#like you’re telling me the slow burn has been burning for 4 seasons and they’ve been placing things together slowly

[tryingonametaphor]

still thinking about how one of the simplest yet most powerful byler proofs is that stranger things is the duffer brothers’ love letter to DnD and byler is the only couple in the show whose love language is DnD

[winterscaptain]

waldosia.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: this is intended to be part of the ajf universe (berry hill section), but also stands alone! berry hill is probably good to read before this one, just for a little context. this takes place a couple of weeks after berry hill, during the last few minutes of lauren, and continues through the end of season six. there will be two more parts of this section!

summary: the team reels from emily’s loss and finds footing as best they can in the new normal, until, of course, the rug is pulled out from under them again.

words: ~3k warnings: canon death, language, more slow burning

berry hill (part 1) | absence (part 3) | mean it (part 4)

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

There’s nothing worse than the silence of the waiting room. JJ paces back and forth, waiting and watching for movement down the hall. Hotch has been restless as well, sitting and standing and wandering in equal measure. Seaver perches on her chair, her bare toes digging into the rough fabric of the seat. She’s quiet, staring into nothing. 

Dave sits beside her, his elbows on his knees, his hands laced together. His lips never stop moving, and you’re sure he’s praying. It’s odd to see him there without Emily. Much like Derek and Penelope, they usually stick together in tragedy or stress. It’s more than strange to see him without her - almost like missing a limb you didn’t know he had.

 You find your eyes tracking Aaron more often than not. There’s tension in his forehead, and his mouth is tight. Your first instinct is, of course, to soothe his hurt, but there’s so much of your own. He meets your eyes, and you pat the seat next to you. 

With a heavy sigh, he sits down beside you. 

Your voice is quiet, as to not disturb the stillness of the room. “When’s the last time you ate?”

He shakes his head. You reach out and slip your hand into his elbow. He covers it with his own and you lean against each other. Derek and Penelope are in a similar position across from you. She’s tucked under his arm, her hand rubbing back and forth over his chest, still spattered with Emily’s blood. 

You can’t imagine what he’s feeling. If it had been Aaron…

The thought is too unbearable to consider. Aaron’s arm flexes around your hand, and you realized the thought brought your shoulders to your ears. 

“Are you alright?” His voice is the barest whisper.

You nod. “Just thinking of Derek.”

He takes a deep breath. You know he understands. 

‘“I was just...if it had been -”

“Don’t.” His whisper breaks over the word, and his fingers slip between yours around his arm. Your breath catches in the smallest of sobs, and you turn your head into him. 

Hours and hours and hours pass. You think you fall asleep once or twice, but it’s fitful and not at all restful. Hotch is back to pacing - traveling a path from the door to the back room and back to you. 

Eventually, he sits again, leaning against you once more. You can feel the exhaustion radiating from him. At a certain point, you take him under your arm. He leans his head into your shoulder and closes his eyes. You’re certain he doesn’t get any sleep, but you appreciate the effort. It’s all for you. 

JJ returns, and you all straighten, waiting for her to say something. She can’t speak. 

Penelope says something, but you can’t hear her. You can’t hear JJ, though you know her mouth is moving. You sag forward, nearly falling out of your chair. Aaron catches you as he stands, his arms locked around you. 

Spencer rushes past JJ, but she stops him. They speak, but you still can’t hear over the rushing in your ears. You find your feet and turn into Aaron, whose hand presses your head to his chest. Your whole body buzzes with something cold and unpleasant, like a shot straight to your nervous system. You’d take a bullet again, rather than feel this. 

Slowly, he guides you to the chair on the other side of Penelope. You cling to her, Aaron’s jacket still around you. She’s sobbing, and you can’t feel a thing. When you look up again, JJ has her arms around Spencer, who looks much like you. Broken. Soggy. Weak.

Tired eyes track Aaron as he rounds the corner to the back hallway. JJ finds him a minute later, and you still can’t hear them. 

You can’t hear anything. 

+++

The funeral is wretched. When the hearse arrives, you help Aaron with his white pallbearer gloves, buttoning them around his wrists and straightening his tie. Your hands linger on his lapel. His shaky breath shudders through him under your hands, and when you look up at him, his eyes are closed. 

One of his hands covers yours and you grasp his fingers. 

It’s too soon. 

We can’t do this again. 

It’s too soon. 

“There’s never enough time,” he says, almost inaudible. 

You squeeze his hand and release him, smoothing out his coat and collar and the hair at his temples before letting him pass. Derek and Spencer take the first pair of handles, Dave and Anderson the second. Will and Hotch share a look before taking the final pair. 

You offer your arm to JJ, who takes it, and you follow the men across the cemetery. Penelope and Ashley trail behind you, also arm-in-arm. 

Ashley’s been a gift - quiet and warm and observant - through this whole ordeal. You’ve done your best to welcome her into the fold. She doesn’t need to feel like a replacement or a burden. She’s a member of your team. Maybe not a member of your family, but your teammate nevertheless. 

The whole affair is far too quiet, far too solemn, to really be a celebration of Emily’s life. Hotch returns to your side once she’s laid over her grave. He gives you a rose and an arm. You take both, the wool of his coat soft against your fingers. Both he and JJ decided to leave the boys at home, but wouldn’t tell you why. 

Privately, you figure it’s too much for Jack, and it would be best to keep him and Henry together. Two funerals in as many years is too much for anyone, let alone someone just six. Jess is with the boys at JJ’s house. There’s nothing that woman can’t do, and you love her for it. 

Looking around, you realize everyone in attendance is a familiar face. Emily’s mother is the only one you don’t know well, but you’d know a Prentiss anywhere. She dabs at her face with a handkerchief, and a well of spite rises within you. There’s no reason for her to be here.

You’re her family. You will survive her. 

+++

Derek is in shambles. You spend as much time with him as you can, but he’s more withdrawn than you’ve ever seen him. JJ and Spencer have clung together, as have you and Aaron. Dave and Derek aren’t as close, and they’re both wildly independent, so they’ve sort of drifted in Emily’s absence. 

It’s your mission to keep them in one piece - sharing meals and filling empty evenings with movies and poker and company. You find yourself at Dave’s often, with Jack in your lap and Hotch and Derek on either side of you. 

You have rapidly become the team’s backbone - a role you take on with energy and a certain degree of joy. Taking care of them helps you forget your own grief, and never leaves you without company. 

+++

Seaver’s graduation is a spot of joy in an otherwise dreary few months. You shout and whistle at all the appropriate times, remembering all too well what it felt like on the other side. There’s a moment where you share a smile with Hotch, and it almost feels normal. 

“Remember that?” You ask, tipping your chin toward Seaver. She’s beaming, holding her new credentials in her hand as she greets her family. 

He nods. “Do you?”

You snort. “Oh, please. How could I forget?” The day lives rent-free in your mind. Hotch passing you your credentials, badge, and ID tag is a memory that will stay with you forever. 

“Glad I made an impression.” His smirk is well-concealed, but you elbow him in the ribs for good measure. 

“Shut up.” 

He quirks a brow at you, and you grin. 

Almost normal. Almost. 

+++

Your phone wakes you, and you pick it up right away, recognizing your ringtone for Hotch. “Yeah?”

“Hey, it’s me.” 

You flip your bedside lamp on and rub your eyes. You’d be lying if you said you were getting any sleep yourself, and you’re almost relieved you have some kind of company. “Hey, Aaron. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry to wake you -”

“You didn’t.”

He pauses. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I could hazard a guess it’s the same reason as you.” You play with the comforter, the fabric a necessary distraction. “Is Jack still with Jessica?”

“Yeah, for the rest of the week. He’s got a school trip thing, and I didn’t want to leave him if a case came up. They’ll be back from the mountains on Sunday afternoon.” 

Your lower lip disappears between your teeth. “Do you want any company? Sometimes it’s -”

“Please.” He cuts you off, and you snap your mouth shut, already throwing the covers back. 

“I’ll be there soon.” 

The drive is quiet, the Virginia highways barren at nearly two in the morning. You pull into the garage in your usual guest spot and climb the stairs. 

Though you have a key, you knock twice before using it. 

Always good form to warn an armed federal agent when you’re about to enter his home in the goddamn middle of the night. 

He invited you. 

Yeah, still. Would hate to get shot on a night off.

The kitchen light is on when you enter, and you lock the door behind you before checking it out. You leave your shoes at the door and drop your keys in the dish. 

He's standing at the counter, fixing two cups of tea. Wordlessly, he passes one to you. 

You follow him to the bedroom, turning lights off as you go. He slips under the covers, and pats the covers. 

“Thanks for the tea,” you say, settling in beside him. 

It’s become sort of routine. Since Berry Hill, sharing a bed has become far less taboo and far more common. Even when Jack’s home, you’ve set up the couch for yourself before spending the night next to Aaron. That way, you can wake up early and settle in the living room before he wakes up, or make it look like you slept on the couch even if he wakes to find you in his father’s room. 

The element of surprise is always a gift - Jack is more than thrilled to find you whenever you spend the night. He doesn’t know to ask questions, and really you aren’t sure what you’d say even if he did. 

Aaron would probably have the words. He’s good at that kind of stuff. 

You sit together in silence, sipping out of your mugs and enjoying the quiet darkness. When you’re done, you leave it on the coaster on your bedside - well, on the bedside table. 

“Can’t sleep?” You ask. 

Aaron’s been finished for a while, his empty mug on his table. He’s already settled in, laying on his side toward you with his hand tucked under his cheek. “Not tonight.” 

“Is it Emily?” 

He nods. “Yeah, something like that.” There’s more, but he’s never been too good at articulating his feelings. You’ve learned it’s best to just keep him company and not push too hard. 

You slide down, bringing the covers up to your chin. “Come here.” 

He smiles in the dark and wraps you in his arms. It’s already easier to close your eyes, and you know you won’t be half as scared to confront what you find behind them. His breath fans across the top of your head, much more steady than when you arrived. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. Sleep tight, Aaron.” 

He tucks his face into your hair, and after a few moments, you hear his breath slow and even out. You lean back, finding his face completely relaxed. 

That’s better. 

With him asleep, you’re able to tune out your thoughts in favor of his heartbeat against your cheek. 

+++

Jack is long asleep when it’s your turn to need company. You’re on the couch, wrapped in Aaron’s arms, sobbing into his chest. Earlier, you found a bank of recorded shows in your cable box that you were waiting to watch with Emily. The realization that you’d never be able to watch them with her knocked you out at the knees, and there was nothing you could do but sit on the floor and cry. 

When you caught your breath, you called Aaron and took a cab over to the apartment. Your tears didn’t let up for a single moment on the way there, and started anew when you saw him. 

You couldn’t speak, but he just led you to the couch and let you curl up against him. With his cheek against your hair, he rubs your back until you can finally breath without hiccuping. 

“What was it?”

“The shows.” You sniff, and wipe your nose on your sleeve. “I was saving shows to watch with her. They didn’t stop recording. I didn’t think to -” A fresh wave starts, and you tuck your head back into his shoulder. You do your best not to wail, keeping quiet for Jack’s sake, “I didn’t think to stop recording them. I don’t even really like them, but we always watched together.” 

His next words are familiar to you. “It’s all about the routine.” 

Those are the same words you used after Haley died. One of his first breakdowns after her death came when he was packing Jack’s bag for the week, getting ready to drop him off at her place. When he realized there was nowhere to go, nowhere to take him, it knocked the life out of him just like your shows did tonight. 

“Once you find something to fill the space,” you’d told him, “things get a lot easier to manage.” 

And it was true. That was the first weekend he called you to come spend the day with Jack, and your time together patched some of the holes. 

He squeezes you to him. “Do you want to find something to watch together? We can start a new show or maybe movie nights with Jack? Maybe with Will, JJ, and Henry? What do you think?”

You give him a watery smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

+++

Andy Swan is a trip and a half, and you find yourself liking her a little more than you thought you would. She and Aaron have a great deal of history, and you enjoy the way they give each other a hard time - pushing and pulling for control of a stressful investigation. They’re different, but highly complementary in their leadership. 

It almost reminds you of your relationship with Derek - mutual respect in droves, but a supreme lack of patience, and a little more good humor than is actually necessary. 

It’s only when the case is over that shit hits the fan. 

You’re all in the conference room following the successful completion of the case. Doyle, of course, has been on your minds since Emily’s death, and you spend at least fifteen hours a week maintaining the not-so-sanctioned investigation into his whereabouts. 

But this wasn’t about Doyle. 

“I’ve been assigned to a joint task force in Pakistan for an indefinite amount of time.” 

The news knocks the breath out of you, and your eyes flicker around the table. Everyone is just as shocked as you are, though you’d like to imagine the short-circuit you’re experiencing is all your own. 

“What do you mean?” The question leaves your lips before you can stop it, and Hotch’s brown eyes meet yours. There’s an apology in them. 

“Tomorrow, I leave for Pakistan. I’m not sure how long I will be gone. Derek will take over as Acting Unit Chief in the meantime.” 

Derek’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “You’re kidding.” 

“You carried off the job very well last year, and I have no doubt you will have the same amount of success in my absence.” 

Derek looks like he wants to speak again, but refrains. 

“I understand this is less than convenient. You’ll all have the declassified brief in your inboxes by the end of the day today with more information about the transition. You’re all dismissed for the day.” With a final nod, he walks out of the conference room, leaving you all slack-jawed and more than a little confused. 

JJ’s eyes meet yours, and you shrug. You ask, “Has he said anything about this to you?”

“I’ve heard approximately nothing about it,” she replies, peering down the hall. 

Goddamn you, Hotchner. 

He’s packing up his briefcase when you pass his office. You don’t stop, sitting down at your desk. You’re surprised frost doesn’t rise from the ground at your feet.

There’s a moment where he stops at your desk on the way out of the bullpen, but you just stare at him. He opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it. After a moment, he finally says, “Jack is with Jessica tonight.” 

You have no idea what your face looks like, but it’s enough to drop his shoulders and send him on his way, defeated. 

+++

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[fizzingwizard]

Go ahead y’all ask me how I am... do it, I DARE you... after Digimon Adventure: episode 50 - the 1999 equivalent of which, I feel compelled to mention, was “Jou’s Battle,” when Taichi strategically splits his group apart with the goal of gathering the whole team for the final confrontation - I think my emotional state can best be described like this:

meme so funny haha

but the truth is I’m very sad. I just can’t with this show anymore. I don’t know if I’ll continue to review future episodes. Actually, as I was watching this one, I thought it was the final episode, even though I knew there were supposed to be more and it hadn’t been hyped as the finale at all. I just thought, “What else can they do after this? It seems like the kind of ending this shitshow would get. At least it will be a relief to not watch it every week anymore.”

However, let’s be clear that this is NOT the finale. I’m gonna watch till the very end, but idk if I have it in me even to make these depressing little reviews. At first it was fun, then it was meh... I held out and the show got fun again, but the last month or so have been such a drag. And this week’s episode is just the final straw. So we’ll see.

Anyway real episode review below the cut. Warning: I hated everything except for Taichi’s face so it’s mostly caps of him.

Pic of the day:

“At this rate... I’m gonna request a transfer to Boruto...” /Sanpei Yuuko joke

More below

Last week big bad Millenniumon appeared to be resurrected. Here he is.

Totally lacking a clear motivation other than “destroy the world...” Even in appearance, ALL of Devimon’s evolutions mid-season were WAY scarier.

Turns out Taichi and Agumon have faceplanted on this hunk of rock, which immediately breaks off and sends them catapulting earthward.

Wind noise what? Taichi and Agumon encourage each other while freefalling.

Agumon: Hey shouldn’t we have broken every bone in our bodies by now

Taichi: I once broke my leg tripping over Hikari’s hairbrush. This is starting to seem silly.

Meanwhile the others awaken inside what Tailmon explains is a cut-off dimension created by Millenniumon, where they will eventually fall into a dreamless sleep forever and ever.

Millenniumon’s power is immense and he makes volcanos erupt. So his power is he gives the earth digital acne.

Yamato evolves MetalGarurumon and stars just attacking the walls (of... the endless void... lol). This appears to slow Millenniumon down in a total rip-off of the way cooler way Koushirou slowed Diaboromon down in Our War Game.

The Holy Digimon are inspired by Taichi’s courage to fight wheeee I didn’t realize they were having problems with that

no kidding

Taichi fights a lot and escapes certain death a lot. Even when he and WarGreymon take a head-on hit and are sent spiraling into the ocean. Still fine because THE POWER OF BELIEF

Chumbawumba: I get knocked down but I get up again you’re never gonna keep me down

WarGreymon is able to knock the black ball thingy out of Millenniumon’s mouth. This is fortunate because it’s what contains Yamato and friends and now they are able to free themselves thanks to the Holy Digimon, who randomly start acting like the Crests are important. But since we don’t know what they are *cough* they just call them “everyone’s hopes!”

Now let’s interrupt my mocking to appreciate an adorable Taichi waking up face:

Alll the d’aaaaawwwww

... Aaaand his back is broken x’DDD

The HolyDigimon have evolved to Ultimate level! More on that later. First, they divided the group in halves with them, because because. Hikari gets Taichi, Sora, and Koushirou, and Takeru gets Yamato, Jou, and Mimi.

So yes... those Ultimate evolutions... Tailmon becomes Magnadramon and Patamon becomes... GODDRAMON, GOD OF STEELY ABS

no seriously thats all I could think. Magnadramon is all soft and fluffy looking and then Goddramon is like “I HAVE SMALL HEAD HUGE BODY ABS ABS UNTIL KINGDOM COME, VERY MACHO”

He punches Millenniumon in the mouth, of course.

Millenniummon considerately starts to melt. Thank you, Millenniumon. We wouldn’t want Goddramon’s ego to get bruised.

There’s a few good attacks here - I liked Magnadramon’s Apocalypse attack - but like who even cares. The animation is so half-assed that there’s nothing really to appreciate.

Just when it seems Millenniumon’s defeated, he comes back like... this. It’s enormous. Even Koushirou’s digimon analyzer doesn’t know what it is.

Lopmon does though!

bahahaha

but wait what’s this

sparks! are they fireflies????

no they are the hopes and wishes of all the Digimon we’ve met on our journey! how lovely and inspiring! what are they saying?

hopes and wishes: I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE

now I shall spam Taichi looking adorable while being as cliche as an anime protagonist can get.

Good heavens, WHY. WHY WHY WHY. I looooooove Taichi (obviously) but WHY is he the one fighting here?? First it was Taichi, then it was Goddramon/Magnadramon, and now it’s... back to Taichi??? FOR WHAT REASON???

I mean the reason is, we don’t know anyone else well enough to cheer for them the way we cheer for Taichi. As cool as the Holy Digimon are meant to be, I guess the one thing the producers realized is that, uh, they’ve only spent time building up Taichi (and even that, while they’ve done a lot of it, they haven’t done it well).

Kinda cool death scene.

Our heroes wake up no worse for the wear. Millenniumon is gone. Everyone is together and happy. I’m just spamming Taichi again.

his face when Mimi gives him the corsage

Taichi: “Wtf, what is this, is this supposed to mean something??? also didn’t we see this burn to a crisp a few frames ago??”

And we end with a blue sky, which is both the most beautifully animated frame as well as the most Digimon Adventure-like scene in the entire episode -____-

So, like I said, I was all prepared for this to be the inauspicious ending, despite what I’d heard about the number of episodes. But nope, there’s more. Although I’m frustrated beyond belief, I’m somewhat relieved because this does mean there’s still potential to recover somewhat from this utter train wreck of a battle. The big problem is that Millenniumon is a TERRIBLE villain.

The other problem is that the show HASN’T been terrible the whole time. It’s been up and down a lot, but the ups were very much there, and they gave us some stuff I found pretty interesting. Like, I really wanted to know more about what the heck went down between Taichi and DoneDevimon - the fact that only Yamato has any idea about it (Takeru too but he’s a baby) hasn’t been addressed. Then there’s the connections between Devimon and Angemon, SkullKnightmon and Tailmon. Those have been addressed, technically, but they left sooo much room for more.

Then there’s things like the kids’ family situations - my guess is we’ll end up back in the human world at some point quite soon - which were hinted at back when most of the team was exiled to the human world. Really want to see that expanded on.

Mosty of all, what gave me any positive vibes about this reboot at all was the first three episodes, which were pretty good overall - did a lot of things different but still preserved what I felt was most important. We saw Koushirou coming into his own, Yamato being standoffish and slowly opening up, and Taichi being the glue that keeps things together. Those first three episodes are arguably better than the rest of the show combined. And I bet it’s no coincidence that they predate covid-19 (sort of - I mean, covid was already a thing and around, Japan just hadn’t started caring much about it yet).

Episode 4 is when we started hitting misteps, and that’s also when the show went on brief hiatus due to covid. It never got back what made those first three episodes so promising, even during the highs.

I’ll make a list of the things I liked sometime, but I suppose the main points are the ones I mentioned above, plus the arc with Ogremon, and the kids getting new evolutions not seen in 99 Adventure (well, by “kids” I mostly mean Taichi tho - but I thought it meant everyone would get them. Technically, Takeru just did.)

So yeah. I’m  so done with this show and the things is, I just love Digimon Adventure so much, it meant so much to me as a kid. I didn’t expect the same show. I think my expectations were set at a reasonable level, though I knew I had to be cautious about comparing the now and the before too much. This show just hasn’t been able to live up to 99 Adventure, but that’s not even my issue - it’s that it doesn’t live up to other current children’s cartoons either. It’s got no heart. Just think about that, Digimon has got no heart. It’s literally all about the connection between kids and their partners, kids and their friends, kids and their families, and it has no heart! That is failure. It says to me that something got confused in production - there wasn’t enough money, or there was too much staff turnover thanks to covid, etc, and people just lost sight of the story they were planning to tell.

That’s what I think happened. It can’t be fixed at this point, but I’ll still watch till the end and hope for the best. At least maybe I’ll get more Taichi pics to spam.

I probably need to rewatch 99 Adventure soon to get my soul back.

Next week, apparently the Crests will finally matter. My hope is that this whole debacle with Millenniumon is gonna turn out to have been a cover for something much bigger and less boring going on. Millenniumon didn’t even get a villain monologue. He reminded me of the way Mugendramon had been somewhat, more like a puppet than his own person. Makes me wonder if the Vademon were up to more than simply resurrecting a vanquished evil. Here’s hoping.

[life-rewritten]

SPOOKY SEASON! An ode to Mo Dao Zu Shi: one of the best BL story created!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! One last Halloween post and it's about one of my favourite pieces of media in the world of BL, romance, and supernatural stories. Roll your eyes because once again I'm talking about Mo Dao Zu Shi (The grandmaster of demonic cultivation) I mean already with the demons, and cultivation is already hinting why this is Halloween themed, and trust me MDZ has much more than that: from zombies to ghosts, to magical instruments and weapons, and we love our fantasy cultivation sects and clans. Anyhoo, I am here to write a fun post another verdict/review on each of the adaptations available so far for MDZ, yeh you heard me I've listened, read and watched all versions of this masterpiece, and I'm here to tell you to go and do the same for Halloween. Also in case, you haven't heard MTX (the author of MDZ) has another show on its way TODAY! And that's the magnificent, the excellent and incredible Heaven's Official Blessing after marathoning MDZ do that too. 

