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#wow you can just talk to yourself in the tags forever and no one will even know huh
me-beef · 16 days
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@strangeravatar made a great point
i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make
but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do
ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad
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unitedhamilton · 3 months
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Five and One
Summary: five times you were Lewis' comments and the one time he was in yours.
A/N: this is my first time doing a smau! I had so much fun making this. Enjoy lovelies 💜
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Liked by ynusername, trentarnold66, and 808,211 others
lewishamilton Next stop, Imola 🚀
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user1 nice pic 🔥
user2 nice 😍😍😍
user3 champion
user4 8 time user5 SAY IT LOUDER
ynusername put me in the trunk and drive away with me PLEASE 🙏🤤
ynbestfriend this is your public account girlfriend ynusername and? I hope Lewis sees my comment user6 he doesn't want you ynusername he always wants me
masonmount shoe game goes hard
user9 give me a pair of your boots 🤲🏻
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Liked by pierregasly, ynusername, and 815,441 others
lewishamilton Our time here on this planet is so short.
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ynusername our time is so short so spend it with me please
user10 you beautiful man! 💜
ynusername SHOW THE FULL PIC
ynusername 💦💦🌊🌊
ynbestfriend what are these supposed to represent? ynusername water...obviously
user15 Ur literal job is burning fuel and rubber. Hy. po. crite
user16 shut up
roscoelovescoco go dads! you rocks!
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lewishamilton Thankful for this time I've had off but now it's go time!
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user1 this this this 🙌
ynusername i could climb you
ynbestfriend GIRL GET OUT OF HIS COMMENTS. TALK TO HIM user17 what do you mean by this? 🤨🎤
ynusername let me sit in your lap 🧎‍♀️
ynusername begging to be that soda can 🙏
user18 aren't we all 🙄 user19 get in line
user3 Ginger Ale...? ....RIGHT 😎
wroetoshaw common Lewis W
user39 bro came out of retirement to comment on a Lewis post
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lewishamilton It's a dream.
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ynusername DON'T BUTTON THE SHIRT
ynusername UNBUTTON IT user5 did you just reply to yourself? ynusername maybe? don't judge me
user7 I totally dig your style!! Hawt! ❤️‍🔥
ynbestfriend i don't think @ ynusername is alive. it was nice knowing you
ynusername i've died but come back but i'm dying again user25 literally me
user17 are you grey?
fencer my bestie
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lewishamilton New week, new possibilities 🙌🏾
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ynusername i'm literally speechless
user16 wow
user8 nice 👌👌👌
ynusername i have no words
ynbestfriend for once?!?!?!? he's killed you
ynusername I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO SAY AND I CAN'T 😭
user4 daddy
ynusername simple, but effective
user15 i need that shirt
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Liked by lewishamilton, serenawilliams, and 2,387,102 others
ynusername i may be in his comments but he's forever in my heart 💜
tagged lewishamilton
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lewishamilton my love ❤️
ynbestfriend YAY BESTIE THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A HARD SECRET TO KEEP ❤️
serenawilliams congrats 🎉
user29 THIS WHOLE TIME??
user13 we need the timeline asap 🤲🏻 user2 her besties comment had me 🤨 one day
kingjames my brother! congrats!
marcusrashford champ on and off the track @ lewishamilton
user4 why can't it have been me 🫠
user1 grow up user4 IT WAS A JOKE
mercedesamgf1 much love to Roscoe's new mom! 🐶💜
ynbestfriend so... when is project hamilton happening with a baby?
ynusername RELAX lewishamilton soon ynusername BRO????
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jjenthusee · 2 months
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Handshakes And Trash Cans
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
a/n: simply, i wrote a lot and i didn’t wanna release it in parts, so i squeezed the entire fic here. I’ve been having fun writing small excerpts and then they turn into full fics. Jason deserves all the love, so i focused on a neighbors to lovers? No mention of vigilante stuff, but tons of domesticity. With some mentions of big brother Dick (i’m a firm believer that he’s the number one supporter of Jason and just wants the best for him), a bit of steaminess if u squint, and a very devoted Jason. leave me any comments if your comfortable sharing because i wanna know what u guys think XD and if you were crying screaming sliding down the wall like i was (also despite me still being in my repenting era, i wanted to release this as an early apology cause i wanna write another angsty drabble so maybe…maybe not look forward to that) ENJOY (link to the work before this one here)
word count: 7.1k
tags: pining, tons of fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, heartfelt confessions, big brother dick shenanigans
When you got your first two-bedroom apartment, you always thought the dream would only be possible with a roommate. You didn’t have much money during college and transitioning into a full-time job didn’t allow you to freely spend outside of necessities and rent.
But you did it. You got two bedrooms and you didn’t initially know what to do with the extra room. A hobby space, a library, a guest room, or an office? There were too many possibilities.
This was your space, so you combined it all. A basket to keep all of your current craft obsessions next to a bean bag, two full shelves of books from your childhood to your university years, and a desk in the corner to write. It was everything you hoped for. A spot to leave work out of, to decompress and remember the things that made you happy.
You were proud you did it on your own. You could enjoy solitude, your hard work and give time to prioritize yourself.
But an unexpected accomplishment came with an unexpected visitor. A handsome visitor no less. Maybe being an adult wasn’t so bad all the time.
But meeting new people was bad. Or you were bad at it.
When you were up at two in the morning, doing normal two a.m. activities like trying to turn your entire life around, you believed that dragging yourself to one of the community events at the apartment complex would help you get to know your neighbors. Then you could scope the scene to see if you wanted to hide forever or maybe have a friendly acquaintance you acknowledged in the hallway.
Now you wanted neither as you sat, alone, at a bar stool in the well decorated community balcony. Although you were distancing yourself from the main party, you couldn’t help admiring the string lights they hung up, the pristine décor, and new furniture. They clearly went through a grand renovation before you moved in.
Despite your need to socially decompress from all the small talk, you did feel mellow in the warm lighting, listening to the slow music you quietly hummed to.
The view was great from your table, you got to see from the edge of the balcony into the city view. Gotham City did have its moments and lots of outsiders tend to see all the bad that overruns it, but when the city is calm, it has its own virtue.
As you watched the sky line, a man also decided to join in, admiring the city lights. He stood farther from where you sat, leaning against the glass and steel railing. He was probably distancing himself from the party like you were. You could only see half of his face from your current angle and distance, but he was…charming. Broody and charming.
Gotham did have the best views, but staring was bad. A little bit of hope crept into your mind at the thought of a handsome neighbor living in the same apartment building.
Another pretty man joined him. Wow, you never realized that Gotham had a lot of great views. Maybe you needed to get out more, enjoy the scenery a bit.
The two beautiful men seemed to know each other. One more talkative than the other, but they seemed close. It was amusing watching the way they contrasted one another, a man clearly dragged to be here tonight and the other fueling himself with the night vibe.
As much as you wanted to continue to be nosy, maybe it was time to call it a night, it was late and you got enough of your pretty boy fill for the evening. Which would have been the plan if you didn’t make eye contact with the second model that blessed your eyes.
You nervously observed the charismatic man walking toward you with a bright friendly smile.
“Hello, I just wanted to ask if my brother—the tall very alone one standing over there—could be tall and very alone over here, in this seat.” He dragged the stool out from underneath the glass table you were resting your arms on.
You looked at the empty seat across from you, then glanced at his presumed brother you were staring at earlier. He clearly didn’t agree to this sudden turn of events as he watched the two of you talk and he looked more mortified than you were. It was…cute. It brought a smile to your face.
“Well, your tall and very alone brother looks scared of me.” You glanced back to the man still holding the chair out.
Your comment must have been hysterical at the way the man was almost leaning forward from laughing. His dimples fully visible and his hair falling forward. Everything he did looked stunning.
“I promise he’s friendlier than he looks.” He breathlessly held his stomach still amused at your first impression of his broody brother. “He’s tall, alone, and friendly if it helps.”
You thought for a moment, debating on your options: leave or sit with a handsome man in possibly awkward silence.
“I don’t mind being alone together.” You smiled more, giving into the curiosity of the man leaning against the railing.
You were a simple human and apparently the man in front of you was too when he ushered his brother over. A man much too large for the bar stool, but you got a good look at his full face.
The curls, defined dark eyebrows, a white streak. His face had definition, a particular beauty that differed from his brother. Not less beautiful, but you were more drawn to the rougher look.
You definitely made the right choice.
Before you had any time to say anything, the conspirator left to go mingle with another bunch of attendees. You watched him hop from one conversation to another, you didn’t know whether he knew them or he just met them like you had five seconds ago.
“I think social anxiety is scared of him.” You laughed in disbelief to your new companion.
“Trust me, you have no idea. I’ve seen him wear some of the most horrendous outfits in public, willingly. What’s worse is—I hate to admit it—but he can pull it off, in a horrifying way.” The stranger shook his head, no mortification in his voice, and you almost unconsciously lulled to the sound. “But he means well, uh, sorry he dragged you into whatever he’s planning. I could leave you alone, he tends to unintentionally be pushy.”
Oh? Broody, charming and thoughtful. Was the bar low or were you easily impressed? Maybe the husky voice is blurring the distinction.
“No, it’s okay, he seemed worried about both us being ‘very alone’ as he put it.” You spoke, glancing into the eyes of the man in front of you. Greenish blue. A wave of amusement washed over you and with the most serious expression you could muster, you decided to test the waters. “From one alone person to another, let’s be alone together.” You reached out your hand to introduce yourself.
He coyly smiled at your formal gesture, leaning in to mimic your movement. You were both leaning onto the glass table, close enough to see the slight scaring on his face. Faint enough to see them only if you were close enough, wanting to drag your thumb across them.
His warm hand engulfed yours. Calloused. A firm handshake.
“Jason, alone man, and been alone for twenty-one years.” Jason gave you the most breathtaking smile, never letting go of your hand. “I’m looking forward to this opportunity…alone, of course.”
You laughed, almost giggled from how charming this man was.
“It’s been twenty-three alone years and still counting.” You mischievously smirked, glad he joined in on your antics. “I’m glad to let you join the team. I expect great things from you.”
“And I hope to learn a lot from my superiors, I’ll be in your care.” Jason’s voice was so low at the end of his statement. It caught you off guard that you almost missed the way he held onto your hand just a tiny bit longer than you anticipated. So short that you felt like you imagined it.
The warmth still lingered on your hands after you let go.
You were so engrossed in Jason’s company and Jason only had the eyes to look at you, that neither of you could see the man, who schemed your interaction, was beaming from watching the connection spark.
That single handshake and nonchalant agreement that you shared with an unknown neighbor actually kept it’s promise. That evening, you found out that Jason lived on the same floor as you did, that his brother visited him a lot, and he took out the trash on Wednesdays.
He didn’t tell you the last one, but you found out the last bit of information by accident when you bumped into him on your way back from the trash room. You thought the evening you met Jason would be the first and last time you would see him, but your laziness prevented you from taking out the garbage on your designated day and you were graced with seeing his lopsided smile as you passed him in the hallway.
You were so giddy from the surprise and seeing Jason’s captivating smile, you tested your luck and took the trash out on the same day and time the following week.
You listened out in the hallway, trying to hear a door open, it was honestly crazy behavior, but you continued your slow pace, but with no tall alone man in sight and a defeated sigh, you walked to the trash room with no Jason by your side and swung the door open.
Like a beam of light cascading over you, the man in question was standing in front of you, opening the trash shoot. You never thought a man in a trash room would be sexy, but with his shirt tightly straining on his body, a flushed face, and his muscles eye level with you, anything was possible.
May whoever told this gorgeous man to live at this apartment complex eat delicious meals, have working phone chargers, and a lifetime of happiness.
Somewhere off in the far distance, Dick sneezed.
You almost forgot the reason you were in the trash room after you set your eyes on Jason’s post-workout state. He kept the shoot open for you and with unsteady steps you threw your trash bag to disappear to the unknown. You were trying to not trip up with Jason’s defined arm holding the handle open and the close proximity of his chest to your face.
Maybe you need to go on a run. Why were you acting like this right now?
“Hey, neighbor.” Jason casually spoke to you. His voice felt airy, probably winding down from the exercise. “You come around here often?”
You cleared your mind from any thoughts, the trash room was not the place to start flirting, but what were you supposed to do when Jason started it? Or what you assumed to be flirtatious conversation.
“Nah, I’m new to town.” You glanced over to him, leaning your neck back to grasp his full height. Jason hadn’t missed the movement, combing your collarbone with his gaze. “But, I might stay a while.” You melodically spoke.
Before your stare and voice settled in the air, you stepped to the side to add a little distance between the two of you. Pulling away from the tension.
“Just so I can continue my alone things.” You explained trying to smoothen the mood with a playful tone.
Jason stayed quiet like he was contemplating something in his mind. Then he let the trash shoot close and with small steps the both of you walked out into the hallway.
“What alone things do you have planned tomorrow?” Jason nonchalantly asked, so casually you almost thought you heard wrong.
“Uh, work in the morning, but nothing planned for the evening, I wanted to try out a new cookie recipe.”
“Do you wanna come over to my place—I wanted to cook something for dinner, but it just hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe you can bring those cookies?” Jason didn’t look at you, suddenly interested in the pure white walls of the hallway. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
You were stunned. How was such a beautiful man asking you to come over to his place with the promise of him cooking you dinner and all you had to do was bring your shitty cookies?
“I want to warn you that my cookies aren’t award worthy. I just follow the recipe, they’re nothing special.” You wanted to ensure that Jason was really inviting you over.
“Then I can’t wait to try your ‘nothing special’ cookies.” He reassured.
You spent the entire afternoon making sure your measurements were precise, not a lump of flour above the rim of the measuring utensils you haven’t brought out in a while. Usually you winged the ingredients, not really worried about the quality too much since it was just you.
But now you wanted to cry.
How did you properly fold ingredients, were you whisking right, maybe you should’ve got the too expensive butter from the store?
It took three full hours to prep, bake, and try your hand at cutely packaging the cookies. It took four attempts to arrange the cookies in a way that didn’t make you want to cancel the dinner.
But after a few pep talks in the mirror and reassuring yourself that this was a hang out and not a date, then you were able to walk over to his unit number.
You hesitantly knocked on the door, five minutes after seven because you would torture yourself thinking about arriving right on the dot before you fell asleep tonight and every night after.
Your worries left your mind when you saw Jason open the door in an apron.
“You’re just in time, I’m ready to plate everything.” He beamed.
Your heart might not be able to survive tonight. But it was just dinner.
You awkwardly handed Jason your tin of homemade cookies. You tried to limit your snooping around his apartment when he told you to wait for him to get the drinks, but curiosity was coursing through you once you realized that you were being invited into a part of Jason’s life and home.
You were no longer going to be strangers. You didn’t know if this qualified to make you friends, but you knew you were two people about to eat dinner together. A dinner he made and cookies you made as thanks.
Once you were ready to eat, you stared at your plate filled with spices, fresh veggies, a meticulously cooked entrée and a…homemade lemonade? You stared up at Jason, watching you look at his food.
“I feel like bringing you cookies isn’t enough.” Although you felt guilty, you took a bite because you didn’t want to look at one more second of Jason’s shining eyes.
You could only sigh, which made Jason worry.
“I think I’m going to name my children after you.”
Jason chuckled at your exaggeration.
“I’d be honored.”
The rest of the meal was relaxing. You didn’t have to force yourself around Jason. Your conversation flowed easily and you were interested in learning about the man you met on the balcony.
After many trips to the other side of the apartment building and a couple of deep cleanings of your apartment, you got accustomed to having Jason walk around your kitchen, rummaging the cabinets and organizing your spices the way he likes it.
One shared meal after another. Sometimes several times a week or spaced out further when work got busy. It was nice to look forward to a meal with Jason.
Now you had text messages from him on your phone, a designated mug for him, and a couple of his snacks that he wanted you to try.
You traded recipes. Jason gave you his favorites and you mainly just gave him ones you were curious about, not very fond of your kitchen.
After several failed attempts at convincing him that it was your kitchen that was the problem and not your ability to cook, he came over more to prove you wrong.
Now you sat at your kitchen island to watch him concentrate on mixing an assortment of spices and herbs while you memorized as much of his face and hands as possible. The TV was on, but you had no interest in whatever movie played.
“I have a confession to make.” You sadly looked at Jason.
He glanced over from the pan on the stove to your face. Confusion in his eyes from your sudden change in tone.
“I actually don’t really like cookies.” You threw your hands up in a guilty pose. “Now it’s eating me inside that I had to give those to you when I first came over to your place.”
Jason hummed and tilted his head with one of his eyebrows raised in a teasing manner.
“So, the guilt finally got to you, huh?” He grinned moving his attention back to the food cooking in front of him. His nonchalant voice resonating around you.
“I can’t sleep at night anymore.” You exaggerated, walking a little closer to his side. “Well, once you became my personal chef I realized I had to make it up to you.” You could smell the food better now that you were standing next to Jason.
“I can see the guilt in your eyes.” He flatly said watching you eyeing the food.
“We always eat when we hang out and I can make simple foods, but if I can follow a recipe I was going to suggest if I should cook something, but you are also here to prove me wrong that my kitchen isn’t cursed. Which it is by the way—”
“Your kitchen is not cursed.” He warmly scolded you. “I’ll come over everyday to prove it if I have to.”
You always had to reset your brain when he used that tone with you. It just felt too…sincere. Too intimate.
You wanted him to come over everyday. You took a breath.
“I make more money than when I was still in college, but I don’t think I can afford that many grocery bills.” You teased him. “Why do you think I go over to your place?”
You wanted to evade any serious topics and humor was the best at evading. You were good at avoidance.
“So, I’m a free pantry to you?” His eyebrows rose, questioning you. “I knew you were using me!” He faked a flabbergasted voice like he just heard his life-long partner declare they were cheating on him for months.
He turned off the stove, covering the pan with the lid and turning to face you.
“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened.” You gave him your best dejected look. “I promise I’ll pick up more shifts to help restock your fridge, but let me just taste your homemade ravioli one last time.” You begged as he moved closer to you, closing you in with the kitchen island behind your back.
His height and broad shoulders easily caved you in. You gulped watching his face lean down and inch closer.
“If I can’t trust you with my fridge, you don’t deserve my ravioli.” He lowered his voice, gazing down at you with a look that made you breathless. You couldn’t move with the counter behind you and Jason hovering dangerously close to you. “But, you can make it up to me.” He brought his thumb to your chin, barely a wisp of touch.
“How?” You stammered, wondering if the bit was still going.
“Let’s go to the farmer’s market tomorrow.” His hand moved from your face to the edge of the counter, close enough to touch your side and his voice returning to normal, but he didn’t pull away.
“Okay, uh, I’m off tomorrow.” You stared, darting your eyes between Jason’s eyes. Trying to adjust to the tension that was radiating off of him.
“Good, foods ready.” Jason pulled away, moving to the cabinet to grab your glass plates. He was too familiar with the layout of your kitchen.
That night you quickly learned how easy Jason was able to turn the tables. Your racing heart and shallow breathing were the only evidence of it ever happening.
The heat beat down on you. Of all days for Gotham to finally clear it’s clouds, it chose today.
Although you weren’t fond of the warm air, you liked watching all the colorful tents, the food on display, and seeing the various local products. Everything looked intricately cared for and it brought a proud feeling to contribute to the locals.
“Bags?” Jason asked, going through his mental checklist.
“Check.” You raised the reusable grocery bags in your hands.
“Hats?”
“Check.” You nudged the baseball cap on your head.
“Money?” Jason smirked.
You grabbed onto Jason’s bicep. Giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Check.” You grinned up at Jason looking at the placement of your hand. “Now let’s go!” You gleefully led him to the first tent with your hand still on him.
You had no idea how you ended up carrying all the bags, but you were trying to ease your mind that this could be considered a date. Jason didn’t call it that and you never asked to clarify, but you couldn’t help it itching at your brain.
You didn’t want to label anything, out of respect for Jason and what he wanted, but you noticed he had started to touch you more and the contact makes you giddy that you had to put all of your focus on making sure you don’t drop his produce.
You stood by Jason, looking at various jars of loose leaf tea. He was smelling all the aromas, helping to move the jars to your nose, so you could smell them too. He insisted on helping you since you refused to give him a bag, but you also didn’t have a free hand to grab the jar.
After a couple more sniff tests, he settled on a jar of prickly pear tea, a lemon-ginger flavor, and he was contemplating on some earl grey cookies. You were watching him, entranced by his concentration. His brows lowered, a small line appearing between his brows. You could see more of his face with a cap on, no messy curls on his forehead and his side profile was really something.
You broke out of your trance when he offered you a piece of the earl-grey cookie, holding it in front of your mouth.
“They’re free samples, try it.” He looked at you, waiting patiently. “I know you don’t like cookies, but these are made with the tea sold here. I saw all the tea you keep in your pantry, so I think you would like it.”
In your lost state at this man in front of you, that could’ve sounded like a proposal to you at that point.
You inched forward, opening your mouth for the cookie. You hesitated at the intimacy, but how could you tell that face ‘no.’ Staring at the small piece of cookie, baked a quarter of the original size they sold, you also saw all the scars that littered Jason’s hands. Many healed over, but you could see the faded lines.
You dangerously wanted to kiss each one.
You grabbed the piece in your mouth, but you didn’t realize that you accidentally touched Jason’s finger with your lip.
You quickly glanced at Jason, but his eyes were glossed over. His attention focused on your mouth.
What a sight.
You chewed and hummed. They were good. Jason cleared his throat at your approval.
“I’ll get a bag and the tea. I’ll be back. You can put the bags down for a bit because there’s a small line.” He quickly turned around, a small tinge of redness left on his ears with his head turned away from you.
You watched his back walk away, then settled the bags down to give your arms a break.
“Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you two are adorable.” A honeyed voice spoke trying to grab your attention.
Your head whipped back to the table of teas. An older lady restocking the various collection had a mischievous look in her eye. You hadn’t noticed her there at all.
“The way your boyfriend looks at you, I haven’t seen a look like that since my husband passed many years ago.” The lady gushed.
“Wha, no, I—“ You stammered, trying to clear up the confusion, but your flustered face must’ve amused the woman.
“That made my day, so I wanted to give you this lemon bar we just started selling. Go on, take it and share it with him.” She pressured you to take the free treat. You were too speechless to try to refuse it and insist that you pay before she placed it in your hand herself and she walked off to help another customer wanting a sample.
Your face felt hot and you hoped it cleared before Jason came back, but before you could fan the redness away he appeared next to you with his purchase.
“Hey, you okay? Where’d you get that lemon—”
“Let’s get some lunch!” You grabbed the bags and nudged him to the food trucks lining the edge of the market, trying to hide your face with your hat and leaving the comments from the woman behind.
“Wow, this might be the best empanada I’ve ever had.” You chomped at your lunch.
Jason found a waffle place and settled on a berry topping. It was wrapped perfectly to fit in his hands.
You sat across from Jason at an outdoor table with an umbrella to shield you from the sun, sitting away from the rush of people lining up to also eat. The midday lunch rush got to you and you wanted to have a bit of privacy before you went back home.
