#dans-queer-ass

[nebulaedaniel]

crying my eyes out i love him so bad

[nonchante]

i cooked and i served on this one, not gonna lie

(acrilics, glue, and cardboard on canvas)

[whoviandoodler]

one of the things that makes mdzs SUCH a great story is the fact that it's a tragedy with queer protagonists, but their queerness isn't the cause or the center of the tragedy. it's not even related, really. it's a story about love and loss and wrong and right, about what we owe each other and what we owe ourselves, about how you can find joy even amidst chaos and grief; its complexity and tragedy is what makes it so profound and touching. sure, there's 'casual' queerphobia in the story, but with everything else going on, it's not really relevant- wwx's mostly like, 'oh, i like guys? i like lwj? i love lwj? fuck, what if he doesn't love me back? am i being presumptuous to think he returns my feelings? what do I do now?' followed by 'wait, he loves me back??? we're getting married IMMEDIATELY', and that whole attitude is very refreshing because sometimes you just want to read a queer story that isn't about queer suffering but that's still incredibly miserable, and i think we as a queer community deserve it

[assreveal]

and if i said dan and i share similar interior design tastes with our love of cold concrete homes and a single tree in the middle what would you do

[industryhbo]

sex ed s4 was kind of a mess lol

[maraudersvibes]

If anyone even cares there is a domino effect from Dan and Phil existing on the internet -> Alice Oseman watching and creating their own “we would find each other in every universe” epic gay love story -> Heartstopper blowing up and creating a more accepting and inclusive environment for queer British teenagers -> Dan and Phil complaining today about how it’s hard to even watch Heartstopper because it makes them long for a youth they never got to have.

Do they even realize their influence is part of why teens these days get to have that life? Terrible influence my ass, they changed the world.

[thighguys]

Phan Fic Recs!!

here's a bunch of my absolute favorites for anyone who needs a distraction from the election <3 i will make a second post with shorter ones as well, this post will just be fics that are over 10k

Inheriting Love by Fictropes (22k)- Dan is a lawyer who executes wills in a small town in the English countryside, and Phil's aunt leaves him a house. One of the cutest fics I've read recently tbh, lots of banter and cows<3

Silver Arrows to the Heart by @evermorepeyton (137k, WIP)- How could i POSSIBLY make a rec list without including this masterpiece??? Dan and Phil are Formula 1 drivers, chaos ensues<3 sooooo much fun (and there are some really beautiful cool women in there too, just as a treat)

dancing on the blades (you set my heart on fire) by kishere (123k)- Dan is an amateur figure skater who scores a spot at the famous Lester training gym, where he meets the legendary Phil Lester and of course they fall in love... this one has sooo many cute fetus moments and wonderful cameos from Kath<3 absolutely love it

Like a Bowl of Oranges by cloej88 (@bitchslapblastoids) (47k)- Phil is a filmmaker looking to amplify queer stories in the media, Dan is a ghostwriter who's been writing a memoir on the side, you can guess what happens next. very VERY fun fic, lots of drama and lovely reflection, as well as the softest scenes between them. love this one (and the author :3)

The Odd Uneven Time by @yikesola (20k)- A 2009 fic from Phil's perspective, falling in love with a boy over the Internet. Absolutely WONDERFUL vibes, so so so cute (and it probably happened in real life ahaha)

Live Incidentally by yikesola (37k)- Phil makes novelty t-shirts and Dan buys them :) really funny, also some great Lester family moments

The Pianist Everyone Is Talking About... Is My Husband by @natigail (25k)- Dan is a famous pianist, Phil plays his songs on the radio, but nobody knows that they're actually married. Lots of chaos ensues, crazy fangirls can feel super represented, and Dan laughs at Phil about it all<3 this fic is so funny lol, highly HIGHLY recommend

Kick Me While I'm Down by jerserker (14k)- Dan and Phil join an adult kickball league! Phil just wants to make friends, and Dan... kicks everyone's asses <3 Really funny competitive Dan, fun times honestly :)

missing the obvious by Fictropes (14k)- Dan plays videogames in an anonymous Discord server at night, and during the day he goes to his boring office job and hooks up with his coworker Phil in bathroom stalls... I wonder how these two things could possibly be connected...

