#dissociative identity disorder

[theorangeagrum]

Give me a reason

To ignore all the warped faces

People wear in the streets.

Breeze

11/2023

[rare-average-system]

REMINDER

Trauma isn't only bad things that happened

Trauma is also good things that didn't happen

[clever-and-unique-name]

A simplified version of the thing I feel like goes on in my brain.

Blank version under the readmore if you want to be a bit silly+introspective with your own "settings"

[traumagenic-positivity]

i love you aromantic systems!

i love you asexual systems!

i love you aro-ace systems!

i love you systems who prefer qprs!

i love you demisexual systems!

i love you cupioromantic systems!

i love you demiromantic systems!!

i love you systems who are on the aromantic spectrum!

i love you aegosexual systems!

i love you aegoromantic systems!

i love you apothisexual systems!

I love you apothiromantic systems!

i love you aroflux systems!

i love you autoromantic systems!

i love you aceflux systems!

i love you autosexual systems!

i love you desinoromantic systems!

i love you fraysexual systems!

i love you frayromantic systems!

i love you greyromantic systems!

i love you graysexual systems!

i love you lithromantic systems!

i love you lithsexual systems!

i love you quoiromantic systems!

i love you quoisexual systems!

i love you recipromantic systems!

i love you systems!!! <3

[osddid-i-do-that]

I’ve seen a lot of people being surprised at this or asking about other variations in “silence” — depending on your (the alter reading this) barriers between yourself and others, you might be able to “hear” actual voices, they might come through as more like thoughts, they might be vague (a sense of someone talking), or just emotions that feel external to you, or a feeling of someone else present, or you might feel very alone a lot of the time.

It’s all very dependent on your amnesia barriers and how willing/able others are to communicate! Some of us can hear each other pretty clearly most of the time, but stress makes it harder! Some of us are very cut off a lot of the time and only sometimes get a sense that we aren’t alone occasionally.

Wildly different experiences, even within the same system ✨

For any system that needs to hear this:

Experiencing periods of silence in your brain is normal. You’re not making it up or faking or actually just a singlet just because you can’t hear other alters 24/7/365.

[genderqueerdykes]

How come you use 'us' and 'we' when referring to things you've done?

Eg: our art

Are there multiple people controlling this blog?

(Srry if I seemed rude I was wondering why it seemed you were referring to multiple people in tags)

good question, not rude!

there are multiple people running this blog, but they all live in my body with me! i have Dissociative Identity Disorder, meaning that there is more that one person existing in my brain! i'm what's known as plural, or a system. :) not every plural or system has DID, but for me, my plurality was likely caused by trauma. i do believe i would've been naturally plural regardless of the trauma, but i experience very heavy dissociative episodes, black out, lose track of time, find objects in my home that i don't remember buying, am reminded of conversations that "i" was present for when i really wasn't the one there, forgetting/not knowing who i am, coming to in places i don't remember going, extremely faulty/poor memory, and other dissociative symptoms.

i have tried to force myself to ignore or try to get rid of my alters, but they never truly go away, so i just choose to accept it as part of my life. i alternate using i and we because of that! hope that makes sense! feel free to ask any more questions you may have

[hiiragi7]

How Many Was I, Anyway?

Some reflections on the system I used to be.

To this day, I don't know how many selves I was. I don't know how many parts, how many "not-me"s, existed in my system. I never will.

We never got an exact count.

And... that's for the best.

My system was very, very polyfragmented and complex. A lot of therapists, including dissociative specialists, dropped me because of it. A member of the ISSTD even retired after working with me for a few weeks. My system was always in conflict with itself and my parts were always fighting, a lot of us resented each other.

It was really overwhelming.

Trying to get any kind of sense of how many parts of me there were was an impossible task. And one that proved to be, well... counterproductive at best.

Fixating on the numbers made my system more and more distressed. It felt like we would never recover, there were too many parts, too many fragments and little pieces to pick up.

So we stopped counting.

