#discussion of rape

[distort-opia]

you know i often see people throwing around the claim "joker r*ped/sa'd barbara in tkj" (mainly to shame people for liking the joker or batjokes) even though alan moore has dedunked it at some point. like the only piece of media i can think of with joker as a rapist is the azzarello graphic novel which is shit and doesn't need to be accepted as canon. i know it's kinda of a touchy subject but i'd be interested to hear your thoughts

Well. You've pretty much said it, to be honest.

Even a cursory Google search will reveal that Azzarello's Joker (2008) is a one-off, non-canon story. The just as much stand-alone sequel, Batman: Damned has a grieving Harley Quinn almost force herself on Bruce, and yet I haven't heard people say Harley is a rapist. Hell, didn't Batman and Harley Quinn (2017) have Harley and Nightwing sleep together... with pretty dubious consent on Dick's side? And yet fans are able to acknowledge that these are not canon storylines and that the writer matters a lot-- in the case of the latter, it's co-written by Bruce Timm, who is infamous for his shitty portrayal of female characters (also see the animation Batman: The Killing Joke, in which Barbara very assertively has sex with Batman, because that's of course the only way a woman can exercise power). Actually, Barbara's character has suffered so much... there's even Batman Beyond 2.0 #28, in which Bruce apparently got Barbara pregnant, Dick's girlfriend at the time.

But we all dismiss these storytelling choices because we know they're idiotic. They go against the core of the characters, simple as that. Why is Joker not allowed the same? While what he canonically did to Barbara in TKJ was horrible, rape did not happen, and that's a fact. Any other implications of sexual assault can only be connected to Frank Miller's writing in the TDKR series (not canon), or that horrible (and again, not canon) book adaptation of TKJ by Christa Faust and Gary Phillips. Unfortunately, there are always some writers who think that it's just darker and grittier and cooler, more shocking to have Joker attempt rape or resort to sexual means of intimidation; though it's funny how it happens that these are also generally controversial writers for their sexist depictions of women.

But we do know why Joker is not afforded the same kind of treatment as other characters who got butchered by out-of-character stories, canon or otherwise. He's become the punching bag of the DC fandom; it's so easy to proclaim loud and proud these days how much you hate the Joker and want him dead. If you're an anti and looking to feel morally righteous and signal to your echo chamber how good and pure you are, it's a low hanging fruit to latch onto Joker and criticize him for all he's done. The problem, of course, is when these people start attacking actual, real-life fans over their fictional preferences, shipping or otherwise.

But to give a more general conclusion, and my actual opinion on the matter: Joker is a master manipulator. His main schtick is literally getting Batman to kill him by orchestrating all manner of situations; he manipulates his doctors, his henchmen, he manipulates Gotham itself through the media on countless occasions. The very reason why he did what he did to Barbara in TKJ was to manipulate her father into having a mental breakdown. Joker picks people to break and then breaks them psychologically, that is his MO. What he wants is to expose the people around him, he wants to show that deep down, everyone is rotten.

It probably becomes obvious why rape is inconsistent with this mindset. Joker isn't the kind of monster to make things happen by brute force, he's the kind of monster to manipulate people into the worst versions of themselves and then laugh at them as they hate themselves for it. He'll murder and torture and imply any manner of atrocity to make that happen, but the source of his glee is seeing people fall into the same dark pit, devoid of humanity, he's chosen to live in. (And don't even get me started on the fact that Joker was canonically shown to have been a victim of sexual assault himself as a child, in Batman: Streets of Gotham. As an adult, he's depicted as gruesomely taking revenge on the man who did it. Something tells me there's more than one reason why Joker would not resort to rape, and it goes beyond MOs or agendas.)

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Groupread. Book Two, Chapter XL

various instances of Rembrandt rejecting the tradition of depicting rape in visually pleasing or erotic ways. clockwise from top: detail of Susannah and the Elders, sketch for the same work, and a sketch for the Rape of Ganymedes.

{ @counterwiddershins + @sainteverge }

brace yourselves bc there's A LOT i found interesting in this chapter, Lots of fascinating rhetorical choices by the king, who in this chapter is portrayed exclusively by how he talks. Deborah continues to be assertive and smart and attempting to fight back openly, instead of being a hypocrite or a pretender/diplomat. She is moraly incapable of using the strategies of the court for very long.

-in the beginning the king pretends to be the baron of Gonesse. the false persona allows him to persuade Deborah that his power is limited. Deborah pretends to believe him for a while, even humors him with some moderate language of seduction (“I languished, I waited ardently for your arrival”) This doesn't last, as soon as The king enquires about her mourning arm ribbon, the memory of Patrick and the hope that the king is humane enough to be touched by her story, she speaks like the Deborah of old. She even calls her abduction an abduction to his face. No sugar coating or diplomacy from her. She accuses Villepastour and Pompadour openly, and expects the King to help her avenge herself. But the King is currently pretending to not be the King. Deborah's intrinsec belief that all people share her human decency + some idealizations of the role of the king as assigned by god, cloud her judgement. Not only the king knows the women are abducted, he doesn't care -to understand this classist mentality, Sade's letter are especially illustrative. Men of certain standing deserve to have women of lower status abducted for their fun, there is no solidarity because he doesn't even consider the women to be in the same species as he, the whole divine right idea ennables this mentality-

-the role the king plays as Gonesse is that of a busy diplomat -as opposed to his reality in this novel as a diletante-who is forced away from gallant affairs by diplomacy on the borders. He paints himself as a romantic soldier and politician, longing for love while busy defending the frontiers of his nation. He admits having abducted Deborah, and pretends to think abducting people is wrong and not something he does on a daily basis, but what was he to do, the love he felt was too strong, and he has his whole life to attone and make it up for her.

-the word abduction is thrown back at him by Deborah when asked about her mourning arm band.

-When “Gonesse”claims to not be an all powerful man, Deborah asks him to speak to the King, to which Gonesse answers with assorted cynic ideas on men and women and conquest, she lost a lover but earned two, and if that is bad, women should take better care of their lovers. In a rhetorical move worthy of Benvenutto Cellini's manipulations of the Pope, Deborah paints a more flattering picture of the king: He would never say those things to an abducted widow in mourning, because he hates crime and is a paldin of justice. To which the King can only say he is flattered, tries to brush it all off saying she will be “satisfied”only now it's not the right time to talk of those sad things, since Gonesse is a very susceptible to melancholy and fits of terror (we see slowly how the king's formidable appearance in his grand entry, that which drove deborah to her knees crumbles down. His performance of power is weak, when inflamed by desire he can only rely to two strategies, not more sofisticated than those of Villepastour, distracting Deborah with stories -remember Villepastour pulling out a porn pocket volume out of his Green redingote?- or, physical violence, something the woman is blamed for forcing the men to resource to. As we will see, these are the two paths the king will use in this whole Seduction Scene(tm). Fiction and story telling are a mirage, violence is what lies behind the embezzlement-even within it, we will see what kind of images the King's imagination summons.

-even in this initial verbal phase, violence cannot be separated from his royal sexuality. He cannot praise Deborah's beauty without saying how -if he were the King of France- he'd quickly annex Ireland and live there if all women were as beautiful as her. This is the kind of thing you can picture a king saying casually, as a joke, without batting an eyelash. Deborah being who she is, she cannot let this pass. And not diplomatically either, calling him a hammer, a yoke, an imposer of the law of the strongest.

-The king jokes that once she knows him better she would never call him any of that, nevertheless he is flattered and not insulted. The king's speech continues to be peppered with sexism, reifying Debby by asking her not to move once she asumes a facial expression and pose that turns him on-interestingly, a pose of sorrow and pain- he asks her to become a statue, because this pose highlights her white shoulders and her breats. He makes some veiled allusions to cannibalism -never shipwreck in Tovy-Poenammou- making his speech once again, etnocentric and colonial, and comments on his taste on women's clothes, the incresingly low necklines and wide decoletages can stay, but the neck ornaments and gauzes are annoying obstacles that women wear emmiting thusly a double signal of provocation and mock prudery. The word choice once again, is very, very interesting: women are shrouded in bandages, like an open sore, the image is vaginal and violent. Has this man ever pleased a woman or does he only know how to cause pain?

And the subject of gauzes makes the king wonder into his next piquant story to distract Deborah and get her in the mood for love. This is what the king meant when he inived her to talk of love for a while, sadism and colonialism. Even when thinking he's making pleasant small talk the violence of his role just drips through.

The story is about two women who seeked to satisfy both “reason and customs.”by riding a carriage through the Tuileries gardens, naked under white sheer dresses, people gazing at them like melons are savoured with the eyes through the glass bells containing them. The connection to Deborah is only through the gauze on her neck, revealing the king's no longer thinking much with the head between his shoulders. Indeed, he declares to be in a fight between reason and his education, whic is what keeps him at bay from devouring Deborah, like a cannibal. Through their dialogue only, we see how the king wants to get things in motion, and Deborah attempts to defend herself. The dialogue is really succesful here, Deborah accuses him of acting unworthily of the role that God has bestowed on him. But Gonesse is only a man! A man, yes, but he acts like a dog, retorts Deborah. The not-King protests, (i can imagine his surprise at being spoken like this, even while acting as Gonesse he's still playing the part of a noble) Deborah too wants to get her own plot in motion, admits she knows he is the king. In return, he claims she is dreaming, and his touch becomes forceful. Deborah replies:

““Is this the hospitality a foreign girl finds in your Kingdom! her husband is murdered, and then she is dragged in a nameless place, and she is fattened up for the King’s pleasures, and the King rapes her. (...)”

tr. @sainteverge

the rest is about the kind of good kings Patrick and Debby idealize, she asks him if he is not ashamed for acting in ways that would displease them (which is fun because these kings were as much colonial brutes as the more modern, supposedly decadent ones...)

{--Also, spanish speaker moment: the word engaissé in french, which Debby uses for fattening, has a double meaning in french that engrasado in spanish doesn't share, which made me check if french kept the “greased up”meaning, and it does, it means mainly fattened, but also greased, so it's an interesting if secondary allusion to lubrication --}

Anyways I strongly appreciate Borel not going for an euphemism for rape here. The book boldly dares to call the king a rapist, no excuses, no attempt to soften facts.

Deborah continues with her rhetorical mastery while trying to appease the previously loquacious king who is no longer verbal but exclusively physical now in her attempt to overpower her:

“You want pleasure: I am no more than bramble, than a thorny bush of which the leaves and flowers have fallen with the wind of misfortune. I am only a pleasure-less and awkward foreigner, sad, mournful, wilted, her heart full of poison and loathing and dejection, regretting her native mountains, weeping her mother whose grave is still freshly stirred, and her spouse whose blood is still steaming.—Mercy, mercy, Sire! let me go: you are asking pleasures from an urn, you are asking caresses from a cypress! Look! I am cold and icy like the dead!—Please! please! humanity, Sire! my womb is full: do not give the orphan whom I am bearing a prostitute for a mother!... ”

As the narrator had done before, Deborah likens her body with hostile botanical and geographical terms,her body is arid and spiky like thorny bushes of her motherland.

