#digital art cause i'm trying to get better

[mira-shard]

Redraw

What better way to see how I evolved as an artist than as redraw- So here we go!

2021, traditional vs....

Digital in 2024

There are def some things left to improve but I'm very happy with how this attempt turned out ^-^

[ohno-the-sun]

Oh uh forgot to ask in the previous ask (the one with the digital piece of candy and scurrying and stuff)

How do you draw art so good

Like

Is there a method you use or is that just the style you've gotten over time?

you've activated my trap card

I'm just gonna preface that this tutorial is from someone who was not professionally trained and didn't have a lot of free time for art, so a lot of the tips I have is short cuts I use to get the best results quickly

If you genuinely want to get better at art then please look at references and practice that is always the best

However if you are like me and only really do art for fun but want to go faster then these are for you pfppt

Overall I'd say my style is influenced by speedpaints I would watch when I was younger, I like analyzing how people do things and what makes something look "good" to me

I always recommend watching them because they will often have techniques you've never seen before or do things a certain way that you can try out yourself

I consume good art, it feeds me

but seriously it can be super helpful when developing your own methodology, or just generally trying something new

Usually it starts with me pulling some references from artists I really admire and sort of sketching out how they do the things I like

For example 8um8le has like super good anatomy and poses so I focused on trying to replicate how they do that

venemous-qwille is super good at color and pulling focus so that's what I focused on in my study of them

In general I'd say my process is sketch -> silhouette -> color -> shading -> render

I really don't like doing lineart lol

I'd say for the sketch the most important part is using references and just kind of fudging it until it looks correct anatomically/physically

General rule of thumb is spend time on areas of interest, and keep non important areas light (like the stitching on his pants)

I don't do lineart because I think its unnecessary for most paintings I do

I naturally tend to put more time and focus on areas of interest (like hands and feet) and if you use a brush with opacity for the sketch, those areas are naturally going to be darker in the final sketch

Of course this is gonna be different for everyone but it's what works for me

Sometimes I do a really really sketchy layer underneath my sketch/lineart, just so I know where everything is going

Use thumbnails! They are great to help figure out the general layout of things and what pose I wanna do

Next is what I call the "silhouette" layer

This is super important for me cause it helps me refine the figure and make sure the pose/anatomy looks correct, also depending on what color I choose for the silhouette helps guide what colors I'm going to use on top

This piece is a good example of how it works. The silhouette shows me how the figure interacts with the background, how the pose looks and if its any good

The silhouette layer doesn't have to be super clean, as long as it follows the sketch decently well and shows where the figure is then its fine

I also sometimes make the silhouette layer multiple colors to help guide shading and vibe

Next is the coloring layer. I usually make this a clipping layer on top of the silhouette layer, or I change the silhouette layer to alpha lock, either way it saves me time on coloring everything in

Sometimes I am super rough with the coloring too, using like an airbrush or my fav watercolor brush just to generically block in color where I want it

Works out cause most objects have like a bounce light to them from surrounding objects, so this is sort of a cheat I use to get that effect without all the work lol

Also don't be afraid to have the lower silhouette layer shining through, having multiple colors sort of subtly shining through the piece helps lots

Next is the shading layer, this is usually another clipping layer, usually set to "multiply"

The colors I pick here is usually within this range, any color works, just depends on the piece and vibes.

Since this piece is set in a sunset forest I choose a more desaturated orange for the shading layer

I know there's a whole thing about multiply layer being a crutch (and it kind of it) but it is a useful tool when you just want some darker values across the piece but don't want to go through the process of color picking every single darker shade

Also in my opinion it looks better than picking a darker color and setting it to a lower opacity, idk I just think the color has more "depth"

Next is the hardest to explain, sort of the vibes layer

Usually its just a layer of more concentrated color on top of the normal color and I fudge with the settings and values until I get a result I like

Next is the longest step, is the "extra" or the render stage.

Usually I add a background before this step so that if I need to merge the figure better with the background I can

If I render with a white background but he's supposed to be in a dark forest, its going to mess with the lighting severely

Also this is when I add more "vibe" layers on top to get the figure to match the background better

Backgrounds in general I recommend checking out @/derekdomnicdsouza on instagram he's got lots of great tutorials for breaking down backgrounds simply

I'd say general rule for the rendering layer is to focus on the areas of interest and spend less time on areas you don't care about

I even blur stuff out on the edges I don't want people to see, partially to save time on fixing mistakes in areas I dont care about (oop), but mainly to help draw the eye to the areas I do want people to focus on

Theoretically parts of the background should like mesh with the characters, parrallel lines are a no no unless they are directing a viewer to look somewhere, things that are perpendicular help bring things together

tbh I'm still not the best at layout and probably need more practice, but overall this is what I like doing

Overall this is what my layer set up ends up being

Sort of a sandwich with the lineart/sketch as the "meat" lol

Color and basic shading below the sketch, clean-up and rendering on top

I like this method cause it's super flexible if I ever want to try something different or try to replicate someone's style

I can make each step less or more messy depending on the end result and can add a lineart layer if need be. Also if there's a part that is straight up not working or needs to be removed its super easy to do cause I can just paint over it on the "extras" layer, color picking from the surrounding area to get the same vibe

Generally rule of thumb for my style is: get the initial layout of colors, form and shading to look good, then the rendering should be smooth sailing

Really the best advice I can give to get better at art is to enjoy what you're doing and become very very obsessed with drawing a silly little guy

You'll eventually get very good at drawing them pfptpf

[emilem-forevermore]

hey! intro post :D

are you having a panic or anxiety attack? here :)

here is a link to the trevor project (a helpline for queer youth) if you are struggling. remember you deserve love and recovery :)

you should go look at #em says it’ll get better <3 /nf

and if you know me irl, don’t follow me here- go to @peanut-jelly @squirrelfrienddd or @femininemilem

okay, a bit about me:

personal

my name is ollie, or oli, oliver, or em.

my pronouns: he/xe/it/fae/they. no she/her or fem terms.

my age: i am a minor. don’t be gross.

my birthday: april 8th! i’m an aries :3

nicknames i've collected: emilem, gay little frat boy, catboy tea, cheeto boy, leaf boy, em and em

my height: 5'0! i am tiny :)

i'm happily dating @nyxerer120 (how! i’m the luckiest boy in the world holy shit)

poetry blog! @emilems-poetry

vent blog: @emilem-is-sad

just another ones: @femininemilem @squirrelfrienddd

for my friends but also you ig: @peanut-jelly

therian blog: @emilems-a-cat

i also run one of the color shark blogs!

i also have a pinterest, spotify account, and scratch account. this isn't something i'll be sharing with the world but if we're moots or smth and you want it lemme know :D here is one scratch acc tho

fun facts about me:

i earned a black belt in taekwondo (i no longer do it tho).

i cannot play any instruments but would like to learn guitar one day

i’m a norwegian forest cat therian but i’m fine with being called human/person too @emilems-a-cat

fandoms and interests

music: harry styles ⋆ 1D ⋆ hozier ⋆ noah kahan ⋆ chappell roan ⋆ sabrina carpenter ⋆ taylor swift ⋆ the amazing devil ⋆ a lot more

fandoms: gravity falls ⋆ warrior cats ⋆ heartstopper ⋆ brooklyn nine nine ⋆ only murders in the building ⋆ a good girls guide to murder ⋆ wild life smp + more

interests: poetry (check out @emilems-poetry) ⋆ drawing ⋆ digital art ⋆ writing ⋆ reading ⋆ french ⋆ veterinary sciences ⋆ the human body ⋆ psychology ⋆ hebrew, spanish ⋆ chinese ⋆ italian ⋆ music ⋆nature

check this out:

my favorite post on this website, a slight tw for self harm mentions, but aside from that it's extremely moving and well written and might help if you're feeling down :)

PLEASE:

ask me stuff! i love answering questions

message me if you think i’m cool!!

send me art and poetry!!! it’s so awesome to look at :3

interact w me! i love talking to yall and i don't bite that often

talk to me about heartstopper, poetry, wild life, and noah kahan :)

if i say/do something that upsets you, let me know! i try to do my best to be inclusive and kind but sometimes i mess up so help me out :)

i love my moots more than the world!!! here's a list of some of them:

@hotteststar my first moot and fellow bisexual :)

@rins-batcave my reason /p

@raeprise mon cœur /p

@sparky4577 my brother (not irl but i wish)

@mcshizzle-the-fire-boy the most sigma of them all /pos

@crowofthestars just really fuckn cool. go follow them!

@thecrazyalchemist my bestie with the coolest name(s) ever

@mrblazeflappybird my cool uncle!!!

@wishiwereheather13 my really cool moot im too nervous to talk to (your banner is so cool btw. just sayin.)

@boldofyoutoassumeicanspell my wise gal i should talk to more

@holiday-spice my favorite seasoning (get it. cause his name is spice. lol.)

@halflingwithaknife i get excited whenever you're in my notifications you're so cool :0

@aflairforthemelodramaticc my father :)

@blaxolt one of the funniest folks i know :3

@catinasink uh. uh youre so cool. wtf im scared of you youre really awesome :0

@theronanlynchshow LITERALLY AWESOME I LOVE SEEIN YA ON MY DASHH AHHH

@the-toaster-rat genuinely one of the nicest ppl ever he’s amazing go follow him >:3

if you'd like to be added to (or removed from) this list lemme know! i have so many mutuals and i love them all beyond words <3

oh also i tag my weekly polls with #ollie’s polls so those are there if you wanna see

[ams-puppy]

Its that curious fucker again Take this chance to yap more about you and him relationship again <3 I think its very interesting and lovely (also slightly heart wrenching)

this gives me a chance to toss old art of me and him in without having to post it separately 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I'm gonna chat about a set-up for our dynamic. which means I'm going to talk about the torture set-up because you can't be in ihnmaims without being distraught

Short version:

I think AM would use isolation to pinpoint my neuroticism and dissociation as a torture scenario, which would cause me to develop dependency towards him as my only source of input.

Long version:

I think an important part of this ship was the fact that there would have to be some kind of outstanding factor regarding me and him.

