#dick Grayson headcannon

[tsw1234]

Let The World Burn - D.G

Word count: 835

Pairings: Vampire!Dick Grayson x BTVS!fem reader

Notes: I don't know how to feel about this, I had like a concept mapped out for this and another part but it all depends on you guys. So please lmk if there's anything I should edit or add, and if I should include the next part

Synopsis: Gotham's in havoc, and the only one you can rely on is your ex-bf?

Warnings: Deception, angst, manipulation

It's been a year since the downfall of Gotham. A year since the apocalypse and a year since the vampires took over.

When the apocalypse first hit, chaos ran amok through the city's streets. Left and right, people were dropping like flies; Despite your pretty recent breakup, the first person you sought to check on was your ex-boyfriend -- Dick Grayson. Frantically you rush for the phone, dialing his number countless amounts of time solely to be met with his voicemail.

"Come on, Grayson answer!" you frustratedly mutter. In the of midst what seemed like the 10th dial, you were interrupted by a gust of wind bursting inside your apartment. You could've sworn you closed your window. Immediately you get a feeling of unease throughout your whole body. Gingerly walking towards your kitchen, you grab a knife from the knife block, arming yourself for whatever unexpected creature decides to pop out. Feeling a shadow behind you, as if instinct, you turn around and attempt to stab the unknown with all your might, only to be stopped mid-swing by a man grabbing your wrist.

"Woah there princess, you could've taken me out." the man said with a hint of mockery. You recognize the man as Dick, fully dressed in his blue and black Nightwing suit.

"Dick!" you exclaim, dropping the knife and running into his arms. He let out a cocky chuckle before wrapping his arms around your waist. If you weren't overdriven by a sense of relief and comfort., you would've noticed how his body was ice cold. Normally it would be the opposite, your hands cold to the touch in contrast to his warm hands. He used to say that that's what made the two of you perfect for each other. "You're okay! I've been calling you over and over!"

"I'm sorry sweetheart my phone died," he said, placing kisses on your temple. Weird, for a vigilante shouldn't his phone always be on? "I'm here now, that's all that matters," he reassures. Once again, there went the feeling of unease. "Baby, as much as I'm enjoying this we need to leave, now.". You nod your head, pushing back any feelings you had. He was right, the apocalypse of the world was still currently ongoing. Dick grabs your wrist, leading you towards the open window's fire escape.

"You ready?" he asks, wrapping his arms around your waist. You let out a sound of approval, clutching onto him for support. Hearing your compliance, he starts leaping from building to building, leading the two of you to a safe rooftop.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."

"Mhmm," you reply looking down at the city. Tears started to run down your face. Gotham was in shambles. Buildings were on fire, men and women- children screaming, car alarms going off, police sirens wailing.

"Baby, are you okay?" Dick calls out. He approaches you from behind, wrapping his arms around you and putting his head on top of yours. You turn and bury your face in his chest, hugging him back. "No...this is terrible! The city's in ruins, and everyone I love could be in danger.". This time your body wasn't signaling you a feeling of unease but more of a signal of danger--a warning telling you to get away. You look up at Dick and notice his eyes, his once blue eyes now blood red.

He picked up on your sense of inquietude, looking down at your distraught face. "You-you're one of them." you clamor pushing yourself away from his embrace.

"Princess-"

"No!" you shout. With each step he takes towards you that's another you take away from him. "Baby-"

This time your foot takes a step off of the edge. "Careful!" he exclaims, and in what seems like an instant your rushes over to you and pulls you into him, leading you away from the edge. "Let go of me!" you emphasize, struggling to get away from his grasp on you.

"How could you?" you ask, realizing there's no use in fighting against him and his newly acquired superhuman strength. The only emotions you felt right now were pure pain and betrayal; a dangerous pair they would be if the love you had for Dick wasn't triumphing you to act on them.

You tried to read him, something you could once easily do when you were still together, when he was with you; when he was still human. Dick's mind happened to be in various places. It hurt him to see you so upset- truly it did! Your melancholia and fear visible from your tear filled-eyes. But on the other, he felt no remorse, if anything your fear boosted his hero complex even more. All he wanted was nothing but for you to run into his arms, and call out his name, allowing him to comfort your worries, concerns, and agony. His poor, heartbroken girl. If only you knew how pretty you looked when you cried.

