#but without the childhood friends to lovers aspect. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hiraethwrote · 1 month ago

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THE HEART GROWS FONDER

pairing : kento nanami x f!reader summary : (requested) — kento nanami loved you before he even knew you, and his feelings were the one thing he never questioned. like pieces of a puzzle, you fit together. whatever happens, your feelings never waver. cw : childhood friends to lovers, reader is v emotional, canon events/jjk0 spoilers, mentions of character death, mutual and intense pining, miscommunication lack of communication, mild one-bed-trope?, platonic!satoru (bc apparently i am unable to write anything without mentioning him), light profanity, pet names, talk of wedding, sweet fluff, a good chunk of angst, slight jealousy, no use of y/n word count : 10.1 k

Kento was a knowledgeable man.

He knew how long it took to get from one place in Tokyo to another, no matter what time of day it was. Well aware of all the best routes for traveling the city most efficiently, even during rush hours.

He knew all the ways to make the most money. Not what he was proudest of, but working hard had garnered him a set of useful skills that made him a good employee, a real asset to the company.

He knew how to read a map, a skill long forgotten by most in this day and age. Should he ever find himself in a situation where there was no reception, he would be able to get his hands on a sheet displaying the nearby areas and figure out how to return to civilisation.

He knew how to best take care of his body. He had done extensive research to make sure he moved his body correctly during workouts to not harm himself. He wasn’t interested in aching joints when he was old and gray.

And he knew he loved you — since the very first moment his eyes landed on you all those years ago.

He remembered the exact moment in excruciating detail as well, like how he had turned a little scared at the unfamiliar sensation of a racing heartbeat. When pressing his hand to his chest, he felt the rapid thumping. He quickly realised it was caused by the sight of you when it happened every time he spotted you.

His dad would tease him whenever he caught Kento sitting in the windowsill, chubby cheeks resting on his forearms as he gazed lovingly towards the little girl playing in her front yard a few houses down. “I’m sure she would love to play with you.” His face would turn bright crimson, a colour that had become all too common in the Nanami household whenever you were brought up, before an embarrassed Kento would stomp up to his room.

He didn’t learn your name until the first day of school — your parents had arranged for the two of you to walk to school together. He had been over the moon when he heard the news, pure excitement filling his body to the point where he could not sit still. But the moment he was stood in front of you, your voice sweet as honey when introducing yourself, his throat dried out and he turned tongue tied. His mom placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing his feet back on the ground, “Kento,” he croaked weakly before disappearing into his jacket.

With small feet carrying you to and from school, you tried to force a conversation out of him but to no prevail. He remained shy and quiet, eventually resulting in a statement that had saddened him more than he could have anticipated; “you don’t talk much, do you?”

There had been no ill intent in your words, but it had Kento distance himself from you. What was supposed to blossom into a friendship (and maybe even more with time), only simmered down to him consistently trialing five steps behind you on the path to school that became all too bleak when it hadn’t turned out how he had imagined it.

His infatuation didn’t seem to disappear anytime soon either. If anything, now having the opportunity to observe you in closer proximity only deepened his feelings. He now got to witness the outgoing and bubbly personality that was wrapped in your cute exterior, exceeding all his expectations of what he had imagined you would be like — fascinated by how you seemed to excel in aspects where he lacked.

And the more time that passed, it seemed the day he would find the courage to catch up and walk along side you traveled further out of his reach.

He continued to admire from afar, watching as you earned yourselves new friendships as easily as putting your shoes on in the morning. Kento wasn’t the only one drawn to your outgoing personality and charming smile, his heart breaking a little when you formed a tight knit friend group and he didn’t get to be a part of it.

That’s how it went. Kento sort of just blended into the background, never making a number of himself. He was nearly certain no one really knew he even existed at all (except the teachers, who absolutely adored him). Day after day, he sat by himself with a book in his hands, only ever looking up to admire you for a few seconds as you would play with your friends.

However, he preferred the quiet life in school more than what it evolved into as second grade rolled around.

During recess, he would sit with his book, same as always, counting the minutes until school was over so he would walk those five familiar steps behind you — that’s when two third graders had approached him, their intention clear as day.

Their antics continued for two weeks — until what he thought was the voice of an angel interrupted.

“Hi there.”

Kento would recognise that voice anywhere, turning towards the source to see you, huge grin plastered on your face, both hands behind your back as you stared down the two third graders.

“What’s going on here?” You asked in such a sweet and innocent tone, but all three of the boys could see there was something borderline unfriendly in your eyes that was not present in your words.

“Doesn’t concern you,” one of the mean kids bit back.

“Hmm,” you hummed, pressing your lips together before shifting to a serious tone. “I think it does, because from over there-“ you pointed in the direction of where you had stood moments earlier, “it looked like you were picking on my friend.”

Friend? Had he heard you right?

Before they could retaliate, you had already opened your mouth again, “I’ll scream! The adults will come and you’ll be in biiiig trouble!” Your tone had been so cheerful, but that same threatening intent lingered in your gaze — a look one did not want to receive from a stubborn, little seven year old.

It seemed like your scare tactic worked, because after grumbling to themselves for a few seconds, they shuffled away with their tails between their legs. And once they were far enough away not to be a bother anymore, you squatted down on the gravel beside Kento, wrapping your arms around your legs.

“You okay, Kento?” Completely transformed, not a hint of your malice present any longer, just soft and genuine concern when speaking his name.

He blinked a few times, using the back of his hand to dry the few tears that had watered up in the corner of his eyes before he answered you. “‘M fine,” he sniffled, then daring to look you in the eyes to mutter a shy “thank you.”

“Anytime.”

You couldn’t explain why you had decided to interfere — because labelling Kento a friend wasn’t entirely true. The boy had barely said a word to you for the year you had known him, but you had just been filled with anger when you witnessed the older kids choose to pick on him. He did not have a mean bone in his body. And maybe somewhere along the line, you had gained a soft spot for the reserved kid, having not been able to stop glancing over your shoulder from time to time when you walked to and from school, just to make sure he was still there.

Never had Kento imagined that the taunting from his upperclassman would be his biggest blessing to date. He no longer sat alone during lunch, but instead accepted your invite to eat with you and your little clique.

And finally your friendship with Kento had the opportunity to grow.

Thanks to you, school had become a lot more enjoyable for him after that. The walks to and from school was no longer spent with an awkward distance, now matching your pace as you both indulged in small talk from the moment you left school until he left you at your door.

He knew he should have been satisfied, and in one way he was. He was finally allowed to call you his friend after all, but during school hours, you usually hung out the entire group. And on your spare time, you had a tendency to reserve your time just for the girls. So while he wished for more, he continued to shoot longing, and not so subtle, gazes across the table.

It abruptly changed when you were thirteen, walking home from school like any other day, when your blunt question had cut through the conversation.

“Hey, you want to go to the movies with me?”

“What?” Kento’s thirteen year old brain had not been able to comprehend the question, stopping dead in his tracks to stare at you with big eyes, swallowing the massive lump in his throat. Had you just asked him on a date?

You stopped when you noticed he did, staring right back at him like this wasn’t a big deal. “None of the girls were interested, and you’re the only boy in our group I can tolerate without any of the girls,” you rolled your eyes. You had turned a little feisty when entering your teens.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said, drawing his lips into an awkward line, hoping he could play it off as a smile.

Your deadpanned expression immediately twisted into one of pure joy. “Great!”

Kento had stood in front of his mirror all afternoon, using both his hands to smoothen the crinkles of his shirt, treating it very much like a date. He didn’t even realise how long he had been stressing in his room until his mom came knocking, telling him you were waiting outside.

He had been a little disappointed when he saw you, because it became very evident you did not consider it a date. Wearing the same outfit you had worn to school that day, resting on the handlebars of your bike. “C’mon, we need to get popcorn before the movie starts,” you nagged, just the tiniest bit annoyed.

When stood in the kiosk, he had offered to pay for the popcorn, like the good, little gentleman he had been raised to be. “Oh, no need. Mom gave me money to pay for it,” you said cheerfully with a shrug and a smile. “Thanks, though.”

The movie couldn’t hold Kento’s attention, even if he wanted to, because for the whole ninety minutes you had your knee rested against his. The sensation of the shy touch of your leg had his heart beat so loud against his ribcage, he was scared you might turn to him and tell it to shush so you could hear the movie.

It wasn’t much, but the pressing feeling was definitely prominent enough that you had to be aware of it too. And in his mind, it seemed only logical you kept your leg still against his because you wanted it to touch him. But whenever he flickered his eyes over to you, you seemed utterly unbothered, attention fixated on the screen as your hand continued to grab popcorn from the bucket.

He tried to keep his breath even, letting his tension spill out by clenching and unclenching his fists. He was so determined to sit completely still, scared the tiniest flinch would cause you to shift your leg away from him.

Trips to the movies, just in each other’s company, became a regular occurrence after that. And about half of the time, you let him pay… only because you paid the other half, but he let himself wallow in the idea that he was treating you for the evening.

He was in high school when one of your friends had asked about it. “What’s really going on there, Kento?”

He had immediately decided to play dumb. Not because he was embarrassed, but if there was even the slightest chance it would feed them material they could use to make you uncomfortable, he wanted to avoid it. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, man,” he laughed mockingly. “You and her,” nodding towards where you stood with your girlfriends in the cafeteria line. “The two of you hang out with each other more than us these days.”

“I don’t know, we’re friends?” Kento shrugged, almost certain he was able to play it off as casual.

“Friends? Right, friends who constantly go on movie dates together.”

“They’re not dates,” was all he had been able to say to defend himself, feeling his cheeks grow hot like they had done when he was younger.

They had all chucked at him then. “Yeah, whatever man. Congratulations bagging the prettiest girl in school,” was the last thing that was said before you and the rest of the girls joined their table. You sat down beside Kento, like always.

Carefully, you had nudged his arm to get his attention. “You okay?” You asked quietly so only he could hear.

He gave you a weak but genuine smile. “Yes, just lost in thought is all.” You smiled back at him, making his heart skip a beat.

You don’t remember when it changed for you. If it had been a gradual thing, or if you had just woken up one day with this feeling — but something was definitely different.

The realisation had hit you mid sentence. Rambling on about some meaningless topic, like you always did, and suddenly you noticed the way he was looking at you.

He was listening so intently, not missing a single word coming from your mouth, a faint smile stamped at the corner of his lips and a tenderness in his eyes you hadn’t really noticed before. You only managed to snap out of it when he spoke your name.

“Am I losing you by not talking?” He teased before taking a sip out of his coffee.

“Shit,” you muttered, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “I just remembered this group assignment I have due tomorrow.” A lie — and an obvious one at that. But Kento didn’t get a moment to ask any follow-up questions before you had gathered your stuff and rushed to say goodbye, leaving him alone in the cafe.

For the entire walk home, you thought about Kento, now suddenly in a new light, reflecting over the entirety of your friendship.

You became aware of how he always seemed to prioritise you in the group without hesitation. You had just brushed it off, assuming he felt indebted to you for coming to his rescue when you were seven. But you realised now how ridiculous that sounded.

You thought of all the times he had come running when you had asked for him. Whether it was after a fight with one of your girlfriends, or a date that had gone horribly wrong, he dropped everything to be by your side.

You realised now why you always caught yourself answering with a frown when girls came to ask you about him. As you had gotten older, he had definitely grown into his looks, a subtle kind of handsome that snuck up on you.

When you got home, you had pulled out your phone to send a text to apologise for bailing so abruptly. But you typed and deleted the message twenty times over, anxiety you had never felt about him before overwhelming you. In the end, you ended up not sending anything at all, feeling like no words sufficed.

And the next time you met, you acted as if nothing had happened, and he just went along with it.

You tried desperately to act as if nothing had changed, beyond terrified you would scare him off or make him uncomfortable if he picked up on your new and revolutionary feelings for him. If there was one thing you were absolute certain about, it was that you would never do anything to jeopardise the friendship you had with him. There was no competition of what person in your life you cherished the most; Kento Nanami. You’d be the earth's biggest fool to gamble that away for anything.

When you were 16, you nearly caved.

In your desperate attempt of keeping things normal, you had continued your meaningless escapades — which meant going on terrible dates with even more terrible guys — turns out teenage boys are just assholes by default.

“It’s their loss,” Kento cooed in a warm tone, sitting beside you on your bed with a comforting arm around your shoulders.

In all honesty, you didn’t even care all that much about the date. You couldn’t even remember the guy’s name. No, your mind was way more interested in how his strong hand cupped your arm so perfectly.

You turned to look at him, faces closer than ever before. He happily held your gaze — you were just hoping he was able to read the messages it conveyed.

Tell me to stop seeing these guys, and I’ll stop.

Tell me you want me the way I want you.

Tell me it’s you I’m meant to be with.

“You’ll find someone worthy of you eventually.”

Your heart sunk, having built up your own expectations based on how his eyes had roamed your face as if he truly desired you. Maybe this was all in your head.

It wasn’t.

But Kento, much like you, didn’t want to lose you over anything. Confessing risked the relationship he already had with you. He would rather have you as a friend, than not have you in his life at all.

Not long after that, you both joined Jujutsu tech. Slowly but surely, you slipped away from your childhood group — him more than you. You tried your very best to stay in touch, though your new schedule made that hard.

With these new threats looming around you, neither of you could help how your friendship — or whatever you would call what was going on between you — continued to grow deeper. More serious. It went unsaid by the both of you, but there was just a mutual understanding that it was the logical development when there was the slightest possibility of it ending all too soon.

Still neither of you confessed.

You fell into routines, so accustomed to seeing him every minute of every day, your first instinct when returning from a mission was to find him.

As expected, Kento heard the three soft knocks he knew all too well at this point, before you squeezed through his door. With a deep exhale, you fell back on his bed, while he sat in his desk chair, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m exhausted.”

“Did you just get back?” His muscles were a little tense, like they always where whenever you had to go on a mission without him, his eyes searching every inch of you to see if there were any visible injuries he had to worry about.

“Little over an hour ago. Had to escape Gojo talking my ear off about his own mission.”

Kento observed how the corner of your lips tugged upwards in a tired smile, your chest vibrating with a soft chuckle.

He was always happy to see you come back unharmed, but he hated the exhaustion that rested in your joints — and it filled him with an unexplainable urge to help you somehow.

He imagined guiding you to lay on your stomach, placing his legs on each side of you and slowly soothing your muscles, rubbing caring motions along the curves of your body to fill it with the relaxation you deserved — but he couldn’t. It would definitely cross a line, too intimate for just friends.

“Glad you’re back,” he said almost in a whisper.

“Me too.” He could barely hear you, the mission slowly catching up with your energy as well, sensing on your breathing that you weren’t too far from falling asleep.

The silence that surrounded you was comfortable. You had grown so accustomed to each other’s presence, any awkwardness had ceased to exist. Nevertheless, Kento didn’t quite know what to do with himself, just looking at you sprawled out on his bed, a scene he would like to see every night.

“Kento?” Your voice was so soft.

“Yes?”

“Can I stay here tonight?”

He heard the slight hesitation in your voice before you expressed your request. Raising up his neck and face was a burning heat, his breathing coming out shallow as he didn’t quite know what to say.

Being a cautious man, he thought of every possible outcome.

It was prohibited, so he should decline. But he would hate himself forever if he simply sent you away because of the school’s outdated rules — he also knew he would regret it until his heart stopped beating.

So having you stay here was the only reasonable outcome — but then what? He supposed he would end up sleeping on the floor, like the gentleman he was. He would at least never assume he could sleep next to you, and he would not be as vulgar to ask.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “Of course. I’ll just-“

“Kento,” you said his name again, just as soft as always.

“Yeah?”

“There’s room for both of us on the bed.”

He had to swallow the massive lump that felt as if it was suffocating him. It at least stopped any further words to come out of his mouth. He slowly raised from the chair, floorboards creaking as he stepped over.

With his eyes locked on you, seemingly so calm with your eyes closed, he positioned himself beside you so he was facing you.

Goosebumps prickled up his arm when he felt your breath fan against his face, and he wondered how you managed to keep it in such an even rhythm. Didn’t this closeness send lightning through your body like it did for him, temptation threatening the act of finally crossing the line?

There was a crease between your eyebrows that seemed unintentional, like the events of the day had just planted themselves on your face and even your calm breathing couldn’t ease it. Against his better judgment, Kento’s urges steered his thumb towards your face, not reflecting over his action before he had ran his skin across the crinkle to smoothen the tension.

Shit, he thought to himself, certain you would open your mouth to tell him off — instead he saw how there had been a slight strain to your shoulders that was now released.

While he let his eyes roam your face, taking in every breathtaking aspect of your beauty, he felt a small spark of fear fill him at how right it all felt — lying next to you, so close he could feel the warmth radiate from your skin, his soft touch being able to bring rest to your body, the mere idea that he could envelop you in his arms if he wanted to.

“I’m happy you’re here with me,” your voice startled him a little, as he had assumed you had already fallen into the oblivion of sleep. “I’d never be able to navigate this world without you.”

“That’s not true.” Your eyes opened to meet his, catching his breath immediately, so stunningly deep he always felt himself fall into them. “You’ve always been the one looking out for me.”

You chuckled a little at that, endless memories of the two of you throughout childhood. “I guess in one way. But you’ve always kept me afloat.”

“You give yourself too little credit.” He had to stop himself from letting his fingers graze your cheek in the most tender caress. “You would have done just fine on your own.”

A small smile of flattery dared dance on your lips. “But I don’t want to.” It felt like a confession, unspoken feelings hidden within those words, begging for him to be able to deduce the true meaning. “Thinking of a life where you’re not at my side scares me.”

“Let’s never find out what that life is like.”

Kento would later eat those words.

Haibara’s death hit Kento the hardest. Numerous evenings were spent in the eerie silence of his cold dorm. When he cried, you held him. When he was trying to distract himself by reading, you sat and watched him, keeping him company. When he went the entire night without sparing you the slightest gaze, you knew you had overstayed your welcome, leaving him to be alone for a night.

“I don’t think I will continue to be a sorcerer.”

That was the first thing he said that hadn’t been a complete necessity, and it sent a spike of ice down your spine, not daring to understand his statement right away.

“Oh,” was the only thing you could think of to respond that did not entertain his idea.

His eyes met yours, the eye contact more intense than it had been for days, realising just how much you had missed having his kind eyes directed at you. Seemed like he felt it too, as the smallest gasp slipped out of him.

“I mean it.”

The tears instantly burned in your eyes, blinking them away before they had the chance to come running. “That's what scares me,” your voice betrayed you as the usual confidence came out cracked.

He didn’t push it any further, reading you as an open book — you knew he was telling the truth, but refused to acknowledge it. It was like if you ignored his statement, it would somehow end differently.

Luckily, after that night, Kento started to somewhat fall back to his old self. His smile started to return, it was easier to hold a conversation with him, which you obviously appreciated — however, he had planted a fear in you that had taken your body hostage.

You abandoned any sense of boundaries entirely, hanging onto his arm at all times. It was only when you were physically aware of his frame you were able to cling onto a string of peace. Feeling his body glued at your side only served as a confirmation that he was still here, and as long as you held on he couldn’t go anywhere. He couldn’t leave.

And whenever you had to pry yourself off of him to tend to your responsibilities where he wasn’t assigned, you were constantly living in a state of anxiety. Foot tapping against the floor, picking at your skin, petrified you would end up returning to see his room stripped of any signs of life — that he would have finally done the thing he said he would do, and part with the Jujutsu world.

Every time you returned, the sweetest sensation of relief washed over you, tears welling up immediately when he always stood ready to greet you. “Hey you,” he said softly, pulling you into his arms, holding you tight until he could physically feel your body let go of the stress that had tainted every muscle, every joint, for the entire time you had been separated.

But graduation day came and time was up.

You had held onto hope he would eventually change his mind, that it was only the initial grief that had weighed heavy on his conscience. But you were now standing in his bare room, everything packed into cardboard boxes. Of course it had only been a childish dream to think he would stay — there was no changing his mind.

“I really am sorry.” He was so earnest, like always, making it hard to be mad at him even though you so desperately wanted to. He genuinely had so much compassion, his hands stroking your arms in an attempt to calm the bouncing of your shoulders that followed the frantic rhythm of your sobs.

“I just don’t understand why?” You continued to sob, sentence coming out in sad intervals as you heaved for air.

“This isn’t right. It’s not right of them to expect us to be okay with watching our partners lay down their lives like this.”

You wanted so badly to scream at him, bang your fists against his chest before clasping onto his shirt so he wouldn’t even have the opportunity to leave. You knew it was unwarranted for you to feel that way, but the fact that he was following through with his stunt felt like a betrayal.

“You said we weren’t going to find out what this would be like.”

His heart shattered. Looking into your doe eyes, tainted red with sorrow as the sentence laced with innocence sent him back to every fragile evening throughout your journey together he had spent comforting you. How many tears he had dried, happily so? But this time it was his doing — him who brought you to a state of despair so grave you couldn’t breathe, and he knew this time he wouldn’t be able to comfort you.

Waiting for his next words were torture, time at a standstill watching his mouth open and close while he constructed the sentence in his mind. Though useless, the glimmer of hope refused to die out, begging for his surrender — you’re right, I’ll stay.

“I’m sorry.”

Another one of your earth shattering sobs came flying past your lips, stabbing him right in the heart that had only ever beaten for you.

Comforting you would always be second nature to him, which had his hands cup your face and pulling it closer to rest his forehead against yours. He wished, begged, for his touch to bring you comfort one last time before he left. But your body continued to shake. “It’ll be okay,” he tried to reassure you, spoken in a faint whisper. Repeating it over and over, waiting for his small affirmations to take affect — they never did.

Ask me to come with you.

Those six words played like a broken record in your mind, knowing you would pack your bags and abandon this god forsaken life at the drop of a hat if he just asked you to.

Come with me.

The request laid restless at the tip of his tongue, fighting every voice in him that was screaming at him to be selfish. But he couldn’t with you, never with you.

Unlike him, you had a purpose in this world — you were able to see the good in what you did, and he would never be able to forgive himself if he ripped you away from it no matter how much he wanted to.

There seemed like there was no limit to your tears. Shuddering against his touch, he sensed your body didn’t have much energy left to stand. He ended up leading the two of you to his bed, stripped bare to just the mattress, duvet folded at the end. Without any words spoken, you laid down in his arms, burying your face in his chest while the sobs continued to tumble out uncontrollably.

His strong arms locked around you, holding you as close to him as humanly possible, letting the illusion of him never disappearing from you live on for another night.

Eventually your sobs calmed down, only happening sporadically. The shaking stopped and he felt your breathing even out, telling him you had finally been able to let sleep consume you.

He couldn’t stop himself — placing a chaste kiss at the crown of your head, mumbling quiet and secret apologies before sleep caught him too.

According to Gojo, his departure had been quick. He hadn’t said much, just given them all a nod before grabbing his bags and disappearing.

You had decided against seeing him off. The two of you had said your goodbyes the night before in the solemn of his empty dorm. It had been wet, heartbreaking and nothing short of painful, but at least it had been private between the two of you. No one knew how your tears had soaked his shirt, or how your fists had created crinkles in the fabric while desperately holding onto him. No one knew how you had cried until the exhaustion knocked you out in his arms, so scared to wake up to face the new reality where Kento wasn’t at your immediate side like he had been since you were kids.

You couldn’t really remember what it was like to not have him there. Even before you had grown close, he had always lingered, the one thing in your life that had stayed consistent throughout it all was him.

The next weeks were absolutely torture, having to feed the people surrounding you endless lies of “I’m fine, really.” You were really just trying to prevent yourself from letting the reality set in properly. If that can of worms were to open again, you had no clue when or how you would be able to stop it. Last time you had still been able to seek some comfort against his warmth, only able to stop it because you practically passed out.

Not a single moment passed where he didn’t cross your mind, small things reminding you of him. All your little routines — for days you forgot to grab lunch because you were so used to him bringing it to you. For days you ended up with one towel too many, because you always brought an extra for him after training. Mundane things you had always taken for granted, gone in an instant.

Despite feeling a little betrayed, you couldn’t really blame him either. So you reached deep within yourself to try and stay positive. It wasn’t like he was gone gone, he had just retreated to a normal life.

You stayed in touch, sending regular updates about how you were getting by in the world of curses without him — lying of course. When he had left, he had taken some of the purpose you had in it all with him. But you didn’t want him to worry. You told him how you eventually started teaching at Jujutsu High alongside Gojo, and it felt nice to be responsible for the next generation of sorcerers.

And at first you received regular updates in return. He got himself a quaint little apartment that fitted his needs perfectly. You even got a few blurry photos of how he had tried to decorate it so it would feel more homely — you had cried when you received those.

You never called each other though. It seemed like there was a mutual understanding that it would be too unbearable to hear the voice of the other.

After a while, the updates slowly came to a halt. You kept on sending yours however, only for that little checkmark to appear and confirm he had read it. But no answer — you cried then too.

Had you said something or done something to make him cut the contact? You never managed to wrap your head around why he stopped showing you his new life.

Kento had never wanted to stop sending the messages — on the contrary. If anything, he had to stop himself from not telling you about every single minute of his day, even the most meaningless things, just as an excuse to talk to you.

But one day, thanks to a white haired little birdie, all consuming guilt had struck him. “She doesn’t say it, but she’s miserable.”

He held his breath, his fingers unintentionally clenching tighter around his phone. “She is?” His voice came out faint. He heard Gojo let out a deep sigh at the other end of the line.

“She tries. Very hard. I stopped asking a long time ago because she kept lying anyways.”

“Oh.” Kento had been a fool, believing your words when he had read them on his screen. When he hadn’t been able to hear the tone behind the statements, he had been able to convince himself they were genuine. But of course you were lying — he was, after all.

“But I think she really enjoys teaching,” Gojo said after a moment of sad silence, trying to fill the conversation with some optimism. “And the kids love her.”

“Yes, I can imagine as much,” a small smile appearing on his lips, picturing the scene of you with the young students.

“Look, I have to run, she’s waving me over. Should I-“

“No!” Kento rushed to cut him off. “No, don’t say anything. Please.”

He made up his mind then and there — he was not going to cause you any more pain. So he had to let you go entirely to allow you to move on. The way he was selfishly clinging onto the crumps you gave him seemed to do you no good, if the image Gojo painted was accurate.

So he stopped. Even though his fingers urged to reach out, he fought against it, for you.

You, however, could not hinder how your finger pressed the send button every now and then. The updates definitely became less frequent when he went radio silent, but you did not have the strength to stop. If you stopped… there was a fear he would never come back.

Kento was supposed to share his life with you.

He had believed so ever since he was a little kid, ogling you from afar before he even knew your name. The way you made his heart jump and pulse quicken had to be his body’s way of telling him you were meant to be with him, quickly growing addicted, dependent, on the reactions you created in him without trying.