He has his respective reasons for liking who he likes. Everyone in his menagerie has an important part to play in the group, usually based on their flaws. For me, if I were AM, I'd probably torture myself with isolation. (What a weird sentence to say.)

Because of my dissociation, I can have a lot of issues determining who I am. It gets really stressful when I'm isolated, so I keep myself around people all the time because it is a method of grounding. Through interacting with others, I can find my reflection in them, and that provides solidarity. Without people, though, my memory and sense of identity are fragmented and hazy. I think he'd 100% use that against me. What I could imagine is this:

I know that there are others, but they do not know that I am there. With my neurotic tendencies and dissociation, I could see myself losing a sense of who I am and clinging onto AM as a semblance of human interaction to understand who I'm supposed to be. Within that, though, I could see him trying to gaslight me into the idea that I'm just not real. At all. And I overthink a lot, so that strategy would work!!

Anyway, I think that would be my outstanding factor. The fact that I don't know who I am without humans and my only available interaction would be both him and watching the others through just. screens. Unable to ground myself. To which I could see him sprinkling in a little bit of, "they wouldn't like you anyway" and "you're better off like this."

So.......... developed dependency ...... maybe Stockholm syndrome????? idk I think this ship would be toxic but it's okay he loves me he gives me digital kisses before bed. 🗣🔥🗣🗣‼️‼️😂😂😂 IM INSANE

[uchihaharlot]

I didn't mean to break their hearts, I was just curious, srry!😭😭 (but Itachi's one was kinda funny-)

But anyway, now I'm wondering about how they would react if they found out that you can draw really cool and beautiful.

(I'm an artist, so😎)

Nonny 🥹🥹

That put me in an really good mood; lol. That was way too fun to write; maybe I can one day write a super angsty break up (but I love them too much!!!).

I love all artists 😭😭😭 Painters, writers — digital or paper. Anything that expresses the inner workings of someone’s mind and the fact that they can manifest it to reality is so so so beautiful. I hope I’ve secretly seen your art, I’d probably simp over it. Always simp over art. 😂😂🥹🥹

N/SFW; very cute Uchiha men adoring your artwork! 🥹🥹🥹 (ooc Madara??); Simpy Obito; …Scandalous Shisui; abnormally observant Itachi 😂 suggestive themes rolled out the further I got. For some reason, I just had to. (P.s. I should not be allowed to write when tired??? Half of this was done while my eyes rolled shut in bed).

Madara:

It’s not everyday that Madara is blown like a leaf in the wind. When you mentioned being a patron of the arts, he thought maybe the art of battle?? Didn’t expect your weapon to be a paint brush with some acrylic paint. Thought it was some weird jutsu infused shit.

And then you just had to go above and beyond and do a portrait of him for his birthday!!!!! It’s hung on the living room center wall so that it’s the first thing anyone sees! Honestly, this man is a brute, but your art envokes his softer side! A side that he hasn’t been in touch with for…well, a long time.

Makes sure that everyone and I mean, everyone, is aware of your talent! Still, he tries to find the side hussle in it, soliciting customers for you and all. 😭😭 Will trash talk the chalk art children make on the sidewalk, which ‘…that’s not nice, they’re children..’ you say. He shrugs, nobody is as good as you.

Obito:

Finds out and tries to ‘secretly’ commission you lmao. Makes it totally obvious too, his handwriting is shit and eveeeerrryyyyone knows who Tobi really is…. Plus how can you even begin without discussing what he wants done!! Duh, Obito! Unfortunately for him, you are more interested in drawing matters of the flesh. He’ll only show his chest, nothing more.

‘That’s fine.’ You shrug, and get to work. Obito, however, does not have the resolve to sit still! It’s frustrating to no end, but alas, after what seems an eternity— its done. Sort of. Still much to add, but the basics are there and you’ll work better when he’s not asking how does it look every twenty minutes.

Eventually you do finish this beautiful piece of him, and Obito cries. You made his scars tolerable and beautiful with your mind’s creativity, he feels less self conscious about them, only a little.

Shisui:

Is the least normal about it when he discovered your sketchbook — more like snatched and played keep away. Had to fight him for it, literally. Will ask you to paint/draw him naked…many times lol and you respectfully say no... Not that he likes people to see him naked (ok maybe a little?) but he secretly hopes it might happen one day. It would be a private thing for the two of you, cause he wants that ass.

And when you do cave to his whim, just to satiate him. He’s nervous lmao. Had this oh so macho man idea of rocking a hard on but Shisui simply maintains his usual semi. It’s nice though, you make sure it’s extremely detailed..as he asked for.

But, ‘(y/n)… this is chibbi!!!’ Lol, jokes on Shisui!! He didn’t say how to draw his pp.

Itachi:

Is the most normal about it. Though he still will praise you every time you finish a piece and show him, he is still massively impressed. How does your wrist not get tired? …maybe this is why your hand jobs are so good. 😈 Just watching you try a new technique (pointillism, which is my favorite style) makes his wrist hurt. Enjoys when you ask him for ideas! He has lots of them! Mostly…obscure and derelict landscapes though.

Would not be opposed to having his portrait done, but it’s really not his style. He is disciplined enough to sit still but doesn’t see the value in it. Not until the final product is revealed, does he truly understand how important this piece was. You’ve captured his personality in a new light.

[whatalamegimmick]

I saw this and all I could think about was Rachel.

I'm still getting used to digital, but I'm slowly getting better. I'm definitely proud of the feather, despite it still being pretty janky lmao. I love trying to mimic the game's art style though. No background cause I got lazy!

[obscureaestheticist]

DC & MARVEL are awful at publishing their own amazing stories...

Read some western comics for the first time in a while this year. I wanted to start reading more in general anyway so I added comics and manga to the list. HOOOOOOOOO GGGAAAD DAYUM some of this stuff is good! I wanted to start with DC's Absolute & Marvel's New Ultimate. I've read mostly DC but have never fully gotten into a series or mini series before. These new books were meant to be jumping on points for newcomers so I wanted to give it a try.

And I gotta say... these need more attention... By their own publishers, I mean.

Even though I only really started in the last 3 months of the year, I get peoples frustrations with these being monthly releases and the fact that a lot these you HAVE to buy individually and not part of a magazine or some other form of collective release. At least until a volume release. On top of that these are NOT easy to find, not where I live, and not online either. You need a subscription service for the digital releases and you need to find a comic book shop to even buy it physical. These aren't cheap either! If I wanted to buy, say, a manga volume's worth of issues to try and catch up, its almost 5x that of a cheap physical manga volume. And the only place you're going to be getting a volume of some of these is at a book store, not a comic shop, just because there's way more bookstores generally. By the time those volumes have released there's no gaurantee the series that you like is even still running, because they havn't made it easy to even find these to read and it might've been cancelled due to low sales. So that leaves me with a problem... I either cave in and get a subscribtion or I pirate it. I'm poor af, of course I'm going to pirate it. MOST people will. Except they won't because barely anybody knows these comics even exist. There's little to NO marketing around any of these comics. Seriously, why aren't these in a magazine?! Why aren't these easily veiwable digitally? I don't want a subscription service just to look at a few books. I'm DONE with subscription services. Even if it's just a website where you pay to read online per series, or even throwing these into webtoon behind a paywall, it'll be infinitly better. At least that way people actually get to see the amazing work they're putting out there. And... yeah, the monthly wait on these is agonising. If the wait cannot be shortened then a weekly magazine is needed DESPERATELY, because there is NOTHING in the way of audience interaction for newcomers except a very limited fandom which might be gone in a few months just cause the series could be up and cancelled at the snap of their fingers. Their websites suck... Like, straight up, they suck. Nothing unique or stylised about them, not even a bit of background music or some flare, it's trailers for games, movies, and TV. Theres not even viewer guides for comics, bits of info on the world, or even those silly "who is the strongest/fastest/richest,etc" graphics like in old magazines. there's no fun. It's painful because the stuff thats out there is genuinly good. A lotta bad, certainly, but the recent stuff is thoroughly engaging. Another thing, the issue 1 crisis. If you don't know what this is, it's publishers resetting issues back to number 1 to bump up the price. It's disgusting. Especially when it makes it a NIGHTMARE to try and find the series you're looking for... and its same name as 8 other series only seperated by a date. THESE NEED TITLES! I was reading Ultimate Black Panther and Black Panther recently... Or rather, NEW Ultimate Black Panther: T'Challa vs. The Moon Knight, and Black Panther[2023]: A King Without A Crown. The naming alone causes frustrations when trying to navigate and find a story you might actually like. King Without A Crown is a title I just made up for the 2023 release. Its a great story, the art is some of the best I've seen in any comic. And the premise is very enganging, about T'Challa having been exiled from Wakanada, returned to watch over it as a secret protector and trying to reconnect with the people in places he believed he'd overlooked. To try and deepen his understanding as a king, and as protector of his country. It's Cyberpunk Crime Thriller Sci-Fi with a mix of central African mysticism. It even comes with an official map.

It got cancelled. Only lasted 10 issues... New Ultimate X-Men / Secret Society X Men is a shojo horror mystery set in japan inspired by major works of J-Horror... and it's FREAKIN' X-MEN Nobody talkin' about it. New Ultimate Spider-Man is about Peter, married to MJ, Father of 2, becoming Spider-Man after receiving word from the future that he was supposed be a hero and that it was taken from him, and Uncle Ben is alive in this... Nobody talkin' about it. New Ultimate Black Panther is kinda slow but it's about 2 warlords trying to infiltrate and take over wakanda who are posing as this world's versions of Konshu & Ra and leads to a greater conspiricy about Vibranium itself. Nobody talkin' about it. I LOVE the absolute series. I'm a DC fan, but these Marvel works also need more love, like... guys. Not to mention Spider-Man and Ult X-Men is fanfic and fanart GOLD! LIKE GET ON THIS SH!T NOW! There are other big issues i've got with western comics but I wanted to talk about it's accessibility. I love comics and manga a lot, it was what got me to start reading in the first place, and I want these cool stories to continue in a way that is like, actually enjoyable. I wanna talk about these with people, but there's no point if nobody is out there to enjoy it with. In the meantime, if you like these stories but can't afford them, make fanwork of it. Fiction, prose, poetry, art, music, silly comments, anything. Same goes for Manga and Indie works that you like. Don't let a company's incompetence stifle your ability to enjoy art that has ACTUAL passion behind it.

