#ass talks

[assreveal]

to this day i find myself completely dumbfounded by “hey buddy you in london”. why did international heartthrob nick jonas specifically ask dan if he was in london? why did he remember this one dude he met on a stage in october 2014 6 months later? what did we want to do? does he not know anyone else in london? and why ask so publicly instead of a DM?

[twinliches]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[teaboot]

The idea that bodymod of all kinds from piercings and tattoos to gender-affirming care and amputations "goes against God's design" is such a fragile fucking take imo.

Like. Fuck, Brendine, you don't cut the moldy bit off a block of cheese? You don't spit out the bones when you eat fish? Do you never bake bread or cook food or chop off your hair? You just crawl around in a fig leaf bikini eating pine cones off the ground and shit in a hole?

Eve ate the apple already hon we ain't gonna undo that shit dressing like we're Children of the Corn

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[pinkravat-art]

"breakfast" a tma s5 animation thing

audio on:333

dawg can't even fry me an egg in this eyeconomy

[VD: A Magnus Archives animation done in orange and teal titled "Pusryčiai" (meaning: "breakfast"). Mellow music plays as Martin cracks two eggs into a frying pan. He turns away to throw the shells while the pan sizzles, and when he returns with a spatula, a "boom" sound effect plays as Martin recoils with comic disgust.

The egg yolks have been replaced by human eyeballs. Martin stares at them for a moment. He then pokes at the egg with the spatula, producing a squelching sound, and one of the eyes blinks with another gross wet sound. Martin goes from disgusted to comically sad and disappointed, and he fades away before the setting does. The video ends on the words "darė Skaistė" (meaning: made by Skaistė) and a quick shot of an eyeball. End VD]

ty @princess-of-purple-prose for the description, i edited it a bit too.

[malevolencc]

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[miss-anaa]

[blueskittlesart]

may have spent slightly too long in eow link's house today. im obsessed with him

[sexygaywizard]

Olympic shooters lowkey serving kunt

[assreveal]

matching eyebrow slits killing myself

[lovelydeps]

Most informative danandphil video ever

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever

[ghostlyeris]

evan kelmp, number one sam black stan

[thestarfishface]

“There is no platonic explanation for thi-“ Sprays u with water. Sprays u