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blacknedsoul-blog · 1 day ago

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Montresor (and Willtresor) is the Bad Ending of the White Raven IV: the saga continues

Okay, now that these chapters have been released I can talk about this issue. I must say that this twist has been just the way I like twists: no, the surprising thing is not that it happened, but that, when you look back, it not only makes sense, it also recontextualizes some little things that stick around.

A person who is not there

There's one thing that's cross-cutting to these four idiots: they're absolutely desperate for someone to look at them. And when you think about it, it kind of makes sense: Lenore has lost the one person who seemed to even slightly care about her and locked up like an animal, Annabel is a hypocrite so terrified of being perceived as crazy that she's a breath away from collapse, Will is the kind of guy who blends in with the walls to such an extent that hardly anyone remembers his face, and Montresor has been seen as an devil since fucking birth.

However, the fine line that separates the Annabel/Will and Lenore/Montresor duo is drawn into something quite complicated: who are on the edge of the abyss and who can't fall any lower.

Both Montresor and Lenore, for different reasons, are trapped in inescapable situations: Montresor will never be anything more than a shit-talking charlatan in anyone's eyes and Lenore will die before she shakes off the label of a madwoman.

Then, they come along. These two people who have not only been able to look them in the eye, they are also people in whom they can see themselves reflected: a weak pushover who can't fend for himself and a lady who is one mental health slip away from being put in a straitjacket.

They have been that person. And their desperate cries for help have never been answered.

But this time may be different. If Lenore and Montresor can save Annabel and Will, in a way, they are also saving themselves. A 50/50 between a selfless motivation and a huge reassertion of one's own ego.

Which leads to the first difference.

Where Lenore offers Annabel a deal on equal terms, a “you and me against the world, baby”; Montresor has with Will a relationship based on subordination: it is he who must take care of Will and, thus, Will is beneath him.

What Annabel and Will understand from the arrangements of this deal are two very different things: where Annabel must live up to the extraordinary person that Lenore is in order to accompany her on equal terms, Will must make sure that he is a weak individual that Montresor can take care of and mistreat in order to feel superior when necessary.

This is not a problem for either of them because there is one little thing that Annabel and Will are able to mold as if it were plasticine: their identity.

Fragmented identities

These scenes have exactly the same purpose.

And I absolutely love them for that.

But let's take them one at a time.

Both Annabel and Will are two invisible people who at least feel like they've been saved by their favorite person. Lenore is Annabel's knight in shining armor and Montresor is the bad boy capable of moving forward despite everything that Will longs for.

They love them. And they need them.

Because Annabel is just a pretty accessory incapable of thinking outside the golden cage she's lived in all her life. And Will is incapable of thinking for himself because he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility of doing so.

So they build this perfect mask to please their special people. A carefully chiseled mask tailored to be loved based on what they believe their special person wants from them.

In both scenes, Annabel and Will have their world fall apart as they realize that the mask they have created for their loved one is not only unwanted, but viewed with disgust and contempt. So the mask slips for an instant to reveal what lies beneath only for their special people. But to very different ends and consequences.

Annabel drops her self-imposed role as unbeatable queen, begins to cry her eyes out, has a panic attack and even -to Lenore's surprise and horror- comes to doubt that she is loved. She is far from living up to the role she should have: she is scared, lonely and, from her reaction, probably doesn't even want to do this.

Of course, Lenore swoops in to comfort her because her beloved damsel in distress is in a vulnerable moment. But all it takes is for Lenore to suggest that Annabel can approach other people for the unbeatable queen to come back: even pushing her to the limit hasn't gotten her to get what's really going on out of her. And after Annabel would rather have Duke and Pluto throw her off a balcony than allow Lenore to reveal herself as a traitor to her friends, it is definite that Lenore has lost this battle: she has already exhausted all her options which have ranged from pleading, to loving words and, in this scene, to verbal violence. The unbeatable queen is in a place where she can't reach her and any future attempts will only succeed in putting the two of them in a more complicated situation.

On the other hand, Will has a small moment of vulnerability with Montresor, giving her this little speech that works as a confession: this confusion about whether he wants him or wants to be him is, as I read in some places, a fairly common situation among gay men. Before he dies, he ends up stealing Montresor a kiss.

But all this has been nothing more than to see his reaction. Because Will is not dead. Not at all.

Although he's put his feelings on the table, he doesn't seem to expect Montresor to return his affection. Just knowing that he cares seems to be enough for the moment, because he plays dumb after it all happens. But Will's made it pretty clear that he is capable of an enormous level of manipulation and that he works with a subtlety that even Annabel couldn't dream of.

Now that they've gotten a peek at what's beneath the masks, Lenore and Montresor find themselves trapped with monsters of their own creation that they are unable to comprehend: Lenore can't even fathom why Annabel continues to do this despite how much she's suffering and Montresor doesn't even know what Will's intentions really are.

Kind of deliciously ironic because didn't Lenore want her partner in crime? Didn't Montresor want his little mutt to fight a little?

Weren't they the ones who wanted to be their number one?

And, as the icing on the cake, they are alone in this, because the monsters they have created only let them get close. Everyone else in the world has been fooled by Annabel and Will's perfect masks, so if they wanted to (or even could) tell anyone about this absolutely no one would believe them.

Even if Lenore wanted to convince her friends that Annabel isn't a homicidal maniac, it's virtually impossible for them to believe her after what happened with Duke. And Montresor can't even begin to explain what Will did.

Love and control

Here I need to stir up the duos a bit.

Montresor and Annabel are not only blonde charlatans with parental problems, they have also learned to relate to the world in terms of control: they protect themselves by moving others around like pieces to get them to do what they want (at least in Nevermore, Annabel in life would not have been able to do these things as far as we know).

Where Annabel puts herself at the center of the board as a queen, Montresor is all about pissing off everyone around him because that's the only way he feels seen.

But they are not the ones with the upper hand in their relationship.

Will and Lenore have demonstrated by actions -we can't be sure in Lenore's case it's a conscious thing- that they are capable of giving all the affection, security, and loyalty if they get what they want from Montresor and Annabel.

It's hard to know what Will wants from Montresor at this point, but he seems quite content for his bad boy to remain his bad boy who has something resembling a soft side to him. In Lenore's case, this waltz between having doki dokis every time Annabel exists around her and being absolutely furious seems to be tied up in her desire to have Annabel by her side: when Annabel plays queen and walks away, pushing Lenore away from whatever is going on; she immediately becomes wary or, at worst, aggressive; but is caring and responsive when Annabel shows a vulnerable side.

This ends up generating a funny situation where the relationship between Montresor and Will is more functional than Lenore and Annabel's because there is one side subordinate to the other: Will has Montresor by the balls, but lets himself be mistreated; while Annabel refuses to put Lenore's desires above the danger they are both in (and even refuses to tell her what the fuck is going on).

Conclusions

Okay, I have to admit that I have been a bit dramatic in some parts of this essay and I have to rectify that so that you are not left with the wrong idea.

The first (and most obvious) thing is that it looks like Annabel is going to get to have honest relationships beyond Lenore. Of course, her friendship with Ada and Prospero can't really begin until the “allies till battle royale do them part” deal is dissolved and she's confronted for putting them both in a sticky situation. That yes, they signed up to be allies of the Machiavellian mastermind, but to Caesar what is Caesar's: no real friendship will form here until those bumps are crossed.

And speaking of Annabel, if there's one person who has a microscopic chance of believing Montresor the fucked up shit Will has done, it's possibly Annabel. My only argument is this:

Like, she doesn't say Will is harmless, she says isolation makes him pliable. And although she is underestimating him and not knows Will is a threat, but maybe she'd be willing to think Montresor isn't crazy if she finds out what happened.

Another point is the conclusion she ended up coming to in all these trials: the line that separates things is drawn on who has their heart in the right place and who doesn't. So, where Montresor is terrified of Will while Will holds a threat over Montresor's head, neither Lenore nor Annabel is afraid that the other might hurt them. And while we don't know what Lenore's feelings are about how she's been treating Annabel in some respects (this for the date I've uploaded this essay), if her face in this scene and the little spoiler that was uploaded to tumblr tell us one thing: It's that the answer is probably guilt. Let's see what comes out of that.

