#disabled kids/young adults SHOULD NOT deal with this

[ultimate-marysue]

How I feel my Batfam ships may or may not have children (please don't take me seriously I just need wholesomeness):

Dickkory: multiple bio kids, I'm pretty sure this is canon in some future/alternative universes. I think DC should set Kori free on a PTA meeting with no one explain to her the absurd social rules Karens set. The shitty mothers would hate her because she's over here, playing dumb on purpose until they're forced to admit they're just being annoying/egocentric and not actually asking to better their kid's education. Also, career day would be crazy considering Dick changes jobs every few months to get involved into whatever business he's investigating. Like, one year he's a cop, next he's a super model, next he's a college professor somehow. Kori thinks it's really funny so she insists on Dick being the one to go.

Dickbabs: they either don't have kids (just adopt a bunch of rescues) or maybe have one adoptive kid. Other than Cass who is Babs daughter I don't care what anyone thinks. Just Dick, Barbara and Barbara's daughter who is also Dick's sister. Also, Babs got lucky with Cass being homeschooled, the second she has to deal with the school system she's on the phone with the president blackmailing him to fix it. Easy to say, Dick deals with school exclusively from them on.

BabsDinah: they're the lesbian aunts (that end up doing a lot of the parenting because they can't help themselves). Like, neither of them would really want to have kids of their own, but the second a young vigilante with a shit ton of issues gets dropped in their doorstep it's on. Like, officially they'd be mentors, but they all see each other as family.

Stephcass: Cass is a ticking bomb, she's going to find an ex-murderer kid in need of guidance and just bring them home. Steph is not thrilled at first because they're so young still until she realizes "oh wait no, we're like, adult adults now" and then she has a crisis (unrelated to the child). Also Steph would love love to prove she's better than her father (but would be terrified of messing up). At first they're really chill but soon enough they turn it into a competition with the other Bats. Not a competition between their kids, mind you ("no Cass, that's bad parenting") but a competition of who's the best parent. Jason is terrified of them, but the rest are absolutely down.

Jayroy: asides from our beautiful wonderful and just overall fantastic Lian Harper, I think they might end up adopting some kids. What can I say? I think Jason should have Bruce's adoption gene, but specially for kids in dangerous/hard situations. I'm talking the older kids that never get adopted or younger kids with some sort of disability that need extra accomodations. I think Jason would try very hard to avoid them being vigilantes at least until they're 18. Roy is more chill with vigilantism because well, Lian turned out fine, but he respects Jason's opinion. Most important, no child of his is going to be a Robin to Bruce fucking Wayne. Also, everyone in the PTA would love them, they'd be super involved and Jason would make sure to bribe the appropriate people with muffins.

TimKon: test tube baby, not on purpose though. Like, I don't see Tim as someone actively wanting kids (especially not biological ones) and Kon wouldn't want his kid having to face the problems he did. But like, if Cadmus pulls some weird shit and there's a super baby for the taking, they would both want to make sure they give him the most loving upbringing possible. Another option is Tim accidentally creating their baby while trying to clone Kon while he was dead. That one's plausible and has a lot of angst hurt/comfort potential. Also, Teen Dad Tim after being extremely parentified during his early teens taking care of Bruce (while grieving everyone!) is evil , but a compelling kind of evil. Like a trainwreck you can't look away from.

TimBer: dual income no kids kinda queers. They're over here taking their various nephews to Olive Garden and Disneyland only to drop them off and go live their lovely stress free lives. They may adopt a kid, but that would be only when they really settled down. Let Tim enjoy his 20s (if he ever gets there) my boy has been through enough.

Dukeizzy: again, maybe it's because Duke's still pretty young so he hasn't showed much interest or inclination toward parenting, but I don't have a lot of info to go with. Personally either Dual income "take the kids to do airsoft" kinda uncle/aunt, I can see both of them being really good at giving advice to younger vigilantes (the whole situation of We Are Robin gives you a lot of insight in the power of child vigilantes separated from any mentors, so they're in a particular good spot to mediate between the kids and adults). In the case of them having kids, I think they should inherit Dukes autism (I love that headcanon) and both he and Izzy would be those parents making damn sure their kids get the accommodations they need specially at school. If their kids choose to become vigilantes you bet they're gonna be unionized.

Also, I don't have any particular ship for Damian but you bet that if that boy ever becomes a parent they'd be the softest, sweetest father in the world.

[tired-o-fighter]

Alright

Things i have learned after 10 minutes on a rollator

- the speed goes faster and steadier and it's incredibly helpful

- knees do hurt a LOT less

- everyone stares at you but no one tries to talk to you they just walk out of your way as if you're gonna eat them. I'm fine with that. (I'm from a country where it's incredibly ableist. People who need mobility aid just don't leave home. You don't see ANY young people using mobility aids)

- THE WRISTS HURT

- in order to drop the weight on it you have to use all your arms and it makes you EXHAUSTED

- you can NOT sneak out with it thinking no one will figure it out

- there's a good chance you'd be in big trouble when you get back home because they now know you snuck out with it and they have the exact same ableist mindset and believe you don't need it

- you can just sit on it as soon as you get tired. This is incredibly helpful. Breaks are helpful to save spoons.

[in-tua-deep]

guess who showed up in my dream last night!

if you guess “early hobbit cartoon gandalf” then you were right!

[butterflyslinky]

On Tommy and Eddie's Will

Speculation of the week is that Tommy will find out Buck was named as Christopher's guardian in Eddie's will and that's going to be the crux of the problems between them.

There's no evidence for this speculation at all, but let's indulge for a moment.

Tommy knew coming into the relationship how important Eddie and Chris are to Buck. Maybe he doesn't know the specifics of the will, but I don't think he'd be surprised by it.

Even if Tommy finds out about it now, why would he care? That was an arrangement Eddie made long before Tommy was in the picture that has nothing to do with him.

But what if Tommy doesn't want kids?

We don't know that Tommy doesn't want kids. We don't even know that Buck DOES. Neither of them has ever expressed an opinion one way or another, and since they can't get pregnant by accident, it probably won't come up until much later in the relationship.

But even if it is the case that Tommy doesn't want kids...Buck doesn't have kids. I know people say he's coparenting with Eddie, but he's really not? He is at best a regular babysitter. At this moment, Chris has no bearing on Buck's relationship with Tommy.

The will, as of now, is a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency thing. It means that IF something were to happen to Eddie, Buck would be named as Chris's legal guardian. That's a hypothetical scenario that is, admittedly, more likely to happen to Eddie than the average person, but it has not happened yet. (And even if it does, Buck will likely go through years of court in a nasty custody battle with Eddie's parents, which is a whole other can of worms and fodder for a good angst fic if anyone wants to write it.)

And even knowing that hypothetical, I don't think Tommy would walk away. First off, it's hypothetical and ending a relationship over something that may or may not happen would be really immature and silly. Second off, that's a very different scenario than the traditional "should we have kids" situation.

Chris is fourteen years old. Granted, due to disability, he's going to have high support needs and will likely stay with his family most of his life, but he's still only a few years away from being an adult. And Tommy knows and clearly cares about Chris a lot; there's no reason to think he'd have an issue with Chris remaining in his life even if there's no Eddie along with him.

Second off, there's a big difference between "I don't want to go through all the difficulties of obtaining and raising a child" and "I don't want to look after my best friend's teenage son after a (presumably) horrific tragedy." We've seen in the show how difficult having a child is for LGBT couples via Hen and Karen! It would be completely understandable for Tommy to look at all the trouble and heartache they went through and decide he can't handle it.

And third off, if a situation arose that would place Christopher in Buck's custody, Tommy would be able to decide at that point when it's actually a reality if he wants to be a part of that. He may decide no, he can't be a father under any circumstance, even one like this, and walk away. He might decide actually yes, he does want to be involved, and there's a difference between a baby or young child he has to help mold and the nearly-grown teenager he already cares about.

