#ass talks

[assreveal]

to this day i find myself completely dumbfounded by “hey buddy you in london”. why did international heartthrob nick jonas specifically ask dan if he was in london? why did he remember this one dude he met on a stage in october 2014 6 months later? what did we want to do? does he not know anyone else in london? and why ask so publicly instead of a DM?

[twinliches]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[thebabygronckle]

hey so i Fully Believe that telemachus was not afraid of odysseus in Hold Them Down

people may have told him stories of Odysseus, King of Ithaca, Athena's chosen Champion, Hero of Troy

but mama's boy telemachus sat by her feet as she wove tapestry after tapestry; and penelope told her little wolf stories of his father

how they met, how he tripped over himself to woo her, how he cried his eyes out when penelope became pregnant, how telemachus wouldn't sleep in his cot as a baby because he was so used to being in his father's arms because odysseus would not put him down; and yes, how viciously he defended their family when the atrides came to retrieve him for the war

telemachus? the child of the Unhinged Power Couple? who knew very well how horrible those suitors were, how they treated him and spoke of his mother?

took one look at his dad viciously protecting their home, their family, and thought he was the coolest, strongest person ever (after mom ofc)

[miss-anaa]

[teaboot]

The idea that bodymod of all kinds from piercings and tattoos to gender-affirming care and amputations "goes against God's design" is such a fragile fucking take imo.

Like. Fuck, Brendine, you don't cut the moldy bit off a block of cheese? You don't spit out the bones when you eat fish? Do you never bake bread or cook food or chop off your hair? You just crawl around in a fig leaf bikini eating pine cones off the ground and shit in a hole?

Eve ate the apple already hon we ain't gonna undo that shit dressing like we're Children of the Corn

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[pinkravat-art]

"breakfast" a tma s5 animation thing

audio on:333

dawg can't even fry me an egg in this eyeconomy

[VD: A Magnus Archives animation done in orange and teal titled "Pusryčiai" (meaning: "breakfast"). Mellow music plays as Martin cracks two eggs into a frying pan. He turns away to throw the shells while the pan sizzles, and when he returns with a spatula, a "boom" sound effect plays as Martin recoils with comic disgust.

The egg yolks have been replaced by human eyeballs. Martin stares at them for a moment. He then pokes at the egg with the spatula, producing a squelching sound, and one of the eyes blinks with another gross wet sound. Martin goes from disgusted to comically sad and disappointed, and he fades away before the setting does. The video ends on the words "darė Skaistė" (meaning: made by Skaistė) and a quick shot of an eyeball. End VD]

ty @princess-of-purple-prose for the description, i edited it a bit too.

[malevolencc]

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[lovelydeps]

Most informative danandphil video ever

[assreveal]

matching eyebrow slits killing myself

[blueskittlesart]

may have spent slightly too long in eow link's house today. im obsessed with him

[sexygaywizard]

Olympic shooters lowkey serving kunt

[caruliaa]

does anyone else remember when glados was like btw get out my facility its too hard to kill you so just leave. then she immediately puts u in a situation where it wld be very easy to kill u but instead u have a song sung to you that she wrote abt u being her precious darling beloved babygirl then after u left gave u back the one thing u had any attachment to in the facility that just so happens to have a heart on it. gay ass.

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever