#depression moment
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Lol you ever just
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does anyone else ever get random pangs of the most intensely deep melancholy that leaves you feeling like you’re dying of thirst and drowning at the same time, or do i just have issues?
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Depression really is just like being followed around by a studio audience and whenever you do anything it goes “BOOOOOOOOOOO” at deafening volume
#trying to have self compassion by recognizing this . lmao#like. no wonder so many ppl are sad#no wonder I am sad!!!#depression moment#bbge.diary
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oooookaayyy im changing my art posts from daily to often since summer break ending has me crippled (figuratively but also quite literally) and my interest has grown away a bit from rain world again.
itll come back someday full force once more, dont worry
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Me: *Gonna teach myself Taylor and Maclaurin series to have a rigorous understanding of Calculus II, so I can take Linear Algebra and Differential Equations, as well as Multivariable Calculus*
Brain and body: No...
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#real#depression moment#trauma survivor#neurodivergent in a neurotypical world#chronic headaches and back pain#my jaw whyyyyyyyyyyy#chronic burnout#someday i shall be a free and independent math fox
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nicky loves putting flowers in his mama's hair, naturally whenever rio is around she makes sure to grow the prettiest ones for them
#does agatha know where those beautiful flowers are coming from? definetly#she simply lets it happen because nicky loves it#and a lot of nights when rio spends a few minutes with him without agatha knowing he asks all about those flowers#and rio loves those moments where she gets to be nicky's mother#and now im DEPRESSED!#this was just supposed to be cute#sorry#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agatha x rio#agathario#agathario fanart#agatha all along fanart#evgarart
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Me when I wake up in the morning (I'm dissapointed)
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ever have one of those weeks where it just feels like life is mercilessly slurping the marrow out of the bones of your soul?
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so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.
#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#depressing shit#relatable#tasiblog#tw depressing thoughts#bpd#bpd safe#bpd stuff#borderline thoughts#bpd is a bitch#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline things#bpd blog#bpd problems#bpd life#bpd irl#bpd is bpding#bpd issues#bpd relatable#bpd struggles#bpd shit#bpd mood#bpd moment#bpd be like#bpd tumblr#bpd tag#bpd things
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i just loveee having to take medicine everyday bc without it I'm an unstable monster who tries to kill themself at any given momenttt
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Yeah the lights gone from my eyes. What about it
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did you know that if you are in a depressive episode, sometimes people will actually notice? and care?? wtf???
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girl can't tell if I'm moving away from social media at last or if I'm so depressed all I can do is play fire emblem
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ugh. guh. why do i feel like this all of a sudden
#quill.txt#i dont want to go to work today i feel immobile and horrible#depression moment#i just. ugh. guh. maybe itll be fine when i get to work#but its one of those days where i judt want to sleep for hours and hours#why does it have to feel like the whole world is so so heavy all of a sudden#i dont Want to be sad for literally no reason#this is silly im sorry lol
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I am feeling bad
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the morally questionable relationship between John Price and the darling little starlet he picks up off of the street during the golden age of Hollywood would be such a treat.
because producer!John Price is known as the best of the best in Hollywood. He has an eye for talent, they say, and a keen ability for spotting the diamonds amongst the rubble.
And of all the stars in the world, he sets his sights on you. Pretty little thing. Bright and blinding—Betelgeuse glimmering on the precipice of a supernova. All you need is a little push. A backer. A chance. And he gives it to you. Ushers you into stardom with a crooked grin around the butt of a cigar and a wicked gleam in his eyes that you—in all your artless, sheltered naivete—chalk up to pride.
The problem with sweet little darlings like you is that they all sing the same song. Yearn for the same thing. And it's so easy to mistake his interest as fatherly when the name on your birth certificate reads John Doe. And when he tells you his name is John Price, well—
It's fate, isn't it?
He told you he's been married once but had no children, and the longing in his eyes must be for the family he's never got a chance to have. So, you promise to give it to him.
Problem is: the devil lives in Hollywood and drinks his whiskey neat. You told him you'd be his family, giving him the one that left him behind. Signed your soul to blue eyes for the big screen.
Not that you'd know this, of course. To you, John is a sad widower with a heart of gold. Your overprotective bear who snarls at the directors and actors who get a little too handsy with you on set. His darling little star.
It's easy to wave everyone off when they express concern about these blurring lines between employee and employer. Boss and—
Father figure.
They just don't know him like you do.
And how funny, you tell him one evening with a wry twist to your lips, eyes swimming with sheltered mischief. They thought we were lovers, Mr Price. Isn't that just the damnedest thing?
This little quip has the opposite effect, and if only you looked a little bit closer at the gleam in his eye, the clench in his jaw, you might have seen the storm gathering on the horizon before it hit. Instead of laughing with you at the director's gall, this hilarious joke, John feels you slipping through his fingers just a little bit more. And that simply won't do.
You want a father figure? Then fine. That's what he'll be. Convenient, of course, because he's been thinking about fatherhood a lot lately, too. It's only natural that he decides to cash in on that promise you made all those years ago to make him a proud dad.
#waking up from the dredges of a steep depressive episode to bring you this soggy limp fish of an idea#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#this idea might be nothing rn but im gonna nurture it so hard the moment my brain figures out its faulty wiring#and bring you the nastiest noncon father figure breeding fic youve ever read
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