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lefrancha · 6 months

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Three of my players (rogue, paladin, and barbarian) found themselves at the entrance of a brothel with a long line. They were on the hunt for some makeup, since their tiefling needed to disguise herself, and it was late so all shops were closed. Their best thought was "ah yes a brothel would definitely have make up".

After pulling out some silver tongued deceptions, posing as an important and rich noble who was accompanied by his two body guards, they managed their way to the front of the line.

"How much would the service cost for the three of us?" proudly asked the halfling rogue, the supposed nobleman.

"We do not charge with money here" clarified the half-elf receptionist.

"Excellent" celebrated the rogue.

"Since we are a new establishment and do not know the people here, please leave your weapons and armor at the door"

"Sure thing!" complied the three of them excitedly

AND THEY GAVE THEM EVERYTHING AND JUST WENT INSIDE. NOT A SINGLE RED FLAG WAS RAISED.

ZERO SURVIVAL INSTINCT.

HOW.

OF COURSE THE BROTHEL WAS FILLED WITH SUCCUBI AND THE ROGUE ENDED UP WITH A MARK OF PLEASURE ON THEIR PELVIS TAKING HALF HIS MAX HP AWAY.

#the paladin didnt even flinch #of course the rogue proposed the plan in the first place #dungeons and dragons #dnd story #dnd funny #dnd stories #dnd stuff #just dnd things #dnd funny things #dnd campaign #dnd #dnd character #dnd rogue #dnd monsters #dnd shenanigans #dnd shitpost

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juiceicicles · 1 year

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Steve plays DnD with Eddie and the kids (not Hellfire, none of them are ready for that yet) for the first time and attempts to seduce a dude to get information.

The thing is, Steve’s character is also a dude. When he first asks, Eddie is shocked, the kids are confused because “he’s a man, Steve” and Steve just pulls out some old Harrington charm and sufficiently flusters Eddie and gets the information needed.

Most of the kids are just happy it worked. Will is happy and surprised because apparently both Eddie and Steve are cool with gay people, cool enough to roleplay as them! Mike is having an internal crisis because the lord has a wife but it still worked so is he gay or straight? When asked Eddie just says he likes both, which prompts a small internal crisis. Eddie is a weird jumble of feelings because Steve is flirting with him! But like in character. So is Steve gay? Is his character gay?! What’s happening!

Steve’s flirty remarks make it out of the game and just become Steve flirting ruthlessly with Eddie, but prompts no questioning from the party because “it’s an inside joke”.

#steve harrington #stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #steddie #steddie prompt #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie headcanon #lots of people have done the Steve flirts with Eddie via dnd #so the fic is certainly out there #I just think the idea of it giving Mike a sexuality crisis is funny #and that nobody in the party questions their flirting any further #and when they flirt out of game #it’s just their thing #and so when they start dating #nobody knows #for a solid few months #juicepost

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taygra5shaon · 1 month

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*There is a gnoll in the camp*

Shadowheart: *Looking at Jacq*

Shadowheart: *sighs*🤦‍♀️ What name did you give him?

Jacq: Cupcakes 🥺 👉👈

Jacq may have lost his memory, but the few pieces of his weird personality is are all the same, lol

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tryingonametaphor · 29 days

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still thinking about how one of the simplest yet most powerful byler proofs is that stranger things is the duffer brothers’ love letter to DnD and byler is the only couple in the show whose love language is DnD

#stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #byler #thoughts #they’re so central couple coded it’s not even funny #like you’re telling me the slow burn has been burning for 4 seasons and they’ve been placing things together slowly #and mike and will constantly talk about friendship and love through DnD analogies?#cmon. like cmon

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midnightcrows · 1 year

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Dios Apate Minor pt 1

second painting here

#my apologies to anyone who followed me for dnd or other things for this #I feel like Ive learned so much more abt the lyctors after spending hours trying to draw them getting it on #i thought it would be funny if jod had a stylus behind his ear during this dinner #jod is so hard to draw id like to explode him #if i have it in me ill try to do the last scene with all 3 #harrow the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb spoilers #dios apate minor #augustine the first #mercymorn the first #john gaius #tlt #tlt fanart #fanart #harrow the ninth fanart

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criticalrolo · 2 years

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this format makes me laugh every time

#dnd #listen im a multiclassing champ but the verbiage here is so funny ksjfjdksks #only funny thing ever posted to r/dndmemes

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tofu-bento-box · 3 months

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a fun trend i’ve noticed on tumblr: if izek strazini has hair, the DM has made him redeemable. if he’s bald, he stays evil. i have yet to see a redeemable bald izek or an evil hair-having izek.

