittâs for a second before turning her head away.Â
She flitted around her and Adamâs office, putting things away and locking them up for safe keeping, even doing some tidying. The whole time, she listened closely to the words being murmured between Tommy and the journalist. At one point, not long before Levitt rushed from the room, she heard Tommy quoting directly from some of the notes she had written in the little journal during her time spent researching Levitt and his activities.Â
Soon as he was gone, she locked the door behind him and went back to Tommyâs office.Â
âI take it that could have gone better?â she moved to stand on his side of the desk, arms folded over her chest and back leaning against the hard wooden edge. Her head cocked as she watched him rub at his eyes.Â
âHe was asking about Campbell and Polly.â
âI heard. You want him to be taken care of?â
Tommy wetted his lips, considering. âYes,â he decided. âLast thing we need is a reporter sniffing around.â
âYeah. He doesnât seem like the type that we could just pay off. Iâll have some of our boys handle it at his apartment in Maida Vale. Quick and clean.âÂ
âHave them do it with enough flourish that itâll make other journalists nervous. To dissuade anyone else from trying anything for a while.â
âBut not easily linked to us, right?â
âRight. And letâs just keep it between you and me. Last thing I need is more temper tantrums over my not sharing information.â
âOkay.â
Tommy leaned back in his chair, reaching out to smooth his hand up and down her thigh. âThank you.â
âOf course.â
His arms looped around her, and she laughed quietly when he pulled her closer, his head tipping back to stare up at her, blue eyes wide and mischievous.Â
âAdam went home?â
âYes.â
âHmâŚso itâs just us, then?â
Her fingers smoothed through his dark hair, fighting back a smirk. âYes, itâs just us.â
With a purring sound from low in the back of his throat, he took hold of her hips and pulled her closer.Â
âTommy!â She laughed as he maneuvered her into his lap, as if this was not something they had done dozens of times before. As if she had not let him fuck her on top of his big desk the very first day they spent in the new office, her face burying in his shoulder with her teeth sinking into the thick fabric of his suit jacket to try to keep herself quiet while his cock pounded into her.Â
He pushed open her suit jacket, popping free the first two buttons on her shirt and dipping his head to press his lips to the newly exposed skin. Wriggling in his lap, Lucy hissed at the feeling of his cock already hardening in his trousers, the material bulging against her.Â
Tangling her hands in his hair, she tipped his head back enough to kiss him, moaning softly as his hands smoothed up her thighs, urging her to rock against him and fumbling with her belt. It was late, most people working in the building would have already gone home for the evening. But they still needed to be quiet.Â
âMm, did you lock the door?â Tommy asked in a low, rough murmur that went straight to her cunt, walls fluttering around nothing. The things he could do to her with just his voice alone were downright sinful.Â
âYes.â
He made a noise of approval that turned her legs to jelly. âGood,â he lifted her from his lap for a microsecond to slip her loosened trousers and knickers down, hand burning hot where it slid up her exposed thigh. âAlways such a good girl for me.â
âA-ahâŚâ her head lolled back, eyes rolling both at the praise and the first brush of his thick fingers across her entrance, circling lazily around her clit.Â
âGotta keep quiet, now,â he continued to mumble in her ear, breath warm where it fanned against her cheek. âCan you do that for me?â
She nodded vigorously. That was all she wanted; to be good for him. To make him happy.Â
Turning his head, Tommy pressed a kiss to her temple and gingerly slipped one finger into her while his thumb occupied itself with rolling over her clit. He kept his movements careful and slow until he got her more warmed up, waiting until slickness coated his hand generously before adding a second finger and increasing the pace of his pumps.Â
âThere you go,â he hummed when he felt her start to flutter around him. âThere you go, thatâs a good girlâŚâ
âTomâŚâ she whimpered, biting her lip to try to keep herself quiet, not wanting to disappoint him by letting any sounds slip out to be heard beyond this room.
âI know,â he soothed. âThatâs my girl. Bite down on my shoulder if you need to.â
She did just that, nosing the material of his clothing aside to taste his bare skin between her lips. Tommy groaned, low and quiet but impossibly deep, at the first sting of her teeth against him. Her walls tightened, moments away from bursting. His fingers curled within her, pressing right into the spot that made her see stars. Â
âLet go,â he ordered in a sweet whisper aimed directly into her ear, and she bit down hard to try to hinder what would have been an incredibly loud moan as her orgasm wrecked through her like a firecracker, bright lights exploding behind her eyes, entire body shuddering with it, pressing close to him instinctively. Â
Tommy guided her through it, slowly coaxing her down from her high until she slumped against him.
