#dear lord make me the biggest star

[lanitashiddencrackstash]

[evilminji]

Hey Minji! A thought for your Star Wars things!

Who ever said the SI-OC was the only one to get dumped in SW? Just. A Creche that has several Reincarnations/Transmigrants.

Oh? My god? Just... the FIRST thing that popped into my head? Was the image of one of those "we are so Unbelievably Overworked We No Longer Fear You Nor Death" Sort of office workers/team of workers(nonspecific)?

Just... fuckin EVERYBODY knows Star Wars. Not everybody focused on the same PART of it, but the DO know it. So OBVIOUSLY? The Force decided it should bring in an A Team.

It Did Not ASK the A Team.

They are... like? 4. And sitting in a soft foam, brightly colored Creche, in their lil Jedi rompers, all sitting in a circle, looking at each other like... ( -_-) (-_- ) you too, huh?

Yeeeeeep. (God does Jerry want a cigarette. Jerry gave them up in his 20s. But he's KINDA GOING THROUGH IT, okay?!) (Sarah is hyperventilating in the corner. Her KIDS! Oh GOD. Her KIDS! She was on the way to pick them up from SOCCOR PRACTICE!!!)

Just? This whole ass team of "yeah, we know the LORE, but buddy, pal, we had LIVES! What the FUCK. Star Wars was a HOBBY!" Type adults? No one is happy and everyone wants to choke the metaphysical concept of The Force with their itty, bitty lil baby hands.

They may RIOT.

And like? Do to sheer NUMBERS? They make up ALMOST a full Creche?

Almost.

There is like... one? Maybe two? Actual Jedi Babies™ in their group? It's A Team... plus our collective children. Whom we parent. The MOST baby of babies. Also the spokesperson when they want to fool anyone into thinking they're "normal".

I want Jerry to have a fake cigarette. He's looked up death sticks and like FUCK is he putting that shit in his body, but dear LORD are the oral fixation and mental effects of a past addiction still both real, and a pain in the ASS.

If you try and TAKE his fake ass, hand made, bespoke not-a-cigarette from his itty bitty lil baby hands? He will take your KNEES. These FUCKERS won't even let him have COFFEE. Let him HAVE THIS. *hisses from the walls*

I want them to be ☆~Nightmare Children~☆

They have the power of The Force, various past life skills, an uninterrupted access to the galaxy's BIGGEST LIBRARY, close proximity to FAR too many senator AND their living spaces, and? An actual negative number of fucks to give. They can take shifts. Tag team. Be creepy, horrible, terrible, God awful nightmare creatures climbing out from your WALLS.

Somehow they keep escaping.

Down through the lower temple as they examine the hidden tunnels and escape routes. Through the vents. Forcing other jedi to become VERY familiar with where those pathways are. Sure hope THAT won't someday save your lives! Ya ungrateful, "you're grounded, stop sneaking out younglings" BASTARDS! So rude!!

The camp out in the Corrie Gaurd office. Bring the babies.

Here, you seem stressed, random gaurd. Hold a Jedi Baby. They radiate sunshine and good vibes. Are literally the Anti-Old-Man-Sith. We brought caffeine and food from the temple. Are willing to follow you around like "adorable ducklings" on patrol under the excuse that we're "training" for when we get our own soilders.

Sure is INCONVENIENT for all these asshole senators to has a witness, huh?

You gaurd my back, I'll gaurd yours. And if a certain long neck trips near the stairs? You didn't see SHIT. I'm BABY. How could I POSSIBLY have the control to do that? Now excuse me... we need to practice our "we Jedi Children can stare into your SOOOOOULS, we See All Your Sins." Wide Eyed Unblinking Predator Stare.

(O.O) (O.O) (O.O)

[k-s-morgan]

TGSTLTH related

Ok so I decided to do it here cuz I don't know will AO3 allow me to write essay hahahahah 😂😂😂

I don't even know how to start this. I've been reading fics for 13 years straight, like I don't remember the period of my life where I didn't read them cuz I always have some ship active and I'm crazy BL fan. Only a small number of them can make me crazy to the point I don't wanna sleep, eat, skipping my obligations, killing the pain and your sebaciel did everything. I haven't felt like this reading fic..,maybe ever? This is totally another level of me being fascinated by some writer.

I adore sebaciel, I'm in fandom since 2016 but the biggest problem I had with their fics is that - either people go too much OOC with them orr they rush up the things between them, going quickly with sex and feelings. It bothered me so much so I was crawling for good SC fics as crazy!!

After some break with SC, I came back to ao3 and saw your long fic. I started reading it but I dropped it after 3 chapters, I got bored cuz I thought you are gonna just re-type manga and do classic thing which another people do. Quickly, I got disappointed with another one and idk how but I decided to give your fic one more chance and dear lord......that was one of the best thing I have ever read. Maybe even the best.

Like, how smart are you? What's your IQ? Your manage to explain me some things about Kuro plot which I haven't udnerstand by myself. And the way you write Sebaciel relationship. That's everything I have ever wanted. Everything. They have normal conversation and that's it, that's all I need cuz there is everything. I feel electric every time when they talk, fight, do things together, goood the little touches svbjhsdjvbvbvbvbvbsdjvhbdf. I was tense whole fic. I read it for like 10 days, abandon everything until I finished it and now I feel sad ahahhaahha. But you are really something special, cuz I always used to say that manga itself is the best fiction cuz Yana knows the best how to create good Sebaciel energy. You, next to Yana, did the best job. You kept them as they are, never broke the character, and that's what I am most grateful. Slow burn, with drama and angst, love and attention, all misunderstanding, you put all necessary spices for 5 star meal. My fav part is when Ciel told Sebastian to add slamming doors to his most dramatic moments of his life ahahahahahahhaha 😂😂 I laughed like crazy, they are so precious♥ And I really wanted kiss to happen when Ciel lied Sebastian about another demon, that was sooo svbjhsvjhjhvbdf. But okay, you know the best, I trust you fully with this♥

The fact that they are ready to kill each other before they have normal conversation about their feeling is my fetish. I am in love with toxic things. Ciel ready to throw all game just to prove Sebastian that his value is not only his soul, right after he told himself for 1000 times he needs to stay on distance..... I LOVE ITTTT!!! I also need to say that you find PERFECT balance for good plot and romance. Your games and their cases...I just don't know, deep bow for you queen🔥💯After all, you didn't retype drama ahahaha but you manage to keep it canon without changing anything but still adding your spices so it's not ordinary Kuro plot we see every day....

I just have one question. From time to time, I was like a Bard ahahhaha, so sick of their games and my head hurting me, but on a good way. I am clear about Ciel but what about Sebastian and his disgust for Ciel's nicer, soft, emotional side? I know Ciel doesn't have it a lot, but would Sebastian still be grossed out about it as he was at the beginning of a contract or not? Keeping in mind that he is more and more obsessed with a boy?

So, that's all. I don't know how to use Patreon/PayPal, but for you I'll try cuz I only have credit card and that's all I know ahhahaha, I like to keep money in my hands😂 I'm sad about the situation in your country and all under - war countries. It's not bringing any good for anyone, specially for civilians. I hope you are okay and I wish you alll the best, the good karma must hit you really quickly cuz you made one person really, really happy here♥

Looking forward how will you finish this story, have a nice day❤

PS - this is the longest comment for fic I have ever left ahhaha, it's crazy how you got me sooo hyped up bjcvsdghvbds.