As always with my verdicts: we have ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these again? 

Country: China Genre: Danmei, Supernatural, Action, Fantasy, Romance, Comedy, BL, Horror,

1.The Book

We begin with the one that started it all. The reason for my devotion and love for this world, for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wang Ji. My heart hasn't stopped loving this book experience. And at first, it wasn't easy to understand all the logic and terms needed to know for this world of cultivation and sects and clans, and magical skills. But once I got the hang of it (maybe after reading it three times I wonder how I had time to do this by the way), this is a book that I keep on returning to, crying to, and just breaking down into a mess too. This book is the most original source for the love story of Wangxian and to be honest its a masterpiece. Now onto the pros and cons, I guess about this adaptation.

Pro: 

First, I would say that this is the most non censored version of MDZ, meaning China couldn't mute the romance or delete scenes because it's the original written story. The romance between Wangxian stands out and makes your heart go through a lot of emotions, from frustration at Wei  Wuxian not realising how he feels for Wang Ji, to pain because of Wang Ji's perceived unrequited feelings for so long, to happiness when they're just together, to confusion at some drunk scenes and then to all-out shock as the story reveals its self to the villains, the background of Weiying's death and more. 

The introduction to all these characters, all of them have a role in the story, all of them are important to keep an eye on, and they all grow and develop throughout the story as we find out more about their circumstances and their own perspective on Wei Wuxian.

Cons but not actual cons

The book is longggggg. The first time I read it I wondered when we would finally get a resolution or hint that Wei Wuxian finally understands what he's been feeling for sooo long, but it took forever and to be honest even though this is a con to me, it also is a positive for those who love slowwwww burns, and slow reveal to the background and development of Wangxians feelings for each other. There are many missions although essential to the world-building and the actual plot/mystery that at first seem so useless and not needed, but they are there for a purpose, and they do help us find out more clues about what's been going on and why Wei Wuxian was brought back from the dead. 

The book is the most non censored version of MDZ, and so there are many questionable moments/questions about Non-consent that occur during moments when Wangxian are drunk. Honestly, these scenes are so weird to me, because they hold so much truth and revelations to Wangji's feelings for Weiying. After all, he's drunk and the most authentic version of himself. There are so many moments (like stealing chickens or showing him the bunnies) that make you just want to cry at his love Weiying and the pain he had to endure when he thought he was never coming back. Still, at the same time, there are many moments where you're like oh wow that escalated, and you feel just a tad discomfort at the idea of the non-con. But like I said these scenes are required for these two to really like give into what they've both been trying to push away or ignore, and it's nice to see how Weiying reacts to his feelings becoming uncontrollable and more prominent. 

There are some moments in the book where things seem vague or unexplained (which the other sources did their own thing with), some characters who are mentioned but not really given enough detail, some plot details where it's not fully understood. However, I do think that because the book is already so long, the most critical information needed was there and the reveal of the mysteries were all done well. I think though that it's better to see how it materialises visually hence the other media adaptations. 

Ratings: 4/5 -It's not easy to pick up the book and read, but I have so much fun returning to it and laughing along with Wei Wuxian's thoughts and ideas about Wang Ji.

2.The Manhua

I was so shook when I found out MDZ has a manhua. Mostly because China wouldn't really make it easy for the book adaptation to be honestly portrayed visually. But the manga shocked me, it is censored, but the writers and the artists are all so obsessed with this book and this couple that despite having to remove or edit some scenes, they draw some additional scenes and post it online so that international fans can still get to see these moments visually. That is incredible, and I'm so grateful that we have a team of people who respect and love the piece as much as the fans do. 

Pros: 

With any graphic novel/manga the art of MDZ is fantastic to see, the characters are brought to life with colour and also the inclusion of chibi drawings to make a moment incredibly cute or funny. Weiying is very naughty, so a chibi drawing of him makes us see him like how he's acting a child. I enjoy the manhua of MDZ so much, and I love how they drew each of the characters and the world. 

Cons but not really cons: 

I think, however, there are better visual sources for MDZ available that is more detailed in terms of characters and includes more information about the world-building. The plot also has to be condensed as well because you can't draw everything from the book. The manhua is also still in the works so, its a very slow upload and it will take years for it to be completed. But this is understandable, and I can't wait to read the full completed copy. If you hate reading and can't stand words, I think the manhua version is for you!

Ratings: 3.5/5 -It’s the waiting that lowered the ratings for me and the fact that I prefer other sources but I’m so grateful for the manhua. 

3.The Show

The one that brought international fans like swarms to this story. Untamed shocked all of us in the BL community as the first time we heard about it, sure it was nice to see that Yibo was cast as Wang Ji, but even then his acting wasn't that profound or praised so we didn't care, and Zhan also seemed like an interesting choice for out Weiying. I think there were an outrage and confusion when we heard this was going to be censored and a bromance. It felt like it made no sense because there's no way really to edit the relationship and love of Wangxian, so people went into the show resentful and worried. But after 20 episodes, the anger, worry and upset were erased. Untamed is a masterpiece, and it blows my mind how censored it is but still not really censored? It deletes the questionable moments in the book but adds the essential parts even where we get to see Wang Ji's feelings (Though obviously not mentioned as feelings but respect). We get to watch Weiying realise how much he cherishes whatever he has with Wang Ji and how much he misunderstood the latter, and how much Wang Ji cared for him. The show as Netflix says is not about just friends. Still, it emphasises the connection between these two using subtext clues and symbolisms, and visual metaphors to make sure the audience knows that these two are soulmates and are meant for each other. Here are the other pros and cons of the show:

Pros:

The acting is incredible, like so good and I can't think of two people who were more suited for Wangxian, Yibo shocked me as Wang Ji because although I knew him (because of Kpop), I didn't really think he would pull of stoic but still vulnerable Wang Ji. He was good at showing the emotions of love and longing that has been connected with Wang Ji. Zhan was an excellent Wuxian, he made me smile, he made laugh, he made me so happy because of his mischievous aura, but he also played serious and emotional and resentful Wuxian well as well. I keep crying every time I see the death scene in the show because it's just so done well.The directors and producers who didn't care about hiding the relationship between these two, they still wanted to be respectful to the writer and the source, and they still wanted to show as much as possible that these two loved each other. For that, I'm so grateful and they did a brilliant job with what they could. The character arcs and development and depth; Its the way they took the other characters from the book and fleshed them out giving each of them more depth, more understanding, more dimensionality and more story connecting to our plot, and it broke my heart how much I loved everyone in this show. The actors all performed so well, and some gave me goosebumps at how well they portrayed their characters  (Xue Yang!!) like stunning and just a great cast.The storyline was also written in an innovative way, the flashbacks were first shown to the audience, how Wangxian became Wangxian and so the audience felt every single hurt and pain that Wang Ji was feeling. We understood why he acted the way he did. The flashbacks also provided plot structure to the mystery and the actual plot of the show, it left clues, and we watched the villains become villains (secretly), we saw how some characters grew. Each of the arcs in the book was told in a way that it flowed together and made sense. Due to this way of structuring the plot the show became so much more profound in the way it messed with our emotions, every death mattered, and every character had their own story and importance to the audience. 

Cons:

The censorship. I've praised how they overcame it, but it's still there, the ending of the show was done this way because of censorship and to be honest I still think everyone should read the book because there are moments where the romance of Wangxian is fun and memorable to see (the confession scene whilst it was done okay in the show because of censorship it doesn't hold as much oomph as it did in the book. Mainly because the events that happened before it was already so filled with angst and drama and the results of the confession Wangxian clinging onto each other despite being in danger is a must-see, the censorship is annoying because it shouldn't be there, it's something that whilst it did help with some stuff, it still feels like an insult to the piece, and it still doesn't sit well with me that China censors their BL. So its a con.

Ratings 5/5  I think I could spend so much time breaking down why Untamed is a masterpiece BL show, but all I can say is despite 50 episodes (longgg) it is worth the time and effort and if you watch BL, go see it. 

4.The Audio

The audio for the MDZ is like my favourite thing in the world. I love Chinese audiobook dramas; it's an incredible experience to listen to. With MDZ, this is what the show would be if it wasn't censored. The actors for the audio drama are amazing, and I love them so much. The audio drama is three seasons with some extra scenes and it's incredible if you don't want to read the book, then just watch and listen to the audio drama because its the same story but its brought to life by the acting and storytelling. Also though there are some scenes removed, I think the audio drama is the next uncensored gem of MDZ that shows Wangxian's romance the best way possible. I squeal, and I laugh, and again I cry at every single moment; their first kiss, the inn scene, the confession (i spend time pausing it just to cry at how good it is) and more. I just love it, and I prefer it to reading the book. Other pros and cons:

Pros:

 The story is structured and told properly, follows all the arcs and events in the book and brings them life by voice acting, and the music is incredible. It's nice to listen to and hear Weiying's thoughts and to also listen to an audible version of the book. The audio drama has all the pros from the book as well.

Cons: 

Nothing much to say about the cons. It is not easy to attain the audio drama in English subs, its hard to download and store it, but once you overcome that it's great. I think the audio drama is the most difficult to obtain.

Ratings: My favourite adaptation  5/5

5.The Donghua

Lastly, we have the Donghua or the anime version of MDZ.  What can I say about this, its brilliant, masterpiece, it's gorgeous. If you think the art for the manhua is good, the donghua takes it to a different level. The visuals are stunning, the animation is breath-taking, and the story is again following Untamed ways of censoring the story but making sure it doesn't remove the romantic connotations and symbolism to Wangxian. The donghua also follows Untameds way of starting with flashbacks to explain what happened to Weiying before it started. I have nothing else to say about how great this is. It's the same thing I've been saying about all these adaptations. The donghua though is the best visual masterpiece for MDZ, in my opinion. 

Pros; 

Packed full with symbolism and clues to the plot, it's detailed so well for the storyline and its an excellent way to tell this story. The music and ost for the donghua are also beautiful and gets me emotional each time I hear it.

Cons: 

Censorship. That's it, that's what it always is. For me, I think the donghua is the most censored version of MDZ? Or maybe I just feel that way despite the subtext clues; I do feel irritated at the censorship in the donghua.  Let's pray Heaven's official blessing overcomes that.

Ratings: 3.8/5 - I love it so much because of the visuals but apart from that I prefer other sources for MDZ. Still the best donghua that exists. 

So here you have in an in-depth and messy conversation about one of my favourite media pieces to existing right now in BL. I think I will never stop singing praises at MXT for creating this story and I think there's nothing else I rather do than just spend times when I need a distraction watching, listening or reading this story again and again. What about you all.  What do you feel about MDZ? What pros and cons do you have for each adaptation? Which is your favourite. And have you been able to get any rest when we know that Heaven's official blessing is out TODAY!! Let me know your thoughts. Happy Halloween, Enjoy it.

[liquorisce]

‘lover’

written for kyoru week, day 4 prompt - lover

@kyoruweekofficial​ ‘s (tysm for organizing

pairing: kyoru, kyo x tohru

fandom: fruits basket

rating: M. this is smut, my loves, i know it starts off kinda pure, but beware. (well i think my otp having sex is pure so fight me.) 

summary: tohru is aggressive and vulnerable (and pregnant). and kyo is weak for it.

Kyo was 16 when he admitted to himself that he loved Tohru. It was simpler at the time because he loved her in a way that you only love someone when you know your love will not be returned, so you give and give and give till your heart was sore, but you still found it in you to give some more. 

But 8 years later, that same love is more complex, because she is by his side, and she returns his love, but tenfold, so much that his heart has forgotten the soreness that it once knew so well. It’s complex and it’s beautiful because the years have changed them, like seasons - shy, needy, bold… comfortable.

And he revels in this comfort, in watching her make her way to their bed, the same way she’s done countless times over the years, but now she’s in a sheer white nightgown, and her belly swells slightly. It’s a moment of wonder for him, everytime he sees her, sees her bump - their little bump - that he’s made it this far, with her by his side, and now they’re about to embark on a completely new journey. 

Tohru is restless tonight and she sits up a while longer, watching the night sky. 

Kyo watches her, quietly, embarrassingly, and feels a tingle as he notices the curves of her body, bathed in moonlight, stunning through her see-through nightgown. 

But he is mindful and restrained, as he ignores the heat from her body, dropping a chaste kiss on her bare thigh. 

When Tohru turns to look at him, her gaze is unreadable. 

It’s startlingly different, outside of his comfort zone, he likes when he can read her expressions, her moods, her touches. 

“… Kyo-kun?” she whispers, and he wonders if her eyes are just the slightest bit glassy, so he responds with touch, the way he knows best, sitting up and wrapping an arm around her, murmuring, “… yeah?” 

“… Do I look… weird… like this?”

He’s a bit stumped at this question, because in the 8 years that he’s had the privilege of loving her, he can testify that he has most certainly, never thought she looked… weird. “Erm, Tohru, I’m not really sure what you,” - 

She caresses the swell of her stomach softly.  “Oh,” he articulates intelligently, “… I,” - 

But he doesn’t get a chance to stumble through explanations because she kisses him, suddenly, aggressive in a way that’s not usual for her. But Kyo is eager to lap it up, flicking his tongue into her mouth. She slips her hands into his hair, pulling him closer, and as someone who truly believed he would never have this closeness, he cherishes it, presses himself against her, and lets his hands caress the sides of her belly. 

“Does Kyo-kun,” she mumbles, between kisses, “still… want me?”  

He pulls himself back, and watches her for a moment, her cheeks flushed. “… Tohru, why would you even ask something like that?” Because it’s been so obvious, he thinks, he’s always wanted her… even when he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Because,” he sees her hesitate, “… I want you, Kyo-kun, and of late it feels like… you don’t feel the same way.” 

And now he’s even more stupefied because he’s not that great with words, especially not in a pinch, so how is he supposed to explain to her that there will never be a day where he doesn’t want her anymore? 

“… God, Tohru,” he murmurs, peppering kisses along her jaw, “… seriously, I wish you could read my mind sometimes…” 

“… But you barely initiate it anymore, I thought,” -  

“You’re an idiot,” he mutters hoarsely, because how could he possibly explain just how much he wants her, how much he wants to touch her, to explore her changing body, to bury himself deep inside her, especially when she looks so beautifully vulnerable. He kisses her roughly, heat suffusing in his touch, as he gives into his curious desire. He’d done his best to hold back, because that’s what he’d been told… make sure she rests, be careful with her, they said… but, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like… like you weren’t…,” wanted. 

Tohru is emboldened by his awkwardly gentle validation, his hands on parts of her that had grown cold waiting for his touch, thrusting into him as she deepens her kisses, asking for more, greedy, wanting.

“… Wait,” he mumbles, powerless as she positions herself onto his lap, lips at his ear. “Are you sure… ah,” he’s cut off as she finds friction against him, his body reacting completely different to his cautionary advice. She’s taking charge today, and ordinarily he’d love it - and he does, his body reminds him, but this pregnancy, it’s new, and scary, and, “... Kyo-kun, you’re not touching me,” she complains, lips pouted and wet, and so alluring that he can’t help himself. How can he not give her what she wants when she asks so sweetly? 

And she is sweet, he reminds himself of that as he gives into her mouth, pure heat, and just a little bit of teeth, his hands sinking into her hips. It’s so new, knowing Tohru this way, her hips rounder and her chest softer, and it’s glorious. He’d always revelled in the feeling of her against him, and now it was just so much… more. He wonders if it’s the same for her, because it’s also the way she reacts, the sounds she makes, like she feels everything so much more intensely.  

He sees it in the little gasp she lets out as she sinks down on top of him, and she’s so wet, he isn’t prepared for just how warm she feels, so his fingers grab onto the curve of her bottoms harshly, steadying her, groaning her name. She pushes him down onto the mattress because she’s impatient today, but consciously so, her neck flushed, as she breathes, “… please, I need this,” and Kyo swears there’s no better sight in the world than this, her hair brushing against her breasts as they sway with the movement of her hips, her mouth parted in pleasure, so he lets her set her pace, needy, a little bit irregular, but incredibly hypnotic. 

“… Tohru,” he gasps, the word broken amidst his laboured breathing, because she’s really picking up the pace, and he can’t keep this up, and he tries to tell her with his hands, squeezing wantonly around her breasts but it only intensifies this feeling, especially with her sweet whispers of “ah, Kyo, you feel so good…”. 

He wants to watch her enjoy it, he really does, but the sight and feel of her is already too much, his head thrown back, panting. “Oh,” he whispers, “please,” slow down is what he desperately wants to say, but it’s too much, and it’s too incredible, and Kyo is only human. 

“Tohru, I’m gonna,” he whispers urgently, lifting himself up to steady her, but his words can’t catch up with his body, and he releases into her, shuddering, his lips feverish against her chest. 

This is an embarrassing moment he hasn’t had in years, and he feels guilty, but it’s amazing because Tohru’s still arching, grinding against him, and it’s so rare, he loves it, these precious moments when she selfishly seeks her own pleasure. “Hey,” he rasps, nipping down on the tips of her breasts, successfully returning her dazed gaze towards him, as he gently pushes her off of him. 

“… I… want to make you feel good too.” 

“Wha… I,” she colours, snapping out of her daze as she squeezes her thighs, shivering when she feels the extra wetness. “Kyo-kun it’s okay,” she mumbles, but he’s laying her down and there’s a small smile playing out on his lips, his hair disheveled beautifully, as he settles himself between her legs with purpose. 

She squeezes her eyes shut, because she knows what he’s going to do, and they’ve been together for so long but she still doesn’t know what to do with herself when - “ah, Kyo-kun,” - he goes to work with his tongue. 

And he’s really, really, good, because he knows her by now, knows that she’s pretty and polite, but she likes to be tortured slowly, lavishing gently, nipping sometimes just slightly, even if she struggles a little bit to let go of herself under him this way. 

She could be wrong, but she begins to suspect that Kyo doesn’t mind the taste of him (off her), because he doesn’t restrain himself, giving generously, unafraid of the wet noises her body makes, his grip firmly keeping her legs splayed for him. 

He lets up for air, and she chances a look at him, his tongue reaching out to lick at his lips, glistening because of her, and he catches her eyes, and his look smoulders. 

And it really does burn, in the pit of her belly, as Kyo reaches a thumb out to flick lazily where he knows she likes it best, but she lets him know anyway with her gasps, her incoherent begging that intensifies when he slips two fingers within her, setting a pace that really doesn’t fit with his requests for carefulness thirty minutes ago.  

He sees her quicken and knows she’s close, so instead of finishing her off like he knows she desperately wants, his cruel streak comes to play as he murmurs, “… in such a hurry today, huh,” as he languidly slips the same two fingers into her parted mouth. 

It’s unbelievably erotic. 

And she feels it through her body as she quivers, her tongue automatically swirling around his fingers, sucking lightly.  

He likes it, and it shows in his eyes, in the way they darken, and he brings his lips to hers hungrily. His kisses are intoxicating, a heady buzz spreading over her skin when his fingers are back on her clit, rough, exacting, and all she can do is keen against him, breath hot against his lips as she splinters, falling back onto the bed, her arms loosely pulling him down with her. 

He settles beside her, draping her in his arms, as he feels her breathing slow. He can feel himself get excited again, because he enjoys it, watching her come apart under his mouth, his fingers. But he can see her eyes drooping, blissfully sated and that satisfies him in a completely different, ridiculously cheesy, heart-full-of-love kind of way. 

He reaches over and places a soft kiss on her jaw as he sighs, muttering. “… You’re supposed to be resting, you crazy woman, not riding your husband dry.” 

She giggles, breathy, “… Well, I didn’t hear you complaining when it was happening.” 

- fin - 

[queen-of-the-avengers]

There’s a Reason for Everything

Characters: Loki Laufeyson x Fire Goddess!Reader, Thor Odinson, Steve Rogers, Vision, Wanda Maximoff, other minor characters

Word Count: 1,870

Warnings: heatstroke, super fluffy

Request by @previouslyforgotten​: Ok so your request are open. Yay! Okay so this one is a little like dumb but it’s been an idea in my head for awhile. So the reader is from Asgard and she has fire powers and she hates the summer time bc when it gets real hot she has these ‘heat waves’ where the room may not be hot but she’s like sweating and can’t breathe bc she feels it’s real hot. ‘N maybe this takes place in the avengers tower? Since Loki’s body runs cold, he’d come and cool her down. So he’d come cool her down and it’s been like this since they were kids. So one day she comes down to the kitchen and Tony is like “you don’t look so good” and she’s like bout to pass out ‘n maybe like Thor knows exactly whats goin on so he catches her and calls 4 Loki and Loki comes in n grabs her and once they leave the room Thor explains to everyone what happened n it’s just fluff.

Summary: Every summer, you experience the worst kind of heatstrokes, so much so that you need the only Frost Giant you know to help you feel better. Luckily for you, he loves helping you.

Squares Filled: heatstroke for @badthingshappenbingo​ // healer for @marvelfluffbingo​ // showing you care without words for @fluffbingo​

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

You’ve always been different than the other people on Asgard. Your father was born and raised here, but your mother came from an entirely different galaxy. She stopped at Asgard for reasons you still don’t know, met your father, fell in love, had you, then left immediately. Your father is the one who raised you, and now that you have time to think about it, it is the best thing that he could have given you. Your mother wanted to take you with her to wherever she was going, but your father fought for you.

Thank God he won because you wouldn’t have met your two best friends in the entire universe. Your father was very close to the royal family, so you practically grew up with Thor and Loki. You three did everything together--they were your best friends. However, you were always closer to Loki than with Thor.

What makes you different than everyone else on Asgard is that your mother was a fire queen. She was called that where she lived, and she happened to pass on her gene to you. Maybe that’s why she wanted to take you with her. Nonetheless, you have the exact powers as she did. Your father didn’t have any powers at all, so you take after your mother in every way possible.

While having fire powers is great, it absolutely sucks during the summer months. Your get overheated, your body goes into shock from the amount of heat you produce, no one wants to be near you when you get like this, and you suffer in silence while everyone else stays cool. Air conditioning and fans don’t help you in the slightest. The only thing that has gotten you a moment of relief is an ice bath, but that only lasts for so long because you melt all the ice.

It’s great having your powers in the winter months since you provide most of the heat to all of Asgard during that time. The other two seasons are perfect for you--not too hot yet, not too cold. It’s a pain in the ass to deal with, but there is always one thing you know for sure will work on keeping you cool.

It’s Loki.

He’s a frost giant which means he’s practically chilled to the bone. He doesn’t get hot at all, and when you two were little, he would always make fun of you for it. He’d tease you and barely give you a moment of relief before taking it all away and letting you suffer. You’d cry and beg for him to stay by you, but he’d never listen. The only way that he would is if his mother told him to stop being so mean to you.

As you grew older, that became a whole different thing completely. He didn’t get so mean whenever you asked for his company. He’d do it with a smile and let you cuddle him while he read a book. He’d keep cold thoughts and his body temperature low just so you wouldn’t suffer any longer.

