#destiny potato

[corin-tuckers-left-one]

You know I would not have expected a band called Destiny Potato to go that hard.

[hanzajesthanza]

this looks like a long time but initially it said 1 MONTH 15 days

[ahamkara-apologist]

Not to be insane in your inbox but I simply MUST hear more of your Uluran specbio headcanons. They keep me sane.

Okay yeah I'm just gonna post this now- been fiddling with it for several weeks and keep getting distracted by cool reproductive biology facts (like the complexities of rhino cervixes and why it makes conservation efforts via artificial insemimation so difficult) so here ya go. Most of this is reproductive biology bc I'm studying to be an evolutionary geneticist for conservation purposes, so be aware of that- all that good stuff is under a readmore

*Note: I started using the terms ‘bulls’ for male Uluru and ‘sows’ for female Uluru midway through this bc I got tired of writing ‘male/female’ over and over again, as this doc also contains Eliksni and Hive biology musings. It helps distinguish the Uluran section from the others a bit. I also use Uluru/Uluran interchangeably, with ‘Uluru’ being the notation for individuals and ‘Uluran’ being the notation for a group/the species as a whole.

General:

-The exposed upper gumline we see in almost all Uluru faces isn't how their lips normally rest; baring the teeth and upper gum is an expression of superiority/confidence in their strength. The reason we almost always see their faces in this position is because the Uluran almost universally view humans as weaker, and even those like Caiatl (who has seen otherwise) does it on instinct because they cannot fathom how much smaller we are

-Which, to be fair, doesn't say a lot; an Uluru with a relaxed mouth typically only occurs in private, when around their mate or equals. When an expression can mean both 'I am greater than you' as well as 'I am confident in myself and my abilities', and the whole society they live in is based around being the best of your class, then it's going to be a very common facial expression

-(On a side note: their growth hormones being triggered by a sense of pride isn't actually all that outlandish. House Sparrows exhibit a similar occurrance in real life, where winning dominance battles against other males increases the size of their bib, a black patch on their chest that indicates where they are placed in their social hierarchy. The more fights they win, the bigger their bib)

-Uluran fat distribution is mostly internal, and is focused around the organs to act as shock barriers when fighting; their muscles typically layer over the fat bands. The one exception to this is around the throat/jowl area, where fat layers over the thick muscle pads to help protect the vulnerable area from being gored by tusks during fighting

-Unlike in human society, hitting on a married individual is not socially unacceptable, especially if the individual doing the flirting believes that the pairing is an unfit match for one another and they can do better. It's considered romantic and marriage-affirming for the partner who's being shamed in this situation to chase the other suitor off. This weighed especially heavily on the sows bc of the vulnerable mate-guarding lactation period post-pregnancy

-(However it should be noted that Uluran gender roles are less restrictive in some ways than humans bc they’re based more on the strength of the individual than their ability to perform preset social rules, and that in modern times this is more for show)

-Historically, reverse-harem groups were a common sign of status, with one particularly fit sow mating with three or four bulls and/or having ‘lesser’ males that she did not mate with (or stole from other sows) nursing her calves. In some extremely traditionalist groups/among gladiators, this still occurs, but most mating groups max out at three individuals because the posturing required to keep people interested is just…a lot. Its a lot of mutual impressing to do

Reproductive biology:

-Much like hyenas, sows have a pseudopenis that is a result of increased androgens, and big pseudopenises on sows are seen as a mark of great status/strength. Tusk size/growth rates is also sometimes correlated with pseudopenis size, since the amount of androgens in the blood stream are correlated with both tusk growth rates and penis size

-Unlike hyena pseudopenises, however, the urinary tract does run through the shaft of the clitorus, while the birth canal essentially opens halfway down the shaft, creating a pouchlike vaginal opening. Arousal is required for this pouch to unfold; if not, penetration cannot occur, and in an unaroused state, it collapses in on itself into the base of the shaft, which then folds into the sheath for total protection. This evolved to keep the genital area clean, but has been co-opted to prevent mating until the female is ready, much like hyenas

