#do they actually consider me a friend? or was it always one sided

[gyubakeries]

𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗰𝗲𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲𝘀 | h.js

a/n: so!! part 2 is here! thank you rie ( @okiedokrie ) and a ( @chugging-antiseptic-dye ) for supporting my insanity. this one is for u guys, my fav joshua stans 🫂

part 1

word count: 4k contents: NSFW content , joshua x afab!reader , college au , joshua records nsfw audios as a side hustle , friends to lovers , happy ending , nsfw warnings below the cut!

nsfw warnings: mdni! 18+ , protected sex , fingering (f. receiving) , multiple reader orgasms , come eating , oral sex (m. receiving) , breast play , lots of nicknames (darling, baby, beautiful, good girl)

joshua is a fairly simple guy. he’s kind and nice to everyone. he’s always down to help people if they need it. he’s got good grades, love from all his professors, and the reputation of being the ‘campus gentleman.’ he even volunteers at an animal shelter on some weekends. it’s all simple and great.

except for one secret he swears he will take to his grave. 

it’s the black and neon pink website he logs into every other week. it’s the microphone he records his moans in front of. it’s the thousands of people who pay him hundreds of dollars, on a weekly basis, just to hear him whispering dirty words to them.

it was a side job he picked up in the first year of college, when money was tight and his shifts at the local convenience store were barely able to cover his rent and student loans.

he was desperate and grasped at any chance he could get. when he stumbled across the website while trying to look for good porn, (don’t judge him, he has needs too) he made up his mind.

so, for a few weeks, he only had cup ramen for meals and used the leftover money to buy a good quality microphone. he set up his account on www. angelaudios.com, and nervously hit record for the first time.

he never looked back after that. 

joshua built a steady following of people who were just as desperate for pleasure as he was for money. he’d post audios twice a week, maybe even go live a few times if he wasn’t too busy. it worked out well for him, considering he could actually pay rent on time and afford to buy fresh ingredients to make his meals.

for each of his recordings, joshua usually needed some time and a vivid imagination to even get hard. but then, that changed when you came along.

you in your skirts and tank tops. you with your perfectly glossed lips. you and your cherry-scented perfume that joshua could only catch traces of whenever you sat next to him in your shared lectures.

after you, joshua didn’t need much motivation. he felt guilty about it every time, but he couldn’t help the natural reaction of his body whenever he thought about how he could see the swell of your breasts in the crop tops you wore, or how your perfectly manicured nails would look wrapped around him.

ShuaTalks gained a lot of traction, and he started earning more when he started posting four audios a week in the second year of college, and he had you to thank for it.

—

“so you’re telling me joshua hong records those asmr ‘POV: i’m your boyfriend and we have phone sex’ audios?” seungkwan raises an eyebrow at you, and you let your forehead slam against the table as you slump over in frustration.

“yeah, sort of,” you reply, your voice muffled because of the way your face is pressed up against the table.

“well, are we sure that it’s him? there’s tons of other guys named joshua, right?” seungkwan tries to reason.

“i listened to one of the audios last week, seungkwan,” you sigh, not even slightly embarrassed to admit it, because your friendship with seungkwan lacks any boundaries, which shouldn’t be healthy, but it works for the both of you. still, you don’t mention how his audios are what you’ve been listening to every night, for the past week. therefore, you can say with conviction that: “it’s him. i know.”

“you are a freak,” seungkwan scoffs, rolling his eyes at you. seconds later, his head is perking up and he looks at you with an expectant gaze.

“do you think i could get the link to the playlist too?”

“no! he’s my crush! go find your own audios!”

“knew it. freak.”

—

“were you busy last night? you didn’t answer my calls.”

you nearly let out a scream when you hear the voice that has been plaguing your thoughts for the past week. after managing to compose yourself, you turn to see joshua sitting down next to you, setting his bag down on the floor.

“sorry, i fell asleep early last night,” you smile awkwardly, trying your best to avoid eye contact with joshua.

“i saw you active at 2 a.m. though? and i’ve been trying to reach out for a week, but you never responded,” joshua refutes, and you mentally kick yourself for your stupid addiction to social media. “did i do something wrong? it’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me, but i just want to know why, and apologize for any mistakes i might have made.”

“joshua, it’s not like that,” you shake your head. “it was just-”

whatever bullshit lie you were going to give him gets cut off by the professor walking into the lecture hall. all students fall silent immediately, and the professor begins his lecture unceremoniously.

“let’s talk after class, okay?” you whisper to joshua to make sure the professor won’t hear you.

and to your devastation, joshua leans in closer to whisper into your ear: “let’s get coffee after class, yeah?”

you can only gulp and nod slowly, your head moving like a broken robot. joshua gives you a small smile and pulls away, shifting his attention back to the professor.

you, on the other hand, try your best not to make it obvious just how affected you were simply by joshua whispering into your ear.

—

after class, there’s not much scope for you to escape without joshua noticing, so you resign to your fate and follow joshua to the coffee shop on campus. although it’s just a three-minute walk, every second feels like an hour in itself, especially because you awkwardly keep your mouth shut and joshua keeps glancing at you in a way that he thinks is subtle.

it’s not.

you’re put out of your misery when the familiar glass doors of the coffee shop open up automatically in front of you. after a deep inhale, you enter the building, and joshua leads the both of you to a table in the corner.

“do you want your usual?” joshua asks, and you nod wordlessly. it’s like there’s a countdown only you are aware of, telling you how much time you have left before joshua confronts you about your strange behaviour and what you’re going to tell him.

you don’t use your time very wisely.

you can’t help but look at joshua, who is at the counter, placing the order for your drinks. you can’t help but look at how his lips move as he speaks. you can’t help but look at how his bright eyes form crescents when he smiles at the employee. you can’t help but look at how his graceful hands carry the tray of drinks back to the table.

you pinch your thigh under the table as you panic. joshua is back at the table, and you have to give him an answer. an answer that you haven’t come up with yet.

“you look like i’m here to interrogate you for murder,” joshua laughs, attempting to cut through the tension. “relax, okay? in fact, if you don’t want to talk about it, you could just leave, it’s alright.”

you bite your lip nervously, wondering what you could say to him without giving away exactly why you’ve been avoiding him.

“the link you sent me was- it wasn’t the playlist, joshua,” you blurt out, forgetting all your plans of lying to him.

“so i sent you the wrong playlist,” joshua repeats. “and you’ve been avoiding me because of that?”

“no, you didn’t send me any playlist,” you groan, and joshua still looks confused, which prompts you to take your phone out and open up your texts with joshua. you scroll past all the unanswered texts and stop at the link he sent you.

“click on the link, see where it’s taking you,” you sigh, handing the phone over to him. joshua takes the phone from you and does what he’s told. within a few seconds, his eyes are going comically wide and his face flushes red instantly as he hurries to switch the phone off.

“fuck- y/n, you weren’t supposed to see that-” joshua sputters out. he’s on the brink of hyperventilating, and the other people in the coffee shop keep shooting dirty glares at him.

“joshua, calm down, it’s alright-”

“no! it’s not! you weren’t supposed to know- no one was supposed to know about it!” joshua cuts you off with more panicked rambling, which seems to attract more attention from other people.