“How long have you known about this place?” You asked Jason, a slight breeze grazing your face. Watching a kid nudging his dad for a piece of banana bread he found on one of the vendor’s tables.
“Last year? It was recent, but I’ve heard it’s been around for a while. Maybe over five years?” Jason took a bite of his waffle.
“I wish I had found this during my university years. This is a bit out of the way of my walk route, but it would’ve been awesome to browse with my friend.” You saw the boy you were watching earlier smiling wide as he held his dad’s hand and the banana loaf as big as his head. You smiled at the interaction.
“But I probably would’ve sent my friend into shock.” You continued, the boy and his dad disappearing into the crowd. “I wasn’t very social during my university years.” You glanced at Jason, his waffle gone and he was neatly folding the wrapper.
“My friend would joke that I would only meet someone if they magically met me at home. Like that was the only way I could score a date.” You pitifully joked at the old memory. “Sounds absurd doesn’t it, but she wasn’t wrong—“
You saw a shift in Jason’s eyes. He had an oddly serious look, it stopped you from talking and you sat up straighter, wondering what he was thinking about.
You waited, watching him internally fight with whatever he wanted to say.
“That’s not true.” He hesitated. “You’re funny, you’re able to connect with others, you’re a great listener, and you’re honest. You don’t have the heart to be mean to others and your facial expressions are adorable.” His voice rose the longer he defended you. His serious expression further amplified with his furrowed eyebrows. A part of his face obscured by his cap, but you felt the raw emotion emanating from him.
“Anyone would be enamored with you, even if they met you in the hallway or walking down the street.” He puffed, crushing the waffle paper on the table.
You were surprised, glancing over at Jason, watching him get this frustrated. You realized you’ve never seen him this…emotional and he refused to look at you.
The sudden development and his clear thoughts about you stunned you. You joked with Jason how alone you both were, it even brought you together thanks to his brother, but you didn’t really know how alone he truly was. You don’t think he really understood how lonely you were too.
You enjoyed your shared meals, you craved his time and attention.
You got so used to his presence that the days you didn’t see him, you felt like you were dreaming. Waiting to wake up when you heard that familiar knock on your door.
Your heart raced and you hoped he cherished your time together like you did.
You didn’t want to assume his witty personality as being flirtatious, you didn’t want to misunderstand any of his intentions because he was funny, charming, and awkward in ways that you just wanted to grab his face and protect him.
You didn’t particularly need Jason as your person, that felt too selfish, but you also wanted to be somebody to him. Either next to him or from a distance.
A friend, a companion, a lover. The label didn’t really matter to you because you were open to any role. A lover wasn’t more significant than a friend would be. They both had the same foundation, to care for someone unconditionally.
You convinced yourself that you were happy alone, but not until recently you realized you weren’t living. You were asleep in the routine of life.
And when Jason entered your life, you felt like you woke up for the first time.
Like he was the only one who could wake you up.
All you knew was that you wanted to be there. Through his pain, his suffering, his happiest moments, his accomplishments, his anger. To be his person.
To also help him wake up.
Your silent contemplation made Jason panic.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get worked up—“
“I think apartment community events count.” You softly whispered, indecisive of whether you wanted him to hear you or not.
“What—“
“And secret meetings in the trash room too.” Your voice meek.
You were shaking, too tense to look at his reaction to your words.
“Despite what she told me, I still managed to meet you. And I was able to have some of the best meals. I’ve never laughed as hard as I have when we joked. I’m able to try new things.” You raised your head, overwhelmed by your feelings, but you hoped to convey yourself properly to Jason. “I’ve never felt so comfortable and safe with anyone else.”
Jason looked at you wide eyed and speechless, his mouth slightly agape. You took the disbelief as a sign to continue.
“I’m able to be all those things that you said because I’m with you.” Your voice filled with more resolve the more concrete your feelings felt, the more sure you became. You squeezed your eyebrows together, complete sincerity in your gaze, your heart filled with so much emotion.
But your eyebrows relaxed once you saw Jason’s face turn red. His ears a crimson shade. Before you could engrave it in your memory, he tilted his head down, covering his face with the front of his baseball cap.
“Wait, wait, wait—I didn’t expect this.” Jason rubbed a hand down his face, but the redness contrasted the skin of his hand. “You were so shy every time I tried to push the boundaries between us, but now your directly confessing everything at once.”
He stopped rubbing his face and rested his hand on the table. Meeting your gaze, a tint of red still on his skin but not as deep as before.
“I’ve been trying to get closer to you. I’ve been hoping to run into you since we first talked on the balcony. When we met in the trash room, I purposely tried to meet you again. I’ve looked forward to every meal I’ve cooked for you and although I haven’t been clear about my feelings, I didn’t want to pressure or rush you.” Jason took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment.
When they opened again, his eyes were completely focused on you.
“I want us to be more than friends…I want to be able to come over when I miss you, fold laundry together, buy you things when they remind me of you, I want you to call me when you need car maintenance.” He kept his eyes trained on you, but his voice faltered. “I want to hold your hand and to kiss you. I want us to go on dates.”
You raised your hand to the table, placing your hand over Jason’s, but he quickly flipped your hands so he was holding yours a little more firmly.
“I want to know if you snore while you sleep, to have your things at my place, so I see you in every inch of my life. I want you to know how much I’ve fallen for you.”
“I want that too.” Your voice trembled. “I’ve been wanting to hold your hand while we walked today and I want you to come over more often.” You choked as Jason leaned in to caress your face with his hand. A sickening sweet touch that you never knew you would get to feel. You cupped your hand over his.
“I’m so happy. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.” Jason whispered to you, his voice so honey sweet.
You looked up to him. A gentle gaze reflecting back.
“I probably look like a mess right now.” You shakily laughed.
“Of course not, you’re breathtaking, sweetheart.” Jason rubbed a thumb on your cheek, completely enamored by you.
“As much as I would love to hear you continue, I’m worried about the stuff you bought and this heat.” You tried to focus, but the smooth touch of Jason was difficult to ignore.
“Yeah, we probably need to make our way back.”
Despite his words, he didn’t move. He lingered on your face a while longer before he looked at all the bags he accumulated this morning.
“Will you let me help you carry some of the bags?” He asked. “I also want to hold your hand on the way back.”
You beamed at him. Reaching for his hand as you stood up.
Your walk back was refreshing.
You were exhausted from the intense flux of emotions you released, but Jason’s grip on your hand stabilized you.
You couldn’t stop smiling, the heat no longer bothering you. You swung your interlaced hands to the motion of your steps and Jason let you do what you wanted as long as you still held on.
When you got to the entrance of your apartment building, you were graced with the AC hitting you. Your hair would definitely be messed up from the sweat and your cap.
You waited in front of the elevator doors as it descended from the last person that used it. The lobby was empty, except from the usual leasing office workers inhabiting the space, but it was just you and Jason off to the side.
As you glanced around, making sure the employees were occupied, you used your grip on Jason’s hand to pull him down enough for you to kiss his cheek. A little awkward with your cap in the way, but you were able to surprise Jason.
He stayed hunched forward, shifting his face to look at you closely and digest what you did.
Ding. The elevator doors opened and you pulled Jason in the elevator.
You felt accomplished as you pushed the button to your floor. When you moved back to Jason’s side, you looked up to him, but he grabbed your face.
His hand pushed your cap up, so he could lean in and kiss you. His hat also moving up at the angle he was in.
You closed your eyes, disoriented at the feeling and because Jason completely blocked your view of the elevator, so you only heard the doors close.
Lost in the feeling and the movement of his lips, you dropped the bags in your hand to grab at Jason’s sleeve, wanting to grasp at something.
You’ve never felt so desperate to get Jason even closer and he must have understood or he craved it more because he pushed you back against the elevator wall. You felt the cold metal against your back and you gasped.
Jason devoured the sound, motivating him to hold your waist, but it wasn’t enough for him. He crouched a little lower to grasp you behind your legs to lift you fully off the ground, inching your body up, higher and more level with his face.
The angle changed and you easily wrapped your arms around his neck while simultaneously wrapping your legs around his waist. The moment intensifying as you pulled at his hair below his hat and you swallowed the low groan that left his mouth. You were drawn to the deep sound and the feeling of the hum you felt on your mouth.
You were practically flush against his body and you were down to your last few breaths, but you didn’t want to pull your face away from Jason.
You nipped at his lower lip and he lifted his hands to cup the sides of your face, digging his fingers into your sweaty hair and rubbing the back of your ears. You opened your mouth wanting to feel more of him when you heard someone loudly clear their throat.
You pulled away, shoving Jason by his shoulders as he whipped his head to see where the voice came from. You fell to your feet trying to lean against the wall with the sudden motion, hair a mess with your cap lopsided as you looked past Jason to see Dick standing there with a hand on his waist and the other holding the elevator door open. He didn’t look at the two of you directly, more like a lost look to the side.
You breathlessly adjusted your cap as you frantically smoothed out your shirt.
Jason pulled his cap down as he sighed then redirected his attention to you, gently reaching out to you to smooth out some of your hair and help you stand up straighter. Then he grabbed the bags you both dropped on the floor as he turned around to face his brother.
“I didn’t know you were coming over. You should’ve texted.” Jason walked past his brother, annoyance laced in his voice.
“I did.” Dick replied. He looked at you then followed after Jason. “But it seems you were a little occupied.” Amusement coating his voice and visible in the way he walked.
“I see you’re getting to know your neighbors very well.” Dick teased, a giant grin on his face. “I’m glad.”
What a way to meet Jason’s brother again after all this time. You wanted the floor to open up and swallow you away from the lack of awareness you had to make out with Jason in public.
You couldn’t decide if it was worse that a stranger could’ve saw you or that Dick was the one who did.
“Yeah, yeah, come inside.” Jason unlocked the door to his apartment. You nervously followed after the two.
“No seriously, I’m glad you two continued to see each other.” A genuine comment from Dick. “I’ve never seen you so comfortable with someone, Jaybird.”
A small hum from Jason as he set the bags down onto the counter.
With no indication that he wanted to speak further, you decided to talk.
“I’m sorry we’re meeting again like this. I promise I’m usually a better influence.” Hopefully your lighthearted tone would give off a better impression than the one on the elevator.
“Ha! I know you are because,” Dick moved in closer, lowering his voice. “This is the most behaved I’ve seen Jason in months.”
“Alright, enough, dickwa—Dick,” Jason cleared his throat. “But we just got back and I want to shower. It was too damn hot today.”
“Oh, I bet it was—“
“Thank you! Never come by again. See you. Good Night.” Jason raised his voice, shoving his brother out the door.
“No, please, I swear I’m done!” Dick pleaded as he was trying to hang onto the door frame, but Jason closed the door before he could start to beg.
“Are you sure he’ll be alright?” You questioned Jason.
He didn’t bother to answer your question as he closed the space between you and wrapped his arms around you, resting his forehead on your shoulder and letting his hands intertwine around your waist, falling onto your lower back.
Jason signed into your shirt. The feeling slightly tickling you.
“I wasn’t done earlier.” He whispered against you. “Then that dickhead had to interrupt.”
You laughed, loving the pouty sound of his voice.
You embraced him back, leaning your head against his.
“I think the elevator interrupted you.” You rubbed his back in soothing circles.
You closed your eyes for a moment, letting a silence fall in Jason’s apartment before your curiosity got to you.
“Jaybird?”
“It’s a nickname.”
“It’s cute.”
“Enough about him, we need to put away all the stuff we bought.” Jason lifted his head to sullenly look at the numerous bags.
“That reminds me.” You let go of him to dig around the bags, trying to find your earlier gift. “I was told to share this with you by an older woman who thought my boyfriend was adorable.”
Jason shifted behind you. Closing his hands on the edges of the counter, both of his arms on your sides. Once you found the lemon bar, you turned your body, careful to lean against the counter with Jason’s body still in front of you, around you practically.
“It’s a new product. She said I could have it for making her day, but I have to thank you because we wouldn’t have gotten it without you.”
You opened the wrapper, breaking a piece off to feed to Jason.
“How does it taste?”
Jason lingered. You anticipated what he thought, but he leaned forward to kiss you. You held onto the lemon bar, but lowered it the more heated your kiss became. The tangy taste invading your mouth.
“Amazing.”
637 notes · View notes
thebigbiwolf · 11 months
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Spittle - Part 2/2 (Astarion/F!Reader)
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Summary: The chocolate seems innocent enough - if you look past the Infernal writing on the wrapper, and with so few pleasures in the wilderness, you all but jump at the chance to sneak yourself a small treat.
Unbeknownst to you, the bar is infused with succubus spittle. Just one square is rumored to contain enough potency to send a mortal into the throes of ecstasy.
This is what happens when you eat half the bar.
Fic Tags: Sex Pollen (kinda), aphrodisiacs, a bit of dom!Astarion, unprotected piv, overstimulation, he talks you through it (iykyk),
Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Language, No use of Y/N, magical influence
Read Part 1: Here
Read on AO3: Here
Word Count: 4k
A/N: Wow. I'll try to make this brief. First of all, I just want to say thank you all so much for your continued support. I know this took me forever to write, but I've been going through a lot of emotional turmoil with school and some health issues with my animals. Your patience means so much to me, and I can only hope this lives up to everyone's expectations! This is my first time writing smut, and ngl I feel a bit like Icarus, so let me know if y'all liked it. Last, but not least, thanks again to my bestie/beta @imaginarydromedary for holding my hand through the shame.
Astarion sits quietly beside the fire, absently picking the dirt from beneath his manicured nails. The night had unfolded like countless others before it: boring, mundane. Uneventful.
Perhaps he should retire early. The Realm According to Bumpo sits patiently atop the desk in his tent, and if he heads to bed now, he could potentially finish a chapter before his watch begins.
He stands, patting the dust off his trousers, just as Shadowheart emerges from your tent. He initially doesn’t pay her any mind - fails to notice the concern etched across her face. 
“Astarion.” 
He snaps to attention, recognizing the fear in her voice.
Astarion’s stomach sinks when their eyes meet. Shadowheart isn’t normally one to succumb to panic, but she looks as though she’s just stumbled out of a wolf’s den.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. She - I’ve never seen…” Shadowheart pauses, taking a steadying breath. “She’s feverish. She was fine only hours ago. I heard a cry from her tent and feared something was amiss. When I found her, she…” The cleric hesitates, eyes contemplative - as if weighing exactly how much she wants to reveal. 
“Out with it, damn it!”
“Is there any chance she’s been poisoned? You two stayed behind, back in the village. Did she come into contact with anything that might have pierced her skin?”
“Poisoned? No, she -” Astarion retraces the events, turning over your brief conversations in his head before landing on the only noteworthy detail he can think of.
He taps a finger on his chin, a thoughtful smile creasing his face. “Unless, of course, the Infernal chocolates didn’t agree with her.”
“I’m sorry, the what?” 
“The chocolate she found at the apothecary. I assumed she hid it away so she could enjoy her little treat, unbothered. There was Infernal text on the wrapper.”
She stares at him with wide eyes, jaw slack with disbelief. “And you didn’t think to mention this earlier?”
Astarion shrugs, unfazed.
“Where’s Wyll?”
He rolls his eyes. “How should I know? I’m not his keeper.”
“Astarion!” 
“Oh, come on. That chocolate must have been at least a decade old. Are you certain this isn’t just some sort of stomach bug?”
The cleric shoves past him, groaning in exasperation. She shoots him a glare and mutters, “I’m certain,” before jogging in the direction of Wyll’s tent. 
“Infused with succubus spittle. Just one bite will have you and that special someone rolling around for hours. Consume responsibly." 
Astarion giggles boyishly. “An aphrodisiac? How fun.”
Wyll squints as he silently reads the next bit to himself, fingers tracing the text. He turns to Shadowheart, jaw tightening, "How much of this did you say she ingested?"
"I only found half the bar."
Wyll’s expression grows more serious. "This says the recommended serving size is one square… How many squares were left?"
“Oh, gods…” she breathes, "Six."
The three exchange silent, worried glances.
“Could she die from this?” Shadowheart asks, her voice trembling with uncertainty.
Wyll’s lips press into a thin line. In truth, he doesn’t know the answer. He could ask Mizora for guidance, but the devil’s been awfully silent after his recent failures. He isn’t sure she'd be willing to answer him, let alone grant any favors. Still, it may be worth a call.
Just as Wyll’s about to suggest it, Astarion heaves a deep, dramatic sigh, throwing his hands up in defeat.
“Alright, I know what we’re all thinking. I’ll take care of this.”
The other two regard each other, thoroughly confused.
“Look," Astarion explains, I may not be well-versed in magic, or magical remedies, for that matter, but now that we know what’s causing this… I think it’s obvious what needs to be done.”
“You’re joking.” Shadowheart laughs, incredulously.  
“No,” he continues, “We can’t just sit here and hope for the best. We need to act quickly, and let's just say, this fits into my... skill set.”
“So, you’re going to, what? Have sex with her? You think she’ll be capable of saying anything but yes, given the state she’s in?”
Astarion shoots her a glare. The mere thought that he’d ever so much as suggest doing something like that - bedding you when you’re too weak to reject him - the very idea of it makes him sick. 
He isn’t that evil. 
“Watch your tongue,” he spits at her, “before I do us all the favor of removing it.”
“Hang on, you two,” Wyll interjects, “Astarion, I think you might have a point. You would know better than anyone whether she’s in a right enough state of mind to… consent to this. You’re closest to her. She trusts you.” 
He turns to Shadowheart, “It’s worth a try.”
Astarion notices two things as he pulls back the flap of your tent.
The first is that it is unseasonably warm. Scorching hot, like summer. A stark contrast from the welcoming cool of the early spring night behind him. 
And second, that the air in the tent is heavy - heady with the scent of sweat and something else he can’t quite identify. It's clouding his senses, making his head swim. The taste of it settles on his tongue, like salt on the rim of an otherwise very sweet drink.
The moonlight at his back casts a dark shadow over your sleeping form. Astarion hesitates for a moment, taking in the sight of you, vulnerable and oblivious to his presence, feeling too much like a wolf looming over a snared rabbit.
You twitch, grimacing in pain. 
He frowns. This wasn’t the way he wanted to go about seducing you. His plan was much more sophisticated: a carafe of wine, a few honeyed words leading to a night of passion, your endless thanks, all culminating in some well-earned release and his assured protection.
A mutual exchange.
But, this?
He’s roused from his thoughts by another grunt, escaping from between your clenched teeth.
Whatever you’re going through, it looks like hell.
Ugh. You know what? Fine. Maybe this isn’t the way he envisioned it, but when has life ever blessed him with a perfect scenario? He’ll offer his… services, and respect whatever answer you give him. If you refuse him now, he can always try again later. Under less perilous circumstances, provided you survive the night.
And if not, well, he's never been one to play the hero, but at least he tried. 
He steps further inside, closing the entrance behind him. The moment he seals the tent shut, there is a palpable shift. The space feels infinitely heavier, laden with unnatural energy, reminiscent of anticipation, but just slightly… off.
He breathes, trying to focus on anything but that intoxicating scent. The haze of it is maddening.
The elf sits on his knees beside you, hands resting in his lap. 
He clears his throat, hoping the sound would be enough to wake you.
There’s no response. 
He whispers your name.
Nothing.
No choice, then.
He drums a finger against your bare arm.
The cleric was right. Your skin is so hot, it borders on scalding.
Finally, you begin to stir.
-
Again. It happened again. 
As soon as you closed your eyes to rest, you saw him - That thing that wore his skin. You felt his hands and mouth as he ravaged you until you fell apart beneath him, above him, wrapped around him, like he was everywhere all at once. 
He was demanding as he took pleasure from you. Ravenous. Mocking your cries, your begging.
The hours stretched into what felt like lifetimes, and you’d nearly given up hope, resigning yourself to the idea that this was your new, endless reality. 
Until suddenly, you hear a voice that pulls you from the dark recesses of your subconscious-- the very voice being used to torture you
Your name, uttered quietly by Astarion. Just Astarion. No second, more sinister layer beneath it.
Your eyelids flutter, then widen as a chilling realization washes over you. 
He’s touching you. The pads of his fingers are both a balm and an irritant, soothing and igniting the flames licking at the corners of your mind.
“You look like you’ve seen better days.” He teases. 
You recoil from his touch, sitting upwards and crawling back away from him. 
He can’t be here. He, of all people, can’t be here.
And yet, something within you is screeching in delight.
'That’s him, isn’t it? The object of your desires? How fun!’
You swallow. Hard. 
“Astarion, I -” 
He holds up a hand, silencing you. “I’m aware.”
“Shadowheart informed us of your… predicament,” he continues, “I can’t help but feel partly responsible, seeing as I was there when you found the chocolate -”
“The chocolate? Is that - wait, what?” 
Shit. Your head is pounding. 
You press your palms against your eyes and groan. 
“I’ll spare you the details, but that chocolate was laced with succubus spittle - a highly potent aphrodisiac - and you, my dear, have consumed enough to bring an entire brothel to its knees.”
Your eyes snap open, meeting his own. There isn’t an ounce of humor in his tone. No sign of his usual mischief.
Gods, he’s being fucking serious.
“Now, as amusing as this might be if it were anyone else, I’d prefer it if our party’s leader made it out of this alive, and that leaves us with a choice."
You gaze at him silently, waiting as the candlelight paints his sharp features in warm hues of amber and honey. 
'He’s quite handsome. I see why you like him.’
“You can ride this out alone,” Astarion explains, “Shadowheart will return with her best salves and more potions for the fever. We’ll hope this passes quickly, but Wyll’s translation suggests the amount you consumed could leave you in this state for up to a week.”
Your stomach churns. You’re going to be sick.
“And the alternative?” you manage to ask.
His hand finds yours, fingers intertwining with your own. Your skin prickles at the contact.
“The alternative is that you let me help you through this. Consider it a repayment, of sorts, for gifting me your blood. I’m somewhat of an expert on… well,” he lets out a humorless laugh, “let’s just say, I’m the best chance you’ve got.”
Maybe it's the blood roaring in your ears, or maybe you’re still dreaming, but it sounds like Astarion is offering to… fuck you?
“I’m sorry, what?”
He groans, visibly frustrated. “Sex, my dear. If the magic is compelling you to have it, I think we should listen.”
‘Handsome and smart.’ 
You hiss, “Would you please shut up?”
Astarion squints. “What was that?”
“Nothing, sorry.” You clear your throat. “Listen, I - I get what you’re trying to do. I appreciate it, really, but -” 
Pain lances through your abdomen, a sharp, icy shard that interrupts your words. You clutch at your side, releasing Astarion’s hand before falling helplessly on your back, twisting in agony.
He inches closer, voice tinged with urgency. “We’re running out of time. If you want my help, it's best to ask now, because as much as I love the idea of you begging for me to bed you, I won’t be comfortable doing this unless you agree to this while you’ve still got your wits about you.” 
Tears sting the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision at the edges. He’s right. You don’t think you can endure this alone, and as much as you fucking hate to admit it, the damned succubus magic - that thing - is right.  
You do desire him. You’ve wanted him since the moment you met beside the nautiloid. Now here he is, offering to alleviate your suffering.  
There’s just one part of his offer that you can’t quite come to terms with.