But he had made the drastic choice of abandoning that feeling, convinced the alternative did you harm — and the mere concept of being the reason you even felt the faintest glimmer of discomfort was something he could not live with.

He welcomed the misery, a small price to pay for the belief that you were doing better now. He also thought he had good reason to believe that was the case.

The updates you sent him were few and far between these days, but it did paint a picture. You were rarely in the photos, but there was an energy present in the moments eternalised that seemed pleasant and positive. He imagined you had found your role, your place in life where you would get to fulfil your potential. And whether or not he was there was irrelevant.

He convinced himself his own insecurities were a reality to make it easier to bear.

Ever since childhood, you had been the headstrong one. The independent one. The brave one. It always lingered in the back of his mind whenever he just observed you in different scenarios — that it really didn’t matter if he was there or not, forever just an accessory to your life. He even feared he was holding you back somehow.

So it was only reasonable to think time away from him would have provided you with the playing field to develop into the best version of yourself… right?

Years went by and Kento’s pain didn’t ease. He missed you — every single day. And he kept living in that constant state of torture for you, until the fantasy shattered.

It was just another day, nothing out of the ordinary. Kento was going about his drowsy routines of stopping by the same bakery he did every morning before work. However today, he was nearly tackled by two kids, a boy and a girl about the age of six, once he entered the building.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” a grown woman rushed over to apologise as she brought the children back to their little table.

“It’s no problem,” he mumbled monotonously, eyes following them as they scattered back to their seats, where another woman sat.

A wave of nostalgia crashed over him, feeling like he had the privilege of looking back in time. The little boy resembled a young Kento Nanami, his blonde locks neatly styled, chubby, red cheeks and a baby-blue button up shirt — a rather mature attire for a six year old.

And the boy had his eyes glued on his friend, a girl the same age, very evidently the more outgoing out of the two. She was rambling enthusiastically, arms waving all over the place as he told her story down to the smallest detail, exhibiting the same spark you always had.

The boy kept a glare of pure awe as he followed her every word, seen so clearly in his eyes how much he admired her. And Kento knew how this story would continue — that night the boy would lay in his bed, the biggest smile on his face, unable to fall asleep as the day spent with his friend would play on repeat in his mind — much like Kento had spent countless nights when he was young.

It wasn’t until the girl behind the counter called for him he was able to pull his attention away from the all too familiar scene.

So polite, a sweet smile on her face as she served him the same thing he ordered every day. And then she asked how he was sleeping. It fascinated him, how this girl didn’t owe him anything, and had her own worries — like the little curse sat on her shoulder — and still showed concern for him.

He had noticed the curse before, but purposely never done anything about it. It wasn’t a proper threat, and it would be more of a hustle for him to deal with the reactions of ridding her of it than let it be. But now, having the innocent scene a few feet from him remind him of you, he quickly began to consider doing the girl a favour.

You would have exorcised it — without hesitation.

Not just that, you would probably give him crap for not exorcising it immediately. It wouldn't cost him anything to do it, so why wouldn’t he?

“Could you take a step forward, please?” Kento asked politely, the girl a little confused but doing as he said. He had your voice in the back of his mind while he easily exorcised the curse with one swift motion, the strain in her shoulder easing immediately.

“Huh? It’s lighter!” She exclaimed, rolling her arm around at the newfound relief.

“If anything still feels off, please go to the hospital,” he said with a small nod. He grabbed his food and headed for the exit, sparing one last glance at the table where the two kids sat, still deep in the conversation.

His lungs let out a deep, involuntary breath when the realisation dawned on him — he could no longer stay away, caving to his desires.

Maybe enough time had passed for it not to be considered selfish? If you had in fact found your place where you were content and comfortable, and meeting him again would be causal for you?

The questions kept circulating his mind as he pulled out his phone to dial the one person who would be able to set it all up at the blink of an eye.

His whole world stopped when he saw you, and he wondered how he had ever thought it a good idea to leave you — how could he possibly have survived all that time without you?

It was almost painful how his heart was clawing at the inside of his chest, desperate to be with you. It wasn’t until he felt the overwhelming pounding he realised his heart had not beat properly for the years he had spent away — meant to beat in unison with yours. His skin was turning cold as ice and the only way for it to regain its warmth was your touch, your soft embrace.

Kento hadn’t known what to expect when he saw you again, but he had certainly thought he would have more rational and coherent thoughts. Right now, it was all scrambling in his head and the only thing that appeared clearly in his mind was you, framed in the halo of your aura, taking his breath as way just as easily as when he was six.

With his body going numb, he observed you interact with Gojo and two kids he assumed were your students. You looked calm, a small smile decorating the plump line of your lips — it wasn’t as radiant as it used to be. In fact, your entire energy just seemed a little off. Maybe you had just gotten home from a mission, or it has been a hectic day in general.

Truth was not so mundane. You wished it was as simple as a long and tiring day. That would mean you could just jump in bed and sleep it off, ready to face a new day tomorrow.

But the day Kento left the jujutsu society behind, he unintentionally stole your spark with him.

You could never hate him for it though, he didn’t know. He only did what he felt like he needed to do, and you would be a terrible friend to stand in the way of that. But you had no control over how your mind decided to react.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder was something you had always heard growing up, and you had never really understood it — until faced with the situation yourself.

Not a day went by where you didn’t think of Kento. You thought of how his grin always grew slowly when watching you, eventually revealing the shy smile lines across his cheeks. The ghost of his touch, which was always dancing the line of appropriate or not, never leaving your mind. Sometimes you still felt the imprint of his arms around you.

“Don’t you guys listen to him for a second,” you chuckled, the tiniest hint of frustration in your voice. “Gojo doesn’t qualify as a responsible adult.”

His jaw fell to the ground in fake offence, eyebrows narrowing at the innocent laughs spilling from the students. “You were never this mean when we were younger,” he whined, folding his arms across his chest, looking like a stubborn child.

“That’s what you think,” you teased, nudging an elbow into his side. “You should have heard the things we said about you behind closed doors.”

His big hand came piercing through the air, pressing it against your face, gently shoving you away from the conversation. A lighthearted, but genuine, little laugh escaped you. “We don’t want to hear what you and your little boyfriend did in private,” Gojo rolled his eyes, pretending to gag at the made up memories.

Annoying as he was, Gojo had a way to actually make you forget the pain of it all for a few seconds. You would never tell him, obviously, that he managed to put the storm inside your head on hold for a second — he would rub it in your face every chance he got.

“Wait, senpai had a boyfriend when she attended here?” One of the students interjected and suddenly the mood of the conversation shifted. Gojo’s hand fell from your face before he shot you an apologetic smile.

For the most part, it was never a problem whenever Kento was brought up in the company of Gojo and Shoko. Everything was out in the open between the three of you, shared history taking away some of the pain. But whenever it slipped outside your little trio, it quickly became a sore topic.

Mouth opening and closing, trying to find the words to answer without having to give an explanation. Luckily, a painfully familiar voice called your name behind you, instantly sending a shiver down your spine.

All of you turned towards the voice, and you couldn’t help but let out an audible gasp at the beautiful image of your other half standing in front of you after all these years.

Your heart’s instinct steered your body, quickly stepping away from the group and latching your arms around Kento’s neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He didn’t hesitate to close his strong arms around your frame, fitting right into the slots they used to fill. His familiar scent filled your senses, memories flooding back in an instant.

“Huh, speak of the devil,” Gojo mumbled.

“Him? That was her boyfriend?”

Gojo quickly snapped out of it. “Let’s give them some privacy, shall we,” and started rushing away the nosy teens.

Kento’s grip loosened and you pulled away, but neither of you dared let your hands leave each other. Your own hands ended up cupping his face, forcing him to keep his eyes on you until it hit you he was actually with you again — he let his rest on your waist, feeling the restlessness in him by how strongly his palms were pressing against you.

He was here. He was actually here.

There was a deafening silence filling the space of your office. You could feel it in the tension that both of you wanted to say something, but there was an unspoken pressure of saying the right thing.

So you let your eyes roam him, taking in the differences in his appearance.

He was gorgeous, same subtle handsomeness as he had always possessed, but a new confidence displaying it. Everything about him was more defined, sharp features drawing attention to his face, his muscles filling his shirt in a way they never did before.

“So, you and Gojo seem to work well together,” he swallowed, causing embarrassment to flush your face when he pulled you from your blatant admiring.

“We’ve found a rhythm that works for us, I suppose,” you shrugged.

He shifted awkwardly in his seat, arms flexing as he crossed them in front of him. “That’s good. I’m glad.” His tone of his short statements seemed to imply otherwise.

“He’s surprisingly good at his job,” you laughed, “the kids like him.”

“Who would have thought,” there was a pull of his lips, like he tried to smile but it didn’t succeed entirely.

“Not me, that’s for sure. I don’t know, he just meets them were their at.” You really wanted to stop rambling about Gojo. It was so clearly just a desperate way for you to replace the quiet that plagued you without touching the elephant in the room. “Don’t get me wrong, they find him insufferable, but I think they secretly really like him. Much like the rest of us.”

“Sounds about right.”

You squinted at him, slowly growing somewhat antsy. “You’re not jealous of Gojo, are you?”

Of course you still saw right through him. He, who usually managed to hide his true feelings, would never be able to conceal them from you. And he was jealous, petrified that he had made the biggest mistake of his life and Gojo had ended up taking the place that was supposed to be for him only.

“Is there something to be jealous of?”

“You tell me.”

The tension was thick, nearly suffocating, years of yearning and pining fuelling the energy. The reunion only served as a dangerous spark that threatened to set the fuse ablaze at any second.

Why couldn’t he take the first step? He was the one who had showed up all of a sudden, and he still hadn’t given you any explanation. He owed you that much, right? But he kept letting his restlessness control him, one leg bouncing quietly against the floor, hearing how the cogs in his mind were turning.

“Why are you here?”

Your words were soft, but Kento knew you well enough to know the true feelings that lingered in the question.

“I’m coming back.”

“You’re coming back?” You weren’t able to withhold the bite that was slowly making its way into your tone.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Don’t do that,” your voice threatened to crack. “I don’t want that responsibility.”

He sighed deeply, unfolding his arms to rest his elbows on his spread knees. “That wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry.”

Always so polite. Always acknowledging his faults before they had the opportunity to grow. Always so damn righteous.

“What I meant to say is it looks like you’ve really managed to establish yourself here, and I wouldn’t want to come in and cause any discomfort by intruding what is essentially your space.”

The sound that escaped you next was a mixture between a flat laugh and a scoff, not entirely appreciating the way he was behaving. “Have we been apart so long you can’t talk to me like I’m your best friend?”

That had him look up at you, meeting your eyes instantly. You were sad, visible on your entire demeanour — maybe not to the average person looking, but he saw, still able to read you like an open book.

“Hope not,” he tried to smile, lips formed into a tight line that exposed how nervous he really was. His attention shifted to look at his fists folded together, words resting on his tongue, he just wanted to be sure it came out right. “I’ve missed you.” Silence. “There hasn’t been a day where you haven’t crossed my mind.”

“Sounds familiar.” There was no hiding the flush crawling up his neck and colouring the tips of his ears red at the sound of your confession.

“It was the thought of you that finally convinced me.”

“Why now?”

“Because enough time should have passed for you to thrive without me.”

“If that’s the case, you’ll have to keep waiting.”

You had him gagged, no clue how to respond. For some reason, he had refused to believe you were still hung up on him the way he was. There weren’t any reason for you to hold onto the idea of him — yet you had, for dear life.

Abruptly you stood up from your chair, hands running through your hair in frustration, trying to make sense of his sudden visit.

You stopped in your pacing, back faced him and hands on your hips — then he saw your shoulders begin to shake, followed by stifled sobs. These were the situations he always used to know what to do, moving on autopilot to bring you the comfort you needed.

Did his hands remember how to soothe you? Did his voice still know how to form the right words to say? Did his presence still know how to envelope you until you felt happy again? There was only one way to find out.

Quickly stepping over to you, his hands hovered over your shoulders for a second in fear. He swallowed his selfishness and let them land to settle the bouncing, leaning his head forward to rest it against the back of yours, the smell of your shampoo surrounding him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and it only seemed like his apology opened the valve, no longer able to choke your sobs. Your hands left your hips to cover your face, muffling the sadness tumbling out in one stream.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he continued to mutter, head moving to press it to the side of your face. One hand traveled across your collarbone, the other around your waist to pull you as close to him as possible, determined to hold you there until he was absolutely certain you were okay.

He would stand there the whole night if he needed to.

Slowly but surely, your sobs came to a stop, your trembling eventually easing against his body. But he didn’t loosen his grip, not until he felt you shift in his arms to face him.

Cry painted cheeks, delicate red rim around your eyes, glossy irises that stared right into the deepest parts of him that only you had access to.

Everything started to fall back into place, his big hand cupping your cheek as he stroked your hair out of your face. He let his eyes dart delicately across your face, taking in every single detail.

Then he let his longing get the best of him, thumb graciously tracing your bottom lip turned swollen from when you tried to swallow your sobs.

There was slight hesitation while he leaned forward, never having experienced time moving as slow as you waited for his lips to connect with yours. First, he let his nose brush against yours, testing the waters.

Please.

You felt his breath.

Don’t make me wait any longer.

Sparks.

Soft lips pressed against yours, moving tenderly in unison that sent intense sparks through your body from head to toe. The moment easily surpassed any of the fantasies you’d had of kissing him.

Needy fingers traveled up his broad chest before hooking your arms around his neck, pulling him closer — it still didn’t feel close enough.

Kento poured everything he had always wanted to say into the kiss — and he knew you understood. If he had learned anything from everything you had been through together, it was he could always trust you were able to understand him completely, even without anything being said.

When you pulled away you found yourself breathless. Meeting his eyes again, unexpected shyness you weren’t used to experience with Kento had you hide your face in his chest.

The roles had reversed, his warm chuckle serving as a comforting blanket. Oh, how you had missed that melody.

“Took you long enough,” you mumbled, hoping the teasing would have your normal confidence return.

His finger found your chin to tilt your head up, capturing your gaze. “Yeah, I should have done it ages ago.”

The previous sadness still lingered, and it was evident you still had a lot to talk about. But right now it was nice to just wallow in his presence again. It was way overdue, feeling like it should have been like this since forever.

“I really am sorry.”

“I think I can find it in myself to forgive you.” Your innocent jab was received with a dashing smile, tingles spreading throughout your limbs at the sight.

“Hope so, sweetheart,” he breathed quietly before he leaned in again.

They sat staring at each other, Kento with a raised eyebrow while a grumpy Gojo was positioned on the couch opposite him, legs and arms crossed in annoyance.

“You used to be nice.”

Kento scoffed at his colleague’s childish behaviour. “I still am, you’re just upset you’re not getting it your way.”

“But why?” Gojo cried dramatically.

“Why? What do you mean why? Because it’s not your wedding.”

“Were you always this boring?”

“Most definitely.”

“Will you guys please shut up?” You interrupted, unable to ignore them anymore. You had desperately tried to block them out as you were doing some paperwork you should have done ages ago.

“He started it!” Gojo pointed at Kento, which only had him roll his eyes.

“You know what,” you sighed as you gathered your stuff and raised from behind the desk. “It’s with a heavy heart I leave you, but I need to get this done by the end of the day.” You stopped behind Kento, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, honey,” he said genuinely as he gazed up at you lovingly.

“I am not asking for much-“ Gojo continued to argue before you interrupted him.

“Will you pay for it?”

“Is that all it’ll take?” He beamed, and you nodded. “Of course! Done! How much do you need?”

“You’re too lenient when it comes to him,” Kento sighed.

“It’s not the craziest thing he could request. He’ll get his endless supply of sweets, and you won’t have to listen to his obnoxious nagging anymore.”

“I’m sitting right here.” Both you and Kento ignored him.

“I really have to get this work done though,” you sighed, hand squeezing his shoulder.

“See you at home?” His loving smile had you lean down to press your lips tenderly against his.

“See you at home.”

“I’ll have dinner ready.”

“God, I love you.”

Then he flashed you that smile — the smile which was reserved solely as a response whenever you said those three words he used to dream of hearing from you.

It was funny really, how after everything things would turn out exactly how he as always wanted them to. Despite the hopelessness he had felt and all the pain you had endured — both together and apart — would eventually lead up to the happy ending he had dreamed of since the young age of five.

He knew he would do it all over again, in every universe, if it ensured this outcome.

“I love you too.”

tags @sad-darksoul @toadtoru

an anon, i am so sorry if this ended up longer than you wanted it. idk what happened, bc it just kept on snowballing <3 however, i am very touched you wanted me to do this request. warms my heart. hope it turned out okay mwah also, if you've read my satoru childhood friends to lovers fic and see any similarities, no you don't comments and reblogs is much appreciated

#— ଓ my creative corner #dividers by enchanthings #jjk #jjk oneshot #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen oneshot #jujutsu kaisen x reader #kento nanami #kento nanami oneshot #kento nanami x reader #nanami kento #nanami #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami oneshot #jjk kento nanami #jujutsu nanami #kento x reader

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withwritersblock · 4 months ago

Text

Do I Wanna Know?

~Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys~

Author's Note: welp this was a helluva lot longer and smuttier than I wanted but oopsie. Also first time publishing smut so like take it with a grain of salt. As always italics are flashbacks. lowkey may reupload without smut Summary: ig childhood enemies to lovers? Warnings: smut! smut! 18+ please do not read if uncomfortable, swearing Word Count: 10,241 Jack Hughes x fm!reader

It was her favorite and least favorite part of the summer. It was the three weeks during the summer where her parents allowed her to have the lake house to herself. She would invite her closest friends and their boyfriends to spend each day drunk and tanning or getting a sunburn. It was supposed to be the best summer of her life.

Until the Hughes boys next door started doing the same thing, during the same three weeks. She didn’t mind at first, being a single girl, it was always nice to have some gorgeous men to admire. But her friendship, or lack of one, with Jack Hughes was always difficult to enjoy those three weeks.

Her hatred towards Jack started when they were younger. It was the second summer that her family owned the lake house. She was twelve, and Jack was thirteen. It was innocent at the time, at least Jack thought so. He would always throw her into the lake, tease her on every single aspect of her life.

They were sitting on the dock, swinging their legs over the edge. Y/N and her best friend, Chloe, were watching the sunset in their swimsuits. They have yet to meet the boys next door, all of them around their age. Twelve. The middle boy, seemingly the most outgoing compared to the others, began walking towards the entrance to the dock.

“I’m Jack, those are my brothers Quinn and Lukey,” Jack points out both of the boys shyly walking behind them.

“It’s just Luke,” the younger one peeped out. Chloe smiled towards the younger one as she slowly stood up from her seated position. Y/N tilted her head back suspiciously. Why now? Why were they suddenly interested in the two girls?

“Chloe, this is Y/N and that’s her parents' lake house,” Chloe explained as she pointed to the incredibly big lake house. Y/N reluctantly stood up from her seated position as she awkwardly walked beside Chloe.

“Want to go swimming with us?” Jack asked, standing point between his two brothers. Chloe smiled widely, nodding her head as she walked towards the boy.

“We should probably go ask my parents if we can, it’s getting late,” Y/N said while awkwardly crossing her arms over her body. Jack’s eyes widen, a smirk forming on his lips. Y/N dropped her gaze towards her painted toes.

“You need to ask your parents? What are you like four years old? Come on, let’s go,” Jack teased as he began walking towards her and Chloe. Y/N lifted her gaze, furrowing her eyebrows harshly as she scanned his features. He had a wide smile on his lips as if he was up to something.

“No, I just-they like to know where we are,” she offered, swallowing hard. He rolled his eyes as he took a hold of her waist, “What the hell?!” she shouted as he lifted her up in the air and began running off the dock. Luke, Quinn, and Chloe quickly followed them. Jack and Y/N landed hard into the lake, it was cold.

Jack let go as they hit the water, he slowly resurfaced shaking his head. He laughed hard as Y/N resurfaced a few seconds later, a frown on her lips.

“I don’t know you! Why did you do that?!” she shouted towards him, shoving him away from her.

“Because it was funny,” he mumbled, a smirk on his lips as he shifted his gaze towards Quinn. He was not as amused as Jack was. Luke on the other hand was laughing up a storm as he thought it was funny as well.

“Does it look like I’m laughing?!” she groaned as she stared towards him.

“I thought it was funny,” he let out, still grinning. Chloe shyly started to laugh too as she stared towards Y/N angry expression. It was at that moment Chloe knew, a friend group was formed.

She pulled into her parking spot at the house with four of her friends squished into her small car. Chloe was in the passenger seat beside her. Her boyfriend, Jacob, was in the back beside Ollie and Melanie. She pulled her keys from her car and lifted her gaze towards the Hughes house to see a large group of guys sitting on the front steps sipping White Claws.

Her eyes landed on the boy she to this day despised. Every summer she would have to spend every day with him, every second of it she would hold a scowl to her features. She hated him, she hated that he was cocky and confident. She hated that his ego had been boosted by being drafted first overall. She hated that TikTok made him into the white boy of the year. She hated the smirk on his lips, she wanted to smack it right off.

Stepping out of the car, the boys across the house instantly hollered. One boy's voice stood out particularly as he said, “Bout damn time you showed up Sunshine!” Jack called out.

She was sixteen now, four years deep into her hatred towards Jack Hughes. It’s been four years of constant petty arguments, the teasing, the constant feeling of wanting to punch him. She was laying on the dock, a towel beneath her frame as she laid out, feeling the heat from the sun burn her skin.

Chloe was still asleep, as she could sleep forever if she had the chance. It was ten in the morning, the sun was already working hard. She wasn’t looking to tan, but she loved the feeling of the sun on her skin. It was too early for her parents to get out on the boat, so this was the second best option.

She heard footsteps walking towards her, a sigh fell from her lips as she slowly sat up, looking towards who was walking towards her.

Jack was shirtless, approaching her. She rolled her eyes as she laid back down, shutting her eyes. Jack smiled as he sat beside her, crossing his legs as he stared towards the lake, admiring the sun cascading over the water.

“Hey Sunshine,” Jack let out, knowing the nickname would piss her off. He loved making her mad. Ever since that day he tossed her into the lake for the first time, it’s been his goal to make her angry. A groan fell from her lips as she covered the sun from her eyes with her hand.

“Go away,” she mumbled as she moved her hand back to her side. He smiled as he rested his elbows onto his knees. He looked back towards the lake.

“No ones awake yet, who else am I supposed to talk to?” he asked, shifting in his spot slightly.

“That’s not my problem, go away,” she let out as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling. Jack glanced towards her chest, clearing his throat slightly as he dropped his gaze towards his lap.

“But we have such great conversations, Sunshine,” he teased as he bit his bottom lip.

“Stop calling me that,” she said as she sat up on her elbows, meeting his gaze as she squinted from the sun. He smirked as he looked into her eyes. His eyes casually lowered, scanning her frame. Looking at the small beads of sweat on her skin.

“Do you want to go with me to go get breakfast for everyone, Sunshine?” he asked. She huffed, forced out a laugh.

“What makes you think I want to spend any time alone with you?” she questioned. He tilted his head to the side while running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh, I know you do, Sunshine, you haven’t left my side since I sat down,” he teased. She rolled her eyes as she clenched her jaw.

“You are literally the most annoying person on the planet,” she forced out as she stood up from her position, her body completely standing above him, perfectly in his line of sight. He was shamelessly admiring each curve, each gorgeous part of her. “Don’t look at me like that,” she let out as she started walking away, covering her body with the towel.

“You seriously cannot still be mad at me for shoving you into the lake that day,” he expressed as he jogged towards her, she was surprisingly fast.

Stopping dead in her tracks she spun around, facing him. He stumbled back as he wasn’t prepared for her to stop. Her face was scrunched together as she took in a sharp breath. His eyes were staring hard at her glossed lips, craving the taste of her lips.

“Do you really think that’s why I don’t like you? Some stupid childhood argument?”

“I mean yeah, that whole year I just kept doing it,” he said, nearly proud of his behavior. He swallowed hard as he felt his heart beat fast.

“I don’t like you because you’re cocky and rude and think you’re a god just because you’re good at hockey. You think you can do whatever you want because girls think you’re hot!” she shouted towards him, the towel becoming loose on her frame. She pulled it off, scrunching it into a ball in her hands before she slowly started walking backwards away from him.

“Are you one of those girls?” he asked, ignoring everything else that she said. She scoffed while shaking her head. She spun around, meeting his gaze. Her jaw clenched tightly.

“I couldn’t be less attracted to you,” she said as she scanned his features, “I don’t think losers are hot,” she expressed harshly before she walked back down the dock towards her lake house. The towel was still in her hand, giving Jack a full view of her frame. The way her hips swayed back and forth as she walked away from him. He dropped his head, taking in a deep breath.

“Wow,” he mumbled, taking in a deep breath.

She met his gaze, dramatically rolling her eyes as she continued towards the garage. Her four other friends pulled up in two other cars, nearly immediately after it began to open. The two other cars were full to the brim of luggage.

He smiled proudly to himself as he continued watching her. Cole beside him started laughing as he stood up from his seat. “Y/N, do you guys need help bringing the luggage inside?” he shouted. Y/N’s lips curled up into a grin.

“That would be great, Cole!” she shouted back, warmly. Cole chuckled as himself and the rest of the boys jogged the short distance towards the other lake house. Jack stood up and walked towards the two cars, greeting Reagan and Harry as they climbed out of the car.

“Thought you guys couldn’t make it!” Jack said excitedly as he hugged Harry before he hugged Reagan.

“We’re only here for the first week, but it’ll be fun!” Reagan said as she pulled away from Jack. “How’s your shoulder?” she asked as she glanced towards the small scar on his shoulder.

“It’s good, I just have to keep up with my physical therapy while I’m here,” he said softly. Y/N watched from a distance, his tone was soft and kind. Something she’s observed over the last two years. Ever since his little brother joined the league, something about Jack’s attitude has changed.

She swallowed hard as she walked towards the small group. She smiled towards her friends, glanced towards Jack. She quickly hugged Reagan and Harry before she opened the backseat, pulling a suitcase out. “What no hug for me, Sunshine?” he teased as he waited for his turn to take a bag. She placed the suitcase on the ground, pulling the handle up.

“When have I ever hugged you Mr. People pay to see me play?” she said, teasing him right back. His mouth fell open, shocked as he began to chuckle.

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” he let out as he took a hold of a bright blue suitcase. She shook her head as she followed the rest of the friend group inside of her lake house.

Usually on her first day at the house, all of her friends and herself would clean the hell out of the house. Since it has been left untouched for multiple months. She sighed as she excitedly stood in the center of the living room, already anticipating the potential events that may occur.

