#difficult disability

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

Living with bipolar schizoaffective disorder is a complex and often challenging experience. It's a condition that combines symptoms of both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, which can create a unique and difficult journey. Understanding what it feels like to live with this condition requires a deep dive into its emotional, psychological, and social aspects.

The Daily Reality

Each day can be unpredictable. Some moments, I feel elated, bursting with creativity and energy, while others plunge me into deep despair. These mood swings can be intense and significantly affect my daily life. During a manic phase, I might stay up all night, fueled by ideas and plans, feeling invincible and capable of anything. However, this high is often followed by a crash into depression, where even getting out of bed feels like an insurmountable task.

In addition to mood fluctuations, the schizoaffective aspect brings its own set of challenges. I might experience hallucinations or delusions that distort my perception of reality. For example, I may hear voices that aren't there or feel as though I'm being watched. These experiences can be terrifying and isolating, making it hard to connect with others or feel safe in my surroundings.

Coping Mechanisms

To navigate the complexities of living with bipolar schizoaffective disorder, I've developed various coping strategies. Therapy plays a crucial role in my management plan. Having a therapist to talk to helps me process my feelings and experiences, and provides me with tools to handle my symptoms. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been particularly effective for me, as it helps challenge and reframe negative thoughts.

Medication is another cornerstone of my treatment. Finding the right combination of medications has been a journey in itself. Some days, I feel like a lab rat, trying different pills and dosages, but when I find something that works, it can make a significant difference. It's important to recognize that medication is not a cure, but rather a way to manage symptoms and provide stability.

Social Interactions and Relationships

Building and maintaining relationships can be difficult. Friends and family often don’t fully understand what I’m experiencing. I’ve had to learn how to communicate my needs and symptoms effectively. There are times when I withdraw from social situations, fearing that my mood swings or hallucinations will alienate those I care about. This isolation can lead to loneliness, reinforcing the cycle of depression.

However, I have also found incredible support from others who understand what it’s like to live with a mental health condition. Joining support groups, both in-person and online, has helped me connect with people who share similar struggles. These connections remind me that I am not alone in my journey.

The Importance of Advocacy

Understanding and raising awareness about bipolar schizoaffective disorder is important for both those who live with it and the general public. Stigma can create barriers to treatment and understanding. By sharing my story, I hope to shed light on the realities of this condition, encouraging empathy and support from others.

Conclusion

Living with bipolar schizoaffective disorder is not just about managing symptoms; it's about navigating a complex emotional landscape. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, requiring strength, resilience, and understanding. By sharing my experiences, I hope to foster a greater understanding of this condition, helping others to see the person behind the diagnosis.

Ultimately, while this journey can be daunting, it is also filled with moments of hope and connection. I strive to take each day as it comes, celebrating the small victories and learning from the challenges. Understanding my condition is a continuous process, and I welcome the journey ahead.

[wis-art]

Kanapka wolf woman dyke wolf etc.

[turns-out-its-adhd]

[sillyfroggremlin]

@ my fellow chronically ill/disabled/neurodivergent folks:

friendly reminder that just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD and that it isn't harmful for you !!!

be kind to yourself please 🫶

[teacupsandcyanide]

Something I miss from earlier eras of the creative side of the internet was things just being unabashedly low-budget. Just all unashamedly amateur, unprofessional, ‘I don’t own a good camera but I have a story to tell you’, ‘I can’t afford a good mic but I have a song to sing for you,’ ‘I don’t have any kind of background in editing or lighting and I only just picked up this guitar last Tuesday but here’s an entire musical me and my friends wrote about our favourite book, we filmed it on a potato and put it up on YouTube in ten minute segments because we thought it was pretty funny.’

[scribefindegil]

Thinking again about how many disabled people end up getting shunted into art/craft work because like. You can technically do it. Sometimes. Yeah you make a pittance at best and are almost certainly going to make your physical health worse by pushing yourself to get things done, but what else are you gonna do? You're too sick for anyone to hire you. You're "not sick enough" to qualify for benefits. Just devote every scrap of time and energy you have to a chronically underpaid, low-prestige, incredibly labor-intensive industry. A few people manage to make it work with luck and help and the right skills. Many people don't. Everyone gets pressured to monetize their hobbies, but it's especially insidious if you're disabled because any tiny thing you manage to accomplish to bring yourself joy gets twisted into proof that you should somehow be able to work.

[vasira96]

it's easy to miss if you're able-bodied and extremely sheltered, but the fact that all architectural "accessibility" is designed with the (false) presumption that the disabled person in need of the accommodation will have an able bodied person to assist them, is a glaring oversight and failure of design, in my opinion

[ouchiemyspine]

the world wants me dead so I live. the world wants me miserable so I find joy where I can.