This kind of became the thing that only the two of you would share. During the summer months, no one would barely see you or Loki since you two had run off to be alone. During the winter months, Loki would cling to you in a desperate attempt to get some warmth. He’s always hated his heritage and where he came from, so you do your best to distract him from that.

Through this intimate way to stay cool, you two formed a bond you’d share with no one else. Loki is your rock, the person you go to when you’re overheating, the person who would listen to all your troubles, and the person who would turn your nightmares into dreams. The longer you two stayed together, the more his feelings for you have grown.

Not only is he the only person who can keep you cool long enough, but he’s also the only one you want to do this with. If anyone else came up to you and offered to provide you with infinite coldness, you wouldn’t take it because then Loki wouldn’t get to do what he does every summer. He holds, pets your hair, tells you stories, and warms your heart.

It took you a long time to figure out what exactly he makes you feel, but you know now that it’s love. You love Loki, and despite never saying it, he knows it. You could be halfway across the universe from him and he’d still know it.

It’s not halfway, but you do spend your days on Earth with the rest of the Avengers. Loki is on Asgard, and Thor likes to come visit every once in a while, with news about Asgard and Loki. It’s peaceful to know that Loki is doing okay even though he had such bad intentions from the start. All of Asgard has forgiven him, and it looks like all of Earth is coming to that realization soon too.

You’ve only been here for almost a year, and it’s been so hectic that you hadn’t even realized it’s summer now. The average temperature in New York is 84 degrees, but it can get up to 108 degrees. There are other parts of the world that get even hotter, and you’re thankful that you’re not there during their summer months. However, New York is known for its humidity, so it makes the heat even worse with that much moisture in the air. It’s why you don’t go out at all during the summer.

Tony likes to keep his tower cool, and you’re so thankful for that. But it doesn’t stop the heat from spreading even in the chilliest of rooms. You wake up on the first day of summer just covered in sweat. You have to drink so much water because you’re sweating it all out, but there isn’t any water in your room. You’ll have to go to the kitchen if you’re going to even think about surviving in this heat.

Your steps are slow, your breathing is ragged, and your entire body is red as if you’ve been out in the sun for too long. Not yet a sunburn, but enough to let whoever looks at you know that you’re hot. You pass by the thermometer on the wall, and it says it’s 70 degrees inside the tower. 70 isn’t enough to keep you cool. You’d go to Antarctica, but you’re finding it very hard to make it to the kitchen right now.

Tony, Wanda, Natasha, Steve, Vison, and Thor are all in the kitchen just chatting away, so they don’t see you when you stumble in. Your vision is getting blurrier by the second, and your breathing is picking up. Your body temperature is increasing tremendously--almost to a point where you can cook things on your skin.

“I don’t think it counts that Vison can pick up the hammer. He’s not even a person,” Tony states.

“Do you think my magic can pick it up?” Wanda asks.

“You’re not worthy,” Steve shakes his head.

“That’s rude of you to assume,” she jokes.

“Go ahead, little witch, try. Many have and many have failed. Actually, all of them have failed,” Thor laughs.

You stumble into the closest thing near you, and that captures everyone’s attention.

“Whoa, you don’t look so good,” Tony states as everyone else gets up to help.

They don’t know you act this way since they’ve never dealt with you in the summer months before, but Thor knows this all too well. Your knees give out below you, and Thor is right by your side to catch you as soon as you fall. You’re burning his skin, but he sets you down gently before letting go of you.

“What’s wrong with her?” Natasha asks.

“Heimdall, I need Loki. It’s Y/N, she’s overheating again. Please hurry,” he says to the air.

Heimdall hears this quite clear, and he’s already sending for someone to get Loki.

“What’s going on, Thor?” Steve asks.

“Don’t touch her or you might burst into flames. It happened to me once. I’ll explain once Loki gets here but get anything that’s cold. The colder the better. Go!”

Everyone disperses at his command, and Thor moves your hair away from your face. Due to your powers activating, your hair is starting to turn into a fiery orange and red, but it’s faint. The longer you go without being cooled down, the more your hair will turn to flames. The Avengers bring you things that are cold, but none of it is enough to keep you satisfied. Everything melts too quickly as soon as it touches your skin.

Loki doesn’t take long to get to Earth as soon as he hears you’re overheating. He knows exactly where you are because he asks Heimdall every night to check up on you. He rushes into the tower and over to your unconscious body on the ground. Thor backs up to let Loki do his job while everyone else watches from behind him.

“I’ve got you, darling,” Loki whispers as he picks you up bridal style.

He briefly meets Thor’s eyes before taking you away. All the Avengers in the room look at Thor for an explanation. He begins his story with the first time you set him on fire.

Loki brings you to your bathroom so he can spoon you while in the tub. He’s afraid you might set everything on fire in your room. The bathtub is porcelain, so he doesn’t have to worry about you setting it on fire. He strips down to his boxers and you to your bra and panties. With that, he gets you and he settled into the tub with you right in front of him. He usually doesn’t do this, but he doesn’t know how long you’ve been overheating for, so he wants to make sure before he moves this to the bed.

His body is ice cold against your heated one, but it does the trick in cooling you down. He doesn’t let go of you until you open your eyes. Once your body is at a normal-ish temperature for you, you groan and sway your head to the right.

“Loki?” you whisper as you open your eyes.

“I’m right here, darling.”

“What happened? Did I overheat again?”

“I’m afraid so. Don’t worry, I came just in time. Didn’t want you to set the tower on fire,” he tries to make light of the situation.

“I missed you,” you mutter as his body cools down yours. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I can’t for the next few months. Who knows when you might overheat again.”

“I’m serious. I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.”

“Then I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers into your ear.

He kisses the side of your head, and you sigh in relief from how cold his lips are. Maybe there’s a reason why he’s the only one who can do this for you. Maybe there’s a reason why opposites attract because you two balance each other out.

Hot and Cold.

Ice and Fire.

Two hearts as one.

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[chidoroki]

TPN soundtrack

I’ve been listening to the OST very frequently again due to season 2 now being delayed until 2021 and.. hm, recent manga events. Some songs are very memorable to the point where I can see the anime scene in my head, while others had me think a bit more until a certain scene clicked. Even after re-watching the entire first season multiple times over the past year, there were still a handful of tracks from the OST that I didn't recognize at all. So, I spent an entire night watching all 12 of those episodes (yet again, because what else am i to do during this quarantine) to find where these songs might be hiding. I took note of all of the tracks actually, even those that went unused after some digging around.. and this is the result.

When & where do the wonderful songs of The Promised Neverland play?

Vol.1

Introduction: (im actually surprised how often this one is played)

EP1 (first minute) - When our favorite trio of young kids inspect the gate.

EP1  (10:48-13:10) - After the first game of tag, when the children are near the fence talking about those that left the house and their own   personal wishes.

EP3 (9:19-10:21) - While Emma finds the tracker's location on Carol.

EP6  (3:59-6:09) - When the trio learns about the clues WM left behind via morse code while Don & Gilda enter Isabella's secret room.

EP7 (3:03-4:12) - When Krone tells the kids about the chip attached to the adult's heart.

EP9 (12:52-14:50) - When Ray reveals he never experienced infantile amnesia.

As a Soft Morning Sunrise:

EP1 (2:56-4:25) - While the kids are waking up and getting ready for breakfast.

Tag:

EP1 (7:46-8:28) - While Norman is chasing after Emma. The song itself actually starts around its 40sec mark.

EP4 (5:24-6:12) - When playing tag in teams. Skips the very beginning of the song again.

Studying for Exams:

EP1 (5:13-6:21) - While taking the morning test.

Cold-hearted Isabella:

EP2 (11:25-12:20) - While Isabella questions Emma in the hallway about her odd behavior and they talk about Conny.

EP4 (15:06-16:17) - When the note about the rope is slipped under Isabella's door and Gilda goes to talk with Krone.

Training for Escape:

EP3 (14:14-15:18) - When the trio first test the children's abilities by playing tag and gives them advice.

Tight Tension:

EP1 (17:50-19:00) - When the demons are talking about the farms and we learn Isabella is an enemy.

Isabella's Lullaby: (this song is perfection!)

EP1 (14:13-14:32) - The melody is hummed by Isabella while taking Conny to the gate.

EP1 (19:53-21:20) - After Emma & Norman return to the house and get the idea to escape. The full song is played this time.

EP10 (10:32-12:50) - During Norman's shipment scene after he stops Emma from hurting herself and says goodbye to her.

EP10 (20:12-20:37) - The melody is sung briefly by Ray.

EP11 (9:54-10:19) - Isabella hums the melody again while putting the babies to sleep.

EP12  (17:31-18:20 & 18:48-19:44) - The melody is hummed by Isabella and  then Ray during the flashback. After the flashback, the melody is heard  again and then transitions into "TPN Main Theme 2."

Demon's Manifestation:

EP1 (17:40-17:49) - When the demons first appear. It actually transitions right into "Tight Tension" rather smoothly.

Emma's Sorrow:

EP4  (11:08-14:12) - When Don & Gilda are told the "truth" in the   library and join the escape plan. Continues when Ray questions Norman   after in the hallway and ends while Emma & Gilda chat in their room.

Dancing Krone:

EP3 (16:45-18:08) - While Krone joins the kids in a game of tag.

63194 (Emma’s theme): (personal favorite! i pray it plays whenever we get to the Goldy Pond arc)

EP2  (17:50-20:32) - During the trio's conversation near the wall, when   Norman gets Ray to join the escape plan despite Emma being so adamant   about not leaving any child behind.

EP8 (19:06-20:55) - After Isabella cleanly breaks Emma's leg.

Vol.2

TPN (Main Theme 1):

EP9 (16:22-18:37) - When Norman finds the pen and finally climbs the wall.

EP11  (16:57-20:10) - From the end of Norman's letter to Emma, while she   starts the fire and ends as the kids prepare to scale the wall.

GF House:

EP2 (8:19-9:22) - When Isabella returns with Naila sleeping in her arms and Norman suspects the use of tracking devices.

EP4 (8:31-9:22) - While the trio is walking up the stairs to the library before talking with Don & Gilda.

81194 (Ray's theme):

EP5 (2:41-5:29) - When Ray confirms himself as Isabella's spy.

Tension:

EP1 (16:31-16:59) - After Emma drops Little Bunny at the gate.

EP6  (7:21-9:05) - Upon Don & Gilda finding Little Bunny in the secret room along with Isabella's communicator while the trio are questioning the morse code for "promise" upstairs in the library.

EP7 (12:28-13:55) - When Krone catches Emma & Norman keeping secrets after their conversation.

EP10 (2:01-2:50) - When Norman draws out the plantation's map.

Corpse Found: ???

Unused. Yes, this track is actually different from the one played in the anime when Norman sees Conny's dead body.

Krone's Scheme:

EP3 (6:47-7:25) - While Krone is in her room talking to herself about getting Isabella fired.

EP4 (3:40-4:13) - In her room again, after being scolded by Isabella.

Existence of an Insider:

EP5  (8:40-11:06) - During the later half of Ray and Norman's conversation about Ray actually being a double agent. Continues as Ray leaves into   the hallway and shows off his wonderful slasher smile while Norman is   thinking on the bed.

Emma's Agony:

EP2 (2:45-4:42) - When Norman & Emma are talking about what they saw and heard the previous night at the gate.

EP5  (14:45-16:44) - When Emma calls Ray's bluff about him actually   accepting the idea of having everyone escape, then threatening him not   to sacrifice anyone for their sake ever again.

EP6 (11:14-12:40) - When Don confronts the trio in the dinning hall about their lies and demands the whole truth.

EP11 (3:26-5:24) - When Ray reveals his plan about setting the house on fire and suggests escaping at night.

Isabella's Lullaby (No Vocal Version): ???

Unused. It's still pretty though.

Krone on the GF String:

EP8 (6:22-9:48) - During Krone's flashbacks and her final moments.

TPN (Pf solo Version):

EP4  (18:27-21:16) - While Ray and Norman discuss a traitor's possible   motives, continues during Emma's talk with Norman about saving the   traitor, ends when Norman calls out Ray being said traitor after   discovering the rope under the bed was taken.

EP6 (17:00-18:55) -  When Emma tells Norman about a potential plan to catch Isabella   off-guard. Norman then finds the lighter fuel Ray has been hiding.

EP10 (5:09-7:50) - During Norman's flashback of when he was sick and used the cup phones to talk with Emma & Ray.

EP10 (16:52-19:16) - In the infirmary when Emma refuses Isabella's offer to become a mom.

Vol.3

TPN (Main Theme 2): (very similar to the previous main theme, but apparently this one has different cords at the end. for the life of me i honestly can't tell the difference myself)

EP12  (19:45-21:09) - While the kids are running free and Isabella returns to  Phil and the other young children. Ends as the escapees witness their  first sunrise outside.

Prison Break: (second favorite!)

EP12  (5:55-8:41) - Starts when Isabella alerts headquarters about the   escape, continues when the kids show off the training they've   accomplished in order to cross the cliff, which Don then demonstrates.

Strategy for Escape: ???

Unused. Composer Takahiro Obata imagined the trio planning their escape. (it's a shame because i actually really like this one.)

Emma's Determination:

EP6 (13:30-15:50) - After Don punches Norman & Ray. Everyone then apologizes to each other.

EP9 (9:50-11:15) - When Emma gives Ray the idea to break his arm and get sick so neither of them get shipped.

Grandma and Demons:

EP3 (10:46?  11:05-11:22) - During Isabella's nightly check in with Grandma Sarah   while the demons talk about the harvest. The first couple seconds sound different in the anime than the actual track.

EP11 (7:30-9:02) - Upon Ray pouring lighter fuel on himself.

Isabella's Lullaby (Mandolin Version):

EP12 (14:13-14:40 & 15:27-17:30) - During Isabella's flashback of Leslie.

Analysis for Escape: ???

Unused. Composer thought of the trio analyzing their situation.

22194 (Norman's theme): (if this song doesn't make you tear up, you're lying)

EP7 (5:28-7:33) - The five discussing Krone's offer about receiving more information. (i had no memory of hearing it this early, but surprise)

EP9  (5:17-6:50) - When Norman fetches a glass of water. And then drops it. Because oh god, this boy just realized that he's dying tomorrow.

EP12 (1:28-4:00) - When Phil is told the truth about the house.

Their Own Thoughts: ???

Unused. Composer thought about Conny who didn't want to leave.

Reasoning for Escape:

EP3 (4:08-5:45) - In Isabella's office when she informs Krone that some of the kids found out the secret.

Ray's Retaliation: (third favorite! i also enjoy it more than his actual theme, oops)

EP8  (13:41-15:27) - Upon Ray getting locked inside Krone's old room by   Isabella, though he eventually escapes. Ends before mother dearest   catches up with Emma & Norman at the wall.

EP11   (11:30-13:25) - When Isabella enters the burning dinning hall, while the children escape the house. Ends when poor mother finds Emma's ear and   realizes she's been fooled by a bunch of children.

TPN (Epf solo Version): ???

Unused. Played in the drama CD though, apparently?

Bonus. If you thought the lullaby was played more, then you're not entirely wrong. Many of the tracks include the same melody:

Isabella's Lullaby [all of it, of course]

Emma's Sorrow [once from 0:24, (maybe again in the middle i think?) and then 2:02]

63194 (Emma's theme) [1:35 - 2:12]

TPN (Main theme 1 & 2) [once from 1:08, then again from 2:18, and finally 3:30]

Emma's Agony [the entire song is like a slowed down version]

Isabella's Lullaby (no vocal version) [all of it]

TPN (Pf solo version) [all of it]

Prison Break [once from 0:51 then again after 1:45]

Emma's Determination [slightly at 0:26, more noticeable at 1:28]

Isabella's Lullaby (Mandolin version) [all of it]

Ray's Retaliation [1:26 - 2:18]

TPN (Epf solo version) [all of it]

So, there we go. Perhaps others might find this as interesting as I did. If not, then no big deal. It allowed me to watch season one again, so I can't complain. The wait for next season might have grown longer, but  that shall not stop me from talking about the anime. Here's hoping we can hear those unused tracks in future seasons as well.

[ascottywrites]

The Sterek List --Heads

I have a guilty pleasure in enjoying Sterek (Heads) and Steter (Tails) fanfiction, if you could not tell by the last post, it's crazy outta control like woah. I hope you enjoy this list of fics that make my day while keeping me up during all hours of the night and tossing my free daylight moments down a swirling time vortex.

 ...don't be like me. It's probably for the best.

           --Sterek a.k.a Stiles Stilinski/ Derek Hale--

  *a.k.a the inappropriate light of my life 

Move A Mountain by ZainClaw (Complete: 9/9| 69,008) --Sterek/ --Biker!Derek 

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

Racing With The Wind by lowlifetheory (Complete: 3/3| 26,478) --Sterek/ --Biker!Derek

'Sure thing Scott, I'll give him a ride,' Derek practically leered. Stiles faltered, the sudden image of Derek pinning him down, his muscular torso rippling with movement. Derek's smile spread into a smirk as Stiles got closer.

'I'm not really comfortable with this particular mode of transport.' Stiles said clutching the helmet. He wondered what it was made of, how secure it was, would it save his life if he fell off?

'Don’t worry, I know how to handle her,' Derek said resting a warm palm on Stiles's shoulder, fingers squeezing slightly as he guided Stiles closer to the massive hulking black bike.

'I should hope so,' Stiles muttered glaring at the motorbike.

The Feeling That I’m Under by wearing_tearing (Complete: 20/20| 289,584) -- Sterek/ --Biker!Derek Bunnysuit/Paramedic!Stiles

Stiles is a paramedic and Derek gets into a bike accident. It’s kind of love at first sight.

Part of the Pack by JusteAmusant (Complete: 7/7| 13,035) --Sterek 

Season one of Teen Wolf, seen through Sterek-colored glasses. Canon Divergence after season 1 idk there's slow burn Sterek and a puppy, and way more Derek sneaking in through Stiles' window

“He could have shifted in front of them,” Derek hisses. “That means they find out about him, and in turn find out about me.” He pauses. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a washing machine, what the hell does it look like? It’s a puppy.”

In which Derek is a struggling Alpha, but still the Pack Dad, and oh god, does that mean Stiles is the pack mom?

(There's) Sulphur in Our Blood by WonderWolf (wip: 18/20| 178,650) --Sterek 

"Harris put you on a recon mission with Derek. You. Alone with Derek. On a mission. Together,” Scott says, slowly. “Does Harris want you dead?”

“I believe so," Stiles says gravely.

(Secret Agent AU where Derek blames Stiles for his sister’s death and Stiles is pretty sure that Derek’s going to murder him. As if that weren’t enough to deal with, Stiles’ familiar keeps having public breakdowns. Oh, and there’s a mole in the agency, so there’s that too).

Prince Among Wolves by Rawren (Deshonanana) (Complete: 20/20| 101,000) --Sterek 

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

Pretty Human Virgin Boy Comes to the Pond- Feed Him All the Best Heads by Delta_Immortal (Complete: 8/8| 49,771) --Sterek/ --Dark!Derek 

Stiles knew it was a bad idea to go into the woods, but little did he know his actions would cause the death of everyone around him. Running from the thing that killed Danny, Scott and Stiles stumble upon a pond, which happens to hold a strange man named Derek who floats around in the middle of it. Derek assures them they're safe now.

What appears to be salvation is nothing more than the start of the death of everyone Stiles cares about. The being known as Derek haunts him at every turn, unsatisfied until Stiles succumbs to Derek's whims. Stiles isn't sure if that involves sexing him or eating him, and he really doesn't want to find out.

*This had me like Holy Crap

It Was a Wednesday by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (Complete: 2/2| 80,119) --Sterek

What happened? Where are you? What’s that sound?” Derek jumped, having momentarily forgotten Scott was on the phone with him because Stiles had started moving. He’d stalked over to the other side of the cave, still eying Derek warily and growling, then settled protectively over a mass of clothes, leaves and animal innards. It was probably where he was sleeping. Lovely. No wonder he smelled like death. “Stiles,” Derek said, answering Scott’s question. Or, one of them, at least. “Stiles? What do you—Stiles is making that noise?” “Yes.” “Why?” “How fast do you think you can make it to the south lot of the Preserve?”

*Looking for that Stiles whump? 

I'll Be With You Through The Dark by the_misfortune_teller (Complete: 61/61| 138,101) --Sterek

"Me and Scott talk about everything, about all my poor decisions.” “So I’m a poor decision?” “Probably, yes. Considering how you rudely threw me out of your apartment the other day after convincing me to kiss you and admit that I like you." ~ Set post Season 2 finale. Stiles is having a rough time at home and finds himself going to Derek for help in Scott's absence. He doesn't expect for Derek to end up turning to him for support, leading to something more than just friendship between them. Slow, slow, fluffy slow build!

*Based on the spoilers that just keep on coming, this is very likely to be canon divergent for s3!*

I Think the Problem Here is There's Nothing Wrong by wait_for_it (Complete: 1/1| 5,156) --Sterek 

"Stiles wasn’t really sure what was going on, but if he had to guess, he’d say Derek Hale was losing his touch. The amount of times he’d been called out with the guy, presumably to stake out some new supernatural baddie only to have it be a false alarm, was starting to inch into the double digits."

In which Stiles and Derek are dating and everyone knows it. Except Stiles.

The One You Choose by Livinginfictions (Complete: 7/7| 13,440) --Sterek 

Stiles hadn’t seen Scott in over a week, except for glances he caught during school hours.

How I Long For Yesterday by sweetbutterbliss (Complete: 1/1| 6,017) --Sterek

Stiles blinks, his throat going dry, and he moves his thumb without thinking - liking the post. He feels a surge of petty satisfaction. At least the fucker will know he knows now. He stands up, his body feeling too heavy, and he blows out the already guttering candles. He lets out a sob of frustration when the last one won't fucking blow out. But he sucks it back in and bites down on his tongue, using his thumb and forefinger instead.

He throws himself into their empty bed without undressing. He lies there repeating the words 'Derek blew me off for Isaac' over and over. He tells himself to shut up while rearranging his pillow violently, but he goes to sleep with the refrain continuing its painful loop.

And You Say You're Alone by taelynhawker (Complete: 1/1| 30,314) --Sterek

Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter's untimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derek try to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles deals with the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between he and Scott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, and that includes Stiles.

Can't Take the Heat? by Ilovesocks_24 (Complete: 15/15| 55,425) --Sterek/ --Chef!Stiles Chef!Derek 

Hi, I’m Stiles, and what I have for you today is…”

“Stop, just stop.” Grumpy Eyebrows interrupted. “That is honestly the worst looking Pasta Primavera I have ever seen. I don’t even want to eat it, it looks so bad.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes. No one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara without even trying it. And no one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara after they tried it either. “It’s actually a Creamy Bacon Carbonara, asshole,” Stiles snapped. “And for the record, it’s supposed to look like that.”

Or the one where Stiles is a new sous chef at Full Moon Steakhouse and Derek is the Gordon Ramsay of all head chefs. So of course they fall in love.

