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@bruciemilf Batcat with baby Dick
“You're getting sloppy,” Selina greeted Bruce from the couch.
She liked to surprise the bat and sneak into his house. But it got too easy when the owner of the house left a back window open for her.
"Selina? What are you doing here?" the billionaire asked, having the audacity to look surprised. Here, a woman disappeared for a few months, and she was immediately forgotten.
She stood up, walking over to him and putting her arms around his neck, "Well, it's Christmas Eve. I've come to unwrap my present."
Selina was the first to acknowledge that she and Bruce didn't have a typical relationship. Heck, even saying they were in a relationship was an exaggeration: they played chasing each other, between the roofs and at galas, both wearing different masks, pathological liars who had recognized each other.
They couldn't be together, not when they had such different morals and both were too stubborn to back down.
Such a pity. For those lips, she would have abandoned anything. It would have taken so little to be happy, but Selina supposed that some people weren't made for happiness.
Bruce gently pushed her away, "Selina, now is not the time."
"Are you afraid your butler won't approve?" she teased him, her arms still around his neck.
Bruce pursed his lips, "It's not him I worry about."
"So how about we screw up this couch and..."
A small voice interrupted her, "Bruce? Who is with you?"
Selina's eyes widened. Standing by the door was a kid in Superman pajamas, messy black hair, and bleary blue eyes. He looks like a miniature Bruce.
Bruce seemed to suddenly age ten years, "Selina, this is Dick. Dick, she's...my friend."
Friend seemed a lot better than she is a criminal I occasionally have sex with, but Selina was still too shocked that Bruce Wayne, emotionally stunted and with more trauma than scars, had a child and she didn't know it.
"Do you have a son?" finally the woman blurted out, genuinely surprised.
"Why are you so surprised? Haven't you read the newspapers?"
"I've been busy," she said evasively. Selina hadn't been in Gotham for months, keeping herself off the radar of people she'd pissed off. She had stayed out of trouble long enough not to make the bat suspicious.
Who would have guessed that Selina was the least of his thoughts?
"Did the mother sue you for alimony? That's why he lives with you now?"
"No, his...his parents...the ropes snapped and they...they didn't make it."
Oh. Oh.
The boy had lost his parents, like Bruce. That's why the man welcomed him. Bruce had seen himself in the boy.
She pulled away from Bruce and smiled at Dick. First impressions mattered.
Dick looked at her warily, "She doesn't look like a friend to me."
"Why do you say that?"
"You look like a thief."
She laughed. Smart boy. Selina told him conspiratorially, "Don't worry. I only steal from those who deserve it."
The boy cocked his head, "Like Robin Hood?"
"Just like him."
"Wow!" he exclaimed, his wondering look making her laugh.
"Does Bruce deserve it?" Dick asked.
Selina hummed, "The only thing I want to steal from him...is his heart."
Behind her, she heard Bruce begin to breathe again. Seriously, who did he take her for? She wasn't that shameless.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Dick seemed genuinely concerned about his new guardian.
"Oh yeah, it hurts a lot. If you want it, go for it. Take a risk. Don't always play it safe or you'll die wondering."
Urgh, she was getting sentimental. It was the fault of the holidays. She used to get corny at Christmas.
Dick blinked, but before he asked any more potentially awkward questions - or something that would force either of them, god forbid, to talk about feelings - Bruce interjected, "Selina came to say hello. She's leaving now."
“She can't stay?” Dick almost begged.
"She seems nice."
"You have to go to sleep or Santa won't come," Bruce reminded him calmly, the softest voice she'd ever heard him use. Fatherhood suited him.
"But I want to see Santa Claus!"
"Well," Selina chimed in.
"We could wait for him together. What do you think?"
"Really?"
"I could tell you a story while we wait."
Dick nodded vigorously and flung himself onto the couch. Bruce looked at her as if she'd helped Poison Ivy escape Arkham.
Selina sat down next to the overexcited boy, and started rubbing his head. She spoke softly, "You know, even at your age, I was waiting for Santa to come. My mom and I used to make him cookies, putting a lot of chocolate chips in them..."
Selina had never had the luxury of believing in Santa Claus, and sure as hell her mother had never baked cookies.
But the beauty of stories was that they didn't necessarily have to be true to be told. Within half an hour, Dick was asleep on her lap, and Bruce was staring at her in amazement.
"How did you do?"
"He was already tired," Selina explained to him.
"I just had to create the right atmosphere for him to fall asleep. Plus, kittens love it when I give them head scratches."
Bruce snorted, "He's not a kitten."
"You're right. He's a baby bat."
The man shook his head, "He's got too much color in him to be a bat. No, Dick is a bird. He's built to fly much higher than me."