“I didn’t let you drink from me because I was hoping you’d repay me.” Your voice warbles, wet and stressed, “I can’t have sex with you if it’ll just be part of some ridiculous transaction. Not with anyone, and certainly not with you.” 
His expression softens as your words sink in. It’s a confession, of sorts. The kind he’s wholly unfamiliar with. It stuns him almost to the point of speechlessness.  
“My apologies. Believe me, it was more of an excuse than anything. I didn’t mean to suggest…” He lets his words trail off, shaking his head. You two can revisit this conversation later, when time isn’t of the essence. “It doesn’t matter. I want to do this. Let me help you.” 
The sincerity in his voice sends a shiver up your spine.
It’s clear he means this.
He means every word. 
You nod. “Okay.”
Astarion clears his throat, rolling the tension off his shoulders. 
“Good. Now that we’ve got that taken care of,” he says as he throws one of his legs over your waist, straddling you, “Why don’t you lie back and let me take care of this, hm?” 
His posture is relaxed. Confident. He regards you with hooded eyes and the faintest hint of a smirk. It’s quite the sight, one you’d enjoy significantly more if your body wasn’t busy screaming for his attention. 
His deft hands make quick work of the laces of your shirt, and with every string that loosens, your composure unravels further. You squirm, unable to resist the heat that teases your skin and the growing itch beneath it. 
As if Astarion can sense your rising panic, he places a cool palm against your burning cheek, his touch both gentle and practiced as he rubs smooth circles at the dip of your temple. 
“Relax, dear,” he whispers, both a request and a command. The gentle lilt in his voice masks the underlying authority, but your body obeys all the same, tension releasing from your muscles. “I’ve got you.”
Astarion quickly rids you of the offending fabric, chest and stomach now bared to him. His eyes scan over your form with focused intensity, lips pinched between his teeth, like an artist deciding what to make of their blank canvas.
“Normally, I’d take my time with this,” he admits, “but given the circumstances…” He swiftly undoes the buttons of your trousers before yanking them off along with your smallclothes. One single, fluid motion. 
He can’t hide the mild shock that follows when he sees the state of you - dripping wet, red and pulsing with need. 
He dips the tip of his finger between your folds. It glides over velvet skin, coating the digit in warm, wet slick. A strangled, pitiful noise escapes from your throat.
For a moment, Astarion’s calculated expression falters, surprised by the rate at which your body opens itself up to him. A glint of hunger lurks beneath the surface.
“This may be easier than I thought.” He says with a smirk, more to himself than to you. 
He presses two digits in, slow and intentional. There’s no resistance; A knife through warm butter. You’re dripping down his knuckles, gripping around him like a vice. He slides all the way in until the heel of his palm meets your clit. 
“Breathe.” 
Not even realizing you’d been holding your breath, you release it with a shutter.
“Very good.” He punctuates his words with the slow drag of his fingers. Long, languid movements. He’s taking his sweet time with you, pulling scandalous little cries from your lips. It’s like he’s toying with you - seeing how long you can hold out before breaking. 
It doesn’t take much time at all.
“Astarion -”
“Yes?”
“Please.”
“Please, what? What do you need, darling?” His eyes are fixed on your own, grin tugging at the edge of his mouth. A cat playing with a cornered mouse.
“More. Anything.” 
He hums in approval, then wets the pad of his thumb on his tongue before drawing circles exactly where you need. Heat coils at the base of your spine, forming a ball of tension that threatens to snap. 
The sheer intensity of it is enough to scare you, caught between the urge to chase the sensation or flee from it. “Astarion, I -” 
He ignores your warning as if he hadn’t heard it, plunging his fingers into your heat and curling them - expertly caressing a spot that threatens to shatter you. Your hands fly out, gripping the fabric of his shirt, the sheets beneath you, anything in a desperate attempt to ground yourself.
“Go on, love. Let it out. I’ve got you.” 
Your body seizes as your orgasm tears through you, igniting every one of your oversensitive nerves. Back arching off the bedroll, several strangled sounds - almost pained - rip from your throat. The pleasure threatens to tear you apart, but the thick fog of lust occupying your mind begins to subside, offering the slightest bit of clarity as you twitch beneath him. 
Astarion grabs you by the jaw, tilting your head this way and that, admiring his handiwork. He's quite pleased with himself, with the mess he's made of you - jaw slack and brows pinched. He coaxes out the aftershocks, watching you squeeze around his fingers.
"There,” he gives you a playful pat on the cheek, "You're looking better already." 
"You're - agh - enjoying this too much."
"I never said I wasn't going to enjoy it." 
A beat of silence passes between the two of you as he allows you to catch your breath. For a moment, you think the coast is clear - that maybe, this was as far as things had to go. This was what the magic was compelling you to do, or at the very least - it was close enough. You fulfilled its wishes. Surely.
But then he pulls out of you, and the second you feel the vacuum of emptiness where his fingers once were, that voice in your head is screeching like some sort of petulant child. It pouts, waggling its non-existent finger in your direction. The demanding bitch. 
Part of you, instinctually, realizes that this is just the beginning - that you’re simply at the edge of the shore watching the tides recede while a devastating wave builds somewhere in the distance. 
“What is it? Does it still hurt?” Astarion asks, breaking the silence, and you realize that no, it doesn’t. Not like before, at least. 
You shake your head.
“Good. I’d wager that means this is working.” He smiles triumphantly, working the laces of his own clothes, and ridding himself of the final layers between you, revealing an intricate network of muscle beneath. For a man who’d supposedly been starved for the last two centuries, he certainly doesn’t look the part.
Astarion nudges your legs apart with his thigh, then settles between your knees, dragging the head of his cock between your folds. He hums in approval, admiring the sight as he coats himself in your slick. It practically drools out of you.
There’s no resistance when he dips himself into your entrance. 
His eyes scan over your face, searching for any discomfort, but all he finds is need. 
So, he presses in further. 
“Shit, you -” 
He hisses, sucking in a sharp breath as he bottoms out, then takes a moment, eyes pinched shut, collecting himself. 
He slides out, just an inch or so, before plunging back in, buried as deeply as he can reach. It’s so damn easy, the sinfully wet mess you’ve left all over his cock allowing him to glide in and out, tilting his hips with each thrust.
The stretch of him is perfect, like you were made for this - made to take him. His length rubbing and dragging against your walls acts like a balm, relaxing your body as you swallow and grip him in scorching heat. 
He grabs one of your thighs, pressing it into your chest - the new angle allowing him to sink even deeper into your core.
It isn’t long before you’re begging him for more, digging your heels into the curve of his back.
Astarion starts pounding into you - a new, brutal pace spurred on by your encouragement and the wet, filthy slap of his skin against yours. The sounds reverberate off the canvas of your tent, blending with your choked sobs. You just know your companions are going to have something to say about this in the morning, but you honestly can’t bring yourself to care. 
The only thing that matters now is the man above you - his nails digging into the flesh of your ass, whispering how good you feel. How well you’re taking him, “Like you were made for this - for me.” His grunts are like music to your ears, drowning out all other thoughts as his chest vibrates against your own.
It’s all too much. 
Your orgasm sneaks up on you before you have a chance to warn him, but he feels the way you flutter around his cock and acts on instinct - snaking his fingers between your bodies and rubbing your clit in quick circles. 
You throw your head back with a cry, shaking beneath him, and grip him like a vice as you come. The force of it slams into you, hot and devastating, tightening every muscle within its wake. You wind your limbs tightly around the hard planes of Astarion’s body as he rolls his hips into you, slow and deep. 
You can feel him twitching inside you, his rhythm suddenly stuttering with each thrust. Something tells you he’d come now, if you’d allow him.
But where?
'Where else?'
The very idea of him not spilling every drop he has inside of you disturbs you nearly to the point of panic, and with that, you finally understand what this damned succubus has been demanding of you this entire time.
“Astarion, please. I need you.” 
“Where?” he asks, voice muffled, panting hot and open-mouthed against the swell of your shoulder.
“Inside,” you beg, “Please. Please -  It’s alright.” 
He shudders, surging up into you one last time with a strangled grunt. Holding onto your hips, he pulses within you, the warmth of his release filling you to the brim, until a thick white ring of come forms at the base of his length. You can’t help but clench around him, moving to match his previous pace and trying desperately to wring as much out of him as you can, until it begins to seep out onto the sheets beneath you.
It isn’t until he stills inside of you that you release your hold on him. The two of you take a minute to collect yourselves, waiting for your heart to settle and listening to Astarion’s ragged breaths. 
He lifts his weight off of you with a grunt, settling back on his knees. 
“That was - agh,” he shivers as he pulls out of you. You don’t even want to look at the mess.
“I’m going to have to burn these sheets, aren’t I?” you ask, sitting up on your shoulders.
He throws his head back with a genuine, hearty laugh, and cards his fingers through his dampened hair. 
This is the most relaxed you think you’ve ever seen him - not a scowl line in sight. He rolls his shoulders, and sighs at the subsequent pop before turning his focus back on you.
“I’ll have you know,” Astarion muses, “I’ve done this more times than I can count— but this, my dear,” he chuckles, “This was one for the books.”
“So, was sleeping with me everything you could have possibly imagined?” It’s an obvious joke, given your tone. An offer to squash any chance of this happening again, should he wish to. An exit. 
He hums playfully. “Well, next time I think I’d prefer the subtle influence of wine over a mind-altering aphrodisiac, if it's all the same to you.”
There’s a beat of silence. 
Did he just offer to do this again? Well, not exactly, but -
“And how are you feeling?” Astarion asks. 
Better, is the honest answer. Slightly confused and deeply embarrassed, but better. 
The apologies you’ll have to make after the night’s over seem endless, both to him and to Shadowheart for all the trouble you caused. Not to mention the others, who’ve probably had the sound of your squealing burned into their memories forever. The idea of it is daunting.
“Because if you’re still reeling from any nasty, lingering effects,” he continues, “I’m sure I could be… persuaded to help again.”
Oh.
Hm.
“Well, now that you mention it…”
-
Tag List (sorry if I missed anyone! I only added you if you explicitly asked to be tagged): @daedriclys @captain039 @sushiumex @sugasweettea @marauders-moon @starlightelegy @ablxssm @the-lake-is-calling
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afterglowkatie · 2 months
Text
pair of pests: tattoo ˏˋ°•*⁀ kyra x catley!reader, short fic/blurb
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kyra cooney-cross x reader | 1.2k | based off of this ask
‘Kyra, Kyra!’ A fan in the stands shouted out to try and get Kyra’s attention since she was walking by quite close. Kyra looked towards where she heard her name being called out, lifting her hand up to wave while smiling at the fans. Until one of them, the one that had tried to get Kyra’s attention, looked quite familiar to her.
Kyra made her way over to the girl, though she couldn’t exactly pinpoint why she felt so familiar to Kyra. She didn’t try that hard to figure it out, putting it down to probably having seen the supporter at multiple matches, ‘Hi,’ Kyra smiled at the girl, greeting her and leaning slightly on the barrier.
‘Kyra, could you get Tiny please. I want to show her this,’ The girl lifted her arm and that's when it all clicked for her. 
You and Kyra were going around to all the Arsenal fans after one of your matches at home. Laughing, messing around and taking what time you had to spend it with all of the fans that came to support you. You were signing jerseys and taking photos until you had come across this one girl who’d asked you to sign her arm instead of her jersey.
‘Are you sure that’s what you want?’ You laughed, not used to being asked to sign a part of someone’s body. It was the first time you could recall where someone wanted your signature on their body, ‘I’ll sign your jersey too if you want,’ 
‘I’m going to get your signature tattooed,’ The girl told you right before you went to sign her arm. Your face dropped in shock before a little smile formed. You didn’t know what to say. You were flattered that you could mean that much to someone you didn’t know personally enough that they wanted a tattoo dedicated to you, ‘Wow,’ was all you could speak, almost freezing in place for a minute, ‘Are you sure?’ Your voice wasn’t your usual confident self that you normally had while you were with fans.
‘Definitely, you’re my favourite player. I love watching you play, you’re amazing and one of my biggest inspirations,’ Your smile kept getting bigger, listening to how one of your supporters was talking to you. 
‘Keep talking like that and she’s gonna get a big head,’ Kyra laughed next to you, shaking your head slightly before placing a little kiss to your temple when she noticed the small pout directed at her, ‘No pressure babe,’
‘Yeah,’ You breathed out before grabbing the marker from the girl and steadying yourself before signing her arm, making sure you did your best version of your signature, writing your jersey number underneath. You gave the marker back and leant forward bringing the girl into a hug, ‘Thank you so much, you’re the first person who’s asked me for something like this. If you post it make sure to tag me, I want to see it when it’s done,’ You pulled back, looking at where you just signed. You were still in awe at the entire situation.
‘Yeah I’ll go get her for you,’ Kyra stared at the tattoo, she felt a sense of pride wash over her. Kyra would forever be proud of you, a little bit more when things like this happened. It’s just a reminder of how far you’ve come in your life and career. The way you can connect with others through the sport you chose to pursue when you were just a kid. 
Kyra loves your interactions with fans, the way she knows that you help people so much. She made her way over to where you were, you were never too far away from each other so it was quite easy to spot you. You were on your way back to the tunnel when you’d stopped for a group of fans that had gotten your attention and you being who you are, just couldn’t not stop for people.
‘I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to steal her away,’ Kyra made sure to wait for a break in you signing jersey’s and taking photos before she slid her arms around your waist pulling you into her a little. You turned your head and smiled towards Kyra, leaning into her touch. Fans loved seeing the two of you interact, being quite carefree whenever you were in places where you were the most comfortable.
‘What’s up Ky?’ You gave the supporters you were talking to one last smile and a little wave before following where Kyra was leading you towards.
‘Tattoo girl is here,’ Kyra beamed at you. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, you knew exactly who she was talking about.
‘Ky, baby, look,’ You and Kyra were just laying on the couch, cuddled up watching a movie and scrolling through your phones. Your head laying on Kyra’s chest, her fingers playing with your hair. Kyra gave you all her attention when you’d looked up at her while holding your phone up so she could see, ‘That girl from the match that day, she actually got it tattooed,’ You couldn’t stop looking at the photo. 
You thought it was crazy that someone had actually gone through with something like that. Still in disbelief that it even happened, it’d all felt like a dream. Some days you still felt like that same little kid that used to just kick the ball in the backyard with her older sister, not feeling like you were grown up enough or good enough for something like that to happen. 
You were just a girl who liked to play football, who was good enough to make a career out of it. But you had to remember, and things like this reminded you, that you were a girl who was inspiring others, someone who was good enough for people to look up to and to be someone’s favourite. You don’t think you could ever get used to it.
‘Wow, that’s so cool,’ Kyra took your phone to have a closer look at it. She looked down at you, smiling softly, her eyes holding so much love for you, ‘I’m so proud of you,’ Kyra kissed your lips gently first, then placed little kisses all over your face, making you laugh a little.
‘Stop, I didn’t do anything,’ You felt your cheeks heat up, hiding your face in Kyra’s neck.
‘You do so much more than you’ll ever realise,’ 
‘I still can’t believe this,’ You smiled so wide when you’d gently reached out holding the girl's arm while you looked closely at the tattoo, ‘I love that I get to see it in person,’ You gently ran your finger over the lines of your signature on the girl's arm. The more you looked at it, the more it was beginning to feel real and sink in, ‘Thank you,’
‘No, thank you for everything you do. On and off the pitch you’re incredible,’ You were never one to accept compliments all that well, so you stumbled over a response. The only thing you thought that could ever say ‘thank you for choosing me to be your favourite’ enough was giving your jersey.
So you quickly pulled back and slipped off your jersey, borrowing a marker so you could sign it before giving it to the fan and one last hug before having to go. When Kyra could tell when the thought of giving away your jersey ran through your head, she had already slipped off her jacket and held it up ready to wrap you up in it before you’d even taken your jersey off.
You had no idea that this would lead into others asking for similar things from you, opening the realm of possibilities and to many more tattoos in your honour being done.
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inuyashaluver · 8 months
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any more niamh charles coming 🥺🥺🥺
coffee shop - niamh charles
niamh charles x reader
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description: in which a pretty girl comes into your work everyday, are discounts and little notes on her cup considered flirting?
warnings: fluffyyyyy, let’s pretend covid isn’t a thing x
a/n: niamhy baby! i love her, thank you for the request, my love, enjoy!! ❤️ i really don’t know how to feel about this but it’s 2am and I’m delirious so we persevere!
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
when you and your girlfriend, niamh first laid eyes on each other, you both knew it was a forever kind of thing.
you both didn’t really believe in love at first sight until you both came into one another’s life, proving you and niamh to believe the statement wholeheartedly.
it all started in 2020 when niamh was signed to chelsea and moved to london. you at the time were studying law as well as working in a local coffee shop near your flat that niamh wandered into one day and took your breath away.
you were doing a morning shift alone, you’d often do the opening shifts for your boss by yourself because she absolutely adored you, you were also extremely good at your job and she trusted you completely.
you were cleaning the coffee machine and refilling the grounds when you heard the little bell on the door ring. “hi, excuse me?” a soft voice sounded from behind the counter. you turn to face one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever seen, your breath hitching when you made eye contact.
the girl in front of you also gave you a surprised expression, she thought you were absolutely gorgeous. “hi” you breathe out, moving closer to the counter.
“can i get you anything?” you say shyly, the girl nods and smiles at you, “yeah! could i just get an iced latte to go please?” you nod and put the order into the system, letting out a little laugh.
she raises her eyebrows expectantly at you and you smile, “sorry, it’s just that it’s absolutely freezing and you get an iced drink” you giggle, the girl laughs along with you.
“yeah, i know it’s stupid” she laughs, you shake your head amusingly and retrieve a cup, “it’s not stupid, it’s interesting” you shrug.
the girl smiles brightly at you before you look up at her again, “name?” she looks at you with slight surprise, “sorry?” she utters, “for your coffee” you giggle, niamh exhales quickly at feeling slightly stupid before smiling at you again.
“ah, niamh” she grins, you smile brightly at her and write her name on the cup, moving to prepare the coffee as niamh stares at you in confusion.
“sorry, how much was it?” niamh questions, you wave her off with your hand, “no, it’s on the house, you’re my first customer” you wink (complete lie)
niamh immediately protests until you give her a stern expression and she stops, shaking her head at you and standing near the counter.
“chelsea supporter then?” you grin, making a espresso shot as you look at niamh, she looks down and realises that she’s in her training kit, you distracted her completely.
“something like that, yeah, i play for them” niamh smiles sheepishly, you offer her an impressed grin, “wow, niamh, might need an autograph for the wall” you say cheekily, making niamh laugh brightly.
you both small talk while you finish up making her coffee, you both have identical disappointed smiles as you pass her the coffee. “well thank you” her eyes narrow on your name tag, “(y/n), i really appreciate it” niamh grins, you nod with a smile and give her a little wave goodbye as she leaves.
your eyes follow her every move as she leaves the shop, sighing when she leaves out the door.
niamh takes a sip of her coffee and her eyes widen comically, she swears it’s the best coffee she’s had in her life, she looks down at the cup and sees that you’ve written a little note on the cup.
‘famous niamh! have a good day! :)’ she smiles down at the cup, the smile carrying into training and gaining some curious gazes as to why she was treasuring a cup of ice coffee.
you both thought about each other the whole day, hoping you’d cross paths again - unaware niamh made a promise to herself that she’d go to the coffee shop every morning and you made an effort to take every morning shift possible.
the next day, the morning shift was just locals in the cafe, you’d served everyone so you always used the down time at work to study, much to the encouragement of your boss. your textbooks would be sprawled out on the side of the counter to go back to whenever you had the chance.
you were currently highlighting some important passages in your law textbook when you hear the familiar bell of the door, looking up to see a smiling niamh waving to you.
she made you so nervous and she didn’t even know it. in reality, niamh had been hyping herself up for five minutes to even enter the coffee shop.
“niamh!” you say brightly, placing down the highlighter and standing behind the calendar. “busy?” she grins, pointing at the textbook next to you, you glance at it quickly and sigh, “yes, it’s kicking my ass” you laugh, she laughs sympathetically,
“what are you studying?” niamh questions, “law” you exhale, niamh gives you an impressed expression, both of you getting deja vu from the previous day.
“maybe i’m the one who needs your autograph” niamh quips, making you both giggle with each other, “hm maybe if you’re lucky” you grin, taking niamh’s order again. she forces you to let her pay and you give her a large discount, throwing in a little cookie with a cheeky grin.
she groans when she sees the card machine, clearly way less than the actual total, she narrows her eyes at you and you shrug, “pretty girl discount” niamh tenses at your words and her cheeks are slightly blushed. your own cheeks are pink as you make her coffee, changing the subject and small talking with her again.
you both had so much in common it was honestly crazy, everytime the one of you mentioned something, the other would gasp excitedly and talk about it passionately.
the grins and giggles said everything and more, you both really liked each other. when niamh leaves, she looks down at her cup again, laughing brightly at the note you’ve left on her cup.
‘to my dearest fan, niamh, here’s my autograph, don’t sell it! have a lovely day xx’ you left a little signature under it and niamh cheeks hurt from the smile adorning her features. the little ‘xx’ you left had her heart beating rapidly and her cheeks pink, she couldn’t wait to come back the next day.
you glanced at the clock nervously while you waited for niamh the next day, it was five minutes later than she usually comes in the morning. you huff while flipping through your notes and you swear you got whiplash when you heard the bell ring, looking up in relief to see niamh and her bright smile. “you’re late” you tease, she slaked her head and makes her way over to you.
“hello, (y/n)” she sings out, you smile happily at her and grab a cup in your hand. “hi, niamh” you mock her tone, “the usual?” you question, she nods enthusiastically and begins to rave over you,
“no joke, you make the best coffee ever and i’m not even exaggerating” you smile shyly at her, attempting to wave it off but she won’t relent.
“why do you think i keep coming back?” niamh jokes, you roll your eyes with a laugh, “for me?” you cock your head to the side with a teasing smile and niamh feels her heart clench, you were so cute.
“well yeah but also for your coffee” she scoffs, your cheeks burn and you make yourself busy with her coffee, chatting excitedly with each other about anything and everything. again, giving a hefty discount on her coffee making her scowl at you when she taps her card.
when you hand her the coffee, she’s about to do her regular goodbye but she stops herself suddenly. “could i get your number?” she asks nervously, you smile brightly and nod, taking out your phone and exchanging numbers with each other.
she looks at her coffee cup again when she exits with a grin, ‘niamhy! have a lovely lovely day, enjoy your pretty girl coffee with your pretty girl discount xx’ niamh snaps a selfie of her with the coffee and sends it to you, starting an endless texting cycle between the two of you.
you would text for hours and hours, sending each other random photos throughout your days. you both loved it.
after about two weeks of you and niamh chatting and seeing each other everyday, you decide to take the first move this time and write something a little different on her cup this time.
before she leaves, you ask her to read the cup in front of you while you hand it to her. she grins at you brightly, ‘niamhy! can we go on a date please? xx p.s, have a lovely day!’ she looks up at you bashfully and nods, you smile and move around the counter to give her a hug.
you and niamh have a long embrace of you two just hugging, feeling so comforting and familiar as you held each other.
niamh kisses your cheek quickly before she leaves and you feel like your legs are going to give out from under you. niamh bolts out of the shop and lets out a silent scream in her car while she thinks about the interaction.
you went on your date and began dating shortly after about 4 dates. and after about a year, you and niamh moved in with each other and it was the best thing to happen to the both of you.
you genuinely were infatuated with each other, willing to do anything for one another without a second thought.
you’ve now been dating for 3 years and it was just full of genuine love. you were now niamh’s personal barista, the coffee shop job left behind as you were now practising as a lawyer, getting a job at a big company that had niamh bragging and boasting about every second she got.
she had a match and you were able to come, clad in your ‘charles’ jersey with a bright grin and a coffee in hand as you watch. chelsea wins and niamh immediately makes her way over to you, you smile as she approaches and you open your arms to her with a bright grin.