Point is, Tommy and Buck's relationship does not and should not center on Eddie. Yes, Eddie is important to both of them, but whatever problems they face should be about their relationship, not a what-if scenario. (And lbr, unless Ryan Guzman really, REALLY wants off the show, the writers aren't going to kill him off. And after seven seasons of Hen and Karen dealing with the trials and tribulations of adoptive children, I really doubt the writers would repeat themselves by having Buck and Tommy go through it as well.)

[hyperlexichypatia]

CN: This post is about child abuse.

I was talking to a younger neurodivergent person about their horrifically abusive childhood, which included their parents beating them, drugging them, and sending them to abusive therapies, and for some reason my immediate thought was: That's so unfair, you shouldn't be allowed to beat your children AND pathologize them!

To be clear. I believe you should be allowed to do NEITHER of those things. Physical abuse and psychiatric abuse are both wrong!

But at minimum, you should at least have to choose between old-school, authoritarian, beating, yelling, physical-abuse-based parenting and new-school, authoritative, pathologizing, psychiatrizing, emotional-abuse-based parenting. They're mutually incompatible Abuse Philosophies!

The one (1) good, semi-redeeming thing about the psychiatrization of childhood and parenting is that it teaches that beating children is bad for them. Truly the only beneficial thing about it!

I remember reading about local schools adopting a "positive behavior interventions" system, and having mixed feelings about it -- Behaviorism is abuse, absolutely. But I live in an area where the largely unquestioned cultural norm is to deal with children by beating them. If parents can't be persuaded in a day to convert to neurodiversity-affirming, youth-affirming, gentle discipline, isn't getting them to deal with children's "bad behavior" by taking away stickers better than what they're currently doing? Is "positive behavior intervention" the lesser evil, in this case?

But is it? Is it even effective at that? What's to stop parents from sending their kids to behavioral therapy and also beating them? I honestly don't know.

Whenever mad liberation people argue against psychiatric abuse (forced drugging, coercive therapy, institutionalization, etc), pro-psychiatric-coercion people always defend it as better than "the alternative" of physical abuse. It's always "Would you rather they go to prison? Would you rather they be homeless? Would you rather they get beaten or shot by police?"

And of course, that's a false choice, because we would rather neither! We would rather disabled/Mad/neurodivergent people be free. Not abused or coerced in any way at all!

In addition, I'm reminded of something my partner said about men who brag about being "nice guys who don't abuse women like those other men do": Even if they're telling the truth (which, often, they're not), the value of this as a braggable claim is dependent on abusers being widespread. Mediocre men benefit from the widespread existence of abusive men, by getting to be the less-bad alternative to something worse.

The same is true of psychiatric abuse being "better than" physical abuse: Even if psychiatric wards and group homes are better than prisons, even if therapizing children is better than beating them, even if social workers are less abusive than police, even if all these things are true, the argument for psychiatric abuse relies on keeping physical abuse as an option on the table.

And even so, to circle back to my original point: Does psychiatric abuse even prevent physical abuse? Certainly not always. It also doesn't prevent poverty or homelessness -- we always point out that it's possible to materially support people without controlling them, but also, it's possible to control people without materially supporting them at all. Stripping people of their autonomy in order to get them financially provided for... doesn't actually get them financially provided for.

I also talked to a younger neurodivergent person who was kicked out of their parents' home at age 18. Gee, I thought the entire purpose of reclassifying young adults as still-children, and disabled adults as forever-children, was to prevent that from happening? I thought we had to endorse abusive parenting because the alternative is homelessness? Turns out, people with abusive parents can still end up homeless!

The status of youth rights and disability rights is so messed up. Parents can do essentially whatever they want to their children (especially if their children are disabled). It's disgusting and it's morally reprehensible at every level. I don't have an uplifting ending for this one.

[adorawasright]

frosta would've been a way more interesting character if she were the more diplomatic and quiet princess she was introduced as.

like yeah, frosta should be allowed to be a kid, but comparing her s1 self to her s2-5 self is jarring. she just suddenly becomes that chaotic kid. i would've loved to see her actually developing as a character. i felt like she didn't have any character arc in the show. her wanting to befriend glimmer was rlly more about glimmer, who didn't have many friends and was too attached to bow as we saw in the princess prom. besides that, her brief interactions with micah just felt cheap, too. it was more about micah being nervous about meeting glimmer again than like. frosta dealing with the fact her parents died. (i don't remember if they explicitly brought it up, but it was probably not that important). she is basically a plot device.

frosta seemed like the child that matured way too early, and that should've been touched upon better. imagine frosta seeing how immature the other princesses are, and calling them out on their bullshit. and i'm not saying that a child should lecture older ppl (i wouldn't call them adults honestly), but frosta wasn't the kind to suddenly throw punches. she seemed more observant and only intervened when things got too ugly (like when adora fought catra in the prom). and of course, i would've liked to see frosta slowly realizing she doesn't have to be the adult, she doesn't have to handle things on her own. kind of like how steven in su was the savior and the voice of reason to everyone, only to slowly unlearn that and prioritize himself.

i'm aware spop is rlly not the deep kind of show (unless you're catra i guess), and it definitely didn't care about the princesses as characters. but frosta had a different thing going on. she had a different personality. probably bc of her ice powers, but also bc of her tragic background. but yeah, as many other fans have said, frosta pretty much became a lame version of toph. which is weird to me. frosta would've been the opposite of toph, given the latter was oppressed and smothered by her parents (especially due to her disability), while the former LOST her parents at a young age. toph rejects her background while frosta seems to stay in her lane to keep everything under control.

i don't know why they did frosta so dirty like this. i think kids could've resonated with her initial personality.

[broken-endings]

The Earth Avatar

So one thing Legend of Korra did great was make sure not to repeat most story and character beats from The Last Airbender.

Aang was a simple monk with spiritual upbringing, communing with nature and peace. He was also out of his time, and being introduced to this world as an audience we learned about all forms of bending as Aang learned about all forms of bending. Culminating in ending a long war.

Korra was a rough and tough gal with a rural upbringing. Punch first, ask questions later. She was one with bending that came easy, because we the audience already knew about the forms of bending. One thing we never saw through Aang was the struggle to learn airbending. So like a 4th book to the first series, we got to see the avatar learn airbending. Korra was sheltered never traveling like her past life, and so we see the new Republic city through her eyes. Someone who has never been to the city. The rest of her story builds on lore in the world and the evolution of the people in it. Each season she faced a different "tyrant" whose stance has good intentions but they become villains.

I'm trying to think of what types of things neither series touched on that the 3rd series could explore. The only things we know are -They're an Earth Kingdom native -Their only past life connection will be with Korra

What kinds of stories have we not seen the avatar go through? Let me speculate below

My first thought is highly desirable but feels unlikely which would be for this avatar to be nonbinary. Having the Korrasami ending makes it feel not totally impossible. But I'm not holding my breath for this one.

Have the Avatar be an adult. The original audience of the series are all adults now. It would be fitting to have a series about an adult avatar.

Learn about the new avatar gradually through flashbacks. Perhaps there could be a mystery tied to information they've forgotten or are trying to keep hidden.

Have the avatar grow up in the city, and be forced to adjust to being thrown into a rural environment (opposite of Korra). Learning about the differences in life between the two.

Have the avatar be a parent. We haven't witnessed what it's like to be a young child with an avatar parent. We've only seen the avatar's children as adults.

Expand on the treatment of nonbenders. this was the biggest plot point that LoK kind of abandoned once Amon was gone.

Possibly discover a way to reconnect the avatar to all previous past lives. With only Korra as a guide, I feel like she might not excel at guidance, so being able to reconnect to history could empower this avatar. Just like Korra reconnected to her bending.

The previous avatar spirits have been zen and helpful. Korra's spirit should challenge that cliche. Perhaps her spirit gets angry with the avatar and she ignores them at times.