Hi! Ooh, thank you so much for your amazing, wonderful essay! I can't tell you how happy it made me! I think the electricity was already started being cut off when I got it, so I could see I have some really lengthy ask, but it wouldn't load. It was the torture of the most delicious kind :D

Like you, I've been reading fics for ages now, and the moments where I find some fantastic story that won't let me sleep or work or even blink are always the happiest and the brightest spots I remember. So it's extremely flattering to know that my story has become something similar to other people.

I love writing about smart characters, but most of them are definitely smarter than me! The benefit is that since I'm writing, I can think and plan everything in advance. In real life, I only wish I were as quick-witted and inventive. Alas, the best ideas and arguments come to me when they are no longer needed.

I love slow burns, and I love characters who abhor the idea of expressing their feelings, so Ciel and Sebastian have the most perfect dynamic in my eyes. I feel like I could spend the eternity just enjoying their Gothic world with their games, arguments, plots, and so on. Them antagonizing each other only to instantly team up against the common enemy is my most favorite thing in the world.

As for your question, right now, Sebastian would be thrilled if Ciel were to show a softer and more vulnerable side - at least in relation to him. Well, a part of him would feel the automatic need to mock him for it anyway, some habits don't die easily, but Sebastian's feelings have evolved a lot, plus Ciel is cold more often than he is not. So Sebastian treasures every word of praise, every hint of appreciation and need because they are so rare - he's come to crave them, and he has memorized all known cases of them by heart.

And no worries about supporting me! I really appreciate you taking your time to leave such a fantastic review, it made my day!

[shapeshiftinterest]

Hang In There, Weegee!: bowser x luigi (CH 1)

based on THIS comic by @dibujos-de-la-orilla + some of my replies on that post

kamek thinks he hears an intruder in the royal office and goes to investigate

story under the read more

Hang In There, Weegee! (also on ao3)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

“Mwuah! Hehe.”

Kamek stopped in his tracks, the sound of muffled giggling coming from behind Bowser’s royal office door. Who in the world would have the audacity to do such a thing in the king’s personal office?

The magikoopa adjusted his glasses with a huff; not on his watch!

BANG!

“Who is trespassing on royal property!?!” Kamek shouted, wand blazing. He would be sure to restore the lord’s honor even if-

Oh, it was just Bowser.

The koopa king crossed his arms, smoke billowing from his nostrils. Even while sitting he was easily 5 times as big as the royal advisor.

“King Bowser?!” Kamek exclaimed, confused. He could have sworn he’d heard a second voice. There was no way he was that old... was there?

“You just gonna stand there or what?” Bowser snorted impatiently, tapping a claw against his arm. “I’m still busy doing all this paperwork, ya know.”

Said paperwork was scattered across the desk and floor, probably a result of the advisor’s hasty entrance. Flushing in embarrassment, Kamek quickly waved his wand and whisked the documents into organized piles.

“Many apologies, Your Industriousness; I thought I heard...” Oh dear. The older koopa felt rather silly now, taking his glasses off and cleaning them on his robe to give his hands something to do.

“Well? Out with it!”

The king scratched around his collar in irritation.

“A-ah, it was nothing, Sire. Sorry to have disturbed your paperwork, I’ll be going now.” And with a quick bow the magikoopa fled in a puff of smoke, not wanting to anger the king any further.

...

“Phew!” A loud sigh was heard from behind the large koopa’s shell, The green clad Mario brother hopping down from the other’s spikes. “I almost-a thought he caught us!”

“Uuuuggh,” Bowser groaned, sliding down his seat. He wasn’t worried about the tears in the fabric, it was self fixing, like most of the furniture in his castle.

Rubbing a paw over his eyes the king lazily turned to look at his secret human boyfriend of 3 months, offering his other paw for him to take. Luigi smiled and placed a gloved hand in his, Bowser tugging him into a side hug.

“Crud,” He sighed, giving the plumber an affectionate squeeze. “We really gotta tell someone ‘bout us soon. Sneaking around’s fun but it’d be so much easier if you could just come into the castle without immediately getting attacked, y’kno?”

“Maybe the next-a time you go to-a capture ‘Princess Peach’,” Luigi winked.

“Oh shut up,” Bowser laughed, giving the other a little shove before unclasping his collar and rubbing his neck. “I think you actually gave me a hickey, Green Bean.”

“Really?” The plumber went to touch the other’s neck, Bowser leaning a little lower so he could reach. “Does it hurt?” He asked, gently pressing against one already starting to bruise.

“Psshhh, naw. I’m the biggest, baddest brute around, and don’t you forget it!” He boasted.

Luigi hummed. “Okie dokie.”

“I’m lightning in a bottle! I’m an earthquake in a can! I-” Bowser would have kept going if it weren’t for the feeling of Luigi’s tongue laving over his bite marks. The king shuddered, eyes struggling to stay open when the other kissed his jugular.

“H-haaah.”

The plumber pulled away and grinned up at him. “Why don’t-a we make-a some more, then?”

Bowser gulped.

Oh boy.

BONUS:

'there was no way he was that old... was there?' is talking about old age and deafness

bowser was scratching around his collar because he was worried kamek would see the bite marks so he was trying to cover them more with his hand

'I'm the biggest, baddest brute around, and don't you forget it!' and 'I'm lightning in a bottle! I'm an earthquake in a can!' were taken from the list of bowser quotes from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars

[themonotonysyndrome]

Hello !! I just wanted to share some of my headcanons if you don’t mind :DD sorry if its too long :((

Sometimes I just can’t help but think about the Baroness’ feelings the moment Castin presented lingerie to them as a gift before their courting. Adding onto that, I also think about the way they feel during and early on in their marriage with Castin, and I’m talking about SUPER early. Like, “got married 2 hours ago” married.

Courting is a two way street in both nations, both parties agree to court and be courted. Although the motives for such things are different when it comes to country, social class, etc., what remains are the courting methods that they do.

As I said before, the motives are different for each country. In the Coastal Empire, it’s more common for nobles to court each other to get more leverage in life; more money, more connections, more land, you get the gist.

The same motives can’t be said about Intacia, their motives of courting aren’t exactly the same. They don’t care about the type of gift that they give, so long as the recipient accepts it. To them, it’s the thought that counts, no matter how inappropriate the gift / timing is.

How does this intertwine with the burning ache in Castin’s chest whenever he sees the Baroness smiling, laughing, or just having fun in general? Well I’m glad you asked <3

I like to think that the Baroness and Lord Reyes made an agreement when they were still in university. The agreement says that if they are both 27 years old and still unmarried, they would court each other, then get married to one another. Why 27? Because married couples who are 25 and older get some tax benefits, doesn’t matter what type of married couple they are, as long as they’re married.

Lord Reyes was already 27 at the time the Baroness broke the news of them and Castin courting, the Baroness on the other hand, was 26 and there were only 2 months before their 27th birthday.