She sat beside Chole as the NHL draft was beginning. It was obvious in the whole hockey world that Jack was getting drafted first overall. Despite that knowledge, he was still terrified he would fall to a lower draft ranking. But as the New Jersey Devils began to name their selection, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that it was Jack.

As his name was called, his smile was wide. It was a genuine smile, that was never pointed towards Y/N. Her own lips curled upward as she watched him hug his brothers. His younger brother first, and then his older brother. He began walking down the aisle towards the stage.

Sure, she hated him but she’s spent every summer with him for the last six years. It was a great moment to see. She pulled her phone from her pocket, pulling up his contact.

Y/N: Congrats, hotshot, don’t let it go to your head ;)

It took several hours before Jack was able to reply. Being drafted first overall came with a lot of media. He laughed out loud as he saw the text message.

Jack: Don’t worry Sunshine, it already has

It took a few minutes before she replied.

Y/N: You’re going to be even more unbearable this summer aren’t you?

Jack: Are you kidding? I’m a delight

Y/N: Goodbyeee Jack

Jack: So you agree?

She watched as Luke placed her bright pink suitcase down onto the ground, it was one of two suitcases that she brought with her for the vacation. “Thanks Lukey,” she mumbled as she took a hold of it and began walking towards her bedroom. She rested it onto her bed, a small smile on her lips. She began unzipping it.

Herself and this specific group of friends already have a routine that they have. Everyone instantly unpacks and begins cleaning so they can start drinking by five. It’s worked for the last two years. She began pulling her swimsuits out first as she began to find the pairs first before she shoved them into the dresser.

Spinning around, she finds Jack leaning against the door. “Oh my god,” she let out fast. She planted a hand against her chest. He dropped his head while laughing.

“I’m sorry,” he let out as he took a step inside of the bedroom. Glancing down towards his feet for a brief second before he awkwardly pulled up his swim trunks. “Is Parker joining you guys later tonight?” Jack asked, swallowing hard.

It was weird for her group to arrive first for the three week vacation. But it was the summer after Jack’s rookie year. So the boys were all traveling from everywhere. They were arriving later in the night. But it was nice for Y/N to enjoy several hours with Parker. Her boyfriend for the last six months. He was great, kind, too nice for his own good.

Her friend group was all laying in the living room, tipsy already from day drinking. Reagan and Harry were asleep on top of each other on the couch. Chloe and Jacob were whispering to one another as they were switching from their heads resting on each other’s shoulders. Ollie and Melanie were gone, probably off in their bedroom together. Brandon and Sasha were in the kitchen making more drinks for themselves. Y/N was sitting in Parker’s lap as she was applying aloe to his bright red cheeks.

“I told you to sunscreen, Baby,” she whispered as she slowly ran her fingertips along his cheeks, he winced as the gel was cold on his skin.

“I thought I could handle it,” he whispered jokingly. She rolled her eyes playfully as she heard the front door being pulled open. She didn’t intentionally forget to tell Parker about the pack of boys that would be joining them in the summer. It was so normal for the six of the guys to be next door that she forgot it may not be for Parker. He furrowed his eyebrows, taking a grip of her thighs protectively as he watched all six of the guys enter the house.

“Sunshine! Why are you guys not on the boat drunk already! You know that’s how this works!” Jack shouted. He stopped short seeing Y/N sitting in Parker’s lap. His eyes widened slightly as he scanned the sleepy couples around them all. “You guys pregame too hard?” he further pressed.

“Who’s this guy?” Parker asked, delicately shoving Y/N off of his lap. She plopped down beside him, resting her hand onto his thigh.

“Jack, Quinn, Luke, Trevor, Cole, and Dylan,” she said quietly as she pointed to each boy. Jack smirked as he met Parker’s gaze. “Boys, this is Parker, my boyfriend,” she said as she slowly stood up, suddenly self conscious of the bikini covering her frame. Parker stood up and rested a protective hand on her hip.

Quinn shoves past Jack, becoming front and center, “Nice to meet you, man. The house next door is ours, and those three are our friends,” Quinn explained, at first pointing to himself and his brothers before he pointed to their friends. Parker nodded slightly, looking back towards Jack before he shook Quinn’s hand.

“So you all will be here for the whole time we’re here?” Parker asked. Quinn nodded. “Great,” Parker expressed sarcastically as he forced a smile onto his lips. “Let’s get to drinking again, shall we Babe?” he asked as he forced his gaze towards Y/N. She forced a smile on her lips as she nodded towards him.

~~~

She was laying on the beanbag in the basement of the Hughes lake house. Parker was playing pool with a few of the other boys. Y/N was drunk as she was scrolling through her Instagram feed for the fifteenth time that night as she kept seeing the same pictures over and over again.

Jack was not in the current game as he sat down beside Y/N. She groaned as she dropped her phone beside her head, “What, Hotshot?” she questioned as she shifted her drunken gaze towards him. He smirked as he took a deep breath.

“I’m a washed up draft pick remember?” he said as he brought the beer bottle towards his lips. “Not a hotshot anymore,” he mumbled. She gasped drunkenly as she smacked her hand against his thigh. It was barely a tap but his attention fully switched over to Y/N.

“Don’t say that,” she scolded as she sat up. Her eyes widened as she blinked slowly, trying to regain her balance. Despite her not even moving in the process.

“It’s a transition into the b-best league in the world, Jack, you’re a kid playin’ against like-what- thirty year olds? You’re still a hotshot, Hotshot. You’ll f-find your way back,” she explained. Jack smiled as he met her gaze. His lips fell into a pout as he admired her eyes.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Y/N,” he mumbled, a genuine soft smile formed on his lips as he scooted towards her subconsciously.

“What, no Sunshine?” she asked, as she scanned his features. Was he always this pretty? She found herself thinking.

“You miss it?” he teased. She laughed while she leaned back into the beanbag.

“A little,” she mumbled. He laughed as he shook his head. Parker watched the interaction from afar, Jack met Parker’s gaze. He cleared his throat as he shifted his gaze back down towards his lap.

Parker leaned down and hit the 8-ball into the pocket he needed to, ending the game. The boys cheer. “Y/N’s falling asleep over there, I’m gonna take her to bed,” he mumbled, politely smiling towards the small group of guys. He walked towards Jack and Y/N.

Without looking towards Jack, he reached down, taking a hold of Y/N’s waist, “Come on, beautiful, let’s get you to bed,” he whispered. She hummed as she rested her head onto his shoulder as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Parker took a hold of her thighs as he carried her up the stairs out of the Hughes’s basement.

Jack watched as the pair left the basement, he leaned his head against the beanbag as he began peeling at the wet label of the beer in his hand. His heart fluttered as the words Y/N said circled his mind. He’s heard those words a thousand times but something about it coming from her felt different. She hated him and he knew that but she still felt that he could be a success. He sighed as the boys shouted towards him to join in on the next round.

“We broke up a few months ago,” she let out sadly as she opened the drawer as she tossed her bikinis inside. His eyes widened.

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Sunshine. You guys were good together,” he mumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“It’s weird not having him here. It was the new normal, you know?” she explained, her voice cracking in the process. He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. If he was being honest, he wished he hated the guy but he was impossible to hate. He was genuinely the nicest guy he’s ever met. He was convinced they were going to end up married. “Our lives just went separate ways, that’s all.” She said not-so-convincingly

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he let out while he smiled sadly.

“Yeah me too, I have to hang out with you six for the whole three weeks. I’m not third wheeling any of them,” she lightened the subject. He barked out a laugh.

“It is not that bad, Y/N,” he mumbled as Trevor stepped into the bedroom.

“Harry said you and Parks broke up?” Trevor asked, shocked to say the least. She simply nodded. “Damn, I’m sorry, Y/N. He was awesome,” Trevor mumbled before he walked out of the room.

She scoffed, a laugh leaving her throat. Jack furrowed his eyebrows as he stepped towards her, kicking the door shut with his foot, “What really happened with you two?” Jack asked in a hushed tone.

She laughed dryly as she wiped a sudden tear on her cheek, “Like I would tell you, Jack,” she muttered as she shook her head.

He clenched his jaw as he rolled his eyes. “Come on, Y/N, didn’t we bury this years ago?”

“I have been nothing but nice to you all summer and you still treat me like I’m an asshole!” Jack shouted as he tossed his hands to the side, “I’ve apologized for every dumbass thing I’ve done over the years, but you still treat me like dirt, Sunshine!”

“See that! That right there is why I am still pissed at you and I still don’t like you! You act like years of teasing and making fun of me will just go away because you apologized!” She took a small step towards him. He took in a shaky breath as he scanned her fuming features. “An-And stop calling me Sunshine! I know it’s because you think I’m a buzzkill! It’s not funny, it’s not cute! I’m over it!”

“What do you want me to do?! If endless apologizes won’t help you like me then what would you like me to do then?! I can get on my knees-” he spoke, getting on his knees, “I’ll beg! I’ll do whatever you want, Sun-Y/N,”

“Get up! Why do you want me to like you so much? We’ve spent nine years hating each other. Why do we need to start being friends?” she let out, staring down towards him. His eyes were soft yet, the smirk on his lips was full of anger. He stood up, meeting her gaze, they were standing near inches away from one another.

“I never hated you, Y/N. That was all you. I like making you mad. You’re really hot when you yell at me. What can I say?” he mumbled, a dry laugh leaving his lips. He took a step back. His eyes widened slightly as he finally processed the words that left his lips. He took a shaky breath as he looked deeply into her eyes. “I think-” he took a deep breath, “I think you like it when I piss you off, Sunshine, you get all hot and bothered with it too,”

She felt like her heart was beating so hard it would break out of her chest. “I don’t-get hot and bothered with it. I get angry. You are the most infuriating person I have ever met!” she expressed, her gaze slowly dipping down to his lips. He was right, he did make her entire body hot and needy for his touch.

“You are the most exhausting person I have ever met,” he let out, his gaze on her lips too.

“You better start liking me before you cheat on your boyfriend with me. I really like the guy. I don’t want to do that to him,” he rested his hand onto her hip, gripping it somewhat tightly. “You can’t pretend you don’t like the way I make you feel,” he whispered into her ear before he began walking away.

“I don’t! I would never cheat on Parker. Let alone cheat on him with you!” she shouted out. She was grateful that everyone had gone grocery shopping, leaving the pair alone. Jack and Y/N were the only ones still asleep when everyone else left.

“Then you better start liking me because the longer you hate me the more you want me,” he let out, winking before he walked out of her living room. She scoffed as she stared towards the door that he walked out of.

He was right. Damnit, he was right.

“Barely, that was like our worst argument ever,” she expressed, a chuckle leaving her lips. She sat on the end of her bed, leaning slightly into her suitcase. Jack followed in pursuit, sitting beside her. Their knees were touching.

“You stopped hating me, so it worked,” he whispered. She turned her head, met his gaze, smiling softly.

“I still don’t like you,” she countered, raising her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes playfully.

“What happened with Parks?” he switched the subject, his tone genuine as he pressed his lips together. She continued looking into his eyes, he was being kind.

Sure, she hasn’t fully hated him in years. But she still didn’t want to be comforted by him, he was the last person who she would go to about things. She took a deep breath as she brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face.

“I found out he had another girlfriend,” she mumbled. Jack’s eyes widened as his mouth fell open. “His work trips were really trips to go visit her,”

“That fucking dick,” Jack let out while shaking his head.

“I’m just glad I never followed through moving in with him,” she let out as she turned her gaze towards her hands. Her freshly manicured hands for the vacation. They were red.

“Here I was thinking you two would end up engaged soon. Idiot,” he said while he took a deep breath. She rolled her eyes as she laughed. “I’m serious, I swore you two were end game,” he expressed. She stood up, a small smirk on her lips as she pulled the door open. She leaned her head against the door as she stared towards Jack.

“Can you leave my room so I can unpack and clean, please?” He stared towards her suspiciously before he began walking out of the door. Stopping short, only a few inches away from her face. “I’ll see you later, Hotshot,” she mumbled. He rolled his eyes playfully before he walked out of the room, leaving her alone.

~~~

It had been several hours since the house was cleaned, it was well into the night. Everyone was sitting together around the fire pit. Quinn was in charge of the fire. Y/N sat alone, on the blanket she had set up for herself. She sat with her legs crossed as she sipped on the seltzer Quinn had bought the group.

It was definitely the most lonely she has felt in months. Watching each of her closest friends sit together close and coupley. She missed that feeling, but the memories were tampered with the knowledge that it was all a lie. She pouted as she stared towards the orange glow.

“Sunshine, you gonna share or am I gonna have to get my ass wet on the grass?” Jack asked as he returned with a beer bottle in his hand as Cole was walking towards his usual seat. She rolled her eyes as she scooted away from the center of the blanket to allow him to sit down beside her. He grunted as he scooted closer to her, their shoulders bumping into one another.

He leaned his head towards her, his lips nearly touching her ear, “You feeling better?” his voice sent shivers down her spine. She tilted her head, meeting his gaze. Their lips are only a few inches apart. She simply nodded. He hummed as he pulled his head back.

“What’s so secretive?” Trevor teased as he leaned his elbows onto his thighs. His voice grasped the attention of everyone surrounding the firepit. Jack glanced towards Y/N before he shifted his gaze towards Trevor.

She took a deep breath as she forced a smile onto her face. Tilting her head to the side, “You know how you guys think Parker is this amazing guy?” she began, she was drunk; probably the most drunk she’s been at the lake house in years. The boys all collectively shared awkward glances. “He had another girlfriend! He was fully dating someone else the entire relationship, but he had a problem with Jack and I!” she barked out a laugh.

Jack shifted his gaze towards Y/N, his face full of confusion. She rolled her eyes as she took a shaky breath. “He thought that I was cheating on him with Jack!”

“Like we would have sex,” she said while pointing between herself and Jack. Her laughter soon stopped with the memory of their last argument floating through her mind. “But nope, he was so self-conscious because he was the one cheating. So Trevor, that’s what’s so secretive,”

“He thought we were having sex?” Jack asked quietly. She turned her head to meet Jack’s gaze. She simply nodded. “Wow,” he mumbled as he dropped his head, staring towards his beer.

Chloe stood up from her seat as she handed her drink towards her boyfriend. “Y/N, let’s get you to bed,” she mumbled.

“Why? Because I told everyone the truth? I’m sorry if that disappoints you all. I know you all think he was so awesome,” she let out while her eyes were filled with tears.

“Y/N, come on,” Chloe mumbled, gripping Y/N’s arm and lifting her up from the ground. She didn’t protest as she followed Chloe towards the house.

Everyone stayed silent for a moment, processing that someone they thought was their friend could be lying for so many years. Jack kept replaying the part where she had said that Parker thought they were having sex. Was it that obvious that he liked her? Maybe I had feelings for her?

“Why would Parker think you two were having sex?” Ollie asked. Jack lifted his head, pouted his lips as he shook his head slightly. Cole chuckled as he rolled his eyes.

“Jack has had the hots for Y/N since he was twelve,” Cole let out, he was drunk as well. His filter was long gone. Jack’s eyes widened as he shifted his gaze towards Cole.

“Thanks for that,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You’re welcome,” Cole said, completely missing the sarcasm.

Jack rolled his eyes as he took in a sharp breath. “I never acted on anything. I mean she’s spent most of the time I’ve known her hating me,” he explained while shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah and you liked pissing her off because it turned you on,” Cole continued, clearly needing to go to bed himself.

“Alright! Cole, maybe you should head to bed too!” Jack silenced him as he swallowed hard, shyly looking towards the crowd of couples to his left.

Cole nodded, standing up. He stumbled slightly as Trevor took a hold of his shoulders, guiding him towards the Hughes house. Jack clenched his jaw as he stared towards the bottle for a second before he brought it towards his lips, chugging the rest of his beer.

“I’m never telling him anything ever again,” he mumbled as he dropped the beer bottle to his side. He met Harry’s gaze, suddenly feeling the need to defend himself.

“I don’t know why, I just liked making her mad. We got into it-argued- a few years ago and that was the last time we really went at each other’s throats. We’ve been friends since?” he explained. “I mean I wouldn’t help someone cheat on their boyfriend. Even if I knew Parker was a dick,”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Alright, I wasn’t going to say anything but Reagan and I heard that argument. We thought this whole time you two were secretly having sex,” Harry explained. Jack’s eyes widened.

“You what?!” Jack let out loudly. Everyone else besides Harry and Reagan began dispersing away from the firepit, all of them heading towards the Hughes house. Despite half of them that sleep at Y/N’s. “Did you tell Parker that?!” Jack asked.

Harry clenched his jaw as he nodded his head. Jack scoffed while rolling his eyes. “I mean you told her to stop hating you before you two have sex!” he let out a chuckle, “I mean, we thought she still hated you-”

“So you made an assumption and probably ruined their entire relationship. That’s fucking awesome of you, Harry,” Jack stood up, getting ready to walk towards his house.

“You fucking ruined it man, you clearly have feelings for her!”

“I think she’s attractive, that’s fucking different! Why would I have feelings for someone that hated me!?” he stood up shouting again.

“Cole said you’ve had feelings for her since you were twelve!” Harry shouted back.

“First off, Cole’s drunk barely knows what he’s saying. Second off he said I had the hots for her. Two very fucking different things!” Jack defended. He took a deep breath, meeting Harry’s gaze. “And if I did have feelings for her, I would treat her a hell of a lot better than how Parker treated her. Even if she hated me first,” he said simply before he started walking away towards his house.

After a few seconds he stopped short, spinning around to meet Harry’s gaze. His anger and frustration quickly dissipated. He took a deep breath. “Y/N didn’t cheat on Parker with me. I only said that to rile her up. I never brought it up again.” he met Harry’s gaze. “You only did what you thought you had to do and I get that, I just-I don’t have feelings for her. I’m sorry for getting pissed at you. I’m drunk and I get snappy when I’m tired.”

Reagan tapped Harry’s arm encouragingly. “I’m-I’m sorry too. I just Y/N’s practically my sister and Parks and I got close over the years. I didn’t like seeing anyone get hurt, I should’ve asked you two about it before I went and told Parks,” he explained. Jack simply nodded before he left to walk towards his house.

Reagan took a deep breath, “How do you boys just scream at one another and then apologize and get over a minute later? How is that even possible?”

Harry laughed while shaking his head, “I don’t know, it just happens,” he mumbled.

~~~

Jack jolted awake, his breathing heavy as he shook his head. His dream from last night flashed in his mind for a moment. A scene of Y/N sprawled out on his mattress, completely naked awaiting for him to lean down and kiss her lips. That damn pout was on her lips as she looked towards him desperately. He shut his eyes, feeling his boxers tighten as the dream continued to replay in his mind.

“Fuck,” he mumbled as he stood up, forcing himself to try and occupy his mind with something else. Except he turned around to see his mattress. The vision of Y/N on his mattresses plastered in front of him, she was stunning and desperate in his dream, he wanted to see it in real time. He wanted to be with her. He clenched his jaw as he walked towards his bathroom. Needing to shower away his thoughts.

He stood underneath the hot water, staring down towards his erection, mad that his thoughts were sending him there. It’s been years since he thought that way about her, he thought he was finally over it. But she was single again. Maybe even a little desperate. Or he was the desperate one.

Maybe he needed to have sex with her once, maybe it’ll be a one time thing. One and done, get her out of his system. He sighed as he finished his shower, still half-hard as he pulled on his swim trunks.

He jogged down the steps to the voices of everyone else in the house awake. The air was tense as Jack entered the living room. The rest of the boys were awake, sitting and chatting. They all shifted their gaze towards Jack. “Harry and I already apologized and are over it, alright?” Jack rasped out as he stumbled towards the coffee maker.

“I’m sorry for my drunk ass,” Cole rasped out, his eyes barely open. He was very hungover. “I gotta learn to shut the fuck up,”

“Yeah you do, but it’s fine. I just hope Y/N’s alright,” he mumbled as he waited for the Kurig to pour him his cup. He spun around, rubbing his hand across his face. The boys shared knowing glances again. “What?” Jack asked, his voice cracking slightly.

“So Caufield’s right? You have feelings for her?” Luke asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Jack took a deep breath.

“I think she’s hot, I don’t have feelings for her,” he clarified as he pulled the mug from the coffee maker, taking a small sip. His hangover, disappearing nearly instantly. Jack rolled his shoulder back, groaning slightly.

It was a handful of hours later and any tension between the group dissipated within a few minutes. They were all laughing and smiling together again on the boat. Y/N’s family has a slightly bigger boat that fits everyone. The Hughes’s boat is much smaller. Y/N was sitting beside Chloe as she was talking about something that was going on with her new school district that she was working for.

Jack was sitting beside Quinn, subtly looking towards Y/N every chance he could. “Are you sure?” Quinn asked Jack. At first, Jack didn’t hear him as he continued glancing towards Y/N. “Jack, are you sure?” he let out again.

Jack shifted his gaze towards Quinn, “Sure about what?” he asked as he reluctantly glanced back towards Y/N.

“If you look towards Y/N one more time I think you might burn a hole into her forehead,” he teased. Jack smacked his arm as he dropped his gaze towards his lap.

“Shut up,” Jack mumbled as he stared towards his hands. Quinn had stopped the boat at the center of the lake, spinning around to face everyone.

“Who wants to go swimming?” he asked. The boys nearly instantly jumped into the lake without hesitation. Quinn slowly pulled his t-shirt from his frame, dropping it to his side before he jumped into the water, landing near Dylan. Jack stood at the opposite end of the boat, watching Y/N and the other girls slowly get ready to climb into the water. Reagan and Chloe were the first to jump into the water.

“Jack don’t you fucking think about it-” she expressed, pointing a finger towards him but it was too late he was already making a beeline towards her. “Jack!” she shouted as he took a hold of her legs, tossing over his shoulder before he jumped into the lake, tossing her in with him.

He soon resurfaced, shaking his head of the water. She slowly resurfaced after him, pouting her lips as she splashed him. “I was going to jump in, asshole!” she said, teasingly. He smirked as he began to splash her back.

“Are you cheating on me?” Parker asked out of nowhere. Y/N was mid bite of her sandwich when he asked. She stared towards him blankly as she chewed quickly. Swallowing hard, she rested her sandwich down onto the plate while she stood up.

“No, why would you think that?” she asked while shaking her head. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest. Almost as if she was guilty. But she wasn’t. The only thing she was guilty of was sex dreams with other people. Mainly just Jack.

She hasn’t seen him in six months and on and off she would have a very hot and heavy dream where they would be having sex. Anywhere and everywhere they could between their lake houses.

“Are you and Jack having sex? I can’t stop this nagging idea that every time we go to the lakehouse you are sleeping with him!” he shouted. His voice was much louder than it was before. She scoffed, her lips curling up in a smile. Her fantasies were the furthest she would consider going with Jack Hughes.

“That’s fucking crazy! I don’t like him! Why would I ever consider having sex with him?” she let out, still laughing.

“Why are you laughing?!” he asked.

“Because it is ridiculous to me that you would believe that Jack, who lives in New Jersey, and I are having sex!”

~Three Days Later~

The group was starting to disperse back to their respective rooms. It was well past two in the morning, everyone was drunk and stumbling. Except Jack and Y/N. They were tipsy, but more sober than their friends. Y/N walked a handful of her friends back towards her house, watching each of them enter their rooms. She stood still in the living room letting her tipsy mind wander.

Which led to her feet wandering.

She stepped outside, the chill of the night air hit her skin creating goosebumps all over her skin.

She walked towards the backdoor of the Hughes house as she met Jack’s gaze through the glass door.

He bit his bottom lip as he pulled the door open.

“It’s late, Sunshine,” he mumbled as he pulled his lips between his teeth, running his tongue along his lips. She scanned his features, his eyes darkened as he scanned her frame. It was only covered by a thin black bikini. She stepped towards him, gently resting her hand onto his bare chest. He took small steps backwards.

“I know,” she mumbled, her gaze only on his lips. They would drift towards his eyes, every few seconds. But she was so focused on his lips.

“Nothing good happens after two AM, that’s that stupid rule you follow from that show you like,” he could hear his heartbeat. He knew what she wanted, he knew what he wanted. But what if the others find out?

“It’s from How I Met Your Mother and it’s not stupid,” she muttered as her hands started trailing his body, feeling his skin rise in goosebumps under her touch. Her eyes drifted down towards his body, his tanned frame was hard to not admire. Her fingertips grazed the small bump of a scar line from his surgery he had. He looked over her features, she wasn’t thinking straight. She couldn’t have been.

“You’re drunk, Y/N,” he let out, feeling his body grow tense under her touch. His lips were starting to tingle from anticipation.

“I’ve had two shots and a beer, Jack, I’m not drunk,” she lifted her head slightly. Meeting his eye.

He took in a shaky breath as he took both of his hands and took a hold of her cheeks. He pulled her towards him, slamming his lips against hers as if a bomb would go off if he didn’t. She moaned against his lips as she rested her hands onto his chest muscles. Their tongues connected. His hands slowly glid from her cheeks down towards her neck, one hand ran through her hair as his other kept a soft hold of her neck.

His thumb caressed the side of her neck slowly before he pulled away. “What-” she trailed off as he leaned down and took a hold of her thighs, lifting her up from the ground, tossing her onto his shoulder. “Jack what are you doing?” she asked as she rested her hands onto the center of his back as she was being carried upstairs.

“Hold on-” he mumbled as he turned the corner towards his room. A room she has only seen a handful of times. He not so gently laid her down onto the bed, his eyes lit up at the sight of her on his bed. His nights have been filled with dreams of her laying exactly like that. With him hovering above her. She took in a deep shaky breath as he smiled towards him, she inched back slightly, trying to give them more room.

Jack shut the door and quickly locked it. He quickly climbed on top of her, supporting himself with his good arm. His other arm quickly took a hold of her thigh, putting their bodies closer together.

Immediately his lips pressed hard against hers as his grip on her thigh tightened. She moaned against his mouth as she ran her fingers through the ends of his growing hair.

His breathing quickened as he slowly pulled his lips away from hers as he slowly pressed his lips against her jaw. Tilting her head back, her entire neck and chest was in view. She was breathing hard as she continued running her fingers through the ends of his hair, tugging slightly. His lips trailed down her neck, not leaving a mark on her skin. He knows he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did.

Her back arched, as he slowly glided his fingertips towards the small clip of her bikini on her back. He looked up towards her, pleading that she allow him to see her. She lowered her gaze, meeting his desperate gaze. All she could muster up was a nod as he quickly unclipped the top. With her assistance the top came off. He tilted back slightly, taking in her boobs.

She suddenly felt shy, no man, not even Parker, admired her like this. Jack soon leaned towards her, connecting their lips once more, “You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against her lips. She didn’t reply, only started letting her own hands wander towards his swim trunks.

He pulled away from her lips as he began kissing and running his tongue along her skin once more. She was breathing heavily as his tongue and lips connected with her boob. She took in a sharp breath as she tilted her head back. His other hand began massaging the other one, as he took in every single breath and small utter leaving her lips. He continued lower for only a few seconds before he pulled away.

He climbed up, meeting her gaze as he slowly leaned down and kissed her lips, less urgently. More sensually as her hands slowly toyed with the waistband of his swim trunks.

He hummed as he slowly lowered his lips again, kissing and sucking the skin right below her collarbone. He was convinced that she had a swimsuit that covered it. He thought the longer his lips remained at that certain spot, creating a red jagged bruise, she would tell him to stop but he continued.

Once he was satisfied he stood up from the bed, smirking towards her. He pulled off his swim trunks, revealing himself to her. Her eyes widened as she smirked towards him. He winked towards her as he slowly walked towards her, taking a hold of her swim bottoms. He met her gaze briefly before he slowly began to pull the bottoms off of her frame. Slowly revealing herself to him.

His fantasy was in front of him, she was laying completely naked, desperately looking towards him for more. He’s never made it past this part, never made farther in his dreams. But here he was, climbing on top of her as he kissed her lips urgently. His free hand slowly wandered down towards her clit.

He slowly began running small tight circles, she moaned against his lips as she tilted her head back. “Shh,” he pointed towards the wall, warning her that Trevor’s room was right beside them. She nodded absentmindedly as she pulled his head towards her again, connecting their lips.

He pulled away again, a whine left her lips. “I think you’re gonna like this a lot better, Sunshine,” he whispered before he slowly climbed down her frame. He took a hold of her thighs, spreading them apart, getting a look of how wet she was for him.

He leaned towards her, slowly running his thumb along her clit, hearing her squirm at his touch. He smiled before he leaned towards her. His tongue slowly circled her center. A breathy moan left her lips as she gripped the pillow behind her. After a few seconds, he took her clit in his mouth.

“Oh my god,” she let out as she tilted her head back. He hummed against her body, sending an electric set of shivers through her body. Her legs tensed around his head as he slowly pulled away from her, he pressed sloppy but delicately kissed from her center, into her inner thigh before he climbed up her frame, kissing her jawline before he connected their lips once more in a sloppy dazed state.

“J-Jack,” she let out, tilting her head back, her breathing strained as her lips were swollen. He smirked as he met her gaze.

He took a hold of his hard on and ran his hand up and down it a few times before he slowly leaned down, aligning himself with her center. He slowly pushed inside, he glanced towards her watching her tilt her head back. He thrusted a few times before he leaned down, taking a hold of her thigh.

He pressed his lips against hers as he thrusted hard into her. She let out a breathy moan against his lips, too overwhelmed to kiss him properly. He smirked as he pressed his lips against her jaw, encouragingly. “You’re doing so good, Sunshine,” he mumbled against her ear.

He was already feeling close to his climax as her breathy moans continued leaving her lips. Her hands found his back, digging her nails into his skin as she was nearly at her own climax. Jack slowed his pace, not wanting the moment to be over just yet, “No,” she let out barely above a whisper.

“Sunshine, you gotta be patient,” he teased, a smirk on his lips as he took a hold of her jaw, turning her gaze towards him. “Look at me,” he mumbled before he slammed his lips against hers as he quickened his pace. He continued thrusting hard against her as she was holding her breath, trying to keep the moans inside.

“I’m gonna-” she mumbled as she tilted her head back as her release happened quickly as she tightened around him. After one more thrust he was reaching his climax.

He let out a breathy moan as he pulled out, “Fuck,” he mumbled against her jawline. She took in a deep breath as her climax slowly ended. Her head tilted back towards him, admiring his features. The sweat formed on his forehead. She reached her hand up and brushed a few stray pieces of his hair away from his face.

He leaned towards her, pecking her lips briefly. “Not so patient are we, Sunshine?” he teased. She rolled her eyes, smacking her hand against his arm. “It’s okay, we’ll work on it,”

He climbed away from her, taking a towel from the folded section beside his clean clothes. He sat beside her, slowly and delicately cleaning up the mess as he looked towards her, a small grin on his lips.

