#divorced amazing cheese

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Do you have any headcanons or information about the last super heros AU that you'd like to share?

I give you angst

-Amazo Guy's parents were heroes 20 years ago. His mom was the main hero and her dad was technically her sidekick but she treated him as a partner. They were one of the first heroes to die by Maddrix's hand.

-Steven didn't exactly know what his father was going to do that day. He just found notes and plans in Maddrix's lair that he had a plan to deal with all the heroes once and for all. Steven thought his dad was going to teleport them somewhere or make them immobile or take away their powers. By the time he was about to Alex about what happened, it was too late.

-Alex became Destructo Guy before being Amazo Guy as a way of coping with the loss of his parents and the trauma and pain he was dealing with. He didn't speak to Steven again until he was place in the villain rehabilitation (secretly making villains balance keepers) center.

-Alex never blamed Steven for what happened, he just had to get away from his painful past which included Steven.

-Steven did feel guilty for what he believed not being able to stop his father before he killed all the heroes, and slight regret for having to face his own dad and turn him in like that in spite of what happened. Steven was 17 and Alex was 18 or 19 when Maddrix killed all the heroes.

-Maddrix found out about his son's romantic interest in Alex and told the boy that there was no chance between them that Steven would always be a villain and Alex was stuck following the path of heroes.

-Alex was not yet a hero when Maddrix killed all the heroes. He just wanted to live a normal life for a bit before he became an adult. His parents were fine with that and they only helped him control his powers. Alex still contemplates whether it was a good or bad thing he didn't become a hero yet as he could have died as well but he could also have had a chance to save his parents.

-Dr. Two Brains felt his heart stop when Wordgirl arrived to save her dad and encountered Maddrix. He begged and pleaded for her to leave or go find someone else. But like her dad unfortunately, she was stubborn and refused to listen. They were both rescued by Kid Math and Amazo Guy. Amazo so badly wanted to pummel Maddrix right then but he knew he had to rescue Dr. Two Brains and Wordgirl first.

-Becky did not take the truth so well. She was upset that the people she looked up to her whole life, Steven and Amazo Guy, people she thought were good guys, were really just villains trying to keep the world in balance and never really strayed from their evil ways. She felt betrayed badly and it took a bit while to talk to her dad and Amazo again.

-While Dr. Two Brains was recovering from his injuries, Maddrix attacked Fair City trying to bring out Wordgirl and Kid Math so he could finish what he started all those years ago. The adult villains face Maddrix in order to protect Wordgirl and Kid Math from Maddrix as well as give the citizens some time to escape. Many were injured before they fell back in retreat. Granny May, Captain Tangent, The Coach, Invisibill and Big Left Hand Guy sadly did not make it, but they fought with valor and honorably to their last. It was a horrid sight that was live for all to see in Fair City.

@melodythebunny

@drtwobrainsstuff

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Yes to all the angst. Also picturing Chase vs Amazo Guy for the win for the ultimate angst battle.

@melodythebunny

@drtwobrainsstuff

@liloskull343

@beckface

Next gen x boxlietner's return

Hey fell asleep so haven't really doodles much. But imma explain A bot of how the boxliener's return au would work in my next gen verse. First off somethings would be different. Not the main plot very much. E.i. alien invasion, evil amazo guy, villains banning together to save fair city,wordgirl being poisoned with lexiconite. Since I'm adopting this au into mines (aka au within an au) I figured amazo guy would return sometime after Steven gets infused from squeaky and the next gen kiddos are born.

So all of them are there watching fair city turn into havoc. They manage to Evade being captured and hide out at word girl's secret hideout. Upset and scared they decide to find any more refugees and possibly their parents. Liam, rhea, (not counting wordgirl right now bc she's currently affected by the lexiconite) amazo lad has a better chance at Standing up to amazo guy. but at the end of the day they are still kids just trying to figure what they haystack is going on, where their parents are and  why the town's former hero is evil. So yea alot of responsibility on their shoulders now. 

Chase has the worst of it though. All this time he looked up to his fathrr, stroved to be as heroic as him and then years later hey he's back! But oh no he's evil. Makes the boy question alot. Has his father always been this way all along? What did that mean for chase??? He has NO clue where his dad is. Nor his mom, or his sister becky. He managed to find Blu only because Carrie hid her when the invasion started. Where she's at now well  -shrugs-

I recall @ninjastormhawkkat saying that amazo would try to turn chase on his side. Seeing how both of them were seemingly 'replaced' geez that is angsty...  Reasons why you guys should talk things out instead of assuming. Truth of it all (not surprisingly), Steven never intended to replace amazo. (Nor teressa, or chase)  he still very Much loved him when he disappeared. He never forgot him. every day he in hopes of amazo showing up alive and well. However since he harmed one of his kids....well  that just complicate things :,)

and then there is @liloskull343 's idea about amazo being brainwashed so also another plot point to be explored

-@drtwobrainsstuff

[the-froschamethyst4]

Ex’s and Oh’s

𖤐Paring: Ex Husband! Ghost x Ex Wife! F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐AN: Sorry, it has taken me so long to post this, I've been busy and struggling with writers block for a while, it was hard to think of a way to start this story and also trying to not make it boring as well. Anyways, I hope you all will enjoy the fic version of headcanon

𖤐Based On: ex-husband-simon

𖤐Warnings: fluff, smut, language, ex's to lovers, children, kissing/making out, more use of Simon, abusive relationship,

𖤐Summary: Divorce is hard, and Simon didn't know it at all, he loved his ex-wife and did everything he could to be there for his kids

————

————

Simon waits in the driveway for his kids, Silas the oldest child and Luna his youngest. He remembers this house his first house he's ever bought with his now ex-wife Y/n.

Y/n had given Simon divorce papers because she was always worried about Simon when he was away on deployment. When she was pregnant with Luna, she couldn't handle the stress.

He watches the front door open and his kids come rushing out, Luna hugging Simon's legs and Silas hiked his bags into the back seat of his fathers truck.

"Come on, kids," Simon says, he turns and sees Y/n in the doorway being hold by her new boyfriend, Duncan. Simon couldn't stand him.

Duncan just leeched off of Y/n. Her money, home, food, he didn't pay bills, he was basically a roommate. Y/n tried to get Duncan many jobs but he never lasted then 4 days.

That was all information from Silas and Luna.

Simon looks at his kids helping Luna into her car seat.

"Daddy, can we go to the Zoo?" Luna asked.

"Maybe next weekend," Simon tells her.

"But I wanna go today."

"Not today baby."

"Why?"

"Because...it's close for cleaning."

"The Zoo isn't closed," Silas jumps in.

"Yes it is," Simon says, looking at his son to be quite. At the moment Simon didn't have anything plan with his kids, he just wanted to relax with his children and help them with homework if they needed it.

"Daddy?" Luna looks up at him.

"Not today," he says again. He shuts the door.

"I'm sorry for the last minute pick up," Y/n walks to her ex-husband.

"It's okay.

Y/n had a meeting and she didn't trust...Duncan. Sure they're dating and all, but she trusts Simon a lot more than Duncan.

"I can't believe you asked him to do it...I'm surprised he even agreed," Duncan says, watching Simon pull out of the driveway. Duncan acts like Simon is a dead-beat father when he's not, Simon works and barely even gets to see his kids.

And Duncan doesn't even help out with the kids, the week ago, Silas needed to be picked up from football (Soccer) and Duncan "forgot" and Luna was home but locked out of the house and didn't know if anyone was home or not.

"What the hell do you mean? Simon is a good father, this isn't his first time picking up his children," Y/n says.

"But like...I'm surprised really," he chuckles.

"Duncan, he's not a dead-beat father," Y/n says.

"Sure, he is, sees his kids 40 days out of the year."

"He...works Duncan, unlike you," she says. "I need to get going."

"Can't believe you married that guy too, seems like an asshole."

"He never was!" Y/n stood up for her ex-husband but why? She's the one who gave him the divorce papers, why is she standing up for him? Because she still loves him.

Duncan was a distraction for Y/n, she still loved Simon, but couldn't bring herself to tell him that, she thought if she had a boyfriend maybe her mind will love him instead but it wasn't, she still loved Simon, and she'll defend him even if he doesn't want her to, she'll still do it for him.

Duncan also doesn't know he's a 'distraction' he thought Y/n did like him.

----------

Simon looks at his son and daughter in the rearview mirror they were eating their chicken nuggets or small cheese burger. They were hungry since Simon had picked them up around lunch time.

"How's everything?" Simon asked them.

"Good." Luna says.

"Amazing," Silas says.

"Good," Simon says as he starts to drive to his apartment complex.

Simon parked in his usual parking spot and he helps his kids out of the back seats of his truck. They head to the elevators and hit the 5th floor button going up.

Luna played with the toy she just got and Silas played with his. Once the door opened Luna headed to the apartment door and Silas walked with Simon holding his bag as Simon carried his daughters bag.

Simon opens the door and his kids rushed in going to their rooms grabbing more toys and dragging them to the living room that Simon cleaned just for them to mess it up again.

Simon smiles at his kids and jumps in to play with them, he jumps from playing Monster Trucks and Wrestling to Princesses and Pet Shops.

He likes to play with his kids, enjoying how they play and missed all times him and Silas use to play with each other, before Luna was born, he didn't play with her as much because of the divorce.

He lays on his back and Luna sits on his stomach, she pats his toned chest and was using his chest as a mountain for her Barbies to play mountain climber, he knew he had a big chest but he didn't think it was that big.