[axstoria]

Bruce Wayne kisses like you're the last thread of sanity holding him to this world. He'll cradle your face in his hands, lips making long, languidly slow movements over your own. By the end of it, you're pushed against some kind of furniture and panting, while he's already leaving to pull on his cowl. It hurts to see him go, yet you know that he'll be home again to kiss you senseless until the world makes sense.

Richard Grayson kisses like he'll be dead tomorrow. Little pecks along your cheek, forehead, neck—anywhere he can get those plush lips on. He'll kiss you until you're both breathless, chests heaving and faces flushed. He'll love you until the day he dies, and he makes sure that you know that. Every day, he spends like it's his last, and every day, he makes sure to give you so many kisses, you're drowning in his love.

Jason Todd kisses like he doesn't know how. Sure, he's had a few hookups, especially during his early days as Red Hood, but he's never kissed a person like you. He loves you, it's as simple as that. With others, he is rough and fast, not knowing how to slow down and just enjoy the presence of the person beneath him. With you, all he can do is be gentle, because you're the only person who has stayed and loved him as the broken man he is.

Tim Drake kisses you like he's trying to study you. He'll nip at your neck and jaw just to see how you react, just to grin to himself as he observes the way you melt into him when his lips meet yours. He'll let his hands wander to see what makes you relax, what makes your lips stutter against his. He enjoys every interaction like you are his subject and he is the scientist. He needs to know everything. Knowledge calls for him in his blood, and you, his love, are the doorway to it.

AgedUp!Damian Wayne kisses expensively. He starts at your jaw, making soft motions towards your lips until he finally claims them with his own. His wide hands hold you in place by the waist and his dark hair tickles your skin. He'll take his time, loving on you the way you deserve. He knows just how to kiss you like he knows just how to kill a man. He kisses soft and slow, because why would he have to rush? He has his beloved in his arms, whispering his name against his lips; what more could he want?

[arkangelo-7]

I have this image in my head of Dick trying to pretend to be Batman in a JL meeting but then saying shit that’s so out of pocket just because it sounds like something Bruce would say, and Clark is just sitting there side-eyeing the fuck out of him because there is no way that’s his boyfriend bestie wtf.

[thief-of-eggs]

Headcannon that Bruce dedicates a little area on a wall in the manor to hanging photos of all his kids and their achievements- except, just like an overachiever new mom who insists she’ll make a detailed scrap book for each kid- he looses momentum after the first kid or two.

Which means there’s a huge section dedicated to Dick and all his minor accomplishments over the years, followed by one or two photos of Jason, followed by two large blank spaces on the wall (Tim and Cass)

He doesn’t let Alfred finish hanging things because he SWEARS he will get around to it. And maybe he will. Eventually…

But in the meantime it’s stuck looking like he has clear favorites, especially since Damian gets into the habit of hanging up pictures of himself on the other end of the wall (he cannot allow the non-blood children of Bruce Wayne to surpass him in recognition in his own home)

Tim doesn’t really notice since his own home didn’t have too many pictures of him. Cass doesn’t mind since she doesn’t always like seeing her own likeness. Jason thinks it’s hilarious to bitch about every time he sees it, claiming that Bruce didn’t even care enough after he’d died to at least hang up an updated school photo for him.

And of course everyone loves to tease Dick over it, given just how many photos and newspaper clippings adorn his section of the wall. Not that Dick is ever affected by any of their teasing- after all, who wouldn’t want their old school photos displayed proudly on the walls?? He doesn’t understand the embarrassment

[timmydraker]

Tim who does crochet.

It’s Dick who is given the first gift, long before Tim is Robin and even before he knows who Robin is.

It was simply because he was a kind kid who had been there to witness something horrible and wanted to comfort the poor boy he saw sobbing off two lost loved ones.

Little Tim walked up to Dick with the crochet elephant that was admittedly a little funky looking and held it up to him without making eye contact. He had hidden the small plushie from his parents lest they disapprove of his hobby, just like they did with drawing and skating.