*This is one of my favorites

Love Runs Wild by DevilDoll for neptunepirate (Complete: 1/1| 9,494) --Sterek/ Neckz 'n' Throats

"You've got a hickey on the back of your neck!" A Neckz 'n Throats story.

If I Could Trade Mistakes For Sheep, Count Me Away Before You Sleep by alisaj (Complete: 1/1| 33,383) --Sterek

"Thing is, Stiles," Derek says, his voice hard and unfaltering. "I didn't sign up for you. You just hung around until we got used to you being here."

That stings. He hadn't realised how Derek feels about him. They've been getting on quite well, teaming up on little missions and bantering back and forth without malice. Stiles sometimes lets Derek crash in his room after a big fight, trying not to let on how intriguing he finds the werewolf.

"Well now we can get used to you not being here. You're a liability, Stilinski. You can't protect yourself and we always end up having to help you when we've got more important things to do. You're out of the pack."

or

The one where Derek is a terrible Alpha and Stiles ends up walking into a big pile of shit.

Teach Me How Love Goes by RoseByAnyOtherName17 (Complete: 1/1| 9,482) --Sterek 

Derek asks Stiles to have sex with him. Stiles says no, because he doesn't want to get his heart broken again. Somehow it happens anyways, but really, it's his own fault. He's the one who fell in love with Derek against despite knowing how bad an idea it was.

a taste for the forbidden by demonicweirdo (Complete: 1/1| 5,982) --Sterek 

Stiles narrows his eyes. “I haven’t been doing anything to you.”

“Bullshit,” Derek snaps.

The air in the room grows colder. “I swear it. The only magic I’ve used around you is to make your crops grow!” Stiles takes a step away. “How could you think that I would… You know what? Screw you, buddy. I’m sick of walking in circles around you.” His words are sharp and annoyed, and his shoulders are tense, as though he’s preparing for a fight. “You feel something for me? Wow, it must be sorcery! Because - what? I’m not good enough for your feelings, Derek?” he snarls.

Hello, Heartbreaker by astoryaboutwar (Complete: 1/1| 18,472) --Sterek

It’s a popular joke among Alphas: fuck an Omega, get heartbreak on your hands. Omegas are fragile little emotional things, needy and whiny. Stiles refuses to become that, or to believe that he’s anything like that.

Stiles and Derek have been fuckbuddies for a while when Derek loses his memories of the past three years - and them - in an accident. (Also - everyone's a werewolf, and everyone's alive.)

Bruises and Bitemarks by orphan_account (Complete: 27/27| 121,566) --Sterek 

Biologically, Stiles is weak. When he presented as an omega, he knew that to be the truth but that never stopped him from running his mouth as a defense mechanism. However, it could only save him so many times before he ended up pissing off the wrong person. After he's attacked in the parking lot outside of school, Stiles realizes he can no longer protect himself with just pure wit and sarcasm. When the attack lands him in the hospital, his dad forces him to pick between two options, report the alphas who attacked him or join a kickboxing gym run by omega rights activist and alpha, Derek Hale, a man Stiles has been in love with for many years. *Now includes an extended chapter featuring Nate/Jupiter*

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus_22 (Complete: 13/13| 135,577) --Sterek 

“We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“

“Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.

“He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible. Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate

[stokeme--aclipper]

Just as you are

Summary:

Anna has never been concerned about finding Mr Right and after a falling for Mr Wrong again and again, she's ready to give up altogether. Then she meets Kristoff Bjorgman. And she thinks maybe her luck is changing except there's one issue: he's an arrogant toerag.

Links: Ao3 

It’s Boxing Day and Anna has just arrived at her parents’ house for the annual Arundel Boxing Day buffet and already she wants to leave.

She can’t have been here for more than 3 minutes and already she’s been cornered by her mother’s friends asking if she has a boyfriend yet, cornered by her father’s business partners asking when she’s going to date one of them and cornered by her childhood friends telling her to hurry up and have a baby.

Yep; she just loved these buffets.

She looks around the room and softens when she catches her mother’s eye. Iduna smiles and makes her way over and Anna feels her stomach drop. There is an unusual glimmer in her eye and Anna knows her mother well enough to know its one of two things: her mother has local gossip or her mother is trying to set her up.

God, she’s hoping it’s the former.

“Hello darling, how are you?” Iduna kisses her daughter on both cheeks before taking her in a quick but tight hug. Anna feels herself relax ever so slightly (the butterflies are still fluttering within her stomach) and returns her mothers hug.

“I’m okay thanks mum, how are you? There are so many people here!”

“Oh you’re telling me. I’m certain there is more every year. Your father just keeps inviting more and more people and soon enough we won’t have the room. But anyway, that’s the least exciting part. Guess who is here?” Iduna can barely keep the smirk off of her face and Anna knows she was wrong: her mum is trying to set her up. She shrugs her shoulders, praying to God it isn’t going to be one of the Weselton boys from school. “It’s the Bjorgman’s! They bought their son, Kristoff, with them. He’s very handsome and charming. Let me introduce you.”

Anna doesn’t even have a chance to get a word in before Iduna is steering her towards a group of 3 people and wow. There is an extremely tall man with golden, blonde hair and when he turns around it’s like the world has slowed down. Anna has to pinch herself to remind herself to breathe and take in every detail before he inevitably turns away from her. He has mahogany eyes, a large nose which is complimented by his strong jaw line and there are freckles peppered across his cheeks.

“Anna, this is Kristoff Bjorgman and his parents: Cliff and Brenda Bjorgman.” Iduna is ever the host, smiling as her daughter shakes the hands of Bjorgman’s. “Cliff, Brenda: did I tell you about mine and Agnarr’s holiday to Norway earlier this year? No? Oh I must, come...” And just as quickly as she met them, they’ve gone. Leaving her with quite possibly the most attractive man she has ever laid eyes on.

“Hello, I’m Anna. Which you know already, because my mum just told you! So I don’t really know why I’m reintroducing myself but I’m gonna do it again, hi. I’m Anna.” She holds out her hand again for him to shake and feels her smile falter as he ignores it. “Okay, we’ve already shaken. So Kristoff, did you have a nice Christmas? Receive anything lovely?”

“It was fine, thank you. And not much, I got a reindeer jumper from my mum and some homemade jams from my dad.” He doesn’t ask her the same question and takes a sip from his drink. Anna can feel her cheeks burning but she is used to trying to fill the silence so she does what she does best: talk.

“Well I had a lovely Christmas. I spent it with my sister, Elsa, who unfortunately couldn’t make it today as she’s got a very important case on at the moment; she’s a lawyer. But we had a nice one, we played charades and she is just awful. Do you play? She got this one card and just could not act it out! It was hilarious! And then we just ate chocolate for the rest of day so I have to put myself on a chocolate ban for the rest of season otherwise I will go into a coma!” She laughs and pokes his arm, trying to garner a reaction but he remains impassive. “What do you do for a living Kristoff?”

She is looking at him sweetly and she can see how uncomfortable he looks and it takes him a moment or two to decide whether to answer or not but she doesn’t get his answer as she’s interrupted by her aunt Gerda, who is gripping her cheeks and cuddling her like she hasn’t seen her niece in 6 years, let alone 6 days. Once Gerda has had her full and is satisfied that Anna has been eating enough, she returns her attention back to Kristoff; who is no longer there. She looks around the room and can’t see him anywhere, so she awkwardly makes her way over the buffet table, determined to grab a mince pie (or two. No one said she couldn’t have mince pies) before they all vanish. And that’s when she see’s Kristoff again, who is in a heated discussion with his mum. And not watching the volume of his voice at all. “Mum, I have told you before I do not need you to set me up with anyone! Particularly not someone who loves the sound of her own voice, has a clear sugar addiction and got engaged to a man who she met that day!” Ouch. His voice is harsh and bitter and she can feel the tears building in the corner of her eyes. She goes to leave and stumbles into someone else causing them to drop their glass and she’s aware Kristoff is staring at her so she giggles and raises her glass. “Here’s to Christmas! Brings out the very best in people doesn’t it?” She turns away before she can make more of a fool of herself and blinks away the tears before they can burn at her eyes. She hates this bloody buffet.

_____ It’s been a week since the buffet and Anna is starting to feel like herself again. She’s stuck to her chocolate ban (however she has now replaced it with crisps and its beginning to become a problem), she’s up to date on all her work commitments and chores and she hasn’t thought of Kristoff-bloody-Bjorgman once. Okay, she thought of him a couple of times immediately after hearing him be mean about her but she hasn’t thought about him in 4 days and that’s better than nothing, right? Anyway it doesn’t matter, her new boss is starting today and Anna is determined to make a good impression. She’s hoping to make her short story section in the paper a bi-weekly thing and she has a good feeling she can convince the guy to give her a chance. She’s just sat down at her desk when the doors to the lift open and there’s a flurry of people and her new boss strides in and... oh no, it can’t be. There is absolutely no way in hell it can be him. Hans Westergaard. Her heart falls out of her chest and the office begins to spin and wow, when did it get hot in here? Anna is pretty certain her brain has melted to mush and she is determined to make an escape and is just calculating how much it would hurt if she was to fling herself out of the window when a shadow is cast over her desk and she just knows he’s stood in front of her. “Hello Anna. What an absolute pleasure it is to see you.” His voice is dripping with sincerity and charm and almost immediately Anna knows she is captured in his spell. “Oh, hello Hans. Wow, I didn’t see you there, how funny that we should run into each other in a place like this.” She is flustered and she hates that he still has this effect on her even after all these years but she knows she can’t give too much away otherwise she will never hear the end of it. “How have you been?” “Oh you know Anna; I’ve been all over the place. Flying from one continent to the next, determined to make my name matter somewhere. And yet all this travelling round has done nothing but made me realise my home is here, right here, with you.” He is looking at her now and Anna’s eyes go wide in shock and she has about 3 seconds to process his words when his lips are on hers and he’s kissing her like nothing ever happened. After what feels like an eternity (and not in good way) he releases her and she knows the entire office is staring at her and she wishes the ground would eat her up but he looks so handsome and charming and she almost forgets the reason why they didn’t work out the first time round. Almost. But maybe he’s changed and maybe this time things could be normal and the travelling does seem to have mellowed him... and besides, she wants to make a name here at this company, and so maybe Hans Westergaard is the way forward?

________

It’s been 3 weeks since Hans came back into her life and things have been... good. Yes, good is the word she would describe their relationship. And well she can’t really call it a relationship, its less exclusive than that. They spent time together in and outside of work, they would go for dinner and they would have lots of sex and she means a lot. But he rarely stays over and she’s only been to his apartment once or twice but she’s fine with it. He wants to take things slow and isn’t that the reason they didn’t work out last time; because she was desperate to rush things and put labels onto everything and she just isn’t going to do that this time round. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about it though. She doesn’t think about how nice it would be to go home and see him cooking dinner for her, she doesn’t think about how wonderful it would be to introduce him to people as ‘her boyfriend’ and she definitely doesn’t think about how great it would be to rub it in the faces of those who doubted her before. Of course there was always going to be people who had their doubts; Elsa being the main one. She was less than enthused once Anna had told her that Hans was back in her life and they were revisiting where things had left off. Elsa had had a few uncomplimentary words to say about him and Anna was pretty certain she had never heard her sister use the c-word before. Anyway it didn’t really matter what Elsa thought because Anna was happy and that was all that mattered. Well, happy was probably quite a strong word to use but she was... glad. Yes, glad would suffice. She would have been happier if she wasn’t currently stood in a crowded dinner hall on her own, waiting for Elsa to return and waiting for Hans to actually show his face. She could feel herself growing more and more bored as each second ticked by. She wasn’t even sure why she was here... oh wait, it was for Elsa. Who had abandoned her. For a girl. Which was fine, obviously, Elsa never liked people; let alone a girl so she wasn’t going to complain or interrupt. But Anna was bored and lonely and all she wanted to do was go home and have a hot chocolate and sleep but instead, she was in a too tight green dress (which was being severely underappreciated by everyone), her hair piled upon her head busy dreaming about what movie she was going to watch later. And then she saw him. Kristoff Bjorgman. It had been a couple of months since the Arundel buffet and she hadn’t spared him a second thought. Okay, that was a slight lie. She had thought about him at least twice. Or maybe 3 times but no more than that. What on earth was he doing here? Why would he be at a private function like this? As if he could sense her presence, Kristoff looked up and made eye contact with her. She flashed him a quick smile, which was met with a look of disdain and he turned away from her. Cool. Yeah that was cool. Wasn’t rude at all and she was fine with him not wanting to look at her because she didn’t want to look at him either. So it worked out tremendously. Until Elsa came back and insisted that Anna meet some people who just so happened to be in Kristoff’s group and that’s how she found herself, stood shoulder to shoulder with the man who could not bare to look at her for longer than a minute. “Kristoff, this is Honeymaren Naturra and I believe you know my sister, Anna Arundel. Honeymaren is a trainee zoologist and Anna is a journalist... well a storyteller really. You may have seen her short stories featured in the local newspaper?” Elsa is brilliant at introducing people, even when they don’t want to be introduced. She had a way of grasping everyone’s attention and so Anna could feel everyone’s eyes on her, including Kristoff’s. She refused to make eye contact with him though for fear she would say something incredibly embarrassing. “Oh, was it that delightful story about the girl who managed to crash into a horse and then fall into the pond? That was delightful!” A young woman is trying not to giggle and thrusts her hand at Anna. “Sofia Delcourt. Please to make your acquaintance. Where do you get your inspiration from?” Anna smiles weakly and starts to kick the floor with her shoes. She hates this question because she has to admit that most of her stories are in fact, inspired by her own pathetic and clumsy life, and more often than not she is then met with stares of pity and its all kinds of horrendous. Thankfully someone talks before she has a chance to answer and she grabs a drink from a passing waiter and gulps it in one and decides a second drink won’t go amiss. It hasn’t gone unnoticed by her that Kristoff hasn’t taken his eyes off of her since she joined the group and her stomach is doing flips and she isn’t entirely sure why. She wants to leave and goes to ask Elsa if she can when she realises that Elsa and Honeymaren have gone and abandoned her once again. Elsa better marry this girl otherwise Anna will kill her. “So Anna, where do you get your inspiration from?” Kristoff is still staring at her and she knows she can’t avoid this question forever, so without addressing him directly she answers. “Well this may surprise you, but actually my own life is often my inspiration. I’m quite a unique individual and many of my life decisions are quite hilarious so it would be a shame to not share them with the entirety of London.” She glances at him and is ever-so- slightly pleased to see a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Well thank goodness for your incapability to function like a normal grown woman.” Kristoff is trying to hide his smile behind his glass and Anna can’t tell if he’s joking with her or whether he is suffering from second hand embarrassment. Anna feels like she is quite a good judge of character but she cannot read him in the slightest.

“Unfortunately not all of us are lucky enough to be blessed with your incredible social skills, Mr Bjorgman.” Anna quirks a smile his way and takes a sip from her own glass. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bless my charm and wit on many others in this room. Nice to see you again.” She walks away before he has a chance to say another word and although she knows she has absolutely no one to talk to at this party, she couldn’t stand there and make pleasantries with a man who confuses her in ways she didn’t realise she could be confused. She’s stood by the bar, watching Elsa make conversation with a variety of people and whilst she’s keeping herself busy by drinking the bar dry, her eyes can’t help but wander over to where Kristoff is stood with Sofia and other people whose names she couldn’t be bothered to remember. He is looking rather lovely tonight, in a dark blue suit, with his blonde hair gelled back. It’s a look she couldn’t have ever imagined him sporting but it oddly suits him and those stomach flips have returned and she isn’t quite sure what they mean. He glances around the room a couple of times, and Anna senses he’s a little uncomfortable in this environment, which surprises her seeing as he’s an architect and so she assumed he would be used to such parties as this. He catches her eye every now and then and each time he does, he quickly looks away and focuses on a new subject. It’s quite cute to watch and she enjoys seeing him blush, it highlights all of his features perfectly. On the last time he catches her eye, she’s certain he’s going to come over and talk to her but before she can prep herself, she feels a hand on her waist and she’s ready to smack someone but to her relief its only Hans. “Hans! Oh thank goodness, where have you been?” She throws herself into his arms and he gives her a small pat on the back. “Sorry doll, I was caught up with work. Papers changed their mind about what they want to publish next week so it’s been a massive shit show.” Anna isn’t convinced by his story and she wants to question him but then his right hand is curling around her backside and his left is coming to caress her cheek and her breath hitches and he’s in her ear, mumbling all the things he wants to do to her and asking if she wants to leave and she almost knocks a waiter over in her rush to get out of there. She forgets all about Kristoff and his sideways glances.

_________

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Hans turns out to be a cheating arsehole again but the wounds feel just as raw and new as they did the first time around.

And she knows she was an idiot to give him a second chance and she just knows Elsa is going to lecture her about it again but right now, she really doesn't need any of that.

Right now she just needs her mum.

And so when Iduna opens the door to their family home, Anna can't help but collapse in her arms and cling onto her mother like she's a newborn. She smells like lemon and home and Anna regrets the fact she hasn't been back since Boxing Day and makes a mental note to be a better daughter and she's only been home 10 minutes and already she feels so much better.

"Come in my darling and you can tell me everything." Iduna's voice is soft and comforting and Anna knows she is going to spend the majority of the weekend in tears.

Once she’s settled into her jammies, her dad has given her a kiss on the forehead and a hot chocolate she launches into the story. She tells her mum how she had had a couple of doubts about Hans ever since the last time and how she was nervous it was happening again and when she had confronted him about it, he told her off for being a paranoid and nervous wreck. How she needed to grow up and start trusting him again if this was ever going to work. And of course she wanted it to work so she pushed everything down to the bottom of her heart and ignored all the warning signs and carried on like normal. And normal seemed to be working until she decided to surprise him one night and take him out for dinner and how when she arrived at his flat, a young woman had opened the door (“she was practically naked mum, it was awful!”) and Anna knew then that Hans was never going to change, despite what she had convinced herself into believing. She tells her mum how she had stormed up the stairs and caught Hans in bed with another woman and she realised that Hans was only ever going to be happy when he was chasing something he couldn’t have. She had yelled a couple of insults at him, but when that didn’t work and she didn’t automatically feel better she punched him square in the nose and told him to never contact her again. And she admits to her mum that although she can’t stop crying and is nervous about returning to work (she’s hoping Hans will do the decent thing and quit but she can’t imagine that happening so she’s tempted to quit herself; Iduna quickly scolds her for saying such a ridiculous thing), that she doesn’t actually feel sad about it ending with Hans. If anything she feels... relieved. “Well it’s obvious why my darling. Because you didn’t love him and he wasn’t your true love.” “I don’t think I believe in true love.” Anna scoffs and rolls her eyes, sipping her now cold chocolate. “You’re only saying that because you’ve had your heartbroken sweetheart. But believe me, true love finds everyone eventually. And when you find yours the world will start making sense.” Iduna smiles knowingly at her daughter and Anna begins to wonder whether her mum can see into the future and knows something she doesn’t. “Do I necessarily need it Mum? ‘Cos I honestly think I might be fine. Every man I’ve met or re-met over the last couple of months has turned out to be toe rags.” “You don’t need it now my darling, focus on yourself for a little while and when you’re ready; your true love will show themselves. And who knows, you may already be aware of them?” There’s another smirk on her face and Anna is pretty certain she knows who her mother may be eluding too. “Mother, if you’re hinting towards a certain young gentleman who happens to be related to your best friend, I suggest you remove that idea from your brain. That will and is never going to happen, so please stop getting your hopes up. He doesn’t even like me.” “If you say so, my lovely, if you say so.”

________

It’s Elsa’s birthday and she’s been invited over for dinner and Anna, for once, is excited to celebrate and be sociable. Normally at events like this, she becomes a bit introverted and is usually clinging to Elsa’s side but for the first time in forever, she is feeling good and the best she has in weeks.

It doesn’t even faze her that Hans turned out to be a complete and utter bastard again and whilst she spent the first week crying over him, she hasn’t shed a tear since and she refuses to cry over him again. Or any other man for that matter. So she’s at Elsa’s apartment and she feels positive and wonderful and she’s baked a chocolate cake (hers and Elsa’s favourite) and she’s ready to interact and be human again. So imagine her surprise when she sees not one, not two but 5 different couples sat around a dinner table and they’re all looking at her expectantly and her mouth has dried and she just wants to crawl into a hole and die and she is certain she knows no one here but Elsa and Honeymaren and oh god, why has Elsa invited me here? “Everyone this is my younger sister, Anna. Anna, you obviously know Honeymaren. But this is her younger brother Ryder and his boyfriend, Hunter. Then we have Sven and Rachel, Leonie and Cleo, Mattias and Halima and I believe you’re already acquainted with Kristoff and Sofia.” Elsa finishes with a smile and it’s just so bloody perfect that he would be here and Anna is honestly praying that she receives a phone call telling her that her pet goldfish has died so she has a valid excuse to leave. She can barely bring herself to look at anyone, let alone Kristoff, so she busies herself with the cake in her hand and then excuses herself from the room. Elsa quickly follows suit to serve dinner and Anna rounds on her immediately. “Elsa, why on earth have you invited me to a couples dinner party?!” Anna hisses, barely keeping the anger from escaping. She’s aware the walls are thin so she doesn’t want to be too loud to make things anymore awkward. “Oh Anna.” Elsa laughs wholeheartedly and rolls her eyes. “I haven’t invited you to a couple’s dinner party! It’s my birthday dinner and all of my friends just happen to be...” she trails off and a horrified look slowly creeps onto her face. “Oh no... I’ve invited you to a couple’s dinner! Oh my God Anna! I am so sorry, I didn’t realise! I just wanted to have some of my favourite people here and oh God, have I become the type of person where my only friends are couples? Oh gross.” She groans inwardly and Anna knows it isn’t really Elsa’s fault but she feels so awkward and embarrassed and she wants Elsa to give her an out but she knows she never will (and even if she did, she won’t leave. It is her sister’s birthday after all.) “Look, the dinner won’t take long and then I’ll make it into a more relaxed atmosphere so you won’t feel too weird. Is that okay? I just don’t want you to leave and I really think you’ll get on with everyone.” Anna sighs and agrees, earning a delighted squeal from her sister and she hopes there is enough wine to get her through this evening.

_________ It turns out there isn’t enough wine and so she has to endure all the chit chat about dating and marriage proposals and engagement parties and babies and she is contemplating the quickest way to kill herself with a dessert spoon when Lucy? Lora? Leonie! Asks her about her love life.   “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight Anna. Are you dating anyone? Any wedding bells on the horizon for you?” And Anna knows its a genuine question and she knows this woman will have no idea about the last few months but she can feel the lump clogging up her throat and she has no wine left and so she’s just staring at the group and her head is spinning and why isn’t Elsa helping her? “You’re dating the elusive Hans Westergaard, aren’t you?” Kristoff’s voice breaks the silence and she stares at him. It’s the first proper thing he’s said all evening and whilst she’s grateful for the save she knows now she’s going to have to explain that situation and she attempts too but she just can’t seem to break away from Kristoff’s stare. “Actually Anna and Hans have gone their separate ways; which is why Anna is being unusually quiet. It’s been a tough couple of weeks for her.” Elsa finally comes to her rescue and Anna gives her a small smile as a thank you and returns her gaze to Kristoff, whose eyes seem to have softened and there is a new emotion there, one that Anna can’t put her finger on. Once dinner is cleared and they move into the living room, Anna asks Elsa if she can leave, feigning a headache. She knows it’s mean and rude but she can’t bear to stay another second with all these couples and she can’t get Kristoff’s face out of her mind and she just needs to lie down and clear her mind. Elsa relents and lets her go and Anna can’t escape quickly enough. She’s just putting her coat on and adjusting her hood when she’s acutely aware someone is standing behind her.