The thief looked at him pityingly, "Oh, Bruce. Birds are fragile creatures."
"I know. Probably, I'll ruin him. But maybe…maybe I can learn to be more human, for Dick."
Selina teased him, "The big bat is getting softer."
"Maybe," was all Bruce answered. He took the sleeping boy by the arm, looking at Selina, "Dick comes first."
"Got it. The child comes first. What about me?"
"You..."
She laughed, "I was kidding, silly. I would never get between a single parent and his child."
"Selina...Dick comes first, but I wouldn't mind if you too...come to visit him more often."
"Are you asking me to be his cat mom?" Selina asked half jokingly and half seriously.
"If you want."
"Mhm...I will think about it."
It wasn't a no. For now, it would have been enough for both of them.
Selina gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and like a teenager on a first date she whispered in his ear, "If you want to come looking for me without the kid, you know where to find me."
Selina left much the same way she had arrived, in a whiff of subtle perfume and mischief, feeling her heart heavy and her mind full of what-ifs.
#crossover#fanfiction#books#feels#au#quote#bruce wayne x selina kyle#dc bruce wayne#the batman#batman 2022#battinson fic#battinson#batcat#batman x catwoman#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x selina kyle dc#dc battinson#dc batman fic
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Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂
#my art#dc batman#dc fanart#the batman#batman#batman fanart#battinson#bruce wayne#nightwing#dick grayson#red hood#jason todd#red robin#tim drake#timothy drake#robin#dc robin#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#good parent bruce wayne#let them be a family dc gdi#istg the four of them imprinted on the big bad bat#he's their emotionally constipated support human/batdad
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Scary boyfriend privilege? No. Scary sons privilege.
Bruce who can’t go anywhere without his newly adopted ward. He follows Bruce like a sunny shadow, grin always in place.
“Dick, can I hold your hand when we cross the street?”
Dick, very sweetly, “No.”
Bruce sighs, but accepts easily. Some guy scoffs at that and asks Bruce if he’ll let his kid just talk to him like that. His kid. His heart hurts in a very good way.
He’s about to say something, but Dick interrupts him, his teeth bared full, “Weren’t you on the news for hitting an old lady with your car?”
Bruce freezing. Dick goes back to his gameboy. They hold hands when they cross the street.
It’s both scary and comforting how little he changes when he’s an adult.
Jason, on the other hand.
Although he refuses to admit it, he does follow Bruce around, too, when his dad actually has to leave the manor. It’s when Alfred says he needs sun.
“You signed a contract, sir.”
Bruce sighing, “I signed it when I was 4. In black crayon. Those don’t count.”
Damian gasped, as if discovering a vile fact, sending an accusing glare Bruce’s way. “They don’t?”
Bruce needs an excuse to haul ass fast and that’s how Jason ends up chaperoning his socially awkward, disaster of a father in his quest to pick up food.
He’s a titanic presence next to Bruce, glaring off whoever stares a little too long or too appreciatively, strong arms crossed and his eyes hard and sharp.
Bruce gently taps his bicep and he hates the way he melts. “Do you want the chicken nuggets with or without apple slices?”
“Without.”
“Jay.”
“FINE.”
Give Jason his “he asked for No pickles” moment. It has to embarrass Bruce enough to jump in traffic, thought.
Damian has his own league and none of them can really compete with it. I think, during parent’s night, he drags Bruce off to proudly showcase his gallery of portraits.
Bruce is very moved when he realizes they’re almost all him.
There’s portraits of Dick, too, and Alfred, and a comically bad one of Tim. “Damian, they’re very beautiful. Thank you.”
“I painted them with the blood of your enemies.”
“…Thank you.”
#protective sons >>>>>>>#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#batdad#battinson#batfam#dc#dc comics#text#text post
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battinson befriends the tiny child playing with his ipad in a corner at this gala. it’s timmy :)
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Bruce, new to parenting: How long does your ideal hug last?
Dick: 30 to 40 minutes.
Bruce, already carrying him: That's a bit impractical-
Dick: You said ideal, not realistic
#prompts#batman#dc#dcu#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batdad#battinson#give him a robin#incorrect quotes#funny quotes#Dick clings like a koala & Jason gets carried like a ferret
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Walk with me (proceeds to be delusional)
I rewatched MAWS and The Batman right after the other and instantly got brainworms
It makes no sense but I am master of my own universe and can draw whatever inane thought I have so this exists now
p2
#superbat#clark kent#superman#maws#my adventures with superman#bruce wayne#batman#battinson#The batman#the batman (2022)#dc#mawtb au#dc comics#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k
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REFERENCE PRACTICE W MY NEW BRUSHESSS (and battinson)
#my art#art#digital art#concept art#fanart#illustration#commisions open#marski art#battinson#dc batman#batman and robin#batman#bruce#bruce wayne#dc#dcu#dc fanart#dc comics#dc universe
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Here’s how I want robin in the next battinson movie:
The very first scene is Bruce and tiny Dick Grayson sitting across from each other at the dining table, staring each other down in silence, both clearly grumpy about it. Alfred is in the background watching them with concern. The silence lasts about 20 seconds before Dick speaks.