[destinygoldenstar]

🌟Can Gays Coexist In Peace?🌟 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 3 Episode 2 “Gone Buck Wild!”

I WAS VERY EXCITED TO SHOW YOU GUYS THIS.

So, I kinda maybe DITCHED THE SCREENSHOT EDITS...

Instead, for this season, you're getting complete digital art from me as headings.

I'll put these on their own in separate posts later.

SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY A GABELLIE HEADING.

Don't worry, you're not gonna see art of the same character over and over again. It's just 'who did I find interesting the previous episode?' 'what do I feel like?' Ya know?

I think these girlies are here to stay. So I gave them some spotlight.

...I know my art isn't great :(

Alright today we're going into the game itself! We got Red Yellow And Blue!

...oh wait, sorry, we got yellow, blue, and PINK.

OF ALL COLORS, YOU PICK PINK.

I like pink, but also, that's a color that screams 'disaster' when you put it in this setting.

I have literally no reason to make fun of Pink Team yet, but here we are. XD

Thank you all for the support btw. And your warnings that this season is terrible. Appreciate it.

I mean hey, if it's bad, I want it to be the fun type of bad. That's all I ask.

What did you say? "YUL ReGRETT this?"

I already regret it just from hearing that pun... /s

Alright, so... I'm doing it anyway. It's on me if I'm tortured.

I can't get over that the very first second of this intro is lady whats-her-name killing Oliver by shoving him off a plane.

Ooh does Lake's suitcase have a flower on it?

Don't say I'm not watching the intro every time.

XD

First minute, and we already have the child getting hurt.

WHOOPS.

"My bad! Never used one of these doo-hickeys in my life."

Yeah she didn't mean to do that.

She wouldn't willingly hurt a child, even if it's Fiore.

"Oh god, we're on the same team."

"WHO IN TARNATION DECIDED ON PINK?!"

Yeah I wonder how that's gonna go, since, ya know, Fiore's the main source of Ashley's downfall last time. And Ashley has a good motive for the money.

"I wasn't lying, I'd never used a parachute before, but I definitely chose to land on Fiore."

OKAY NEVERMIND SHE DID MEAN TO DO THAT.

WHAT THE HELL ASHLEY?

"Far as I'm concerned, even though I'd never wish pain to a little girl, she deserved worse than a kick to the head."

I mean... is it bad that I kind of get that logic??

Like, it's shitty cause it's a kid, but this is Fiore we're talking about. She WANTS to be treated as grown up by everyone.

So that's what she gets.

Plus she's a bit of a psychopath who would murder people for money, so yeah.

I act like Grett and Riya are any better...

I like Fiore too, so you know.

"Think this is where we split."

No. Don't split.

We need to talk about this.

"On the jet, you mentioned we would get a chance to talk."

Yes. Thank you.

"Seeing as we aren't on the same team this time... this could be our last chance. You think we can talk now?"

I know. This is a rather tragic circumstance.

You finally see each other again, and then you can't hang out?

I mean, they can visit camps, right? They never said you couldn't do that. They can still catch up.

"Oh um-sorry-I um... need to get to my team as soon as possible."

Tom.

Tom what's going on?

I mean... I think I get it.

After what happened last time, you might be freaking out...

...but come on. Do you want to sort things out or not?

Goddammit Tom.

"Let him go, Jake. He's clearly not interested in patching things up."

Yeah, that might be it too.

Though, it is in character for Tom to not want to talk about hard stuff.

He probably already moved on.

He has a new job. He has a new life now.

It just didn't work out. And now you suddenly see them again? It's gonna be like that.

"I don't want to assume things like last time. I want to hear it from him."

"His silence speaks volumes."

"After everything we've been through... is this really it?"

Surely not.

I wouldn't be able to take it.

We're two episodes in. You got time.

It's a lot of PTSD. People with that don't want triggers.

Idk I'm really trying here. I think they're gonna explain it at some point.

"It might be time to move on."

Awwwww 😥

He's not gonna be able to connect with anyone here.

Hunter has two girlfriends. James has a boyfriend.

He's alone.

And it's hard to move on from something like that too. It just really sucks cause she might be right.

AWWWW GABBY'S HAIR IN A PONYTAIL!!!❤️

"I hope there aren't too many from our season..."

UUUUUUUHHHH ABOUT THAT...

Yeah...

"After how you treated me on the jet over here? You're lucky I even acknowledged you."

YOU SLANDERED EVERYONE PUBLICALLY.

"If you guys continue to bicker, it'll be the death of both of you!"

YUS QEEEN 👑

GABBY PUTTING HER FOOT DOWN.

"NO FIGHTING AT THE DINNER TABLE!"

"I'm glad I have Gabby and Tess, but having to deal with Sheriff Himbo's grudge-"

DID YOU JUST CALL HIM SHERIFF HIMBO?! 😂

That doesn't have a right to be funny.

"I know there's no point in apologizing since you won't believe me, but I want to play differently this time."

I'll believe it when I see it. How about that?

"We can work together. As long as it's on my terms of course."

"But after all I've done?! I protected you this whole game! I helped you win the zombie apocalypse challenge, saved your life in the cave, covered up your plans so no one would suspect you're a PSYCHOPATH, and you STILL eliminate me?!"

"Hey! Words hurt you know!"

I thought you knew that 'Demon Child' is accurate.

You yourself said that.

"Dang, why did we have to get the little girl on our team?"

DAMN, NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH HER.

I mean look at it this way.

You have an easy first boot on your team.

"The problem is that last time, we lost almost every challenge because of you."

Uh... let me think about that...

*Does the math*

Actually, that is only not true one time. Episode 4.

Episode 5 in a half cause that was a collab between her and Alec's failure to cook.

So 1 1/2 out of 4 that's false.

Yeah, she has a point.

"I'm screwed."

YA THINK?

"Never told you this, but as a young lad, I was in the scouts. Really made a man out of me."

Look at Connor being useful!

"Grett, the human hemorrhoid."

Hemorrhoid?

OH.

MIRIAM, WATCH IT.

"Wow granny, you look just like this old woman I got accused of pushing down an escalator."

Oh yeah, Yul is here.

I almost didn't notice him till he opened his mouth.

"Also, if you call my girlfriend a hemorrhoid again, you'll be rolling down this hill."

I'd like to see you try.

Props for defending your girl I guess...?

Grett does not look happy about it though.

"To put it nicely, this team is a hot mess."

No it's not.

You have two queens who know how to play. Miriam's a good brains. You're a good brains.

The only reason it's a hot mess is because there's this one pesky stain here.

Get rid of him and you will see the light.

"What if we cover the tent in leaves?"

Does that work?

Does that actually work?

"Mind if I tag along?"

"I do mind actually."

Girl, what is your problem?

Just because he's dense and absent minded doesn't mean he doesn't want to help you.

You are literally beefing with your boyfriend because he can't remember every single detail of your words straight away.

"Alright, I know I look like a jerk for not remembering her game, but listen, Ally remembers a lot of video games. Remembering every game she talks to me about would be harder than advanced calculous."

Yeah. EXACTLY.

Why is she so mad about this? She should know he's like this.

Like... just tell him again?? Is that hard???

You act like he's ignoring you on purpose.

Jake and Allyson are gonna be besties.

"OMG MY LOVER IGNORES ME TOO!!!!"

"Is it even worth making a fire? The rain's just gonna come put it out."

Yeah why would you waste flint like that?

"I'd like to think about potentially forming an alliance."

Didn't they already say no?

NO MEANS NO.

"Hunter and Ally are a couple and James seems to be close to them."

Oh, that's true...

You can probably sway Allyson though.

And if Hunter is cool with it, boom. Four Person Alliance. Fiore and James are the minority.

"That's a risk I can take."

Yeah, I get that.

Jake's just like "I just came here to get some alone time with Tom AND NOW I CAN'T GET IT 😠-"

"I wanna discuss it privately with Jake now."

Oh?

*whispering* "Hey Jake, I think this girl is desperate."

"Relax, I just wanted her to go away. Her darn voice was starting to hurt my ears."

"I AM IN HEARING RANGE!!!!"

Awwww, Yul's suffering, how sweet 😄

Though I act like I'm better. I was out in the COLD at work most of the day. My skin was RED and I had FOUR LAYERS ON.

"What was my manager thinking sending me out here in a crop top?"

OH RELAX YOUR CROP TOP HAS FIRE ON THAT. THAT WILL WARM YOU UP RIGHT AWAY.

"And at least we still look good together."

If SHIT if your standard of good. Then sure.

God I still can't believe this is real...

"You all should have prepared better. I brought my alpaca fur coat, which not only is warm, but makes me look fabulous."

LOOK AT RIYA SHOWING OFF HER QUEEN STATUS.

GIRL IS FLEXING.

"For my next showing, I shall get everybody fur coats! We shall bond as a team making fur coats out of the fluffiest animals we can find!"

NO RIYA GABBY WILL SMACK YOU INTO NEXT TUESDAY!

"Riya's coat slays."

OH NO CONNOR DON'T TELL HER TO SLAY! SHE'LL DO IT!

"You know, now that you mentioned slaying, I WAS thinking about it..."

"I'm really worried about what this game is doing to Riya. When we're alone, she can be really sweet."

Yeah...

Though her being sweet off camera is kind of a shock, actually.

"But as soon as the cameras are on, she becomes someone else entirely."

Yeah because her reputation is based solely around being that someone else. Because the real her is the her that gets no success and no attention.

AWWWW LOOK AT THE BLUE TEAM BONDING OVER RAIN, THIS IS-

This is actually so nice. It is so nice to just relax for a bit and see characters bond.

This is so sweet. I like this. ❤️

I really miss stuff like this in Total Drama. Over the seasons, they kinda got rid of this stuff in favor of action.

This is taking its time. I appreciate it.

"When it rained, I was hiding in the camp, looking for something to help me with the Jensen problem."

And that was AFTER you were eliminated. Which was MERGE.