âGood. Very good, sweetheart.â
She made a happy little noise at the praise, snuggling closer to his neck, nuzzling at the bitemark sheâd left on him. Tommy stroked the back of her head, kissing her hair. Sneakily, she snaked a hand down between their bodies to palm the bulge in his trousers, and it was his turn to try to stifle his noises of pleasure, teeth locking down tight around the groan rising from his throat.Â
Arms wrapping around her, he lifted her seemingly effortlessly off of his lap, setting her down on the edge of his desk while he stood, hands dropping down to fumble with his trousers. Lucy felt her mouth water at the sight of his long, impossibly thick erection bobbing against his stomach after being released from its confines. Tommy gave himself a few good, languid strokes, jaw dropping open as his eyelashes fluttered, face inches from hers. Lucy spread her legs wider, encouraging him in between them. Her hands grabbed at handfuls of his suit jacket while he lined himself up, sliding in with one deep thrust.Â
âOh,â Tommy rested his cheek against hers, hands flexing where they landed on her hip and thigh.Â
âQuiet, remember?â she teased slightly, trailing her fingertips through his hair. He shivered, letting out a breathless chuckle followed by a kiss to her cheek. Burying his face in her neck, hands bracing on her body, he started to move. She could tell that he was trying to start out slow and give her time to adjust to his considerable size, but all it took was her purposefully squeezing around his cock and wrapping her legs around his waist, and his efforts went up in smoke.Â
He bucked into her like a man possessed, low grunts muffled against her throat, a few trinkets rattling on the desk from the force of his thrusts. Lucy tucked her face back in against his shoulder, biting down hard on her bottom lip to try to contain her whimpers and moans as his swollen tip rubbed right up against her g-spot with each roll of his hips.Â
âShit. Squeezing me so tight, love,â Tommy rasped out, hand slipping between their bodies to rub at her clit. âGive me another one, yeah? I know you can, sweetheart.â
âMmâŚâ Her back arched, pressing her clothed breasts into his chest. Her legs tightened around him, and her jaw clenched with the effort it was taking for her not to let the volume of her noises get too high. His cock twitched and throbbed inside her, in the way that she knew meant his orgasm was imminent. The pleasure built like steam rising in a kettle, tension mounting until she felt moments away from bursting. Her walls spasmed uncontrollably around him, as if wanting to keep him locked in place within her for all eternity. Tommy hitched her thigh up a little higher on his hip, allowing his cock to get just that much deeper into her, and applied more pressure to her clit with his thumb.Â
She came at the same moment that she managed to grab his face and bring his mouth crashing down onto hers, each of them swallowing what would have been massive moans as they both came fantastically. Her walls clamped down around him, insides fluttering with the force with which she came. Tommyâs chest vibrated under her palms with his growl as he finished, grinding his tip in as deep as he could go while spurting jets of seed into her.Â
Lucy released a blissful sigh, closing her eyes and riding out the waves of her climax while basking in the feeling of him spilling his load into her.Â
Tommy slumped forwards against her, face nestling in the crook of her shoulder, lips pressing to her neck delicately whilst he relaxed. His arms wound around her in a warm embrace, a quiet purr leaving his chest when she stroked the back of his head.Â
âWe should go,â Lucy finally broke the silence that had stretched on between them. Tommy nodded, shifting to carefully pull out of her, tucking himself back into his trousers and straightening out his clothes. He plucked a handkerchief from his pocket for her to use to clean the mix of their releases from her thighs, then let her hold onto his shoulders when she hopped off the edge of the desk and regained her balance.Â
âHave you got everything locked up?â he asked as she pulled her slacks back up.
âYeah, just gotta grab a few things from my desk to take with us.â
âGood. I wanna get out of here.â
She raised an eyebrow. âTommy Shelby eager to leave work? Is there a special occasion Iâm not aware of?â
He rolled his eyes, giving her hip a light pinch. âNo occasion.â He swiped a few locks of hair off of her forehead and cradled the back of her neck, a smile tugging on the edges of his lips while his eyes looked her up and down. There was something heated in them that made her thighs squeeze together. âExcept that Iâm not even close to done with you yet.â
â â âÂ
âYou know, Frances, if there were to be a snap election in this house today, I wouldnât win it. Even if I were running against the devil himself,â Tommy remarked to their housekeeper once theyâd gotten home. Frances shot him a sympathetic look.Â
âIâd still vote for you,â Lucy offered. Tommy gave her a peck on the cheek.
âThanks, love.â
He went off to go talk to Charlie where he was sulking in the stables while Lucy ventured upstairs, wandering through the winding hallways until she heard the hum of Lizzie and Rubyâs voices. Coming to a halt in the doorway of Rubyâs room, she watched them where they were seated together in the rocking chair by the window, Ruby in Lizzieâs lap, head resting on her motherâs chest while Lizzie read to her from a book.Â
âHi, Lucy!â Ruby said when she spotted her. Lucy smiled.
âHey, kiddo.â
âIs Daddy with you?â
âHeâs down at the stables.â
She let out an excited squeal, jumping off Lizzieâs lap and racing for the door.
âRuby, what have I told you about running in the house!?â Lizzie shouted after her, but the little girl was already long gone. Lizzie rolled her eyes fondly, shaking her head and closing the book. As Lucy watched her stand to put it away on a shelf, she noticed Rubyâs suitcase laid out on the bed, half filled with clothes.Â
âGoing somewhere?â
Lizzie sighed, glancing over at the suitcase, then back at Lucy. âIâm taking Ruby to Arthurâs.â
Lucy stared at her. âWhy?â
Lizzieâs lips pulled back from her teeth. âBecause, I realized this afternoon that Iâd rather swallow horse shit than sit down and eat dinner with you and him.â She began to zip up Rubyâs luggage. âI need to get away. From both of you. At least for a while.â
âYou could have phoned and we wouldâve stayed at the apartment in London like we did last night if you really donât want us here this weekend.â
âI donât know if itâs going to be for just one weekend.â
Lucy straightened. âWhat do you mean?â
Lizzie didn't reply.Â
âYou cannot be serious. Now, Lizzie? You want to toy around with the idea of splitting up with your husband now? Of all fucking times?â
âHe made me look like an idiot at the family meeting!â Lizzie burst out, head lifting and tears in her eyes. âEveryone else knew about the bloody hit in Chinatown except for me! I am his wife! I should be informed of these things first! Especially before you!â The way that she spat out that last word, so full of hate and disgust, made Lucy flinch. Â
âFor fuckâs sake, Lizzie! Thereâs a lot of shit here that you are more than justified in being unhappy about, but this? Really? This is where you draw the line?â A humorless laugh left her lips. âI hate to break it to you, but him not telling you things is a normal occurrence. Ada didnât know about what was happening in Chinatown either.âÂ
Lizzie looked away, irritably picking up a stuffed animal off of Rubyâs bed. Lucy took a deep breath, and when she spoke again her voice was much calmer.Â
âThis is not worth throwing a bloody temper tantrum over, Lizzie.â
âIâm tired of being disrespected,â she lifted her head. âIâm his wife, and he needs to start treating him as such.â
Lucy groaned, raising her palms to her face, fighting back the urge to scream into them. âJust once, could you knock it off with the attitude?â
âEasy for you to say, when you always get everything that you wantââ
âOh, do I, now?â Lucy rounded on her. âYou think that this,â she gestured vaguely, âis what I want? To have to share him with a woman who openly hates me?â
âI donât hate youââ
But Lucy talked right over her. âTo have to live with the constant worry that you might push me out or he might change his mind and throw me out on the street? That it could happen like that,â she snapped her fingers. âAnd I could lose everything? Do you think that I wanted to live with that dangling over my head at all hours of the day, Lizzie?â She met the taller womanâs stormy eyes levelly. âWeâre all getting a shit deal out of this, so stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself, and make the best of it,â she moved to the door.Â
âYou are so fucking selfish, you know that!?â Lizzie shrieked after her, finally fully exploding. âYou sap up all his love for yourself and leave nothing for the rest of us! You donât care that him spending time with you means heâs not here with his family! Those children,â she pointed towards the window that looked out to the stables, âdeserve a father who prioritizes them over running after his fucking mistress.â
âDonât you dare try to use the kidsââ
âWell, somebody in this household has to advocate for them!â
âDonât act like you arenât just using them as a way to try to get what you want.â
Lizzieâs lips slammed into a thin line. âIâm going. And Iâm taking Ruby with me.â
âBut not Charlie?â Lucy challenged.Â
âIf I thought that I could take him without Tommy tearing me apart over it, I would,â Lizzieâs voice had suddenly grown very quiet. âIâd take the two of them far away from you both and never look back.â
Lucy shook her head, exhausted. âHeâs not that bad, Lizzie. Compared to what he could be? Heâs not that bad at all. He doesnât hit you. He loves those kidsâŚâ she could see from the expression of stone on Lizzieâs face that none of her words would be able to reach her, and yet she tried anyway. âHeâs got so much to deal with right now. Please donât make it worse for him.â
Lizzie continued to just stare at her with a look of both extreme sorrow and loathing, and then she picked up Rubyâs suitcase and shouldered past her without another word.