~~~

They didn’t talk about it afterwards. It happened, it was great and they didn’t talk about it. She kissed him one last time before she snuck out of the house and walked back to her own. She didn’t know how to feel, she couldn’t sleep. All she did was lay on her bed, staring towards the ceiling fan. She kept picturing him hovering above her, whispering things to her. His touch, his lips all over her body.

It was around eight in the morning when she woke up. Probably only an hour of sleep under her belt. She walked towards her bathroom, looking into the mirror to see the hickeys all over her chest. He wasn’t as careful as she thought. She sighed as she walked towards the shower, turning on the hot water as she stepped inside.

After thirty minutes, she covered her frame with a hoodie as a pair of loose shorts. She entered the living room of her lakehouse to see Ollie and Melanie sitting on the couch watching the news. She smiled towards them awkwardly as she sauntered towards the kitchen.

Jack stepped out of his shower and smiled to himself as he met his own gaze in the mirror. He was still trying to process the events of last night. It was as if it was a dream, but it was far from it. He simply put on a pair of shorts as he climbed down the steps towards the living room, the grin on his lips not dissipating.

He lifted his head to see Trevor and Cole sitting on the couch watching Friends. Jack ignored them as he beelined towards the coffee pot. His back was facing Trevor and Cole as he was adding his K-cup to the Kurig. Trevor’s eyes lit up as he barked out a laugh.

“I told you I wasn’t crazy!” Trevor laughed as he smacked his hand against Cole’s shoulder. Jack spun around, facing his friends.

“What?” Jack asked innocently.

“You had sex last night!” Trevor shouted.

“What? No I didn’t, I would know if I did,” he defended badly, the smirk on his lips was evidence enough.

“So a ghost did that to your back?” Cole teased, as he pursed his lips forward.

“What?” he asked innocently again as he jogged towards the floor length mirror. He awkwardly checked his back to see long thin scratches along the top of his shoulders. A cocky grin formed on his lips. “I always forget to check that,” he mumbled, running his hand across his chin.

“So what does this Tinder girl look like?” Cole asked. Jack shrugged.

“It’s none of your business,” Jack expressed, a grin to his lips.

Y/N kept her mug in her lap as she watched the TV screen silently with Ollie and Melanie. Ollie was whispering to Melanie, a few snickers leaving his lips. Y/N shifted her gaze towards the pair, furrowing her eyebrows harshly. He smiled politely as he remained silent as he shifted his gaze towards the screen.

Chloe stumbled down the steps with Jacob behind her. Y/N stayed silent, which was unusual of her. Any time she would not greet anyone, she always had something to hide. A secret circling her thoughts. Chloe stopped dead in her tracks, watching Y/N ignore her. She furrowed her eyebrows, suspiciously wandering towards Y/N.

“Why didn’t you say hi to me?” she asked harshly. Y/N shifted her gaze towards her.

“Hi Chloe, good morning,” Y/N offered, a fake grin to her lips. Chloe peaked her head around the small hidden hickey just beneath her ear. Chloe’s eyes widened.

“You had sex last night!” she accused as she pointed a finger towards her. Y/N fought the smile forming to her lips.

“I-I did not,” she said, completely blowing her cover. Chloe widened her eyes as she raised her eyebrows. Y/N sighed, dropping her gaze towards her lap. “I might’ve had sex last night, but I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“Fine, but when you do wanna talk about it. I need all the details,” Chloe expressed as she walked towards the kitchen to get herself a cup of coffee as well.

Somehow the secret that Y/N and Jack hooked up remained quiet. No one was plotting to figure out who the person was. Chloe had a feeling the guy Y/N hooked up with was Jack. She has always silently rooted for them to get together, but she wasn’t going to press the situation.

Ollie, Melanie, and Harry offered to drive everyone to the Zach Bryan concert they were attending later that night. The boys were all ready. Many dressed in similar attire as the girls were still getting ready. Y/N stood in her bathroom, trying to cover up the hickeys scattered around her boobs and collarbone. A knock hit her bathroom door, she jumped nervously.

Jack slowly slipped into the bathroom. His eyes lowered towards her chest, the half covered hickeys. His eyes widened, a small chuckle leaving his throat. “Sorry,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“It’s okay, heard Cole joking about your back. Sorry,” she said, smiling towards him through the mirror. He shrugged as he stood behind her, watching her apply the makeup to her body. “I might need a new outfit, I don’t think I can cover all of these,” she let out defeatedly.

“You’ll look beautiful in anything,” he expressed genuinely. She smiled towards him.

“You look very cute,” she mumbled towards him.

His eyes widened, he leaned towards her, “Was that a compliment, Sunshine?” he whispered into her ear. She rolled her eyes as she leaned forward, still attempting to cover the last one beneath her collarbone. “Are we going to talk about it?” he asked.

She sighed as she licked her lips nervously. “I don’t know if we should make it more than a one time thing, Jack. I mean you live in Jersey, I just got a new job here. It wouldn’t make sense,” she said, avoiding his gaze. He nodded.

He cleared his throat, “Well, I’ve got to be back in Jersey by September first. Let’s do our thing, whatever that may be and have this conversation then?” he mumbled, his head rested on her shoulder. She met his gaze through the mirror for only a moment before she nodded without hesitation. He took a hold of her hips as he spun her around, leaning her back against the bathroom counter.

He leaned towards her desperately as he kissed her. She giggled while taking a hold of his cheek, pulling him away from her. “Shhh,” she forced out while laughing.

The concert was going as well as she could’ve expected. It was amazing, the group was amazing. Everyone was having a blast together. Something in the Orange began playing and Jack slowly walked up behind Y/N. She tilted her head back meeting his gaze, smiling up towards him. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her towards his chest.

They swayed back and forth, quietly singing along to the song together. Chloe, Cole, and Trevor huddled up as they watched the pair from a distance. Chloe’s jaw nearly hit the floor as she continued to stare towards them.

“No fucking way!” Trevor shouted, he was barely audible as the concert was so loud. Cole and Trevor started shoving and directing their friends' attention towards Jack and Y/N.

“To you, I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am. Where the hell am I supposed to go?” Jack mumbled into her ear, kissing the skin just below it. She hummed as she tilted her head back, meeting his gaze as she pressed her lips against his.

“Are you kidding me!” Chloe shouted as she walked towards the pair. The music slowly faded as Zach was beginning his transition into the next song. “Are you kidding me?!” she said again as she stopped beside them. “I fucking knew it! I called it!” she yelled out.

Jack and Y/N dropped their heads as they slowly stepped apart, giggles leaving their lips. “We don’t even know what we’re doing yet! Calm down!” Y/N explained.

“Oh-oh-oh okay, I’ll calm down when you two explain when this fucking happened!”

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astro-rainbow777 · 5 months ago

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♊︎ Gemini Through The Houses ♊︎

🌟Gemini in the first - When gemini encompasses the first house of self and identity, this usually points to a dynamic and versatile personality that can talk up just about anyone they encounter. They leave a charming first impression and can be remembered by their quick wit, banter and something about their voice usually sticks out. The native could be well versed in foreign accents, theatrical movements, or celebrity impersonations. There are many aspects of them that express their dualistic nature in the physical expression as well; maybe they switch back and fourth between contacts and glasses - or flip flop their style often.

📘 Gemini in the second - In the second house of finances, possessions, and values, gemini can multiple and diverse sources of income to the natives lives. It could be important for them to always have a back up plan whenever it comes to their streams of income. They could spend a lot of their mental energy thinking about their assets, financial endeavors, and stability. When their mind becomes too much for them they could enjoy indulging in activities that get them out of their head and into their body. Another manifestation is impulsive buying & spending, they can fluctuate between being extremely frugal too generous in their purchases. They could invest money into their hobbies, siblings and friends.

👨‍🎤 Gemini in the third - Expressive and quick, these natives speak their mind freely and honestly. Because Gemini is in it’s natural ruling house, a lot of the times of the third house are taken quite literally. In the matters of mind and communication - these individuals speak without much thought. They focus on the things they’re interested in and have fun debating controversial topics while keeping things light - unless it’s with family lol. They can have a multitude of hobbies, and enjoy activities that allow them to get in touch with their inner child. They can keep long-lasting friends from their childhood, are in frequently in communication with their cousins and siblings. They make friends easily and get along easy with their neighbors.

👯‍♂️ Gemini in the fourth - These natives may come from a communicative family where emotions were approached lightly and unserious. The natives guardians could have flip flopped between logical, serious, opinionated to open, sensitive and immature. The maternal figure could have acted as the natives friend rather than nurturer and while being vocally supportive could have a tendency to b e irresponsible. The family itself could be quite dualistic and at times unpredictable. From their familial environment, the native may learn that the emotions aren’t valid or worth taking seriously. Because of these experiences, this placement may find themselves trying to pick apart their own feelings, attempting to gain a deeper understanding to them or just being genuinely confused and curious of why they are there and what they mean.

🐠 Gemini in the fifth - This placement is known for their diverse array of hobbies and mentally engaging interests. Studying could be quite fun for them, technology, or chatting with friends online, to name a few. They may have a nerdy and quirky style, liking to incorporate the media, hobbies and special interests they have into their self expression. They may like to appear ambiguous, enigmatic, and enjoy the idea of others being confused or curious of them. The native can participate in debate or like to play devils advocate. They may be attracted to others intellectual abilities, sense of humor, and mentally stimulating conversations, especially when first dating. They are known to date their friends or may prefer a friends to lovers romantic trope.

🦕 Gemini in the sixth - Does well living with others, especially friends, however enjoys their space. They may spend quite a bit of time online, studying, learning new things, chatting with their friends, etc. They may be quite the planner, spending their days in accordance to a written routine or function well with a planner. Their health can be psychosomatic at times or they can struggle with their mental health, with a big focus on anxiety. They may benefit from learning the art of meditation and mindfulness. They may smoke because gemini rules over oral fixations, beware of health issues related to smoking.

🌼 Gemini in the seventh - These individuals aren’t known to have a romantic type and may end up dating a variety of different kinds of people throughout their lives. Commitment can be something that gives them anxiety because of the fear that comes with losing their partner. In the best case scenario their partner is their best friend or they may never move past just friends with others. They enjoy keeping their close connections light and doing the harder things alone. This natives spouse may embody the gemini traits themselves, being communicative, unserious, funny and mentally engaging.

🎭 Gemini in the eighth - Communication may be something that this native does very little of, or is a very important lesson in their karmic cycles. They may be too curious for their own good, getting into conspiracy theories, and taboo research topics. It can be hard for Gemini in the eighth to express themselves or communicate their feelings. There may be power struggles in communication or feeling verbally cornered through out their life. Mental health struggles, obsessive thoughts, and an intense communication style can also be pertinent with gemini in the eighth.

🛰 Gemini in the ninth - Here, Gemini falls into the opposing house of its naturally ruling house, showing a lifelong student and open minded individual. Their opinions of society could be forever changing or fluid depending on who’s around. It may be hard for the individual to engage in scientific or analytic topics, and while preferring philosophy & theoretical conversations. They may struggle to move from a student role into a teaching position, because the native enjoys being the ponderer and may struggle with feelings of intellectual inferiority. They may learn about their own morality through others, an internal compass is earned for them in this life time, they may have to try on values and see what feels right for them.

🌠 Gemini in the tenth - This native may be known as a jack of all trades, and are quite quick learners in the work place. They are great at juggling multiple projects, jobs and career paths. They may have many lines of work they get into before finding what fits them. They can make a career out of their hobbies or intellectual interests. They may find that their public persona is quite different that how they actually are in their personal lives - and may struggle with imposter syndrome to some degree. Work may demand a lot of their time and they may make a lot of friends in their career.

🔆 Gemini in the eleventh - Enjoys intellectual, funny and witty friends and social circles. They can have a diverse group of friends and be a part of many different communities. They can belong to communities that correlate to their special interests and bound over shared hobbies. They have a talent for social interaction, adaptability & engagement, drawing the attention from a variety of social groups. They a curious about humanitarian causes, and can be vocally opinionated about the injustices of the world, but may need to watch for being too heavily influenced by the media/news.

🧿 Gemini in the twelfth - With Gemini over the house of secrets, illusions, and the unseen, the native may keep their opinions/ideas to themselves & can be passive in communication. They can spend a good amount of time thinking about life beyond this lifetime. They can be emotional thinkers, may spend a lot of time daydreaming about their hobbies or special interests. This placement makes for good authors, songwriters, and poets. They may struggle with some degree of stage fright or receiving vocal attention. They can appreciate a good fantasy novel and is very comfortable with their head in the clouds.

Happiest New Moon in Gemini & Season Everyone! Let me know what you think of my post, if you relate, if you don’t relate, things that you notice about your Gemini House placement, ect.

Also, what Gemini placements do y’all have?

I am a Gemini Mercury with Gemini seventh- however my mercury falls into the sixth! Plus Gemini Saturn + North Node in the seventh :) such a fun and dualistic sign!

Farewell,

🌼 Kya 🌼

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elysiansparadise · 2 years ago

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Synastry Observations VII

🤎Mercury conjunct IC is a beautiful aspect that a couple can have. Both will love to talk about the past, their childhood and get to know each other deeply, expect to have long and deep talks. They will be very curious to know the core of their special person, to know even the smallest detail of their heart and they will easily remember everything the other tells them. They will be confidants, best friends, lovers and a safe place in which they will feel safe to discuss issues that others would consider intense or very deep. It seems that they can read each other's minds and they will understand each other perfectly without using a single word. They will be very aware of each other and will always take their emotions and needs into account.

🤎When there’s a Lilith-Mars aspect, it shows a power couple, they stand out for being very ambitious and being each other's partner in crime, there is nothing that this couple cannot achieve. They empower each other and when they are together they feel more confident, more attractive and more capable of facing whatever comes their way. The sex between them is fascinating, passionate and a unique and intense experience, both take the other to new worlds of pleasure and satisfy each other like no other person ever could. Much sexual affinity and desire for the other from the beginning.

🤎Since we talked about Vesta recently, when the North Node-Vesta conjunction is present, it usually indicates that both can bring the other closer to their passions or discover a deeper side of life, they seem to help the other person find a purpose and have a more unique and own vision of life. Vesta person can bring passion to their partner's life and the idea that there are still people you can trust, unconditional and very supportive people. While North Node person can help their partner to focus their passions and realize their potential either in their talents or as a person. They both support each other whenever they can and are happy to have the other in their lives.

🤎Do you want to know what was the first impression of another person when they met you? See which of their houses your MC falls into. Remembering what I have always said, first impressions are ruled by the MC, and the person who always feels the effect of an overlay is the house person. I've noticed that when your MC falls into an Earth house of someone there can be vibes that the person is out of your league.

🤎If your Moon falls in your partner's 6th house, they can see you as a great support in their life, as someone very faithful and reliable. In the same way, they may think that it is difficult for you to open up emotionally and that you can demand a lot of yourself. They may find the way you care about them and their well-being sweet, and they will love getting to know your more emotional and caring side. They will greatly admire your altruism and the delicacy with which you treat both them and other people. They will see you as a strong person who has been through a lot of hard things in life and is going strong. Deep down they can intuit that your emotions are intense and that can attract their attention a lot.

🤎When there is a Uranus-Moon aspect, it indicates that this relationship will be something totally new for you, something very different from the old relationships you had. Uranus person will help your partner to get out of the routine and will bring new things to this person's life, new sensations, new activities and new airs. Moon person will give you stability and the confidence to open up to your partner, a lot of sweetness, support and warmth. These relationships usually start as friendship, like a lighthearted relationship in which they know many things about the other and have fun like never before, but gradually progresses to a slightly more romantic taste, but it doesn't matter if they become a couple, the touch of friendship will continue to be present.

🤎The sextile between Mercury-Mercury facilitates understanding, however different they may seem at first glance, they may have similar opinions and ways of seeing things. The conversations are fluid and something that arises harmoniously, without anything feeling forced or without those awkward silences. They can enjoy spending time together and doing activities that the other has not done that they mostly end up liking.

🤎The opposition between Moon-Venus is an aspect that might seem tense, but it can be the start of something very nice indeed. Both can show the other things or forms of affection that the other did not know or was not used to, but that will undoubtedly make them feel better, comfortable and happy. There is a lot of sweetness, but both are aware of the differences they may have with respect to the other, they will always try to approach these differences with respect, they will be very understanding with the other, especially if they want to take things slowly. A common aspect in slowburn, because they really take the time to understand and be fascinated by what makes the other different from them.

🤎If your Moon falls in your partner's 5th house, you will make them feel like a child again. They may feel that their life is happier when you are around. You will teach them to take things a little more lightly and help them have a good time. You will evoke in them the most emotional and expressive side even if they do not see themselves that way. You can inspire them a lot if they are into art and are likely to dedicate songs to you. They see you as a fun, warm and expressive person, but above all, honest with what you feel. They can feel that you are very transparent with what you feel and they love that. They find you charming and charismatic.

🤎Your Saturn falling in their 7th house will make them see you as someone who takes relationships seriously, as a committed person looking for something long term. On many occasions this overlay shows that the other person knew that they could have a stable and lasting relationship with you. They see you as a partner who, although somewhat serious at the beginning, gives them stability and a favorable opinion regarding long-term relationships. You give them that trust and feeling of reliability that they could never have.

🤎Venus trine or sextile Chiron causes this healing through love. Both will be filled with affection and will understand any emotion that the other person feels. They will love each other through thick and thin and seek to support each other to get ahead. Venus person will accompany Chiron person whenever he needs it, without falling into savior complex attitudes, all from a healthy perspective. Venus person will tell Chiron person how proud they are of them and give them a very pure and unconditional love. Chiron person will love every part of their partner, both physically and emotionally, they will speak well of them and support them in whatever is in their power, they can help them have more self-esteem and self-acceptance.

🤎The harmonious aspects between Vesta-Saturn give a lot of devotion to the couple, both work hard for and for the relationship and will always respect their partner. Both will fully trust each other and seek to keep any promises they make, they will support each other even when things are difficult and they will seek to solve any inconvenience that arises. The passion will be lasting and can improve a lot over time, they will not do things without the consent of their partner and they will respect all the boundaries of their beloved. They may think of marriage prematurely but take the time to see how the relationship continues to develop. They may want to have the other person in their life regardless of whatever.

🤎Lilith-Venus aspects generate a fun, hot and very flirtatious dynamic. They will both love to tease each other, they will stare into each other's eyes feeling that burning in their hearts and those hypnotizing effects that they have for the other. Lilith person will be amazed by the beauty of their partner from the beginning, they will fantasize about the idea of being loved and desired by the other person with the same intensity that they do, they will be attentive to the other and pay special attention to what they say and makes your person special. Venus person on the other hand, fascinated by the appeal of their partner, they will find them irresistible and appealing, as well as mysterious and complex, they will be intensely attracted to them and they will love to have their attention and love all to themselves. Both parties will be protective of each other, there will be a lot of attraction from the first meeting and this will not stop over time, it will get bigger and bigger. If the aspect is tense, there may be some jealousy.

🤎If your Rising falls in their 4th house they may see you as a very trustworthy person from the start and in fact it may be very easy for them to open up to you. You will give them a sense of familiarity even without your realizing it, they will not feel judged by you and they will feel understood and "finally at home". They will see you as a person who is looking for things in the long term, someone who takes themselves and others seriously, but above all as a very careful person and attentive to the needs of others, to their needs.

🤎When Chiron aspects their 7th house cusp or falls in their 7th house, it can indicate that you can heal their vision of love, marriage, or relationships in general. Both may have the same fears in love [of infidelity, premature divorce or any type of representation of betrayal], but they may see in you that you are different from everything that torments them in relationships, that you are different from those that they betrayed or lied to them.

🤎If your Venus falls in their 7th house they will find your company charming, they will really like having you around... maybe they will like it too much. You will have them thinking about romance, weddings, love and you will bring out their cheesiest side in such a way that they will look unrecognizable not only to themselves, but also to others. They can see you as a person with whom to have a wonderful serious relationship, a dream come true and above all they will see you as an incredible couple, someone who matches each of their boxes.

🤎When Mars opposites Mars, it shows a relationship with a lot of sexual chemistry, both motivate the other easily and sexually they can understand each other quite well. However, there may be difficulties in agreeing on their day-to-day activities, as they will do things very differently from each other. This can be balanced if Saturn or Venus makes positive aspects with Mars, favoring those who understand each other or at least try to understand each other. This relationship can be favorable if both people are patient and do not want to dominate the other.

🤎When there is an aspect between Saturn-Rising, both can motivate each other to grow as people and continue to improve either personally or academically / at work. They will feel that they must be the best version of themselves and this relationship can bring a lot of maturity and growth to both of them. They will see the other person as very centered, stable, and as someone not to be immature with. They will learn to take themselves and life more seriously. They can be very meaningful to each other regardless of the passage of time.

🤎Venus-Jupiter conjunction, a couple whose love is not only evident to themselves, it is evident to the whole world, it is the classic couple who, before being a couple, were mistaken for one. There was always a romantic tension between them, because no matter how moody or distant they may be with others, between them they were light, joy, love and fantasy. They bring out the best in each other and enjoy spending time with each other, because they not only like each other's physique, they love their way of seeing life, their values and their sense of humor, they seem to be aligned and have been destined to meet. Detailed with the other, loving and always supporting and advising the other.

🤎The couple that has a Mercury trine Pluto in synastry will always be fascinated and intrigued by their partner's way of thinking, delighted to know what goes on in that mind that they like so much. There will be many existential conversations between the two, they will talk until night falls about the past, about good and not so good things that have happened to them, and about any topic that crosses their minds, since trust is the strongest foundation on which the relationship will be built. They will find what the other has to say or think very interesting and they will seek to consult the opinion of the other when they can. Both may have a sense of humor not suitable for the sensitive and they will enjoy sharing it with the other, as they will complement each other just fine.

🤎Your Jupiter falling in your partner's 11th house will help them to have a more positive vision of the future and motivate them to go after their goals and those things that they only see as dreams or desires. You will fill them with energy and bring into their lives positive perspectives that will change their perception of themselves and their potential. Likewise, thier friends may really like you or at least have a positive opinion of you. You can encourage your partner to be more open and connect with lots of nice people in your own circle.

#synastry astrology #synastry observations #synastry notes #synastry #astrology #astro content #astrology notes #astrology observations #astro notes #astro observations

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reidmania · 3 months ago

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made up memories | spencer reid

summary; reader struggles with feeling homesick, but has never felt ‘at home’ anywhere, good thing spencer cares and always understands.

warnings; fem reader, no use of y/n cus ew, angst w fluff, hurt x comfort, early seasons spencer, mentions of bad home life, family issues, homesick, feeling out of place, not knowing who you are, struggles fitting in, references depression, mentions vomiting, no one actually vomits, feeling physically sick over mental emotions, references missing a childhood dog, missing having a pet, bad childhood (arguing parents, lol same?) friends to lovers but not entirely romance based. mutual pinning, both are silly and idiots.

an; self indulgent bc im lying in bed at home and I feel homesick. 2kish words

Sick.