Have this avatar be an intellectual. Korra had a jock personality (gryffindor). Aang had a goofball, spiritual personality (hufflepuff). Perhaps this avatar reads and studies about everything in theory but struggled to put it into practice (ravenclaw).

Have this avatar have a physical disability. Toph was blind, we saw a waterbender with no arms. It would be new to see an avatar that is perhaps deaf or hard of hearing, be unable to walk, colorblind, or have only one seeing eye.

Have the avatar deal with death. Aang learns about all the people he lost but he never lost someone right in front of him. If this series is permitted to not be a kids show, it could deal with death head-on.

Have the avatar be one that needs redemption (slytherin). Now this is unlikely, but what if we were introduced to an avatar that rejected destiny and made selfish choices, and we learn all the things that pushed them down that path, maybe it would be too much of a repeat of Zuko's journey. But there are more ways to build a redemption arc.

[agentem]

Marvel Television Ranking (Disney+ era)

Someone asked me which Marvel shows are worth watching and I made a whole post about it. I watched all of them so you don't have to!

You Should Watch:

WandaVision - This show suffers from Marvel's need to have a final CGI battle (the final episode is let down from the previous). But it's Marvel's best use of the TV format. The emotions of it are so strong and it is genuinely a watchable sitcom in places. And it makes you believe that young girl would fuck that robot in a way Infinity War didn't really do.

2. Loki Season One -- There are a few middle episodes that feel slow in this series, but overall this is probably the best one in terms of consistency. Also high concept, with a strong ensemble. Season Two is fine but would be in a lower tier.

3. Ms Marvel - It's a good stand alone show and Marvel does not seem to be backing down on Iman Vellani being central to the MCU going forward (even though the Marvels was poorly received). So you need to know Kamala and also you're welcome because she's adorable.

These Are Good Shows If You Have Time:

4. Hawkeye - It's not as good as the Fraction run in the comics it is based on and it starts a bit slow, but once Echo shows up it's fun. Plus it's a Christmas theme!

5. Avengers 97 - It was my jam as a kid. It's still my jam as an adult. Not really for children though. I am bummed I can't show it to my nephews (character death, genocide, oddly sexualized Magneto, the whole comics shebang).

6. Moon Knight - If you like hippo goddesses and watching Oscar Isaac act with himself, this is the show for you. So far this series has not connected to the wider MCU in any way. The stand-alone-ness of this series is both a strength and a weakness. You can just watch it! But if you are looking to advance the "overall" plot of the MCU then this could feel "pointless" to some. (I'd argue the hippo is the point.)

These Shows Have Issues

7. She Hulk: Attorney at Law: Dudebros on the internet will make you think this is the worst thing Marvel has ever done and that is not the case. But it is hit or miss, and the comedy is women-centric. I actually prefer the more comedic sitcom moments (like the episode in the yurt). You also have to be able to watch bad CGI a lot; it's like they didn't have time to finish it which is probably what really happened. I grew up in the 90s so I have no problem with wonky CGI.

8. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier - I really wanted to like this because Red, White and Black was one of those comics that you read and thought, "of course. This is what would've happened." But mostly it's a let down. Plot points were changed due to the pandemic and it is... noticeable. Anyway, Carl Lumbly is great and if you just want to watch his scenes, then I wouldn't judge you.

9. What If...? I like this one but it feels super skippable. It's like the thing for people who want more Marvel all the time when the culture is dealing with Marvel overload. (Yes, I watched all of it.) I do want to see Jeffrey Wright in live action soon though.

Just NO.

10. Echo -- Very sad to say this because I think the impulse to give Alaqua Cox (she is a disabled, indigenous actress who had never been on TV before) more to do after her debut in Hawkeye was a generous one. But this wasn't thought out enough as it needed to be.

11. Secret Invasion -- It hurts me that this was bad. Luckily Samuel L. Jackson is a pro at being good in bad projects. Simply watching Olivia Coleman's scenes on YouTube would be more satisfying than the show.

[gaybd1]

Yes, hello, hi! I would love to see any of the dialogue you want to share from your Love Lives in Injuries and Those Who Know Them.

Sure! For context this was supposed to kind of tie together this post about Sokka and disability and these posts (and a ton more like it) about the issues and trauma he's always dealt with and how he would be after the war. We see a lot (including from me) about Sokka helping Zuko through some stuff after the war, but it's time to flip the tables

So this was meant to be Sokka learning how to be vulnerable and accept help from others and we would have seen some cute scenes of Zuko taking care of him on his bad days, like using his firebending to heat Sokka's leg, omg

That's the vision I had from the title, which by the way comes from this post I saw the other day by @zukkaart

anyway im rambling again. i didnt get to a LOT of the cute stuff before this got too long and out of hand and begged to be abandoned but here are three of my favorite dialogue scenes I'd written

between sokka and katara:

“Sokka, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” “Can you honestly tell me if you would have been able to fix it?” “...Maybe not. I’m sorry…” “Don’t be sorry.” “I’m still mad at you for not involving me in this for almost a decade. You’re very lucky you weren’t nearby when I first got Zuko’s letter.” “I know, but–” “Sokka, what have we been working on? We’re both adults. You don’t need to protect me anymore. The war is over. You can ask for help. Zuko was right there for you this whole time and–” “Old habits die hard, I guess…” “Sokka–” “How are the kids?” “...They’re fine... Kya’s coming along really well with her bending. Does that hurt?” “Always.” “Has the brace been helping at all?” “I thought the new one I made would help more, and I know it is helping but I still…” “And your other knee and hips?” “Yeah, it’s definitely starting to spread.” “Well, not spreading technically, but the way you’ve learned to walk around the injury is starting to permanently affect your other joints…” “Uh huh. So what happens now?” “I’m gonna give it to you straight. If you keep on working as hard as you do, that’s all going to get worse. I’m surprised you aren’t feeling it more in your back yet.” “Spirits, I’m so tired of–” “Listen first, okay? I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I think we both know how lucky you are after falling from that airship. I’m glad it’s taken this long for it to catch up to you.” “But?” “But… It’s only going to keep getting worse– Let me finish! You need to hear this. You need to make some changes. If you keep training as hard as you are and pushing yourself so much, it’s going to get worse faster.” “You can’t ask me to stop training, Katara. You know how much it means to me. I need to–” “Sokka. I know how you feel. But you don’t need to work so hard to protect us anymore, okay? Zuko can take care of himself, and he has Suki and all of his guards. Aang and I have been on our own for years now. The war is over. Let us take care of you for a change.” “You know I can’t–” “I’m not asking you to just sit around the palace. You just need to change up your schedule and routine, can you do that for me? Healer Sano can help organize some new exercises for you.” “Fine. I get it.” “You need to start taking more advantage of your downtime. Sit when you can. Stay inside and rest at least one day a week. I should recommend more, but I know you…” “I get it, Katara. I do. Thank you.” “There’s one more thing. You’re not going to like it.” “...What.” “You need to start using a cane.” “...” “Sokka?” “Katara. I’m not even thirty-five years old.” “I know, and like I said, it’s amazing you’ve made it so long without needing it. There’s no shame in–” “I’m too young to need that.” “Sokka. We both know you can barely walk across the palace anymore without needing to sit down. This will help you.” “I can’t– I don’t want–” “Sokka. Look at me. This has been coming for a long time and I know you’ve been ignoring it, but it’s time to accept that there are just some things you can’t do anymore and that you need help to do the things you still can.” “I–” “It’s important to have these feelings. Don’t feel bad for them. You need to work through the anger and shame and whatever else you’re feeling. You can talk to me or you can talk to Zuko, and I know it’s hard for you to talk through anything, but it’s important that you do talk to someone so you can work past this. Don’t bottle it up again.”