Our House by sierradeux (50k)- Dan is a real estate agent, Phil is a Youtube house flipper, they team up to cohost an HGTV renovation special and fall in love. With the house, obviously. But also with each other <3 this is one of my favorites guys I think it should be required reading for everyone on phannie tumblr

maybe this christmas by blackbirddan (13k)- it's November, im allowed to rec christmas fics now, right??? anyway, this one is HUGE for fans of the Lester and Howell families, just so so so soft and sweet and awesome<3

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY by natigail (176k)- i mean this one has a pretty self explanatory title... read for super hot dancer Phil, awkward celebrity Dan, and so so so many beautiful outfit and dance descriptions :3 seriously, I wish I could watch this season irl :( this is for sure in my top 3 fics of all time to be so honest

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? by natigail (15k)- Cornelia pov on meeting the boy Phil brought home, and then throughout the years. SO CUTE!!!!! really big for fans of outsider pov (me)

okie dokie<3 i will be making an under 10k rec list as well, so be on the lookout for that one!

[lalalalayla]

Yesterday, people in twitter was saying that we were being disrespectful over dnp limits by saying that we find comfort and hope in a queer relationship that have been existing for almost 15 years now.

Today, Dan Howell said that they never fucked ON YouTube, and confirmed Phil Lester ass connoisseur.

Dnptwt wakes up, makes a war, lose it and then go to sleep.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Random Fics (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

A Leap in the Dark (ao3) - Bleeding Phass Incident (doctorwhat420)

Summary: Dan’s fingers brushed Lester’s face on the screen. Cold, plastic, hard… Yeah, it was probably just like the real deal.

An Island in the Mediterranean (ao3) - natigail

Summary: A holiday just for them and their friends. A little break filled with calmness by the seaside. Five precious moments shared on Instagram. September 2017

As the World Caves In (ao3) - cosmic_angel_writes

Summary: Dan and Phil vs The Zombie Apocalypse

Boys on Fire (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Dan is visiting Phil for the second time ever and a little Buffy viewing session turns into sexy times.

cherry lips and crystal skies (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: It’s summer in England and Phil gets invited to a high school pool party to survive the heat wave. There, he meets a flirty and mysterious Dan Howell.

Come along (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: In medieval England, a young knight rides north, sent to serve at the court of the quiet young Duke of Lancaster.

Crushes and Waterslides (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan has a massive crush on one of the supervisors at his local water park, which is why he goes back every single week even though he doesn’t even like watersides.

Deeper (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Inspired by the idea of "Pass Around Party Bottom Dan."

Don't Blame Me (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: When Phil gets a new job at the Tops Only Bar, he's just looking to make ends meet over the holiday period. He doesn't expect how he'll feel about one of the performers or how hard that'll make his job.

envelop the lonely places (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Dan in his arms is like remembering how to breathe.

(reunion fic, dec '22)

Green (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: When a man hits on Dan at a party, Phil knows it doesn’t really matter, but he still doesn’t like it.

How I Met My Boyfriend on Queer Eye (warning: super gay) (ao3) - danhoweiis, twoheadlights (fizzfic)

Summary: au where dan is a hero on queer eye and accidentally falls in love with one phil lester

i thought that i was dreaming (ao3) - twoheadlights (fizzfic)

Summary: Dan and Phil and the beds they've shared. Basically.

in this smoking chaos (ao3) - writingcollective

Summary: Dan bottoms for the first time, not being able to shut down his inner demons that whisper internalised homophobic thoughts into his ear. But Phil guides him through it, somehow.

life happens, coffee helps (and so do you) (ao3) - halfofacrackedbluesky

Summary: Dan makes friends with the barista at the local coffee shop.

Like Fine Print (ao3) - totalincandescense

Summary: Every few weeks, Dan was given an unfriendly reminder of at least one of the many reasons why he never went outside. The most frequently recurring thing on the list being the general existence of people. But more specifically, the existence of people who flirted with Phil.