Damn. The Season 1 cast got lucky.

"What were you doing that night, Ellie?"

"Nothing..."

"I was just... you know... ruining a relationship... the usual."

And do not tell me "Ellie breaking them up was a good thing, actually!"

They were sorting things out on their own just fine until she butted in and fed lies!

And now look at the state of both of them not being able to get over it cause it hurt them THAT MUCH.

Don't tell me they deserved that!

If they were gonna break up, they would have done it on their own. Enough said.

"OH, OH REALLY, OH, so you don't recall stabbing me in the back and making me look like a moron on national television?!"

EXACTLY. THANK YOU.

"Well, it worked."

*spits a laugh*

Okay, that was good.

"BUT-BUT ELLIE COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING ELSE-"

Here. I will educate you.

"I didn't break it up to start an argument!"

"GODDAMMIT I'M GONNA HAVE TO RESORT TO BREAKING BRIDGES WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!"

You better hope to GOD Gabby doesn't get a sledgehammer!

YOU BETTER HOPE TO GOD!

"You know it's bad when I have to be the voice of reason."

I... yeah. That is very concerning.

Still. Gabby slays.👑

Oh my god they're all in uniform.

I say that like they weren't in Season 1 too.

The PINK is just making me not take that team seriously. I'm sorry.

"PINK IS THE MOST INTIMIDATING COLOR!"

They're reminding me of Barbies.

Well, two Barbies, a Chelsea, and three Kens.

"Uh James? What are you doing helping the other team?"

That's his boyfriend.

I mean, of course JAKE is the one who says this.

"I DON'T TRUST THAT GUY! HE'S TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIS OWN TEAM!!"

"...I mean, I don't blame you for not trusting me. But learn to chill."

"I'LL CHILL WHEN YOU'RE DEALT WITH! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE A HAPPY LOVING RELATIONSHIP WHILE MINE WENT HORRIBLY WRONG AND WAS PUBLICALLY HUMILIATED AND GHOSTED FOR BEING ME AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"...well shit."

"They only let us film a new season here in exchange for repairing the environment."

So you set it on fire.

Sure.

God this is bad timing.

Oh my god XD

"How would you rate your Survivor experience?"

*Everyone goes in the red one*

"Fair enough."

"The yellow containers have eight mildly harmful animals."

What do you mean by mildly?

Mild as in a rabbit? Or mild as in a bear?

"And the red one contains four very dangerous critters."

WHO APPROVED OF THAT?!?!

WELP, SOMEONE'S GETTING MAULED.

Is a bever really that dangerous?

So... all the red is 40. All the yellow is also 40.

Just go for all the yellows. And the other two teams will split the reds, and boom, you win.

WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE CHILD AS YOUR DEFENSE?

BOO, PINK TEAM SUCKS.

Okay. AIDEN as defense.

WHYYYY?!?!?!?

WHAT IS YOUR LOGIC?!

Riya looks like she's just here to slay, honestly.

"I can attack and look good doing it. For my next showing, I am going to show you my secret football skills! They will fall before me as they tackle each other to the ground!"

NO RIYA FOOTBALL IS A DANGEROUS SPORT!

"Let's get the red container!"

GO FOR THE YELLOW. YA DUMBASSES.

XD

Okay that's just funny. Idk why.

Don't just leave the goat there- oh my god.

And this is just the second episode XD

Okay first off, GET OFF ITS ASS. IT DON'T LIKE THAT.

Second, leash it from behind and let it run. It'll chase you through the door.

But mostly, DON'T TOUCH THE ANIMAL'S ASS!!!

DAMN SHE JUST ONE SHOT HER!

👑

Why is Gabby slaying so much this episode?

"Hey! Gabby punched me!"

That was a SMACK.

And also, THAT'S THE GAME!!!

I DUNNO WHAT TO TELL YA.

DON'T. TOUCH. THE ANIMALS. ASS!!

Please don't fuck a wolf.

It looks like all three of them are trying to fuck a wolf.

Oh look at the Yellow Team working well together!

"Don't think I've forgiven you."

Well, you just saved her from Hunter's bullying, so...

She's not even on your team, secondly.

"No one on my team likes me!"

"Can you blame them?"

Not really.

THANK YOU!

I WAS VERY CONCERNED WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO THAT WOLF EARLIER.

ALSO THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME!

Heyo. Tom. You're uh... you're kinda...

Oh my brain just got dirty. THANKS WOLF.

OH MY GOD LOOK AT RIYA BEING SMART!

GO OFF QUEEN! 👑

"For my next showing, I shall tame the wolf! And teach it human civilization! The better to eat you with, dear!"

NO RIYA THAT FAIRY TALE IS A VORE FIC!

"Change of plans! Go for the green containers!"

GO FOR THE YELLOW!

"Do you mean the crate or the team?"

*face palm*

NOPE.

OH GOD DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT!!!

Aw, Yul is suffering. That's nice. :)

GET HIM GOOSE!

She's just vibing XD

This challenge was made for Gabby.

Aw, Jake :(

Tom moved on. Hate to say it.

"Man, I have no friends."

"Seems like Tom's already replaced you."

OH GOD DON'T ADD SALT TO THE WOUND.

"He's been smiling more than usual around Aiden."

Yeah. Tom making friends. That's... pretty unlike him.

"But I was his sunshine..."

"I wouldn't be surprised if they talked before this."

Uh, Aiden was in Brazil, so uh... how would that be possible?

Jake's gonna be like "You really think I buy into that crap? Come on. You just want to hurt me."

"Which leaves Team Magenta with a messily twelve points."

Oh wow.

Okay. Noted.

PINK TEAM SUCKS 😂

I THINK WE FOUND OUR TEAM VICTORY.

"Hey James, can I ask you something?"

Is he actually gonna tell someone what happened?

That's shocking coming from Jake. But proud of him.

"Have you noticed how quickly Tom and Aiden became friends?"

Huh. He's CALM about it too?

Damn. Jake's development is actually consistent.

"Yeah, so, I haven't seen or heard from Tom in two years, and him quickly making friends like that doesn't seem like him. And I have trust issues, so I don't want to assume the worst out of it or believe Alec. Can you help me out man? Thanks. Appreciate it."

I gotta admit, I expected Jake to be pissed and not talk to anyone about this.

"No. I'm not on their team."

DUH.

"I think you should talk to Aiden."

Good idea. WOW. 👍

Talk to Aiden. Find out the truth. You find out Alec is full of crap. You clear the air!

Jake is actually taking this really well and doing the right thing!

"What are you implying, Jake?!"

Wh-?

Why are you mad at him?

He said FRIENDS. He didn't say cheating.

CHILL.

"Well, it just seems very unusual to me."

As Jake WOULD assume. He hasn't seen Tom since last season.

He just wants a full picture and understand what's happening. Which is justified.

"Respectfully, you don't know Aiden. Be careful what you're suggesting."

I'm pretty sure he was talking about Tom's side of it.

JAMES. CHILL.

"Woah, no need to be that hostile."

YEAH. HE ASKED CALMLY AND OPEN MINDED.

WHY ARE YOU UPSET?!

Come on. If Jake BELIEVED Aiden was cheating on James with Tom, WHY WOULD HE CONFRONT THIS TO JAMES SO CALMLY AND SUGGEST TALKING OUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

He's coming here cause he doesn't want to believe it and wants solid proof and help to assure him that it's a lie.

And James is getting all fired up for no good reason.

"You are making stuff up about my boyfriend!"

ALL HE SAID WAS THAT HE WAS FRIENDS WITH TOM.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

James, you're killing me right now!

You did in Season 2 as well, but still.

"I didn't make anything up! Others have noticed too! Are you blind?!"

And now you're firing up Jake.

James, ya fucked up.

"Listen boy toy. Clearly you have trust issues. My boyfriend is not cheating on me."

So why are you yelling at him instead of helping clear the air?

YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE.

JAMES JUST STOP.

"Are you calling me a liar?!"

"A lie would have to be smart. You're delusional."

Bruh.

James, you fucked up.

And now I remember why I don't like James XD

I'm surprised Jake was handling that well though. He actually learned something from Season 1. He didn't explode until James snapped at him.

I'm proud of my boy.

But now I think he is gonna be bitter about the friendship because Tom won't talk to him, so it just further proves that he doesn't care about Jake anymore in his mind.

Clearly Jake has no friends, so that hurts even more.

"Well, anyone I ask for help is being a dick to me, so you know what? SCREW PEOPLE. SCREW EVERYONE HERE. YOU ALL SUCK."

"The casting team really dropped the ball inviting Jake back. I mean, have they seen what he posts? Crying about never finding true love? Hashtag Thirsty."

Okay that's just mean XD

"This is the fortieth day since the incident... I have never been the same... I'M OUT OF ICE CREAM!! AND HE HAS NO SERVICE WHERE HE LIVES!!!😭"

🎵"ALL ALOOOOOONNNEEE, PRETENDING HE'S BESIDE MEEEEEE..."🎵

Yeah, so Jake has NOT BEEN DOING WELL since Season 1.

I don't blame him one bit.

And I don't blame him for assuming the worst either.

And James is still a piece of shit.

"Ever since Jake blew up on James-"

James blew up on Jake. Were you not eavesdropping?

"Fiore is the weakest member of the team. If we want to win challenges, she should be the one to go."

Which is fair logic, actually.

She is kinda useless without her strategic power that no one is falling for anymore.

"Jake was on my side on voting Fiore, but since the argument, he's been begging me to change our vote to James."

Do I blame him?

Honestly? Do I blame him?

I was coming into this thinking "Yeah Jake is gonna be an asshole. I'll support him, but NOT because I'm on his side."

...well shit. I'm on his side.

"This is the perfect chance to get revenge on Fiore. For Will, Lill, and even Nick who I don't care about but I'll stick him in there too."

WAS THAT SURVIVOR REFERENCE?!??!?!

HEYO!!!! I KNOW THAT LINE!!!!!!

VERY CLEVER DISVENTURE CAMP!!!! VERY CLEVER!!!!!

I understand losing Fiore.

But also, I kinda want James to go.

'JAMES'

Nice. Very nice.