Dick had beamed happily and held onto the toy, saying it was so cute and how Tim should be so happy to have it.

Tim had frowned and shook his head, “It’s for you, Mister Grayson. It’s Tifa.”

Never had Tim seen someone so in awe of his creation as he did in that moment and it made him beam just like Dick had been.

Once Dick took the little elephant into his hands Tim had bolted away.

Bruce was next, being gifted a big fluffy jumper on his first birthday after loosing Jason. It was a soft, light green with too long sleeves that went over his ass. It was big, far too big, and thick enough that it might even be too hot in autumn.

He didn’t wear it for a while, mainly because he ignored the big wrapped present Tim had left in his room out of guilt and shame and even a little frustration.

When he opened it up he put it on and promptly broke down, finding the feeling more similar to a hug than he thought something non-hug could get.

He wore it in front of Tim once to show he appreciated it and then wore it whenever he was injured.

Steph got a few things, mainly tops and one big blanket that he gave her after they reconnected when she came back. It had been his way of saying he forgave her and wanted to be her friend again without using words.

Cass got a big poncho with a hood that was rainbow, bright and loud while still capable of hiding her when she felt she couldn’t be seen.

It took a long time for him to make Jason anything after he came back. When he did, him and Tim avoided each other for over a year until Tim overheard Alfred talking to Bruce about how sad it was to not see his two bright boys getting along.

Alfred had been pouring tea with the pot he made a kettle warmer snug with Lilly of the Vally on it when he said it.

So, Tim had searched through his old photos of Jason’s Robin and made himself recall those old ideals and awe. He made himself remember what Jason also had ripped from him and, while it wouldn’t change or excuse how Jason had brutalised him, it made him understand him more.

He decided that instead of joining to Jason and having a heart to heart, that he should do what all bats did and start off without saying a thing.

He makes Jason a blanket that took him over a month of a floral book cover of Jane Ire.

Tim was relived when it was done and simply left it laid out on Jason’s bed in his latest hideout with a note that said,

“I know little about Jane Ire, maybe you could tell me about it sometime?

~ Tim. D.”

Jason had sent him a text a day later to say he could send him a copy with his annotations if he wanted.

It wasn’t long after Tim had read the book, taking twice as long with all the notes Jason had left in it, that he was then left to make something for Damian.

Naturally, he didn’t want to at first.

Also naturally, he got bored and wanted to make another animal after seeing Tifa again. She was cute, but a little munted with age.

He took one look at Titus and promptly made a plan to create him with crochet. He wanted to give it to Bruce after he was done, but he’s only an asshole when he finds it entertaining.

At heart, he’s a kind boy, so he gives it to Damian.

When he gets an actual, verbal thank you from the new Robin, he makes Alfred the Cat and Ace, then finally Bat-cow and Goliath.

The best thing he’s made, according to Duke, is Signals first ever fan made merch that he wears nearly all the time.

Kate says that wrong because the leg warmers he made for winter patrols have apparently saved her life.

Salina would say it’s actually the cat pawed mittens he made her when he was twelve and never told Bruce about.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Menace! Reader who keeps using the batfam’s real names during patrols/fights.

Menace! Reader who doesn’t take patrol/fights or most heists seriously at all. They have numerous plans already prepared for the case that they lose or get bodied which is all the time. But they always escape even if the boys don’t purposely let them off

Bruce will say it’s cause Menace! Reader knows and won’t hesitate to expose their true identities to the world. Which is true, but Menace! Reader thinks he’s being too dramatic.

I mean it’s not like they have an entire document detailing the atrocities Batman could have prevented if he didn’t have that stupid no-kill rule. The lives and people that has been lost to Joker. Detailing each one of them so they won’t end up as just a number under that monster’s belt.

Menace! Reader who’s always, always there for everyone of the Batfam’s members if they’re needed. Ever since Jason’s death, they made sure to keep tabs on every one of Batman’s kids.

Menace! Reader who hides how much they care, how deathly afraid they are of losing anyone in that family, Robin or not.

Yandere! Batfamily who knows of all of this and would die before anyone ever hurts you.