"Daddy, stop breathing it's messing with my Barbies."

"Baby, I can't just stop breathing," he chuckles which now causes his chest to bounce.

"Daddy," she groans.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop laughing, but I can't stop breathing," he smiles.

"Dad," he looks at his son, but he was looking at him upside down.

"Yes, buddy?"

"I don't like mama's new boyfriend," Silas says.

"You don't?"

"Yeah," Luna now jumps in. "He yells at us sometimes, even for nothing."

"Yelling at you? Are you sure it's just because you two might have...I don't know actually done something wrong?"

"Daddy, are you taking his side?"

"No, no, but-"

"No reason, dad," Silas says.

Simon sits up now holding his daughter so she doesn't fall and she slides down on his lap.

"I understand," he says, letting go of his daughter as she goes back to her Barbie's dreamhouse.

----------

9:00PM

His children had gone to bed now, and Simon decided to do something, something he's never done because it was never his business.

Duncan Matthews Age: 31 Height: 5'11 Job: Unemployed Criminal Background: DUI, 1st degree Stalking, Demotic Violence

"Goddammit Y/n...you're smarter than this," Simon groans.

Simon copies the link and pulls up his email, he was going to send it to Y/n. If she was unaware, which she's not, she wouldn't keep this guy around.

------------

Y/n was working late, she needed to get some files done and then she sees a notification pop up, it was from an anonymous email account.

She clicks it and then reading upon the email.

You're smarter than this with the screenshot of Duncan's police report attached to it.

She felt like she knew it was from. But she goes ahead and reads it anyways and then reading his charges.

*Ping*

Did you also know he yells at the children for no reason?

*Simon...what are you doing?* She thinks to herself.

Y/n then thinks of it, when she first brought Duncan home he was very rude to her children, but she brushed it off because sometimes her kids could be a little frustrating to deal with but she still loves them.

Duncan has also claimed that he didn't like kids and even though he knew about Y/n having kids still proceeded to be with her. Silas has brought up the fact that Duncan yelled at him and Luna a few times but Y/n thought was because they were doing something Duncan had told them many times to stop, so she brushed off again.

She now knows...she needs to listen to children more.

-----------

A Few Hours Later

Y/n was heading home now, she looks at her home from inside her car watching as the only light was on was the living room light, Duncan must've still been up.

She gets out of her car and locking it up and heading inside, she was right, he was still up, playing video games and yelling while he played them.

He was so annoying.

"Duncan, can you turn that off? It's almost midnight, and I have to go to bed to be able to get ready for work tomorrow," she says. She doesn't want to be up all night because of her dumb boyfriend always yelling at the games he play.

"Later, I'm not done-"

"Now, please," she cuts him off.

"Seriously? ALL I DO FOR YOU AND THIS IS HOW I AM TREATED!?"

"DO WHAT!? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB, I PAY FOR EVERYTHING! WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME!? YOU DON'T DO SHIT, BUT SIT HERE AND PLAY YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAMES AND I'M FINDING OUT YOU YELL AT MY CHILDREN!!! WHAT TYPE OF PERSON ARE YOU!?" She yells back.

*Smack*

A sharp pain stung on Y/n's right cheek, she holds her cheek, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

He just smacked her.

------------

A Few Days Later

Simon held his daughter and set her in her car seat. Silas buckled himself up and was ready to go back to his mothers house.

As Simon pulled into the driveway helping his kids out of the truck, the front door opened and he turns with a smile on his face ready to tell her how much fun his children had at his apartment, but he sees her face.

She looked upset, and then he sees a bruise over her left eye and a red mark on her cheek.

"Y/n?"

"Thanks for bring my kids back safely," she says, giving him a smile.

"Hey...are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me," she says.

"Hey," Simon then cups her face. She doesn't move, it was like she misses his touch and his worried face. "What...the hell happened?" He asks.

"He-"

"Oh finally you brought the kids back, how was it, rug rats?" Duncan asks coming outside and Y/n moves her face from Simon's hands.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?" Simon grabs Duncan and Y/n ushers her children inside to not witness whatever Simon is going to do to Duncan.

Simon grabs Duncan's shirt throwing him to the ground, Duncan let's out a groan when his back hits the concrete.

"SIMON!" He stops whatever he's about to do, and starts pushing Duncan down the concrete stairs.

"Get the fuck away from my family!" He yells and Duncan starts to scramble to his feet and run away from the house. Simon was breathing heavily to stop himself from chasing after Duncan.

Simon turns to Y/n and her children hiding behind their mom, they've never, never, ever seen Simon like this before, it was almost like they didn't even know him.

"Are you okay?" Simon asks, Y/n.

"Simon-"

"I know...I don't need to fight your battles for you...but when I saw you standing there with bruises on your body, I just lost control because I knew he was the one who didn't, you don't just get those from nothing," he says.

"You-I could've called the police!"

"Tell him to collect his things, I'll be here when he does show up. I don't want him near my children or you ever again."

"You're not my dad-"

"So, you want him to keep doing what he is doing?"

"No."

"Then call him and tell him to collect his shit, and I'll be here to make sure no funny business happens, do you understand?"

"Fine."

-------------

It was a week later now, Simon did what he said he'll do and he stayed in the house as Duncan and few of his friends gathered his shit and left, it was easy, a little too easy.

"Don't ever fucking come back, do not ask her for forgiveness, now fuck off, all of you," Simon says, slamming the door in their faces and he watched as they left the driveway.

"That was too easy, dad," Silas says as he stood next to Simon.

"I know..." Simon bends down to his son. "I want you to keep an eye on your sister and mother, anything happens, you call me or the police do you understand?"

"Yes, dad."

"I don't need protection," Y/n says.

"You do, if I'm not around," Simon says.

"Mommy, daddy, can we go to the park? It's nice out and I want to play outside," Luna says from the living room.

"Sure, come on, go get shoes on," Simon says. Y/n looks at Simon in a 'are you serious?' type of look, she wanted Simon gone, she wanted to spend her day with her children since Duncan was now gone for good.

"What?" Simon teases.

"Mama, are you mad at dad?" Silas asked, looking up at Y/n.

"No, no, I just...I just wanted to spend time with you guys."

"You can spend time with us, with daddy!" Luna yells coming down the stairs.

Y/n looks at Simon then down at her kids. Maybe, just maybe she'll let this slide once, she's only doing this for her children.

----------

Luna was going down the slide and Silas was at the bottom of the slides arms wide open catching his younger sister from falling onto the dirty mulch.

"I'm sorry, he did those things to you-"

"Could we not bring him up, please. I'm only here for my children, I'm not here...to be friends with you, Simon."

"I don't understand what I did for you to hate me?"

"I don't hate you Simon."

"Seems like it," he rests his chin on his palm.

"I'm just...annoyed...I'm not a Princess that needs saving every time I get into trouble, I can handle myself. It seems like every time you're over here, I'm somehow in trouble and you come to my rescue," she says.

"I know you're not a Princess, Y/n...and I don't mean to come to your rescue every time, but I can't just sit back and watch someone hurt you for no reason," he tells her.

"Mama! Luna is picking weeds again!"

"DANDILIONS AREN'T WEEDS!!" Luna yells at her brother while giving the brightly yellow flowers to Y/n.

"Thank you, baby," she kisses Luna's temple as her kids went back to play.

"I'm glad you let me come," Simon says.

"Again...I only did it for my kids."

"I know."

-------------

A month later now. Simon was waiting for his kids, Luna or Silas haven't said anything about Duncan in a while, or anything about Y/n since the park.

Simon sees his kids rushing out and Luna pulled on Simon's hand.

"What, Luna?"

"Mama, wants to see you," she says.

"Okay, okay, get in the truck and I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," she says as his kids get inside the truck he goes into the house.

"Y/n?" He calls out. "Y/n?" Once more.

"Upstairs," he goes upstairs and sees at the end of the hallway, her bedroom door open, he walks to the door, peeking through seeing her in a towel and she seemed like she was getting ready for work.

"Y-You wanted me?" He asks. Y/n turns and let's him in.

"Yeah, can you tell me which shirt would go great with my skirt?" She holds up a red button up and and black on, her skirt was just a plain black pencil skirt, black goes with anything, but why is she asking him? She already knows what will go good with the skirt.

"I think they both will look good with it-but why are you asking me?"

"Because...your opinion is a bit valid," she says, dropping the shirts.

"My opinion is valid?"

"Forget it," she says, she turns her back and Simon smiles, she was asking for his opinion.

Simon walks to her, his hands gently caressing her waist. She doesn't stop him, she misses his touch. It was always gentle and soft, he wasn't demanding for her attention or anything, he just wanted to know if his touch still had an effect on her, and it did.

He kisses her neck, earning a soft moan from her lips, her hand goes to his cheek to let him keep going. Y/n then leans back into his touch, his hands going to her towel and letting it lose and fall to the ground.

She turns and looks at Simon, his eyes roam all over her body, from her breasts and her perky nipples to her thighs that were squeezing together. She didn't cover herself up like she was embarrassed that he was staring at her bare body. For fuck's sake, Simon has seen her naked body before.

Simon picks her up and putting her on the bed, moving her clothes out of the way, he picks up her thighs and moving them against her chest, he leans down and kisses her lips.

His tongue along with hers dancing around, and soon her was messing the belt of his pants. He looks into her eyes almost like he was asking for permission. She slightly nods her head, allowing him to push himself into her, earning a soft moan from her lips.