and after between sokka and zuko

“How did it go with Katara?” “Didn’t she tell you?” “Only a little. How are you feeling?” “Fine.” “Should I ask you again?” “I’m… okay.” “Can I ask why you aren’t using the cane?” “I… have complicated feelings about it.” “Can I help you try to work through them?” “I… okay.” “So do you think it would help your overall pain?” “Yeah.” “And do you think it could help keep the rest of your complications at bay a little bit longer?” “I guess so, yeah.” “But you still feel… weird about it?” “Mm-hmm.” “Okay. Do you think people will… judge you for using a cane?” “No, not at all. It’s… not about how I would be perceived. I don’t think.” “But…?” “I… I don’t know. I feel like I’m giving in. Like I’m admitting to myself that I have this weakness.” “Hm.” “The logical part of my brain knows that’s not true, that it’s not a weakness, that actually the cane would help the weakness, but it still feels like I’m giving up!” “...” “I can’t explain it. I feel like I’m finally being forced to acknowledge that there are things I can’t do anymore and that terrifies me.” “Why?” “I… I need to…” “...” “I need to be able to protect you.” “Babe… I understand that this would be hard for you with everything you’ve been working through since the war. I respect that and I wish you could be dealing with anything else right now. But you know you don’t need to protect me, right?” “If there were another assassination attempt and I couldn’t get to you–” “Baby, there hasn’t been an assassination attempt in years. You saved my life countless times and I’m grateful, but we’re in a time of peace now and you’ll never need to do that again. Besides, there are dozens of guards around at all times.” “I know…” “And more importantly. If there were another attempt and you weren’t able to get to me in time because of your injury, would it be the cane’s fault?” “No! And that’s what I hate! That my own body has betrayed me to the point that I’m not even able to do what I’ve always been good at.” “Sokka. The war is over. I know this whole ordeal has brought back a lot of that stuff for you, but it’s been over for a long time.” “Yeah.” “And you’re good at a lot of things that aren’t affected at all. Does your leg have anything to do with your ability to work on any of your inventions?” “You’re right.” “I’m here for you, babe. Agni knows you’ve been here for me more times than I can count. I know you’re going to be angry about this and I know it’s something you’re going to have to keep adjusting to, but I’m here to go through it all with you.” “I love you so much.” “I’m here for your good days and your bad days. Don’t be afraid to ask me for anything. If I need to cancel a meeting to sit in bed with you, I’ll do it. If you’re too tired to walk back from dinner, I’ll carry you. Anything. There’s no shame in letting others take care of you. You’re safe here.” “I believe you. Thank you”

and later, because it's just so visceral...

“Babe, why is your cane in the turtle duck pond?” “Oh, is that where it ended up?” “Sokka. What’s going on?” “...Having a bad day.” “Yeah, I gathered.” “It’s so beautiful out. And the first thought I had when I woke up was that I wanted to take you for a picnic up the volcano.” “But you weren’t feeling up to it.” “I hate this shit sometimes.” “I know, babe. It really gets to you at times like this. But we can still have a picnic closer to home. The gardens are fine.” “Yeah, okay.”

[afterthefuneral]

I know I should make more Beetlebabes art, but I'm working on a bit of a passion project at the moment. A sequel to Cradle to Grave, The Swan Song of a Dying Girl. It follows the life of Bellatrix Deetz, the daughter of Beetlejuice and Lydia. It's a little more of a young adult novel as opposed to a strict fanficiton. But I'm enjoying writing it, which is what counts. Growing up, I knew some really eccentric kids, and I myself was a bit of an asshole. My therapist says I should write a book about my childhood, and this is sort of a stepping stone to get to that. Everything Bellatrix does is something either I did, or I witnessed a classmate do. This story will deal with some heavy topics, including disability, child neglect, alcoholism, mental illness, bullying, loss, and love.

Quick 5 minute doodle of Bellatrix as a teen. She takes after her father strongly, which isn't easy when you're a 16 year old girl. But she doesn't care that her eyes are dark, her hair is ragged, or her teeth are crooked. She's too busy planning her next prank.

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

I do agree with the general statement of your post (that is, products should include warnings). I also thank you for acknowledging that seizures can cause death. I'm in the epilepsy community (although I am not photosensitive myself) and I can not stress how much negative pushback we've gotten from some spiderverse fans just for pointing out that a seizure could lead to death.

I will argue though that with spiderverse in particular, I think it was negligent on the part of the creators and studio to release those films as it currently is. People can be diagnosed with photosensitive epilepsy at any age but is especially common at the age between 7-19. The spiderverse films are a mainstream product primarily aimed at that age group. No matter what kind of warnings there are for the film, kids that age will probably not know if they are photosensitive until they are watching the film and have a seizure in a public place.

I also find that the inaccessibility of the films to photosensitive people completely undercuts the films inclusive nature. Like I have never before seen so many arguments that "art isn't supposed to be accessible for everyone" and that photosensitive people should just deal with being locked out of the conversation until these films. Not foing to lie, it's a little hurtful seeing it come from the wider disability community too.

i don't really have a response to the point re: it being mainstream and targeted towards a young audience; i think it's definitely a discussion to have, but overall i think that the phenomenon of targeting age demographics as marketing demographics is a bad one, which only evolved for monetary purposes, and the idea that age is a good predictor for taste in art and preferred complexity of topics is fundamentally flawed. essentially: yeah, i get you, but the angle i'm coming at this from is that we should really stop ~marketing media towards minors or adults~ to begin with and let the content of the art stand on its own.

re: inclusiveness: i also get you, but like. any art whose message is inclusiveness is going to intentionally exclude a significant portion of disabled people. there is no possible way for a piece of art to be accessible to all disabled people, because disability is such a broad category that every single access need directly conflicts with at least one other access need, possibly dozens.

i tend to prefer that artists openly reckon with which disabilities they're excluding from access to their art and why. i know it's an uncomfortable thing to reckon with, but like... the idea that all art has the chance to be equally accessible to all people and the only reason it isn't is lack of effort re: inclusion on the artist's part... is just a straight up lie. there isn't any way to reconcile two directly conflicting access needs, much less dozens of directly conflicting access needs, so rather than push that under the rug and act like some access needs are superior and as long as they're fulfilled the art is blanket "accessible" to all, i would much rather artists openly discuss what groups of disabled people they are prioritizing in accessibility and why.

(in the case of spiderverse movies in particular: back when the first one came out years ago, i engaged with some talk in some smaller low-vision spaces about the film's bright colors and overall eye-strain being actually more accessible to some individuals, because it made it easier for them to see the broad shapes and movements than most movies at the time. directly conflicting needs. while it's almost definitely unintentional on the spiderverse team's part, i would rather them know about it and grapple with the difficult decision of who to include vs. exclude publicly, rather than sweep the whole thing under the rug or act like one group's accessibility needs are obviously more important than the others.)

like... it's a difficult conversation to have, because i genuinely have a lot of empathy for being permanently locked out of engaging with a piece of art that i love a lot because of its inaccessible nature (i have a couple of different video game series that i love and Can Never Play, and i also can't mod them to make them easier to play, because the ways they're inaccessible to me are the fundamental point of the art). but i also at the same time have to balance that with my material experience of being a person whose access needs directly and 100% conflict with other disabled people's access needs, the material experience of understanding very firsthand that there is no possible way for some art to be accessible to me, ever, even in a world where everyone cared about accessibility, because other disabled people exist too. and like. idk! it's a weird fucking emotional space to be in! i at the very least would like for everyone involved to tackle it head-on, instead of playing the game we currently seem to be playing where 1) mainstream artists do not grapple with these concepts at all, nor do they clearly label which disability needs are included vs. excluded in any of their art, 2) we in disability spaces act like there is one universal measure of "accessibility in art" and if you are excluded by that measure then your needs are not from genuine disability or your disability simply is not included in disability activism.