She is an urn, a cypress, the tree you can find in every cemetery, even her body is cold, she is partly dead because of the triple mourning of her husband, her mother and her motherland. (there is nothing appealing in this inactive/inert/dead nature, as opposed to other romantic texts)

Deborah also subverts nobility related rhetoric: his rape will render her a prostitute. The king corrects her, he is Zeus abducting Ganymedes. His touch ennobles, if any of them is abasing themselves, it is the king, by touching a lowly creature such as her.

The king truns to persuasive talk once more, making her believe she can be the next Pompadour. If she lets him rape her, she can rule his heart, she can have every luxury, yada yada, fame, even her revenge, even Cockermouth Castle can be moved to France if she misses it.

The king's description -paying her yielding with goods, social status and revenge-convinces Deborah further that she is being put into the role of a prostitute, and that is, according to her deeply religious and influenced by sexism beliefs, a dishonourable role. (while it should be enough for her to think, I don't want to have sex with you, I am so disgusted by you I cannot bring myself to do it even if I don't want to, because you kidnapped me and are unmoved by the fact that I don't want to have sex with you. The end) Her liberty is owed to her, she wants it back. The king insists, Deborah resists, she begs desperately on her knees, the king, we asume, pulls his dick out, Deborah's refusal of it and her insulting him as a king: (“King, you are infamous!”) has him accusing of being a Lucretia, who was brought up on analysis of book one, the allusion is perfect, because her fighting back after her rape by Tarquinius ended a monarchy and inaugurated the Roman republic.

The most memorable line of the book is uttered by Deborah, and with it ends book three. Recalling to the defeats that are covert victories Montaigne speaks of in his des Cannibales, we can say this desperate cry is not that of a beaten person, but a war cry of someone who will bounce back after the ordeal.

“Tarquin! someone shall avenge me!” “Who?” “God and the people.”

dieu et le peuple. We shall see how Borel shows this fated revenge on later chapters......

[evilwriter37]

Rated: mature

Warnings: non-consensual touching, discussion of rape

Relationships: Hiccup/Astrid, Hiccup & Toothless

Word Count: 2,194

Summary: The Dragon Hunter captain that captured Hiccup takes an interest towards him, and Hiccup is rescued by Astrid in the nick of time. Then, if nothing happened, why does he feel so awful?

[skull-bearer]

Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Dragonlance - Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Dalamar the Dark/Raistlin Majere, Caramon Majere/Raistlin Majere Characters: Raistlin Majere, Dalamar the Dark, Caramon Majere, Bupu, Tanis Half-Elven, Gilthanas Kanan, Goldmoon (Dragonlance), Riverwind (Dragonlance), Tasslehoff Burrfoot, Sturm Brightblade, Onyx, Kitiara uth Matar, Alhana Starbreeze Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Sibling Incest, Not Graphic but very implied, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Abuse, Escape, Abusive Relationships, Despair, Supportive Bupu, Dragonarmies Dalamar, Loneliness, Isolation, Almost an Ivory Blood and Ebony AU, If You Squint - Freeform, Dark, i did warn you, Caramon is not a good guy in this one, Murder, Hurt/Comfort Summary:

“Want to keep you safe.” Bupu's grubby hand knotted into his robes.

A gully dwarf and a Dark elf. He was doing well, now two people gave half a damn if he lived or died. A great improvement on flat zero. He hoped Nightson had escaped the collapsing city. “You cannot.” Chapter 7: Capture Raistlin's luck runs out. No one else is particularly fortunate either. (I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry)

[wolfythewitch]

I’m just now getting into and learning about the odyssey but like…was all the adultery with Circe and Calypso by choice or did Odysseus get manipulated into that since he does genuinely love Penelope more than he did either of them so like what happened there?

Well you read the text haha you tell me

There's too much surrounding Circe's to ever know the level of consent imo. She gets like a paragraph or two and we know they definitely slept together at least once. Hermes tells him to but their meeting was also supposedly prophesied. She is a goddess and he's a mortal. His men were trapped with her but they also stayed a year after. We don't even really know if they had sex after that but I can't say they didn't. The whole thing is very vague, but you can't quite say it was by choice. I think a friend described it by saying the closest word for it is dubcon

With Calypso it's clearer the level of consent. Though, maybe it could have been willing at first, with the line "she no longer pleased him". Which could be interpreted a different number of ways so I'm not gonna get into it. The bit I'm going to point to is the line after, "an unwilling lover beside a lover all too willing". That's rape. Regardless of any past proclivities, at some point his consent was revoked. He had been trapped on her island the entire time for 7 years, so already the power imbalance (along with her being a goddess) is pretty skewed. He wept on her shores every day. He says himself that he longs to go home. Athena says he longs to die

[skufdaddyswansea]

Mouthwashing, Dual Protagonists, and Captain Curly

While the vast majority of Mouthwashing is shown from Jimmy's perspective, the events leading up to the Tulpar's crash usually follow Curly. There are several interesting reasons for this, but there's one reason in particular that I'd like to focus on.

By setting Jimmy and Curly up as dual protagonists, we're invited to draw comparisons between them. Not only are they the lenses through which we view the story, they pass the role of Captain back and forth between their chapters.

It's easy to feel sympathy for Curly, given the state he spends the larger part of the game in. It can also be easy to gloss over his more subtle shortcomings when measuring him up against Jimmy.

In this post, I want to take a closer look at Curly's character. And more specifically, how he relates to one of the game's most obvious themes.

Is Curly able to deal with the consequences of his actions? Does he realize his own failures and how they harm the people around him? What does he do with the power he's granted over others?

Does Curly take responsibility?