The Baroness made their Intacian debut on their birthday month, with two of their friends in the audience as they were then embarrassed to the point of tears in front of hundreds of nobles. The Baroness looked to the king for him to reprimand the crowd and his dear, guarded brother, only to be met by Rhett minimizing their feelings, saying to “not make a scene”.

Adding insult to this newly inflicted injury was the realization that this could all be avoided if Castin knew the protocols to gifting someone a gift deemed too inappropriate for the public, especially nobles from both respective countries. If the gift was something like a sex toy, condoms, herbal contraception tea, or in this case, lingerie, he should’ve put a pink star on the packaging.

Hello, Neptune! Dude, dude - don't apologise about how long your headcanons are. I LOVE READING IT!

I love how Intacia and the Coastal Empire view courting differently; your ideas fit with the cultures perfectly! The Imperial sees courting and marriage as something to elevate themselves in love (though marrying of love does happen every now and then) while the Intacians put great value in the thoughts of who would be their future partners and the meanings behind every courting gift.

(Still though, lingerie at a first meeting? Castin, I really, REALLY, wanna know your thought process behind that one!)

Having the Baroness and Lord Reyes discuss their possible future was a good move, honestly. Even if Lord Reyes' feelings for the Baroness is nothing more than platonic, they would make good allies.

AND OH MY GOD, THE MOMENT RHETT SAID TO US NOT "TO MAKE A SCENE!?" I WOULD'VE GIVEN HIM AND CASTIN THE BIGGEST ATTITUDE EVER! IF I CAN'T RESORT TO VIOLENCE, I WOULD GO OUT OF MY WAY TO MAKE RHETT'S LIFE FUCKING HELL! I WOULD LITERALLY MAKE THE QUEEN ASCENDANT CHOOSE BETWEEN ME OR HIM; I WANT THIS MAN TO FUCKING GROVEL ALONGSIDE CASTIN!

...so yeah. I have some opinions about how Rhett behaved during our Intacian debut.

But again, cultural misunderstanding is definitely a thing and wait - did Castin ever apologise for humiliating the Baroness?? He had that whole confession about how he wasn't like the other Intacian boys, always struggle to fit in and yada, yada yada, but did did he ever shown genuine remorse about the lingerie incident!?

I... I can't remember.

[acourtofthought]

Who is guilty of considering the novella a cute little Hallmark Christmas special?

That would definitely be me 🙈

I don't think I ever really read it, I mostly skimmed for Feysand scenes during my first read through and have used it to search for Elucien / Elain / Lucien parts since then (occasionally catching moments involving the others).

But I finally did today and I was shocked with how much information it seems SJM is giving us for the future of the series.

I've always argued in favor of Elucien's book being next and the novella left me feeling like it's still a very real possibility even though there are hints of future storylines for all the characters.

The following paragraph seems like it could set up Azriel’s story and it makes sense when you consider that his biggest obstacle is overcoming his issues with the Illyrians:

Perhaps we needed a permanent presence out here, until the Illyrians remembered things like consequences. But the war had impacted us all, and with the rebuilding, with the human territories crawling out to meet us, with other Fae kingdoms looking toward a wall-less world and wondering what shit they could get away with … We didn’t have the resources to station someone out here. Not yet. Perhaps next summer, if the climate elsewhere was calm enough.

Yes, a presence here was needed. But later.

He would be the perfect character for Rhys to assign as that permanent presence (which Az will riot over, no doubt, however Rhys loves putting everyone in places they don't want to be only to have it be the best thing for them in the end). But it doesn't sound like we're ready for his book just yet.

"if the climate elsewhere was calm enough". "Yes, a presence here was needed. But later."

The Illyrian storyline didn't happen in Nessian's book because "the climate elsewhere" is still not calm enough.

Things currently affecting the climate (not the weather kind 😂):

(1) Mor felt more than saw Feyre stiffen beside her at something Eris had said. Her High Lady answered Eris, “Your father is forbidden to cross into the human lands.” No room for compromise with that tone, with the steel in Feyre’s eyes. Eris only shrugged. “I don’t think it’s your call.” Rhys slid his hands into his pockets, the portrait of casual grace. Yet the shadows and star-flecked darkness that wafted from him, that set the mountain shuddering beneath his every step—that was the true face of the High Lord of the Night Court. The most powerful High Lord in history. “I would suggest reminding Beron that territory expansion is not on the table. For any court.” Eris wasn’t fazed. Nothing had ever disturbed him, ruffled him. Mor had hated it from the moment she’d met him—that distance, that coldness. That lack of interest or feeling for the world. “Then I would suggest to you, High Lord, that you speak to your dear friend Tamlin about it.”. “Why.” Feyre’s question was sharp as a blade. Eris’s mouth curved in an adder’s smile. “Because Tamlin’s territory is the only one that borders the human lands. I’d think that anyone looking to expand would have to go through the Spring Court first. Or at least obtain his permission.”

Rhys’s cold face turned contemplative, though. She could easily read the reluctance in his eyes, the annoyance at having Eris tip him off, but information was information.

As if he’d known that sleep had been futile for me last night after Eris’s not-so-subtle warning about Tamlin and his borders.

(2) “I am not going to disband the Illyrians. There is nowhere for them to go, anyway. And if we try to drag them out of those mountains, they might launch the very assault we’re trying to defuse.” Az said nothing. “But perhaps more pressing,” I went on, jabbing a finger on the sprawling continent, “is the fact that the human queens have not returned to their own territories. Beyond that, Hybern’s general populace is not too thrilled to have lost this war. And with the wall gone, who knows what other Fae territories might make a grab for human lands?” My jaw tightened at that last one. “This peace is tenuous.”

(Rhys and Az are talking about the issues with the Illyrians but he notes that even more pressing than their issues with the Illyrians is their issues with the Queens on the continent and other territories).

(3) If we sweep in, even to stop them from triggering another war, we’ll be seen as conquerors, not heroes. We need the humans in other territories to trust us, if we can ever hope to achieve lasting peace.”

“Then perhaps Jurian and Vassa should deal with them. While Vassa is free to do so.”

(1.1) Azriel arched a brow. “You mean to visit the Spring Court?” I wished I could say otherwise. But I instead told him what Eris had implied: that Tamlin either might not care to enforce his borders with the human realm or might be open to letting anyone through them. I doubted I’d get a decent night’s rest until I found out for myself.

Rhys to Tamlin: “And,” I went on, “she was as disturbed as I was to learn that your borders are not as enforced as we’d hoped.”

SJM is again drawing attention to the fact that Rhys is extremely worried over the thought of Tamlin not enforcing his borders, to the point that he's lost sleep over it. And as we find out later in the novella and Silver Flames, Tamlin has still not been enforcing his borders (also, his military forces aren't where they need them to be) and he's not any closer to getting to the point where he will. In SF, the action they take in response to all of that is to station Lucien there to be their eyes and ears and contain any damage because it's such a pressing concern.

So that makes three major issues affecting their climate outside of the NC. The problem with the human queens (only Briallyn was dealt with in SF so the others remain) and territories on the continent, their need for the humans to trust them, and the fact that Springs borders are not being enforced which is a concern because of Berons (and the other territories) desire to expand.