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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!
#tommy shelby#peaky blinders#lucy winters#my ocs#lucy winters x tommy shelby#tommy shelby x oc#love me where i'm most ruined#peaky blinder fanfic#peaky blinders oc#do you love me#lily writes#my fanfiction
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I have nothing ahead of me
#girlblogging#girlhood#iâm just a girl#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lipstick on a pig#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#tumblr girls#coqquette#ready to kms#i wanna kms#im going to kms#kms#kisses#xoxoxo#im just a girl#hell is a teenage girl#daddy's good girl#just girly things#lizzy grant summer#lizzy grant aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#mistki#i crave validation#male validation#do you love me#mental health#music#lol
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I wonder what I look like in your eyes
#actually bpd#bpd#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#bpd thoughts#living with borderline#bpd feels#aesthetic#bpd mood#borderline personality problems#do you love me#pretty#i hate having an fp but also hate not having one#iâm not normal#not pretty enough#sad thoughts#twisted wonderland#quotes#current mood#eyes#sadgirl#poem#mentally fucked#borderline thoughts#bpd stuff#borderline splitting#actually mentally ill#bpd problems#bpd rage#borderline favorite person
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can you please write some responds for "do you love me?" (bridgerton reference yes)
Responses for "Do You Love Me?"
-> feel free to edit as you see fit.
"Of course I do."
"What made you think I don't?"
"Have I done something wrong?"
"No, not yet."
"I'm trying to."
"Quite the opposite actually."
"I could be asking you the same thing."
"Do you love me?"
"What a silly thing to ask."
"More than all the stars in the sky."
"Yes, and I think its killing me."
"Against my better judgement, yes."
"No."
"Why would you ask that?"
"If I've given you that impression, it was a mistake."
"And you think this because...?"
"How could I not?"
*laughs*
"You are not the main character, sweetheart."
"How do I put this nicely?"
"I'd rather choke on my own foot."
"More than you could possibly imagine."
"Have I given you the impression that I don't?"
"Oh."
If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider donating! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi!
#writing prompts#dialogue prompt#otp prompts#prompt list#story prompt#writeblr#prompts#ask box prompts#soft prompts#response prompts#do you love me#creative writing
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Chanel Uzi đŞˇ
#chanel uzi#lifestyle#fashion#self love#rh#so hot đĽđĽđĽ#thick babe#fashion nova#beautiful model#do you love me#savage x fenty
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Do I make you quiver to the core,
An ache in your body
Growing too steadily to ignore,
Does it pain you to watch me
Without being able to endure?
For if it did my love,
All you have to do, is ask for more
#artists on tumblr#dark academia#poeticstories#poets#classic literature#coquette#lit#poetic#poeticstateofmind#dark and beautiful#dark romanticism#dark romance#romaticism#romantizing life#romantic academia#romantic#romance#romantic quotes#dark and lovely#love poesia#poetry about love#love potion#love quotes#love letters#do you love me#love me#touch my body#fear of the deep#fear of the dark#twcpoem
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~Teacherâs Pet~
#actually obsessive#i love you#obsessive love#obsessive thoughts#self love#beautiful#bunny#obsession#pretty#tell me im cute#tell me im pretty#tell me im hot#i love him#self care#sexy pose#beauttiful girls#makeup#do you love me#obsessive yandere#obsessivecore#fall in love#fall in love with me#SoundCloud#soft cnc#softcore#so hot and sexy#so fucking hot
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youtube
KISS - do you love me !!!
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OMNIA VINCIT AMOR
Ah, here she comes, blocking the sun
Blood running down the inside of her legs
The moon in the sky is battered and mangled
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle
Do you love me?
All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I swear I made every effort not to abuse her
Crazy bracelets on her wrists and her ankles
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle
#omnia vincit amor#do you love me#those who fear tomorrow#unholy cvlt#nick cave#red dress#some heavy shit#dark aesthetic#dark photography#girls with tattoos#photography#inked girls#inkedandsexy#tattoed girls#daddy's good girl#jingle jangle
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Hello babyđ.... My contents are very much available to you, get to see me in and out đđđŚđ
#transisbeautiful#australia#germany#trans#trans woman#transgender#transgirl#aesthetic#do you love me
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I'm just a normal girl but I've got this thing between my legs! Idk what to do?
#new jersey city#trans pride#transgender#transgirl#transformers#trans male#trans nsft#igbtq pride#ifttt#igbtqia#nice cock#i guess#do you love me#would you look at that
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Part 26: Do You Love Me
Summary:Â Devastating news from Michael in America leads Tommy and Lucy to congregate with ghosts.