“hello, beautiful” you grin, your arms wrapping around her shoulders as hers held your waist. “hi, baby” she says adoringly, kissing your cheek repeatedly before pulling away to face you.
you hold the coffee in front of her and she gasps in excitement, pulling you into a quick kiss before taking the cup from you.
“my pretty girl and her amazing coffee, who cares about the win” she mocks, you laugh at her and kiss her cheek sweetly. “meet me at the back?” she asks softly, you nod and wave her off, making your way to your shared car.
niamh watches you leave before she looks down at the cup, a heart shaped sticky note taped on the reusable cup, ‘niamhy baby! congrats on the win, my love, you’re amazing and i love you x’
she grins brightly and takes off the note, hanging it up in her cubby to give her motivation. she gives you a big kiss when she makes it to the car, both of you looking at each other full of affection before she drives off.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
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liked by _jessflem and 44,232 others
niamhcharles17: hot lawyers make the best coffee
view all comments
yourname: i knew you only wanted me for the coffee
↳ niamhcharles17: no, baby! it’s just a bonus
↳ yourname: hm sureeeeee
↳ niamhcharles17: no it’s true!
↳ niamhcharles17: don’t forget you made the first move, babe
↳ yourname: my notes are just irresistible
↳ niamhcharles17: indeed
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jakesangel · 3 months
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jake x chubby!reader headcanon ꣑୧ - requested
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꣑୧ jake is a partner down bad for his gf no matter how she looks. he will forever n alwasy tell you soft words about his stunning you are to him. so if your chubby, your cheeks, tummy, thighs n belly will always be worshipped. everytime you speak, or smile, or just exist, jakes head woud tilt on the side admiring you, trying his hardest to not interrupt you in your dialogue.
y/n, god your cheeks are so cute, he'd say pinching them, i love them so so so so much, kissing both of them. aaah and your smile, and your cheeks what am i supposed to do baby ?
꣑୧ as he gets cuddly, his face would go straight to your belly or in between your thighs, softly rubbing his face in it, smelling it, kissing it, even worshiping it.
baby, im so tired, he'd say plopping on the couch, his head going straight to your belly. can you stroke my hair baby please, looking up to you, w his infamous round eyes. and as your hair finally touch his hair, all his worry will leave his body, soon taking the warmth of you. you know i wouldn't trade you for anything in the world, he'd whisper, his voice muffled by your skin, i love you so so much, your body is so perfect and you're personally is so perfect, i could never want to lose you, he would finish kissing your belly. please never change ?
꣑୧ he would also never be ready to see you in your outfits, like more revealing or cutesy outfit will make him skip a heartbeat, every single time.
baby you're read- omg. i ? wow, you look amazing babe. hed saty breathlessly, body stoic in his place. could you twirl for me ? please ? seeing you sexily dressed, highligting your curves, would wired his last sane cells about you, not knowing what to do or act.
꣑୧ he is a cuddler, so you being chubby would literally be heaven for him. him dating a chubby person would help him get more on the cuddled/hugged, like little spoon or the one being taken care of.
babyyyy, can i please be the little spoon tonight ? hed say, asking potlity, a pout appearing. if you say no, his lower lip would further down and whine further more, please ? baby ?youre always so warm and so soft, and you smell so good and you're jsut so perfect. please ? he would even, wrap your arms around him, and cage himself, humming happily once settled.
꣑୧ seeing you talking down on yourself, or wanting to diet pure ply because of what people think of you would DEVAST him. if you're insecure, he would voice his feeling out more often to help you build your confidence, in front or others or not, he will alwasy let you know that you're pretty and the prettiest to his eyes. he would even help you with outfits, wanting nothing but help you to make you feel pretty as well.
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notes : hai anon i'm so so sorry it took me so munch time to write it. i'm also so sorry it ain't my best work, i'm still not feeling quite alright writing post but i felt too bad to not write it sooner so here it is :/
perm tag list ( open ) : @allurecile @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee @luvlyhee @en-ner-jay @en-chantedtomeetyou @erenmyman @driedflowwr @chaewonshoney
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v1nsmoke · 3 months
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𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 // 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑
oneshot - fallout's john hancock x reader
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tw: mentions of drugs (usual hancock activity)
summary: after days of exiting goodneighbor, you and hancock finally get to talk
fandom: fallout
a/n: there is not enough talk about this fella omg… now that liking the ghoul from the fallout show is accepted, i can come forward (i chose the “romance hancock” option every playthrough). no pronouns used, so gender neutral ig? also the inspiration for the title is that one song thats viral on tiktok rn, also galvanized square steel mentioned
tags: -
wc: 0.6k
“Day twenty-five since leaving Vault 111, today is Monday and my location is Diamond City, it’s currently 2:41 PM. Me and my companion are at the noodle shop,” you say, speaking into your Pip-boy. 
Recently, you’ve been documenting every day, usually just a brief summary on that day’s experiences. These experiences consisted of hourly radroach attacks, accidental overdose on jet, or encounters with hostile Mr. Handy’s. Or accidental near-death situations with a deathclaw. That only happened once. 
You weren’t sure anybody would ever hear these, even better, be interested in these daily logs. Your companion seemingly couldn’t care less about these logs, as he ate his portion of ramen next to you. 
“The Institute remains undefeated, and I doubt it will change today, I’m not in the mood for it,” you continue.
“If it depended on your mood, it would be there forever,” Hancock cuts in with his sarcastic remark.
A sigh escapes your lips at his words.
“Maybe I should switch back to Dogmeat and send you back to Goodneighbor,” you reply.
“Now, what good would that do for you?”
“It would spare me from more of these remarks.”
“But can Dogmeat give you this?” He asks as he slides you a jet.
Hesitantly, but you accept it with a smile. 
“John Hancock, the ghoul you are,” you sigh.
A smile creeps onto his features. 
“See? You like me enough.”
“Whatever helps you sleep…”
You’ve been traveling with Hancock for the past week or so, after you accepted the offer of Bobby, who just so happened to lie to you. One thing led from another, and after finishing off Hancock’s bodyguard, you managed to solve the bad blood between the two of you by killing Bobby herself. 
Hancock was useful and good company, helping out where he could and making small talk with you. Not to mention that he was supplying you with a different kind of drug every day. They don’t have that stuff in Vaults…
Last night, the both of you got high as hell in the home you bought with hard-earned caps here, in Diamond City. It was mostly a box, so you decided to illegally expand it with galvanized square steel and eco-friendly wood veneers. So, after the finished construction - that lasted four days with the cheap and friendly workforce including Little John (Hancock) and yourself -, the two of you decided to celebrate.
He plopped down onto the mattress - the construction fee was too much for you to spend even more caps on a normal bed -, resting his back against the wall. You popped open a bottle of Nuka-Cola, taking your place on the mattress next to him.
“So, how do ya like it?” He asks, taking a Jet out of his pocket.
“So far so good,” you reply with a sigh.
“That’s all? Not ‘I love this place more than the Vault’?”
“I do like it more than the Vault, cause you’re here.”
He stays quiet for a few seconds before speaking up.
“That’s good.”
“That’s all? Not ‘Wow I, too, am really glad that I’ve got you and get to share Jet with you and that you defended me from that Deathclaw’?”
He lets out a slight chuckle, hanging his head low. 
“Thank you, then. For these past few days I’ve spent with you. Never thought I would find anybody who would accept me as their companion.”
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© v1nsmokes 2024. Do not modify, translate or rewrite.
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icequeenbae · 6 months
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Boy Next Door (m) Ch.3 | BBH
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Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader
Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut
Warnings: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex
Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 5.3k (pt.3)
Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?
© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.
Chapter Masterlist [ongoing]: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)
Author’s note: Hiiii sweethearts!! I learned yesterday that my blog has earned 10k likes from you, so I decided that there was no better way to say thanks than to post part 3 of this story hehe Hope you like this little token of appreciation! 💕 And prepare thyselves, this is gonna be pretty intense 🔥🔥🔥
Tags: @bbh-net  @k-vanity  @ksmutsociety @lavnderluv @cupreoussyzygy @byunbaek-hyun-04
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PART 3
‘I hate my life, Yu…’
‘Wow, haven’t heard that one before,’ your friend responded sarcastically.
‘I’m serious this time!’ You shrieked.
‘Stop yelling in my ear,’ she grumbled, shifting on the bed. ‘Your life sucks just ‘cause you’re too sensitive.’
You whined loudly, which couldn’t prevent her from continuing her lecture for the nth time.
‘I get that you were caught off guard. But who’s that chick to make such disgusting comments? I’m sure you looked hot as hell in his shirt, and she was jealous of you.’
‘Thanks, but you have no idea what she looked like…’
‘She probably isn’t even that pretty; you just thought she was in the spur of a moment. You get confused easily.’
‘No, I don’t! I can’t say her face is the prettiest I’ve seen, but she was dressed in expensive clothes, her hair seemed perfect, and she was skinny.’
‘Who cares? Is that why you’re not eating tteokbokki for the first time in your life??’
‘I’m not hungry,’ you groaned.
‘You’re always hungry! I’ve never seen you turn down street food! Can you at least eat the egg?’
‘Eat it yourself.’
Yuki gasped.
‘Are you sure you’re not terminally ill? Shall I call an ambulance?’ She asked and then shifted in place. ‘Or better yet… shall I call him?’
‘What? No!’ You almost pounced on your friend out of fear.
She was kidding, but you knew what she was capable of.
‘Y/N… It’s been a week. You can’t be avoiding him forever.’
‘I can. And I will.’
‘Come on! Why would you? It’s obvious from their convo that she isn’t his girlfriend, more like an annoying ex. If even that. Maybe she’s a stalker… So why are you retreating to your shell again?’
‘Because! What if she is his ex? I don’t think we’re exactly similar in any way, and if she is his type, then…’
‘Then what? Didn’t he mercilessly kick her out? So what exactly does she have on you?’
You sighed, turning away. It wasn’t that you were ugly or had low self-esteem. But people had their… preferences and beauty standards. And you imagined that guys like Baekhyun usually went for girls like her. Not the girls next door. It wasn’t as much about beauty as…
She just seemed more exciting. And you were anything but.
‘Just talk to him. Pretty sure the abundance of missed calls means that he wants to clear up the misunderstanding.’
‘Do you have soju?’
‘I’m not pouring you alcohol when you’ve been starving yourself for days! Besides, you have work tomorrow, don’t you?’
‘I thought I was the boring one,’ you grumbled, pouting at your friend.
Although you didn’t have a drop of anything, the next day at work was just as agonizing as the entire week prior. You were usually pretty happy about Fridays (with the whole weekend ahead), but you were in a sour mood this time. Going home meant getting anxious about running into your neighbor, and you hadn’t come up with what to tell him yet. So, the sooner the end of your working hours approached, the more uneasy you felt.
Baekhyun hadn’t tried calling or texting you today, and this was hardly a relief. Did he give up on you and your weird tantrums? Most likely. But then again, maybe it was for the best. This way, you wouldn’t have a chance to live in the world you’d imagined. At times, especially right before you went to sleep, you’d think back to the events of that day. And inevitably, the memories of the two of you making out on his couch would pop up in your head. Then the intruder barges in and looks down on you. Humiliating you with her comments in front of Baekhyun. Goosebumps marathoned across your body every time you recalled that. Especially your own pathetic reaction. Why didn’t you tell her off? Why did you suddenly feel so insecure?
Your desire to avoid going home was so strong that you ended up drinking with some of your colleagues at a bar. Secretly, you’d also hoped that alcohol would erase the unpleasant memories. And at least for a bit, you’d stop beating yourself up forever thinking you and Baekhyun could work. You were hurt many times when your exes left for someone, but the incident in his apartment was different. It was like a quick sneak peek into this situation, and you didn’t like how it made you feel. And it shouldn’t have affected you this way. You and Baekhyun weren’t even a thing.
But Yuki was definitely right about denying you access to alcohol. Too bad you were an adult with all the means to get as much of it as you desired.
‘Why is this button dancing around? It’s not supposed to move,’ you slurred out, unable to call the elevator. ‘Jinwoo-yah, it’s not working.’
‘Let me press it for you, Y/N-ssi.’
Your colleague leaned in, still holding you close to his side to prevent you from collapsing to the floor, and pressed the button. His ‘heroic’ action made you giggle.
‘Jinwoo-ya-ah, you’re the bestest!’
He snickered at your expressiveness and helped you inside the elevator.
‘Which floor?’
‘Thirteen.’ You giggled throughout the ride up, although you didn’t know what was funny about that number.
‘You’re in pretty bad shape, sunbae.’ He sighed, catching you when you almost tripped, walking out. ‘What’s your passcode?’
‘No-no-no!’ You shook your index finger in front of his nose. ‘I don’t tell all the pretty boys my passcode!’
Jinwoo looked at you helplessly, probably grasping that you were unable to actually press it in yourself.
And he was right. After about five minutes of you trying and failing, he suggested again.
‘Just tell me, and I’ll do it.’
‘Okay. It’s 3-2- no, 1-… 2-1-6… Wait. Was it?’ You were confused by your own thoughts now.
‘Y/N?’
You turned your head towards the voice.
‘Baekhyunie!’ You jumped on the spot and almost dropped yourself on the tile if not for your helpful colleague’s hands on your waist. ‘Do you remember my passcode? Jinwoo doesn’t know it…’
Baekhyun didn’t respond, scanning you and the man beside you.
‘What happened?’ He addressed the guy, earning a pout from you.
‘Our team was out, and she had too much soju on an empty stomach,’ he explained. ‘Tomorrow morning’s gonna be bad, so she should lie down ASAP. Do you know her passcode by any chance?’
‘No.’ Baekhyun answered. ‘But I’ll deal with her. You can go, thanks.’
Jinwoo was reluctant to let go of you.
‘Uh- wait. She’s really drunk. I don’t think I can just leave her-’
‘She’s been alone with me many times. Don’t worry about it.’ Baekhyun pierced your poor colleague with his eyes, gripping your waist.
‘Are you taking me home, oppa-yah? Can we make out on your couch again?’ You murmured, leaning into him.
‘Aish. You’re shameless.’ He chuckled, turning to Jinwoo, who was still by your side.
He was less sure that he needed to be there now.
‘I’ll… Uh- I’ll just go then. Take care!’ He blurted, nodding at Baekhyun before walking away.
‘Bye, Jin-jinwoo!’ You waved at him happily.
‘Come on in,’ Baekhyun shooed you into his apartment. ‘How did you even get this drunk…’
He crouched in front of you, helping you out of your shoes.
‘…and with a bunch of male colleagues, I’m sure. He can’t just leave you with me? Pfft!’ He kept grumbling as he almost carried you into the kitchen.
After making you drink some water, he brought you to the next destination – his bedroom.
‘Can you stand here while I change the sheets?’
‘No-ho!’ Your knees instantly grew weak, and you’d fall if not for Baekhyun’s hold.
‘Wow, your condition is worse than I thought. Let’s sit you down then.’
‘No! Don’t change them!’
He looked at you in bafflement.
‘You don’t want me to change the sheets?’
You closed your eyes, head too heavy to shake to indicate your answer.
‘I want… Baekhyunie’s sheets.’ You shoved him away, stumbling over nothing and falling onto his bed face first.
‘Y/N-ah…’ He sounded like he was about to scold you.
‘No. Baekhyunie’s sheets smell nice.’
‘The clean ones smell even nicer.’ He tried.
‘No. They don’t smell like oppa.’ You quipped, burying your nose in his pillow.
‘You like how oppa smells?’ He asked, lifting his eyebrows.
‘Yes. Comfy.’
‘Comfy?’
‘Yes. I like him. But he likes other type.’ You muttered in an injured tone.
‘Other type?’ He asked, sitting down on the bed next to you.
You ignored him at first, but he poked at your shoulder to get you to elaborate.
‘Mean skinny girls.’ You mumbled begrudgingly. ‘Not Y/N.’
‘You’re drunk. You should sleep,’ Baekhyun sighed, giving up on you.
He pulled the duvet from underneath your body to cover you with it. While he was busy tucking you in, you started sobbing.
‘Y/N? What is it, does anything hurt?’ He asked, voice growing alarmed from your sudden change of tune.
‘Why doesn’t oppa like me, though?’ You sniffled, hugging his pillow. ‘I know I’m not fun, but I like him so much…’
‘That’s just not true.’ He replied, stroking your hair gently. ‘Calm down. Sleep it off, and then we’ll talk, okay? Get comfortable, and I’ll take the couch.’
But you continued wetting his pillow with your drunken tears even more devotedly.
‘Are you gonna leave me alone? Is it because I’m not- You really don’t-’
‘Oh, Y/N…’
Baekhyun allowed you to tug him closer, basically lying down next to you. At once, you latched onto him, trading his pillow for his body without hesitation.
‘Don’t go,’ you bleated, holding onto him, head on his chest.
He sighed, arms slowly reciprocating your sudden embrace.
‘I’m not going anywhere, Y/N-ie. Oppa’s staying with you.’ He sounded reassuring, but you weren’t entirely convinced.
‘What if she comes again?’
‘No one will come.’
‘What if she does!’ You pressed.
‘Then I’ll tell her to go away. Because I like my Y/N-ie best,’ Baekhyun responded, and you could’ve only been more surprised if you were sober.
‘Me?’
‘Yes, you. Now, go to sleep, or I’ll relocate to the couch.’
‘No!’ With how sleepy you’d become, you were protesting to the latter rather than the former.
‘Shall I count to three?’
‘I’m asleep,’ you whispered, before adding in a tiny mischievous voice. ‘Oppa-yah.’
‘Tsk. Silly.’ He hummed softly, hugging you tighter.
It was warm and secure in Baekhyun’s arms. Comfy. You’d never dozed off so quickly and so peacefully.
***
The next morning was rough. No, it was brutal.
Took you several hours to simply wake up. On the first go, you couldn’t bring yourself to even open your eyes. It was still early, and your head hurt so much… Yelping like a puppy, you sank deeper into the sheets, breathing in more of the calming scent. Somehow, it lulled you right back to sleep.
The second time around though, you did fully wake. Although not for long: only long enough to notice a cup of water and a single pill that Baekhyun had already left for you on top of the nightstand. Taking a few gulps to wash it down, you dropped back and blacked out again.
By the third time you opened your eyes, the sun was so high in the sky that you could tell even though the curtains were closed. Your head was heavy, and your mouth tasted awful, but the headache was gone. Taking your time, you looked around the room, recalling how you got into, what you realized was, Baekhyun’s bed.
You sat up cautiously, rubbing your eyes to wake fully before noticing that your fingers were turning black.
‘Ah damn, my makeup!’ You cursed, nearly falling off the edge of the bed.
It was decided on the spot that you needed to move your bones to the bathroom before Baekhyun saw you in your hungover glory.
‘You just had to end up at his house,’ you gritted at yourself, walking to the bathroom door shakily.
Locking yourself in, you evaluated your appearance in the mirror.
‘Jesus Christ. My face is enormous!’
You almost cried. Did you have to look this awful? Surely, Baekhyun took notice of your extreme swelling and panda-inspired ruined mascara and left the bed as soon as possible.
‘Don’t go.’  Yesterday’s events were gradually coming back to you, brick by brick.
Did you beg him to stay in bed with you? He must have found you laughable. How could you even look him in the eye ever again?
You washed up as thoroughly as possible. As if any amount of face rubbing could decrease its puffiness to a bearable extent. Well, at least you got the remnants of your makeup off.
Unwilling to risk running into Baekhyun like this, you decided to be an audacious guest and use the shower, too. After all, you were sure you wouldn’t leave the apartment unnoticed. This way, you’d at least postpone the inevitable.
However, your oblivion only lasted long enough for you to finish up. Because as soon as you opened the door, you were met with the person you wanted to avoid at all costs.
‘God!’ You were startled and caught off guard.
‘It’s just me,’ Baekhyun shrugged, trying to ease the tension with a joke.
‘I- I’m sorry. For the inconvenience…s. I’ll be out of your hair in a second.’
You hurried to gather your things, but his hand prevented you from taking another step.
‘Why are you always fussing around?’ He asked, raising his eyebrows.
Unsure how to answer, you stayed silent. Baekhyun chuckled, thinking something to himself. Before you could ask what it was, he cleared his throat.
‘Let’s have breakfast. I made ramyeon; it’s great for hangovers.’
‘Uh- but-’
‘Do you have somewhere to be?’ He asked with an eye smile.
He was definitely amused. Probably because of your reprehensible performance yesterday.
‘Come on, you need to replenish your energy. Do you feel nauseous or dizzy?’
You muttered ‘no’ shyly, and he nodded.
‘Good. Let’s go then.’
While being dragged into the kitchen, you could only swear at yourself in your mind for your life choices.
‘I boiled a couple of eggs for you too. Do you want kimchi?’
You shook your head, frankly quite blown away by his forethought. He gave you a full bowl of noodles, placing the pot in the middle of the table.
‘Dig in.’
‘Thank you.’ Grabbing your chopsticks, you followed his suggestion.
Surprisingly, the ramyeon was spicy.
Slurping the noodles quickly, you realized how hungry you actually were. The bowl became empty in just a couple minutes.
‘Wow, I guess making four servings was the right choice,’ Baekhyun mused, removing the lid. ‘Have more.’
In the back of your mind, you still wondered why he made spicy ramyeon for you when he couldn’t eat spicy food that well himself.
Your second bowl went slower than the first, so you noticed how he observed you.
‘What?’ You asked, chewing on the egg.
‘Nothing,’ he smiled. ‘You’re eating well.’
You lowered your chopsticks, thinking about what he’d said. It was your first big and unhealthy meal this week, now that you were thinking of it. And maybe it was a good idea to slow down.
‘Why did you stop?’ Baekhyun asked, looking concerned.
Forcing out a small smile, you turned to him.
‘You’re right, I should cut down on it anyways.’
‘That’s not what I said,’ Baekhyun frowned, putting his chopsticks down. ‘But now I’ve come to think of it, that colleague of yours said something yesterday, too. That you drank on an empty stomach. Why?’
‘No reason,’ you mumbled, suddenly interested in the color of the broth.
He took his time inspecting your face, and you tried to ignore it.
‘Don’t tell me… Is it because of what she said?’