-Yes, in less civilized times the pseudopenis was also used for dominance displays. During the breeding season, sows would evert their hemipenes in a half-erect state to essentially show off their fitness, which would greatly influence male mate choice. Tusk size = general status, penis size = reproductive status

-Bulls only receive a spike in androgens after the sows actively courting them go into an estrus cycle, which triggers increased sperm production and makes their testicles swell in size to what would be normal on a mammal (inspired by how bird testicles increase in size during mating season) and skyrockets their seminal viability 200% above average, specifically for the purpose of fertilizing a female in estrus. After fertilization occurs, they have to be around a pregnant sow for an extended period of time to a.) drop them back to a normal, non-breeding state and b.) induce lactation for the arriving calves, which is typically when mate guarding begins to occur in earnest. Both hormone cycle mechanisms are pheromonally regulated, but may have a 'ghost cycle' occurrence where the hormone fluxes occur on a very minor level

-As a consequence: very humanly 'masculine' bulls are typically less traditionally attractive compared to bulls with what we might consider more 'feminine' traits. Bulls with too much testosterone will have tusks on par with sows, larger penises, and testes that are noticeably descended from the abdominal cavity. While they are typically more capable of fertilizing sows, they are incapable of producing milk or are subpar at it, which means they cannot gestate the resulting calves effectively, so that increased fertility is essentially useless

-(However, it is important to note again that Uluran gender roles do not correlate to human ones, and high-testosterone bulls will still be considered very valuable fighters, warriors, and champions. They're just not considered suitable mate material, and are laughed or scoffed at if they ever want to have a family of their own. Ghaul was an example of a high-testosterone bull)

-[OOPS I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE THIS TWICE BUT DONT WANNA DELETE IT] Fertilization is internal and requires cooperation of both parties to occur. The female vaginal opening itself is composed of erectile tissue, and directly connected to the base of the pseudopenis; when aroused, it everts from the body cavity in an unfurling motion (as the outer labia are composed of thick skin that tuck inwards for protection) and sticks out a bit for ease of penetration.

-The male penis does much the same, but is long, thin, and semiprehensile, allowing it to easily curve under the curve of the abdomen and slip into the vagina via touch alone. The head flares after ejaculation to scrape out the sperm of opposing males, but isn’t terribly effective at it, as it is composed of soft, spongy tissue to be able to exit the tighter vaginal opening. Because bulls typically pick only one sow to mate with, the effect is not terribly drastic compared to, say, the Eliksni (who are much more promiscuous)

-Vanilla sex is typically done standing, with abdomens pressed together and reciprocal stimulation occurring in a slow rocking motion until orgasm is obtained. Casually reclining is another option, but the evolutionary default was to mate while standing bc it allowed for quicker reaction timing if a threat approached

-Uluran have 5 nipples, placed under the main abdominal fat pad and covered with their pouch, which is a flap of tough hide with very elastic skin around its edges that can be torn away if a certain pattern of muscle contractions occur (much like lizard caudal autonomy). Both bulls and sows have a pouch that can be opened, but it is vastly reduced to a mere fold of skin on sows. The pouch typically only opens when stimulated by the birth of calves (triggered by the scent of newborn calves), or when stimulated from within. The skin that seals it shut has no pain receptors, and calf ejection has to be voluntarily triggered in order to occur- the default pathway is 'closed'.

-Births are a private affair, limited only to one's mate; a midwife and their apprentice may come stay on the property, but typically only come in if something is wrong. Even though Uluran calves are born underdeveloped, much like marsupials, they also suffer from the same evolutionary blows dealt to humans in that an upright stance and larger brains made birth more difficult. Pair that with the fact that they're coming out of a narrow birth canal, and yeah, first-time births are often quite painful; Uluran culture typically see birth as a battle, and first births (where tearing of the vaginal canal almost always occurs in some capacity) as a blood rite.