You felt sick. The sort of sick that had your stomach twisting around on itself and making you feel as if any moment an existential amount of vomit would leave your throat if you let your lips part. It was the sort where you knew you weren’t actually going to be sick, it was the sort of sick that was a physical reaction to the turmoil in your mind— even if it felt otherwise.

Your hands fumbled with the few keys on the keyring you had bought too many years ago from a small shop you didn’t remember the name of, your hands searching for the house key to slide into the lock. You just wanted to go home.

Your hands twisted the door handle down and you absentmindedly waited for the sound of barking as the sound of the door opening rang through the empty house, you waited for the pattering of paws against the hardwood floor of the entry way without even realising it.

It never came and the sick feeling created a hole in your gut.

You tugged off your coat, hanging it up as you took in the scent, the candle you had been burning before leaving for the case three days ago, still leaving a sweet lingering scent floating around the walls of your house, you expected the smell to be comforting and refreshing after a long day but it only caused your chest to tighten.

You made your way to the kitchen, keys discarded somewhere on the counter you paid no mind to, your hands shaky as you reached for a glass, filling it up with water from the tap. You tried to ignore the overwhelming silence that filled the walls, leaving an empty place in your heart. The glass of water was half drank and forgotten on the counter as your elbows came to rest against the cold marbled tops, head held in your hands, trying to focus on anything other than the ache that took over every single aspect of your body, and the thoughts that overcame your mind.

You didn’t know how long you were standing like that, it felt like hours, letting the silence leave room for your minds to be louder, you considered turning the tv on to full volume just for some sort of background noise — before there was a soft knock at the door.

You were tempted to ignore it as you stood up straight and shuffled towards the door, but also part of you ached for some sort of conversation regardless of who was on the other side of the door, or what they wanted, so you opened the door to reveal the last person you were expecting, your coworker, Spencer reid.

“Hi” He mumbled out almost sheepishly as his hand came to the back of his neck, as if he hadn’t just spent the last three days working with you, along with the last few years on top of that. Maybe this was different for him because it was outside of work, maybe he was just nervous to see you, maybe he was excited — Maybe you were trying to think about anything other than what was actually on your mind.

Your eyebrows dipped, taking in his expression as you wet your lips — too dry beforehand to talk. “Spencer, What- What are you doing?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you because what was he doing at your house?

He huffed slightly, lifting his hand a little and your gaze dropped as you took in the bag that he was holding — your bag. “You- Uh- You left your bag” He said, eyes trailing over your features, taking in every expression on your face. Your eyes widened slightly at the realisation.

“Oh- I didn’t even realise” You mumbled out, it now dawning on you that you had in-fact been in such a rush you hadn’t grabbed your bag, your coat and keys — yes but your bag no. You were grateful he had realised and thought it was important that he returned it, even though you could’ve just got it when you went into work tomorrow morning, it was a sweet gesture.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to bring it — I could’ve gotten it tomorrow” You mumbled out apologetically as he handed you the bag, you took it thankfully. Feeling slightly guilty he had come all the way to your house just to give you the bag you had forgotten, but you appreciated the kindness of the small act of service.

He looked down for a moment, his shoulders rising and falling in a soft shrug, “Its no big deal- And um- I was worried about you.” He deadpanned the end of his sentence as his head lifted to try and gauge your reaction, seeing if maybe he had a right to be worried over your stranger behaviour the last few days.

You tilted your head slightly, sure you had been quieter as you tried to drown out the overwhelming dread and displacement you felt over the last few weeks — the feeling you had felt almost the entirety of you life yet just a little more recently, but you didn’t think it was noticeable.

“Oh” It passed through your lips as Spencer slowly stepped inside your house. You wondered if the place felt as un-homely to him as it did it to. You wondered if the silence was as loud for him as it was for you — then you realised it probably wasn’t. You closed the door as he was now inside your house.

“Are you okay?” He asked, taking in the silence of your demeanour that matches the silence of your house.

You let out a huff at the loaded question because technically yes, you were fine. You weren’t seriously ill or doing really horribly mentally — you just felt sick, and out of place in the one space you were supposed to call home. You felt homesick and you didn’t even know where home was, you didn’t know what that feeling felt like. Was it possible to miss something you had never felt?

“What does my house smell like?” You asked, trying to figure out something, like a debate in your mind. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows as he walked further into your space, you followed like a lost puppy — as if this wasn’t your house. You knew he didn’t understand the reasoning of your question and the lack of your answer to his.

“Sweet, but subtle. Its nice” He said, turning his head to look at you as he sat down on the sofa, his full attention on you. You could tell by his body language his focus was on you and you completely. That was overwhelming as well, but you ignored that.

You sat down next to him but keeping a fair distance, your hands resting on your knees as you kept your focus on the way your fingers fiddled with themselves rather than the fact you were pretty sure the more you spoke the deeper the pit in your stomach grew uncomfortably. Taking the the difference of your perception of the scent that filled your house.

“Its making me feel sick” You admitted, your voice quiet.

His lip tucked under his teeth in concern as he tried to catch a glimpse of your expression. You knew it probably wasn’t the candle, or the scent of your house, the silence, or the lack of animal presence that was making you feel sick. It was probably just your own presence in a place that felt so wrong.

“Why?” He asked, trying to understand what about the scent that made you feel sick, knowing the issue most likely ran deeper than that, it was obvious in your avoidance of the question. Your shoulders raised and fell in a shrug as you turned your head to look at him.

“It feels wrong.” You said.

He hummed in understanding, he was tempted to go into the scientific and psychological aspects of scent and familiarity but he decided against it, instead his gaze was gentle as he shuffled to sit up a little straighter. “Just the scent?” He asked, a gnawing feeling at his gut that there was more to it.

You shook your head. “Everything — Just everything feels wrong. I feel wrong, I feel.. Out of place.” You huffed out, voice and words slightly muffled for a moment as you dragged your hands down your face. “Everywhere I go.” You finished.

A frown fell on his lips at the honesty of your words, but he understood more than he cared to admit. “Do you want me to just listen? Give you a solution or a hug?” He asked.

He hated physical touch but he hated seeing you upset way more. Spencer would never admit it but the idea of your touch didn’t seem as bad as everyone else. Not even close.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his gentle and caring response, “Just listen.. For now” You mumbled out, pretty sure you would need a hug at the end of this. You didn’t necessarily want a solution or advice on how to fix what you were feeling, you just needed someone to understand.

He nodded, shuffling as he leant against the back of the couch, eyes lingering on yours with a soft reassuring nod, encouraging you to talk. Spencer was happy to provide you with comfort — even if that just came in the form of listening.

“I just- Constantly feel sick, like in my stomach and I get headaches and its constant, all the time no matter where i am. ill find myself laying in bed and just thinking ‘i want to go home’ when i technically am — if home isn’t here then I don’t know where else it would be” You mumbled out the ramble.

His head tilted as he listened to you talk and express your inner turmoil, heart aching at the knowledge of your pain. Feeling out of place constantly was something Spencer knew all too well. “When was the last time you felt at home?” He prompted, his voice gentle and curious with an overwhelming ache to help.

Your frown deepened as you mulled over his question as if it wasn’t one you had asked yourself a million times, answer always left unfound. “Thats the thing- I don’t know if I ever have.” You spoke honestly.

Your hands ran through your hair as you sat up straighter, full body turning on the couch so you were facing him. “I buy new candles every week, new blankets and pillows, i rearrange my furniture, i move houses — all to try and find a resemblance of something i don’t know, i’ve ever experienced.”

It wasn’t a lie; ever since you had moved out of your childhood house, away from your family. you signed short leases and would stay until they were over — even if offered to extend you were searching for somewhere that made you feel a little less out of place between the walls. You would rearrange furniture from a memory you could never see clearly enough — maybe because it wasn’t a real memory instead a false representation of what something was suppose to feel like.

The comforters on your bed changed monthly, even sooner, you were buying new bedding and new cushions because nothing was quite right, nothing matched what you wanted in your head, how could it when you weren’t even sure what it was?

“Im sorry” He frowned out, his words sincere and genuine. Like he genuinely hated hearing to know you were feeling this way. He wanted to help you understand the realistic image your mind was creating, an unrealistic expectation of a feeling, but he didn’t want it to come across wrong or in an attempt to invalidate. He was also sure you already knew that this wasn’t realistic or sustainable.

He knew this wasn’t a way anyone should live their life, especially you. But he also knew he was a little bit biased.

“Could it be something from your childhood?” He asked, voice gentle and caring as he tried to help you understand the inner struggle you were facing. Everyday.

You shook your head as you didn’t even need to think about that, “No. God no.” You huffed out, running your hand through your hair again, an overwhelming need to do something with your hands. “That- I remember what that felt like — thats not- I don’t- I wouldn’t, No. I don’t want that feeling, that feeling isn’t what I’m looking for. The only thing even remotely the same is its like I am expecting my dog at the door everyday when I get home — and i miss chaos, I can’t stand silence anymore.”

Your mind filled with memories of the chaos of your childhood, not the good sort. Not the sort of siblings running around and playing with imaginary friends or laughing loudly at a kids show playing on the tv.

No, it was more like yelling of parents and arguments constantly drowning out any other possible noise, glass and dishes shattering when things got a little bit too intense, doors slamming and your mothers sobs in the other room.

Spencer didn’t need to pry further into the inner workings of your mind, not to know that whatever you had experienced when you were younger clearly wasn’t a good memory. He also could tell by your reaction, and other context clues because — he knew you better than he’d admit, you weren’t exactly fond of your childhood.

“Sometimes people who grow up around chaos grow to hate loud surroundings, noises, too much people or chaos in general. Other people, like you — learn to thrive in it, find comfort in chaos, especially if it’s all you know. Silence and awkwardness is uncomfortable because it’s unfamiliar. Thats understandable.” Spencer nodded as he spoke, unable to stop the facts rolling off his tongue.

Your heart soared slightly, here he was offering you comfort in the most beautiful way. He was validating, understanding, and truthful in every word that left his lips. He was also offering advice in his comfort without even realising he was doing it. You needed chaos, you needed background noise, and people. It didn’t have to be yelling or doors slamming, just sound, any sound that offered you an escape from the dangers of your own mind.

“I want to get a dog” You mumbled out gently, in response to his words even if it was an indirect response. His head nodded, as his eyes studied your face. You ignored the fact you were being profiled right now by him.

“I think thats a good idea” He said his voice gentle. Validating, understanding. “I know this feeling its horrible, and feels never ending. the feeling of being ‘Home’ Is subjective, depending on the person feeling it. Home doesn’t have to be a place, nor does it have to be a candle scent, or a certain type of bedding. Its whatever makes you feel comfortable, and safe. Free to feel what you need to feel and be whoever you need to be. It feels different for everybody.” He said gently, his hand reaching out.

You took it as you mulled over his words, letting your mind take focus of the feeling of his fingers gently trailing down the veins on the back of your hand before brushing softly over your knuckles, the touch offering more comfort than you thought humanly possible.

You knew he was right, trying to find a feeling created purely by your imagination and a memory that didn’t exist was silly and you only set yourself up by failure by doing so time and time again. Home wasn’t supposed to be something so demanding.

“Can I have that hug now?” You asked, peering up at him. Voice quiet. He let out a soft laugh and nodded his head almost instantly, his arms spread as his hand intwined with your gently tugged you closer. You shuffled on the couch, hand loosing his as your arms wrapped under his arms, resting against his back as your head found place on his chest. His hands instantly wrapped back around you, rubbing soft smoothing circles over your shirt.

You allowed yourself to let your mind wander away, instead focusing on the warmth of his arms and the smell of him, your mind blanking out all unrealistic expectations and thoughts, all made up memories and feelings that hadn’t yet to exist, instead you just focused on the feeling of Spencer.

And for the time being, the pit in your stomach began to fill with him rather than homesickness.

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vampirae · 10 months ago

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Astrology knowledge + personal notes

Disclaimer! Some paragraphs are pure astrological knowledge, others are just mine personal opinions and experiences. Experiences aren't universal, it may apply to some and not to others.

You don't feel like the 4th house is accurately describing your family dynamics or traumas? Nice, then look at your 2nd house. The 4th house talks about your family, but mostly about your roots, generational trauma, your country, your literal home etc. Meanwhile the infamous 2nd house associated always exclusively with money, in reality is linked directly to your childhood, your family dynamics/setting, values or traumas they gave you, also your literal future family etc. E.g. Venus in the 2nd house is associated with being spoiled or likely to be giving gifts or favours, but why? Probably because in their childhood caregivers tried to "buy their love" so they associate gifts to being loved. Look at the planets in your 2nd house, its ruler, and the aspects etc.

Cancer sun men, usually tend to be cheap or stingy, literally, never met a Cancer sun man in my life who isn't so, if they behave differently it's usually because it suits their own personal agenda, or try to manipulate you.

Aries moon women tend to post absolutely gorgeous photos, they're so artistic, and know how to take or edit photos or videos.

Cancer rising is so funny, relatable or friendly, they naturally attract people or masses, they're charismatic in their own way, but they tend to be private and dislike when people invade too much of their personal space without permission; some will cut you immediately off, others will be waiting patiently for you to finally understand you're being inappropriate, literally no in between.

Moon in the 12th house, from my own personal experiences, terrible friends. Likely to be great companions if you want to get high or drink or talk about whatever without being judged, but literally avoid them in "no chill time". Extremely manipulative, always victim of the circumstances, helpless and problematic. Briefly, if you don't want to find yourself being a free therapist for hours, a free ATM or parenting a whole ass adult, just avoid getting closer to them. On the other hand, great and sacrificial lovers, but vampiric succubus as friends. (To the people asking me which 12th house moon hurt me, well too many my darling, this is why they're on my blacklist).

When it comes to raw sexual libido mars in fall and detriment are the ones most usually labelled with low libido, which is true, but still in my opinion and experiences they're not on the same level. Mars is Cancer is the one with the highest libido between the three, then Libra and last Taurus. Furthermore men with this mars (the aforementioned) are more prone to have issues with their, ahem, "friend". But, gladly, they also have wild fantasies and are more prone to compromise or satisfy their partner's desires. E.g. if you want them to be dominant, they'll try their best to be your Master/Daddy etc. Last but not least, despite being "shy" and at first look traditional, they're more open to use toys or try new sex positions if it's your will, but won't share you (so threesome or orges literally it's a big NO if they truly love you).

Sagittarius and Cancer placements are competitive AF, but the last one will give up if they're gonna lose or act uninterested, or just whine in the corner about how life is unjust with them. Sagittarius placements, will look chill and playful, but they're extremely competitive, not only because of the prize, but it's a great opportunity to learn something new, or master some of their skills, or just an adrenaline shot. Literally, they're second to Aries when it comes to competing, yet people are unaware of this nature because of their nonchalant and sometimes dumbass vibes/behaviour.

Talking about Sagittarius placements again, when they're labeled as funny, don't think they're master at telling jokes or giving clever clapbacks, in fact, earth signs are masters of this type of humour. Sagittarius placements are funny because of their spontaneous nature: like saying some weird or shocking things with a serious face, or doing some WTF stuff, literally they're funny in original ways and something you never expected. With time they'll acquire a more "normal" sense of humour, but usually they're memorable for their unexpected humour.

Virgo really needs some structure or specific goals or tasks. They could have a hard time with unspecific projects, games or work, they'll literally stay there like a NPC waiting for your interaction or order, analysing the situations, outcomes and necessities.

Libra placements are charming and a good company, their indecisiveness is forgivable most of the time, until you have to work with them. It can be so stressful sometimes to work with or under a Libra (sun, rising or mars), you never know when they'll change their idea again or return to an old project, or what you have to do. I'm sorry to say it, but they're problematic bosses and owners. To lift yourself from this curse, there are few options, like changing job or aggressive yet polite confrontation, just to make it clear, next time you won't forgive and neither make you lose your time again, because it's the only resource you can't buy or restore.

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differentclasss · 1 year ago

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She's my Best Friend! Neil Lewis x Reader

warnings: smut and fem reader :)

a/n: requested by @mrkdvidal1989! thank you so much for the request and thank you for being patient! this was so much fun to write! just a little friends to lovers one shot. cross posted on ao3 0:)

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ

You met Neil Lewis when you still wore pigtails and he still had cartoon bandages on his scraped-up knees. If memory served, it was in Mrs. Jones's fourth-grade class when you met. The two of you were close as can be after that, a duo that was always hip to hip. You grew up with him practically, playing in each other's childhood houses and always being each other's partners in class projects when you shared the class. Compared to other friendships that faltered throughout the years, Neil and yours were unwavering. Throughout odd middle school phases and high school turmoils, you remained friends. It was a nice and comforting friendship.

When high school came and went, you remained close. He opened up a video store called Gumshoe Video and you ended up near him. It was a little cute, to have a friendship that kept you so close to each other. You worked at the video store part-time once he had opened it. Still being at each other’s hips after all these years safe to say made some people assume you two were dating. Both of you would blush, you always assumed out of embarrassment, and then would quickly dismiss the idea. Waving your hand with a girlish smile, saying, “Oh no, we’re just real close.” Neil usually looked wildly uncomfortable in these situations.

You didn’t know but Neil had been nursing a crush on you for as long as he could remember. It had been so long that he hardly remembered a time when he didn’t want to kiss you and say nothing but sweet things to you. As these types of stories usually go, however, he would rather die than tell you. It made him anxious to think about telling you and watch your face melt into a look of pity as you started to mumble apologies that you didn’t feel the same way because he was sure that was the only way it would go. Knowing he was too chicken shit to tell you these feelings he had for you, he went for the next best thing and dated girls that reminded him of you. It wasn’t to say he dated girls that were your doppelgangers, they all just had one or two features that were reminiscent of you. Maybe she would have the same hair color or maybe she would have the same taste in music as you, but it still didn’t make up for the fact that they weren’t you. These relationships never lasted long on the account that Neil hoped that one day you would turn to him and confess your love for him. So far that hasn't been the case. With all things considered though, Neil was happy you were his friend. Even if it was painful to know that as deeply as he wanted you, it just wouldn’t work out. He assumed you were interested in someone else or just didn’t feel the same way. He kept it hidden well, you were none the wiser.

You had your own feelings for him. These were so well hidden and repressed that you were pretty sure you could your whole life without him ever knowing. It was how it ought to be, you thought, if he knew everything would be different. There was no use in changing something that good and pure like your friendship with Neil. You choose to let your feelings for him pass you by and focus on other aspects of your life.

Working part-time at Gumshoe was very low-key for you, you would help a few customers, restock tapes and DVDs, and you were always at those themed nights Neil would throw. It was more like you poorly paid time to hang out with Neil. You would tease him and say he was practically paying you to hang out with him. You didn’t mind though, it was fun. You loved film just as much as Neil did, well, maybe a little less but the appreciation for film was there nonetheless. It was one of your favorite things to do when someone would come in asking for recommendations based on one of their favorites.

On a slow Sunday afternoon, Neil and you were in the store together, you were leaning against the counter with your elbows propping you up as you flipped through a magazine and Neil was going through returned video tapes. The door opened with a ring and a guy you had not seen before walked in. You peeked your head up from the magazine and greeted him with the same spiel you did for all the customers.

“Hi, welcome to Gumshoe Video.” You chirped. “Anything you’re looking for in particular today?”

“Yeah actually,” The young man responded, stepping towards the counter. “I’m looking for a movie like Requiem for a Dream.”

“Oh,” You hummed and straightened out your back as you thought for a moment. “Have you seen Trainspotting?”

“I’ve heard of it,” He told you. “Never saw it before, though.”

You nodded and told him you were pretty sure the store had a copy of it. As you went to the aisle it should be in, he followed behind you. You made some small talk with him about films and whatnot as you searched for it. You learned his name was Jack and he had moved here not long ago. He even got a few laughs from you through some easy jokes. You thought he was nice, possibly flirting with you, and he looked alright. The video store normally brought in a very specific type of guy and this Jack character was nothing of the sort. You might’ve described him as charming if he wasn’t a customer. You just couldn’t entertain the idea of that as cute as he was.

You listened to a few more of his little flirtations and teased him as you got his membership sorted and sent him on his way. He told you he’d be sure to tell you his thoughts on the movie next time he came in. After you had checked him out you went back to your magazine that was still sprawled out on the counter and looked to your right as you felt Neil's presence.

“Flirting on company time?” He asked with a little irritated tone.

“I see it as guaranteeing we get that tape back,” You said light-heartedly. “We only have one copy of that one.”

“That guy was a total ass,” Neil said and looked over at the television set that was quietly playing a movie he had already seen a dozen times. “I don’t know why you even entertained him with all that hair twirling and giggling.”

It didn’t occur to you that Neil could be jealous of a guy like that. He surely could’ve seen it was nothing but lighthearted conversation. You were starting to think he was acting strange. It made no sense to you why he was though, you just found the whole thing weird.

“Well, I’ll let you know when we get a date set for the wedding.” You joked and Neil rolled his eyes. “He proposed to me in the aisle right next to our copy of The Shining. It was so very romantic.”

“Very funny.” He responded with some annoyance that you didn’t understand.

“You can be the ring bearer if you’d like.” You offered one final joke and watched as he sighed and went to his office, leaving you a bit dumbfounded.

What the hell was his problem?

The next few days you tried to pay no mind to Neil's moody behavior. He would scoff and sigh when you would even just help a male customer. It was starting to get on your nerves, you thought that maybe he was just nervous and that if you had a romantic suitor that would mean less time spent between you two. His behavior didn’t register to you as jealousy, you just figured he was anxious. In your mind, there was no green-eyed monster here. Just some weird guy thing, you figured. After all, you never would’ve expected Neil to have an inkling of romantic feelings for you. You had your own feelings for him, some that you constantly dismissed. It would ruin the dynamic and ruin a decade-long friendship. That was something you just weren’t willing to fuck up. No way. You instead had long decided to ignore these feelings and focus on others. Sometimes, as much as you resented this attraction, all you wanted to do was kiss him till both of your lips were puffy and sore.

Neil was acting stranger and stranger, for him these feelings of attraction towards you were just boiling over now. He knew he was acting stupid and that he had no reason to be so full of disdain for guys who came into the video store and made you laugh.

It wasn’t like you were his, as much as he wanted you to be. Instead of acting on these feelings, he chose to just be dismissive and cold to anyone who was flirting with you or even being friendly. He would sit and brood over you being friendly with customers. It was just such a slap in the face to him to watch you engage in a playful and flirtatious demeanor around other men.

One night, a little past closing time, you had enough of his pouting. The two of you were cataloging the last of some new films that Neil had found at a garage sale in his office. It was painfully quiet between you two. You would glance up at him and he wouldn’t look up. As you went through a crate and checked a VHS tape for any water damage or cracks, Neil sighed and broke the silence.

“Any updates on how your guy liked Trainspotting?” Neil asked with a bit of a condescending tone.

“Oh, fuck off,” You snapped and quickly dropped the tape back into the box and looked at him in the eyes. “Why are you so bent out of shape over me interacting with customers? Would you rather me be a bitch to them?”

“I'm not.” He snapped back. The gears in his head started to turn as he searched for a proper excuse. “I just don’t think it’s professional, that’s all.”

“Professional?” You repeated. “God, Neil, You’re being an ass.” You sighed and lifted your hands and then quickly brought them to your thighs with a pat that was followed by a defeated sigh.

“And the guys you flirt with aren’t?” He asked and looked back down at the crate.

“Jesus Christ.” You muttered and started to walk out of the office.

As you walked out and opened the door, Neil didn’t stop you, which made the whole thing much worse. You felt like you were losing your best friend with no reason why. In one last effort for him to grab you and tell you that he was sorry, you looked at him before you closed the door. You locked eyes and then he just shrugged and went back to the tapes. With your ego severely diminished you left Gumshoe and already started to worry about the next time you would return.

You avoided Neil like a bad TV movie for the next few days. Honestly, you didn’t know what was going on between you two. What used to be your safe friendship was suddenly falling apart right before your eyes. You couldn’t help but hate yourself for it, even though as far as you knew, Neil was just being a prick. Wherever this sudden bout of moodiness that Neil exerted came from you didn’t know, all you knew was that the friendship was treading into unfamiliar hostile territory. You grew wary of seeing him again on the account that it may turn into another argument, one you didn’t have the patience to withstand. It was childish, you only hoped Neil was aware of that as well.

Neil waited for you to return to the video store, already having an apology in hand for when you walked in. That never came to fruition. He decided that the best thing to do would be to go to your house without a warning, just in case you decided to leave once you heard his call. On he went, armed with nothing but his words and his feeling of self-loathing for how he acted. You were right of course, he knew he was acting like an ass. He had no idea how he would make it up to you but he was determined. Neil nervously waited outside your small house with his hands in his pocket after he knocked. In a last-minute act of cowardice, he thought to ditch the whole idea and let your friendship figure itself out but he stayed steady once he heard your footsteps approach and the lock open.

“Neil,” You said somewhat surprised, “What's up?” You looked awkward and tense. He was severely regretting coming without a call ahead.

“Uh, I thought I’d come over and apologize for… You know.” He explained.

“Right,” You nodded. “Come in.”

Neil had been inside your home many times, hell he even helped paint it when you first got it some years ago, but he felt weirdly uninvited as he stepped inside. It wasn’t any different from the last time he had come in, a mix-match of thrift store furniture and your turntable droning in the distance. It was how it always had been yet it felt so different. This all very well could have been psychosomatic on his end. You shut the door behind him and looked up at him curiously.

“Listen, I know I’ve been acting like a total ass. I’m sorry.” He quickly spoke. “I don’t know why I was even so jealous over random customers and…”

“Jealous?” You asked, turning your head to the side. “Why would you be jealous?”

Neil’s entire face went pink and his eyes went wide. He started to mumble a few words about his poor choice of words.

“Not like that… I just uh, you know, get nervous about you getting bored of me if you had a boyfriend.” It was a piss-poor excuse but it was all he could come up with. You didn’t say anything in return, just looking up at him with a face of confusion.

“I wasn’t bored of you when I dated that one guy a few years ago.” You recounted.

“Yeah, but that was years ago.” He sighed. “Things change and I just don’t want to lose you. Uh, or our friendship.”

“You don’t need to worry about that Neil,” You said and looked up at him with a bashful smile. “I’ll always make time for you.”

Neil looked around as he thought about what to say. He knew if he didn’t get to say what he wanted to, this whole situation would just happen again. You looked up at him as he looked around nervously and you sensed something more through his words. You lightly placed your hand on his and looked up at him.