Jimmy's fixation here gives us a good jumping-off point. It's certainly possible that he's only really been told this once or twice, but because he's Jimmy he's blown it out of proportion out of spite. It's also possible he's entirely making it up because he's projecting, but I think the former is more likely if anything.

And, if I had to take a guess where he heard it from, I'd put my money on The Pony Express itself.

In the eyes of The Pony Express, a "great leader" isn't someone diligent or able to meet the needs of his crew. The real reason Curly was able to rise to the top of the ladder and become captain is because he gets the job done without rocking the boat.

I'm establishing all this because I think it's worth examining by what metric he's being judged. Because, while it may be Jimmy who most often digs this point up, Curly doesn't disagree with him. Even in the depths of his ennui, it's important to him that not only is he the Captain, but a good one at that.

When comparing the two, that can again seem difficult to argue against. Jimmy is quick to lash out and shift blame. His resentment and insecurities often drive him to pick fights. Curly prefers to avoid conflict, but knows his position doesn't always allow him to do so. He tries to pick his battles, but when he has to get involved he focuses on de-escalating the situation.

But although their similarities are few, they do exist. And they greatly influence the narrative. Because it is from their shared selfishness, callousness, and cowardice that the entire story is born.

It's time to address the elephant in the room. We can't draw any conclusions about Curly's nature, his character, his role in the story, and his relationship to its themes without digging into his handling of Anya's assault, and the chain of events that follow.

I find it interesting that we never see the initial conversation Anya has with Curly about the assault. We simply know that she confided in him. He is the Captain, after all. The crew is his responsibility.

The thing is, we don't really need to know the exact conversation they shared, because we can imagine it went quite similarly to their conversation about her pregnancy.

She tells him how scared she is. She fears for her life. It never even occurred to him that she was upset about anything other than losing her job. He swears to her that everything will be fine. They'll fix this. All he has to do is talk to Jimmy.

He does not talk to Jimmy.

Maybe the first time he really did intend to. He just needed time. Jimmy has always had... struggles. If we want to, we can be generous to Curly, we can assume his old problems were much less vile. Otherwise, he would have never pulled the strings to get him this job, never put him in a position of power over vulnerable people. Right? But now, this was whole new beast altogether. Because he and Jimmy go way back, he had to process this, figure out what he was even supposed to say.

But at the same time, The Pony Express had just gone gone under. He'd been struggling with dissatisfaction and indecision for so long, and now his hand has been forced. He has his own problems. And Anya seems fine, doesn't she? If she hadn't said anything, he'd never have even known there was anything wrong. It just doesn't seem that important.

Anya talks to Jimmy herself.

She's scared, she fears for her life. But now she knows now that Curly won't defend her, nor give her the means to defend herself. Still, he promises her, they'll fix this. He just has to talk to Jimmy.

Things are different now. He can't sit by and wait for things to work out anymore. After all, it's not only her problem anymore.

Now it's Curly's problem too. How is he supposed to find another job with this on his record? There's only one other person on this ship who understands what he's going through.

He talks to Jimmy.

And he understands. Not that what he did was wrong, of course. Not that he'd done something horrific, irreversible, cruel. But that it now had consequences, and that he wouldn't suffer them alone.

Curly made his decision. He chose his paper-thin illusion of peace and his eroding friendship with Jimmy over the safety and well-being of his crew. And when it all came tumbling down, he decided it was better to bury them all under the rubble than to face the struggle to rebuild.

If Jimmy hadn't been there, hadn't been his co-pilot, Curly almost certainly would not have been able to bring himself to actually follow through with something so selfish and reckless.

But Jimmy was there, and Curly made sure of that.

So, it's time to ask again. Does Curly take responsibility?

Well, yes.

But it's too little, too late.

As much as Mouthwashing is about Jimmy fighting furiously against the consequences of his actions, it is also about Curly being forced to watch them unfold anyway. His silence and inaction, once a choice, are inflicted upon him by his mangled body.

Jimmy may have crashed the ship, but Curly gave him the keys. And so it's fitting in the end that Curly is made to take the full weight of responsibility by the man who he helped avoid it so many times.

[distort-opia]

Hi!

I love your meta posts and I was curious about your opinions on the killing joke’s adaptions, I’m talking mainly about the movie and the novel.

Something that really bugs me is the way the story is considered, rightfully, misogynistic in its treatment of Barbara but every sigle time someone tries to “fix” it they are only capable of making it even worse.

I read the novel version recently and it was so bad 😭 not only they added an incel type character that Joker recruits (he straight up says “nice guys like us”, which is just cringe but at least he was being manipulative here) and made him witness Barbara’s torture (btw she forgives him at the end of the story…), they also strongly implied that she was raped and generally made the whole thing even more humiliating by setting up a camera that live shared a video of her, while naked and bleeding to death, all over Gotham ( coupled with disgusting comments on how the footage looks at first like a porn). These exemples are just the tip of the iceberg! The book is filled with sexualised female characters, sexist remarks and the decision to add Harley just to paint her as a dumb horny woman surrounded by incompetent people that ignore the fact that she is clearly having sex with her patient.

At the end, the authors have the nerve to dedicate the novel to women…

I feel like this is the same thing that happened with modern versions of Jarley, they just write Joker more and more abusive and Harley without any kind of agency (ex. the new origin story with the bleached skin…ugh) to make her story more feminist. At this point It’s not even funny to read a comic that feature both of them :(

Sorry for sending you such a negative ask 🥲

To conclude on a more positive note, I love your fics and I can’t wait to read more! 💞

To be honest I don't have much to add, I entirely agree! You've written great commentary. I also did not even read the novel adaptation of TKJ precisely for the reasons you outlined; I was told how shitty it was. But fucking hell, I did not know the full extent of it. As you said, they keep trying to "fix" Barbara's treatment in TKJ but they just keep making it so much worse... And a similar thing is happening with Harley, because DC wants her to be a hero now-- so her previously darker traits must be either erased or completely attributed to Joker's Evil, Abusive influence. It's indeed pretty infuriating, both for Harley fans and Joker fans.

(And thank you, glad you like my writing!)

[orphiclovers]

cw rape discussion

Okay, let's talk about this little moment from early ORV.

Here, Kim Dokja deliberately uses the language of 'tactfully rejecting a further relationship' - 'we had fun together but let's not see each other again' which is something you might say to someone after a first date or, and what is more likely meant here, a one night stand.

The context to this scene is that Kim Dokja temporarily let himself be possesed by a constellation to win a battle, but now the battle is over and he wants the constellation to leave, please and thank you. A one time thing and not an extended relationship. Sounds kind of like a one night stand, doesn't it?

Kim Dokja thought so. While he is only rejecting a further sponsorphip offer, the fact the situation feels like a double entrande is something he himself recognizes and makes a private joke in his mind referencing.

This comparison, no matter how light-hearted, is the first thing in this scene that encourages drawing parrarels between the events happening and sexual imagery in the readers' mind. First, but not the last.

The constellation does not "accept no as an answer" and does not leave, staying in Kim Dokja's body and trying to pressure him into further relations. Even describing it this way sounds...bad. Technically nothing untoward is happening, but an ...uncomfortable... vibe permeates the whole scene, as he repeatedly ignores Kim Dokja's verbal revocation of consent.

"Stop." "I said no." with these words on their own, but even more so compounded with the vague reference to sex a paragraph before, it feels as if we are reading a thinly veiled rape scene.

'Possession as symbolic rape' is well-trodden ground in paranormal stories, as it is often potrayed as the ultimate violation of bodily autonomy.

What ORV does differently from those, is acknowledge the role of 'continuous consent' in what changes 'possession' from fine and even welcomed, as it was before during the fight, to a violation. Which is not a distinction these stories usually make, as it would require potraying possesion as a possibly positive experience - but orv does that many times. In ORV, 'possesion' is not an inherently violating act, it really is only a matter of consent. Like sex is in real life.

My final piece of evidence for us being meant to read this scene as a rape allegory is perhaps the most explicit about it.

The words Kim Dokja says to himself in this situation. A deep breath to calm himself. "This is my body. I would never give it to his guy or any constellation." He explicitly asserts his bodily autonomy, using very loaded language. And these are the words that give him a power-up.

TL,DR: 1. Kim Dokja himself acknowledges that this situation is similar to an affair of a sexual nature. 2. The language used to describe this scene is reminiscient of sex and sexual assault imagery. 3. Possession as rape is a legit analogy that is often used in fiction.

[aimfor-theheart]

Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?

Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.

hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.

that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.

cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general

firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.

secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.

now, to your questions.

to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.

i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.

regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.

i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.

art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.

this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.

(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)

but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.

people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.

now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.

i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.

if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.

for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.

to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?

it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.

as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.

and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.

just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.

and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.

you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.

and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.

i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.

genuinely wishing you well.

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[brandwhorestarscream]

part 2 of D-16 carrying Sentinel’s sparkling please?

Your wish is my command, anon! I had a lotta people asking for this, so many messages! Ya'll are so sweet, I really appreciate it, so thanks for that! Let's get right into it ^-^ part 1 is here, part 3 here, part 4 here!

Orion is at his side in an instant, yelping, "Dee, no! Stop, you'll hurt yourself!" As he forcibly grabs his friend's servos to stop him from tearing himself apart. D-16 shrieks a wordless noise of agony, and then collapses forward onto Orion to begin sobbing violently into his shoulder. Clutching onto him like a lifeline, wailing with all the devastated force he can. Bawling against Orion and falling to pieces, brokenly asking what he's going to do. 

Orion numbly wraps his arms around Dee, letting his chin fall onto his shoulder. His arms slowly tighten, til he’s clinging with near-denting force, and his optics begin to sting with tears too. It hits him later than it did D-16, what exactly Sentinel did to them. That he intentionally got them drunk and lied to them, he lied, lied, lied about them being special and lied about caring for them, all so he could make them pop their panels. It sinks in, slowly, exactly what he took from them: he robbed them of their first time, something that should’ve been one of the tenderest, loving moments of their lives. He used them and threw them away just because he could. He ravaged their bodies selfishly, under false pretenses, without a care for how it would effect them. He touched their sparks. He raped them, both of them, and a sob suddenly flies past Orion’s lips. It hits him all at once, with a feeling like a train has just plowed into his chassis full-force, and all he can do is cling onto D-16 and wail. They cry together, desperately holding onto each other there on the cavern, weeping with all the force of their broken, disgusted sparks.

Alpha Trion stands vigil over them, observing in sorrow, letting them mourn and grieve all that they’ve lost. His spark aches for them. Poor, poor children… they’re so young. Too young to be forced to weather something like this, such an egregious sin… he watches Elita approach them with a haunted look on her face, B-127 wandering closer in her shadow, and she reaches a trembling servo to gently rest on Orion’s shoulder. He grabs onto her wrist like a lifeline, face angling up to look at her lost and broken, optics shattered and expression void of all hope. She bows her helm, mouth pressed into a thin line and lips trembling. Struggling not to cry for them. B-127 creeps closer and, after hesitating for a moment, pads forward to glom onto D-16’s arm. He’s silent as the bigger mech cries, patting at his arm and trying desperately to think of something he can do. But there’s nothing, not really, nothing in the universe could ever soothe a pain like this.