-If possible, the calves are born onto the bulls's abdomen as he guards/monitors his mate, which is all the help that they are traditionally allowed to get as they crawl into his pouch and latch onto a tear to complete development. Any that fail to reach the pouch are left to die

-Up to five calves can be born at a time, but 2 is typically much more common. Of a five-calf litter, only four will ever be healthy; the fifth will always be a runt, and almost never survive. Six is practically unheard of, and always leads to the litter dying because all of the other calves are too underdeveloped to have been carried to term

-Calves are roughly palm-sized when born, and are a stoutly compact, rectangular pink blob of flesh. They're essentially fetus potatos, with the only developed part of them being their crawling limbs. Their skin is transparent, thin, and heavily vascularized, especially along their bellies, as the interior of a bull's pouch is also highly vascularized, and oxygen exchange occurs through cross-current exchange across the skin. Once they find and latch to a nipple, the babies will essentially fuse belly-first to their father's pouch + teat, and will stick there until they're developed enough to leave the pouch and start breathing on their own (the thick hide on their bellies is the last thing to develop before leaving the pouch). This also means that calf ejection is almost always fatal, as it involves the tearing of that oxygen-exchange patch

-Uluru milk consists almost entirely of protein, with the remaining content being mostly fats. There's very little sugar in it, and just enough water to give it the consistancy of something slightly thinner than heavy cream. It's basically an antibody-packed protein shake, and allows the calves to grow at tremendous speeds once born. They're capable of tripling their weight in the first week alone

-(Coincidentally, how fat a baby is when they leave the pouch is deemed a way to tell how fit the male is to be a father. The fatter the baby is, the sexier the male, as that means he's fit enough to be producing very high-quality milk at very little cost to himself)

-(Yes this means that Calus was peak dilf material in Uluran terms. Deal with it)

[crispy0nion]

Honestly one thing about lightfall that I'm still mad about is the utter lack of context about the veil. Like what is that thing. Why did it pick a million sad guys in a trench coat as it's spokesperson. Why and how does it make us hear The Voices™. Why is it shaped like a tuber. Can i put it in my soup

[uldren-sobs]

I feel like no one else uses Vesper of Radius but mine is glued to my Warlock purely for the drip and Arc Rift go Brr

[fieriframes]

[A LITTLE MORE WATER. A LITTLE MORE WATER. OKAY. MAJOR EVENTS THAT WILL INFLUENCE ITS DESTINY ARE FORESEEN? MASHED POTATOES AND FARMER'S CHEESE.]

[theempresskaizer]

the coat is a deep dark blue and its not immediately noticeable but if you zoom in, youll see the little red speck scattered around the coat! i love it so much so i added red gloves and shoes to match them

shaders under the cut for those interested

[crmsndragonwngss]

It's International Women's Day, so here's a playlist of my top 13 favorite ladies in the metal and core scene today

[dynjay]

Dawn of the final day...

[strymes49]

Plush Strymes and his leftover Christmas dinner cube

[fingertipsmp3]

Gotta love when someone starts complaining about their mean spinster great-aunt and you’re just like.. I’m in this photo and I don’t like it

[tiredcowboyy]

The treasures of my future

I cant stop thinking ab the idea of merlin one day post s5, where they all survived, becoming really secretive and protective of his room and not telling anyone at all whats inside. Not even gaius. He even gets a lock installed and whenever anybody asks he brushes it off with jokes like “its to stop arthur from finding me” or smth.

he also unrelatedly really hates any talk of destiny, going to war, and anytime morgana mentions her fear of her magic turning her merlin slightly freaks out.

That is until one day gaius manages to catch merlin off guard while hes rushing between the main room and his bedroom and walks in.

Only to see a whole bunch of stuff that hes never seen before.