We worked with every part as they came, worked really hard at improving our communication and self-calming skills, wrote down tons of notes about how to notice what we're feeling and what triggers symptoms and switches, read a lot of clinical books on dissociative disorders to better understand what we were dealing with and learn new skills, shared info with a lot of others with CDDs, and did a lot of mood tracking and journaling and setting reminders to help spot patterns and work around the amnesia better.

And, slowly... the dissociative barriers came down, and one by one, every part of us fused, until their fusions and all the effort and love that went into each one created me, the fused whole.

I may not know how many I was in the past, but I can comfortably say how many I am now; I am a system of two, myself and Fennel.

I've noticed in our community we tend to focus a lot on the numbers. A lot of plural servers on discord even ask anyone who joins to disclose alter/headmate counts. A lot of folks post their numbers publicly in their bios. Everybody, systems and singlets alike, all seem to want to know - How big is your system? How many of you are there?

It always made me feel very vulnerable to think about - everyone else always seemed so sure of their numbers, or at least had an estimate if not an exact count. I had a lot of internalized shame for a long time over how many parts I had and felt really overwhelmed every time I found more or split more. It also felt like something that should be more private, something I didn't really want to share with strangers.

And, well, that's perfectly alright. I may not be in that same headspace now (pun intended), but I think there should be more acceptance towards not sharing or knowing the exact number of members in a system.

However many you are, I hope you can have a good day today.

[positivitycombopack]

Shoutout to systems who struggle to let out their anger, for whatever reason.

Maybe you struggle to let it out safely; maybe you struggle to let it out in a productive way; maybe you struggle to let it out at all.

Those feelings matter, just like every other feeling, and they need to be processed and let out.

Let yourself be angry. You have permission, if you need it. You can even be angry with me, if that’s what you need.

———

Tips for those who may benefit from them, here’s some of the ways I’ve learned to let out angry reactions physically to get the moment to pass:

Ripping up paper

Screaming

Singing loudly

Wii Sports Boxing

Drawing on myself

Punching a pillow

Tensing and untensing my muscles, one by one

These were the best methods I found. For those who are like me and don’t get as much release from venting, these might be good ways to express your anger.

[the-masked-society]

That, Made me weeze for almost 20 minutes straight

Why is his forehead like that?!

..I need to show that to him rq, he'd either find it funny or gasp like I insulted his ancestors

No in between

- Digi

Pspspsps four food

Four: “peace” *fades out of existence*

The chain: “what the FU-“

[corinescorner]

How to be a System Ally

This can be a post for both non-systems and systems! We all should be educated on how to be an ally for the community! It's aimed towards non-systems, though.

Educate yourselves. Before engaging, you should learn about systems and plurality. Different types of systems exist, and come in many, many different ways. Terms llike headmates, switching, co-consciousness, etc. should be learned before interacting!

Read about experiences: Follow blogs, watch videos, or read posts from systems who share their journeys.

Avoid assumptions: Not every system is the same, and their internal experiences and why they even exist can widely vary.

Use correct language! Ask about pronouns, names, or terms that the system may use. They can vary between each system, or even each alter.

Respect system-specific terms: If a system describes themselves as a way that's unfamiliar, instead of calling them fake or lying, take time to understand what it means. Ask questions, do research.

Don't assume every system view their system or plurality as a negative or a problem. Some systems see it as apart of their identity, regardless of how they formed.

Respect boundaries and autonomy. Like anyone else, systems have boundaries, and it's extremely important to respect them. Some systems are more open than others, but don't assume that every system should talk about their inner world.

If you're not sure who's fronting, ask before assuming! Some systems may let you know, but others may prefer to keep it private. Respect both.

Never, ever pressure a system to switch for another alter to interact with. Or in general. Switching isn't a performance, and asking is very invasive.

If a system requests to be treated as individuals between alters, respect that. Don't treat them as a singular identity unless they prefer it. Ask questions.

Validate their experiences. Systems face a ton of invalidation, both from the outside work and even in their own community. As an ally, you should validate every experience.

Believe them. If a system tells you about their experiences being a system, believe them. Don't question their legitimacy or dismiss their reality.

