#did i learn from this experience? no
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friends i love crocheting so much . why does it hurt me so
#did i marathon another doily? yes.#did that make my index finger not fit for crocheting for the next few days because the thread basically caused ropeburn lite? yes.#did i learn from this experience? no#will i avoid repeating this mistake in the future? also no. i did the same exact thing for the 4th time. this one was smaller tho#i like making doilies best because the patterns are so easy to follow and i get to learn many interesting stitches#bigger things like blankets and pillowcases are fun too but not engaging enough. they're good to make when watching a movie#but i usually don't have enough yarn on me to make something big#+ it's really difficult for me to pick colors for the patterns and solid color is just so boring and bland. when i was making that bag for#ori it took me longer to figure out the color scheme than to actually make it.#i fucking hate making plushies. made 2 of the same squid (fun and cute) but making any other plushie is agony#i had SO many attempts at the manta ray. grr wrr grr. i'm not even going to try making anything else until i forget why i hate making them#crochet#whispers
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Mon Loup
Please send help, Wenclair has taken over my brain.
Per usual, do not reupload without credit/permission. Thanks folks!
(My ko-fi, should you wish!)
#never drawn a werewolf before#ok that's kind of a lie#I've never drawn a werewolf that I did not think was absolute garbage before#but this idea came to me and I simply could not do anything until I drew it#so today we learned how to draw a fuckin werewolf#kind of sort of it's like 60% of the body here but shush#also experimented with a couple new brushes which I am digging greatly#I feel like I'm cheating on RWBY not drawing bumbleby LMAO#but like same dynamic so#close enough for the regulars eh?#but yeah feel free to follow for more wenclair cause hoo boy the brainrot is beginning and it is hitting hard#(you can claw the bees from my cold dead hands tho dw they aren't going anywhere)#wenclair#wednesday netflix#wednesday#wednesday addams#enid sinclair#wednesday x enid#pov you fucked with the WRONG little goth#She'll kill you and so will her big golden retriever wolf gf#temp tats art
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DO YA THINGKU
for a twitter trend of redrawing miku as album covers!! i wanted to do one of my favorite single from gorillaz. Cover-accurate ver + closeups:
this was definitely the biggest thing ive drawn this year!! and a good chunk of it on stream. thank you everyone who tuned in!! it was loads more fun to make in company :]
#gorillaz#vocaloid#hatsune miku#doyathing#do ya thing#andre3000#andre3k#album miku#miku albums#jamie hewlett#admin draws#fanart#phew alright finally#i finished this late yesterday#it ended up kind of being a style study! i did heavily reference the body lineart for this bc it was gonna take long enough#without reinventing the wheel. but i did colors from scratch#im a very impatient person artwise but this was very satisfying to do and finally finish#i would say my reason for this was that i saw several demon dayz mikus since this trend started#but gorillaz has so much cool art! album and otherwise. so i COULD say that this was made with that in mind#but no. that only came later fkdgslgh. my initial idea came from overlistening to the 13min version#and really wanting to draw miku in a fake muscle shirt. and then it got out of control#hope you enjoy. and maybe not compare the texutures too closely i really had to frankenstein some shit here#phase 3 to 4 is when hewlett really starts going hard on the soft airbrushing in favor of cel and thats a MAJOR weak area of mine#so this was definitely a learning experience
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but��” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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people who undermine the importance of izuku and katsuki's relationship throughout bnha because of "annoying shippers" or because they just don't like katsuki are insane because their relationship is literally so? important??? to the entire story???? katsuki is the deuteragonist of bnha. he was one of the first characters to show up. he was the first other person to know about OFA. so much of the manga is spent showing his development. if you deny his character development and relationship development ("relationship" does not always mean romantic relationship) with izuku, you are quite literally denying a massive part of the series. the manga starts with them and ends with them. you're allowed to dislike him but if you dislike him so much that you, in turn, start hating how izuku is a "punching bag" or a "doormat" for the entire series because he doesn't stay angry and vengeful at people even though a massive part of his character is that he's compassionate and kind even to people who aren't to him or used to not be, and you seriously think that that makes him weak, and you just start to dislike the main two characters of the series, i think you should. idk. stop reading, probably. read the revenge fantasy shit that you obviously want to read. there are like seven million manhwa available to you where the character gets the revenge you so desperately want to see.
#someone on twitter kinda pissed me off#bnha#mha#bkdk#bakudeku#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#i hope this post is understandable bc i am so tired rn#also can i just mention how these people so obviously project onto izuku#how much does katsuki have to atone for you guys#i'm not saying what he did WASN'T fucked up but at what point do you guys think he “earns” forgiveness?#apparently he didn't earn it when he: apologized. took a hit for izuku. died because he became the closest person to him.#felt guilty over his actions. cried because he felt guilty and wanted them to compete forever.#spent 8 years funding a fancy expensive suit that could allow izuku to have his greatest dream back.#like i genuinely don't understand what else he could possibly do#he experiences misfortune for being the way that he is (even if not directly reprimanded for it often) and he learns and grows from it#and if you say “he could've permanently died” izuku would have Fucking Hated that actually.#the main character you project so hard onto would have hated it and cried his eyes out and mourned for his childhood friend-slash-bully#proof? see his reaction when he literally saw katsuki lying dead on the ground. he started hyperventilating.#izuku midoriya is NOT A SELF INSERT CHARACTER.