Love That Passes (Is Enough) (ao3) - nihilist_toothpaste

Summary: Phil is a sad divorcee who lives in a mansion. Dan starts as a nervous and weirdly loud law student hired to work part-time as Phil's poolboy-slash-housekeeper and turns into so much more.

Just go with me on this.

move your body when the sunlight dies (ao3) - phegetarian

Summary: dan is cursed, phil is a witch.

and i can't do summaries.

one night stand (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan meets a stranger in a bar during after one of his shows on the We’re All Doomed tour.

Phil’s ASs (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Dan can’t help but worship Phil’s perfect posterior

Phome is where the heart is (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan and phil go shopping at target while in Seattle for tit. they’re feeling festive for the season and a little sappy bc, well, duh 🧡

Precious Baby Angel (ao3) - toadsappho

Summary: Phil shows Dan his new t-shirt, but that's not the only surprise he has for him.

remember me, love? (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: The club was a bit crowded tonight for his taste; the sound of beating hearts and gallons of blood rushing through veins an annoying distraction from his hunt for something to sate his hunger.

Silver Arrows To The Heart (ao3) - evermorepeyton

Summary: Phil loves his life, he loves being a Mercedes Formula 1 driver and he loves being PJ’s teammate, friend and neighbor. He loves the routine he has going on. He lives in a perfect bubble.

But now that bubble is about to burst when the news that PJ is leaving Mercedes hit the tabloids. And worst of all, his replacement is Red Bull’s two-time world champion Daniel Howell, who has a reputation for having a little bit of an ego.

Phil isn’t exactly happy about this.

To put it lightly, he fucking hates it here.

sunkissed (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: Maybe Phil was made to pour warmth into this man and leave little marks all over his body the way the sun does when it covers his skin with freckles. Maybe everything they’ve ever done and every little way they’ve loved each other has culminated in this very moment, where they can hardly see each other in the low light but are still brighter than the yellow light that breaks through the sky and glitters on the ocean.

Or, Dan and Phil go on holiday, and every photo they take tells a story.

"that's what makeup is for!" (ao3) - latenightfanfic

Summary: dnp finally have a night alone to themselves in a hotel after a few drinks after being cooped up in a tour bus.

The Most Beautiful Forbidden Fruit - botanistlester

Summary: In a world where witches and humans live side-by-side, a war breaks out after the two species procreate, producing bloodthirsty children. As a result, the government puts laws into place: Witches and humans must never fall in love or bear children. It’s a rule that Dan Howell and his family have lived hand-in-hand with, even going so far as to make sure that Dan never has prolonged contact with the other species. When Dan goes to his favourite magic shop one day, he meets the new employee, Phil Lester. A human who he can’t seem to get rid of.

the pool noodle fight (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Navigating the emotional aftermath of Phil's near-death experience with the help of, uh, some foam pool toys.

Time is on our side (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: In 2010, AmazingPhil decided to make a video trying to time travel. He ends up meeting his boyfriend Dan in the year 2023 as well as himself, and he has a lot of questions.

Us, As Told by Other People (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: People make a lot of assumptions about Dan and Phil, but what happens when Dan starts believing some of them. You can’t actually ship yourself with your best friend, can you?

Or: the five times Dan was guilty of over-thinking things, and the one time he wasn’t.

waiting outside the lines (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: An not-really-coffee-shop, not-really-uni au in which Phil is confused, Dan is cute, no one does youtube, and there's still a happy ending.

we got the north lights (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Sex by the pool in Australia.

you look so good it hurts (in my favorite t-shirt) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Phil is gifted with a "Mega Dilf" shirt. Guess who picked that shirt out?

you should’ve raised a baby girl (i should’ve been a better son) (ao3) - thislifedoesnotexist

Summary: Fiona has had a best friend, and she’s had a crush, and Dan is both and neither and something new and transcendent altogether.