[keys-hellscape-1020]

Sharing a Blunt with them

A/N: I honestly feel like out of all of them Tim would be the only one to smoke butttt this is fiction and I do what I want so I hope you all enjoy. Also I went to my first ever county fair today and I got licked by a cow. I can die happy now.

Dick Grayson x gn!reader, Jason Todd x gn!reader, Tim Drake x gn!reader

Content warnings: Weed, descriptions of getting high, Jason’s and Tim’s get smutty (my bad), oral sex (but it’s not detailed)

————

Dick Grayson

So this man would only get high if he’d been with you for a while. At first he out right refused to do anything with you, which you had respected. Over time however he sees how it affects you and he gets… curious.

It’s a lazy Saturday evening, Dick had gotten some of his many siblings to cover his patrol for him so he could take the night off with you. He’s watching you roll a blunt when he speaks so softly you can barely hear him.

“Could I try it?” He asks softly, watching the way you roll the paper with practiced precision.

You blank for a moment, stopping your movements as you glance up at him. When you’d first gotten together he’d been adamantly against doing it, and yet here he was… asking for a hit.

“Sure.” You say softly as you finish rolling it. You reach for a lighter and let the flame lick against the end of the blunt. You take a small hit and exhale into the air above you before passing the blunt to Dick.

“You ever hit anything before?” Dick shakes his head dumbly, like all thought had left his brain just from thinking of getting high.

“Alright.” You say as you gently guide his hand, and thus the blunt, towards his mouth. “Just suck on it like a straw for a half second, and then take a deep breath in.”

He hesitates a moment, looking at you for confirmation. When he gets it in the form of a gentle nod from you he follows your instructions and inhales carefully.

You wait a moment before pulling his wrist back, not wanting him to get to high right off the bat. You watch as he exhaled shakily, hesitating a moment before keeling over in a coughing fit. “Shit, sorry baby I forgot to warn you about the coughing.” You exclaim, rubbing his back gently in an attempt to soothe him. “You’ll be okay. Just breathe through it babe. Just breathe.”

It takes a few moments but he does stop coughing, and when he sits up he has a slightly glassy look in his eyes. “Holy shit.” He mummers. “I didn’t think that’d do anything.”

You can’t help but laugh gently as you take another hit, still gently rubbing his shoulder. “You okay baby?” You ask as you exhale, smoke billowing out of your mouth as you speak.

He nods, gazing upon you in what seems to be awe. “I uh- I really didn’t think that’d do anything.” He repeats and he leans forward to rest his forehead against your shoulder. You run your fingers through his hair as you finish off the rest of the blunt, Dick sitting still against your side.

As you finish off the blunt and toss the end into a nearby ash tray you carefully refocus your attention on the pile of vigilante that’s glued to your side. “You sure you’re okay baby?” You ask carefully, getting a half awake nod in response.

In the future when Dick gets high with you it goes much the same, he takes one, maybe two hits and he is out for the count. He gets clingy and touchy while high, not capable of doing much outside of craving skin contact and rambling about how pretty you are. Give him some water and don’t leave him alone until he’s more or less sober again and he’ll be just fine.

Overall, as long as you know what you’re doing, 7/10 to share a blunt with.

————

Jason Todd

This man has gotten high before, but he only does it once in a blue moon when he’s really stressed and his options for stress relief are either getting high or brutally killing someone. He knows it’s not healthy, but that’s never stopped him before. And besides, he still feels it’s better than the alternative.

I feel like the first time you get high with him would be on a stormy night, you’re lounging in bed in one of Jay’s T-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. You’re on your phone, waiting until your common sense kicks in and tells you to put it down and go to sleep.

You’re lazily scrolling when you jump out of bed due to the sounds of crashing, stomping, and cursing coming from your living room. You carefully creep down your dimly let hallway, the baseball bat you keep under your bed gripped tightly in your hands.

You visibly relax at the sight of Jason in your living room, Red Hood helmet thrown on the floor and fiddling with something in his hands.

“You’re back early.” You say softly, resting your baseball bat against the wall as you walk behind him, resting your hands on his leather-clad shoulders.

He makes a vague grunt of acknowledgment at you and you peer over his shoulder to see what he’s doing. You stare in shock when you see him rolling a blunt.