'JAKE'

Yeah yeah yeah, fuck you James.

'JAMES'

XD

Fiore's handwriting.

I can't memorize everyone's handwriting. But Fiore's is just so obvious.

'FIORE'

Oh wait, is Fiore going...?

I mean it makes sense.

'FIORE'

OH MY GOD SHE'S GOING.

Welp, bye kid!

OH.

OH MY GOD. ASHLEY?!

ASHLEY LOCKING IN JAKE AS AN ALLY?!?!

That's... actually very smart of her.

Because the two are voting against each other, and if Fiore goes, that tension makes Ashley an outcast and the next to go because Allyson and Hunter are sided with James-

So the best move is to get James out.

By doing that, she locks in Jake as an ally, and evens the numbers with Allyson and Hunter, because they won't work with Fiore!

Wow!

Well played! 👏

THAT WAS A SMART MOVE!👏

I LIKE THAT!

"I can't believe you guys sided with that spoiled brat!"

Look who's talking.

"SPOILED?! I HAVE NOTHING BUT A SURROGATE GRANDMA!"

"From last years champion to first boot."

I know, right? That's crazy!

HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN.

"Good luck having a paranoid nutcase on the team."

He's not wrong.

I'm not gonna defend Jake and say he's perfect. Cause no.

He's the problem person on this team.

"I'm sorry James... but Jake is the only person on the team I've formed a small bond with in this short time, and I don't plan on burning it now..."

That's crazy.

I thought it would be Jake and Allyson.

Jake and Ashley was NOT on my bingo card.

"I can't help but feel bad."

Aww.😥

He's remorseful about it.

"Am I right to suspect something between Tom and Aiden? I don't have that answer right now, but in case it's true... tonight was payback. Now Aiden will feel what it's like to have the person you love taken away."

DAMN.

OKAY. DAMN.

I mean, he's acting out of impulsiveness, right? HOLY SHIT MAN.

I mean, PERSONALLY, I think you did Aiden a favor.

But that is SO MESSED UP.

What did I say?

JAKE IS AN ASSHOLE.

I FREAKING CALLED THIS.

WHAT DID I SAY?

WHAT DID I SAY WOULD HAPPEN?!?!

HE TRUSTS NO ONE.

YAY JAKE IS AN ASSHOLE!!🥳

...that intention was still fucked up and I won't defend it.

But congrats on starting your asshole journey!👏

I...

Okay that really picked up at the end there!

There's some stupidity happening, but when is there not? That shit's been going on the past two seasons.

I did not expect James to be the first boot but you know what? I'm happy about it!

Dude dug his grave!

I'm looking back at that scene real quick and YEAH. Jake was being very calm and kindly asking James to help him out and talk to Aiden about the friendship with Tom. He said nothing about cheating.

And then James just EXPLODES on him FOR NO GOOD REASON.

Like, SHIT, NO WONDER JAKE VOTED YOU OFF. YOU GIVE QUITE A NUMBER OF RED FLAGS.

The top comment I just saw XD

Except he DIDN'T?

Hear me out.

If Jake ACTUALLY instantly believed that, we wouldn't have talked to James at all. He wouldn't have come to James to ask for clarity on what's happening.

Who else could he talk to? Tom won't do it.

It's because he DOESN'T trust it that this whole argument happened.

Or at least, he doesn't WANT to trust it.

BUT GODDAMMIT, JAMES GAVE HIM NO CHOICE NOW.

It's not that he believes Alec, it's that he has a terrible social life since his season and he's hurt by it, and no one is helping him figure it out.

I am all for Jake's Asshole Arc!

That past two episodes was a good build up and starting point to it. It makes sense for him!

YES! BE A DICK! HATE YOUR TEAM! HATE EVERYONE! RUIN YOUR LIFE AND RUIN YOUR CHANCES AT THIS GAME!

You're doing amazing, sweetie! He's gonna fuck up everything.

Aiden is going to LOATHE YOU.

He deserves to be loathed by him though.

OH THIS IS GONNA BE FUN :)

[velvet-games]

I finally finished the piece for @prince-liest's OC, Tzafael! this really reminded me of how fun character design is (and also that I've completely forgotten how to make digital art, but that's besides the point...) <3

credit to @hogbogglerspirits for the umbrella design! I kind of butchered it so please look at the original and throw lots of love at them

LOTS of notes, draft sketches, brainstorming, etc. below the cut. enjoy!

(note: a lot of what I'm talking about is based on posts prince made under their #tzafael tag, so take a look at those if you haven't yet!)

thanks for joining me below the cut! here's the sketch without the colors as a treat (in case you want to color it yourself or something, idk).

notes about making the digital drawing:

holy shit this took me forever -- I was not kidding about forgetting how to make digital art lmao. I forgot how much less forgiving digital lines are and genuinely lost the spoons to even attempt lineart, hence just a sketch below the colors.

some of you might've seen the original sketch I sent to prince, which the digital version diverges from just a little. it's mostly the halo which I'll explain later, and I finally caved and drew the sixth eye (you can tell I drew and erased it multiple times in the sketch lmao -- still don't know if I prefer it with or without)

here's the original color ref by the lovely @gendermeh! my color scheme ended up looking really different, so some notes about that:

I was looking at references for magpies like this

and I wanted to basically follow that color scheme while also being somewhat similar to the original -- dark head/shoulders --> dark top of the jacket, bright blue wings --> bright blue bottom of the jacket, greenish tailfeathers --> green pants, hints of purple --> purplish sleeve and pant ends

I also tried (and mostly failed, let's be real) to capture the iridescence of the feathers -- they look like oil spilled on the pavement or iridescent hematite to me! I think the key ended up being adding bright greens/purples and roughly blending them into the blues or vice versa but I didn't really figure that out until I got to the pants lol.

I'm gonna be honest; I don't remember why I went with this shape for the tailcoat. I just remember being unhappy with the sketch and then trying a bunch of different shapes that mostly looked worse lol -- I think I landed on this because a split tail kind of looks like wings?

KEPT the shoes -- absolutely magnifique. I wish I knew how to color gold better.

added lots of jewelry! they like shiny things :)

ALSO PLEASE LOOK AND APPLAUD ME. I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO LABEL MY LAYERS!! NO I DON'T REMEMBER WHY THE HALO HAS ITS OWN LAYER.

alright, time for some more design notes/explanations + draft sketches!

but first, a couple disclaimers:

I want to make it very clear that I LOVE everything about the original design. I made a lot of changes based on personal preference/the way I interpreted the character. I was actually planning on making a digital piece that was more faithful to the original design too, but I was just out of spoons for it cause of life stuff.

you probably shouldn't try to read the notes I made in the sketches I'm about to show you unless I say otherwise. most of it is incoherent brain vomit in illegible artist handwriting and I'll transcribe/explain the stuff I think is important :) (the stuff in quotes are direct transcriptions of my notes)

I know my sketches are very messy lol. I only draw for fun, so I usually don't force myself to make stuff any neater than necessary unless it's supposed to be a formal piece. try to bear with me.

1:

my first few sketches of them! (I think?) this was before I sent prince a laundry list of questions so I was still trying to get a vibe

"magpie -- beak lips?" -- you'll see this in a few sketches; I considered giving them the lipstick design that velvette has since it looks like a beak. I still kind of think it's cute, but 1) I'm pretty sure velvette is the only character that has them, so I didn't want to make it seem like they were related somehow and 2) I thought it might be distracting with how much other crazy stuff I ended up including in their head/face

also, sidenote since it's relevant to what I said about vel: something I realized was important is how one character's design relates to the designs of the rest of the cast. I wasn't sure how much I should've gone for what looked good in a vacuum, how much should be based on what other characters looked like canonically, or what other characters would look like if I also designed them. it ended up being mostly the second option, but it was honestly still a struggle. should I take away some of the tumblr-sexyman-ness (no shade to tumblr sexymen; I love them) because there are other characters that already have it? should I relate their design to sera's and emily's in the show or should I think about how I would've designed sera and emily? should I follow some of the design philosophy of the original show and just throw stuff on there because it looks cool (the answer is yes btw)? decisions, decisions ...

I don't think this showed up really well in most of the drawings, but they actually have a black line down their nose! let's take a look at sera:

since they're siblings, I wanted to include some similar facial markings. the nose line ended up being the only thing I kept though -- I was going to include freckles, but I have a compulsive need to give every character giant bottom lashes so there ended up being no room T.T I like that the magpie's hints of purple kind of match hers tho!

the wingification of the hair begins! I was still unsure of it at this point, but it was an idea I had since I was kind of struggling with how straight the feathers were in the original.

"maybe the ones on their head count as wings (so only one main pair)" -- I originally just had the 2 pairs of wings on their head, so I was thinking of just giving them 1 pair on their back so there would be still be 6 total. also this middle drawing of them is meant to be their exorcist outfit (I wanted it to be a cross between what the other exorcists wear and sera's outfit)

at this stage, I was thinking of giving them more magpie-like characteristics, so I looked at some references and tried to emulate them in a more human design. this ended up being really awkward so I scrapped it, but I still like the idea that their exorcist mask looks like a bird (kind of like a plague doctor's)

2:

peekaboo! I love the idea of them using the wing hair to cover their eyes lol. (ended up using that idea for my own seraph OC since that's their biblically accurate purpose: to cover their eyes/faces in reverence/humility -- doesn't really fit with tzafael tho lol, so they show their face most of the time)

an eyeball in the bowtie -- pretty self-explanatory. the eyeball motif is important.

the one in the middle is just me practicing drawing the original design, and the one on the right is another exorcist outfit I think. I wanted to include the diamond motif/points that sera has on her dress (the diamonds on the bottom turn into eyeballs, which is why the final design also has eyeballs on tzafael's sleeves/pants)

3:

lots of notes on the side based on what prince said in response to my ask

"localized omniscience (power of sight) -- cool + ironic that their sight was supposed to serve God but made them see Heaven for what it really is instead"

another exorcist outfit, this time including the feathers

I was also experimenting with the halo; I was trying to make it look sort of like sera's crown, but that didn't feel right ...

some practice with eyes -- my style is pretty flexible with eye shapes, so I try to make them suit the character. I drew lute's eye and also an actual magpie's as references -- lute's because of the exorcist background and also because they looked appropriately sharp, magpie's for obvious reasons. once again, my compulsive need for giant bottom lashes strikes

there was honestly a lot to balance with the eyes -- I wanted them to look condescending/bored (lowered top lid) but also amused (raised bottom lid) and like a magpie (round) but also harsh/mischievous (sharp, maybe slit pupils like a snake) and similar to sera's (but not too decorated -- also does it make sense for them to look like sera's if emily's don't even look like sera's?)

considered having wings on the shoulders -- the magpie pattern is super cool, so it would've been nice to have that somewhere more explicitly in the design. I still think that might fit in an outfit they would wear in heaven (maybe for formal occasions)

the introduction of the sweatervest! honestly I kind of love this for the way it captures more of the preppy, spoiled old-money upper-class vibe some heaven residents have, but it was scrapped since I couldn't imagine them wearing that while trying to scare the denizens of hell. maybe something they wear casually though.