“Neil…” You said softly, grabbing his attention. “What’s going on here? Is everything okay?”

“I just…” He stammered and then sighed. “I like you a lot and I hate to see you go for guys that are like that.”

“I can manage myself, Neil,” You said with a soft smile. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

You didn’t get what he had said, at least not how he wanted you to get it. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

“No, I know I just…” He trailed off and then gained his train of thought back. “I like you as more than just a friend. I’ve liked you like that since I was like… fifteen.”

To his horror, you didn't respond and you just looked up at him with a face he couldn’t read. He was sure he had screwed it all up now. You were just trying to process everything, it was like a dream come true and you had to make sure you weren’t asleep. Words failed you at the moment.

“I… Yeah.” He awkwardly responded to your silence. “I can go now if you’d like.”

You grabbed hold of his wrist as he started to walk away, there was no way in hell you would let this chance go or just drop it. You felt the same way and you just had to communicate it. Why was it so hard? You knew you were just scared, scared that this could be a cruel joke or some sort of terrible prank. You tried to be brave and push those thoughts away, Neil wouldn’t do that to you. You remained anxious either way though.

“No,” You said softly. “Please, stay.”

“I will.” He responded. “Just don’t drag it on, please, do you feel the same way?”

“I do,” You nodded and felt him step closer to you. “I never… I never thought you liked me like this. I always thought you just saw me as a friend.” You admitted and he looked at you with a rush of relief.

“You don’t know how happy that makes me, God…” He smiled and shook his head lightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You practically whispered.

You had told him you loved him before, like all friends do, but this was so much different than all those past lazy declarations of love. There were instances when you had left and just let it slip out, telling him, ‘Love you!’ As you left or parted ways. All those times before you had left out the ��I’ which had never registered to you as strange till you heard yourself saying the phrase in full. It seemed much more intimate with that single-word inclusion. He must’ve noticed too because he brought you closer, his hands on your hips right above the hem of your jeans, and kissed you softly. You choked on your surprise and melted into it, feeling like everything at that moment was okay. One of his hands sneaked up to the nape of your neck as he guided you along with his kiss.

“Is this okay?” He asked as he parted from the kiss.

“Yes, of course.” You nodded and chased after another kiss.

The second kiss seemed to have a lot more passion behind it and way more intent too. You couldn’t help but want this moment to go on forever or at least for as long as it could go on. The whole place was quiet except for your and Neil’s breathing and the little moans of appreciation that would escape your lips from time to time. Neil's hand slipped under your t-shirt and snaked its way to your spine. Feeling his skin on yours made you shiver. You had wanted this for so long and it was finally happening. Your body was pressed against his and you could feel yourself already getting worked up over the small amount of contact. You pulled back with puffy lips coated in saliva and blinked a few times.

“I can’t believe you feel the same way.” You said in awe. “I wanted this for so long.”

“Me too.” He responded shakily. “I wanted so much with you for a long time.”

“Like what?” You asked innocently, despite already knowing what he wanted based on what was poking you. He laughed breathlessly.

“You’re such a tease.” He chuckled and brought you in for another kiss.

Words weren’t needed for a while, you had kissed each other and explored over the shirt for a while. Eventually, both of you were so worked up that you stumbled to your room in between kisses and praises. You sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at him as he stood above you, looking at you with total adoration. He held his hand on the bottom of your chin and smiled, it was pretty obvious he couldn’t believe this was happening either. He sat down beside you and kissed you again, you climbed on top of his lap and settled yourself there. As you straddled him, your hips rocked against him, causing him to curse and hold your hips tightly. You playfully rolled your hips again causing him to struggle out a laugh as he tried to compose himself. He roughly kissed your neck and pulled you underneath him, keeping you pushed flat against the mattress. You groaned and exhaled while looking up at him, feeling a sense of excitement for what was to come.

With the both of you so worked up, it amazed you that your clothing was still on. You grasped at his shirt and tugged it off of him and he returned the favor. Soon both of you were in nothing but your undergarments, seeing him without his clothes on made you blush. You could hardly concentrate on anything else as he kneaded your breast with his hand, making you whimper slightly.

“Perfect,” He mumbled. “You’re so perfect.”

You moaned out his name and lifted your hips to his, desperate for some sort of friction. You could’ve cried you were so needy already. He hardly touched you and you were this worked up. He slipped one of his hands into your panties and dragged his finger down your slit, feeling how wet you were as his other hand worked on your tit.

“Neil,” You breathlessly responded. “Feels good…”

He seemed pleased to already see you so ready and adoring. He was finally getting what he had got off to for years, it was so much better in person. All of his masturbatory fantasies were nothing compared to this. Feeling you hot under his hands and how you called his name could’ve made him come right there. He held off, focusing on your pleasure more than anything. With a few more circles around your clit and kisses to your neck, he listened as your moans became more struggled and as your body twitched underneath him. He looked up at you as you came because of his fingers.

“I could’ve been doing this ages ago,” He softly purred. “I always wanted to make you come like that.”

“Jesus, Neil…” You said after you had caught your breath. “I need you.”

“I’m right here,” He said softly as he kissed your mouth again and slipped your panties fully off and his boxers down much to your delight.

He didn’t take long lining himself up with your hips. He slowly entered you, wanting to take his time with it. Your moans and his moans created a soft erotic scene. His hands grabbed your hips as he pulled you closer, wanting there to be limited space between you two. His movements were slow and sweet, hitting you just right every time. He stretched you out beautifully like your body was made just for him. When you scratched at his back, he couldn’t help but let his thrusts grow a bit quicker. You kissed him wherever possible as he fucked you, the kisses growing sloppier and sloppier with every thrust. You were going to come again soon, already feeling that warm sensation growing again.

“I’m gonna come.” You warned him in a whisper.

“Me too.” He grunted into your ear.

Neil started fucking you much faster than before, making you cry out. Your hands moved to grab any part of him you could. As you felt his cock go in and out of you, you grew hot all over. You couldn’t help but cry out and feel like your body was out of your control.

Neil took one of his hands from your hips and brought it to your clit, causing you to hiss in response as your orgasm approached for the second time. You dropped your head back and came with a rush of moans and curses eliciting from your lips. As you clenched around him, he came too. You felt him come inside, too turned around to care, and watched as his jaw went slack and he panted. His movements slowed as he pumped himself into you, breathing heavily as he came down.

You both lay in your bed afterward, bodies sweaty and intertwined. You did not worry about the consequences this could bring, all that mattered was that you finally had him. After a long time of not knowing and the anxiety your mutual crush had brought, you were finally together. It was a bittersweet moment, knowing you both wasted so much time not doing what you both had wanted in fear that one of you didn’t feel the same way. You tried to not think about the time that had passed, instead focusing on the current time. Neil was lying beside you, his eyes heavy with sleep, and for that moment, you were all that filled his thoughts.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ

thank you for reading!

#neil lewis smut #neil lewis x reader #watching the detectives #neil lewis x y/n #neil lewis x you

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fic-heaven · 7 months ago

Note

Enemies to lovers with König and witty reader? I don't know if you also write about him so imma leave this here

Answering two anons at the same time lmao

Say my name (König x witty! Reader)

Pt.2 now!

🐥 The first time König appeared on my drafts was when I was making my last Reyes x Reader fic and um... I kind of wanted to keep doing lmao so here it is. Sorry for my broken English-

Angst/ SOCIAL ANXIETY/ slight nsfw/ open ending (if you guys want a part two and this short gets some attention)

⚠️ I still picture König as Lee Pace ⚠️

They say you transfered from SpecGru to KorTac because you simply wanted a change of airs. But it couldn't be that simple. Why were you so simple?

As antisocial as he seemed to be, König was well aware that a bond between teammates was needed in order to sync and function properly during missions. He wasn't the best at striking up conversations and never intended to improve on this aspect either, often trying to figure people out from the distance, he only approached them if he had questions about their character. Horangi once said it was weird but König frankly didn't care about what was socially accepted or not, he just made the effort to know his team because it was expected of him, and as great as it would be to have friends, he struggled socializing and had given up trying ages ago. König was paid to kill, not to make friends. And as far as his interactions went with his teammates, the only one who gets his game and could be considered his friend is Horangi. But you?

He had tried to investigate you, even going as far as using his position as colonel to gather as much information from your background to understand you without having to make any awkward approach. But nothing he found explained why you changed factions or why you behaved the way you did. You had a normal childhood, went to a good school, graduated being top of your class... Jesus you had a rabbit called Mr. Whiskers, even the deepest info given was borely normal. No trace of trauma or any mental disorder.

König begun studying you like a biologist would to a newfound species and got more and more invested and frustrated the more information he gathered, because he simply couldn't excuse your... Well, your everything.

He approaches you one time during morning drills, looks you up and down as you stretched, ignores the flirty comment you shot his way, because what the fuck is your problem? You don't know him. Then König proceeded to mouth the first thing he ever said to you, one of the main questions he had on his head as to why you would behave so strangely. And it goes like this: "Do you have any mental illness, hm?"

"I might have, yeah."

And you said it so casually. Do you, though? Are you being sarcastic or... God he hates you. Why can't he figure you out!? Why do you smile at him so much? Why do you flirt so much with him? Do you flirt with the others the way you do with him?

That new question made him observe your body language around others and listen carefully to any interaction you had and found nothing but your enchanting witty self. Of course you teased other members, but never so bluntly like the way you flirt with him. The colonel felt weirdly relieved at this. Maybe he liked the attention given? Scratch that, or course not!

One time after a tiring mission in Barcelona, Spain, König approached you with a bottle of water, you thanked him with a wink and he watched you swallow the whole thing before he proceeded to ask you the second question that plagued his mind: "Do you perhaps hide some secret trauma that permanently changed your behaviour, using sarcasm, smirks and jokes to protect your scared inner child in order to not get hurt again?"

"Hmmm... The day I found out my mother was Santa Claus I went bananas, but I wouldn't say it scarred me for life. Do ya want an M&M, colonel?"

He fucking hates you. He hates you. König aggressively snatched a handful of M&M's and stormed away. That night he swore he could hear your laugh echoing inside his head. Why couldn't you leave his fucking mind? What was it with you? Were you doing it on purpose?

_____

You were definitely doing it on purpose.

You have to be patient with König. But he was so hilarious and scary, it thrilled you to watch the two meter tall behemoth of a man walk near you and sneak watchful, calculated glances your way when he thought you weren't looking. If someone dared to ask, you'd easily answer with the honesty everyone knew you posses: You'd fuck König without a thought.

He's so feral in battle, so demanding and intimidating on the comms. His ridiculous voice made him all the more adorable contrasting with his appearance. Oh fuck that. Even his appearance was ridiculous, he looked like the red guy from that creepy show called "Don't hug me, I'm scared" or one of those executioners from the Shrek movie. But he was HOT, with that slutty waist accentuated by his bulky back, those long slender arms that could lift anything on his way, you saw him lift a fucking car a few inches so an injured woman could scape, and as she cried of relief you could feel your pussy crying as well at the sight. And oh his hands... The way he used them, so elegantly but rough, they'd make a beautiful necklace. His voice, as unfitting as it sounded coming from this KorTac monster, made you itch to hear more, his accent was so attractive that it quickly made you addicted to sound of it and your brain pondered on how he'd sound while doing other things. Lucky you, when the stars aligned and you two coincided in the gym you made sure to be close enough to hear the quiet grunts and sighs from the colonel as he trained, to your surprise he never moved away as if he knew what you were doing and thought nothing much of it. Safe to say, you'd gladly eat whatever interaction König graced you with with a speck of salt.

______

Though, when you begun paying attention to the details (because it was hard to guess his deal without seeing his face) You noticed a few hints about the colonel that indicated he had a severe case of social anxiety. The way he self isolated, how he forced himself to interact with people resulting in very awkward conversations that led to him coming up as rude to what he got frustrated and scaped the situation, how he loved his job because you were convinced that he thought he was only good at killing.

That made you wonder if he had other hobbies... It's funny to imagine a tall, muscly guy like him baking or making origamis.

Today you saw the ultimate sign that your big crush wasn't a people's person.

You directed all the attention to König by asking a number of things, (obviously work related) that caught the attention of everyone in the room taking the poor colonel by surprise, his cristal blue eyes widened for a minute before he composed himself answering everything you asked with a professional tone until you spotted the tremble on his hands, poor König noticed your attention drift to his hands so he slid them under the table. That's how you knew it. He couldn't handle being the center of attention for prolonged amounts of time. Your poor baby...

You two were on a meeting with some other KorTac members. König was peeling an apple and had finished it rather quickly as all of you spoke, but he spent ten minutes with the carcass of the fruit slowly browning and drying on his hand, so you decided to test your theory by walking to the near trashcan to throw a random paper you crumbled quickly, after a few seconds König abruptly stood up to throw the dried fruit remnant, the tall Austrian glanced your way before he sat again and kept to himself.

Okay, so judging by this and how stiff he looks, König doesn't know exactly what to do with his body around people, he needed an excuse to stand up and throw the finished apple so he waited for anyone to use the trashcan to go after, BUT he waited a few seconds to stand so he wouldn't look like he was waiting. Must be stressful to be on his shoes. Interesting, but maybe you were overthinking too much, so you decided to do a final test that would definitely tell you if what you thought was right. You didn't want to come to this unless it was really necessary... But you'll probably have to apologize later.

You gave him a sympathetic look that again took him by surprise, but by that time König had called the meeting over, gathered his things and walked out before you could approach him.

Damn you and your stupidly beautiful voice and worried eyes trying to comfort him discreetly.

Gloved hands fidgeted with the bracelet on his wrist. König remembers the little girl who gifted him said thing. The day him and his team rescued her and some other orphans from a building about to explode, the worried colonel spent a few minutes comforting the little girl until she pulled the orange bracelet from her small SpongeBob backpack, he chuckled at the gesture and had never taken it off since. They even shared some letters from time to time, he held a piece of little Astrid in the form of a cute bracelet and she held a piece of him in the form of sweet spoken letters.

König saw her kind eyes in yours and it squeezed his heart so much he felt suffocated. Why would a teasing little vixen like you have such kind, gorgeous eyes? It was weirdly comforting that someone would look at him so softly like he wasn't a monster for once after so long.

His heart begun beating faster, his head was so full of questions about you it infuriated him. Long legs carried the colonel to the gym absentmindedly, like his body craved to ease some tension, but at the last minute he turned to the left corridor further from the gym, went to the right and finally approached the shooting range's door.

"Scheibe..." König cursed lowly, he could have very well bursted the door out of it's hinges, his gloved hand (still a bit shaky) took his favorite riffle from the top right corner of the shelf while he shot a backward kick to push the metallic door closed. He spent fourteen minutes shooting targets while mauling at your last interaction, rage swirled his insides and yet he couldn't fully hate you for asking questions, after all it was work-related, and the last soft gaze you gave him spoke volumes that you didn't want to advert all the attention to him out of malice. König was reloading his sniper rifle when he heard a gentle thud indicating someone had entered the room.

"You'd make an amazing sniper." You spoke softly trying not to startle the tense man.

"You come to mock me? Laugh all you like. I'm well aware I'm too huge to be a sniper." He spoke in resentment over his shoulder before redirecting his focused gaze to the target ahead.

"I always say size doesn't matter! As long as you know how to handle your weapon, you'll make any girl blush."

Your dark humour takes König by surprise and he misses the dummy's head, he tries to hold back the chuckle that threatened to spill from his hidden lips. Luckily the shirt he wore as a mask shielded his face enough to make it look like he was holding in a cough or a sneeze but you weren't stupid. When he turns to face you placing the riffle to the near table he gets startled by how close you are, the smirk accompanying your lips as you weaseled close to his very sacred personal space made him curse lowly in his mother's tongue. The tall Austrian stepped back and you rose your hands in mocking defeat.

"Alright, I get it, personal space. Jus' wanted to hear ya laugh..."

"I didn't." He hisses.

"Didn't ya? I thought I heard it, must have been the wind."

Your sarcasm often infuriated König who never seemed to get a good grip on his English, so it was hard for him to detect when you were being serious or just pulling his leg. His hands flex on his sides, tiny waist move side to side as he balances his weight before he crosses his arms and leans his back to the wall. König raises a brow when your smirk morphed into a sincere apologetic smile as you admired his stance six feet apart from him.

"I'm sorry for what happened back there." You said honestly, he sucked in a breath. "Didn't want t' put ya on the spot."

König wasn't shy, he wasn't, but that last line of yours made him feel like it, and it wasn't an ugly feeling? But it was a little uncomfortable, foreign, it squeezed his heart in a weird way, his hands were clammy, he felt strangely light like if it wasn't for his tapping foot on the floor he'd float away. König understood what you were saying and it comforted him that you were on the same page, the weird unsteadiness between the two of you becoming rather unbearable and a constant topic on both your minds, it was relieving that you thought the same way. Suddenly the ugly, unexcused anger he had for you quieted down.

The Colonel's cerulean eyes widen before lowering his gaze to your tank top blinking rapidly. It was easier to listen if he wasn't looking directly at your eyes.

"König..." Your voice was honey making shivers run up his spine and his skin erupt in goosebumps, his hands trembled even when he fisted them on his crossed stance. "Why don't we start again? Call me paranoid, but I feel like there's tension between us and not the type I'd like."

The colonel lifted his hand your way offering you a handshake you took with mirth.

"I'm colonel König. Y-you are...?"

"Goddamn. Ain't your parents bit' egotistical? Namin' their baby boy 'king' in german." You say with a snicker shaking his hand. He takes it back abruptly but you don't flinch. "I'm Sargeant (c/n). My name is (y/n) (l/n). Is König the name written on your birth certificate or were you called somethin' else?" You press teasingly but wary and a bit nervous thinking you were pushing too far.

König is taken aback by this. When was the last time someone had asked the colonel his name?

"I am..." It tasted foreign on his tongue, like he had forgotten the sound of it, the taste of his own name on his tongue. "My name is Andreas Dobler." He said, his eyes meeting yours. "That's... That's my name." His name wasn't König, he remembers the man he left behind all those years back, the man under the dark cloak, before things went to shit, before becoming colonel König.

"Andreas. What a curious name, never heard of it-"

"Say my name again." König interrupts. His voice weak but demanding and desperate. He loved it. He loved the sound of his name on your lips. It was strange, sweet... Arousing, even.

You blinked angling your head up to take a better look at his half-lid eyes. This time König didn't look away, your eyes met and suddenly the ugly tension from before was morphing into another type of tension, your heart beats faster in sync with his. You didn't know you were getting closer until König placed a hand on your waist and then the other, not pushing, not pulling, he simply laid them there and it came so naturally, your playful smile wavered slightly as your hands landed on his shoulders, he shivers. You tilted your head to the side and he was so lost in you, your aroma, your eyes, your lips, your touch, he didn't realize he was returning the head tilt.

Your lips parted, pink tongue darting to hydrate your dry lips until your pearls were visible from the gap, and his eyes catch every movement your mouth makes when you whisper "Andreas."

"Again."

"Andreas-"

"Again..."

"...Andreas..." Your hands slowly move to his chest, his breath hitches. His name has never sounded so sensual whispered by anyone's mouth. You were... You...

"You..." He isn't sure what to say. You are not sure either, suddenly your wit has abandoned you it seems. "You intrigue me." He decides to huff out, accent heavily pronounced.

There's a thousand thoughts swirling on König's mind, he has shared his name but it suddenly didn't feel enough, he wanted to show you who he was, his past, his thoughts, his hopes and dreams, even his face. How can a simple woman like you make König feel so much? Because you were no simple woman. That's why when he felt your small hands slide up his chest to the hem of the shirt that composed his mask, König didn't tense up, in fact, his shoulders relaxed embracing the touch of your fingers gently feeling his neck under the cloth, his stubble, his chin, his high cheeks... Gloved hands grab your wrists.

You stop, still looking up at him noticing the heaving of his chest and how lost in awe his gaze seemed.

"Not yet?"

"I-i... Do not..." Mind. He didn't want to refuse your touch but at the same time it was so overwhelming.

You give a small nod, König lets go of your wrists and you take this opportunity to nuzzle his cheeks, he gasps landing his hands on your waist once more, squeezing the flesh over your tank top. The feeling of your fingers on his face was so foreign it felt like you were touching a piece of his soul.

"Shy lil' thing... Aren't you pretty hiding under there? Maybe you are too beautiful to allow anyone the pleasure of a simple look. Like a sweet Ferrero Roche firmly wrapped and ready to be eaten." You whisper, voice raspy before you chuckle when his Adam's apple bobs with a swallow. Your body is now pressed compleatly against his, your dear colonel's hands tremble on your sides as he fists your tank top. He's nervous, he's shy, but you know he is enjoying this judging by the way his teary, half-lid eyes blink slowly every time you feel and scratch a new inch of skin.

"Don't you worry, darling..." König lets out a small whimper at this. "I'm rushing things ain' I? We were just getting on the first name basis and I had to screw it all..." You wanted to sound apologetic, you promise, but it was so hard when your colonel was practically purring at the feeling of your soft hands scratching his stubble. König was putty on your hands, he has never felt this way. His cheeks burn in embarrassment, he tries to move back but remembers he's already against the wall, and you, a small thing like you have him cornered like a honey badger hunting a mountain lion. His lip wobbles and he tilts his head to the side as he feels your hands massage and explore his neck and jaw in long, gentle motions. The pads of your fingers gracing every inch of his neck muscles.

"...Sag bitte mehr, ich flehe dich an..." (Say more please, I beg you.) König moans out, his german accent sounding strong masking how weak he was feeling at the moment.

He loved your voice, your touch... Your everything. The colonel ran his fingers on your lower back encouraging to continue, meanwhile he very slowly tilted his head higher allowing you more space on his neck to massage and scratch. You chuckle darkly feeling his member poking at your belly, your body instantly pressing harder against his cornered torso.

"You like the sound of my voice, colonel?" You humm, he makes a small noise. "Andreas...?"

His shoulders shake with the force of his shiver, nails digging deliciously on your lower back, you chuckle delighted at the sight tilting his chin to the other side to feel his nape, his ear and some locks of hair. "ich begehre dich..." The Austrian groans, his member now fully erect twitched delighted by the delicious pressure of your torso against it and your soft ministrations to his neck.

Both your radios churr alive until a voice breaks the static, a random operator checking on the comms. König almost knocks you over with how fast he straightened his back and the way his strong grip held you back, his chest heaving fast, eyes wide and vulnerable. You take the opportunity to grab him by the hem of the shirt he uses as a mask.

"Wait-..."

König freezes when he feels cold air hit the heated skin from his neck. You had lifted a portion of the cloth revealing the part you were previously massaging, caressing and scratching just under his chin, careful not to reveal his face. His head moves up to the side trying to hide from your touch, his hands shoot backwards planting on the wall as if a force had taken them from the previous grip he had on you. In truth he was afraid he'd crush your waist.

"I hope you can forgive me colonel... Can't help it..."

There's a long gash on his neck, a very old scar that seemed to be product of a knife fight or even a bullet, it's crocked and it goes up probably to his right ear. You lean close on tiptoes because he couldn't crouch due to how shocked he still felt, and you planted your wet lips on the surface of the sensitive scar. König's throat rumbles with a groan, his powerful hands finally make the move to take you, to cage your body impossible closer to his. A hard roll of his hips make him gasp in relief and you loudly huff when he twirls you to where he was previously caged, his hands soon making small effort to lift you up, both legs wrapped around his waist and he THRUSTS stabbing your cargo pants. You are still kissing, licking and nibbling his neck, your hands explore the long bulky surface of his back, König moans delighted at one particular bite until-

"Oh. Shit."

König turned his head back so fast you are sure it made his neck rotatory, two pairs of eyes look in shock at Horangi who is standing there holding the rifle König had previously left before all of this happened. Your colonel was frozen in embarrassment his shaking hands still held you up and his boner was no longer stabbing you, the thing died at the speed of light when the Korean made presence.

"Jesus Christ. You gonna keep staring or you wanna join us, tiger?"

König snaps his head back at you comically fast, icy eyes glare in surprise, horror and astonishment.

"As fun as that sounds I'll leave you two to your games... 'sides, I don't think you'll be able to handle König alone, imagine the two of us. We'd ruin you." The Korean's response made you laugh enchanted by his wit, he walked out the door in quick strides leaving you two alone once more.

König huffs glaring at the wall behind you. The sudden unwelcome presence of his friend seemed to had robbed the magic from the moment. Your Colonel's body shagged slowly lowering your body, and the moment your heels touched the ground his head leaned down falling to the crock of your neck, the feeling of the warm cloth of his mask made you humm. He kissed your clavicle over his mask and you ran your hands to his shoulders until König slowly retrieved.

He took two steps back, with a very noticeable defeated look.

"Hey. We can keep going whenever yer up to. Don't look at me like that, sweet thing." Your voice carried a playfulness that comforted him from the sudden feeling of defeat.

König couldn't meet your eyes, his voice was shaky "I'm just not like this-..."

"Andreas-"

"DON'T -...!" He barked, startling you both.

It was too much, too sudden, too weird, too suffocating. He liked it at first but... König couldn't put into words what he was feeling right now. He hated that the moment was cut short, he hated that he felt like it was his fault and he hated the way you are looking at him with so much concern like when you two were at the meeting.

"Verzeihen Sie mir." He muttered giving you a final short glance before he rushed out of the place leaving the door open and your startled self still leaning on the wall.

You recognized those words even if you didn't know much of German.

"Forgive me." You translated in a whisper.

Will you?

#call of duty modern warfare #cod #witty reader #konig x reader #konig cod #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig x reader angst

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violetelderberry · 9 months ago

Text

Sims 4: Wonderful Faults Legacy Challenge

General Rules and Requirements:

- There are no pack or mod requirements for this challenge, but you are welcome to use mods to make the gameplay more realistic. - Minimal money cheats allowed; you can use cheats to pay for your first starter home, but otherwise they should be avoided. - Set lifespan to normal; I usually play most of my games on long lifespan, but it could get excessive with the number of generations, so the normal lifespan is a recommendation more than anything. - And lastly, follow all generation requirements, but otherwise decide your own stories or paths for the character for things left unspecified. This challenge was designed to give inspiration while also giving the player certain creative freedoms aside from the main storyline. Have fun with it!

Generation One: The Lonely Author

Your sim has always been a lonely person who was dedicated to their work; they aren't in contact with their parents, and they overwork themselves from the lack of financial help. They struggle to pay for everything on their own, and when they eventually meet their soulmate, they are skeptical to actually engage with them because of their previously lonely life.