Finally, there's one not too nice thing I'd like to say about when I saw spoilers from the fast pass. Okay, I know this comic is moving at a snail's pace and that while it's been a few days for the characters, this chapter came out like fifty weeks ago. But people, with all my love: I want you to see the difference between Ada and Will's reactions in this scene. Ada is obviously uncomfortable and guilty; while Will has an “upsi” face.

And when Lenore confronts him, Will has the face to complaining that he is scared. He at no point in this confrontation shows a single shred of real remorse.

I know there are people who have been through abusive relationships who have identified with Will and I don't mean to go on to bring that up. But what these scenes raised at the time is that there is something off about this guy, something that should give you a bad feeling because his behavior doesn't fit that of a person who has been forced to do something terrible.

Another thing I've seen someone point out at the time is that Will feels different in his character presentation and has been getting more pathetic as we see him more screen time. We now know that he has been learning how to behave.

Add to that that his reaction is the only one we don't see when it's revealed that there's only a second life available and we only see it when Montresor shakes him. But he doesn't seem particularly affected beyond the chaos that's going on around him.

All these little things keep telling you that there's something wrong with Will. And what Chapter 120 does, is show you what the thing that didn't add up was: what we've been seeing so far is a mask worn by a much more twisted individual and, now that we know that, we can start to figure out who he is and what he really wants.

This, people, is William Willson in all his glory. And Will turns out not to be the protagonist, but the doppelganger tormenting him. I don't remember who said that theory, but: you were absolutely right.

Anyway, this has gotten long. Thank you very much for making it this far.

#nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #lenore nevermore #annabel lee whitlock #lenore vandernacht #white raven #nevermore webcomic #annabel lee x lenore #lennabel #Willtresor Nevermore #monty nevermore #nevermore will #I didn't know how to put this in the essay but also #where Will and Lenore make themselves look weaker than they really are #Montresor and Annabel pretend to be stronger than they really are #On a positive note: now I need Will and Annabel to have a cup of tea while talking about their crush #I like to think Annabel would come out of that conversation very horrified jajajajaja

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insomniac4000 · 1 day ago

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ChrisMD- Wedding Woes

The problem with being two internet-famous people in love was the internet part.

There was ChrisMD; The Youtuber. Known for football, free kicks, chaos with his mates, and his occasional vulnerable chatty videos about his mental health, and of course his short stature had somehow managed to keep his engagement to Y/N two million subscribers on Tiktok superstar, travel vlogger, and Instagram queen almost entirely under wraps for eight months.

That was a miracle in itself.

They had told their friends in phases: George Clarke first, who accidentally threw a cushion across the room and screamed when Y/N held up the ring during a game night. Then WillNE and Harry Lewis, who immediately began placing bets on who would cry more during the ceremony (odds were on Chris). Reev had cried when he found out. Theo Baker filmed a vlog that never aired where he just talked about how happy he was for them for ten minutes straight.

But they had kept it tight. Incredibly, miraculously tight.

Except now, three weeks away from the wedding, the pressure was mounting and they were both worried about fans catching on. Certain corners of the internet had ears sharper than any dog, eyes sharper than any owl, more cunning than any fox. They knew things, they found out things, they could be relentless. They were watching them. Always. And Y/N was exhausted.

She stood in the kitchen, steaming cup of coffee in her hands as she was deep in thought. She felt Chris’s arms snake gently around her waist from behind, his voice low. “Still thinking about it?”

Y/N didn’t answer for a beat. Then: “It’s like we’re fugitives.”

He chuckled into her shoulder. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’ve always wanted to be in a spy movie.”

“Chris.”

“I’m serious. We’ve got code names. Secret locations. George almost booked his flight under ‘Mr. Clarksworth’ like he was in Mission Impossible.”

Y/N sighed, leaning back against him. “It’s just not fun anymore. I didn’t think I’d care, but… they don’t know when to stop. I hate hiding. I hate lying.”

Chris turned her around, his expression gentler now. “We’re not lying. We’re just protecting it, protecting us.”

“They think we don’t trust them they’re still our fans.”

“Do you trust seven million strangers with knowing the time and place of our wedding?”

Y/N frowned. “…Fair point.”

Chris pulled her into a hug. “We’re doing the right thing.”

She let herself be wrapped in it for a moment. “I just wanted one thing… one thing that was just ours. But it’s like even when I’m not filming, I’m still being watched.” People often argued as she was a public figure that she wasn’t entitled to any privacy but she disagreed. Just because there were some aspects of her life that she felt comfortable about sharing that didn’t mean her whole life should be an open book.

Chris didn’t argue, in fact he wholeheartedly agreed with her. They only soft launched their relationship after four months because someone found out by studying Instagram backgrounds and recognising they were in the same place, twice. That was all it took. One of the main reasons why they fell in love was because they were on the same page, they understood each other. She knew him beyond free kicks and being short. He knew the Y/N who cried when she was overwhelmed, the one who needed quiet walks with no cameras, the one who didn’t want to feel like her entire life was up for review in the comments.

“Hey,” he said softly. “If it gets worse, we can cut more people. Smaller wedding. We can even just elope. Seriously. I’ll marry you in a shack on the beach if you want.”

Y/N looked up at him, amused despite herself. “A shack.”

“With a dog as a witness.”

“A dog?”

“A goat, then. Whatever Cabo Verde’s got.”

She finally smiled. “You’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me.”

“I do.”

He kissed her forehead, and for a moment, it all melted away.

Despite the tension, the operation was going surprisingly well. Their friends were incredibly supportive; George had filmed three weeks worth of his Podcast in advance, Arthur and Bach announced a season break for a month so no suspicions would be raised there. Will had a plan to set his Instagram location to constantly bounce between London and Madrid to throw people off. Her best friend and fellow content creator had a bunch of grid posts ready, some from the hen which had already taken place in Malta a few weeks before which would hopefully throw people off the scent, but even so the pressure was bubbling.

Two weeks until the big day, Y/N had a proper meltdown.

It was 1 a.m., and they were packing in their bedroom, surrounded by suitcases and crumpled lists. Chris was folding shirts. Y/N was staring at a list of last-minute confirmations from the wedding planner. And then, without warning, she burst into tears.

Chris was beside her in a second. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?”

“I just…” she sobbed, “I can’t; what if someone leaks it? What if it pisses it down?What if the flowers don’t arrive and the cake melts and I trip walking down the aisle and some idiot with a drone films it and I end up on MailOnline as ‘Influencer Bride FAILS Wedding’?”

Chris bit back a laugh and instead pulled her into a hug. “First of all, you could fall face-first into the cake and I’d still marry you. Second, we’ve got this. Everyone’s been so amazing. We’ve made it this far. And third—what if it’s perfect?”

She sniffled against his chest.

“What if the flowers are beautiful, and the sun sets at the perfect moment, and you walk down the aisle and I’m crying like a mug and everyone’s just... really, truly happy for us. And no one ruins it. Because we didn’t let them. But most of all, it will be perfect because I’m marrying you.”

Y/N pulled back, her eyes glassy. “That was disgustingly sweet.”

“Thank you, I try.”

She exhaled shakily. “I just hate this side of it. The guessing. The pressure. People thinking they’re owed every part of us.”

Chris nodded. “We owe them great content. We don’t owe them this.” He kissed her head, it was her absolute favourite kiss and always calmed her down.

The flight out was like a covert operation

All guests were told to stagger their flights where possible and arrive through different airports. Everyone was instructed not to post until after the wedding.

George, Bach and both Arthur’s arrived together and pretended they were shooting a platform roulette when the recording had actually taken place a few days beforehand. The Sidemen had an airtight excuse; they just posted that JJ and Tobi were in Dubai, a planned diversion. Even Freezy played along, posting photos of him “in Italy” while sipping cocktails on a veranda in Santa Maria.