He slowly rocks his hips back and forth watching her head go back against the mattress of her bed, her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to her chest and his kissed both sides of her breasts and then started to suckle on her left nipple while his hand kneads her right breast.

Simon starts picking up the pace her moans were loud now and with every thrust, her moans would go at a higher pitch. She missed this feeling of Simon being inside her. Duncan could never do what Simon does.

Simon looks down at her stomach seeing him just barely bulging from her lower stomach. He smirks and holds her face to let her look at him as he goes a bit harder now. Her nails dug into his arm from the pleasure.

"S-Simon." She moans.

"I know, baby, I know, you can come," he tells her, with a few more thrusts she ends up coming on his dick. He smiles and pulls out watching both of their cum mix together.

He goes down and starts cleaning her up, he then remembers.

"The kids! I need to get going," he says. "I love you, and I'll see you later, sorry for this all of a sudden."

Y/n smiles, he's so flustered, he's never been like that before, she rolls on her side to watch him leave, she gets up and starts cleaning herself up and starts to get ready for work.

She missed him, she truly did. She just hides it.

[your-nanas-house]

Rum, champagne and other excuses

◇ Pairing: Cillian Murphy X fem friend!Reader

◇ Warnings: fluff, sadness, smut, anger, trope friends to lovers, cheating, Cilly is divorced and Y/n in an unhappy marriage

◇ Summary: An unhappy married Y/n spends Christmas with her friend Cillian Murphy.

◇ Note: Another wonderfulllll collaboration with @mrkdvidal1989. Third fic of the new "event" 'From love to Love'. Go check it! 🥺

Ding, dong. The doll bell rang, and Y/n dried her hands with the kitchen cloth, so that she could fix her styled hair and Christmas dress before rushing quickly to the door, to let the guest in. She already knew who was standing outside in the cold. She could see in her mind's eye his silhouette, wearing one of his winter coats with his face hidden by the hood and his neck covered by a rich scarf.

As she walked to the front door, a smile slowly appeared on her face at the thought of his baby blue eyes being even more bright because of the reflection of the snow in them. His eyes really were her favourite place to seek comfort in, ever since their friendship developed. After some time, they were very close friends. The young woman stopped a moment to take in the sight in the mirror, she really tried her best and she didn’t even know why, but the way her hair were styled, the dress that hugged her mature curves was amazing, just like the soft make-up she put on just made her best features stand out in a soft but lovely way. She tried her best to look wonderful. 

Y/n’s hand wrapped around the door knob, twisting it before she opened it with a bright smile on her face.

“Just in time” she praised mockingly in a playful manner, opening the door wider and letting Cillian enter her house. Exchanging looks, they smiled as she offered to take his coat, hanging it on the hook. Without waiting she made her way back to the kitchen, knowing well that Cillian was more than familiar with her house. He wouldn't get lost or feel uncomfortable.

Y/n didn't wait longer than a couple minutes before the blue eyed man joined her, hands hidden in his pockets as he studied all the food prepared for them… a dish with sliced cheese catching his interest almost immediately.

“This looks amazing, Y/n” He praised with all honesty, smiling and showing off the dimples in his cheeks. As they started talking, Cillian started stealing the cheese from the topping, pretending to be innocent as she turned to reply, catching him red handed. Small, scolding yet amused smile creeping on her face involuntarily.

“Don’t worry, help yourself” she joked, earning a soft chuckle from him as he took more cheese from the dish, without worrying to upset her or ask for another clarification.

They looked at each other for a moment, both smiling slightly, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but a peaceful one… a special one, one that you can have with just a few people without feeling unease by the situation.

“Hope you’re hungry because there’s a lot to eat today” she broke the silence, giggling at her information as she showed and listed all the various options for the Christmas Eve dinner. Coming finally to the drinks by opening a cabinet of her house “So…” she started, searching “we have champagne.. and surprisingly.. rum,wine and.. beer” She listed, looking in his direction as she remained bent down. With her eyes fixed on the contents of the cabinet, she couldn't have noticed the way his eyes lazily travelled down her body, taking in everything he could before snapping quickly out of the trance, embarrassed by the urge. 

“Beer sounds pretty good to me” he replied, watching her rush to the fridge to take it for him “You’re lucky this time, I went to the mall in the morning to grab a few bottles of Guiness just for you” she smiled playfully, grabbing one from the fridge to pour it carefully in the glass, tilting it to the side, and letting the liquid slide along the glass of the tumbler, creating that way a lovely foam that reached the edge of the glass. Cillian sighed with satisfaction at the sight. 

”So classy” He commented with a cocked eyebrow looking at her, impressed. ”I still haven't ever met anyone that would pour Guinness better than you.” His tone of voice carried a hint of flirtiness in it, making Y/n’s cheeks turn pink. 

”Hey! Don't!” She chuckled, pointing at him with a warning. 

Cillian often would flirt with her purposely to make her blush, which was always an endless source of joy for him. 

”Alright, alright.” He replied, lifting his arms up in surrender. 

The conversation quickly took a turn on the new play that Cillian was starring in, written by Enda Walsh, their good friend that introduced Y/n to him, soon after his divorce with his previous wife.

Y/n was still sadly stuck in an unhappy marriage, her husband away from work probably busy spending Christmas with women he considered ‘hot chicks’. The women he always considered better. Prettier. Smarter. 

She didn’t mind though, after wasting all the tears on the bastard that would never change, crying her heart out at night, or even at Cillian's shoulder it had become normal. Something that didn’t hurt her anymore. Their marriage was already.. dead, after years of breaking, rotting away. Y/n spent enough time grieving it.

That’s the main reason because she allowed herself to become more attached to the sweet man that was standing in her kitchen, their bond strong and pure. Their friendship was one of the main reasons she survived the worst nights. 

“Is it just you and me?” Cillian asked suddenly and carefully, not wanting to upset her on that special night of the year, by addressing the situation she was in with her yet husband. 

Little smile appeared on his face as she replied in a light-hearted tone, her face remaining neutral, not bothered at all by his question. 

“Mhhm! Just you and me and… all this food” She added with a giggle, pointing at the counter before she started bringing everything to the living room “I made sure to prepare things that we could easily eat while sitting on the sofa, so we can watch a movie or.. just talk.” she hummed, preparing the coffee table.

The older man nodded softly, taking a seat on the soft, comfortable sofa, helping her set everything on the table before finally leaning back and relaxing too— his beer glass clicking against her own, a symbol of the beginning of their dinner.

”Cheers” He said, shooting her that cheeky smile of his. The one reaching his eyes. 

Y/n rolled her eyes with a giggle. 