Merlin freaks out, tries to play it off as some weird experiments and stuff hes been collecting but gaius can feel it, somethings different about these items, not wrong but not right. Not really magic either.

It takes 3 weeks of gaius pestering him before merlin breaks and explains to him that he IS A TIME TRAVELER. after the battle of camlan as we know it that lead to arthurs death, merlin did wait, he really did, but in the year 2020 when arthur didnt return for yet another global crisis, merlin broke and did spell upon spell until he figured out how throw himself back in time.

And holy shit did it work well. He managed to come back just at the perfect time to change everything that needed to be done to assure that everyone lives happily and safely, and when he realises hes done it, he decides to stay in this time. See his friends and family grow old as they should have. See arthur rule as he should have. Live the life he has been craving to go back to for centuries now.

Until a month in he realises how old everything is. Sure merlin can survive without his phone and stuff but theres a few things he really misses. Like his slippers, his potato peeler, his favourite hoodie, and especially his favourite tea flavours.

So once in a while he allowed himself to go back to the modern day and bring one thing back. He started with a scented candle, because candles exist in camelot and having one here shouldn’t mess up time right? Then moved onto a herbal tea that he knows if he traveled past the boarders he may be able to find similar ingredients.

Then he brings a new release of his favourite book series because he cant help it and realises small things like that dont change time.

And so thats what he’s been hiding away in his room, all of his modern day stuff. Ranging from trinkets hes collected over his life to his favourite scarf to his stuffed lion that he won at a fair in the 80s. He doesn’t go back often, only when his tea runs out or he really needs something, he tries to limit it he really does.

It takes gaius another 4 weeks to wrap his head around it all. Another 2 weeks after that to touch merlins stuffed lion thinking it may attack him at any moment.

He makes gaius promise to not tell a soul, offering him tea bags as payment. They have a nice system from then on, gaius would try a new flavour of tea everytime merlin returned, once in a while he would also bring a modern day snack (gaius yelled when he first tried salt and vinegar crisps).

A yell which led to leon finding out. And so a cycle began.

[mukumukunomi]

Head Empty. Only You.

OPLA Luffy x Fem!Reader (can be read as gn!reader)

cw: tooth-rotting fluff, no smut, implied relationship, kissing (smooch smooch), no spoilers

wc: 1,110k

a/n: It's been a long time since I've written or been on tumblr. But the new OPLA has got me wanting to share again.

❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

There’s a subtle crinkle in the corner of his mouth that indicates when he’s in deep thought. It makes itself known when he’s not smiling, which is as rare as it is concerning. 

He sits so still at the figurehead of the ship. A stark black silhouette sitting against a canvas of oranges and reds. It almost seems to set him ablaze in their glory, as if he’s the ember and the sky burns only when he’s under it. 

Monkey D. Luffy in a contemplative state is unpredictable. What does a man who fears little to nothing contemplate about? 

“Y/N?” He asks quietly, softly. He says it with a hint of cheekiness like your name holds a meaning only he’s privy to. You realize you’ve been staring at him long enough for the sun to completely dip beyond the horizon. 

You clamber up to where he sits, plopping down as he moves to make room. You stare into a watery void of dark waters. The ocean is completely opposite to its usual appearance. Deep blues and purples replace the turquoise and aquamarines of daylight. It's somehow eerie.

His knee bumps against yours, the subtle contact of skin enough to break the trance of silence you find yourself in. It brands your own skin with its warmth. 

“Are you okay?”

He ponders the question, picking at the fibers that stick out of the straw hat on his head. “I’m thinking.”

You roll your eyes, propping your head up with a hand against your knee. He says it like it isn’t obvious.  “Whatcha thinking about?”

He squints into the void. You almost think he’s looking for the answer out there beneath the waves. Searching for an answer in the one place he can’t physically look.

“You.”

Your heart stutters as you answer without thinking. “Why?”