[queerasflux]

So I've been struggling real bad with working through some old childhood trauma, and my therapist asked me to sit down and write down everything my mother did to me that was just like, Objectively Not Okay- and jesus christ. I always just sort of assumed that like, yeah, my mom wasn't the most perfect mom, but she was doing her best and meant well.

then I just... couldn't stop writing. and the more I wrote, the more I realized that hey, this was straight up abusive. not just "made a few mistakes but generally well-meaning as a parent" but like honest to god "what the fuck is wrong with you and why would you do that to a child" shit, and I'm just so angry and I don't know where to put it.

I'm tired of people telling me that I must forgive/give my mother some slack, because she's my mom and she was also traumatized and "did her best"- as if being traumatized is a free pass to abuse others, or that it somehow negates the emotional and mental toll it took on me to be raised by someone like her.

I'm angry that I can't even confront her about these things, because she will immediately either get defensive/aggressive at me, or will invalidate it (it wasn't that bad/wasn't as bad as what her mom did/she didn't mean it that way), or hop up on the pity potty and want to be comforted that yeah, even though she severely abused her child, she's not a bad mom, right?

Really just struggling with things rn. List under cut, because I think other people should also be aware this shit is Not Okay, and because I'm tired of covering up for my mother's bad behavior, and not being allowed to talk about it or how it hurt me because of how it may reflect on her.

A (very) abridged and generalized list of shit my mom has done that was straight up fucked up and abusive and Not Okay that I was convinced was "not that bad" for literal decades.

Beat the shit out of her autistic kid having meltdowns, joked years later about "beating the autism" out of me, never got me tested for autism/ADHD/any other neurodivergency, I had to get diagnosed myself at 28

stayed married to a man that was not only physically abusive, but who she (rightfully!) suspected of being a pedophile

constantly ripped her children from places once they'd established friendships/finally settled in at school with no warning, apology, support system, or any way to contact old friends

when her child who is very smart starts struggling very badly in school (for above reasons and also because she was drinking heavily and was too busy partying to help her kid), decides the best option is not to get the kid tested/help in school, but to simply scream at them that they're just like their abusive father

medically neglects her children- one of whom didn't get glasses until they were 13 and had a note sent home from school. same kid becomes partially deaf in ear later due to medical neglect, and eventually ends up with several disabilities as an adult from things that could have been prevented or mitigated from childhood

repeatedly put children in the path of her own abusive mother, who she knew and described as abusive, and who she knew (commented on and joked about!) was targeting one of her children specifically

when I get depressed over that, and come to her asking for help because I'm suicidal, she proceeds to mock me for (actual quote) "needing [my] mommyyyyyyy", does not get me into therapy

despite never getting her children treatment for their own mental illness or being someone they could confide in, perfectly able and willing to use her children as free therapists, from as young as 6 years old.

constant breaches of trust/privacy- instead of simply talking to children or listening to them when they have a problem, she decided to simply read journals, chats/emails, anything private, then becomes angry when confronted.

The first two times I came out to her, she just ignored it because she didn't want to have to deal with it and thought I would just drop it

The third and final time I came out, she said I was mutilating my body, that my fiance would stop loving me and no one else would ever want me, and that I was holding her hostage/betraying her.

again, the most generalized/abridged version of what she's done, and seeing it all down just... disgusts and enrages me. this is not okay behavior. this is child abuse, emotional abuse, just sickening behavior in general, and this whole time I've been making excuses. Because I was taught/told that I "had to understand" because she had been traumatized, so that somehow made my own trauma acceptable? Because she wasn't as bad as her mother, I was expected to praise her and never hold her accountable for her behaviors and actions. I am expected to give her kudos and a gold medal for meeting the bare minimum of food/shelter, as if that's not the absolute bare minimum that doesn't get your kids taken away, and that animals in the animal kingdom do without any sort of celebration every day. a leopard doesn't get a mother's day card for feeding her cubs, she has to do that or they fucking die.

I'm just angry, and I need to get it out somewhere. I am sure this will be eventually seen/found by my sister, and like, sorry buddy but I can't be quiet any more, and I'm not making excuses for her any more. She was abusive. Is abusive. And I don't have to put up with it any more.

[brightlotusmoon]

From the Facebook page Autistic Women And Nonbinary Network.

-

Such an important post!

*Caption below and image description by Nina Tame

“Disabled kids grow up to be disabled adults. If they’re getting questions now imagine dealing with that for the rest of your life.

Empower them with the choice to choose to answer if they want to but equally they can tell someone to fuuuuck right off or whatever the child equivalent of that is 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Checking in with your kid to see how they feel about being asked these questions. Maybe they don’t mind, maybe they like talking about it and that’s cool but also maybe they don’t so let’s give them options for that too.”

ID: seven slides of text that reads

Sharing a disabled kids medical details to anyone who asks, doesn’t normalise disability. It normalises disabled people being seen as medical curiosities.

You wouldn’t expect a nondisabled kid to share details of their last doctors appointment with a stranger on the street so why do we expect disabled kids to?

I’m disabled and so is one of my kids. A really lovely well meaning person with a toddler in tow asked my husband if it was ok to ask about my sons leg brace. My husband said no it wasn’t (never fancied him more).

It’s not because it’s a big shameful secret. It’s just what do you think it is? It’s quite obviously a device that helps him walk, you know like how glasses are a device to help you see. Do you need to interrupt our day for that?

With other kids and adults our kid knows that he can answer if he wants. He can make up a story if he wants. He can tell em “My Mum said I don’t have to answer that” if he wants and sometimes he just eye rolls and walks away.

Disabled kids shouldn’t have to be mini educators around their medical conditions. They should get the same privacy and autonomy as anyone else. They should just get to be kids.

Maybe your kid doesn’t mind having their medical details shared with strangers now but will they feel the same as a teen? As an adult? Explaining to them from a young age that their medical details aren’t public property and it’s their choice whether to share or not is one of the most empowering things you can do for them.

# DisabledParenting # DisabledAndProud

-

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02LpBYESxPKvDZJUb7Nw7r6nSkHm3jnEuuiPwYZtQfrciggcnwtkxj9bqvSji6HLJXl&id=100064856373594

[pet-shop-of-horror-fan]

8: What sort of disability representation would you consider ideal for you?

And

11: What is one question, idea, or talking point about [your] disability that you are so tired of?

For the disability ask game!

8: We need all kinds but in general, I like disability rep that deals with ableism but does not focus on it. It's a part of the character's life but it's not the main point of their story. It's either a side plot, an episode, or even just a scene.

11: For abled people, when I say I am in pain 24/7, I mean it. I know that can be hard for you to wrap your head around but if I am annoyed with your lack of understanding, it's because I actually have to deal with my illnesses. I don't have the privilege to ponder what that might be like as you get to. I live it.

11: For chronically ill people, you can get sick at any age. We don't all become ill when we are young adults. I became sick as a kid and people can be born ill. And we should not be ignoring elderly people just because we expect them to become disabled.

[krowspiracyanon]

I’m not sure I hugely like Bsky actually.

It’s great that it’s an alternative platform to Tumblr where there are people/fandoms I’m familiar with but it seems to push ‘reach’ and ‘engagement’ and be overly transparent in a bad way.

Say for example I shared something, used a hashtag, bam - very quickly a minor has seen it and is in my notifications due to interacting with my post.

(In this case that happened when I recently re-shared a fanart of the game Mouthwashing - but after seeing repeated issues with minors in adult spaces over the years it was kind of a last straw and just aggravated me too much. I went through the likes and pre-emptively blocked over 100 minors from that pic alone.

Mouthwashing is a great game btw, quite subtle thoughtful and deep, but trigger warnings apply. Seriously not for children.)

Or if I like/reply to something from a NSFW artist or a dark game - well then that’s also fully visible and then can lead to underage or puritanical people coming into my other small fandoms. And then I get to deal with it in there.

It makes me stressed out and very cranky in my leisure time, and has been leading me to self censor even harder than I did on Tumblr.

I’ve long been feeling monitored and aware that almost anything inconsequential can be dug up as a weapon later should someone decide they have any issue with you. You’re not in control of how people interpret your work or respond. And the optics (and feeling) of kids engaging with adults in 18+ spaces are terrible.