”Cheers, Cilly.”

~~~

The evening passed smoothly, the food got eaten in less than four hours, and soon enough they were both sitting on the couch facing each other. Half a bottle of wine left from all the drinks they had. The alcohol was already working pretty well as they chatted away about everything and nothing. Cillian's eyes shone lightly, his cheeks red and lips stretched in a smile as he listened to the story. 

“I was around.. seventeen when it happened” Y/n giggled, barely containing her laughter “we went out for a family lunch, I was out with my grandpa and my siblings.. in a very nice place, you know those kind of cozy places that you just see and you’re like “fuck yes, I need to go there.”  We went there all together and this cute guy kept serving our table, he even stopped to talk with my grandpa” she continues, rambling about it, her eyes fixed on the ceiling “...and when we were about to leave, my grandpa moved his hand calling him over and trying to set a date between me and this guy, telling him that I thought he was cute and this kind of stuff” She giggled again, remembering that day “and he was all like “Yes, she thinks you’re cunt” she laughed harder due to the alcohol in her body before calming finally down, turning her head towards him to continue the rambling “the guy… the guy” she murmured, catching her breath while losing herself in his eyes. Cillian was resting close to her, his head on his fist as he kept listening to her without interrupting, his eyes staring at her in amazement… she was so beautiful when she looked like that, no worries, just rambling about life with pure joy in her beautiful eyes…. And he was leaning in now, his gaze shifting onto her lips, then back to her eyes, making her do the same automatically.

They both took a deep breath before Cillian closed his eyes, resting his forehead on hers, their noses brushed against each other in a tender eskimo kiss. Y/n was completely frozen, barely breathing at how close they were. The warmth from his body was making her feel even more drunk. She didn't dare to make the first move, but didn't have to wait for long as Cillian's patience suddenly ran thin.

”Fuck” He whispered before grabbing the back of her head, and pulling her face towards his, their lips connecting in a hungry, needy kiss. The tension that lingered around them for years suddenly finding an outlet. Y/n’s eyes fell shut immediately, letting him kiss her for a second before she tore away, shock written all over her face. Cillian's eyes were wide open at the realisation of what he did. 

”Look, I'm so sor-” He attempted to apologise, feeling badly for taking her signs wrong. ”I shouldn't have” he'd say, but out of nowhere Y/n’s hand grabbed the material of his shirt, connecting their lips again, while pushing him down onto the couch. 

Her body remained pressed against his, hands holding onto the fabric of his shirt while the kiss got more passionate— her tongue slipping in his mouth, exploring it as she hummed at the taste of the beer they had earlier.

Her body started to move unconsciously, making Cillian quickly grab her hips, his head tilting to the side reciprocating the kiss, then trying to connect their lips again, without success, as she moved away, keeping him down. 

Y/n broke them apart, moving slowly in a sitting position, her eyes staring at her friend’s desperate state, biting softly her bottom lip when she was his attempt. Her hands started to travel slowly down from his chest, reaching beneath his navel. With a few quick moves she managed to unbuckle it… Cillian’s breath getting heavier as she continued, now pulling them down with his help.

His pale freckled hands grabbed her hips again, sitting up before moving them down onto her smooth thighs. Brushing the skin just beneath the edge of her dress, before pulling it up carefully while looking her in the eyes, and as soon as he didn’t see any rejection in her eyes, her clothes were on the floor with his pants in less than a few seconds. He didn't waste any time, removing his shirt quickly as soon as Y/n finished unbuttoning it. The tension in his body was buzzing, making the erection in his briefs leak with precum like never before. Pulling her back down onto his lap, her clothed sex now pressing against him, making him hiss through his teeth at the sensation.

“‘M feeling like a teenager again” he breathed out through a soft chuckle, tilting his head back as soon as Y/n giggled breathless, grinding teasingly against him. “Fuck, fuck… Love—” he cursed, taking a hold of her hips to stop her movements, too excited to control himself.

Her eyes snapped back towards him, watching how his body shaked a bit and his grip tightened. “Did you….Did you just come?” Y/n asked, stunned, raising her body from his lap to look at the wet spot on Cillian’s grey undies, glancing back at his flushed and ashamed face. 

The actor tried to say something but she quickly shushed him with a hungry kiss, her hand slipping inside of his underwear, before grabbing his softening cock, pumping it while leaving wet kisses on his jawline down to his neck. Nibbling and sucking down on his Adam's apple, waiting for his cock to harden again, his cum helping her movements.

The woman stopped after a couple of minutes, watching Cillian’s body shake in pleasure and overstimulation, to move his underwear down his hairy and thick thighs, giving him a small squeeze before moving her head to the side; smiling softly when Cillian moved his hands down her hips, brushing the side of her thighs, following the lines of her stretch marks… pure admiration in his piercing baby blue eyes.

A soft sigh left her mouth as she got up slightly, rubbing the pink, leaking tip of his thick member against her entrance spreading the slickness before she slowly sunk down on his rock-hard cock, his eyes fluttering shut as his mouth hung open, his back arching as a low moan left his body. “Oh darling” he sighed in pleasure, holding her still so that he could get back his control and allow her to adapt at the new stretch. She hasn't had a cock inside of her for a while now and never one that thick. It felt so good, so fucking good, after the pain of stretching subsided. 

Y/n’s head lolled back as she grabbed his shoulders for support, sharp nail digging into his pale skin making him groan from the mixture of pleasure and pain. 

As soon as he started throwing her up and down on his shaft, the room filled up with loud moans, cries and whines that kept leaving her mouth, and which made it impossible for him to stop thrusting up to meet her halfway. 

Her body kept bouncing due to the thrusts of his hips, her hands reaching behind to free her round mature breasts from the restrictions of her bra, throwing it with the other clothes on the floor, allowing him to move closer. As soon as his breath fanned over her hardened nipples, the moans increased, becoming more high pitched, before she grabbed his head pulling it into her breasts. 

Without a second thought he started leaving wet kisses all over, sucking on her nipples while increasing the speed of thrusts. Y/n couldn't get enough of the muffled sounds coming from him, as she'd be able to come right there and then just because of it. 

”I'm.. I'm gonna…” She tried to stutter out as the knot in her stomach tightened, her walls clenching down on his cock so tightly, that his eyes fell shut and whine ripped out of his mouth as he mouthed on the skin of her breasts. 

”Fuck..” He breathed out, reaching for her clit, and rubbing quick circles on it while moving his hips faster, deepening the thrusts so much that his tip was softly nudging her cervix each time causing some pain and increasing the pleasure. 

Tears fell down her cheeks as her body shook, swallowed by the biggest orgasm she's ever had in her whole thirty three year old life, her eyes rolling her eyes back as she shook further, squirting on him. 

“Fuck, fuck” he cursed, letting a high pitched moan leave his mouth as he reached his own peak, shooting his load deep inside of her cunt. His baby blue eyes staring at their mixed fluids dripping down, wetting her sofa and their thighs.

Their deep breaths synchronise as they eyes locked, Y/n leaned slowly down, her bare chest pressed against his as she caught her breath. Breathing deeply and closing her eyes, the alcohol caused the sudden sleepiness that flooded her. 

After a couple minutes Cillian noticed it, and with a soft chuckle he carried her to the bedroom, laying by her side before he nodded off as well. 

~~~

As soon as Cillian opened his eyes, his arm involuntarily reached for Y/n that was supposed to be laying next to him, but his hand met only a cold spot on the sheets. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion as he ran hand through his hair, feeling a little hungover after the drinking and the mind blowing sex of the night before. His mood was great even though his head hurt a little bit. 

As soon as his vision became clear enough, he looked around the room, noticing Y/n pacing back and forth on the other side of the room, already fully dressed. Sitting up, he smiled.

”Merry Christmas, Darling.” Left his mouth with a thick accent, startling her. 

Y/n stood in one spot, frozen with an uncomfortable expression on her face. 

”Cillian..” She started off, shaking her head lightly as she hugged herself, trying to gather some confidence. He could see her defensive stance and bad mood right away, which got him worried. What happened? What did he do? Was it his fault?

”What’s wrong?” He asked, feeling uneasy, making Y/n sigh before hiding her face in her hands for a second, taking a deep breath before she straightened her back. 

”Cillian, we shouldn't have done that.” She said flatly, her face twisted in that distasteful expression, her eyes not daring to meet his piercing ones.

Seeing it Cillian's heart ached a little, as he processed what she just said. ”Wait.. what? Why?” He asked in complete confusion. The good mood that he woke up in disappeared in seconds. 

”Look, we just.. drank too much, okay? I'm married and.. and we're friends! Friends don't.. do that!” She stated, frustration showing clear as a day. Cillian shook his head in disbelief, not believing that his best friend was actually treating him like that. 

”Do what? Fuck?” He mocked out of anger, as he jumped out of the bed, picking up clothes from the floor as he started dressing up in a rush as the humiliation flooded his mind. ”You can lie to yourself, Y/n, but I've seen how you looked at me.” His tone was harsh, a feeling of betrayal blossoming in his heart. Buckling up his belt, he turned to face her. Taking a step closer, he leaned down being eye to eye with her. ”You wanted me as much as I wanted you, but sure. Blame the fucking alcohol and be the coward that you are right now. I'm out.” He spat out in anger, feeling foolish for believing that there was something special between them. Maybe she actually... loved him back. 

Before she managed to say anything back, he passed by her in the doorway without a word, leaving a path of the gorgeous scent of his cologne behind before she heard the front door slam shut. 