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
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#mine#i spent way too long on this. view my third 3d render#had to figure out how to export the 4-4 map and it didnt go that well#also the chair.#i didnt realize the chair was part of the 4-4 map since i went looking for the chair first#this chair isnt even from the 4-4 map. its from jaket#i done goofed trying so hard to export the throne#i kept trying to export assets instead of export models which. of course. did nothing. or exported what i wasnt looking for#learning experience...#god bless the reddit person who put all the models and shit into a ready-to-be-used blend file because that was my starting point
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DAY 75: onehat
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#siffrin isat#isat act 6 spoilers#twohat spoilers#isat spoilers#yea im tagging the onehat post twohat spoilers. watch me#..do we know what time of day it is when siffrin goes to the favor tree?#i always imagined the evening for some reason.#um so anyways. hey do you guys ever think about onehat. do you think about it#do you ever think about how siffrin never learning about loop and never getting closure with them#is just as valid of an ending as twohats. you dont have to get twohats. loop getting some catharsis isnt necessary to siffrin's narrative.#they asked to be here. they were here to help siffrin. and they did. and it ended#that's it.#i've always wondered if loop saw siffrin perform the ritual for them#i wonder if it would comfort them or not. if you ask them if they're a ghost they say yes (and no) after all#the tree is their grave.#something something from main character to stage director to sponsor to corpse#and with how arcane the prereqs for twohats are. yes you can get them naturally on a first playthrough but it's definitely not the majority#experience especially playing blind.#to give loop an ending you have to reach back in with both hands and grasp at that connection#i dont rlly know how to articulate it but it makes me feel a kind of way tbh. you only learn the prereqs (w/o guidance) by talking to loop#very frequently and paying attention to the hints they drop to you about the coin. labor of love situation#self love. siffrin reaching back for loop. We Are Getting Out Together Bitch#Is this anything i dont know that it is#idk onehat fascinates me a lot and im not even gonna touch on the onehats playthroughs where u actually do get the prereqs#i think there is a slight tendency among some fans tocharacterize loop as. more vindictive than they are? i guess?#it's easy to stare down loop's big twohats breakdown and see them bare their fangs and look into their anger#but loop's willingness to fade into nothing and leave siffrin alone shouldnt be forgotten i dont think
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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if rainflower was given a dishonor title, what would it be?
also is mapleshade still killed by crookedstar in the BOTTE?
Definitely something related to animals they disrespect. I don't see him going as far as to hit her with "Cuckoo" but he'd want to center her cruelty and lack of compassion. "Lamprey" makes a fine choice, and there's also a disrespectful word in Clanmew for egg-laying animals that don't care for their young.
But, he would certainly not do it because Rainflower is popular. Hailstar is a smart cat, in spite of how long he spent denying the problem and justifying it (sometimes intellect just makes you better at making excuses). He knows full well that something like that could backfire politically.
There's a portion of the Clan who thinks he was wrong to punish her at all, and more who are in that nebulous state of not being totally sure if his response was justified or not. He took her child and stripped her of all status. If he went further than that, it would look like retribution... which it would be, and in another, more furious Clan, would have appeased the angry mob.
But this Clan isn't furious. The reception is mixed. Hailstar's goal isn't to make a big point, it's to protect Stormkit the way he should have done a long time ago.
The best plan of action is the action that makes this transition go smoothly. Rainflower does not need to wear a name like Lampreypool right now, to draw attention to her, to have the whole Clan be looking at her while she plays the poor, besieged victim of a cruel and unusual leader. She needs to be kept out of power, and away from Shellheart's son as the poor child recovers.
(Also Mapleshade didn't die in the Battle of the True Eclipse! Not in BB and not in canon's The Great Battle either, lmao. She's still around, chilling in the Dark Forest, haunting Applekin.)