(2009 and it’s the same but they’re transfem so it’s not)

[yonpote]

as someone who wasnt here at the time (was a fan from about 2011-2013) what exactly defines the "softlaunch era" pre-coming out that i hear you and others refer to?

you've come to the right place cuz this is the era when i truly became a Phannie... "gay softlaunch" is generally considered 2017-18, but to be more specific it was october 31, 2016-june 13, 2019!

before they came out this was also referred to as "post-baking universe" referencing the halloween 2016 monster pops video that had an (at the time) abnormal amount of raunchy humor and just general derangedness. nothing like it is today, but that point felt very significant and dan even brought it up in liveshows like yeah idk what happened there and when phil called a peach an ass in a gaming video dan said "we live in a post-baking universe" (i believe fans coined the term tho).

people have also called it the "glass closet era" which is a divisive name for a lot of people cuz "glass closet" can be seen as kind of a mean term and it implies like, stereotyping or speculating or the "we been knew" behavior dan had talked about in BIG. which i understand that feeling, but i don't think that's what was happening, because the way i see it was queer flagging. ways they could show a little bit who they really were without saying it just yet. they weren't Out out, but they were just like. openly talking about attraction to men and finding men hot and not calling it a Man Crush or anything. dan would bring up queerness more often in liveshows, which hes mentioned queer artists and stuff before but now it was also making jokes about like.. being in a gas leak man porn fantasy in his first livestream of 2017 LMAO. phil would make a lot more innuendos, which hes always done, but now he wasnt pretending like he didnt know what he was saying. dan started wearing a single hoop earring on his right ear. this is an old school form of queer flagging, in The Olden Days (im too lazy to look up when but like my 70-something year old history teacher knew about this) if a man had an earring on his left ear, he's straight, and if he had one on his right, he's gay. that one's pretty subtle if you don't know much about queer history and there were Great Debates over whether or not we should take it to mean he is gay, but personally i saw it as like. he was letting us know without needing to say the G word out loud just yet!

i think a really important part of this era was even outside of directly discussing queerness, they were both trying to become more authentic online and figuring out how to do that without compromising their own privacy. dan stopped straightening his hair and rebranded and opened up about his mental health. phil's authenticity journey seemed a bit slower and wasn't as overt or seemingly drastic as dan's was, but it was happening! he changed up his hair!!! which yes its kinda silly to talk abt dnp's hair but the emo fringe was Their Brand. phil in particular said that, the emo fringe was a comfort place but he was feeling like he was trapped in having it forever because it was Who He Was, so it was a huge deal for him! he opened up a little bit about his physical health, both of them were a bit more honest about all the stress and anxiety they were dealing with (the mukbang is a pretty good video where they talk about that and an interesting one to watch in retrospect) and their whole 2018 tour was themed around whether they should Give The People What They Want or do what they wanted to do.

god i talk too much ANYWAY then dan disappeared in 2019 and phil was manning the helm for a good five and a half months and then the Big Gay hit! the Hard Launch Era if you will :) and now i would say 2023-present is the Unhinged Era so i have no clue what the hell their next move is gonna be...

[beemoon17]

My Personal Fox Rankings

I saw @yourleftpinkytoe-blog do this and thought I'd give it a go! These are just my personal rankings and obviously I'd love to talk about why or hear about anyone else's.

Kevin Day (I relate to his mental health struggles and his need for perfection, he's giving gifted kid syndrome, autistic af)

Andrew Minyard (Devoted to his family, enforces his boundaries, relate to his mental health struggles, killing for his brother)

Neil Josten (Most of my love for him is because of his love for other characters, his loyalty and protectiveness over the family he found in the Foxes and his absolute devotion to respecting Andrew's boundaries)

David Wymack ("It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you." I think that covers all my reasoning)

Seth Gordon (We don't get to learn as much about him as the others but Seth hit me a lot harder than I've seen most people feel. He wanted to prove himself, he wanted to be better, he wanted to win. He's the what if. The almost. Every kid who couldn't be saved, Who gave up or was given up on a minute too soon. He was almost there. And then he was gone.)

Aaron Minyard (I have a weak spot for sibling relationships, killing for his brother, the urge to protect your siblings and to stay by your siblings side and at the same time wanting to prove you can be more or different or better than them, not understanding each other completely but knowing you stand and fall together always.)