Fuck.

~~~ 

Y/n’s heart was beating like crazy, hammering against her chest as she kept jogging, her eyes looking everywhere to find the short man she used to call best friend before their argument.

After that morning, they didn’t try to contact each other again, and… she deserved it. She knew well why he remained silent and didn't contact her after the bad morning they spent together. Y/n had several days to think about everything, and it didn't take long to realise that.. she panicked. Sex with Cillian was the first time she ever “cheated” on her “husband” and first sex she had for many years. Pushing him away was a knee jerk reaction that she regretted as soon as she saw the betrayal and heartbreak in his beautiful eyes. 

But at this point, it was too late. At least that's what she thought, until she realised that… she wouldn’t be able to move on from him. Cillian was her home. 

After spending a week crying her eyes out and telling her husband that she’s divorcing, Y/n was determined. Determined to fix what she ruined with fear and panic, and let the love of her life know what she felt for him. 

The occurrences were still playing freshly in her mind, his words, her words… the look of pure sadness in his gorgeous eyes.

She was running miles when she finally spotted him, wearing the same coat he had on that night, he looked even smaller, his body all tense and closed because of the wind that was blowing around them.

“Cillian!” she screamed, running faster to catch up with him, her heartbeat now hammering in her ears “Cillian!” she repeated desperately, tears starting to cover her view, her head up and in his direction… distracting her from the street she was running on. 

A root was enough to make her stumble and fall down harshly on the ground, her hands trying to prevent any damage on her face, her heart was beating too fast and her state of panic didn’t allow her to realise that the man she was calling, stopped in his tracks and was now jogging towards her with a worried look.

“Fuck, Y/n! Are you alright?” he asked, reaching for her to check if there were any injuries, helping her carefully get up “Are you hurt? Do you feel pain anywhere?” he kept asking, his eyes studying her with worry. She just shook her head, hearing his voice, tears falling from her eyes as she moved closer, hugging him in desperation. More sobs and tears leaving her eyes.  

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” she continue to repeat in a soft tone, kneeling slowly down to hug his legs devastated “I didn’t mean a single thing, Cillian—” she sobbed, not letting him speak “I fucking want you too!.. No I.. I want more than a fuck” Y/n looked quickly at him, tears covering her view again “I-I want more.. I love you” she continued, grabbing the fabric of his pants tighter “I can show you, I even left Brian for you” she added quickly, staring up at him from her kneeled position. He knew how difficult it was for her to end things with her now former husband, so it kind of made him smile.

”Y/n, get up.” He pleaded, grabbing her under her arms and pulling her onto her feet. Looking up and down again to make sure she wasn't injured from the fall. 

Sighing deeply he thought for a moment about her words, eyes widening at the realisation. “You mean it?” he whispered, staring down at her with his piercing blue eyes. 

The woman nodded softly, trying to not let her bottom lip tremble. “Yeah” she whispered, showing that she wasn’t actually wearing her wedding ring anymore.

A breathy laugh left Cillian’s mouth as he nodded, his hands holding her face softly to be able to kiss her. 

He kept gifting her with small pecks on her lips as they kept whispering soft promises to each other of the beginning of a relationship, the promises to give the other what their previous partner didn’t want to give them, the promises of a happy life and pure, cruel honesty every time.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj @wife-of-magic-monkeys , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @mrkdvidal1989

[blitzsicedcoffee]

Stolitz Incorrect Quotes:

(cause the Stolitz brainrot never ends)

Blitz: Stolas!!!

Stolas: yes my dear?

Blitz: bring me toilet paper?

Stolas: you aren't going to use it as a rope and escape out the bathroom again are you?

Blitz:......no I have diarrhea.

Stolas: I told you that you're lactose intolerant!

Blitz: hey! I'm the least intolerant person you know!

Stolas: -_-

---------------

Stolas: So what kind of books would you want to read?

Blitz: Uhhhh the ones with the world in it?

Stolas: the Atlas?

Blitz: Bingo!

Stolas: like, the earth Atlas? Or Hell Atlas?

Blitz: Who's Atlas? Is that your dog? My dog is bingo.

Stolas: *facepalms* where did you get a dog!!!

--------------------

Blitz: One day I'm gonna marry you.

Stolas: Oh! Blitzy that would be amazing....

Blitz: *slides ring pop onto his finger and clinks his with Stolas's* and til the hellfires undo our souls, I do.

Stolas: Uhhh....I do?

Blitz: The blood pact is done.

Stolas: The...wait what??

----------------------

Blitz: Stolas look I taught my owl a trick! Peck!

Earth owl: *pecks the wall*

Stolas: *rolls eyes* yes, it's very smart.

Blitz: Pff bet you can't even peck.

Stolas: I! Oooh *chases him and the owl flies with him*

---------------------

Blitz: Aaaaand done! Finally. My tower of hot sauces is complete. That's one thing off my bucket list!

Stolas: What's next?

Blitz: The tallest tower of cheese!!

Stolas: of course. Why do I ask?

-----------------------

Stolas: Ugh this is completely unrealistic! Andre can't possibly think I'm going to give him time with the Grimoire as part of the divorce deal.

Blitz: just replace it with a fake.

Stolas: What?! But-

Blitz: Can he do magic from it?

Stolas: Well, not really. I'm not sure.

Blitz: Then give him a fake. No harm done, and it'll be funny.

Stolas: Hehe, your mind is something, Blitz.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

❤️

I love this so much AHHH!

🎶 web of lies I've told throughout the years

Do I regret any of them?

Of course I do, can't you tell by my tears?

Staring at the mirror I can only do as I condemn

A name that was taken, wasn't mine from the start

A new life I made myself from a blank slate

It felt ever so wrong, I knew in my heart

If exposed who knows what could be my fate

My heart breaks as trust is broken

Her words cuts deeper than any blade

Her eyes filled with hurt, louder than words spoken

Wanting to fix this yet I'm ever so afraid

Knowing I'm the cause of her pain

My actions affected her so greatly

Not an excuse but I'm quite insane

It's just been so much clearer lately

Committing crimes, devoted to villainy

This was the breaking point for her

For that I will take responsibility

I will prove myself, I'll make sure

Clear my friends name I've tarnished

Make my daughter proud of me once more

That ex of mine will watch, astonished

I will not stay down, faith I will restore

I will not allow myself to wallow in self pity

Father I will free you from your prison

Prepared we shall be, no matter how gritty

You always gave me encouragement and vision

Emotions can be a deadly tool in the right hand

I will be prepared as we head into the belly of the beast

Fighting my fears knowing fully well you'd understand

Our reunion will be emotional upon your release 🎶

@ninjastormhawkkat

[soft-persephone]

A Fresh Start 3

T // WC: 1.6k // masterlist // series masterlist //

“Hey,” MM said casually walking in with bags of food Monique told him to bring, “Where are the girls?”

These days instead of asking for Janine, he was asking after both her and her new friends Monice. The pair are now inseparable.

“Outside with the rest of the kids.” She smirked, pointing her head to the glass windows that gave an overlook of the backyard. Decorated with oversized picnic blankets, fancy plastic silverware and platters to match with the fanciest little snacks and pastries, a foldable table was to the side, filled with various drinks. “Apparently, a day at the pool isn’t enough.”

He smiled as he looked out, leaning against the kitchen counter.

The kids were running around and giggling, fully enthralled by whatever game they had made up. Evidence of food, or whatever was left of it were littered about on the highly decorated plastic platters filled with crumbs, empty boards, and a wooden board with a few stray pieces of cheese. The little sweaty blocks forgotten.

“If they all ate what are the burgers for?”

“You,” Monique pointed. “and her mostly.” You were passed out on the couch. From the slow rise and fall of your chest, and how loosely taught your face was pulled into something soft and smooth. . . peaceful.

He didn’t know much about you, but he knew about your brother. The unexpectedness of taking care of your child and battling whether or not you’ll lose a family member or not.

“You need to be careful.” Monique gave him a look.

His eyebrows furrowed.

‘What are you talking about?”

“Marvin,” she sighed with a hint of frustration. He wasn’t exactly sure why it was there, “How long have I known you?”

He wasn’t sure where this energy was coming from, but he knew when she was asking a rhetorical question. He looked at her expectantly, throwing his hands in the air to show his defeat and wait for her to respond.

“Just because we’re over doesn’t mean I don’t know how you look when you have feelings for someone? Hell, anybody might be able to tell by the way you look at her,” she said pointedly, “and I’m not judging.” She quickly added. “I’m actually really happy for you. It’s time you moved on too. I’m not sure what you're sitting on your hands and waiting around for, but it's obvious.”

He nodded. Her words were unintentionally digging. He wasn’t sure why, but they did.

“Monique, this is. . . She’s different. It’s different.” Fuck he sounded a mess. His words weren’t coming together. He didn’t want to have this conversation, least of all with Monique of all people.

“Just do whatever you did to get me. You're not a bad guy, Marvin,” she huffed out a laugh, “I’d say more but I’m the last person who needs to be singing your praises, and you don’t need anyone to either.” She smacked her teeth.

“We were different.” He shook his head. “It was just me and you back then, but now I’m divorced, I have a daughter who's amazing. . .shit job. . . . but it’s not me I’m worried about,” he looked over at you, still soundly asleep.

You’d been through enough. The last thing you probably wanted was something new.

“You need to be careful.”

“I know,” he huffed, “the thing with her brother, she’s now got a kid, her life’s been turned upside down and she’s grieving—“

“And the last thing she needs is your unresolved shit affecting what she’s already going through.”

“I know,” he said slowly, “that’s why I said that it’s different.”

“How? Because it was so easy for me to accept your bullshit?” She said with an edge.

He winced.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He apologized. There’s not much else he can say about it, conversation ending itself.

“Look, I’m not trying to fight with you right now–’

“And we don't have to. We’re not fighting.”

She gave him a look and he only raised his eyebrows.

“You can’t hide it forever.”

She didn't give him a chance to respond, making her way over to you. She rubbed gently at your back in small circular movements.

You opened your eyes with a frown. Your brows scrunched together before blearily falling into a neutral expression.

“What time is it?” you stretched.

“Food’s here.” was all Monique said, holding back a smile.

“You didn't wake me when the food got here.” you said pointedly, your voice starting to raise.

“It just got here, and I just woke you up!”

‘No you didn't!” your face pulled into a pout. “It smells cold. You did not wake me as soon as it got here!”

“It smells cold!” She laughed with a perplexed look, “How does food smell cold?”

“Don’t play dumb, Monique.” You huffed, making your way to the kitchen and carefully taking the bun of your burger as well as the cold toppings before putting the rest in the microwave, “it’s not cute.”