You dropped a chopstick you were still holding into your bowl with a loud clank, almost jumping out of your skin. How did he come to that conclusion? Were you that easy to figure out? Maybe you said something yesterday… What could that be?
‘I can literally read your thoughts on your face,’ Baekhyun sighed. ‘You really are silly, Y/N-ah…’
You pouted, saying nothing to this. Because you didn’t know what to say and also because you weren’t sure what he meant.
‘Hm. No one asked me, but… I like a girl with a healthy appetite,’ he said, tilting his head slightly to the side while his eyes kept watching you closely.
Meeting his gaze, you swallowed. The spicy ramyeon was making you sweat.
‘Makes me think she has a healthy appetite for everything. You know?’
Turning crimson, you bit down on your lower lip.
‘Now, you decide whose opinion resonates with you,’ Baekhyun added lightheartedly, returning to his meal as if nothing happened. ‘Wah, should’ve added cheese to it…’
Reluctantly, you picked up your chopsticks.
‘Can’t let it get soggy,’ you said unintelligibly.
Baekhyun gurgled out a laugh before slurping more of his noodles.
The day went by unfathomably fast since you had only finished your ‘breakfast’ in the late afternoon. Your neighbor’s hospitality made you feel at home (as usual), and you were already used to hanging out in his apartment for hours. And although you were too embarrassed to even think of looking Baekhyun in the eye, it had all cleared up somehow. He even managed to seduce you into staying for a few hours longer.
Most of that time you spent chilling on the couch, reducing his lemon ice-cream stock while he played video games. Which you enjoyed watching, actually. Despite having no clue about how to play them or what the goal was, you liked to be around when he played. He always seemed so focused and relaxed at the same time. You could tell that he was good at it, and he always made sure to win whenever you were watching.
However, by the time he was done, you noticed it was pretty late already.
‘Damn, I’m overstaying my welcome by far. You’re a perfect host,’ you chuckled sheepishly, scrambling off the couch to head to his bedroom to change back into your clothes and go home.
‘You can stay as long as you like. I don’t mind,’ Baekhyun murmured, following in your steps.
‘I can’t stay in your apartment forever, can I?’ You mused, turning to face him.
‘Can’t you?’ He deadpanned, approaching you steadily.
You searched his face in puzzlement, and he didn’t stop moving closer until there was less than half an arm’s length between your bodies.
‘What if you do?’ He asked softly, backing you into the wardrobe door. ‘You wanted oppa to stay with you yesterday. Aren’t you going to return the favor?’
He was referring to your drunken ravings, you were sure. Your cheeks heated up, and you swallowed to soothe your dry throat. Baekhyun was so close, and you had to hold yourself back to keep your hands off of him, his messy hair, broad shoulders, and loose sweats.
‘I wonder if you only said that because you were inebriated… Or…’ He trailed off, leaning on the door behind you.
‘Stop…’ You whispered, unable to withstand his slow seduction.
Baekhyun paused, a breath away from your face, and straightened up slightly, allowing more space between you.
‘… beating around the bush.’ You finished, firmer this time, and looked up at him.
There was no need to ask him to do anything. He pressed his lips to yours with zero hesitation, and you were ready to welcome his initiative. Sliding your palms up his arms, you squeezed and hugged his shoulders, using them for balance. Baekhyun’s hands pulled you closer until your body was flat against his, and you could feel the heat of his skin on yours through the fabric of your (actually, his) shirt.
He groaned into the kiss as you slipped one hand under his clothes to trace your fingers from his lower back. The muscles flexed under your touch, and you felt more pressure against your chest. He pushed you into his body firmly, and you couldn’t think of anything but how much you wanted this to be skin-to-skin contact.
Baekhyun, as if reading your mind, backed away just to allow you to roll his shirt up and get it off. Your eyes examined his bare waist greedily, memorizing each line and each mole. He interrupted you by occupying your mouth again, and you let him do as he pleased, trailing your palms down his chest. Happy to investigate, you allowed your fingers to wander around everywhere, exploring his beautiful body.
As your hands reached his lower abdomen, however, you were interrupted by the loud ringing of his phone in his pants pocket.
‘Damn it.’ He cursed under his breath, almost pissed off by the unnecessary pause. ‘Hold that thought.’
He looked at the screen and sighed, seeing that the number was unknown.
‘Yes, hello?’ He responded, voice mildly annoyed.
Someone spoke on the other end, and he frowned.
‘Who is this?’
Baekhyun fell silent for a couple seconds and then rolled his eyes.
‘How did you get my number?’
The caller’s voice was faint, but it seemed familiar… Was it that woman again?
Suddenly, you were straining your ears to hear what she was saying.
‘…couldn’t enter, and I brought dinner for us!’
She did what?!
You looked at Baekhyun, who stepped away and turned his back to you.
‘I’m not sure why you thought it was a good idea. But I did blacklist you in my apartment complex because you enjoy invading my privacy.’
At least your neighbor didn’t want her here; that was a relief. What bothered you was that he was still on the phone with her. In his bedroom, half-naked, and with you on hold. In your mind, this wasn’t at all an ideal scenario.
And tonight, you were in the mood to make it known.
So, you crawled into bed and took his shirt off, crumpling it into a ball of fabric and throwing it at his back. Baekhyun turned around, finding the item on the floor and staring at it momentarily. His eyes darted up to discover that you were in his bed, almost fully naked, with just the blanket held up to your chest covering you. His tense expression promptly changed into one of playful anticipation.
‘Um- I’m busy right now. Please go home and don’t bother me again. Bye.’
He said the last word with his knee on the bed, and you snatched his phone out of his hand as soon as he ended the call. Picking up exactly where you’d left off, you resumed kissing, only to be interrupted by the buzz of his phone on the pillow again. You growled in irritation.
‘Let me block her.’ Baekhyun said, kissing your neck while reaching for the device.
But you grabbed it first.
‘Are you desperate, or is your hearing impaired? Stop calling him.’
Ending it before she could say anything, you quickly blocked the number, switched the sound off, and got rid of his phone. Turning back, you noticed Baekhyun’s unyielding gaze.
‘What?’ You barked.
‘Nothing,’ he shook his head, seemingly holding back a smile. ‘I’m just surprised.’
‘By?’
‘How vicious you are when you’re jealous. In a sexy kind of way.’
You huffed, reasoning with him like a five-year-old would.
‘I’m not jealous! She can’t set foot in the area, and I freaking live next door.’
‘Right.’
His teasing tone made you even more determined, so you pushed him down to lie on his back, and got on top.
‘What do I need to be jealous of? I got you right here.’
‘Oh yeah, you got me good.’
Spurred on further, you narrowed your eyes at your mildly infuriating neighbor before finding his pants and ripping them off of him. Just to realize that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath.
Meanwhile, Baekhyun wasn’t at all fazed by your brazen actions. In fact, he was noticeably aroused by them, which you could tell from the way he watched you with half-lidded eyes.
‘Now what?’ He asked, still lying down comfortably and enjoying the show. ‘Gonna ride me raw?’
‘Yes.’ You shot out without thinking, earning an eyebrow raise from him, and settled on his thighs. ‘Gonna keep mocking me?’
‘Yes.’ He mirrored, long fingers traveling up your thighs to get a good hold of your hips and push you down slightly.
The friction between your bodies made him hiss, the thin and slightly damp fabric of your panties grazing over his bare cock.
‘Shit, Y/N.’
It was finally your turn to be smug.
‘I thought you didn’t swear in front of ladies?’
He let out a short laugh, letting you know he was onto you.
‘I actually swear a lot,’ he admitted, smirking at you as he continued. ‘When I’m angry, when I’m surprised… When I really wanna fuck Y/N.’
You dragged your hips over his in retaliation, causing him to grunt. His hands made your movements more confident and consistent, and you could feel the glide of his skin with your core as you moved back and forth. It was pleasant, but you knew it would be much better without that last layer between you.
While you were thinking it through, Baekhyun’s eyes were glued to your body. One of his hands reached for your breast to squeeze lightly, testing your sensitivity, and you put your palm on top of it to ensure he wouldn’t retract.
‘You’re so… soft,’ he stated, chest flailing. ‘Does it hurt?’
‘No. My breasts aren’t overly sensitive to that type of touch. Ow!’ You instantly reacted when he pinched you.
‘Your nipples seem sensitive to me,’ he hummed, tugging you close enough to kiss your exposed nub quickly. ‘What type of touch, though… Maybe this?’
A quick lick made you whine, startled by the explosion of warmth in your lower belly. However, Baekhyun quickly caught on to your reactions, so he opted to suck your perky nipple into his mouth to fondle it gently. You shivered, fingers diving into his hair and pulling at the roots.
‘Mm, Baekhyun-n-’ He ignored your cry, tongue still swirling around the tiny area while his eyes studied your face. ‘God- damn you.’
He released it slowly, licking his sufficiently wet lips afterward.
‘Shall I move on to the other one?’ He inquired with a ghost of a smile on his face, noting how quickly he was making you disintegrate with simple petting.
‘Wait!’ You pressed on his chest to have him lie back.
The further delay seemed impossible. Reaching down, you quickly moved your panties out of the way and pressed the tip of his fully hard cock to your leaking entrance. Your fingers were instantly slick with your own arousal, and Baekhyun could only groan as he slipped inside you effortlessly. His hips jerked voluntarily, and you yelped at the intense yet welcomed sensation.
‘Sorry… Couldn’t help it.’ Your lover’s hand patted your thigh apologetically, and you shook your head.
‘Just- give me a second,’ you muttered, clenching down on him. ‘It’s been a while…’
He stroked your thigh up and down for a bit, probably reining his desires in. You could feel the twitch of his length in a tight lock of your walls.
Seeing something in your eyes, Baekhyun moved to sit up with you still in his lap. You met him halfway, finding his lips already waiting for yours. The kiss was deep and slow, accompanied by the caress of his hands on your back and waist. You were so consumed by it that you didn’t even notice when your hips started rocking.
But your hunger grew exponentially, and just minutes later the leisured pace couldn’t keep you satisfied anymore.
‘Baekhyun,’ you whined, too overwhelmed and loved-up in your chase after pleasure.
Holding on to his firm shoulders, you threw your head back. He continued pressing kisses into the damp skin of your chest, kneading your ass with one of his hands simultaneously. The position wasn’t the most convenient, but the affection you received was worth every strain on your muscles.
‘Baekhyun, please…’ You sobbed the anticipation building and slipping out of grasp again.
Somehow, he understood what your plea implied. It was time for him to take charge, and you were ready to give him the opportunity to do so.
And it seemed like he was only waiting for the opening.
Your partner was quick to fling you onto the bed. Before you knew it, your panties were on the floor, and he was between your legs, spreading them wider. His first thrust made you whimper with its steadiness and intensity, and so did the second and the third.
‘I got you, baby.’ His voice seemed lower, void of teasing now and laced with fondness and passion.
‘Mmh-’ You arched your back, thighs quivering in pleasure around his middle.
‘Fuck,’ he swore, enduring your tightness and going hard to bring you to your release as fast as possible. ‘Fuck, Y/N-ie…’
‘B-Baekhyun…’ You hiccupped while he reached the spots inside you that made your eyes roll backward. ‘I’m close…’
Your hand slipped down his sweaty back, and the pounding became so precise that you felt tears prick your eyes.
‘Mm-baby, you need to come,’ Baekhyun growled into your ear, breathing heavily. ‘You’re too fucking tight.’
Shrieking as if in pain, you clawed at his shoulder to keep him in place, still teetering on the edge of your release.
‘Ah- yes, yes,’ You cried out as he gave you his all, bottoming out each time, sweat running down his face. ‘Baekhyun!’
His hold on you became rigid while you writhed through your high. He slowed down and kept jerking his hips forward to allow you to milk every drop of your pleasure until you couldn’t take it anymore. Both of your breathing was loud and labored, and it took you some time to be fully reinstated in reality. Slowly, the sensory feedback deciphered, and you noticed how sweaty you were. It was also still slick and swollen between your legs. In fact, you seemed to all be covered in bodily fluids, but that couldn’t detract from your level of satisfaction.
‘Wow,’ you heard Baekhyun say from beside you. ‘I really risked it all for this. Hey, was it worth it?’
You blinked at him several times, brain too slow to catch his meaning.
‘Your orgasm,’ he added, snorting at your absentmindedness. ‘I barely managed to pull out on time.’
Smiling weakly at his statement, you licked your dry lips.
‘I’m glad you have so much more willpower than me…’ You flinched as he wiped his cum off your lower belly before pulling the covers over you.
‘What willpower? I’ve never had so little.’ Baekhyun hummed, moving closer to you and invading your pillow. ‘I don’t have sex without condoms. And I generally last longer, but you almost made me bust a nut before you.’
‘Oh damn, I feel special,’ you chuckled, loving how his fingers caressed your face while brushing your hair back.
‘You are, Y/N-ie,’ he murmured, leaning in and kissing you. ‘I assume round two is for later?’
‘Later??’
‘I’ll give you till morning,’ he suggested playfully.
‘I need to shower first. And rest.’
‘Why do all that when you can just come again?’
‘Stop talking like that, or I will marry you.’ You fired at him, squirming under the influence of his affectionate touching.
‘Great thinking. Then I won’t have to pull out.’
You gasped, causing him to laugh.
‘It’s alright. We’re only a bit too young to become parents. But you know, my hyung was younger than me when he became a father. That was by accident, though.’ He paused for a second. ‘Come to think of it, I’m not a big expert on pulling out, so who knows how it’s gonna-’
‘Baekhyun?’
‘Hm?’
‘Shut up.’
Masterlist
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A/N: Okay, here goes!! Just another installment left to finish this mini-series, how are we feeling?? Hehe As usual, big thanks for your messages and comments, I appreciate all of the feedback from you my darlings💜💜💜
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kaciidubs · 9 months
Text
My Mrs. Claus | 8 Days of SKZcember 2023
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Prompt: "ho ho holy shit you look good." lmao im so sorry
❣ Summary: Who didn't want to make a statement for one of the final parties of the year? ❣  ❣ Word Count: 986 ❣ Warnings: Fluff, humor, slight suggestiveness, Jisung is a flirt but he means well ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Han is referred to as Jisung, Ji, and Baby, Reader is referred to as Jagi, Mrs. Claus, unedited ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣ SKZcember 2023
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It was your favorite time of the year; the annual JYP Family Christmas Party finally making its appearance - a somewhat under the radar event started by a few of the seniors of the company as an opportunity for all of the artists and staff to have a night of celebrating the year’s accomplishments and catch up with friends they wouldn’t usually be able to catch up with.
Sometimes faces from other companies make an appearance, but the majority would always be JYP signed artists and even trainees - though they would only be allowed to stick around for the early hours of the party.
This year you planned to do it big - well, not big, big, but big to where you found yourself staring at a red sweater dress and a black leather belt to go across the middle currently laid out on your bed; a classic rendition of the jolly old Saint Nick, but cuter.
“You know the party starts in two hours, right?”
Rolling your eyes, you looked toward the closed door of your bedroom, as if you would miraculously gain x-ray vision to see your boyfriend on the other side. “Yes, Ji, I know!”
“And you know we said we’d meet the others before heading there, right?”
You scoffed, turning toward your vanity to start a simple makeup look, “I know - I don’t even know why you decided to come here to get ready, I could’ve just met you at the 3Racha plus Artist dorm.”
Even with the door shut, you could picture his offended expression paired with the pointedly loud gasp he made sure you would hear.
“And have to find out what my beautiful, amazing girlfriend is wearing at the same time as my friends? No way! That’s cruel and unusual punishment, Jagi.”
“Then you should know,” you started, pausing for a moment to apply foundation around your mouth and chin, “the more you talk to me, the longer I’m gonna take to get ready!”
“Can’t you just let me inside? I won’t do anything but watch!”
“Han Jisung.”
“Fine, fine - I’m going! I’ll be on the other side of the door, scared, cold, and so, so lonely.”
“Alexa, volume seven, please.”
The sound of your music grew louder, effectively putting a pacifier on Jisung’s teasing antics as you continued getting ready for the party.
It didn’t take long for you to finish your makeup and hair, and by the time you shimmied into your dress, there was a little more than an hour left on your metaphorical timer.
“Okay, baby, you can come i-”
The door swung open at lightning speed, Jisung all but falling through the doorway as he eagerly scanned your room, “Finally! Took you forever, I thought I was gonna-” His eyes landed on your form and they widened instantly, lips falling into a small ‘o’ as he took you in fully.
Bristling at the sudden attention, you found yourself consciously tugging at the hem of the dress, though it fell respectfully just above your knees, “Is it too much? I bought this not too long ago when I realized it matches your sweater and-”
“Ho, ho, holy shit, you look good!” Barely even acknowledging your nervous rambling, he made his way toward you, a wide smile growing on his lips, “Jagi, you look- wow, look at you!”
A sheepish laugh floated past your lips as you reached for the belt to top off the outfit, easily sliding it around your waist and fastening it. “Alright, alright, you don’t have to gas me up, Ji.”
“Gas you up? Baby, I don’t need a reason to gas you up, you’re already on fire!” He let out a low whistle, scanning you up and down as if you were a priceless find, “Mrs. Claus, can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want instead?”
“Jisung!” You laughed, fanning yourself in hopes of alleviating the heat of his stare and his equally heated compliments. “It’s really nothing, I’m sure there’s gonna be other people more dressed up than I am.”
“You really think that would matter to me? You could’ve dressed as the Grinch and I’d still think you were the hottest one in the room.” Walking closer to you, he slid his hands onto your hips, fingers welcoming the soft cotton dress, “You look beautiful, Jagi, really.”
Cooing softly, you leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips, being mindful to not smudge the red lipstick that currently painted your lips, “Thank you, baby - you look handsome too.”
Sharing one final kiss, you slipped your way out of his arms before he could be compelled to steal another kiss that would set you both back longer than necessary.
“I just need to put on my heels and we’ll be out, okay?”
“Whatever you say, Mrs. Claus, I’m just your humble elf servant here to do anything you need me to.”
Grabbing one of your black boots from the floor, you looked up at him with an arched brow, “You don’t want to be Mr. Claus?”
A sly smirk creeped its way onto his face as he shook his head, ash brown hair tickling his forehead at the motion, “Nah, Mrs. Claus getting with one of her helper elves is a way hotter concept.”
You hummed slowly, nodding your head as you slipped on your shoe, “Right, right, we’ll unpack that thought later.”
Putting on your other shoe, you were officially ready to meet with the other boys; grabbing a jacket from the closet while Jisung handled your purse and a pair of flats ‘just in case’.
“Jagi, you mind letting the guys know we’re leaving now?” Jisung called as he made sure the van was ready outside.
Humming in acknowledgement, you unlocked your phone to send a swift text to the combined group chat.
You: Mrs. Claus and her Elf are on their way 🎄
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✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @goblinracha, @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @j-onedrabbles, @happilydeepestwonderland, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @sometimesleeknows, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @maximumkillshot, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @specialstay, @broken-glowsticks, @s00buwu, @dancerachaslut, @junglyric, @tinyelfperson, @jj-stay, @katsukis1wife, @inlovewithmusician, @keen-li, @armystay89, @main-character0, @vampcharxter, @ddyskz, @prettymiye0n
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whatsnewalycat · 1 year
Text
Psychomanteum / Chapter 11
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x OFC (2nd POV)
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Chapter 11: Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings
Chapter Summary: The first day in LA is a mixed bag.
Rating: Explicit (18+ only)
Word Count: 11.8k+
Content / Warnings: alternating pov, insecurities, mirror, angst, fluff, acting career things idk, video call, awkward/nervous speech patterns, toxic mother/family of origin issues, food/eating/hunger, argument, mentions of: infidelity, addiction, death, and infertility, crying, comfort sex, dirty talk, eating ass, oral sex (both r) face fucking, deep throating, squirting, anal play and sex, impact play, hair pulling, maybe a hint of degradation
Notes: Chapter title from "Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings" by Father John Misty. Oooo a new banner, who is she?! I apologize for how long this is, it really got outta hand. Thank you for reading!!!
[ Tag List ] [ AO3 ] [ Spotify Playlist ] [ Series Masterlist ]
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“Holy shit, Dee,” you breathe, squinting as your eyes adjust from the darkness of the garage to the bright, open home. 
Dieter walks ahead of you, tossing his keys and sunglasses on a glass console table, kicking his shoes off onto the gleaming hardwood floor. Each noise seems amplified in the jarring silence. 
It smells like lemon pine-sol, and, based on how uncharacteristically spotless everything appears, you guess that he has someone come in and clean while he’s away. 
“It’s–I mean, wow–” you stammer, shaking your head as you examine your surroundings. 
The vaulted ceiling’s stained teak backbone stretches from one end of the house to the other, rafters extending from the beam like wooden ribs. On one side of you lies a dining room and kitchen, on the other, a living room and patio entrance. Light pours in through the living room’s floor-to-ceiling windows like giant frames showcasing the greenery of the patio, all lush with palm fronds and waxy-leaved bushes. 
The home’s décor is quintessential Dieter. 
Eclectic. Moody. Maximalist. 
Jewel- and earth-toned furniture, in all different finishes and fabrics, fill the open floor plan. The white walls are cluttered by art, a hodgepodge of creations. Prints and acrylic paintings and black ink illustrations, including some of Dieter’s originals. Plants are scattered around, next to windows and on tables, thriving in their glazed ceramic pots. 
Your fingers twitch, longing to experience every texture this buffet of materials has to offer. You feel yourself getting a little moon-eyed as you marvel at the place he calls home. It’s surreal.
And, if you’re being honest, daunting. 
When Dieter spends time with you in your domain, you feel you know him at his core. A loveable, chaotic, free spirit, who busies himself sketching and “taste testing” while you bake. Which mostly just means he eats cookies off the cooling rack when he thinks you’re not looking, but sometimes he draws pictures of you while he does it. 
You know him as someone who watches shitty TV and shittier movies with you just so you can make fun of them together, someone who theorizes out-loud about existentialism and Garfield in the same breath, who wraps himself around you when you sleep because, even when he’s dreaming, he wants your skin clinging to his. 
You don’t know him as Dieter Bravo, Academy Award Winning Actor. 
No. 
To you, he’s Dee. The man you fell in love with so haphazardly, it sometimes makes you question your own sanity. 
The existence of this other part of his life, with film sets and photoshoots and interviews and stylists and red carpet premieres, all these stringent show pony requirements, so paradoxical to the person you know and love… It makes you uneasy. 
Is he different when he’s here? 
Is Dieter Bravo, Hollywood Movie Star, the same man as Dee, Bubble Bath Connoisseur?
It’s something you’ve largely been able to ignore. 
But, since you’re being honest, you can admit that the disparities between his life and yours make your skin crawl sometimes. 
Like right now, when you’re standing here in the entryway of his gorgeous home, whose property value is probably greater than your lifetime’s gross income, holding the handle of your ratty old carry-on suitcase. Your piece of shit suitcase, with its broken zipper, and this big tear in the side.  
Which, really, has never bothered you before. It’s a goddamn suitcase. It holds things from point a to point b, and this works just fine. 
But Dieter has this ridiculous fucking suitcase with a heavy-duty metallic shell, and 360-degree wheels that glide effortlessly through airports, and a fucking phone charger. A fucking phone charger in a suitcase, seriously?