You can’t fathom being the forethought of his thoughts. That someone like him spends hours in the quietness thinking about you. Your existence feels minuscule in comparison. 

He cocks his head to the side. “There have to be a reason? I just like thinkin’ ‘bout ya.”

He’s effortless, you think. For how grand the trajectory of his destiny seems to be, he’s effortless in being simple. Luffy is a man who’s complicatedly simple. 

You clear your throat and try to resist the flush that rises in your body. You hope he can’t see the blush that’s dusting your cheeks when his dark orbs finally meet yours. “What-what about me do you think about?”

A different kind of line creases his face as his gaze smolders. You’re familiar with this crinkle. It’s the dimple of his cheeks when he smirks. It jars you how much of a difference one dimple makes. He’s like starlight in the darkness.

Confidence is not something Luffy lacks. But when he’s especially sure about something, there’s nothing anyone can do to change his mind.

“Everything!” He says, grabbing your hand and squeezing it, “I like when we sneak into the kitchen at night. Oh! Or when we pranked Sanji by replacing the potatoes with tangerines! Or how about the time we convinced Usopp to paint Zoro’s face with ink and it wouldn’t wash off for days!”

He taps your entwined hands against his knee in excitement. You can’t help but be infected by his joy as he babbles on.

“And remember when Nami got so mad when we spent half her berry on that weird fortune teller? They turned out to be fake! But then you smiled and said…”

He trails off then, staring at you. You’re not sure where his mind is heading as the silence stretches longer than you anticipate. 

“...you said as long as we’re together it doesn’t matter what the future holds.”

Suddenly, you’re no longer sitting beside him. A tug on your hand invites you to settle for straddling his lap instead. You can’t help but melt into the hug he gives, returning it as your hands settle just at his shoulder blades. His hands around your waist and nose brushing against your neck sends a flutter of butterflies to your stomach. 

He inhales you like you’re the oxygen he breathes. “I’m always thinking about ya' when you’re not beside me.”

A torrent of emotion whirls inside. Luffy is always physical. He has a touch-starved obsession. He craves closeness with others and doesn’t discriminate in who that applies to. But here with just you two, you suddenly feel the full brunt of his affection. You don’t know what else to do but hold him tighter and bury your face in his shoulder.

“Hey, look at me.” He demands. He pulls away slightly to hold you a hair's breadth away, noses almost touching, as he searches your face. “Talk to me.”

He’s always so jealous of your attention. You squish the hollows of his cheeks together as you grasp his chin. Your eyes rove over his facial features and trace the contour of his brow. You follow it to the scar under his eye and down his jaw until you finally land on his lips. He looks like a blow fish, utterly ridiculous in your grasp, but there’s a glint in his dark orbs. It's as dangerous as the glint of a knife in the dark.

Unconsciously, you lick your lips. 

“You know what I think about?”

“Whaf-?” He tries to ask. The words don’t quite form in their current state puckered between your fingers. His eyebrows raise dramatically to emphasize his curiosity instead.

“How much I like kissing you…and when I’m going to kiss you again.” You smile deviously when that glint of his seems to sparkle. 

He giggles at you. It’s boyish compared to the look on his face. He pulls himself from your grasp. “How about now?”

You feign a look of surprise, looking around in mock confusion. “Now? Here? Are you sure now’s a good time? I thought you were too busy thinking about me alone in the dark.”

Your teasing earns you a pout. He whines as you give a hearty laugh.

“You’re such a big baby-” You begin, but Luffy surprises you by grasping your chin and slamming your lips together. 

His kiss is electrifying despite the fact his rubber constitution should make it impossible. It sends tingles up and down your spine and you hum as he traces the outline of your lips with his tongue. He sighs when you open your mouth. Your heart is open and tender in this moment, and he cradles you like you’re as important as the hat on his head. You are. He reminds you everyday.

Eventually, the cold spray of the ocean’s waves is forgotten.