Generation Requirements:

- Must start off generation as an independently living teenager - Must have the creative and gloomy traits - Must write at least ten books in your lifespan - Must complete either a romantic or a creative aspiration in young adulthood - Must meet your soulmate but not immediately enter a relationship with them. Must be friends for an extended period of time first. - Must have at least two kids

Generation Two: The Sickly BusinessSim

Your parents tried their hardest at raising you, but they were extremely strict and had a few faults in their relationship, causing you to be an anxious child. You had a few creative talents of your own but decided that you didn't want to pursue a creative career after learning of your parents' struggle, and you eventually settled on going into business.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the clumsy and erratic traits - Must max the business career - Must max guitar, logic, and charisma skills - Must adopt at least one child - Must have at least two failed relationships and never get married

Generation Three: The Exaggerative Lover

You were never really taught much about non-familial relationships in your childhood, so as you got older, you decided to surround yourself with people. You would frequently go out to parties and always make time with your friends, even if there was something that should've prevented you from doing so. You also continued this behavior into your romantic relationships, longing for connection with other people to the point where it got in the way of other aspects of your life.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the romantic and outgoing traits - Must never decline a social gathering or phone call - Must get fired from at least one job due to skipping work to hang out with friends - Must max the charisma skill - Must have at least five long-term friends - Must never go more than a week without a partner after getting their first romantic partner

Generation Four: The Athletic Scholar

You always felt content within the social scene because your parents' openness, and because of this, you had a lot of friends to play basketball with when you were younger. You found a passion for fitness at a young age and never let your academics slip. You balanced your social, academic, and work life very gracefully, but as you really settled into the life of business, you couldn't help but feel like you wanted something more personal and passionate for your career as well.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the active and genius traits - Must be an A student in middle and high school - Must get to level three of the business career before switching over into the athletic career - Must at least get to level five of the athletic career - Must max the fitness skill - Must get married as a young adult and never divorce - Must have a group of life-long friends

Generation Five: The Shy Chef

Your parents' openness and excitement always made you a little bit nervous, but you were thankful for the way they would always help you grow. You started cooking at a young age to find a positive outlet for your emotions, and you absolutely fell in love with it, deciding upon graduation that you wanted to turn your love for culinary skill into a full-blown career, your parents still supporting you every step of the way.

Generation Requirements:

- Must live with your parents until you decide which branch of the culinary career you want to pursue - Must have the loner trait - Must max the culinary career - Must max cooking and mixology skills - Must complete the Master Chef aspiration - Must not have any non-romantic close friends - Must not become interested in flirting until young adulthood

Generation Six: The Snobby Agent

You were always a fan of mischief as a child, pranking and tricking people at every chance you got. Your parents were never very strict, causing you to go unpunished for your behavior. As a young adult, you decided to go into the secret agent career field, the aspect of not being able to tell anyone giving you a thrill, but you weren't aware of the less enthusiastic secrets that would be brought on because of your life path.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the mean and snob traits - Must max the secret agent career - Must max mischief, logic, and athletic skills - Must have at least five enemies and one best friend - Must have a child with a married sim - Must have a negative relationship with at least one family member

Generation Seven: The Gloomy Comedian

You went non-contact with both of your parents as soon as you entered young adulthood, causing you to be pretty financially unstable early on in your life. You were a very unhappy person during your younger years, so you decided to enter the entertainer career to make other people, and hopefully yourself, smile.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the gloomy and goofball traits - Must enter the comedian branch of the entertainer career - Must max the charisma and comedy skills - Must live with a roommate for your entire young adult life - Must not speak to parents (after young adulthood) until you are an adult with your own children - Must marry your best friend and complete the soulmate aspiration

Generation Eight: The Gluttonous Painter

You always allowed yourself to over-enjoy life's pleasantries. You started off life in a very poor position, but your parents earning more money as you grew older caused you to indulge more in the things that you once had an absence of. You are completely content with your life and the cheerfulness that it allows you, but sometimes your indulgence allows other sims to grow frustrated with you.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the glutton, cheerful, and art lover traits - Must reach at least level seven of the painter career - Must have a failed relationship because of the constant need for more - Must take frequent trips to the bar after or before work - Must max the comedy and painting skills and get to level five of three more skills of your choice - Must get married to a sim in the culinary career - Must have the max number of sims in a household by the end of the generation (via children and/or animals)

Generation Nine: The Bored House-Spouse

You were raised to believe that you always deserved everything that you wanted, but as you got older, you realized that you never really knew what you wanted in the first place. Your parents were both very creative, career-oriented people who had so much going on in their lives, but you ended up being a stay-at-home parent with a rich spouse. Although you were thankful that you didn't have to do much, you found yourself not wanting to do anything around the house at all, finding much more entertainment with sneaking out while your spouse was at work and going to hang out with people you knew you shouldn't be around.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the lazy and kleptomaniac traits - Must marry a rich sim (can use cheats to give spouse a good career and house) with the jealous trait - Must have a low (but not negative) relationship with all children - Must befriend a sim in the criminal career - Must never have an official job - Must have a temporarily negative relationship with spouse once they realize that you're never home - Must make up with spouse only after arguing brings your platonic bar into the red

Generation Ten: The Loyal Gamer

You never had a close relationship with your parents. One was always at work, and the other was always running off somewhere else instead of interacting with you, but you know what you did have? A computer. You got into gaming at a really early age, and it wasn't long before you got into programming as well and realized that you could make some money off of it. However, you had another revelation later on in life after you fell in love for the first time: you didn't only want to be motivated by money and excitement like your parents, you wanted to be a good parent and partner while still maintaining your financial and career life.

Generation Requirements:

- Must have the geek, materialistic, and family-oriented traits - Must complete a parenting aspiration - Must only be with one sim for your entire life - Must hack for money as a teenager at least twice - Must max the gaming and programming skills and get the cooking skill to at least level four - Must not have a high relationship with either parent - Must be good friends with all children and pets (if you have that expansion) - Must have both biological and adoptive children - Must either join the eSports section of the Tech Guru career, or the streamer career if you have the High School Years expansion pack - All children must be at least B students in middle or high school by the end of the generation and have their own unique trait combinations and personalities

#ts4 gameplay #ts4 simblr #ts4 legacy #ts4 challenges #ts4 #legacy challenge

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astraysimp · 10 months ago

Text

Meant to Be-9mitm

♡ Hi everyone! I am back with, what is sadly, the last chapter of 9mitm. 🙁

This has been truly such a joy for me to write and I have thoroughly looked forward to each Friday to put these pieces out for you guys. I want to say thank you to everyone who has shown both @straykeedz and I love on this collaboration. It really does mean the world to both of us. HOWEVER, this DOES NOT mean that dad!skz is over. No no, there is so much more to come! I hope you guys will look forward to it! (also me and ms. straykeedz and one of our other dear friends may or may not be planning a collab that will be on my smut page @singsangseung– please look forward to it, IF YOU ARE OF AGE)

I want to give my pookie bear bestie @straykeedz a MASSIVE MASSIVE shoutout though. So, Bee, my bestie, my pookie bear…thank you so so so so much for making this collaboration happen. I remember us initially planning and discussing this baby MONTHS ago and to have finally finished her has been such a dream come true. It has been such a dream and honor and pleasure to work with you on this, pookie. Not only in the writing and collab aspect, but thank you for being my best friend. I genuinely am so glad that we made this happen and have become such close friends, even if we live so far apart. Your writing is so beautiful and i can only hope to be as amazing as you are, one day. You are such a lovely person, through and through. You hold such a dear place in my heart, the binnie to my minnie forever. I love you so so so much, pooks. Hopefully maybe, we shall collab again in the future. But, big big bug hugs and lots of love from me to you, bee!( please don’t cry reading this…..or I’ll cry too….or maybe let’s cry together)

OKAY OKAY OKAY BACK TO THE WRITING,.......just had to simp for my pookie real quick ….DEUCES

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

♡Summary: you didn’t mean to fall in love with your childhood best friend…much less did you expect to have a baby with him

♡Warnings: childhood best friends to lovers! Jeongin, dad!innie, pet names, MARSHMALLOW FLUFF, kinda angst( if you count exes giving I.N and y/n ultimatums), fem!reader, mad I.N, cursing, italicized text refers to the past

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

There was never a point in your life where Jeongin wasn’t there. In fact, he had been in your life since the two of you were still in the womb. Your mothers were best friends, and had somehow gotten pregnant at the same time. That, obviously, meant that the babies(you and Jeongin) would be best friends, as well. Heck, your mothers had a shared baby shower, shared gender reveal party and had managed to give birth a day apart.

So, all in all, you and Jeongin have always been attached at the hip inseparable. (And, your mothers secretly hoped you two would date some day)

Growing up, you were each others’ first friends, other than your siblings. Of course you would be, you two were raised together, practically siblings at that point. It never bothered you, how close you two were. The two of you were two peas in a pod, the peanut butter to the other’s jelly. You were always playing together, laughing together, crying together, sticking up for one another.

The thing was, the older you grew, the more friendly affectionate you got– cuddling, hugs, hand holding, him defending you from bullies– but it was platonic.Or so it seemed at the time, which you wouldn’t realize until later on. You and Jeongin were always adamant on that. But, what you and him saw as platonic others saw as flirting. It being “too close to be just friendly.”

When you and jeongin were in high school, you each had a couple of boyfriends or girlfriends. And, every time they had given you or him the ultimatum of me or them. And without a shadow of a doubt, every time, you had chosen one another. Claiming, “boyfriends and girlfriends come and go. But, we’re forever,” and forever, you were.

One memory, however, was clear in your mind. Jeongin had been dating his girlfriend, Hyerin, for about 2 months. She never liked you, but never up front would tell you why. You just felt it. In the way she looked at you, tried to separate you and Jeongin, excluded you from plans. It was clear as day. Jeongin hated the fact that his girlfriend didn’t like his best friend. The reasons she wouldn’t tell you, she did tell Jeongin, though. “You and y/n are way too close.” “She's so into you, and you don’t tell her to stop.” “You’re always with her, more than with me.” all of which, he argued back with, “we’ve literally grown up together, of course we’re close,” “I’m with you all the time, Hyerin,” “she’s not into me, we’re just friends. I’ve already told you that!”

That one day, it was the end of school and you had been making your way to where Jeongin’s locker was located, excited to hang out and grab snacks at the local convenience store. But, as you were approaching, you could see Jeongin standing there, his back turned to you, while Hyerin stood opposite of him. They were arguing and luckily you had been out of eyesight.

“Jeong, she’s way too close to you for you to be just friends!” She had yelled, venom laced in her voice. You never thought you were ‘too’ close, you and Jeongin had been friends since in the womb.

“Hyerin! We are just friends! How many times do I have to go over this with you?! I am dating YOU!” Jeongin yelled back, frustratedly running a hand through his straight black hair. He sounded just as angry and heated as she did. “Does she think there’s something going on between us?” You thought to yourself.

“It doesn’t feel like it! Wherever you go, she goes with. A date for us turns into you two in the light and me being a third wheel on a date with my own boyfriend!” Hyerin complained, her fists balled up, at her sides. “Whenever I go to your house, she’s there and if you’re not home then you're at HER house!” her voice boomed. But it was true. You and Jeongin were always either at one another’s houses or out chilling somewhere. You just hadn’t known it was this problematic, because she never voiced these issues to you or pulled you aside for a conversation. You would’ve understood her frustrations.

Even just seeing how his shoulders were squared, and how tense his body seemed, you knew that he was pissed, more pissed than you’ve ever seen him before. “Well, what the fuck do you want me to do?! What is it that you want Hyerin?!” He barked, making overly obnoxious hand gestures at her.

Oh, she knew exactly what she wanted…

“Choose. Me or y/n, Jeong. “

..but she wasn’t expecting the answer she got

Jeongin always knew his answer would be you, and you would always choose him. That choice was as easy as breathing. So, with a light scoff, he gave her his answer

“Y/n”

Hyerin’s jaw positively dropped. She was gobsmacked. “Really?! Really?! Are you fucking serious, Jeongin?!” Dead serious, he was dead serious. So he laughed, “Of course I’m being serious. I’ll always choose y/n. Hyerin, we’re done.” He laughed out, venomously.

Well damn, she was at a loss for words. Storming off, she spotted you and rolled her eyes. “There’s your precious y/n, Jeongin,” was all she got out before she turned the corner.

Timidly, you approached him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Innie, you okay?” You asked, running a hand through his soft hair. That alone, had managed to take his level of anger from a boil to a simmer. Sighing, he nodded and pulled you into his chest, asking with a quiet voice. “I’m okay. Are you okay? How much did you hear?”

Even through his bad moments, which you’ve seen a lot of , he was always concerned for you. Rubbing a hand up and down the expanse of his back, you sighed. “I should be the one asking if you’re okay. You and your girlfriend just broke up……because of me,” you whispered, tucking your face into his chest, inhaling his sweet woodsy scent.

“Bun, I know. But, if she can’t accept our friendship, then it would have never worked out. I’m always always always going to choose you, bun.” He whispered, cupping your cheeks in his large hands, and swiping the pads of his thumbs over your cheeks, before he closed his fox-like eyes, before pressing his slightly chapped lips against your strawberry lip balm flavored ones.

That was how your relationship started, a whopping year and a half ago. . You didn’t plan on falling in love with your best friend. Honestly, you had never expected to, and neither did he. But, of course neither of you regretted it and the more you thought about it……maybe you and Jeongin had always had those romantic feelings all along and were too afraid to take the plunge, afraid that it could ruin the friendship you sustained.

When you think about it, the hand holding, cuddling, protectiveness, longing to constantly be near one another, ‘platonic’ kisses did seem a little more romantic and a little less platonic.Your moms always wanted you two to end up dating. Saying that “it would be perfect, we’re best friends, and you’re best friends so it makes sense. You two know each other so well already!” But, you had always brushed it aside, telling them “we’re just friends, mom.Nothing more, just two best friends. Maybe, they knew all along that you two would end up together. Call it mother’s intuition.

As you and Jeongin grew up and your bond only grew, you were even confused as a couple on numerous occasions. One of your favorite memories being when you two went to Lotte land together. You wore a coordinating outfit. His was a pair of cream colored pants, a white tee shirt with a short sleeved soft blue plaid overshirt, finished with a pair of sneakers. You wore a dress in the same color and pattern as his overshirt, with a white tee-shirt underneath with a matching pair of sneakers. Large happy smiles on your faces, as you walked the park,hand in hand.

“Ah, what a lovely couple you make,” an older lady complimented the pair of you. This was a normal thing for you, so neither of you minded it–maybe even liked it. Being mistaken as a couple had happened to you and Jeongin so many times that you both had just started accepting the compliment and not even trying to rebuttal with, “oh. We’re just friends.” Maybe you two liked being mistaken for a couple, so happily in love. Politely, you both nodded and bowed at the older woman. “Thank you,” you replied, a soft blush tinting your cheeks. With that, Jeongin squeezed your hand, a soft giggle escaping his lips. “ We do make a pretty cute couple don’t we, bun?”

But getting to love your best friend was as easy as breathing. You knew everything there was to know about each other. You knew how he liked his eggs–scrambled with bell peppers,cheese, with salt and pepper to taste. Jeongin knew how you liked your iced coffee– light ice, chocolate caramel flavoring, extra syrup and extra creamer (because you don’t like the taste of coffee). You knew how he used to eat sand, or that he tried to run away from home when he was 7.Jeongin knew that you hated brussel sprouts and broccoli, so whenever you had them on your plate he would eat them for you. Conversely, you knew that he loved tteokbokki, cheese tteokbokki specifically. So, as a true best friend would, you learned how to make it or would always stop at a local food stand to pick him up a fresh order. He knew that you were scared of the dark until you were 11. that you had a massive fear of heights and spiders–or just bugs in general, but you liked fireflies because their butts glowed and it reminded you of the movie Princess and the Frog, even though your favorite movie was Tangled.

When he got braces? You were there. In fact, you were the first person to see him with them, outside of his family. “I hate them, bun. They hurt and look stupid,” he whined, trying to conceal his new smile. “Aish, Innie. You’ll be okay and in fact…I think they look nice.” You consoled him, pulling his hands away from his mouth so you could rub wax over the metal wires that would straighten his teeth out.

Two years later, when he got his braces off, you accompanied him to the appointment. Hand in hand, you watched as his orthodontist clipped the brackets, pulled out the wire, and smoothed his newly straightened teeth. “Wah, my innie-ah! You look so good! Smile, smile, smile!” You cheered, gently pulling him to sit up in his chair. “Aigo, don’t embarrass me, we’re in public, bun.” He blushed, nonetheless flashing you a bright smile, that you had captured through a picture. “I don’t care! You look so nice, Jeongie!’ The compliment fell from your lips and through his ears, only further reddening his cheeks and causing him to grab your hand to pull you from the orthodontists office. He apologized for making a fuss. But, how could you not? He was too cute and handsome.

Nothing was a secret when it came to you and Jeongin. It was kind of impossible, when you were friends since you were in the womb. For every step, story and milestone you reached; you were there witnessing it all or would tell each other about it. You also knew that the both of you wanted to have kids, one day. He wanted a boy and a girl and you wanted the same.

Baby names were a conversation you’d had many times. It always came up in conversation, at least, once a week. It started when you were younger, playing house with your baby dolls. They had to have names.

“Jeongieeeeeee, we have to name our baby.” you whined, holding the baby doll in your hands. “Whyyyyy?” A then 10 year old, Jeongin complained, as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Baffled, you drew your eyebrows up. “Why? What do you mean why? We can;’t just call our baby bean, or baby or peanut! The baby needs a name, you pabo!” the words drawled from your lips as you pouted. “Yes we can! I never call you by your name, just by a nickname. We can do the same for our baby.” He complained, his fox eyes turning into small slivers as he sighed. All the while, your eyes were turning into big brown puppy ones. “Nooooooo, innieeeeee! We have to name the babbbbyyyyy. I didn’t carry and birth our baby for him to not have a nameeeeeee,” you dragged on, even going as far as to stomp your feet. “Fine fine fine, aigoo, bun.” He sighed, patting you on the head. “How about Mi-rae?” the name fell from his lips, so easily. “I like it, baby Yang Mi-rae.”

Mi-rae…it meant future. Funnily enough, a real baby was in your future. And yes….. You took playing house very seriously.

Little did you know, you would go from playing house to living together in a house, with your baby.

But, you never would have expected to have a baby together. Playing house and raising a baby doll was a very stark contrast to raising a real living, breathing, crying, eating, sleeping, peeing, pooping baby. Finding out that you were expecting, was quite the surprise for you and jeongin. On the other hand, your moms were ecstatic, over the moon, excited, jumping for joy.

“I knew this would happen. It’s about time! Our babies are having a baby!” Your mom had squealed, when you told her the news. “I know! Oh my gosh! Ah!” his mom had smiled in return. While they were celebrating, you and Jeongin stood looking at each other with a puzzled and befuddled look on your faces. “ What do you mean about time? You knew this would happen?” you blinked blankly at your mother’s.

Had it not clicked to you before? Turning to you, Jeongin’s mom, softly, placed her hands on your cheeks. “Oh my dear. You two have been closer than atoms and completely inseparable since you have been in the womb. It was only a matter of time before you and Jeongin got together and gave us a baby.” She cooed, her eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy. Similarly, your own mother had pulled you into a warm comforting embrace. “Pumpkin, it’s true. Yes, you and Innie may have denied the feelings when you were younger, but you always choose each other, you two are attached at the hip, act like a couple. We’re so so happy for you two.”

As you named your play baby when you were ten years old, your son was named Mi-rae. He was your pride and joy and a complete carbon copy of his dad, at least in looks. As a baby, Jeongin was naughty, mischievous, always keeping your parents on edge– thankfully, he mellowed out throughout the years. Jeongin always valued his personal space, not being one to enjoy in skinship– unless it was with you. Mi-rae on the other hand was calm, peaceful, and the cuddliest little bun.

He may have looked like Jeongin– sleek ebony hair, dark brown fox like eyes, deep dimples– but his personality mimicked yours. Cuddly, loves skinship, always tired, loving. Interestingly enough, Mi-rae only accepted cuddles from you or Jeongin. Much like how Jeongin only took cuddles from you, even if he acted annoyed at the times you plopped your body on him.

At the moment, Mi-rae is 9 months old and it is currently 7:30 pm. Which is his bedtime, since you and Jeongin wanted him to be on a steady and consistent sleep schedule. Thankfully, he was also a heavy sleeper ( like his dad) and had no issues sleeping throughout the night. You were holding him in your arms,gently rocking him. Something that helped put him at ease and signaled his body that it was time to sleep. “My little love, it’s bedtime. Is mommy’s angel boy ready to sleep?” You cooed, looking down at him with the purest love in your eyes.

With a pacifier tucked in his mouth, he looked up at you, slow blinks fluttering his eyes. Quietly, Jeongin walked up behind you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Hi, honey love. Is angel boy asleep,yet?” His voice resonated, his timbre soft and gentle. Shaking your head, you carefully ran the back of your knuckle along the soft plump expanse of Mi-rae’s cheek. “Not yet, Innie. Think he’s getting there, though.” You whispered, seeing Mi-rae’s eyes flutter once more, as the grip he had on your shirt loosened slightly. “Sleepy boy, our sleepy boy.” Jeongin mumbled, leaning to press a kiss to the babe’s forehead. “Our sleepy boy,” you smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Jeongin’s lips.

Blinking his eyes, Mi-rae fell asleep, his breathing becoming steady and slow. “There he goes. Sleep tight, angel.” Jeongin chuckled, watching the steady rise and fall of Mi-rae’s chest. Although you knew that co-sleeping wasn’t the best, you really truly couldn’t help it. What do you mean put Mi-rae in his crib when he was so peacefully captured by dreamland? No, no, no. Risking him waking up when you put him in his crib? Again,no.

Admittedly, you and Jeongin used to be pretty bad with your co-sleeping habits. But, neither you nor Jeongin wanted to be away from Mi-rae, always making sure he was safe, at peace and surrounded by love. It was hard to let him sleep in his bassinet; the same bassinet that was right next to your bed. For the first 5 months of Mi-rae’s life, he slept in that bassinet. Even harder was when you moved Mi-rae on from his bassinet to his crib. His crib was in a completely separate room–separated by its own walls and a door. For you and Jeongin, that was a big jump. It seemed so far(it was literally 10 feet away).

Mi-rae’s nursery–warm, simple, soothing, calm. The small home you and jeongin shared was modern yet cozy. New yet familiar. So, similarly you wanted Mi-rae’s nursery to have the same feeling and aura. That took bright colors out of the equation. Dark colors? A no– Mi-rae was a happy baby and so were you and Jeongin. No bright colors and no dark colors. Neutrals, and warmth. Off whites, creams, soft tinged colors. But, not pastel, just muted.

Three of the walls of the nursery were an eggshell ivory color. A muted sage green accent wall, framing the soft ash colored crib. On the accent wall were bold cut out letters of his name, painted in an antique gold color- so it stood out, but not too much.

The crib was slightly warm in tone, the color of its grain matching the color of the three remaining walls. Wanting to keep the tones and vibes as similar and cohesive as possible, the mattress was dressed in an off white bedsheet, a handmade sage green blanket thrown over its rail and a simple cloud mobile hanging over the top. Seeing as you spent a lot of time in the nursery: it was a wise decision to have a reclining chair in the corner, with a lamp nestled in the corner and a sage blanket, for cold nights and napping.

Simplistic, so there were a few toys lingering, but not too many. Sure, Mi-rae had a lot of toys, but you and jeongin didn’t like clutter. He was also mostly in the warm loving embrace of his mother or father most of the time, anyways. So, wisely a majority of the toys were stored in a toy box, being kept on a rotation on a regular basis. There was a bookshelf against the wall, next to it a changing table with a small garbage can. Only keeping the essentials out, and leaving the room to feel open.

As good as you and Jeongin have been co-sleeping, in the past, one night wouldn’t hurt. Peering up at jeongin, your eyes locking with his fox-like ones, there was a silent agreement made. Just tonight, then in the crib tomorrow. That look was all the two of you needed, as you made your way to your shared bedroom; which was, funnily enough, decorated in the same color scheme as Mi-rae’s nursery. That wasn’t even planned, just sheer coincidence.

By that time of night, the pair of you had already exchanged your day clothes for warm loungewear, sweats or pajamas. Today hadn’t been necessarily tiring or strenuous or stressful. It’s just that raising a baby took a lot out of you both, so you were ready to climb into bed earlier than most people did. Exchanging all nighters and energy drinks for early nights in and dirty diapers was your new routine, new life, new normal and you loved it. It was calm, peaceful, full of love and filled your heart with warmth.

“Ready for bed, bun?” Jeongin’s voice resonated, from his spot on his designated side of the bed– it was closer to the door and it made him feel as though he was protecting you. Nodding your head softly, you adjusted your hold on a sleeping Mi-rae as you managed to climb your way on your bed.

Bun, your favorite nickname from Jeongin. The main reason he called you bun was because you loved to eat sugar coated bread rolls. They were your favorite snack, leaving a coat of white sugar crystals on your fingertips. “Jeongie, they’re so good!” You always exclaimed, trying to get him to try one. Even with his lack of a sweet tooth, he would admit they were good. So, he just started to call you bun and from that day it stuck. Yeah, he had other nicknames for you– y/nnie, tiny, mini– but bun was the one he used most predominantly. You were his bun and he was your Jeongie, your innie. You were his and he was yours.

“I am, honey love.” The soft honey-esque sound of your melodious cadence replied to him. A smile tugged on the corners of his lips, turning them into a soft grin, he held his arms open for you waiting for you to be in his safe, secure and loving hold. “Come here, then. I know you’re tired.” A tired titter left him, his chest slightly vibrating as he saw you scooch closer to him. Once in reach of his arms, you were pulled tightly to his chest. A soft sage green duvet being cast over your bodies, as a kiss as soft as a butterfly’s wing was placed to your temple. “Can you believe it? Who knew that we’d be here?” Another soft chortle escaped his pink lips as he looked down at the babe in your arms. “ I know. It’s pretty crazy. But do you ever think our moms were right? That,maybe, we did have feelings for one another all along but we just couldn’t recognise it?” You pondered, relaxing your body and melting to fit the shape of his.

“It makes sense, bun. We’ve always been close. We always have chosen each other.” Jeongin whispered back, his voice laced with the want to sleep, and a yawn spilling from his lips. As yawns do, his yawn triggered one to be pulled from your own body. “Mmmm. I mean, that’s true,” you echoed back, your ear pressed to his chest to hear his heartbeat. “I’m glad they were though….I think we would’ve ended up together eventually one day,bun.” He cooed, gently caressing your cheek with the knuckle of his middle finger. “I think so too. We’re just meant to be, in all ways, shapes, forms, and universes. We’ve always been tied together…cut from the same cloth.” You sleepily acknowledged, voice starting to become slurred with sleep as your words started to drift away to your own dreamland. Kissing your forehead, Jeongin flicked the light on your nightstand off so he too could fall into dreamland. “You’re my future. You have always been my future. I love you, my bun,” he tenderly expressed, his own eyes finally falling shut.His mind calmed and he was welcomed to his world of dreams, filled with you and Mi-rae, but he could still hear you let out the faintest whisper.