Acknowledge the diversity in systemhood. Whether a system formed due to trauma or not, their experiences are valid as a plural or system. Don't engage in debates that question the validity of "real" systems.

Support how they view their system. Some view it as a disorder, while some view it as their identity. Support how they see themselves without your own judgement.

Many systems, particularly the ones formed from trauma, can be sensitive to certain topics. Ask about what topics they would like to avoid, and respect it. Avoid triggering language; slurs, stereotypes, or graphic descriptions of trauma can be harmful.

Avoid intrusive questions. Questions about how often they switch or what their trauma history is are often invasive. If they want to share, they will.

Amplify system voices. Share content, posts, or messages from systems who are advocating!

Correct misinformation. Gently guide a person to the correct information. Remember, misinformation generally comes from lack of education, so pointing them to the right direction can help.

Offer support, not pity. Systems don't inherently need rescue or pity. Don't be the "hero" of systems. Listen without judgement, listen without trying to "fix" things. Celebrate their strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses.

Support a system automony. Systems are allowed to make nonconventional choices for their system. Whether it's delaying recovery, purposely splitting, creating alters, etc. They are allowed to make these choices.

Continue to educate yourself. Plurality is a diverse and growing field of discussion. Keep up with new conversations and research.

I hope this is able to help people who are newer to the system community or what to help advocate for their system friends!

[shiggystar]

sunday pfp mask n stamps ☙

[reimeichan]

Honestly being fused doesn't mean I don't interact with my parts anymore or that I no longer am doing parts work or anything. If anything, I'm finding myself tackling parts work more easily by being fused and having that increased internal communication really helps. I still very much engage with myself as parts, both in an introspective "dealing with trauma" sort of way but also in fun silly ways like trying to figure out which alters prefer which songs in my playlist. And I also still do my nightly check-ins with myself and selves to see if there's anything I need to work on or work through, and also to just remind myself how much I love myself and selves.

I feel like a lot of people think that once you reach a certain point in integration and fusion, you stop interacting with your parts and just function as a fused whole with a singular self. And that's a way some people experience themselves. For myself, though, it's been a lot more meaningful to explore my sense of self as being both multiple and as a fused identity. It's not really that I'm one or the other, I'm... both at the same time? But also not really. It feels more like trying to describe my experiences with the words and vocabulary that currently exist isn't really going to capture the full picture. I'm not the same as a singlet doing parts work, but I'm also no longer a fragmented DID system who struggles with dissociation day to day (though I do admit, it does crop up every once in a while during high stress situations). I think I've just kinda reached a point where I'm just comfortable being "me", whatever "me" looks like.

Something something "secret third option" lol

[the-masked-society]

I fear.. this is working on me 😔

I don't even know what Ibuprofen Is {<- never took medication in her life}

But I'll take it :)

- Digi

I was bored, I made this, thought it would be perfect for Tumblr.

[nocturnowlette]

it is borderline disturbing how effective Beat Saber is at bringing me out of a dissociative episode

[rottenteeth]

If DID only brings you suffering and misery that is normal. People talk about not having to be miserable to have DID and maybe some people find fun in their memory loss or intrusive communication. That's fine and a normal coping mechanism.

However, this is a trauma disorder, people with severe PTSD and dissociation will likely not think their trauma induced symptoms are genuinely funny. If that's how you cope cool but let's not diss people for being miserable because of an inability to function normally.

I personally don't find it funny when I feel as though I don't know the people in my home. I don't find it funny when I have distain for my friends. I don't find it funny when I have flashbacks and then can't remember the content of them and have to move on with a sense of unknowing. I don't have alters make silly comments on what I'm doing, I have severe intrusive thoughts that I have no connection to. My alters are keeping me alive, my brain is keeping me alive and it causes suffering and confusion and I am not able to trust my world view.

I love you systems who are suffering, even if you are in treatment, even if you know wallowing in your suffering is harmful. You cannot heal without first feeling your pain. Reality fucking sucks and I love you.