“Uh, you gonna smoke that Jay?” You ask blankly, your grip on his shoulders loose in shock.

“Well I’m not messing with this shitty paper for fun.” He grunts quietly, laser focused on what his hands were doing.

You hop over the back of the couch to land next to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you watch him finish rolling the blunt, light it, and take a long drag. He exhales deeply before offering it to you.

You take the blunt and take a drag before passing it back to him. “Didn’t know you smoked Jay.” You mumble, pressing yourself against his side. He responds by leaning against the back of the couch with a groan, wrapping his arm around your shoulder while man-spreading shamelessly.

“Not normally.” He explains as he takes another hit. “But people were being fucking stupid today.” As he speaks his arm tightens around you slightly

You let out a hum of acknowledgment as he hands you the blunt, taking another hit as you look him up and down thoughtfully. “I could help take your mind off that.” You comment, already moving to lower yourself between his meaty thighs.

If this man is getting high, you know he’s very stressed. Give him some sloppy head and let him rut into you tiredly to help take his mind off it.

Overall 8/10 to get high with.

————

Tim Drake

Now this man is a whole different story, this man gets high at least 3 times a week. He comes home from a hard patrol? He’s pulling out a cart and taking a blinker before researching his latest case (he’s a firm believer he does his best work while blasted).

You want to spend a night in and get high? Sign him the fuck up. He’s not really a fan of blunts, he says they’re too much work, but he only gets the best of the best quality carts.

He’s fun to get high with too, he’ll lay across your lap, eyes tinged red as he takes another hit and coughs out a laugh before going on a rant about moth man and how he’s about 47% certain that’s he’s real. Say anything that vaguely sounds like a contradiction and he’ll launch into a rant about how you’re supposed to be on his side (all the while practically trying to bury himself in your skin).

Oh and you’ll be in for a long night if you get clingy while high. You lightly run your finger tips over his hip bone, trace a finger nail over the muscle of his arm, practically anything, and the next thing you know you’re on your back, your pants are nowhere to be seen, and you’re getting head so good you’re seeing stars. Tim normally has something to prove, Tim while high sees nothing wrong with showing you just why he’s the best. And if you can barely walk tomorrow? Well that’s just an added bonus.

You should definitely get high with Tim if given the chance, he’s bound to make you laugh and otherwise enjoy yourself. But whatever you do, make sure you have no plans tomorrow morning.

Overall 10/10, hope you don’t like walking cause you won’t be doing much of it.

[7weaslesinacoat]

dick grayson canonically works the weirdest fucking jobs.

he’s like a teenager who’s pretty desperate to start working and will take *anything* that’s available, just cus. except he’s 28 (?) and definitely doesn’t need to work

as robin he ran a SUMMER CAMP just cus it’s cute. dick just likes to get involved with random ass friend groups of coworkers. he’s like “i guess i’m gonna die someday, i guess i should just give it a shot!”

he’s a list of canonical, and headcannon jobs dick grayson has worked 🩵

Camp Instructer

vigilante (duh)

lifeguard

radio jocky

museum curator

travel guide

gymnastics instructor

gardener

mail man (but like… a hot one)

hair dresser

life coach

fitness instructor

professor

acrobat

managing an antique shop

painting miniature glass birds

working in a retirement home

cop

stripper cop

GLOBE OF DEATH rider (look it up)

retail

i headcannon that most of these jobs he didn’t even get HIRED he just showed up and started helping out and it just turned into a thing. like he just did a couple volunteer things at a local retirement home in blüdhaven, and people just assumed he worked there and gave him a schedule etc, and he just is happy to help.

or if he’s undercover for an extended period of time, and he just decides it would be cool and help his cover if he started doing ‘insert job’. and he just kept doing it past the missions requirements.

just cus he’s part of the team now! and he already told maggie he’d cover her shift at Dons Deli Emporium- even though they never officially hired him. 🤷

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Just thinking about how both platonic! yan! Dick and Jason have a habit of laying on top of their batsis and crushing her.

just look at how guilty they are....

Masterlist

Requests: open

Dick is a menace. He's a full sized golden retriever who thinks he's still a puppy. When he jumps or lays on you to try to be all affectionate...he forgets that he weighs close to if not over two hundred pounds.