Y/N and Chris flew separately, Chris going through Frankfurt, Y/N via Lisbon, meeting secretly in a quiet corner of the Cabo Verde airport before being whisked away in a blacked-out van.

“This is insane,” Y/N muttered, laughing despite herself as she flopped into the seat. “Feels like we’re in a spy movie.”

Chris leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Worth it though. Hi I’m Bond. Chris Bond.”

“You’re so corny,” she giggled, he sent her a cheeky grin in return, the type that made her heart melt.

The villa they were staying in the night before was everything they’d dreamed of.

Perched on a cliff with whitewashed walls and bright bougainvillaea, it had gorgeous views of the sea, warm breezes, and an air of tranquil privacy. Local chefs were preparing fresh food. The planner had delivered everything on time. The cake was perfect. The dress was here.

No one had leaked a thing.

The night before the wedding, Y/N stood barefoot on the balcony, her curls bouncing in the breeze. Below, fairy lights twinkled in the garden where guests were laughing over cocktails.

Chris joined her quietly. “Hey.”

She turned, smiling softly. “Hi.”

He reached for her hand. “Tomorrow’s the day.”

“Tomorrow, I’m going to marry you.”

They stood in silence for a while, just holding hands and watching the waves crash.

“I’m glad we did it this way. Despite all the stress. Y/N whispered. “We did it. We really kept it quiet.”

Chris pressed a kiss to her temple. “Tomorrow, we get to celebrate. Not for them. For us.” They toasted glasses of champagne.

The wedding was perfect.

No drones. No paparazzi. No fans screaming. Just laughter, family, friends, elegance, sunlight, and the sound of waves in the background.

Y/N walked down the aisle barefoot, veil trailing in the breeze. Chris’s hands shook as she approached, eyes already glassy. George tried not to cry. Reev failed miserably.

Their vows were quiet, private things. Promises made not for content, not for cameras, but for each other although Chris couldn’t help but add a little joke about the number of subscribers he had.

At the reception, they danced under string lights while the sea sparkled behind them. The food was phenomenal. Harry got too drunk and gave a speech about true love that ended in tears. Liv gave them matching friendship bracelets “to commemorate your ultimate collab.” Becky forced everyone to do a shot, even Chris’s nan, who was a little bit too willing to comply.

No one checked their phones. No one streamed. No one leaked a thing. It would be posted soon, in their own time. When they were ready, maybe after the honeymoon but for now it was their little secret.

#chrismd #chris dixon #chrismd fic #chrismd x reader #chrismd imagine

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fckmebarnes · 1 day ago

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˗ˏˋ ★ birds of a feather ★ ˎˊ˗

tfatws!bucky barnes x neighbor!reader

no real notes, just comfort. you and bucky are one of the same — plagued with bad dreams.

hi friends <3 here is a very very old work of mine! i hope u guys like this little fluff/comforting thing. kinda obsessed with them being wall buddies too. feedback is welcomed 💓

it started off small. shallow breaths were heard throughout his apartment, tossing and turning in his sheets, soaked with sweat and tears. pillows would be strewn around the floor in small piles, the only thing his body wrapped in was a thin, cotton white sheet.

but even then it didn’t stay on his bed.

then it got worse.

you could hear cries through your wall, wails that went straight to your heart and made you panic. “he’s fine.” neighbors would say as you worriedly asked them in the middle of the night and the door shut on your face.

those screams and cries were only made by someone who was hurt. by someone who couldn’t bare to be asleep in the dead of night because their mind was plagued with past events that never had an out.

you knew this because you had the same issue. sometimes there were nights where sleep was a distant friend, someone you hadn’t spoke with for a while and someone you hadn’t say hello to. it was just a mere thought at this point. something your brain couldn’t wrap itself around.

bucky was no stranger to insomnia. he knew the routine. the way his eyes darted back and forth under his closed eyelids, his chest heaving as his mind always went back to the dark and dirty hallway on his way to have his memory wiped for the umptheeth time.

his mind had him trapped in his memories, desperately looking for a key so he could unlock the door and leave but he never was able to find one. he was subjected to relieve each nightmare if he wanted to sleep.

but was it really sleep at that point if his mind was torturing him? was it really a good night’s rest if he woke up sweating, tears rolling down his cheeks that he didn’t even remember crying?

he never fully felt well rested. even when he was awake, he was left reliving the nightmares he just endured, thinking back to the dimly lit cell he was subjected to. the thin mattress with a tan sheet full of dirty, sweat and blood. the room held his body hostage while Hydra held his mind hostage. he felt fully trapped.

there were times in his dreams where he would get a glimpse of what his life would’ve looked like if he dind’t loose it for 70 years to being brainwashed.

he had always dreamt of his ma, dressed in his pale blue dress, her hair in those curlers he never understood. her smile would always make him feel warm in the corners of his mind. but it never lasted long. somehow it would always twist into something dark. he’d be sitting at the dining room table, laughing and smiling with is ma, and one look the other way she was getting hit over the head with something, a bag over her head and being hauled away. the cheery scene went from bright to happy to dull and miserable in a second. he knew he would never be lucky.

so when he met you, he had a hard time differentiating whether it was real or his mind playing tricks on him again. the smile you gave him was similar to the one his ma would give him in his dreams. it would make his chest warm, his palms sweaty and his tongue catch itself when he wanted to say something to you. but he could never work up the courage to even say hello to you.

he didn’t know what was happening, as he had never felt this way about someone.

he wasn’t sure that he was actually capable of feeling something other than sorrow and guilt. even with the copious amounts of therapy and talking through it, the guilt still ate away at him, chipping his soul each and every time he thought of someone he had to kill.

he laid on the couch, not opting for his bed. it was too soft for him, something he still wasn’t used to. he had a single flat pillow underneath his head with his sheets across his body and the tv playing some sports game he wasn’t really paying attention to. he was nervous, scared of falling asleep. he didn’t know what his mind would torture him with tonight, but he was exhausted. he had been up for the past two days solely living on espresso and energy drinks.

something had to change.

he closed his eyes and the instant he did, his brain and mind shut off.

there was no sound, eerily quiet as he treaded down the empty halls of the old hydra base. he could recall this memory so clearly. there had been a few left over traces of the program he was subjected to and while steve had urged him to sit this one out, he couldn’t. he needed to be the one to put this to an end.

the walls surrounding him were dingy, mold growing from the tops of the wall, through the many, many cracks. it smelled damp, smelled like iron. it was a smell only he could recall.

his boots were heavy on his feet, but the sound his footsteps made weren’t heard. his hand gripped the gun in his hand as he looked around a corner, back against the wall and clearing a section before moving forward.

that’s when he heard it.

that’s when he heard you.

you? no, that couldn’t possibly be right. he didn’t know you then, you weren’t there.

the sound of your cries bounced off the empty grim walls, shooting right through him that made him freeze in his spot mid step. he couldn’t keep going, not when your cries sounded like his as he got his mind wiped again. he didn’t want to see you strapped to the chair that he practically lived in when he wasn’t out on the streets putting bullets through innocent people. he wasn’t sure he could handle it.

“bucky!” his breathing hitched in his throat as he heard you yell out his name, only something his warped mind could create. it wasn’t familiar, it wasn’t something he knew. his heart rate picked up, sweat falling down the sides of his brow. he shook his head, placing his foot down and started in the direction of you.

this was the mission.

as he rounded the corner, there you sat in that dammed chair he would be strapped to. three men surrounded you, two of them holding your arms down while the other shoved the mouth guard into your mouth. tears ran down your face as the two of you had made eye contact, a muffled wail leaving your body. it twisted his heart as he watched the scene unfold, watching you memories be wiped from your brain just as it had been done to him.

he blinked hard, trying to rid of the tears that were in his eyes. he opened them again, to find the chair empty, and the three men looking in his direction, devilish grins sat upon each of their faces.

“well, if it isn’t the winter soldier himself. it seems you have crawled right back to us. men, get him.”

the second they started towards him, his body jolted up right, sheets thrown on the floor on a pile along with his pillow. his dog tags stuck to his sweaty chest. his metal arm propping him up on the couch. he looked over at the clock on his wall.