They cry until they can’t shed any more tears, til their bodies have completely exhausted their optical cleanser and lubricant stores, and they’re left dry sobbing and shuddering in exhaustion, slumping against one another and barely upright. It hurts. It hurts. Everything hurts.

“...little one,” Alpha Trion gently addresses D-16 at last, stepping forward and flicking the last of his tears off his face. “I cannot undo what has been done to you, but I can offer to relieve one of your burdens.”

D-16 sniffles miserably, still huddled close to Orion where they’re now sitting side by side on the floor. Orion is cross-legged, face in his servos, with Dee snuggled close against his side, his helm cradled on the blue mech’s shoulder. “Wh…” his voice creaks like a rusty hinge. “What do you…?”

Alpha Trion steps back and raises his palms to the sky, optics closing and exhaling a great puff of air. “ONYX!” his deep voice echoes through the cavern like a clap of thunder. “Onyx, my brother, I beseech you. Speak to this child in my place!”

A warm wind blows in from nowhere, with such force it disturbs the magnetic sand all around them. It begins to swirl, lifting from the ground and into the air to form a funnel, billions of grains chasing one another around and around and forming a curtain around Alpha Trion’s body. They cluster around and seem to consume him, rushing over his plating and molding to his form like a second coat of paint. His helm drops back so his face is parallel to the ceiling, then he gasps as his optics fly open. No longer blue, but a warm, crackling orange-and-pink, like a freshly lit hearth.

He stumbles forward, unsteady on his pedes, taking to one knee and his left palm touching the floor as he stabilizes. “Oh…” when he speaks, it is not Alpha Trion’s voice. He’s… a bit higher pitched. Warmer. Even gentler. “Mother… mercy…”

He shakes his helm and the sand stubbornly clings, before at last he raises his face, zeroing in on the frightened, confused quartet.

“Oh…” he straightens up, optics drifting from each of their faces before focusing wholly on D-16. His expression slips from bafflement to a sort of pained compassion. Not quite pity, but if the way his mouth turns down and his optics narrow with sorrow are any indication, his spark aches for them. “Oh, dear…”

“D-Did he say-” B-127’s optics are impossibly wide, and he’s frozen on the spot, unable to move his pedes. “O-Onyx Prime-?”

“Indeed,” he nods in affirmation, straightening up. Though he remains in Alpha Trion’s body, the sand constructs his visage, shaping around the crests of his helm and fanning out on his back to take the form of his wings. Wings that were missing from his corpse. “Though I wish our meeting was under less dire circumstances, children.”

“Y- You’re-” Elita is starting to frown, inching in front of her group with one arm out. “You’re… th-the god of death-” Oh, Primus. Is he here to reap their sparks? Has Alpha Trion channeled him here to take them away?!

“Do not fear, little one. Peace,” Onyx holds up one servo, and his optics glimmer with warmth. He smiles, gently, hoping to put them at ease. “I mean you no harm. I shepherd over the dead, those who have already passed on. I help them find their way home to Primus, and assist them in seeking rebirth, but I am not here to be your reaper. Please… do not be afraid.”

He approaches them and kneels down just before D-16, looking deep into his optics. “Brother Alpha has called me here to speak to you, child.”

“M-” Dee is clinging tight to Orion, spark pulsing in fear. This- This is death incarnate! They said his hands could bleed a spark from it’s frame with a single touch! They said he lorded over the afterlife and knew everyone’s date and time of death to the millisecond. Having him here, specifically to speak to him, made his throat threaten to close in panic. “Me?”

“Yes,” Onyx Prime’s servo gently touches his helm and he yelps, they all do, flinching away. But after several seconds he realizes, wait… he can still feel everything. He can still feel Orion beside him, can still feel the warm gush of his vents. Actually… he feels better. Physically, anyway: his frame is already beginning to lower it’s heightened temperature back into the green zone, the insistent, horrible pain in his tanks is abating. His optics peak open, and finds Onyx still there, smiling kindly at him. “Please… you needn’t be afraid. I swear to you, upon my graves, I shall not harm you.”

“Wh…” Elita gulps. “Why are you…?”

His optics drift lower, to D-16’s chassis and abdomen. His expression saddens. “You've been forced to endure something terrible… oh, you poor, poor thing…”

The Prime pulls his servo away from Dee’s helm, though not before giving him an affectionate pat. “Listen to me, little one. You are young, you are hurt, and the journey ahead will be very difficult regardless of the path you take. Forcing you to bear this sparkling forced upon you would be a great cruelty if it is not your choice to do so. If you would like, I will take them and return to the Allspark.”

D-16’s spark slams to a stop in his chest. He stiffens, and Orion sits up straighter beside him. Elita’s mouth falls open.

“Wh… What are you…”

“It won’t cause you nor them any pain. They will be safe, and you shall not be punished for it,” he nods down at him. “I know this one, as I know all of them. They are a good spark, they will not resent you if you don’t wish to birth them. They will love you just the same, just as I will, and just as Primus will. The choice is entirely yours, little one.”

Dee’s audials start to ring, and he presses both palms to his chassis. It’s warm, overly warm as it has been the last several decacycles, and before he’d thought it was the heat of fever, but now he knows it is because he hosts an infant soul anchored to his.

He feels frozen in place. He- he could… Onyx Prime would…?