Every single one of those concerns is strongly connected to Elain and Lucien. Spring / Beron because of Lucien's connection to them both and the hints of Elain in Spring. Building trust with the humans which is very Lucien-centric at the moment as he's living with Jurian and Vassa and has helped them rebuild and sort out their politics. The queens across the sea, who Vassa (housemates with Lucien) has a vendetta against because they sold her out to Koschei. Not that the BOE would defeat them all however I imagine there will be conflict. The concern that other Fae territories will try to push into the human lands (Lucien connection again). And Elain is connected to those things through her visions, her past with Graysen and the humans, and Nesta (in SF) reminding us that Elain had always wanted to travel to the continent.

I found another possible Az storyline. I think he'll be the one to hunt down Bryaxis:

“No word on Bryaxis, I take it.”

Az studied the floor as well. “Not a whisper. Or a scream, for that matter.”

I’d planned to hunt Bryaxis down for months now—to take Feyre and let her track down the entity that, for lack of a better explanation, seemed to be fear itself. But, as with so many of my plans for my mate, running this court and figuring out the world beyond it had gotten in the way.

“Do you want me to hunt it down?” An easy, unruffled question. I waved a hand, my mating band catching in the morning light. That I hadn’t heard from Feyre yet told me enough: still asleep. And as tempting as it was to wake her just to hear the sound of her voice, I had little desire to have my balls nailed to the wall for disrupting her sleep. “Let Bryaxis enjoy the Solstice as well,” I said.

I think Az facing off with a creature who is "fear itself" would he amazing considering we'd get a glimpse into the darkest, scariest corners of Az's mind. But again, it doesn't seem to be a pressing concern at the moment.

There's a lot going on in these spin-off books and even more has been thrown in to the mix since SF and the crossover but when SJM made a few mentions of the most pressing issues that were at the forefront of Rhys’s mind, I can't stop myself from thinking Elucien being next is a strong contender.

[madwomansapologist]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people however many you want who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals & followers!! <3

*omg, omg, omg. she's here, don't act weird. stop starring at talent people, they might get embarrassed* thank you for that @sotwk 🪩

1. The Tigger Movie

i'm sick and tired and couldn't do a damn thing, but that movie always makes me feel better. it's so kind, and friendly, and it tastes like sweet tea and freshed baked cakes.

2. The Hobbit

I've already watched the movies, but never had the courage to finally read them. I was scared that the translation of a almost centurie old book would be just impossible to read. But then my brain started to work. If I watched the movies and not only understood but also enjoyed, then it couldn't be that difficult. And also, it was written for children. Its intention wasn't to be impossible to be undertood, quite the contrary.

I just started it, and I am pretty sure my family thinks I am crazy because that book make me laugh so much. It's just 🐉perfect🐉

3. Jão

That man is $#@@&)¥~®£¶. Dear lord. Jão is a brazilian artist. He's a singer, performancer and songwriter. I will go to the opening night of his tour, and I am already planning my clothes.

But the part that make me really happy is that I will bring my brother with me. He's like the biggest fan of Jão that ever existed. And he's such a nerd. He's the type of kid that talks oh that song that he covered was actually written about this and that and that choice of words was done to pass through the censorship during the millitary ditactorship. He almost cried when I showed him the tickets.

4. Pride and Prejudice

I'm re-reading it and.... it never go out of style. I think I've watched the movie at least 8 times. Jane Austen deserves the world.

5. Undertale

I finish it with my brother I guess two weeks ago. It didn't stopped haunting me since then.

[yourassimcomingforit]

Gonna go sob my thoughts of season 2 into this enjoy spoilers under the cut

So the ending of season 2 it was something

Beeelzebub(beez) and Gabriel are queer as hell and fucked off together

The girl kissers like each other but aren’t dating yet cause they need time

Aziraphale(az) and Crowley kissed but aren’t together

Az is leader of heaven and tried to make Crowley an angel

Crowley was likely a high ranking angel

We’re gonna start off talking about number 5 cause that’s the easiest one and I really wanna talk about my hc that Crowley was Raphael the archangel. So first the little things in heaven everything is a pure white the walls the floors the pillars their outfits the only people not in pure white are the archangels in a light gray and the metatron in a dark gray/black. Now Crowley when changing his outfit to fit in goes with a metallic off white which while may be just cause he’s a demon the fact that he was trusted with a task like creating stars and nebulas which we see were created along side Saraqael who I cannot remember whether they were specifically mentioned to be an archangel but I believe they are. And the biggest thing is that Crowley could access confidential files that only higher up angels can even open and he did it with ease.

Onto another point number 1. God I loved Beez and Gabriel together I’ve done been shipping them and the way they fell in love and we got to see snippets of it was amazing. And the hints throughout it with the fact that it was a fly that came out of the box and who else but the lord of the flies would have something to do with flies. Gabriel being mentioned to come in regularly with someone but we didn’t know who and it turns out to be Beez and the way they have a song that’s special to the both of them. The song is a simple little love song and Gabriel doesnt even know what a song or music is but he loves it simply because Beez does and miracles the Jukebox to only play that song and the way he remembers it even with his memories gone. The entire thing is sickeningly sweet with them confessing their love to everyone by holding hands they’re just so precious.

Point number 2 while it hurts me so much that out girls didn’t end up together I love that way it was done Nina had a toxic ex we see throughout the season and getting into a relationship right out of that just wouldn’t be healthy for either of them seeing Maggie pine for Nina but not doing anything cause she respects her to much to do that when she’s already in a relationship. The season ending with them acknowledging each others feelings but leaving it at that cause Nina isn’t ready is just so bittersweet.

Numero tres out dear ineffable husbands finally had their kiss!! But it wasn’t at the right time it’s just so bitter sweet it’s right after az said that he’s going to lead heaven and wants to make Crowley an angel which goes against everything about having their own side no heaven no hell. Crowley gives az a final kiss and just says I like you but I can’t be with you the way you want I won’t be an angel and lead heaven alongside you that goes against everything I want and believe in and az just can’t believe that Crowley doesn’t want to be an angel again which just shows a fundamental misunderstanding he had about Crowley. It leads to Crowley just confessing his feelings kissing az and just watching him leave him to go up to heaven.

Now the final point number 4. Az accepting the deal and wanting to make Crowley an angel again. Az clearly loves Crowley and he knows it so he wants to have Crowley by his side when he does this but he just isn’t ready to take the leap like Crowley is and to make a side purely their own no heaven or hell. We can see since the beginning how’ve they’ve already drifted apart since season 1 with Crowley no longer feelings it’s their side but his and az thinking that they have their own side but it’s clearly still aligned with heaven as we see later in the season dying our little grave robbing sesh. While it is before Armageddon’t this is az thinking back on it and we can see how he still thinks he did the right thing trying to fix our little grave robber so she stops being so “monsterous” so while az definitely had some big brain thoughts about what’s right and wrong from that experience he still thinks he did the right thing. Going back to the original point az when offered the opportunity to help change heaven to something better he jumps at the opportunity to go back to heavens side and even take Crowley along as an angel even!! Which isn’t what Crowley wants he’s happy as a demon on his own side he doesnt want to be doing work for hell or for heaven and az just can’t understand that who wouldn’t want to go back to being an angel, so he leaves Crowley and his bookshop behind going up to heaven with the metatron leaving the place he loves the store he built and loved and man he adores and wants to spend the rest of his life with. Much like Nina and Maggie they don’t get together but there’s not as much hope of them ending up together as with those 2, az and Crowley are going their separate ways apart from each other.