Matt Boyd (100% projected every urge I've ever had to have a big brother onto him. The way he's always there on the Court to physically protect his teammates, he's big and strong and powerful, but off the Court he is kind and caring and gentle. He loves the Foxes and he has their backs. His relationship with Neil was everything.)

Nicky Hemmick (I loved his blatant and unavoidable queerness, for a character who has canonically been shammed and abused for his sexuality and coming from a world myself where I don't feel safe or brave enough to be unapologetically queer it's so beautiful to read. He took in the twins, he never gave up on them, never walked away. The twins weren't easy, not before the story started and not when we get to arrive in it, but he loves his family and he wants them to have better than he did, and that means something.)

Dan Wilds (Oh Captain my Captain. Dan is an amazing leader and my love for her comes from her devotion to her team. She is tough and she worked her ass off for the role she has, she's more than earned her share of respect. She believes in her team even after years of failing and bullshit.)

Betsy Dobson (The therapist we all dream of having. If Andrew could trust her I can't imagine anyone couldn't with enough time. She is a safe space and a constant, and clearly has patience for days with the twinyards as her clients. The fact that she provides hot chocolate is 100% a huge plus for me.)

Abby Winfield (Always there for the Foxes, whether that's patching them up, giving them a roof to sleep under, or cooking warm meals. She's a safe adult like Bee and Wymack and they are so very important and precious.)

Allison Reynolds (I love Allison, her being this low is NOT Allison hate, I simply did not connect with her as much as other characters, she is still dear to me, all of the Foxes are. She is devoted to the Foxes and found them somewhere safe to run off to and have some fun after shit went down. and even when the worst possible thing happens and she loses the man she loves she comes back ready to fight because she knows it's what he would've wanted.)

Renee Walker (Once again NOT Renee hate, all of those Foxes are dear to me. I had trouble with her "religious angel girl" attitude in a similar way to Neil, I just couldn't trust it. Renee is an amazing force within the Foxes, the bridge before Neil arrived, providing Andrew with an outlet and a friend, protecting the upperclassmen Foxes. I admire her for pulling herself out of darkness, even if I can't connect to the religious aspect, and I admire that she acknowledges and respects her old life, not burying it but not letting it control her future or her present day.

[clubconsent]

I was thinking "Man, I bet a lot of Locked Tomb fans would go nuts for Die," and then I realized I knew a bunch of comics I think fellow Muir fans would like. So here, have some of my personal faves.

Bitch Planet, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Valentine De Landro

This one will probably never be completed, but the two existing volumes are absurdly good. It's about an off-world penal colony for non-compliant women. Brutal, angry, pulpy--and full of love and admiration for women who rebel.

Die, Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans

Goth as hell, lovely, and extremely gender. All about the power of story, but story here is not inspirational. It is eldritch: amoral, all-powerful, and hungry.

Love and Rockets, Jaime Hernandez, Gilbert Hernandez, Mario Hernandez

I'm particularly thinking of the Jaime stuff here--queer punks on bizarre adventures, loving and surviving in a shit-ass world.

Monstress, Marjorie Liu, Sana Takeda

A terrifying and powerful lesbian on a quest for revenge has an elder god come out of her arm stump occasionally to kill people. Also, there is a cat who is a nekomancer. (Get it?)

Once and Future, Kieron Gillen, Dan Mora, Tamra Bonvillain

There's a lot going on here thematically, but whatever. Just take a look at Bridgette, 80-something monster hunter with just the worst attitude you've ever heard of. See that old woman? You will absolutely want to fuck that old woman.

Pretty Deadly, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Emma Rios

Ungh. The art. The deathiness. The art. Imagine if the Locked Tomb took its aesthetic cues from westerns, swap out necromancers for reapers, and you're pretty much there. Just a gorgeous series.

The Sandman, Neil Gaiman, Sam Kieth, Mike Dringenberg

You have heard of Sandman. It is as good as you have heard. Shares with TLT an unflinching--but warm--look into the darkness.