He sobs again and covers his mouth, bowing his helm. “I- I don’t-” he chokes. “I d-don’t know! I don’t know, I- I dunno, I-”

Does he want this sparkling? Does he? He doesn’t know! When Alpha Trion had announced his state, he’d been so happy. Over the moon in fact, beaming with pride and so excited to share the news. They were living proof of his and Orion’s tryst with Sentinel, proof that they were loved and important, and they were so indescribably precious. Now, though… now, they’re… they’re…

Primus, he doesn’t know what they are! He wants to curse them, wants to rip them from his spark chamber and toss them away so there’s no evidence of what that monstrous false Prime had done to him. He doesn’t want to remember, doesn’t want a constant, hideous reminder of the worst thing to ever happen to him.

But… the part of him that was previously excited wars with the other half of him. He doesn’t know that that’s what this sparkling will be. He’d been so excited, so happy, and now in it’s place there’s sadness and horror, and yet another part of him is so angry and repulsed and… and…!

He sobs again, clawing at his helm. “I DON’T KNOW!” he shouts, grinding his denta. “I don’t know, ok?! I don’t know!” how can he? Everything is such a mess in his helm, emotions at war and raging back and forth, grappling for dominance and all trying to shove the other down. He’s scared. He’s hurt. He’s sparkbroken. This is his first sparkling. Perhaps once he’d dreamed of this day, but pictured it so differently, hand in hand with someone who meant more to him than anything else, both of them with transformation cogs because they were good and hardworking and had been rewarded for their efforts. Perhaps he had dreamt of a home, with- with someone special, and a family with one or even two precious sparklings. It was a dream that was supposed to be achieved far into the future. Now, broken as he is, he worries it never will. Never can. It would be an impossibility, as he is now… if he kept this sparkling, he would have to look at it every day knowing he did not love the sire, and never could. He would have to look upon them as their only parent and know that his dreams of a happy life died long before they were even born.

But… if he lets them go, if he lets the god of the dead pluck them from his chest, he might never be fortunate enough to conceive again. What if this first sparkling is his only sparkling, and in letting them go, he loses his one chance? It’s too soon, it’s too early, and circumstances are dire, but… is he prepared to let them go? Knowing this could very well be his only chance?

D-16 sobs again, and Orion’s arm wraps around his shoulder, pulling him close against his chassis. Dee’s face burrows into his neck, whole body shaking as he whimpers again and again that he just doesn’t know!

“...peace, my little one,” Onyx Prime’s voice is rife with sadness and empathy. “You need not make a choice now, or even today. I… I apologize for bringing you further distress, but please know,” he places his right servo over his spark in oath. “The Primes are with you. When you make your choice, utter a prayer to me, and I will come to you if you require my aid.”

With a sigh, all of the sand suddenly falls from Alpha Trion’s body with the whisper of countless grains trickling to the floor, and when he blinks his optics become blue once more. “Ah…” he takes note of their distress, and shakes his helm sadly. “Poor children… rest. You are weary. Rest, and I will feed you.” once they’ve eaten and had time to process, he can reveal more to them, but that can wait.

They have suffered enough for one day. 

...

And that's where I'm gonna cut part 2! Poor, poor Dee... this is the worst day of his life, but at least he has Orion to support him. I hope ya'll enjoyed this angst nugget :3 if you want part 3, ya'll know what to do. Abuse the crap out of my ask box lol. Gimme your thoughts or predictions as well, that's always fun

[serial-unaliver]

accidentally clicked on "send message" and saw this. how accurately is tumblr describing your blog

HELLO?

[cupcakeslushie]

I sincerely see little issue on you coping like that, as long as its not, you know, graphic

Would i be uncomfortable? Very. Im still not quite over my own experience

But I'd be lying if i said i hadnt thought of putting some characters i relate to in such things and having they deal with it and feel like i did (as much as they can in the circumstances)

Yeah as long as this stuff isnt fetishized im on full support of it

Okay I feel like I’m stuck in a loop where the target is still being just slightly missed. I appreciate your intentions with this ask, and I can see where you were going. But “as long as it’s not graphic” and “as long as it’s not fetishized” are still putting qualifiers on art.

Art has no bounds. As long as triggers are tagged properly, and put behind a “read more” for the visually graphic images, any art can be created. When we start requiring stipulations for artists to meet before making art, we start the process of sanitizing it. If you read the warnings and still click on the post, then your discomfort is on you. If you aren’t mature enough to know your own limits in what you can handle, the artist shouldn’t have to issue a statement decrying their art, and listing all their traumas for some kind of purity tribunal to then decide it’s okay, and only when it’s being used as a coping mechanism.

It’s kinda funny, after all this, I likely wasn’t even going to actually DRAW anything sexually graphic, and at most, simply hint at it. But it doesn’t matter. If I wanted to, I should be able to, as long as it’s given all the warnings required. If I don’t like certain triggers, I avoid them. I’m not delusional enough to think that in all the whole, wide expanse of the internet, people will pander to my specific icks, likes and dislikes. I curate my own internet experience.

I can only hope, as I go about my day, that I am given the same courtesy of being warned ahead of time in the summary and tags, that I’m giving. But if another artist does want to draw that, I’m not going to request to see their trauma resume, just so I can approve of what they made. If I clicked, after reading the warnings and knowing damn well I would be triggered, I’m not going to be mad at the artist. That’s on me.

[eerna]

in a world filled with books written by male authors that make me go "uhhhhh this writer does Not have a good outlook on masculinity and women, this was definitely written by a man", the Chaos Walking trilogy stands as a complete opposite where I spent the entire series being like "WOW I never really thought about masculinity in this way, WOW this is painting a really interesting picture of gender dynamics and generational relationships, this was definitely written by a man"

[wickjump]

ok wick is kind of upsetti spaghetti so im doin a little rant here. that’s it

people get very weird about proshitters. they give a billion arguments to why its not that bad but at the end of the day it’s consuming or supporting people who consume fictional child porn.