Word Count: 6,213
Warnings: Drug use, polyamory, animal death, and references to pregnancy.
Notes: This chapter is a little heavy on exposition, so sorry in advance for that. But there's a bit of a time jump between this and the previous part, so I wanted to make sure everyone was caught up on the dynamics between the characters before we really hit the ground running.
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Chapter 1: Gathering Storm
The wind howled over the barren hills, pushing white wisps of mist across the landscape. There was hardly a tree in sight, and what little browned or yellowed grass there was trembled against the cold breeze. The phone booth that stood before them looked terribly out of place, red and man-made and screaming from within as the phone tucked inside its guts rang out.Â
Wraithâs hooves clomped against the hard ground, snorts and quiet whinnies sounding from his nose. His sides flexed against Lucyâs legs with each movement, betraying the powerful muscle encased under his deep black pelt.Â
Tommy eased him to a stop beside the phone booth and dismounted, handing her the reins. Lucy turned her head to look out at the wasteland of dirt and rolling hills around them as he ducked into the booth to pick up the still shrieking phone. Wind tugged lightly at her red curls and kissed icily at her freckled cheeks. Wraith snorted, shifting from foot to foot, dipping his enormous head, black mane twisting in the breeze. Lucy gave him a gentle pat to quell his impatience, watching the dark silhouette of Tommyâs body through the glass panes of the phone booth. Condensation beaded on the transparent material, leaving it blurry.Â
They had been out living on the land for a few days. Sleeping in vardos, eating what they were able to catch or forage, and languishing in the fresh air that was free from the smoke and soot of the city. Lizzie and the kids were with them, as was Johnny Dogs and some of his kin. All of whom were lingering back at the camp while she and Tommy went to take the prearranged phone call. It was nice. A much needed break of the usual insanity of their lives.Â
Well, it had been nice. All the way up until that business with Dangerous.Â
Lucy swallowed hard, adjusting her grip on Wraithâs reins. Poor, sweet, wild horse. Tommy had been nearly despondent when it became clear they would have to put him down. He had insisted on doing the deed alone, and when he came to her after it was done, there was a shakiness in his hands that only she knew him well enough to notice, and his eyes were unsteady and clouded over with grief and something dark and despairing.Â
The wind picked up a little, and the walls of the phone booth creaked and rattled. A foreboding death whistle sounded across the hills. Lucy shifted uncomfortably, adjusting the lay of her peaked cap on her head, trying to pull it down to protect her ears from the cold.Â
Tommy emerged from the booth a moment later, eyes sweeping across the muddied hills, taking in the gray clouds gathering in the sky. He looked tired, the face under the shadow of his cap drawn in and layered with stress.Â
âEverything alright?â she asked when he approached, scooting back in the saddle so that he could climb into the space in front of her on the stallion. Â
âYeah. Arthur got a letter from the Angels of Retribution. They said that they hadnât even heard of us, so I told Finn to send Aberama and Isiah to introduce themselves. But to stay out of it himself.âÂ
âGood.â Isiah and Aberama were two of their soldiers that she trusted the most. Aberama had proven himself to be an invaluable asset. Shaped by experience, calculation, and ruthlessness. And IsiahâŚwell, Isiah had been trained by her personally. âReady to head back?â
Tommy took hold of the reins, sighing and looking out at the vast landscape around them. They could disappear out here, if they wanted to. Never to be seen again. âYeah,â he said, in a voice that indicated the exact opposite. Lucy wrapped both arms around his waist, pressing her front to his back, holding onto him for both stability and comfort. He lowered one of his big palms to rest on top of hers where they clasped against his stomach, thumb rubbing her knuckles before taking hold of the reins. He snapped them once and drove his heels into Wraithâs sides, and the massive black stallion took off in a ferocious, booming gallop across the field.
They rode back the long way, neither of them saying anything as the wind whipped at their clothes. Lucy didnât mind; she could sense that Tommy needed the time to think. Â
By the time they picked their way to the ridge overlooking where they had made camp, the wind had died down somewhat. Good thing, too. The cold was making her shoulders begin to ache with the pains that so often plagued them.
Looking down, she could see the little figures of Johnny and his boys moving amongst the wagons. They had dug a huge hole in the time that theyâd been gone, a small mountain of dirt piled up next to it. The little lake shimmered in the sunlight. A dog barked.Â
Tommy brought Wraith to a stop, staring with his eyes fixed not on the hole Johnny and his men had dug, but the body wrapped in canvas next to it. Lucy gave him a small squeeze around the middle. Near the wagons, by where a table and chairs had been erected, she could see the tall, elegantly dressed figure of Lizzie looking up at them. Beside her, a smaller figure, hard to make out at this distance, but probably Ruby, turned her head to stare at the ridge.Â
In front of her, Tommy shifted, reaching into his pocket and procuring a small brown bottle, uncorking it.Â
âCan I have some?â she asked, after he took a small swig. He passed it back to her silently. The drug burned slightly as it entered her mouth and coated her throat. She was mindful not to drink too much; she was small, and it wouldnât take a lot to have her flying high as a kite if she wasnât careful. Handing back the vial to Tommy, he slid the cork back into place and pocketed it.Â
More and more often, they found themselves swigging from that little bottle.