No matter how often you tell him he's way too big to do this, he doesn't care.

He just loves engulfing you in these full body hugs and cannot help himself. It's cute though, if you try not to think about your lungs collapsing on itself. He acts innocent by nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck,,,,but it's a ploy to then attack you with tickles which leads to play fighting.

I mean it's his brotherly duty to be as annoying as possible. Sometimes he just likes the fact hes stronger than you and can hold you down this easily. Rookie mistake to announce you need to use the bathroom or get ready for something when you're chilling on the couch. He will trap you until the last possible second.

As much as you complain and cry, don't mind it too much. It's nice to be apart of a real family like this and Dick is trying to show his love by playing.

Jason on the other hand is just kind of clueless about the fact he's crushing you. You're sitting on the couch and Jason comes home after a long night and sees a perfect napping spot..

You don't really want to tell him that he's wayyy too big to just plop down on you like that because it's nice that he's feeling safe enough to just do these things now.

He also is like a big dog. He does that big huff and occasional twitching in his sleep. lol

Sometimes you'll also fall asleep right with him because he's basically a human weighted blanket. You'll eventually wake to him looking up at you. It's subtle but there's a soft smile there. He's happy you feel safe too.

I like to think he desperately wants to be held sometimes but he doesn't know that he needs it or even how to ask so he just does it. You naturally wrap your arms around and rest them on him anyways. He's like a little kid when he does this. It heals something inside of him. His cold un-dead body, finally feeling an ounce of fuzzy warmth.

Do you think sometimes Jason will pull a snack or something out of his pocket. Like he lays on you but then pulls out a jolly rancher as an offering. lol. One moment he's sleeping and the next you can feel him munching on something crunchy.

[bananapeeeeellssss]

I see your Bruce Wayne is dating Batman rumors and raise you this:

Everyone knows that Bruce Wayne is dating Batman. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Red Hood. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Bruce Wayne’s dead son. Everyone knows Red Hood hates Batman. This is all a very open secret. Everyone knows Tim Drake and Red Robin have a very public beef with one another. And that Red Hood used to have a very public (but much more violent) beef with the third Robin.

This leads to the general accepted truth being that Red Hood hates Batman because he is fucking his dad, and Tim Drake and Red Robin dislike each other because Tim’s brother beat up Red Robin, and, once again, Red Robin’s dad is fucking Tim’s. Everyone feels a little bad for Red Robin, being at the end of both Red Hood’s and Tim Drake’s distaste, because the former is a crime lord and the latter is *Timothy Jackson Drake*.

This, naturally, reaches the JL whom does not know Batman’s identity yet. Green Arrow makes a passing comment about having also fucked Wayne, which Batman overhears. Cue absolute bat confusion, which he does not show. And that was how the great Batman found out that he accidentally 100% enforced the rumors that he was dating himself by the way he replied to reporters strange questions that in hindsight were so incredibly obvious.

This whole time, Young Justice is having the time of their lives (while also becoming increasingly concerned) as they watch Tim switch between devices as he replies to himself on different accounts on Twitter to further his own feud with Red Robin.

And Jason is. Not sure how he feels. On one hand, Bruce is now very uncomfortable about many, many things. And people yell at Batman when he starts treating Jason like his son (especially when he yells “I’m not your son!” Because what kind of boyfriend would try to make their boyfriend’s kid their own when they clearly don’t want to be). That’s an upside. But on the other, this implies that he is *Bruce’s* son. And that brings up a lot of feelings he doesn’t want to deal with. And back on that first hand, people have mostly stopped making thirst traps of his dad (gross). And on the second once more, they have started shipping Red Robin and Tim.

And the others are just sitting back and enjoying the ride (they are absolutely a part of this, but I’m too lazy to type out and come up with ideas for the rest)

[kitkats-and-kittens]

Can we have some more bilingual Damian Wayne moments please?

They did it a little in older comics with him speaking in his own language as well as Cantonese in one comic panel I can remember. Besides those two and English I don’t know what other languages he speaks, but at minimum it’s three, though I feel like the league would’ve probably trained him in more.