Beginning the process of getting your onion rings to put them in the air fryer, you finally noticed him. As smoke spreads across your face. It was the same smoke that always graced its features whenever you first saw him. It never failed to pull at his heart and pull the corners of his lips if not a bit more guarded.

Your warmth was intoxicating.

“Did you bring food?”

“You asked me too.” He said matter of factly with a smile.

“No I didn’t.” You smiled back, looking back at Monique, and then back to him.

“Yes,” he laughed, “you did.”

“You did.” Monique raised her eyebrows.

“I literally have no memory of that ever happening.”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.” Monique raised a finger.

“Eat your food before it gets cold again.” He stopped you from responding to that, knowing how you can get.

You playfully rolled your eyes.

“Leave me alone.”

“What are you so tired for anyway?” He asked, genuinely intrigued, but you couldn’t answer even if you wanted to, your mouth full.

“She’s been up since 2 AM, making the fanciest picnic feast for a bunch of soon to be third graders that don’t deserve it.” Monique answered for you, stealing an onion ring off your plate.

You mean mugged her and pulled up a fist like you were going to hit her, bust Monique only cackled at you. With a huff you sat at the island to eat.

You swallowed the food in your mouth with a frown.

“They do deserve it. Momo and Janine really wanted it and making some food and throwing a picnic blanket on the grass isn’t hard.” You said placidly.

“So pulling Momo out of bed at 2 AM to be here by 3:00 to cook up until 7:00, still decorate the yard, get Momo dressed, and then clean the kitchen,” she listed each in a finger, “ is not hard work?”

“No you shook your head with a smile, “I mean I guess it is, but I like making Momo happy. It doesn’t feel like work when it’s for her.”

Marvin noticed your smile was not as genuine as it was before. How your shoulders were slightly tense as you shrugged them. Your eyes glossed over briefly with a terse gaze, squirming slightly.

To anyone else you’d look fine, but he had a trained eye. He didn’t know you well enough to say something about, but it was getting harder and harder to pretend like he didn’t know something was off with you. He’d usually be on his game about that, but everything about you threw him off.

He ignored the way Monique looked at him because even if she couldn’t notice something was off with you, she knew how to tell things were off with him.

“There’s nothing wrong with going above and beyond for your kid. It’s natural,” he phrased, licking his lips, “but you still need to take care of yourself. You’re just as important.”

“. . .yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll do better at that.” You purse your lips. “For the school year.” You ended definitively, strategically ending the conversation.

He wasn’t having any of it. Opening his mouth he was going to push back. Confront you on your answer and insist you not way so long even if the school year was weeks away at this point. Perhaps just one month away would be more accurate, but Monique gave him a look.

He’d have to talk to you about it alone.

Whenever that would be, he didn’t know. He bit back a sigh. Not wanting to let you know something was up.

You were practically done with your burger, a few bites left, but you’re eyes were fluttering shut. Your fist propping up your head.

“You’re staying here tonight, aren’t you?”

“Why would I do that?” You questioned like it wasn’t obvious.

“You can’t drive home in the state your in.” He scolded, “you can’t even stay awake to eat your food.”

“I’m done eating!” You waved a hand at your plate. “Maybe I was just resting my eyes!” You defend with an actual roll of your eyes.

“Well you can keep resting them on that couch over there for the night.”

“No,” you defiantly stood up and crossed your arms, “I’m going home!”

“I don’t know how you’re getting there since your not driving, and I’m not taking you.”

You huffed, turning towards Monique.

“He’s right.” She gave you a look, much kinder than how you’ve been looking at him the whole time he’s been here.

“Ughhh,” you groaned going back to the couch and aggressively lying down and pulling the blanket over you, “leave me alone, and don’t wake me up,” you huffed, “I’ll wake up whatever time I want to tomorrow and I don’t want to hear anybody complain.”

[chaoticm0therfvcker]

Hollyberry Cookie Headcanons

In game

She knows how to make her own berry juice. Wildberry has tried to restrict her a few too many times so now she just makes her own

She’s really close with all of the dragon cookies. Pitaya introduced her to the rest of the dragon fam and they all kind of view her as part of the family

She babysat Princess Cookie a lot when Princess was younger, and that’s why Princess is so bold and chaotic

After Tiger Lily went missing, Hollyberry spent weeks searching through the kingdom and the surrounding jungle trying to find her granddaughter

She does her best to visit her friends in their other kingdoms, though the only ones she’s able to visit are Pure Vanilla and Dark Cacao. She’s got a lot of experience going on high stakes adventures, so as long as she has climbing gear and an extra insulated, extra puffy, full-on “I can’t put my arms down!” Jacket, she’s got no problems

She has a lot of survivors guilt being the only one in her friend group without excessive trauma. Sure, she as a dragon ex who she got to see almost burn a village down and a missing granddaughter, but that’s barely anything compared to all the crazy stuff her friends have been through

Her and Golden Cheese used to go on adventures together as kids. They’re both practically immune to high heat, so it’s no wonder they stuck together

Modern au

Her and Pitaya are exes, but they fake flirt so much that if people didn’t know that they were divorced, they would think that they were dating or married

She teases Wildberry for having a crush on Crunchy Chip. Obviously not enough to make him self conscious, but she can’t help but tease him for how he goes from this deadpan tough guy that’s almost as intimidating as Dark Cacao into a total giggly and smiley mush ball whenever Crunchy Chip is around

Since Golden Cheese is ace-aro, her and Hollyberry fake dated throughout high school to keep bigoted assholes away from Golden Cheese

She hates wine snobs with a burning passion. She’s able to appreciate a good glass of wine, but she appreciates it for the taste, not for the “aromatics” or “how well it can swirl around in a glass”

She’s secretly an art nerd. She took a ton of art classes throughout middle and high school and took an art history class with Pure Vanilla

Her room is full of random plushies and video game figurines. She can barely fit in her own bed from the sheer amount of stuffed animals she has on her bed

She has the biggest house and the biggest family out of her friend group, and she has a lot of dinner parties with her friends and her family. She even has a special place for the kiddos so they don’t have to be stuck with random babysitters

She’s not a very good chef, but she is an amazing baker, and she’s really good at decorating cakes. She makes almost all of the birthday cakes for family birthday parties

She can speak fluent Italian and Spanish

Let me know if you have any other headcanons!

Taglist: @janayuga @katsunemillennium @trustymikh @tartelongan @cedric-my-beloved @c00kietin

[rrcenic]

in the honor of my marvel obsession creeping back to me + my family being in disneyland and exploring avengers campus, have some ✨avengers incorrect quotes✨ as things my friends and family have said

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

-

peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

-

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

-

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

-

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

-

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

-

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

-

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

-

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

-

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

-

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

-

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

-

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

-

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

-

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

-

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

-

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

-

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

-

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

-

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

peter: duh??? did you just realize that???

[deadpresidents]

How accurate is this?

I think they have most of the Presidents in the right spot, but there are a couple of massive mistakes. Gerald Ford and Franklin Pierce should actually be in "Life of the Party".

Franklin Pierce was one of the most popular people in Congress because he liked to drink and party so much. He basically had to quit politics because his wife hated how much fun he was having -- and when she found out that he had been nominated for President after he secretly allowed his supporters to float him as a candidate in 1852, she fainted. He didn't become emo Franklin Pierce until after all his kids died (which, to be fair, can be a downer) and his wife started believing that God took them so that he wouldn't be distracted from his work. That was a marital argument that he had a hard time winning once he got elected President behind-her-back and their last surviving son was killed in a gruesome train accident right before his inauguration. But back in his Congressional days, he was a blast.

Gerald Ford was always the most popular guy in the room whether it was in school, in a football locker room, on a ship in the Pacific Ocean in World War II, in a law office, in the House of Representatives, or in the White House. Nobody had anything bad to say about Gerald Ford when he died, and that was a pretty amazing accomplishment for a lifelong politician who lived until he was 93. And if you don't think Gerald Ford knew how to party, don't forget that the world's most famous substance abuse rehabilitation facility was established by and named after his wife, Betty.

Ronald Reagan was great on television and he was devoted to his wife, Nancy, but he was not the life of the party. His first wife, actress Jane Wyman, divorced him partly because of that. While he was genial and good-natured and good company, there are many, many stories of "friends" who had known him for decades being shocked when he would come up and introduce himself as if it was the first time. There was always a distance and intense privacy to him according to his biographers.

I love John Adams, but he himself would be offended if you said he was "somewhat fun." He was a grumpy and serious genius.

Benjamin Harrison's nickname was "the human iceberg," and that should probably be its own category. James K. Polk belongs in that category with him because as writer Charles G. Sellers wrote, "Politics had become his whole life aside from which he had no aspirations, intellectual interests, recreation, or even friendships."

Andrew Jackson did have a giant block of cheese at his Inaugural reception, but he also ditched the party.

[bibiwrld]

The Sweet Babysitter🧁🎀| Miguel O’Hara

previously: –three.

–four.

KENEDI’S POV

I sighed coming out of the relaxing hot shower. Today was a long day, as my boss’ nephew visited the company for some important meeting, and refused to leave after the meeting was done. So I was told to “keep him company”, which was basically him flirting with me and me saying “mhm” while answering endless calls.

With the towel wrapped around me, I walked to the guest room. Checking my phone to see it was 3:50, I had exactly 10 minutes before Gabriella arrived from school.

