#I got out a flashlight and thought abort somehow signaling before deciding it wouldn’t work and someone in the boat became so disgusted by
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr’s reach among the 26-to-35-year-olds in the US is 11%.
Text
I want this week to be over and it only just started goddamnit.
#it’s been very bad. I am unhappy. feeling very poorly all around.#I think the monkey paw curled one finger when I had a freak out and started wishing I never had to see my classmate again because feelings#are too complicated and intimidating.#dog got incredibly sick and had a seizure but I can’t convince anyone to take him in to the vet and he’s not mine. got sick yesterday.#had to drive to the east side to babysit while someone shopped but due to a miscommunication I arrived late which not only looks bad for me#also meant I only got $40 to drive an hour out of my way. while ill.#and of course just generally confused about the classmate. he’s back and wants to meet on Wednesday. I definitely don’t want to see him if#I’m stuffed up and chapped and snotty and phlegmy and morose. just feeling ugly inside and out today.#I also wish I had like different friends to talk about it with. one is just going on about me being used by a man for a ‘situationship’ and#her concerns about me being led on. the other is a relationship anarchist who’s advice is like…none of these feelings matter and then#pivots into needing affirmation about her unrequited love for her partners partner that she just broke up with.#so one I’m not concerned about being used for a situationship because I don’t know that I even want a relationship. I’m worried I’m somehow#leading him on. and two yeah I know relationships don’t have to look the way sitcoms make them but I have zero frame of reference I need#some advice and help from you here since you have experience dating people and being intimate with them.#ugh and just everything is feeding into everything so I’m very angry and feel awful.#I keep thinking he’s been away for over two weeks and comes back to the swamp thing. yeah that would really help this move along 🙄#I’ve been sleeping all afternoon and literally had a dream that I was back in college but it was filled with high school classmates and we#had to evacuate the building into an airplane which crashed in the lake. we climbed into two life boats and I started asking in a panic#about my classmate and someone told me he might be in the next boat but we had no way to call.#I got out a flashlight and thought abort somehow signaling before deciding it wouldn’t work and someone in the boat became so disgusted by#me and accused me of not really caring since I wouldn’t even try.#turned out he was in the boat and I started crying and hugging him but he was so disgusted by me as well that I woke up.#hmm. need to get that diary.
0 notes