“I enjoyed your most recent short story by the way. Very entertaining.” Kristoff’s voice comes from behind her and it’s all she can do not to roll her eyes. But he can’t see her face and so where is the enjoyment in that? “Thank you. I’m here to entertain... clearly.” She turns to face him and is surprised to see him at the bottom of the stairs. He takes a couple of steps closer to her so they’re standing mere inches apart and she’s trying her very best not to stare at him but he looks particularly handsome tonight and the lighting is just right, so the gold in his hair is blinding and the copper in his irises are just stunning.

She really needs to get a grip. “So, things didn’t work out with Hans Westergaard then?” There’s a slight smugness in his tone and all her original feelings towards him come crashing back and she remembers why she doesn’t like Kristoff Bjorgman: he’s an arse.

“No, they did not. I really don’t need to hear the words ‘I told you so’ either Kristoff, so if we could just move on from that.” She can feel her eyes begin to well up and she will not cry in front of Kristoff, she will not. “Anyway, I must be going. If I stay here another second I may murder Hunter in cold blood and you will have to provide me with an alibi. Goodnight.”

She turns away from him and heads towards the door when she feels his fingers brush against her hand. She stops and looks down, just to see him drawing his hand back. He looks awkward and is rubbing the back of his neck, a small blush creeping across his cheeks.

“Look, I’m sorry. That was unnecessarily rude of me. I’m just not the biggest fan of Hans and so to hear your relationship had ended, well it delighted me. And I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about the way I spoke about you at the annual Arundel buffet. It was obnoxious and rude of me. I made a snap judgement on 2 minutes worth of conversation.” He looks at her then and there is such intensity behind his eyes that Anna feels lost. She certainly wasn’t expecting him to apologise and so she’s stuck on what to say back.

“Well, thank you. I appreciate the delayed apology.” She manages to stutter and she needs to leave, but she is also desperate to know the reason behind his intense look. She is the first to break however and goes to leave once more, when a question strikes her. “Why were you so horrible to me?”

He swallows loudly and looks away, the blush returns to his cheeks and it feels like years before he speaks again. “I don’t know why really. I don’t like it when my mum tries to push me into dating women who I don’t know and so I took offense when I really shouldn’t have. As it turns out, my mum knows who I should date because I do like you, Anna.”

She laughs and shakes her head, refusing to acknowledge the words he’s just said. “Oh yeah, you like me? The ordinary girl who writes funny short stories and doesn’t know when to stop talking! Yeah, okay Kristoff.”

“No, I mean I like you, a lot. The truth is Anna, despite the fact that you do ramble on ever so slightly, you’re way too obsessed with chocolate and you insist on characterising every inanimate object you come in contact with, I happen to think you’re the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met.”

There’s a beat of silence as Kristoff’s words wash over her. Anna stares at him blankly, her mouth popping open and she is desperate to stop but her brain won’t let her. He manages a weak smile at her and goes to speak again when Sofia appears at the top of the stairs and ruins the moment.

“Kristoff? Are you coming back? Ryder is telling the most hilarious story.”

He’s still staring at Anna and her heart is in her mouth and so many words are on the tip of her tongue but that’s where they’ll have to stay as Kristoff is breaking eye contact and addressing Sofia.

“Yeah, course. I was just saying goodbye to Anna. I’m on my way.” It’s enough and she’s gone and he’s smiling his cute, lopsided smile (albeit sadder than usual) at her and muttering his goodbyes.

I happen to think you’re the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met.

[jennycalendar]

blindsided

read it on ao3!

“I think you chose those frames to make yourself look austere and professorial. I like you better with them off.”

(Early S4. Anya shows up looking for Xander, and finds Giles instead.)

i mostly just really wanted to write soft, tentative giles/anya, because That Really Is How Season 4 Should Have Gone. That Should Have Happened. they’ve literally both just lost their calling and are looking for any and every distraction!!!!! they’re both lonely and sad and big-hearted!!!!! i love them!!!!!!

also this fic took me 27 years to title and i just want that stated.

“I was informed that Xander would be here,” said Anya without preamble, pushing past an indignantly bewildered Giles to peer further into the apartment—as though Giles might have hidden Xander in the kitchen, or tucked him into a cabinet. “Why isn’t he here?”

“Because this is my house,” said Giles, irritation finally spurring him to shut the door and follow Anya into the kitchen. As she opened his refrigerator, he added, “And I do not appreciate uninvited guests inserting themselves into my life for no reason—”

“Then you should really lock your door,” said Anya, removing the container of leftover pasta that Giles had made himself the night before and shutting the door. “Do you have anything to drink?”

“Stop—stop that,” said Giles, exasperated, and attempted to take the pasta back. Anya dodged him, weaving nimbly through the kitchen to grab a fork from the silverware drawer. “You can’t just come into my house under the guise of looking for Xander—”

“Oh, no, I am looking for Xander,” said Anya matter-of-factly, swinging herself up to sit on the counter. “I just don’t feel like going home on an empty stomach if all my searching has been for naught. Did he head home?”

“Why on earth are you looking for Xander?” This time, Giles tried to grab the fork; Anya batted his hand away. “Really, Anya—”

“It’s none of your business,” Anya scolded him. Him. The person whose house she was forcibly occupying. “You should treat your guests more politely, you know.”

“Guests,” said Giles, “are people who I choose to invite into my home, or people who are always welcome. You are neither. I can accept that getting you to leave is a futile effort, but I will not have you eating the pasta I was going to have for dinner.”

“You can make yourself your own pasta all over again, Giles,” Anya informed him through a mouthful of pasta. “Incidentally, this is delicious!”

Resigned, and resenting it, Giles leaned against the counter, staring at the refrigerator and feeling the exhausted sense that his life was entirely out of his hands. Anya’s arrival only seemed to cement the feeling that had begun ever since the Council’s firing: that his only authority over the children, and the only respect he garnered from others, had come from his status as Watcher to the Slayer. He had been comforted by his job as librarian, but now even that was gone—

“Hey,” said Anya suddenly. Her voice had softened. “You look sad. You wanna talk about it?”

Giles pressed his lips together. Then he said, “I really did want that pasta. That’s all.”

“Oh,” said Anya. She looked down at the pasta, bit her lip, and handed it back to Giles. “I didn’t realize it was such a problem,” she said. “All the kids come to your place and you don’t seem to mind. I’ll, uh, I should just—” She jumped down from the counter, brushing against Giles as she turned to hurry out of the kitchen.

“Anya?” said Giles.

Anya turned.

And it was the oddest thing, but all of a sudden, Giles remembered that this was not a college student in his kitchen. Anya was studying him with ageless, tired eyes, and she looked exactly as unmoored as he felt. “I have some scotch,” he said. “If you’d like some.”

“God yes,” said Anya, “no one in this town has been willing to serve me the alcohol I’m entitled to.” She grinned, a bright, sweet smile the likes of which Giles hadn’t received from an adult since— “Is this ‘cause I gave you back your pasta?”

“I find it helpful to encourage good behavior,” said Giles, who didn’t really want to say I think we’re both lonely, and I think I should do something about that.

Anya could hold her scotch. Giles was beginning to feel rather comfortingly drunk, but Anya’s smile was still sharp, her eyes alert, her knees brushing against Giles’s as they sat facing each other on the couch. “Tell me something interesting,” she said.

Giles laughed a bit wryly. “You don’t want to hear me blather on,” he said. “Very few people do.”

“Well, I’m bored,” said Anya, crossing her arms, “and I want to know something about the guy supplying me with high-quality liquor. Make my night a little more interesting, Giles.”

“Rupert,” said Giles.

Anya raised an eyebrow.

“Only the children call me Giles,” Giles elaborated. “And you aren’t a child, are you?”

Soft and slow, Anya smiled, leaning forward ever so slightly. “No, I’m not,” she said. “I think most of your charges seem to forget that.”

“You act like you don’t know what you’re doing,” said Giles. “I don’t think that helps the matter.”

Anya’s smile faded. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said.

Now it was Giles’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You seem startlingly competent,” he said. “Given the circumstances.”

“Well, thanks for that sparkling endorsement,” said Anya dryly, taking a sip from her glass. She hesitated, eyes on the scotch, then said, “Being human is scary and confusing, and I’m not at all looking forward to dying. I don’t like that everyone looks at me like I’m some infant, and I don’t like that there are all these new rules for being human that I never needed to learn. And now I do. And I’m going to have to live out that boring mortal life that I never wanted, instead of watching the world burn like I always wanted, and—” She exhaled, a frustrated, heartbroken noise. “I didn’t choose any of this,” she said.

Giles leaned against the couch, studying her face. “Why were you looking for Xander?” he said, though he thought he might already know the answer.

Anya was still staring at her scotch. “The answer’s pretty pathetic,” she said.

“Good to know you’re a maudlin drunk,” said Giles, and laughed, more from the alcohol than from any actual amusement.

It took Anya a long moment to look up. Her face softened a little as she looked at him, in a way that spoke of…possibility. Almost. “Xander took me to the prom,” she said. “That’s a human thing that humans talk about. He took me to the prom, and he wore a rented tux, and he slow-danced with me to some song I kind of liked. And…” She trailed off. “I remembered,” she said. “I was in his arms, and I remembered what it was like to be human. All the confusion, and the warmth, and the love…”

“Xander’s a bit young for you, isn’t he?” said Giles lightly.

Anya gave him a withering look. “Everyone’s a bit young for me,” she said. “If I’ve only got a few decades before I shuffle off this mortal coil, I’m going to have to find someone fast. I am not dying alone.”

Her words made something catch and break in Giles’s heart. “Well,” he said. “You’re still younger than me, at least biologically, and I’ve yet to find that someone yet. I don’t think you should settle for the very first—”

“Rupert, I’ve seen empires fall and civilizations rise,” said Anya flatly. “However long I have left is a heartbeat compared to how long I’ve lived. I don’t have the time that you do. I will never have the time that you do. So—” She stopped, looking at Giles with a strange expression. “What?”

Giles had only registered one word. “You called me Rupert,” he said.

Anya hesitated. “Rupert,” she said again, and swallowed. “Can I—”

“Yes,” said Giles.

“You don’t even—”

“Yes,” said Giles.

Anya reached up and took off his glasses, setting them on the coffee table, looking tentatively back up at him. Vision slightly blurred, Giles saw her as more soft than angular, blonde hair soaking up the lamplight and radiating it outwards like a gentle golden sun. “I came here looking to kiss Xander,” she said, a self-deprecating laugh in her voice. “Isn’t that funny?”

“Please never say his name again in that context and I’ll laugh all you like,” said Giles a little breathlessly.

In return Anya smiled, soft and almost shy, and—she looked her age. Old, and wise, and so bizarrely gentle, even after all she’d seen. “I do like you,” she said. “I think you chose those frames to make yourself look austere and professorial. I like you better with them off.”

Giles’s heart was beating very fast. “Anya,” he said. His voice shook. “I hope you know—”

“No, I get it,” said Anya. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his in a way that was more companionable than romantic. “I do get it, Rupert. You need gentle handling.”

“I think the same could be said for you,” Giles murmured. He ached to kiss her, and couldn’t at all blame it on the alcohol. She had seen so much, lost so much—

Anya took his face in her hands. “I’m not very good at being human,” she said. “I don’t know what I want, and it might not be you. Are those deal-breakers?”

“Actually, we may be on the exact same page,” said Giles, reaching up to trace her cheek with a fingertip. “I don’t know—I feel I’ve lost my center. My purpose. I don’t know how I can go on like this much longer if I’m on my own.”

Anya let out a soft, shaking breath. “You know, I’m really glad Xander wasn’t here?” she whispered. “I think I would have done something I couldn’t take back.”

“And this can be taken back?” said Giles carefully.

“No, this—” Anya hesitated, then kissed him—really just a brush of a kiss, but the brief touch made warmth flare in Giles’s chest. It had been so long—too long—since he had shared a kiss with someone who had understood.“I wanted to know what it felt like to be human,” she said unsteadily. “I wanted Xander to make me feel like a human girl, with a human boyfriend and petty human concerns. I was so lost in that want that I don’t think I thought about whether I wanted Xander.”

“Please stop saying Xander,” said Giles, and kissed her again, grinning a little as she giggled against his mouth.

She pulled back to look at him. “Rupert,” said Anya, earnest and a little nervous, “what I’m saying is—I think I like you.”

Giles raised his eyebrows, doing his best to look surprised.

“Stop—stop,” Anya laughed, and kissed him again, moving forward on the couch to straddle Giles’s lap. The warm weight of her in his arms, her hair brushing his face, made Giles feel—he hadn’t felt like this in years. Cozy. Happy. “I like you,” Anya whispered again, sounding almost surprised by the notion, as though she hadn’t expected to like any part of this new life—and Giles, no longer a Watcher, could understand that quite intimately.

“I—” Giles felt the words catch in his throat. He thought of Jenny dead on his bed.

Anya stilled, pulling back to look at him. “Yeah?”

He could stop this, he knew. Now, before he loved and lost again. But Anya was right—they only had a certain amount of time to live, and any moment of happiness was one worth seizing. He could learn quite a lot from her. “Like you,” he finished, grinning a bit at Anya’s pleased, preening smile. “I like you, Anya.”

“You have excellent taste,” said Anya, kissing him again. “I think I’m going to keep you around.”

“All the vengeance demons were telling me that it was the Watchers you had to keep an eye out for,” said Anya blissfully, a few hours later, sprawled gracelessly across Giles’s bed and taking up a startling amount of space for someone so small. “They said the Watchers were terrible at their jobs but incredible in bed, if you picked the right one.” She grinned, rolling over onto her side to face him. “You know, Rupert, I think I really did.”

And for the first time since the destruction of Sunnydale High, Giles really, properly started laughing.

[serenagaywaterford]

As always I completely agree with everything you have said so far, you're a gift truly. A few more thoughts if that's cool: Wild idea, how about instead of having Serena go back to Gilead at its bullshitiest, she just doesn't do anything, if they don't want her to move to the good side just yet. Wild, I know. And why won't they just let the show change into handmaids' tale. So many opportunities. It doesn't have to be all about June. There's very little that can be made all about June

(Part 2 oops) made all about June at this point. But man I was cracking up. Man I am cracking up. That post where you were joking 'how's Serena is Serena okay' etc. actually became a reality in this ep. You're obsessed Junie. Honestly if I didn't know the context I would've thought June was Serena's crazy stalker :P How does fred has so much power again? I thought he was demoted? Surely he wouldn't be allowed to make this big of a deal about a single child. Oh wait I just accused tht

           (Part 3 omg) of making sense. "Are you pumped dear?" This show   should consider itself a comedy based on Lydia alone. Also Rita missed June awww! How nice was it to see Rita smile??? I kept thinking Fred has more chemistry with Winslow than with any other woman on the show and then That happened. Just go for it Fred, and then Serena and June can go for it too mhm. It's pretty ridiculous that we're halfway through the season and NOTHING has happened. I would've thought we'd be done with Nichole            

            (Part 4 I need to stop Jesus) stuff at this point but nope it's only properly starting now. If only Serena weren't just so stupid. So, so, so stupid. It would be absolutely wonderful if she were playing a long game but let's be real, she most likely isn't. She's just dumb. WHEN IS ALMA COMING BACK (sorry for the spam :DD)             

----------------

firstly, the tags on your replies made me die lol. RELATABLE to real life and everything else constantly. (”oops > omg > i need stop jesus” -- welcome to my life.) you are the true gift!!! :DDD x

i love that wild idea! like, i don’t see the need really to have her go deep bullshit either. like just DO NOTHING. it’s just as bad lbr. but the show seems to think june needs an enemy to directly fight one-on-one. for some reason. i guess they don’t trust that their audience can handle a more abstract evil... or it’s too boring to actually have the men liek fred (who are unquestionably evil) be direct antagonists to june? that gotta make it some catfight. but since it’s the soapmaid’s tale, let’s all sit back and watch serena go Full Bullshit Evil and try kill june for no reason. (that last bit is just a guess lmao)

“ why won't they just let the show change into handmaids' tale. So many opportunities. It doesn't have to be all about June.”

this is a very good question and one that i hear people respond with by saying, “but the book is all june’s pov!!!!” as if that fucking makes a difference. the book also ended where s1 ended. so moot point. this is no longer atwood’s book. they have so many stories they could tell, even with existing characters. i just cannot abide what they’ve done to moira. she’s basically nonexistent. and they’ve dropped emily’s story like a sack of hot potatoes instead of just you know, pulling it along every episode with a little more development. i was afraid emily would suffer The Moira Treatment, and it seems to be coming true. Moira is literally just Luke’s Sassy Sidekick / Gay BFF. how progressive! Moira is a man’s accessory!! and okay, they’re not handmaids anymore, but what about Janine and Alma? Even Ofmatthew. We finally got a little insight into her last week and she’s gone again! Have we even seen any of June’s other Handmaid pals? At all?

“ You're obsessed Junie.”

LMAO! IKR! I was like “Oh, here she goes AGAIN with Mrs. Waterford this, Mrs Waterford that!” Like you can’t even pretend. I get that she’s convinced herself that Serena is her One True Hope (moron) but pestering Lawrence or Fred or whomever (i can’t recall) about Serena is not at all subtle.

I don’t..... I don’t even get where Fred suddenly gets his power from again. He was demoted. And yet he can just set up film sets and do propo videos, and spend all these resources etc etc.... for what? Like it doesn’t even make SENSE. June’s voiceover was all about how they don’t admit these things even happen but here they are shouting to the world “Hey! Our military and police suck! There’s a resistance pocket! People can escape even with babies!!!” gimme a break. and i sorta get why Fred got promoted by the end of 3x06 -- cos Commander Winslow wants a piece of that brown-nosing Waterford tush. ha. serves Fred right to be sexually harassed at work. (WHAT I DON`T UNDERSTAND is why Fred isn`t already a high commander?! Like he was one of the Original 4 SOJ that invented Gilead. Why weren’t Pryce, Lawrence, Waterford, or Putnam NOT High Commanders already???? It was their baby; you think they’d immediate get top dog spot.) But like you said, that’s asking this show to make sense. And it doesn’t care about silly stuff that. it’s clear they just invented this High Commander stuff without really thinking about continuity too carefully.)

“would've thought we'd be done with Nichole”

honestly, that’s what I expected too. I thought for sure it would only take up maybe the first third of the season. then that would get settled and we’d be focusing on this alleged amazing resistance and June: The Ultimate Rebel that we’ve heard so much about lmao... but where is it? it looks pretty sketchy from the two seconds we’ve been given lol. I really didn’t think they’d DRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGG serena’s regret out THIS long. and like you said, it’s only really got started! yikes. i don’t mind a slow burn at all, but i’m also not an incredibly patient person when it comes to being bombarded with depressing, miserable characters for 6 weeks. (okay 4 technically).who have not really done much of anything at all except mope, stare into the camera, and give ~inspirational voiceovers. man 3x01 was so promising......

Really, i’d bet my dog on the fact Serena is NOT playing the long game. two weeks ago, i wouldn’t have been so sure. but nah. she’s not secretly on june’s side or interested in being part of the resistance or saving anybody but herself. she’s just a dumbass who can’t see past her own pain cos she has no support system at all. i suspect, and i’m just guessing here, that phone from tuello will come in handy at some point--but not for anything except her saving her own skin. she’s gonna fuck up really badly and then need to be bailed out before gilead/june gets her and kills her lol. i personally think....unfortunately, we’ve seen the last of june and serena having any sort of trust or even mildly positive relationship. it’s gonna be pure conflict from now on. and that fucking sucks. so, i shall live in fanfic world where things aren’t so fucking bleak and depressing.

WHEN IS ALMA COMING BACK???? WHEN!!!

[sunlitroom]

Gotham – s5e02 – Trespassers

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Did you miss the finale of season 4 and only now tune in?  For anyone who somehow forgot, Jeremiah’s bid to get Bruce to notice him helpfully coincided with Ra’s need to speed Bruce’s destiny along by destroying the city.  Jim helpfully tells us that the city is now up for grabs.  Tabitha made an absolute mess of attempting to get revenge for Butch – going out not only irritating and unsympathetic, but really, really dumb. Barbara wailed. Jim shot Oswald in the leg, for which he has put a bounty on his head. We are reminded that Jeremiah shot Selina – and a nurse with very distinctive eyebrows recommended that Bruce go find the witch.  A lisping big-eyed orphan child pleaded with Jim for help.

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

We open on the boy, Will, from the last episode.  Jim and Harvey watch from the doorway as he is examined, and fill us in on his situation. His parents were killed in a home invasion and he was taken to a factory, to be a slave alongside lots of other children.  The people responsible are known as the Soothsayers.  

Harvey’s never heard of them before – but can hazard a guess as to the location of the tunnel they’re building near the docks.

Winsome orphan boy begs Detective Gordon to save his friends, because they’ll be punished for his escape.  

Jim and Harvey leave – Jim resolved to go rescue the children.  Harvey reminds him, though, that Oswald has a bounty on his head and he can’t safely leave the station.  Someone appears and tells Jim that there’s a call for him from the mainland

Jim goes to take the call. The voice on the other end tells him that confrontations must be avoided.  Jim tells him to please think of the children.  The voice says that his dedication is admirable but he lacks perspective – he runs the risk of sacrificing many to save a few.  He’s told that it’s the ‘collective opinion’ that he stand down and keep the green zone safe.

Jim protests – and says they need supplies.  The voice says they cannot risk any more pilots.  Jim snaps that they can preserve the lives of a few over many, but he can’t. The conversation is seemingly over and Jim stares consideringly into the distance.

Harvey enters with Lucius. Jim immediately starts to plan a rescue mission. They need to go through the Dark Zone.  Harvey reminds Jim of the ammo situation. Jim says he’ll talk to Barbara. Harvey reminds Jim that she might not be amenable.  Turning to Lucius, Jim asks him to sort out some sort of housing for the children they’ll rescue.  Harvey makes an unhappy face about the general risk of it all.

(An aside – in a desperate bid to extract something of interest from an episode that was pretty turgid.

I know we’re probably not supposed to complicate matters to this extent– but anything this straightforward is boring, so I feel like some over-analytical meta is needed to problematise everything.  

It occurs to me that this desperate time of suffering is maybe the happiest Jim has ever been in Gotham.

St Jim of Gotham.  They love their Jim Gordon.  Detective Gordon can save us.  