After drying off and lotioning my skin, I put on the clothes I brought with me. A plain light green halter top, a denim skirt that stopped mid thigh and brown slippers.

I sat on the bed and called Miguel. I bit my lip in anticipation as it rang.

“Kenedi.” He answered with a strong bass in his voice.

My knees pressed together. “Hi Miguel, just wanted to let you know that I’m at the house, thanks again for letting me use the shower.”

“It’s really no problem, you’re welcome.” He replied.

I began twirling my braids. “Is there anything Gabriella loves to eat when she gets home from school?”

He responded almost immediately, I found that so cute. “Grilled cheese and chocolate milk. She loves the crust, so you don’t have to cut them off.”

I smiled. “Got it, anything else I should know?”

“The emergency money is in the little dish by the tv counsel, Gabby knows how to bathe herself, but if she might ask you to do it for her.” He chuckled to himself. “Also when I get home we can discuss your pay.”

“Okay, thank you Miguel.”

“No problem, see you later.”

I hung up and made my way downstairs and I heard a knock at the door. I opened to see a sweaty Gabriella.

She grinned and walked in. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

I closed the door and went into kitchen, opening the fridge. I awed at her words, feeling all warm inside.

She put her lunch bag on the kitchen island.

I scanned the fridge for ingredients I need. I looked back at her. “You hungry?”

She nodded with a grin.

“Okay, I’m gonna make you a grilled cheese with chocolate milk.” I pulled out a bag of sliced bread, a slice of cheddar cheese and butter.

Her brows rose and mouth opened in somewhat shock. “How do you know those are my favorites?” She gave a smug smile then pointed a finger at me. “My Papá told you.”

I giggled. “That’s not true at all, it’s magic.”

Her eyes brightened. “You’re a magical princess!”

I twirled around the kitchen laughing. “Yes I am.”

She watched me in amazement.

I stopped twirling and leaned on the kitchen counter, looking at her. “If you take a bath and come back down your favorite foods will be here waiting for you.”

She perked up and raced upstairs with her backpack on her back. “I’ll be back!”

🎀

Gabriella was such an energetic kid and she’s so fun to be around. We played princess and had a little tea party after she showed me a pink poofy dress that she adored so much.

I made her French fries and chicken tenders, I tried to make them dinosaur shaped, but they looked like blobs to me.

She fell asleep on the couch whilst we were watching My Little Pony. After carefully carrying her up to her room, I scrolled through my phone waiting for Miguel, as it was quite late.

Speaking of Miguel, the door opened to reveal him. His tall stature was in a crouched position, his eyes were quite tired.

His expression changed and posture straightened when he saw me, giving me a heart throbbing smile. “Good night, Kenedi.”

“Good night.” I loved the way he said my name. “You look quite tired, do you need anything?”

He rubbed his left eye and sat across from me. “I’m okay. How was she today? Was she good?”

I nodded. “Very fun, no problems at all. She’s sleeping right now.”

He sighed in relief with closed eyes. “I always thought the divorce would somehow get to her, making her lash out maybe, but so far there’s been nothing.”

“She’s probably still processing it, she’s a very smart girl.” I told him, leaning forward.

He hummed and breathed out. He looked exhausted, resting his head back with closed eyes. “You’re probably right, but I think I should explain it to her.”

My eyes scanned him while he wasn’t looking. His chest hair was slightly exposed from 2 buttons being unbuttoned. “I agree.”

His pink lips were pressed together, upwards to the ceiling, his necktie slightly loosened, sleeves rolled up, displaying his hairy arms. The way his chest rose and fell should be criminal, as his muscles tightened around his clothes when he inhaled. His large hands were veiny— was he even tensing?

What would they feel like around my delicate neck?

I unconsciously bit my lip and put a hand on my thigh.

These thoughts I’m having— my goodness is this a crush???

I’m so shameless. Here I am ogling this tired man while he talks about his daughter and his divorce, and I’m wondering how many seconds it would take him to make me cum with those rough, large fingers of his.

I blinked and rubbed my head, trying to collect myself. “Miguel?”

“Hmm?” He groaned.

Was he sleeping?

“We have to discuss my pay, Miguel.” I spoke in a small voice.

Light snores were his only response. Wow, he was really tired.

I got up curiously, staring at his sleeping body.

He’s even more beautiful when he’s sleeping.

I internally sighed.

I can’t leave him down here.

“Miguel.” I tapped him. “You have to go to your room.” I lightly shook him.

He stirred around and lifted his head to me, his dark eyes meeting mine.

My heart banged against my chest. “Y-you have to get up.”

He sat up and rubbed his face. “Did I fall asleep?” A hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“Yes, but it’s okay. I understand your exhaustion.” I assured him. “I’ll help you up to your room.”

He leaned up then rose to his feet, grabbing his work bag. “Gracias, hermosa.”

I don’t think I know what that second word means, but I’m hoping it was something good. I aided to his side as he walked up the stairs. My arm rested on his lower back, his larger arm over my shoulder as I rested my hand on it.

I could combust on the spot.

We finally made it to his room and he left my side and lazily walked to his bed, leaving me at the doorway.

He dropped his bag on the floor and sat on his bed, loosening his necktie and taking it off.

My body began heating up at the sight of him undressed himself. He was now unbuttoning his shirt— does he know that I’m still here?

I looked down. “Um..uh..goodnight, sir.” I glanced back up and he was looking at me.

“I’m sorry, I forgot you were there.” He apologized. “My mind’s all fuzzy.”

“It’s okay.”

He gave me a lazy smile. “Thank you and goodnight. Drive safely and text me when you get home so I know you’re okay.”

My eyes grew a little wide. “Uh yes, but you might be asleep when I text you.”

He replied with a grogginess in his voice. “I’ll try to stay up for your text.”

I smiled to myself. “Okay, thank you. I’m going now, I’ll lock the door.”

And with that I left.

I locked his door with the key he gave me and left it under the plant pot.

After arriving home I texted him immediately, biting my thumb and waiting for his response.

Miguel

See? I waited

Sleep well <3

My whole body grew warm at his text.

I’m crushing on a divorced, 30 year old man with a daughter.

🎀

Next part: –five.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

I forgot if I told you about this silly ship. Eris and Victor. They met when Eris was in the middle of her prank. He didn't seem impressed at first until he told her "no, you're doing it wrong. You have to do it this way if you really want to get him"

Two-Brains keeps finding goat cheese mixed into his cheese stash. He doesn't know which one is which either so it's Russian roulette 😂

He joins in on the pranking. You see, Eris isn't like Athena at all. She genuinely cares for others. Especially little ones as she is a kindergarten teacher. And Victor is a toy maker. So they seem like a good match. Two-Brains doesn't care that they're seeing each other its the pranking he hates.

Eris also pranks Amazo Guy. A similar trait she does have with Athena. She is petty. But in a pranky way. Nothing malicious.

She understands why they took her to jail and scared her so badly but they still scared the living daylights out of her.

I dunno if WordGirl would warm up to Eris though as she looks identical to Athena.

Your thoughts?

Ooo I love the ship idea. Yes for Big bro and his new girlfriend pranking his younger bro.

As for Becky, it is like with Janus and Apollo. Becky knows that Eris isn't Athena and is nice, but is still traumatized by Athena so she hides behind her dad and stays with him until Eris leaves. She doesn't mind hanging out with Eris, just as long as she is not alone with her and near any lab stuff. It takes a while for Becky to not hide when Eris comes around and a even a bit longer to just talk to her. She still remains by her dad's side though

Also how would Joe react to Eris?

@drtwobrainsstuff

[literaryoblivion]

Abandoned WIP-Sterek

As stated before, this is an abandoned WIP snippet. I’ll tag them with #my abandoned WIPs to organize it. If you see any and are so inspired by any of these to either create your own or finish, PLEASE tag me! I’d love to see if someone was able to take it and run with it since it stalled out for me.

Older Single Dad Derek goes back to college, where Stiles is his professor.

No writing but here's the idea: Single Dad Derek Hale deciding to go back to finish his degree and taking classes from newly minted professor Stiles and like maybe Derek's kids get sick but he /can't/ miss class so he sends a desperate email to Professor Stilinski and Stiles is like, it's fine. I didn't know you had kids, but it happens I get it. And somehow Stiles offers to come over and give Derek an overview of the lecture and the notes. AND obviously he wants to spend more time with Prof. S, because damn, he's just so amazing. XD and let's just say they actually live nearby each other and start seeing each other at the grocery store or the park. And Stiles sees Derek's kid as well, who he obviously falls in love with! OF course. But actually I was thinking Derek had like 2 or 3 kids...like Isaac and Erica… And maybe at one point he can get a bit overwhelmed, trying to combine it all, and Stiles can be there to support him! and meanwhile Stiles is like I shouldn't become so attached to a student especially since it's his first official year, but he's kind of falling for Derek so hard, and Erica calls him Batman which is awesome, and Isaac shows him his scarves and he's like damnit this is so far from staying professional, I'm going to get fired.

Deaged Derek & Stiles: What if Derek and Stiles got deaged and Scott has to take care of them and like bb stiles gets bb Derek to go sneak off and mess things up and bb Derek tries to resist but he likes stiles so much he ends up going along with it and they disappear and Scott has to go find them and they are in the woods asleep wrapped around each other

Next time, Scott is going to insist that Stiles and Derek wait for him before just barging in. He’s the alpha for crying out loud! A courtesy heads-up text about a possible witch lair is not enough. Of course he can’t tell either of them that now because they are naked and running away from him. Oh, and they are also babies. “I’m not a baby; I’m five!” Stiles shouts, holding up his hand with his fingers splayed to show with his fingers how old he is. He’s even stopped mid-run to turn around and make an angry face at Scott because how dare he think he’s a baby. Derek’s a little farther back from Stiles, not realizing Stiles had stopped running, but he is slowly walking back to stand next to Stiles. He leans over to see Stiles’s indignant face and tries to mirror it, crossing his arms across his chest before muttering, “And I’m seven.” Scott sighs, “Well I guess that clears up how old she turned you guys.” Scott holds up his hands as he steps closer to them, hoping they don’t take off running again. He might be a werewolf, but chasing after little Stiles and Derek through the woods has taken a lot out of him, and he doesn’t want a repeat performance.

Sterek Week theme involving crayons: wisteria, brown sugar, grand canyon, heat wave, macaroni and cheese. Basically Derek goes with Laura and her kids to the grand canyon and Stiles is their tour guide.