“god, joshua, just shut up!” you hiss, leaning across the table to place your hand over his mouth. “this isn’t the place to talk about, this situation. let’s go back to my place, okay?”

at your words, joshua finally calms down enough for you to take him by the arm and lead him out of the coffee shop, both your drinks left untouched. you take him back to your apartment as quickly as possible, offering him a seat on your couch and some water once you’re inside.

there’s a few minutes of silence as joshua drinks the water, and you use the time to blame yourself for being an idiot and telling joshua the truth and throwing the both of you in an awkward situation. your train of thought is interrupted when joshua clears his throat to speak.

“i know you’re probably disgusted by me after- after seeing that,” he starts, his voice shaky. “i’m really sorry for sending you that, it was a complete accident, i swear. i wasn’t trying to be a creep or anything. you’re free to judge me all you want, i deserve it-”

“joshua, i’m not going to judge you,” you assure him, and he looks up to face you, his eyebrows furrowing with surprise. “what you do in your private life is none of my business. even i owe you an apology for acting all strange, but i promise it’s not because i’m disgusted by you.”

“you’re not?” he asks, not quite convinced.

“i’m not,” you confirm, and some of the tension in his shoulders melts away when you shoot him a small smile.

however, his next question has you freezing in your place.

“how did you know it was me, though?” joshua questions. “i mean, you wouldn’t have known if you didn’t listen to the audios. you didn’t, right?”

it’s your turn to blush a violent shade of red and avert your eyes from joshua’s gaze. “i’m- well, i mean, i was- i didn’t know who it was so i, i may have listened to one?”

the previous panic in joshua’s eyes transform into a knowing expression and smirk. “are you sure? just one?”

“no,” you mumble, hoping joshua didn’t pick up on it, but clearly, luck isn’t on your side today.

“so you listened to more than just one?” joshua tilts his head, his voice taking on that sweet lilt you’ve become used to hearing in your earphones. “did you like them?”

your brain, unhelpful as always, decides to bring back bits and pieces from the audios you’ve been listening to all week. joshua’s groans, whispers, and that sound he makes just when he’s about to cum, replay in your ears, and you press your thighs together as arousal spikes in your gut.

“use your words, darling. i can’t read minds,” joshua nudges you, and you finally break.

“i liked them, i liked them a lot,” you admit, eyes boring holes into the floor of your living room. there’s a few beats of silence before a finger is tipping your chin up, and suddenly, joshua is kneeling in front of you, his eyes locked on yours.

then he asks, “did you touch yourself while listening to them?” you nod, and joshua makes a sound of disapproval.

“baby, i told you to use your words, didn’t i?”

“i did, i touched myself,” you confess. “i even- i even made a few donations.”

“really? that’s so sweet of you, darling,” joshua smiles sweetly, yet the hunger in his eyes is anything but sweet. “now that we’re here, you deserve a little gift for being so good, don’t you? let me show you how grateful i am to you?”

“are you- are you serious?” your voice is unsure and hesitant.

“of course i am,” joshua assures. “you’ve been on my mind for a long time, y/n. so, what do you say?”

it doesn’t take you much time to decide what you want. the second you mumble out a soft yes, joshua is leaning in close to capture your lips in a slow kiss.

you’ve spent not only the last week, but the entirety of the time you’ve known joshua wondering how his lips would feel against yours. and it exceeds anything your imagination had come up with.

the way he kisses feels as syrupy as nectar, and it keeps you wanting more, which is why you dig your fingers into the fabric of his shirt to pull him in closer, letting out a gasp when his tongue licks across your lips and moves past them.

his hands, the ones you’ve dreamed of every night, grip at your waist, his thumbs rubbing circles into your warm, exposed skin, where your shirt has ridden up. he then pulls away to latch his lips onto your neck, leaving sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of skin he has access to.

“fuck, josh, can we- can we take it to my bedroom?” you gasp when you feel his teeth graze against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck.

“show me the way, beautiful.”

—

in the blink of an eye, you’re already laying down on your bed, your clothes stripped off, leaving you in your underwear. joshua is in a similar state of undress as he hovers over you, the boxers he’s wearing doing a poor job of hiding how aroused he is.

“you’re so pretty, y/n,” he whispers, maintaining eye contact with you as he litters your skin with kisses. he swirls his tongue over your nipple over the fabric of your bra, and the sensation makes you let out a sharp whine. “i’ve waited for this moment for so long, you have no idea.”

“me too, fuck, just take the damn thing off-” you grit your teeth because of how joshua keeps teasing you by mouthing at your breasts over your bra. he smirks at you, and with the flick of a wrist, the clasp of your bra is undone, and it’s pulled off your body.

smiling like a cat who has got the cream, joshua takes the liberty to mark your chest, leaving behind red traces of him so that you remember him for days to come. you arch your back, leaning into his touch and letting out whimpers as he tugs at your nipples with his teeth, leaving them red and puffy.

“joshua, i need you touch me, please,” you moan. it’s been a while since you got laid, which makes every touch feel extra sensitive, and joshua’s teasing is only making the unsettling feeling under your skin worse. 

“mm, since you’ve been such a good girl, i’ll give you what you want,” joshua mutters against your skin. you don’t have to beg again, because he’s pulling off your panties next to rub on your clit in gentle circles.

your hips buck up to gain some more friction, and joshua laughs to himself when he sees the desperate scrunch of your brows. he leans down to kiss you once again, reveling in the way you moan into his mouth when he finally slips two fingers inside you.

“god, you’re so tight,” he murmurs into your mouth. “you can’t take me if you’re this worked up, darling.”

“no! i can take you, i promise!” you whine as the scissoring movement of his fingers slow down. “i’m your good girl, i can take it all.”

“desperate for cock, aren’t you?” joshua chuckles, but the sound is mean, and it does a great job of turning you on even more. the feeling of him talking to you in the flesh the way he does in his audios is unreal, and you can’t believe you got this lucky. “i like that, baby. let me stretch you out a little more, hm? so i can fit it all in?”

you nod your head quickly, turning your face to the side to bury it in the pillow as joshua adds a third finger, his thrusts increasing in their pace. you’re trying your best to hold on till joshua finally fucks you, but his fingers are rubbing all the right spots, and before you know it, you’re screwing your eyes shut, clenching down on him and cumming with his name on your lips.

when you finally open your eyes, you feel another gush of wetness drip from your cunt as joshua licks his fingers clean of your orgasm.

“just as sweet as i expected,” he remarks casually, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“joshua, i need you to fuck me right now, or i will actually combust,” you pant, chest heaving with the intensity of your orgasm. 

“you’re being quite demanding now,” joshua raises an eyebrow at you. “but i’ll indulge you. where are the condoms?”

“first drawer, to the right,” you point at the nightstand next to your bed. joshua is quick to retrieve a condom. just as he’s about to tear open the foil packet, you stop him.

“can i do it?” you ask, and joshua’s eyes are filled with amusement.

“go ahead, baby,” he nods.

he’s kneeling on the bed, and you get on all fours in front of him. this time, there’s a smirk on your face as you lick at the bulge straining against the thin fabric of his boxers.

“baby, don’t tease,” joshua says, his tone bordering on an order, so you comply and tug his boxers down. 

“darling, you’re drooling,” joshua’s voice snaps you out of the momentary daze you were in. you feel his hand hold your chin, his thumb gliding against the wetness gathered on your chin. “the sooner you get the condom on, the sooner you get the fucking you deserve.”

hearing his words, you gulp. joshua was, for a lack of better words, huge. bigger than anyone you’ve slept with, and quite frankly, it’s making you nervous. joshua seems to sense that, because he calls your name out again to catch your attention.