Tigress Queen, Allison Shaw

Buff warrior queen must enter the opulent city of the enemy empire to seek peace. Palace intrigue, diplomatic tensions, occasional fights. Everyone is very sexy.

Obligatory mention for the five of you who never put on gray bodypaint: Homestuck is interesting, but I do not recommend it because I do not think the comic itself is very good. Homestuck is a several-thousand page joke at the expense of the reader. It did not deserve the passionate, creative fandom it attracted.

It gets mentioned a lot as a TLT influence because Muir co-wrote a beloved fic (Promstuck), but she herself has said it's not any bigger an influence than a million other things she's read or played. There are some interesting overlaps, but many of those are because she's influenced by the same material Hussie is (notably parser games and jrpgs).

If you really want to read Homestuck, I recommend listening to Homestuck Made This World as you go.

[mellen2]

I mean this so sincerely as a transgender. Why are we debating if Dan is trans? First of all it’s none of our business until he outright tells us. Second, I know he’s dropped little “hints” but none of them are exactly gender related, more style exploration/his experience living as a more feminine man. Third, did y’all not learn from last time? Last time y’all debated his queer identity he left the internet for five years. Leave his ass alone until he’s ready (IF he’s ready) to tell us.

[everything-is-as-it-was]

I cannot stress enough how important to me Dan and Phil's journey is, just because it coincides with my own

yeah I'm about to talk about myself buckle up

I watched Dan's "Basically I'm Gay" video three weeks after it came out. Scandalous, I know. I had become a fan maybe four months beforehand and was anxiously waiting when this Dan character would post again, now that I was actually paying attention.

The reason I watched it so late was because I was at a christian girls camp. It was a terrible idea, but you had to sign up for it many months in advance and I didn't think it would be such a big deal nine months ago.

But my transmasc ass went and endured it and I felt so incredibly alone. SO alone. I didn't believe in God, I wasn't a girl, I couldn't wear my binder or masc clothes. It sucked, to say the least.

And I get out of this summer camp, and the first thing I do is check youtube, and lo and behold.

When I tell you that for me personally it could not have come at a better time, i mean it. Obviously he's gay and not trans, but to see someone coming out (to international hooplah) despite SO much adversity and inner turmoil was so, so comforting. It made me think maybe everything would be okay.

I did watch Phil's video as soon as it came out, and it offered such a nice, short, chill contrast to Dan's video. Queerness can be big and proud and emotional and important, or it can be quiet and chill and simply existing. Both are valid.

Shit happened, went MIA for six months, and I came back in 2021, on T and having had top surgery. I was ready to live my life!

But I had so much growing to do! And it took so long to where I was genuinely happy and knew who I was.

And seeing both Dan and Phil become more confident in themselves (kind of counterintuitive, but i think it's more obvious in Phil) and just... you can See how much happier they are in the recent videos. They're making whatever they want to make, however they want to make it, on their own terms.

Idk. Their whole story just brings me so much comfort. I still don't entirely know who I am, but if two gay men who were so deeply entrenched in the closet can come out and have happy lives, maybe I will too.

[gracegrove]

TW 70s era use of the word "queer"

Neil Hargrove doing a very working-class thing by volun-telling Billy that he will be spending his summer as a 14-year-old doing hard manual labor on a job site with some random ass uncle he didn't even know he had until one morning over dry Cheerios.

Neil drops him off at Uncle Matt's in Anaheim with a backpack and a duffel bag. See ya in September. "Don't cause your uncle any trouble," he warned with a thick grip on the shoulder before he took off for the interstate.

Billy stared at the man with hard eyes, his arms crossed in defiance. "You're not my real Uncle..."

The man chortled, ash sprinkling from the thick cigar chomped in his teeth. "Ya think so, tough guy?" He chuckled some more, waving for Billy to come inside.

Uncle Matt was a large man, as wide as he was tall. The furniture groaned when he sat down, casually kicking off his work boots and shrugging out of his suspenders as he picked up the can of beer from the side table.