Wahoo if you somehow finished this entire jumbled mess have a gold star ⭐️

[mosstafavie]

the man you love preens at my praise

he has the forbidden fruit under his gaze

how much longer before he steps inside my maze?

his undeveloped brain stuck in a haze

tell me why doesn't your anger raise?

when your image gives chase

to all temptations, setting them ablaze

why don't you answer my call?

as I was the one who took the fall

as I gave you my all

both devotion and fear

how is it Adam who you hold dear?

can't you see how his sickness is severe?

and how his flawed tainted voice is not sincere?

if his disgusting shortcomings were flickering lights

I could build Heaven's biggest chandelier

look how cruel and basic are his fights

his presence fouls even the atmosphere

even eve wants to take flight

as the sight of him reappears

there is no need for eyes with much might

to see how his virtue disappears

I saw you as benevolent lord of lights

yet your esteemed creation's fault is clear

as he ravages with delight

and I watch with disdain how he turns the gear

what else should I do ? so you answer

to what other whim should I bend like a dancer

what other way I can serve?

so you tell me of your grand plan

the way you used to before all this began

tell me before I become a madman

your silence tears me apart

there isn't much time left before my rebellions start

if I lose your blessing as I depart

I will make it a work of art

for it is only your presence that I desire

words nomatter laced with what will set me on fire

as I tie you to the name of my empire

I wasn't like others your subject

I cherish you , it's your attention I try to collect

if my whole existence is incorrect

I shall burn for eternity just so I can reconnect

with you as my old lover , wheather you protect

me or drown me in neglect

and regard me as a failed project

I shall waite every morning and pray

I know you never abandoned me away

give me a sign that one day

I will once again be your lamb,not a stray

I am your morning star's ray

I never left your way

then break the silence and say

that one promised blessed day

you finally see me as I am and may

even get rid of that statue of clay

I don't care if it's millenas later

or if it will happen today

tell me we shall become one again, like the morning of yesterday

[winterkittenreads]

Review: A Kingdom of Bitter Magic by Alaya Wells

Audience: 18+

Stars: 4.35/5

Fav quote:

"Ivenrail Levestan." His name was poison on my tongue. "I'm going to start with his fingers, slicing them off with a delicate touch. I'll grin at his screams, then turn my attention to his toes. He'll feel it when I cut off his legs at the knees and his arms at the elbows."

                  "I'll hold him down for you.”

"And then I'm going to filet the skin off his back and chest."

                  "I'll enjoy watching that.”

"And only when there isn't any part of him left to rip apart, I'll slice off his head."

                  "I'll mount it on the highest castle spire.”

"Thank you." I snuggled deeper into his arms. 

...

dear radish,

CHECK OUT MY MURDER BABIES. Hahaha. But actually they spent more of the book building up to getting steamy, being teases, and then getting steamy. But that's all good. Steam is nice too. 

Can't lie, I picked up Kingdom of Bitter Magic because of the phrase "stalker-like tendencies" from the male lead in the synopsis. And you know what? It delivered heh heh.  

My biggest gripe is that the pacing slowed in the middle-end part, but in no way will that stop me from picking up the next book in the series! Looking forward to it!

(Also, two review in one day! I'm on a 🍣 roll :))

Synopsis:

A dragon rider seeking revenge for the death of her brother. A ruthless fae lord with his own agenda. A love that will drop the fae kingdom to its knees.

I’m nothing but an orphan, a dragon trainer in one of the many border fortresses. When beasts attack the villages, I ride, driving them back to the hellscape they crawled from.

When my adopted brother’s killed during battle, I discover who’s controlling the invading beasts—the brutal ruler of the neighboring fae kingdom. A gruesome plot is brewing beneath the glimmering fae surface, and he’s responsible for it all. Now vengeance is all I live for. No matter how powerful or well-guarded the king is, I will avenge my brother. This I swear.

To infiltrate the king’s court, I’m forced to make a deal with Vexxion, a devastatingly beautiful and equally malicious fae lord. In exchange for getting me close to the king, I’ll allow Vexxion to collar me at the upcoming Claiming. He’ll train me, and I’ll give him access to my supposedly dormant magic. Little does he know I have no power for him to harness.

Surrendering to Vexxion’s seductive allure could fracture what little remains of my heart. Falling for him could destroy my wounded soul. But learning his wicked secrets could shatter me completely. A Kingdom of Bitter Magic is Book 1 in the Kingdom of Blighted Thorns trilogy. Expect spice, suspense, a ruthless, determined woman, and a fae lord with stalker-like tendencies who will stop at nothing to claim her as his own.

[ihatepeanutss]

dear lord…i need this, make me the biggest star the world has ever know and the gf of a man who looks like eddie or steve and make him use a ghostface masc 😩

halloween party and while eddie goes as ghostface, you go as something ethereal— a fairy, an angel, a princess… and he cannot keep his hands to himself. he needs to touch and grab and kiss and bite and caress, screw whoever is around. you seem to bask in it anyways. you’re cute and sweet and delicate and nice to everyone, it’s like there’s glitter all around you in his eyes, like a light just shines from within you, and he’s the one that’s got you? dressed in all black as opposed to your soft colors and sparkles, but somehow you fit together so well he can’t dwell on in for too long. you’re his girl. his girl who presses her glossy lips to his every once in a while; his girl who keeps his hand or at least his pinky in hers at all times; his girl that makes sure he’s always included in every conversation; his girl that shares his likes and nerdy ways; his girl who wraps her arms around his waist over and over throughout the night; his girl who does not give a damn if others judge her for being with him; his girl that seems so fucking proud to introduce him as her boyfriend, hers!; his girl who presses a kiss to his mask and he leaves the imprint there the whole night; his girl who drags him outside the house party to share a joint because she wants him to herself; his girl that calls him “pretty”; his girl that manages to say “i love you” at least ten times before she’s even high for him to use that as an excuse for her affections. his. and maybe he’ll be lucky enough to keep her forever.

[sunnyhoneyshimmermagic]

I can say without a doubt that while the strip clearly starts running out of steam around 2015, and to me, March-April 2016 was when it began being bad, there were still enough decent arcs and strips from 2016 to 2020 where I wouldn't call it TOTALLY terrible, more like an on and off period.

2021 to today is where it loses all control. I genuinely struggle to even remember the arcs I liked during this time. It's all so repeated, and what's "new" is almost always something refreshingly bad.

Examples:

That may 1st 2022 sunday where a girl actually likes Nate for once so Kim threatens to tear her arms off and NO ONE CARES.

Nate and Kim checking a haunted house, a 2-3 week arc where the big joke besides ha ha kim is a bitch is it was Chad playing the oboe.

Countless and I mean countless arcs of Nate having an idea but instead of us actually getting to see it fail it's his friends all making the same jokes you've seen 1000000 times, and none of which feel like they are being said by anyone else, all his friends turned into damn Francis.

Too many school arcs, Peirce has got to branch out from there. Even Gina arcs are less fun because you know now that no matter what, Godfrey and Gina will win.