It’s just so… exactly how you fucking feel standing next to him sometimes. 
And, as if to prove your point, when you release the handle of your piece of shit carry-on, it topples over sideways against his space-age phone charger on wheels. 
All you can do is sigh. Stare at luggage. Try to ignore the voice that bombards your thoughts, telling you he’s obviously out of your league. 
Sneering at you, saying, “Get real, this fucking guy is way too rich to be humoring you.”
Saying, “Louella Rose, once he knows you’re trash, he’ll be gone for good, I can tell you that much.”
“Want me to show you around?” Dieter asks, the low timbre of his voice a butter knife cutting through the thick fog of your thoughts. He steps closer and plants his wide palm on the small of your back. 
You turn to him with a smile you know is flaccid, but nod, “Lead the way.” 
He studies you for a moment, dark eyes darting around your face, no doubt sensing the apprehension you can’t shake, and proves your suspicion true when he asks, “What’s wrong?”
Your throat tightens and you drop your gaze to the colorful entryway rug beneath your feet, shaking your head as you admit, “I—I don’t know. I’m… kind of freaking out, I think,” your voice cracks, and words start to tumble from your mouth, “I just keep thinking that I don’t belong here, like I’m too fucking poor to be doing this, I mean, to be here, and-and I’m so fucking nervous that I’m gonna fuck this up somehow—”
“Hey, come on,” Dieter coos, one hand settling at your waist, the other brushing against your cheek, “Look at me, Lua.”
You do. 
His eyes bore into yours, unblinking and sincere, “It’s gonna be ok. I promise.”
Your brows press together and you swallow hard, then nod. 
“We’re gonna do this stupid interview, which you’re gonna fucking nail–”
You look away. 
He tilts your chin towards his face again, refusing to let you hide, repeating, “Which you’re gonna fucking nail. You know why?”
You just stare at him, half-expecting him to say because you have to or I won’t love you anymore, but instead, he says, “Because you are fucking amazing, Louella. You are brilliant, and gorgeous, and genuine, and hilarious, and capable of fucking anything. Ok?”
His words, so sure and earnest, soothe your inflamed sense of worthlessness. 
A burning sensation works up your throat, then spreads behind your eyes. Hot tears roll down your cheeks. You wipe them away with the back of your hand and croak, “Don’t say things like that to me, it’s too sweet and makes me cry.”
“Listen here, doll,” he cups your face and raises his eyebrows, a mischievous grin playing on his lips, “I’ll compliment you as much as I goddamn please.”
You let out a wet, nasally chuckle and link your hands behind his neck, then sniffle, “Fine. I guess. If you say so.”
“That’s what I thought,” he mumbles. His thumbs work against your damp cheeks as he brings his lips to yours, gentle and soft. 
When he pulls back, he clears his throat and turns back to the vacant house, “Alright, sweet cheeks, let’s give you the official tour.”
The term of endearment makes you laugh and shake your head, “Dieter, I swear to god–” 
He grabs your hand and tugs you onward, ignoring your feigned protest. 
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At the tail end of the tour, Dieter swings open the door to his spacious bedroom. You recognize the tall, chartreuse walls and the puffy white linens tucked around his bed. 
Of all the rooms in his house, including the art studio set up down the hall, this is the one that feels the most like Dee. It’s a little messy, but in a lived-in way you expect from him. Relatively no-frills. Comfortable. Homey. It smells like him, not like lemon pine-sol. 
You gravitate towards a chest of drawers that sits opposite his bed, grinning at a pile of rings, lighters, coins, and crumpled up cash. A big, rectangular mirror mounted on the wall above it catches your attention. 
All kinds of paper mementos are stuffed into the mirror’s frame. Your eyes wander along the edge, stopping to study a picture of him, much younger and more angular than he appears now, with a woman whose bright, dimpled smile matches his. 
“Is that your mom?” you ask, pointing to it. 
“Yeah,” he walks behind you and wraps his arms around your middle, tucking your shoulder under his chin, watching you through the mirror as your eyes leapfrog to each little piece of him.
A ticket stub to a Prince concert at Madison Square Garden in July 2004. 
An old polaroid of two dark-haired young boys roller skating. 
“Tomás?” 
“Mhmm.”
You tilt your head and frown, “Can I ask you something?” 
“No,” he deadpans, blinking at you through the mirror. 
“Shut up,” you snort, then ask, “Why the fuck are you named Dieter?”
He laughs at this, throwing his head back to boom at the ceiling before returning to your reflected gaze. 
“I mean, I’m sorry—It’s just so…”
“White?” he smirks. 
“Yes!” you laugh, covering your mouth, “Is that your real name?!”
“No,” he grins, then shrugs, “Well, legally it is. But my parents named me Manuel Diego Soto Flores. Diego is what everyone called me.”
“Stop it, oh my god. You are blowing my fucking mind right now,” you shake your head at the whiplash this information gives you, then pause, “Wait, why did you change it?”
“My agent suggested I use a stage name way back when. Dieter Bravo sounded cool,” he explains, and chuckles a little as he tells you, “I got in an argument with my folks about it when work started picking up, and legally changed it just to piss them off.”
“Wow,” you raise your eyebrows and laugh, “That is… truly petty.” 
“That it is,” he sighs, his smile faltering. 
“So, what am I supposed to call you? Diego? Dieter?” you smirk, meeting his gaze in the mirror. 
“Dee,” he answers, “I like Dee.”
“I can do that.”
You hold his gaze for a few moments, relishing the heat that swells in your chest, then resume your study of his artifacts, squinting to read the faded black ink of a few movie stubs lined up together: Eyes Wide Shut, Donnie Darko, The Departed, Fight Club, Whiplash, Titanic, Toy Story 3. 
Next to them, you spot a wrinkled brown paper square, etched with unruly black ink strokes into a blueberry branch. You tilt your head at it, then glance down at the blueberry branch tattooed on your forearm. 
Your eyes flick to the reflection of Dieter’s face and find him already staring at you. A question creases your forehead, and he answers with a shrug. Tingles spread across your belly. You smooth your hand against his and leave it there. 
“Look, I printed the ones from the elevator,” he chuckles, pointing to a picture of the two of you stuffed into one side of the mirror’s frame, stone-faced, black grease paint and mascara co-mingling with red lipstick, smudged all over your mouths and cheeks. Below that, the shot Dieter took a second later when you both broke, faces lit up with laughter, eyes bent up into barely visible crescents. 
“Oh my god,” you laugh, hand flying to your mouth, “Come on, we have way cuter pictures than those.”
“Those are my favorite, though,” he smiles, kisses your cheek, then tucks your shoulder back under his chin.
You shake your head and sigh, grinning as you tell him, “Fuck, I like you.”
“Yeah?” he snorts, “You think so?”
You nod, rubbing your thumb against his. 
“I like you, too,” he murmurs. 
“Thank god, or this would be really awkward,” you joke as you return your gaze to the relics framing his mirror. 
A snapshot of him, a generation younger, all gaunt and baby-faced, leaning against a high top table crowded with half-empty cups, ice cube islands rising from brown mixed drinks. Two young men across the table from him, his arm draped around a young woman’s shoulders. All four of them glow with a boozy shine, wide and carefree smiles stretched across their faces. 
“Who’re these people?”
“Old friends from my theater days in New York,” he murmurs, “I don’t talk to them much anymore. There’s Glenn, you might’ve met him.”
He points to a tan guy with a brown pompadour and a very punchable face, who’s wearing a baby blue polo shirt and holding up his middle finger. 
You sift through your memory for someone who might have looked like that fifteen or twenty years ago, but come up blank and shake your head, “I don’t think so.”
“He was at Katie’s party that one night, and, uhh… actually, I almost brought him up to your apartment the first time I met you, but he was being an asshole and wouldn’t get out of the car.” 
“Not ringing any bells,” you frown, “Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve met any of your friends.”
His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth, then he mutters, “Well, I would certainly introduce you to them. If I had any.” 
You try to think of a contradiction to this statement, racking your brain for an instance of him at least hinting at the existence of a friend. 
“What about all the people you party with?”
“Haven't done much of that lately. Besides,” he cocks an eyebrow and curls his lip, “Those aren’t friends. Never were. And, uhh… I did a solid job alienating my real friends a long time ago.” 
You look at him through the mirror. 
His eyes are all dull and forlorn. Far away. 
A sharp pain splits your sternum. 
You wriggle around to face him, cupping his cheeks, brushing your thumbs against his patchy beard until he meets your eyes again. Then you tell him, “I’m your friend. Parker’s your friend. You’re not alone anymore, ok?”
His shoulders slump and eyebrows thread together, molding his features into this tender expression that makes your stomach flip and chest ache. 
He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tight. You slide your hands to the back of his head to comb your fingers through his soft curls. 
A commotion erupts at the other end of the house. The front door opening and closing. Rustling and conversation. A feminine voice echoes down the hall, calling, “Hello?” 
“That must be them,” he murmurs, and starts away, but you pull him back. You wrap your arms around his midsection and bury your face against his t-shirt. 
“Wait, just… a little bit longer,” you say, closing your eyes to soak up the warmth from his body. It seeps into your bloodstream and feels like sunshine in your veins. He rests his head against your hair, taking a deep breath in, and you feel his body relax again. 
The clack-clack-clack sound of heels against the hardwood floor draws closer, but the two of you just stand there, all wrapped up in the other, until someone crosses the threshold to his room, comes to a stop, and says, “Oh, you are here.”
You part and turn towards the intrusion: A neatly made-up, petite, brunette woman wearing a fitted navy blue pantsuit. 
“Darlene,” Dieter greets, crossing the room to envelop her in a one-armed hug. They press a chaste kiss into the other’s cheek. He returns to your side, palm sliding against the small of your back, and introduces you both, “Darlene, Louella, Louella, Darlene.”
You meet her meticulous hazel eyes and smile wide, outstretching your hand to shake hers, “Hi, so nice to meet you.” 
She reaches out and accepts the invitation. Both your gazes drop to study the contrast of your hands. Hers are dainty, soft, blemish-free; adorned with shiny, blush pink fingernails smoothed to rounded tips. Yours bear the scars and calluses earned by over a dozen years of baking, your naked, short fingernails hosting jagged edges from nervous biting. 
When you step back, heat creeps up the back of your neck. She looks so… unimpressed. Annoyed, even. The barely perceptible twitch of her thin eyebrow cocking, lip curling, eyes flicking around your person like she’s identifying weak spots. Then she plasters on a polite smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and asks, “Do you prefer Louella or Lua?” 
“I don’t care,” you chuckle nervously, “Lou, Lua, Louella, whatever you want.”
You glance at Dieter, swallowing hard. He smooths his thumb against your spine.
“I’ll call you Louella,” Darlene decides with a quick nod, then looks from you, to Dieter, “Should we get started? We have a lot of work to do.” 
On your way to the dining room, you cross paths with a short, curvy woman whose brown, tightly coiled hair bounces around her round face as she hauls two thick garment bags into a bedroom. She peaks over the luggage and calls, “Oh, hi!” when she spots you. 
She spins on the heel of her beige pumps to face you, shifting the bags to one hip, “Louella, right?” 
“Yeah,” you smile and wave at her. 
“Kelly,” her hot pink lips stretch into a bright smile and she shakes your hand, looking you up and down before diverting her dark eyes to Dieter, “Nice catch, Bravo.” 
Dieter smirks at the comment, eyeing her tenuous grip on the bags, “Need some help?”
She just scoffs and raises an eyebrow at him before spinning around and starting down the hallway. Dieter shrugs after her, then ushers you into the dining room, where a frantic looking young man is setting out three labeled mint green to-go boxes on the stained oak table, assigning seats to you, Dieter, and Darlene. 
“Lua, this is Lincoln, my PA,” Dieter gestures between the two of you, “Lincoln this is Lua, my girlfriend.”
“Hi,” Lincoln tucks a strand of dark blonde hair behind his ear and leans his tall frame across the table, extending his hand. 
“Nice to meet you, Lincoln,” you meet his ocean blue eyes as you take it in yours and shake it. Dieter settles into his assigned dining room chair, leaning back against the burnt orange suede. You take your seat next to him. 
“Nice to meet you, too,” Lincoln flashes a quick smile, then glances from Dieter, back to you, “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 
“Oh yeah?” you grin over at Dieter, who’s crossing his ankle over his knee, watching you with amusement, and tell Lincoln, “Good things, I hope.”
“Terrible things,” Dieter teases, letting his head dangle to one side. 
“Nothing but the utmost praise,” Lincoln insists.
A nutty aroma wafts up from the box with your name on it. You recognize the briny sharpness and name it, “Oh, fuck, did you get us pad thai?”
“It’s from that place you wanted to try,” Dieter tells you. 
You wiggle and clap your hands together, reaching for the box as Darlene approaches the table. Lincoln scurries into the kitchen and makes himself look busy. She sits down with a sense of urgency that makes you fold your hands in your lap and sit up straighter. 
“Here’s the plan,” she pushes the takeout box away, leaning over her open notebook, “Interview with DIRT at 4:00 today. Louella, we’ll practice your answers for a bit, then Kelly will help you pick some clothes,” her eyes flick from the notebook, to you, then to Dieter, and she says, “While you’re in town, I think it’ll be good for the two of you to be seen in public together, but I have some ground rules—”
“Jesus Christ, Darlene,” Dieter groans, scrubbing his hands over his face as he leans his elbows onto the table, “What are we, teenagers?”
“Well, Dieter, play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” she blinks at him.
“What the fuck does that mean?” he scoffs.
“It means,” she snips, zeroing in on him, “With all the bullshit you’ve pulled in the past year, you’re not exactly rolling in prospects, are you?”
He doesn’t say anything in response, just clenches his jaw. 
She continues, “It’s a goddamn miracle you managed to land that Mike Flannigan job—”
You turn to him and gasp, “You got it?!” 
This big, giddy smile spreads across his face when he meets your eyes and nods, “Yeah.”
“But he could lose it if this doesn’t go right,” Darlene advises, pulling your attention to her. She shoots a glare from you to Dieter, “So we’re going to follow my direction, right?” 
Your face falls and you clear your throat, then stammer, “Y—yeah, of course.” 
Dieter shifts in his seat, pressing his mouth against his clasped hands. 
“As I was saying,” Darlene continues, raising an eyebrow as she drops her gaze to the notebook, “You’re both to be on your best behavior while in public. No drugs, no parties, no more than a glass of wine, no public fornication. We’re going full Disney rules of conduct, ok?”
When Darlene blinks up at you, you nod, “No problem.” 
“Alright, let’s rehearse some Q&A,” she sighs, turning her attention back to her notebook. 
She runs through questions the interviewer might ask, reconstructing your answers from nervous ramblings into practiced statements. It’s like a mental boot camp the way she attacks this, and, honestly, it’s quite impressive. 
When Darlene is confident you won’t respond to questions like: “How did you and Dieter meet?” with answers like: “We dropped acid in a closet with my best friend,” the drills cease. Just when you think you’re safe to open that mint green box with your name on it, Darlene stands from the table, “Alright, let’s go see what Kelly has for you.”
You have to physically restrain yourself from pouting as she starts off down the hall. 
“Here, quick,” Dieter shoves his open container of pad thai in your hands. You manage to take a few bites before Darlene comes back to see where she lost you. 
“Coming, sorry,” you swallow and give it back to him. 
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Darlene and Kelly decide you’re wearing a balloon-sleeved white silk blouse and a high-waisted, billowing, floral skirt that comes down to your ankles. 
Once your makeup and hair are styled, and you're all done up and presentable, not unlike a feral mutt turned show dog, Darlene holds her hand out to you, palm facing the ceiling, and says, “You’ll have to take off your wedding ring.” 
“Oh,” you frown at her, then at the simple gold band on your left hand’s ring finger. With a heavy blue sigh, you slide it off your finger, and drop it in her extended hand. 
When you emerge from the bedroom, Darlene trailing behind you, Dieter is pacing the length of the living room, dressed in a short-sleeved white button-up and navy blue slacks. He spots you and stops in his tracks. A grin spreads across his face, “Oh wow, look at you.” 
“Look at you,” you counter, matching his smile as you look him up and down. 
He wipes his hands on his pants, then strides over to you and kisses you. His lips are eager when they meet yours. You link your hands at the nape of his neck and arch your back into him, losing yourself momentarily. When he pulls back, he presses his forehead against yours and murmurs, “You look like… a sexy kindergarten teacher. I like it.”
You laugh and shake your head, “Oh yeah, this is doing it for you?”
“Fuck yeah it is,” he rumbles, then grips your waist and kisses you again.
“Alright, it’s almost time,” Darlene prods impatiently from a few feet away, “Where’s your laptop?”
Dieter mutters something under his breath, then steps back from your embrace and tells her, “I’ll go get it.” 
As he goes off down the hall, you plop down on the overstuffed couch. Its deep, rich brown leather feels buttery soft against the small sections of your exposed skin. You cross your legs, smoothing the soft fabric of your skirt over your knees, “Is it a video call?” 
Darlene takes a cursory glance in the direction Dieter went, then sits down next to you, her words hushed and serious as they flee her lips, “Louella, his career is teetering on the edge of a cliff right now. One more blow could send the whole thing crashing down. Do you understand how important it is that this goes well?” 
An icy rush of panic floods your veins. You meet her hazel eyes and nod. 
“Good,” she says, searching your face, “Don’t fuck it up.” 
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Lincoln and Kelly leave for the day once everything is set up. Darlene stages you and Dieter hip-to-hip in the middle of his couch, then starts pacing behind the laptop, occupying a strip of the living room’s black- and white-striped rug between the glass top coffee table and a black brick-faced wood fireplace. 
Pixelated face pops up on Dieter’s laptop screen. You can make out David Alterman’s egg-shaped bald head and thick-rimmed glasses. He says, “Hello hello, how are we doing today?” 
“Pleasure to see you,” Dieter gives a nod and drapes his arm over your shoulders. You flash a smile to the computer and wave. 
David continues, “I just want to start by saying thank you for meeting with me today. On the phone earlier, Darlene said that there were some things you wanted to discuss regarding your new friend.” 
“Girlfriend,” Dieter corrects, glances at you, then back at the screen, “There was an article by your, uhh… publication speculating who she is. We wanted to go on record and introduce her, get it all out in the open.”
“Fantastic. Well, the floor is yours.”
Dieter clears his throat and squeezes your shoulder.
“Oh, ok—um, hi, my name is Louella,” your voice comes out too loud, and your heart starts pumping heat through your body, up your neck, across your face. You wriggle in your seat and explain, “Sorry, I’m really nervous, I’ve never done anything like this before.” 
David chuckles, “That’s ok, dear. Why don’t you start by telling me how the two of you met?” 
Your eyes flick to Darlene in the background, following her moving form. She gives you a nod of encouragement. You take a deep breath. 
“We met at Katie’s party in February. My best friend, Parker, convinced me to go, and, yeah, I ended up meeting Dee there,” a big smile stretches across your face as you explain, “I remember meeting him, and I felt this connection to him like,” you snap your fingers, “right away. It was fucking bananas—er, sorry, regular bananas. But. It was like I had known him my whole life or something, you know? We—me, Parker, and Dee—spent the night together,” at this, you see David’s bushy brown eyebrows perk up, and your cheeks start burning, “N-not like that, like sexual or anything, we just talked and joked around. Instant friends. It was so much fun. And, you know, it’s funny, because I didn’t even know he was an actor—”
“You didn’t?” David frowns. 
“No,” you chuckle, “The next morning when we were all getting breakfast there was this guy taking pictures of us eating pancakes, which I thought was fu—um, weird, but then Dee and Parker explained… Well, y’know. Paparazzi and all that.” 
“Is that when you started dating?” 
“No,” you shake your head, glancing down to your hands, “We were just friends for a few months before that started. My, um… my husband died about a year ago in a car accident, so I was… not in a hurry to start any kind of romantic relationship.” 
Your thumb rolls along the seam of your finger that’s usually covered by your wedding band. 
“And yet, here we are. What changed?” 
“I fell in love with him,” you explain, flicking your gaze from Dieter, who squeezes your shoulder, then straight into the camera, “You know when you meet someone and it’s like… they vibrate on the same frequency as you or whatever? Like they were made to be in your life? It was like that. I don’t know, it was fucking crazy. Shit, sorry for swearing—”
“It’s fine,” David says, “I’ll edit it out.”
You release a relieved sigh, “Ok. Well, anyway, I wasn’t—I mean, neither of us were expecting this to happen. But it did. So I took a chance on him, on us, and… yeah. I’m so glad I did.” 
“That’s great,” David smiles at the camera, then looks down at his notes, “So you said the two of you met at Katie’s party—Is that Katie Wainwright?”
“Yes,” you answer. It takes all your energy to remain neutral. To keep your body from twitching in discomfort at the mention of her. 
“Are the two of you friends? Do you run in those circles?”
“Oh, no,” you snort and shake your head, “Parker is a drag performer, under the stage name Jackie Lantern, and knows quite a few theater folks in New York. It’s all him. I was just tagging along.”
“I see. And what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a baker.” 
“Pastry artist,” Dieter interjects, leaning forward, “She makes some of the best goddamn pastries I’ve ever had in my life.” 
You beam at this. He gives you an encouraging little wink that makes your heart skip a beat. 
“Oh, you have a bakery?” 
“No,” you say with a little too much haste, then stammer, “Well, not really. It’s not a brick and mortar store or anything. I run it out of my apartment. But, I’d love to—you know, someday, open a bakery.” 
“Sounds like a good investment for your boyfriend to make,” David hints.
“Oh, no, I’m not,” you clear your throat and shake your head, “I want to do it myself.” 
“Independent,” David observes, then looks down to his notes, “Dieter has had a lot of big changes in his personal life this past year as well, with his divorce to Anika, and the scandals surrounding it. Do you worry that those patterns are bound to repeat themselves?”
Dieter’s body tenses beside you. 
You furrow your brow and frown slightly, then glance up to Darlene, whose stare can only be described as a warning. 
Downshifting your face from confusion to thoughtfulness, you answer, “I think… We both have pasts that present challenges in our relationship. It’s not exactly easy-breezy all the time, but that’s the thing with love, right? You take the person, demons and all, and choose to love them anyway?”
David jots down some notes. Your guts twist when you recognize the opportunity to do what you came here to do. 
“And, you know, speaking of which, one of the things I wanted to bring up during this interview is that I—um, I have a criminal record,” you swallow hard and turn to look at Dieter. 
He takes his arm from your shoulder and closes his hands into fists, thumbs pointed upward as he presses them together and draws a circle with them. 
Together. 
Warmth washes over you and you smile at him. He slides his palm against yours and interlaces his fingers with yours. 
“Oh?” 
You turn back to the laptop and sigh, “Yeah. I was arrested in 2018 on drug trafficking charges. I was convicted of a felony—and, you know, I didn’t have to serve any hard time or anything, just probation, thank fucking god, and I’ve changed a lot since then, but it’s still… still a factor,” you drop your gaze to your lap and shrug, “And, of course, the dead husband thing is a considerable amount of baggage. We live across the country from each other. There’s—there’s a lot that’s difficult about this. But I still think that what we have together is so fucking worth it.” 