Derek wants it known that he did not want to go on this trip in the first place. BUT because he’s a very kind, giving, generous brother and amazing, wonderful, terrific uncle, he agreed to help out his recently divorced sister take care of her two sons and one daughter on a much needed family without that cheating, lying, bastard of a dad vacation. He could tell his sister really needed to be away, and quite frankly so did his niece and nephews, and there was no way Laura was going to be able to handle hiking/riding a donkey down the Grand Canyon with all three of them by herself. And, he had the time, had just gotten over a disaster of a relationship himself a few months back, and so he said okay. Plus, the pleading look Laura had given him after she told him about the trip was enough to get him to agree too. It was a vacation they all needed, really. But now that he’s here, riding a donkey named Wisteria, in what feels like a heat wave because he is sweating bullets with the sun beating down on him, he’s regretting agreeing to go. And the fact that their tour guide is sitting pretty (literally, he’s gorgeous) in front of them and Derek can’t help but stare at his ass (not the donkey) while they slowly make their way down the canyon.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Yep though it may lead to Jenkins knowing more about Steven's love life then the guy is emotionally prepared for. Steven ends up ranting/feeling guilty over his other human and non human exes.

In real life there are places where people go to relieve stress through violence. I don't know what they are called but people pay to go to places where they can break stuff with mallets and hammers as much as they want to. Maybe try that for Steven.

@drtwobrainsstuff

I know we have the boxleitner's return for the mousebraingirl au, but I love to imagine how Jenkins will be in the divorced amazing cheese version of the mousebraingirl au. He probably play mediator between Steven and Amazo while wondering how his mentor was able to date aliens in the first place.

Ooo he would probably try his best to mediate between them.

Trying his best to keep the peace but that's sadly how it never goes. Probably lol.

He would wonder but also think that it makes sense as well.

What if Jenkins found a way to let Steven vent his frustrations out when it came to Amazo? Figuring out exactly what buttons to push to get him to let it out and take some stress off of Steven since he could let off steam about it.

[stevie-petey]

hiiiiiii m! read s2 ep2 and i LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! <3 i actually am so relieved that steve reader friend divorce era is over......idk why but friendship breakups make me sadder than actual romantic breakups, partly because friendships themselves are so selfless and sort of by design the least selfish, or self interested you can be, with the benefit just being "we get to hang out!". i'm fascinated that steve forgave her so quickly as well, maybe because he's in a vulnerable spot right now (???), but i really did enjoy that reader was willing to make amends instead of sort of just digging an emotional hole for herself and exaccerbating the problem. i'm excited to see if she'll be as proactive down the line when things get more serious between them.

the way you handle nancy is interesting. i'm glad you don't shy away from reader being jealous of nancy and the attention of johnathan and steve and being pretty and rich, which omg, can drive full grown adults crazy, so why wouldn't a teen girl feel it, but also see nancy as like a full person? i also really appreciate your/reader's willingness to see both sides of the conflict, at least so far. a lot of people, from what i've seen, seem to view that night as a very traumatic night for steve where he got his heart broken, and that's true! it is! but it's also a night where nancy got blackout drunk from survivor's guilt that everyone around her told her to ignore in favour of just forgetting everything she experienced. that would make anyone upset! she probably does feel like her relationship is bs if it's main priority is not allowing her best friend's parents to find peace and move on! anyways, what i'm saying is that it's nice to have a realistic yet emotionally mature main character, and one who is so because they themselves are emotional and very in tune and self aware of them and others, instead of for just like, the plot vaguely, or because of modern sensibilities, no it's just an established and consistent part of her character, which is hard to do and it's so cool that you do it so well near constantly!

but i really was cheesing a lot like it just felt like a classic early 2000s CW show which is the high i'm constantly chasing. one tree hill season 1 episode i think 13 college party was very much the vibe i was getting. i should have been wearing cheetah print and leather and listening to the strokes as my friends convinced me that local basketball player was really the only guy who ~gets~ me. "i'll be" by edwin mccain plays in the background as we make eyecontact from across the room. you set the vibe, is what i'm trying to say.

billy was weirdo and creep and i'm happy he was acknowledged as such!!! not kidding when he came up to the reader i was also uncomfortable and it just had that very deeply horrible frat guy energy that makes every person subjected to it feel very objectified, and i think it's even more interesting that this is, from what i remember, one of the first time someone's shown outright interest in her, so i can imagine that that makes it even worse. i also sort of like the set up of johnathan defending her and steve holding him back, feels very much a great physical example of their position so far, with both johnathan playing a larger role in her life, as well as maybe signalling that johnathan's role as her protector, friend, confidant, all that is now passing onto steve's "hands", as steve's quite literally holding him. idk if that's too much i just had fun! and steve's final thoughts. my god. what an oblivious young man. the immediate jealousy and awe he feels.....his willingness to forgive....her promise to him as he confesses........both very moving and also amazed he hasn't realised his own feelings yet and excited that it will take him longer to do so. them making the promise together especially was so good, and such a good parallel to the one she and johnathan made in s1, and i'm excited to see if steve and r are able to uphold it better than johnathan was and how it'll serve to highlight the differences in their relationship.

very lengthy so my apologies, have a nice day and looking forward to ur next chapter!

hi angel !!

u touched on something SO BIG and i loooove discussing it: steve forgave reader so easily. and YES it was a bit ??? but later itll make sense. overall weve seen that steve just so genuinely trusts readers intentions with him, he never doubts her honesty and hes been pulled towards her since day 1, so of course he immediately was like “oh yeah we can be bffs again <3”. HOWEVER ,,,, this will play a huuuge role later (next chapter i believe). we’ll get more insight and steves vulnerability that night also def helped

and nancy !!! yes !!! i had to rewatch her scene with steve in the library a million times and i just felt horrible for them both. they want to help each other, and as ive said before about jonathan and reader, steve and nancy take care of people in opposite ways and it makes them clash. nancy wants to be proactive, steve wants to be more on the down low and tend to those he has already. hes accepted and moved on, nancy has moved on but hasnt accepted.

and as for the jonathan n steve scene i originally had jonathan holding steve back, but honestly it didnt feel right. jonathan, as much as he sucks sometimes, will ALWAYS be the first to defend y/n. every time he will. steve will too, but jonathan has that spot rn and hed rather die than let her get hurt </3

as for billy ,,,, so incredibly excited to flesh out his dynamic with reader. it wont be romantic in the slightest, but reader will have some insight into billys homelife due to max, and u bet she’ll use it against billy.

and im SO HAPPY the party scene felt real <333 thank u for the lovely asks i adore dissecting my chapters with yall its my <3333

[randomfoggytiger]

MSR Fic Tropes

Scully is The Ice Queen

Mulder was hated even in the VCU (in canon it wasn't until he rooted himself in the basement.)

Scully is shocked anyone thinks she's beautiful because Melissa was always "prettier."

Mulder married and divorced someone before his relationship to Diana (or concurrent to their early partnership.)

Scully is a bad cook (in canon she baked the Christmas dinner in Beyond the Sea, which Maggie complimented her on-- "delicious as always".)

Mulder was beaten as a kid by his abusive father (which I would argue is not canon-- slapping, yes, spanking, yes. Assault? No.)

Scully always "sighs, letting her eyes slip closed."

Mulder HATES hospitals: he is always allergic to the first pain killer he is given, always has a hidden secondary injury that is worse than the original one, and is always uncooperative and sabotaging to medical staff in his petulance. (In canon he's very pleasant to hospital staff-- Folie a Deux, Kill Switch, Signs and Wonders-- and only lashes out when he's panicked about Scully-- One Breath, Memento Mori, Redux II, etc.)

Scully refuses to tell Mulder "I love you" or commit to anything other than a casual relationship because she's a commitment-phobe (in canon, she starts the family planning discussion in Home and the motel cheese reception in Detour, and the "get out of the car" in Dreamland, etc.)

Mulder had a childhood dog growing up, or Samantha had a cat.

Scully's Katherine comes from her grandmother or great aunt.

Mulder would have become a child psychologist if he didn't go into the FBI.

Scully frequently has body dysmorphia or self-esteem issues.

Mulder is described as a puppy (no joke, I've been collecting every time he's referred to as puppy in fic... it's 17 pages long. Doesn't seem a lot... but it's a lot.)

Scully whispers. About. Everything. (I've also been collecting sentences in fic when Scully has whispered something... it's 113 pages long. And growing. Look for whispers-- you'll never unsee it.)

They leave notes in the office for each other signed with -S. or -M.

Mulder dog sat Queequeg at least once.

Mulder constantly gets caught up in VCU/BSU cases, losing himself in the process and almost committing suicide constantly (in canon, the first time he tried that-- the Bill Patterson method-- was in Grotesque; and he seemingly hasn't since. In fact, he highly discourages others from delving too deeply and losing themselves in madness by doing so.)

Scully and Mulder cry over songs about each other frequently.

Scully is justified in toying with Mulder's emotions by dating someone else to bait him but if Mulder does it then she cuts him out of her life (he usually doesn't because he's just so distraught with emotions for his Scully.)

Mulder's cologne is always spicy and his aftershave is always fresh.

Scully's shampoos smells like strawberries. Or peaches.

Mulder has amazing cholesterol despite his garbage diet.

If they have a tryst before canonical dating and Scully ends up pregnant, she will never communicate this to Mulder-- he will only find out years later when he runs across her and sees their child. This is always somehow his fault, of course.

If Mulder and Scully get together and get pregnant before canon, their first child is always a girl. She is named after Melissa, Samantha, or another woman from Scully's family.

If the pregnancy is somehow connected to the mytharc, it will usually always be twins or triplets (once it was two bio twins and a third miscarried "other", but that was a surrogate story.)

AU S9 fics: in older fics, Scully becomes a stay-at-home mom. In newer fics, Mulder becomes a stay-at-home dad. Rarely do they go back to the FBI together, even if Mulder gets the X-Files back.

Mulder starts cooking and gardening at the Unremarkable House.

Scully likes aging and Mulder does not.

Edit:

Scully is pink-cheeked when she gets out of the shower.