#neurodivergent in a neurotypical world

[math-introvert]

Me: *Gonna teach myself Taylor and Maclaurin series to have a rigorous understanding of Calculus II, so I can take Linear Algebra and Differential Equations, as well as Multivariable Calculus*

Brain and body: No...

[genericpuff]

What a lot of people don't understand about navigating the "real world" as a neurodivergent person is that we were told all the rules of society growing up that we naturally followed, only to find out later just how often neurotypical people are either breaking those rules or operating off completely unwritten ones to get themselves ahead and that somehow ND's are the "dumbasses" for not realizing that these unwritten rules and rule-breaking is the "norm" despite that norm going against all the rules and values that were drilled into us from birth that we were expected and predisposed to follow.

[river-from-alderaan]

being autistic in a world made for allistics kinda feels like being in the backseat of a car desperately trying to be a part of the front seat conversation

[pussysidon]

All the prosekai characters are great because they're all autistic

[legendoftherisingtide]

autistic becoming a neutral/positive adjective in todays culture would make my younger neurodivergent self so happy and hopeful (and i hope others can find that too:))

[birdricks]

every member of the smith/sanchez family is autistic and queer. see my vision

[elliotly]

Wait, you’ve never been to a psychiatrist and had your brain issues made cannon? I thought it was all intentional ngl. There are so many “Have you ever been tested for (insert disorder)” coded characters in your work.

nope, but that may change in the future! growing up, my family alas was of the belief that quote-on-quote "mental illness" is "all in your head" (which, like, yeah that's kind of the point.) Idk, to their credit, they also taught me that thoughts don't matter as much as actions do. Everyone responds differently to different things, and that difference doesn't have a Moral Value or make you a Bad Person. a lot of Instincts that People Oughtta Have don't matter as much as the positive actions those instincts are supposed to lead to, and realizing this helped me a lot growing up.

as for a lot of my characters' POVs, I often write based on how I see the world/experience things, albeit sometimes with certain facets amplified. but that's kind of why I don't claim a lot of my characters have a canonical neurodivergence and/or (insert disorder) even if it ends up being pretty obvious they might, because if it was unintentional, I don't wanna claim unintended 'representation' JK Rowling-style lol. (that being said, I do also write characters with canonical neurodivergence in mind! this stuff only applies to like, the ones where i haven't clarified/confirmed anything specific.)

[maepersonal]

we are not the same - you oppose using ai to do schoolwork because it’s cheating. I oppose using ai for schoolwork because IT’S FUCKING AI.

[emxmarauders]

Newt Scammander is neurodivergent. I will stand by this forever

[zelphafrost]

Once you learn to advocate for yourself to yourself, it becomes easier to believe you deserve to advocate for yourself to others.

[maple-crusader]

As a neurodivergent person, being honest like in general is extremely funny

"how are you?" Oh just awful, how about you?

"Doing anything good lately?" Other than being exploited at work? No, not really.

It's hard to explain in how many situations that you wouldn't expect this comes up, in good and bad ways

But their reactions, it's always entertaining

[kasumingo]

So tired of mfs going "everyone wants to be lgbt/neurodivergent now!! stop using our language!!"

it's as if the internet gave people ability to explore themselves and realize there is something going on, especially when they congregate together in groups that share those traits

It’s as if these words describe their experience and helps them in one way or another

[themaskedlady]

[t0mies-b0dy]

There's something so goddamn rewarding about being able to navigate grocery stores and errands like an adult instead of a mildly functioning neurodivergent like fuck yeah lookit me i'm a human person >:D its like bein a spy or smth and finally blending into the crowd.

And I don't mean to sound like an ableist ass while saying this, I'm a barely functioning neurodiv as well, and its still taking me a bit to admit that, to a degree, I have certain needs that neurotypical society doesn't really offer unless that neurodivergence is obvious. For people with invisible disabilities or high masking tendencies (like me, who didn't even grasp the concept of neurodivergence til I hit my 20s) it's a whole new challenge. Because on top of looking close to normal on the surface, you have people you go to about these sensory issues and get shit like "well try [neurotypical blanket solution here]!" and you do and its like fitting a screw with the wrong screwdriver, it just doesn't work that well.

It's when you find your own solutions to these issues (typically after months of trial and error) and see that ohmyfuckinggod this is what they were on about.

[scarefox]

This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.

Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.

He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.

I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.

[hiccupmistress]

PSA; autistic people have a tendency to take things quite literally. I saw a TikTok the other day (I'm afraid I didn't save it, sorry) where someone was talking about when neurotypical people will use a question as a veiled insult. I.e, "Why are you doing it that way?" is often meant to mean "You're doing it wrong", whereas neurodivergent people will take this at face value and answer why we find a method of doing a thing preferable, and vice-versa, we'll often ask "why are you doing it that way?" out of genuine curiosity to learn, and neurotypical people will interpret it in the veiled insult way.

I'd like to add to this with an experience I just had of taking something literally when a neurotypical person was being somehow non-literal. My Mum approached me with her laptop and said "I'm in no way telling you what to do, but this just popped up and I thought you should know". It was an advert for a new job vacancy at a local business. A local business that I have applied for numerous times in the past and not only have they rejected me, but their rejections have been rather condescending and inconsiderate. I simply said "They haven't exactly been encouraging in the past", and my Mum then shouted "WELL CAN'T YOU AT LEAST APPLY???", and I said "I thought you weren't telling me what to do?" and my Mum then silently stormed off, went out the front door and got in the car and drove off to have a sulk. For real though, why did you say you weren't telling me what to do if you were literally telling me what to do??

My Mum is always insisting she understands my autism and tries to accommodate it, but she is always doing things like this, no matter how many times or how carefully I explain it, and I'm apparently always the bad guy. Just say what you mean and its less of an issue, if you're about to tell me what to do, don't preface it with "I'm not about to tell you what to do". How do neurotypical people even function when nothing they say is what is meant??

I've heard of "reading between the lines", but should I just assume every day is opposite day?!

EDIT: I should clarify that I love my Mum dearly - she's the most supportive person in my life by a country mile, and she is just trying to help me get a job in this anecdote. No issue with any of that, I'm grateful. Just wish she was a little more receptive to me explaining my issues - its unfortunately a repeating pattern and I've done my very best to communicate it.