#dc battinson
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mylifeisfruk4ever · 1 year ago
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@bruciemilf Batcat with baby Dick
“You're getting sloppy,” Selina greeted Bruce from the couch.
She liked to surprise the bat and sneak into his house. But it got too easy when the owner of the house left a back window open for her.
"Selina? What are you doing here?" the billionaire asked, having the audacity to look surprised. Here, a woman disappeared for a few months, and she was immediately forgotten. 
She stood up, walking over to him and putting her arms around his neck, "Well, it's Christmas Eve. I've come to unwrap my present."
Selina was the first to acknowledge that she and Bruce didn't have a typical relationship. Heck, even saying they were in a relationship was an exaggeration: they played chasing each other, between the roofs and at galas, both wearing different masks, pathological liars who had recognized each other.
They couldn't be together, not when they had such different morals and both were too stubborn to back down.
Such a pity. For those lips, she would have abandoned anything. It would have taken so little to be happy, but Selina supposed that some people weren't made for happiness.
Bruce gently pushed her away, "Selina, now is not the time."
"Are you afraid your butler won't approve?" she teased him, her arms still around his neck. 
Bruce pursed his lips, "It's not him I worry about."
"So how about we screw up this couch and..."
A small voice interrupted her, "Bruce? Who is with you?"
Selina's eyes widened. Standing by the door was a kid in Superman pajamas, messy black hair, and bleary blue eyes. He looks like a miniature Bruce. 
Bruce seemed to suddenly age ten years, "Selina, this is Dick. Dick, she's...my friend."
Friend seemed a lot better than she is a criminal I occasionally have sex with, but Selina was still too shocked that Bruce Wayne, emotionally stunted and with more trauma than scars, had a child and she didn't know it.
"Do you have a son?" finally the woman blurted out, genuinely surprised.
"Why are you so surprised? Haven't you read the newspapers?"
"I've been busy," she said evasively. Selina hadn't been in Gotham for months, keeping herself off the radar of people she'd pissed off. She had stayed out of trouble long enough not to make the bat suspicious. 
Who would have guessed that Selina was the least of his thoughts?
"Did the mother sue you for alimony? That's why he lives with you now?"
"No, his...his parents...the ropes snapped and they...they didn't make it."
Oh. Oh.
The boy had lost his parents, like Bruce. That's why the man welcomed him. Bruce had seen himself in the boy.
She pulled away from Bruce and smiled at Dick. First impressions mattered.
Dick looked at her warily, "She doesn't look like a friend to me."
"Why do you say that?"
"You look like a thief."
She laughed. Smart boy. Selina told him conspiratorially, "Don't worry. I only steal from those who deserve it."
The boy cocked his head, "Like Robin Hood?"
"Just like him."
"Wow!" he exclaimed, his wondering look making her laugh.
"Does Bruce deserve it?" Dick asked.
Selina hummed, "The only thing I want to steal from him...is his heart."
Behind her, she heard Bruce begin to breathe again. Seriously, who did he take her for? She wasn't that shameless.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Dick seemed genuinely concerned about his new guardian.
"Oh yeah, it hurts a lot. If you want it, go for it. Take a risk. Don't always play it safe or you'll die wondering."
Urgh, she was getting sentimental. It was the fault of the holidays. She used to get corny at Christmas.
Dick blinked, but before he asked any more potentially awkward questions - or something that would force either of them, god forbid, to talk about feelings - Bruce interjected, "Selina came to say hello. She's leaving now."
“She can't stay?” Dick almost begged.
"She seems nice."
"You have to go to sleep or Santa won't come," Bruce reminded him calmly, the softest voice she'd ever heard him use. Fatherhood suited him.
"But I want to see Santa Claus!"
"Well," Selina chimed in.
"We could wait for him together. What do you think?"
"Really?" 
"I could tell you a story while we wait."
Dick nodded vigorously and flung himself onto the couch. Bruce looked at her as if she'd helped Poison Ivy escape Arkham.
Selina sat down next to the overexcited boy, and started rubbing his head. She spoke softly, "You know, even at your age, I was waiting for Santa to come. My mom and I used to make him cookies, putting a lot of chocolate chips in them..."
Selina had never had the luxury of believing in Santa Claus, and sure as hell her mother had never baked cookies.
But the beauty of stories was that they didn't necessarily have to be true to be told. Within half an hour, Dick was asleep on her lap, and Bruce was staring at her in amazement.
"How did you do?"
"He was already tired," Selina explained to him.
"I just had to create the right atmosphere for him to fall asleep. Plus, kittens love it when I give them head scratches."
Bruce snorted, "He's not a kitten."
"You're right. He's a baby bat."
The man shook his head, "He's got too much color in him to be a bat. No, Dick is a bird. He's built to fly much higher than me."
The thief looked at him pityingly, "Oh, Bruce. Birds are fragile creatures."
"I know. Probably, I'll ruin him. But maybe…maybe I can learn to be more human, for Dick."
Selina teased him, "The big bat is getting softer."
"Maybe," was all Bruce answered. He took the sleeping boy by the arm, looking at Selina, "Dick comes first."
"Got it. The child comes first. What about me?"
"You..."
She laughed, "I was kidding, silly. I would never get between a single parent and his child."
"Selina...Dick comes first, but I wouldn't mind if you too...come to visit him more often."