He constantly gets to be heroic – Jim Gordon keeping everyone safe, bringing them supplies. His word is law – Harvey and Lucius might pull faces, but they do what they’re told.  He has no boss, no troublesome politics to play.  There’s no awkward shades of grey – just good guys and bad guys.  The voice of authority is just that – a voice – and so perfectly unreasonable and hateable and removed – so absolutely in the wrong.  Hell – Jim should send Jeremiah a bouquet for this.

It’s telling, I think, that when Harvey later spots the candle burning in the abandoned building Jim’s head goes straight to the Wild West.  If you want to sell me that Oswald is enjoying playing benevolent leader over in City Hall, then it must also be accepted that Jim’s equally loving playing Gary Cooper at GCPD)  

We hear night time noises and see Bruce at the gates of an abandoned mansion.  He’s looking for the witch.  As he enters the house, we see ivy climbing over the walls.  As he progresses, we see it weapped around statues, and – more alarmingly – twisted around various corpses.

We see movement behind him. Someone has sneaked up on him – but Bruce had spotted them, and easily disarms him.

Are you with her?

What?  I’m not sure why Gotham went with characters from a Hammer Horror  - but, whatever.  It’s all corduroy waistcoats, flat caps, and English accents.

Basically – they’ve decided Ivy is a witch who can talk to plants and knows magic and can take souls.  They’ve trapped her in a windowless room with no food or water, and salted the floor. Eventually, they’re going to burn her. A few months of isolation and apparently parts of Gotham have turned into small superstitious English hamlets from the eighteenth century.  There’s terrible doings up at the manor!  His Lordship’s up to no good!

Bruce quickly makes up a story about a missing brother.  Credulous villager from another film says he’ll let Bruce talk to Ivy.  Bruce shines a torch into the room – and we see a sleeping Ivy. She’s wearing a sequinned jumper that also impressively manages to look like slimy moss.

Hello Ivy

At Sirens, where people are eating and drinking and generally having a good time.  Barbara, meantime, swigs from a bottle at the bar.

Jim enters.  We see there are lots of other men there.  Jim tries to make small talk about how busy the bar is.  Barbara points at his head and reminds him of Oswald’s bounty.  She asks if he’s out for one last hurrah.  Jim says he wants a favour.

Barbara laughs

A favour?  That’s why you stood back and did nothing while my best friend on this earth was stabbed through the heart?

(Best friend.  Best friend.  Wow.)

Jim protests weakly that he put Oswald down – but Barbara shrieks, eyes bulging with rage.

You restored his limp - he should be dead!

Jim takes what I think the Marquise de Mertueil described as ‘a marital tone’, and delivers an admonishing

Barbara

On this – Barbara starts shrieking

Everybody out!

Jim asks if she’s planning revenge.  Barbara retorts that

Someone has to do something about that freak

(An aside - Again with the ‘freak’ word.  It really does nothing to make her more likeable.  Also – the only things she could pair with it in the warehouse were the fact that Oswald has a beaky nose and a limp.  That’s all it takes for Barbara to decide you’re a freak. Writers - if you want to cultivate any sympathy whatsoever for Barbara and her lost ‘best friend’ – it’s perhaps best not to remind the audience that they’re both beautiful entitled rich girls who looked right down their noses at almost everyone else who failed to fit that description.)

Jim tells her he has an army – it would be suicide.  Barbara angsts it up and tells him to look around – they’re all slowly dying.  Some get to choose how.  I think this is meant to be about how she’d choose to die killing Oswald – but all it does is remind you that Tabitha most definitely opted for her fate – and renders it all less than sympathetic again

Jim tells her he’s sorry about Tabitha, and that things got out of control.  What things?  When she ran into a warehouse filled with Oswald’s men and a bunch of ammunition?

He goes on to say he’s trying to keep the city from falling apart. Barbara stares back at him and tells him he’s too late.  Jim frowns.

She goes on – though, and asks him about the favour.  He asks for trucks.  She asks what for – and Jim stodgily replies that it’s a police matter.  Barbara laughs at the absurdity of it – catapulted back to the compartmentalising days of their engagement – and says they could write that on his tombstone.

She caves, though, and gives him the trucks.  She then bizarrely screams after him, though

Knock yourself out - drive into the nightmare you created.  Here he comes, Gotham – your judge, gaoler, most hated son. Have at him - rip him to shreds.  No-one deserves to die more than he!

So don’t give him the trucks, then.  Make your mind up, Barbara.

Her lip wobbles and she drinks again.  I’d give it a rest, Barbara – that was mental.  You’re one drink away from a self-indulgent karaoke song.

Jim and Harvey drive through the city – specifically under a bridge, where we can see bodies hanging. Apparently, this area was a cesspool before – but is now even worse.  People dressed in gothy, skull-heavy outfits suddenly appear alongside them, flinging Molotov cocktails and firing arrows.

Welcome to the Badlands.

We’re at the location the place Will mentioned, where there’s child slave labour overseen by some tools in gasmasks.   One complains that the oldest boy we see – Gabriel – allowed Will to escape.  He thought Gabriel had promise – and offers a chance to inhale whatever is in his mask for energy or to see the future.

He then witters on about the tunnel they’re building that will give them exclusive access to the mainland for trade.  Until the situation is resolved.  Or, you know, someone just comes in and takes it from them.

Gabriel points out that the tunnel is too narrow.  Progress is slow, the roof is leaking, and it’ll collapse when they hit the river.

Beardy gasmask guy gets cross at this.  He had high hopes for Gabriel.  He points his gun at him, but is disturbed by one of his minions telling him to get out front.

Outside – we see trucks parked.  Beardy irritably asks who was on watch.  One of your tedious stoner mates?

Put your weapons down

Is that the James Gordon?

We get western-style music

Beardy comments that if they kill him they’ll get bullets and be in Oswald’s good graces.  They draw guns – but are surrounded by GCPD. There’s a bit of back and forth – but Jim takes his keys, and goes into the building, telling Harvey to kill him if he moves.

The children all stare adoringly at Jim.  He gives the keys to Gabriel, who starts to release all the other children’s manacles/cuffs/whatever.  It was a pretty tooth-rotting moment.

Outside, leader man asks Harvey why he’d be a cop in this town.  Harvey says the costume shop was out of gas masks – so it was either this or sexy nurse.

As they talk – the leader’s eye flits to one of his men, creeping up.  There’s a disagreement that quickly turns into a full rammy.  Most of the children escape in the trucks – but Jim, Harvey, Gabriel and two little girls are left fleeing on foot.

Back at the mansion, Bruce approaches Ivy.  She seems relieved – asking for his help. She says she didn’t kill the men in the vines – it’s the park. The trees, plants, roots – speaking to one another. The men came to kill her – but the plants saved her

Bruce tells her that he needs help for a friend who was shot – not naming Selina. The nurse directed him to The Witch – and here he is.  Ivy said she would usually help – but this park is behaving so oddly.

We hear a knock at the door – jaunty waistcoat villager.  Bruce asks him to wait. Ivy says there’s a magical seed under the oak – she’ll help him find it if he protects her.

Back at the Library, Ed wakes up.  He's chained himself down – and is exultant that it seems to have stopped his sleep walking.

Doesn’t he…. have the key? Jfc, Ed.

He unlocks the padlock and gets up, heading to the bathroom

No

Why am I seeing this?

I don't need Ed peeing

As he relieves himself – he talks to himself in the mirror about how the sleepwalking was likely just stress.  

We hear grunting from somewhere else in the room.  Ed pulls back the shower curtain, and finds a burly biker man tied up in the bath.  

Ed looks away, back into the mirror and tells himself there’s nothing there – laughing hysterically. His laughing fades and he closes his eyes.

He pulls back the shower curtain again – this time wielding a plunger.  Without washing his hands.

He asks the biker who the hell he is.  The biker is massively disgruntled.

Are you serious?

Ed admits he doesn’t remember.  The man’s name is apparently Tank.  He’s part of the Street Demons gang.Ed asks if he hit him, etc.  Tank is still sullen – and says Ed wanted information, but he wouldn’t give it.  Ed eyes him

I’m gonna guess you gave it to me

Oo-er, missus.

Ed says he can't remember the info – so they’ll have to do it all again, and hauls him out of the bath.

Jim and co running through the streets, hunted.  Shooting Oswald was dumb, Jim.  I know he’ll forgive you shortly – but it’s inconvenient in the meantime.

They run into a nearby building.  Harvey points to the candle burning, and warns that someone else is there.  Jim’s all caught up in the romance of his sheriff fantasy, and says that settlers in the Old West would sometimes leave a candle burning as a sign of sanctuary.  Maybe there’s still good people left in Gotham

Harvey raises an eyebrow at this romanticism, and then complains when Jim sends him to search the basement in this creepy hotel.  Jim meanwhile heads upstairs.  The children are left behind – and we see a shadowy figure pass behind them, looking sort of Victorian.

(An aside because this episode is boring – it’s odd how our collective imagination heads straight to Victorian stuff when it comes to ghosts)

Jim walks along the upper floor.  It’s a nice, creepy atmosphere.  There’s a room with a flickering bulb.  Jim offers a very tentative GCPD.  A small boy dressed in a school uniform runs out.  Jim reassures him.

Harvey in the basement, which is actually a proper kitchen like you would get in a big old house. Less traditional are the containers on the table containing jewellery, glasses, teeth, and fingers.

Harvey starts to quietly panic.  He’s then accosted by the masked Victorian woman wielding a razor, and starts to loudly panic.

Jimmmm!

Back at the library, Ed hits the biker in the face.  Am I expected to believe Ed was able to overpower this guy?  

He caves and passes the info – which is pretty pedestrian: Ed wanted to know where the Street Demon base was and whether their boss, Emmanuel Vazquez, would be there.

Ed asks the man what his demeanour was like last night.  Was he confident, flamboyant, charismatic?  Or a little repressed? Conservative?  Nerdy?

The man says he seemed stiff – in a daze.  Ed digests this, and then they leave.

Back at Ivy's impromptu 60s horror film.  Bruce leaves the room with a faux terrified Ivy.  Bruce tells the villagers to stay calm – he’ll take responsibility for her. Ivy promptly kills them all.

She turns to him – a hand on his throat – and tells him he’s utterly naïve.  Bruce says she didn’t have to kill them, but she replies that she wanted to.

Bruce stares balefully at her.  He tells her the friend he’s here for is Selina – she’s paralysed and has lost the will to live.  Ivy glares back at him.

Good.  That bitch destroyed the last drop of Lazarus water.  Let her suffer

Bruce says he doesn’t believe her.  Ivy avoids answering him like Jim has avoided awkward discussions about killing Oswald. She tells him she wasn’t lying about the park.  She’s been feeding it corpses.  It consumes them then flourishes.  She says she’ll plant Bruce.  What will grow, she wonders.

He tells her those men she killed were right.  She’s a murderous, callous witch. She smiles

Trying to bait me, boy?

Bruce says he wouldn’t waste his breath.  There’s no good left in her.  The park isn’t beautiful and colourful and flourishing.  It smells of death.  

Ivy doesn’t like this. She purses her lips and tells him it’s a work in progress. Bruce says it’s a nightmare.  She looks at him, and says if she helps him, he’s to leave her alone.  They leave for the garden.

Back with Jim and the kid from the room

(An aside – it struck me here that the pacing in this episode felt really off.  This should have been tense – but we spent too long with Ed and Bruce, and now we’ve lost a lot of tension.)

The boy tells Jim that his parents are dead – the woman here found him – the ghost.  She was kind at first.

They’re interrupted by Harvey. He says that there’s a crazy woman here. Jim tells the boy that they’ll protect him.  As they start to run, the boy says she makes him call her mother.

They head into a room off the corridor, but the boy slips out and shuts Jim and Harvey in.  We see the lights in the room flicker and strobe. The boy, stone-faced on the other side of the door tells them

The lights will make you dizzy.  Then fall asleep.  You won't feel a thing

Harvey starts to fold. Jim kicks at the door.  The boy calls that he should give into it.  As he does, we see the woman behind him, and she slashes out at him with her razor.

There’s a scuffle. Harvey smashes the window – allowing light into the room.  Her mask falls off, and the ghostliness is all gone.  She screeches at Jim – she’s the only mother the boy knows.  Harvey tells her she’s a crazy bitch – but she protests that she’s protecting him: she taught him how to survive.

She also manages to kick and slash Jim, and makes her escape.

At the biker hideout, which is apparently deserted.  As we look round, though, we see lots of stabbed bikers – including the boss.  Tank asks if Ed does this, to which Ed honestly responds that he can’t remember

Turning, we see a really boringly painted message on the wall

Penguin was here.

The biker growls: Penguin did this

Ed looks dubious.  I think not

Tank replies that whoever it was, someone started a war

Back at Ivy’s park.  She reaches into the earth as Bruce watches and extracts a seed.  It looks incredibly gross.  

She hands it to Bruce. He asks her if that’s human blood that it’s coated in.  She tells him that if Selina ingests it, it will find the way to the wound.  Bruce asks if it will cure her.  Ivy shrugs. Everyone responds differently.  The only thing that’s sure is that she’ll be altered forever – the darker angels of her nature unlocked and set free.  You very rarely see that one listed in the side-effect section of the information pamphlet.

She asks if Selina can live with it, then eyes him shrewdly and asks if he can.  Bruce tells her he doesn’t know any other way.  Ivy smiles – and tells him to go then, give her the seed. She adds that he still doesn’t know if he can trust her.  Bruce agrees and she replies.

Good – you’re finally becoming a man

Bruce asks where she’ll go, and she says that’s none of his business.  He needs to hurry: the seed will die if exposed to the air for too long.

(An aside - if I desperately scrabble to get more fro this episode - I could say that there’s maybe a Jim and Bruce parallel.  Jim’s doing good - but he’s definitely getting something from what he’s doing now.  Bruce’s actions are to save Selina - but also to salve his own guilt at how she ended up shot in the first place) 

Back at the haunted hotel, Harvey and Jim run downstairs and usher the children out.  As they do, Harvey turns to Jim

Not everyone wants help, Jim Gordon

They run out into the street.  We get a slightly too loud bit of dialogue between Harvey and Jim to let us know that Jim only has two bullets left. It had a real look out for snakes! quality.

The soothsayers and the goths show up.  There’s a standoff where they both have guns pointed at Jim – both keen to collect the bounty.

Bruce is back in the ward. Alfred tells her that Selina’s not great – hasn’t uttered a word since he left.  Bruce tells him the witch is actually Ivy.  Alfred looks dubiously at the seed – which does look really nasty.

Bruce says it might help. Alfred says Ivy is a maniacal cold-hearted killer

Selina suddenly pipes up

Give it to me

Bruce says he has doubts. Selina says that she’s suicidal anyway – so if Ivy wants to kill her, she can have at it.  Bruce hands her the pill.  She asks if she’s just to swallow it, and then does so without hesitation. Bravo, Selina.  That seed looked gross.

They watch. She exhales

Still here

Alfred laughs.

Selina says she knows Ivy has lost her mind – but Selina found her when she was first on the street, after her parents died.  It was a cold winter – and Ivy got really sick. Selina took her under her wing: showed her how to find food, a roof.  Eventually she got colour in her face – and Selina kept checking in with her every day.

I know she looks old now – but she'll always be that little girl to me

Alfred and Bruce look fondly at her – but as they do, she starts to sweat and convulse.  Doctors and nurses rush in, and Alfred holds Bruce back

My God.  What have I done?

Back at the standoff. This is really unforgiveably boring.

Blah blah  - Jim has two bullets.  Basically, Barbara arrives before things can go very wrong.  She’s had a change of mind since their chat.  Beardy guy takes aim at her from the ground, but Jim shoots him.  Barbara comments that it must be love, since it was his last bullet.

She steps closer and tells him to

Help me do what needs doing - kill Penguin

(An aside -I’m so very done with this stupid notion that Oswald is the big problem in town.  It makes absolutely no sense.  If anything, the only reason we don’t have all-out gang warfare is because there’s not enough ammunition to go round, because Oswald has a grip on it.  As for the notion that Barbara is somehow better – she’s hoarding food and drink to run a brothel while there’s not enough to go round.  If they show doesn’t make clear later that Barbara’s stance is entirely personal and irrational, I’m going to be very grumpy.)

Jim says they’ll table this discussion for later.

(An aside.  Barbara.  Harvey. Jim is not going to kill Oswald. If you don’t know this by now, then you haven’t been paying attention.  He didn’t do it to placate Falcone. He didn’t do it to string Theo Galavan along and get a conviction. He didn’t do it to guarantee silence after Theo’s murder. He didn’t do it when Oswald’s actions threatened to disrupt his work with the Court of Owls.  He didn’t do it when he was apparently all darkness and rage with the Tetch virus. He didn’t do it at the bequest of Sofia Falcone, and he didn’t do it most recently, when the city is a wasteland and Oswald controls virtually all the weaponry.  It’s a no, guys.   If he changes his mind on this, then it’s an ooc swizz.)

In the Green Zone - where the lighting is all idyllic.  Lucius shows off the new lodgings he’s found/created.  It’s not ideal – but it’s better than anywhere else. Citizens are gathering, and it’ll be full by lunchtime.

A woman approaches with her children to thank Jim for delivering them.  Barbara rolls her eyes and leaves – calling over her shoulder:

See you around, killer.  We have unfinished business

I have to ask – is anyone invested in this?  Anyone?

Back with Selina.  The doc says whatever she took put her into shock – but she’s now stabilised.  Bruce looks solemn.  There’s a statue of Jesus behind him.  Hi Jesus!

Alfred says they should go. He walks on, but Bruce lingers to peek in, and is shocked to see Selina’s bed empty and the window open.  He rushes in and looks out the window.  Selina walks up behind him

Bruce says it's a miracle. Selina’s eyes are closed, and she smiles beatifically.  She says she feels no no pain.  Bruce says he thought he’d killed her, but Seline says she’s even better than before.

They hug, and over Bruce’s shoulder, we see Selina open her eyes – which momentarily look just like a cat’s eyes.

General Observations

Ugh.  With a couple of exceptions, that was a slog.

No Oswald at all.  I’m not sure why this would be the case – but the episode palled badly without him.  If it’s to try and easily paint him as a flat villain in his absence, it failed.  Life in Gotham is mind-bendingly boring without him.

Ed

It’s not that I’m not interested in Ed, but there’s not really much need for interpretation or further examination for what’s going on.  It’s either part of his own subconscious (we’ve seen that this can happen with Ed), or something to do with Hugo’s tinkering.  I’m not quite sure why I feel a sort of weird lack of tension with this plotline, but there it is.

Barbara

Likewise – Barbara’s revenge plot is really just tiresome.  I will admit to being nakedly biased towards Oswald, but even if that weren’t the case - it’s hard to feel real sympathy here.  Babs – Oswald didn’t invade Sirens, seek Tabitha out and then stab her in the heart.  She went looking for him, and then left him with no other options.  Not only that – but she was fully aware that getting revenge for Butch meant leaving you alone.  Last, but not least: She.  Murdered. His.  Mother. I know the big female solidarity thing really only extends to women 18-40 who can turn a profit for you – but still.  Take a moment to think this over.

Look I get that it’s easier for her to be angry at Oswald than it is to be angry at Tabitha – but it’s still a bit tedious.  A lot tedious.

Jim

As previously discussed, there’s more meat to Jim’s story right now – but I’ve no idea whether it’s intentional.  I’m sure Jim does genuinely care about the citizens who need help.  However, Jim is also loving this.  All that murky stuff from the past is gone.  Here, he’s Big Jim Gordon, the heroic sheriff in a Wild West town.  His deputies do what he says, and Miss Kitty who runs the brothel can help out when needed.  Big-eyed children rush to him for help, mothers thank him, and he gets to rush headfirst into fights outgunned whenever he wants.  

I’m not sure where that fancy-dressed guy with the European name and the limp fits in to his story, but maybe Jim’s watched more Westerns than I have.

Hopefully this might head in a more complicated direction.  A couple of the scenes with Jim and the children seemed deliberately too saccharine. Harvey warned him that not everyone wants his help.   Let’s see where things go.

Jim and Barbara

I remember, way back when, commenting that the lack of real closure between Jim and Barbara felt unrealistic.  Jim’s serious-minded and quite traditional (or seemed so at that point, anyway).  He and Barbara were engaged to be married – church booked and dress bought, as Barbara told us.  The relationship did have had its problems: Barbara was depressed and day drinking, while Jim was busily emulating his father and compartmentalising like crazy – but it always felt like they would have more definitively closed the chapter, as opposed to just moving on like it was a short-term relationship.  I think what we’re seeing here is basically unfinished business being played out. Probably better for it to play out with the help of contraceptives, but hey, we know where they’ve decided to go with this.

Again - if you want to make it more problematic in a desperate bid to make things more interesting - killing Tabitha, having Barbara trade in ‘information’ instead of all out violence, masking what goes on in Sirens, putting a nice white coat on her: it’s all to ‘purify’ her character to make her suitable for the pregnancy storyline later.  Not too, pure, though.  My guess is she’ll die nobly at some point, and Lee will wind up raising the baby with Jim.

Recaps are a lot faster and easier when there’s no Oswald and the episode is a bit lacklustre.

Thoughts?

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (5/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/N: It’s been a day, my friends, and when it’s been a day I like to give you guys chapters earlier than I expected. But also because I’m sitting on chapters and want to get to the good stuff! Our favorite duo really start to interact from now on, so the slow burn you guys are feeling is speeding up!!!

As always, thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke❤️

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-/-

“How hot is it in Texas right now?”

“Hotter than here, but not all that bad. Seventies, I think.”

“Well, that’s probably because that weird heat wave is over, and it’s back to being fifty degrees outside.”

“True,” Ruby sighs, pulling a dress out of Emma’s closet. “You should wear this dress. It makes your ass look fantastic.”

“No one sees my ass.” She walks over to Ruby and grabs the red dress anyways, folding it up since she knows that it won’t wrinkle. She pulls up the weather app on her phone, scrolling through the thirty cities she has saved, and finds the week’s forecast for Houston, seeing that the high is indeed mostly going to be mid-seventies. That’s good. That’s far better than it is when they have to travel during the summer. “Should I bring heels or embrace flats for the week?”

“Bring your nude pair.” Ruby chunks them at the bed, about two feet away from taking Emma’s eye out. “Oh, and the turquoise if you’re going to wear that green pencil skirt.”

“You just want to borrow them if we go out, don’t you?”

Ruby pulls her turquoise pumps out of her closet, which really needs to be organized but that’s a story for another time, and tosses them on the bed before she grabs several more shirts and pants for Emma. “You know me so well, even if we mostly go out in Texas simply to eat their food.”

“Ugh,” she groans just thinking about it. “If we’re going to do that, I need to bring looser clothing. I don’t want everyone to think I’m pregnant when it’s just a food baby.”

“I bet you everyone would think it’s Jones’s baby.”

Her eyes cut over to Ruby as she picks up her turquoise heels and places them on her striped chair. How can someone be both the worst and the best friend? “For that, I’m not bringing these heels.”

“You’re evil.”

“You shouldn’t be mean to me if you want to borrow my shoes.”