“hey, if you’re unsure about this, we could stop here,” joshua offers, his voice gentle now. “i don’t want to force you into anything.”

“no, it’s- i’m not unsure, i want this,” you shake your head. “it’s been a while, that’s all.”

“i’ll go slow with you, if that’s what you want,” joshua says, and you can hear the sincerity in his voice. “i never want to hurt you.”

“i know you wouldn’t,” you look up at him to give him a small smile. his attention is on you as he smiles back, and you seize the opportunity to catch him off-guard.

“oh shit,” joshua lets out a loud groan as you wrap your lips around his tip and suck, hard. he tries his best not to thrust into your mouth, knowing that once he started, it wouldn’t take him much time to cum down your throat. 

you seem to have understood it too, because your mouth doesn’t relent. you keep suckling at the tip like it’s a lollipop, the sound obscene to even your own ears. 

and then, you hear it. the sound he makes in the back of his throat. the breathy whine he lets out just as he’s about to reach his peak. at that very moment, you pull away with a satisfied grin. you pay little attention to the frustrated sounds joshua makes as you roll the condom over his length, pressing a kiss to the head as you lay back against the pillows again, spreading your legs in anticipation.

joshua all but pounces on top of you, claiming your lips in a hungry kiss as he lines his cock up with your hole, slowly nudging it inside you. your breath hitches in your throat at the pleasurable pain of his cock stretching out your walls. joshua distracts you from the pain by kissing you through it, one hand holding your waist, and the other finding yours to intertwine your fingers together.

“you feel so good around me, baby,” joshua says, and you feel the words being spoken against the skin of your neck as joshua finally bottoms out in you.

“feel so full,” you gasp. “please move, please.”

joshua doesn’t need any more convincing. he slowly pulls out and snaps his hips forward in sharp movements. his thrusts are so deep you think you can feel him in your throat. “faster, baby, c’mon,” you beg, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders and your legs tightly wrapping around his waist.

“you want it faster? want me to fuck you till your cunt only remembers the shape of my cock?” joshua grunts, picking up his speed, making you moan even louder. he’s fucking you so good you can’t even string together a coherent sentence, only mindless babbling leaves your lips.

“‘m so close, baby. you’re close too, hm?” joshua rasps, now rubbing your clit in tandem with his thrusts. “i can feel you clenching down on me. gonna milk my cock like a good girl, yeah?”

“fuck, yes joshua, i’m gonna cum-” your moans are only getting louder, and they provoke joshua to go faster to see just how loud you can get for him.

“go on, baby, let go for me,” joshua says, and if those were the magic words, you’re cumming again. this time, joshua reaches his climax at the same time. his thrusts slow down to a deep grind of his hips as you both ride out your orgasms.

“what the fuck, i can’t feel my legs,” you wheeze, your limbs practically reduced to jelly with how satisfying your orgasm was.

“can’t say i’ve ever had a girl say that to me before,” joshua chuckles. he slowly pulls out of you and collapses next to you on the bed.

“you do this with a lot of girls?” you ask, not daring to look at him.

“with a few, but i don’t have the same feelings for them as i do for you,” joshua replies without any hesitation, and it makes you turn your head to the side to look at him.

“you mean that?”

“i’ve had this hopeless crush on you for ages, y/n,” joshua confesses. “so yeah, i mean it. it’s the truth.”

“okay, good, because i really like you too,” your face breaks into a huge smile. “and i don’t want you to think that it��s only because of what just happened. i’ve liked you since the time you sat down next to me during our ‘history of music’ lecture and asked me to be your partner for the project.”

“that’s almost two years ago,” joshua’s mouth widens with surprise. “we’ve liked each other for that long?”

“god, we’re idiots,” you laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “come to think of it, if you hadn’t sent me the wrong link, how many years would we spend pining for each other?”

joshua’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink as embarrassment creeps up on him. “don’t remind me of that. i’m going to be scared of sending someone the wrong link for the rest of my life now.”

“at least it had a good outcome for us,” you shrug jokingly, and joshua’s laugh sounds like music itself.

later on, long after the both of you have showered and cuddled up under your blanket, you’re struck with a ridiculous thought while admiring joshua’s features in the pale moonlight.

“so, now that i’m a special fan, do i get any added benefits from ShuaTalks?”

“darling, i just gave you a live demo of my audios. are you already that desperate for another round?”

“we’ve got to make up for lost time, don’t we?”

“maybe after my early morning class tomorrow.”

“sure, party pooper.”

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[enchantressiren]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐀 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥.❞

Who has their eye on you? (Very detailed)

Masterlist.

Author's note,

I would appreciate if everyone read this -> Boundaries.

Divider.

Pile I.

If you’re into men, then this pile is for you. If not, you picked the wrong pile (an intuitive disclaimer).

There is a tall man who makes sure he takes care of himself and always eyes your body like eye candy. Their smell is rich, it makes your nostril flare up slightly, aching to be beneath him and allowing him to stuff you full. This man knows how to draw you in and likes to play coy around you. Possibility of him manifesting you as their specific person with one sided love (on his side), or you both are manifesting each other unaware you both are looking for the same qualities in each other. He is someone who likes to subtly touch you and apologize gracefully for others when you know damn well he is bullshitting. He is someone who focuses on being the best version of himself for the wealth that streams from his wallet. Meaning, it does not matter who you are, he is going to do everything in his power to take what is his. Even if that means it is you and your private parts.

Some of you actually have already had sex with him and have made him your friend with benefits, or you have somewhat of a situationship. During sex, they absolutely love to grope your ass, always telling you how perfect it is and how it fits right with his dick. How it thrusts nicely into your ass or pussy (depending on your situation). Or how it feels so warm on the tip of his dick as it hits and molds nicely into your sweet spot. He is the epitome of those mafia stories you see in smut stories or Wattpad stories (but very nicely done stories). He reeks of sexy perfume and dark red, adding a bit of dark blue if he were a color. His aura drags you in, which is how the both of you had sex in the bathroom, somewhere with people, whether it was hidden or risky, or how you both met if you don’t have a specific relationship with them. He is someone who will brag about how good his aftercare is but suck painfully with it and need your guide for it. His ego is through the roof, but you make this bastard soft as a puppy. He is aching to be around you, and when he is, he always struggles to hide his boner, or the bulge in his pants. He loves sucking your juices or will if you do decide to have sex or date him.

If you do decide to date him, the relationship will be gorgeous and surprisingly healthy considering how his mind runs. Or how you have seen him with others, the trope “I hate everyone, and I mean everyone but you and my pet” is really it. Key of advice: make sure to give him a blowjob during angry sex so he can become pudding and pamper you. His last lover never gave him oral, so he has been craving it, but also, it is part of a love language for him.

Masterlist.

Pile II.

It’s not a who, more so a what. Now, I know that sounds confusing, but let me make it clear. Do you speak to deities? Spirits, ghosts, and so forth that are associated with sexual energy? Because that is what I am picking up, and their energy is so soothing that you know you can trust them, and they are there to guide you through your journey. I would not say they are like spirit guides, or part of your ancestral guide, but they are similar to a teacher.