[disjournaled-scrolls]

Yesterday, when I was sleeping during a study hall at school, some kids I kind of knew (who KNEW I have a disability) took my cane and started swinging it around, using it like a bat, and playing with it. People assumed I'd given it to them, because when asked to stop, they said no and continued. By the time someone woke me up and told me, they had broken the wrist strap and were pulling apart the pole to stretch the folding elastic. They did not say sorry. They did not take responsibility. They simply gave it back after saying "look, did you know it could do this?" and stretching the elastic again. My friends reprimanded them, but now the wrist strap connection is broken and keeps falling off my wrist, putting me in danger.

The day before this happened, they had asked to hold the cane, and I said no.

Stop feeling entitled to touch people's medical aids. Stop acting like they're not really necessary or important. Stop fucking breaking our shit.

[thatoneluckybee]

Going to break into your house with pots and pans and yell at you until you reframe your thinking of productivity to include more than just schoolwork or a salary or chores and the like.

Did you do a thing? Was there a positive result for you or someone else?

Congratulations, you did a Productivity!!!

You aren’t ALWAYS going to be able to have the energy to do what we consider traditionally productive. You won’t always have the motivation.

Yeah, maybe you could have spent two hours studying for that test instead of 15 minutes. Maybe you could have cleaned the kitchen instead of the dishes. And? That’s still something!

Productivity is doing things!! Did you eat food and drink water? You did something that helped your body work! Doodled in class? You made art! Even just posting theories and memes on tumblr dot com is a thing! You thought out the post, figured out how to organize it (even if you don’t realize you did that) and you made it! And now other people can see and you DID something and you should be proud!!!

Be proud of yourself or I am going to show up outside your window tonight and scream positive affirmations louder than a cat who has just discovered her food bowl is empty.

[mousegirlheart]

they should make showers that are less exhausting holy fuck

[is-this-yuri]

btw since i am actually homeless now and the holidays are over i guess i should put a donation link here. you don't have to give me any money! i know how to live for free. it would just help me be more comfortable

things i'll spend money on in priority order:

- gas for my car (this will keep me from getting towed and get me to therapy and case management appointments)

- food and water (only if i run out of food stamps, or the occasional hot food treat)

- extra blankets and clothes for the winter (it's pretty warm so i might not need this)

- laundry

i don't really like the idea of asking for money since i do in fact have plenty of experience with this situation. i've lived in my car for two and a half years total now, and i know if i'm lucky i can survive this way for a long, long time. a little extra cash will just keep me sane and for sure safe without needing to get lucky. so, if you do throw something my way i will appreciate it! it will make my life easier for sure. but, if you'd rather give your money to someone who needs it more (including yourself), i don't mind at all.

there's no monthly rewards or anything, but for a bit of fun bonus, anyone who donates will get to see my face reveal

[traumacatholic]

I would really appreciate some prayers. I've been having so much money problems recently and I'm just not sure what to do. Every month I end up either in the negative or close to the negative. And it doesn't help that each month I have ended up having to make some big spendings because something essential has broken which needed replaced or whatever else. I can't currently get any help to cover my rent, because I'm still couchsurfing. The landlord of the place that I'm couchsurfing at isn't happy with my finances, and may refuse to add me to the tenancy, which would mean I would have to leave here. I don't even know why the landlord has an issue, because the rent has been getting paid on time without any difficulties. If I were to get added to the tenancy, I could finally ask for extra benefits to help me with the rent which would give me more money for living. But right now rent takes away from most of my benefits. I've been trying to cut spending where I can, but it's so stressful and miserable and overwhelming. I hate that I'm still in the same position I was in, where I'm just couchsurfing and trying to catch a break. I'm not currently in a position where I can save any money at all. And there's still the possibility that I'll be in a worse place housing wise if I'm not allowed to stay here. The fact that this has dragged out for so many months, and I'm still in the position of losing so much has me constantly depressed and suicidal. I just don't know what to do. Everywhere I have reached out to has been unable to assist me

[scissorcraft]

so. rescuing kittens, huh.

[rennymayflower]

This is good representation right??? Please tell me it is😭😭😭iM sCaReD

[creations-by-chaosfay]

If you're interested in textile art, please understand it will not end at one of the arts. Interested in weaving? There are many different types, so now you're learning about the culture these styles come from, and with that comes learning about their clothing. Now you're interested in learning how to sew clothing, and much of it has some kind of embroidery. So you do research and see how beautiful it is, and different types of embroidery exist. You decide to learn embroidery and get curious about lace because often they're seen together.

Prepare for a journey and get real good at organizing. You'll soon lose space because of supplies and tools.