“Being mean is kind of in her wheelhouse,” Graham adds in as he pokes his head through her bedroom door, eyes glancing over the mess that’s currently happening. He’s totally judging. “Do you two realize that your flight is at six in the morning, and you’re up at two in the morning packing?”

“Do you realize that it’s two in the morning, and you have to take us to the airport at four?” Graham rolls his eyes before Ruby walks toward him and presses up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck and slide her lips over his. “Thank you for doing that, by the way.”

He presses down to kiss her once more. “You’re going to be gone for three days. I’m going to miss you.”

“Cheesy,” Emma grumbles, tossing a rolled-up sock at the back of Ruby’s head. They’ve really got to stop throwing clothes. She’s never going to be able to find anything. “Can’t you two go make out in your room or something?”

“I kind of like that idea.”

“Me too. Ems, pack the damn turquoise shoes and some spanx so that you can eat and people won’t think you’re having Jones’s baby.”

“Wait, what?” Graham mutters. “You’re having Jones’s baby?”

“No one is having anyone’s baby, and it better stay that way. Use protection.”

“Pack the shoes.”

“I still don’t understand what’s going on.”

“You’re not supposed to, babe,” Ruby laughs, backing Graham out of the room and pulling Emma’s door shut behind her.

Those two are ridiculous, and if she didn’t love them so much, living with them would be nearly impossible. Seriously.

Emma gets an hour of sleep after she finishes packing (thanks late night games and early morning flights), and she’s basically a zombie as she and Ruby load into the back of Graham’s squad car as he drives them to JFK. She knows that it takes awhile to get there, but she’s pretty sure that she slept the whole time because before she even realizes it, she and Ruby are checking into their flight at the kiosk and going through security. It’s the emptiest she’s ever seen the place, and she would know. She spends far too much time in airports for her job.

When the team travels, she travels. Most of the time. Some trips she doesn’t work, and it’s glorious.

It used to not be that way. She’d only travel for the games that were actually shown on ESPN or sometimes Fox, but now that ESPN has an entire online streaming service, she’s traveling nine games out of ten and working all home games. It’s exhausting, to a point, but she has a hell of a lot of travel miles and rewards programs that she gets to keep even though the network pays for her flights and hotels. Sometimes that means she gets six am flights when she doesn’t have to be in Houston until seven in the evening, but it’s not always that bad.

And one day she’s going to use those points to travel to Italy or something.

Pasta would be really good right now.

So would coffee, but if she has coffee, she won’t sleep on the plane. And sleeping on the plane is kind of important if she wants to not look like a zombie tonight. Her face may look like a zombie, but at least her ass will look great.

She doesn’t want anyone to comment on the state of her ass. She’s the only one allowed to do that.

Okay, she’s lost her mind.

-/-

The Yankees win their sixth game of the season that night.

She eats the best barbecue sandwich she’s ever had, and a clip of her eating ends up on Sports Center.

Sometimes she wonders if people actually watch baseball for the game or if they simply watch because there’s always something weird going on in the crowd.

The sandwich was worth it.

-/-

Emma’s feet hit against the treadmill as Queen blares in her headphones and a tennis match in Monte Carlo plays on the television in front of her, Rafael Nadal sliding back and forth on the clay as he absolutely dominates his opponent. If every athlete was as good as Rafa is on clay, they’d all be dominant, but that’s likely a story for another day.

She’s got twenty-three minutes left on her run, especially since she’s going at a slow pace with a slight incline, but she can already feel the incline starting to kill her, her calves burning the slightest bit with each step that she takes. Her face is red, her hairline slicked back with sweat, and she can already tell that getting her sports bra off is going to be an impossible task. She gets that it’s for the support and all, but there should really be an easier way for her to free her boobs from their confines.

Free the boob.

Unless she’s running or walking down stairs or doing anything more than some light walking.

Her phone buzzes on the machine, and the man on the treadmill looks over at her like he’s annoyed by the fact that her phone made some kind of noise. It’s not her fault that he didn’t bring any headphones, and really, if he’s so bothered by her, he can move two treadmills down. This hotel gym is plenty big enough.  

Ruth: I saw you eating a sandwich on TV last night! That’s too funny!

Ruth: I hope you’re having fun!

Ruth: I miss you, sweetie!!!

For Ruth to be sixty-five, she has a fantastic grip on technology. She knows that it’s because she and David have taught her how to text and find clips of their segments and articles online, but still. She knows how to use emojis and gifs and even has an Instagram, which is only slightly terrifying most of the time. But she knows it’s simply to keep up with she and David’s lives since they don’t always tell her everything.

Okay, that’s mostly her.

But David has a much better relationship with Ruth, which makes sense considering she’s his mother. She’s Emma’s…quasi mother. She’s never been too sure how to go about it. Calling David her brother is much easier than calling Ruth her mom, and she knows it’s because the word mom has more heavy meaning behind it.

Emma: It was a good sandwich! Only a little time for fun since I’m here for work. I miss you too!

Ruth: There’s always time for fun!

Ruth: David and MM are driving up to visit me next weekend for the holidays. Are you coming too?

Emma: I don’t get vacation days like David does, so I’ll be in LA. I wish I could.

Her music stops between songs, and she hears the roar of the crowd on the television, seeing that the match just ended, and her treadmill starts to slow down, the time ticking down past five minutes so that it’s time for her to cool down with a slow walk while she keeps texting Ruth about the fact that she’s working over Easter weekend. She pretty much doesn’t have days off, except for days the team has off, until the season is over in October. Or early November. It depends. And then she’s back working in the office writing articles and doing prep work and occasionally having to suffer through covering basketball.

Bills must be paid, but at what cost to her having to listen to sneakers squeaking?

Ruth never seems to understand that because she thinks that she and David have the same job even though David has never once been on camera. He’s behind the scenes all the way.

When her treadmill time officially runs out, she steps off and gathers her things before finding a towel to wipe down the handles from where she touched them. Angry man is still eyeing her as she cleans up, and she seriously hopes that he is not going to be there tomorrow.

If he is, maybe he’ll be happier.

She doubts it.

He seems to just be one of those people who is particularly unpleasant all the time.

Sweat sticks to her skin as she walks through the hotel hallways, casually airing out her tank top and wiping sweat back into her hair to get it off of her face, and she very nearly walks up the stairs to go back to she and Ruby’s room when she sees people milling around the dining room with breakfast on their plates.

Breakfast would be good.

Mostly water. And coffee. She’s not entirely sure if she’s recovered from her lack of sleep yesterday, which made her question her sanity when her alarm went off for the gym this morning, but she knew if she didn’t work out then, she wouldn’t work out at all. And she needs that push of adrenaline and endorphins.

Grabbing a plate from the buffet line, she walks through and fills her plate with fruit and scrambled eggs, even if she knows they’re from a bag and not a shell, and a half of a waffle from the waffle maker. She always loves when they have those at hotels. Good continental breakfasts are her jam…especially if they have jam.

“Got enough toppings there?”

Emma nearly drops her plate when she hears his voice, and when she twists her head to the side, she sees Killian Jones standing next to her, his own plate full of food in his hand. Seriously. Why is she always running into him when she’s eating?

And sweaty.

“Not enough if you ask me.”

He adjusts his hat, a Vanderbilt one that is very obviously a decade old. “I was  asking you.”

“I like toppings,” she sighs, putting some more fruit onto her waffle before grabbing the whipped cream can and spraying some of it onto her food. Her workout is yelling at her for this. “What’s the point of a waffle if you’re not going to load it down with toppings?”

“I’m more of a pancake man myself.” He reaches into the buffet and grabs a yogurt, which is definitely not a waffle or pancake. “But considering I’m playing tonight, I’m supposed to be watching what I eat.”

“You have an entire plate of eggs.”

“Protein, Swan, protein. You would know all about that with all that barbecue you ate last night.”

Just let her sink into a hole right now and never come back up. The internet is ruining her life.

“Weren’t you supposed to be tracking Roseman’s pitches last night or something?”

She turns on her heel and walks away from the buffet to a table, knowing that Killian is walking behind her. They have the weirdest relationship. It doesn’t even feel right to call it that, but they’re somewhere between a working relationship and reluctant friends, and the fact that he’s placing his plate down on the table across from hers makes her lean more toward reluctant friends who see each other occasionally enough to have a bit of a rapport.

Her life gets weirder every day.

Killian Jones has one brave set of balls.

Baseball, testicles, whatever. Both work. At least, she thinks.

“You can eat right after you work out?” he questions, twisting the knob on one coffee machine while she does it with the other, the promise of caffeine already invigorating her.

“How do you know I was working out?”

He raises a brow before his eyes look over her, lingering a second too long at her breasts, before a slow smile creeps from one side of his lips to another that has her stomach twisting inside. “Well, it’s not because of your outfit. People dress more like they’re working out when they’re not every day, but the sweat still soaked into your clothes and in your hair are kind of a dead giveaway. Your face is flushed as well.”

“Observant.”

“I try, but it’s easy when you’re an open book.”

Totally not acknowledging that one.

She twists the knob on the machine and reaches over for the hazelnut creamer while Killian simply puts the top on his. He drinks black coffee? That’s disgusting. “Black coffee? Do you not have taste buds?”

He shrugs. “I don’t like to drink my calories. You want a water?”

She nods her head, and he grabs two bottles before following her to sit back down at her booth like it’s totally normal for them to be sharing a meal together. They’ve done it before, but that’s because she was working with him. It was not because they’re staying at the same hotel and happened to run into each other at the buffet.

Weird.

But she’s not about to be bitchy and ask him to leave when she has no reason to other than her own reluctance to talk to people before noon.

They sit in semi-awkward silence as they work through their plates. She definitely overloaded her waffle, but she would never admit that after earlier. That would be admitting defeat, and she doesn’t take too kindly to admitting defeat. Killian eats at lightning speed, scarfing down eggs and sausage, his yogurt untouched, and she wonders what it must be like to be a professional athlete and eat more than the average human being, even if it’s not all good food like pizza and onion rings and loaded down waffles filled with chocolate chips.

Her phone buzzes on the table, and she leans over to read the text from Ruth still trying to convince her to come home for the weekend when she’s already explained that she cannot.

“Boyfriend?”

“Huh?” she hums, texting a message before looking up and seeing Killian staring down at her, his eyes shaded under his cap. She’s so distracted by the fact that he asked her if she was talking to her boyfriend that she doesn’t pay attention to her answer. “Oh, no boyfriend. It’s my…um, quasi mom.”

“Quasi mom?”

Shit. She should have just said Mom. Maybe she’s a little flustered by all of this.

“She was my foster mom,” Emma explains, stuffing some eggs into her own mouth to give her some more time to talk, “when I was a teenager, but we’re still in touch because her son, David, is kind of like this big brother to me. I work with him and am close to his wife and kid and all.”

That was word vomit that she should not have shared. That is not information that she should just give out, and yet here she is. Obviously, all of the blood hasn’t returned to her brain since her run. Hopefully it’ll all come back soon so she can stop looking like an idiot with a messed up past who shares too much at a breakfast.

“David Nolan, right?”

“Y-yeah. How do you know that?”

He shrugs his right shoulder before taking another forkful of eggs, chewing and smiling in a way that reminds her of that scene in Thor where Chris Hemsworth is in the diner and throws the mug down asking for another one. Why the hell did they dye his eyebrows and his beard in that movie? That was a mistake.

“Ariel, my manager, is super hands on with me. She’s talkative, like extremely, and she shares all kinds of information that I never need to know. So, I’ve heard a bunch of random shit that I literally never need to know about. David sends her a hell of a lot of emails that I get forwarded.”

“So, do you just know my entire life story then?”

“If you’re entire life story involves you liking pretzels and waffles, and being asked out by a jackass on live television, then yeah.”

She barks out a laugh, her lips curving upward, and reaches down to take a sip of her coffee. “I mean, that’s it. There’s nothing else to know about me.”

“You sure about that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

The smile on his lips fall into a straight line, his gaze intense, and he lifts the bill of his hat up before adjusting it back down. “Perhaps I would.”

“So, nosy,” she starts, still a little annoyed that he asked if she had a boyfriend and most definitely trying to lighten the conversation up again, “I’m going to be very self-indulgent and ask if you liked your segment. I want a more truthful answer than the one I got in the hallway.”

His lips curve up, pretty much taking up his entire face, and she can see the crinkle of his eyes as his long lashes land on his cheeks before opening back up to show his baby blues. Damn his eyes are blue. How is that even possible? Maybe they’re contacts or something.

No, that would be ridiculous.

“I freaking loved it. I mean, it was great. It was so simple, you know? You didn’t try to create some other angle, didn’t try to paint me as anything other than a normal guy. I really appreciate that. You have no idea,” he chuckles, reaching up to scratch beneath his ear. Is he nervous? Why the hell is he nervous? “I saw afterward, your cohost, he was a bit of a dick, wasn’t he? I know we talked about it a bit, but it seems like you just…well, it seems like the shit show is never ending for you.”

That is – that is not what she was expecting at all. She figured his apology was a one and done and that she’d never hear about it again.

“With my friends,” she starts, tapping her nail against the table, “I don’t mind. It’s funny. It’s something we can joke about, that I, myself, joke about, but when it happens in my professional life, it pisses me off. So many men have seen me as a joke in the past, have tried to tear me down that way, and it’s not something I like having to deal with now. I mean, it’s not like I can go off on them. That’s a great way for me to lose my job because I’m no longer,” she holds her fingers up and does air quotes, “likable.”

Killian lets out a low whistle as her heart hammers in her chest, her annoyance at this whole thing making her cheeks heat. It’s all so dumb, and really, she should hate him for it. She doesn’t though. She’s not always his biggest fan, but he apologized and obviously feels actual remorse. How was he supposed to know it would be like this?

And if she knows all of this to be true, why does she still get slightly irked by him sometimes?

Is that just because she’s so damn stubborn herself?

“Is there anything I can do to make it better for you? I mean, I put you into this situation. The very least I can do is try to get you out of it.”

“Nah, there’s nothing you can do more than treat me like a professional and go on as if you didn’t make an ass out of the both of us with millions of people watching.”

“I think I can do that. However I can’t promise not to keep making an ass out of myself though. My brother tells me it’s my natural state of being.”

“Your brother sounds like a smart man.”

“He likes to think so. His patients sure as hell hopes that he is.”

“I mean, I would hope so. Does he get to come to a lot of games?”

“He and Elsa and the girls try to make it to some of them, but it usually depends on if Liam is on call or if the game is too late, so it interferes with the girls’ bedtimes and school. But no matter what I always have a string of texts waiting for me afterwards.”

“They sound great. Your nieces are so cute. Like, adorable. When you posted that photo of the two of them wearing your jersey, my heart melted. That was cute, twenty-nine.”

“Twenty-nine?”

“Your number,” she says slowly, looking him over.

“Aye, I know. It’s just that I’m not used to being called that.”

“Oh, sorry.” She covers her mouth and takes a sip of her coffee. She’s never going to finish her food if they keep talking like this. “I call most of you guys by your numbers half the time. It’s faster, sometimes, for our stat-keepers. It’s a force of habit from back before the Yankees had names on their jerseys.”

“I like it,” he smiles. “You ever play any sports?”

“Nothing official. Why?”

“Just looking to see if you have a number I can call you, love.”

“Ooh, for a second I thought you were going to ask for my number, so that was a nice save.”

“Well, I mean, I could,” he shrugs, flashing that winning smile again.

“Not going to happen, twenty-nine.”

“Damn, I thought I’d stumbled myself into something. I guess that’s strike two for me.”

“Do you always speak in baseball puns?”

“Says the woman who made a joke about oral sex using a baseball pun.”

“Never claimed that I didn’t use them. I’m a fan of a good pun. If you can make it a clever innuendo, all the better.”

“I do love a good innuendo.”

“Yeah, I can tell with the whole tall, dark, and broody thing that you’ve got going on half the time before you whip out a smirk and do that thing with your eyebrows.”

“Why, Swan,” he sighs, waggling those damn eyebrows, “have you been watching me?”

“It’s literally my job.” He does his eyebrows again, and she flicks an apple chunk at him. “Shut it, twenty-nine.”

They sit in the booth and talk, the both of them going through two cups of coffee, before Killian gets a call that he needs to be on the bus to Minute Maid Park, which they both agree is an awful name for a stadium. It’s on the tip of her tongue to start naming off other awful names and major sponsors, but she doesn’t, holding that back as he gathers their plates and walks over to put them all in the bin, his mind seemingly having switched from casual conversation to baseball. She wonders how often he does something like that, just turning everything off to focus on his job.

She can do the same.

“So, Swan,” he sighs as they both walk toward the lobby, Killian to get on the bus and for her to walk toward the elevators, “you going to be around to interview me tonight when I walk off the field?”

“Only if my producer thinks that we need an interview from you.”

“Does this mean I need to play a damn good game?”

“Or a really bad one.”

��I’ll try for one of those.”

“Okay,” she laughs, backing away from him as she sees Scarlet and Fisher walk down into the lobby, “break a leg then.”

He raises a brow. “I’m not sure if that works in sports.”

“Guess you’ll be the first to try it out.”

Emma raises her hand to wave to him, before turning on her heel and walking toward the elevator, her mind trying to piece together all of the elements of her morning while her heart keeps beating like she’s still on the treadmill and not like she’s been sitting in a booth eating for the past two hours.

What the hell just happened?

When she gets back to her room, she quietly opens the door, not knowing if Ruby is awake or not yet, but as soon as she’s inside the room she sees Ruby sitting on the floor with her laptop in front of her with some kind of hair tutorial video on the screen. And whatever it is, Ruby is not succeeding at it, which is pretty much an impossibility with how good Ruby is with hair.

“What’d you do? Run to Manhattan and back? You’ve been gone for forever.”

Putting her phone and hotel key down on the dresser, she slides down onto the floor to sit with Ruby. Her legs are starting to ache, and she desperately needs a shower. She got a look at herself in the mirror in the elevator, and damn does she look rough.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Well, I woke up when you got up because you’re not quiet,” she huffs, tugging at her braid, “and then I woke up an hour ago. You’ve been gone for, like, three hours.”

“I spent a long time at the gym.” That’s not a lie, not really, but it’s not exactly the full truth. She’s not sure why she’s not being honest with Ruby, but it’s…it’s just what her brain has apparently decided on. That breakfast didn’t mean anything, right? So why would she hide it? Probably so no more jokes will be made about them. Yeah, that’s it. That has to be it. “And then I ate breakfast.”

“And you didn’t bring me anything?”

“Not supposed to take the food out of the restaurant area.”

“You could have stolen a banana.”

“Sorry?”

Ruby groans, twists her hair into another braid as the video ends, and then closes her laptop before looking at her, her eyes scanning over her outfit. “Let’s go get something from a café or something. What was that place we went to last time we were here?”

“Snooze, maybe?”

“Yes,” she hums, falling back against the floor before she very obviously remembers her slightly okay braided hair, “let’s go there.”

“I just ate, Rubes.”

“You can keep me company while I eat, and then we’ll go shopping before we have to come back and get ready for work.”

“Can I at least take a shower first?”

“I would prefer if you didn’t smell, so yeah.”

Emma reaches forward and slaps Ruby’s shoulder before getting up. “You’re the worst.”

“But I’m your best friend.”

“Unfortunately.”

“No, very fortunately.”

“Will you do my hair for tonight’s game?” she asks as she strips out of her tank top, sweat having practically dried it to her skin.

“If you let me wear your turquoise pumps.”

“You were going to wear them anyways.”

“Semantics.” Ruby waves her away. “Go take a shower. I’m starving, and I will absolutely perish if I don’t have food in my stomach in the next hour.”

[hpfangirl13]

Shipping Questions Challenge

I saw some other people answering these questions so I figured I would. This is basically everything ever about my shipping history.

Talk about the first ship you ever had.

My first ship was Bellamort. I was 11 and was in the process of reading Harry Potter for the first time. Something about them both intrigued me and despite Voldemort supposedly not being able to love, I always felt like he had a soft spot for Bellatrix. After Cursed Child, turns out I was right. ;)

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

Bellamort is definitely one of them because they were my first ship, not to mention the first fanfic I ever read was about them. Jamko is probably the biggest one because ever since I saw them for the first time, I have been obsessed with them. They made me feel like no other ship ever did. The night they became canon was the best night of my life, hands down. Joe and Mika from Morning Joe are probably my third because they gave me the same effect Jamko did. I was obsessed with them the moment I saw them. Something about the way they interacted on screen made me love them. Now they’re married so woohoo!

What’s your current OTP?

Thomas Magnum and Juliet Higgins from the new Magnum P.I. They are my latest obsession and I love their will they/won’t they relationship. “Day of the Viper”, the newest episode, was huge for their relationship development. They’re completely adorable.

What’s your current NOTP?

Erin and Anthony from Blue Bloods. I love them both individually and working together as a team but I can’t stand that people are shipping them romantically. He’s more like an uncle to her, he’s just WAYYY too old for her.

Do you have any poly ships?

No. I’m not into that stuff.

How do you feel about love triangles?

Not into these either. They’re pointless and we usually already know who’s going to end up with who anyway.

How do you feel about RPF?

I ship a lot of real people and celebrities. I think it’s fine as long as people don’t get creepy about it.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

Nope.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all?

The only one I can think of off the top of my head would be Captain America and Black Widow. They vibed all through Winter Soldier, but Marvel had to kill their potential relationship so that she and Hulk could be a thing. I’m still holding on to hope for them in Endgame though. I also have a lot of ships that are currently in the will they/won’t they phase.

Do you ship any characters that have never met?

No. I can’t ship people who I haven’t seen together.

Talk about your favorite first kiss.

Jamko’s first kiss back in season 4 of Blue Bloods. It was a little awkward but my 13-year-old self was losing her shit. I also had to wait a week after that episode aired to watch the episode. The struggle of having a flip phone and being on vacation was real.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together?

YES. Jamko has been a complete mess all season 9.  I’m not sure what the writers are trying to do with them, but they’ve completely killed their chemistry. I thought this season was going to be iconic, but it’s honestly been such a letdown. I wanted them together, but not with this sappy writing.

Has a ship ever broken your heart?

Jamko is kinda breaking my heart because they’ve been so out of character.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they?

It’s the best kind of ship tbh. There’s nothing better than the week to week anticipation of wondering if that week will be the week they finally happen or make progress. I love a good slow burn. You can’t say you’ve truly shipped something unless you’ve shed tears and felt pain because of the frustration of waiting.

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”?

Definitely. When you know you know. I fell in love with Jamko the minute I saw them.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked.

Initially, I hated Reylo. When Force Awakens came out I was 100% a Finn/Rey shipper. I thought her and Kylo were gross. But that all changed in The Last Jedi. Their “force Skyping” converted me. I love a good AU Reylo fic.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically.

I guess I would have to say Finn/Rey. He’s with Rose now, and as dumb as that ship is, I honestly think Rey and Kylo have more of a connection now. I also used to be really into Weller/Jane from Blindspot, but that pairing and show are shitty now.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship.

This season when Jamie and Eddie were playing mini golf and Jamie revealed that he had proposed there, I was baffled. I simply don’t want to believe that he proposed to her there right after she saved him from being shot. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea?

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself?