2:38 am.

with a sigh, he began to lay back down before he heard the front door, a soft knock against the wood. he grumbled, standing up and tossing on the shirt he must’ve taken off in his nightmare induced state. his dog tags clinked softly as he walked towards his door, opening it up to see you standing there with a blanket around your shoulders and a panicked look through your face.

“are you okay?” he was taken aback at the question, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched your eyes dart over his face to find something, anything you could. “i heard you next door. we are wall buddy’s i- im sorry if this is weird.” you began to walk away before he struck his and out and grabbed your wrist lightly, not wanting you to leave.

“come inside, please.” his voice was soft, but you could hear the pain in his tone. you nodded, gravitating towards him as he moved out of the way and let you in. you noticed the pillow and sheet on the floor, the tv turned to a random channel and a lone cup of cold tea on the coffee table.

“are you okay?” you asked again as you turned to him, his hands awkwardly at his side before he went to sit down on the couch. his brows furrowed to a tight knit, a deep dimple inbetween his eyebrows made you want to reach out and sooth it with your thumb.

“what are you doing up so late? did i wake you?” you shook your head, playing with a piece of your blanket.

“no i, i was already awake. i don’t sleep well most nights.” you mumbled softly, and saw him nod in the corner of your eye. finally, someone understood, he thought.

the next few weeks ended up with you always coming to his apartment at 2 am, falling asleep next to each other in his bed that you somehow convinced him to sleep in when you were with him. other times, though he slept on the couch or on the hard floor in his living room. he didn’t want to ruin the feelings he had when he slept in his bed.

you two had ended up making chamomile tea before bed anytime you came over, a splash of oatmilk and sitting out on his balcony and talking about anything and everything. he never hid his past from you, didn’t hide his metal arm from you and was always upfront and honest with him. you appreciated it, and you could tell it was therapeutic for him and helped him sleep a little better.

there was one particular night where you showed up a little earlier than agreed upon, and the second he opened the door and saw your eyes red and strained, dry tear streaks down your cheeks he knew it was important. he ushered you in and his arms wrapped around your blanket covered shoulders, your face smushed against his chest as you let out shaky breaths trying to control your emotions from crying again.

his flesh hand ran through your hair while his metal hand held your lower back, pressing you closer to him as he spoke softly trying to calm the panic attack that wanted to ride through your body.

“shh.. it’s okay, doll. you’re okay.” he had learned through the late night talks on the balcony that you had nightmares of your parents. they started out nice, calm and okay. but usually ended up with your parents yelling at you, throwing things at you and you were crying so hard in your dream that it woke you up to crying in real life. it was so hard to have a good day after that.

this one wasn’t any different.

your arms wrapped around bucky’s waist, your blanket falling to the cold hardwood floor. his heart ached at the sight knowing how much you cared for the comfort of your blankets but he felt how much you needed his comfort in this moment. he leaned over and scooped you up in his arms, his flesh arm underneath the crook of your legs and his metal arm underneath your back, your arms hooked around his neck, your face never leaving the crook of his skin, eyes closed as he carried you into his room and set you gently down on the bed.

usually it was you holding him in your arms, his head against your chest and your fingers through his hair to calm the thunderstorm behind his brain. but this time, he wanted to be that for you.

“can we try something different tonight, doll?” you look up at him, your face flushed from your body temperature rising from trying to fight back the tears. you bit your lip and nodded, watching as he smiled softly and crawled into bed behind you and wrapped his arms securely around your middle.

“is this okay?” his voice was slow and timid, almost afraid to speak any louder as you would burst into tears. but you felt the second he wrapped his arms around your middle and his hands slid under your shirt and pressed flatly against your skin, your body instantly relaxed against him. he didn’t need a verbal answer, he heard your heartbeat slow as his thumb rubbed your skin gently.

the warmth that enveloped you from bucky made you tired, you placed your hands under the pillow, feeling his nose nudge the nape of your neck affectionately, a soft kiss against your skin as a gesture to you that it was okay to fall asleep. that he’d be here when you woke up. he didn’t know what came over him all of a sudden, but feeling himself complete given himself up to you over the last few weeks made him want you to do the same, to show you that he was a safe person to come to. that’s all he ever wanted: was for you to feel safe around him.

and you did, you couldn’t explain how it felt seeing his steel blue eyes answer the door at two in the morning, the way his arms tangled themselves around your legs as his head was in your lap and your hands through his hair, carding your fingers through the locks soothingly as he closed his eyes.

you couldn’t explain how it made you feel when you said something funny and watched as his eyes crinkle with delight, the laugh coming from his lips sounding hoarse as if he hadn’t had a proper laugh in years and that this was his first time finding humor in something.

you ignited something in his soul, deep within his chest that he was subconsciously searching for. he wanted to know what it was like to live again, to see the sun and not hide away behind the darkened curtains of his apartment, to venture outside and not make eye contact with anyone in fear that they’d look at him wrong. he was finally able to leave his apartment and run into someone, gesturing slowly to apologize and not feel awkward, not stumble off and have a panic attack because of “what if they called the police on me?”

and the nights he slept next to you, were something to remember. he was finally able to wake up the next day and not feel groggy, he didn’t feel the need to take midday naps, and he was finally able to see the dark circles disappear each morning he woke up.

you were the light that ignited his soul. you had been the one he was yearning for all this time, and he was finally able to allow himself to just feel.

the way you bit your lip when you were anxious talking about something didn’t go unnoticed to him. how you fidgeted with your fingers in your lap and looked down, a stray piece of hair falling in front of his face that made him reach out and tug it back behind your ear as you leaned into his touch.

the way you looked at him and hung onto his ever word as he told you about his past, or how he was annoyed that everything was more expensive than it was back in the 40’s. you would laugh as he grumbled, making him secretly smile away from you.

you remembered each detail he’d tell you about his ma; how she made the best apple pie with the most perfect crust and a side of vanilla ice cream. how she would fix his suit every single time before he went out to work, and how she’d how pou lucks every sunday. you knew she was popular in the neighborhood, that everyone talked about winniefred, how she had the kindest smile and sweetest voice that would make everyone including the grumpiest men on the street, smile.

you understood where he got the sweet talking from. he was good at convincing you to stay for another cup of tea, and just ‘10 more minutes’ in bed as the sun creeped through the blinds and spilled over the bed sheets.

you never missed the way his hair would stick to his forehead, he ran hot at night with or without a night mare, and his lips would be slightly parted and a little chapped from the light snores he’d make but for once you weren’t annoyed when someone snored. his metal arm would always be on your thigh, his hand splayed out on your skin, and the coolness making you cuddle under the blanket. you’d try to move but his hand would squeeze your thigh, and a soft whine coming from his lips. “not yet, baby.” and you’d listen, because how could you deny the sleepy man next to you.

you had never come to truly understand bucky as a whole, but that was okay. because you understood there were certain parts of him that even he didn’t understand but that didn’t mean the two of you didn’t try to figure out together.

after a hard nightmare, you’d hold him in your arms, your fingers running down his temple to his stubble covered cheek and back up again, watching his lips move and explain his nightmare. you watched his eyes dart back and forth as if he was looking at a timeline in front of him trying to piece it together but ending up frustrated because he just couldn’t remember. “all in due time, jamie. it’s okay. there’s no rush.” his body would relax at your words as you looked down at him adoringly, and for once in his life, he trusted those words.

after always on the run, constantly moving from location to location, he was finally given the time he needed to try and put himself back together. and he knew you’d be there handing him the pieces he found, and put them back right into place.

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catssluvr · 1 day ago

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misty quigley with loser!reader headcanons <3

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Misty is used to being perceived as the weirdo in the group so gets honestly so happy when the attention she receives is of the good kind.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ First sees you sitting on the stands watching the soccer practice and thinks you’re there because you have a crush on of the girls.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Is honestly surprised when you come up to her stuttering about how you think she’s great at helping the coach and ‘picking up cones’. Might think you’re mocking her at first but quickly realizes it’s just your painfully awkward way of trying to compliment her.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Feels so giddy to know that you sit there even without caring about soccer just because you want her attention.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Starts talking to you at every opportunity and joins you for lunch since you’re usually alone. Even brings extra dessert so she can share it with you.