“I love you too, my forever.”

🏷️ @mellhwang ; @autumn583 ; @hyunsvngs ; @hotchnrz ; @galamxy ; @ebbaskz ; @turtledove824 ; @galaxycatdrawz ; @fawnpeaks ; @bigsobs4skz ; @143lix ; @bangchans-babygirlgirl ; @aaasia111 ; @reid-deiri ; @tenshimara ; @dancerachaslut ; @peachygirlsthings ; @saturnandgold ; @justscrollinthrough ; @jesuisstay ; @shinywolfbears ; @lewoh-ot8-wh0re ; @alnex05 ; @mixtape-racha ; @shujohajohaminnie ; @heartheartisa ; @skzstaykatsy ; @manuosorioh ; @whosanaanyway ; @cvntywonyo ; @notastraykid ; @jinnie-ret♡

#skz fluff #stray kids fluff #seungmin fluff #lee know fluff #jeongin x reader #dad!skz #dad!innie #9mitm friday #9mitm #dad skz #dad jeongin

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keepittoyourshelf · 3 months ago

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Sometimes it really is all about sex.

Let’s talk about morally gray characters again. I just finished playing Dragon Age: Inquisition in prep for the Veilguard release and Solas is literally the textbook example of what morally gray character is. No spoiler warnings because the game is fucking ten years old, already.

TLDR is Solas is one of your companions (romanceable if you’re playing a female elf) who actually turns out to be an ancient elven spirit of some sort that is actively working to undermine your efforts. He was responsible for creating the Veil, as an act of revenge against his fellow elven spirit-gods for killing his bestie Mythal. This unfortunately had unforeseen consequences of cutting the elven people off from the Fade and ensuring that they were no longer immortal. He’s now working to reverse this mistake, despite the fact that doing so will essentially destroy the player’s world and wipe out all non-elves. Or something to that effect.

If you play the Trespasser DLC (highly recommended since I don’t think Veilguard will make much sense otherwise, and you will not get the full impact of the Solas romance if you pursue that path), you’ll get to talk to Solas at the end and he is genuinely regretful and remorseful, and not just for how this will affect his friend/lover, but how it will affect all people. This is despite knowing the cost. He knows the cost, is fully aware of it, is remorseful about the pain and suffering it will cause, and yet is willing to move forward anyway.

Another example I’ve referred to before? Kaz Brekker. Think of how fucked up what he did to Pekka Rollins re: his kid was. Disregard how fucked up Pekka was in turn, because two wrongs don’t make a right, right? Kaz didn’t care. Kaz has never really cared who gets hurt so long as it’s not people he actually cares about and he achieves his ends. It’s literally anything goes. We as readers can still “cheer” for him conscience free because ostensibly the people he’s acting out against are all pretty much trash human beings, but you have to think that statistically innocents are caught in the crossfire, and yet Kaz dgaf. No explanations, even though they would make total sense in context without actually justifying the actions he takes (because they are wrong), just revenge. We as readers aren’t necessarily expected to like what he does. But we should understand it.

Lestat de Lioncourt is the same way. It’s obvious in the books, but quicker and easier to digest via the TV show that’s currently airing on AMC. Lestat is straight-up a petty, jealous, vengeful bitch (though he never beat Louis the way it’s shown on the show, so take that aspect with a grain of salt). Lestat also suffered a seriously abusive childhood and his experience of being turned was tantamount to rape. He doesn’t always go after evil-doers, though later on in the series he goes after them almost exclusively, with the occasional slip-up. Yet we still love him and cheer for him. Is it because he’s handsome and charming and witty? Yeah, mostly. Does he make excuses for what he does? Not really. He might explain his motivations, but he doesn’t excuse the evilness of his actions. He knows they’re wrong and does them anyway.

Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3 is another great example, though his morally grey status can be considered arguable depending on whether or not you Ascend him (and consequently doom 7000 presumably innocent souls, including children). For those that have played, you know Astarion’s past is as traumatic as it gets. That in itself explains away a lot of his attitude, though I personally believe he was a sassy dick even before all that happened. The way he manipulates Tav and the other characters though, all of that is motivated by self-preservation as a result of his past abuse. If you explore his romance path, you talk to him enough to know that he knows what he’s doing is wrong, and he’s regretful for it, to a point. He’s definitely not regretful about every mean thing he’s done though, that needs to be made clear. Does he offer excuses? No, not a one. He explains his motivations though, and he’s sorry for whatever pain it causes insofar as it relates to Tav (either as a friend or a lover), but everyone else can pretty much fuck off. So yeah, he’s not free of his asshole status just by virtue of being abused, but it does explain his actions enough to let the player still like him and romance him in spite of it all (if the hair alone wasn’t enough to make you turn a blind eye, that is).

This is all leading up to me once again explaining that RHYSAND FROM ACOTAR IS NOT MORALLY GREY. He never has been and he never will be. What is the difference between him and anyone I’ve mentioned above? Chapter 54 in ACOMAF really says it all. Up until that point, Rhysand was the villain. Feyre could not in good conscience explore her attraction to him because he was the bad guy, and head of the bad guys. Literally everyone else in that world thinks of him as evil and is fearful of him. This is by Rhysand’s own design for, well, reasons. Until Chapter 54, where he deconstructs, in practically bulleted-list format, every single bad thing he has been shown to do in the books up until that point. This is needed because since Feyre is narrating, she’s not privy to his inner thoughts and can’t possibly know he’s not really evil, and thus cannot justify fucking him. Killing kids and innocent people? He was under the influence of Amarantha. In order to save the majority, a small minority had to be sacrificed. Let me give a tip here: If someone is saying they do something bad for the greater good, they are 1). Most definitely not morally grey and 2). Quite possibly a nazi. Abusing Feyre mentally and physically? Necessary to keep his cover, so he could continue to protect the majority for the greater good, or undermine Amarantha, which he never really managed to do in the 50 years he was held captive, or whatever. Sometimes he did it because he could find no other way to be near her because even then he was So In LoOoOvE. The whole point of that fucking chapter is to show the reader that there were good/romantic motivations behind bad actions, which in SJM-speak equals good. Unless you’re Tamlin, in which case you are still evil. Why does this need to happen? So SJM can write mid-level smut guilt free.

Chalk it up to religious guilt or societal pressure, but Kaz, Solas, Astarion, Lestat, and others have shown time and time again that you can do bad things and still be considered good enough to justify romantic interest, or friendly, if that’s your bag. The line in the sand really comes in having awareness that what you did was bad, not really caring about it, and most importantly, not needing to completely erase a bad past based on one or two actions/statements/beliefs (or because they’re just good looking). Even if you do not romance them, you can at least understand some of what they do, even when it is bad, because of their history, their obvious remorse, or just their fucking charisma etc.

One could argue that Chapter 54 would not have been required if SJM didn’t think we needed to read Chapter 55 guilt-free, or at least without being able to so easily equate Rhys with Ted Bundy (a handsome, charming psychopath). Rhysand does not express remorse over the acts themselves, so much as he expresses remorse over the fact that the fact that he did them, for whatever reason, could prevent him from getting what he wants. The reader, by virtue of Feyre’s limited and biased POV, is not given permission to let Rhys into their hearts and hoohas until we know that he was forced to do bad things. Bad things that never, ever would have happened otherwise. So it’s okay that she wants to have sex with him.

Solas, Lestat, Kaz, Astarion - they all do bad things. They all know they are doing bad things. Not everything they do is bad (that’s an important point to make), but when they do bad things, they do them with full knowledge that they are bad things, and that good people will suffer. Sometimes they care, sometimes they don’t. The reader cannot say unequivocally that they are either good or bad, because their actions can be understood when looked at in context of their history or their motivations. They cannot be entirely excused. I.e. A wrong thing done for the right reasons is still a wrong thing. It’s still murder even when it’s done in self-defense, and you always have a choice. You never have to do something. The distinction is whether you are willing to do a wrong thing to avoid something you don’t like happening (I.e. you or someone you love dying, or feeling intense pain). However, that doesn’t make murder suddenly not murder. A reason is not a justification. You just choose to do it for a reason. If you don’t (and are doing it for fun) then you are just evil, and most definitely not morally grey.

The key difference is that the reader (via Feyre) is told repeatedly that Rhysand is no longer bad for having done wrong things because he did them for the right reasons. He is no longer the villain he was in book 1 by virtue of Chapter 54 in book 2. Solas is still the villain (and in fact is the main antagonist of Veilguard); so are Kaz, Lestat, and Astarion, depending on who you ask. When other characters in their respective worlds offer their personal opinions on said characters, some will be favorable, some not. We are at least allowed the opportunity to see a different POV and make that choice for ourselves. There’s continuous ambiguity. The ambiguity is the literal grey area.

This is not the case with Rhysand and this is why he can never be morally grey. We are told he was the noble hero all along, he is literally retconned as such (much like Spike was in BtVS, because Buffy-as-heroine could never justify living someone like him otherwise). He was reformatted so much, in fact, that he’s actually thought by some to be deserving of being king of all Prythian. Not just other characters, but by the reading audience at large. His bad things are no longer bad because he did them for the right reasons (or that dogwhistle of a statement, for the greater good).

How do I know this? Because Rhysand is consistently juxtaposed, by SJM’s own hand, by virtue of Feyre’s narration, with Tamlin. Over and over and over again. Now, technically Tamlin has also done bad things for the right reasons (protecting Feyre, helping his subjects) but he remains the villain. If another character tries to say Rhysand is bad (I think Tarquin does, but I could be wrong) they are either wrong or just don’t understand or are under emotional duress and are incapable of seeing the truth. Tamlin does not deserve to have his actions looked at in context (the way we do with Solas, Kaz, etc) because….well, I don’t have a good explanation for that, because SJM herself hasn’t offered one, other than repeatedly showing every other character in the book saying he’s a bad guy and doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. Purely by comparison’s sake, there is literally no reason in a fact based world where one can say without question that what Tamlin did to Feyre is worse than anything Rhysand has done. They both physically hurt her. They have both confine her without their consent. You know what Tamlin has never done though? Touch Feyre sexually against her will. He didn’t engineer situations where he mentally abused her just so he could be near her. That’s not romantic, it’s sociopathic. Fantasy is fantasy, sure, but you can’t defend that even in context of an alleged “fantasy morality” because we are humans and can only look at these things on the context of lived human experiences. There is no situation in real life, anywhere, where mentally or sexually abusing someone is justifiable for any reason, ever. Bottom line, all arguments to the contrary invalid. Any time someone comes out against Rhys, they either retract their statements, are reviled themselves (hello Nesta) in the narrative, or just in the fan community itself.

I haven’t read the third Crescent City book because I finally reached my limit for bullshit, but from the discourse I’ve seen Bryce has been getting a lot of hate for thinking Rhysand is a dick, or something to that effect. Right or wrong, it’s at least more evidence of SJM and the audience’s own bias in favor of Rhysand….and that’s really who these screeds are directed at. The audience. Rhys defenders are wrong when they say he is morally grey. He is not when other characters aren’t allowed to voice opinions against him without having the narrative over-emphasize their own faults at the same time. The text must remain objective and somewhat open-ended. SJM is as biased a writer as they come.

So I guess you could excuse all the word vomit here and just say that actually being considered morally grey is predicated on multiple opinions (it doesn’t necessarily need to be multiple narrators/POVs, but the audience needs to be presented with an alternative opinion in a way where it’s not immediately dismissible). SJM has never shown any indication that that will happen, because even when opinions other than Feyre’s are introduced they either echo her sentiments or we have someone else shooting them down in response, or the character in question is repeatedly shown to be flawed themselves.

Moral of the story? Stop wasting time on SJM and play Dragon Age: Inquisition or Baldur’s Gate 3 instead. Story is better, there’s so much room for interpretation (which makes replay/re-read value increase) and the dudes are just hotter. Sorry not sorry.

Even if Solas does look like an egg. He’s a hot egg.

#anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti sjm #anti feyre #pro tamlin #anti inner circle #anti acotar #sjm critical #bg3 #anti rhys #baldur’s gate astarion #astarion bg3 #morally grey characters #Rhysand will never be morally grey and I’m willing to die on that hill #solas dragon age #solas #dragon age #dragon age: inquisition

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gallifreyinstituteforlearning · 5 months ago

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Are their any sort of social norms pertaining to age gaps in a relationship, and if so what are they? (I know the only basis we really have is for political marriages, but I think those would actually be the best examples considering they would be under the most public and political scrutiny)

Are there any social norms pertaining to age gaps in Gallifreyan relationships?

There's nothing particularly established about this, but the norms and expectations around relationships will differ greatly from Human social preoccupations about age gaps.

📅 Lifespans and Perceptions of Age

Gallifreyans live for millennia, making age gaps largely irrelevant in their society. While an age difference of a few decades might be significant for humans, it’s just a blink of an eye for a Time Lord.

Childhood and Maturity: Up to around age 200, Gallifreyans are still socially considered immature despite reaching full physical maturity around age 100. This extended period of 'childhood' normally ends on graduation from the Academy.

Social Norms: Age differences in relationships are generally not a focal point in Gallifreyan society. Given their long lifespans, the difference of a few centuries might be as inconsequential as a few years would be to humans. If a 400-year-old Time Lord dates a 700-year-old, it's probably just considered a charming Mayfly-December romance.

👑 Political Marriages

Political marriages are a significant aspect of Gallifreyan culture, especially among the ruling elite. These marriages will come under public and political scrutiny, yet age is probably not a primary concern even here.

Strategic Alliances: Marriages are typically arranged for political gain or to form strategic alliances. The primary focus is on the benefits such unions can bring rather than the age of the individuals involved.

Public Scrutiny: Despite the potential for public scrutiny, the emphasis remains on the political and social advantages of marriage.

🧐 Practical Considerations

For Gallifreyans, the concept of age gaps in relationships might seem quaint or irrelevant. The extensive lifespan and the different stages of maturity make these concerns minor.

Longevity: With lifespans stretching across millennia, a few centuries’ difference in age doesn't carry the same weight. Relationships are more likely judged on the individuals' compatibility and mutual benefits rather than their ages. When you can live for thousands of years, what's a couple of centuries between friends (or lovers)?

Social and Personal Growth: Time Lords have the opportunity for significant personal and social growth over their extended lifetimes. This growth means that relationships can be formed at various stages of life without the usual constraints humans might face.

🏫 So ...

Age gaps in Gallifreyan relationships are probably largely inconsequential due to their long lifespans and unique perceptions of age and maturity. While political marriages might come under public scrutiny, the focus remains on the strategic advantages rather than the ages of the individuals involved.

How does marriage and dating work on Gallifrey?: The cultural norms of Gallifreyan relationships.

What are Gallifreyan views on sexualities/sexual orientations?: Looking at the cultural and practical aspects of sexualities and orientations.

How might Gallifreyans view divorce?: How divorces might be viewed on Gallifrey.

Hope that helped! 😃

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

#gil #gallifrey institute for learning #dr who #dw eu #ask answered #anonymous #whoniverse #doctor who #gallifreyan culture

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eerna · 5 months ago

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Enemies to lovers or foes romance could be so interesting if it is done right and the character process of falling in love is done right. The big problem with this trope (I think tropes aren't as bad as some people make them to be since every book has tropes; the problem is they have to be earned) is that authors can't distinguish enemies to lovers from abusers and victims/bully romances. I always thought that to make the pair more credible, you needed to give them a history or something. One of the best and unused tropes is childhood friends to enemies to lovers. This could have so much angst.

Yeah, it's a really fun trope IF done right, but honestly that's true for every trope. It is a more difficult dynamic to pull off, as I think there's only 2ish enemies to lovers romances I like. However, both include some degree of bullying or toxicity, so MY reason for why I mostly dislike the trope is that it's rarely given much thought past "waaaaa they HATE each other which makes it SEXYYYY". I also don't like it when the conscious attraction begins while the enemy phase is still going on, because I simply can't take it seriously. "They're soooo evil but sooooo hot" is the most annoying inner monologue in history of inner monologues. I say conscious attraction because there's ways to make them want each other without spelling it out, and THAT'S where the fun is. Basically if it's "body VS mind" it's boring to me, but if it's "one aspect of someone's personality VS another" it's fun. One way of doing it is to give them history, but you can also pull it off by making them foils in their beliefs and convictions and narrative arcs etc. It's about the REPRESSION the DICHOTOMY the WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

#eernask #eernanon #i voted friends to lovers bc that's the dynamic i am most happy with. i love pining i love true honest connections #but enemies to lovers is fun too

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229zmi · 2 years ago

Text

BESTFRIEND!ATSUMU

PAIRING: Miya Atsumu/Reader

CONTENT: brief mention of blood + mild violence (not toward reader or Atsumu), they/them pronouns used for reader, rushed ending, lots of run-on sentences 😁, childhood friends to lovers

WORD COUNT: 2.0k

bestfriend!Atsumu who, on a hot summer day many years ago, crashes into your life both unceremoniously and literally. He’s nine and rash in the way that nine year old children tend to be, though that certain aspect for him was enhanced simply for the fact that he’s Miya Atsumu and words like vigilant and sensible aren’t quite in his vocabulary yet (and perhaps they never would be).

bestfriend!Atsumu who’s nine and rash in the way that shows in his appearance, his russet hair dishevelled and his elbows red and burning not from the sun but from the bits of gravel still stuck onto his skin after a nasty fall off his bike earlier — and rash in the way that he crashes into your life by first crashing the aforementioned bike into the fence outside your house, before tumbling at your feet.

bestfriend!Atsumu who at the time is just stranger!Atsumu to you and someone you peer down at for some time as if you’re staring at a glob of bird poop on the ground rather than something at least a little more worthy than that. For a while, he doesn’t know what to do or say except glance at what remains of his bike with a dejected face and then literally run for his life.

stranger!Atsumu who sees you at school the next day, surprisingly. He doesn’t recall if he’s ever seen you in the hallways before, but that doesn’t matter anyway because when he sees you, you’re staring at him with the same creepy look you had yesterday afternoon. Osamu is next to him and asks if he knows you.

“I crashed my bike into a fence in their yard. Dunno what they want from me now — you think they like-like me or somethin’?”

His brother doesn’t look too shocked when he says this — just mildly disappointed, but Atsumu’s used to that from him anyway, in the same way that Osamu’s used to him and all his shenanigans. Nonetheless, as the slightly more reasonable twin, he says in a tone that could almost be considered scolding, “I think you should apologise.”

“WHAT?”

stranger!Atsumu who, despite his pride, apologises to you with a tear-stained crumpled up note and a pack of gummy bears dropped promptly onto your desk, wearing what’s intended to be an apologetic expression, although it looks more like he’s holding in the urge to call you a poopiehead to your face and then run away again. But for you, that’s good enough.

stranger!Atsumu who, by some sort of unspoken agreement between the two of you paired along with the fact that you’re eight and making friends is as shallow as simply asking Do you want to be friends?, becomes your acquaintance after you so graciously accept his apology.

friend!Atsumu whom you now exchange toothy smiles and brief high-fives with whenever you pass each other in the hallways.

friend!Atsumu whom you hang out with almost every day of summer break a couple weeks later because turns out, he lives just a little further down the street, so you have no trouble going on the three-minute journey it takes to get to his house.

friend!Atsumu whom you spend so much time with without ever getting the slightest bit bored, squandering most days away with attempts at defeating each other at all the video games he has stored in the room he shares with Osamu, who occasionally joins in but most often opts to pray on his brother’s downfall from the sidelines.

friend!Atsumu whom you build mud pies with for his brother to pretend-eat and judge as if they’re actually edible; who’s naturally competitive and tries to catch more bugs than you in the backyard until an inky canopy stretches over you and the street lamps turn on, signalling that it’s time for you to go home.

friend!Atsumu who — as rowdy as he is — surprisingly is a gentleman and has no trouble going on the six-minute journey it takes to walk you home and head back himself.

bestfriend!Atsumu whose friendship with you is still undeterred by the fact that you’re in different classes once you reach middle school, often going to the restroom during class just to stop by your classroom on the way back and catch a glimpse of what you’re doing.

bestfriend!Atsumu who spots you in your seat, your eyelids drooping as if you can hardly manage to keep them up as well as yourself awake during the teacher’s boring lecture.

bestfriend!Atsumu who presses his nose close against the window of the door, catching the attention of a few of your classmates but most importantly you, and starts making funny faces that elicit a sharp laugh out of you, which in turn leads to you getting scolded by the teacher for being a ‘disruption.’ Whoops.

bestfriend!Atsumu who, as some sort of compensation, exhales to make the glass foggy and then with his pointer finger draws a heart shape before he returns to class.

bestfriend!Atsumu who never fails to make you smile even during your lowest days; who keeps a diary tracking all the times he’s made you laugh, just to look over all the notes scribbled down in the margins later whenever he’s feeling down himself.

bestfriend!Atsumu whose hair is dry to the touch the first time you see him after spring break in your first year of high school. Your fingers are carding through his hair, and even though you’re telling him his hair follicles feel and look like hay, Atsumu isn’t paying attention to a single word of it because he’s too busy relishing in your closeness to him.

bestfriend!Atsumu who’s used to compliments and flattery all the time, yet still he nearly explodes into a million pieces of flesh when you mention offhandedly at some point, “It suits you though. Looks good.”

bestfriend!Atsumu who, from that day on, starts developing all symptoms of heart failure oddly enough, finding difficulty with breathing paired with an erratic heartbeat whenever he’s around you. And despite Osamu and his ma and even Google all saying it’s totally not heart failure, he’s not entirely convinced.

bestfriend!Atsumu who’s always liked showing off in front of people, but even more so in front of you now, going out of his way to show off his strength by popping open soda cans for you with a cheeky smile, although the feat can hardly be considered impressive; carrying your backpack during the walk home from school, once again to show off his strength; and holding the door open for you every chance he gets.

bestfriend!Atsumu who’s shocked when one day, you tell him you’ve been talking to one of your classmates a lot lately and that you’re going on a date with him to some kind of museum this weekend. You say all this with a smile you’re struggling to contain as you lay stomach facing down on Atsumu’s bed, your chin resting in the palm of your hand and your feet leisurely kicking the air.

bestfriend!Atsumu who spins around his room in a rolly chair and grumbles, “What’s so special about him? Sounds to me like he’s just some boring ol’ guy.”

“He is not some boring ol’ guy,” you argue, reaching over to slap his knee once he’s close enough for you to do so. “He’s nice and smart, and he’s in the school’s orchestra. Second-chair viola,” you add, like that makes him seem any more interesting.

Nonetheless, all you get from Atsumu is a two-in-one package of disapproval: a yawn that goes on for way too long to be believable, and an over-exaggerated thumbs down.

bestfriend!Atsumu who does not like your new boyfriend a couple of weeks later but is civil enough with him so that you do not notice. It turns out that he’s right for the most part in calling your boyfriend boring; he’s so ordinary that there isn’t really anything to actually like or dislike about him, yet the less rational part of Atsumu can’t help but secretly pray on his downfall, especially when the amount of time you used to spend watching your best friend at volleyball practice after school starts ebbing away and redistributing to cutesy hangouts with Mr. Second-Chair Viola.

bestfriend!Atsumu who wears his heart on his sleeve even if he doesn’t intend to, and within the first week of introducing your boyfriend to your bestfriend, you decide to confront him about your suspicions.

“Do you hate my boyfriend or something?”

“Huuuuh?”

bestfriend!Atsumu who initially plasters on a clueless act, glancing around him as if you’re talking to someone else. The only problem is, you’ve known him for so long that by this point, you can pick out his bluffs almost as easily as picking your nose — not that you pick your nose.

“He told me you keep giving him the Kubrick stare in the hallways.”

“No way… Must’ve gotten me mixed up with my brother. ‘Samu’s the one blessed with the resting-bitch-face, ya know.”

“Uh-huh,” you say slowly, clearly unconvinced.

bestfriend!Atsumu who’s relieved when you let the topic go anyway and back off, deciding to go search for your boyfriend, who you’re sure is somewhere else on the school grounds.

bestfriend!Atsumu who, having nothing else to do with practice being cancelled today, tags along with you on your search. He’s right behind you, tapping away on his phone, when you suddenly halt in your tracks, the tip of his nose hitting the back of your head as he wasn’t really expecting you to do that, before he tilts to the side to see what’s the problem, eyebrows raised comically.

bestfriend!Atsumu who sees exactly what the issue is: your boyfriend, in the midst of locking lips with some other student near the vending machine.

bestfriend!Atsumu whose gaze immediately averts to you, trying to gauge your reaction. A downcast expression shadows your face, and you look like you’re between either bursting into tears or vomiting all over the ground. Maybe both.

bestfriend!Atsumu who doesn’t stop to think before yanking your now ex-boyfriend (hopefully) out of his heavy make out session and socking him in the face, rendering him kind of pathetic with blood gushing out of his nostrils as he stares back and forth between you and the fake-blond, stunned by the fact that he’s been caught.

“Scram,” Atsumu sneers at him, chivalrously. Mr. Second-Chair Viola obliges.

bestfriend!Atsumu who does his best to cheer you up during the days that follow after the unfortunate situation. It’s almost impressive how much of his allowance money he manages to splurge over the span of less than a week on all your favourite snacks and drinks, along with stuffed animals to keep you company while you mull over the tragic end of your relationship, a bouquet of fake flowers because the last thing he’d want you to worry about at the moment is trying to keep them alive, and anything else he believes’ll make you feel even just a little bit better.

bestfriend!Atsumu whose hair you help re-bleach in your final week before graduation because you know how insecure he gets when his roots are showing.

bestfriend!Atsumu who can’t stop himself from admiring the way you look as you’re carefully sectioning his hair. The sight of you being all focused sends his heart in a frenzy, and he finds that the warmth in his face is becoming almost too much to ignore.

bestfriend!Atsumu who impulsively confesses to you underneath the fluorescent lights of his bathroom. By then, he’s eighteen and rash in the way that he’s always been, the words spilling out before his brain fully processes them.

bestfriend!Atsumu who doesn’t quite believe his own ears when he hears you say the words I love you, too back to him, who only believes it when you gather up enough courage to press your lips against his, and who is uncharacteristically gentle when it comes to you, placing a tender hand against the base of your neck to pull you closer.

boyfriend!Atsumu who adores you more than anyone else in the world — so much that he ignores Osamu’s angry protests from outside the bathroom, saying he needs to pee.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #atsumu fluff #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #229ZMI #trying smth New…..🤔

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