#izek strazni #cos izek #curse of strahd #dnd #d&d #dm things #d&d dm #it’s really really funny to me #because in-module his story is so under-explored #and i completely understand wanting to fill it out #he’s a good candidate for being redeemable actually #but RAW he’s a shithead for no discernible reason. and also in-module he’s bald

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cat-cosplay · 1 year

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Hellfur Club

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yael-art-den · 8 months

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Absolutelly underrated dynamic between Warlock and Patron is Sire/Sired. Forget about the "I own you / I sold my soul to you and I must do your wishes" what about "I am devoted to you and you're honoring me every time you grant me a gift." what about the "You're infinitely more powerful than I'll ever be but I will raise my puny sword for you at any time"

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zellk · 6 months

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Forgot to share here.... old doodles of when I finally came around to finding a design I like for Qalaari's mom !!

#it's so fucking funny to me that i inadvertently gave her a variant of the “mom about to die” haircut because... well...#surprise... she did die when Qalaa was young (12) :'^)#Qalaa (now between 20 and 22) still hasn't gotten over it #her mom had really weak health and really shouldn't have had a child but she made her choice #it turned out to be not the best one for her health LMAO #who wouldve thunk #but hey she wanted it and i'm pretty sure she doesn't regret it #but well... Qalaa does feel like she was a participant in her mom's death #(the other participant being her biological father who ran away before she was born and shattered aamira's heart)#ANYWAYS #i love qalaa's messed up familly #it's like a regular messed up story where actually no one (and everyone) is to blame (except Qalaa lmao she asked for NOTHING)#Aaamira gave so so much love to her child ;;;;;; this built the unbreakable core of Qalaa's kindness #aamira #aamira croquelune #aamira molandine #croquelune #still thinking about making that potentiel small DnD 'lore addon' of Qalaa's village that you can take and plug in your very own campaign #as long as you have 'far from civilization' woods or mountains you can put them in there #a village that welcomes the 'monsters' and the cast out #(like aamira)#look at me rambling in the tags lmao i just love qalaari (& her background) so much #last thing tho : you have to understand that Aamira is small and very slight and Qalaari was a HUGE baby and is a really big girl overall

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rooolt · 5 months

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like, bafflingly, Jens Lyndelle is somehow the most normal of the triplets

#He is crazy and Murph literally will do anything as him as long as he finds it funny #But the thing is #The other two are vrazier #Bc they other two want nothing more than attention and approval from jens #Which makes them crazier #naddpod #not another dnd podcast #trinyvale

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treefish · 2 years

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hag hut

#animal crossing #animal crossing new horizons #acnh #something different from my recent style yeah?#funny thing is this is similar to my original island concept #ye olde pepperfig #anyway. i LOVE hags!#we're dealing with a hag right now in dnd called the tea keeper #she trades secrets #it's tough because my character does not trust hags and does not like this situation #so i have to act like i'm not thrilled about it haha

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blujayonthewing · 2 years

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#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture?#where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses?#blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings?#and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like...#it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france.#like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS??#I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she'#'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

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xelina · 9 months

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Want to get into Astarion's pants? Perhaps just steal his panties? I design cosplay themed clothes, and I'm really proud of these ones. I spent a bunch of time trying to get the design just right on the elven underwear from bg3! They're in my shop now! Currently three versions; Astarion, Halsin/Jaheira, and Twitch. they're available here!

And since it's one of the few times of year that my printer runs a sale, they're 10% off until December 30th!

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kkildeer · 5 months

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what do you mean. mom what do you mean

#ffxiv #ffxiv wol #kiril tag #a/n time LOL #building up little mundane things that don't matter to the main plot is just!!#its like im playing dnd with. myself. giving Kiril bits n pieces is so much fun!!!#ive been in such a creative rut im so happy to have found a muse again #that being said #unless absolutely necessary i will not be making canon typical dialogue youuuuu can't make me. i have to be funny above all else

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kvothe-kingkiller · 10 months

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the d20 1/20 crit system is so funny

imagine if one in twenty times you cracked an egg it cracked perfectly down the middle and landed in your pan in a perfect circle, and one in twenty times it just exploded across the kitchen

#dnd #like yeah it makes things interesting but its So funny

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