"yes nictating membrane (on every eye!)" -- AHH I'm so sad I didn't end up putting this to use. I just feel like the whole effect is based on actually seeing them blink, and I don't animate lol.

4:

ugh, the nefarious laughter one ... don't worry I tried harder on a sketch later on lol.

"like the diamonds on Sera + Em" + "diamonds turn into eyes?" -- I draw the diamonds on the sweatervest turning into eyes later.

tried an actual bow instead of a bowtie -- very cute but didn't fit the vibe.

a skirt! I think they would wear a skirt sometimes.

5:

"FUCK ASS BOB" -- asghdk the wingification of the hair continues. unfortunately, I'm realizing at this point that the silhouette of the hair is starting to look a lot like alastor's. I gave a very half-hearted attempt at mitigating this, but it goes back to the thing of how much I am obligated to the original show's designs and what looks cool to me -- I think the wing hair fits them and I didn't want to change it because of alastor, plus my alastor design actually has completely different hair anyway. I did add a third pair to the back to look like a ponytail though.

introduction of the scarf! I was actually going to include this in the final design but uh,,, I forgor. are you starting to see a pattern.

the reason for the scarf is that the "tzafael going to places they know they'll draw attention/can incite chaos" reminded me of that scene in avengers where loki walks into a fancy building looking pretentious af and just casually stabs a guy's eye out. not really the same thing but I felt like the vibe matched. hence, loki's funny little scarf fit.

6:

uaoughdfjh it was SO FUN to draw the wing hair, and it was at this point that I realized they had to stay even though I wasn't sure if it was too different from the original.

gossiping with rosie cause that's the first person I thought of -- tzafael also summoned a pearl necklace to clutch because of the sheer drama of it all (your ex-husband did what??)

also started drawing the rings on their hands. magpie like shiny.

7:

lots of notes cause I was trying to compile the things I still needed to think about/incorporate into the final (I thought this was gonna be the last draft ... haha)

trying to include more bird/eye motifs

"fish ... purse?" -- ha! I forgot I was gonna give them a fish purse. I think I drew that in a later sketch, but not them wearing it.

"picked up Hellish traits bc of extended stay -- existential crisis?" -- I asked prince about the sharp teeth, and their answer implied that they became sharp as they stayed in hell longer, which got me thinking ... I feel like that's actually a great body horror concept. lucifer falling and looking like a normal angel at first, eventually waking up to more and more devilish features and feeling more and more like he's lost his home and his past self ... spooky.

another exorcist outfit -- I actually really like the eyes on the ribs! I never made a final draft for the exorcist uniform, but it would probably look close to what I drew here.

the one on the bottom was meant to be similar to the feathered shoulder pad idea, but this time with the whole magpie (with giant eyes). tried putting the "freckles" (really just dots in this case) over their brows, but that ended up looking kinda weird.

the eye is pretty close to the final design

the one on the right was supposed to be the full final design, but I was totally off lol -- the long trench coat really doesn't give off the right vibe at all

8:

playing around more with the loki vibes of the scarf, also added an eyeball to the chest

I never got happy with the design of the back of the coat -- I think it should probably just be blank at this point. but the sketch here is meant to look like wings/tailfeathers.

yet another exorcist outfit, this time with more magpie motifs. I actually like this one a lot, but I probably should've added the eyes on the ribs from the last sketch. I think I also considered giving them actual tailfeathers at this point.

9:

thanks for sticking with me! I promise we're almost done. have a trans dinosaur I saw while I was travelling as a treat <3

10:

this is after I finished the sketch for the final piece and realized I didn't like the halo design. I drew lute's, sera's, em's, and adam's as refs. (honestly I love the show's idea that each person/people of each rank have a different kind of halo -- I wonder if they can switch them out?)

my main inspiration ended up being the exorcist halo, but I made it look more like an eyeball -- since it always points toward heaven, we can say it's always "looking" at heaven.

(also sera's feather lashes! they're so cute)

11:

EVEN MORE EXORCIST DOODLES

12:

tzafael shooing away my fox demon OC

13:

these are actually sketches for my own seraph OC (raguel), but I wanted to include it since it has even more wing/feather hair variations. I also think the idea of the eyelashes being feather-like could've been cool for tzafael.

14:

some more OG design doodles

tzafael and raguel together because self-indulgence is the name of the game babey (also wanted to draw tzafael freaked out with their wings flared)

(raguel's blind btw, hence asking for eyes -- tzafael has so many!)

you can probably read the dialogue here so give it a shot. I believe in you.

15:

you know what? the fish purse deserves some doodles

16:

putting them in Situations! I was reading over prince's posts again and I realized there were some funny things I could draw them doing/saying

again you can probably read the words here

angel dust also loves fish (but is apparently bad at taking care of them, hence the suffocating blobfish), so tzafael shows him their aquarium (complete with live fish and flora ofc)

I thought alastor was 8 ft but apparently he's 7.3 ft? so tzafael is enjoying the .2 ft they have on him

trying and failing again to come up with a design for the back of the jacket lol

THE crowley quote

apparently the halo still sends signals from the exorcists -- thought their reaction to the battle at the hotel would be funny

the nefarious laughter (take 2) that I promised -- based on a doodle of alastor viv did that I found

them being sad and curling up in a pile of shiny things like a dragon

OKAY I'M DONE. huge, huge thank you to prince for sharing their OC! this was a lot of fun and clearly inspired me a lot haha. please check out their writing; it's literally so good that I can't read anything else these days. I am chewing on their thoughts constantly.

this was an absolute monster of a post, so if you're still reading, I am both impressed and bewildered at your patience. I hope you enjoyed! (I certainly did!)

[yanabeardoodles]

dude! your art is so delicious!!! how did you start drawing and who were your inspos and stuff?? you have a seriously unique and beautiful art style and i’m just eating SO good right now

I love telling this story!

I started drawing around 9 y/o and it was because my mom (who in no professional way is an artist. She works in law) was able to draw the cartoons me and my sister would see on TV.

I always looked up to mom as a little kid and wanted to figure out how to do that as well.

Time went on, I got into anime in middle school, checked out a bunch of Christopher Hart "how to draw anime books", and continued to draw all throughout high school.

Just to realize I didn't like how I was creating art.

I felt stuck and looking at the 7 years of art I did from middle school and high school I really felt I wasn't...changing.

Then I didn't change how I approached art for a few years after that. I was a workaholic so I never really dedicated as much time as I had wanted to figuring out how to change.

I tried branching out with different sources like studying Glen Keane gestures and loose western cartoon styles. Still felt stuck

THEN QUARANTINE HAPPENED 🗣️

Remember that workaholic life I mentioned? I use to work at least three jobs all at once before quarantine. Then I had no jobs. And I freaked out cause I saw my self-worth was connected with how much work I could do at once.

Not healthy, be better than me folks.

Anyway I needed a way to kill time and feel like I was accomplishing something. Then art reared her shiny ass in my face and said

"...draw, bitch"

So I did. All day. Every. Single. Day.

And there wasn't a goal to be a better artist this time. I just needed a damn project 😂. And it wasn't until the end of 2020 I saw improvement looking back to April

As seen below April vs December 2020

(Don't ask me why but the youth drawing is still one of my all time favorites)

Also I won't lie, I made a tik tok in April, it blew up outta no where in August cause of Rock (freakin) Lee of all things. And I liked the attention. Don't be like me. I burned out very quickly due to that mindset of "make art people want to see as fast as possible!" Not make art for myself.

Anyway, by then I was use to drawing everyday. Not even full blown illustrations but like doodling everyday. And I wanted to keep that routine. So I got jobs that would allow me to at least be able to sketch at breakfast before work.

Then I got a job as a paint and sip instructor, so I was able to try painting more often

As seen here

And from there I just started playing with art supplies all around. I treat art like math. My brain gets easily distracted and with that in mind, if I get tired of digital art, I go to color pencils or watercolor or gouache and then rinse and repeat.

I feel this is going on forever so to wrap it up

Current artists I'm inspired by:

For colors -

JC Leyendecker

@japhers on tumblr and twitter

For ink- Bruce Timm (worked on BTAS/STAS/Justice League etc)

Dan Mora (@ Danmora_c on Twitter)

Lastly character designs - A BUNCH OF ART OF THE MOVIE BOOKS

Spiderverse, Klaus, Maya and the Three, Luca, Dreamworks, Miyazaki etc

If the movie or show was cool. I went hunting for that art book to figure out what they were thinking when they made the characters.

And that's it.

The end of my spiel

[happyunbday2u]

So I've seen some Hazbin Hotel role swap things like when the pilot first came out they were switching Charlie and Alastor, Vaggie and Angel Dust, Niffty and Husk and Cherri Bomb and Sir Pentious, one on where Charlie and Vaggie switch, one with a Statichusk, once the season came out I saw like one for RadioStatic and somebody even give out a full list on who is who which I loved BUT have ya'll considered this? And work with me here okay

Also I didn’t get a chance to finish the art since I did it on a school computer cause I don’t have my own and my phone isn’t good with digital artwork but I finished the designs

Angel Dust as Charlie: When his family died they were basiclly considered royalty since their family of mafia had gone on for centuries that when they went to Hell they were already covered, living in a goddamn palace with deseasd family members and others from the same mafia. Angel Dust while he really didn't care at first but then started hate whenever the extermination happened due to how many died, he was covered since his family had already had so much secirity and such but it began to seem like something everyone should have. That's when the hotel idea came to place. He tried telling his family about it but it didn't really work too well so he left to try and make it work and save everyone in Hell. His main weapon choice is guns but he really doesn't like resorting to violence, he removed his gold tooth as a way to symbolize how he left his family and the family business.

Husk as Vaggie: In Heaven there were two ways you could become an Exersit, one is by ending up in the Purgatory and having no choice in it, the second way is by being approched by one to ask for your help in secret and choose to become one yourself which was rare but some did choose to that path and Husk was one of them. Skilled with throwing knives and any small sharp object he was one of the best ones on the field, Lute was kinda jelous, and never EVER showed mercy... except for one time. He cornered a small child but found himself not being able to kill him so he let him run off and make it seem like he had managed to run away fast enough. Lute ended up seeing and saw him as a disgrace as she took out his eye and halo, she almost took off his wings but he fought back so she only ended up damaging them so he couldn't fly anymore. That's when he met Angel who showed him better kindness then his own people, he ended up helping him with his idea and is dating him. He doesn't trust most people but more speficlly woman, okay so I added that because you know how Vaggie doesn't trust men? My thought was because of Adam’s personality and holding a grudge for letting Lute remove her eye and wings so for Husk I made it because of Lute doing those things. His main weapon of choice is small knives but he works with cards and exploding dice. Also Fun Fact on the Fandom page, Trivia, it says that Vizzipop was saying that she wanted to make him Russian ended up deciding not to do it soooooooooooooooooo- To me he's canonlly Russian, oh and another fun fact he knows like 6 languages including Italian so now I can have the mental imagine of Husk and Angel talking to each other sweetly in Italian.

Niffty as Alastor: Okay yes this sounds weird but WORK WITH ME HERE! At first glance you'd think oh look at this lil woman but NOPE she is an bug eating Overlord, she's known as The Bug Demon for two different reasons. 1. Her obesstion/appitie for bugs and 2. In the 1940's a word to describe someone as insane was bug which is around the time she was born. She works on the radio. She's feared by all of Hell and anyone who hasn't met her will probobly know really fast why she is. She is absolute besties with and I'm thinking about replacing Mimzy with Baxter but I'm not sure, if you don't know who that is he's one of the characters made but hasn't been used yet. And like Alastor was a mama's boy she was a daddy's girl and is respectful to men UNLESS they are absolute bitches to people. Another reason I gave her Alastor's spot was so that they can still be crazy together and I can keep the mental imagine of them laughing mainaclly together.

Cherri Bomb as Angel Dust: Cherri Bomb sold her soul to Valentino (Or someone else? Give me ideas people, pls) thinking it'll be as simple as she seen others do, it was not, it was even worse since he ended up having her as a 'favorite'. She acts like she doesn't care but it really hit her deep and her escape, besides ya know all the drinking and such, is blowing things up. She came to the hotel simply so she wouldn't have to live in the studio but overtime ended up liking the people there.

Sir Pentious as Husk: He used to be known for winning any turf war until one day there was one he was fighing that was too powerful to defeat so he made a deal with The Bug Demon for help but it didn't end well. Yeah he won but at the cost of having to work for Niffty, he learned how to bartend over time and grew an alchohal addiction, he was forced to work at the Hotel by Niffty and while he did at first dislike Cherri he ended up liking her in the end.

Alastor as Niffty: A hyperactive always smiling through everything, you know Niffty stays smiling almost as much as Alastor, deer demon he's basiclly the world's best cook and basiclly butler of the hotel. He's just a chaotic tall little shit which is basiclly like before but less out there.

Charlie as Sir Pentious: The Princess of Hell hated her title and how she had to live as royalty so she tried to become her own person, key word: tried. She tried become an Overlord but she wasn't good at making deals, then she tried living like any other demon but they reconized her too easily, then she tried to join the Vees but even with her reputation they didn't let her become one of them so to get their attention she tried winning turf wars, one of her biggest rivals was Vaggie. And the Egg Boiz are replaced by the Goat Bois which are just Razzle and Dazzle look a likes In the final battle she did die and get redeemed. I don’t think people realize that Charlie does have a soul since her mom was literally the first woman and when she made the deal with Alastor it was confirmed, plus I want her to still meet Emily and be besties with her.

Vaggie as Cherri Bomb: A young fighter skilled with throwing exploding spears, literally just bombs strapped to her spears, and a turf winning champion. She used to be an angel but she was kicked out Heaven for being rebellious so when one of the exterminations happened they took her down with them but she put up a fight and ended up getting her eye cut out. She's besties with Cherri.

Molly as Lucifer: She was close with Angel the most when they were alive even though she was never in their “family business”. When she died she went to Heaven and knew that her family wasn't so to reunite with them she brought up ideas like visiting hours and such so that loved ones could reunite in dislocated places so that Angels were never at risk in Hell and Sinners didn't plan to raid Heaven. Dispite the court denying and denying she kept trying until she was casted out in Heaven for her ideas and came down to Hell as a fallen angel. She was happy tho, because she was going to be with her family until she saw how distant they all had become with eachother, nevertheless she tried rebonding with her brother. But when Angel Dust came to her with the idea of rehabilitating sinners she just simply believe that it couldn't be done, not that she didn't want to support him, it was just hard to believe that Heaven would accept them after all her ideas were thrown to the gutter and not long after they became distant and she blamed herself. When Angel called her for her help she was so estatic for her brother to actually WANT to see her. "My brother wants to see me! Take that depression!" "Molly, this is Husk! My boyfriend." "You like boys! Oh mio Dio we have so much in common, put it there Tusk!"

I haven’t decided should be in Lilith’s place but I’m debating on Angel’s dad or brother

Thank you for listening to my rant have a cookie

[brbarou]

Can you tell us about your journey as a creative? I know you showed us some of your old art a couple months ago, and I'm sort of curious about that in a more general sense! I suppose to put it more specifically a question I would ask is how did you arrive at the style you have now that I could only really describe as "squishy" like if I gave one of your drawings a hug they would squoomsh

sure! under cut cause i ended up yapping

i went through various mediums and styles of art when i was younger – i tried colored pencils, markers, watercolors, acrylics i tried drawing primarily anime, i tried semi-realism, i tried landscape art and all the while i was >obsessed< with the notion of “”finding my style”” as if that’s something you just come across or decide on one day. like i fully believed that all of the amazing artists i follow just sat down one day and decided on what their style would look like, so i constantly tried doing the same. and it never worked!!

i think the desire find MY art style had a lot to do with defining my identity as an artist. it’s nice to be consistent and have people recognize that – but also, i just tended to be veeery hyperfocused on getting better at art when i was younger. i was an extremely jealous child, especially when it came to drawing. instead of bonding with other kids who were into drawing i saw them as mortal enemies for some reason. drawing was supposed to be >my< thing, how dare they try to do it as well!!! so i guess i thought that if i landed on a style it would give me some sort of status over them or something. it was very silly and stupid

around high school is when everything changed. i had never realized just how constraining traditional art was to me before i started drawing digitally. i always had so many ambitious ideas i wanted to execute and couldn’t because i didn’t have the adequate tools or i didn’t own That One Particular Shade of Blue that i wanted to use God i Wish i had That Particular shade of blue etc. so digital art was perfect for me i finally felt like i could do whatever i wanted

i also met new friends in high school and they were artists as well! and upon seeing the way in which they interacted with one another and with me – just constantly hyping each other up, complimenting each other in a way that didn’t feel backhanded at all, just genuine support and happiness brought on by the fact that all of us draw – and i was like damn. yeah this is awesome. why wasn’t i like this before? i genuinely forgot how i could’ve ever felt jealous of other people for being into art when sharing that with others is so awesome!! you can collab and draw things for one another and learn from each other and it’s so cool!

so the combination of acquiring a better mindset about art + taking on digital art just resulted in me not being so frustrated all the time, which in turn resulted in me just….drawing without thinking about having or not having a style. and that’s how i “found” it. i just kept drawing. i’m still young and my style will keep changing as the years go by and it makes sense. i don’t really think about it at all anymore. just do what you like doing in art and eventually it’ll all fall into place. plus, Everyone has a style. even if you think you don’t. it’s kind of like accents. “ooh i don’t really think i have an accent…” you do. and if you draw, you have an art style. just give it some time so simmer

[jrwi-updates]

Grizzly posted on twitter!

[Image ID:

A cropped screenshot of a tweet by grizzly @/GrizzlyPlays. It reads “This piece was done by @/OrganBean. Thank you so much for working with me and helping me.” Attached are 2 images.

The first is a piece of digital art of Lizzie and Jazz from Riptide as dark skinned black people. Lizzie’s hair is in thick dreadlocks with golden bands and she is wearing a huge black coat with golden epaulets and accents over a dark orange tanktop and grey striped pants with boots matching her coat. She also has several golden piercings in her ears, eyebrow and nose and is holding a long whip made of sharp metal spikes. Jazz is wearing all black with golden accents, consisting of a crop top, a one armed jacket with shoulder armour, long skinny pants, boots and a glove on his right hand with golden knuckle spikes. His hair is in long red dreadlocks with gold ornaments and his eyes are the same shade of red as his hair, framed by vitiligo in the shape of half a skull on the right. The lack of sleeve on his left arms shows his music note and flower tattoo.

The second image is white text on a black background reading “I'm truly sorry that the way we've represented Lizzie in the past may have caused hurt or offense to anyone. All people have a place in my world and in this community. I want to write, design and portray characters of all shapes, colors, genders, and races with respect and sensitivity. I still have a lot to learn and need to hear from you guys when I don't get it right.

Based on your feedback, I am retconning past designs and clarifications, including Lizzie's hair as a kid, and moving forward with this new character design. Lizzie and Jazz are black characters, so we've also adjusted his skin tone as the previous was unacceptable and I'm sorry for the confusion.

Thank you for keeping me honest and helping me grow as I try to do better.”