Still I haven’t seen it as often and it makes me sad, because as a bilingual person with many bilingual friends the fuck ups are usually hilarious.

Like with Damian especially I feel like he would overcorrect cause the English language has so many exceptions to it’s very loosely defined gramma rules and he’s such a perfectionist that he would stick to that shit even after finding out it’s wrong, I also think it would drive him a little bit insane cause it’s technically right, but it also isn’t (not speaking from experience at all).

Also while we’re at it let’s just throw the rest of the Batfam in there cause I’m pretty sure they all speak at least one other language. I want a comic panel like the scene in Umbrella Academy where Diego and Ben start arguing in Spanish and Korean respectively except it’s eight kids all screaming (or signing) at each other in several languages some of which aren’t even human.

[qcomicsy]

Phrases I bet were said on the Wayne Manor without context.

Duke *looking at Dick while he puts his coffee on the breakfast table*: So you're telling me that superman was your stepdad?

Dick: He was NOT my stepdad.

Duke: HE TOOK YOU AND BRUCE TO BOWILING!

Dick: He was being nice!

Duke: MY BROTHER IN GOTHAM THAT'S A DATE-

Alfred: Master Tim ..... Wheres your spleen?

Jason (To duke): Oh yeah shit you haven't died-and-brought-back yet- So...

Tim: Now if you beat me- It's a hate crime.

Duke (to Jason): See? this is why you died without ever having felt the touch of a woman.

Damian (to Tim): I couldn't care less if your friends are coming over for diner, Alfred the cat it's not leaving this table.

Steph (To Bruce): You just mad because I me and Tim used to make out on the Batcave

Bruce (to Tim): You what?

Damian: ... No I don't care if it's homophobic Iwill break his hand if he touches my Utena collection again.

Jason (to dick): whY IS THIS MF ALWAYS HERE?! DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB-

Tim (to Damian): Have you ever had this days where you feel like nothing

Damian (to Tim): "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE. dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.

Bruce (To 29 year old Dick): I will not ask again get out of this chandelier right now-

Bruce (To 10 year old Dick): No I cannot refund you that's not gow it works-

15 Year old Dick (To Bruce): HE'S NOT MY BROTHER ... (To Wally on his phone) Yeah I can't go today I have to watch my stupid brother.

Jason Todd (To a very very scared Bernard): Have you ever killed someone?

[dehydrated-turtle]

Vampire!Dick Grayson

//warnings// +16, mdni, transmasc!reader

//a/n// I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS FOR HALLOWEEN UGH but anyway this spawned in my brain when i saw this post so thank them for this

Vampire!Dick Grayson who actually loves to cuddle because you're warm. He loves to be little spoon, feeling your warmth emanate from your chest onto his back, he may be dead but he has to know that you're alive. he loves that he can feel himself getting warmer against you

Vampire!Dick Grayson who loves the fact that you're nipples stay hard under his touch because of his lean fingers being cold. rolling them perpetually in his grasp without them going soft, if anything they get harder.

Vampire!Dick Grayson who loves to nip at your skin. he won't actually suck your blood because he loves you too much but he will definitely leave bite marks, more often than he would leave hickeys. leaving his mark on your neck saying "my boy" in your ear as he fucks into you.

Vampire!Dick Grayson who can smell the blood when you're on your period and begs you to let him eat you out. he practically gave you a slideshow presentation on why he should, one of the reasons being it helps with cramps

Vampire!Dick Grayson who would drink the blood from your menstrual cup (if you use one) and help you take it out every night before eating you out on the edge of the bathtub to "help clean up", mhm sure

[arkangelo-7]

I’m sure someone’s already headcannoned this, but Bruce having pet names for the Batkids? Man, those are his babies—you can bet your ass he has pet names for them. He might not be the type of man to show much affection beyond a shoulder pat or the occasional forehead kiss, but he’s determined to parent the crap outta these orphans, and pet names are an easier medium to show that he cares.