They are eyeing you because they want to protect you and make sure you follow their teachings. A lot of you are becoming impatient with your future spouse, lover, fwb, etc., coming to you and assuming every person that feels ‘’right’’ to you, or that you connect well with, is your lover/situationship. None of them that are coming are yours; you are supposed to meet them, and that is what they told you, so listen to them. They are meant to help you despite what others have said about them. Some of the people that you have spoken to were into this and have told you not to trust them because of what they are and the stories about them, but from an energy perspective, they are trustworthy and actually adore you. Now, I am always hesitant to talk about deity energy since I don’t know if the pile you are reading is actually for you or not, but I will give you signs that may help:

Lucifer, Lilith, Nyx, Athena, Zeus, Tlazolteotl, sponge it up, something to do with pain, tears, and breaking his heart, breaking my heart, Apollo is my certain love, and the demons of it’s figure.

Now, if these signs are not fitting with what you have seen, heard, spoken to, etc., then do not trust the deity you speak with. It does not matter if the deity you speak to is not in the sign list, it is only what signs were channeled. and what resonated. And if it does not fit through, please cleanse your energy fast and efficiently since I keep seeing red warning signs and alarms ringing in my head.

Moving on, your deity has spoken to you about the gifts your future person will bring into the relationship, but they have spoken about how you are being ungrateful with the circumstance you have right now. I understand that sometimes trying to figure out who your future person can be draining and exciting, but it can also cause weird paranoia. And that sometimes it feels like those mystery games, but you have to let it go, trust in your deity (and spirit guides for some), and work on yourself. You have to learn to trust your intuition about which deity you speak to, about who you have sex with, and when you masturbate (because intuition tells me you are causing yourself more pain in associating yourself with your trauma kinks/thoughts instead of focusing on what makes you feel good), and ignoring the signs that tell you to leave certain situations surrounding you. Your environment has a lot of toxicity, and you only stay in them so you do not feel lonely, but sometimes it is a good thing to be lonely since you learn a lot about who you are. And that is something you need and what your deities have been telling you. Some of you are ignoring their teachings because you use people to hide away from your pain.

You need to talk to yourself as you would with someone else that you felt close to and get to know yourself as a best friend. Learn to appreciate your behaviors that you find “repulsive,” and understand that it is okay to be different than everyone else. Being different is not repulsive, it is a beautiful and cool thing. Fitting in is what is ruining your relationship with yourself and your future person. So instead of being so impatient about something that can happen within the year, why don’t you use that time to do better for yourself? Because at the end of the day, the only person who is stopping you is you. You are the person who can change your world, even if it is something small. For example, let’s say you are living in a toxic environment, but you have a desire to learn all you can? You can use free resources that allow you to. The internet has the same resources that allow you to learn, you do not need courses to learn or scholarly reports to learn. Everything is available to us now because of how broad the internet is. Now, you could have complained about it, but you did not and decided to do better for yourself and change. One step at something is much better than doing absolutely nothing. Even if you read something for a minute, it can still benefit you.

I felt like something was missing when I was editing your work, but some of you have to understand this fully. You cannot manifest your future person either. Some of you thought about it throughout this pile, and like I mentioned, I understand how desperate you are for love, but this paranoia that is surrounding you and your heart is the problem. I understand that you can manifest anything, and it does not matter how you do it, but you have this belief that it does matter, and you must have emotions in order to manifest. So instead, why don't you have a clear mind and heart for this person, so when you do meet them, you can be better for both yourself and them as well as make it easier for yourself to manifest with a clear conscience? Do not be your own blockage when it comes to this or sabotage yourself through your overwhelming paranoia that surrounds your mind every second of your time.

Masterlist.

Pile III.

Your first kiss back from August when you were either a kid or a teenager. You still keep in touch with them. I wouldn’t say the kiss meant anything between you both, I would say it happened by accident for the both of you until now. Have you noticed their flirty remarks with you, especially when you hang out around others, how they only gaze at you despite others coming to flirt with them, how they pamper you for no reason, or how they are doing it more frequently, how they decided it would be best if they stood next to you where the cars are located rather than the other way around? How they believe it is important for you to suddenly take care of yourself, and though some of you already do, they make it somewhat overbearing, but you push it aside because it is them. Have you also noticed how doting they are with you, how sometimes they coddle you, or how they make sure you have taken your medication when it comes to your body or latest surgery? Have you noticed all of these, or have you been pushing them aside because you would rather stay oblivious instead of admitting your teenage crush has feelings for you, or perhaps has already fallen in love with you? With your ability to be genuine with everyone, with your ability to show people respect and compassion without seeking anything back, with your ability to write efficiently without the need to re-edit your work, with your ability to be smooth when you think you are being geeky and awkward. Have you also noticed how they make somewhat dirty remarks only around you? Have you noticed they do it out of respect for your body and privacy, and yet you still decide to ‘’act’’ oblivious because it is too scary to admit they like you back? The word "back” scares you, it is like your heart is trying to escape, but a strong pull is pushing you back into the same corner. It is not a bad thing to be committed to someone in a relationship, but for you, being stuck in one relationship and not having the ability to explore with others seems suffocating. And for you, all of this stems from trauma, that one memory you are pushing away in hopes it gets pushed away as well.

I am not the person to decide for you whether or not you explore this relationship with them; all I will mention are some things that may change your mind since that is what your heart is begging for you to do. As well as some key things to help you heal.

When things become tough for you, your favorite activity is throwing the relationship away or sabotaging your achievements through disrespecting your honor and then laughing about it. When things become tough, it is easier for you to feel shame or regret rather than deal with the toxicity of your actions. And lastly, when things become tough, it is easier for you to be your own ruthless villain than to take accountability for your wrongdoings. Yet, at the end of the day, there is one person who has always stayed by your side, never changing their mind on who you are because they know how far you can go. They know how much potential you would have if you allowed yourself to deal with your sadness and realize that being sad is not a weakness nor is it a blessing. Our emotions are simply emotions, they come and go. Sometimes they make us realize some things, giving us mental clarity, and other times, they are a reminder of how we feel about the situation, or internally. In short, emotions are subjective and man made, therefore, feeling those emotions should not be the problem when it comes to challenges arising. You should understand that you are the one creating those emotions.

For example, let’s say that I am dealing with a breakup. The usual response would be to cry about it and think about them constantly, be angry and try to seek revenge or be petty, maybe sleep around and brush them out of my mind, etc. But this would stem from how secure I am with who I am and how our relationship was like. Though, if I were secure, then I would understand what had happened, use that sadness as an opportunity to improve, and learn the lessons. Embrace the fond memories, or perhaps use those memories to find someone better for myself. But then again, this is my idea of how a breakup would go if someone was healthy or unhealthy. How do you see it? You have to ask yourself this.

Once you have asked yourself this and finally understood it, ask yourself another question. “Why do I feel the need to distance myself from those that actually care for me? What am I seeking when I do this, and how is it helping me?” Asking this will help you understand if you actually want a relationship in the first place and help trigger those fears in a safe manner instead of you pushing yourself to be someone else when you answer self-aware questions.

Now that you have asked these and fully understood them, allow me to speak about your friend, and then it will be your choice. And if you need to stop this reading and come back after a month, then please read this when you are fully ready.

This person has been by your side when you ruin your past relationships. They are someone who will stop what they are doing to be by your side or help you when your past comes back to you. Sometimes, they will pamper you with fresh fruits or hot meals and hope it can soothe your mind away from those thoughts that have been affecting you lately. They are someone who will soothe your tears with kisses or caress your tears away with pure determination; someone who sees the bright side of things when you think it is better to be realistic and pessimistic. They are someone who texts you faster and makes sure your feelings are taken into consideration, as well as your family (if you are close with them) or your pet that may be sick at the moment, and if not, your pets. They will buy you the things you adore without any expectations or seeking your validation (your exs were like that). They are someone who will be firm with you when you make a mistake but not allow you to walk over them. They are someone who sets boundaries with you and others, and though it does not go well with others, they keep their head high and focus on what is more important to them. They are someone who hates the concept of gossip and makes sure to not engage, and when they are pulled into it, they act oblivious and make sure people see them as ‘dumb’ or ‘silly.’ To them, it is better to be seen as that than engage with something repulsive like that. They are someone who makes sure they uplift people, especially behind their back, and you have seen it multiple times, thus causing your heart to fall for them.