So yes. Things stay off the net or don’t get made. It’s probably part of this art block.

A fic where someone marginalised on multiple axes is eventually forced by their circumstances to make a complex and risky choice - it doesn’t get written. Same for disability or death.

Anything vaguely sensual does not get drawn. Any romance is vanilla and YA. A horror is not allowed to horror.

Anyone young gets blocked.

I don’t post about the other dark indie horror games I’m a fan of because I don’t want to deal with any of it there.

I’m annoyed that I have to self censor and babify adult spaces for people that shouldn’t even be in them and would not comprehend what I was actually communicating. It’s infuriating and unfair. But I’m just so tired of feeling stressed out, don’t want to be blamed for things I don’t control and don’t want to have any beef with anybody for any reason.

I don’t want ‘reach’. I don’t want engagement if it’s the unwanted kind. I’m old by fandom standards and I’m tired.

In a way as bad as Tumblr is it at least seems more like somewhere you can control more of your interactions and have more privacy, you’re able to stick with smaller circles. (I do notice many more issues when some piece of media goes viral.)

Still I’ll keep Bsky as a backup and maybe update sometimes. (Even though it also has AI.) Because Tumblr. But I just feel it isn’t really my style and has kind of aggravated me.

Fingers crossed that I find somewhere I feel more comfortable. I basically just want somewhere peaceful I can live in the eel crevice with the moots. Something more like old Tumblr.

[overlordbravery]

Summary: Jeremiah get’s himself in trouble as per usual and gets saved by his childhood best friend. They have an argument about a lot of things.

Word Count: 5,074

Note: Because I’m thinking of my new blorbo I wrote a thing for him. I will undoubtedly draw Amy and Veteran soon. In the mean time here’s what Jeremiah looks like [ X ]

Jeremiah wondered if he should spend his free time practicing escaping a trunk.

Which would be a bizarre thing to a normal person, but Jeremiah found himself shoved in one more than he would like to admit. It felt almost normal at this point, and really that was such a frustrating thing to realize as he tugged at his bindings with a frustrated groan.

Maybe he would enlist the help of his friend Amy, he was sure sometimes she would love to tie him up shove him in some dark dank trunk, and then go fuck off while he worked diligently on escaping. But because he hadn’t done that, he found he was really struggling, trying to figure out how he was bound so he could at least feel around for the trunk release. But he was blindfolded, and his arms were tied very tightly to his torso. Veteran didn’t take chances with him, not that he could blame the man… don’t get him wrong he definitely was blaming Veteran, but he understood at the same time.

He didn’t want him to get away.

Unfortunately, or fortunately for Jeremiah, he got away often. A lot of the time thanks to Amy, she was always looking out for him. Well, she was too busy recently, working with a League of Superheroes trying to make the world a better place. She always was that way, even when they were kids, the second her powers came she was constantly working on helping people. Jeremiah was the only one who really knew she just wanted to take all her rage out on some thugs.

That she hoped one day to just get killed and not have to deal with it all anymore.

Jeremiah always helped her, eager to put his own powers to the test. If you could even call them “powers”, sure, he had a marker on his driver’s license that marked him as a mutant. As unconstitutional as that sounded, it started “in a good place” but that was what most Fascists say when they change a system to specifically call out someone they considered “other”. They really did think it was a good idea, marking criminals that were blessed or cursed with superpowers, tagging them in a way so cops knew and that they could get the “special” treatment. That was how it started, and then people started to get flagged in the system. Orphans usually so parents could know what they were getting into when they adopted a kid.

Then it started to be flagged in schools.

And before you knew it, most mutants were tagged as preteens. It never seemed right to him, even if it took forever for people to discover his powers. Super Genius was the supposed term, but it was just like any other neurodivergence in the world and harder to pin down. Had the usual problems most smart kids had. Struggled paying attention in class due to boredom and lack of challenge, troublemaker because of it. Only had good grades on tests because he didn’t bother to apply himself on anything else. It was the IQ test that had him on some radars.

And then there was the whole engineering and inventing thing at a young age, things he shouldn’t know and was never taught in school. But the engineering books he stole from the library were more interesting than anything the school was teaching. A few more tests later and he was marked as a super genius, which everyone in his adult life wanted his brain because of it. Not physically of course, that would render him useless, but he was forced into many situations where he built and disabled some intense killing machines for people.

Amy kept telling him he should join the League. That he would have the protection he needed there, that he would be less likely to be kidnapped and forced into things if he was constantly surrounded by other heroes. But Jeremiah prided himself on being a lone wolf type… at least that’s what he would tell Amy. He didn’t like the idea of working with a team, he didn’t like the idea of working under someone with a superiority complex.

But they both knew the truth. He wondered when Amy would call him out on it, that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to work with a team. But rather he didn’t want other people's morals forced upon him, he didn’t want to lose the thrill and adrenaline rush of his underground works which would be put to a stop. He would always say it wasn’t anything bad, even if his inventions could be responsible for some thug or hooligan killing people. He didn’t design it for the purpose necessarily, he only made them because he could.

He took in a deep breath when he realized the car had stopped moving, and before he could question what was happening the trunk door opened and he was very roughly pulled out of the trunk and thrown to the floor. He complained about the treatment through his gag, groaning when he was forced to sit on his knees and eventually the blindfold was removed, leaving him face to face with Veteran. The man was pretty, an absolute asshole, but pretty at the least. His eyes were always drawn to the scar over his brow as he stared down at him with such a bored and indifferent expression.

“Jerry.” He hated that nickname, of all the ways to shorten his name, Jerry and Jeremy were his least favorite. Amy was kind enough to call him Jer or Miah… which he found he rather liked the latter. “You never showed up.” He tugged against his bindings from the statement, giving an annoyed groan hoping the man would remove the gag. And eventually he did, though he seemed like he was debating if he wanted to let him talk or not.

Bastard…

“Look, Veteran… what kind of name is that anyway. I’ve always wanted to ask, like did you name yourself that or did the press do it? Were you a vet? You don’t look like a–hey!” He turned his head to avoid the gag being put back on, only causing himself to fall. “They’re valid questions!” He pouted from his spot on the floor, staring up at the man who just grabbed him by one of the ropes and pulled him up.

“Don’t explain why ya never showed up.” His little southern accent was kind of cute. If Jeremiah looked past the whole kidnapping thing.

“Well, I told Amanda we would meet on the twelfth-”

“It’s the twenty-first.” Veteran didn’t miss a beat and honestly that had Jeremiah confused as he furrowed his brows.

“It’s the tenth.” He countered, getting an actual laugh from the man who crouched in front of him. Elbows resting on his knee pads as he got comfy in his little squat.

“Jer.” Oh good he used the nickname he liked. “It’s the twenty-first. How the hell did ya go and lose eleven days?” Actual curiosity, Jeremiah made a long “uhhh” noise trying to think back on his past eleven days that honestly only felt like two. A blur of work, passing out at his desk—

“Shit.” Coke, and one of his favorite pastimes, her name was Sunny, or rather the name he knew her by was Sunny. Showed up on the ninth with some good Coke and whiskey. “Uh… degeneracy apparently.” He laughed awkwardly, getting a heavy sigh from Veteran.

“Amanda isn’t happy. Which means she’s been a pain in my ass an’ I ain’t happy.” He watched as he stood up and walked over towards some other guys in the room. “I need to teach you a lesson. Know you need fingers to work.” He watched him pull up some bush trimmers and casually clamp them shut and open again. “Ain’t need your toes though.” A shrug of the shoulders.

“Whoa! Whoa! I do need those actually! They can pick up the tools I drop—” he grunted when some of the guys standing by grabbed him and started to drag him over to Veteran. “Veteran please, I promise it was an accident—” the sound of the door being launched off its hinges had them all turning. A masked and gunned up thug lay on the ground with the door groaning in pain as gunshots happened on the other side of the room. “Oh, thank god.” Jeremiah wasn’t religious for many reasons, but just this once he would praise the lord.