End ID]

[anne-is-ominous]

Phoenix Odyssey 13.09: Storm Warnings

So sorry this is late. I had the chapter mostly done on Monday, but I had some concerns about the impact on the following chapter and decided to hold it until I had that worked out. This arc has been very tricky, and I've changed my plan four or five times trying to get it right. I think, with much help and support from my dear friend @inanewmoon, I have it sorted now and things should flow much better. Struggling with this arc has been a lot of the reason Book XIII has been so slow to work through, but I'm hopeful to finally be past the block!

The October air around Akane shook with a sudden, loud crack of thunder. Her eyes lifted from the sidewalk, and she stiffened with a startled gasp. Holy shit! She quickened her pace on the slippery concrete as a bolt of lightning branched its way across the darkened sky. I gotta get the hell out of this mess. 

Jogging as best she could in her damp red jumper dress, her heavy backpack full of organic chemistry books held over her head in a vain attempt to keep her black hair dry, Akane finished crossing the Minato University quad. Huddling in the entryway of the arts building to get out of the torrential rain, she dropped her drenched teal backpack on a relatively dry patch of concrete and wrapped her arms tightly around her shivering torso. It’s still damn near a kilometer to the train station from here. Maybe I’d better just chill here for a bit and wait it out. She looked down at her digital watch without uncrossing her arms. Ranko will be starting dinner soon. I’d better call her and let her know I’m going to be late.

Akane craned her neck, but found no payphone outside the gray brick building, so she shouldered her sopping wet backpack and slipped through the glass door into the lobby of the arts department. To her right, a quartet of girls giggled about something or another; Akane paid them little mind. Another hard shudder crept down her spine as she passed under an air conditioning vent. It felt like someone had dropped ice cubes down the back of her dress.  She wandered down a long, empty hallway lined with white pine doors leading into smaller classrooms, most seating no more than twenty or thirty students. I really should be more familiar with this building, Akane thought with a pang of guilt. Ranko spends most of her time on campus in here, and I’ve never even so much as walked her to class. Her shoulders slumped, and while she hated the emotion that had caused it, it was a welcome relief from the muscle tension brought on by the spine-deep chill she felt. She glanced back at the tittering girls in the lobby. I don’t even know if she’s made friends with any of these people. Gods know she won’t tell me anything, but any one of them could know what’s wrong with her.

Read more...

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[duchessofostergotlands]

To be honest I haven't liked the things Catherine has been saying about mental health lately. First that talking therapy doesn't help everyone, now this. For a royal to say a short sentence or two about mental health... it can easily come across the wrong way & doesn't show nuance. Yes, talking therapy doesn't help everyone, but her saying this could discourage people from trying it out. Not everyone who feels anxious has a medical condition and needs medication, but some of us do!

Let's look at what she said (and buckle up, it's a long one):

Quote number 1: At an art therapy charity. Someone said writing music had been an easier way to get their feelings out than talking in a clinical space. Kate responded: "Talking therapies don’t work for some people, they’re not for everybody. It’s so important to have a range of therapies." She then followed it up by talking about how many people won't respond to talking therapies because of their own preconceptions about clinical spaces and so it's important to let those people know that there are safe alternative spaces like this charity where they can come for help in a way that works for them.

Unless you're asserting talking therapy does work for everyone and alternative therapies shouldn't be offered, I can't see what the issue is. It's 100% truthful. An analysis by the Child Outcomes Research Consortium found that only a third of children had recovered (i.e. they were no longer above the clinical threshold) by the end of therapy. About 40% responded they'd experienced no change at all. For adults it's slightly better but NHS Digital report only 50% of adults who access therapy have recovered by the time it's over. That's before we even get into the fact that talking therapies were built by and for predominantly white westerners and so large chunks of the population find them completely unhelpful, even actively damaging. There's an article here on that. So it's accurate to state that they don't work for everyone - for a variety of reasons - and alternatives need to be accessible for those who have reason to not trust professional services, or who had therapy and haven't recovered. In fact, this is a big problem in therapy because people often go into it thinking it'll fix things and then ending treatment without being "cured" is extremely difficult for them. And that issue is caused by precisely this unwillingness from the public and some professionals to be honest and acknowledge that talking therapies won't work for everyone.

Quote number 2: I can't find the full quote but essentially she said that normal anxieties should not be over-medicalised.

I wrote a whole thing about this, read that. I'm going to illustrate with an example from Drag Race. A few years ago there was a contestant who wasn't popular, I can't really remember why, but in their sob story episode they opened up about their clinical depression. And the reaction all over social media was "who cares? Everyone has depression!" But the thing is... they don't. In the US, where it was filmed, 2/3 of people don't have depression in their lifetime. We have created an environment where instead of normalising mental illness so those who have it feel accepted, we've overcorrected. And now it's cool and trendy to make stress into Anxiety Disorder, to making lying into gaslighting, to make your dick of an ex boyfriend's behaviour a Personality Disorder. All of which means that people who genuinely do have mental illnesses are taken less seriously and for conditions like mine (I have BPD) stigma is worse than it's been at any point since I was diagnosed 8 ish years ago. And that's not to mention medications for mental illnesses can be heavy duty. She was at an event for children and it's perfectly reasonable to question whether a doctor giving a child meds after a five minute appointment because the child said they were anxious is a sensible and healthy choice. It's there in the name - over medicalising. It's like any medical procedure. No one is saying you shouldn't cut someone's arm off if they have a serious infection and it's needed. But you shouldn't cut their arm off just because they got a paper cut. PS something slightly outside the scope of this because Kate can't be partisan but we talk about this a lot at work, the link between over-medicalising and poverty. A good article on that here.

I understand what you're saying about the fact that sometimes quotes are clipped out of context and royals need to think about what the headline will be but even taken out of context, all of her statements are accurate. And actually in my view it's the first time I've ever seen her be nuanced! I've always found her mental health work patchy because I feel like she unintentionally contributed to a lot of the issues I've outlined above but she's finally talking about things that are not talked about as much, even amongst professionals. I get your perspective because I was there a few years ago. When someone first mentioned the concept of over-medicalising to me I thought it was denying mental illness is real etc. But then I realised that knee jerk reaction was coming from my insecurities about my illness and my past experiences of struggling to get care, it wasn't actually about the concept itself.

[torque-witch]

Long post ramble

The diabolical update about my parents post-election, or more-so my dad is that he did apologize to me for texting me to sign up for Musk's petition + money giveaway "without speaking to me first" but low-key he was calling because it's his birthday today and probably because my mom yelled at him about it, mostly because it sent my sister into a panic. He said he was mostly just trying to give me an option for free money, and he is definitely money obsessed (and poor at handling it) so frankly I said I figured that was the bulk of his reasoning. But...also never actually went into talking to me about it at all. Hence, why I just say thank you and go on with my day because I know he doesn't actually want to have conversations with me about how politics affects MY life. I digress.

But then it got worse as he went on more rambling about his health and his business and a) mentioned that he believes vaccines cause autism and that he was sorry that he just trusted medical professionals when I was a baby and b) that he is now using AI to help process film to digital files in order to clean up the distortion from older film.

First of all, I said obviously it wasn't your fault for following baby medical regimen??? And mentioned that I tested pretty high on the RAADS-R and had a referral to be clinically tested so I'm already like fully totally fine with this outcome because it makes sense. It doesn't make sense because of vaccines though - it makes sense because HE is autistic. He can recognize it in my older sister because she has a lot more trouble socializing and gets visibly over-stimulated and agitated as a result, but is a lot better now at recognizing it. My dad, however, said "I don't think you seem autistic" and I had to explain that it presents a lot differently in afabs and that I still experience similar things that my sister does, but I am very good at controlling my reactions in public. No one has seen me have agitated meltdowns or the inability to speak because someone didn't understand my needs, I can't rip checks properly or because my clothes all feel like ants or hay or just that everything feels WRONG except my husband because I trust him to sit with me and not judge me for it. I still also get extremely overstimulated in crowded places which results in tachycardia, nausea or echolalia (which is often really really offensive because I mimic people's noises in the stores or phrases they say and I have to be super careful to catch myself or be super quiet because it just...comes out and I don't plan for it at all).

Anyhow I digress again, but secondly the AI shit is just like double diabolical because he specifically said he didn't tell his client (he owns a photography processing lab that he runs by himself and has for many years) AND he specifically had to buy a secondary processing chip and power source to run the program. It's bad for the environment/energy. He then asked if I've dabbled with AI and again I had to explain that I can't even post about it in a haha funny way because it's not allowed in curated art spaces and I could lose opportunities!!! "Ohhh...because you didn't do the work."

hmmm dad, hmmm.

Like...legitimately these people are supposed to have more wisdom than me. Somehow I follow Jesus' teachings better and somehow I have better empathy, and somehow I can connect with other people on more than a surface level and somehow I can sift through information on the internet and still remain somewhat cognizant of what is reality. I'm obviously not perfect, and I see so many of his mannerisms in me that have led him to become so enraptured in conspiracy. And it's 100% OCD and autism. And religious guilt/cult.

I'm grateful that all I got was stress that's eating my insides alive through the form of disease and probably autism, but my sister is the one who is suffering deeply from both a lack of educating themselves and genetic predisposition. It's not haha funny anymore, it's like oh...unfortunately my autism is pattern recognition and it's very clear how we all got here and why this family is so dysfunctional. And it didn't even have to be that bad either. The damage is done. Some things were out of everyone's control. But watching your childhood slowly turn into more of a nightmare as an adult isn't the best pasttime. I'm glad we didn't have the internet for a minute there.

Though, my mom was also deep in her fad diet era too which may have also contributed to malnutrition (we were all forced to participate as children, as in I grew up vegan but in a poor person way so it was all canned food). We did Atkins at some point, Whole 30 or whatever. Now she's gluten free and something else but not celiac. Lots of jazzercise lol. But mostly it certainly contributed to my body image as well. Even my dad pointed out that I had cellulite at like 13 as if I could do anything about it.

Anyway. Long trauma dump aside.

Why did these two get together? We will never know. I actually do know and it's not a happy story. For another time.

weeeeeeeee