#cw ed in the tags

[greenhairedfreakglobal]

if nicocado avocado can do it, so can i

[dunkalfredo]

siffrin's terrible mental health, now in song form!

[song: "Why Am I Anxious?" by Tom Cardy. animated in OpenToonz and edited in VEGAS Pro 14]

[thenarryparable]

don't read if you are sensitive to topics about ED's. please.

Cw: Vent writing.

Also please be kind. This is about current (in Jan 2023, if I ever come back to this) events.

Numb

I always say "I feel so numb", recently.

It doesn't mean anything, in the forefront of it.

What does numb feel like?

The feeling of feeling nothing, still a feeling, always downplayed as being 'bored' or 'lazy' as people call it.

What does numb truly feel like though?

Its different for everyone. A blank mind? A empathy issue? All different.

For me it's about a girl named Ana.

A girl who wraps her arms around me and pricks at my stomach. Pinching the soft fat on my body forming a around my empty stomach. Every touch, causing pain.

She whispers awful lies I believe. She never stops talking and blabbering on about how nobody loves me, how I need to change, how I need to diet.

She makes people horrified of me, despite saying my gaunt face getting more and more disturbing is beautiful and proof im 'getting better at this' whatever this is.

She made all of my friends leave, only interacting through roleplay threads, comments I seem to forget about. I'm terrified of them though because if I get near them everything spills out of my mouth like clear, purely water, vomit.

She left me alone for weeks that felt like months. Since she drove everyone away.

Not that I had much left anyway. I soon became too tired to say a single word. Too braindead to breathe.

I couldn't chat normally for a few weeks after I met Ace, I had to learn it all over again. I'm still not good at it, I keep forgetting everything their wonderful, creative brain types out.

She completely isolated me.

Filling my brain with dreadful fog, clogging my memories lungs up so far that they choked up every memory I create as the days pass.

I almost forgot Thursday.

The beautiful angel who tried to get me out of this mess, but failed despite her best efforts. Not even getting a empty sounding 'thank you', ever. Just a 'you tried'.

How the fuck did I nearly forget her? Out of all the people who have tried me like nothing but a piece of gum below their shoe. How did I forget the only person who tried so hard to stay? The only person who didn't treat me like shit?

I don't know.

I'll never know.

Not like I'd remember anyway.

The girl has captivated my life, making me only think about weight loss and food. Nothing else.

It's almost like nothing else matters to her, as long as we are sicker and thinner.

Ana doesn't care. She rather me die then gain a pound.

She loves it when I'm cold.

The goosebumps forming on my skin, even with a heater im front of me.

The one thing I used to love, now I hate. It makes me feel like im going to die.

"Isn't that good?"

No.

It's like feeling someone strangle you until your face turns purple and you black out.

Pure misery.

Pure sadness.

Like Death. If you think that.

Ana only makes you feel dead. That's what she wanted in the first place.

She latches onto you when you feel the worst. Making you push everything away until you are alone.

She wraps her so called 'lovely' arms around your body and turns you into a self-hating mess of a person, she will continue to do this until you are nothing, until you see the light, never feeling beautiful.

Like black scribbles all over you, covering you until you are hidden away from the world.

So when I say, "I feel numb" this is what I mean.

That's what Numb feels like.

[itsalrightsblog]

It’s literally disgusting how many old freak pedos slither their way into the ED community. Those types of people are literally as low as it can get.

Reblog if you do not welcome pedos anywhere near your page‼️

[arduousflykid]

safe foods yeeeey :3

comment down below if ya have any reccomendationz!

[iluv-cottage-cheese]

No bc same

[ppumpkinpiiiee]

I don't want to be the fat friend anymore.

[m4yb3-f4t4ss]

I love love LOVE my tea

It’s cure for all my problems:

You’re cold? Drink tea!

You’re hot? Drink (ice) tea!

You’re dehydrated? Drink tea!

You’re stressed? Drink tea!

You’re sleepy in a middle of day? Drink (green) tea!

You can’t sleep? Drink tea!

You’re studying? Drink tea!

You’re hungry? Drink tea.

You want to eat less? Drink tea.

You want to kys? Drink tea.

[our-flag-means-love]

as someone whose abuser is very beloved and respected locally because no one but me and one other person know what they're like behind closed doors, seeing the way the crew treats izzy vs how they treat ed in the first half of s2 is both frustrating and all too familiar.

yes, izzy deserves support, and i believe that everyone, no matter what, should have an opportunity to grow and change, but god, hearing jim say "he was your friend" just hurts. especially bc it's not their fault. they didn't know. they knew he was a dick, but they didn't see the emotional abuse we all saw. no one but ed did. so he ends up being painted as the bad guy who flew off the handle and nearly got everyone killed while izzy only gets sympathy. and yes, ed did nearly get everyone killed, but i think the balance of blame vs sympathy would've been severely shifted if anyone else had witnessed the "i should've let the english kill you" scene. or anything else that izzy's been doing to ed for years, which he openly admits on his deathbed.

so it's just frustrating and disheartening to see ed get banished from the ship while izzy gets a new leg crafted and painted gold by the crew. i'm not saying that ed didn't deserve any criticism or that izzy didn't deserve a new leg. it just hurts that no one else Knows.

[greenhairedfreakglobal]

finally experiencing pretty privilege, I can't back down now. I HAVE to continue. I need to make ana proud

[svramblrdegg]

My scale broke so I can’t measure myself anymore. I think I’m gonna go crazy…

And I can’t ask my parents to buy another one because I think they’ll get suspicious of me.

SOMEONE HELP ME 😭

[angel19372]

does anyone have any warm/hot mealspo that isn’t eggs or konjac noodles (and preferably 200 cals or under)? i’m trying to plan my meals for tmmrw and idk what to eat for lunch and dinner 😭

[arduousflykid]

🕊️🕊️🕊️ my diet is sugar free soda🕊️🕊️🕊️

[iluv-cottage-cheese]

"You look so healthy again" makes me wna starve for the rest of my life 🙂🎀

[ppumpkinpiiiee]

"Starving doesn't help you lose weight" then how come I've lost 10kg since i started??

[mimicben]

I need to know more about Edward and Pamela as twins immediately

Twins who slay together, stay together