Amy, Archangel, his best friend, walked through the door, blood dripping down her arm from a wound long since healed. She walked through dragging an unconscious man behind her, but she let him go as she looked at the rest of them. Her hair pulled back into a long single braid; her expression could only be described as tired as she gave them her full attention. Wearing a pair of combat boots that went halfway up her calf. Pants tucked into them, and a white tank top tucked into those. She always looked so casual even when she spent her time fighting crime.

“Amy.” Veteran greeted with a nod of the head. The other men looked between the two powerhouses in the room. Because as far as Jeremiah was concerned Amy and Veteran were the only scary ones here.

“Veteran.” She grunted the reply with as much care as an apathetic teenager. She was already getting into a fighting stance, palms open and ready to redirect. Veteran sighed while dropping the trimmers, well more like tossing them which landed right in front of him. Jeremiah carefully moved to try and grab them so he could cut himself free as Veteran began heading over to Amy. And honestly their fights were always insane, he started to inchworm away from the chaos when Amy took her first swing.

Amy was strong, Jeremiah had seen her pick up a car with her index finger at fourteen.

Veteran on the other hand? He had Density Control.

Her hitting him made him slide back as he had his arms crossed in front of him, he could tell from Amy’s expression and from the way her hand was she broke it on his arms. He was quick to grab her before she could turn, and he threw her over his shoulder and slammed her into the floor. Only instead of it making an impact she floated through the ground, and he went through with her leaving no trace of either of them.

Part of his density control also allowed him and whatever he touched intangibility. Which was annoying as fuck if Jeremiah could be frank.

“Where are you goin, brainiac?” He managed to cut the rope as he was grabbed and pulled back to place by a goon that was waiting for orders.

“As far as I’m concerned this is over, isn’t it? Like Amy’s here now, they’re gonna fight till Veteran is too tired to withstand Amy’s strength and then she’s gonna kick your asses and take me home. Figure we can skip over the latter and you guys could just let me go.”

“Veteran could win.” Another thug pipped up getting a laugh from Jeremiah.

“Unstoppable force meets immovable object. Yes, it's very impressive. However, Amy can heal faster than he can take her down. I’ve seen her get shot in the head once, you know?” They were fifteen, it was very traumatic for him but he didn’t like to talk about it.

“Comrade Senka.” Oh, a fanboy, how great. That woman was terrifying he was glad she decided to fuck off to some other country for a while. Hopefully she will never come back, but Jeremiah was always worried. It was hard not to be, he swore if he stared at a crowd too long, he would see her, staring and smiling, homed in on him like the predator she was. “She did more than just shoot her in the head.”

Yes.

Jeremiah could remember vividly Amy falling from the gunshot to the head as Fox tried to intervene. To get him away from her, only for Amy to join in back from the dead, he could remember the way they fought in unison against her while he was dragged around under her arm… could remember the way Amy screamed when Senka clawed her across the face with the massive weapon that was more or less long knives her fingers could turn into. He could remember vividly as she ripped out Amy’s eye and cut off half of her face.

He could remember the weeks it took to heal and for her eye to grow back from her regenerative powers being exhausted from reviving her.

“You always get your ass in trouble, don’t you, Jerry?” A knowing comment, there was unfortunately some photojournalist in the area that had immaculate shots of the fight.

Of their trauma.

Posted to the news like it wasn’t a traumatic experience for teenagers to go through and be reminded of.

“Y-yeah. Guess so.” He forced a smile and laugh as he managed to loosen the ropes. And then he got up and started to run, sliding to a stop as Veteran came back up from the ground like a demon and let go of Amy as she got halfway through the floor.

“Fuck!” She yelled and coughed, blood spattering on the floor under her as she worked on trying to get herself out of the floor.

“Where you goin’?” Veteran was not unharmed. He had telltale signs of bruising and a shattered cheekbone from the look of it. Guess he was getting tired, Jeremiah stumbled back tripping over his own feet as he stared up at him.

“Home actually.”

“Can you blame him; this is a bit obsessive.” Amy grunted before punching her fist through the floor.

“It is, isn't it! Like damn, sorry I missed our date.” Amy looked at him from that as she punched the floor again, cracking it more around her.

“Stop.” Veteran gave her a warning, Amy stared up at him with that unimpressed look and then slammed both her fists on the floor. It crumbled under them, all of them, freeing Amy from her prison and dropping them a floor below into the basement of Amanda’s little warehouse. And it hurt, going from sitting on the ground to falling with rubble an entire story below. He landed smack dab on his back feeling the way it winded him. He coughed as he rolled over on his side.

“Miah! You okay?” He watched as a large piece of floor was lifted off him. He slowly sat up and nodded his head glancing up. He quickly pointed out not being able to get the words out. But Amy was quick to whip around and smack the rubble right into Veteran taking him to the floor. There was a long pause to make sure he wasn’t getting back up before she offered a hand to help him up. “Let's get home.”

“Yeah… Thank you.” He knew it would turn into a lecture. It usually did, but he was thankful she would still look out for him. He picked his pace in following her when he saw Veteran shift with a groan. Not wanting to get taken anywhere again he made sure to stay right by Amy. “You’re really the best, Ames.” He grinned hoping if he complimented her—

“I can’t keep doing this.” Her voice was stern, he rubbed the back of his neck unable to look at her as she unlocked her car and opened the door for him. He grumbled a “thank you” while climbing in. Glad to be in the front of a car rather than a trunk of one. It was a nice break as he glanced up at her mind already spinning with lies he could throw at her so she wouldn’t remain pissed at him.

“Look, it’s not that bad—” She slammed the door in his face as she walked around to get into the driver’s seat. The silence and action felt like it was taking forever, he could feel his heart in his throat with an overwhelming flow of emotions. He wanted to apologize for being a burden to her. It wasn’t like he meant to constantly be in trouble and like he constantly needed her to save him. It wasn’t a good feeling, even if he did pay her back by making her some gadgets here and there or things that would be good for her silly league.

“Join the league.” She had such a way with words as she assaulted him with them the second she got into the vehicle. Those feelings of guild began to dwindle, replaced by a sudden surge of annoyance because they had been over this time and time again.

“You know why I don’t want to do that, Amy.” Pleading almost as he looked at her. Because he still didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want this to end on a sour note like it had been last time she had to save him from some goons who wanted to use him to make them some destructive machine. Which he almost foolishly made due to them telling him he probably couldn’t. She finally looked at him as she started the car, her brow furrowed, and she had a frown on her face as she grabbed the wheel and took off like a bat out of hell. Letting silence once more fall between them. It was painful, they used to be able to talk for hours about nothing.

Now they had nothing to talk about.

“I don’t want to arrest you, Miah.” His nostrils flared from that; it was a threat. She’s bailed him out a couple times. The last time she let him rot for a day before she showed. She had been there once when he got arrested and just pulled her hood up and walked away. “But I will.”

“You’re not going to have to arrest-”

“I’ve done it before!” And she has, he’s been grappled to the floor by her. He’s been forced into handcuff when they got in a fight after she found out something he did what was wrong. He couldn’t even remember it was, he broke in somewhere and stole some stuff maybe? “Jesus, Miah, you’re working with Veteran!” Veteran, he needed to look more into him, he hardly knew anything about him, and since he didn’t wear a mask he was sure the man’s real identity was just out there. Which meant he must not have any ties, his eyes glanced over to Amy, who also didn’t bother with a mask as she also didn’t have any ties.

Only him… but if people were going to know about the Tinkerer or the Toyman they already did.

“In my defense I was just supposed to meet Amanda like ten days ago.” She growled at that. “Veteran was going to cut off my toes for not meeting Amanda.” He corrected, causing the woman to motion wildly around them.