Tommy nudged Wraith into moving again, and they started to follow the path descending the ridge, heading into the camp.Â
Once they arrived, Tommy dismounted first to be immediately greeted by Ruby running to him. He stooped, beckoning her to him and scooping her into his arms. Lizzie was right behind her daughter, moving to walk by Tommyâs side as he carried Ruby over to where the wagons were stationed. She gave a thin, barely perceptual smile to Lucy as she passed by the horse.Â
That was how things were these days, for the most part. Lizzie may have begrudgingly given her blessing for Tommy to remain seeing Lucy behind closed doors despite his marriage to her, but that did not mean she was particularly happy about it. Â
It was no secret that Tommy and Lizzie had problems. Lucy lived at Arrow House with them; she had a front row seat to all the shouting matches and bitter resentment that had plagued their marriage.Â
She had done her best not to get involved. Tommy and Lizzieâs relationship was their business, and she doubted that Lizzie would respond well to her meddling in it. But it was hard, with her proclivity to want to fix things for people, to not try to repair their strained union.Â
Things between her and Lizzie wereâŚtumultuous. Theyâd had their share of rough patches here and there in the years since she and Tommy got married. Incidents like Lizzie asking Lucy to move rooms. It had been shortly after Lizzie and Ruby moved into Arrow House. Lizzie had wanted Ruby to have the room closest to the master bedroom should she need her in the middle of the night. Lucy hadnât minded. Of course, she had assumed that Lizzie would have her moved to one of the unoccupied rooms further down the hall, not to the opposite end of the house. In a drafty, overlooked room. The drafts went unfixed for nearly a month, despite her bringing them up to Lizzie multiple times. It was only after Tommy took notice of them that they were finally dealt with.Â
Over time sheâd grown used to Lizzieâs bursts of jealousy-induced passive aggression, even though it still always stung. Despite her attempts to not let it bother her. In the end, she really felt quite sorry for her, and massively guilty for the role she had undeniably played in amplifying her misery.Â
She should have put a stop to it all earlier, back when Lizzie was still a prostitute that she and Tommy frequented when looking for a bit of variety in their sex life. And especially after he had made Lizzie his secretary. And yet they still continued to intermediately sleep with her. That had been a mistake, and not just because of the pregnancy. It had led Lizzie on, and that hadnât been fair.
And then theyâd gone and made things even worse when Tommy married Lizzie.
They had not been dishonest about the arrangement that would come with the marriage. Tommy had not married Lizzie for love, but for convenience. Having an illegitimate child could hurt his image as a politician. And he needed a wife. Someone to run the house and care for the children while he was gone. And to help project the image of a traditional family to his constituents. Marrying her was the right, respectable thing for him to do. Lizzie would enjoy all the benefits of being Mrs. Shelby, but Tommy and Lucy would be continuing their relationship. They had all been clear on that. Lizzie had said that she was okay with that. Â
But Lizzie had always been in love with Tommy. Lucy had seen it in her eyes, years ago. And their current actions had done nothing but fan the flames of hope that Lizzie carried in her heart that someday, Tommy would love her the way that she wanted him to. Lucy sometimes wondered if Lizzie thought that if she wanted it badly enough, sheâd be able to change him into the man that she wanted him to be. Â
Tommy had tried. Sort of. Lucy had seen it during the first year of his marriage to Lizzie. He had tried so hard to play the role of if not a loving and attentive husband, than at the very least a present and dutiful one. But as time went on and the mask slipped, he had ultimately given up the charade, resigning himself to a life with a wife who he didnât love.Â
And then the bitterness and resentment came. There were days where things were better. Lucy could sit by the fire, giggling and playing cards or chess with Lizzie after the kids had gone to bed. But then there were days where even the smallest thing set Lizzie off, spewing cruel words at her or Tommy who, true to his nature, gave just as good as he got. Â
In all honesty, Arrow House was no longer the refuge that it had once been. She and Tommy were now relegated to quick and brief touches and kisses in the darkest corners of the house or else they risked Lizzieâs ire. Not that work was much different, as anything outside of strictly professional behavior could risk blowing up everything they had worked so hard to build these past few years. There was the apartment they had in London for when they worked too late to justify driving back to Birmingham, but often when they went there they were both too exhausted to do much more than sleep. It was with a bit of a startle that Lucy realized that she could not remember the last time they had done anything even remotely romantic outside of quick, almost mindless fucks. Â
One of Johnnyâs boys came over to lead Wraith away by the reins, and Lucy remained securely seated in the saddle, resting a hand on the back of the irritable horseâs neck. Even after so many years, he didnât take too kindly to strangers, and there was always a risk when someone unfamiliar tried to approach him that he would try to bite or kick. But with her still astride him, he behaved himself, letting Johnnyâs boy guide him towards one of the wagons.Â
âIâll do that,â she said to the man, dismounting with ease and taking the rope he was about to use to tie Wraith to the side of the vardo. He nodded respectfully, handing it over and walking around her to go help Johnny and his men haul the carcass of Dangerous into the grave theyâd dug. Â
Sheâd just finished looping the rope into place, giving Wraith a companionable pat on the flank when she heard Charlieâs voice raise in an angry cry from where he, Tommy, Lizzie, and Ruby were all gathered at a nearby wagon,
âNo! Itâs what you do! Shoot horses, shoot people. Everybody says!â He stood, turned, and disappeared back into the wagon, stomping his little feet in a way that was eerily similar to his father.Â
Tommy winced, shoulders drawing in, expression locking down in a way that Lucy recognized as him working very hard not to let the hurt he was feeling show too obviously on his face. Straightening, he fetched a cigarette from his case and went to the hole where Dangerousâs body lay. After a momentâs hesitation, Ruby followed him.Â
âWhat happened?â Lucy asked in a quiet voice, going to stand by Lizzie, slipping off her gloves to tuck them away in her pocket.
âCharlie heard Johnny say in Rokka that Tommy shot the horse.â
âOh.â
âHe doesnât understand that it was out of mercy. And he wonât listen to anyone who tries to explain it to him.â
Lucy sighed, pulling out and lighting a cigarette. âWell, at least we know heâs been paying attention when learning his languages.â
âMaybe you could try talking to himâŚâ
She flicked ash down onto the grass. âHe doesnât really listen to me all that much these days.â
Lizzie looked down and away. Lucy thought she mightâve seen a flicker of guilt in her eyes.Â
There was a time when she and Charlie were close. She had known him since before he was born. And even prior to Graceâs death, she had been a second mother to him. Something both Tommy and Grace encouraged. Her lovers had wanted their son to see her as another parent, and so that was the position she had taken up in his life. Or at least tried to.Â
But things had shifted in the past few years. Some of it could be chalked up to just the boy growing up and that typical Shelby willfulness finally making itself known. She didnât think, for all her faults and all the strife between them, that Lizzie had purposefully driven a wedge between her and Charlie. But working with Tommy in London meant that she wasnât home as much, and with Lizzie always at Arrow House and functioning more often as his mother than Lucy was, things had changed. Slowly, they drifted apart. And now he hardly spoke to her. He called Lizzie Mum, but not her. Never her.
