#high masking

[zebulontheplanet]

I want people to understand. Being visibly autistic, being low masking, it isn’t fun.

I want people to understand this before they go on their unmasking journey. I want people to understand this before they start “acting more autistic”. I want people to understand this. It isn’t fun. It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. I understand completely that I live in a more unaccepting area, but this is the reality for many people who are visibly autistic everywhere!

It isn’t fun. We get yelled at, called slurs, stared at, infantilized, talked over, ignored, etc etc. it isn’t fun. It HURTS.

Please please, if youre masking then realize your privilege, it’s a HARD privilege to have. I get that. It’s hard to mask, it’s hard to be passed as NT, it’s HARD. But it’s also hard to be visibly autistic. It’s so so hard. 

[neuroticboyfriend]

shoutout to high masking schizophrenics and psychotics. i know it's hard to be struggling so much but not able to let anyone see. you shouldn't have to worry about being mocked, harassed, abused, or assaulted for being yourself. for being different. for being confused. for being afraid... you deserve to be able to exist and get the support you need, not shove everything down and keep it to yourself, just to avoid more hurt. you shouldn't have to do this alone. your presence, thoughts, and feelings are just as important as anyone else's.

i hope you're able to get the compassion and community and care you need someday. and until then, know that even if you don't know us, there are people who are rooting for you - people who understand and want the best for you. as long as you're here, you are not truly alone in this. you are loved.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autism in Girls

Mrs Speechie P

[river-from-alderaan]

being autistic in a world made for allistics kinda feels like being in the backseat of a car desperately trying to be a part of the front seat conversation

[strange-nd-creature]

Autistic Stigma Axis Chart

This isn’t meant to be taken really seriously, just comparing how different people experience different forms of ableism I guess. Honestly I think most autistic people have dealt with all of these things at some point.

[adhbabey]

Idk who needs to hear this but being high masking and high support needs is not mutually exclusive.

Im high masking but I still need a lot of support for those around me. Sure, I don't need help eating or using the bathroom, but I need help living and cooking and I can't drive. I need to rely on others to live, but I'm still high masking.

And there's plenty of people who are low masking and low support. They can deal with things more independently, but they can't hide their autism.

Can we start acknowledging this. It doesn't mean the same thing. High masking does not mean you're low support. And I wish someone told me this sooner.

[localratwithcowboyhat]

When you spend years making stradegies and masking you autism only to be so good at it that the autism doctor doesn’t see enough autistic traits to diagnose you

#slaying

[kimbearablykute]

If you are autistic or love someone autistic, do yourself a favor and listen to Mixed Nuts by Official Hige Dandism if you can find it in your language (original is Japanese, I have found a couple of English covers).

while you're at it, Comedy by Gen Hoshino, Souvenir by Bump of Chicken, and Kura Kura by Ado... again in Japanese with English covers. I have been listening to them on repeat during my latest meltdown and I feel like a weight lifting off me to hear someone else vocalizing how being high masking exhausts me. I know the fictional characters they are written about are living double lives for other reasons, but the metaphor is inescapable to me.

[lottiestudying]

there’s something so freeing about identity

acceptance.

i don’t punish myself for existing anymore.

i’ve accepted life and living, and that i will have to live

this life through, like this. as autistic.

so best make the trip to heaven a good one, i guess.

i hope everyone can have the validation of an ASD

diagnosis, who needs one.

to hear that doctor say “you have autism”.

to have that

f r e e d o m;

that validation.

that it gets better.

you’re free from hiding in two worlds now—no longer faking it in the real one, or trying to get into the neurodivergent one.

it doesn’t happen automatically, not suddenly,

it moves slow,

like the tides,

but you move with it.

you flow.

and your mind feels like yours, not someone’s head

you borrowed for a day.

and that’s beautiful.

—

post-ASD diagnosis musings.

it does get better.

[zebulontheplanet]

Just your reminder. Autism in woman CAN be different. They’re more often to be high masking. We know that.

That does not mean that “women autism” is a thing. Autism is autism

You’re erasing those who have higher support needs/low masking that are AFAB.

[neuroticboyfriend]

i am mentally ill and there is nothing morally wrong with that. none of the words for marginalized experiences are free of connection to bigotry. i am allowed to use the terms that i feel fit my experience best, because it is MY life. no one else's.

you can call yourself whatever the fuck you want, too. mentally ill. disordered. chronically ill. disabled. neurodivergent. a spoonie. crazy. insane. mad. etc. etc. you can use diagnostic labels and symptom terminology. you can call things traits instead. you can use functioning labels, support needs labels, masking labels, etc.

it is YOUR bodymind. what matters most is that your experiences are expressed in ways that are helpful to you, not whether it's what someone else would use for themself.

[that1notetaker]

Me, after 15 years of high masking: Lets go! Let's do this!! Autism, on! Me: Slowly becomes more in contact with my body, therefore with the pain I tend to internalize/brush away/ ignore. Me, burning upon contact: So is this normal or what :v

(for reference, I actually don't know if this is a normal experience, so if anyone relates or knows about this, it'd be great! Just drop down the comment section!)

[xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx]

hii <3 can i get some user boxes ?

(i love love cats pls put in a cat i will be so happy)

- this user is semi-verbal

- this user's tummy hurts :(

- this user needs to be squeezed

- this user is high masking due to abuse

thank youuu :)

hi! ofc here u go :) 😸🐈‍⬛🫶

feel free to reblog/download and use on your profile but keep my username visible ty! :)

[idontwearscarletwell]

On Autistic Loneliness:

So, vampires & autism are my special interests. I find many, many links between the two. Anne Rice's vampires describe the vampiric sense of loneliness as something unfathomable. Nauseating, all-consuming. Sometimes, I feel like the autism sense of loneliness is the same. Like a vampire, I feel like there is this layer of plexiglass between myself and every single person in my life.

I've been thinking about this in terms of dating. I've never had luck, and it's something that eats me alive. I don't think I'm supposed to be alone. But, I'm supposed to figure out how to manage. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trying to brainwash myself to become jaded, complete with the holding of my eyes open to watch the screen. I think about Plato's Origin of Love theory, (and the song from Hedwig & the Angry Inch. I have the face symbol tattooed) and how this sinking loneliness feels like acid eating away at the lining of my soul.

I'd love to hear what others have to say about it.

[strange-nd-creature]

I’m stuck masking forever and don’t know how to get out of this situation

I’ve been masking for so long that my parents think that’s how I naturally act. This means that if I attempt to relax and be myself for even one second, they think I’m being annoying, attention seeking, or lazy.

I want to stim whenever I want. I want to wear headphones in public when it’s too loud for me. No, I don’t care if it makes me “look disabled” because I AM disabled.

I need help with things, but I don’t get help. Daily tasks like getting dressed, making lunch, and even brushing my teeth are hard for me because of severe executive dysfunction. My mom says that stuff happens to everyone. But I’m pretty sure she’s never been in pain because she’s hungry but doesn’t have enough spoons to be able to eat.

I don’t know how I ended up masking this much, but I hate it. I’ve finally learned how to stop, but I’m not allowed to.

[nixthemagicdragon]

"Just act like yourself" bitch I don't even know who I am. how bout I act like you and pretend like I have a clue what I'm doing instead.