“Here, i made some sugar cookies with strawberry frosting. Would be a waste if you didn’t try them :D”

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Probably doesn’t realize she’s head over heels at first even though everybody else has noticed she’s incredibly obsessed with you (wouldn’t be misty if she wasn’t.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Also doesn’t notice how her skin feels tingly every time you accidentally touch because you always end up scrambling away from embarrassment and regretting it right after.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Tries not to giggle when you join the soccer club just to fall face flat on the floor and get a bleeding nose without as much as touching the ball.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ She does calm you down after it though, cleaning you up and wiping your embarrassed tears. Feels bad for thinking it was funny now that she knows you were really trying to impress her.

“C’mon don’t cry. I think it’s amazing that you tried!!”

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Invites you over to her house for her first ever sleepover and literally makes sure everything is perfect for you even though you’d take anything she prepares for you. Makes a pillow fort so you can watch movies and spends the whole day preparing hundreds of snacks.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ It’s in that sleepover that Misty gives you your first ever kiss, which at first is a bit of a mess since it’s also her first kiss but you quickly get the hang of it. After that moment she definitely knows she’s in love with you and can’t help but press her lips back to your again when you pull away to blurt an apology.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Treats you like a girlfriend from then on, talking about you to her friends until they can’t hear your name anymore.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Loves your clumsiness but is constantly worried and hates it when you get hurt because of it, mostly if you were trying to impress or do something for her.

“You already have my attention, silly.”

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Really enjoys the fact that for the first time in her life she isn’t the one who has to run after someone in order to be seen and gets to have all the affection in the world being thrown at her.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Wants to learn about all of your silly hobbies. Will gladly spend an afternoon making bracelets or playing board games if that means she gets to see you happy.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ She has been considered quite the loser for her whole life so hates the idea of anyone mocking you for who you are. Defends you even if that means getting teased too.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Isn’t just your girlfriend but also your best friend, there’s not one secret between you. You know all of the good and bad things about her and vice versa.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ You’re always together, to the point where people will look for you if they don’t know where Misty is.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Probably calls you very corny pet names like ‘silly’ or ‘bug’ but it really comes from the heart, her love for you is very loud and there is no shame when it comes to you.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Even though there is absolutely no way you’d cheat on her, Misty can’t help but get jealous whenever you make one of your horrible jokes to someone else (but quickly calms down when she hears you tell the person you have to tell Misty that joke).

#misty quigley x reader #misty quigley #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #misty quigley x you

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izzih22 · 2 days ago

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Chapter 6: Almost

Note: should I post the rest… hmm… idk

It had been four days since prom.

Four days since Azzi had sat in Paige’s lap in the dark, trembling and broken, her voice barely holding up as she told her everything that had happened. Four days since Paige had wrapped her up like something sacred and whispered things Azzi had barely let herself believe she needed to hear.

Four days, and they hadn’t talked about it again.

Not directly.

There were glances, touches, a few quiet pauses when something came too close to the memory. But mostly, they did what they always did—they existed in that strange, magnetic space between friends and something so much more.

And now, with a few more days until Paige had to fly back to Minnesota, everything felt like it was ticking down.

But they weren’t rushing through the time.

They were stretching it out.

The Fudd house was chaotic in the best way that morning. Jose and John were fighting over cereal again—Azzi’s mom had bought the last box of the good kind, and Jose insisted he’d called dibs last night. Katie stood in the doorway holding her coffee like it was the only thing keeping her from launching the cereal box out the window.

Paige was sitting at the kitchen island, grinning like she’d been part of the family forever. She was eating toast and stealing pieces of bacon off Azzi’s plate whenever she wasn’t paying attention.

Azzi elbowed her. “You have your own bacon.”

“Yeah, but yours tastes better,” Paige said, popping another piece in her mouth.

“You’re the worst guest.”

“You say that, but you’d cry if I left early.”

Azzi rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it.

Katie raised a brow behind her mug and mouthed mhm as she turned back toward the sink.

That afternoon, it rained out of nowhere—thunderous, hot summer rain that hit the roof hard and made everything smell like wet pavement and grass. Azzi tugged Paige out onto the covered back porch just as the sky opened up.

“God, I forgot how loud it gets here,” Paige said, eyes wide as the rain pounded down like a drumline.

“You miss it?”

“Kind of,” Paige admitted. “Not the bugs. But this? Yeah. This I miss.”

Azzi leaned her shoulder against the porch beam and watched Paige. Not the rain. Just her.

“You always look different here,” Azzi said quietly.

“Different how?”

“More like you. The you I knew before everything.”

Paige blinked. “Before what?”

Azzi shrugged, glancing away. “Before the cameras. Before the hype. Before college coaches started drooling over you and you got your own freaking documentary.”

“I don’t even feel like that person most days.”

“Good,” Azzi said. “She’s kind of intimidating.”

Paige laughed—loud and full and completely unguarded. “You think I’m intimidating?”

Azzi turned to face her fully. “Sometimes.”

They were only a few inches apart now.

“You’re not scared of me though,” Paige said, teasing, but softer underneath.

“No,” Azzi said, shaking her head. “Never scared.”

Paige’s smile faded a little. The moment stretched.

And then Jose banged on the glass door behind them.

“Hey! Are y’all emotionally staring at each other again?”

Azzi groaned and turned away. “I’m going to kill him.”

Paige snorted and followed her back inside.

Later that night, they played Uno with the boys in the living room. Paige and Azzi teamed up, obviously, even though Jose tried to argue it was unfair.

“They cheat without even trying,” John said, throwing down a Draw Four with a dramatic sigh.

“Jealousy looks bad on you,” Paige said, smirking.

“Y’all need to stop finishing each other’s sentences,” Jose added.

“We don’t do that,” Azzi said at the exact same time Paige said the same thing.

Everyone groaned.

Katie popped her head in from the kitchen. “Let me know when you’re all done being in denial.”

“Mom!” Azzi called, mortified.

But Paige just laughed until her sides hurt.

They ended up in Azzi’s room again, like always. No real bedtime when you were teenagers and the clock didn’t matter as much as being close to someone who made you feel whole.

Azzi lay on her stomach on the bed, scrolling through her phone lazily. Paige sat beside her with her legs stretched out, picking at the threads of the comforter like it had secrets.

“You never talk about prom,” Paige said finally.

Azzi stopped scrolling. Her phone dimmed. She didn’t look up. “There’s not much to say.”

“There’s everything to say.”

Azzi’s jaw tightened, but only for a second. Then she rolled onto her back, looking at the ceiling.

“I think I overreacted,” she admitted. “Like… it wasn’t that bad, right?”

“Azzi.”

“I mean, I got out. He didn’t—he didn’t—”

“Don’t do that,” Paige said, voice sharp but still gentle. “Don’t shrink what happened just because it didn’t go further. You felt unsafe. That’s enough. That’s all that matters.”

Azzi blinked fast, eyes glossy.

“And you called me,” Paige said more quietly. “You trusted me. That’s not something I’ll ever take lightly.”

Azzi sat up then, suddenly needing to be closer. Paige looked at her, and it was all over her face—fierce protectiveness, softness, something trembling underneath.

“You looked like you wanted to kill him,” Azzi whispered.

Paige nodded. “I still do.”

A silence settled between them again, but it was warmer now. Thicker with something unspoken.

“I almost kissed you that night,” Azzi said suddenly.

Paige didn’t move.

“I didn’t. But I wanted to.”

Paige swallowed. “I know.”

Their eyes met and held.

“I think about it sometimes,” Azzi admitted.

“Me too.”

“But we didn’t.”

“No,” Paige agreed, voice low.

They were close now. Knees touching. Hands so close on the bedspread that if one of them shifted even an inch—

“But if we did now,” Azzi said carefully, “would it change things?”