Lucy could not fault him for growing more partial to Lizzie. After all, she was the one who was always there, to help him with his schoolwork, attend his extracurriculars, mind that he ate his vegetables at dinner, and kiss his scraped knees when he fell playing in the garden. It made sense that he would grow closer to her, and that he would side with her when he saw just how much distress the arrangement between his three parents brought her. In his eyes, Lucy had to figure that she appeared to be the primary source of his motherâs pain.Â
Maybe she was.Â
Perhaps that was why she gave up so easily without a fight, letting him drift away from her with no protest. A way to try to atone for the agony she had caused Lizzie. She may have Lizzieâs husband, but Lizzie had her child.Â
She loved Charlie. She only ever wanted what was best for him, and right now, that was Lizzie. She would take care of him, offer him the closest thing to a normal, stable life that was possible for him to have.
It was better for him, this way. He deserved a better mother than the broken fragments that was all Lucy had to offer.Â
Despite her understanding of her boyâsâno, not hers, not anymoreâchanged emotions towards her, it hurt like a knife to the chest. She had loved him from the moment she first held him, had rocked him to sleep hundreds of times when he was a baby, had watched him grow up into the precocious little boy he was now. He was her baby. Or at least the closest she would ever have to one.Â
Of Tommyâs two children, Ruby was surprisingly the one who was warmer towards her these days. But then again, Ruby was sweet with everyone.  Â
Turning her gaze back over to where Tommy stood by the unfilled grave with his daughter, she examined the lines of sorrow standing out starkly on his face as he gazed at the dead horse in the hole. She dropped her cigarette to the ground, grinding it under her heel, about to go to him when the growl of an approaching engine caught her attention. Her head turned, hand half raising to dip inside her coat to where her revolver sat in its holster tucked securely against her ribs, before she recognized it as Arthurâs car.Â
By the grave, Tommy had also noticed the car, ushering Ruby over towards Lizzie and moving to meet Arthur when he shut off the engine and jumped out of the driverâs seat. He had a newspaper in his hand.Â
Lucy moved to stand at Tommyâs side, craning her head around his shoulder to peer at the newspaperâs headline when Arthur handed it over.Â
BILLIONS LOST IN WALL STREET CRASH, it read, in huge black letters. Behind them, she could hear the scrape of shovels and the dull thud of dirt being dumped back into the hole.Â
Despite the headline, her stomach did not drop with horror. They had known that this was coming. Tommy had already instructed Michael to sell before the numbers of the stocks and shares collapsed, so they would beâgenerally speakingâunaffected.Â
It wasnât until Arthur started speaking, explaining how Michael had ignored their advice in favor of that of a broker and held on, that her guts began to turn with outrage and dismay. Michael had held on. And taken them all down with him.
She exhaled roughly, taking a step back, slowly shaking her head. Oh, no. Oh, fucking no.
How much had they lost? Just trying to do the calculations in her head for a ballpark number made her temples start to hurt.Â
Oh, she was going to disembowel Michael fucking Gray.
Incompetent, arrogant, backstabbing fool. They should never have forgiven him for that shit he pulled during the vendetta. Banishment had been too kind a punishment for him. Â
âThat idiot,â she seethed, looking to Tommy. âIâm going to kill him.â
The expression on his face said that he may very well let her. He started to tread back and forth, rubbing at his eyes, mumbling in a way she knew was more to himself than to any of them. His teeth were grinding together, jaw jumping under his skin. It did not take long before he was shouting, pacing the ground like an angry jaguar and raging.
âWhat do I have to do to make people fucking listen to me!?â he screamed into the wind, a hand going to clasp over his mouth as he paced a few more times then stilled, eyes staring with his mind spinning behind them.Â
And then he was jumping into action, sounding off orders to both Lizzie and Arthur with a snap of his fingers. He did not need to give Lucy her directions, she already knew them, reaching into her pocket to procure her leather gloves and slide them over her hands, gesturing to one of Johnnyâs men to get Wraith where he was tied up.Â
âI need to do some thinking,â Tommy announced as he headed towards the horse with Arthur on his heels.Â
âOh. Oh, you do that best on your own, donât you, eh?â Arthur challenged, agitated.Â
âI wonât be on my own. Iâm never on my own.â Tommy pulled himself into the saddle. âLucy,â he said, and she was already there, reaching up to take his outstretched hand, the strength in his arm helping to leverage her up onto Wraithâs back behind him. He gave one last set of instructions to Lizzie, and a final parting word to Arthur, and then he was driving Wraith into a gallop deeper into the hills. This time, they did not head up to the top of the ridge, but instead towards the trees, Wraithâs canter slowing as they entered the dense thicket of foliage, the wilderness seemingly opening up, and swallowing them whole.Â
â â â Â
âDo you want me to kill him?â
They were seated on a log in front of the dancing flames of the fire Tommy had ignited shortly after darkness fell over the forest. Lucy had her head on his shoulder, leaning against his side to soak in the warmth that radiated from his body.