“And these are the people you would rather work with!” Not really, but they gave fun projects to work on. They gave him something to do where he didn’t feel like a useless burden but instead a hot commodity. He felt appreciated, even if he did… end up thrown in trunks and hit a lot. “Do you hear yourself when you talk?” She rubbed her forehead with a heavy sigh before leaning her head back. That guilt was starting to creep in again, he hated to worry her. “I’m done.” He arched a brow that had a fresh cut, might turn into a scar later he never was sure, he just watched her waiting to process what she had just said to him.

“Excuse me?” To make sure he heard her correctly.

“I’m not saving you anymore.” He looked at her with a surprised expression. Scoffing a little in shock while shaking his head. Trying to find humor in this like she was joking with him.

“You don’t mean that.” She’s said it before, when he got in trouble with some gang that wanted him to unlock specialty weapons made by some big arsenal company, Caym Corp.

“I do!” She was shaking as she said that, and he could hear the emotion in her voice. “I can’t keep doing this! I’m not going to enable you anymore.” The hurt.

“Enable? Like I’m a fucking addict?” Anger fueled him now, that guilt and feeling of burden shattering in an offended defensive rage.

“I keep hoping you’ll realize it’s dangerous and come with me!” Like it was so damn easy to just sign his life away to a League that would hinder him and his creativity. Like he hadn’t already been through that many times before, like she didn’t know everything he sacrificed for her.

“I’m not built for—”

“You would be so fucking great as a Hero!” No one would know about him. But that wasn’t supposed to bother him, was it? He never wanted the spotlight, did he? He could remember the way his parents looked at him when he was in the paper, he could remember the way they found out what he was and what he could do and how his dad tried to force him into things he didn’t want. How his mother used him like everyone else in his life to make her life easier… it was better when no one knew him.

“You’re talking out your ass! I would not be a great hero!” He only ever fucked everything up. That’s what he was good at.

“You did so much for me and the town we grew up in when we had to deal with Senka.” There’s that damn name again, he would never escape her, he would never get rid of the memories of her. “What changed!?” She looked to him before looking back at the road, the drive already felt long as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the window.

What changed? What a loaded question. He still had nightmares about her, he still worried she would show up again. Nothing helped to get rid of the memories of being taken by her other than the drugs and the drinking and the distractions… working with people who could hopefully replace the memories. Or maybe it was the familiarity he was searching for. Because when he was in her grasp, when he was doing what she told him to do, he unlocked so much knowledge and potential in a field he didn’t even know he would enjoy so much.

And he was constantly, constantly chasing that damn high.

“I don’t know.” It was a lame answer that had Amy silently fuming. “I’m not doing the hero thing. I’m not risking my life for a world that’s only ever othered me.”

“So, you’d rather help destroy it?”

“They’re already doing that to themselves! I’m just sitting in my home, minding my damn business.”

“You’re making death machines for gangsters!”

“Someone was way before me!”

“But yours are incredible!” Devastating. Machines made to decimate the competition… that’s why she arrested him he remembered now. But it looked so cool, when Lockjaw shot that gun off and it and it tore through all those people… all those people… how did he get out of that one again? Had to make some more for the secret agency that deals with mutants in some deal. He still had to do whatever they wanted if they happened to barge in. One of the reasons he didn’t bother to move because he didn’t want to have to deal with all the people he had to inform on his decision.

“Horrible, you mean?” He asked with a mock laugh, cause Amy didn’t approve.

“You’re so fucking Talented, and brilliant. And you waste it.”

“I don’t waste it though, I mean, look at everything I’ve been able to do! You should see this new thing I built it’s great--” He trailed off because he could feel it, he knew exactly what she was thinking, they had been friends long enough.

“You can ask for help, you know.” She tried, tried to bring the conversation down, to turn down the heat of it as she must have remembered everything they went through. He couldn’t imagine the trauma she faced, Senka had killed her twice and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. “I’m here for you,” And she couldn’t do anything to stop her from taking him. “I'm always here.”

“You just said you weren’t going to save me anymore.” He grinned like it was a joke and she just glanced at him sadly as she continued the drive. He wondered if it felt just as long for her as it did for him.

“Please, just… try it out. If you don’t like it, you can leave. There’s nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it.” She was right about that; he ran a hand through his hair before giving a sigh. And he could feel that impulsive urge to talk about what he refused to talk about. To talk about everything, he brushed off and buried deep, deep, down in his mind. Or tried to but no matter what it always floated to the surface.

“Do you ever think about her?” He blurted it out, getting a surprised noise from Amy.

“… Her who?” He guessed not, he ran his hands over a hidden scar on his side as he looked out the window she seemed to have noticed and her expression changed to one of guilt. “Senka?” She finally asked after a while getting a small grunt in response. “She’s in a maximum-security prison… she tried to come back. I told Ophanim about her and we took her down before she could be a problem again.” He glanced over to her in shock.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“Ophanim sounded like a great person to help me with it. Jeremiah, I know you don’t like the guy, but he is efficient in his job.” Didn’t like him was an understatement… the news liked to paint them as the dynamic duo, Archangel (Even though Amy hated the title and would prefer her name) and Ophanim, the angels of Specter City. Ophanim was charismatic and great with… well everyone. Many people loved and adored Ophanim, he was a figure head for the league. And maybe Jeremiah missed when he and Amy were a duo, when they didn’t have all the press and attention as she did now.

“Oh, I see how it is, you get your new superhero buddies, and you don’t need me anymore.” There it was, that deep dark thought he never vocalized. Because it was stupid to think about, wasn’t it? Why would she need him, he made death machines, and she was a hero.

“Jeremiah.” Her voice was strained. “Do not do that, we are best friends.”

“Are we? Cause I don’t know! I’m pretty sure I would have told you if Senka showed up, or maybe you didn’t want me to know because you were worried, I would want to join her or something.”

“Stop it!” She looked hurt by that. “I was trying to protect you! She did horrible things to you, I-”

“Stop trying to protect me! I’m a grown ass man!”

“You sure don’t act like it!” It was getting heated again, he took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“Okay! Fine!” He threw his hands up, closing his eyes to blurt out his next question. “Do you ever worry she’s gonna get out?” They pulled to a stop in front of his house, and she parked as she turned to face him. He flinched from the hand on his arm, a touch offered for comfort, she did it often, but he always pulled away. He never let her except when they reunited when Amy finally managed to take Senka down. They hugged and cried for what felt like hours, but he never let it happen again. She slowly pulled her hand back, staring at the empty space between them that felt like it was growing. Because they didn’t have anything in common anymore, did they?

“Of course I do, Jer… she… she is a horrible person.”

“She is a broken person.” He said it so quickly he couldn’t stop himself. She stared at him for a moment, and he ran his hands through her hair. “Sorry.”

“I know you learned so much about her, but she wasn’t a good person. Broken, sure, but there’s other ways to go about life than trying to take over the world and commit mass genocide.”

“Was she in the wrong though? I go back and forth on it.” There was a concerned expression on her face from that.

“Jer.”

“I’m just saying I understand her is all.”

“And she can get her court mandated therapy in prison and if she gets out, which I doubt she will, she can hopefully be a better person.” He sighed from that, he doubted anyone could help- “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save you.” He could feel the heat in his eyes from a sudden rush of tears, a feeling of anger swelled in his chest and his head as he moved his hand to the car door. A voice in the back of his mind ridiculing him for feeling like crying in the first place.

“Don’t.” He cut her off, getting a saddened look for her. “It’s fine, sorry I said anything. See you later.” He opened the door and turned to look back at her. “If you don’t want to like… save me anymore.” Would they still see one another. “Will I still see you later?”

“I would prefer us to hang out as friends and not just have me as your personal savior yeah.” He gave her a thumbs up and headed back to his town house. Looking at the new for sale signs both neighbors had up. Probably spooked from Veteran and his goons showing up to kidnap him. That was fair he supposed, he casually pushed his broken door open and closed it behind him, heading downstairs to build a new door that hopefully would be harder to break.