Yeah, you are crushing on them hard since you were young but have been pushing away from your past experiences. Some of you are actually in love with them but keep gaslighting yourselves because it is easier for you. And ironically, ‘Love Someone’ by Lukas Graham popped up. It fits quite well with how they view you and how you view this whole situation. I believe there is nothing else to channel because once you listen to the song, everything will make sense.

Masterlist.

[procyonloser]

Lilith raised an eyebrow at the figure on her doorstep. It was almost certainly Adam, though she'd not seen him in actual eons, and last time she'd laid eyes on him he'd been significantly less clothed. She thought it was odd he was wearing a mask, though it was still fairly easy to tell it was him

"You fucking cursed me, you fucking bitch, I just know it was you, who the fuck else would it be-" Adam ranted at her, and Lilith's mood went from mildly amused to annoyed, and when she got annoyed, her husband picked up on her mood. Within moments, eyes spread across the floor and walls of the mansions entry hall, and Adam flinched backwards, his mask flickering in shock.

"What-" Adam started, distracted by Lucifer's reaction, so he didn't notice Lilith reaching out, her arm and hand growing beastly, sharp, and vicious. She ripped the mask off of his face, cracking it under her grasp. Adam looked much the same as she remembered, though life had clearly worn hard on him, shadows were deep under his eyes, and he had unkempt stubble across his chin.

"Adam." Lilith said, with some bite. In a flash of light and a red feather falling past her face, a hand was on her hip.

"Adam?" Lucifer asked, eyes widening slightly as he looked up at the man. It'd been ten thousand years since they'd seen one another. Lilith and Adam had split, or rather, she'd left him before she'd fallen in love with Lucifer. She knew he blamed Lucifer, but he'd only been a friend to her when she decided on leaving.

Adam looked flushed with embarrassment, and anger, seeing them both together. "You cursed me!"

"I did no such thing." Lilith said simply, rolling her eyes. And he said women were dramatic.

"I've also not cursed anyone, not recently anyway. And not you, Adam. Good to see you again, buddy, how are you hanging in? Enjoying heaven?" Lucifer asked, friendly as always, ignoring the very pointed glare aimed at him.

"Don't fucking talk to me like we're friends." Adam hissed, shoulders hunching up. "...Where... Where is Eve? If it wasn't you, then..."

Lilith and Lucifer exchanged a look. It was exceedingly plausible that Eve cursed Adam, she had a book of curses, she had tattoos that were curses for the weak willed that couldn't even look upon them without breaking out in hives. If anyone cursed Adam, it was Eve.

"We don't know that for certain," Lucifer said, defending his sort of situationship with the other chaotic woman.

"I have a pussy now!" Adam barked, but his face was red and his fists were balled up at his sides.

It was Eve, Lilith thought, and judging by the face Lucifer made, he'd come to the same agreement.

"I'm sorry we can't be of more help to you, but please enjoy your new self." Lilith said smoothly, trying to shut the door on her ex husband, who still looked flustered. "I recommend curling your fingers, instead of just jackhammering them in about five times and considering that foreplay..."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Adam yelped, sticking his hand in between the door and frame. "Can't you do anything?! Lucifer?! Can't you... I don't know, reverse it?"

"And risk pissing off Eve? Haha, no thanks, I may be immortal, but I don't have a death wish." Lucifer laughed at the absurdity of the question. "You can come in and wait for her, though. I'm sure she'll be by soon."

Lilith shot her husband a betrayed look, but Adam instantly looked relieved, and she suspected he wasn't about to go anywhere soon anyway.

And, Adam with a cunt was an interesting conundrum, she thought to herself, very interesting. Maybe Eve knew what she was doing.

[peachhcs]

Idk if you've ever written about this but when samy and will get back together when do they tell their friends? Do they tell Ryan and Gabe immediately or keep it lowkey for a while? How do they react?

oo i don't think i have written about this before. i always started to and then i never finished my drafts so i'm glad someone asked about it to remind me :)

considering they get back together in san jose when samy's there helping settle will in, it's pretty easy for them to keep it on the down low and i think they definitely do for a bit and not tell ryan and gabe and all of them. of course though, ryan and gabe are dying to know if they did get back together because they were all really hoping the trip would the couple work out the last of their differences and finally get back together

au masterlist

as soon as samy sat down gabe and ryan were on her immediately and dying to know what happened in san jose. samy and will were purposefully not saying much because they wanted to ease back into telling their friends that they were back together, but boy, were those two persistent.

she went to go see them in boston one more time before everything swept them up, and neither of them wasted any time sitting her down on the couch to talk. none of the other guys were home and wouldn’t be for at least two hours, so the three had a lot of time to talk.

“sooo..” ryan began, eager and curious because will wasn’t saying much to them over text.

“you guys were so nosy,” samy teased with a small eye roll.

“it’s not nosy if we wanna know,” gabe said and that made the girl raise her eyebrow because she didn’t even know what that meant.

“come on, just tell us,” ryan urged, quite literally on the edge of his seat.

“yes, we got back together,” the brunette finally said which made both of the boys jump up in joy.

“i knew it! i knew it! i knew you’d get back together!” gabe pointed a finger and reveled in predicting that the trip would fix everything.

“how’d it happen? did he talk you up? did you guys have like..make up sex?” the two boys snickered like they were 12 and sharing secrets. samy rolled her eyes again.

“he just..asked me to dinner and i said yes and then we talked some more and then it kind of led to us..kissing back at his place..and yeah..maybe some..other stuff,” the soccer player flushed a deep crimson.

“aww, look at you two go! i knew it’d all work out,” gabe nudged her arm with a smile that his friends were no longer fighting anymore.

“we’re still..working things out but yeah. it feels nice,” samy agreed.

“well, yeah. it’s gonna take awhile to build back up to where you were, but at least it’s a start. you guys know where you stand with one another. i’m happy for you for you guys,” ryan grinned.

“and if he ever pulls that shit again, we’ll knock some sense into him, don’t worry,” gabe added making the girl giggle.

“it’s like i’m happy and scared at the same time, does that make sense? or is that stupid? i’m happy we’re back together, but i guess i’m still scared it’s gonna all fall apart again,” samy bit her lip as her ruminating set in again. she ruminated the entire plane ride back which definitely wasn’t healthy, but she couldn’t really help the other side of the what ifs.

“it’s not stupid. you’re valid for having fears still. he broke your trust and your heart. that’s not something that can just be like forgotten. it’s gonna be a long road, but will really wants this to work again and i know you do too,” ryan quickly reassured and gabe nodded in agreement.

“the whole distance thing literally sucks because it’s like..we spent freshman year in long distance and the summer we get to finally actually be together we break up and now we’re back to doing long distance without any time to like really be together, you know?” now samy was just rambling at this point.

“long distance is not easy, but i also think it helps you both grow as people outside of one another and the relationship. plus, we’re always here too if you need anything. not in michigan, but boston is a lot closer than california and you know we’d drop everything for you if you did need it,” ryan continued and samy’s heart warmed hearing them say that.