âHm,â Tommy hummed, fingertips stroking where they rested on her upper arm, cheek turning against the top of her head. She had to bite back a smile at the clear consideration in his voice. âNot yet. Not until we know what really happened.â
âHeâs a snake.â
âHeâs an idiot. But that doesnât mean this was a purposeful betrayal.â
âYeah,â she agreed with a sigh, adjusting her head on him. Tommy picked at a sprig of mint held in his gloved hands, pulling off a few of the green leaves and popping them into his mouth. Wraith snorted from where he was tied to a nearby tree. âI still donât trust him.â Â
Tommy tossed the remainder of the sprig away. âMe neither.â
Before them, the fire popped and crackled. Lucy grabbed a few bits of kindling that theyâd collected to feed into the flames.Â
âI hate to add more onto your plate, but I got a message from Adaâs doctor earlier.â Every day since theyâd been out in the country, she went to the red phone booth to take messages from Frances, Isiah, and their other various informants. âSheâs pregnant.â
Tommy sighed deeply, but didnât appear surprised. âYoungerâs?â
âThe doctor didnât know, but I would assume so. Who else could it be? Not that it affects things all that much. I just thought you should know. So you donât get blindsided by it later.â
âThank you.â
They fell into companionable silence again. He had been quiet since they took off into the woods, busy in his head working on all the new problems Michael had just created for them. Lucy offered suggestions and insights when prompted, but otherwise just let him be, knowing after so many years together that her presence at his side was all he needed while he strategized.Â
He shifted, reaching into his pocket to once more procure the little bottle of dope he kept tucked away there. Uncorking it, he handed it over to her first. Lucy took it gratefully, the glass cold against her fingers as she brought it to her lips and tilted her head back to take a swig. Almost immediately, she felt her mind begin to loosen, the corners of her eyesight growing fuzzy.Â
She handed the bottle back to Tommy. There wasnât much left; and he downed the remainder of the drug, tossing the empty bottle into the fire uncaringly. His arm went around her once more, the solid strength of it holding her to his side. Lucy snuggled in close, grateful for the comfort and heat, hoping that she could offer the same to him.Â
Her eyes closed, and together, they waited for the ghost.Â
She did not need to open her eyes to know once she had arrived. She could sense the way that the air around them seemed to shift, the weight of another presence appearing across the fire from them heavy despite her lack of a corporeal body.
Tommy spoke to her a little, and she responded in her gentle Irish lilt. Lucy could hear the smile on her face. The love in her voice. Â
Quick as she appeared in front of them, she was suddenly behind them, her arms encircling them. Solid and real, though they shouldnât have been. Her body was nothing but ash, spreading into the wind, and yet she was there, holding them as though she had never left.Â
âAll this timeâŚâ Tommy murmured, reaching to hold onto the ghost tighter.Â
âI know. Our love still remains,â Grace said. Lucy felt tears squeeze from her eyes to roll down her cheeks. Graceâs hand petted the back of her head.Â
She had been coming to them both more and more often lately. They had each seen her on rare occasions before, but now it was a regular occurrence. Probably because of the dope.Â
Shared hallucinations, or real? It didnât really matter. She was there. She was speaking to them and holding them. Things were as they once were, before she and their only real chance at happiness was ripped away from them.Â
She was gone as quickly as she arrived, leaving nothing but cold air where she once stood over them. Lucy snatched at the empty space where her hand had been settled on her dead loverâs waist, lips trembling. Instead she latched onto Tommy, feeling him maneuver her so that her head was in his lap. He hugged her tighter, face bowing to bury in her hair, and there in the dark, she felt through their bond the true heavy weight of his despair crashing down onto them both, and the dampness of his salty tears dripping onto her scalp to seep into her skin.Â
â â â
By morning, they had a plan mapped out. Not a particularly desirable or moralistic one, but then again, few of their strategies ever really were.Â
It would sustain them until the current financial crisis was over, at the very least.
The first meeting on the subject was held at the Shelbysâ office in Birmingham. The long table in the conference room was already occupied by Polly, Ada, Arthur, Linda, Lizzie, and Leon Greene when Lucy and Tommy arrived. Lucy raised an eyebrow at the tension she felt already crackling in the air and shared a look with Tommy as she sat down in the chair to the right of his.
The meeting went over well enough, despite Lindaâs snobbish remarks and attempts to undercut Tommy at every turn. Sheâd been getting worse, ever since Arthur became chairman of the board. Like she thought that it was her husband who ought to be king, instead of Tommy.Â
The idea made Lucy want to roll her eyes so hard in her head that they were at risk of popping out. She loved Arthur to pieces, she really did. But he was not suited to the position of leading the empire Tommy had built.Â
Lucy did not speak much during the meeting, though she almost jumped across the conference table to throttle Linda at multiple points. Instead, she relegated herself to the sidelines, watching and listening quietly, as she so often did. Examining the faces of those seated around the table as Tommy explained their current financial situation, and his proposal for what they were to do to try to mitigate it.
At the end of the meeting, all of themâexcept for Linda who had already stormed outâvoted unanimously to go forward with Tommyâs plan.Â
Not that there had ever been any doubt that they would.Â
The next meeting was for family only. They left Mr. Greene back at the office while the rest of them stepped out into the smoky air of Small Heath, heading for the Garrison. They entered the pub to rapturous cheers and applause, people immediately swarming around Tommy, eager to shake his hand and thank him for the work heâd been doing.Â
Lucy watched him work the room, effortlessly charming each person who approached him. By the time he raised his voice to address the entire population residing in the pub, he had them all in the palm of his hand. He probably could have told them all to walk into the canal and they would have done so without question.Â
His request that they move into the saloon bar attached to the pub, albeit with the incentive of a promise of free drinks, was met with more cheers, the patrons hurrying towards the doors. Ada, Polly, and Lizzie all went to convene in one of the booths while Tommy leaned his shoulder against a nearby pillar, and Arthur went to sit in a chair at a table next to the booth. Lucy moved to close the doors leading into the saloon bar once all the patrons were packed inside, flicking the lock into place. Then she pulled up a chair between Arthur and Tommy, shedding her coat to lay over the back of it before sitting.Â
The meeting started off with Ada drawing a bullet from the depths of her handbag and setting it down on the table in front of her. Followed by an announcement that not only had Finn disobeyed them about staying out of the hit theyâd ordered in Chinatown, and as a result ended up on Adaâs couch with a bullet in his arm, but heâd also completely spilled his guts to her as far as the details of what heâd been doing there.Â
Fucking kid needed a lesson in how to keep his damn mouth shut.Â
But the damage had been done, and Ada and Lizzie were both well and truly furious about the whole thing.
âOh, Tommy, sweetheart,â Lizzie shook her head. Lucy raised her eyebrows at the term of endearment. âI listen to you. I listen to you when you tell me no more sport for anyone named Shelby. I listen to you when you make me promises.â
Lucy looked down at her hands, unconsciously playing with the plain golden rings that encircled several of her fingers. Guilt twisted inside her like a snake, writhing and squirming. How many of those promises had Tommy broken, in the years since theyâd been married?