“but XYZ was proven false!” i don’t care about the jaws effect or the slenderman stabbing. i am talking about grown ass adults getting off to drawings of little kids getting raped. why is that so controversial to think is disgusting. why is it something that people are so quick to defend. i do not see any reason why a grown adult would get off to that unless there is something genuinely wrong with them and that should not be a controversial thing. an adult should not be aroused at the concept of a child being raped, even fictional.

if you hear: “an adult should not get off to drawings of a child being raped by an adult” and your immediate thought is to try and justify it, there might be something wrong with you, too. at the end of the fucking day, regardless of whatever shit you want to spout, you have to see the common fucking sense that is “a grown adult should not be jacking off to drawings showcasing the rape of children”. why is this a sentence so hard for you to accept. how come saying this gets people mad. how come grown adults with a 9-5 think this is okay. you are old enough to have raised the kids you’re getting off to in art form. that is not a good thing. you should not be left alone with a child.

if someone hired you to babysit their kid and saw your ao3 history you wouldn’t be allowed near that family ever again. if your coworkers saw your tumblr you’d be ostracized quicker than you can blink. if your parents saw your twitter you’d be disowned. getting off to kids is weird. you are the chronically online ones.

(do not harass proshippers. it is never productive, never causes any actual change, and only serves to make everyone in the situation stressed. proshippers do not change their minds because someone sent “kys” in their inbox. not to mention multiple younger pros were groomed into the community and all harassment will do is push them further into it and away from recovery. block pros and move on.)

[skufdaddyswansea]

Sorry for the kind of spam, but I’m also wondering about your thoughts on Anya? Despite her, Swansea, Jimmy and Curly being the older “OG” crew and Daisuke being the newbie, there’s more of a divide between her and the rest of the crew. It’s Daisuke and Swansea, Curly and Jimmy, and then Anya. She doesn’t really seem to be anyone’s first choice.

I have a lot of thoughts on Anya! They're all kind of scattered because I haven't put the time in to sort them out in my head yet, but I find her super interesting. Probably the most tragic member of the crew but maybe that's stating the obvious.

(Okay I blabbed for like 8+ paragraphs again so I'm putting a cut here to spare people. Sorry for talking your ear off, but also thanks for the questions!!)

You are right, Swansea and Daisuke grew much closer to each other than either seemed to be with Anya. It makes sense given the internship situation and how their own respective issues played into each other, but it does suck that Anya ended up being so isolated. Especially considering how much longer Anya must have known Swansea.

I wish we could have seen more of it, but we do get some little hints that she at least got along with Swansea and Daisuke. Like at the party, she and Swansea are the only two people standing together, and she teases him about actually enjoying the shitty cake. I thought that was really cute. It's interesting to see that they have kind of a positive relationship even though Swansea also says some pretty shitty stuff to/about her. I wonder if, like Daisuke, she can tell that it's just kind of how he speaks and he doesn't really mean anything by it. Especially because she trusts him enough to tell him about Jimmy. Although that could have been out of desperation at that point too. Curious to hear what other people think about their relationship!

With Daisuke, it seems like it's pretty difficult not to be cool with him. As for how close they actually were, there's the Ludo game where Curly talks about Anya getting super mad at him for being so lucky. For a person like Anya I feel like being able to show that means she was pretty comfortable with him. (It's also the correct response to playing Ludo. Fuck that game.)

As for some other off-the-cuff thoughts:

This is kind of a chicken or the egg situation, but she struggles a lot with her self confidence, and the way the crew treats her just reinforces it. Like, she's trying to do her job, but when the crew won't co-operate she literally can't, but even though she can't control that she just accepts that it's her own fault, because that's what everyone else says.

Jimmy always gives her shit about having to give Curly his medication, but when she tells him she can do it herself he just shuts her down. Even when she doesn't ask him to do it. So she internalizes that and convinces herself that she really can't. But she kept the guy alive in that condition, with limited supplies, for like, 3 or 4 months. She can't really be as incompetent as everyone is telling her she is. I know there's some suspension of belief involved as well but I still think she deserves that credit where it's due.

On a similar note, I think the other reason she has trouble giving Curly the medicine, and hearing him struggle in pain, is because she feels guilty. Like, I think she blames herself for the crash.

Remember that first time you give Curly the medicine? When you talk to Anya again she asks why he did it. Then later we find out that right before the crash, she was talking to him about Jimmy and the pregnancy again. She thinks she sent him over the edge. Not to mention she was supposed to be making sure they were both mentally fit to fly. Obviously it's not her fault that Jimmy assaulted her, and it's not her fault that they refused to be honest about their problems with her.

You could say that if Jimmy's problem is that he can't take responsibility, Anya's problem is that she takes on too much of it, even when it's not hers to carry. And sometimes against her own will.

One more half-baked thought: I don't like to diagnose characters when it's not a clear/important part of the narrative, but I do think Anya takes part in some potentially compulsive behaviour.

When she has her conversation with Curly about the crew quarters not having locks, Curly mentions safety. We then see the word flash on the screen in the way key words or phrases often do.

At some point later, Daisuke mentions that ever since the crash Anya has been religiously reading the safety manual. I thiiiink there was at least one more time where it pops up, but I might have to go through the game to refresh my memory. I thought that was an interesting but fairly easy to miss little Anya trait.

All this to say Anya deserved a nice beach vacation and a stiff drink. (One without any mouthwash OR isopropyl alcohol, even!)