"Are you asking me to be his cat mom?" Selina asked half jokingly and half seriously.
"If you want."
"Mhm...I will think about it."
It wasn't a no. For now, it would have been enough for both of them.
Selina gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and like a teenager on a first date she whispered in his ear, "If you want to come looking for me without the kid, you know where to find me."
Selina left much the same way she had arrived, in a whiff of subtle perfume and mischief, feeling her heart heavy and her mind full of what-ifs.
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mantareidraws · 2 months ago
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Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂
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bruciemilf · 2 months ago
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Scary boyfriend privilege? No. Scary sons privilege.
Bruce who can’t go anywhere without his newly adopted ward. He follows Bruce like a sunny shadow, grin always in place.
“Dick, can I hold your hand when we cross the street?”
Dick, very sweetly, “No.”
Bruce sighs, but accepts easily. Some guy scoffs at that and asks Bruce if he’ll let his kid just talk to him like that. His kid. His heart hurts in a very good way.
He’s about to say something, but Dick interrupts him, his teeth bared full, “Weren’t you on the news for hitting an old lady with your car?”
Bruce freezing. Dick goes back to his gameboy. They hold hands when they cross the street.
It’s both scary and comforting how little he changes when he’s an adult.
Jason, on the other hand.
Although he refuses to admit it, he does follow Bruce around, too, when his dad actually has to leave the manor. It’s when Alfred says he needs sun.
“You signed a contract, sir.”
Bruce sighing, “I signed it when I was 4. In black crayon. Those don’t count.”
Damian gasped, as if discovering a vile fact, sending an accusing glare Bruce’s way. “They don’t?”
Bruce needs an excuse to haul ass fast and that’s how Jason ends up chaperoning his socially awkward, disaster of a father in his quest to pick up food.
He’s a titanic presence next to Bruce, glaring off whoever stares a little too long or too appreciatively, strong arms crossed and his eyes hard and sharp.
Bruce gently taps his bicep and he hates the way he melts. “Do you want the chicken nuggets with or without apple slices?”
“Without.”
“Jay.”
“FINE.”
Give Jason his “he asked for No pickles” moment. It has to embarrass Bruce enough to jump in traffic, thought.
Damian has his own league and none of them can really compete with it. I think, during parent’s night, he drags Bruce off to proudly showcase his gallery of portraits.
Bruce is very moved when he realizes they’re almost all him.
There’s portraits of Dick, too, and Alfred, and a comically bad one of Tim. “Damian, they’re very beautiful. Thank you.”
“I painted them with the blood of your enemies.”
“…Thank you.”
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sreppub · 6 months ago
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battinson befriends the tiny child playing with his ipad in a corner at this gala. it’s timmy :)
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puppetmaster13u · 5 months ago
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Bruce, new to parenting: How long does your ideal hug last?
Dick: 30 to 40 minutes.
Bruce, already carrying him: That's a bit impractical-
Dick: You said ideal, not realistic
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tiffycat · 10 months ago
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Walk with me (proceeds to be delusional)
I rewatched MAWS and The Batman right after the other and instantly got brainworms
It makes no sense but I am master of my own universe and can draw whatever inane thought I have so this exists now
p2
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marskiiii · 3 months ago
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REFERENCE PRACTICE W MY NEW BRUSHESSS (and battinson)
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bbbbbbbbatman · 11 months ago
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Here’s how I want robin in the next battinson movie:
The very first scene is Bruce and tiny Dick Grayson sitting across from each other at the dining table, staring each other down in silence, both clearly grumpy about it. Alfred is in the background watching them with concern. The silence lasts about 20 seconds before Dick speaks.
“Let me fight crime.” (said with all the petulance of a pouty 10 year old)
Bruce replies immediately. “No.” (this is clearly an ongoing argument)
Immediately cut to the next scene where Dick, wearing the iconic Robin suit, is having the time of his life swinging across the city while Bruce frantically tries to keep up with him while yelling at him to be careful like an anxious mother
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homarcide-aest · 1 year ago
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pov you adopted a kid but you forgot hes not usamerican
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dragonpyre · 6 months ago
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Reverse Robin au but the ages aren't changed. Just adoption order.
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theerurishipper · 6 months ago
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First <- Part 3 <- Part 4 -> Part 5
Masterpost
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kartsie · 1 year ago
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It’s bring your kid to work day and Dick wanted to match
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bruciemilf · 3 months ago
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I think it’d be so funny if Bruce just refuses to disclose the existence of Robin to the league. He knows it’d take less than a minute for them to form a wicked mock club against him.
Except he just? Carries Robin around. Under that endless void that is his cape. Clark pinches the stress point between his brows. “Batman, is that a child under your cape?”
“No.”
“Bruce I can HEAR his heartbeat.”
“I think the long exposure to kryptonite partially damaged your brain. There is no child here, Clark.”
“He’s literally drinking Barry’s coffee right now.”
“He’s WHAT-“
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sreppub · 2 months ago
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and so it begins…. welcome to the family, dickie! (sequel to my other drawing where battinson and tim hang out at galas…)
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emo-batboy · 10 months ago
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 45 (Masterlist)
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(Part 46)
@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition
If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.
TOODLES
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nat111love · 3 months ago
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Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne
THE BATMAN ( 2022) — dir. Matt Reeves
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