“yeah, we got your back, hughesy, don’t worry. and no we’re not just saying this because you’re will’s girlfriend, like we actually mean it. you’re our friend too and we care about you,” gabe said. the youngest hughes flushed and wondered how she met hockey boys like this.

[solarpire]

re: your tags on the poc/character post

I'm sorry but did. we watch the same Arcane

Ok so you've activated my rant card (I mean this with joy, I love talking about this kind of thing and I do enjoy the show they just did like abysmally for representation)

Here is why ekko rings as an empty/token character to me:

1. We get no personal motivations for him. We had three whole episodes of character setup for our characters. By the time we get to progress day, we solidly know what every character is about, and why seven years later they would end up in the places they did. Except for ekko. Sure he lost benzo, but what does that mean? All we ever see from that is him crying with vi. Why is he running the firelights? Did he start this group? What got him passionate enough to start all this? How did he find the tree? Why is he so jaded now? How does he feel about how things went down for vi and powder? Why does he hate jinx? (For those who dont know, that last one was apparently Supposed to be answered, but was among one of the MANY ekko scenes they decided to cut for time.) Genuinely we get better character drive for Marcus. We barely get to know his thoughts on anything, let alone see his downtime. The only exception to that is when hes playing at being someone else in the au episode. Which leads me into my next point-

2. He is always only used as a plot piece for the white characters. We only see him in the au in service of having an au episode, furthering jinxs plotline, and getting his time power in time to kind of help stop victor. In the game he always had it, he would use it as a kid to make dinners with his family last longer, and worked on furthering it when he was older to save his friend, that he ended up not being able to save in the end. That's interesting! That's something for him to have on his own, that's a driving force for why hes doing things. And when this

Is genuinely the best characterization for him? Theres a problem. (He also falls into the black hair tropes of white hair and that specific short dreads with the side shave look to make him look cool, but since the white hair was a problem with the original character design in a load bearing way, and dreads do work for his character I dont necessarily consider them the worst offenses. Can we Please explore some other hair styles though I swear his look is begging for some twists, or maybe some box braids). And otherwise, his screen time is next to nothing. I want to say season one he gets less than ten minutes total. They treat him as if hes a main character to further the plot, but the moment it doesnt matter to the more important main characters hes discarded.

3. He doesnt get to be questioned. Every single character in this show is grey in some way, except for ekko. He is lorded as an absolute moral good by the show, but we dont actually get to see what that means. We barely actually get to know how he feels about shimmer divorced from silco, let alone any of his politics in regard to zauns freedom. Hes put on a pedestal of "the good guy" without actually letting that mean or accomplish anything aside from being something pretty to look at. A token. They almost do better by sevika, if they didnt fully ignore her after the parts they needed her for in the first half of season 2, not let her mourn or even find out about the people she cared about dying, didn't let her participate in the last episode, and then did her the disservice of being the only zaunite voice on the council when it runs on majority vote (I'm sorry there is No fucking way shes rolling over and taking that deal after how much shes devoted to fighting for zaun)

4. HE FUCKING WORKS WITH THE COLONIZER OF ZAUN AS A FRIEND AND MENTOR. HELLO. I have so many problems with how heimerdinger was portrayed as a constant voice of reason, but the fact that in ADDITION to that they make him buddy buddy with ekko? Makes it incredibly clear that they have no fucking idea what they're saying.

All in all, on the surface? Ekkos awesome! Ekko is really cool and fighting for an important cause! But the moment you look past that there is almost nothing to him character wise. And when hes the only black character they use culturally black ties for outside of hair, and the only main black zaunite character? It rubs me wrong.

[buckydeservesthebest]

That's me joining the party late…

I honestly find it unfair how it is that even though both Steve and the rest of the Avengers have shown to have no problem with using violence (which on a large amount of occasions is lethal force) to fight bad guys, when Bucky uses light non-lethal violence in the form of self-defense against a group of armed cops who were sent to mercilessly kill him, he alone is considered violent and “morally questionable” because of it.

I mean, as Luna rightly said, not only was the level of force Steve used to fight the STRIKE team in the elevator basically the same as what Bucky used against the tactical team (Steve crashed Rumlow into the ceiling knocking him out in the process) even with the difference that STRIKE wasn't using lethal force against him. Rather, his form of combat in the Lemurian Star fight was far from non-lethal. In the opening battle of Civil War in Lagos, Steve initiates the fight by crashing a member of Crossbones' team into an armored vehicle in a way that I really doubt he survived. Steve even removes gas mask from one of those guys before knocking him out (this is the only move by Steve that seemed unnecessary to me). Also In CA:TFA, we see Steve throwing a knife at an HYDRA agent who wasn't attacking him, killing him in the process.

Still, as well said in previous posts, I don't consider that this makes Steve less moral, but it shows that he is not a pacifist who doesn't hesitate to use lethal force when the situation calls for it.

We've also seen Natasha strangling people. Clint throwing explosive arrows. Sam launching missiles at point-blank range. And I haven't seen anyone call them morally questionable for it.

In contrast to most heroes, Bucky is one of the most pacifistic and one of the most restrained when it comes to fighting. Bucky is canonically a non-violent person, someone who didn't even voluntarily join the military, but was drafted, unlike Steve. Within the Howlies, his role was primarily as a sniper and not part of the direct action, firing only when enemies approached and put his comrades at risk. His distaste for having to fight was made more than clear in Infinity War, T'Challa himself acknowledged.

Even in TFATWS, he spent the whole time holding back his punches so he wouldn't have to end up killing anyone. In the Madripoor shooting against the bounty hunters, he's the one who looks more frustrated to be in that situation than Sharon and Sam himself. And Bucky only returns fire to cover them, and even then, he doesn't shoot to kill. The first bounty hunter appears to be shot in the arm and not the head. The second one he clearly shoots in the leg and not the head or the chunk again. And the woman who was still attacking them at the end, he throws a pole at her shoulder (one of the least lethal areas) and again, not in the head or the torso. Bucky has excellent marksmanship skills, it would have been very easy for him to shoot to kill, and yet he didn't. In contrast to how Sam fired missiles left and right in the opening aerial fight of the series, blowing up at least 5 helicopters with unconscious people on board.

As Luna and my friend @tragicfantasy-girl rightly said, in the Bucharest fight, even with everything against him, Bucky was doing his best not to kill anyone. Fighting is something he has never enjoyed, the way he says “it always ends up in a fight”, with utter disgust and exhaustion, says it all.

Side note: being hit by a brick may be considered deadly in real life, but this does not apply to fiction. There a person can survive a nuclear explosion if the script says so.

*I wrote a complement to Luna's post, about how not only was Bucky trying to catch the cop who fell over the railings, but that his intention was never actually to throw him in the first place.*

Another thing I think it's important to clarify, is that the cops are not only not bystanders, and I think it's arguable to say that they are also not as “good guys” as it may seem at first glance. As they following an extrajudicial execution mission on a foreign soil, against a man who has not even been proven guilty and was not given a trial is literally illegal as it is a huge violation of his human rights, *and this is something they know very well.*

Not only this, but the very shoot-on-sight order *must* follow a protocol. According to the US Department of Justice, before resorting to lethal force, agents are required to give a verbal warning and ask the target to surrender to authority, something they clearly did not do. The tactical team's performance was at the very least negligent in breaking an important rule. So by this definition they are also committing a crime.

(Had Bucky had the opportunity to have a legal defense, I'm sure both Ross and everyone involved in that order, would have faced a pretty nice indictment that would have possibly revoked them from office...)

And I mean, taking on the tactical team Bucky only acting in self-defense using non-lethal force, that's something that already deserves recognition and says a lot about how good he is, considering the level of danger he was facing.

But fighting for his life by limiting himself to using only non-lethal force was not the only difficulty Bucky was dealing with, but two other factors beyond his control made his situation much more complicated to deal with:

i) By that time, the amount of Bucky's memories and emotions (what makes him himself) were still very small, and the fuzzy state with memory gaps and flashes in his brain makes it difficult for him to control his responses and behaviors to outside stimuli, especially those that are considered dangerous and a threat to him. Bucky was basically a man with general amnesia being driven primarily by his survival instinct.

ii) Extensive brain damage affecting his limbic system, amygdala (which plays a key role in identifying potential threats and triggering appropriate reactions, such as the 'fight or flight' response), frontal lobe, etc. Aggression is one of the most common consequences of brain injury.

(I can't possibly imagine how difficult dealing with all that was for him, and I think it just emphasizes his great moral quality, as well as what a good man he is and always has been.)

And as Luna said again, Bucky later decided to jump several floors to avoid having to face the cops, just as Steve did in the elevator fight. And Bucky also chose to run away from the helicopter fire even though he could have used a gun to shoot it down to defend himself.

The way Bucky has always shown that he dislikes having to get involved in conflict is something that has been consistent throughout the 13 years of his character development.

But, doing a little evil for the sake of the greater good (like terrorizing and committing crimes against that corrupt senator from FATWS) is still doing evil.

@gyokujyn I have to respectfully disagree wholeheartedly with this line. As there is nothing “evil” about the way Bucky turned Senator Atwood, who was literally at the time ordering the death of an innocent man, over to the authorities.

All Bucky did was implant a device that took control of the vehicle and recorded the conversation that incriminated her (that's the evidence he gave the authorities to convict her). Bucky used the device to lock the car doors to prevent both Atwood and her criminal henchman from escaping until the police could arrive and arrest them both. Bucky could have used a more violent approach such as forcibly stopping the vehicle, tying them both up and handing them over to the police, yet he did not, opting for a non-aggressive method.

In TWS, Steve was comfortable with letting Natasha kick the undercover HYDRA agent off the roof of a building as a method of persuasion to get him to cooperate. Which is no more moral than having done it himself. But neither this nor what Bucky did to turn the Senator over to the authorities falls into the category of “doing evil,” because by definition, “doing evil” implies acting with malice, and there is literally no malice in either case.

What Bucky did, if anything, was to do justice by turning a criminal over to the authorities and thus prevent her from continuing to cause evil.

I also have to object to the idea that Bucky's motivations are inward facing and that he doesn't see the overall good of the world like Steve. And is that as tragicfantasy-girl said, Bucky is NOT in the same position as Steve, not only from the point of view that he is not an Avenger or that he is not a hero adored by the world, but for the fact that Bucky does not trust himself, as his biggest fear is that he will end up hurting others.

As TFATWS made clear, and as production confirmed in several interviews, Bucky believes that he is a bad person, and that hurting others is something that is inscribed in his DNA. Of course, we know that this is a bullshit lie, and that it's just the idea that the show's production wanted to sell us on him so as not to disassociate him from the false label of “villain in search of redemption” that Marvel has always subjected him to.

But at the end of the day, although false, this perspective that Bucky has of himself, as well as the guilt he carries, is totally in line with his character, with the naturally peaceful man who just wants to live in peace and who is happy doing farm work and raising goats. The one who is so good-hearted that even though he acknowledges that he had no choice in any of what he was forced to live through, he doesn't feel any less responsible for it, and he's not going to stop fighting to try to make amends for sins that are not his own.

Yet, Bucky has never hesitated to abandon his longed-for peace and go to join the fight for the greater good, not only for his dear friends, but for everyone, for the whole world. Just as he did by joining the Howlies even when he was already experiencing severe PTSD, and despite the constant fear that the risk of being recaptured represented to him. As he did by not hesitating to confront the other Winter Soldiers who posed a global threat. As he did by voluntarily returning to cryostasis until his mind was “reliable” again. As he did when confronting Thanos and his army. And as he did when fighting the Flag Smashers, who as a group of terrorist super soldiers, were also a threat to society.

The difference between Steve and Bucky does not lie in the nature of their motivations, because fighting for the greater good is all the two of them have been trying to do all their lives. The difference lies in the confidence they have in themselves. Steve recognizes himself as a hero and is confident that his hands are the safest to make decisions for the greater good of society. Bucky does not consider himself a hero or someone with the safest hands to be the one to decide about the common good, because he believes himself to be a monster who does not deserve forgiveness for sins he knows are not his own. And yet, even doubting himself, when the world needs him, he never hesitates for a moment to put his life on the line and give his all to protect others. That is something that only a good man with a huge heart, who always fights for something bigger than himself, can do.

"I don't ship T'Challa and Bucky".

Nor do I. You don't have to...

What do all close bonds have to result in ships anyway? There are other kinds of love than romantic/sexual and there are other kinds of bonds.

Why can't two characters have close emotional bonds without being romantically in love with each other? I say they can! I say we need more extremely close platonic/sibling- like relationships which do not involve who wants to sleep with whom.

Lol, sorry I am ranting. I love how you never pass up on a chance to shit on TFatWS though. It deserves it. Someone even theorized that the reason the scenes with the Wakandans are framed like that in the series is to insinuate Bucky betrayed them.

He would *never* have betrayed them. Bucky is not a betrayer. i'm not saying that to woobify him or because he's without flaw, but its just not in his nature to betray or backstab people. He's a protector by nature like you suggested. Not if he's able to exercize free choice and consent anyway. What he did as the Winter Soldier.. well can that even be counted as betrayal when it wasn't done of his free consent or choice?

Which all goes to show how little the writers of that series understood Bucky/just literally wanted to undermine and subvert everything about his established personality and nature. Why don't the writers just go ahead an kill him off already? Permanently this time. They clearly couldn't care less about his character at this point so they might as well. Just at least give him a heroic death....

Yeah, honestly Bucky breaking Zemo out isn’t my gripe, it’s that he’s not given a justification that matches his character. Say if the super soldiers were a threat to Wakanda, or even a direct threat to Sam (instead of them just doing their own thing and it’s really Sam and Bucky trying to stop their quest to provide vaccines for the refugees), and Zemo was once working closely with Nagel and had a direct line in, I would think that might be sufficient justification for Bucky to break Zemo out. As it stands it’s like three degrees of separation and it made no sense for Bucky to go that far, for something that had minimal returns.

I heard that Cap 4 will contain a scene where Isaiah becomes “possessed” in the manner of a brainwashed Winter Soldier and fights against Sam. I would be interested to see whether they treat that as Isaiah’s fault and something he needs to make amends for, or as something beyond his control and the fault of the person who controlled him — as it should be. Although, if they take the correct stance, given the writer is Spellman, I would question that divergent treatment of two similar characters. 

There is a subsection of series fans who believe any direct acknowledgment of Bucky’s extensive trauma or purporting he is a man with strong moral goodness is woobification. Pointing out that he is a good man who would not fucking do that is not what woobification is about.