Paige looked at her, really looked. Her voice was quieter than before.

“I don’t want to do this unless you’re sure.”

“I’m not,” Azzi said. “But I want to be.”

Paige nodded, her face unreadable.

“I’ll wait.”

“You always do,” Azzi said, with something like gratitude and guilt.

“Because you’re worth it,” Paige said. “And because I’m scared too.”

Azzi blinked, caught off guard. “You?”

Paige nodded. “If I kiss you, I’m not going to want to stop.”

Azzi’s breath caught. “That’s not fair.”

“I know.”

They sat in that moment for a long time—both too brave and too scared, hearts racing, the space between them humming with almosts and not yets.

Then Paige reached out slowly and took Azzi’s hand. Just that.

Azzi squeezed it like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.

And maybe it was.

Neither of them kissed that night.

But when they curled into bed, there was a different kind of closeness. A kind of silence that held so much more than words.

Paige lay on her back. Azzi tucked against her side, head resting on her shoulder, hand resting over her heart.

It was steady, strong, familiar.

Azzi whispered something into her shirt that Paige couldn’t quite make out.

“What’d you say?”

Azzi paused. Then said, louder, “Don’t leave until you have to.”

“I won’t,” Paige promised.

“And don’t kiss me unless you mean it.”

“I already do.”

Outside, the rain had stopped.

But the storm inside them?

That was still brewing.

#pazzi fics #paige bueckers #paige x azzi #uconn wbb #azzi fudd #paige and azzi #pazzi

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kookochan · 8 hours ago

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Messy Thoughts

Loving someone is scary sometimes. You think about every possibility that could happen, and the worst part is that it's making you feel like you're falling apart.

Summary: your fiancé decided to become a pro at boxing, but will your fears give you peace? +18

boxer Jungkook x fem! student reader

warnings/content: a little angst, smut (oral sex m receiving) , mention of blood and bruises, overthinking, jealousy, childhood trauma (violence, loss of a parent) and ghosting (?)

wc: 5,2K

── .✦

Days ago you were swearing to God that you wouldn't be here. You said you won't come to watch him and that you won't help him if he gets hurt. But here you are, sitting in a corner of the room and watching him. You think back at the time when you thought your life could change. Today you're sure that it was a lie. Not even a dream.

You can remember your 10th birthday, where you were sitting in your room and counting the seconds. Praying that your mother would survive the night while your father was beating her up. That wasn't the perfect birthday you imagined. But when your friends asked about it, you would say that it was perfect. That you got a lot of new dolls and plushies. A big cake that your parents baked for you.

Years went by with a hope that one day everything would change. The day your mother died, you couldn't even cry about the loss. In a twisted way, you were happy that she wasn't suffering anymore. It was a big loss for your father, who needed a new person to let out his stress. And there was you. In his eyes, a perfect copy of your mother.

You were different than your mother. She wouldn't talk back to him or fight him back. But you would yell at him every time he was yelling. You would weakly try to push him back when he tried to hit you. He wouldn't like that.

In your 17 years of living, you couldn't see the world in colors. There was no reason to hold on, and every other day you stopped dreaming of a new life. Till the day you met Jungkook. You were classmates, and the relationship started with being friends. And yes, you quickly caught feelings for him, which he returned with all of his heart.

You would climb up his window at night. Just for him to hold you and clean your wounds. He promised you that he will do everything to change your life. You would cry in his arms without realizing that he is crying too. He was the reason that you found your smile back.

When you turned 18, he proposed to move out with him. There wasn't a lot to think about. His family has a wealthy background, so they supported him with money. It wasn't jealousy, but you adored his family situation. They were truly lucky and loved. Moving out was a big step to your new life. You have lost contact with your father. He wasn't pleased about the idea of losing you, but you never listened to him.

And now you're 24 years old and he is 25. In the meantime, you got engaged, and you can't imagine a day without him. Your love grew stronger, and he became your favorite person in the world. But today you hate him for his decision. He is standing in the middle of the boxing ring. You can only see his eyes.

You take the room in. His opponent doesn't look like he is in the same weight class as him. Also, he is famous as the boxing beast. You're scared that this will be Jungkook's last match.

"You don't want to accept this offer, do you?" you ask him in shock. "Baby, I would get a lot of money, and also my status would change," he says and quickly grabs your hands to avoid you from walking away. You chuckle at him. "You can get hurt really bad, Jungkook. Don't you remember the match months ago? You needed to stay hospitalized because of your stupid decision." You can see that he is not liking the reminder.

"I know that you think about me, and I really appreciate it. But taking a risk is a part of my job," he says and places a kiss on your jaw. "I don't like where this conversation is going. You're not asking me, right? You made your mind, and you're just telling me," you say as you pull away from his hold. He quickly whines at the loss of contact. "I don't want to lie. I already accepted it and just need to sign. I promise you that I will be fine," he says with honesty. You make a pause before talking. "Okay, do what you want, and I swear to God, I will not come watching you," you say your final word and walk to the bathroom.

Sometimes you forget that he is a lot more stubborn than you. He signed that contract, and now you wait for the final round. The match was exciting for the audience. They were cheering along or screaming if they got angry.

The last match begins, and you shut your eyes. You don't want to see him get hurt. You have already seen the blood on his face, and it's enough. After some minutes, the round is over, and you're genuinely surprised that he won.

Jungkook's eyes are searching for you. He is happy that he won but also broken that he is standing here without your support. His eyes find you, and he smiles. "We need to go back," Namjoon says and pulls him away. "She came," he tells him happily. Namjoon turns to him. "She texted me yesterday and asked about today. Did you really think she wouldn't be here?" Jungkook grins at the information because, no, he really thought you wouldn't come. After all, you slept with your back facing him. He was so sad about it.

"Look at your ugly face," Jin says and starts cleaning the mess. "Woah, stop being so harsh," Jungkook says and starts pouting. Jin ignores him and goes on. You watch them from the door with a straight face. Of course you're happy that he was right at the end of the day, but that doesn't mean that you're happy with his decision. Your eyes wander from his head to his toes. He looks hot like this, but no, you can't melt.

Jungkook opens his eyes and meets yours. "Baby?!" he says with a smile. You feel your knees getting weak. "Hello, guys," you say to the others. Jin and Namjoon greet you back with a soft smile. You can see Jungkook frown, and you raise a brow at him. Poor man looks like he lost his whole career.

"Yn! Nice to see you, princess," Tae says and hugs you from the side. You smile at him and hug him back. "Nice to see you too. How are you?" you ask him. So you start a conversation with him. Jin looks at Jungkook's sad expression and says, "Come on, man, loosen up a bit. You can talk to her later." Jungkook nods to him and thinks of ways to get your attention.

•

You walk out of your bathroom with ointment and a towel. Jungkook took a shower before you and already sits on the large couch watching a show. You walk towards him, and his head turns towards you. He watches as you stand in front of him with wet hair. He doesn't waste time and holds your waist while looking into your eyes. You can't describe how cute he looks like this.

You sit down on his lap and start to treat his bruises on his face. He watches your hands doing their magic. "Are you still mad at me?" he asks softly. You sigh and pat his face with the damp towel. When you're sure that your job is done, you place everything on your side. "I am," you say with a pout. He brushes your hair with his fingers. "I'm sorry, baby. I don't want to make you worried," he says. You nod at him, "I know, and I also know that we talked about it a lot. I'm just scared."

He starts kissing your neck and shoulder. "I promise you that I will be fine and that I won't get hurt," he says. His fingers already started moving on your back. "That is an empty promise, Jungkook. You know that you can't control it," you say, tilting your head. He smiles at you, "I know, but I will do everything to hold my promise." You hug him tightly and think about all of this.

Jungkook knows that you're thinking a lot about his job. To be exact, since the day he told you that he wants to do it professionally. Boxing was his hobby, but he always dreamt of a big career. He started 2 years ago and is already ranked high. But he wants more; he is competitive. Sometimes you wish that he would return to his studies, but you know that's just selfish.