Dick is both “chum” and “sweetheart” depending on the context. When Bruce is feeling playful and comfortable (the easy, “your mine and I’m just happy to be here with you” kind of love), he’ll stick with “chum” and Dick absolutely loves it. But when Dick’s sick or has a nightmare or got injured during patrol? It’s sweetheart. It’s default mode for Bruce, because seeing Dick in pain brings up so many raw, intense emotions (Bruce gets scared, goddamit) that it’s easier for him to say “I’ve got you, sweetheart, it’s okay, just keep your eyes on mine,” then it is to say “I’m so terrified that I’m going to loose you, I love you, you’re my everything.”

Jason is“Jaylad.” But it’s less of the name that’s important and more of the story behind it that is. For the first few months that Jason was in Bruce’s care, Bruce didn’t dare call him anything other then his name, in fear that he’d scare him away (he was already so distrusting, so hesitant, so fearful whenever Bruce talked to loud or moved to fast or got upset), but at the same time, he’d seen how pleased Dick had been at being called “chum” and wanted to bestow a similar endearment on Jason. But—he didn’t want to go to far. So instead of calling him “lad” like his own father had once called him, Bruce calls him “Jaylad.” It’s a little more impersonal, but it makes Jason more comfortable. (But when Bruce cradled his son’s broken body he said “no, darling, not you, don’t leave me—” because just how Dick is “sweetheart,” Jason has also always been “darling.”)

For Tim… it’s more complicated. He shoved his way into Bruce’s life and he’s forever grateful, but it wasn’t the same as it was with Jason and Dick. He sees Tim as his son, of course, but their relationship was built on the darkest, most despairing part of Bruce’s life. But even in that terrible season, Bruce would look over at Tim working on a case or cleaning his suit and say, “Good job, sport.” It doesn’t happen often, but Tim is “sport.”

Cassandra is “love.” Bruce has never said it to her, aloud, but he knows Cass can read him well enough to hear the unspoken endearment, to see how much he longs to protect her, bring her joy, fill her heart with all the love she’s filled his with.

Steph is “duck.” And not necessarily because Bruce decided that it was, but because 9 times out of 10 he finds himself screaming, “Robin, get down!” because Stephanie will not for the love of God follow his orders, and end up right in the line of fire. To save time he eventually just started saying “Duck!” It keeps Steph from getting whacked to high heavens and saves Bruce (another) heart attack, but over the years it’s also become somewhat of a ritual to say “duck” whenever Steph walks in the room. Bruce secretly wants to call her “ducky” (which is what his mother called Kate), but he’s never worked up the nerve.

Duke is “kid.” By the time he’s in the family, Bruce has loosened up and lightened up, especially with everyday affection (which is to say, he’s not avoiding it like the plague). He’s quick to say “Good job, kid” whenever Duke had an accomplishment or ask “how are you today, kiddo?” when they see each other in passing in the Batcave.

Damian, lastly, would never allow Bruce to call him anything other then his name. But every once in a while, Bruce can get away with saying “son.” And it’s the best thing in the world.

[axstoria]

All the Batkids using Bruce's cape as a little hideyhole. 😭

It started with Dick in his Robin years as a way to convince Bruce to carry him to the Batmobile after patrols. As independent as he liked to be, he liked being carried by the taller man more.

It continued with Jason. He'd hide under the cape as a scare-tactic, jumping out at the right time and yelling a loud, "Halt!" It did nothing but make the goons give a little 'aww' and often go easier on the little bird.

After Jason's death, Tim rarely went under Bruce's cape. Robin wasn't his place, Batman's cape wasn't for him. Yet, Bruce would often usher him under, pretending Tim was Jason hiding from villains again. He couldn't deny the grieving man, nor the way his chest warmed.

Steph did it for fun. She thought the weight of it was perfect, and she'd often giggle as she clung to Bruce's leg, merging into the bulk of the man. Scaring Gordon was her favorite when she'd pop out of nowhere in the middle of a chat on a rooftop.

Damian kept the trend alive for the same reason Jason did: to scare people. Except, unlike Jason, Damian struck fear into the hearts of people as he jumped from his father's cape, wielding a sword and an untamed fury.

And sure, maybe the real reason all of them liked to hang out under Bruce's cape was because it was safe and warm and heavy, making them sleepy and comfortable, but they'd never admit it. They just liked being close to their dad.

[enticeless]

#WayneVegasWedding Part 1