“It is,” Dieter confirms, giving your hand an encouraging squeeze. 
“Thank you for being so open about this, Louella. This must be hard for you to do,” David says in a monotone voice, not looking up from his note taking. 
“You have no idea,” you release a big, elated sigh, “But, like mentioned Dieter earlier, we don’t want people to think we’re trying to hide any of this, because we’re not. We’re just trying to move forward together.” 
“I appreciate your honesty,” David says mildly, looks down to his notes, then squints up at the computer, clicking around as he tells you, “Now, after DIRT published the article questioning your identity, we received a call. I’m going to play that for you now…”
You glance from Dieter, to Darlene. Their confused expressions match yours. 
“My name is Hannah—”
Your stomach drops to the floor. You whisper, “Fuck.”
“—I hear you’re trying to figure out who this woman is with Dieter Bravo. Well, I can tell you, that’s my daughter. Her name is Louella Rose Friedman. Now I don’t know what the hell she thinks she’s doing with this man, but I do not approve. I mean, really now, her husband died less than a year ago!”
Static tingles in your ligaments and fills your lungs. Your head shakes back and forth in protest, but her shrill voice continues to project across the room, scraping against your eardrums. 
Dieter releases your hand and leans forward, trying to speak over the recording, warning, “Ok, David, that’s enough—”
“And this man? Dieter Bravo? Just like him from what I can tell. And I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but—”
Everything moves far away in an instant as your mind disconnects from your body. A high-pitched ringing noise dulls the noises around you. 
From far away, your mom says, “He had a problem with drugs, you know, big problem, had other women, too.”
“Stop,” Dieter grinds out over your mother’s recorded voice.
“Lost his goddamn mind, tried to kill them both—”
Darlene scrambles over to the laptop and turns it towards her, “David, this is Darlene—”
“I just don’t understand what that girl thinks she’s doing getting involved with someone like this again, especially so soon?” 
“No, nope,” Dieter stands, then booms, “This ends right FUCKING now!” 
The sudden snap of him slamming the laptop shut and the dead silence that follows jolts you like a cattle-prod.
You flee the living room, down the hallway, into Dieter’s bedroom, then dial her number. 
She picks up on the second ring. 
“Louella Rose, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing?” your mother’s heavy midwestern accent pierces your eardrum. 
“Are you fucking kidding me, mom? What do I think I’m doing? What the fuck are you doing?!” your teeth grit and and hiss, “Calling a fucking tabloid, really?”
“I only wanted them to know the truth—”
“That is fucking bullshit and you know it,” you growl, crossing an arm over your belly, pacing the floor, “You wanted fucking attention. Well, you’ve got it, congratu-fucking-lations!” 
“I’m just looking out for your best interest. That man is bad news, Louella.“
“How the FUCK would you know?!”
“I know he has a cocaine habit, and that he cheated on his wife, does that sound like anyone else?” 
You clench your jaw and shake your head.
“I’m sorry for caring—”
“You don’t fucking care! You have never fucking cared! If you cared, you would have talked to me, not a fucking tabloid. That shit you told them—” your voice cracks, but you swallow the lump in your throat and continue, “Mom, that’s not your story to tell. It’s mine.” 
An exasperated sigh crackles in your ear, then she says, “You shouldn’t get tangled up in his world, Louella—”
“What I do, who I date, is none of your fucking business. It’s not your decision. I am a grown ass woman.”
“You might be a grown woman, but you’re still my baby girl, and I don’t want you to wind up dead this time,” she clicks her tongue against her teeth, “I’d say you’ll understand someday when you have your own kids, but that’s just another thing Ethan ruined, isn’t it?”
Your entire field of vision floods with red. 
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“When I hang up the phone, do not contact me ever again. You are fucking dead to me. Do you understand?”
“Oh, come on, Louella, don’t be dram—”
You end the call. 
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Dieter hovers a few feet from his open bedroom door. His nerves tingle with anticipation. Hushed sobs call out to him and grip his heart. 
How long does he wait before going in to comfort you? Would you rather have time alone?
Part of him feels terrible for eavesdropping. Well, eavesdropping might not be the right word, considering how your heated words reverberated from one end of his home to the other effortlessly. It’s not his fault the goddamn place is like a resonance chamber. 
Dieter hears Darlene in the living room chewing someone out over the phone. The words “so fucking unprofessional” echo down the hall, filled with venom. She’s in full tirade mode. Out for blood. 
It gives him a smug sense of satisfaction hearing her wield this rage towards someone else. 
If he knows anything about Darlene, it’s that this will take a while. She won’t stop until she’s had her fill, until her belly is swollen and ripe with vindication. Then she’ll lap the sticky blood from her hands, smoke a cigarette, and say, “Here’s what’s next.”
He raps a knuckle against the doorframe and asks, “Can I come in?”
“Yeah.” 
The word is soggy and muffled. He enters the room, closing the door behind him, and finds you sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, face buried in your hands. You don’t look up at him. 
He crawls onto the bed behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing his forehead against the nape of your neck. Warm notes of vanilla and macadamia nuts waft off your hair. You feel so rigid under his touch.
“Talk to me, baby,” he murmurs, tugging you closer. 
“Did I fuck it all up?” 
Your voice comes out in a squeak, like you squeezed the words from your throat. Wet sobs bubble up your throat and shake your shoulders. 
“No,” Dieter frowns, “Do you really think that?”
You shrug and release a shattered breath. 
“Absolutely fucking not,” he assures you, “Hey, listen to me. You were fucking amazing.” 
“But—”
“No, no buts. You were perfect. And—and brave, so fucking brave,” he nuzzles into that perfect space between your shoulder and neck and says, “I’m so proud of you, Louella.” 
“Really?” you sniffle and wipe your eyes on the sleeve of your shirt, smearing black makeup onto the luxurious white silk. 
“Holy shit, yes,” he chuckles, pulling you closer, relishing the way your hunched up muscles seem to slacken, “Before the bullshit that rat fuck pulled, you were perfection. Killed it, I swear to god, doll. And—and none of that last part was your fault. David shouldn’t have sprang that on us, and your mom,” he scoffs and shakes his head, gnashing his jaw back and forth as he tries to choose his words carefully, then finally says, “I’m sorry, but that was fucking despicable. You didn’t deserve that.”
“You didn’t deserve that,” you sniffle.
“No, I definitely deserved that,” he mutters, glancing up to the mirror, meeting his own eyes only for a moment before diverting his gaze.
Your hand slides over his and you move your thumb in gentle strokes against his skin, “She’s the fucking worst, Dee.”
He hums in acknowledgment, then inquires, “Was that her on the phone?”
“Yeah,” you answer, and your voice comes out all quivering and squeaky, “I, um… I told her to never talk to me again.” 
“I heard,” he confesses.
“Oh,” you breathe. 
His pulse jumps and he stammers, “I—I wasn’t trying to or anything, I swear, the noise just carries—”
“I know,” you squeeze his hand, “It’s ok.”
Your crying wanes in intensity, but the air around you is still dense and stormy. Dieter kisses your shoulder and asks, “What can I do to help you right now, baby?”
You ponder this for a long moment. When your response comes, it jolts his insides. Sucks the air from his lungs. 
“Fuck me.”
He’s not sure he heard you right, and shakes his head, “Wait, what?”
Then you reach back and run your fingers through his hair. Unravel against his chest. Let your head roll back on his shoulder. 
Dieter cranes his neck to search your face. It’s all tear-drenched, your makeup smeared, eyes puffy and red. He reaches up and squee-gees the mess with his thumb, wiping the excess onto his white comforter as you quietly tell him, “I need to get out of my head. I want—I want you to fuck me. Hard. I want it to hurt. Use me. Please.”
His insides coil and twitch. Your lips part as you scrape your nail along his jawline, beckoning him closer. 
He smooths his palms along your torso, drinking in the heat of your body through your silk shirt. Your mouth draws him in closer: a bright flame, and he’s just a moth. 
That’s how it is with you, Lua, you have to know that by now. He’s just a bug, and you’re this all-consuming fire that could burn him alive and he’d say thank you, my love, thank you for your light.
When your lips meet, his vocal chords crackle. Your mouth, plush and pliable, so delicate, he almost feels bad for the force he uses in response. 
Almost. 
You have to understand how difficult it is for him to restrain himself with you. How the tether between his humanity and deprivation pulls taut when you writhe beneath his touch. 
What you’re asking, to make it hurt, use me, please… it electrifies him. Calls to the part of him that bucks against the restraints. Is that what you really want? For him to unchain that beast?
His teeth catch your lip and you gasp, but you don’t stop kissing him. In fact, you ball his shirt in your fist and kiss him harder. 
You fucking love it. 
He palms your breast and tastes the sweet whimper on your breath when he grips your flesh. Digs his fingers in, squeezes harder. You moan down his throat. Arch your back. Roll your tongue along his, soft and wet and hungry.
“Fuck,” he growls through grit teeth. Grabs your jaw and licks the gasp from your mouth. You grind back against his cock and an intoxicating rush of heat rolls through his body, clinging to his bones, sinking into the folds of his brain, tinging his vision with this thick scarlet fog that makes his heart pound in his chest. 
Dieter buries his fist in your hair and sits up on his knees, ushering you to do the same. His lips hover at the shell of your ear and he murmurs, “Is this how you want it? Want it fucking rough?”
“Yes,” you breathe, and he slides a hand to your neck, spreading the webbing between his thumb and index finger on your esophagus. 
“I wanna pull up your pretty little skirt, and bend you over—wanna play with that tight little asshole—”
You let out this throaty moan that vibrates against his palm. It makes his cock jump. 
“Would you like that?” he rumbles. Clamps down on your earlobe. Grinds the flab between his teeth. 
“Oh my fucking god, Dieter, please,” you whine, hips rolling against him, urging him to make good on his word. 
He shoves your face into the mattress and you just prop your ass up for him, pushing back as he rucks your skirt up to your waist. His hands slide up the soft, warm flesh of your thighs, feeling the weight of your ass in his palms. 
You arch your back, presenting yourself to him, whimpering for attention, silk underwear all damp with want, clinging to your cunt. 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he rasps, hooking a fingertip around the wet patch of fabric, dragging his knuckle through your arousal, “You fucking love this, don’t you?”
You let out a throaty, delirious laugh that quickly morphs into a moan when he rubs the knuckle against your clit, then slaps your ass with a sharp smack.
“Fuck yes,” you gasp. Your hips roll against his touch, seeking stimulation. But he doesn’t want you to have it yet. Not like that. 
He pulls away, and you whine, going to get up on your hands in protest, but he closes a fist around your hair and pushes you back down, grinding out, “Don’t you fucking move.”
Another airy, depraved laugh. 
Dieter grips your hair tighter, explaining in a whisper as he tugs your underwear down your legs, “You’re gonna stay right here, ass in the air like a bitch in heat, and let me do whatever the fuck I want to you. How’s that sound, love? Hmm?”
“Please,” you breathe. He hears the wet gulp of your throat. The hair between his fingers pulls taut when you nod. 
“Perfect,” he murmurs, releasing your hair, tossing the underwear from around your ankles across the bed. 
He slides his palms over your ass cheeks. Parts them just long enough to gather a pool of spit on his tongue and let it land on your asshole with a wet splat. Rolls his thumb through the spit, smearing it around, making you gasp, “Fuck, that’s good—”
His cock twitches. Electricity writhes around his insides. He licks his lips, then purrs, “Yeah? It feels good when I touch your asshole, hmm? You fucking like that, princess?”
“Yes—”
Dieter spreads you apart, brings himself closer, throat rumbling at the scent of your heat. At the way your swollen, needy cunt is just fucking dripping, coated in a shiny layer of your slick. 
Fucking beautiful. 
He drags his tongue through the arousal pooling at your entrance with a depraved groan. 
You unleash a moan and try to wriggle around on his tongue, still trying to exert control, still not letting go. 
He raises a hand and lowers it on your ass cheek with a smack, talking at your cunt as he holds your hips steady, “Stop trying to run this, doll, let me fucking use you like you need me to.”
The response that comes is a whimper, but your muscles stop working under his grip. 
“Good, that’s it, baby,” he coos, then returns to your cunt, licking along all the soft ridges and valleys of you, savoring your nectar gathering slick on his tastebuds. 
“Oh my fucking god,” you croak, but you don’t rock against his tongue. Doing just as he asked. Heat surges through him, all that pride commingling with lust and love and need. 
He licks up your middle, painting you with short, broad strokes, all the way up to your tight, puckered asshole. Saliva pools as he laps away, rubbing back and forth, in a circle, flicking his tongue against you in wet little slaps. 
All the while, you’re whimpering and moaning, legs trembling, sweat coating your hot skin, damp against his palms. 
He brings the tip of his index finger to the center of your asshole, wriggling and applying pressure until the tight ring gives and allows him entrance. Your choked moan fills his ears and he moves slowly, carefully, letting you adjust to the sensation. 
One knuckle disappears, then another, and when buried as deep as he can go, he ruts it in and out, the hot pool of spit lubricating his movements. 
You start to slacken, your sharp little gasps for air drawing out longer, surrendering to pleasure, whimpering and nodding, eyes fluttering. 
Dieter pauses and wiggles another thick digit against your tight hole, panting, “Fuck, you’re doing so good, baby. Fucking amazing. That’s it, baby, just relax for me—”
It slides past the barrier and he moans in unison with you, burying his fingers again and again, spitting thick, gooey wads of saliva where he fuses with you, making his movements easier, more fluid, while the hot, smooth inside of you grips around his fingers.
“Fuck me,” you beg, “Please—please fuck my ass.”
“Take your clothes off for me, baby,” he sits up straight and begins to unbutton his shirt. You roll over onto your back and start to strip down while he throws the shirt on the floor, then lays back and takes off his pants. 
He reaches into drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a bottle of lube, then squirts a dollop of it into his hand and glances up at you. You're laying on your back, propped up on your elbows, lust-blown eyes glued to his cock. When he spreads the slick along his length, your pink tongue rolls across your lips, stoking the hot coals in his core.
Dieter crawls across the bed to you, murmuring, “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
Your gaze locks onto his as your jaw drops open. He moves up your body and straddles your chest, holding his throbbing, aching cock out to you, “Wanna fuck that pretty face of yours, is that ok with you?”
You nod, threading your brows together, batting your lashes, eyes all half-lidded and hungry, and purr, “Use me like a fuck doll.”
The request makes his cock pulse in his fist. You curl your tongue against a bead of pre-cum hanging off the tip of him and wiggle it around. His head falls back when the delicate touch floods his body with pleasure and he groans, “Holy fucking sh—”
The words evaporate from his throat when your lips pull taught around his girth, the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him. His lubed-up hand falls to the wayside and he snaps his gaze back to yours. You hold eye contact and move at a slow, steady rhythm, taking more and more of him with each renewed bob. 
Dieter moans at the sight of you, lips all shiny and stretched out around him, eyelids fluttering. He brushes the sweat-dampened hair from your forehead, gathering what he can reach in his fist. Tightens his grip. Pushes his hips forward. 
When he breaches your throat, you gag. A hot rush of spit pours from your mouth. Twitching muscles squeeze around him, protesting the intrusion. A wave of ecstasy rushes up his spine and pulls a moan from his stomach. 
“Are you ok?” he rasps, meeting your watery eyes. 
You pull off of him, panting, strings of saliva hanging between your reddened lips and his glistening cock, and nod, “Don’t fucking stop,” before taking him in your mouth again. 
So he thrusts forward again, carefully, every muscle in his body tensing with restraint. Your palms slide up his thighs, around to his backside, where you dig the tips of your fingers into his skin, urging him forward, and he knows now that you fucking meant it: Use me like a fuck doll. 
He nods with understanding, “You want more, hmm?”
The hum of approval from your throat ripples across his body and makes him groan. You bat your lashes up at him, eyes creased like you’re smiling but your mouth is all crammed full of his cock so it’s hard to be sure, but he can tell you’re just fucking loving this shit. Jesus fucking Christ, it’s almost more than he can handle. 
“Want me to fuck that pretty fucking face?” he growls, closing his fist around your hair tighter, rolling his hips, dragging his cock in and out of your mouth. 
You moan and it makes him moan, the vibration of your throat writhing beneath his skin.  
He adjusts his angle, releasing your hair to grab both sides of your head and plunge deeper, down past the back of your mouth, letting out a sharp groan as the firm ridges slide tight around him. His hips work forward in a quick, short burst of wet thrusts that light up every nerve in his body, then he pulls from your mouth. While you gasp for breath, he grips the base of his cock with one hand while the other grabs your spit-covered chin, “Is that what you fucking want? Fuck your face just like that?”
“Fuck yes, just like that,” you choke out, voice all gritted and airy.
“You pinch me when you need to breathe, ok?” he instructs, searching your flushed, messy face, “Pinch me right now so I know.”
This big smile spreads across your swollen lips and you squeeze a chunk of his ass between your fingers, “Like this?”
“That’s it, baby, do that and I’ll let you come up for air,” he nods, “Now stick out your tongue.” 
Your tongue stretches down to your chin, and he slaps his cock against it with a smack-smack-smack before sliding it back into the hot cavern of your mouth. He cradles your skull in his palms and thrusts forward, cramming himself down your throat. Your vocal chords buzz against him, and your mouth emits this sick, wet glug-glug-glug that sets him on fucking fire. You pinch him and he pulls out, both of you gasping and moaning. 
“So fucking good, fuck,” he rasps, waiting a moment for your breathing to be less desperate, then asks, “Ready?”
You hum a little mhmm and open your mouth, welcoming him back to fuck your throat. He can barely fucking stand how hot you look with your face all shiny with sweat and tears and spit, how your eyelids flutter then snap open to meet his gaze, how your body wiggles around beneath him, hips bucking against nothing, thighs rubbing together. 
If he didn’t have you pinned down like this, you’d be touching yourself, he just fucking knows it. 
The ecstasy tingling at the base of his spine starts to spread and you pinch him just before he loses control. He pulls out, but doesn’t dare grab himself this time, for fear that any stimulation will push him over the edge.
He gets on his hands and knees and leans down to press his lips to yours. You throw your arms around his neck and arch your back into the kiss, pulling him closer, rolling your tongue against his as soft whimpers flutter from your mouth. One of his hands trails down your body, between your legs, and he groans at how fucking wet you are. 
You gasp against his lips, throwing your head back as he plays with your clit, working you at a rapid rhythm that makes your face twist and flush, nodding in approval, quick little gasps and squeaks escaping your throat. 
He grins when he realizes how close you are. So fucking worked up from sucking him off, already coiling up, ready to burst. 
“That’s it, baby,” he husks, kisses you, then presses his sweaty forehead to yours, “That’s it, let me see you fucking cum, baby.”
“Fuck fuck fuck, Dee, don’t stop—fuck—”
Your words disappear with a sharp inhale, muscles tensing up, hips arching against his hand. He continues to move against you, fast and steady and firm, until you find your voice and release a choked sob. You collapse into yourself, body shaking violently, legs clamping shut, gasping for air. 
“Holy fuck,” you breathe, and your body starts to slacken, but jumps like a live wire at his slowing touch. 
Dieter slides down your crease, through your arousal, propping himself on one arm to watch how your cum clings to his fingers in thick, heavy strands as he draws his hand away. 
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” he murmurs, licks you from his fingers, then drags them along your warm, gooey seam again, “But I’m not done with you yet.”
Your eyebrows press together and lips part with a whimper, but you don’t appear adverse to the suggestion. In fact, you bring a hand to your chest. Cup your breast. Pinch your nipple and gasp. 
His body surges hot with want. He grazes his nose against your face, rumbling into your ear, “How’d you put it? Like a fuck doll?” 
Your throat lets out a little whine and your lips pout out into an O as he sinks two thick fingers into your cunt. You prop yourself up and watch him slide in and out, whimpering and nodding, “Fuck that’s so good, Dee—oh my god, yes—”
The hunger roiling at his core grows. He adds another finger, stretching you wider, and you release a choked moan. 
“Is this what you want, Lua? Want me to fuck you like a little slut, hmm?” he pants, shifting himself to hover above you, pumping his arm, cramming his fingers into your tight, wet heat over and over again. 
“Yes yes yes yes yes,” you babble, and start moving your hips against him, “Do that thing—”
Dieter smirks, knowing exactly what thing you’re referring to, and pulls his hand up towards the ceiling, rubbing the pads of his fingers hard against your g-spot, “That?”
“Fuuuuuuck yes, baby, just like that,” you moan, “That’s so good, baby, such a good fucking boy, fuck me so good—”
He lets out a groan and wiggles his fingers faster, “Yeah? You like when I make you squirt all over the place? Wanna soak my fucking bedsheets?”
Your response is a strangled noise, but you nod your head frantically, and your limbs start to tremble. And, fuck, the sight of you all shaking and whining, skin slick with sweat, makeup running down your pretty, flushed, contorted face, it’s enough to send his insides fluttering, barreling towards oblivion once again. 
Dieter has to close his eyes, swallowing hard as he tries to reign himself in, forcing himself to fill his mind with mundane thoughts about what to eat for supper, how this disaster of an interview will get resolved, whether or not he’ll wake up early to attempt making breakfast for you, all while trying to ignore the liquid hot squeeze of your pussy around his wiggling fingers.
When he feels he finally has a grip on his pleasure, he snaps his eyes open and moves between your legs. Buries his face in your cunt. Rolls his tongue on your swollen clit. 
“Yes, fuck,” you breathe and anchor your hands in his hair, pulling his curls into tight fists. Your breathing starts to come in shallow gasps. The muscles of your thighs tense and twitch. 
“Don’t stop, baby, don’t fucking stop,” you whimper, and he works you faster, moving his tongue in a circle, tickling the inside of you, groaning as you rub yourself against him, smearing your juices all over his face. You moan when the sound hits you, so he continues, humming from the back of his throat, and it’s just the push you need. 
Your hips stutter and still. A wild, ragged noise tears from your chest. You convulse around his fingers, and he pulls them out, sliding his mouth down to your opening just as a hot wave of pleasure gushes out. It splashes against his face, and he tries to catch as much as he can on his tongue, moaning at the taste of you. Grabs your waist and holds you there, lapping away at your cunt as you gasp for air, body jerking at the stimulation, but unable to move from his vice grip. 
He climbs your body and kisses you, hard and messy, letting you taste yourself. You rake your fingers through his hair, whining into his mouth when his tongue slides across yours. 
His cock aches with neglect. The steady inflow of pleasure burns between the layers of his skin and begs to be released. 
He pulls away from your lips and pants, “Flip over for me, love. I wanna fuck your ass.” 
And, you… fucking hell, Lua, you smile at this like he told you he’s buying you a brand new car. He sits up and you roll over onto your belly, then stick your ass up into the air, “Is that good?”
“Fucking perfect.”
Dieter grabs the abandoned bottle of lube,  squeezes some into his palm, then requests, “Spread for me, baby.” 
You reach back, pulling your ass cheeks apart. He squirts some of the lube on your puckered hole and you yelp, then giggle, “It’s so cold.”