Nate in general has really lost his old winning chances. I think he won some sport arc at one point, that's about it.

The knitting arc, 3 whole weeks for the most predictable result imaginable with nary a twist.

Nate sharing a locker with molly only the locker has none of the fun random stuff of the past and Molly is just Francis.

All the characters do is argue now.

Nate trying to stop eating Cheeze doodles, that totally didn't happen in a similar arc (it wasn't a bad arc but you get my point).

Hey, Chad, instead of being the fun and bright spot you are, how about just making food jokes?

EVERY. SINGLE. GIRL. BEING. SUCH. A. BITCH. Two girls just walk up to Nate randomly and start laughing at him. HE WASN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING.

The arc where Nate and Francis break up, talked about it before, you know the drill.

Dee Dee is just... An egomanaical bitch. None of her once sweet nature, nor her realness with Nate are there. Now she's just girl Francis most of the time, and when it's time for some drama, she's become a real jerk. Oh, but wait, only Nate can get called out on that, carry on.

Oh, a golf/dog for christmas/Artur/Ailurophobia/school picture/sports/kim arc, gee, I wonder if there will be any variety at all, outside of Gram joining in on the golf once.

To me, the biggest change from the old days is the lack of adventure and story telling. Outside of the pretty decent school budget arc (and I guess the Nigel arc but I think that could have been less mean and more interesting), we just don't do story anymore. There are no totally different arcs you've never seen before (and if their are they're Nate in love with a tiktok star), no adventures, no quests, no big moments, barely any cliffhangers. Now it's just "here's a joke you've seen 100000 times with barely any twist, I bet it's funnier this time!".

And no, I don't care for the excuse "but it's hard to think up jokes after all this time." No it's not. I'm an inexperienced fanfic writer who hasn't even begun film school and has zero credits to his name, and I can come up with tons of original arcs!

In short... Dear lord are these last few years terrible. I literally went through 2023 at one point to get something for the AMV and I was like "wait this happened? wait, this was an arc?"

[promenadewithme]

May I please have prompt 62 with Simon Basset x female!reader?

Of course! Thank you for requesting!

Pairing: Simon Basset x Fem!Reader

Prompt: 62 (”She doesn’t belong with him” “Than who does she belong with?” “...with me.”)

Warnings: very slight angst with a happy ending. I'm sorry, but I just had to include him saying "I burn for you".

Word count: 1.7 k

Tell me if you want to join my tag list!

Oblivious

__________________________________________

Dearest Readers,

it has come to this author’s attention that Lady (y/n) (y/l/n) and Lord Benedict Bridgerton were seen promenading earlier this week. We all know Miss (y/l/n) to be a close friend to the Bridgertons, but will she officially become part of the family? Rest assured, if there is an engagement this author will find out.

Your’s Truly,

Lady Whistledown.

__________________________________________

YOUR P.O.V.

“This is absurd!” you exclaimed. “We were seen walking and now we’re to be married?”

“Calm down, (y/n). You know Whistledown is just a gossip, no one will remember this in a week.” said Benedict, putting down his sketchbook to look at you. 

As soon as you woke, your lady’s maid showed the infamous society papers and you all but ran to the Bridgerton estate. Benedict was, as always, in the drawing room sketching away. He had already read the paper, but thought nothing of it. He was calm, so calm it irritated you.

“Ben, you don’t understand! If people think I’m engaged to you, they will stop courting me and, unless you plan on marrying me, that is a disaster! I have to marry this season!” at this point Benedict stood up and caressed your arm in an attempt of calming you down. To anyone else, this scene would be scandalous and incredibly improper, but you and Ben have known eachother since infancy and were the best of friends, so there was nothing romantic about the gesture.

“(y/n), my dear, what is this rush? We are still young, you can see so many more seasons before being considered a spinster. You are beautiful, smart, accomplished and any man in the ton would be more that lucky to have you as his wife. If they don’t see it, it’s their loss. As for the rumors chasing them away, I believe it will do quite the opposite.” he said with a smirk.

“Whatever do you mean? If they believe I am to be married, how would it attract them?” you asked, incredulous.

“Well, not to brag, but I am a Bridgerton. If they think you caught my eye, they’d be curious to know what’s so special about you. So, don’t fret. All will be well.” With one last reassuring squeeze, he turned around and sat back down. “Now, are you going to Lady Danbury’s ball this evening?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at his sketch, not quite contempt with the shading.

“Of course I am, it’s the biggest ball of the season!” you exclaimed, sitting down on the sofa in front of him.

“Thank the heavens! If my mother tries to push eligible ladies my way, I’ll run in your direction.” he said, still sketching. Benedict stopped for a second and looked up at you “I heard a certain Duke will be there.” he stated with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and said “We all know he is bewitched by Daphne, it does not matter if he will be there.” 

“Of course it matters, you are in love with the man! And, to be completely honest, I don’t believe it is my sister who his heart belongs to. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, it’s the same way Colin looks at maps or Eloise looks at books.” He was leaning forward now, elbows on his knees, hands loosely clasped.

“Like I’m an object?” you said, kidding of course and dying to change the subject. You had the tendency to get your hopes up and the last thing you wanted was to believe your friend and end up with a broken heart.

“Like you hung the moon and the stars.” he had a serious expression and your heart skipped a beat with the thought that Simon would ever look at you that way, but you knew it would never happen. So you waved your hand, smiled and said “I think all the charcoal and paint is going straight to your brain, Mr. Bridgerton. I expect to see your hands all clean if you are to dance with me to trick your poor mama.” Standing up, you curtsied mockingly and said your goodbyes before walking out the door. 

SIMON'S P.O.V.

Simon woke with news from Lady Whistledown. He was never one to believe in gossip, but Daphne was always talking about the society papers during their fake courting, so his curiosity got the best of him. What he did not expect was to read (y/n)'s name.

He had sworn to himself that he would never marry, but arriving at the beginning of the season he couldn't help but be smitten by you. He tried to fight it, but every time you smiled he saw himself smiling along, every time you wore his favourite colour he forgot how to breathe, and every time he saw you with Benedict Bridgerton he couldn't control his jealousy.

He confided in Daphne about it and she guaranteed (y/n) and the second Bridgerton son were just close friends, but Lady Whistledown seems to think differently. To be married? Was this true? If so, he knew it was for the best. He would be able to keep his promise to himself, but he could not help the ache in his heart as he dressed for the day.

(Y/N)'S P.O.V.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, pleased with the outcome. Your lady's maid had weaved delicate flowers in your hair, that was pulled up loosely and you wore your newest dress, long white gloves and the family diamonds. Madame Delacroix really outdid herself this time. It was your favourite colour, with princess sleeves, only slightly puffed, and had embroidered tulle at the hem and bottom part of the skirt. You looked truly beautiful.

"(y/n), it's time to-" your mother paused at the door and looked at you. She smiled softly at your reflection. "You look so beautiful, my dear... Do you think a certain Lord might like it too?" she said smiling softly.

"It is not the Lord's attention I want, mama. You know Ben is just a friend" you said, playing with the skirt of your dress.

"I know, sweetheart, I just don't want you do get hurt. All I want is for you to be happy and what better than to marry your best friend?" she hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek, still looking at your reflection.