"So Willy..." "It's Billy." Uncle Matt gave him a toothy grin. "Billy," he corrected, "Ya ever work a day in yer life?"

Billy sat on the corner of the couch, as the man took a long sip from his Coors. "Kinda. I mow lawns n' stuff."

Matt chuckled, "Ya ain't gonna be mowing no fucking lawns here! This is gonna be hardass work kid. Best get some sleep now..."

Billy rolled his eyes and headed off to the bedroom he was given.

After the first month, Billy and Uncle Matt fell into a routine. Matt's wind-up alarm clock was grating and shrill enough to wake Billy before Matt got two extra snores in at sunrise. The pair shared toast, eggs, and Folger's instant before heading out to the job site.

Billy's hands had gotten rough and calloused. Blistered and scabbed over more times than he could count.

"Hey Billy!" Matt called out over the ending shift horn. Billy slung the hammer in his grip onto the loop of his jeans and began climbing down the ladder. "Yah?"

"We're gonna have some company over tonight for dinner. My bookkeeper, Dan. So play nice." Billy smiled wryly. "I always play nice."

Things seemed a bit odd when dinnertime began rolling around. Uncle Matt was combing and carefully parting his hair in the mirror and was that the stench of aftershave on his beard?

Also for the first time in his life, Billy discovered what a tablecloth looked like as Matt carefully smoothed it across the dining room table. Billy crinkled his nose in suspicion, "Dan's a woman."

Matt barked out a laughed. "You're a hoot kid! Wait till Dan hears that!"

The doorbell rang and Matt stood up straight, smoothing his shirt. "Billy, can you set the plates out while I get the door?" Billy squinted at him, as the man hurried out of the room.

Peeking his head around the corner Billy snuck a glance at their guest.

Dan was not what Billy was expecting and he certainly wasn't a woman either. Dan was an average man of average height. He had shaggy brown hair and a thick mustache to boot. His face was set with round thick-rimmed glasses. What was so special about Dan that they had to have dinner with him?

The men hugged at the door, the embrace uncharacteristic of how Billy believed men should act around each other. They regarded each other warmly. "I'm so glad you came," Matt said quietly. "Me too. I've missed you."

Scurrying back, Billy quickly set the table and sat down, his heart thundering. He suddenly felt like he shouldn't be here. Like he was now a part of a horrible secret.

"Billy, this is Dan." Matt introduced as they entered the room. Billy awkwardly rose from his chair, weakly shaking his hand. "H-hey."

"Why don't you two have a seat and I'll fetch the chow, huh?" Matt said happily, a hand on Dan's shoulder.

"Oh, I'll help!" Billy forcibly stated, rushing into the kitchen.

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Ok..."

In the kitchen, Billy was nervously wringing his hands around a hot pad as Matt entered. "Are you a queer?" he blurted out, regretting it in an instant.

Matt set down the crockery he had set to take in. "I am Billy. Does that make you uncomfortable?"

Billy twisted the hot pad back and forth in his hands, "I... – I don't know. It's like..." He was struggling, his nose scrunching and his eyes watering up. "You're... you're not supposed to."

Uncle Matt ripped a paper towel off the rack and handed it to Billy. "It's okay tough guy, you don't gotta figure it all out right now. If you wanna have dinner in your room you can."

Billy shook his head, blowing his nose loudly. "But you made all this, and... you're real nice, and... –"

"... a damned queer." Matt added with a deadpan delivery. "Just don't tell your father, he'd have a heart attack."

Billy laughed.

"Now c'mon. Chow's gettin' cold."

[sisterdaniel]

hi gay people on my phone i’m doing the time machine meet up!!

my internet name is just T :) she/her :)

on the left you will see 16 year old me in 2013, looking absolutely Busted in that lame asf doctor who tee… that was right around when i got into dnp 🥰 i was still wholly under the impression that i was straight but i was mysteriously drawn to the lgbt community (speak valentina!)… ok girly!

and now 11 years later i have a whole ass doctorate in music and im like a real adult now. and not afraid to be queer 🌈 i do still talk about dan and phil with people i met on the internet tho. slayyy