How many times had it been her fault when he did?Â
He tried to explain why heâd sent their boys into Chinatown, but that only seemed to fan the flames of Lizzie and Adaâs mounting anger.Â
âJesus Christ, Tommy!â Lizzie snarled, slamming her hand down on the leather material lining the bench of the booth.Â
âI think that you both are overreacting a little here,â Lucy decided to finally speak. âItâs not that big of a deal. And itâs not that different from the type of thing we used to do all the bloody time. Finnâs fine, an asshole pimp is dead, and weâre about to make a hefty hunk of cash for carrying out the hit.âÂ
âIt was a particular opportunity.â Lucy started a little when, of all people, Polly chimed in. Polly, who hated her. Who had never accepted her. And yet, who had just spoken up in agreement with her.Â
Lizzieâs eyes darted between her, Lucy, and Tommy. Something dawned on her face, and then her features hardened into a deadly expression that Lucy had become all too familiar with.
âBut you told Polly and Lucy,â was all she said in response to the additional explanation that Tommy tried to give her, her voice cold as ice. And despite Polly, Arthur, and Tommy all starting to speak with further details and justifications for the whole thing, all it took was one look at Lizzieâs face and Lucy knew not a single word was actually getting through to her. She was too focused on that one detail: that her husband had told his lover and his aunt information that she believed herself to be entitled to know instead.Â
She would be chewing on that for the remainder of the week. Probably even longer.Â
âLizzie, you need to understandââ Tommy started, but didnât get very far.Â
âThat you tell Lucy and Polly, but not me.â Her jaw was clenched in a way that Lucy knew meant she was fighting very hard to keep the venom she wanted to spit at them from spewing out. Probably the only reason why it hadnât already was because they were amongst others. If theyâd been in private, sheâd have told them both exactly what she thought of them.Â
As if they didnât know already.Â
Tommyâs further attempts to smooth things over went about as well as Lucy expected. Once Lizzie got into one of her moods, she could be impossible to reason with. It was better to just leave her alone until it passed.Â
âLizzie, if Finn had listened to me, you wouldnât have known. When we go home, Iâll explain,â Tommy tried. Lucy cringed, already knowing that was the wrong thing to say even before Lizzie scoffed and started to gather up her things.Â
She stood, muttering, âI canât be bothered with this shit,â loud enough for everyone to hear, before storming out the door. Lucy rolled her eyes. All this whining and complaining about not being kept in the loop on things, and yet every time she did have the opportunity to be involved, she acted as if it was the last thing she was actually interested in doing. Â
Fuck, she was not looking forward to dealing with her and the earful she was sure they were due to get when they got home. Maybe it would be better for them to stay away for a few days to let Lizzie cool off. They could sleep over at their apartment in London instead of going home to Arrow House.Â
It didnât take long for Ada to follow Lizzie in storming out. Lucy watched her go, rubbing at one of her temples to try to stave off the headache she felt coming on. Jesus Christ, what was with all the cunty attitude today?
Tommy came to sit down in the vacant chair next to Lucy, leaning forward as Polly urged him to go easy on Ada on account of her pregnancy. It wasnât all that surprising that Polly knew. Even if Ada hadnât told her yet, Polly always knew when someone was pregnant.Â
In fact, the only one left at that table who didnât know was Arthur, who almost choked on his whiskey at the revelation.  Â
Polly left not long after that, though not before all but confirming to them that Ben Younger was the father of Adaâs baby. Lucy shared another knowing look with Tommy as he stood and slid into the booth, occupying the spot near the window where Polly had been a moment ago. Lucy shimmied in next to him, the red leather creaking a little under her as she got situated at his side. Arthur poured three glasses of whiskey, passing two of them across the table to her and Tommy.
Lucy sipped quietly at her drink while the brothers examined and discussed the bullet that had been ripped out of Finnâs arm.Â
âLet me see,â she held out her hand for the bullet when Arthur asked about the writing on it. She squinted at the tiny characters carved into the metal. âHm. My Chinese isnât fantastic, but I think this one just says âdeath.ââ She handed it back to Arthur.  Â
âAngels of Retribution?â he asked Tommy.Â
âYeah,â he kept turning his gaze out the window. Outside, Lucy could hear the sounds of horseâs hooves clomping against the cobbles and children chattering. She inched a little closer to him, until their sides just barely brushed. It was only them and Arthur; no need to try too hard to hide their relationship.Â
âNo one fucking listens to me,â Tommy lamented softly, leaning back with his head tilted towards the ceiling. Lucy nudged him companionably.Â
âI do.â
He shot her a soft look, hand smoothing down the back of her head, leaning forward to kiss her hairline. His unspoken gratitude hummed between them warmly. He gave her a gentle tap on the back to let her know it was time to go after taking the bullet from Arthur and pocketing it. Lucy slipped out of the booth, going to grab her coat and tug it back on, wincing at a slight twinge in her shoulders as she did.Â
âSee you later, Arthur,â she said in goodbye to the eldest Shelby brother where he was still sat in the booth. Tommy gave him a pat on the shoulder, telling him to let the patrons in the saloon bar come back in if they wanted, and then led the way outside, into the smoke and soot of Small Heath.Â
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I wanna be free
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Why do I have to be so mean to the people that I love
#actually bpd#bpd#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#bpd thoughts#living with borderline#bpd mood#bpd feels#mood swings#bpd rage#meaningless#do you love me#mentally fucked#borderline personality problems#actually mentally ill#borderline splitting
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Bunny Bunny Bunnyđ°đ¤
Just some old Halloween picsđ¤
#actually obsessive#i love you#obsessive love#obsessive thoughts#self love#beautiful#bunny#obsession#pretty#tell me im cute#tell me im pretty#sexy pose#stalk me#tell me im hot#do you love me#so hot and sexy#so fucking hot#cnc stalking#self care#obsessive yandere#obsessivecore#i love him#bunny girl#makeup#beauttiful girls#soft cnc#softcore#lingerie#halloween#stalker bf
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