There are a few ships that I kind of don’t advertise that I’m in to. Joe and Mika and Bellamort would be a few examples.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping.

I feel like I’m the only person who ships Joe and Mika. I feel like everyone hates their politics and judges them because of what they talk about on their show. Also, they’re like 50-year-old news anchors and most of my friends think I’m pretty weird for liking them anyway. There’s probably someone out there who likes them as much as I do, I just haven’t found them yet.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against?

I guess Samar and Aram from Blacklist. They’re ok I guess, but I don’t really ship them. I don’t have anything against them though.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

Currently? Higgins and Magnum no question. But Ellick, Slibbs, and WonderBat are some of my other favorite matches in terms of overall chemistry.

Which of your ships deserve better writing?

JAMKO JAMKO JAMKO JAMKO JAMKO

Do you mostly ship canon pairings?

Many of the ships I have have become canon since I started shipping them. I find myself beginning to ship people, and then they get together down the road. There’s honestly nothing that I ship that I believe has no chance of getting together.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar?

Yes. This is what prompted me to start watching the new Magnum P.I.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to?

Yes. I love pairings where both people are very strong and independent, but unstoppable together. I pretty much exclusively watch crime dramas, so I especially love police and military couples. If they have obvious sexual tension, I’ll probably be drawn to them.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life?

I guess my longest ship would be Bellamort, which I started shipping when I was 11. I’m 18 now, but 7 years is a pretty good amount of time. I’ve also shipped Jamko for 6 years now.

Does shipping come easily to you?

It’s like breathing.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic?

This depends. In some cases, yes. But I love The Blacklist and I haven’t really shipped anyone on that show.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships.

I think Blacklist is kind of it… although I may be putting my Keenler hat back on soon.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love.

The “sharing a bed in a hotel” headcanon is an all-time favorite of mine.

Name your favorite fan artist(s).

To be honest, I don’t really know any fan artists by name.

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP.

For Jamko, the entire “The Block” album by New Kids on the Block. It’s not exactly a fanmix, but it’s a perfect album for them. I have made my own playlist for Magnum/Higgins recently:

“Juliet”- LMNT, “We Went as Far as We Felt Like Going”- Pussycat Dolls, “Big Time”- Big Time Rush, “7 rings”- Ariana Grande, “CRZY”- Kehlani

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for your ships?

Sadly no. I don’t have the talent or time.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP?

Not really. I have to be in a certain mood to read AU fics anyway.

Do you like and use ship names?

I love them and use them frequently, as illustrated by this post.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself?

I live vicariously through Eddie Janko. In middle school, I literally tried to act and dress like her. So that should tell you whose relationship I wish I could be in.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be?

How Jamko has been written this season. Go back to season 9 episode 1 and start over.

[cards-onthetable]

Hi, is this Jamko Grievances Hotline?

(This is it y’all, Aussie’s letting loose. Straight text is hers; any of my own additions are italicized. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, AUSSIE!)

My perception of Eddie season 4 - younger than Jamie, sheltered upbringing, bit of a private school princess as we say here. Rookie so she has a steep learning curve ahead of her. All pretty normal I think. Fyi I don't buy the BS that nobody saw their chemistry etc behind the scenes. Her whole "You're my first Reagan, be gentle" was to me the very beginning of this farce. It was obvious she was brought into the show to be his eventual love interest.

Season 5 - 1st episode Jamie loses his shit when Eddie pushed to the ground. Eddie apparently doesn't realise Jamie wants to jump her bones? doubt it but ok writers. His talk with Erin about Teresa Mancini being his first crush because Jamie likes opinionated bossy women etc. So writers/producers clearly want idea in viewers minds that yeah he wants her but noble, never-screw-your-partner Jamie Reagan denies it and Eddie supposedly remains oblivious.

Episode 2 - Jamie sides with Kara Walsh much to Eddie's disgust. It's Eddie that talks about bringing stink back with him etc after he partners with Walsh. It's Eddie talking about nobody trusts a rat etc etc. (geez I hate season 9)

The rest of the season passes with Eddie being kidnapped  (Jamie handled that smoothly didn't he)? and  Eddie's first kill. He wants to be there for her. Eddie also wants him there. Ok I get slow burn in TV shows but they in my mind have already crossed lines emotionally and MR HARVARD GRAD on some level has to know this. Eddie always showed signs of knowing she had feelings in my opinion.

Eddie undercover and Jamie loses his shit with Danny about getting his partner out etc. Danny and Maria knew about their feelings. Hell seems basically the entire precinct did but ok this slow burn shit continues all the while Jamie believing can't go there because dangerous on job blah blah blah. Sorry but you are already compromised. (AGREED. They’ve been emotionally compromised since early on.)

Season 6 - More interesting for me because Eddie started to be more his equal I felt. She would express opinions and argue more with him. But I did not like her "do you know who my partner's father is" BS (same, I still struggle to categorize that as a momentary lapse in judgment? A scared gut reaction when she got confronted? Not sure, but it was gross). They also had a fight in episode 11 when Eddie got them assigned to a detective detail. Eddie's "I'm not gonna apologise for wanting a career". Opinionated Eddie on display. You know the type Jamie is always attracted to. But still this slow burn BS continues. 

Season 7 - Well we all know how that played out. The year they confess feelings (no, the year Eddie confessed feelings in a moving, vulnerable moment and Jamie stammered about bad ideas and roads they’ve been down before. 😒😒), pash, attend out of town weddings together and get into fights. But yeah ok JUST PARTNERS. Honestly fuck off BB it's just a farce. Oh wait we are now going to ignore the kiss etc. Erase it from your memories like it never happened folks. UGH UGH UGH.

Season 8 - Mostly about Danny and losing Linda at first. OK I can deal with that. Jamko dinner date at the Chinese restaurant and we're reviving the sexual tension again. JUST FUCK ALREADY. But nope surprise Eddie has a boyfriend called Barry. Well she is entitled to her life considering the WE ARE JUST PARTNERS BS!! But apparently this boyfriend is enough to make Jamie stop and think as opposed to the other men that have come and gone. Yeah she got shot, Jamie could've lost her etc etc. Barry mentioned again so Eddie was still with him or had very recently split oh hey surprise WE'RE ENGAGED - (Adam Sandler starts in my head BUT IT ALL WAS BULLSHIT IT WAS A GODDAMN JOKE).

As an aside I absolutely hated the episode where Eddie recognised the absolute pig from her past and used her job to get even. Showing Eddie to be that unprofessional and needing to be brought to heel by Jamie and Erin really pissed  me off. That right there is why Eddie is considered beneath Jamie by the I hate Eddie brigade. I understand being shocked running into the guy but showing Eddie to have such poor judgement just didn't sit well. And hey T.O. you failed cos you probably should've taught her that you can't use your authority for personal gain but clearly you didn't but you know it's wrong so the all powerful Reagans can get you out of the trouble silly little Eddie tried to get herself in.

Season 9 - ARE THEY FUCKING JOKING? 

1 - Still working together because their judgement won't be affected in a negative way. oops Eddie trapped in fire and Jamie loses his shit.  But ok engaged and working together CHANGES NOTHING

2 - Jamie promoted and getting transferred and immediately Eddie brings up putting in for a transfer. He says no. He then requests her. She says no. Good maybe they really will let them be separated at work which given it meant Eddie basically relegated to family dinners surprised me.

3 - Oh my guy's being talked about meanly. This won't do. FYI I actually was ok with Jamie appearing a bit irritated when she arrived at work as his girlfriend. I like to keep home and personal separate so I could understand his less than thrilled reaction but that's not everyone's cup of tea and I understand that. But hey spoiler BB his colleagues have seen his girlfriend you morons, so transferring her into work there by end of episode and pretending people don't know IS BULLSHIT

4 - Think I already discussed this with @ontherockswithsalt but I was irritated. Jamie made it clear he did not trust that detective and Eddie seemed to see it solely as an attack on her capabilities. Old Eddie I think would've at least listened. But SHIT goes wrong and it is Jamie coming to rescue Eddie. I understood why the majority felt Jamie over stepped and Eddie is trained etc. But she had found herself in an out of control situation because she was pinned with breath knocked out of her and help was not coming until it had gone further. Jamie is aware of what this arse would be rapist is doing. He is aware of Eddie's history with sexual assault. He does not trust this detective. THE MAN IN JAMIE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT HIS WOMAN WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY WORKING TOGETHER IS TOTAL BULLSHIT KEVIN WADE AND YOU KNOW IT. That was not Sergeant  Reagan that was ANGRY JAMIE out to play. But Eddie is upset which i get because she feels it's an attack on her capabilities and no chick is gonna be happy with that and she talks about "we agreed we'd separate work and home Jamie you gotta choose". 

5 - It was Eddie telling Sean about what it means to be a Reagan, higher standards etc etc. Oh look a little bit of affection seeing Jack off. Works for me because they are at home, not working. 

6 - He puts both Maya and Eddie on foot patrol AND SHE DEFENDS HIM? Oh come on Old Eddie is not that stupid. Sorry it's Eddie 2.0 this season, I forgot. So again it's Jamie Reagan the HARVARD GRAD telling her that was a mistake well NO SHIT and old Eddie wouldn't have done it.

7 - I kinda enjoyed that low growl as he went to kiss her in the kitchen. Her mum's a delight but to me supportive Jamie was on display this episode because they were at home. He can be Jamie there. At work he's supposedly Sergeant Reagan not Jamie.

8 - Jamie upset with his decision and Eddie is supportive. Only really saw them at home so nothing really annoyed me here.

9 - Eddie and Maya and 2 others supposedly bullied and Jamie has to explain why it's a bad look. Not convinced old Eddie would be so keen to just let the loud mouths go but maybe the point was to suggest Eddie really not that capable without Jamie by her side? Oh no it's not that because Eddie caught the wanted killer. You girl. Then their boss tells Frank he's not blowing smoke when praising them. So what their CO does know?

10 - NO NO NO. EDDIE FLAT OUT LIES WHEN ASKED BY MAYA HOW LONG THEY BEEN SLEEPING TOGETHER. BUT OH NO JAMIE IN A SHOOT OUT AND HERE COMES EDDIE RUNNING SERGEANT REAGAN ARE YOU OK WITH THE PUPPY EYES. But ok sure Maya and co believe you aren't screwing. BULLSHIT

11 - Jamie stuffs up. Did that actually happen? He makes a mistake someone gets shot and nothing is said? SAY WHAT? Also Eddie has to pull Jamie off the shooter and is calling him Jamie which apparently is wrong so again THEY ALL KNOW YOU ARE SCREWING FOLKS.

12 - I'm annoyed that anyone can mention 100k and wedding in same breath but hey maybe that's really what a wedding in NYC costs. Wedding talk bores me so I found that episode blah. He certainly needs to learn to express himself better. The venue seemed ok I guess.

13 - Wedding dress description to the guy you gonna marry? I'm bored. Oh wait personal and professional lives must be separated so yeah it seems really logical to therefore be discussing their issues at work. What's this did Jamie just tell her he loves her in busy precinct? Ok maybe it's me who has a head injury because I thought we were still playing secret squirrel.

14 - Not that much Jamko really but hey Henry while I understand Danny's point I am firmly team Jamie because how on Earth can he maintain any discipline/control when his own brother totally disregards him? Henry and Frank care more about Frank's precious job and the family name. OH Fuck Me Frank Reagan's bullshit is a separate rant. Did love the dinner table spat though. Give me more of that. Also kinda impresses by that saga at the end.

15 - we've discussed this

16 - Nice to see them working together I guess 

17 - Maya corrupt. I'm ho hum in a way. I kinda think making the first black recurring police officer corrupt plays into the ‘blue bloods is racist’ crowd but I really don't know enough about the culture there. I did like Jamie having her arrested  at roll call because I'm all for sending a message. Again this woking together and screwing is BS but hey that's the theme of the season.

18 - Who knows I haven't seen much but I'm over it. IT DOES NOT WORK. END OF STORY.

But in closing Eddie does look like can't be trusted in my opinion because she came to the new precinct that was known to be trouble. And for a year her and her boss have been lying. Jamie has the Sergeant has power. Eddie does not. Given how rats are seen how does Eddie's position not come with major blow back when all is revealed? Jamie can't shield her cos that'd be playing favourites and hey we keep work and home separate (except for when we don't) BECAUSE IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.

If the go ahead with season 10 and I'm silly enough to watch I am hoping for serious fallout. I want Eddie ostracised at work because I think that is realistic and they supposedly pride themselves on being real. I think it would be interesting character development for Eddie and also for Jamie because HEY HARVARD HOW'S BEING A BULLSHIT ARTIST WORKING FOR YA? I'd like to see HARVARD have to grapple with how his stupidity has truly affected the woman he loves. And hey maybe Eddie can return to her old self.

This dummy spit written and authorised by Aussie.

Sorry if I've broken your eyes due to eye rolling.

[lasersheith]

Lasersheith’s Fic Masterlist

Thanks so much to everyone who reads/likes/comments on/shares my stuff, it means the world to me!

Finished works

AU:

Take It If You Want It | Complete | Ch.13/13 | 57k | M

Tags: Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, fluff, light angst with a happy ending, pining, irresponsible use of alcohol, side pairing: Mattor, side pairing: Allurance, side pairing: Hidge

Written for Sheith Big Bang 2018!

Keith and Hunk make New Year’s Resolutions to finally tell their respective crushes how they’ve felt for years. Hunk takes all of 3 minutes, but Keith needs… a little longer.

Birthday mishaps, misunderstandings, self discovery, exciting new job opportunities, minor blackmail… a lot can happen in a year. Surely the perfect moment for a years-overdue love confession fits in there somewhere?

Serendipity’s Wings | Complete | Ch.7/7 | 24k | E

Tags: Modern AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, bedsharing, fluff, hurt/comfort, pining Shiro, sidepairing: Allura/Kuro, Shirogane twins

When Shiro receives bad news about his grandfather, he immediately books a flight for Japan. Luckily for him, he finds a familiar face in the pilot. It's been a long time since he saw his childhood friend Keith, but they pick up where they left off almost immediately.

Unluckily, his twin brother has decided to jump to conclusions, and now his family thinks he and Keith have rekindled a flame that was never there. Rather than disappoint them in a tense moment, Keith gamely agrees to play along. What are friends for, after all?

Oh Brother | Complete | Ch. 6/6 | 17k | T

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, humor, salt, sidepairing Matt/Allura, one-sided kl

What do you do when your boyfriend is in the hospital and they only let in immediate family? Lie and say you’re married? Not if you’re Keith, you don’t. Thanks to Keith’s inner turmoil, he and Shiro are stuck pretending to be brothers while he recovers. But Keith has to admit, “Mr. Shirogane” has a nice ring to it. 

The Gravitas of a Mattress | Complete | Ch. 7/7 | 16k | M

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, oh my god they’re banging each other’s roommates, sidepairing Latte

From the prompt: My roommate got it on with yours yesterday and I don’t think I can face them for a while after hearing the sounds they made last night. Mind if I stayed with you for a while?

Keith gets sexiled from his dorm room because Matt and Lance won't stop hate-fucking. He decides that it's only fair that he gets to crash in Matt's room if Matt gets to keep him out of his own. Shiro is confused but accommodating. Very accommodating.

Matt and Lance have their own fun side adventure in learning to like each other and play nice. Pidge doesn't like it. Allura might.

Flowers don’t always mean “I love you” | Complete | Ch. 8/8 | 14k | T

Tags: Flowershop AU, Slow Burn, pining Shiro, PTSD, fluff, humor

Takashi Shirogane had fulfilled his dream of becoming a test pilot, but after a terrible accident that left him without an arm and in sudden need of a new career, he moves back home and starts working at a family friend’s flower shop while he focuses on recovering and finding a new direction for his life.

Things are going as well as can be expected until an attractive stranger shows up out of the blue, and keeps coming back. Who's this guy buying all these flowers for?

DDY 1138 | Complete | Ch. 3/3 | 7.2k | T | My favorite thing I’ve ever written

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, humor, meet ugly, disaster gay Shiro, smooth Keith

alternate title: Have you ever seen a man so beautiful you crashed your car?

Shiro learns that it's possible for the best day of your life to coincide with the worst day of your life in the dumbest way possible. He gets into a fender bender due to some distracted driving, and his cute mechanic doesn't make things any easier... until he does.

Hat Trick | Complete | Ch. 2/2 | 6.5k | E

Tags: Modern AU, Frat AU, Frat boy Shiro, Frat boy Keith, light angst with a happy ending, humor, crack played straight

No one has ever seen Takashi Shirogane without a hat on his head, or so the legends say.

...

“I tell you what,” Matt said after Keith told him he'd figure out Shiro's secret, the real secret. “If you find out the true story behind Shiro's hat before your initiation ceremony, I will personally pay your dues until you graduate.”

Keith's eyes glinted as he took another long swing from his beer. The steep price of brotherhood had been one of the few reasons he'd been wary about pledging. “What if I don't?” He asked suspiciously. It hadn't taken long to work out that Matt was an agent of chaos. No matter how confident he was in himself, he had to make sure it was worth the risk.

Matt smirked. “You have to wear a Santa hat to the Christmas party.”

Keith furrowed his brows. The punishment didn't add up with Matt’s smug look. His face paled as the realization dawned on him. “Just the hat?”

Matt's smirk shifted into an impish grin. “I knew you were a smart one.” He said with a wink, sticking out his hand. “Do we have a bet, then?”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Keith took Matt's hand and pumped it twice with determination. “You're on.”

Hey Sugar | Complete | Ch. 4/4 | 5k | G | I’m gonna rewrite this one soon rip

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, pining Shiro, disaster gay Shiro

Autocorrect can be a beautiful thing. It can also be a Very Bad Thing. Keith accidentally sends a text with an embarrassing autocorrect to the hot guy he's been crushing on all semester.

Check Yes Juliet | Complete | Ch. 2/2 | 2.8k | T

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, mistaken identity, Shirogane twins

Who knew a little Shakespeare knowledge could get you a midnight kiss from the hottest guy at the New Years party? However, young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes... Just ask Keith.

Melt | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.4k | G

Tags: AU modern setting or Post-canon, domestic fluff, established relationship

It's way too hot outside, and the AC is busted. Short and sweet domestic fluff featuring Spot the fluffy wonder and a trip to the store for some much needed ice cream.

Canon-Verse:

The way you looked at me | Complete | 17k | M

Tags: Amnesia, crack played straight, one sided fake dating, shiro is a mess, humor, fluff

Keith wakes up in the hospital and he's not sure of much, except that he and Shiro are definitely together. Shiro doesn't have the heart to correct him- much to their friends' amusement.

It’s not you, it’s me (also it’s you) | Complete | Ch. 3/3 | 7.5k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, pre-kerberos mission, humor, miscommunication, disaster gay Shiro, Matt is a Bad Friend

Keith catches Shiro doodling hearts in his notebook. When asked who the hearts are for, he blurts out Matt's name so he won't have to confess his feelings for Keith. Now Keith has made it his mission to help Shiro woo Matt at all costs. Matt is very unhelpful.

The Sweetest Apology | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 2.3k | Gen

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor

Everyone hates those tiny little desks every college feels the need to cram into huge lecture halls- they're way too small and there's never enough of the left handed ones. Keith thinks he scored big time getting the only left handed desk in his new class, but didn't realize he'd be stealing it from a classmate who's missing his right arm... How do you even apologize for that?

Not the right time | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 2.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, angst

fic request: Sheith and "It is always not the right time for us, isn't it?"

They've had so many chances to tell each other how they feel, but for Shiro and Keith it just never seems to be the right time.

Ringing in my ears and one on my finger | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.5k | T

Tags: soulmates, shiro is trying, fluff, humor

Canonverse soulmate AU: Colleen notices a soulmark on Shiro's finger... 

Head over heels | Complete | Ch. 1/1| 1.5k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, established relationship, fluff, humor

Keith's lost an entire Saturday to detention because Iverson is jerk. What better way to get revenge than a practical joke?

from the prompt "Shiro getting caught up in Keith pranking Iverson"

With a little help from my friends | Complete | Ch.1/1 | 1.4k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, pre-relationship, everyone loves Shiro, thirsty Keith

A malfunction in the engine room has left the castle a sweltering nightmare. Hunk has deemed it time for a team underwear party, but Shiro's nervous about his scars. His friends help him feel a little better.

p=mv | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.4k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, humor, meet ugly

The story of how Keith and Shiro met at the Garrison.

Or, the first time Keith saved Shiro.

Or, how a concussion led Shiro to the love of his life.

Or maybe it was all 3.

Love, Shiro | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.3k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, fluff, established relationship, humor, kerberos mission

Shiro and Keith decide to write each other letters while Shiro is away on his mission. This is a collection of some of Shiro's.

Getting there | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, hurt/comfort, Shiro whump, fluff

A lot of things changed in the year they were separated, but Keith's feelings aren't one of them. Shiro needs a little convincing after everything that's happened, especially with how much of an obvious physical toll it's taken. Keith is happy to oblige.

Just In Case | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, humor, fluff, established relationship, pre-kerberos mission

Shiro is accidentally late for a morning inspection because he spent too long snuggled up with Keith. His commander isn't super thrilled about it. 

Series: It’s killing me when you’re away | Complete | Works 4/4 | 4.8k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, Keith’s time in the desert, angst, pre-kerberos mission

Keith’s devastated over losing Shiro

Tumblr Drabbles

Sheith Month 2018 | Canonverse Pre-Kerberos | 20k | G-T

My collection of prompt fills for Sheith Month 2018. All of them are pre-kerb fluff and/or humor!

As Many Drabbles As It Takes | Mix of settings | 10k | Ch. 14/? | M

Collection of sheith drabbles and prompt fills originally posted on Tumblr!

Posted WIPS:

Series: Easier with you | Ongoing | Works 6/? | 15k | M

Tags: Modern AU, Veteran Shiro, Veteran Keith, hurt/comfort, PTSD, Mutual Pining, Shiro Whump, Shiro & Matt, Allura/Matt,

Shiro's just returned back from the military, having been medically discharged from service after losing his arm. Matt is his best friend and is trying his best to help him deal with the loss. He convinces Shiro to go to a VA support group that will end up changing his life.

Best laid plans | Ongoing | Ch. 1/? | 2.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, crack, humor, fluff

Was Keith proud of the fact that petty revenge was his first thought upon being given an amazing stealth suit? Not particularly. But was he going to let that stop him from enacting said petty revenge? Absolutely not. Turns out, Karma isn't so much a bitch as a… well, you'll see.

Or, how to attempt to counter-prank your buddy and end up stuck as a cat, a memoir by Keith Kogane.

We’ll fix it in post | Ongoing | Ch.1/? | 2k | T

Tags: Modern AU, Barista Keith, humor, mistaken identity, Shirogane Twins

Shiro is a producer on the hit animated show "Voltron: Warden of the Cosmos" and a huge fan of it himself. Keith is a new barista at the coffee shop across from his studio and a lover of his show. A fortuitous meeting leads them on the path to romance, but there's just one problem: Keith thinks Shiro is his brother, Ryou, voice actor for Keith's favorite character on the show.