#This is actually stuff I thought a lot about#But I didn't know how to get this thought process into the draft without making it too long#It'd be better for a later chapter I think. One where Crookedjaw is deputy and learning some lessons from old Hailstar#Like the subject comes up and Hail explains what he did when he went around talking to all those different cats.#The thought process that he had when he decided not to give Rainflower a Dishonor Title#In a very ''learn from my mistakes but also from my experience'' kind of tone#BB!Hailstar#BB!Rainflower#Stormpaw's Demon#better bones au
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it's the best when i see falmari ocs who still remember the kinslaying at alqualonde and still begrudge the noldor. even better when they mention a feanorian or fingolfinian by name
#as much as i adore the mention that they hearkened specifically to elwing during the war of wrath and have not forgotten#what the exiled noldor did to them#i need specific names. specific memories! who among their family was killed? how did those family members die? how did they learn#of those deaths? who killed them? etc. etc. etc.#also need to see more falmari and reborn iathrim finding connections and sympathy among each other in their shared#experience of being on the receiving end of a kinslaying from the noldor#kinslaying at alqualonde#first kinslaying#falmari#teleri#tolkien tag#tolkien#the silmarillion#the silm#silm#lord of the rings#lotr#jrr tolkien
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Ok I got an interview at a place that mixes custom pet food
#yeah no one else will write me back and it's part time so maybe I can swing it#plus possibly snow/smoke days off cause they follow the school calendar#had to leave DEI off my old job title to get a call back#like I did dei trainings in a (now) red state I knew it was polarizing but it was confirmed almost immediately#a little anxious cause one of the questions is about potential allergens and they have flowers on the list#I am allergic to all flowers yes but it is probably fine?#recently learned most people don't take 5 allergy pills and 2 nasal sprays even if they have allergies#(I still have my eye/neck rash from mystery allergens possibly formaldehyde but maybe sulfates? idk smh)#the posting says you can listen to music/podcasts so maybe I can actually catch up on delta flyers#and I was supposed to do part time for my sister but she still hasn't paid me for the last stuff I did for her#I don't wanna be an asshole but I can't keep giving myself money out of my long term savings#$22 an hour but the most I made at the school district was like $27... better at the university but that situation was always unstable#where I live has all warehouse jobs and only a couple educational institutions of which I've burned bridges at 2#maybe 3 if you count the museum... yeah I'm the worst#plus education sucks I never wanted to go into education but somehow that's where all my experience is#yeah I have a masters degree it is completely worthless don't keep studying because the economy is in ruins and it feels safer#bad decisions made when I was 22 to become over educated and then chronically underemployed (or straight up unemployed like now)
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I'm just going to say that I agree 120% with what was said about empathy and respect for the new cultures that are gonna be add to the server. But I think it's also good to clarify that this goes both ways. We are all going to be exposed to new things and we have to let our guard down a little to try to understand each other. It always comes down to empathy and respect. Members and communities that are currently involved with the server can screw up without even realizing it, just as new members can screw up. We are humans. The thing is to take a deep breath and, as long as there is no bad intention behind it, talk about things like adults. With patience and empathy.
#qsmp#This is bc im seeing a lot of people already putting the new members in glass boxes#like chill#they are gonna screw up at some point maybe#thats fine#we all do#as a spanish speaker i rembember people from other communties#One in particular#trying to cancel everything our ccs did or said#is frustrating#But also there was a learning experience from both sides wich was so cool to see
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Realizing you can never please anybody can be a devastating loss... until you internalize exactly what that means.
When you sacrifice so much of yourself for others, you forget that you leave yourself behind. Not being able to please everybody means you can start learning how to fully embody who you are instead of juggling everybody else's baggage, trying to make something work out.
You might feel devastated about this, thinking you're terrible for not pleasing everybody. The truth is, it was impossible from the start, and learning who you are is infinitely rewarding
#mental health#encouragement#encouraging words#people-pleasing is honestly (in my experience) the most soul-crushing things out there#and i wish more and more people could learn how to let go of the impulse to self-persecute...#...and to let go of the idea that literally the *entire world* comes before them#i think the thing that really set me on this path was realizing that few people would do what i did...#...that they would see that nobody is fighting their corning *including them*...#...and that few people will actually fight your corner *for* you...#...and part of that realization enraged me because it's like... everybody abandons you INCLUDING yourself...#...so you think 'how the fuck didn't i realize that?' and you start to question more and more the reasons you internalized the message...#...that literally everybody matters more than you ever will...#...part of that for me stems from deep systematic abuse and part of it is cultural...#...so you'll find that your drives to do certain things have differwnt influences and some are perfectly fine...#...while others are destroying and depressing and horrific
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first proper comic i've ever made! this is for my fic rainspeak; treat it as a bit of a "deleted scene" that takes places right after chapter 13
i never wrote anything from reigen's pov during the last few chapters bc 1) i wanted to focus on the kids, and 2) i'm not totally confident in my ability to write something compelling from that pov w those circumstances. so here's a comic instead <3
#qkdraws#yes i am insane#pls don't look at the roads. idk how to draw roads i did my best#like i said this is my first ever attempt at a comic so if the pacing is off or the paneling is mediocre uhm . go look at professional art#idk why ur here if ur lookin for someone experienced in comics. i am not ur guy#mob psycho 100#mp100#reigen arataka#mp100 reigen#the main thing i was worried abt w this project was getting burnt out in the middle#and also consistency between pages#hope to god it all like . connects well. (TIP: DON'T LOOKAT THE ROADS!!!!!!!!)#anyway i learned quite a lot from this ! projects like this r a rly cool learning experience#i despise backgrounds so im rly glad i managed to hide them most of the time either by dumb luck w speech bubbles#or metaphorical tunnel vision nonsense#if this post flops i think ill cry <3#tw decapitated head#tw decapitation#tw dead body#tw blood
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