"To marry the one you love..."

SIMON'S P.O.V.

"You really have outdone yourself, Lady Danbury." Simon said, looking down at the woman who practically raised him. She was wearing a white gown, a tiara and long white gloves, radiant as always, leaning on her cane.

"I always do, my boy. Now, look at that! Your beloved has arrived." she declared with a small smirk.

"I have already spoken to Daphne" he said, nodding in the Bridgerton family direction, however his heart was beating out of his chest as he turned to look at (y/n). It seemed impossible, but she was even more beautiful than the last time he saw her. Simon looked away before he was caught staring.

"We both know I'm not speaking of the Bridgerton girl. You are not as discreet in your brooding as you like to think." he looked at you again, but you were already speaking to Benedict, who was leading you to the dance floor. "What is bothering you, boy?"

Simon stared at the pair dancing for a moment before responding. "She does not belong with him."

"Than who does she belong with?" (y/n) was laughing at something Benedict said and Simon could not bare the view anymore.

"...With me." he mumbled before heading to the gardens.

(Y/N)'S P.O.V.

The song finished and you curtsied, smiling at your best friend. The smile slowly turned into a frown as you saw Simon walking out, into the gardens.

"Go after him." Benedict whispered.

"What? We would be unchaperoned, it would be scandalous!" you answered, only loud enough for him to hear.

"I'll stand at the door and make sure no one sees. Go!" you smiled and wished you could hug you best friend. "Thank you, Ben." you said as you went into the garden after the man you love. The weather was pleasant and the garden was completely empty, with only the Duke passing back and forth close to the bushes.

"Simon?" he stopped in his tracks, looking surprised as he gazed back at you and stepped closer.

"What are you doing here, if we were to be caught unchaperoned yo-" you stopped the nervous man by saying "Benedict is at the door, no one will see."

"Of course he is." he mumbled, but you heard.

"What does that mean?" you asked, not understanding his sudden dislike for the lord.

"It means he is always around, always with you." he spat out.

"Well, he is my best friend." you could not believe what he was saying. "What do you have against him?" you questioned.

"Are you truly to be married?" he demanded, ignoring your question.

"What?" you replied, completely incredulous.

"Please don't." he murmured.

"Simon, I-" you tried to answer but he cut you off.

"Before you say anything, please listen to me. Don't marry him, please." he paused for a second, adjusting his posture. "I love you. You..." he shook his head. "You don't even know what you do to me. Ever since I can remember, I have promised myself I would never fall victim to love, would never marry, would not let my family name carry on. Then came you."

Simon took a step closer and continued to speak. "You changed my plans, awoke desires I never knew I had, you have stolen my heart and my soul... I burn for you." he took your gloved hands in his, caressing them softly. "Don't marry him, marry me." he gazed into your eyes, waiting your answer.

"Simon... It was never my plan to marry Benedict, I was completely honest when I said he is nothing but a friend." you smiled up at him before saying "you are the one I love, always have been."

Simon grinned before pulling you into a passionate kiss, one hand on your back and the other behind your neck. It was a good thing Benedict was at the door, if anyone saw this scene and the rumours reached Lady Whistledown... You didn't even want to think about the ruin it would bring upon your family.

When you and Simon finally parted you managed to mumble "We truly have been oblivious, haven't we? I thought you were in love with Daphne." he chuckled.

"And I thought you to be with Benedict. Good thing you followed me out here, my love." he said, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

"From now on, it's all I'll ever do."

[dystopicjumpsuit]

YES! The comfort half of the hurt/comfort equation has to really, really balance out the hurt for me. I think that might actually be one of the biggest reasons I write Star Wars fanfic: the characters get hurt so much in canon, and they hardly ever show them getting any comfort.

good ol' emotional dysregulation, so media can really disproportionately effect me if I'm too invested in it

Right there with you. When I want to destroy my entire week, I'll watch "Victory and Death" and cry. Or season 4 of Rebels, dear lord. Ugh, just thinking about it is making my stomach hurt.

Hello hello! For the fanfic ask, O and X, please? I love this game; learning about other writers' processes is so fascinating to me.

RIGHT!? I love seeing how everyone approaches writing differently and each way has its strengths and will work differently for each person. I also really appreciate how these questions are making me analyze and review my own writing on a technical level.

It's the fun part of being in a writing community!

Ok, so ...

O: How do you begin a story—with the plot, or the characters?

So it's definitely the characters, but like usually a specific scenario or moment I want them to experience/work through.

Generally, I'll see or hear something as I'm going about my day and think "what would [character] do/ how would [character react]" or something IRL will just strike me as so [insert character] and I'll need to explore that idea with them. I'll then built the plot out from there to where I feel they'd go and where I'd want them to go (not always the same lol).

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

I don't like making anyone suffer lol. I know that's not terribly fanfic writer of me, but I do use fanfic primarily as an escape and as a way to self-soothe and process emotions. I'm all for writing angst and hurt/comfort, but the comfort has to be there lol otherwise I'm left feeling a bit down. (I got that good ol' emotional dysregulation, so media can really disproportionately effect me if I'm too invested in it.)

But within those confines of hurt/comfort, I LOVE altruistic characters like Rex or Echo or Padme make decisions for others' best interest but then get some sense knocked into them to not violate their partner's agency and they end up comforting one another.

Self sacrifice can be a good thing ... but it often isn't and I love seeing it portrayed as a vice to be overcome.

[takeaslicex]

The Obey Me! Undateables + Making A Sex Tape Headcanons

Pairing: The Obey Me Undateables (MINUS LUKE)  x Female! Main Character

Content Warning: NSFW (minors do NOT interact), sex tapes/filming yourselves having sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), vaginal sex, dirty talk, semi-public sex, third person, etc.

Word count: 1.1k+

Authors Note: Thank you for the request, anon! I didn’t quite pull out all the stops for the undateables as I did with the demon brothers, because I am 10000000% biased towards the brothers - but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!

Also, since this has gained quite some traction on both here and AO3, would anybody be interested in one shots of each individual making a sex tape with MC? Let me know if it’s something y’all would be interested in!

The Obey Me! Demon Brother’s + Making A Sex Tape Headcanons

Lord Diavolo:

Okay, let’s be real. For being the future King of the Devildom and ruler of all the demons, Lord Diavolo is a pretty cheerful demon who will do whatever the hell he wants just because it looks fun. Also, who exactly is going to scold him if anyone were to find out that he had made a sex tape with his star human exchange student? He wouldn’t care one way or another.

He would respond so cheerfully to you asking him too, as he usually does to anything that sounds pleasing to him.

“You want to make a sex tape, darling? Of course! Anything to please you, my dear. Come with me - we’re doing this right now, princess.”

So, where do you want to do it? Did you want to get railed in his larger-than-life office against the biggest desk in all of the Devildom with your phone propped up against a pile of paperwork? Did you want to get fucked against every golden wall in the Demon Lord’s Castle by a video camera? How about a video camera directed on the Lord’s king-sized bed while you ride his cock?

He would show absolutely no mercy on you, either - and the sex tape would be proof of that. Just because the Lord of the Devildom just so happens to be a happy and cheerful demon doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know what he’s doing in the bedroom, and while you’re cumming all over his face and dick, he’s got all your screaming and crying on video to hear whenever the hell he wants.