“Let me fight crime.” (said with all the petulance of a pouty 10 year old)
Bruce replies immediately. “No.” (this is clearly an ongoing argument)
Immediately cut to the next scene where Dick, wearing the iconic Robin suit, is having the time of his life swinging across the city while Bruce frantically tries to keep up with him while yelling at him to be careful like an anxious mother
#just a whole movie of bruce being bullied by this small child he just adopted#being forced to take on a ‘if you’re going to drink then id rather you do it with me’ style of parenting#just back and forth between falling in love with his new son and going ‘why tf did I adopt a child?!’#batman#robin#battinson#bruce wayne#dick grayson#dc#dc comics#mine
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pov you adopted a kid but you forgot hes not usamerican
#dick grayson#batman#nightwing#batfam#dc robin#the batman#battinson#bruce wayne#my art#the amount of time i had to convery foot to cm is disgusting be normal like rest of the world damn
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Reverse Robin au but the ages aren't changed. Just adoption order.
#bruce rocks back up in gotham with a baby damian and immediately starts his crusade as batman#or maybe he rocks back up#takes in Duke after the first major villain attack#and then a few months later damian gets dropped off#then so on and so forth#until 12 year old dick grayson performs in Gotham with his parents at Haly's Circus#aka Bruce Wayne just has a lot of essentially toddlers#in my mind it's battinson which makes this even more funny#dc#text post#reverse robins#batkids#batfamily#batfam#batdad#bruce wayne
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First <- Part 3 <- Part 4 -> Part 5
Masterpost
#DC#Dick Grayson#Bruce Wayne#Damian Wayne#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#Cassandra Cain#Barbara Gordon#Selina Kyle#Talia Al Ghul#Clark Kent#Harvey Dent#Minkhoa Khan#Alfred Pennyworth#Batman#Nightwing#Superman#The Batman#The Batman 2022#Battinson#I want to clarify that Cass is saying “shame on you” to Bruce in that first part#I felt like it wasn't clear at all
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It’s bring your kid to work day and Dick wanted to match
#funnily enough this didn’t start as a battinson piece#Batdad begins…#the batman#give that man a 10 year old STAT#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#Robin#batdad#my art#dc comics
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I think it’d be so funny if Bruce just refuses to disclose the existence of Robin to the league. He knows it’d take less than a minute for them to form a wicked mock club against him.
Except he just? Carries Robin around. Under that endless void that is his cape. Clark pinches the stress point between his brows. “Batman, is that a child under your cape?”
“No.”
“Bruce I can HEAR his heartbeat.”
“I think the long exposure to kryptonite partially damaged your brain. There is no child here, Clark.”
“He’s literally drinking Barry’s coffee right now.”
“He’s WHAT-“
#barry drinks a satanic amount of coffeeine to keep up his energy so Bruce now has a demonic 8 year old bouncing off the walls#he deserves it#bruce wayne#clark kent#dc#dc comics#justice league#dick grayson#battinson#text#text post
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and so it begins…. welcome to the family, dickie! (sequel to my other drawing where battinson and tim hang out at galas…)
#decided to post it on its own#dc#mine#batfam#battinson#tim drake#dick grayson#to be clear dick is his ward. tim is some kid he hangs out with at parties#gotham is like aww hes so good with kids. hes like please dont talk to me
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 45 (Masterlist)
(Part 46)
@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition
If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.
TOODLES
#a wild battinson#battinson#bruce wayne#batman#the batman 2022#batman 2022#the batman#dc universe#battinson needs a hug#gotham#soft bruce wayne#social media au#social media#gothamite#only in gotham#gotham city#dc#jason todd#give Battinson a child 2k24#IT’S 2k24 NOW OH LORD#lex luthor
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Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne
THE BATMAN ( 2022) — dir. Matt Reeves
#the batman#bruce wayne#the batman 2022#robert pattinson#thebatmanedit#robertpattinsonedit#dc#dcedit#dcfilms#dc movies#dcmultiverse#dc comics#cinemaedit#batman#dcfilmblr#rpattinsonedit#cinematv#battinson#moviegifs#filmgifs#gifs#q
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