I think there’s also a subsection of fans who prefer to characterise Bucky as morally ambiguous. It’s not the characterisation I see from movie canon, and I think it’s more in keeping with the comics Bucky who’s a very different character.

[theravequeen]

Sometimes I wonder if people find me annoying and if I should stop replying to my mutuals/friends posts

Like maybe every time they see a notification from me they just silently beg "ugh, Raven, just shut up already"

But im sure it's all in my head right haha

[sonknuxadow]

theres multiple reasons i dont like s/urgeamy but one of the things ive seen people do with it that annoys me a bit is the idea that surge and kit are going to become good because surge is gonna fall in love with amy and thats gonna be her only motivation to change.. and im sorry but am i the only one who thinks it would suck so bad for such fun antagonists to instantly switch sides just because one of them was "fixed" by romance and no other reason

[phagodyke]

dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....

[13eyond13]

.

[thats-how-i-like-it]

/ vent

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

head in my hands im trying to come up w prinzhes headcanons but i literally cannot because prinz is like. a pink and less tragic and less headache-inducing version of tesilid.

they're both very gentlemanly, they both can fight, if someone is unfair to them they're more likely to smile and try to smooth it over than to fight back. if hestio is going to find prinz attractive then he'd have found tesilid attractive too, but if he isn't nursing a massive crush on tesilid by the time he meets prinz then it means that tesilid gave him so much blood pressure problems that they're no longer his type.

so anyway in conclusion teshes solos- wait what? how did this turn into teshes propaganda

[diabolicjoy]

.

[jpegcompressor]

btw if i ever disappear for days or weeks on end just know it's me living out my fantasy of disappearing and starting over

[chemicalarospec]

My experience with Hannibal so far:

Jeff the killer: kills people. Mutilates and eats them too.

Me: Yeah that's alright with me (skipping the eye gore tho)

Jeff the evil liar: evilly lies to someone about the cause of their psychosis

Me: I Am Not Okay With This

[mrsbarnesblog]

the "it" couple

masterlist

requests are open

summary: you and Rafe being the hottest couple on the island

word count: 1.3k.

warnings: established relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of nude pictures, Rafe is reader's first everything, you're both lovesick

a/n: my obsession with soft and painfully in love Rafe is not curable at this point. but like could you imagine having him all to yourself?? ughhh the things i'd let him do to me😩

Everyone knew that there are couples that, at first glance, give you the impression that they just have really good sex. Like they are so hot and perfectly compliment each other, with a certain vibe oozing out of them, especially when they are together. 

You and Rafe were that couple. 

Before you started dating, no one ever considered that two polar opposites like you might even coexist. You were a kook, but still completely different from Rafe and his little gang. You were pretty, but more on the quiet side, never showing off or bothering anybody.

Rafe, on the other hand, was mean and sarcastic to everyone and everything. It was a good thing that you put him in his place the first time he talked to you, making it clear that you are not having his shit. And also making Rafe instantly interested and following you like a puppy.

You were annoyingly teasing and flirting with each other, and everyone tried not to get involved in whatever was going on. It was your first experience with a guy, because before that, nobody was really making their shots, or, at least, you never paid enough attention to notice it, choosing to focus on yourself. But with Rafe, it felt fun and so damn easy. 

Your first kiss set everything in its place because you finally gave in to your hidden emotions. It made sense why you were always arguing and pestering each other—you simply craved attention from one another and it was the easiest way to get it. 

Surprisingly, Rafe’s rough edges softened, especially around you, and he was so affectionate and craved you around him 24/7. Though, knowing that you’ve never been in relationships before, he never pushed you to do anything, just following your pace. 

But after your first time happened in the third month of dating, after the ice melted and your insecurities fully disappeared, Rafe almost got another version of his girlfriend. 

If he thought that you couldn’t be better, then he was wrong. 

He never understood his friends who said that they had to almost beg their girlfriends to have sex, mostly because Rafe had never been in actual relationships before. But it made even less sense for him because you, seemingly, had the same energy and high sex drive as him. 

The first few times may have been slightly awkward with you still learning and trying to understand your own body, but once you got confident, you became unstoppable. 

Whether it was early morning, the middle of the day, or way past your bedtime, you were ready to have sex right away, straddling Rafe's legs or luring him into a kiss while your hands slipped under his pants.  

It was crazy how much you both wanted each other. It was a perfect fucking match to have someone with exactly the same needs. You probably have been bent over every single flat surface in the house and not a single room was safe from the two of you. He wanted you all to himself and he could go hours just worshiping your body and fucking you into bliss. 

You were almost glued together, never coming to an event alone. Rafe was so obsessed with the way you looked, with your smell, and with the feeling of your skin on his, so he always had to touch you one way or another. His friends teased him that he was absolutely pussy whipped for you and he had never denied it. They also started calling you Mrs. Cameron because you acted like a married couple and neither of you were against that nickname.

To say more, the idea of that made Rafe so feral for you, so he didn’t let you get out of bed the following day. Not that you complained, though.

Rafe loved sneaking out with you. Whenever you two had to visit a gala with your families, he always snatched you from the main room to drag you to the bathroom or another hidden place to have a quickie or to burry his head under your dress because you were too hot to resist. Yeah, maybe other people noticed it, giving you their usual politely awkward smiles, but neither of you care. 

On his birthday, you gave him the best fucking gift, which was a stack of your naked polaroid pictures. You were really nervous to do that, thinking that Rafe might react differently, but he reminded you once again why he was your perfect match. After looking through the photos several times, he literally attacked you, throwing you back on the bed and giving you the best orgasms of your life. 

Since that day, one of the less explicit pictures of your ass has been placed in his wallet.

You were officially the “it” couple on the island, with everyone either admiring or being jealous of that spark, which never seemed to diminish. Everyone saw the way the Rafe Cameron gave you heart eyes, soft smiles and gentle kisses. The way he held you close to himself, protecting you, taking care of you, and treating you like a queen.

Some people told you that it was only the excitement of a new relationship, but after a few years of dating, with a promise ring on your finger, it was still there. You still craved each other's touch; you still craved being together whenever it was possible, always going on dates and trips, attending all of Kook’s events, but mostly spending lazy days in your shared house. Sex was even better than before—more passionate, fun, hot and full of unconditional love.

Despite the gossip on the island, Rafe didn't get “bored” of you. No, over time, he became addicted to you because you felt like home, and there was nothing better than being with you. 

He didn't need any other women. And he still couldn't grasp the idea of cheating. If he had you, then why on earth would he do that? Every time he came home, the best person in the world and the best sex of his life were in that exact location, so he never complained about anything.

You were his afrodisiac and whether you were in full glam, in a bikini on the beach or in his old t-shirt with messy hair, he couldn’t just keep his hands to himself and not kiss the air out of you. 

He liked how you stayed at home, doing whatever you wanted and treating yourself while he worked. You always greeted him with homemade food, but more importantly, you acted as if you had not seen him in months.

You were waiting on the porch or finishing up in the kitchen, but when you saw him, you ran and jumped into his arms and pulled him into a kiss. It always melted Rafe’s worries and bad mood away, as his shoulders sagged in relief from being in your arms again. 

You always ended up in your bedroom, with you on or under him, while your hands were tugging at each other’s clothes. Rafe knew that it would eventually end up with him finally putting a baby in you—something that more and more flooded his mind—but for the foreseeable future, he first had to officially make you his Mrs. Cameron.

And the red box with the big ass diamond ring, which was currently sitting in the drawer, was just waiting for the perfect moment.