“Euh! That’s it, princess, cum all over my cock - just like that. I’m gonna breed you so full of my cum for the camera - just like you asked.”

Also… don’t you dare think about Lord Diavolo asking Barbatos to film it for all those filthy close-up shots of you swallowing his cum or taking his cock like the good girl you are. Lord Diavolo would at least ask Barbatos, at the very least.

  Barbatos: 

I mean… any wish is your command, right? I can’t see him actively wanting to make a sex tape with you, but he also wouldn’t see the harm in it either. Like, yeah… something new the two of you can do in the bedroom. Sounds good to him!

“Oh? Do you want to film this, my love? Very well, anything for you then - hand me your phone and I’ll take care of the rest, my dear.”

Any sex tape with Barbatos would be so soft and loving - like perfect, aesthetic porn. Despite being an all-powerful demon, I genuinely don’t think that he has a rough bone in his body when it comes to his lover. That’s not to say he doesn’t know how to make you cum all nice and pretty for the camera, however.

He would make it such a nice experience for you, too. Like candles all over the room, and soft music playing, while needy hands run up and down your sides while you sit pretty on his lap and ride him like it’s the whole reason you’re in the Devildom.

“Yes, sweetheart - so good for me. So pretty for the camera. Now lay down and let me be at your service, my dear.”

A sex tape with him would be so sweet - 10/10 recommend asking him to make one with you.

  Simeon:

Simeon would most likely be the most against making a sex tape out of all of the brothers and undateables. Simeon has strict morals and is a literal angel of the Lord, so I feel like filming the two of you having sex just wouldn’t be a thing for him. However, since it wouldn’t be very fun to write about how much Simeon wouldn’t make a sex tape with you - let’s say he’s totally down to make one with you.

So, let’s paint a setting here - Simeon finally got to see you again after you both departed back to the human world and the Celestial Realm respectively. His time with you is so limited, and you both can’t wait to be in each other’s arms again - so why not film it so the two of you can look back on it again when you’re missing each other? You recommended a sex tape to mark your little reunion.

Just like Barbatos, I think that any sex tape with Simeon would be sweet and loving. I can’t imagine that an angel of the Lord would ravage you as Lord Diavolo would - but Simeon knows exactly how to make you cum like the good little angel you are.

“Yes, my Y/N - show me how much you missed me. Cum with me - let’s do this together, my love!”

Simeon would also be someone to go out of his way to make this a memorable experience with you - you two would film your sex tape after a nice date with wine, a nice hotel with the prettiest view, and he’d be bringing you to orgasm so hard that you wouldn’t even need a sex tape to remember the night.

  Solomon:

Oh, he would be SO down to make a sex tape with you - I mean, what better way is there to prove that out of all the demons and angels and humans in all three realms pining over you, that you chose him?

Solomon is overall a pretty confident and powerful human - he’s going to make you irrevocably his all over video. You can’t convince me that Solomon isn’t a little bit of a freak, and I feel like he would be no different in bed.

Picture this - it’s the end of the day at RAD, and the two of you are about to leave the classroom, the two of you being the last ones to leave. As you’re trying to leave, you can’t get the door open, and it doesn’t take you very long to figure out that Solomon used magic to keep anyone from entering or leaving - long enough to fuck you on a school desk with his phone propped up on the teacher’s desk.

With your arms wrapped around his waist as he fucks you hard into the desk, kissing you to stifle your loud moans - you hardly have time to consider the repercussions if Lucifer found out. 

“Shh, be quiet for me, Y/N. You wouldn’t want to get caught and have me stop, would you? Ugh, that’s it - take my cock, baby!”

Solomon would make multiple sex tapes with you, too. It would become a thing between the two of you - each one being filthier than the last. 

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Celestial harmonies national park sounds radical

It's a very fun au haha.

Alrighty, here's a little something from before Crowley and Aziraphale get together, but Crowley is getting closer to finding out that there really is some sort of magical being living in the park.

Warning: drinking

On with the fic!

--

"Do you think..."

"Do I think what?"

"Do you think..." Crowley was staring moodily into his glass, as if it held the answers to his biggest problems and he didn't like that. Aziraphale wondered if Crowley was ever going to finish his question, because this is the fifth time he's tried starting a question then trailed off.

Crowley then coughed hard, sniffed, and sat up straight. "411."

Aziraphale slowly blinked. "What?"

"The... the thing! The missin' thin'!" The angel noted that Crowley's strong, southern belle accent was slipping when he was drunk, it sounded almost Scottish. He wondered if Crowley was actually Scottish and covered his accent with an exaggerated American one.

Drunken thoughts are ridiculous, he also noted.

Crowley flailed about his arms before flopping back in the chair, staring up at the clear, lovely sky above them. They were at Aziraphale's cabin, in front of the firepit, enjoying some very good wine. Actually, several very good bottles of wine, to be exact.

Then the human made a weird series of noises that might have once been words at the very start of him opening his mouth. "The Missin' 411! It's, it's a book seriessss!"

Oh, he hissed his S's when he was drunk, adorable!

"Oh? 've never heard of it before." Aziraphale commented, trying to refill his glass of wine and ended up sloshing a bit of it on his shoes. He snapped his fingers and it was gone, clean and in his glass now. Crowley hadn't seen that at all, too busy looking at the sky still.

"Yeah, 's a series of, like, mysterious disappearances and reappearances and deattthhhsss... in state and national parks and stuff."

"How ghastly!"

"Nonononononono. No. 'S good buncha books! Got some of 'em back home! I should, uh, should let you borrow 'em. But I gotta wonder... if there's some cases from this place there."

Aziraphale frowned, he really didn't like to think about those sorts of things, they made him feel really bad. "Best not to think about it, dear boy."

"Love it when you call me that..." Crowley mumbled, but Aziraphale's angelic ears heard it, and he blushed deeply. Good Lord, this human didn't know what he was doing to him.

Crowley groaned and slumped in his seat, practically a liquid. Or a cat. A snake? Did Crowley have bones?

Course he had bones, Aziraphale had to fix them after that terrible crash when they first met.

The human muttered something before looking up at the sky again. "Sooooo pretty... I bet... I bet angels made those."

"Ah?" Aziraphale glanced up. "Made what, dear boy?" He heard a very, very excited giggle in response.

"Shuddup. Angels! Angels made the stars! That's... that's what I thought as a wee li'l brat! Dad told me I was dumb fer thinkin' that, but I thought only, uh, only angels could make such beautiful things..."

He looked at Aziraphale with glassy, golden eyes, a soft, sweet smile on his pretty lips. "You're probably a star, only... only an angel could make someone so beautiful like you..." He trailed off and suddenly he was snoring.

Aziraphale blinked, a bit stunned by what Crowley said. "Oh, bugger..." He sobered himself up and decided it might be best to not do this much drinking with Crowley, especially if he was going to say such things.

--

The Missing 411 is a real series of books, but you can find stories online and on youtube about these cases. They terrify me, which is why I don't like camping and why I try to keep to marked trails and never wander off.

But even then, probably have done that too and still fall off the face of the Earth...

Still, here's Crowley drunkenly admitting he finds Aziraphale attractive!