"How was your day?" he asks genuinely. "I skipped class. And I need to study for my exam next week. It's about Hamlet by Shakespeare," you answer. He pats your head. "You're always doing great, baby. Don't stress yourself too much," he says. You place a soft kiss on his neck. The little gesture causes goosebumps on his body.

"I missed you the whole night," he says with a pout on his face. You move back a little to look at him. "What? I was sleeping next to you." "You turned your back on me! I was so sad," he says with big eyes. You tilt your head and say, "You're so dramatic. But I know how to get your heart back." He watches as you move your hand over his chest, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants.

You stand up from his lap to drop on your knees in front of him. His eyes darken immediately, and he starts playing with your hair. You waste no time in pulling his sweatpants down with his boxers. Before you can touch him, he stops you by holding your hand. He bends down to pull the carpet under your knees. "Get on it; you will hurt your knees." And this little gesture shows you once more why you love him.

When you're comfortable in the position, you start to touch his already hardened dick. He leans back at the sensation and watches your moves with half-lidded eyes. You start with little kitten licks before taking him into your mouth. He moans your name, and his hand quickly finds your hair. You've been dating him for longer than seven years, but you're still not used to his size. You bob your head the way you know he loves.

"You look so pretty, baby," he says while watching your already glassy eyes. He can't control himself and tightens his grip on your hair. "Relax your throat a little," he says and starts moving his hips at your pace. You place your hands on his thighs and tap him as a signal that he can take control. He catches the instruction quickly and takes control. "Such a good girl for me," he hisses. His pace quickens, and you moan at that. "Fuck," he says as he feels the vibration. It doesn't take him long to feel the heat rushing.

"I will come, baby," he says and tries to pull away. But you squeeze his free hand to let him know it's fine. He throws his head back, and you feel thick ropes filling your mouth. When he came down from his high, you slightly pulled away and swallowed his seed down. You laugh at his blown-out face and tug him back in his boxers and sweatpants.

"I love you," he says while smiling at you with those dangerous sparkling eyes. "I love you too," you say before standing up. "I want to thank you for this," he says and holds one of your legs so that you can't walk away. "You can thank me later. You need to rest and get more energy," you say. He pouts at that, but he knows that there is no chance of convincing you.

When you both lie down in bed, you're fast asleep. But some unshared things are holding him back from falling asleep. He looks at you with guilt bubbling in his stomach.

•

You highlight the last word and look at the whole page. "Fuck, I nearly highlighted the whole page," you say to yourself. Chemistry is your most hated subject, but you need to do this course for this semester. You already finished uni two hours ago, and now you're sitting at your part-time job. A little cafe on a busy street, but right now it's not that crowded. Enough time to study behind the desk.

"Hi princess! What's up?" You hear a familiar voice. You look up to see Tae and Namjoon waving at you. "Hii, I'm doing good, and you?" you ask and start doing their usual order. "It's a little stressful these days. You know all the booking and organization," he says, leaning on one of his arms. You nod at his words. "That sounds stressful. Where are you going?" you ask interestedly and hand him his coffee before preparing Namjoon's matcha.

"He is talking about the tour with Jungkook," Namjoon says. You freeze for a moment. 'Which tour?'. But if you ask that way, they will know that you have no information about it. "Oh, okay! Tell me about the exact plan, please. Jungkook was too lazy to explain it to me," you lie. I got you! So first we fly to London for two days. There will be the first match. And then we will fly to Paris for the second match. We planned to stay for two days. At least we will fly to Tokyo for the last match. It's not clear how long we will stay because if he wins all of them, we want to celebrate. Also, we're going in such a big group; a little party wouldn't be bad, right? And sorry for Nari coming too; she will be filming everything," he says a little guilty about the last part.

For understanding, you hate Nari. And everyone knows that. She had a crush on Jungkook, and after finding out that you both dated, she continued to drool over him. And she is going with Jungkook? You are seconds away from breaking everything near you. But instead you hand Namjoon his matcha. You want to tell Tae that everything is fine because you're not even invited by your boyfriend (fiancé).

"That sounds like a plan," you say and smile at him. He looks worried that you skipped the part with Nari, but he doesn't comment on it. "Let's talk about it later. We need to go," he says and lends you his card. "Nah, you don't need to pay," you say and push his hand away. He tries anyway and gives up when other customers walk in. You wave at both of them and continue to work. The topic is still heavy in your head.

•

You close your textbook after taking some notes for your upcoming exam. Sitting on the floor was a bad idea; your back hurts like hell. You lean against the couch and watch the raindrops fall from the window. Why would he not tell you about something this big? Are you making him feel bad about his job? Did you already grow apart? All these thoughts are making you tear up.

At the other end of the room, you hear Jungkook happily preparing dinner. He told you that you worked hard today and needed some good food. You look down at your engagement ring and play with it. "Baby food is done," he announces, and you walk to the table. You start eating without saying a word. The fact that he cooked your favorite meal is crashing you down, and you feel too many emotions.

He watches as you quietly eat your food. He knows something is off, but he doesn't want to push you to tell him. He knows that you need your space sometimes, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't worry about you. And then he remembers something that he needs to tell you. But he is scared of your reaction, so he delays it for tomorrow.

You finish your plate and smile at him, "Thank you, baby, it was delicious." He smiles back at you, but you wait for him to tell you what you already know, but nothing is coming out of his mouth. So you stand up and make your way to the kitchen. He follows you like a lost puppy. "I will do the dishes. You can start with your bed routine," he says and places a kiss on your cheek. You nod at him and walk away.

When you both finally lie in bed, you watch him do sketches on his iPad. You wonder why it's so hard for him to tell you about next week. But you will give him a chance in the morning. You're positive that he would tell you at breakfast. Maybe he didn't say anything tonight because he thought that you were tired enough. You close your eyes and fall asleep quickly.

Jungkook looks at the clock and realizes that he has already worked on his project for over two hours. His eyes wander at your face only to realize that you're crying in your sleep. He quickly puts his iPad on the nightstand, and by that time, you start to shake. Your hands weakly gripping the duvet. He softly calls your name in hope that you would wake up. But you open your eyes and quickly sit up.

He worriedly watches the way you look around. You don't even notice his presence. Dreaming about your dad was nothing new, but dreaming about your dad and Nari was a nightmare. You place your hand on your chest, crying even harder. Then you feel Jungkook's soft touch, but you can't hear what he is saying. He hugs you tightly and places kisses on your hair.

"All good, baby, you're here with me and safe," you finally hear him say. When you hold his hand, you feel the missing ring. You look down to confirm that you're tripping right now, but you're not. Jungkook gently wipes your tears without noticing what you just discovered.

You slightly pull away, and your heart breaks again when you see him smile with those eyes. "Where is your ring?" you ask him. His smile drops, and you can see that he feels bad about it. "I think I forgot it when I was training. But I swear I will look for it tomorrow!" he explains while moving his hands around.

"Maybe it's fate that you lost it," you say too quickly. "What?" he asks, and you can feel that he is scared. You lay back down, already regretting the words that you said. This bed feels too much for you right now; everything feels too much. You want to go out and breathe the fresh air. But your body betrays you, and you start crying again.

Jungkook is watching your movements, his heart beating faster than before. He doesn't want to know the meaning of your words. His hands find yours, and he is scared. "Baby, talk to me. What's wrong?" he asks gently. He knew that you would be mad at him for losing his ring. But he is sure that it's in the locker room.

You pull your hand away and cover your face with both hands. It's too much to talk about right now, but you know he wouldn't leave it at that. When you calmed down a bit, you sat up and looked at him. He is already playing with his lip ring. A habit that he has when he's stressed.

"Why didn't you tell me about the tour?" you ask him right away. He blinks a few times, not ready for the question. "I wanted to tell you and ask you to come with me, but I needed a better time. You know we argued about the last match that I had. I don't want to argue with you, love," he says. You nod and ask him, "Am I giving you weird feelings about your job?"