He chuckles at this as he strokes his cock, smearing the slick lube along his length, then he asks, “Have you done this before? Anal sex?”
This isn’t the first time he’s ventured into ass play with you, but only with tongues, toys, fingers. You look back at him and shrug, “Well, yeah, but,” then you drop your gaze to his dick, “You’re, um… a lot bigger than anyone else…” 
The comment makes his ego swell, and he can’t help but grin, spreading the lube across your tight hole with his middle finger. Then he applies pressure to its center until it allows him access. Your eyelids flutter and you whimper, licking your lips, pulling your cheeks apart further. 
“I’ll go slow, but if it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop, ok?”
“Ok,” you nod.
He wriggles another digit inside you. You gasp and nod, “Fuck, that feels really good.”
“Good,” he purrs, rutting into you slowly, flicking his gaze between your face and ass, watching the way your lips part and eyelids drift closed, feeling the muscles inside you start to relax. 
You arch your back into the stimulation, breathy little whimpers and moans floating from your mouth like music to his fucking ears. Lust pools hot and needy at his center, making his heart thud and his cock ache. 
“Are you ready?” he asks, studying your face as you open your eyes and look back at him. 
“I’m ready,” you confirm, holding his gaze as he pulls his fingers out and brings the head of his cock to kiss the tight, lubricated hole. 
Dieter pushes forward cautiously, pausing when your asshole surrenders to the very tip of him and you let out a sharp cry. After a moment, you nod, “Keep going.”
So he does. The tight ring squeezes the ever loving fuck out of him as he slowly, tediously, makes his way inside you. His forehead breaks out in a sweat, muscles quivering from the effort it takes to move at this pace. Your face pinches up with what could either be pleasure or pain, he’s not quite sure, but it’s accompanied by whimpers and nods, signaling your approval. 
Once the head of his cock is fully engulfed, though, and you adjust to his width, acclimate to the feeling, things start to go faster. He pushes your hands away and spreads your cheeks himself, hissing, “Fuck, this looks so good, baby. Love seeing your sweet little asshole stretched out around my cock—”
“It feels so fucking good,” you breathe, propping yourself up on your elbows, “Give me more.”
The request squirms around inside him and makes his throat rumble. He drives his hips forward steadily, and it’s a fucking vacuum of suction, pulling him in, swallowing him whole. You sputter and moan in reaction, croaking out quiet little whines of “oh my fucking god” over and over again.
“Fuuuuck, you’re so fucking tight, holy fuck, Lua,” he groans, throwing his head back, then starts to roll his hips, still moving at a languid pace, sliding his length along that ring that, even when your muscles loosen slightly, grips him so fucking tight it makes every ounce of sanity flee his brain. 
“Do you like that? Like when I fuck your ass with my fat cock?” he asks through grit teeth.
You whimper and nod, “Yes yes yes yes—”
“Tell me,” he demands, snapping his hips, heart jumping at the moan you choke out. 
“I like it wh—when you fuck my ass—” he snaps his hips again and you gasp, then continue, “with your big, fat cock—”
“Yeah you fucking do, don’t you?” He increases the tempo, moaning at the squeeze of you, how fucking good you feel wrapped around him, and grinds out, “Little fuck doll likes being used, hmm? Just like this?” 
“Holy fuck, Dee,” you groan, raising yourself up onto your hands, pushing back against his thrusts, “I fucking love it, yes.”
The force of your body moving with his, burying him to the hilt inside you again and again, fills him with fire. Sweat drips from his forehead onto your back, heart fluttering in his heaving chest, hands tingling, limbs trembling, ecstasy pooling thick and hot at the base of his spine. 
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me fucking cum,” he warns, but doesn’t let up his pace. 
“Cum in my ass, baby, please please please,” you moan. 
The request tugs at the edges of him, and he wants you closer, wants to feel the heat of your skin against his. 
“Get up here,” he grunts, leans forward and hooks an arm around your torso, pulls your back against his chest, cradling your neck in his palm. Your head falls back onto his shoulder and your mouth is hanging open slack, frantic little moans fleeing your throat as he fucks your ass deep and hard, rumbling into your ear, “Cum in your fucking ass, hmm? My little slut wants her ass filled with cum?”
You bring your hand to the back of his head and grab a fistful of hair, breathing, “Fuck yes, please, Dieter, please—”
“Anything for you, love,” he pants, then you pull his hair tighter, and you start to rock your hips against his, and your whines get all high-pitched and airy, and he babbles, “I mean that, I really do, fucking anything you want, baby—fill your ass with cum, buy you whatever the fuck you want, fucking anything, I swear to god—”
Your lips cut him off, and you’re fucking trembling now, muscles all tight and coiled, squeezing around his cock, and he kisses you back with fire, groaning against your mouth as you whimper, then your breath disappears completely, you let out a strangled moan, and your body shutters from the force of your orgasm. The static buzzing in his center grows wider, deeper, tingling up his backbone, through his limbs, until it washes over him completely.
He thrusts into you one, two, three more times, spilling his load inside you.
His labored breathing puffs hot against yours. You bring your touch to his cheek and draw a circle into his beard with your thumb. He kisses you again, gentler, lips lingering on yours, then murmurs, “I fucking love you.”
A bright, wide smile spreads across your face. You let out this breathless little giggle, kiss him, then say, “I fucking love you, too.” 
Dieter pulls out and falls back onto the bed, stretching out, catching his breath. You follow suit and cuddle up to him, laying your head on his heaving chest. He curls his arm around your shoulders and rests his cheek on the crown of your sweaty head. 
The silence that settles is comfortable, and he notices that the rest of the house is quiet, too. Darlene must have fled sometime while he was fucking you, no doubt disgusted by the noises that were probably not muffled at all by the barrier of his bedroom door. 
His attention draws back to you when you whisper, “Am I doing the right thing? By cutting her out of my life?”
It takes a moment for him to understand what you’re asking. When it clicks, he frowns, “I don’t think that’s a question I can answer.” 
You’re quiet in response, so he inquires further, “What’s your relationship like with her?” 
“We, um… we butt heads,” you shrug and bring your fingertips to his sternum, start drawing little swirls against his skin, “She’s always been so… I don’t know, self-centered? Childish?” you pause here, and he can hear the gears in your busy mind turning. You lay your palm flat over his heart and say, “It’s always about her. She didn’t come see me when Ethan died, or try to console me, or anything. She fucking—”
A frustrated huff of air blows across his chest. You shake your head, then sigh, “She fucking called me all the time crying about it, and posted all this bullshit online about how sad she was, and—and she fucking hated him. It’s like she expected me to comfort her. She never asked how I was doing. It was… fuck, it was just like when Dad died.” 
Dieter smooths circles into your skin with his thumb. Studies the ceiling, waiting for you to say more. Then you do. 
“When I would try talking to her about how much I missed him—my dad, I mean—she would get fucking mad at me. Say shit like, ‘Well, how do you think I feel?’ or—or, ‘You’re not the only one who lost him,’ or—this one’s my favorite, the uses it all the time, ‘It’s not all about you, Louella Rose,’” you pause and scoff to yourself, shaking your head, “So I stopped trying to her about it, and then she would get mad at me for not talking about it, so then I would talk to her about it, and she would either get mad all over again or squirrel the things I told her away to use as fucking ammunition against me the next time I made her upset, and—and, I don’t know. That’s just how it is with her.” 
Dieter’s mind whirs as he sifts through the million thoughts pouring through his brain, trying to find the right one to tell you. It feels like finding the hay in the needlestack, and when his mouth opens, all that comes out is, “Fuck that.”
“Yeah,” you snort, then comb your fingers through his hair and murmur, “I love your curls, they’re adorable.” 
He almost takes the subject change you dangle in front of him, but something lingers at the base of his throat, begging to be known. 
“Look,” he starts, shifting to meet your gaze, and sighs, “I really don’t think you’re making a mistake by cutting her out of your life, Lua. And-and not because she said those things about me, but because she treats you like shit. And, I know it’s not my place to say shit like this, but,” he shakes his head, searching your face, watching the tears pool in your eyes, “She might be your mom, but that��s not family, you know?”
Your face crumples up. 
He starts to fumble out an apology, “Fuck, I’m–”
You kiss him. 
When you pull back, you whisper, “Thank you.” 
“Of course,” he breathes, brushing his hand against your cheek, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” you scoot closer, and he wraps his arm around your shoulder. A few peaceful moments go by before your stomach growls so loud it makes both of you start laughing. 
“Let’s get you some fucking food, huh?” 
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hiimgin · 9 months
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Hey!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
How are you? How was your year? I hope all is well or getting better.
I'd like to tag the people who are especially important to me. Those who have become incredibly important to me in such a short period of time. Those who continue to make me happy.
@almost-an-artist . Lily, my beautiful Lily! I am very glad that we have started communicating with you. It seems like we've been in touch for no more than three months.... But I feel like we've been talking forever. And, oh... Your work continues to shock me to the core. Did I mention that I'm genuinely in love with your artwork?
@whyoneartheven. Oh, Evie! You were literally my third followers and, damn. You're so wonderful. You're a pleasure to hang out with, even though we don't do it too often. You're really cool, and your artwork..... I truly love your style. I hope you're doing well
@kiwi-der-vogel . You know how much I love your work. It's just beautiful. Beautiful in every way. And you yourself... Kiwi, you're wonderful. Yes, we've barely spoken, but I'm truly glad to have you. Thank you
@prince-of-red-lions . Oh, great Windy! You don't know how impressed I am with you. You're very sweet. And you're a pleasure to talk to. I'm really glad I got to know you. And, oh, my goddesses. Windy, I love your art!
@akchimp75 . You're precious. I'm sorry we're not communicating right now. I really hope we can fix this. I really, truly consider you my friend and I want to apologize to you for being very passive lately.
@undertheopensky. A wonderful person. I don't know what else to say. You're beautiful. I'm really glad we're in touch, even if not as often.
@turdofanerd. I'm sorry, I can't say much. You are awesome! Your style is very cool and your support is very, very strong. Thanks for everything!
@blakesoul16. My darling, you're adorable. And so is your art. Please keep it up! I really like your art a lot
@gia-d. This is when I want to apologize. I remember what you said about being able to text you anytime, but, uh. I'm just embarrassed to do it. And I want to apologize for that.
You're amazing. Very nice to talk to, and... I truly love your art.
@raven8224. Ooh, I couldn't forget you. Do you know how cool you are? You're so cool! Just-- Wow.
@la-sera. Honestly, I've been thinking about this for a long time. But... I'm truly glad I found out about you. I am truly grateful to the Goddesses that you exist. Your artwork is magical. You are an incredible person yourself! Thank you. For everything.
You have all become incredibly important rays of light in my life. I didn't think, coming into July, that I would have even one friend..... Thank you all!
I apologize that the post came out a bit rambling..... It was a little difficult to put my thoughts and words together
But remember, I love everyone. Absolutely everyone. You are all beautiful and hold a special place in my heart. I love you all so much.
Peace, everyone!
Bye.
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rain-waifu · 10 months
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be kind, but dont feel bad when these fuckers all drown
small vent on under the cut, as you can tell im not good at animation, i've barely made some little animations with flipaclip back on the day, but i was never good at it, but this has been stuck on my mind for some time i had to made it so i could sleep in peace.
Im very happy for the little community of followers i have, for the people that has come for a certain fandom, yet stayed anyway. I read all of your tags, and comments, i take screenshots of them and read them cause they make me happy, im very thankful for each one of you both in the art blog and the personal blog, however i cant cover the sun with a finger.
Everthing has been so hateful lately, i dont feel good anywhere. I've come to realize that i dont really fit anywhere, althrough there are places i feel comfier than others, im happy tumblr has come that kind of safe spot, i like uploading art and i like answering questions, but i cant manage to pull myself up together sometimes. I feel good here, but when i turn my back, i just see people picking on other people's art, being mean, disrespectful, disrespecting people's characters, oversexualization, etc. It breaks my mind everytime, and its an unstoppable force.
I dont feel comfortable with my irl circle, i love them, but im not myself. Im not myself anywhere, im not saying it like 'wow im so different!' type of manner, i just feel like a misfit cause everyone else in my world have their feet set on earth. They dont care about me gushing about fictional characters, but for me its a little part of me very few people has accepted. They cannot understand my comfort, and i cannot blame them, im too deep into the internet culture and the selfship that i just cannot blame them for ignoring or raising their eyebrows when i say something stupid about a fictional character.
I want to be kind, but i dont feel kindness going back my way, aswell as i realize that not everyone deserves my forgiveness, they've left me with scars that will stay with me forever, as they keep going with their lives and im stuck in the vortex, blaming myself for not overcoming traumas i didnt know were that deep. I love the fictional characters i always talk about, i love my self inserts, i love doing art, i love the people that has been tagging along in these blogs. We're like 134 followers, and im dead happy about it, honest. But for now, i just want to sleep.
Remember to scream for Palestine, for Congo, for Sudan, Syria, its horrific, please stand by them, use the tiktok filters, use the sounds, spread awareness, keep yourself informed. Share everything you see about these situations, specially tiktok, its the platform everyone is using and the one that makes the most revenue, find creators that do donate to these causes. Stay strong, and never forget and honor those who arent with us anymore. Scream for freedom. I love you all from the bottom of my heart.
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fictionkinfessions · 1 month
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looking at the tag for our source on this blog and seeing it’s 99% siffrins lamenting being lonely is so. yeah that’s fitting. we went through all that trouble and for what??? none of our family is here apparently! we lost them Again! because i guess we don’t blinding deserve that! it’s just siffrin and siffrin and miserable siffrin over and over again. i saw maybe one isa in the tag and my heart melted a little just knowing he’s out there at all even if i’m never going to get to talk to him or hug him or hold his sweaty hands ever again. stars
which, like, i get it.i can see why so many people have flocked to him. i’m not upset about the fact that there’s so many sifs around, i love y’all and i am holding your hands in solidarity forever and ever ok. i love talking to doubles and seeing how things went differently between us (my friend who also kins him didn’t lose the whole eyeball can you believe that. they still have the eyeball. they’re blind in it but they didn’t need to get it completely removed from the socket!!! incredible! i feel cheated out of an eyeball) and just generally getting that experience of talking to yourself even if it’ll never be to the degree that it was between me and loop. i love it. i loved that story and i still do
but it still makes my heart hurt a little knowing that there’s so many of us and so little of our family out there in comparison? i feel like understudy #73848955793. even if a blinding miracle happens and i meet ANYONE from my canon who wasn’t me (save for loop lmao) the odds that they’ll be My family member feels. like next to nothing. i feel so alone. i’m a nobody again. i’m scared. i’m a nobody in a sea of nobodies. i miss them so much. i’m never going to see my family again the universe put me through all that torture and left me broken and i didn’t even get to keep them in the end. they’re gone. forever. i’m never going to. hhrgghhh. loop i think i am understanding you more now than i ever did back then. i’m so sorry
i was already the worse siffrin when there were only the two of us in the world. me and loop. loop was so much better than me. brighter. they made it through 10x the amount of loops i did without breaking and they did it completely alone in a worse version of the house with a worse king. and they still did better than me. and still had the capacity to care about me their little copy who stole everything from them and wasn’t even grateful about it! and now it’s like. wow. i am now the worse siffrin out of a Billion other siffrins. no wonder my family was taken from me again. im truly the last of us who deserves them. i’m never going to see them again i
stars i miss them. i miss them so much. i miss you loop i miss you isa i miss you mira and bonbon and odile i miss you!!!!!!! what did i do wrong!!!!!!!! besides literally everything i’ve ever done!!!!!!
the universe leads!!!!!!! and i have no blinding choice but to follow it into this miserable half-life of a half-life. it’s. mmmmmm
i miss my family!!!
- siffrin
x
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hartxstarr · 2 months
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HERES MY FAVORITE FICS EVER. OF ALL TIME.
i have many many fics that i love and have enjoyed reading. but these are the collection of fics that have stuck with me throughout the years, and the ones i go back to so i can experience it all over again. my beloveds <3
heed the tags and warnings for all of these!!!
Family. i know its weird to start off with an animaniacs fic. but it truly shaped me during my formative middle school years. i wont detail the warnings et al for every fic but i do want to say i reread this one recently and theres a lot more problematic worldviews than i remember (sexism, racism, ect ect). lmao. but regardless, sibling dynamics is my favorite in fiction because of this fic. (admittedly, i know i dont ever talk about siblings, but i think about them. and thats what counts.)
Alpha. unfinished. The rvb fic of all time. washington really goes through it in this one, guys. for real. i actually havent read it in a while so i forget the majority of the details, but it branches off of reconstruction and really puts wash through the wringer. for real.
Jamais Vu. abandoned. lolix. zombie au. i need to reread this one. i used to stay up late during school nights reading the latest chapters. good memories. you know, ive always had zombie dreams since i was a little kid, but this one probably didnt help much at all. The Palomo Scene has haunted me for years. thats all i will say.
Death is a Jealous Lover. felix/reader AND lolix. wow! changed my brain chemistry forever. it inspired a whole oc story for my own. granted, it was essentially copying the premise, but over the years ive wrangled it down into its own little thing <3 GRIM REAPER AU. we're not making it out of the crypt with this one, fellas. i owe my life to this fic. always have.
Heed the Siren's Call. one piece time. shanks/makino. do yourself a favor and read all of missmungoes fics. go find out what true love really is. but if you do, this ones the one to start on. theres so much lore to this fic series...and every time i go back to reread this fic, the authors added a little bit more. amazing. wonderful. just read Shanties, why dont you.
Migratory Animals. when i think of zosan fic, i think of this one. its the vibe.
Part Timer. zosan. post-canon. these idiots are everything to me. they learn so much more about each other and they also get to be in love. the scene where zoro calls luffy has lived in my brainspace since reading it. i cannot describe my emotions.
Native Son. sanji leaves the crew. plays out like a movie (think 4-6 era). please just read it.
The Entirety of the Third Degree Series. surprise. bnha fanfiction. endeavor/hawks. these guys are FUCKED UP. i love them. truly. they need help, but sadly they chose each other instead. how tragic. i want to study them. i want the best for them. they are already doomed.
BONUS: Halloween is Scarier As An Adult. this one isnt actually held close to my heart like the other ones, but when i think of gintama fanfiction, this is the one for me. plus, its gin/katsura so immediately its *chefs kiss* the pacing feels like an arc of the show. theres shenanigans. gintokis elusive past(tm), family bonding, and more!!! give this a read even if you dont ship silverwigs.
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carpisuns · 2 years
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I just wanna say I have an old post of yours saved in my drafts, about being a beginner artist…. I look at it sometimes to give me perspective and reassurance. Thank you. It has inspired me to continue my hobby/passion even if I don’t get many notes rn. I improve and I see it! Thats all that matters. Thank you. I hope I can be that for someone someday.
oh wow 😭 this just warmed my heart—thank you for sharing with me. i don't know what post you're talking about specifically, but i'm so glad that something i said could give you a little extra boost sometimes<3
it's both cool and sort of embarrassing that this blog is a record of my entire art journey. i didn't start learning how to draw until i got into ML and joined tumblr again about 3.5 years ago, so it has my very earliest art as well as my most recent. the other day my sister and i went through my art tag and i was literally crying with laughter at some of those pieces alskjdf (particularly this one). they're sooo bad but they were my best work at the time! as much as i cringe to look at them now, it's nice to remember how far I've come. There are still so many things I struggle with and things i disappoint myself about, but that's normal because I am still growing. no one stops growing. the artists you look up to the most, whose work seems absolutely flawless to you, are still growing.
and YOU are growing too! whether you feel like you are or not. sometimes it takes looking back to realize it. i'm really glad you can see your improvement! honestly, that's a skill too! having a healthy mindset about your own development can take a lot of internal work so I'm really proud of you for that.
(i got very rambly so cut for the rest lol)
and honestly sometimes the improvement isn't even about what the art looks like—it can just be about how you feel about making it. I think one of my biggest improvements in the last year was getting comfortable with drawing and sharing things that are Bad and Ugly! for example:
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the first one i drew 3 years ago, just a few months into learning how to draw. the second one i drew about a month ago. they both have obvious flaws and you could even argue that the old one is better drawn than the newer one. so it's like omg did i not improve at all after over 3 years?? did i actually get worse? lol. no! because a lot of the improvement is internal.
you'll notice that the first one was done in pencil and the second one is pen. it took me years to feel confident enough to sketch in pen because you can't erase! you have to commit to the lines! you can actually see tons of erase marks in the first one, but i didnt even use my white-erase tape at all on the second one. also, the first one is a screen redraw. i was just looking at the image and trying to replicate what i saw the best i can. the second one is new scenes/poses that came from my brain—not that they are very complicated/impressive lol, but there's a difference there. and what you can't see at all is just my attitude about drawing them! i can't particularly remember doing the first one but i guarantee i spent forever on it and was nervous about posting it. second one probably took me 7 mins and i knew it was ugly but i was zero percent embarrassed about that lol. that's progress baby!! cant even tell you how much of a difference it has made to me to let myself draw ugly things. i draw ugly things all the time. some of them get posted online. some of them get shared with one or two friends. some of them get shared with no one. and i've finally learned how to either embrace them as what they are or just shrug it off and go, "you know, this is not it! moving on." blank pages are so intimidating because you have a million opportunities to mess things up, but you also have a million opportunities to explore and learn and experiment and have fun and also to surprise yourself with what you're capable of.
i started out with nothing but a pencil and some powerful blorbo brainrot, and that was enough! that has been enough to power me through years of all the struggles and triumphs that artists go through. it was enough to help me push through every art block and keep drawing to the point that my instincts have improved and things that used to be almost impossible for me are just regular hard lol. i've actually illustrated for a print magazine a few times now, and a few weeks ago i finished my first animatic—which i always wanted to do but didn't have the skill or confidence for.
sorry this is so long, i'm just very passionate about this subject lol!! i just want every growing artist to know that if you keep trying and having fun, improvement is not only possible but inevitable. like, you don't even have to do formal studies if you don't want to. keep looking at art that you like and figuring out what is appealing to you. keep drawing what you feel like drawing. if you're no longer inspired by a piece or it's a little too tough for you right now, it's ok to drop it. you can come back later or never. you have infinite opportunities to make new and better art. and don't forget to give yourself credit for the progress you've already made. it's so hard not to compare yourself to others, and literally everyone—even the best and brightest—feels bad about their work sometimes. but try to compare yourself to your past self and pat yourself on the back for your improvement! it's okay to grow slowly, or in a way that's not so visible on the outside. just remember that you are growing, and you will only get better and better.
also, side note about notes/likes: i know it sucks to feel like your work is not getting attention when you poured a lot into it :( this might sound rich coming from me because i feel that people have been incredibly generous toward my work from the very beginning. but just know that popularity is not really about who "deserves" what, and it's not an accurate reflection of skill either. so if you feel unseen, that doesn't mean your stuff sucks. and you never know what your work might have meant to the people who saw it, even if there aren't that many. art doesn't have to be popular to be meaningful, and it doesn't have to be perfect either.
the world is a little richer and more beautiful because of the ways you are growing and the things you are sharing. so thank you, and please don't stop.
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