"No, baby, you never make me feel weird. I know that you're just worried about me. And I understand that," he says and strokes your hair. "You're lying, Jungkook. You would tell me everything about this fucking tour if you didn't doubt anything. And it's not only the tour! You're going with Nari! I don't like it!" you say while new tears are welling up in your eyes.

He looks down for a bit. You know that he doesn't know what to say. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like you need a perfect time to tell me about your job, Jungkook. That was never my intention. I'm just scared of losing you. You're everything to me, and I can't imagine a single day without you. But I'm also mad that you didn't talk to me about the doubts in your head. You could've asked me why I feel this way, or I don't know. I never thought that we would have this conversation," you add.

He looks up at you. "I know that you don't like the idea of me becoming a pro at boxing. But I thought about it a lot. It's my dream, yes, but you're also a part of it. I don't want you to think that I have any doubts. I swear I wanted to talk to you about it, but I needed more time and good timing. I would never leave without you, by the way! I already told everyone that you're coming with me," he says. You look at his eyes and smile. "I hate Nari," you say and pout. He laughs at you and messes with your hair.

"Are you mad at me?" he asks. And you don't want to lie, so you nod. He places a kiss next to your lips. "I'm sorry, baby. I never wanted you to feel this way." You pat his head. "I love you, and I would do so much for you. I'm just scared that I'm not showing you enough," you say. But he quickly denies. "No baby. You're doing a lot for me, and I feel how much you love me. Please stop thinking that, okay?" he asks. You kiss his cheek and nod again.

"Now let's sleep a little longer; you need to wake up in some hours," he says and moves so that you're lying down. You place your head on his chest and close your eyes. Your heart feels a lot lighter.

•

One week later, and you're sitting with your friend. Lia invited you over, and you're doing a girls night. You talked again with Jungkook the next day after the night, and both of you made up quickly. He planned that you would travel with him, but due to your schedule, you will only fly to Tokyo. Jungkook was really sad about it, but he knows that you can't do anything about it; exams are exams. He also luckily found his ring back. The two of you are texting and calling each other every time.

"This bitch Nari is giving me a headache. She is with every single one of them," Lia says with frustration. She has a big crush on Namjoon, but she is way too shy to talk to him. You laugh at her, "Don't worry, she only has eyes for Jungkook," you add. "Oh, I can see that," Lia says, and your eyes snap to her.

"What do you mean?" you ask. And she only shows a picture that Jimin posted in his story. They're all sitting at a table, and you can see that Nari is talking to Jungkook. The weird part is that he is laughing at something she said. "Why is he so good-looking, omg!" you say and lay back down on the floor. "I mean, we know Jungkook. He is just kind, so don't worry; she probably didn't say something that funny," she says. "I know, but I don't want him to smile at her so cutely!" you whine.

"I told Jimin to write down all the tea. I hope he is not forgetting about it," Lia tells you. You sit up and drink from your beer. "I miss my baby," you say. Lia looks at you with a sad face. "You will see him next week. That will be over quickly," she assures you.

•

Back at home, you patiently wait for Jungkook's call. You need to tell him good luck before his match begins. When the familiar ringing disturbs your quiet room, you quickly grab your phone and answer it.

"Baby, I missed you!" you tell him. "I missed you too! How are you?" he asks with a big smile. "I'm good, but what about you? Are you nervous?" you ask him. He is walking around his room. "I am a little. But I know that seeing your face will give me luck," he says while winking at you. You giggle at his playfulness. "I wish you luck, love. You will do great. Be careful, okay?" He nods. "I will," he answers.

You hear some voices in the background, and Jungkook's attention is shifting to someone else. It's the perfect opportunity to watch him. "Baby, I need to go. I will call you after the match, okay?" he says. "Okay! I love you," you tell him, and the call ends. You can't wait to be finally there with him.

He called you after his match to celebrate his win. Also, he called you in Paris, but before his flight to Tokyo, he couldn't reach you. His calls automatically went to voicemail.

•

"Maybe her phone broke down or something like that, bro. Don't worry," Jimin says. "It's been a day, Jimin. She would call me from Lia's phone or ask a neighbor. I need to fly back home," he says while pulling his hair. "Look, first we will go to the hotel, and then we can call Lia. Maybe she knows where she is. I don't think that she disappeared like that," Hobi tells him.

"Or maybe you did something really bad and she blocked you. Maybe even moved out by the time you come back?" Jin wonders. Everyone turned towards him in disbelief. "You really think this is the right time to joke?" Namjoon asks. Jin just shrugs his shoulders. While on the way to the hotel, Jungkook tries to call you again and again, but there are no answers.

"Even Lia doesn't know where she is," Jungkook says. He is seconds away from passing out. In every scenario he is going through, you are lying on the ground with blood everywhere. Maybe he is a little overdramatic, but it could be true, right? No, he prays that he is just sick.

"I don't even see a point in checking in!" he says, and his voice is already louder than before. "Omg Jungkook, calm down. If something happened to her, you would be late anyway," Nari says with annoyance. Jungkook turns around to look at her. "I don't remember that I talked to you," he snaps. Jimin laughs at that but stops when Jungkook looks at him. "Let's go to the room, and then you can look for flights back to Seoul, okay?" Namjoon says.

Jungkook walks to his room, which is bigger than the ones in London and Paris. His mind is going wild every second that he is still here. When he opens the door to his room, he falls on his knees in disbelief. You're standing right in front of him with a big smile. "Baby, you did so well! I watched everything!" you say. And then you tilt your head to the side. "Why are you sitting there on the floor?"

"Baby, are you serious? I was so worried! Why would you ghost me?" he says with a frown. You laugh at his cute face. "Oh, come on! I wanted to surprise you. Get up and come here. I ordered a cake. Your favorite with strawberries," you tell him. He jumps on his feet and hugs you from behind. You feed him one spoon of the cake. He groans at the sensation. At the same time, he kisses your neck and shoulder. "You're so greedy," you tell him while putting your hand above his on your tummy. "Only when it's you," he says and eats the rest of the slice.

•

After a quick shower, you join him on the couch. "How is your nose?" you ask. He looks at you with guilt. "I told Jimin to give me updates about you. And you really thought I wouldn't know about your bruised nose?" "It doesn't hurt anymore," he says softly. You kiss him on the cheek. "Be careful tomorrow," you say and lean against his arm. He wraps his arm around you and watches his favorite movie.

"Lay on your stomach. I will give you a good massage," you say. He smiles and lays down the way you told him. With every movement of your hands, he groans. "You have magic hands, baby," he says, and you can literally feel his body relaxing under your touch.

•

"I'm so excited!" you tell Tae, who is standing next to you. "Me too, princess. Are you mad at me that I chose Nari as the camera guy?" he asks. This question was on his mind for a long time. "No, I'm not. Oh my god, did you think that the whole time?" you ask in disbelief. He shyly nods. "Yeah, I know how she is and that you don't like her. I don't like her too, by the way, but she was the only one available for this time." You pat his arm. "All good really. And it's good that you don't like her. We need a tea session back home." He laughs at that and winks.

When the match starts, you cheer for Jungkook, and you can't deny that he looks hot. Every time he is sitting in his corner for a little break, you can see how passionate he is about this. And it breaks your heart that you had some arguments about his job. You love him, and he loves you. That should be the only thing that matters.

Besides that, you're also thinking about boxing because the way Nari is touching him makes you see red. At the same moment, Jungkook's eyes find yours, and they sparkle. You send him a flying kiss, and he acts like he is catching it.

It's not a big surprise that he won this one too. His face was a little red from all the attacks that he couldn't dodge. You're happy and proud at the same time. You know that winning every single match on this tour will help him with new contracts.

Back at the hotel, you celebrate together. Everyone is drinking and laughing about some stories. Jungkook's hand is on your thigh the whole night, and you always think about what you did in your last life to be this lucky to have him. Every time he looked at you, you could feel the warmth of his pure love.

Your only wish is that he will be safe and healthy. He would, right?

Authors note:

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Feel free to share your thoughts with me <3 lots of love

#kookochan #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenarios #jungkook oneshot #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #bts #bts au #bts x reader

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